Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ian Fidance Returns!

Episode Date: June 3, 2021

Kippy and Foley are joined by old pal Ian Fidance! As always, It's a fun one with Ian. Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. (PS: The last two minutes of audio get a little wonky) Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage FUM: https://www.breathefum.com/garbage SHEATH: https://www.sheathunderwear.com Code: GARBAGE Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Gang, you want to come to the biggest show the RU Garbage has ever done? New York City, New York! That's right, we're going to be at Town Hall, May 9th. Do yourself a favor, grab the squad, grab some tickets. I want to see everybody there. Yeah, it's a good time, live stand-up, plus we play AYG with the crowd. You've seen the clips, it's a good time. It's your chance to get your garbage question read live at a very nice theater

that we shouldn't be in, ruUgarbage.com for tickets. Kip, let me tell you about Mint Mobile, baby. Shout out to Mint Mobile. When you actually take a second look at it, gang, your finances could blow your mind how much you realize you're dropping every month on certain things. It's time to cut the cable, cook at home more often,

and it's time to save a little money with that Mint Mobile. Yeah, you keep your phone, your phone number, all your existing contacts, and the switch couldn't be easier. My wife's been using it for years, way before this podcast even existed. It's a fantastic product. To get this new customer offer and your new three month unlimited plan,

your unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash garbage. That's mintmobile.com slash garbage. Cut your wireless bill to just 15 bucks a month at mid mobile dot com slash garbage up $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month new customers on first three months plan only Speed slower above 40 gigabytes unlimited plan additional taxes fees or restrictions apply see me mobile for details. Let's get to the show Do it welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.

Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah, just a big old piece of trash trash trash trash.

I'm your host, a trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in the new edition. She's out in the living room watching a little faces of death. Jackpot. Big man's back. My co's is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman

and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are Shredder of Cuckoo. And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. Slash R U garbage.

You go over there, you get up to three bajillion hours worth of content, gang. Check it out. Yes, sir. And how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire? The magic man makes us all look good, works the ones, the twos, the threes and the fours. He crosses the T's and he dots the I's. Ladies, this guy can do it all. Give it up for T-Bone, McScruffins, Tubby McBallin, everybody. What up, boys?

What up, T-Bone? I'm stoked. We got Cousin E in here. He came in, went straight to the John, and started making calls. Crazy. Oh, you can hear me? Yeah. Hello, this is the office of Ian for dance. How may I direct your call?

Please hold for Ian. Hello, this is Ian. Gang, a long hair ain't lying, because we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. Our wayward cousin finally showed up. I think he was in boot camp. He must be out of money You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast be an Ian and he has a brand new special out right now on his YouTube

Page wild happy and free give it up pre and finance everybody Back I am so happy to be back the studio is fucking unreal and I you know I had to bless it with a bathroom visit You know we used to be through many drop off a little holy water and then he walked in he was who tiles He was probably in there clogging the toilets cherry bombs down the faucet stealing paper towels To celebrate my special I brought you guys match books that I made. Ian Fie, Antimodal Appetite. Oh, very nice.

Yes, I got each of you one, and I will ask for money after the show. They're not even printed, you just put a sticker on them. Mine says the day's in. That's how you save money. Really going out on the marketing the Tropicana how much did it cost you to get the the Ghostbusters car? Oh my god Well, those guys are fans of mine. So they gave me bill Murray Dude that so we had access to the firehouse the car the pack the suits everything and

the car, the pack, the suits, everything. And the actual firehouse, Hooking Ladder 8, that they filmed the exterior of the Ghostbusters in, is a working firehouse. As fate would have it, my- You're hitting on the fireman? As fate would have it- Hello, boys! There's a fire in my pink.

I had to do a little suck favors in order to get access to the house. I'm here to slide on pole, boys. My neighbor is one of the firefighters there. So while we are in the car doing our shots, he's on the phone with me going, hey, we're on a call, we'll be back in 20, you got this amount of time, this at the other,

you got the firehouse for this. And I had to use the bathroom, so I go in. Did you get weirder since we last saw you? What? I'm excited. And I'm in the bathroom and he runs it he goes are you taking a shit we got a call I feel like a real firefighter it's amazing Jesus yeah you know when you set that up they probably thought you were a nine-year-old that thought I was a make-a-wish you kidding me a 39 year old man like can I please use your car so what kind of cancer do you have little buddy? Oh boy brain

One that gives you a mustache apparently This is the weirdest 12 year old I am Jesus Christ, and there ain't no cure Bouncing off the wall. Oh my dad's dude. I'm Words Lexa pro okay imagine me in a firehouse with the Ghostbusters front up back on be like where's the bathroom? Imagine me in a firehouse with a Ghostbusters front top back on being like, where's the bathroom? And then they're like, we have a call. Help me with my suit, please. Crone man.

Oh, yeah. There's a homeless guy on fire somewhere. It was a dream come true. It was amazing. Very nice. Thank you. Congratulations on the special. Thank you, man.

I appreciate it. Very excited. I'm very happy. I'm very proud. And you know, it's people are digging it, and I'm excited. What the hell's so funny? You got kooky vibes, you're a kooky man. You come in here and the first thing you say is you got knighted when you were five years old.

Yeah, well I see your beautiful knight over there, the Bucky's knight, and when I was in fifth grade a rite of passage in our school was to get knighted. Because the teacher puts his wiener on your shoulder? Pretty much. I had to get on my knees in fronted. Because teacher put his wiener on your shoulder. What? Pretty much. I had to get on my knees in front of the headmaster and they put a sword on my shoulder. But my eyes are closed. I was crying afterwards.

I don't know what happened. The balls on that sword are pretty hairy. Brother Michael, thank you. Knighted by a gym teacher. Oh, yeah. Dude, we had to do all these things. And then you get a knight ceremony. Slow down.

Didn't you go to a Delaware public school? No, you went to a Delaware Catholic school. Uh huh. Yeah, none of that. Well, my mom switched me schools after switch school. She switched me schools. I wasn't allowed to go to the one. Switch me schools. I got all the wrong books.

What switch me school? Well, I ended up I ended up getting too involved in the rainbows. They call it a different school. We have dinner in the morning. I Think I did go to mass every Tuesday and Thursday before school I'd have my mom drop me off cuz I used to want to be a priest really that she switched your schools from Where were you nighted at? He's not sir Ian He's on medicine. All right, stop fucking with him. Let's stop saying that. He's not Sir Ian Fadance. He's on medicine, all right?

