Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ice Socks w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! NYC! Get Tickets to the Gramercy Show, Access Code: GARBAGE https://www.livenation.com/event/k7vGF99hSu4jM/are-you-garbage-podcast Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Raycon: https://www.buyraycon.com/garbage15 Promo Code: HOLIDAY This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp, Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans

Attention, attention, New York City, New York. The Big Apple, baby! Are you Garbage Live is coming to the Gramercy Theater February 4th, baby, you're not gonna wanna miss it. It's gonna be our biggest show yet. Army of Garbage Unite, baby. Long Island, New Jersey, Brooklyn, Queens, Connecticut, Staten Island.

Fly in, Alaska, I don't care. Tickets go on sale December 7th. You need the Early Access Code Garbage to get them before the general public. Use Code Garbage December 7th to get your tickets. Let's go, baby. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians

are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Hey, yeah. It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I have to go to be classy.

They're just a mega old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Antutti's basement. She's upstairs baking some Christmas cookies. Okay. Listening to the Ozzy Osbourne Christmas apple. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. That seemed like a patronizing chuckle.

If you ask me, he is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He's in a mood. He is the international businessman himself. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. Hey, gang. Thanks for tuning in. Appreciate all the support. As always, please make sure you rate, review,

subscribe over there on iTunes, even though it don't mean nothing no more. And then obviously, full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are. Trudero. He bought from the rafters. That's the turkey, baby. Let's go.

Fuck that. That ain't the turkey. The turkey is over there at that www.patreon.com. That's Are You Garbage. Forgot about that. A lot of turkey over there. You got turkey sandwiches. You got open face.

You got turkey. You got legs. You got everything you want. A couple of wishbones too. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer, Extraordinaire. That magic man makes us all look good. Works the ones and twos.

Crosses the T's. That's the I's. Give it up for D-Bone McScruffins. It's our good pal. Toby McMullen, everybody. Hey, what's up, dude? Hey, D-Bone. What's going on, buddy?

When would you guys pop off the Christmas carols in the house? For us, it was day after Thanksgiving and it was Jesus Christ Superstar. It was Randy Rose. Wait, Jesus Christ Superstar is not a Christmas. Sure is, but it's about JC and the folks love it. It is when you're drunk.

Put on bat out of hell. Entries of confusion. I got to be honest with you. Like I said, I got a record player not too long ago. The bird went to a flea market over the weekend. In Brooklyn, came back with a Christmas album. Really, who is it? She threw that on its little Frank Sinatra,

little Barbara Streisand, and somebody else I forget. Oh, Max. Got little babs on there, huh? Shout out to her. God damn Superstar. She keeps it tight, too. Shout out to babs. Man, she was a monster.

What am I taking a run at her now? What are you talking about? Love an old broad. Let's go. That's my kind of thing. What do you say Christmas carols, I think? La, la, la, la, la, la. That's singing.

Christmas music. Christmas music. Yeah, I'm a Nat King coal man all the way. God damn. He could be singing about anything, dude. He'll get you. Emotional. I got them rocking now.

They're rocking in the car. I got that serious station set in there, fucking Christmas traditions. I don't mind that. People get all bent out of shape about fucking, ah, it's not even Thanksgiving and we're playing Christmas music yet. It's like.

Well, they pushed it up a little bit this year. Who gives a fuck? I'm playing. Tune it off. Buddy. Change the channel. Get Spotify. Garbage.

We ain't playing it. La, la, la, la, la, la. Buddy, I'm down all the way. Sure. I like it. As soon as fucking Halloween's over, get that candy out of the CVS and start putting those Christmas trees in there.

Sure. Yeah. Only problem. I just, I was on a ride down here and they're setting up the fucking Christmas tree stands already. The Canucks are coming down. I know.

It's the same, it's the same guys as last year too. They're like gypsies when they come down. I don't know where they're sleeping. They drink our hooch, sleep with our women. Oh, yeah, they do. They clean up. Spring break for that. That's as far as fucking they go.

Fucking maple syrup, cologne, and fucking tweed jackets that everybody wearing. Some may say they even started that two weeks ago. Did they? They're already selling them? Oh, oh, OK. By the way, what high school movie are you trying out for? You can't see Tebow, but he's got this stocking hat on.

Yeah, it looks like you're on your way to fucking biology right now. Yeah, I'm the coolest kid in school, dude. Toby McMullen is 12th year senior. I got to get the Mr. O'Reilly's class stat. Where's my board, dude? They held me back for lighting farts with the Bunsen burner. Toby McMullen is the 32-year-old freshman.

That's not bad. Give me 1,200 words on it. I'll see if I can pitch it to the suits. As I was saying, the only tough thing about this year on the East Coast when we did that Chrissy Chaos podcast, shout out to Chrissy Day, Chrissy Tinkies. Chrissy Kellen. I know the man.

He does all right, that kid. Short doll. Fantastic. But we were talking with him about how great, you know, how much we love the Eastern Seaboard. You know, Boston. I don't think I've ever said a doubt. Big fan of the Eastern Seaboard.

Best waterways in all the world. They got the best tributaries you could ask for. None of that brackish water like you have down south there. Who says that, the Eastern Seaboard? That's where we live. Looking at the Doppler 10,000, the Eastern Seaboard. East Coast. I love the East.

Yeah, the East Coast. The Seaboard. But right now, man, I'm too lazy to do it, and it really doesn't. Stop right there. And the guy. I'm not going to believe another word out of your mouth. I'm dry.

What do you mean? I'm out of weed. What do you mean? What do I mean? My skin. I'm dry. I'm dying. And the moisture.

It looks sweaty to me, so I look confused. The moisturizer doesn't work, and the soap that I use, it's the worst, man. Stop going soap. You're washing all the oils off your body. Go all natural. You don't want that. No, just do the, run the bases.

I can't do that. Why not? Your arms aren't dirty. Are your arms getting dirty? I just seep disgustingness. Trust me, you wouldn't want me to stop showering. I'm not dwewing. I didn't say stop showering.

I said, adjust what you're doing in a shower. That's way different. Lay off the hoagies. No meatballs, no meatballs in a bath tub. You're just in there. It's a big thing of soup. You're slurping your way out. There's like full onions floating around you and stuff.

It is nice soup weather. Oh, it's a real good soup weather. Something arty. Give me something. Give me a split pee, will you? Give me a nice goulash. Not bad. I like a chili, a turkey chili.

Swear to God. Again, hand the gift. You're dropping some fucking bombs on me. Hi, Thompson here. I thought I knew you're my best pal in the world. Turns out you like chili. Talk about scoops. I'm dropping them.

Yeah, I'm all ashy. Do you do anything? Do you do any routine? You're a Scottish man. You do any moisturizing at all? No, and I just realized I'm a raisin every day of my life. Yeah, he looks like griptain from here. What are you talking about?

