Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Industry Insider w/ Dan Soder

Episode Date: February 10, 2025

Are You Garbage has Dan Soder back! We're talking cover bands, the industry and answering your garbage questions! You know Dan Soder from stand up comedy, Soder the podcast, Kill Tony, The Bonfire, The Joe Rogan Experience, Impressions, Legion of Skanks, This is Not Happening, We Might Be Drunk, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast and his Comedy Special "On the Road"! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Blue Chew: Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Acorns: Head to https://acorns.com/GARBAGE or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today! This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Liquid IV: Get 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code GARBAGE at https://LIQUIDIV.COM Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gang breaking news from here at Aunt Tooties, we are about to drop the RU Garbage Comedy Special. Yeah, it's a special we shot on the Route 66 Tour. It includes comedy from each city, a bunch of behind the scenes on the bus, I'm talking beers, heaters, someone shits their pants, it's a whole thing. RU Garbage YouTube page, sign up, subscribe now, live from here, February 25th, let's go. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.

Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Hey! It's that little show. We sit there with your favorite comedians, the the garage shining up the spinners. Okay. Getting ready. Alright. Thought that was gonna hit a little harder. You gotta go back to the writers room. What do you mean? That's in the Patreon. That's diaper rifles over there on Patreon. I thought that was gonna kill. But it didn't. Myco's. But here we are. No more taking sips when I'm hitting my punchline. I didn't know that was a punchline. Thought was more of a short story sweeten that up a little bit My coach is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He's an international businessman and a tough laugh. Let me give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody

What up everybody shout out to you first of all thanks for tuning in as always make sure you review subscribe on iTunes full video Available on YouTube and now Spotify we on iTunes full video available on YouTube and now Spotify We got a full video available on Spotify over it. I don't know how to find it how to watch it, but it's over there I've been told and with the boys are on tour shows are selling out We're adding second shows but get your tickets now running to the Midwest Pontiac Minneapolis in the Show at it Austin, Texas Austin, Texas. We just added Creek So a little pop-up showing us something. They get those tickets. The boys are out there We'll see you on a road and gang we couldn't be more excited. I've are incredibly and I mean

Incredibly special guests back with us again today's family at this point He's one of your favorites one of our favorite you can hear him every week on his amazing podcast So to give it up for the one the only Dan Soder True swordsman. I'm giving you guys a comic. I'm giving you cross-paws because I feel comfortable here. Like a golden retriever by a fire. You get cross-paws to start the show.

Oh, he likes us. I start scratching your ear. He's relaxed. I might show my belly to show you I feel completely safe. Oh Dan, big stretch. He's most comfortable. Yeah, good to be back. You're not a watch guy, are you?

No. Any two thin wrists. Is that what it is? You think you have thin wrists? Look at that. There's some space in there. Maybe you just got long fingies. I think, yeah, I'm'm spindly you do have long fingers

You never played the piano or guitar nothing never no bass tried dude. I would have fucking come on I also only I know I'd be good at the base because I know how to move while playing the bass Which is this what it's all about. It's all it's all rock Bob goes one two. How about a head nod to the drummer? There you go. What's up? Yeah, say something about after the show. I'm very, the way my face is, I could probably play stand up bass with a hat. Uh huh. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Really? Yeah. I always thought that was just a cello. I'm not sure of the difference. Yeah. If I have to be honest with you. Aren't they all just violins? I guess. I mean to me, yeah. Aren't we all just violins? Yeah. I never, never, but I don't have musical talent, so. Nothing.

Nothing. You, either one of you guys? Played the guitar a little bit. Oh. Would you pay him to do this? I'd pick a banjo. Have you ever played a song for a lady? Uh, yeah. Uh, I don't know. Have you heard Sunny Day by any chance? Did you, did you, you've gotten pussy from playing the guitar? I wouldn't say. He's got a couple of dicks coming. you ever heard sunny day by any

sessions in the fraternity house. Oh man you guys were locked in huh? Doing disarm. Ohhhh. That's my kind of pumpkins right there. If you're walking by that frat house you go you hear those queers? You hear the first couple of chords that come as you are. Must be the accounting frat. I mean did you what would happen? How would a jam a jam sesh break out jam sesh would break out? There was a couple of kids in the fraternity that were actually pretty good Okay, and at the time I pushed myself off as a vocalist no way or of a drug addict But you would sing sing did you ever I mean, I just crazy You don't know this. Yeah, this is like this is like if this is like a sitcom build up. He's had a piss. It was like that, fuck I forgot who was doing the interview, but they wrote a sketch on