The kid's on medicine. It's cough syrup. I smoked it. It hit you quicker. Getting knighted with a pool noodle and a hot tub. With a priest? Oh yeah, my mom used to drink, she wanted me to have-

Buried that down deep, didn't you? Bro, a lot of things have been coming out. I just picture him in a hot tub with a priest He's naked but he still has a collar on pair of sunglasses Some Michael McDonald playing in the background. There's no valice celibacy when the waters No, she would she wanted me to have like, you know, my dad died. So she wanted me to have like, man male in like, men like strong. So she dropped me off with these priests at the school. And I would just are we talking here? And you were probably

annoying. I was so annoying men who got into the priesthood to molest Well their house is haunted and I love the ghost they're looking at you go There's no way this kid's gonna keep his mouth shut dude This kid has it stopped talking since he got in but on the other hand who's gonna be in the newspaper tomorrow on the other hand Who's gonna believe him? Huh? Well, they told me there the house they all stated was haunted So I would go there and I would knock on the doors and see if they were like ghosts. But it was just men who were gay that had to join the priest. So it's like prayers

have been answered. Sweet Lord them Hail Mary's work. Come right in young man. Oh, I said Jesus Christ thank you. Yeah what else has been going on with we haven't seen you in a minute. Oh my god man things are great things are good. Not for what you just told us. That was a pass. I just dorked. You just told us you were molested when you were a kid and I think you're manic. But other than that, things are great. Things have been great. Turns out I don't need sleep. And I got a lot of good ideas. Yeah, yeah. I got a registering room of my own.

Oh. Yeah, no, things are good, man. I couldn't be happier. I, you know. Put your arms down. What is wrong? We're not the cops. I Left my license in my other pants officer

The subways are tough, all right, sorry you're talking to us like we're hostage negotiating That's still in America Well, I will be honest I did want to go to bed early last night and then I found out that OJ made in America's on Netflix. Oh yeah. It's an eight-hour series. I saw it on the whole truck. Did you watch it twice? Started at midnight. Oh Jesus Christ. But I got up, went to the gym. I've been going to the gym. What gym do you belong to? Brooklyn Training Hall. Shout out Rob Loken. Shout out. Is this like an establishment, like a big one?

Or is it like a- It's a bodybuilding gym. I don't know, but he weaseled his way into a free membership. I can tell you that by that shout out right there. Let me tell you, you cancel after before a certain amount of days. They don't know you can still go. We, dude, it's great. How much is it a month?

It's- He's not paying? I was paying. You were? Yes. Then what? Wait, so you just canceled? Well, I was not paying. I was paying. You were? Yes. Then what? You just canceled? No, well, I was on the road from February 2 until like March 6. So I was like, look, I can't pay my month, whatever. They're like, fine. And then, um, I just kind of go in. Imagine being the accounts receivable department in ENOX on your door. It's like seven people. It's a family run business. But Zachariah and Rob,

they train me so I pay them instead of the gym fee because I only go for the whatevers now. And I do pay in lunch and ubers. Hey, jazz hands, right? Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm just so excited. So I'm lifting. To be back with my family. I haven't seen you in a while. Give it up for Nathan Lane, everybody. Holy shit. Yeah, I got a little out of here. Are you still drinking that Vietnamese coffee?

What? What? Is that a sincere question? Yeah. The Vietnamese coffee you were getting over in Brooklyn. They shut down. They shut down after the pandemic. Get away from you.

Yeah. Hey, we're going to relocate 25 blocks. Get out of his day to day commute. Don't look so bad. But you know, all of a sudden Hanoi don't look so bad. Jesus fully. Uh, no, this is from yesterday. Is it really? No, will you put that in the fridge?

Because I do that sometimes. Yeah, yes. I've been trying to cut back my coffee intake. I've been having your mustache just standing up straight. It's going the wrong way. Even that's trying to get away from you. I think that's quitting time for me halfway through the episodes by your ear. Oh my God. Yeah, my cat's giving me the silent treatment. Things aren't good. That's good. She won't say a word.

But in its two weeks. Hey buddy, this ain't working out. I'd rather risk it on the streets. My goldfish keep jumping out of their aquarium. I don't know what the problem is. You know what's funny? I have not seen my mom in so long. I had a special release party for the special.

My mom came up. I made shirts for the staff at the restaurant that had my mom's face on it. It said, Gail rules. All hail Gail. You know, big deal. My mom, she never leaves her house. And dude, I swear to God, I take her out

and her friend yesterday to eat have a day. And she really wanted to get out of town. Stay we'll get dinner. She's like, I really have to go. You know, we actually got an earlier train. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She was not by the way, in the shirts a little weird. Oh, dude. Everyone was wearing a shirt. I got too many made how many do you mean 20 but I thought more people so I just ended up hanging up in the restaurant I should have brought him for you guys nation matches are enough. Yeah, these are nice matches. I mean, in theory, they're empty boxes.

Matches are extra. I took a couple. He did say he got you match books. He said nothing about the actual matches themselves. Those come separately. Yeah, man. Things are good. That's a guy freaking out trying to reset the conversation.

Sweating. How long does it take you to take your pills in the morning? About an hour, hour and a half? God, I shake him like a fucking conga line Shake cat staring at me Shake, shake, shake I'm going insane Work, work, work, Sonora

I got a broken brain Jump in the line, it's conspiracy time. Okay, it's Michael Obama The biography your cat can write talk about a tell-all thank God that guy can't speak he probably can he just he just says no hobbling Brains out Hey, what's up, I'm a house and grab my object. Tell me grab your shoelaces. We You doing anything this summer you getting away any vacays Oh, what's it? Well, what's a fight ends vacay look like if anything? He's probably never been on one You probably don't like vacations. I don't I don't like slowing down No rest for the wicked I'll sleep when I'm dead, okay

Actually, you know, I've been getting back into going to concerts and stuff. Oh very nice. Oh, I filmed this special Are you really holy cow, all right Hi also when he said that I picture two bouncers carrying him out of a concert. I've been getting back in and... I came for my ticket, god damn it! He's just egregious! I know the band! He's got his feet on the door.

