Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - If You Have Mice You're Trash w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: August 5, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with a hot one! Kippy shares the hardship of having mice in in his house and then the two answer your garbage questions. Thanks for listening. We fucking love youse guys.  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Holy boncos kids, look out. The keep it moving tour is adding new dates. We're coming to a city near you. Come and see us, some stand up. And we play AYG at the end of the show with the crowd. We answer your garbage questions. We've got some trash so far, but I know. I know there's deeper garbage out there around the country.

So come on out and see us. Kippy, tell them what they need to know. Oh, baby, we're all over the place. Providence, Rhode Island, August 11th. Boston, Massachusetts, August 12th. New Brunswick, New Jersey, August 25th. Down the- Tomatoes. Timonium, Maryland, Magoobies, August 26th.

Couple of crabs. Then we're going to Tejas, baby. Uh-oh. September 21st will be in San Antonio, Texas. September 22nd will be in Houston, Texas. September 23rd through the 25th, Austin, Texas for the Moontower Comedy Festival. Look out.

And I ain't done yet. August 26th will be at Dallas, Fort Worth, Texas. What? Then we're bringing it back to Long Island, baby. What? In September 30th. And then we're coming home. The boys are cut.

The chickens are coming home to roost, baby. October 27th, we're going to be in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. And then back down to Tejas, November 5th through the 7th for Skankfest South. Get those tickets. The link will be in the description. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?

The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? God damn it. Sure is.

Pussies. It's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they grew up to be classy or if they're just big old pieces of trash. I'm your host, H Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Entity's basement. I saw some Christmas lights going up in the back patio

outside. And I saw a fresh tray of jello shots in the fridge. So we're going to have to make ourselves scarce tonight. Is it somebody's birthday or something? I don't know what it is. She's having some of the girls over. And this and that. They were talking about getting a male stripper,

so it might not be anything we want to be around for. Keep on you available. Stripping at a Christmas and July party? Sign me up, dude. I mean, I'm all for a male stripper, but not around those bozos. Yeah. You know, her and the girls getting

cigarette burns on the guy. Oh, and Nichols at this poor bastard. Down be a pussy. Come on, get over here. Let me see your asshole. I think that Rogan bumps going to her head. So we got to go to a movie or something like that. And just, you know, just to get out of the house.

We don't want to be around for that. Come back late. Maybe take a peek. Come back late night. See what I'm saying. See who's the straggler? See who's still hanging around. See who's still hanging around.

I want to party late night. See if there's still any onion dip left. Yeah, I'm not here for the matinee. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. It's a family episode. Just us today, gang. Just the boys. We're locking the doors.

We're turning down the blinds. We're taking the night off. It's just the gang. The way we like it, because we love you. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Hey, gang. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate,

you subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. And as you know, those numbers are true to roof. True to the fucking roof, baby. And then patreon.com. You heard it once. You heard it twice. Everything nice. Cooking.

Patreon.com slash R U Garb. You get bonus episodes of AYG. You get to smash it in a year. Hard feelings. Man. Going to Cannes next year. Going to Cannes. The pod behind the pod.

The James Cannes Film Festival. Now, we're not going to France. This one's a newer. The Scott Cannes film. First day, he will film this. Just reruns on entourage. Still pretty good, though. Just the fifth season or whatever.

Just the episodes he's in. Guys, patreon.com, you sign up. You get bonus episodes of AYG. Episodes of hard feelings. And every month, we play live stream with it. We play AYG with the top tier listeners. Top tier patrons. It's a good fucking time.

Getting involved. Also, a live show. Come out and see a fucking live show. Plenty of opportunities to see that. Plenty of opportunities to come, hang at the live show. The live show is a little bit of stand up. Then we take questions from the audience to close out the show.

It's a great fucking time. Having a good time. And how about a nice shout out to our producer, extraordinaire. Who's that? It's kind of like a little brother around here. Yeah. T-Bone McMuffin.

Toby McMullen. So insulting. He didn't like that. He did. He's like a little brother around here with a bigger dick. Peers, for the most part. Stop dressing like you're about to cut the lawn. All right.

All right. Shit. Take the fucking wrist rocket out of your back pocket, Jimmy. All right. How you feeling, T-Bone? Get yourself a pair of trousers. All right. Go to work.

You're all hairy legs. Your legs are all hairy. You have leg hair like that? Not like that. That's like, that looks like they got wet and you're rolled around in a barber shop. I thought you were going to rob in Williams over here. Yeah, that's a tough look.

You shouldn't have thigh hair that thick. Yeah, it's a tough look. I got, I'm patchy. I got nothing. Really? Oh, it's bad. No leg hair. Those two things on you that are good, though.

Can we shoot you straight there? Yeah. Besides the hair, you've got to go ahead of hair. I've got to go ahead of hair. Good eyes. That's about it. My feet aren't that bad to be honest with you. Yeah, what size are those eyes?

Let me check the skin tags. Skin tags, man. Hate them. Skin tags, and I'm getting like, it's from the pre-diabetes. It's like a ring around my neck. It's a dark ring around my neck. Yeah, I've seen it.

Yeah, that's a tough look on a fat guy. Yeah. Yeah, it looks like the back of my head is eating the back of my head. I've seen it, yeah. It looks like you bronze that part of your neck. Anywho. I'm doing great, by the way.

Hey, you look good, buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real quick, go follow the RU Garbage Instagram page. Please. We unlocked the swipe up feature at 10K. We're like 100 people away. Go make us do it. Yeah, start swiping up.

Now, can I swipe up when I share it? No. Really? Really. So I got no swipe up capabilities. So you get the 10K. Because you know, they don't give me the keys to the AYG. What are you?

Of course. Remember, that almost ended up. The fact that I wouldn't give him the login to the Instagram. Were you around for that? Was that pre-Toby? That might have been pre-Toby. That almost ended the pod.

Do you remember that? You called me at like 7 AM one morning. Give me the password. Give me the codes. Give me the pay. I want to respond to comments. Because you don't always share the stories. I think I'm doing a pretty good job.

You're doing OK. Yeah, you on the other hand. You're doing all right. Turn you in. Turn you in and get two finances. Two finances and another McMuffin. I'm worth it. I'm worth it.

Nickel in Michigan. I'm still going to refund. You got my deposit back on this guy. Gang, a fucking family app. We're going to be answering your questions, as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon. We'll ask your questions on the air. Yeah.

Got a bunch of them. Got a bunch of them. Trying to get through them. Trying to get through them. Couple of bangers. Love yous. Also pulled a couple from that Facebook group. Because that Facebook group's cooking.

Wild. Let's fucking let's. That was very yawning. I did it was. I got it. I just fucking. And you hit Chris D with the wild. Just history I hemisia.

Yeah, we're like opening franchises. We're cooking all over the place. Yeah, the Facebook's cooking. That Facebook group is something else. They're funny, man. They're funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're real funny.

It's a good time. So check that out. Check that out too while you're fucking at it, dog. All right, we want to just fucking hop in. I want to hop in. I want to hop in. Let's get through some questions. Well, yes.

Stop business. This just popped into my head too. I forgot. I don't know how garbage this is, but it's making me think. I got worms. I got we got mice. I got a mouse in the house. Jesus.

Which happened, we never on the sixth floor too. That thing's taking the fucking elevator every day. I don't know how he's getting in the fucking building. It's got a skull cap and a grappling hook. Who's buzzing this guy in? God damn. Fucking Stuart Little over there. Every other, I think is what happened.

