Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ian Fidance Returns!

Episode Date: June 3, 2021

Kippy and Foley are joined by old pal Ian Fidance! As always, It's a fun one with Ian. Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. (PS: The last two minutes of audio get a little wonky) Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage FUM: https://www.breathefum.com/garbage SHEATH: https://www.sheathunderwear.com Code: GARBAGE Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey gang real quick before we get the old show started let's talk about these live days we got coming up It's to keep it moving 2021 tour and we're coming to a town near you We're going to be in atlantic city, new jersey june 18. Oh, yeah, and then we're going to be in chicago For our fourth and final show on june 22nd Then we're heading over to indianapolis indiana at the helium over there on june 23rd get some tickets And then we're coming back Thursday night back to the windy city for two sold out shows So if you heard a date on there that wasn't sold out buy some tickets and come see us

It's going to be a great time. Yeah guys the live show is awesome It's stand up and then we play a yg with the audience we answer your questions. It's a good fucking time get involved See you there. Oh, baby. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals? Or absolute trash Now here are your hosts kevin ryan and h foley Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. Come on gang. This is are you garbage?

Bones in the shop Well, we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up to be classy or if they're just a big old Piece of trash. Oh, yeah I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day down here at an totes basement Saw her in passing. Yeah on her way down the shore got a short house with her girlfriends for the summer to weekend What are we talking about summer? So she's gone all summer. I asked her don't come back No, she's coming back and forth. Do you want to know why pick up the mail and stuff? No I asked her how are you paying for this?

And she was like only fans Oh, totes on only totie got an only fans. I'm telling you right now her and her girlfriends Pretty risque stuff I'm not gonna lie. It's very tasteful though So watch out for that. Those other who is Keeps it classy. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. We've got a little company in the building today He's the ceo of are you garbage international businessman checks are bouncing my best pal checks are bouncing all over the place

This guy has checks bouncing in multiple countries right now They cut up to wherever he goes. They cut up my card at the bogeyman earlier today Kevin james ryan everybody. Hey gang. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes A full video available on youtube and as you know, those numbers are True to roof true to fucking roof baby patreon.com. We're closing it on 1500 patrons Those numbers are fucking cooking having a good time over there on the old patreon When you sign up you get bonus episodes of a yg you get episodes of hard feelings, which is me and foley behind the curtains A little bit mixing it up

You know the show behind the show people are calling it the airing of grievances every week, which i like Uh, and then we do we do live streams every month with our top tier patrons. Also guys live shows coming up in lannix city Talk to me. We're doing one big show one big one restrictions change so we can do one big show There's limited tickets left to the fucking show. So get 30 30 tickets Get them ticky tickies now. Also, uh, Fourth and final show in chicago those tickets are moving not really Let's go chicago don't make liars out of it We've been running our mouth for the last three weeks. We got about 75 left on that show

We gotta fucking pack them in call it call it cousin do something t-bone calling the troops Uh, and india as well tickets are moving there. So get tickets to that Uh, and yeah, see you there good stuff. We love it's gonna be a good summer Fucking keep it moving toward 2021 and how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man He makes us all look good. We love them. You guys love them t-bone. McMuffin Toby McMullen. What's up dudes? How are you buddy? I'm doing good the fucking underdog narrative of this podcast started going away doing too Good and we're right back I know I get confident for a week. I push you too much the cards getting declined fucking shows are fucking canceling

Oh gang that is neither here nor dare. This is uh, we got a little company in the building today He's a fucking good friend of ours. You guys a second cousin twice removed this guy He's related to toty not me. You can't remove me You guys love him. We love him. He's back here with us to fucking hang out. He looks calm cool and collected You have a strange color. Yeah, you have a weird you have a son you fucking ghost You got a wheel with weird huge to you right now. It's called going outside. You killed the animal Also, did you get new teeth or something? No, I just can't yeah, I don't know those chompers are coming at you from a different threat They're looking good. Yeah, I did you get a whitened or something this time last year

The one sixth grade the one's beamen. I feel like he's looking at me That's gonna be so the bottom is a little jacked up the bottom's got to be covered You're gonna cover the bottom like a classic car. You should have a mustache on the bottom Start dipping or something It's a tough look. You're looking good though. You're looking you're looking fresh. You look fresh. You got really long Wow. Thank you. I feel like a dressed up trash can Well, I don't know you're good looking good for a trash can. I don't think you get too close to an elementary school I wrote 20 miles on the bike yesterday shirtless girthless feeling. All right, you know physically this guy in his bike mentally

It's a tornado Whenever somebody tells you how good they're doing physically, you know, they're going screw you're telling me You're telling me. I look good. Thank you. I got a nice hue to me. You know, I've been working out doing the prison yard Workout at the park, you know, having to get ready for vacation Having to wait to do pull-ups while a father and daughter do them. I'm just lurching around like can't get in Mind if I work through smoking in between the reps pull in? Yeah. Yeah, even finance ladies and gentlemen Hey, the only the fan favorite the fan favorite. Yes. Thank you. I love it always always a good time Always a good time not right now

You know that's so much right now. This is a fucking military. You fucking build me up and then knock me down No, we just said how good you look. Thank you. Mine was the bottom chompers I mean just wait till I take my shirt off. You two will be fucking coming in your gene. I already did. Yeah I'm ready for a cigarette and a good night's sleep. I'll take a cig right now. Let's do it Oh, yeah, you know what I was thinking about with you. What was your what was your sleepover situation as a kid? Were you allowed to sleep over or were you the sleepover house? Were you the sleepover house? In in high school. I was a sleepover house. I could have I couldn't imagine the finance residence We would like to help it was it was it's like Ramers apartment me and my friends at a video game night

We play the Merv Griffin show Wait, what do you mean? You did you did a lot of impersonations As in a like as adults when you were a kid didn't you like all right? We'll be right back I feel like you did a lot of that stuff now. We impersonates a straight man What are you talking about like you would do like bits like that? I would imagine No, I would impersonate my teachers and stuff in high school sleepers and everything We had video game night where we'd stay and tell me a couple of cool guys All right, we're all virgins now. I'm gonna do mr. Johnson everybody

We'd all we'd all play video games at someone else's house and my house was uh the one where we'd go in the neighborhood and play like doorbell ditch Is that what you call it doorbell ditch or doorbell Dixie? What was it? We call it knock it. We call it knock and run Knock and run ditch. Thank you. Yeah ding dong ditch. Yeah, or like the some bozos would call it knock knock zoom zoom Knock knock zoom zoom. Yeah, knock and run sounds like you're knocking people out Knock and run sounds like it sounds like a smashing grab job. They're hitting the jewelry store. Yeah knock and run Yeah, or is we call it b and a yeah, you hear they caught foley on a knock and run Yeah, he's upstate serving a nickel. Yeah