Bette Midler telepathically told me she wanted me to come backstage! Uh, you know half the songs are written about me! Bette Midler telepathically told me she wanted me to come backstage. You know, half the songs are written about me. Well, I filmed this special December and I hopped on a tour bus with one of my favorite bands I've become friends with. Who? Angel Dust. They're great.

You should check them out. They know you just want a Megabus high. I don't mean a bunch of Angel Dust. I was listening to music loud. Head to Rochester for the weekend. It felt like they were there. But I didn't even do- Angel Dust. I don't think I know them.

Dude, they're great. Used to be, the singer used to sing entrapped under ice Currently of dominance they They dude I went on the bus. It was great. That was like my big player from golden corral. I don't get this riff what? They have day jobs Oh And you stink That's the riff

I mean, that's the main thesis of of the riff is you're a bozo We then proven secondary points about your friends Fuckin' fuck Kip, let's talk about that pretty litter baby. Let's do it. Woo gang, it's spring cleaning time and when you go to clean out the kitty litter and you start moving that stuff around, K puts it stinky winky.

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You gotta jump on a situation. You gotta jump on a sitch. That's high end. Find out she's knocked up. That's high end technology. Hey, I ain't the father. This is by far the best litter you've ever used. You can guarantee it. Pretty litter is amazing. You have to try it. Go to prettylitter.com

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see you going hi boys can't wait to see Kansas. Do you like the Ghostbusters? I brought kazoos for everybody. I made my own merch. I'm taking a full cut. It was great. I just went and hung out for five different cities and then ended in Philly and Brooklyn. It was, I think it was like Ohio, Virginia,

and then Brooklyn, or Philly and then Brooklyn. Very nice. Super fun. And they're going on tour again with Say Anything. You know them? Mm-mm. I think I know the name of Say Anything, yeah. Toby, don't leave me hanging.

You know these guys. Come on, man. Toby, leave him hanging. No, Toby. Leave him hanging. Your job is on the line And I will be are they like in the same ilk of like brand new yes and and and the menzinger's they they are Boys yes

Menzinger's on the tour bus shirt from Philly come on. Okay. Anyway, you know Toby I cannot confirm why are you acting like I'm not I'm the only one in the room Toby he's gonna kill all of us say you know the goddamn band of course I do so yeah that would be my yearly vacation nice but you never would want to like go to like you're doing you're doing well now you would never want to like take a you know some Dominican Republic with somebody you're close with if you're dating somebody Jordan invited me to go to the Dominican Republic at the end of the year with her family and then she rescinded the invite

I wouldn't let you say right. I wouldn't let you in the same city as my family. What do you know family? I plan their trips here when you're on the road Hey mommy, Ian's in Tuscaloosa this weekend. Why don't you come up and we'll grab dinner? I do a gig in Kalamazoo coming up. Kalamazoo. I... huh? What? What?

Oh! No! That was a blessing that that trip got uninvited. Something's wearing off over there, I don't know what it is. Shut the fuck up! No, I, going to the Dominican Republic would have been a bad idea. Yeah. There's, you know. But I'm off that stuff. been a bad idea. Yeah, there's you know But I'm all that stuff the drugs. No, no sex workers. I'm off that stuff. I haven't done that in so long

That's why I'm feeling so good. I'm not dating anyone. I'm not acting out I got my Sudoku puzzle and my I ride my bike and the gym my sold-off shotgun I am stockpiling I Am getting ready for the apocalypse. Your time is spent well when you're prepping. You're organized. You have a motive. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. I'm not a vacation guy. I don't like it.

I've never been on a cruise. What about with your mom? When you take your mom somewhere, she doesn't. She doesn't. She's a homebody. Barely leaves the house. Yeah, that's my vacation I go back to Delaware. I take care of her we every year We have crab fest at the house to get a bushel crabs her and I we crab That's fun. We put on some steely damn boss gags her music not mine. She says turn it off and It's funny I was having a genuine moment that's

Like steely then do my my mom and I we watched shitty horror movies horror movies together We talk shit what we want. That's like my that's great. That's fantastic. She smoke heaters or no mm-hmm She does we rip them out back. No kid great. What brand she crankin uh Ooh Marlboro ultra lights nice like you're just breathing yeah What's the point? You don't feel them especially if you got one or two beers. This fucking god bless her I love her so much, but she comes to visit She is too fucking carry-on bags full of shit to give me right yeah, and and it's not what's in there Dude, it's like I got your old teeth like stuff

That's at the house or like supplies for now like supplies and New gadgets that no her friends call her gale gadgets cuz she's a pretty good name She buys stuff that no one would ever want like any sort of thing you think may like something you're in You're you see something go. Oh, that's a pretty good idea like whatever you would never use It's ten of them new stuff or old stuff New stuff, okay, so she's got like an and a million like Ian you stick it to the wall And you can hang your clothes Ian It's it's a squeegee, but it's you put it at the end of a mop and then it's metal You know like what it's a lot of contraptions. So yeah, so she brings me all these contraptions. God bless her

she brings me a bunch of Tupperware was like You know trail mix and stuff. And I'm like, loose trail mix. It says sugar cubes. It says something for 25 cents at a medicine. She brought me a bridle. I brought you the fertilizer you like. I got a whole truck of it.

I brought you this new thing you had for tannerite. I don't know. My mom started doing the same thing kind of she started Sending me just like I don't know how she figured out Amazon, but she did Sending me like she sent me these gel like ice Things for your knees. Oh, yeah, and she just sent me a knee Massager bro that would be I was bill those She's giving me a hint. That's what she said.

I think I'm on the wrong side. She gave me a, oh, she came up and she goes, Ian, I brought this when you have your friends over for your podcast show. And she brought me frozen bags of soup. And I'm like, what? And she's like, you need to feed your friends. And I'm like, frozen soup?

Oh yeah, my famous frozen bag of soup parties. Hey, yeah, just give me 25 minutes I'll yeah, yeah some gruel for me. She's just so nice. Hope you guys like human like Like you want some bag soup shut up and And then but she didn't bring me any cigarettes. It was the only thing I Like could you bring me a couple cartons of cigarettes nothing? But she's got two travel bags full of God knows what okay? It's all it's all nice. You know we I have a picture. She gave me a new table now. It's not a table It's like a TV tray

Okay You're eating like to eat all like she brought you a TV tray. Yeah one TV tray are you solitary, babe? Yeah, does it have a second use or just a TV tray she traveled up here from Delaware with one TV tray. Are you a solitary man? Yeah. Does it have a second use or just a TV tray? She traveled up here from Delaware with a TV tray? Yeah, she... She drove or took a train? Drove, drove. Her and her friend.