Just put sex wax all over him. What about you? I do the, you shine up that dome and anything? Sure, do. Put a little turtle wax on it. Put a little buff and shine. Get that Zambona they use at the grocery store. You should trick your forehead out

and get the engine that comes out of the hood like that. To make it a hot rod. Everybody comes over in my garage just tinkers on me. Everybody, a couple of guys hanging out drinking a beer. It's like fucking home improvement. I use the Nivea. Nivea, OK. Nivea cream.

All right, you do use a cream. Yeah. I have a little bit of that. It's more like a, it's not like a cream. It's not like a liquid cream. It's more like a paste. Yeah, no, I know what you're talking about. Sometimes you can get the travel size.

It comes in a little. I travel with one every time we go on the road there. Looks like a little shoe polish. Dingleberry, yep, I love it. I feel like I'm really buffing out my face with it too. It's like a good consistency. Yeah, it's good stuff. I have some in the car.

I used it in my hair for a little bit this summer when I was staying off the, when I was staying off the crew forming cream for a little bit. My hair was growing. Times are tough. Moisturizer's good for the hair. Okay. A little tip out there.

A little, a little, little secret H fully tip. Don't wash your hair, kids. And put a little moisturizer in it. If you do wash it, put a little moisturizer in it afterwards. Don't use those leave-in conditioners. Girls, don't use the dry shampoo. Okay. Keep it real, real simple.

Got natural oils up there. You don't want to mess with it. Gotta keep the oils. The other thing is, although I haven't washed my hair in 10 years and look at me. So, you know, do what you wish. Roll the dice. You're doing the fight though.

If you did it, you'd have to be blowing away like a daisy seed. Whatever they're called. Dandelion? Pussy Willows. Dandelion. Hey, clean it up. We're gonna get demonetized over here. It's holiday season.

God damn it. Jesus Christ. Gang, this is a family episode. Sure is. As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon over there, which as we four mentioned, is a ka-ha-ha-ha. And it's a good time over to get a lot of content. Lot of content.

If you join now, you get like the past fucking 18 months of content too. Lot of bang. You get everything archives. Lot of bang for your buck, as a 90s dad would say. Little more bang for your buck, you know what I mean? You'll need a lot of bang for your buck. We're talking about hookers, right?

Trying to get my dad to buy a vacation. Lot of bang for your buck. Need to come with a couple of shotguns. Some serious business. But as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, you get a question right on the air. You got Kippy and me here to read those questions for you. Right now, here, on Are You Garbage?

Who wants to be? Are You Garbage? Sometimes you fall into the guy from Slumdog Millionaire voice. I've been doing it. And I've been trying to work my way out of this tootie slump. What do you mean? You got one out of me today.

I got one out of you tonight. I didn't trust it, though. What do you mean? I wasn't confident in it. Don't tell any. Well, I laughed. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Can't get a read on this guy, did it? I feel like I'm going to turn. It's slowly coming back. I go through a little bit of a drought with them. I don't get you too much. But sometimes the kids at home enjoy them when you don't. I think everybody enjoys them. I also enjoy them.

Listen, buddy, you're still in the hunt for the playoffs. All right? Yeah, listen. You're not fully out yet. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying right now, it's like mid-season. I've took in a couple of lumps, you know what I mean? Got sent down to the miners for a little bit,

hooked up with a Denny's waitress, and I came back into pros. And a busboy. And a busboy. I call that the Denny Sampler. Now I feel like I'm starting to get into the zone. I was in a little bit of a writer's block for a little while. Did some of that Hayawaska truly coming out.

OK, good. That's something you can't do an act out in, Tootie. You're kind of your hands are tied. Put it in an omelet. Yeah, all right, let's get into it, boys. We've got a couple of barn burners over there and a Patreon. This one coming in from an international homie. Yikes.

Up there in Canada. Ooh, shout out to him. This is from Shane. I never have one read, during work Zoom meetings, my coworker lights up multiple burpees on camera every time. Unless you're an auto mechanic, that shouldn't be allowed. I assume, at least visually, a Zoom conference call is like an all, you're at work, right?

You wouldn't sit in your office. I don't know. That's a dirtbag move. It's a dirtbag move. OK, but that's not what that's. You're smoking in your crib. Unless you're outside. That's even worse.

I know, that's what I'm saying. So you're smoking indoors. Just quit. Dude, you're doing daytime sigs inside. That's wild. Nighttime drunk. Sure. Hold on.

Let's break this down piece by piece. Canada is also cold. I get that. Is it frowned upon? Sure. Is it against company policy? That's the big question. I would say no.

That could go for eating. That could go for drinking. I think you should handle it like you would in a person to person meeting from a professional standpoint. I mean, this guy's ripping darts on a Zoom there. You believe that? Got a good head of hustle. I say promote him.

What are you kidding me? That's the kind of fucking maverick you want running the company. It's a goddamn cowboy. No way. That kid ain't going to be around a long time. Let me ask you this. Can you drink during a Zoom meeting?

Like a bottle of water? You mean hooch? No, talking about booze. No. You're at work. You're not in the office. But you're working. You're at your home.

Listen, I understand you're arguing, but you're working. You're still working. What about eating? Can't smoke crystal meth either. Oh, and I quit. What are you just going to say? Yeah, you're allowed to eat in your office. You're sitting there.

You got a ham sandwich or whatever. Sure. But it's also like, well, if you're with a client and you're like, you know, you're chain smoking, you're chain smoking burnies, that's a tough look. I ain't buying nothing from you. I'd love to know what they do for it. It's got to be something blue-collar-ish.

I don't think you want to be having fucking Zoom meetings. He's a cardiologist. What you're going to want to do is, fabelize my light. That guy's also talking to people off-screen a lot too. He's yelling at the dog or whatever. Get out of there. Go and get. Man, what a kooky time that we were in when all that was

going down. All to Zoom. When everybody was getting used to it, you know what I mean? You got used to it like day two. You really were living your best life during the quarantine. Man, come on. I didn't mind it, though. When we were doing this show, we were Zoom-ing.

I'd go up. I was staying down the shore. I'd go up into the empty bedroom or on the living room. My wife would leave for the hour or whatever, have a nice cup of coffee, bottle of water. Only had a dress from the waist up, you know what I mean? I'm in my little under-ruise and a clean t-shirt. Paulie still does that.

I have no pants on right now. Stand up, we blur it. Just a little. It's a little quarter. A little tiny blur. My little pee-pee, you leave him alone. He's a good kid. Sure.

Home run of a question. Home run. I can't believe that hasn't come up. Really? I guess because probably not all the people are doing that, I would assume. No, people like to keep their jobs. That's crazy, dude.

I want to pick. Take a pick and send it on social or something. Please. This is from Bag-O-Milk, talking turkey. Have you ever cooked an entire box of stovetops? Stovetop stuffing, not at Thanksgiving. Yeah. I don't think I have, but I think we would do stuffing.

