Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - "I Need Money!" w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Tell Us About Your Small Business Here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd3YRknM7u4NOMJLQ0OjCfW7Tf53zuVaBvaPUxoY7EwNcAeGw/viewform?usp=send_form NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: ZocDoc: Taking care of your health just got easier – start here with Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/GARBAGE Promo Code: GARBAGE Pestie: Protect your home from summer bugs. Go to https://pestie.com/AYG for 10% off your order. Promo Code: AYG Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is IU Gabbitt. Oh, yeah. It's that little show. We sit down to your favorite comedians and we find that after a group to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash.

I'm your host, Tage Tully coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. And if you listen closely, you can hear the sounds of the blender going, which means Antutti's going to spend the afternoon in Margaritaville. Get into a Fook, dude. I thought that was God damn good I'm laughing

My co-s coming night from across the tables We call a family episode Just the boys The bozos of the homies Just the way we like it Give it up for KJ Kevin James

My best pal Ryan Hey what's up gang Shout out to you Uh as always please make sure You rate and you subscribe on iTunes Full video available on YouTube Full video available over there on Spotify And a boys are climbing a freaking charts

For killing it Uh Then obviously Obviously the great He's killing it. He's killing it. I'm killing it. Everything's fucking cool.

You're killing the vibe. Talk about losing the room. Patreon.com, gang. Let's go over there. You sign up. You get up to fucking, at this point, pushing six years of business content. A lot of, a lot of good, good episodes over there. Go check it out.

A lot of good storylines. A lot of things going on. Uh-huh. 2X shirt, baby. How you doing? That's great. Very proud of you. You look good.

That in the jeans. You got new jeans, too. Yeah. You don't like them, do you? I don't know. I don't like it either. They're like a weird gray. They're like 2010.

Yeah. That's all they had. 2010's at the size. Now, I tell you, you go over that DXL. If there's a skinny kid back there, he don't give a shit. Diesel liked that. I just got a thumbs up. I need a fucking quarter pounder in there.

What's that? I'm big boy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what don't they care about? Why can't you just do? I don't understand. You can't do the shopping.

You tried face. He's timing me this weekend. I just wanted to show you a pair of jeans. I thought you're going to kill yourself. I go, I can't pick this up. If he's on top of a roof or something, I don't have it in me to talk him off. Yeah, no, yeah, you're worth it.

You're having sleep. I'm watching forensic file. It's just that dark hotel room. Not, no, not, not, not, not, not, not. I said it once, I'll set it again. You could have, should have killed me, when he had a chance. I don't know why you think we're so adversarial.

Why do you think I should have killed you? This is your problem. There's always a good, there's always a good guy and a bad guy. And I don't know, hey, newsflash. You should have killed me. If I was a dog, you would have shot me. That's all behind us now. Now we're chilling.

Homeless, but. Between apartments. But yeah, there you go. You got to spin the narrative. I'm spicing it up. Hey, I'm between apartments right now. I'm going to be down there, Cousinians. Start throwing parties when he's not around

That's good That's what two guys in rehab should be doing Throwing parties Well, except for them mocktails You charge a lot of money for them My wife, they bang me out every time we go out I'll do the mocktail I go, let's get a fucking soda lady

There's more than my fucking jalopy IPA At mocktail, get the fuck you Juice I crush I can't sip anything I got down it I've never seen you sip anything Yeah, I can't sip. Even martinis I used to fuck.

Why are you using that mug? It should be no free promo. She'd sit down like Floyd Mayweather and go, is that a pain for this and fucking throw it out? How do you not having to work in a deal with Dominoes? We're a Tooty mug family, gang. Tootty mug. Domino's.

Actually, the way it's angled, you can't see the mug. Good. Blur it out. No, stop, stop it. I'll drink this. You probably got some side deal cooking, don't you? My left arm's been hurt Luke, did you get the pictures I said?

I did. Cool. Surveillance footage of you? What? Man. Who. You want to? Yes.

So listen. We're a big supermarket store. Yes, we are. We have our favorites. We have ones we like. It's a little bit of a suburban Americana. I love the suburban supermarket, especially as we always say in the summertime. Yes.

When the living's easy. I took this very picture at a suburban supermarket in the summertime. Wegmans? Acmey? Shop right. You've been crossing the line? I've been all over. If I do a lot of running around, I'll stop at a nice joint.

You will, huh? Yeah. Stop at a shop right? Uh-huh. This is actually in the parking lot. someone someone, some woman goes, Holy shit, it's Kippy. I said, hey, how you doing?

Get out of here. No, it's not. You didn't see me. And she goes, oh, my God. You got a racing form under your arm? She goes, oh, my God, can you take a picture? She's asked her mom. She has her mom to take a picture.

And she goes, yeah, and then her mom the whole time, who the hell is it? Who is it? Who the hell is he? Who is he? He's like, it's Kippy. And every. time somebody says it's Kippy, they act like

that helps. If you don't know, you don't know. Kippie, yeah. Gippie Martin. Sounds like a Muppet. But that's in a very nice suburban shop right. Mm-hmm. Can I say this real quick? I've said it before. I'll tell you what, the bakery department at these grocery

stores. They really stepped up. They really have. They really have. Next time you go in there, you get a dessert. Stop at the fucking bakery and get whatever they got going on that day. Those ice cookies, they do all kinds of fun stuff. And usually on like a Sunday night if you're having, well,

I used to have dinner with my family. They don't talk to me anymore. Fucking bullshit. Should I? Fuck I do. They should have killed you when they had the chance. Yeah, I should have.

I get the invite down there no more. You know how it is? Fucking. Either, either died a hero. You live long enough to become the bug man. But anyway, when I had a family, you go over there,

you get like, you know, they do brownies and stuff like that. They really, they're making that dare, I assume, right? I got to get two things. One, Denise got into it with the bakery lady very recently.

That's always awkward, man. And Patty would have beef with somebody at the deli counter or the seafood. I get over there. They told me he wanted to get a cake. And, like, have it was. These old brothers don't like being told no. Yeah, well, the woman, like, I don't think we can get. Something gave her two.

That's the last thing Denise needs is two. We can't get that. Dude from a 20, yeah, two from a 24-year-old Denise ain't named. Yeah, with a nose ring or something. Yeah. No. I'm looking for some assistance over here. That's bad.

I said, you know what? See you later. And I went over to, you know, whatever. I went over to corporate. You said, I went over to act me. She said, yeah, pick out any cake you want. We'll pull whatever on it. So I think, too, you get yourself a cake over there.

How do you feel about this? Nadine did this, and I didn't know the other day. I guess it was that like a traitor Joe or something like that? you can funny ways Trader Joe She doesn't pluralize Trader Joe

So I went to Trader Joe She sounds Asian I went to Orido Joe I hope she doesn't see this Her or not like it when I make fun of this thing Specifically Really? Yeah

That's her button huh? I mean It's not so much the button It's the amount I do it It's exaggeration I do on it. To our loved ones.