Her friend came up with her. Yeah. Male friend, female friend? Female friend. Caroline. Caroline. Same age? This family, like, takes care of her and everything. Like, they're, like, friends. They're like a second family to her.

Gotcha. So she came up and it was it was really nice. Now, let me ask you this. Yes. She brought you all this stuff. Does Ian spring for the hotel for mom? She's I. I wanted her to stay in my place. She said no. And her and her friend got a hotel or her friend travels to work. So they had a big old discount at the Moxie.

I would have you might want to seexie in Chelsea in Chelsea blow bro my mom calls me she goes in the hotel so nice I'm outside they're tearing down signs and I'm like Jesus fucking Christ lady run so no I would have got her the hotel but I paid for everything with any nice dinners with her. Did you take her out? Take her out? Yes, I took her out. Yes. Where? To the restaurant in my neighborhood.

We also had the special party. She came to the viewing party. It's called bag soup. Yeah. Ian has this soup here. I brought some of my own. Wait, so you took her out to the restaurant that you had your viewing party at?

Yeah, so they did a special menu. Actually, for the day the special came out, they made my regular order there. Shut up, baby blues. Actually, no, no, don't shut up. I don't want more people going there. So what I regularly order is a Calamari. You mean the restaurant that doesn't exist?

Shut up, it exists, and it's a deli. It's a botega. Every day when I go there, I get a watermelon salad, a side of bacon of bacon and a soft-boiled egg and they made that the fight is a gummy worm panini Listen this is this What's in the watermelon salad? It's delicious. Go ahead Feta. Okay, cucumber watermelon dill arasubam mint effects are L Lamictal, Patterel. They're fans. They are underrated, especially in the summer.

So good. Big Mediterranean thing. So they called it the Fy Dance Special, and it came with a black cup of coffee and one cigarette and these. And guess what? Nobody ordered it. No one. No one. But a couple of people stole cigarettes. I respect that. I supplied the cigarettes. So that's where you took her. For lunch. Yeah. OK.

Because they have a whole different menu and everything. And that's like my spot. I go in. They have a paper. I sit at the at the at the bar. You know, I read the paper. I do the Sudoku and I hang out with them. You know, it's like very like I got my own Vinyl lawn rocking chair that I bring and I sit outside, you know, you really oh, yeah He has a life. He does his own thing. I love it. I dude in the morning every day

I go out in front of my apartment. I sit in the rocking chair. I smoke my cigarette. I read my paper I talk to the neighbors. Where do you get the paper? Steals it from the name of the restaurant. Yeah, you got an early bird gets the neighbors paper that in a bag of fresh bread and Every every Sunday when I'm in town me and the the OG Puerto Ricans of the neighborhood We all meet up on the corner and we do the little gossip of the neighborhood. It's very nice. I really enjoy Yeah, I really enjoy the life. I've carved like that like like a like a citizen app you yeah I see what's going on

It's nice, that's great buddy. It is so great to see you. We love you. Congratulations again on the special Did this cuz your mom called me, you know with the shirts and the I'm a slap chop. What's this all about? Ian, it's Ron Popeel. Ian, I brought Billy Mays here. This is corpse. Jesus Christ. She's grave robbing at night with Carolyn.

What the fuck is a slap chop? Oh man. It's all right. Hacker chip, huh? 2024. Look at you. Oh, man. It's all right. Hacker chip, huh? Two thousand twenty four.

We you got to have a hankie. Oh, you're fucking. Oh, my God. Why does it look like you found that in an old mine? So how else do you blow your nose with a tissue like a gentleman? No, it's a hankie. No, that's I mean, you put that in your pocket. I'll do it right now.

Put your buck rack. Is that such a weird thing? It's not normal these days. Yes. It's not weird. I'm an old school man. No one said we're old. We're 100% fine. Everything's crazy. Joe DeVola. That's a perfectly sane way to eat hot dog hey that Toby's really throwing it at me so how it's like brawn yeah that's all is it me or is that a lot of gum no I just want I just wanted to say congratulations before we get into the

question yeah oh congrats on what what we talking? I gotta put my headphones on Jesus Christ this guy Sorry, sorry, I'm getting a call. Okay. All right guys. I tell my head I can hear the radio Till my head I can hear the radio And special instructions from the Secret Service guys it's backed up on the West Side All right you fellas guys so as you know when you do we do as you know when you join a patreon We will answer your garbage question on a year It's the best way to get your question read shout out to the motherfucking homies and a goddamn army of garbage We love yes, sir. Can I say something? Sir Ian you have the floor I

have been knighted I Would thank everyone out there so many people come to shows and dig me from this show. And it always feels good to know that people come out to the shows from seeing this, man. You guys are so loved. It's so cool to see. And I really appreciate it. Shout out to the Bozos in the home.

We hear that a lot. Yeah. Shout out to the fight. Yeah. It's really, really cool. They go out and like, I get texts all the time. Your guys support comedy. They support the people they like. And it really means a lot man, and I I love seeing it

And I love hearing that and it's it's really fucking cool. Thank you, Bobby Tom Dakar has a great great one about the comments He's like the comments on your on the videos are so funny cuz it's like you're a huge piece of trash when you come into my town All right, let's see here uh this is from Cody when was the last time you had to climb through a window I would assume yours is probably more recent than either one of ours yeah you have bars on your window yeah I hear a lot of people in New York are getting rid of those there's like a tick-tock or like a trend of fucking stupid because they

were put in like the 70s and 80s. My building was made in 2007. It's got bars. Yeah. Yeah. What? Now in the first floor, I would get one. Yes, I'm just saying there's a move. I'm not saying they can't class up a little bit. Dude, people in this town are so fucking stupid. Why would you get rid of the bar?

They're there for a reason. You got a fire escape. You think motherfuckers aren't going to get up there and try to get in the room? Speaking from experience I'll be in your bedroom in two seconds All you gotta do is bring a philip screwdriver and you're in when when I go to Jordan's I climb through her window to smoke cigarettes on the fire escape Okay, I'll give you that's not going now. What are you mean doing entering? I? Okay, I'll give you that. But that's not going in.

No, when are you going into a window? Oh, you mean entering. Hmm. I went into a window within probably four years. I had to get into, I was locked out of a house and I had to go through the window. Did you ever break into your own apartment? No. Oh.