SNL about, oh Malaney wrote it for Keenan about a sitcom where Little Richard keeps getting stuck. This feels like a sitcom. Like a band's going to come through and be like, anybody sing? Hey, our car just broke down man. The dance is over. Yeah, I should know a fat guy But I kind of feel like the cast member of the of the sitcom that doesn't know that Foley can go Yeah, yeah, you're like wait why this was in you the whole time. I turn the corner go You know, I rock you'll appreciate this cringe moment There was a kid that was really good at guitar. I had already been kicked out of school. I was at theater school I'm hanging out there as a musician

He was working out of the background not so much the skill But he needed that he needed the dark background to be the guy dude your outlaw persona Yeah, but the dude they there was like a bunch of dudes smoking weed in one of the rooms went in there And he was like full you can sing right on my camera and I could sing. I bet your fucking ass I can Was it the super bad? Great song right? Yeah, who's that Electric Light Orchestra? No Emerson Lincoln Palmer No, it is god damn it. It's the guy from the traveling blueberries, right? I haven't known three of the bands. You

think that's a new Mexican ring. What's that? Los Lobos wasn't Irv Gotti. I can pay it at. Alright, he's big dog. It's murder and the dude played not creep. fake plastic trees and I sang that creep fake plastic trees. And I sang that.

Yeah. Oh, dude, that was your, that was you getting jumped into a gang. That was you sashaying into a gang. The pussies. Yeah. Oh, I got lost there for a second. I thought Tom York was in the room. That's a 90s kid, man.

I mean, they hit us over the head with that shit. We weren't ready for that. The radio. All that sweet stuff. It's one of my favorite clips I watch on the road on YouTube is. Patrice? Oh. Patrice explaining the life. That's been coming up a lot.

That's been making the rounds. White guys clicking the creep. Uh huh. Yeah. That is the thing where you're like, man, he was dead on. Dead on. I mean, like a detective. It's like to the point where it's not funny where you're like, whoa, that's good.

You solve the case. This is going to drive me nuts fully. I have to know. Hold on. I have it in my phone. Go ahead. The Guess Who. The Guess Who. Off the album Wheatfield Soul. Look at you. Great job, Luke. New guy, Luke, earning his fucking key. Do yourself a favor. Put that whatever you listen to to listen to one of them albums.

Yeah. Even the way it comes in. So good. Man, it is great. Shit was alright back then, man. Good job, The Guess Who. I'm gonna put that together. I was on the road. Have you heard it? It's just the name of the song. I was on the road. Have you ever confused the song for another band for like decades?

Thinking like oh this is so and so? Yeah. Uh there we were I was like oh my god. I was like oh my god. I was like oh my god. I was like oh my god. I was like oh my god. I was like oh my god. I was like oh my god. I was like oh my god. I was like oh my god. I was like oh my god. I was on the road. Have you ever confused a song for another band for like decades? Thinking like, oh, this is so and so? Yeah. There we were. I was on the road with Sagalow. We were

listening to, um. Shout out to Sag Daddy. Baby, baby come back. Baby come back. And I was like, oh, it's Hall & Oates. Sure it was Hall & Oates. It's not Hall & Oates. Yeah. One hit one hit. That is Hall & Oates. No, it's not. notes. You see yeah One hit one is all notes. No, it's not baby come back Who is it like he's don't say it's corner something like player player player player I think it might be a one hit one. I kind of felt that but baby come back. I would have come back I would have sworn man. It was fucking Darryl Hall right that maybe and sell it that I would like to know that because that would make me feel less crazy that's pretty good do a

cover oh not wrong so okay we're not wrong so they have done a version of baby come back it's also if you google who sings baby come back Hall and Oates should come up I mean I would come up yeah yeah but I mean this is you know then when you listen to player? Hall and Oates should come up. I mean, that was. They come up. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, this is. But then when you listen to player, these are the, this is player. You're like, oh, I never.