We would do, we were a stovetop, shake and bake household. Family, you would do it. I thought like that's. Oh, I never, dude, you're making stuffing yourself? That's something that I would do at like the Titan House, the house we lived in in South Philly. Really? Yeah, that's a, Jessica, that's, yeah, that's I'm an adult,

but I'm broke. That's what I would do. All right, here, this is where I'm coming from. That mac and cheese. In my head, I could. My mom, if she ever did that. What? I would have smashed her with a cookie sheet.

What are you kidding me? That don't hurt. Start using the WWE. She starts putting that out when it's not November. I think we might have. Jesus Christ, the sacrilegious. I don't know, this is also where my memory gets real foggy. Shake and bake all day.

I understand that. Yeah, no, no. Mom's a working mom. No, step mom. My mom never did shake and bake. Step mom did shake and bake. Oh, OK. I'm just trying to win me over.

Shake and bake and be be good. That's what dad's house was at, at Rice Aroni. Big chicken Rice Aroni house. And when they would make the beef, I'd pick around the carrots. I didn't like veggies at the time. Man, at Rice Aroni, little vermicelli in there. Oh, man, if you cook Rice Aroni to the perfect liquid,

like liquidity, the perfect moisture, it's like, kind of soup, kind of not, kind of everything. What was the best? What was the best is after dinner, when you were clearing the plates, there would be some in the pot, and it would be cooled down. And it became like this. Like wood chips, kind of.

Oh, dude, just. Oh, yeah. I used to put it in solo cups and take it up to my room. If you need me, I'll be in my boudoir. Put your smoking jacket on. I'm going to take this upstairs and stuff, and I'm going to take this in my Wawa iced tea. Upstairs to the tub.

I drew a band. Do not be disturbed. Please, play in the Rice Aroni flip cup. All right, who's up next? Pussies, play 10 cup. That is something that is getting more and more popular, I think, at like. Rice Aroni?

No. What? Let's open it up for Taylor Swift. No, is the cup. Putting things in cups and eating them out of cups. I see the Instagram videos where people have a cake. Say it's a birthday party, they have a cake. Everybody takes a cup or a glass and just

scoops out some of it. I like that. It's real Instagram. I like the look of what we're doing. I like it. Dude, I was doing cups of cereal so I could roller blade when I was like eight. Just like out there in the streets

with cinnamon toast crunch and a fucking plastic. With milk? Yeah. You're eating it with a spoon? Uh-huh. Yeah. I remember my brother blew my mind. He was like, he wanted to go play hockey.

I was like, hold on. I'm about to make a bowl of cereal. He goes, put it in a cup and take it outside with you. I was like, what did you just say? Nobody called the news, dude. You're the smartest guy in the world. And he goes, I'll have one with you. And we both poured it in and then went to fucking play

hockey or whatever. And there's this you just floating down the street. Yeah, I got to had to clip. My dad always bought instead of red solar cup. Diabetes is just fucking killing it. I would pay anything. Cup of a balanced breakfast, dude. I don't know what you're talking about.

I would pay anything to see you hit a rock. What? Man, can you imagine him? Probably a deuce, deuce and a quarter. Fucking rolling down the street. Smoking endos, sipping on gin and juice. Milk mustache. I'm playing forward.

When I picture you as a kid, you always have a chocolate milk mustache. No, only on Sundays. We went to the diner. That's funny. Yeah, man, big puttin' stuff in a cup. Love it. That, like goldfish, so you can like take in the car

or whatever, fill up a cup of goldfish or whatever. It's perfect for it. Come on. I'm talking about like, man, that was at a wedding. Can I get a rundown of fucking your goldfish flavors top to bottom? I like the traditional cheddar. OK.

I like a pretzie. That's kind of where it starts and ends with me. That's really all we had when I was banging. We didn't have the 19 different tricolored flavors that you got. I mean, you got pizzas in there, too. Pizza became popular in the 90s. Oh, OK.

Yeah, the pizzas, I'll take the pizzas. Man, but not all the time, but you catch a pizza like once every two, three months? Woo, that whole bag is hot, dude. But as I've testified before, you know, Congress, Senate, many places, I'm a cheese it, man. I prefer the cheese it. Hey, I'm right there with you.

My cousins were big into the goldfish. We didn't keep cheeses at the house, though, ever. Never cheeses at the house. Goldfish. Yeah, we didn't keep either one of those at the house. I had to go to my cousins to get my cheese at fixed. They had all the snacks. That's who the plug was.

That's who the plug was. Yeah, they had to knock on the window and walk around to the back. They had the huge, it looks like a huge chocolate milk container, carton of the cheeses. Oh, cheeses. No, I'm sorry, of the goldfish. We kept those at the crib.

That would end up in the room, too. Instead of making the trip down stairs. Patty was big on the pretzel rods. Who was it? Yeah, they were OK. Do you remember penny sticks? What am I? We're friends, right?

I thought so. The penny stick. Talking about the little banger box. Oh, they were coming bags. Bags? No, these came in a little square yellow box. No, that's not penny sticks. And they'd have the plastic over top.

That's not penny sticks. But they were little thin pretzels. Yeah, those were not that great. Between that and a pack of the snack pack with the cheese and the crackers, bing, kicked that shit down the road. No, penny sticks were like a real, they sell them at the place in my neighborhood.

They were like a more artisanal pretzel rod. Are they twisted? No, which I never really cared for because they were always like multi-grain or something. I had honey on them, kick rocks. Yeah, that's why Patty was big on them, the honey twist. They were all right in a pinch.

You know, I'd rather eat salt dust though. In a pinch, if you're starving and the game's on and you have a couple of screamers, you got a screaming cold soda, you can make just plain saltine's work. Wait, what did I call the, what was the thing that I was just talking about? Not honey sticks.

Penny sticks. Penny sticks. Looks like the driest snack ever made. No, they're buttery. They're fucking great. My Aunt, my Aunt Mary Catherine shout out to her, used to get- I Googled it and Penny Stocks comes up.

These things were fucking fantastic. Let me see. I'll pick this up for them. Oh, okay. Yeah, they were all right. They still sell them in my neighborhood. That's like a Pennsylvania Dutch kind of vibe. Yeah, it might not be a global operation.

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Do it. Gang, the show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Uh-huh. So listen up, screwballs. All right, the holiday season's here. Everyone's being driven crazy. Life doesn't come with an owner's manual. We're all figuring things out.

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That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash garbage. My aunt used to get these, like, they were like butter pretzels. They were, Yeah. Man. You know what'll be at my- Talk about game change.

Oh yeah, but then again, you feel that all over your hands and stuff. You're like covered. It's like an oil slick. Who cares? Um. As long as I can handle the remote, I'm good. You know what, I'll still go home

and it'll be at the crib. The fucking Snyder's Blazin' Buffalo pretzels or the Honey Mustards. Buddy. My stepdad still bangs with those. Many a times I have told you the impact that the Snyder's Pretzel pieces Honey Mustard. I think it's honey and onion.

It's not Honey Mustard. It's something we- Whatever it is. No, it's Honey Mustard, I think. When those- They're fucking it, get you in the jowls and I don't- Oh yeah, when those things hit the market, they were a coveted possession in our house.