Yeah, but as a kid, did you ever break into your house, your own house? Yeah. No. Like, because you were locked out? Yeah. Oh, yeah. you were locked out? Yeah. Oh yeah, all the time. And caused a little damage. We probably, me and my brother proper broke

into the downstairs of our house. No, it was a different door back there. The alarm was going off one morning before school and we had to climb up a ladder and go in the second story window. You guys had an alarm in your house? Yeah. Huh, I'm surprised by that.

Well, why? Yeah, I'm just saying was that's a newer technology. No, man, we got one in like 93. We didn't have one till well into the 2000s. Pops took the stairway to heaven. It was like we got to have a sure sure. Protect this house. Sure. And plus it was also an immersion blender.

I see no TV. Yeah, I like the demo. I you know what? We can make an emergency immersion blender. I like the D about Merging blender and my he's a blender a blender just cut out one of the crazy products your mom gets you Leave him hanging on that say we say less That's what you get yeah, back me up on the music So don't bring a knife to an Ian fight You just spill over the carpet in that was holy water Do you have any holy water I used to keep it in my car, okay, and then I confused it with my vodka

Holy water and soda start Start speaking in tongues. We're on fire. What the hell? Sorry, I farted. Did you really? No, no, no, no. I hate that matches in the bathroom. I love that.

These are going into my, these are going into my house. That is, what? It smells even worse. No, it doesn't. Every time I make a stinker, I light the toilet paper to just make it smell better. And now it matches in the bathroom. When I pooped in an office. Like a prison riot? a stinker I light the toilet paper to just make it smell better and now I have matches

in the bathroom. I used to do that when I pooped in an office. Like a prison riot? Yeah. Well that's how you used to- I called it going to the yard. Then I banged my cup on the bars. I used to, yeah, just a little bit just to fucking diffuse.

I was dropping heavy by myself. It's a real light thing to do. I like air freshener. Don't get me wrong I was no, but the way that magic the mix of like your your poop and Air fresher smell sometimes is like this actually I think it's scientifically changes it Mm-hmm like it like if that covers it up the smoke. Where's your source on that? Science yeah, it is. It's it's called. It's called diffusion. Here we go. What?

Butthole.com. Is that what it is? Diffusion? Yeah, it changes the...the molecules start dying and spread. It speeds up the change of the scent molecules. I'm telling you. I don't think there are scent molecules. I feel like the crazy one.

Oh, it's contagious. Kev Rye, the science guy. Look that up. I learned it in science class right before I got knighted is it Real top-notch School you what does it diffuse it does not yeah, it does not whoa that's it What does it do we cut that out of lighting a match doesn't either consume or eliminate these odorous compounds instead lighting a match produces sulfur dioxide a smell causing a Compound that's even more pungent and way more agreeable than methyl mercaptan. That's like me Send that to me. I want to review that methyl mercaptan is what is is the is the stink smell Oh captain my captain

Crap then my guy sounds like an old diner waitress hey honey you want to warm up she should let me substitute the potatoes for cottage cheese is that cool gang let me tell you about aura frames oh you got mother's day coming up yeah set her straight what are you gonna get are you gonna get her a bad card with a couple scratchers in it flowers the last six days? No kidding. Do yourself a favor. You want to go to a grave and steal flowers and give it to your mother, do you? Like some kind of piece of trash? No, you don't. You want to give her a nice aura frame. Yeah.

Digital frame. You can load pictures into it. She can keep on what's going on with the kids and they're playing soccer, they're playing baseball, and they're not playing sports. Everything. Are they playing baseball and they're not playing sports? Everything yeah, it's a home run for any any mom your mom your your wife your your sister-in-law your sister Whoever your aunt your uncle sent it to him. They love it. I'm getting your mom one. Hey Couple scantily clad photos on there some tasteful nudes H or frame comes with a stand and a mounting kit so you can easily display it on the table or hang it on the wall Right now aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get 30 bucks off plus free shipping on

their best-selling frame. 30 quid? That's Aura, A-U-R-A, Frames.com. Use the code GARBAGE, like the show, at checkout to save. save terms and conditions apply. Check it out. Are you a cottage cheese man by the way? Love it. You do. I get it. That makes sense. You don't like it?

I get it. Diner. It's the best at diners. Cottage cheese with a little bit of fruit. Amazing. Love it. Amazing. Love it.

You ever scoop it out with a spoon? Dude, I eat it right out of the container. I put a little honey and pepper on it. It's high protein, gang. High I protein I like Breck stones sometimes friendship I like friends don't guy really got me back in the day Breck stone remember the Breck stones guy No, same guy that did a time to make the doughnuts. No, I'm not remember the brand name fat You don't remember the commercial My yum-yums,ums I remember the pitch man fat I do I swear

to God that is a big part of it yeah the the marketing you're very manipulable manipulative manipulative manipulative no you're mannipulative yeah you're impressionable you're buying you're an buddy. You got dog food for brains I am manipulative too. Please give me that what I am manipulative too you try, but it's you're not smart enough to put the manatee in Manipulation Somebody let him match What nothing okay? Oh wait? Oh boy? Do you ever dip things in the cottage cheese. I do what is wiener yeah Plantain chips sometimes depends what's around the other day. I was doing a little wheat then I had some garden salsa wheat then oh or sun-dried tomato wheat then or Doritos

Steal them from a flight I Did vegan gummy bears those are good. Oh, those are the best. I talk about them all the time Oh, they're my favorite gummy bears. Yeah, they're really good and and they're not on every flight. I don't get it Are you a Delta man? You're a Delta guy throw away through always It's incredible. Let me ask you this we talk about this all the time. Have you ever had the cheeseburger on a Delta flight? Let me ask you this we talk about this all the time have you ever had the cheeseburger on a Delta flight Do yourself a favor are you serious my it's my favorite meal not even joking I don't think I've ever gotten that option. I'm a big breakfast guy I take the first flight out in the morning sure you know yeah, but the other day to Chicago

I took a later flight felt amazing got, got up, went to the gym. Yeah, that's what we do. We're never first out. No, first out. We're good to get there in the morning. I just get worried. We'll do an 11 o'clock flight home. A noon flight is great, but I get worried about delays

and then missing the gig, you know? And spiders. And I dig it. Did I tell you you got arrested at the airport? Yeah, for a knife or something. The breast knuckles. Yeah, yeah. And ever since then, I've been like, God forbid something

happens in an early flight. But I'm transitioning into later flights. It feels good. Did they take you in the back for all that? Or rough you up? They took me everywhere. You can't just say, hey, it was a mistake. Are they're illegal anyway?