We get old quick, don't we? Oh, so sweet. I'll rot your teeth. You know what I mean? I can't turn it off. Oh, buddy. It hasn't been on it. I don't like this commentary or the narrative you're spending.

All right. So you had a shop, right? No. Nadine bought this. I guess it's fancier. I don't know of like a regular shop. Luke would know this. This is in Luke's wheelhouse.

And maybe you've even dabbled. Hmm. Not the picture. But. I get there the other day. There's like a bagget in a bag. Right? You know what I mean?

Yeah. It's sealed. I open it up. I know you're talking about it. I start eating it. It's brown. It stinks. What?

You buy it and then you got to cook it to last like eight minutes. How do you feel about that? What the heck is even that? I tell you what? A toast bread. It's always better. But who's got the time? What are you doing?

I'm hungry. What do you mean? What am I doing? I'm looking for a little bit of carbohydra. I'm looking for a nice baguette. So what, it was bad? It stunk. I gave some of the baby.

He didn't like it. Yeah, it's like, see if you can find it. They're like cooked 75% of the way or something. And then you do that? Can you, I don't know. Did you half cook a bread and then keep it and then cook it again? She goes, were you? I knew right at the cut when I was cutting it wasn't that good.

She goes, did you eat? Like it later that day? She goes, did you eat that? Salmonella. Or what's in bread? Celiac. Celiac. Get that sourdough in you.

Get all fucked up. A face of the dough. What do you got? They're called parbaked. Parbate. Yeah, you got to preheat the oven for about 10 minutes. You know, fire that in there. Preheating for a little snack?

I ain't preheating. As a kid, the oven might as well been a death sentence. You got to lightly mist it with water, wrap loosely and foil to prevent drying out. What? So, you're fucking, we're doing everybody's job here? Yeah, what the hell? The fucking bread, will you? That's crazy.

I said, what are you doing buying half-baked shit here? That's crazy. Hey, Warner, brother. Got me fucked up. I know you lying. Cut out the mojo. I'll tell you this. You know, the garlic bread in the silver thing, that's not cooked either, but still.

But that's a dish. You're buying that knowing you got to do that. I haven't had garlic bread in a minute. That's a lot. We should just have more east end the corner And that's a lot I haven't a garlic bread You just stole my bit that I did

Yeah And what comes out first This is a hard feeling You just You just scooped my bit Scooped That's a lie It's not hitting you

Belkn you Um Yeah that call I haven't had garlic bread in a long time What's a long time for you? Just curious. I can't even remember the last time had a nice piece of garlic bread.

Must have been like 15 BC or something like that. The Romans were still banging. I think it was back in a restaurant in Mesopotamia. Me and this Sumerian broad were sitting down to a bowl of Banakadi, and I said, hey, how about a little garlic bread? You don't like that? What? I can.

It was everything. Mesopotamian, Sumerians? You know the Samarians? I could use a Sumerian. Hey, you were right there. I know. What is it, though? Probably that yeast.

Yeah, I got fucking yeast going in my brain. You know, that's what the... Mesopotamians and Samarians. They're ancient civilization. No, I know what it is. I was trying. Who had way more stronger technology than people let on. I was all buried by the Vatican.

Good job. You rule. That was one for the good guys. But whatever. I'm at a fucking shop, right? You buy yourself? I'm by myself. I love it.

I love pulling in. You know what I do? kind of a douchebag move I got big you got big Tahoe Handicap Park a Parking a fire Fire lane out front

Parking the fucking I park about 75% back Parking the cart car out why They're a big A big car Park 70% back in the spot No in the lot I'm not like going for the first spot

No You know what I mean I go back a little bit I never I like stretching the leg That's the one time I like walking It's through a grocery door parking I'll park even a mall

I'll park a little bit Yeah, I don't mind. Yeah. Growing up, it was this, like, feat to get to the closest possible one. It's fucking 25. You're going to walk around in the mall anyway. Mm-hmm. Let's you get that Aeney's pretzel.

Orange Julius. We never had a Julius. There's egg whites in. They stopped making them or something. Yeah, something happened. The half-fake? But I'm at the... I go to get a cart out of the front of the store.

Mm-hmm. Have a list in your hands? It's on the phone. Dunsky? A list on my hand like a... No, it's on the phone. What? It used to be fucking in the city, banging.

I still have. Fucking. Oh, I'm not allowed to go to the store? Walk around with the heater and the burner. What happened to me? What happened to you? You're currently homeless. I'm right here.

And you make more money than a doctor. A good doctor. Speaking of doctors. I need somebody in a real estate game in New York City. today for a place tonight a real estate broker in New York I'm looking at a place

I want a couple places over in a hell's kitchen all right and all this bullshit about making 10 times whatever having that in the bank account we don't need we didn't do you don't need that

all right I get a letter from my boss telling you what I make and I can cover it help me out the last thing I know also if you're in Annie Ann's out there I'm looking for a job

looking for a part-time gig I applied to DXL. I'm waiting to hear back. Good. If I get the store on sixth app, I'm taking it. I said this would be good for you. You get out?

You know what I mean? A couple of hours. Talk to people. I'll move that. I can't fold clothes, though. That's what I told them. That's the whole job. Yeah, that's what the kid said.

I talked to the kid in Denver. And I was in Denver, I went to DXL and I was talking to the kids. How do they treat you here? Pretty good. Pretty good job. You got to fold all these clothes? How long is a lunch break at DXX? I don't know.

Four hours. It's got to be a minute, dude. It's got to be a stretch. It's probably a regular, but then you get a 40-minute nap. Shut it down. It's like kindergarten. Hey, all, everybody's got a bottle of milk laying there. Keith David comes in and read you a story.

Who's Keith David? Who's Keith David? Are you crazy? You don't know who Keith David is? He played a fucking, what's her name? What's the blonde chick's name? In order to explain who this actor is you have to... Something about Mary.

Who am I thinking of? What's her name? Pam Anderson. God damn it. What's the chick's name? Don't tell them. Don't tell them. What's her name? The blonde had a chick.

She was in the mask. Scarlett Johansson. No. Charlie Staron. I can see her face. See the knockers, too. Fucking pussy brain. What's your name, Luke?

Jennifer Anderson. Come on, Luke. Courtney Cox. Come on. What's her name? Meg Ryan. Drew. Whatever.

She played his dad. He was in a fucking platoon. Played his dad in what? She played Mary's dad. Cameron Crow. No. Cameron Crow? Mary's dad.

He played Mary's dad. The black guy played Mary's dad. You don't know who Keith David is. He's just got a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame. That's all bought. You got a fucking 50 grand. I'll get you one this weekend. Is that 50 Gs?

I think. Find out with the, yeah. You got to buy those. Huh. Not in a nice part of town. either. That downtown L.A. is a good ruse. Yeah, a place gives me the he be. What's your name? Look, please. You're going to drive me crazy. Cameron Diaz.

Cameron Diaz. It costs 85 grand to get a star on the... That's all you got to do. There's Keith Davis. You recognize him once you see him. I thought that was fucking Ernie Wells. What's his name? Ernie Hudson. Ernie Hudson. That's Mr. Keith David. Brilliant actor. Looks like an R&B singer. I know you fucking lying. Shout out to Mojo Brooks.