The fucking flavor on them is so pungent. I don't know, it's like they change it at molecular level. Sometimes you just find little chunks of the flavor. It's crazy. It's not even pretzel, you're just eating mustard. It's like finding dark matter. It is, it's whatever it is, it's like fucking compounded on itself.

Dude, so good. It's Honey Mustard and onion. Honey Mustard and onion. Honey Mustard and onion. You were both right. They tripped up on you. Nice. Damn.

All right, let's keep it rolling here. This one's from Sean, never had one read. Ever date someone with milk crate furniture? That's a tough look, dude. You're dating a guy or a girl with milk crate furniture? I think it was acceptable for a certain time to have your record collection or your CDs. Records, of course, because it's perfect for that.

I think it can be kind of kitschy and like a storage wave. You got one or two for like kids toys or fucking whatever. I can see that. Sure. But if like your coffee table's built on fucking commingled bins. Yeah, a couple of Rosenburgers.

Remember them? That's a local Philly thing, Rosenburgers. Of course, of course. Shout out to it. That, any palette is kind of tough. Unless it's done right, the problem is those things aren't usually done right. If it's done right, it looks professional, it looks cool.

Whatever, I'm with that. But a lot of times it gets real clunky and you forget to finish the one side, the two things don't match, you know what I mean? Did you ever have a broken couch? Yeah, we just had, you just broke a couch in here like two weeks ago. Okay, I think that was necessary.

Toby, cut that please. Back in the day, coming up, did you ever break a leg on a couch? I don't think so, though. And have to put like the phone book. Oh, something, yeah, like coasters or something under it. Coasters? I think we did something along those.

We had like a stack of coasters. Most immaculate coffee table on the land. Man, Margaritaville's got these powerful coasters. Hey, hold, they'll hold 200 pounds. Coasters. Three grown men. That's a big quote. Were you a coaster family? I mean, I was yelled at.

Sure. To be a coaster guy. So your mom had coasters readily available. Yeah. Wow. That's pretty classy. Coasters are real classy. Yeah, but sometimes they were like, they were stolen from like Sullivan's bar and grill or whatever, you know what I mean?

They weren't like, now she's got like a nice, not marble, but like slate or something like that. With a little soft part underneath. Like the cork or whatever. But like what we've said, those things would be gotten, those things, all that kind of consumer products have become very affordable. I feel like those back,

those are probably like 12 bucks now. We're back in the day, they were like $49.99. That's spending $39.99 on fucking corks on fucking coasters. She's my patty tried for a little while, but we broke her. We ruined everything eventually. Yeah. But we had a couch in my apartment when I lived on Second Avenue back in the day.

The one side went, the one peg went, that got a couple of phone books put underneath it. The back one went, that got like a couple of textbooks or whatever was back there. Then eventually, once two of them break, you just get rid of those things all together and the couch was on the ground. They got a low rider.

Throw some hydraulics on this thing, really stunts. Which for a little while is like getting a new couch. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's why I was never allowed, obviously to have my bed on the floor, but I did think that was pretty cool.

Like in high school, if like kids show up that. It's a little like, yeah, like, not devious as the, but like a little edgy. You know what I mean? It's something cool. It's cool. Because you're like, you're not on your like, it's like what like cool guys in their,

when they're 23 do that. Yeah. And as a teenager, you want to be a cool 23 year old. Yeah. And I got to do that at a certain point wherever I was living. And I liked it for a little while. It's a little different perspective change.

My boys in college, Pat, Phil X, you know, the whole crew in their house, they had a big couch, right? And I think the legs got busted off of that. So it was like a low rider. And then they found another couch like on the street and brought that into the living room as well. But build it, like put it on like recycling bins

or something. So it was steady. They had stadium seating couches. So you would have like four dudes on the couch up top and then four dudes down the, I mean, Sunday football was wild at that point. That's like something Barstool does. Yeah, it was real fucking cool.

I walked in, I'm like, what the fuck is this? They go stadium couches. I was like, all right. That's, I'm like, get behind it. Guys walking around selling beers. Let me get two. I'll pay you back tomorrow. Who wants a cold one?

Yeah. By the way, that reminds me, those guys selling the beers at the World Series, they knew we were looking to drink a couple of pops. There was three guys just posted up waiting. They would open, I'd be like halfway done. He's like, play it, like lift the backup for me. So I chug it quicker.

I got two more for you. Shout out to the fighting fills. Shout out. All right, let's see. This one's from Juan, $10 homie. Is it garbage to put dirty dishes in a loaded clean dishwasher just to avoid unloading the dishwasher at that moment?

Yes it is, but I respect the move. That this is like a big thing for me. It like depresses me. It feels like I can't, I know for some reason that triggers me as being like a big piece of shit. Yeah. Of not even having like the 12, the 10 seconds, the eight seconds of energy to be like,

I'm gonna put these three cups, these two forks in this one plate away. How long do you think it takes to empty a dishwasher? I was thinking about that this morning. How long? Cause when my mom would ask me to do that when I was a kid, I would rather take the death penalty. Oh my God, dude.

Finding like the lids or the whatever. Same thing with the trash and it just, but then you look back on it, like I do that for now. Sure. Takes a minute, 90 seconds, two minutes, tops. I go home, we leave on Sunday. I drag the trash, you know, drag the cans out to the street, put the cans out,

you know, unload the dishwasher, sweep up this. We cleaned out the garage when I was home on Sunday. And when I was a kid, it was like, this is gonna take me seven years. And it takes about 10 minutes. And you feel great after you do it. Like I have that so bad. I have such an inherent laziness.

No. I'm telling you, I do, but then- You really thought I didn't believe you? I've been dragging you all over the country for fucking 18 months. I'm aware. But then when you do it, it's crazy how much, you're like, God damn, that was nothing.

And you feel great about- Sure, you're accomplishing little things. Crazy. Little things. Have you ever had someone come over to your apartment and hid dirty dishes in the oven? Oh yeah. I'll still put a dirty dish in the oven.

Why would they hide dirty dishes in your oven? No, you hide your dirty dishes in your oven. I thought it was some kind of weird sex thing. I don't know what he's up to over there. Now seems to be getting kinky. I'll do it now and the wife gets real upset about it. You put them in the oven? Uh, it depends.

It depends what it is. Again, I've testified to this many times, straight into the fridge. That's crazy to me. Straight to the fridge. They might go in the fridge. The guest. It's not even a guest thing.

Oh wait. Don't touch that pizza crust. Stay out of the oven from under my bed, will ya? That's right, keep my dildos and my baking sheets. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh man, if you're hiding them under your bed, betterhelp.com. I only started, I only started doing it

where if I make something and it's a me thing. Like if I make something in a pan, right? Reheat something, whatever, and then I don't clean it and I'm like, fuck, I'm leaving the house. It's a mouse thing. Sure, it's a mouse and a roast thing. So it's not like, yeah, so I go, fuck. It's more important.