Say all you want, but they don't listen. I mean, I think you even caught with a bomb in your shoe and you say, hey, it was a mistake. You can have a couple fun. I didn't know I was bringing my bomb shoes. I didn't know I was bringing my bomb shoes. Sorry. Wait, are brass knuckles illegal anyway?

Like just in regular society? I think it's most states they are, yeah. I think in most states they are. So you had an illegal thing. And I told them to throw out. They did, but they also put me in jail for it. And then my buddy gave me a knife in Chicago with my name on it.

And I had that in my pocket going up to the TSA line and I found it and I go, oh, water. And I just threw it in the trash can. Throws a flashbang, tumbles through the x-ray machine. Hey, this anthrax is a minor, everybody. You guys don everybody carry weapons No, I a listener made me a very cool knife with my name on it. Which is very cool. Yeah, I just carry weapons No

Yes, these two babies go right here. Yeah, you look like you pack a wallop Packs a whopper every day. Special sauce coming up. It's cottage cheese. Two all beef patties. Here come the pickles. You want to de-supersize. If anything happens, I'm done. Yeah.

I can't get away from anything. That's my defense. I just got, if something happens, I just got if something. If something happens, I just got to be quicker than I'm with him most of the time. I just got to be half a block away from him. And I'll tell you what, I'm not I'm not doing it out of spite. I'm not fucking running. Fuck it. I'm taking it. Let's go. Yeah, I'm not running. Yeah. I'm not. I'd rather die standing up than live on my knees.

Yeah, I'm not spending a couple of seconds doing that bullshit Yeah, you light a heater and you fucking go out like a gentleman You take 10 pieces nothing makes me want to put on a mask and grab this knife more and sneak up on you That's how lazy I'd rather die I would just reach back every little Buddy let's do this Yeah, no, it's not toughness. I'm a pussy. Yeah, I'm just I'm not doing it. I'm not giving you satisfaction Yeah, it's a tidal wave coming here and let you kick my head

Waves coming here and let you kick my head You can beat the shit out of me yeah, yeah, I'm usually pretty slow to those kind of reactions anyway You could have just stopped after slow When something happens, I'm always like alright. You know what what is it? Yeah? Yeah, you know if it's coming It's coming. Do you guys take the train anymore? Not really not too much dangerous down here. It is yeah wild You know what I found hmm Carrie I think a crazy harder with you, and if something happens throw the water on them Oops like a cat damn electronics or sir sir sir Because if hey if I throw water on you right now

You're reacting and worrying about the water and not what's in front of you I'm not and it gives you some lunatic with'm not talking about a lunatic with a gun. Throw water on a guy with a gun. He's going to react to the water. And then he got time to get away. He's going to shoot you. Don't you guys watch Jackie Chan movies? He's always throwing stuff at the people.

Yeah, hot-cold. Yeah, you're no Jackie Chan. He's on the L train with a ladder. He's carrying a pool cue everywhere. Yo, I swear to God. Trying to parkour. Before I left the city in 2008, I used to put up partition walls in Stytown and I would bring all my tools on the train.

I had a ladder, I had eight feet of drywall on the train. I'm bringing a bucket of tools. Oh my God. Remember I watched a guy move a couch on the subway and they got it on. It was such a New York moment. I already helped them, held the door, like angled it, moved their seats. Yeah, no. And then the subway and they got it on every was like a such a New York Mo already helped them held the door like angled it moved their seats Yeah, and then the guy didn't even sit on it. No everyone got mad at me You got to sit on it

Guys mixing quick creed on the a train Anybody got a plug anybody got water I threw my not homeless Anybody got a plug anybody got water I threw mine on a homeless Yelling at me I showed him his concrete's a little dry anybody got water People are splashing you All right, all right just the world's worst vigilante the criminals in this town are all damp a little bit One more step and I'll blow this emergency in your face. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey you want it? You want to try me all inconvenient to for a couple seconds. That's gonna take about an hour to drive You better not have a job interview into this

You're gonna look like a real fool. Have you learned your lesson? Oh, you have a gun, okay. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm out of water. Before I stop this, man, can someone fill up my camel back? An iced tea, a soda, iced coffee's fine. You have any of that Vietnamese quality?

I haven't been able to locate any. Oh god damn it. Okay. Alright, let's see here. Alright, this one, this will be a good Ian one. Not a garbage question, but hear me out. This is more of a scenario. You're going out, you got jeans and a jacket with two pockets on it similar to that right like you got to the side pockets

You got your jeans you have your phone your wallet your keys heaters and a lighter on you How are you distributing these? Fucking this love a tactical dirtbag question. Yeah, okay Do you want me to tell you or just show you? Up to you what I always got what do you or just show you? Up to you! What do you got? In my jacket? You know the jean jacket has inside pockets too? That are game changers.

Yes. You got the heaters? Heaters in a jacket pocket. Heaters and lighter together. Full size lighter with holster by the way. With heavy metal. And I got you guys lighter holders years ago We trashed it left them at my apartment. I

It matchbook promoting your special but not usually there. That's a promotional item, right? But that pockets like my free pocket That's like a receipt or something. I have okay. I know last pot. Are you right-handed or left-handed right-handed? Yes, that's where the heaters go. That's that quick draw. Left-hand pocket, not used that much. Left-hand pocket is usually for my hand. Okay. You have a gun. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey! Notebook and... Full-size notebook, Coca-Cola's.

Taco Bell gift cards. Wrapped in aluminum foil for some reason. So the government can't read them. Nobody steal my numbers! It's from my hat. I put it around this rubber. What is that wrapped in? Ever did Rogan Taco Bell hit me up. It was like we want to give you some gift cards and maybe talk about never mention us in public Anybody else you're a Del Taco man. You're bad for our brandy.