Oh, that's too funny. You could only do that. Ring and run was another one ding dong ditch That sounds it sounds like you're jerking off in a retaining pond Getting whacked off don't forget the galoshes That's always a tough look when you go to a neighborhood and you see that when they got those retaining ponds Where the high grasses and it's like We would swim in Yeah, that's Thailand to me Go swim and bring home some ringworm. Yeah, we get like a fucking we get out of the house. Yeah

We get like tubes and boogie boards and go in there and you just had to stay away from that big pipe that would suck you in You had to stay on the left side. That's like one of those hillbilly Surfing places that they have. Oh, we had water and holes where it's a train that goes by and creates the wave in like a lake Oh, yeah, yeah, get the fuck any. Oh, you know hillbilly's like kelly slater Yeah, that's yeah, I see what you're saying But like hillbillies don't have the hillbillies are the ones like on the back goes swinging each other hillbillies are the ones with the Retaining pond. What are you talking about? Apparently? I'm a hillbilly. Yeah But you could only play knock and run in shitty neighborhoods didn't work in like a nice neighborhood

Well, you're not playing them with row homes Not going to kensington doing like a knock and runs No, but you couldn't do it like a nice neighborhood when houses are like really far apart. Yeah, we did it You did you get some exercise sick the dogs on you dude. I did it one time. I was fucking we did we did it like Hit this guy's house and I'm running through his front yard and he was dark out and he had like a flower bed that I I fucking hit this thing and collapsed in half and he's like what the fuck are you doing? I'm like everybody left me. We were doing dude. I got the wind knocked out of me. I'm gasping for air in his

We were doing it at uh frat houses in at u-pen And uh, it was halloween and my buddy does it who was when me and my friends and my buddy In and yeah, yeah, and sick it. We're all drunk. We're all tuned up My buddy's you know causing trouble and he's running across the long couple of rabble security goes get the riddler Knock and run in college video game night in high school. Yeah, Jesus christ cool as hell Prom king, huh? This guy cleaning up. I like it I would in grade school though. I

There were a couple of friends We'd alternate houses for the weekend like I'd go to theirs or they go to mine or whatever But when I was younger, I I didn't really go to sleepovers that much you weren't allowed and like no, I was like fucked up You know like courts. No, I I couldn't stay out I you know, my dad died so I like couldn't stay out of kids houses I would like freak out and I'd have to go So I couldn't I wasn't I wasn't like I'll turn the microwave on me He lost it dude. They turn the lights out. I'm like where the everyone's gonna die

So I fucking you know just had to stay home for a while. Oh, you were that kid that had to get picked up and Yeah, I would have a child of trauma. I wasn't that kid. I was fucking panicking I've had that a couple times being that kid and being the kid that's always the one that's up after everybody else goes I go in the pantry. Someone says make yourself at home. You do it. They're like we didn't not that way He's taking a bath. Yeah, I'm taking a bath scooping their fluff But I really did fluffer noters. It was brutal being the one and this was always me I was always the first one to wake up. I'd wake up at six. I was up with the dad. Yeah sitting there having coffee Re-in-time magazine nine years old. Yeah, I remember one time my parents

We were at my friend's house and my parents they all went out to dinner We were being like the kids were all being babysat at that house and then they left And then I guess my parents decided like oh, just let Kevin stay at your house But this is like before cell phones and shit. So the parents like my I was at their friend's house. The friends came home and my parents went home So I'm like, what are they the pair? I'm like, where's my dad at? They're like, uh, he went home. You're gonna stay here I was like, no, I am not Get that fucking kid. Get that piece of shit on the horn, dude

Yeah, I think he traded me out for tonight. No, they wanted to go home and do weird shit. Yeah Didn't want your big head poking it Yeah, right a while peeking out of the closet. How do you get off me? Here comes lumpy Hey, you're the bald ones back God damn it. We left you three houses down. The bald ones looking at me. Would you pick the lock downstairs? Oh man, could you imagine little lean into the sleepover? Hey, there you go Man, my parents never you went You couldn't have sleepovers. No, of course we did but but there was no getting brought home

If you went to your friend's house and stuff over there till the a. Oh, yeah, it was you It was like signing up for the army Fucking seen from deer hunter I go a wall Stuck in a tiger cage Jobbers out to the lz below 600 You're playing rush roulette with a water gun It's just you and another kid

Oh, man, I just saw that clip the other day with chris. We're walking in the narrow Fucking so good. The guy was right home in the rain in a go-kart Two bodies over it Oh, we're having a good time buddy. Thank you for coming in. We love you. Love you. Thank you for having me We got some questions that we're gonna get to a little company in the house kind of the No, I can't say family episode contractually. Why? Because we switched it up companies when somebody's here family episodes It's just two of us

But I guess by you know being that he is related to dirty it is technically a family episode Yeah, I've been on this fucking episode this podcast more than mine He gets upset about it You know, I have attachment issues Can I sleep over my mom? He says I can sleep in here, right? I don't have all over it. I don't have to go home Have you ever been disinvited to like a like a family gathering or something like that? No, when I was drinking though, people were dodging me like you wouldn't believe. Yeah That was the first seven years of our friendship

Dodgeball with Ian's hanging. Yeah, we're not doing Christmas this year I can have it with all kids parents to find out where they are showing up here in them. Oh Christ You guys got drugs? I heard Aunt Loreed had died. Yeah, they're not doing a funeral. Not like that Yeah, no, no come around it's over zoom what you find out when you're older This kid's fucking piece of work, but we love him. He's family Yeah, you're here your family. That's right. All right. Let's get into it gang As you know when you sign up for patreon get a question asked on the air Yeah, kippurino. Yeah guys. So when you sign up for the old patreon

It's just the best way to do it because we get you know, so many dms emails comments and stuff like that This is just the best way to fucking streamline it and I gotta tell you there's some fucking heaters The kids are good kids are good. They're getting good. We got to have the funniest listener the funniest fans For sure. I'm putting that out there All right, this one's from blaine smith home run of a question. Have you ever seen slashing concert with a band other than guns and roses? What did I tell you I ever been to the dover fair 98 How good is that that's a fucking hole I've never had but I have seen The guns and roses without it was only axle