They were in the other floors. We never had it. We never had an issue. I'm the sixth fucking floor. You know, every dirt bag that has mice or bugs says that. We never had it. We never had it. I'm telling you, never.

You're trash. Never saw droppings. Probably pizza boxes everywhere. It's all the goldfish you got everywhere. Yeah, they don't say they don't last that long. The goldfish, they go quick. Shout out to the Pepperidge Farm Company. See, I thought regular goldfish.

Yeah, because you're out all lunch. Flopper. This guy's in left field with an hockey stick. How long have you had them? Because I'm an expert in pest control. You name it, I've had it. He's been a pest his whole life. Out of control.

I lived with the family for eight months. They couldn't get rid of me. I've been with you for 10 years. Hey, glue traps all over my house. I tell you what, those glue traps, man, I don't like them. This is just a humane Foley trap I have you in right now. You put some peanut butter in the above ground pool, you'll catch a Foley.

To other apartments, we have friends like he's about to build in, and they've had them. We never had them. And they've gotten rid of them. So I think a lot of people that had them are pushing them out. Yeah, no shit, they gave me your address, dumbass. Yeah, I just pushed them into our, like I think other people who had them fucking

got rid of them or scared them away. And now they're just like descending upon fucking, upon my apartment. Do you know where they're coming from? Is there a hole anywhere? I mean, yeah, we just got that little half circle in the front door to let them in. Maybe that's where they're coming in.

Oh, come here. He's got a sombrero. No, yeah, there's no visual. The lady said she saw one when we were in Ohio last week. She said she saw one. She's like, I saw one. Who's the lady? Oh, your wife.

Who the fuck would do lady day? You said the lady. I felt like there was a lady staying in your house while you guys were away. I don't know. I don't know what you two get up to up there. What's more probable? The lady is my wife, or the lady is a lady.

I'm paying to stay in my apartment. I don't deal in probable. I deal in the outlandish. I mean, that is the that's on your tombstone. Yeah. And I'm glad you are accepting that more and more. You're accepting the fact that you are used to fight me on it. Now you're going, yeah, maybe I am crazy.

Let's keep moving. And I love that. Straight crazy, baby. That's your first apple. Straight crazy, baby. Straight out of crazy. Now, back to my situation you have going on, Kevin. Listen, Pinhead, you have the, you have the,

I don't like this. You have the, I say you straight. You can't throw water at you, dude. It's not holy water, is it? Maybe clean the back of your neck off. They said apple cider vinegar. That's what you want to do. Barbecue sauce.

Yeah, let me just try a wet nap, Fattie. What? You could have pipes. Do you have, do you have any steam? No water in the whole building. No, do you have steam pipes in your building? I'm sorry, in your apartment. I'm going somewhere with this.

Yeah. Now, at the base of that, is there a coupling? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there any hole in anything? No, it's covered, yeah, yeah. Everything's covered? That's the second thing called. It begins with an F, I forget, but yeah.

Flange. No. Farser. No, farser? Farser. You don't know a farser? Yeah, OK. I would check all, you got to check all that shit out.

I know, well this is. Stuff them with Brillo pads. Then you go to war. Yeah, then it's like one man in one man out. Yeah, last man standing leaves. And it ain't, I ain't going, OK? Dude, fully naked with a headlamp, work gloves, and a fucking spatula.

Yeah, going after him. Why do I got to be naked? Because you're a freak. Well, sexual fantasy, or anything. Sexualize me. But the other night, I was laying. Wait, what? What?

Go ahead. You finding poop everywhere? No, no. So she said she saw him, that was like a week ago. And I'm like. Saw what? One mouse. Yeah, she goes, I saw a mouse running the hallway.

And I'm like, all right. Maybe he was passed, because I've never seen droppings, no nothing, no. He's passing through? I don't know. I mean, like, they're not, I there's no. Say ratatouille. There's no sign that they're living.

I'm not saying I'm not finding droppings or anything. They didn't unpack their bags. No mail? Whose water bill is this? Who's ordering Amazon? Who's ordering cheese via Amazon? Big wheel of Parmesan cheese. That's good stuff.

No. But yeah, so I've seen no indication other than she said she's seen one. I'm checking the drawer. You check everything, right? Nothing. So then the other night, and I kind of forgotten about it, because I'm also like, this isn't an issue.

I'm not seeing them. I'm not seeing droppings, whatever. Few of one. They're cute. Well, the other night I was. But then I'm thinking it's like it's maybe like 1.30 in the morning in the kitchen. And I think I see one.

I'm going, there's no way. I think I think I've made that up in my head. This guy's living in your head rent free. Oh yeah, dude, I got fucking. It's like mousetrap going on in my fucking head. I just love mousetrap. There was another one called Flying Finnegans. But it might have been before you.

I'm just the drunk Ivers guys next door. Hi, you. 1.30 in the morning, you're in the kitchen. What are you getting, a little late night snack, Fatty? What was I doing in there? Nothing good. I might have been cleaning. I might have just been putting some stuff away,

at 1.30? Yeah. I mean, I'm not like doing the dishes, but like if there was like anything, you know, I don't know, just straightening the counter. I think I was wiping down the counter because in my head I'm like, oh, there might be a fucking. And now I'm thinking about it.

Do you keep any food on the counter? No. Any food on top of the refrigerator? Maybe some produce. Like our produce on top of the fridge, you know. Do mice like onions? Because if they do, we got a problem. I bought them in bulk.

Holy shit, I'm telling you that. So I think I see them. I'm going like, but like in my head I go, I think I just like made that up because like he where I thought he was running, I would have salt. Like he, I think I just made up it in my head. Like I just, whatever.

So then two nights later, this was like two nights ago, last night, whatever it was. I'm laying on the- You heard a TV turn on? Garage door opens up. I'm laying in bed. My wife's like, I'm going to bed. I'm laying on the couch, watching comedians and cars,

get coffee, you know what I mean? Hanging out, shout out to Norm McDonald. That's hotter than a $3 pistol. Good line there, Norm. And you're watching on that computer? On this computer. No TV. No TV.

Okay. Mouse took it. It's in his room. Yeah, he claims to take it. Now, do you lay and put it on your like belly? No. I'll lay on the couch. I don't know why we're getting into this.

I'll let- Cause it's just strange. I also, I understand. I also don't think it's that, it's strange to me that you can't wrap your head around watching something on a laptop. I don't know. In your, yeah, anywhere else, yes,

but in your living room, you should have a television. You're a business owner. You're living like a college kid. Yeah, I have no, I don't have time to watch. If I had a TV that would- And I take a room- I view TVs as a, it's a waste of production time. But you're watching, you wouldn't-

Yeah, but I'm like, like when I'm going to bed or something. The rest of the day, I'm on the computer working. I understand that. For us. Yes, I understand that. So while you're watching your big screen TV with your finger in your asshole, I'm working.

It's my thumb, first of all. I've got other fingers in my belly button. Plug it up. Airtight. I wonder which smells worse. The belly button ain't good. Very asiago. Asiago.

Cheese. Deep. I'm never going to look at you the same. Were you before? What? That doesn't make any sense. I don't know. I literally don't know how to answer.