It's like the other good fellas, after this, I don't know you no more. We already got enough crazies coming in and out of here. A book, or Sudoku in this pocket. And my stomach meds and Motrin. Stomach meds? Alright, we've gone too far with this. And then, you know you can keep stuff in here. I usually get all pockets work They have buttons. Whoa look at that, and then this is a blue choose in case something happens on the road Jesus

Frisky cat look over easy Hey, give me 15 minutes boys. I got a big closer for this pod. I like to have a blue chew in case there's a flight delay a big closer for this pod. I like to have a blue chew in case there's a flight delay. And yeah, oh, and my. Where's the cell phone go? Back left pocket, keys back right pocket. But they're clipped. Keys are hooked. Keys are clipped, hanky.

And then I got my earbuds in the little pocket. In the fifth pocket. OK. Mustache comb in the right pocket. Wallet in the left front. What are you doing? Front. What are you doing in the fifth pocket. Okay. Mustache comb in the right pocket. Wallet in the left front. What do you do? Front. What do you do in the summertime? With no jacket. Fanny pack. There you go. Yes.

He's a big fan. I am a fanny man myself. Yeah. On the road. OK. Myself as well. Now, so that's how you do it. If you're deranged, if you're a crazy virgin. Well, what were the items that the so it's you got wallet, keys, heaters and lighter. Okay.

Our phone wallet keys. That's a pocket for each. As a bigger guy, okay, I'm gonna tell you how the big boys operate. Sometimes when you have too much stuff in your front pocket, you look a little fatter. Yes. Okay, and sometimes-

And your jeans are typically tighter. Typically tighter. And we're bigger guys. Larger gentlemen. Wacky. Yeah, statures increase Tighter typically tighter and sure we're bigger guy larger gentlemen wacky Yeah, that's your increase during nutritional consumption Fork intake church it up. However you want your fat go ahead

Ian like that one Working on that it loves it See it guys good Every one of those sookus just says Ian. Ian, Ian, Ian. He's filling them out like crosswords. Dude, he's dot. Give me a nine number word for fat, what?

Ian. He's dotting the I's with little hearts. For himself. So, and sometimes the front. Mr. Ian Foley. Foli. Foley and Ian sitting in a tree. E-A-T-I-N-G.

And an Uncle Ian Foley. Oh, man, if you do shacked up. Uncle Hank and Aunt Ian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of my favorite lines from Mrs. Doubtfire. Oh, yeah. Your Uncle Frank and your Aunt Jack. Aunt Jack. That's the best. Oh, man. Those two are great. Good God. Oh, yeah. Your Uncle Frank and your Aunt Jack. Aunt Jack, that's the best.

Oh, man, those two were great. Good God, what a movie. Anyway, stuff in the pockets in the jean jacket sometimes get a little bit of flap. So you really gotta position it. But they do a good, if you gotta- Covering it up. They cover it up, because if you're walking

and you turn a corner and you catch a wind, ooh, that opens up on you. So a phone or keys in there will keep it tight yes and usually as a bigger guy I like to have the jean jacket or button because I don't like when you do turn a corner and just fucking there's half a fucking hammer corners you turn turn a lot of course I turn a lot of tricks like those third quarters just when you think you got me boom turn a go wallet back right pocket That's crazy to me how thicks your wallet because it can fuck up the way you sit

That's not that's it. I'll go cell phone back pocket out of salami so so Alone on the inside It's a roll up I go so phone back got your wallet back pocket pocket you got your cheese in your front lap You got your crackers in your right you don't sit You keep the bread in the jacket, but you're just making sandwiches You don't want to make crumbs in your back left pocket. Catch up in mustard packets. You could put wherever you want I prefer my shoes

And you keep your full hoagie on the inside for later. Phone goes in back right pocket on stage, front right pocket walking around. Keys go in. That's phone in the front pocket is crazy to me. Phone in front pocket's wild, especially if you've got a protector and you try to pull it out, it makes the pocket come out with it. Always front pocket.

I feel like it's going to fall out of your back pocket. You're insane. Security risk back there. Although, when I wear shorts, because I got holes in the butt and I got to wear shorts underneath it, I take the phone case off, because with the phone case, it weighs more, and it can make the hole bigger.

Wait, would you have holes where? He's got a hole in the bottom of his pocket. Huh? Did you just fart and say safety? Yes. Strike a match. That's a question. What is the last time you did safety? And and doorknob last time I was knighted You don't do that that's fun play safety. Yeah fart you got to touch a doorknob. Yeah, no oh dude

I got PSP PTSD from fucking playing safety and doorknob you're still doing it Just from you and your cat get me Him in the Puertoican guys on the corner. I can't find a doorknob! Hit me so I feel something. God, I love that guy. It looks like I hate it, but I love it. Woo! Alright, great question. That was a good question. Yeah, I do back pocket phone wallet and cash are separate front two pockets heaters In one jacket lighter in the other jacket you ever do pocket tees heater in the pocket tee now

I already got back of the day a bad law stretches out the pocket though it does Yeah, well you got to have the pocket stretch because if it's tight it looks weird It looks like you're wearing a pacemaker on the outside. Yeah,, you gotta have the pocket stretch because if it's tight, it looks weird. It looks like you're wearing a pacemaker on the outside. Yeah. So you gotta have it stretched out a bit. I saw Pulp Fiction came out in 94. That was my senior in high school

all that summer was short sleeve button down t-shirts with with with the heaters in the bro. That's all I do in the summer. I do a wife beater and a open button up t-shirt, short sleeve with the heaters in the pocket. Those work. Can't beat it. Yeah. The best.

Nothing beats walking down the street and popping out the smokes. Sure. Having a heater. Yeah. There you go. Uh alright, this is what I don't think we ever talked about. This is from Fritz $10 Homie here. As a kid ever make those colored sand bottle art things at a street fair? Huh? I was too complicated. I was also is it. I don't know if you know. You know, the layers of colored sand, sand, our bottle.

And I couldn't help shaking them for a year. Color just doesn't work. Dude, we would get these big Coke. The Wildwoods Boar Walk. They were huge. You can make them yourself. Hold on. Sorry to cut you off.