We quote Mojo, former guest of the show. I mean, he gets quote, if we're on the road, if we're in the car or the green room together, I know you fucking lying. But whatever, let's get back to this freaking shop. I'm going to go. That was the funniest thing ever.

All right, so you're in a shop, right? I'm at a shop, right. I go to grab a cart. Yes. I know there's been advances in technology. AI, chat GPT. Luke hit them. This is a cart that you just, I believe you just put your stuff in,

and then you pay on the cart. What's that cup thing? I think it's a cup holder. That's what blows your mind. I know, I mean, you're like, it's crazy. I thought you put that. I thought it was a recycling. All right, so you pull that out in the carts open?

Yeah, it's like a shopping cart with an iPad on it. It's got car play on there. You plug your phone in. No way. Those are the mojo Brooks on it. No shit. Yeah, you listen to Keith Adam. I respect.

Keith David. I respect. He's done a lot of narration. He's got a great voice. Okay. Oh, he's in Rick and Morty, too. Does a lot of Rick and Morty. Yeah.

So then if you scan to the next one, there's instructions. Skip the line every time pay on caper cart. That's great. That's great. That's great. Yeah Scan the QR code To add your payment method

In the ShopRite app Sign in before scanning On your next ShopRite Logging to the ShopRite account On Caper cart Checkout pay on cart And then you just fucking go At checkout pay on card

But people got to be stealing With that Right Yeah but then they're just This is another way to cut out fucking Did I ask you this on air I can't remember When they did sell checkout

They I was listen I was in the I was in the trenches when they rolled that out. We did this on air, right? They know people are going to steal. Yeah.

You have this thing of drinking when I'm about to drink. It's crazy. Scoop you. That's a lot. How do you feel about that? I think it's cool. Yeah, you know what I mean? I think it should be easier than the whole app thing.

It should just like ring it up. I can tap my card and get the fuck. I don't like logging in and what's the thing, by the ba-de-a-ba-you-you-gada-you-up-di-b- because then you don't go in and then you've got to update your wallet. That's the shit that kills me. I like the, I like the convenience and the idea of all this,

but the, it should just be like a fucking, you got, you can tap with your card. Hmm. You know what I mean? Cause then it's like, log in,

then you gotta like, you gotta use that plaid or whatever to like log into your bank account. There's like 15 emails. Is there a way? So can you scan it? Do you have to scan it with your phone or you scan it with like a scanner in the cart? What do you mean? Like,

like if you could just scan your items as you put them in the cart and then have like a tap to pay? And then like a tap to pay on the whatever, yeah. Why don't you look up caper card? I don't know. I just didn't even realize you were scanning them. I just thought you just put it in there and it recognized it somehow. Oh, you didn't use it? No.

Oh. I was only grabbing it. I was grabbing ice. Yeah, I think you. And chafing vision. I think the scanner is probably in the front. In the front. She'd have the gun.

I like the gun. Pulling the gun. Depot or something. Target has the gun too. Target's got it. Walmart's got it. Walmart's got anywhere. Where it did Depot.

Deep, beep, beep, beep. Put it on my nuts. Two million they want for them. So it says the carts instantly identify items dropped into the basket using 360-degree AI cameras. Yeah. So you just place it in there and it gets it. That's crazy. You can even weigh produce items and deli items on the fly?

That's pretty good. I feel like I'm an ad-sman. What? I feel like I'm a spokesman for them. On the fly? Whoa, that's going to save me time. What do you think about that? I can get home and watch anime porn.

Let me ask moderate successful stand-up comedians and podcasters. Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, what they think of caper cart. I think it's unbelievable. Or even is it caper? Caper cart. Caper cart. Anywho. Caper.

That's all right, though. The name sucks. Name stinks. Somebody's going to buy that, change it up. It's going to be a rip cart or something like that. There you go. Rip cart. Yeah, rip cart.

Grab a rip cart. Grab a rip cart. Grab a rip cart, dude. Just grab a fucking rip cart, mine. Fast cart. Fast cart's great. Cut that? Fast card is a good idea.

Scoop. Excuse me. Kevin's talking about Zock Doc, baby. Zock, now I've been seeing this. This is very interesting. I like this. I got a lot of problem making appointments and finding the doctor and all that kind of stuff.

Zock Doc makes it easy. Yes. Where you are, list of doctors, bang, helps you sign up for him, get your appointments ready to go. It's really fast and easy. I love when somebody comes up with something smart like this that streamlines a process.

You don't got to call the office. Is this guy this? Does he take this insurance? Take that insurance. Zock Doc does it all for you. Yes, I found my current doctor at Zock doc doc. I needed a physical probably about a year and a half ago. I remember this.

I'm just the guy. I don't have all this stuff. I don't like calling and go, I take all, cut out of the middleman. I chose it online. Ended up loving the guy. He's now my go-to-guy. There you go. Shout out.

General practitioner. Yes, Zock, let you search and compare local in-network doctors. You can do it by all whatever you got. Bing, bang, boom. It gives you, hey, you can be in there by noon-day type deal. Let's go. They have more than 150,000 providers within 200 plus specialties across all 50 states.

Zock Dock's website has tons of reviews from real patients and detailed doctor profiles to help you choose the right one. See actual appointment openings and click to instantly book a visit. I don't, not to make it, not to talk it down. It's like booking a reservation at a restaurant. Easy. It's that easy. They've cut out all the red tape, all the middlemen. Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated.

Find and book the right doctor. with Zockdock. Head to Zockdoch. com slash garbage. You get started and check that appointment off your to-do list. That Zoc, Zoc, DOC, dot com slash garbage, do it. Do it. Do it.

Okay, but you're talking about Pesty. Pesty. Now, you're the homeowner. Big Pesty guy. But Pesty just popped up over a Patti's place. No way. She's got the dog. She wants to make sure that any infestationary pests are under control,

but she wants to take care of her animal. You know what I mean? Yes. Do yourself a favor. Go over to Pesty. Yes, Pesty is one of the things. Listen, my wife's at the forefront of figuring stuff out. She's getting to brands before we were using it before they were even a sponsor.

Then they were nice not to sand a handheld note to me. Very nice. But listen, it's cool. It comes. You get the whole package. You dump the stuff in. You mix it up. It gives you a pair of gloves.

You feel cool. You get a little pumper. And I did it. I did it the first year. Boom. Put it aside. Went back the next year. Plug it right back in.

I don't know how long they say it. It is very quick. I did it. Bing, bang, boom. Did two laps around a house, out the door. I think you got to let it drive for an hour or something. It's like, you can, you know, it's safe for the kids. The pets, the whole nine freaking yards.

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You got bigger issues. It's kid and pet friendly and offers 100% bug-free guarantee or your money back. Keep bugs out of your summer sanctuary with Pesty. Go to pesty.com slash a Y-G for an extra 10% off your order today. That's P-E-S-T-I-E. Dot for an extra 10% off. Do it. It's all changing, man.