Bellas, I just figured out how we catch the mouse. Put it in Voli's belly button. We just have you lay down shirtless in the living room. He's not going to be able to climb up that. Well, he'll make base camp and then take the summer to the morn. Another mouse has to lead him up there. A rat leads him up. A little tiny little north face with goggles.

So the other night, I'm fucking laying down. Turn back, man. It's not worth it. Mighty cheese isn't worth it. Little mouse, little goggles on. Little guy. He's got like frost all over his. His whiskers.

He's passing other dead frozen mice. I like that. Little mousey. So I'm laying in bed. You're laying on the couch. Laying on the couch. Just got this all on your laptop. Yeah.

No TV. Yeah. You know, I like doing that. Nice little prop up. Do you lay down shirtless on the couch? Time to time. I like to use this. I, it depends if I'm.

No, it depends if I'm going to bed. Depends what time it is. I tend to wear a sleep shirt. It's a nighty. Something a little more comfortable. I remember I did that for a little while when I was a kid and my dad put the kibosh on it real quick. We're at night.

Well, one of your mom's negligee's or something. Patty, the little ones into the drawer again. I'm pretty sure I put one of her bras on when I was a kid. Homelessness for shits and giggles. I had my cousins with them. They all went away. They used to dress me up as a girl. That's awesome.

They would, all my mom and my aunt would like go out to, go out to dinner or whatever. And like the older girls were supposed to watch me. I think come back, I was dressed up like Madonna and then I had to hide the big cones. Fucking Tootsie over here. Tootsie weekend. I like it.

Now, all my, I was surrounded by female cousins and they all wore long t-shirts to bed. Yeah. You know what I mean? How girls do. So I kind of started doing that. Alfresco. What's Alfresco?

No, I mean. Commandy? All flopping around? Oh, yikes. Feeling sexy. And I think my dad. Get your hair up in a button. I had a set of rollers in.

I'm yapping on the phone. Oh, I got your little feet kicking in the bed. Crossed up. Yeah, and I think my dad saw me one morning wearing it. He was like, you, get upstairs and put some sweatpants. Lose the night in the jellies, will you? Put some sweatpants on and shoot a hundred free throws, will you?

That happened, I didn't, when my brother was younger, I was probably, he was, my brother was probably five. And the same thing, my sister was older, like six or whatever. Yeah, they fucked with you. So, but my mom took them out. My sister was like, got a pair of jellies, right? They were like the, you know, the little things. You're going to fucking tell me, bro.

I was at the forefront of women's fashion in the 80s and 90s. Cousins kept me in the loop. I knew everything that was going on. It's the toughest response to jellies that has ever been said. You got to tell me, bro. I know fucking jokes. But my, I remember the story is my brother was, my mom got my brother a pair because he's like,

he didn't know, he just wanted to, like my sister got them. So he's like, oh, like she got him a pair too. So he, my dad came home. He was playing in the driveway in a pair of like pink jellies. My dad's like, you lose them, shoot. Like, that was like, that was, he's like, I don't give a fuck what you do door to day. I ain't coming home.

My kid ain't wearing jellies. Hey Cinderella, that's good. Where were you, the mouse? Yeah, the mouse was going. I saw him. He fucking scooted across the hallway. Yeah. Hopping real quick.

He's a fucking fast little, he's got a motor on him. That's good to know. Yeah, I don't know if he's made by Seadoo or what, but this guy's fucking cooking. What's the sponsorship situation? I don't know. I don't know if he's with Fox racing or who, but this guy cooks.

What's he doing? He just fucking zipped. Yeah. And I'm like, no, that wasn't him. Cause I don't try to like, I'm like about to pass out. I can't pass out with mouse on the brain. Will you pass out on the couch? I will.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then lumber into the room at some point. It depends on like what time I get up to pay or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Depends. Depends also depends how cold that living room is.

Cause that thing gets fucking baby. A real cold. That thing's on 62. I like it. We put a new one in our bedroom, man. Fucking that thing's just all night. Yeah. Fucking big thick blanket on you.

The blankets all cold. Oh, rolling over. Sometimes it's too cold, I wake up and I'm like, it's too cold. It's like painful. Yeah, it's like artificial air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My sinuses are out of control.

Oh, that's good. Boogers. For the record, there's boogers on his hand. I'm leaking. It's snot. It's different. That's not different. That's bloods, liquid boogers, dude.

Yeah, liquid boogers. It's the same booger. It's like water and ice. Okay, it's the same thing. No, they're two different things. No. Same chemical. Made up of the same material.

Same chemical. They just coughed on your other hand. Yeah. Well, I'm not meeting anybody. Hey, oh, Jesus. Did I have a dream last night that somebody wouldn't shake my hand? Was it me?

No. No one ever should shake your hand. Yeah. If anybody's just watched the last 15 seconds of this episode, no one should ever touch your skin. According to the UN, it's illegal to release you into a war zone. Yeah, like the Wuhan factory.

Factory. Lab, whatever. There you go. Okay, get it right. Booger head, zip it, okay? You are whatever I say you are and you're gross. Booger head, I'm seeing it. All right, let's switch gears.

Let's do a couple of question. So that's it with the mouse, but he's just there? He's just there. I got to take care of him. And the lady, my lady is like, let's get the humane traps. And I want to ice this dude real quick. What?

No, don't do that. I'm a cute little guy. Don't get the glue ones. The glue ones are tough. Plus, I don't think you have the stones to do what's needed to be done. The fuck I don't. I don't know if you do.

I have. What do you mean? I got bodies on me. Yeah, me too, man. From working at restaurants, I used to hate it. First thing in the morning, you come in, have it in a coffee. You're fucking gotta do it.

See, they're him or you, you know? Also, then like with the humane one, I'm not like walking to the fucking park and letting this guy go or whatever. He wouldn't last two seconds out in that park. Two seconds. Rats, fucking, the hawks, the eagles, all that shit. The owls.

We're already a little house of the prairie. Hawks, eagles, owls. They have hawks in Central Park? Yeah, I'm not walking to Central Park. I'm taking them to the local park. Throw them out the fucking six-story window. I don't give a fuck. Get out of my house.

You think you would live if you threw a mouse out a six-story window? What? That'd be like dropping you off the entire state building. What are you talking about? Fortunately, that's insane. No, I thought they'd float down. No, they don't float down.

Do you know what a mouse is or six stories? Do you know what anything is that we're currently talking about? They're light. They're light. They bounce. They bounce. Hey, Dahmer, what the fuck are you doing?

They look at you when you drown them, too. To be perfectly honest, I was trying to think of the dumbest thing I could say to see if I could get you to believe it. Oh, OK. Yeah, no, it would fucking. I mean, what? That's insane.

They look at you when you drown them. I would maybe drown them in the toilet. Oh, my Kevin, don't do that. You can't flush them. Not flush them. I would drown them and then throw them out. What the fuck? Just step on them, man.

Step on them, and the glue trap's going to be on my foot. What are you talking about? Now, I'm stuck. Now, I caught myself. Dude, drowned them. Would you like to be drowned? No, I'm not living in someone else's apartment. What the fuck?

I mean, if I was sneaking around some guy's apartment in the middle of the night when his wife's sleeping, and he caught me and drowned me, I'd understand. He'd have a case. He get what's coming to you. I mean, hey, you make the bed you sleep in. You know what I mean? Just let him go.

Let him go. No, he's going to have babies. They can't just have babies by themselves in the rest of the apartment. Now, he's going to know a party that he's not going to shack up on an apartment. He's going to be pulling tail. Hey, I'm uptown now, doll face.