I think that was karaoke That was my uncle charlie when those 90s bands fell apart. They fell apart hard man. Yeah Well, I actually didn't see them. He didn't show up now that I remember I was supposed to see him the rest of the band wasn't there. Well, it was the the chinese it was good It was what is chinese democracy? Yeah, it was the guns and roses and the chinese democracy or whatever right that album It was bucket head And it's got it with a k. What'd you say that album took like 25 years to make and it's garbage I didn't ever even got to hear it. They never showed up a vh1 zippin

Hey behind the door lose it Poppin video Oh remember pop-up video. It was great. What an idea that was the rage. Yeah, shit was tight. That was the first napple facts Fun fact about uh bucket head He did the power rangers theme song. I think I knew that really It's so bizarre. Yeah, how about the green power ranger playing his knife like a flute through a helmet That was a meme this week. Are you dusting off me? Was it memes? Yeah His his trick was a flute, but he had a mask on so yeah play a flute technically

That's not a meme. I just didn't watch any of that crap. This is a meme y'all ever be like Hahaha It's a black twitter meme. Yeah That was clearly Ian testing out a piece of material something was up. What's the deal with this green ranger folks? The red ranger any other 90s kids, huh? The yellow ranger is chinese. The black ranger is black. What's going on? That was dead on that was crazy Toby has toby has the cue cards on That nice penmanship Um never I've never seen guns and roses

I saw molly hatchet at the pennsylvania state fair. How's she doing shit? How was the divorce? Who's molly hatchet? It was one of those like stats of 70s band. Maybe it was a one hit wonder You have a couple you fog had off. It was like yeah. It was like rat kind of you have weird You have weird concert history and stuff like that. Sure meatloaf You saw meatloaf first concert ever shout out to the loaf bad out of help tour you fucking old man in a kid's body I would do anything for love third grade. Yeah, you couldn't get into barium analogue. Yeah Yeah, I like that song in that video. What do you want from me? What what was the thing that he couldn't do for love that he wouldn't do

I would just heard the song and I couldn't figure I heard it this week and I couldn't figure it out But I won't do that from the looks of them tie his shoes Play off the play off the donuts I'll do anything with the chips. I'm not walking in the living room. I'll tell you that Uh, shout out to meatloaf. Love them. Shout out to the loaf. Love the loaf. Um, yeah, Marvin Lee a day is a real name You know, pop up video again. There it is. Fuck it. Yeah, pop up pop up video That's not how it went. Yeah, what was that's how it went pop up pop up video

I don't think so when you did your own show in the living room Toby pull it up. That's how it went pop up video. Yeah My computer's not even plugged in I can I can see Ian subjecting his mother to all different kinds of only child is top. Yeah Would you like get the cardboard and cut out the little tv hole and then go behind it? Mom turn the volume up. No, but when I was little I sometimes I would stay in a cardboard box and only a cheese and they called me splinter You ever play I don't know if that's a joke or not. You ever you ever be like a different turtle or ghostbuster for a week You know like only calm was in the parking lot of a pathmark

It was behind a genardies Genardies Holy shit Oh my god When you were little you were never like a ghostbuster or g i joe or whatever you you'd play that character for a while Yeah, but I didn't sit in the box and eat cheese like a sociopath. I don't remember that in the storyline Well, that's what a rat does He lives in the sewer karate is sleeping a box like a rat, you know

What box what box? No, it's the entire during this rat phase by the way, you know wearing a kimono He's got his mom's bathrobe. Are you wearing a robe? growing your nails out Oh my god, dude, I can see Ian running around the house with a towel as a cape a lot Yeah, I cut holes in my mom's scars wearing them is you know been like uh The thing that the turtles wore well, did you on the the big thing about that was the box of ellios You could cut out the box of the back of the box of an ellios Oh, and it had there it had the yeah, I remember going to fucking

I remember rocking those till you get pepperoni in your eye A piece of frozen cheese stuck in there and up in the ER it's for the night Yeah That cheese was loose on there too. I don't know what they used to hold it down It wasn't gorilla glue. I could those things were hard as hell. You'd break leonardo's sword on it I'm trying to cut it up before you heated it up God I never tried to make captain america shield out like a trash can

Oh, yeah, it was always dirty. There was like dried soda on it. Yeah, fucking bees are circling you Captain marin stinks Captain america was killed by anaphylactic shock today Anaphylactic shock What do you want allergic? I didn't get it at first either But I get it now. He's allergic to peanuts. Yeah, anybody got an epi pen? Yeah, bring that joke back to life Fucking

I thought it was a bad joke seizuring on the ground someone fucking somebody hit him with some narcan The joke was it stung by bees you look like you were Gang let's talk about sheath underwear Because we love them you love them. I got them on right now, baby I got them on right now. I got the long johns that come down to the knees. Everybody loves sheath gang Absolutely fantastic products keeps your twigging your berries separated if you want to otherwise It's just a fantastic pair underwear. Yeah, they have the dual pouch. I mean we've been pushing it for fucking months They've been a supporter of us. They listen to the podcast shout out to robert the owner rob

He's uh, he he's a veteran He came up with this when he was when he was over there in the desert Fucking, you know protecting protecting our freedoms trying to keep his clams off his shell Yeah, we're trying to keep the twigging a berry separator. He came up with this dual pouch system There's a pouch for your ball bag a pouch for your little pp And my favorite thing is I call them my sexy undies you put them on it looks like you're packing It props it props it up a little bit It does I can't imagine if you are packing what it makes you really look like weekend at bernie's down there

I know dude. I'm doing everything. I'm going. I'm checking a mail on these things. I'm like strings. I'm accepting packages I'm just waiting around lounging in these bad boys They're the super cut. They're the most comfortable pair of underwear I've ever had guys. Check them out go to sheath underwear dot com Use promo code garbage. We'll save 20 off your order one more time guys sheath underwear dot com promo code garbage old Fucking traditional underwear for bozos get out of here step your fucking game up. It's 2021 There's the fucking world's crumbling at least fucking go out and be comfortable and style. You know what I mean That didn't see positive whatever sheath underwear dot com promo code garbage gang real quick

Let's talk about our good friends over there at fume our best friends, baby. I got it right here in my hand It's a natural inhaler that lets you get the benefits of super plants Right here and this canadian made wooden inhaler No electronics. Nope core is filled only with super plants. Yeah, no chemicals at it What did they say to the chemicals take a hike you beat it kick rocks hit bricks you hoser That's what they say all natural helps you with allergy relief Relaxation and is a great nicotine alternative that fits right in your pocket. Yeah guys Uh, you simply slide your favorite core right into the fume stick

Whatever your little inhaler whatever you want to call it and you breathe in the benefits of mother nature It's that simple check out the variety of blends and their benefits at breathe fume dot com and use promo code garbage for 10% off your order today Um, they've been sending us fucking they're sending packages upon packages this year. We can't get enough of it The allergy stuff that they just sent out for the spring is fucking home run, baby Allergies this year the pollen count is true to roof true to fucking roof and these guys are helping you out with it So take a shot at it. They have reassurance They've just lavender lemon cinnamon for calming stress Anti-inflammatory benefits. They have bubbly lime my favorite lime lemon spearmint for energy and mood boosting love it

They got it all baby. Check out all the flavors and all the all the benefits you can get at the website So head to breathe fume dot com That's breathe breathe f um dot com and use promo code garbage and the link will be in the description You'll save 10 percent and breathe in the benefits of the world's super plants today now back to the show Also guys on the patreon check out the fucking we're doing we're doing the weight loss challenge And I gotta tell you there has been a fucking barn burner of an update that just came out. Yep What was it? I'm down two pounds. It's not good Would you have to your pockets?