I'm gonna throw this pan in the oven. Cause you store pans, I store pans in the oven as it is. So like if there's like a frying pan that has like some residual, whatever, cheese or butter or oil on it, just throw it in there until I can come back and clean it. You wanna piss off Patty Foley real bad? Make a couple of Ilios pizzas in the oven.

Leave like crusts of it and stuff like that in the oven in the cookie sheet. Then she rolls in to make dinner, fires up the oven to preheat it and it starts smoking. What the fuck is this? Patty, Patty, I love you, but that's your fault. You gotta get eyes on the oven before you turn it on. What are the goddamn cats in there?

That was, you gotta fucking check, man. You can't just blindly turn on an oven. That's crazy. No way. Can I have my sneakers in there? Yeah, no, that's not. But I, now that we have a dishwasher, that is like, to me it is a point of, to me the kitchen and the dishes

are a point of where I'm at mentally in a moment. But here's the thing. If you wash them twice, if you wash them twice, they're even more clean. No, it's not. I feel like there's a different residue on them because they're too clean. You know what I mean?

They hold the soap a little different. You know if it ran through twice. What are you using by the way? Cause I'm about to be a dishwasher man. Oh, are you? I've been out of the game for a long time. Are you? I haven't had a dishwasher.

Pantene Pro-V. Herbal essences. Ha ha ha ha ha. You think you're done? There's a naked redhead in there. Remember that redhead in the Irish spring commercials? No, the redhead in the, in the- They were all hot.

Herbal essence. Man. God damn it. Well the herbal essence would show they were topless but they would show here up, right? Like they would show the, oh my God. It's always a nice shower. Yeah, it'd be weird if they were in a fucking truck stop.

These are hot broads. They got money. Washington. Washington hair and high fruit, those corn syrup. Yeah. What are you using over there? We are as of recent and I'm pushing back on some of this stuff.

My wife is like a very anti-chemical broad. You want the hard stuff? I want, give me the fucking, you know, give me the cascade, fucking that shit all. That'll take the pain off your car. Dude, that's embedded in our brains. I want that- That cascade works.

I need the chemicals. I need the poison, the carcinogens. That's what cleans a plate. Nothing like that smell when you open up the dishwasher after it's done, that hot steam hitch it with that lemony lime smell or whatever it is. But now we use like a fucking, you know, she's all kind of like organic-y or like less, you know,

the seventh generation type thing. Just like the little John, the little thing. I got that, I got the multi-purpose spray of that. Yeah. That I got to use. The roaches see that and they're like, fuck you. Yeah, pussy. They don't give a shit.

Yeah. They grab it and throw it back at you like a pro-texture. Yeah. Now where's big on all that? And I'm, there's certain things where I'm like, I'm using Kaboom. You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

You can have all the baking soda toothpaste you want. Yeah, but like, I'm coming heavy bike on a couple of two tree things. I'm gonna strap the fucking A-bomb on something. But when I clean the toilet, it's scrubbing bubbles and I'll fight with her in my head. She's just chemical warfare here. Because I'll be cleaning.

She comes in like, you know, we have the fucking, you know, we got that hippie shit. Yeah, no shit. I don't listen, give me the Kami. So I'm cleaning it. I'm using chemicals. No shit. That's what we're doing.

That's scrubbing the shower. My dad's dad used chemicals. His dad used chemicals. His dad was an alcoholic and that's what we do. Take that Petruly shit back to the fucking Grateful Dead parking lot. I'm not fucking using it. Listen, we'll call you on Christmas

when we need the frankincense, all right? Until then, it's gobloom or nothing. But I haven't had a dishwasher now that I'm sitting here thinking about it ever in my adult life. At Titan Street, we had one. You didn't do any dishes. You didn't cook there.

No. Yeah. But the last time you lived in a residence with a dishwasher was- I had to wash my bong in there. Was 11 years ago or something? 12? 12 years ago, I lived in a place that had a dishwasher.

Before that, that shit, patties. Never had a dishwasher. Yeah. It's a game changer. It's a proper game changer. But they're small. I'm gonna sit there and look at it. That's why it's running.

They're real small. Like Tom Hanks can cast away when he's just turning the light on and off. That's the only problem. I did, yesterday, I loaded it yesterday, it was all the shit. I couldn't fit all of our dishes in there. There was like a two tree stragglers out,

you know what I mean? A plate, a cup, whatever, because the tiny little itty bitty ones. But it is what it is. Yeah, that's trash, dude. I don't even know how he's got there. No crates. No.

Putting dirty dishes in a dishwasher when it was clean ones in there. Yes, that was one. Shout out to one. Shout out to you. All right, let's see. This one's from Nick. Have you ever painted over an outlet

and switch plate intentionally? Outlet, what's a switch plate? Like the, that, like they did that one. Oh yeah. New York Landlord's paint over, they'll paint over you if you're standing in the room. Sure, they will. Yeah.

100%, yes, and I've done that. I'm always real shitty, but I'll give you a good 75% of the room will be done well. And then after that, I get real shaky. I don't move the tape. I'm gonna fucking will wing it here. Who needs to tarp down? And I fuck it up.

I only worked with one guy where I had to be on point with that. It was a general contractor. I worked as a side job when I was at the theater. Was all these old houses in Rose Valley, Pennsylvania, real high-end shit, real, real, real ritzy people stuff. And you had to do it right. Like you had like the old wooden doors.

You know, they had like the, you know, they'd be like different wood in the four little, four little pockets. You had to do those a certain way. How to do these a certain way. That's like professional painting. Yeah, real stickler. You paint houses?

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. But if it's my place, just throwing the bucket on the wall. I don't give a fuck. Can't much talk about box awesome. Oh, baby bespoke pose. Love that box awesome. Love that box awesome.

You know what the best part about it is? What's that? The surprise, the unexpected. You get something cool, you open it up. It's like Christmas every single day. Hanukkah, if you will. Yeah, sure. Of course.

Seven crazy nights. That's what the Sandman said. Eight crazy nights. Gang, bespoke pose is absolutely fantastic. They send you cool guy stuff. It's the winter time. Get some cool guy outdoor gear. Get some grooming stuff.

Get some stuff for your home bar. It's all top shelf stuff. And they deal with small businesses. Look at that. Yeah. It's fantastic, baby. I'm a client as well. They send me stuff every month.

It's great. It's stuff you don't know you need until you get it. You go, holy shit. This is what I wanted. Now I'm better. I'm cooler than my friends. I'm cooler than my brother. I'm cooler than my dad.

Take that. Yeah. To get started, just take the quiz at boxofawesome.com here. And so they're going to help them. Pick the right box for you. They release new boxes every month across a ton of different categories. Each box is valued at around 70 bucks.

But you only pay a fraction of that price. Look at that. Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com and other code garbage at checkout. That's boxofawesome.com. Code garbage for 20% off your first box. Boxofawesome.com, code garbage, do it.

Kim, let's talk about Mint Mobile. I love that Mint Mobile. Yeah, you know it. You know it well. Let's talk about it, gang. Let's talk about getting a three-month contract. They give you what? One month, two months?