It's all AI, dog. All AI. You always talk like you're like buttoning up a movie. It's all changing, dog. All right. Fucking no country for fat man over here. Zip it. Well, I guess you get caught living or you get caught dying.

That's right. Speaking of it, speaking of. More words from Capricart. That speech at the end of No Country for old men, the guy in the wheelchair. Oh, it's so good. His uncle. Hoo. You know, waiting on you.

That's vanity. You got to put a tournicking on it. Do you have any other notes on 20-year-old movies we can talk about? Also, that's like, that's like the most famous, like, ending of a movie. That and six cents when you find out he's a ghost the whole guy. I told you that. I told you that. Pat stole that grudge against me. You told him?

Yeah, he's like, dude, you fucking ruined six cents from here. I've never seen the movie. So I don't know. He's like still hold. That was a shocker. That's a movie I wouldn't mind going. That's something you can just watch. Six cents?

Yeah. It makes you really miss Philly. They shoot over there on fucking. Spruce Street, the Lancy. That part of Dallas. Sure. You don't have a house here. You want to place down in a fucking written house square?

If you can't afford house kitchen, definitely can't afford written house square. Somebody hit me up. Seriously, inquires only. You're looking to rent. Yeah. Okay. All right. What?

I'm looking to rent, but I know Manhattan's fucking all boozy. You got to have like 10 times to rent in your bank account. and all that shit. This all really depends how much you and J.B. are going to play ball with you. Don't do this to me. What do you think? It's not me playing ball.

It's J.B. What do you mean? Yeah. No, we went over this. You think you can use the corporate bank account. Why not? Game's over, man. What?

This is the third time we're going through this. When? You know when? What? Last summer. All right. I'm all clean now. This apartment.

Uh-huh. You were supposed to... This is very hard feeling. You were supposed to use this apartment to get your feet under you. Right. And you didn't. I did. I paid some things off.

Okay. But I got fucking ten times a rent. I wasn't saying you do. That's why you're moving with cousin Ian. Yes. Get your feet under. That's great for you. It's great for content.

It's like living in the box. It's like when the heavyweight champ goes back and lives in the boxing gym. You got two, you got too rocky too, man. You got tigers and shit. You got fucking corvettes. You're living the fucking movie star life. You got to get back in there. Real feel.

Mickey's dead. The link's dead. You know what I mean? Get back in the gym. Live it. You stop living it, man. I'm taking pictures of fucking shopping cart. What the hell are you talking about?

What the hell are you talking about? But think about that. That year back in there, hand-to-hand combat. You and Ian laughing. coming up with stuff. Mm-hmm. Got a problem with him. Go for it.

Called no cameras. Take bets on Cal She. You don't know how long that fucking left. Chat to my cousin Ian out there. Obviously, cousin Ian. My boy. You know what's pretty cool is that a live show? Some people will wear cousin Ian shirts and be like, I've got to represent the family.

Love it. Which you love to fucking see. Someone yelled out Ian the other day at the, just yelled it out. They were like, Ian. Where did I see a Matt and Shane T-shirt? Was that one of the guys in the special? One of the audience members in the special? I don't know.

What special you're talking about? Special we got coming out in September. Whoa. Big, are you garbage special coming out in September. All are you garbage? Film down there at side splitters. Tampa over the weekend. It's our best work.

Excited about it. More at 11. More to 11. Yeah. All right, listen, I'm not screwing around with you what you have in your bank account. What you don't have in your bank account. Let's, uh... I'm aware that I've made some mistakes.

I'm on it up to them. Yeah, no one's saying you're not. Cool. So we're cool. Everything's erased, right? Starting now. It's just hit me with a reset, will you? You've gotten, what reset can I give you?

You want more money. That's what you want. It's not a reason. It's not about money. You seem to make it about money. I don't know the word bridge loan was thrown out. advanced oh great

chilling you're about as straight as Mateo lane dog shout out to Mateo Lane out there on fucking Broadway they can talk about family starting in Chicago on goddamn Broadway

now he's a good actor he's a great actor that kid can do everything I was a shot at you oh fair enough hey I take it now that's a guy with talent really does

yeah he fucking singing dancing he's like acting he's telling drawing, tight little body on him too. He's talented to the fact where I just, like, to the point where I go, like, I don't even know. Like. It's crazy.

We do the same thing. I mean, we, yeah. We don't. Sure. But, yeah, you're just like, oh, wow, that's. Yeah. We can be funny in conversation. It's like, that guy is like, just fucking, I can riff.

You know what I mean? That guy's a goddamn singer. You guys are doing Chicago overall? Chicago. Yeah. I wouldn't mind seeing that. I wouldn't mind doing Moulon. Really?

I've seen Miss Saigon and I've seen Le Miserables. That's the only two Broadway shows I've ever seen. I don't go in for all that Disney shit, the fucking Lion King and all that crap. I like straight plays, old school. Mammett. Pinter. Mamet, old school, he's alive, doesn't he? No, but that's old, like straight play.

No music. You know? You liked them? Yeah. What was the last one you went and saw? I couldn't tell you. Yeah, you don't like them that much. You like saying that you like it.

I think I had garlic bread that night. I'm saying I would go. Well, you don't. No. You would do a lot of shit. Sure. Yeah. Well, if I get this place over in Hell's Kitchen, I'll be right.

I'll be right in the theater district. Yeah, there's some people who are braggit line you out with a broker. But they're like, they're not. Yeah, see, no, I need. They're like corporate broken. Nah, I need somebody that's going to play ball at a big, at a big high-rise drink. Why don't you get a longer sublet? Longer.

Sublet. Yeah, like an eight-month sublet or something. They still check the books and shit. I don't anybody snooping around. No. What? Get Patty to co-sign. Fuck that.

Hey, be in bed with her. She'll get denied, too. Why, it's not as bad as you think. She'll get denied, too. I should get Luke. Fucking little shit. Be working at a footlocker. She's getting your, getting your employees.

to fucking go sign for you. His wild word. Shark! You live a specific life. You've made some great decisions and horrible decisions that means. Yes. That's crazy. Very true.

Yeah, you have an employee. That's what a wild way to live life. You have an employee who could go sign for you? Four employees. Five if I count you. A girl who does my books. You got more than that. Do I?

I guess full-time employees There's one, two, three There's four Nice Then a lot of independent contractors Look, I can them for a couple of weeks Keep their checks Don't think that hasn't crossed your mind

Convinced them all to go on strike Or something like that You didn't have to get this Bray Start embezzling the fucking union dudes Hey Hoffa Yeah right Then I end up fucking, then De Niro kills me.

That's your dream, though, right? What? De Niro killed you? Yeah. You ever think you'd be all right. I'd rather be Pacino. I'm honestly more of a Pacino, man. De Niro.

Hula! I told you to say he pops out of your closet in Hill's Kitchen. I got him cheap. All right. Let's get out of business. It's a goddamn family episode. Gagg, as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, You submit your question.