Sharp looking dudes. Yeah. But they, they do a, they do a better version than Hall and Oates. Huh. It's pretty good. Add it to the road playlist. I get that, I get the, I have the same confusion with um, back in the New York groove. Yeah, Ace

Freely from Kiss. Ace Freely and then um Hello was the other band, the original band that did it. No way. Yeah. I didn't know that was a cover. I tell you right now. Dude. Their version is better. Really? Nothing against Mr. Freely. I do. Listen. I'll

do. Hey, kitty cat. Hey, Mr. Kitty cat. No disrespect. Kiss fans. This is really turning into that's what I call music. Volume four hundred and eighty. This is the this is this is really turning into that's what I call music volume. This is the this is the most two D's conversation possible. You guys should be

back. I know so he likes to show. So he's a big 90s music guy. I remember you telling us he's a big 90s guy. Oh man. 90s culture. He's. I'm I'm trapped there emotionally. For the listener, he came in and goes, I just I just had to

pause Walker Texas Ranger. I'm back in. I'm back in, dude. WTR. It's a WTR. What year? Go back. What year would it be? 92? You just go back. Then I'm locked in. I probably would say... You're what? 40? Yeah, 41. So I'd probably say 95.

Last year, the 49ers won the Super Bowl. They need to unlock me. I won't be free until the Niners hold up their sixth trophy. The first time I can then I'll be like, thank you. The first time I connected with you, we hadn't met yet. You were on a podcast. That's weird. And you were talking about I was like, this guy gets it.

You were on a podcast and you were talking about being drunk and listening to porch alone in the dark smoking a cigarette. Oh, yeah. Pearl Jam's porch. Been there. Yeah. Pearl Jam. It was a Pearl Jam release is what it was.

I saw him. Release me. I mean, I'm talking about windowless room, smoking cigarettes in the windowless room. No ventilation. Hot box and cigs. Hot box and cigs. Blackout, 345 in the windowless room. No ventilation. Hot box and cigs. Hot box and cigs. Blackout, 345 in the morning.

Gotta open. You got a door open or anything? Nope. Gotta open cafe at 10 in the morning. Oh. Had to be, had to be on, in my waiting blacks, in the full blacks on the cafe at 10 AM. And she ain't coming back. And and release. And his dad, and daddy's still dead dead and I used to just fucking what?

Like 21 when he wrote that shit, that's great. It was crazy. Yeah It was a those I mean those that's what I miss about drinking is having those nights where you wake up You know what? Also, I would do real trash shit I got into the wire right before I quit smoking. So I at the DVDs. That's how long I had them It's only had season four shot at thing memorized shout out Lowe's my friend that let me borrow all five seasons Don't think I ever returned him sure probably own some hard media But I just moved in with Becky own My roommate for ten years. Go Birds for him.

Go Birds! We're recording this before the Super Bowl. This is releasing Super Bowl Sunday, Go Birds. Fuck the Chiefs. Yeah! I say that as a 49er fan. The only thing that could bring 49er fans and the Eagle fans together

is a common hatred of the Chiefs. You're not wrong. I'm going over to Big J's and I was like, I'm totally on board with the Eagles. I watched the 49ers. Michael Che got me a ticket to the Super Bowl last year and I watched the Niners lose in person Fucking a lot of highlights and missed calls this week from that Super Bowl

A lot of holds on Nick Bosa and fucking Fred Warner, but just saying When I first moved in with that Keown, you know when you like have when you first move in with a guy You can't really criticize sure. It's all note-taking yeah especially him he'd pin you I mean dude he'd fuck have you half Nelson we're both petrified of it oh my god a single leg takedown would ruin a whole day I've only been a I've only been one-on-one with him once and it was at Casey and Robbie's wedding up in oh yeah every other time I need a buff I need big man to buffer because they're the same age they can't, he's-

Yeah. It's like eating dinner with your stepdad. He's just very stoic and like he's the funniest guy. Best, he's, I love his comedy, he's so funny, but just a stoic man. And I bumped into him getting a coffee in the lobby and it was just me and him. He's like, pouring like non-dairy creamer and I'm like, how you doing? He's like, good, good, went for a hike. I'm like, I'm like fucking rubbish, you know, I'm like bad. He trains like Batman. Yeah, it's bad, dude. He honestly- He's like't he's like good good went for a hike. I'm like I'm like fucking rubbish, you know

I'm like trades like Batman. Yeah, it's bad He's a man he trains like Batman you would think that he was out at night cracking heads saving people Don't go to school. Yeah, right Stirring his coffee. How's your mom? Yeah, seasonal depression clear up How's your mom is a power move? How's the parent? How's your parents?