I got to want bedrooms, sunken living room. Real nice spread. Fucking bozo on a couch. He don't know what's going on. Got to have a TV. I can lose her. Tell the squad to come on up. This place is wild.

This place is prime for the picking. All the onions you can eat, though. Skid states. That's my boss. No TV and a fucking industrial bag of onions in the room. That big commercial burlap sack bag. What's that net he made out of? They're making latkes with the fucks going on.

That's a lot of potatoes. All right. We got a fucking, this thing's fucking goofballs. This one's wonky. All right, guys, this is our you, Gorbitch. Let's go. Quit screwing around. That's funny, guys.

That's everybody fucking shark shape up here, all right? If only pick your nose. Let's get back on track. All right. Oh, this is a perfect one. This is from Chris Scott. Guys, so as you know, when you're doing the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question.

This is from Chris Scott. You or anyone in your family do snot rockets? I mean, you do snot everything else. Every single day. You do a snot, what, in the shower? In the shower, 100%. Yeah, but sometimes I'll just do it in the sun. Right when I wake up, I'm all jammed up.

It's like the Contra Hawk and Curve in there. It's fucking. I'm pushing this thing again. It's tight. Toby, you got that. 10 bucks. Two dick. I'm all jammed up.

So I got to go right into the sink. I stuffed my head. What sink? The kitchen sink or the bathroom sink? No, I'm not an animal. I mean, you're currently talking about blowing snot into a sink that people brush their teeth at. Put my face over the sink.

I'll have to water run and then clean it all off. Get it out. So now when you wake up. Can I see someone doing it on the street? I'm starting to have a serious problem with Alfred, though. I bought one because I was jammed up. And now I notice I'm doing it every couple of days. Your nose literally becomes addicted to it.

Thank you. I was in the ninth grade. I appreciate that. Thank you very much. I'm aware. That's why I'm telling it to my friends that I might have a problem. So we got to send you away or something?

Yeah, after rehab. Yeah. Where does that take place? I don't know. Switching somewhere. Oh, yeah. OK. Ah, that's not a company expense.

What were you going to say, Toby? I forget. But it the. Toby McMullen, ladies and gentlemen. Producer of the stars. It's getting sharp. I'm great at my job. You ever heard of it called a fucking farmer's hankie?

Yeah. Yeah. Anything. That's gross. Yeah, farmers. Yeah, 100%. You got to clean that shit out. Oh, I remember.

OK, so now when you wake up, you're like, you're like, achy and like a normal person makes like some, you know, waking up noises. Sure. Can you imagine the grandfather level noises? The engine getting cooking on him. Oh, my God. You've got to be bad.

You've got to warm her up. Yeah. Thing takes a couple of fucking things, couple of minutes to turn over. Like a pick up in the winter. Let it run. Hey, you got a bad start. Nah, he's got to pump the room.

My girlfriend has to give me a jump. You're fucking electric hooked up to your nips. You're cooking eggs from debuts here. Oh, it's tough. It takes about a good 15 minutes for me to know what's going on. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm pretty good. I'm up a cough, maybe a haka luge, a pee. I'm cooking. I'm all right. There's nothing you don't feel. I like getting up right away. I like going outside, especially in the summer.

You get the fucking nice sun on you, fresh air. Yeah? Yeah. Go get coffee. Shout out to Starbucks. Go out and get a coffee. You don't make coffee in the house, huh? If I can walk, I'll go.

I like fucking starting the day. I like going outside. The city's coming to life a little bit. You know what I mean? It's nice in the morning. The fucking pharmacy is pushing up the fucking brain. Hey, Miss Cameronary. Good to see you.

Hey, Johnny. Hey, Kev, how are you? How's the podcast going, Kev? Pretty good. Well, what a fucking segue. This is from Jamie. If you've got to wear equipment to go to sleep, you're garbage.

Example, ace bandages, sleep apnea machines, or mouthguards. That's kind of geared up for hockey. Five for fight and relax, right? Did you have braces? No. Let me see. Yeah, not bad. I told you I had that separator, the appliance,

where they fucking open up your skull. That was shot at my orthodontist that was in his house. What about you ever have to wear a headgear? Headgear's a tough look at night. Did you have to do it? That was like the biggest boys. That was a South Park thing. Stop looking at my headgears or something.

I wore it two nights. And I was like, there's no fucking way I'm ever going to wear it. Oh, buddy, dude. No, dude, just fucking wire hooked up to your braces. Did you have braces? Yeah, I had braces for like four years because I was so bad with them. They would always, I'd always break them, pop them, fucking

this, that, hanging off. I hated them. My teeth are still jacked up. Let me see. Oh, man. Yeah, didn't do nothing. It's even tough when you're trying to show your teeth to see your teeth.

Well, it's just the way my face is built. Got fat lips. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you looking behind me for? I was looking at Old Foley to see if his lips are fat. He's got big chompers. Yeah, that's, that's garbage. But those sleep apnea machines, man,

I'm still trying to fucking work it out with my doc to get into sleep study. I want one of those. My pop said it'll change your life. Yeah. Fresh sleep. Probably haven't gotten a good night's sleep in five years. You know?

Yeah. I got to get on that. But yeah, that's trash. I thought you were doing a sleep study. What's going on with that? I'm fucking waiting to hear back from my doctor. What's going on with his psycho guy, too? The shrink?

Yeah. Haven't really matched with anybody. Been looking. What do you want, Tinder? What do you mean, matched with anybody? Yeah. All right, let's see. This one's just fucking bonkers to me.

This is from Pat. Haven't had a question read yet. Ever Sharpie, a designer brand logo, i.e. drawing a swoosh on a plain set of socks. And it had a lot of people on the Patreon liking that, which makes me think other people are doing that. Drawing your own swoosh on the socks? Or anything.

You want to draw in a little alligator? You got to have a steady hand, I guess. I know. I would be called out immediately. It's upside down. Yeah, that's garbage. Yeah. Also like, I don't think I need name brand socks that bad.

Never. Go blank socks. Blank all day. I've seen someone white out a fourth stripe on knockoff Adidas. Like on the shoes? Really? Bad look.

Yeah. There's no need for any of that, kids. Be yourselves. Don't worry about that. Listen, Uncle Hank. Let's see. This is a pretty good one. This is from Andrew.

When you get something from a vending machine, do you check to see if the previous person left any change in the coin return? Or do the, yeah, or that was big on like a pay phone. Yeah. I saw some lady do it at a meter the other day. At a what meter? At a parking meter.

She walked by. Yeah. Like some fucking. Street person. No, not even a street person. There's some old. Wasn't a business woman. All dirty lady fucking in Astoria.

She had her shopping cart. Yeah. Checking for coins. Yeah. I mean, I don't do that now. I get it though. I, you know, I have like, I think like my step dad will still like, if he sees a pay phone, he'll like pop in and look.

What? Some people just like the win. They like the win. Yes. It's the same thing as like, you know, jump in the turnstile when it's a mental thing of like, if I don't care what I look like, if I get caught a wins a win.

A wins a win. I do check if somebody leaves a, their receipt form from the ATM in the thing. I always check and see what they got cooked. I started doing that now. Hey, take a look at it. That's Patreon. Take a look at it.

I won't use the C. I should turn around and show the people online. Kids ever see, kids ever see 875 hours, 38 cents. Don't check on Monday. Cause they ain't going to be there. It's just weekend balance.