I've been on the air by Kevin Ryan himself. And if you're selected, do you get the, you get to co-sign for Mr. H. Foley? You know, I should be hitting up. Who? I don't know who. I don't know. It'll come to me. Well, he has to, like, one of our rich friends.

Who? You know who? Kreischer? Any of them. Segoora? Shultzzi? Shultzzi? What, to co-sign or just?

I just give some cash. Yo, why you fucking let me get straight here. Going through rebuilding phase. Yeah, why don't they'll break you off? You think? Nah, couldn't do that. They saved off the cosine. No.

What do you think they would? They need content too. That's true. No, I would never. Listen, we're joking here. I would never ask somebody to fucking do that. I'm not a fucking dirt bag. What?

All right, I'm a dirt bag. You just as me. I wouldn't go. Yeah, you're different. You're family. I'm not going to fucking Shulton asking him for like a $75,000 loan, which he's got. What's the investment term?

I'm overextended or leveraged or what's the like? I mean like your cash poor, but I'm like liquidity issues. Liquidity. I got broke. I blew it all on drugs. Oh, all right, let's go screwing around. Yeah, we got a goddamn show to go. Okay, all right, let's see.

This one is from Matt $10 home. He never had one read. My glasses were on there the whole time. Take it from the top. It's embarrassing. My fucking readers. Embarrassing. That's more embarrassing than being 50 with no money

and asking your mom to co-sign on a loan for you. Talking about it publicly to hundreds of thousands of people. Is that how many people listen to the show? Pretty popular program, which we appreciate you. Thank you. Yes, thank you very much. I felt bad the other day.

I was running from the, I was running home from the airport. I was in a rush. And this kid, like, saw it. It was a crowded airport. And this kid saw me and he was like trying to say what's up. Like, he's like, hey, what's up? Did you see him? No.

Bigger, like kind of stockier, red-headed kid. I hit him with the bug man's right back there. And I had a fucking. I was just when you were moving and shaking. When I was moving and shaking. Wow. And he was very nice. And he came.

He was going to be listening to hold the whole flag. Oh, thanks. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thanks so much. hitting people to God bless you. That hit me. I do that to Uber drivers every once in a while. I doubt they like that. Allah, Akp. No, that's who I hit it to.

You know, and God bless. We're talking J.C. Well, they don't know that. But, you know, whatever higher power they pray to. You know? They appreciate it. He's fucking eyes on you guys. This guy's vulnerable and willing to do anything for a payday. Al-Qaeda real estate. You would be the guy they honeypot. I just got a job entertaining the troops in Yemen. They're good fellas. We should do a U.S.O. Tour.

I've fucking been telling you, man. Get me in a fucking Black Hawk. Black Hawk. Sure. No, if I sent a Black Hawk, that'd be cool. Uh-huh. None of that fucking Germany shit. I want to go out to the front lines.

Maybe I'll catch a frag. Give me a favorite. He steals someone's anger. grenade. Uh, listen, this one's from Matt. We're having fun.

$10. This is all for comedy purposes. Nobody freak out. Everything's cool. He got 800 credit. Yeah. That's another thing to my credit's tank. Come on.

Don't worry about me. You keep bringing a bitch. What do you mean? Drop the juicy tidbit. Your credit was always better than mine. Yeah, well, it ain't no more. Okay. Now pull the shouts.

out of your ears and fucking let's get to work. We're up in the ad reads this. It's 57 ad. You're doing them. Go ahead. This is for Matt. Never had one read. My mom had a slip and fall at the grocery store when I was a kid.

The manager offered a four-pack in New York strips if she didn't file a claim. She came home like we won the lottery and was completely bruised on her left side. That's crazy. That's old school. That's a tough bra. What was it? Four pack of what? Four pack of New York Strip.

New York Strip. What's that go for now in today's dollars? That's probably about $60, $70 worth of meat. Four pack of steaks. Dude, steaks are so expensive. Are they? Yeah. I don't know why.

Especially you go, you look and get a nice steak out, not even a nice place, it's like $48. Mm-hmm. What fuck is this? It's probably running at $15 a steak. She should have fucking sued. I don't know. Juicy.

If they're good, it could be like $25. I wonder why that fucking. I doubt they were good. I think that falls on the store manager, though? Like, why he, I guess maybe like the nose slippings, whatever. Listen, those, I've worked in those corporate things. It's like the people who end up being store manager, like, really fucking care. And, like, they put, you know, part of the company looks for people who will put the company first, kind of.

And, like, not cut corners or whatever, but, like, we'll convince customers to not get, not file a claim. Just because it's just negative, bad, whatever, whatever, cost the money. That way, if they're up for fucking, you know, your store's up for a review and they're like, well, we had to pay out $100,000 in claims for your store, that don't look good on you. No. Rather, four-pack, claim someone stole it. Yeah. There you go.

Books are even, you know what I mean? Sure. I feel you. They're going to go fake and slip and fall out of Wegmans. Never. Which, I've said this before. I don't love a Wegmans, and I found out why. It's too close to Walgreens.

You're not wrong. You're not wrong. I got room for one W store. Yeah, it doesn't do it for me. The aisles aren't all straight. There's a lot of like wacky turn. Then you're in traffic behind. It's just like up and down.

We solved this. Grid system. Grid system. What the fuck? Grid system. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Lewis.

Is it garbage if the McDonald's drive-through cashier calls you a $10 homie for listening to AYG? Let's go. I was getting a coffee before my FedEx shift at 3.30 a.m. listening to the new Patreon at drive-thru, hands me in my coffee and says, what's up, $10, homie? Let's go. Let's go, baby.

That is some blue-collar boys. That's what we're talking about. Guy working at drive-thead with the 3.30 a.m. shift. Guy going to FedEx, 3.30 a.m. shift linking up. Shout out to him. Thank you, fellas. Yes. This is a perfect time to bring up our new segment that we decided to do today.

Okay. Not do it, but we can announce it. Okay. We're going to do a small business spotlight. This came up with, came in the idea of through a listener when I was asking for help with the pool. A bunch of pool guys and electricity. Everybody came out of the woodworks looking to help. I was like, oh, this is really fucking cool.

And some guy was like, dude, you should, you know, let people know if there's someone who does windows in St. Louis that I would rather use a homie or a bozo. Love that. And I was like, oh, that's fucking awesome. Build a network. Yeah, so there'll be a link in the description of this show. You can click that and if you own a small business, only owners of small businesses are like whatever. No screwing around.

Yeah, and you can enter it and we'll pull some and we'll do it and we'll profile them on the show. We'll go over. We'll look at your Instagram, the whole nine yards. I love that. And kind of fucking, you put fill out all the information so we know where you are, what you do, all that kind of stuff. Shout out to it.

Yeah, we'll have a good time with it. While supporting the fucking bootstrapping the goddamn, goddamn army of garbage. You know what I mean? Who do you trust more than a fucking homie and a bozo? That's right. Kim, let's talk about that chili pad 2.0 by Sleep Me. Chili Pa! Are you the kind of person who's constantly flipping your pillow to the cool side of the pillow?