There's a bunch of candy bars in there Ian what if I told you that during a weight loss challenge Hank Foley, no, hold on. Hold on. Don't don't don't say the number. Wait. I gotta hear it. All right. I will Say we just started a weight loss challenge, which we did first weekend fully. You had to do a couple re-dos This was an extriniating circumstance. Yeah, do you think that's extriniating is your bucket bell buckle? He doesn't wear bell buckle. They dig into his gut too. Oh, yeah, I'm done with belts I've worn my last belt. I'll tell you that The one that goes around his neck

That'll be the last And his arm you get too much of that patreon money How many hot dogs do you think he ordered at the hot dog place? What the door he went to a hot dog place. Wait, no, no, no. Listen. I had to go to my aunt's funeral. Okay. The There's a special hot dog place in wilkesbury called abes hot dogs that we've been going to since we were kids Oh, so you went to eat hot dogs in remembrance of your aunt? Hey, she would have wanted me to She loved pork

What we do is we grab hot dogs and we take them to go and we bring them home Put them in the fridge or whatever and you know have abes hot dogs put the hot dogs in the fridge Yeah, stop because they didn't make it to the fridge. Let's just of course they didn't make it out the door How many how many do you think he ordered? 12 that's exactly what he ordered This gentleman in the midst the first week of a weight loss challenge buys 12 hot dogs first And then he claims that they only sell them in six and 12 Toby sneaks around calls the guy why why we're all on air and he goes

He goes hell He's like, do you only sell your hot dogs in six or 12 the guy goes for your 4 1 1 fight in the number to get the inside Scoop the guy goes no, you can buy however many you want you can but most people get Most people who you in a mirror who you talking about? I would eat he goes he goes he goes no that that's how they come like like those are the only options are six or 12 What the fuck you eat multiple. There's so we got two sixes. He's trying to watch his figure Yeah, still down two pounds though. Wow. Check it out. We're having a good time. Oh, man Jesus christ. Are you in competition with him? No, so he's gotta he's got to lose 28

But then we just moved the gold post to 25 by when 2028 I got nine years, uh And me and toby are doing one straight up whoever loses the most out of us And then we also have side bets like how many times he's going to go to fast food Yeah, which wait by way over under already got crushed by when but by he has a month june 22nd june 22nd Got vegas involved odds lines going out. It's a good fuck. It's a yeah, your diet's gonna be odd Pizza and laxatives All right, let's get back to it. This one's from michael. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you do

Thank you, Ian. I hope you you know, are you doing cardio or anything? Yeah, of course What? He's playing mini golf once a week. I know we were supposed to go today. Yeah, we couldn't holiday Holiday, we're here. Okay well What'd you say is everything out of you Everything's a lie. You know, he's like, yeah, you know the holiday I was supposed to we were supposed to be gone

But we had a reschedule Yeah, so I had to cancel golf because I wasn't gonna be here and then luckily don't call golf Chippin putt pitch and putt pitch and putt door-dash Smashing the windows What'd you call it smash it run knock and run knock and knock and run. Yeah, Jesus Christ Do you know anything about the knock and run on third avenue? Don't lie to me Foley I swear

I was home all night. I'm a changed man. I haven't done a knock and run in years Um, all right, this one's for michael and you I mean this is Ever take a selfie smoking? Yes, it's the only selfie he knows how to take so trash. Why is it trash? Why is it garbage because it's usually in like a moment of false confidence Usually the guy that you think you look way cooler than you actually the guy that posts the picture of him smoking Does the selfie with him smoking? He's usually standing next to a car. He does not own Yeah, do you ever take a picture in front of a car? You don't own? Yes

Of course. Was it like a corolla or something? Well, the ectomo be able to car show. Okay. You went to a car car shows You never been to a car show? I have because we had free passes and when I got there. I was like, I don't like any of this No, are you one is the day of the batmobile they the ecto one I'm not going. I'm not going to car shows as an adult. Yeah checking out like the Camry's or whatever. Yeah Oh, is this the Avalon has the wreck and pinion steering thing leather seats tell me more Have any of you ever posted a black and white selfie? I'm sure. Oh, yeah, I get real artistic. Yeah Also as a bigger guy, it slims you down a bit. It does hit me does it? Yeah

Drop that exposure down contrast fucking here. Does the shadow with eyeballs? We uh I I had a buddy who like took a really bad self. It was just like very Still this was like over 10 years ago when selfies were like, you know, and he'd like thought like oh, I look cool I'm going out and it was just like he was just like this kind of like still face. Oh, okay And he posted around through the lens. Yeah, and he exactly and he posted it on facebook And then we got a hold of it and we're like, hey, you look at you look real cool. You're real relaxed here, right? Yeah, so we all made it to backgrounds on our phones while we were out at the bar and he lost it, right? So then we end up like when I would call you it would come up like he was getting so fucking mad

So finally we made a huge banner of it and put it out front of the fucking shore house that like we all had He showed up dude, and it was a fucking scene. How mad he wasn't that's great. You made a banner My buddy spent like 350 to make a banner incredible. Yeah, it was fucking awesome. Yeah selfies are trash Selfies are trash in general. I'm glad selfie sticks came and went They were hot for like 18 months. Yeah, they're still hot on only fans. How do you get those butt shots? You want you do only fans you part to you you buy no, no, I had told you but you know something about it I mean, how do you just describe the camera angles on it? Have you ever seen a Chick take pictures of her ass and stuff they use it. How do you think they get those angles? True

You know, you can't just put it somewhere and hit the timer and then pose like that Yeah, you'd be there all night. I know but like I said before I'm giving up pornography masturbation everything And I'm not going into anyone's only disgusting cinematography. Yeah of pov. Well, why do you think I gotta give it up? I know too much You know the gaffers It's just not good. I you know, I wasn't doing it a ton, but I'm trying to eliminate all that stuff Just focus on myself focus on You know the task at hand. I don't want to date. I don't want to have a task at hand three packs a day task in my hand Task at hand sounds like it's a mounting fertilizer somewhere

No, it's you know, you're going on a diet. I'm going on a diet from pussy. I'm not going to be a part of it Well, I don't think you want to we just said he ordered 12 hot dogs. I don't think he's on it. Yeah, I know I'm gonna fucking eat 12 pussies I'm gonna watch 12 foreigners at the same time Everything I do is my aunt's funeral You ever do that? You ever try to give up jerking off or anything? I can only last a couple of days and then it's like, what are we doing here? Yeah, no You never did that competition as a kid. Is that garbage who can come quicker? No, who can what?