How's the old man? Yeah, we were just starting to live together and I would watch The Wire when I would come home from Spots and I was drunk and I would watch an episode and McNulty would start smoking and I would just light one up and Vec Becky own will come home and like open the door and I'd be like, sorry, dude I'm watching and watching him be like You know after a couple times he's like you guys stop doing that. That's crazy. I was just smoking with the Character you're doing cat same time character SIGs. It's wild. It's like I love a good song You're in the car a good song sig or traffic sig big fan

Character see but a character heater is your I got a you got to meld your brain, right? It's like jerking off the porn pretending you're the guy no that's immediately where my head You're in the wire POV Jamison No, it's season two I'm on the boat with a Jameson. It's like doom. Just wandering around. Oh no, it's season two. I'm on the boat. This is the

boat's moving. That's alright. Getting drunk by yourself, listening to music, crying, smoking cigarettes is a pretty good time. It was a staple of my life. Pretty good time and I tell you, that's what I'm saying. That 90s stuff came out

of nowhere. I was in a touch of my feelings like that. Is that how you did? Was through song? Ooh, Billy Corrigan, man, he got me. He's gotta be worth a couple of bucks. Yeah, I think he's doing alright. You mean that rock star? Melancholy, Infant of Sadness, that's one of the top selling double CDs of all time. I love that you really do have like a prospector town brain. Where you go, well he's struck rich. Yeah, that's a double CD.

Well he found that vein back in 23 and then that's been paying for him. I came west from Illinois with an idea. You and your big record money coming in here. Woo! Fully whistles at piles of money. Woo! Look at you, look at all that money. Yeah, sure could buy some hooch.

Yeah, are you always a sad man? But you got all that gold. He's like, well, record deals aren't really what the same are. Right now with the useless guys removing tickets back then. Yeah, they were. Cotton deals. Yeah, that was nuts.

People were actually paying attention to shows. Dude, I found a video on my laptop from Lollapalooza, 2013. 2013. That sounds way older of a sentence than it really should be. Yeah, I went to go see Queens of the Stone Age at Lollapalooza in 2013.

That's a good looking guy right there. Love Josh Homme. Jesus. He's my favorite. And I was recording it on my phone, but I wasn't recording the concert. I was just like doing kind of like, hey, like no one was on their phone. Sure. Locked in. No one was having their, everyone was just watching the show, like talking to each other, dancing.

It was like, it was fucking, that was 12 years ago. Completely different. That's crazy. Kev, let's talk about Bluechew, baby. Knock, knock. Who's there? Boner alert. That's right. Don't act like you don'tew, baby. Knock knock, who's there? Boner alert. That's right. Don't act like you don't know Bluechew. I know, I know. Bluechew. Talk about the plug, Daddy-o.

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Acorn Advisors LLC is an SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash garbage. Do it. Did you ever fall into any of those cameras? Like, cause you were a comic, you had to record sets. Did you ever have a cam? Flip cam? The flip cam was big.

Flip cam was the first one I got. I got it in a gift bag from a comedy festival. And I was like, now I can record my sets. Never. That's the one that had the USB in it. Like it would hang off the back of your computer. It would un-chop where you would do the release button to go like Flip up. Yeah, I remember showing up to the Raven with one of them

I just kind of we're just becoming friends. He went what the fuck is that? We started filming we started filming sketches on that Really? You're like you own a production company. That's really funny You got real media this guy's in big tech. What are you Ted Turner's kid? Must take a lot of money to have a camera like that. You must have found silver Silver must have been in that back River bed Yeah, it was only an early Foley and still kind of now. It's always one idea away from why aren't they cutting the check?

And they would they was never defined who's cutting the check and why or how much but he's always in his head one pivot away. I'm writing hits over here. From a big check. He goes this thing goes the way I want it to? You won't be seeing me around. Won't be seeing me around these parts. The only times we've shot something he would call cut the check already. I love that. That's betting on yourself. Give me a six movie deal here.

Why am I not on a lot in Hollywood? Dude, meanwhile we're like, we're splitting a meatball hoagie in my car. This is the subway? No, dude, this is it. This is going to be the one. I just got lightheaded. You listen to any new shit? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Subway. Yeah. No, dude. This is this is going to be the one. It um. I just got lightheaded.

Yeah. You listen to any new **** You you you down with the you know what's going on? What do you mean? Like any uh like Olivia Rodrigo. What's the last album? She's a child. What's the last album you purchased? Not of like I want to go back and buy this. Um the new the latest uh Sturgill Simpson, Johnny Blues guys. Okay. Great album.

I think Sturgill Simpson's one of the best artists. Blues? Yeah, like a little, it's like a blue grassy country pop. But they're new. Not pop, it's just rock. Sturgill Simpson? Yeah. He's been out for a while.