Yeah. That's a mid month flex. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's before automatic payments flex. Yeah.

No, I see that too. Sometimes you see like these fucking people with like, fucking 15 grand in a checking account. 15. I remember I saw somebody had $250,000 in their checking account. Yeah. It was taking money out of a fucking, at a deli.

Yeah. Where else is he going? I mean, it's not like he's got that at the house. It's crazy. Yeah. I used to think that once you got to a certain level of rich, you started operating in like a whole another world. I think you do.

What do you mean? He was asking you, what do you mean? What do I mean? I mean, what do I mean? What do either one of you mean? What do you mean? That like, you stopped using the regular banking shit. That it was like a whole-

Chase private? Yeah, something, you know? Like you wouldn't go to the local grocery store, there'd be some other upscale, like high end, secret, like Bruce Wayne entrance type deal. Man, you're poor. Yeah, Jesus Christ. I just think there's underground fucking food markets.

No, yeah, you still got to get to, I mean, everybody has an iPhone, regardless if you're a fucking, if you're worth a hundred billion dollars or fucking negative a million dollars, you still have an iPhone. Everybody puts their pants on one leg at a time, Toby. So we're just a little bit hairier.

Bully does it with a 15 minute break between. Get my socks on the pain in the ass, I'll tell you that. Really? You seem like a limber guy. Oh God. I, go ahead. I was trying to figure out how we monetize a video of you putting your socks on. At 3,000 patrons.

I'll do it now. Fully trying to put on a set of roller blades. No shoehorn. Trying to walk in a pair of skis. Oh man. All right, let's see here. This is from Ramiro, is it classy or trashy? Making ice cubes out of flavored drinks.

Orange juice cubes for champagne or Kool-Aid cubes for the kids with Sprite. For champagne. Yeah, I guess if you're doing like a, that's pretty good. I mean, that's the trashiest way to do a mimosa, I think. You freeze the orange juice and then drop it in the champagne.

If you're doing it with- Hold on, I'm sorry. I always thought mimosas were classy. Mimosas are bottom of the barrel trash now. They've become that. Yeah. They've become that. Did they change at some point, right?

In the 90s or 2000? I always just thought champagne was classy. But then we'd do it on like Sundays down the shore. All like, we'll be like making pancakes and they bust out like the $3 bottle of champagne and the fucking drop of canna and we go to town. Bottle of moots or whatever it's called. Brute, yeah.

Andre. Yeah, bottle of Andre and they're making mimosas. Yeah, we'll do it. We'll do a couple of mimosas. I gotta be honest with you. Like a little bit. A little bit. Drinking them out of solo cups.

Yeah, it's tough. I believe the intelligentsia tried to combat that by introducing the Bellini, which would be a little bit more classy. What's that? School me on that thing, man. Perseco. No, it's peach.

Amosa, orange juice. Bellini's peach. Just peach and champagne? Peach, champagne or Perseco? What is Perseco? Perseco and cava are two sparkling white wines. Wine, right. Yeah.

Champagne is only made in Champagne, France. Everything else is sparkling wine. Fucking Snapple Facts, relax, okay? Perseco tends to be a little bit sweeter. Cava's more of a dry profile. You wouldn't really make mimosas or Bellini's with cava. You would make it with Perseco. It has a little bit more sweetness to it.

Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah, once anything is available, any sort of bottomless form. Sure. Yeah. It only takes a hit to the bottom line. Yeah.

Yeah, there's no bottomless black Amix cards going around. It's literally bottomless. Yeah. The whole purpose of a black Amix card. I mean, they're not giving them away. Can't buy them at brunch. I don't even know. I literally don't know what that meant.

There was this place, it's closed now. Closed in during the pandemic, but it was uptown on like 120 Fish Street. It was a big beer garden out there. They had a great kitchen and their brunch, it was bottomless anything. It was bottomless IPAs. Dude, and me and my boy,

we would go and just literally drink like fucking 15. I'd get carried out of that place by like 2PM. It was a fucking scene. Yeah. I'd have like a half of an omelet and then be like puking on the subway. It was fucking tough. That's crazy.

Yeah. And they would give it, because it was a beer garden. So they give you the big fucking, the big, you know, like the fucking 20. How much was the brunch? 40 bucks or something. Damn. They didn't make it, huh?

It was like, you can't believe it. They didn't make it on a brunch, dude. They didn't know what they were up against. I've said it today. I've said it before. I've never met an open bar I haven't beaten. Even like an expensive, all-inclusive weekend, like week somewhere.

What do you mean? I'm getting my money. They're losing money on me. I'm getting you. Two at a time orders? I have two at a time. Give me a fucking, you know, give me like a sex on the beach

with a fucking vodka floater. You know, I'm going all out. I'm doing doubles. Oh yeah, I'm getting you. Give me a sex on the beach with a vodka floater with a tequila floater. With a tequila sunrise floater. I'm taking lobsters back to the room.

I'm doing everything. Kip, he's walking back to his table with the blender. I got a power, I got a power strip at the table. I'm just running three NutriBullets. I'm telling you, you're not gonna, no open bar has ever, I've always wanted an open bar. All right. You know, I've been,

there's been a couple of close calls, but I've always feel I've come victorious. You walk in with a shot ski and a beer pong table. Ready to fucking go. If I was big growing up, we would grow it up in fucking college. The bars and Philly would run like a $20 or $40 two hour open bar or whatever.

And I mean, 40 bucks. You gotta go in there and mean business. Oh yeah, rum and coats. Those bartenders really know how to fucking slow it down too. That's why you know what you do is when you get there, you typically... You drop a dub. Yeah, we didn't have, I mean,

we didn't have that kind of cash in college. I barely have that cash now, but what the rule would be, someone get real estate. Someone always had real estate by the bar, right? Right. So if there was like eight of us, someone was like, there was always one or two people at the bar so you could sneak in and get there.

Typically what you wanna do to optimize your drinking is get someone by the cash register. Cause they always gotta go back to the cash register for people buying drinks. And when you're there, hey, can I get to a more rum and coat about a bar bank? Yeah, fucking stick and move. We were fucking savages.

Got operatives everywhere. Yeah. Have a guy in the kitchen watching the back. I'm telling you, you gotta get up pretty early in the morning to beat me, baby. Gotta do it. You weren't a big open bar guy, were you? What do you mean?

I don't know. I wasn't a big go into the bar guy in college or high school. Never. Too busy getting swirlies. Couldn't get out of my locker. No, in college, I didn't really, I wasn't a fan of going to the bars and stuff like that. Yeah.

You know, the fraternity house or like a... Was in the Pearl Jam and you fucking, you know. Was wrapped up in my... Right poems and stuff. Wrapped up in my music. Oh man. Sunny day, sunny day. What were the lyrics to that again?

Sunny day, sunny day, sunny day, me. Sunny day, sunny day, sunny day, you. That was the chorus. And that was the first song I wrote. All right, bozo. Dude, writing and... How long did it take you to write it? Uh-huh.

Couple heartbreaks. Dude, we were in the car the other day, driving to the studio and fully goes, this song right here, ruined my life for four years. Oh, you are a guy who connects emotion to everything. You know what I mean? Two songs that damage... I haven't eaten veal scampi since she left.

What's the dish? That's a close to it. It was cafe dante. It was my birthday. And the dish was muscles red. Couldn't look at a muscle for three years. Loser you. Now I'm back.