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Yeah. All right, let's see here. What a perfect segue that was. I wasn't even playing. You do very well with those. Kids are good. I've been lucky with the segways. Thank you.

Like Doc Holiday. Quick on the draw. That's when we were out there and fucking out there on red rocks on that hike. I felt like I was in 310 to Yuma. It was hot. Are they red? Are they red? He seemed like a nice guy.

Yeah, they're red. What is that? Clay. I don't know. How old do you think that rock is? 300 million years. Oh, damn, he's good. I know how old rocks are.

Yeah, the structure of the universe. Okay. Why you focus on an apartment, all that, all that brain power, stop cracking the universe. I mean, you crack hell's sketch. Am I right? About 200, about 200, about 200? Yeah. I think you heard us talking.

Scooped him. That was a lot. Which I don't know if I buy that, by the way. What? And they wouldn't be able to tell. that carbon date now carbon dating's only good for good for so long not to mention they wouldn't be sitting there for 300 million years just like that it would have been nobody said they were what they don't well if we found them in the 1800 they could have

been somewhere else three million years ago that's also why they say they were shaped like that why there's like a ridge of them going down there's like 15 of those like I think they're called like the dinosaur spikes or whatever that's result this was loose explained the result of the stuff moving. They weren't always there. Played tectonic? I guess. But, yes.

Very cool. Yeah, it is cool. Millions of years, we're here for blip. Yeah, that dude, that's like, we realized. Shout out Denver. We'd fucking sold out five shows, but the late, late show wasn't fully sold out. There was, like, 20 tickets after that I was, like, really wanted to sell it out. And I was, like, sitting there running my fucking 300 million years old.

I'm worried about selling, like, fucking dust on a fucking, you know, I'm worried shit don't matter is what I'm trying to say. Well, we didn't have selling it out. We did it, five sold-out shows. Yes, very cool. Thank you. Shout out to the fucking all the homies and bozos. Five sold-out shows.

Shout out to the comedy works in Denver. Yes, one of the best clubs in the country. 100%. All right, let's see here. This one's from Marty, $10 Vig contributor. I once saw a guy spray painting his late 90s Mustang in a self-service car wash bay. I don't know if I witnessed a garbage or a cover-up of a major crime. Hmm.

Nothing good happens at those places No, I've always been They were popular in the 80s too I always felt sketchy in there We only have really knew of one And it wasn't in like a great neighborhood I mean we used to have to go pay a bookie there I don't know if you like managed it

Or if that's where he worked or he lived by there But that was my only that was my first We used to go to Car Wash USA That's where we went Sure But then like we would As we got older we were doing like more construction we'd like wash out the back of the bed and stuff if we were like moving rocks or

fucking you know trash you'd spray out the bed but like how much i guess it's probably what like two or three bucks and quarters to spray it down yeah you don't get the wax you don't get nothing you get the soap i guess it's some probably that is for after you hit somebody yeah that's like you're covering something that's hit and run shit get the deer's blood off the front of your car there's also a lot of just not great people hanging out around there a lot of episodes the cops, people getting arrested. Shifty. Yeah.

Because they're never in great neighborhood. And there's no one watching them. Yeah, that's another good. You can hang out. There's like outlets. You can probably plug your phone in. There's a vending machine. There's people coming and going.

You can fucking. Grift them. Yeah. Steal something beg for something. That might be a good job for you. There you go. Check it out. All right.

Let's see here. This is a great name. Worst Summer Ever 2, Electric Bugaloo. $20 Texas trash never have one read you's ever used pretzel sticks as edible chopsticks pretzs sticks as edible chopsticks that's a good time that's all right I'm not good with them pretzel sticks and ice cream is very very underrated I remember doing that as a kid yeah just throwing pretzels and ice cream the salt the sweet that's what it is right yeah that's a pretzel cone yeah which are pretzel cones national sure yeah I don't know probably international I'm

They got Europe, they do big stuff with ice cream. They got a lot going on. They'll do the fucking fake cone and hit you with that thing. That ain't Europe. Not you're not? No. Yeah, if Europe's in Pakistan, what the fuck you're talking about? That's a turkey move?

I hear a lot of things about Turkey. I want to go over there, hang out. No booze, though, right? Oh, what do I care? I don't know. That was your first concern. You tell me what you care. Let's focus on rent first, okay?

Fucking international travels. I might go over there and try this ice cream. You get mad, killed a guy. What? You get mad because he won't give you the cone. I fucking arrest. International incident written all over it. You're an interesting man, Hank.

Interesting man. And that's why we love you. Thank you, Kevin. Cut that. Another deep cut of a name. This one's from Mova. Mova. An initial deep cut.

Come on. Ten dollar chip-ahoy. Never have one red. I want a chip-ahoy. If you know, you know. If you know. If you know. Those are deep Seinfeldian cuts.

I did not. I did not. Is it garbage that my dad once specifically ordered two happy hour margaritas from a waitress because he insisted we arrived at 6.56, four minutes before happy hour ended, but we were deliberately not seated until 702. Whoa. Yes, the manager had to get involved. Wow. Huh. I respect it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see the I see both You give it to him You're a hundred percent Hospitality you give it to him

Guys there You drug your feet sitting them Plus those fucking those Listen listen listen let's cut the bullshit We all know those those happy hour margaritas Are not the same as the regular margaritas It's some premixed or watered down They're in a smaller mug

Whatever it is Just give them the fucking thing Yeah it's also like if these are the two you got to keep And then he's gonna order one or like Yeah you know he's getting fucked up He's drinking he's ordering fucking two margargarit He's arguing over fucking four minutes. He's getting fucked up.

Yeah. But you did come in at like, that's like the restaurant doesn't close to 11. You know, it's vicious as McDonald's with that fucking. I thought it was all day now. No, they cut your right off. I was in a McDonald's drive-thru. That was all day at some point. Or some of them are.

I was in a McDonald's drive-thru not that long ago. And we ordered and then heard the cutoff. That's it. There's some guy behind this. You're mid-order. I'll do two hash pounds. That's all you get. fucking freak out.

That's the system though. That's the computer system. Yeah. But it should be all day. What are we doing? It was. For a minute it was. It was like for COVID for a second.

This is also, I remember living in fucking Queens when I lived in Queens. You lived in Queens. I lived in a story before you, dog. No, it's not true. It is. I lived there 10 years ago. I lived there 100 years ago. You couldn't live there before me.

I lived there. 300 million years ago with the Red Rocks. Because you couldn't live there before me because when I moved up here, I moved into a Queen's apartment. And you hadn't moved up here yet. That wasn't a story. He stood in there in Philly. Figuring it out.

They ended it. Who? Who didn't? No, please. He was going out of some weird competition. They ended it during COVID. During, yeah, because they had it for sure. Because I remember I didn't know they did it.