What are you, an idiot? Three months, baby. Three months are giving you? They double down. I would get it now because they're going to realize you made a big mistake and then they're going to cancel this crazy promo they got going on there.

They're crazy. On top of all that, they do $15 a month. Jeez. It's insane. $15 a month. You know why? We're on burnies today to that. No, holy cow.

Pack of heaters. That's nuts. That's for a pack of heaters. You lose your phone for a month. I know. That's fantastic. That's a beautiful lifetime right there. Sure.

Gang, do yourself a favor. Get over to Mint Mobile. Stop paying big prices at big people. Yeah. What's going on? Guys, my family, my lady's been using Mint Mobile. It's fantastic. She got it when she came over here.

Just signed up. It's easy peasy. Do it all online. It's on the right to your door. By the bang, by the boom, you throw it in your phone. You're out the God darn door. There you go. Or if you need a new device for a limited time,

you get six months free when you sign up and buy a select device and plan. Really? For a limited time, you buy any three month Mint Mobile plan like the big man said. You get three months for free by going to mintmobile.com. That's garbage.

That's mintmobile.com. That's garbage. Cut your wireless bill to 15 beans a month at mintmobile.com. That's garbage. Now, back to the show. Yeah, I fucking hate painting. It's like, it does scratch that itch of like the OCD

and like the bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. But after a while, I'm like, this fucking sucks. Brutal. Handle that. Up and down a ladder. That and handle and drywall. The drywall used to just, it's like chalk on nails to me. You get fucking drywall boogies too.

Fucking drywall boogies are, it's like fucking quick read up there. Yeah. It's real bad. Insulation boogers, I don't mind. You really get a good cough with that. Cough, you cough it up. I had that real bad when I was in college.

We were wiring a high school. One of my cousins had a job wiring high school and they had to use a certain amount of non-union people. Yeah. And we got to go up into the drop ceilings or whatever it was and pull the wire through. And all that insulation was up there. That'll get you.

Yeah, I was hacking that up all summer. Nah, that's no good. Sure, that'll get me. I get plane bugs real bad. Airplane. Oh, man. Couple of stingers. Huh.

I pee a lot on the plane. One to stretch the legs. Two, I pee a lot. Three, clean out the fucking back cave. The older I get, the more I appreciate. You know, in a movie, when you see a guy walking, something's going on, he walks into the bathroom and he splashes cold water on his face, washes his face.

The older I get, the more I get that. So funny you say that. Man, me too, right? I'm right there with you. Go in, blow your nose, get your freshen up your face. You know what? I always think about, I think it was in the gladiator after that first battle, not before he was like the guy.

Oh, I know what you're talking about. When he washed his hand, when he did that. And they have rose hips or whatever in there, like rose petals and all. And he does this on the back of his neck. And man, he just washes away the day. That's what that does, dude. That clears out all the bad thoughts.

Wash that murder right off. Yeah, that raping and pillaging's all gone. With a little cool water to the back of the neck, dude. Little cucumber water. Oh, man. I do that one. Take away the genocide, you know what I mean? I do that when I come home.

Like, we're in here for a long, you know, if we're like, if we're in here cranking out apps, you're just like, your head's all cooking, you're sitting in traffic on the way home, I get home. And that, and when Alec Baldwin in the depart, it puts his face in the bowl of ice. Dude, I did that. And blows, it's all right.

Here's the thing, I did that all the time when I was waiting tables and I'd stay up all night reading. Ha ha ha ha ha. Doing protein bars. And I would, I would get to, I would get to the restaurant and I would be like, literally, you feel like you're dying. Yeah. It's like, you can't even place it.

It's, it's nervousness. It's sleep. You're just so tight. Your body's run down. Your emotions are run down. You're on drugs. I get it. Sorry, I'm late.

I have my nose in a Colombian bestseller. Ha ha ha ha. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I was reading the love and the time of, love and the time of cholera. It doesn't work. You can, it only has limited powers. I'll put it that way.

You can't, you can't. I mean, it's not going to turn around a nine day vendor. 10 years of fucking drug addiction and horrible anxiety ain't going to be turned around with one puff and ice and ice water. But it does feel good. Yeah. I'm fucking with those cold showers more and more, too.

Uh-huh. Got to pay the gas bill. Don't ever get me. The more and more I read about it with the circulation. Sure, of course. Yeah. Wow. That, you know what else I do?

I got bad feet. My feet hurt a lot. Ha ha ha ha ha. Kids got bad dogs. My dogs are marketing. Girls, he's a looker, huh? Oh yeah, I got bad feet. We all got bad feet.

Oh yeah. I got bad feet. My feet are bad. My dad had bad feet. My uncle's had bad feet. Everybody's got bad feet. It's wearing on me more as of, as of recent. You know, the past six months, eight months or whatever.

Bad feet. I feel like I'm going flat foot or something. So that, I don't know if I ever told you this. I bought ice- You ain't going to fight the Jerry's, huh? You got flat feet. I bought ice socks. Ice socks.

Yeah, you put them in the freezer. You put them in the freezer and then after a long day, you put them on and you just like sit there. It's like ice packs, but socks. How do you get them on if they're frozen? And how do you get them over your bunions, Gladys? They're like elastic. I imagine like a, you know, a spandex type ice,

I don't know, Toby Google ice sock. I don't know what to tell you. Man, never do I feel more old than like an old lady. Really? Than rocking my purple ice socks. They're like- Can you walk around in them? I wouldn't know.

They don't advise it, but yeah. So you sit with your feet up and watch your program. Yeah, you could say that. Hansi licks them. They look like- God damn it. They look like swimshoes. Yeah, send me what you said.

Yeah, exactly. They're a little, send me what you're looking at. And I'll let you know if that's a- That's wild. Yikes. I have those leg things, those leg compressions, things that go all the way up. Ladies, relax out there, huh?

We're both really fucking cooking. Girls, put your head in some ice or something like that. Yeah, this is very similar. This is probably, yeah, this is very similar. There's like ice packs on the bottom. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. There's ice packs on the bottom. The manly color is real nice.

What is that? Mint? A sharcher? Well, this may surprise you, but they are in stock. Really? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Only two left. Find out.

Right, my ice socks. Holy shit. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. They're probably nice though, probably feels really good. That feels fantastic, man. That's like what you wear when you survey volcanoes.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Well listen, that's my version of wiping my neck off, okay? Kippy just stands on two frozen steaks. Falls of mouth for dinner. Ah, that's all right. Now you gotta do that shit, man. You gotta take care of yourself. We running around this goddamn country.