Start your boners Uh, no, I you know, it was usually around lint you give it up for lint And so you can last the longest then that kid comes in the next day. He's like, I'm out You never did that Who gives up jerking off for lint? Kids with Catholic guilt No, me and my buddies in fourth grade never got together and said, hey, give up I gave a fucking kid cats or something like that. Yeah. No, you should not

Of course I didn't. Hey mom giving up broccoli this lint. I never made it through one lint fucking Given something up. Yeah, never a couple of days No matter what it was You never gave up candy or nothing? No, no, never made it. No, I have zero self-control Zero I refer you back to the 12 hot dogs Correction chili dogs. Oh god. Do you fridge them up or eat them all at once? Six I had to remember the lie that you said yesterday and make it in line with that Be an interesting game

I think I think six got put in the fridge. Uh, I heed you call your belly a fridge Put them in the cooler The warming I'm gonna put these on ice. Yeah, I'll be back Um, no six went into the fridge I took two I took four out Yesterday the day before and had them and then I finished off the other two cold. I think The day before yesterday. God, this sounds like qualifying at a day in meeting

That is rough. Yeah, but you put it past you and you're moving forward. That's right a hundred percent Which I know is around here somewhere going through his phone can somebody else die That was my keys at books barrier Oh Man, all right. Okay. All right, everybody settle get folks get back to it. This is from tits McGillicuddy. All right, let's get serious Everybody quit playing around Ever participate in a weekly competitive horseshoes league Or any league I'll open that up to darts in an adult kickball league

In new york in new york zog sports. Yeah, that's a little different. That's not right. I got in trouble for us This is going to be trashy take it out Take it out an indian kid in jeans at second base Well, would you slide? Yeah Ian had a bowling ball. First of all, he deserves who plays fucking kickball. That's what I said. You had it coming, buddy Yeah, you know, it was a game jeans. Yeah Yeah, that's why you take them out rushing pants hook sliding into second base break up the double play looks like ben stiller right Going to cleats first like ty cob

That's lame charlie hustle, baby. It's not it's not cool. It's not trash for a minute. Yes, it is It's not for a minute. You know that what what about joining a softball league? You think that's trashy. Yeah, I do A little bit your dad recreational sports. Yeah, right? My dad did zog sports is fine That's like a that's a thing that young people do in the city. That's there's no trash to that It's not the coolest thing in the world. My dad did it back in the 80s when it was cool and it was a serious league It was serious. Yeah, my dad was in an over 30s fast pitch baseball league Kickball got hot for a minute, but it was I thought it was always lame Everyone he was doing it was joining the kickball league

Or dodgeball adult dodgeball. You must have hated dodgeball fully The world's easiest target You're not you get knocked and then when you come somebody catches a ball you come back in you immediately get knocked out again Get me in the parking lot Come on Um Yeah, yeah, I had a buddy in a dart league, which is a tough That's trashy. This is like before like right before covid like he was an adult. He's like a

We're about a pool league. There is nothing trashier. It's trashy too than cornhole That's on espn now. It's cornhole before a sporting event. It's not a good time that ladder ball nutball. Whatever you want to call it ladder balls the Uh It's like the rack where there's like one two three and they stand high like this And then you throw the two it's like two golf balls on a string and you throw and try to wrap it around the pole Nobody. I know. Yeah. It's called ladder ball or nutball. Have you guys ever been ax throwing? I don't get that. That's dumb. Yeah, I went ax throwing

I I want a bunch of money betting on ax throwing at a bar. It was so fun ax throwing in a bar No, no, it was on like espn four or whatever. Oh, wait. You were sitting there laying bets on it. Yeah, fuck. Yeah That sounds like a good time to me though. Sorry. You're just calling them blind. Yeah, you're fly. Yeah, I like that You're flying blind. It's just got a blonde mullet. Let's fucking go. Yeah, that makes the wind that much sweeter Yeah, one thing I know is that place makes good chicken fingers wherever that bar is Where where he watched we was watching the thing. Okay Jesus Christ. I didn't know what you were talking about the bar that he was talking about Holy fucking food radar is going off. Yeah

Somebody say hot dogs. Holy superpowers. You can name a type of bar and I'll tell you what food they specialize in. Go ahead uh I don't know a busted JD McGillicuddy's iris food shepherd's pie My Samplers. That's you just name a cheese dang egg rolls. You name in your breakfast Big city tap jokes on you that don't serve food

Loser They sometimes do a brunch before eight But that's it Jerry did a strip club. No, I have cotton and I ate it one way to business meeting at risqué They wanted us to come by during the day. We went we had lunch Were they dancing? I remember that show you guys try to do that show up there Yeah, a couple of you thought you were real we had just met and you thought you were real cool Was that a paugh goodman venture?

Shit that dentist. Yeah That's funny We did one show he hit me and no one showed up a couple people did for a different I just remember he was like, yeah, we had like we did something we had just started hanging out And he said keep on driving me over to the why don't you drive me over to the club risqué? We got a show going on and we're gonna show like, you know, he's gonna bring me

He's gonna big dick and be like, yeah, you know, let me show you the ropes This is how we do and we get there and they got gripped up by the bouncer Yeah, we got there. They're like, hey, we got two tickets sold. I'm like, all right. I gotta go Fuck they're hanging out with these bozos smoking inside. Yeah at the upstairs of a strip club Trash tough. Look what food you eat at the strip club. Can't remember what I had I believe there was some macaroni and cheese. Maybe some crab salad. Oh Yeah, maybe a Caesar salad. You can't have crab salad in a strip club club Well macaroni and cheese

All right, let's see here, uh, this is from will does anyone in your family call a shopping cart a buggy Ew, that's a bad look I think that might be a new york thing maybe a buggy Do you know that t-bone? What's now thing? Maybe I've heard it before It sounds like an old lady would say sounds british sounds amish Yo, I think they do call them buggies in in the uk. Yeah, maybe that's it. He might be how he might be. Yeah. Okay. What's his name? It was will Ryan from the uk It was london jim