I was in McDonald's over there on Broadway, like 34th of Broadway. And a fucking guy in front of me ordered like a couple of McGrittles. I said, yo, God, what do you want? Fucking Pluto? And then they gave them to them. They gave them to them. I said, I'll do the big breakfast just as an appetizer. I was a big breakfast kid.

Back in the day. Who? They still do that to big breakfast? Yeah, they got it there. And them sausage patties were fucking something else. A little red pepper flake or something in there and get you going. That'll start your day. All right, let's see.

This one's from Nick Furino. Hey gang, $10 pool, Kemi sponsor, never had one red. Oh, no, never mind. It says never had more than five red. Kids had a couple red. Let's go. Kid writes a good question.

Is it garbage that I cut my nails and trim my beard outside so I don't have to clean up the bathroom? Cut my nails and trim my beard outside so I have to clean the bathroom. Yes, it's a gentleman to move. I don't hate it, but what do you do with this? I need to see the beard. I know. Right?

And I need a, I need a, I need a system to see the side. I got to see it from the angles. Because we guys fucking seven cameras. Maybe he's got a mirror out there. A vanity. A vanity. But out, but then, like... If you got an outdoor shower, I could see it. He also could be a real man.

What's that mean? Like, he just trims it. He just knows how to do it. He has like a good beard where he just has to run, ran. Yeah, but you still need to see. Nah, not these real guys. I don't know about that. Hmm.

So he's still a real real. man can just blindly trim yeah okay um i can't i fucked up in denver gave yourself herpes no i got fucking i'm i'm trimming my beard i looked weird i had to i had to fix it yeah i didn't know a scissors you notice it now good i don't think so would you mess up did my mustache yeah i'd like to shave but it's just i'd look so gross i look gross now but i think you look good you're now Mm-hmm. Huh. Talking to Luke.

No, yeah. I mean, in comparison, you look fantastic. Oh, yeah. You look amazing. I saw that picture from Austin. Oh, that's, I know, we're moving on. We're moving on. Ooh.

Yikes. A Tell's Kitchen, everybody. Hit us up. Um, yeah, I think that would be great. I would just, I would love to do that because I hate the cleanup. So I would be, that would be great. but I would need some sort of mirror system going on. Sometimes I'll film myself like this

that make sure I got everywhere. Like those barber videos. I'll light my hair on fire like those Turkish dudes. Those guys go ham. Yeah. I got nothing else going on. That's how bored they are. I don't need each other's air on fire.

I want to go over there for that. Start drinking. That place probably stinks. I hate burning hair. There's a, I watch a thing in, I think she's from Bethlehem. I get, I get. really weird people and things,

but it's this, she's a girl barber, and she cuts, like, you know, like 12-year-old's hair. I guess like, she asks for their pronouns if she can touch you?

No. Oh, okay. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Is that like hot or like weird? No, it's just being, um, like super safe space. Yeah,

hair cutting. Yeah. I'm talking about it. Dude, I got my hair cut and fucking, did you hear this? I got my hair cut and fucking, where are you,

Denver? I sit down and I'm like looking at the, the, you know, not great looking, the street kind of lady walks by and the guy goes, how many beers would it take? I'm like, what the fuck? They say that about you. At least a case.

Yeah, so that's funny. Different things, different things. All right, let's see here. Enough screwing around. This one's from screaming cold heater. $10 partially used gift card, never had one read. Is it garbage or collect intangible things?

My sister's trying to see a game at every major league ballpark. My stepdad is a chef who wants to eat at the oldest restaurant in every U.S. state before he dies. I think that's great. Said it one more time and hear that again? I just deleted it. Fuck. Idiot. $10 partially used gift card.

Is it garbage to collect intangible things? My sister's trying to see a game at every major league ballpark. That's great. My stepdad is a chef and wants to eat at the oldest restaurant in every U.S. state before he dies. Wow. That's like experience stuff It's like a million times better Pretty trashy though

But I respect it I don't know I mean Just collecting anything's trashy But I would say you're not collecting You're doing stuff Collecting is It at the oldest restaurant in every city

State That'd be Ralph's right in Philly That's the family owned I don't know if that's the old I think their caveat was family owned Gotcha I went to school with them You did

The Rabino But uh But, yeah, I think that's great. I mean, that's like going on vacation. That's like saying, I want to go to 20 countries. You're like going somewhere, doing something with a purpose. There's history. You know.

Same thing with the ballpark. I mean, I don't think the Major League ballparks are the most culturally defined things. Sure. You're still like, it's still the motor that makes you go to a city, do stuff, experience, just spend time with friends, family, whatever. So it's like, it's better than collecting fucking beef. Ganey babies are Starbucks mugs like this weirdo. Hey, man.

Don't get me started with the Starbucks mugs. What? I don't collect them. Is there a collection of them? Sure. Are they all in just a regular cabinet? Yeah. Behind glass.

You must have a lot. You must have a lot of lock and key. You must have a lot of mugs. Yeah, it's probably like eight to ten at this point. What? I got like 25. 25 total mugs? Yeah.

What are you living in a diner? I don't know. We got a hell of mugs. Who collects them? My girl, like my girl drinks tea a lot, so as the English do. Hello. And I like have a good coffee mugs. Yes.

I always buy a good mug whenever I see it. See, there you go. He gets it. I have any mugs. Uh-huh. You don't have a house to put them in. What are you talking about? It'd be weird to, it'd be weird to bring you had to move your coffee mugs from

hotel room to hotel room. They're clanking around. Like Jacob Marley. Can you put these in the safe, please? I'd like to keep my coffee mug collection in the vault. of the Hilton Garden Inn, please. I love it. You got a briefcase handcuff to your hand.

Please, I don't like the feel of metal out of my skin. Ocean's 11. One of them, but I don't think it was the 11th. Yes, it was. It was the original one. Okay. Dickhead. It's Carl Reiner.

Yeah. Rest in peace. Sure. also Rob Reiner R Ushertych in peace All right, and his wife too obviously

Is that Yeah, rest in peace Mm-hmm All right, this one's Made off with Bernie's Great name Nice $10 homie

Never have one read What age does it switch From he or she Is a good kid Who made a mistake To he or she's hemmed up How old are you I would say

I would say age plays a role into it Sure And the amount of times Law enforcement has to be involved Yeah Also I think like what Where they are at in school Like if you're still in college

Or if you like you just entered the workforce After like high school Good point Good point Because if you're in college It's like ah he's a good kid He's figuring out he's getting his head on his But if it's like

You know If you get a DUI at 23 And you're like you're in the electricians union or something. It's like it's a little more, it's a little more teeth. You're not in the, you're not in the,

you're not in the, uh, make believe land anymore. You're like, there's real world consequences to it rather than being like, ah, well, by the time I'm out of college, that DUI is going to be going.

It's like, I got to find a ride to work. Sure. You know what I mean? It's a little bit different. That's why. Um, that's a good one. Now,

that's really good. I would say, yeah, age for sure. because we're a big family. I think Philly does it as well as like New York does it too, but like, hey, he's a good kid. Like I said it the other day about my friend.