It's the same thing going back to in the beginning with the dry skin, the moisturizer, all that stuff. The older you get, the more you gotta, you get into those little routines. I know. That I've neglected, we've neglected for so long. That's why you got bad feet. That's why I got bad tootsies.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, I mean, it is what it is. Also, you know, I'm a bigger guy running around, fucking knees go, shin splints, the whole nine yards. Ice socks. I'm telling you, you gotta get hot socks. Ha, ha, ha, that's where it's at. Something you can cook a panini on.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, put my ice glasses on, pull my eyes. Eh! Oh, Jermon, we had one, my mom had one of those, like the ice mask. Oh, of course. Yeah, it's the same thing, but for your tootsies. Yeah, of course, of course.

Listen, if you've ever used ice socks out there, hit me up. I can't be the only one. Ice socks. Hot ice. That's a good time. That's a good time. Don't judge me.

All right, let's keep it moving. Why is this all, you know, what's this shit on Kippy Day? This one's from Paul Beehe. Uh, is it garbage or smoke? Bong rips of straight tobacco. I break apart American spirits, like if five to six hits per Bernie. No.

That's crazy. That's disgusting. Who needs a Bernie that fucking heavy bike coming in? I just meant the American spirits part. Take a Marv light all day. No, that's brutal. And I don't like it when, when people mix in,

I don't like spliffs or whatever they're called and people mix in tobacco in the good stuff. What's that do? It just makes it burn longer or something? I don't fucking, it makes me sick to my stomach and look like an idiot in front of chicks. That's what it does. I turn green.

Especially when they don't fucking tell you. They get fucking like, before we try to get a tough guy, four monsters and they're like, Oh dude, take it easy. There's tobacco in there. It's like, what the fuck? Then you're all puke.

I hate that shit. I don't get it cause you love tobacco. Man, I don't like that. No. I like the hot side hot and the cool side cool. You know what I'm saying? Try Isox. I've seen a friend or two do a binger stinger in my day.

A binger stinger. It doesn't make sense to me. Oh, how is that enjoyable? At a what? Like, why would you just smoke the sig? It's your dirt bag. A lot of times it'll mix weed in. Like it's what?

I'll give you that. I remember back in the day. I got the impression that he was, he was rounding up scroungers. He was rounding up dead soldiers, taking their boots. He says I break apart American spirit. A fresh one?

That's what, that's my interpretation of it. This guy's bonkers. He would, I think he would then say, I take the butts and fucking that I get. That'll give you a good fucking, if you're taking the butts all day long, I've been jammed up my friend. But if you're breaking open a pure American spirit,

the slap in the face of the Native Americans all over this goddamn country. Smoked the sig like it was intended. Are American spirits a Native American company? Give that a goog. I believe so. It better be, otherwise I'm suing. I think they own 5% of it or something like that.

Five, that's it? It's something crazy. Come on. Or no, they own 5% of the market. If I remember correctly, this could be bad facts I heard at one point. I like that. I like bad facts.

It's just bad facts with kippy and ice. It's just bad facts and ice socks. Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company Incorporated in parent company Reynolds American. Ooh, yikes, so no. I don't think so. They're parent company, but the subsidiary might be whatever.

There's some sort of connection. It hopes so. Either way, I remember back in the day, I saw a kid, we were in the woods smoking burnies, like you do, was like a 13 year old or whatever. But don't you kids smoke out there? No, I don't smoke it. This is a, you know, it's bad for you.

It's bad for you. But this kid put one sig, one lit sig in each finger hole. You know what I mean? So he had four sigs like that and then went like this. Man, it smoked four at a time. Wow. Man. That's when I realized that wasn't a man.

How did he do that at, where'd he go? Duke Chapel Hill, where'd he go? He's no longer with us. Jesus Christ, man, that's cool. Smoking multiple sigs at a time. You got to respect the ingenuity. Anything like that to impress your friends. Oh, back into the 13?

What is showing on my asshole? No Native American ownership in any part of the American spirit, just marketing. Damn. Wow. I bet you a camel doesn't even own camels. Wet in their beak. All right, let's see here.

This one's from Brian. Never have one read. Is it garbage? You consistently have your car, have a car for sale in your front yard. Yeah. That's, unless you got good foot traffic. Yeah.

It makes sense. Yeah, some of the move. If you're in a cul-de-sac, that's bad. Some of the move. There's a neighborhood near me that's on, the back of the neighborhood is on a. Main road or something. Somewhat of a main road.

A bigger. Yeah. You know what I mean? And there's a line of pine trees. People. Oh, that's a perfect postal spot. They'll stick them out there. So it's not really in the front yard.

It's kind of in the backyard. Do you think they wet their beaks on that a little bit? I think they probably have something worked out. I don't think it's, unless this guy just has nine million cars to sell, there's one every few months. Probably give me 200 bucks, 250. You could put it back.

You could use my real estate. That, I don't mind. Everybody wins in that. You move some merchandise, fucking hell, a landowner wets his beak. And I don't know. Somebody gets a new ride. I don't know how it is now,

but as a kid, that was a little more of a legitimate thing, buying a car off of somebody. I bought the car off of them. Cause I remember us looking for a new car at one point and exclusively, that's what we were. Driving around the neighborhoods. That's what we were hitting.

Sure. We weren't going to the fucking, you know, you know, Zaleski auto or anything like that. You know, Zaleski Ford. We were going around. He had the newspaper. Ah, talk to this guy. The newspaper was big.

You could move some merchandise in a class in the auto sales classifieds. And I remember just sitting in the, pull up to the house. My dad, you gotta stay here. Don't say it. Everybody shut up. How much you want for that hunky shit in the front yard?

My dad would get out, meet the guy halfway up the driveway. We'd be sitting in the car like fucking, like the clampets. Just, I remember just thinking to myself like, damn, we stink. And just knowing it. I was okay with it.

But I was like, man, we stink. We're in the car. If I can look in, he's gonna give us a car. Good times. I told you, but when I moved up to New York, that was my big cash grab was going to be to sell the Montego.

And I posted up at my boy Vinny with the skinny. Had a, had a real high traffic corner lot. A lot of walking traffic. For his work. Let's post, let's throw that out in the, out of the side yard. Let's get some eyes on a T go. Let me wet my beak a little bit.

Man, that did not move. Really? What were you asking? 18-5? What were you trying to do? I had finance that too. I do in house finance. She wrote down today.

You was low on the money. Just give me 180 every month. For 36 months. That would have been bad. Send me a G hot every month. Cover my rent. Yeah. No, never. I think we're asking like five grand.

I think Kelly blue book like top of the line was like five, you know, 5,500. I was asking five. It just says OBL. Yeah. Give me something. I'm tanking up here. That's trash. Yeah.

I remember, I remember seeing as is on a Wrangler as a kid and I go, dad, what does as is mean? Like it was like written on the back, like or like the back windshield or what, you know, like 1,500 bucks as is. And yeah, I go, what's a car mean as is it? Cause that's a car you don't want to buy. All right. That makes sense.

Because you buy all the problem to go. Something wrong with it. He was pushing it down the street. There's no wheels on it. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Shan, Shan McGrath. As it's spelled, can I ask? S E A.

Nice. What's the trash here? I have a couple of both in my family. I have some H, some H A dubs. And I have some S E N. S E A N. Is the traditional Irish spelling. Okay. Yeah.