Would you would they give you those Pepsi bottles already stretched out because they used to do that in front of you They would get it they would get a Pepsi bottle really and they would heat it up and they would stretch it to make it Oh, yeah, I just figured they were like custom-made. No, no, that's that's aftermarket shit That's some carny doing that my cousin Kelly used to get them all the time Really show up in the summer They would get a Pepsi bottle and they do it in front of you and they like blow the glass In front of you really yeah, you never know boardwalk and not a forge

Is this night was this 1853? Did you guys ever do the one where you dip your hand in the wax I did to my dad Let me do the last finger when I was me too probably eight My grandpa let me do it in sixth grade, and it was like the coolest fucking thing in the world Everybody was walking by I'm going down a middle finger down a middle finger I did it on Mariners boardwalk in wild, New Jersey. I'm surprised you're not a turn into a candle Yeah, burn it. I'm surprised you don't have an airbrush Jeans jacket with something on the back something airbrushed on the back something look forward to yeah

What would you put on the back? I mean you got a lot of real estate Constitution James Webb telescope photo Moby Dick Manhattan phone book Wikipedia I went so far I even had my own one to do at home. I got like a kit for my birthday maybe what to make wax figures no to make the sand bottles and we had like the yeah man it wasn't my favorite you were a 12 year old girl save up for a couple of years save up with your babysitting money I could see you wearing a jacket with like an airbrush picture of your face

and then underneath it, it would say Saisan Pun like as seen on TVN. That's pretty good. I could see some hot pink in there. That's not a bad idea. That's amazing. Yeah, as seen on TVN. TVN.

Wow. That's amazing. That's your next special. As seen on TVN. Toby, look at you leaving me hanging earlier and coming through in the end because it happened on the show tody owns 25% of that I'll give you taste just one cig and a watermelon salad a couple of watermelons. Sorry Another thing that was huge they were the braided

Like color for belts you remember those what about the henna you guys do henna tattoos? I did every initials are on my for every year the red hot chili pepper symbol right here. Yeah What oh yeah, do you remember these guys were Catholic? The hand woven belts one year and one're sure I remember that a hit yeah heavy and the end the the the the Bracelets the thread bracelets. I remember like making my mom make me Mean different things. I remember the gemstones. They were all right. Yeah, and when they fell out that Huh, like you know like like the candy necklaces. Yeah. Yeah, it was made me hungry they When they'd fall out the thing that it stood for would come true

you know like if you got an ankle bracelet with those gems and The the gem stood for like love when they fell out you were closer to like finding your love That's the one I was good in bashing his ankle in his shit Wayne the directory to like finding your love. That's the one I always get. Ian bashing his ankle in his shit. Someone love me! On his way into the rectory. Hey, boys. My love gem fell off. And I just popped a blue chip.

Yes. Don't mind me if I pick up somebody's love gem. Edit that riff. Were you a, what, make it louder? Were you a crystal guy? You had to be. You had to be the white crystal. During the pandemic, things got so bad.

The pandemic, I'm talking about high school, you freak. Oh no, no, I was keeping some, some. Pooka necklace, high school. I was a hemp necklace guy, and I learned how to make them. No, what? How are you gay or the name Yeah, I don't know my buddy move a kid moved from California, which we were like started infecting the friend group yeah We brought a long board and hemp necklaces and good vibes and we were in he had long blonde hair and we were like he was like out of a mood

It was like sunshine. Yeah, I call sunshine Awesome a hemp necklace and we couldn't find you couldn't buy them You didn't like you didn't know where to go buy a hemp necklace, you know, and they were illegal He knew how to make them. So he taught us how to make them and yeah, I was I remember What'd you get the hemp from Michaels? They sold Michael's so Michael ever tried to smoke the necklace. I probably at one point I did we would smoke cinnamon high now now of course not bad headache No, it's my buddy's tried to smoke banana peels one time. They said that that got you high what yeah?

I don't know what the science is but I don't yeah, I'm not sure about that Yeah, we would do cinnamon sticks you could smoke a cinnamon stick No, no that we all have mint leaves. You ever done dust that get you high angel dust Duster oh no, yeah, I was addicted to computer dust man talk about a good time Last week Talk about a good time now. What you wanna call it. Oh, I used to make my necklace I used to get chains at the hardware store make

Oh, I used to make my necklace. I used to get chains at the hardware store make Necklaces we try to do that with chain wallets. Mmm. That was big for beer bongs You'll be tubing in a funnel make your own custom beer bong for like seven bucks sure oh yeah with the switch off Yeah, put a little valve in there. Yeah, yeah, that was great you pierce your own ear now I don't know piercings never never whoa never got my first tattoo at 17 never at a piercing huh? already rings Which I call this hand my free hand because these are all given to me ah Very nice Native American family down in San Antonio Please just take it and go, sir.

We don't want to hear your stories. Probably rained for 15 straight days when you left. Chief get the fuck out. Hey, manic bull, please leave. Hey, Chief, long story no ending The natives call him Uma Uma which means weird kid Sure fucking wacko, dude I Sure fucking wacko, dude All right, we got time for one more here Let's do this is this is a great one for Ian Schmeian is being a heater man from Blake Jones $10

Do you do any stretching while ripping Bernie's I always hit a toe touch or a quad stretch when I'm getting a Nick fix. Wow, I do. Yeah, it's a good time. Yeah, yeah. Maybe one of these. Oh, yeah. Have it in your mouth. Touch your toes. Kind of get a little high. Oh, yeah. I rip cigs on my bicycle. That going up the Williamsburg Bridge opens your lungs up. I don't think that's right. Yeah, well what? It's like his emulsion theory with the match in the pan. We're all wrong. We cut that out. I don't

know what you're talking about. And I said diffusion Alright gang the special is wild happy we got a cold one eight under got junk in here You have to clean up after you it's just fucking nuts Like an ID went off into Spencer's IED went off into Spencer's What'd you start shopping at an army Navy store They called Gang the special is wild happy and free. It's over there on his YouTube page. It's absolutely fantastic The one the only Ian Fy dance me and everybody and I mean what do you got coming up? You want the folks out there to know oh

Man, I'm going all over punch up dot live slash Ian finance for all my dates all my tickets I'm going all over loving it having fun I animal six sign on Instagram and being Ian with Jordan every Wednesday and also I Tangentially gave you all a shout out on the thank-you list They said to everyone from Philly always and Chris Cotton forever. Very nice. It says the Raven Lounge, everyone from Philly always and Chris Cotton forever. Very nice. Love that.

I would have liked the personal shout out, but that's just me. I'll go and edit. Kevin, what do you got for him? Guys, we're over the road. All tickets are available at rugarbs.com. The big show you wanna get tickets for that are running out. Town Hall, May 9th, New York City, New York

Let's yes come out and see us gang. We love you, and we'll see you next week. I will supply these for no You're not allowed on the property