Since he was Nigel thurrington Sir reginald tits McGee Um, all right, this one's from josh has you or anyone in your family ever rode a dirt bike a four-wheeler a lawnmower to a gas station? They were taking any vehicle that wasn't a street legal friends have friends of mine have I haven't yeah Big man might have ridden a lawnmower Back in the back in the 80s back in the day and mountaintop to get some gas the local, uh, philip station My dad had a nice one. He had one of those fucking sears jones Wasn't a john deere, but it had the fat tires in the back the too little in the front the fucking those things

We had an old school Big metal john deere from like it had to be like 78 those things were better than go-karts Oh, dude, this thing was the element of death was so right. It wasn't a piece of plastic on this fucking thing no metal steel and Popping that hood open why it's going the smell of gas when I was like 14 or 15 and those summer days I didn't have a license and I was just stuck at my fucking house by myself And I needed to try to pick something I would so many times I thought about just taking that thing to fucking wawa to get me a pack of sick

So I never did it, but in my head. I'm like I could be there in 20 minutes parking the handicapped spot Jump out turn it right on red I got fucked up by one of those when I was a kid my dad was cutting the grass and uh Those things got hot as shit those mufflers and I fucking grabbed the little circle muffler. Yeah I was running around. I almost fell into the blade. I grabbed the muffler Fucking stung my hand. Jesus fucking campofonique time at the foley house Camp campofonique. You ever use campofonique when you were a kid? Is that English? I've never heard any of those sounds together at the same time campofonique

Spell it. It's a disinfectant product for your skin. Whatever they're called. How do you spell it? Can't uh c a p c a m p camp campofonique campofonique Yeah, you're so old. Oh, there it is campofonique liquid. You said nine different words They also do cold sore treatments. You're speaking and coming Campofonique. Yeah, you never heard of that when you were a kid. You didn't have that. It's all about cold sores Do an image. That was that was the go-to when I was a kid No, you never seen that brain before no, oh that and iodine sounds like going in the 80s That's how we did it fucking north korean

Campofonique picture that looks like it's like day quill or something. Yeah, I don't know what you were and it's all says for cold sores I don't know what you you guys are doing over there It ain't something ain't all so it's not above board though. I know that sounds like you grabbed an uncle's muffler Sounds like something went in your muffler. Yeah, my dad just gave me herpes That's a bad burn. You got that from the tractor, right? Yeah, tell your mom you got it from the tractor. We're mowing the lawn, right? Have any of you use a lawn mower without them without a motor? Oh, one of those pushjohns. Oh, no No

The trashiest is when you if you got a plug-in if you got a plug-in motor you got a someone asked someone tweeted that You got a weak patch of land someone tweeted also too. Have you ever used your weed wacker to take the whole to cut the whole grass? I've definitely gone further than I should have Yeah, but that's a talent if you do that for the whole the whole lawn. No, I mean it means to make it look good You could really tough to make it after a certain size of the yard. It wouldn't look good No, remember trying to re spool those things that that was like fucking trying to launch something into orbit That re-spawn that is like Christmas lights for your lawn mowers. You feel like you're leaning on the ronko commercial I didn't know yet. You're like wrapped up in the blinds. Yeah, that's fucking suck

That was my favorite landscaping though having a fucking professional one of those things I love doing it upside down I would like it now probably I would love to just mow along on a sunday do lawn care, you know outside It's meditative. You know what I mean playing. Yep. I remember I had to do it I had to do it every week for fucking think whatever Ian was on wore off I had to do it every week once a week or sometimes twice a week Uh, I had to come mow my grass my whole childhood and I would get fucking As my tacks every single time because I was I'm allergic to go like allergic to the grass

Dude, it's like midway through the backyard. I think My mom would be like get back out there and finish the grid. I'm like laying in the backyard fucking Weasel and shit. Stop faking it cut the grass I can see you as a little faker, you know, a little fat kid. Oh, yeah, and gym class a lot of her I hurt my ankle. I'm a fucking I'm gonna sit this one out. Are you guys are running the mile today? My asthma's acting I forgot my gym clothes You were already wearing shorts. Sometimes you had to use the lost and found they were on there That gab pair shorts had a lost and found dirty the ones with the shit in them already

Right of that mile. That was a tough look for a little fact And I dreaded that day from fucking the first day of school till whenever that was I'd rather have finals every day Gotta get out there on the track I got a fucking math test after this buddy. What are you doing? Walking out of school in your gym clothes to like go outside always felt so wrong. Yeah, you see cars driving Fucking half naked out here Fucking chewing berries are almost hanging in half all these in short shorts wearing knee-high socks Like a more like a snack for a molester than he is a kid in school

Put me out here is bait. Yeah, you're a bait car We use him as tribute so they don't go after the other kids Put the fat one down by the perimeter. It's like the village. Yeah Oh man, that's fucking good stuff. All right. All right, everybody. It's focus everybody focus here Um, all right, this one's from the facebook group. Let's mix it up a bit Uh, show them some love this one's from Raymond ever use a public park grill and I don't know how I fall on this Oh, yeah, yeah, we've asked this. It's fucking garbage. I've done it and it's Not what are you supposed to bring your own? No, it's every reason

You shouldn't be cooking out in public. You should be in your backyard like a fucking gentleman You know, you never had big uh big parties in the park. That's unforgivable to me. No What else would you have a six per day if it was you and two or three people if you're under a pavilion in a park You are a fucking great a piece of trash. We're trying to fucking up Try to read a book on a blanket over here. You're gated community ryan over here No, if you're hanging balloons in a pavilion in a public park that's some streamers. I've done it. Yes, of course It's trashy. No, it's not. Yes. It is a good old time. No, it's garbage No, it's you don't know what that person did to that grill before if a bear took a dump on it

You got listen granted. I'll say I've had a couple of burgers on from those things That would blow your hair back when you get it hot and get it cooking You got somebody knows what they're doing. They could put out a decent product Yeah, but you put tin foil down you're not just hitting a raw dog on the grill someone else used Yeah, also that heat You've never cooked on on what's the point of cooking on the grill if you're putting tin foil down I might as well cook boil it in the oven You boil stuff in the oven sometimes

Left over hot dogs That's the thing in his house Get a little water back into the stale buns. Um, I've done it It's all right. I did it down on the water and brooklyn heights very nice You know what I mean? Sun's going down having a fucking pop, you know, a couple of burgers some dogs or whatever It's in new york. You kind of have to of there. Sure. You know what I mean? You're not plugging your own grill on Yeah, we're gonna keep it in I got a barbecue. Yeah, what are you doing?