Now the two songs are Solomy by old 97s. I don't know what any of that means. I haven't heard the song or the... I clearly know it's a song by a band. Okay, fucking hey, hey, billboard relax, okay? Jesus Christ. And the other one is Clay Pigeons by Blaze Foley. Brutal.

Wait, Clay Pigeons by Blaze Foley sounds okay. He just happened as the same name as me, Blaze Foley. That you kind of like him because of that though. And if you've never heard him, save yourself some time. They fucking suck ass. Not Blaze Foley, Blaze Foley's top shelf. I doubt it. He doesn't know.

You don't know either to be fair. Suburban mall culture, this kid doesn't know what's going on. That's the premise of this entire show. He's got you there. Fair enough. Foley is like, you know, this is Foley. Foley is the kind of guy who get in the car but like this song rocks or this thing kicks

and it's like this fucking obscure power ballad. And you're like, what the fuck, pop, pop, let's go. Put on someone a fucking with some distortion or something. I'm trying to fucking rock. Throwing the baby, will you? I love that song right now. Do a leap in the baby, levitating. I'll get you going in the club.

What would it take? She's beautiful. Also too, I thought for a Patreon thing and I wanted to get to that because I keep thinking of and keep forgetting to text the group or talk about it with you guys as we should do a day in Wildwood. Sure.

Go down and we do the beach. We could do the fucking boardwalk. Get some footy. Love it. It'd be good. Love it. Family would be down here. No, I'll make sure they're not.

Peace. No, make sure they're not there. Tell her she can hang out. What was that? Tell her she can hang out. Yeah, I think that'll be good though. Tell her she can hang out. Do you want a roller coaster or something?

I don't. Floom. No way. We could fit in a log floom. No. No? Maybe it's a redwood. The redwood log floom.

Me and Toby are riding you. Got the picture of us going over it. I just have my. You're just a fucking chin up. Like Thomas the train. Yeah, I wouldn't fit in a roller coaster. I can't fit in a booth at a diner. I wouldn't fit in a roller coaster.

Yeah, you couldn't fit in an Ohio diner booth. Yeah. At a waffle house. Sure. Shout out to her. He's sliding that booth, smothered and covered. Put a little chili on his belly. He'll get in there.

Rub a little butter on there and get him in there. Oh, god. This one's just crazy, and it's been on there for a while. And I got to get to it. Is it crazy or is it boncos? That's a good one. This one's crazy. OK.

I don't. I mean, I'm assuming this Josiah. I believe I'm pronouncing that right. J-O-S-I-A-H. Sounds good to me. Josiah. Josiah. J-S-I-L-O.

Ever have your dad or grandpa buy oil dip sticks while camping to roast hot dogs? So I guess that's insane to me, but it's been on there a bunch, and I want to get to it. Wouldn't they bend? I don't know. The whole thing is nuts to me. Buying oil dip sticks.

Yeah, I guess you can go to an auto mode. You can go to fucking auto zone and buy a cheap thing, a generic dip sticks. And then again, in theory, it's clean metal. It's not like juice, and you just slip it right in the middle. It makes sense. I wish there was something worse than that. Oh my god.

Coat hanger. Oh. What? That's crazy. One of the nice wooden ones? No. Steal from a hotel? They save a motto on it?

No, it's not bad. The folies are big with hangers. We've used hangers for just about everything. Boosted cars. Now, we always use get a hanger. But we've had those things bent 40 different ways. Oh, yeah. Trying to do something.

Trying to get to Spice Channel. I got a hanger. I got a hanger. I'm trying to tune into Tokyo over here. I got a hanger's tape to my dad's head, kind of up on the roof. And I walked in the back. Take two steps left.

Do you guys see it, Ted? Yeah. That's a tough look. I'm trying to think of we had one for something. A hanger? Yeah. It was like bent. A hanger?

You got a hanger steak? I stepped that does something weird with it. I don't know. I mean, that guy's bonkers. I don't think that's that bad with a hanger for hot dogs, for grilling. But I feel a lot of time that metal is treated or something. There's a coating on it.

And then that starts cooking. That's why the classic garbage line of you got to burn it off first. Anytime you've got to burn it off no matter what it is. That's tough. That was big in my family of like with needles getting like the splinters out or something. I would sit there and torch them.

Torch a sewing kit until it turned fucking red. It would be like molten hot. Run it under water and then start digging. Like I'm in the Civil War or something. Can't just put a little alcohol on it at the same thing. Nah, we were fine. There was a, in the Ryan household, a lighter was way more handy than rubbing alcohol.

Fucking dumping Jim Beam on it or something. We did my boy, my boy Pat. We stayed on 12th Street in North Wildwood with my family. My boy Pat came down and we were going to the beach and I got a huge splinter in my foot. It was like this long, like on the walking to the beach. Like on like a wooden boardwalk or whatever.

It was like it hurt. Dude, this, it was like literally like two and a half inches. Like I just, it was like a piece of wood, not a splinter. Like a shard. And I'm like, now I'm fine. I'm like 11. I'm fucking crying to take me back. And they like, my stepdad, he always has a Cutco knife on him.

Like a little pocket knife. Like a Cutco. Yeah. What's Cutco? Cutco is a company. Have you ever heard of Cutco? Well, I have an excellent investment opportunity for you. The human scheme.

Like all, all nice kitchen knives are Cutco. You going to make a little cat? But he always has, and dude, he has like, he's like cut bait with it. He'll like, he'll cut like a piece of salami with it. He digs him. Dude, he dug in my foot. It literally was like a civil war operation.

Wait, why was he with you and Pat? I went back to the house because I'm like, this is a fucking emergency. We got to go to that. And he's like, I got it, dude. And I said, I remember just him going to fucking town on my foot with a pocket knife. It was like a chip tip on it.

It was just fucking in there. It's a fucking tough look. All right, I don't think he, I don't think he sterilized that either. My mom used to love that stuff. Whenever we had anything like that, she was maniacal with it. I told you she used to, if we had warts, she would, you know, get warts when you're a kid? We talked about this.

I had one, yeah. But you said it like you would, you know, when we had warts. We get them all the time, it seemed. I don't know what we were doing. Try apple cider vinegar on it. But she'll, she would peel off. She would take tweezers. She'd sit there under the lamp on the couch

while she's watching like moon landing or something. I'd have my, you know, I'd have to sit there and hold my finger fucking Marlboro, fucking just burn it in the ashtray. And she's taking tweezers and peeling off the top of the wart to expose the little root seed, Cecilia, for whatever they're called. They're like little fibers.

You ever see underneath a wart? There's like little, little fibers in there. Yeah, we can breeze past this. Yeah. And then she would drop the, the wart remover on there. Get it at the base level. Stung. We got it.

We got to get it at the root. That would start her stomp that thing. Start her. That would start hurting in the middle of the night, man. Talk about pain, just searing, man. No, I ripped one off and it never came back. Nice. Tough guy.

Real tough guy. I cut one out of the bottom of my foot with a razor blade. Oh, I forgot some on the bottom of their feet. Yeah. Cleaners. Tobi's got weird feet too. Oh my, folks. Tobi's got maybe the weirdest toes I've ever seen in my life.

That's what you should post a video of on, for Patreon, show people. You should do only fans with those things or, you know, fucking Ripley's Believe It or Not or something. Those things are fucking cuckoo. Full hands come out, like raccoon pants. Dude, they're terrible.