And they were like, they thought I was talking about my friend's kid. And they were like, what? I'm like, oh, no, I meant, you know, I meant a 40-year-old man. Yeah. But so we said, he's a good kid, but, you know, whatever. Is it a good kid? But at some point, I would say the length of, the length of the trials and tribulations as well.

You know what I mean? Like I had friends who were, yeah, he's a good kid, he's just, you know, he parties, he parties too much. I'm past all that. Even though I'm on a straight and narrow now, I'm past all that. Past all that. I'm bad seed. Yeah, you're jammed up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got me, one, you're 50. You can't be 50 in a good kid making a bad choice, you know. Sure. You're not running with the wrong crowd anymore, you know, and if you are the wrong crowd. Hang out with the d-birds. But yeah, then I had friends who have, like, been, like career lifelong addicts and it's like

yeah you're just you get like a year to like straighten out that tough time between like 20, 25 I would say like Yeah 25 50 25 50 50 50 55 60 Over 30 there's more consequences To it you know what I mean There's like everyone's bitching at you Whatever

Fuck him Fuck my mom's purse Yeah I guess the prox proximity to your parents is still a pretty good, if you're like, if you gotta go back to their house, not present company excluded, obviously. I'm visiting. You're there to steal her mug collection.

But that's a big thing, you know what I mean? Of like, you know, yeah, I think the second you don't have a home base, and this is not, I swear to this, I didn't put two and two together when we started talking about this. I swear to God. you know a place to hang your hat you need roots you know what I mean I got an apartment

a warm meal to come home down loving family just keep rubbing it then we're back yeah that's a great question though that yeah I would say age and duration of shenanigans I think is a good way to put it some people are our career shenanigan guys

Lifelong shenanigans Henry and his shenanigans The shenanigans Not a bad name for a band You're gonna come in with that tattooed on you Henry and the shenanigans In the shenanigans Um yeah

A great question though I would say my I come from a world That a group of people Where that rope is significantly longer Than I would say the rest of society Sure Like he's a good kid

He's just got you know Yeah 18, 19, 20, 21, you turn it around. Mid-20s, it starts hitting, like, you got to fucking, you got to fucking, you got to get it to. You got a problem. You got, at that point you have some problems that need to be addressed. He's going through a lot. I was called Patty sending that to somebody.

He's going through a lot. He's talking about who to a dog? No, talking about me. No shit. Somebody who owed me an apology. She's fucking, hey, he's going through a lot. A bunch of bullshit. Wait, someone owes you an apology?

Maybe. Probably not. No, but I caught her fucking not backing me up on something. What are you reading her text? Yeah, what the fuck you? You're holding it to her face while she's sleeping. You know what's crazy? I'm pretty sure my son's face can open my phone.

Whoa. Isn't that nuts? That's crazy. Because I've handed it to him locked and sometimes it's open. Me and my brother can do that. Yeah. Wow. Dork.

Oh, no way. Me and my brother could do that. Oh, you guys are bad kids, huh? Our dick's also good heart at the same time. You know that weird? Yeah, it's usually got your mouth on one of them. That's called a 69 guy. I mean my brother do that.

Yeah, Barry, do that. Fucking nerd alert. Jesus Christ. You ever kiss a girl? What the hell? Just my brother. This one. You guys do this thing

Kiss in your hand He'd be tucking it back Did you ever As a kid you ever Anybody that could do like that And where it looked like they were making I dude I never understood it

I didn't go to school with Jim Carrey My brother could do it really good It's the only way it could come I remember Someone's going Yeah look It was like an uncle or somebody I forget.

I remember being like, dude, I don't know what this bit is, but it's stinkerous. Okay. I can't guy just checked out for a minute. Hmm. Where were you dreaming of a mouthful of teeth? A loving family.

I just caught that one. You went back. Did I? Yeah, like a walrus. Set of chomper's on you. You better not bite anybody. Hey, you'd be identified in a fucking weekend. I got hippo teeth.

They're all flat. I saw a hippo fucking rip a alligator's head off. You run with a cool crowd. He doesn't have hands. No, I bit it. And ripped it. Like, literally the alligator bit inside of its mouth. The hippo chomped out and just ripped his bottom jaw.

Fucked up. Alligator was okay, though. Check it off Very funny stuff This one's good This is a great name Pavlov's hog Talk about your mouth watering

Long time homie What? You gotta be kidding I was reading what'd you say Long time homie I hear he's giggling out there Shut up That's got

Back to work I need it Guys find me a co-signer yet You got them all hammering away. It's just a bunch of cell phones. We can't fake this for you? That's what I'm asking you, dickhead? What is it?

You got to show on bank statements. Yeah. I'm not, I mean, the company's not showing you. The company can't show fake banks. It's fraud. You can do that if you want. Sure. Yeah, I'm not getting involved.

Fucking print them up. What do you? I'm not doing it. You can do it. I don't do that. I don't, I'm not getting, dude, you fucked up everything. You think I'm committing fraud with you at this point? You're,

I bleep that. You're nuts if you think I want to commit fucking fraud with it. I don't want you committing fraud. You just ask that. It's not fraud. Just don't talk about it on the telephone. Go home, make some calls. You would wrap me out immediately.

No, I wouldn't. Yes, you would. No, I wouldn't. I'd be able to throw it in your face 10 years later. You have to get out of prison. No, I get out. Hey what? Because I don't rat you out.

Then I come. It was all your idea. So? I'm helping you. I'm still coming for vengeance. It's different. Kate Fier's style. Gapie!

Cape God style. Chips. You're a big movie star? I don't know. Playing baseball. I don't need it. I'll fucking straighten. I figure it out.

Don't you worry. I'm not worried. You just start picking out a fucking housewarming present for me. About 45 grand. I'm kidding. It's super specific I need $44,362 I'm joking obviously

They're gonna kill me I should do a fake kidnapping Yeah do it I would love to see you try Leave notes I'm just right baby I know You probably have my house

Oh fuck See if you can fake your own death That's pretty good Yeah but how am I gonna get the apartment then What? I can put somebody else I can fucking live as Randy Johnson or something Yeah right

Like you can throw like Randy Johnson I got the heat I can maybe do a slider That's a good to fake your own death Does it be Randy Johnson? Why do you want to be Randy You got a thing for this guy the unit He throws heat

The big unit He throws heat He throws heat You want to be Aaron Nola No thanks Something to what some fuck you Do you have to be a pitcher? I think so.

Hey, why don't we try a guy who's not broke? I'm not faking my own dad. I'm not doing anything illegal. I'm done that. I'm done killing. On stage. Why don't you do a, a Lubowski thing?

Cut my toe off? Yeah. Hi. No, I'm not doing any of that shit. I'm going to get it the right way. Get off of here. I'm going to beg you for money. The gentleman's move.

I want to find something, hold it over your head, threatening to kill myself. Like a man Oh Yeah We got a rap We're such good friends Yeah

You're right We are Gang, I'm going to tell you Right now Don't listen to what you hear Out there Don't listen to what I tell you Because I'm lying

About some stuff Gang We love to We'll see you three days Peace