Hey big man, help me out with the back of this. I had to start it up Yeah, what are you talking about in new york? You got it. Yeah. Yeah, or are you going to a state park or something? You know with family You go down you all bring it something up. Why doesn't you just do that in someone's backyard? Well, because you don't get along with everything you gotta put all your shit and cool And also you got a jungle gym for the kids to go on you got a track you can walk on you're playing You know ultimate frisbee over here. You're fucking fishing over there There's nothing worse than going into a cooler expecting a fucking ice cold can of sprite and you fucking lock eyes onto some raw hamburger meat

At around cooler fully gotten to meet again. Yeah, I hate that shit. It's in like a box. It's all falling apart sliding Yeah, no thanks Yeah, we were we weren't public picnic people. We were not no were you community pool people? for a little while We were swim club people. I belong to the rich bro swim club It's literally called rich burrow Yeah, I bet that I know the demographic of that pool Yeah, I belong to a swim club

Yeah, because we didn't have a pool until my dad got a pool later Yeah, oh you had your own pool Yeah, when I was probably like 11 or 12 or something. Did you have parties there? Had some parties there lightly attended No, I remember we put in a horseshoe pit for like a july 4th party. I'm only gonna buy you cool son I remember we put in a horseshoe pit for a party like a july 4th or a labor party dude and I Literally thought it was like people were coming over and like take a look at the horseshoe pit

Late to say in this morning. It's right. I had a rake. I was grooving it and shit Wait, it was like the fucking two by fours that go around it more by fours around We did a heavy bike dude. I'm talking sturdy fucking like a fence with wilson But that only lasts like one season and it's like turns to dirt the weeds are growing They don't age well. We got a really using the weed wacker. It's tearing up the wood. You're like, oh, yeah You're gonna get some roundup on that quit the dog shit Oh god, it looks more like a litter box and a fucking horseshoe pit becomes a burial ground for a squirrel That you got attached to or something like that

Ended up throwing rusty in there. Oh shout out to rusty. He went he went to the farm We had your dog. We had a rusty in patches. Yeah Oh, wow We had a community pool at the townhouse that we that we lived that town line. It was fucking popping in the summer It was great. I had everybody hang out a big sandlot vibe Oh, yeah, big time fucking ice cream truck pulling an hand bone right here Ice cream truck pull up right down the fucking driveway. Yeah, you're coming from a mile. Do you guys still use the highway? Do you guys still use ice cream trucks as an adult?

Uh, I will not in my name, but if I'm out if I'm like out for like down in Washington Square Park hanging out or whatever and I'm in the mood. I'll dabble for sure. Yeah 100% totally the best. I did one the other ones the ones that checking out the talent Yeah, let's go open it out. Dip it in chocolate thinking about being a driver I'll do I'll do the ice cream ones where they make where they have the ice cream And I'll also do the ones where they have the package shit. I like it all like them both Package it. What are you talking about like the fucking in the firecracker pop the baseball glove Yeah, we were kidding the birds sponge Bob with the gum as I yeah, we didn't get the fucking

The soft serve guy. We got the fucking bozo and the jack and jill conversion van. Yeah with the candy cigarettes Yes, that would fucking be packed out with fucking dry. Yeah, but in new york, they have the mr. Softy that goes around Do you think I don't know mr. Softy One thing from an ice cream truck, what are you doing? vanilla dipped in chocolate Twist sprinkles good night Maybe a cherry dip if I'm in the mood down in Delaware the beaches core brothers. I mean, oh my god vanilla and sherbet

That was the first time I found out that you found god. Yeah. Well, I didn't know that existed Yeah, dip and I would say we're like, hey, I'll go down right now just for one And he got thrashers fries. Holy shit. I thought they were artisans that did that fucking how to do that dip Thought they were artists. Dude. I remember I looked they were like you want to dip in chocolate for I looked at my back And my dad I'm like, can we he's like you can I was like, I'll do it You dip my head in there I go sprinks all day sprinkles. I don't do sprinks sprinks dipped in chocolate. That's the way to go You ever try that? Is that possible? It's gonna ruin the chocolate. I see it on my schedule

I penciled it in for this afternoon. Well, I feel like you would dip your hand in there like the wax hand at the renaissance fair Oh, yeah, do you ever have a wax? Do you ever do a wax hand? Yep, I turn mine into a candle. Ew. I did the heavy metal sign in one I did just this straight up and then I think the next year I might have done the middle finger real Real tough guy had my ears waxed a week ago. Does that count? Did you? Yeah Got him ripped out. Why because I'm getting little fucking hairs getting away your headphones. Yeah, I look like a bagota You waxed your ears I had my ears wax at the place when I went and got my my pedicure

You didn't get a pedicure last week. You're we looked at your toenails yesterday. They are way too long the last time that I was there But I say last week. Oh, sorry. I meant last time I was there which by the looks of your Looks like sit next to fact checkers by the looks of your toenails. It was four months ago Those things are fucking tough looking pre-pandemic. Toby looked out of yesterday. He goes dude. If you're gonna wear flip-flops You gotta get you gotta cut your toes. Oh god. It looks like you climb up the side of the building Oh my god sharp, too. We got a point to a fucking town. I'll fucking cut you Yeah, I know you're fucking land on somebody's arm with a glove. Take your purse. Fucking come on. Give it up All right, let's run through a couple of more. He got a couple of more minutes. This is from mcfuck tard ever emptied

ever emptied Sig butts to roll a new sig I feel like you've done. Wait, what ever emptied out sig butts I guess into like he's definitely done this and then Made your own sig. You've definitely done this. I'm emptied out sig butts. Get in it. Get you smoke a cigarette Down to the butt. Yeah and go into the ashtray and you take out you shake out the tobacco into a paper and then roll a fresh No, I've never really never. No, you've smoked in wet cigarettes before. What's wet? Drugs? Did this guy just fall off a cliff or something? He did. What the fuck smoking wet cigarettes? What are you talking about? No, the cigarettes that have gotten

Cigarettes that have gotten wet You can't smoke it because it's wet. You dry it off without throwing them in a microwave like a gentleman You've thrown cigarettes in the microwave. Yeah, holy shit. I haven't done that. That wet taste sticks with you. That's And that burns a different way too that gets on you. You could tell when somebody's smoking soggy's. I'm fucking classy When you take the we take the butts and put them in a rolling paper. It's called an Alabama spliff by the way Oh, man, the the life Toby lived before this. I would not want to see This guy this guy's seen some dark days. They're roadie for Mumford and Sonson In the early years I get a special spoon for my beans