Oh, God. Long. You have toes that are as long as my fingers. You definitely have a toe that's longer than that. My big toe's about that, about that, yeah. It's flat, too. Like a hammerhead. I don't trust it.

Never sleeps either. Like a doll's eyes. Black eyes, like a doll's eyes. All right, this one's from Zach. This is from the Facebook group. Switch over a little bit. This is from the Facebook group. This is from Zach Townsend.

Does your dog have visible nipples? Because if it does, I'm out. I gotta be honest with you. I'm not coming over for dinner if I can see your dog's nips. That's a thing. I'm going out on a limb here. I realize that's not, you know, progressive,

but I don't want to see your dog's nipples. I would rather see visible nipples on a dog than open butthole. Open butthole's a tough one. Open butthole's tough. Crop tail. Yeah. Just there she is, staring at her.

That happens. Hello. That happens though. Yeah. Nips are tough. Yeah. Because when you're rough, when you're, you know,

when you're trying to pet their belly, you don't want to hit them. Well, I look, no. Yeah, no. I don't go, I don't go on the undercarriage. Nope. I stay at them. Hey, how you doing?

A little pat on the head. Get this thing off. Fuck away from me. Yeah. I do feel like if you got a dog, it would be like a business partner. Yeah. You're not, you're...

What? You're not cuddly. I, I'm sorry. I'm not with cuddly with you. Would you baby talk him? Night puppy doggie doggie doggie doggie doggie doggie. I mean, like, in a... Right, it's 18th birthday.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Get him a T-bill. Yeah. You're gonna treat your dog like a stepdad. Like a... Call me Kevin. He ain't mine. I'm looking back at the end of my life.

I did a lot for that dog. I did right by that dog. I did right by that dog too. I don't know who I'm saying why he's got a problem with me. Wasn't my goddamn dog. No, yes, I, yeah, of course. But also like, you do it to a point that's like embarrassing to me as an adult.

Just do it honestly. Yeah. And I'm honestly, I get it. Yeah. You turn into like a... You do it like a spy or checking the room for bugs. You'd be like, all right, we're clear.

Would you booty? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do it when no one's home and the lights are out. Ha ha ha ha ha. Don't fucking tell anybody about this. A good job. Bye bye. No, of course, yeah.

Yeah. I love puppy doggie and key cat. Yeah, that's... I mean, dude, you were a 45 year old man. That's insane. You don't like snuggle and puppy doggie and key cats? Yeah, I just, well, I would never say yee yee yee yee yee yee.

It's so cringe-worthy. T-bone anything on this or am I out on no man's land? No, you're, he goes overboard with it. Thank you. Thank you. I do it a little bit with my lahomey though. I understood, I totally get it. And I should also never,

I've never seen your cat or haven't seen your cat in years. My cat's beautiful though. She's beautiful, she's a little fateful. Okay, I have absolutely the cutest cat on planet Earth. Oh my God, I'm done. I'm podcasting with two fucking dorks. Looks like Carl Maldon. We do have to chill,

we're gonna get bullied by the other podcast. Oh my God, dude. We're gonna get fucking done. Hey Tony, where's your cat? We're gonna get, surprise if we don't get wedgies on the way out of here. These fucking dorks. God damn.

Holy shit, we got a reptile upkeep. Guys over here, here, here, here, here, here. Oh God damn. All right, this one's from Brett, also from the Facebook group. Ordering the burger at a nice seafood restaurant. Which, listen, as I've been a very picky eater my whole life,

I've hated everybody judging what I order. But, maybe everybody, what, I don't know. If you're in the mood for a burger, get a burger. It shouldn't be on a menu if you don't want me ordered. It shouldn't be on the menu at a seafood place. There I go, but it is sometimes. The pork, the cheapo selection should be

grilled chicken breast. I've done that. Oh, sure you have. Yeah. A good chicken, a little sauteed, a little. No starter. What, no. I don't mind spending the money.

I just, I'm a picky eater. So, if I get boots on the ground and I don't like the offense, or I don't like the defense, I'll change the fucking play and go. Chashimi. I don't like the sound of that. Go straight up the middle.

This chicken's from America, right? All right, I'll take one of them. Where were we? We were somewhere recently where they had that. They call it like the pub burger or something like that. They always show, I get it, but, you know. Probably pretty good. It's pop.

If it's a nice seafood joint, I know their way around the. Or a nice steakhouse, you know? Yeah, steakhouses. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. Throw a nice piece of meat at you. Yeah. I've been really hungry for a hamburger.

We had a hamburger since, oh, I had one in Cleveland. Yep, I know. A bun, though. You're hungry for the bun. Yeah, probably hungry for the bun. I like a good bun. You know what I'm not a fan of?

Now, I might have said a lot of people. Vegetables. No, I love vegetables. I might have. I might have. I might have said a lot of people out there, but I want to go on record and say, and maybe it's just because I've never had a great one,

but the pretzel bun can hit the fucking bricks. I mean, I don't encounter it that much, but I think. You really don't. And people, they try to push it. Well, they do it. You got it. So, I mean, is it like what? Shape does a pretzel?

No, you like the brioche style pretzel bun. Yeah. I'm fine with that. I like a brioche. It's hardy. But brioche is different in a pretzel. I know, but I'm saying it's the style. I love a brioche.

Sure. Fresh. A lot of them try to slip the old ones. Yeah. Get the day old. Oh, it sucks. Kick. Rocks.

Yeah. Can't do it. No can do. All right. Let's see here. I feel like, hold on. I feel like if you do order that burger, if you're out to dinner with a bunch of people or people

and you order the burger, you have to, I'm just going to get the burger. Yeah. You got to say, so you can't just order. I'll have the hamburger. People are getting the octopus, the bronzino, the fucking mussels, the clams, the seafood tower. I'll have the, you got to.

I mean, it's got to be the re, if you're going because you're like, oh, I don't want to spend the money or whatever. And you're doing it to be like, I want to just give me the $9 burger. That's probably pretty. It's not a $9 burger. No, I'm just making it.

I'm saying if you're, I'm trying to make, if you're doing it for the reason to save money, instead of getting the fucking seafood tower, it's a little trash. I would probably not go. If I didn't have the money to go to be like, oh, I'm going to get what I want. I'm not going to fucking go.

But at the same time, if you're going, you know what? I fucking walked in, I saw the burger. The guy next to me had the burger. That looks pretty good. I'm in the mood for a burger. I'm getting a fucking burger. I don't think you have to preface it with anything.

I like that. Just order the fucking burger. I like that. I don't understand what you're talking about. Oh, I thought the preface was, I had the guy next door had one. It looked pretty good. No, I don't think you need to do that.

Just go, I want the fucking, hey guys, I'm getting a burger. This is coming from a guy who had a life of having to defend everything. Every fucking, every decision ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's also like, which just bothers me. I've never looked at somebody like,

that's what you're getting. Like, I don't care what you eat. I'm concentrated on me over here. Chicken fingers. Chicken fingers, maybe a nugget, maybe a tender. However you got them, I want them. Oh, the chicken fingers tower, please. Not the shabby.

Let's do two more and then we'll get out of here. Let's do that. I have a feeling, I've never done this. I have a feeling Toby's going to be very opinionated on it. This is from Mike Davis. Dude, I'll tell you, I do it the best. Whatever it is, Toby doesn't the best. This is from Mike Davis in the old Facebook group.