Sean S H A W N. Carbaggio. Well, don't let them, my cousins. I got a couple of dubs in there. There you go. Is that trashy? There's a couple of, actually, I think it's just Kevin. There's two Kevin cousins in my family.

What are you, who are you named after? I guess my cousin. He's three weeks older than you. The sisters hated each other. I'm not named after anybody. My older cousin. You have to be. I'm not.

They just pulled Kevin out of the air. I guess they liked it. My dad used to pick names. I remember when he was picking my younger brother's names. By how they would say, this is real trash. He just came to me. How they would announce is a baseball announcement. Dude, I fucking loved that.

Next up, Mike Ryan. And I was like, ah, that's pretty good. Not bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now batting. Number 38, Michael Ryan. Yeah, that's good. That's good.

That's what he would do. So I guess he probably did some sort of dirtbag thing like that, you know. That's pretty good. Famous comedian, Kevin Ryan. Her quarterback. Her quarterback. Yeah, his name.

Ryan drops back. Oh, sacked at the five-year high. Broken leg. Gonna have to put him down. I think he's crying, folks. McMullen, it's pretty good. McMullen. You're a water boy.

No, no, here we are. Here we are at St. Andrews. We're on the 90. McMullen steps up. No, it's his last name. Do you know what his name is? Toby. Yeah.

Yes, he would say that to get the flow of the name would be Toby McMullen. Toby McMullen's a good golfer name. That's something. Toby's not a golfer. Yes, it is. Everybody would get behind Toby. Thomas McMullen, on the other hand.

Bleep that. I'm sorry. Got warrants, dude. I like how you're the one. I mean, yeah, his name's totally Toby. You're the one beeping it. Beep that. Hey, Toby, got that.

Now, Toby McMullen would be a good golfer. I don't, Toby's not a strong name. I can see Toby McMullen having a really big run at like the U.S. Open or like one of those big tournaments like Toby, like Lin Sanity, I could see that. He'd be a caddy, maybe. Toby McMullen on the ladies tour. Can the kid have a dream?

What are you doing? What are you, what are you a stepdad? Take it easy. Toby McMullen is the mascot of a soccer team that's a real dog. Yeah, exactly. Like a real bulldog. That would be Toby McMuffin.

All right, fine. I tried to give you a shot of playing golf. The kid stings. You're fumbling all over the place. What do you mean? Nine interceptions. Oh, that's a fumbling. Kevin Ryan, worst quarterback in the NFL.

But no, that's a really cool name. That's the way you think of it. But is that trashy? Yes. To have two Kevin's. If you played football, your nickname would be the jumbotron. Have you looked at his belly button?

Here comes the stadium, folks. Give it up for the parking lot, gang. You're talking about me, right? Oh, yeah. Fair enough. It would depend. I would need to know a little bit more where Kevin comes from.

If you guys have like a great grandfather named Kevin. There's no, there's no, there's no significant Kevin. And these two families talk, right? Who was born first? He was. Different last names, though. Different last names, different middle names. And we're about 15 years apart, maybe?

12 years apart? 12 years apart. I mean, yeah, that's okay. I don't know. Out of the Italians. Doesn't feel okay. The Italians are different because they altered a middle name

and that's like their legacy. You got Johnny, Frankie, you know. John Francis. Tony. John Peter, yeah, that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The Italians, they, you know.

They're 30 people. What do you want from them? They use six names. Six names. He's Guido's. We like it. What? They use six names.

They keep it real tight. The Irish, too, I guess. Huh. Trying to think if I have that. It's all like saints. It's all Catholic shit. I have multiple Patricks in my family, but different generations.

That's different, though. I mean, Bob's same generation, Kevin. Yeah. It's a tough look. It doesn't feel classy. No. Hmm. You know what I mean?

Yeah, we're big on the, the maiden name. If the female is a member of our family and she marries somebody else, obviously, and takes their name, their firstborn will probably have her last name. Does that make sense? As a first name or a middle name?

As a first name. Like, for example, if a Ryan, which we have a section of Ryan's in our family. Yeah, but Ryan's not fair, because that's also a first name. Okay. You see what I mean? Okay.

So you'd have like Foley Jenkins? There would have to be, there was, there's a borderline. McMullen Smith. I get the middle name. We do that. We'll do that as the middle name. Okay.

Like, there's like, you know, yeah, I have. If it works, yeah, not Jenkins. You know what I mean? There's something like that. So it's kind of like two last names a little bit. A little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

There's a... It's dirtbag lineage, but... Yeah. It flows. It flows. If it flows, that's perfect. If it flows, we're using it. In honor of that side of the family.

Yeah. We did have a layer of cousins. Bean dip. Layer of hoagie dip. We did have a layer of cousins that went real wonky with the real Irish names. I like that. Yeah, like Ronan's and Declan's and stuff.

And I like when the Italians stick it real close. I like that shit. Kick rocks with that. Ah, I love it. Wait, would you say Declan? Ronan, Declan. Ronan. Quinn.

Quinnie? Uh-huh. What? Shout out to Quinnie. Quinn's all right. Quinn's a professional soccer player. Shout out to Philadelphia Union. There you go.

Yeah. That's his first name? Yeah. That's pretty cool. Quinn Sullivan. Ooh. He's a stud too. Damn.

Look, kid. That's all right. 17 got light by the balls. See, that rolls off the tongue. That's no Toby McMullen. Third string caddy on the fucking LPGA door. And cabin. There's a cabin as well.

Cabin's pretty good. Columns good. Collie T. Yeah, but he goes by Collie. I know. But the name Columns. That's a good Irish name. Sounds like too much like Gollum.

That's why every time I hear Collum, that's what I picture. Somebody asking for a ring or see what's in my pockets. Shout out to Collie T. Let's do one more thing. We gotta get out of here. We didn't even get to it. From Sean, which started the whole goddamn dirtbag name

thing, have you ever used a cake cup to make more than one cup of coffee? I haven't. It comes out a little thin on the second one. I didn't think it worked. Yeah. Doesn't it know it has a hole in it? No.

It just pokes another hole. Oh, really? It just runs it back. And it looks the same. If you're not like. It's like tea. I've had left it in there and then went to like, you know, two hours later, went back to get another one.

Didn't realize I didn't put it in. Man. And it looks all right. It passes the eye test, typically. It does not pass the flavor test at things. You'll get a little buzz. You'll get a little caffeine out of it. I've done that with regular pots of coffee.

Oh, rerun the ground. I've done it with a French press. Run that back like the remix. I've done it with a French press. When you're out at, when I'm out of coffee and it's the winter time. The French press. I'm not walking to the corner.

The French press, you can get away with that. You just use half of the water that you used the first time and you really gotta get it hot and you're really gotta let it sit there for a bit. It's got a half life. You got to start doing math on it. You got to steep that shit. But we got to wrap it up, gang.

What a fun one. Gang, we love you to death. Uh-huh. And we'll see you next week. Peace.