Um, have you ever picked up a sig? Uh, okay. This is a two-parter one. Have you ever like gone into like a while while left the sig bought Whatever they come out and got in the sig retrieved the sig You like leave it on the ledge. Oh my god, you'll do that now totally Yeah, if they got that kind of guy if they got a sandwich board in front of the shop There's a little sig holder you put in the top crease. I bet you probably say to somebody. Hey, watch out for me How you doing brother good to see I've done that but I've never heated up a cigarette in a microwave before you fucking heathen I was a child

Yeah Was a cutie like this Bernie's war You guys smoking my room temperature trash Heated up for me Would you put it in there where the blank cds see what happened? Did well you have you ever picked up a sig that someone else's left? No have no no Okay, I didn't I mean I would have picked have you No, I had friends that did it have you Ian ever picked up a cigarette

But off the street that you didn't know who's it was and smoke it never I just asked him that that's the same thing He asked a friend No, what I thought this was a friend on first here. What's happening? I thought your question was somebody you know, I was saying stranger No, I find like one that's out You know, it's hot though being with the chick that smokes and she likes to cigarette in her mouth and then gives it to you Yeah, man, this guy's fucking wires are crossed That's hot. Yeah

Why I don't know it's fucking old school because it stimulates the she lights or that you like that she lights being like Then giving it to you that's only after like a shootout or something Yeah, that's after a bank job you get back to the safe house He can't be just doing that normal Yeah, never like two sigs and give one to somebody at the same time. Yeah, you ever just smoke two sigs like a double barrel shotgun Long ride home. You're falling asleep at the wheel. You need some fucking juice. Oh, man. Uh, you've never done that coming back from a gig at 7 a.m See here we go. Yeah, what gigs end at 7 a.m.

Yeah, no, you've never done a college driven home at the end of the night Never done a call never like an oniata or some shit. Nope. Nope. No, you've never done a one nighter driven through the middle of the night Nope. Yeah, we have never driven before I don't even smoke cigarettes. What are you talking about mr. Finance? Excuse me a little taste of your own medicine We might have touched on this before this is from Sean D is reading material in the bathroom trash or not I say yes No, you ever have a you ever have a magazine holder next to the toilet? No, we didn't grow up like that. No, uh-uh I just feel everybody else's poop is on it. We didn't grow up like that. However, some of my more. It's just no one in your house could read

Um, there was coloring books, which is weird. Uh, everything was brown. No Nothing on it. Come on I'm telling you we lost it in a while ago Don't look to that side I'm here. Yeah, physically Emotionally, he's a vapid empty hole. Oh, yeah, do us a favor go check off at the bathroom come back Yeah, somebody get some porn for this guy It's gonna be a rough couple weeks

Yeah, I don't like this. I don't like this plan at all. Um Some of my dark days ahead His brain's all gunked up with jizz I'm pretty the fool that has to deal with that after 90 days. Is that what you're doing 90 days? I'm trying to yeah, you haven't even made it 47 minutes It's gonna be like ghostbusters too when they cover the Statue of Liberty Ian's doing 90 day virgin Hey, we have our next contestant Ian do it with me like the weight loss challenge

He hasn't had sex in three years He's already been doing it Yeah, I mean, what are we talking about here? It's just a mid 90s. What do you mean? Oh, I forget what I was after checking out your fat piece of shit They'll be right down the time of that I want that just cut out just that line right there Where that's a pro I want that as a gift or whatever Fucking Ian Balboa Coming back

Toby's my mickey I can't see it if I love die Copy tobe I had a point and I can't remember what it was. Yeah, right Now he's coming for blood there was no comedy. Yeah, right You're also a loser. Oh my god. Is that hat signed? Yeah by who I got it when I was eight I don't know who it signed by but my name's on it too. Oh god, that looks pretty good for getting it at eight, right? Yeah, what are you fucking when you see a head just a fucking head shrinker Holy shit shrink that fucking joke down Jesus christ

Once you get a referral and go to a doctor and then have to go to another doctor and then finally after you were approved by Your insurance and you met you deductible. Did you go and see a head shrinker? I At the end of the beetle All right, I took us long to get here. Typically. It's right from the fucking jump street. I tell you what we're doing I played gentlemen a lot longer than I wanted. Yeah, there were a couple of moments and I was like, this feels a little stale I don't know what's going on. Now the fucking guns some shots across the bow. Yeah Now the guns are out. I can guns are blazing right now

Fucking let's draw a motherfucker. Look at Ian sit Plotting and scheming. Huh? He wish you had a head shrinker fat head Dude Ian was just comatose three fucking 90 seconds ago. Now he's itching. Yeah brought back to life by vengeance Fucking Russell Crowe sitting here. I'll have my vengeance in this life for another trying to have a nice conversation I'm fucking deal with Maximus over here Ian the leader of the armies of the north fucking 300 kick you through the roof motherfucker Come on, let's do your next little question. Let's hear it. What do you got next? Fat Jugs McGee says, you know, you hear that fans. He's coming to you guys. No one's saying unfollow him on twitter. No one's safe

That's my kind of crazy. He personally attacked us individually Why don't you make fun of t-bone? He's having a rough week Everybody loves t-bone He ran out of gas quick Yeah, I'm gonna take the lawnmower to the gas station refuel take it easy curly Pretty soon you'd be threatening toby with a knuckle sandwich Oh, what are you wise guy now all of a sudden? All right, take this one to go All right, let's wrap it up gang. We love you Ian. We love you. This was very fun. Thanks for coming buddy

Cookie one getting the gig on one baby. Good times. What do you got coming up? You want to focus it out? Wilmington Delaware house elapsed june 11th the 12th two shows. He's gonna be more fun than this Yeah, you know it's suck a dick It's gonna be a good time and then I got american comedy company in zady, chicago Ian finance com for tickets by guys every thursday guest digital and Ian's in your list Tuesdays at four o'clock on sirius xm channel 99 look at that fantastic Oh and twitch twitter and instagram ianimal69 That's right. I'm gonna be choking foley out at the end

Ah Kippy gang, uh, first of all at camera in common and all social media. Let's get those fucking numbers up. You know what I mean Uh, then also, uh, patreon live shows, you know the whole fucking thing We'd love to see you on the road the live shows if you're not familiar It's uh some stand-up and the mean foley close out the shows together taking your garbage questions from the fucking audience Good times ripping shit on you the whole great. Thank you very much. Uh guys. Thank you so much. Uh, see you next time We love you. Peace