It just says pickle back shots question mark. They rip. Oh man, he's got pickle back shot head. This guy does. If anybody does pickle back shots, it's fucking Tebow, McMuffin, Toby McMullen. Now, I would like to hear a pitch on this. What exactly is it?

Pickle juice? Yeah, it's a shot of whiskey and then you follow it with a shot of pickle juice. I'm not opposed to it. It's delicious. It's fun. I like pickle juice. I love olive juice because I love a nice dirty martini.

Dillty. Yeah, nice dirty pair of underwear too. Like everything dirty socks, underwear and all that. It's a novelty shot. It's like Malort. It's like a fun thing to do. Yeah, my thing is it just jams up the fucking J-mo. I'm there for the J-mo.

I'm not there for the pickle. Well, people have given them to me and I'm like, get the fuck. I'm just doing the J-missing. Like you gotta do the pickle. I go, no, I just did the J-missing and I'm going to hang out with these people over here. They started to do pickle juice as sports drinks

because apparently they've got a lot of electrolytes in it. Yeah, they're also pitching milk as a sports drink. Marketing's kooky, man. I don't know what to tell you. Who's pitching milk as a sport drink? Milk. Milk, big milk, big milk. When, recently?

That's their whole thing. Milk does the body good. Strong bones. I'm talking sports. No, no, no, no. They literally say the original sports drink. Yeah, they got Mark McGuire with a fucking milk mustache. Meanwhile, that guy's fucking, that guy's juiced up.

He's like Tropicano over here. Yeah, HGH, the original sports drink. The original sports drink. All right, I'd be down for it though. Ice cold. Well, I know they're selling like pickle drinks. Yeah, I was here 30 seconds ago. Where are you?

Pickleback's fun, dude. Pickleback's all right. More fun than a lemon drop, I'll tell you that much. I don't know. Nothing's more fun than a Jemo, straight up, in and out. I mean, goodness. If you've never done one, it's worth doing. I know.

It's not the pick. It does. There's nothing selling me on. The best part about a Jamison, about a pickleback is the Jamison. Am I right or am I wrong? Yeah, but does it have to be Jamison? No, it's just whiskey. Whiskey.

This is whiskey. Jim Beam, whatever you like. Is that to be whiskey? Old crow gives a fuck. I think that's what it is. Pickleback is whiskey, yeah. I guess the flavor is the combination of the two, I guess. But, Keb, it's like I've done 10,000 whiskey shots.

Why not spice it up one time? Because it does the trick. I don't know. I think we'll have to do that on the pod. What? A pickleback? No. The pickleback episode.

I won out of principle. Not doing it. Wait, actually. Did I win out of order of the burger at the fucking seafood? No, no, no. I got it. I got what the episode is. We'll do it on Patreon and we'll do your city's novelty booze.

Oh, that's pretty good. So, like, Chicago is my lord. I'm sure Cincinnati puts, like, spaghetti sauce inside of some fucking Baileys or something. That'd be a good one to get fucked up on the podcast. That'd be a good drink. I've been wanting to do a proper drinking, like a proper drunk episode. All right. I haven't done it.

Hit us up with your city's dumbass drink. Yeah. And we'll fucking do it on the Patreon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. All right. Let's do two more.

We'll call it Drinking Around America. Oh, man. That's, I don't like that. You need a Bob Sag at the Hostage? Fucking dork. All right. This one's from John Crawford. How long will you go between washing ice cube trays?

Which, did you ever catch a bad-looking ice cube tray? It's got some fuzz in it. Maybe, like, a fucking seed in it or something. Who washes them? Yeah. You wash them? You're supposed to. I've never, once in my life, ever washed an ice tray.

Yeah. Jesus. Well, you got to think, like, yeah, I mean, like, it just picks up, you know, whatever, dust, the chrome, anything, just anything. I mean, you rinse it off when you're kind of filling it up. Not enough. Not enough. Really?

Yeah. I think you should be washing them. Wow. I've seen dirt. You see, you could now picture yours in your head. Like, it's a little dirty. Yeah. There's a fingerprint on it.

There's, you know, a little bit of barbecue sauce or something. That's on their purpose. Yeah. Barbecue pops. Uh, yeah, you got to do that. Also, somebody else's question, I forget the fucking name, was, well, if you have an ice cube maker. We got one at my parents.

It sucks. The ice cube maker? Yeah. There's some of this fridges whack that they got. Yeah. But will you put your hand in to take it? God damn right. They're fucking waiting all day like a jerk goof.

Yeah. I don't like those, those, the fridge makes them ice cubes. They're like, they're like long and thin and like. The crescents. Not a fan. They always taste real like coleslaw. Yeah. They have like a.

I think that's just a foley. Oh, that's a foley. Yeah. Maybe give it a more than a rinse. Yeah. No, you're saying the maker, the ice maker. Yeah. No, no, no good.

My rent's got a new fridge couple of like two, three years ago, maybe whatever it was, but the old one had a distinct. That was from when they moved into the house probably fucking 30 years ago. So it was like probably 28, 30 years old when they replaced it. And that had the distinct, distinct ice cube and water taste. Yeah. It was like an old fucking whirlpool appliance. Yeah.

That's, you know, the pipes of just whatever. Yeah. They ran its course and it had its own acquired taste. Yeah, it's not good. Also, someone else's question. When you drop an ice cube, what do you do? Do you kick it under the fucking? There's only one move.

Yeah. It's kicking into no man's land. That's international waters under the, under the fridge. As long as it's in the general direction of the dog, you've done your part. Oh yeah. Yeah. You got a dog. Yeah.

Whatever they decide to do with it, that's between them and the ice cube. Yeah. Hey, I gave the dog an ice cube. I washed my hands of that. Yeah. Um. Get me kicking his dog an ice cube. Have fun.

You're my best friend. Lose the nipples. No, no way. I would, I wouldn't get a female dog cause of the nips. Really? I don't want to roll the, I don't want to fall in love with an animal. And all of a sudden I got a hater. Sick.

Oh, next thing you know, I got this fucking octa mom walking around. I don't need all those nips in my house. Fucking run. I run a family program. Dog looks like a boxing gym. Just covered in speed bags. Yeah. I don't fucking need that.

Um. All right. We'll get out. This one's just a fucking home run. This is from Jack. This is from Jeremy. Uh, do you swing directly from the Pepto Bismol bottle? Hell yeah.

Straight, straight directly from every bottle. Listerine. Pepto. You just get Southern all of a sudden. Swing directly from every bottle down there. Yeah. Listerine. I mean, if you're pouring it into the cap of a list, I mean, you're a fucking jerk off.

You know, Listerine is great, but you know, it's nice every once in a while. Nice bottle of scope. I'm a listerine man. I like the burn. Scope's delicious. I used to drink a little bit of it when I was a kid. Like that spearmint flavor. I mean, that little peroxide.

Fuck you up. That some of your mom's the odorant, you know, regular Johnson and Johnson over here. Gang. This has been a fun filled family episode. We love you guys very much keeping anything you want to tell them out there. We fucking love you guys. Thanks so much for the support. I'm at Kevin Ryan comedy on all social media and yeah, check out AYG on all social media,

Patreon, YouTube, iTunes, the whole nine yards. We fucking appreciate all support. Beautiful. We love you guys and we'll see you next week. Peace.