Okay. He's unbelievable. He's won a couple Grammys. He gets shunned by the CMAs unfairly. But I think he, you know, you go see one of his shows and you're like, this motherfucker puts on a show. Yeah, and I think that's where we're at. There's like people that are really good

at publicizing a product, and there's people that are good at delivering a product. Like that Gary Clark Jr. Unbelievable. Crazy talented. Virtuoso. Also check out Marcus King. Yeah, Marcus King. Fucking real.

He's friends with Burt. Yeah, they're always together. Fan of comedy. Yeah, I'm buddies Very town see in New York recently. Yeah, did the blue note or something? Yeah, I did a week at the blue No, he's killing it. Yeah, he shreds. He's like you want to play the guitar and you're like, holy shit Yeah, but uh, yeah, I think um, you know the latest Queens of the Stone Age album that came out last year times new Roman But yeah, I'm like, I love music.

I love I've never had any talent at it so I can purely enjoy it. Chad, the VH1. Ah, I was more of a VH1 man. I took a meeting with MTV fucking years ago. You worked for them for a while. I was on GuyCode. I remember you two when we moved up here. You were like,

you're like, how the fuck do you get on? Oh, Guy Cutter's hilarious. You, Chrissy D, Chrissy D, Schultzie. You guys were like, that's the easiest way to go about it. Well, Chris and Schultz were like the main characters. Them with Little Duval, Charlemagne, John Gabris, yeah, that guy. Jordan Carlos, Melanie Iglesias.

There were like a bunch of people on that show that were like common staples. I replaced Julian McCullough. He was on season one and two. I was on season three and four. You know, like in the white guy position. White tight end. You know, get some receptions.

But you're mostly there for blocking. Hey, good pass blocker. You're a Cooper Dejean vibe. Yeah, nah, nah. Shout out to the kid. Yeah, we're putting helmet on chests blocker. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no kid Yeah, we're putting helmet on chests. We're fucking we're hitting and And then Matt Bruce saw Matthew Broussard, I think replaced me No kidding. I did one season as an alcoholic and one season in recovery. There you go

Yeah, and my season in recovery. I'm like, what is it? Is it gonna be if I say that you share your feelings? like what is it? Is it gonna be if I say that you share your feelings? Should I admit all my faults and apologize? Hey is it breaking guy code to have empathy? And you're like no! Have empathy! So you can tell what step you're on by the episode. And then apologizing the next episode? Hey I'm at nine, I'm sorry. You have that styrofoam cup of coffee in your hand? Yeah dude I drank so much coffee and I'd go smoke smoke cigarettes Call a guy that fought in Vietnam to come back up Talk to a guy on the phone outside who fucking was in Da Nang. Was that your sponsor was a guy in for? My uncle Larry

Go back up there and tell him to hide a boner you better put it in your belt loop Or Charlie you'll fucking blow it off with a jumping Betty Just when you think it's over or Charlie will fucking blow it off with a jumping Betty. But we... Just when you think it's over, he hangs it again. But we... It was funny because I really was like, I started being like, this show's not for me. I remember the question.

Because they would sit there with the producer and they would like ask you questions. This guy just got real fucking comfortable over here. And they were like, yeah, let me... No one's ever done. Let me fucking tell you. Like I take my shoes off. Everybody show business fatty.

I'm going to teach you a little about a little company called Viacom. Back in the good old days. There's what's called the conglomerate. They gave careers to everybody. Chrissy D. Andrew Schultz. They're handing out TV shows, but they don't like your boy

There was a moment Where Andy Stuckey who I loved to death shout out Andy Stuckey? He asked me this question and I think I was just in a mood and he was like is it breaking guy code to? Stretch it to gym and I went let me guess Half the cast said it was And I go why is sex on your brain that much if you're worried about stretching? I'm like, I's a rap on soda. Where I left it I was like. TRL. Maybe I should drink. Because when I was drunk I was like, there is no guy.

Guy Cone is taking care of your bros. I went out drinking with the editors one night. Hey man, take it easy. We're so un-proactive here. This is for teenagers. It's a nine minute show. I go, if you start kissing and you take the condom off and she doesn't say anything then what is that guy called? They go, that's a law. He's breaking laws. you're gonna start kissing and you take the condom off and she doesn't say anything. The

word is that guy go. That's a law. He's just breaking laws. I don't even know if if you kill a guy and there's no witnesses. You ain't. You're breaking guy code. You tell the cops. Dan, we're gonna slide you into headbanger ball

next weekend. Hey, Pinfield needs to have a word. Shout out to Pinfield. He's been doing it forever. He's had a stroke. Did he? Yeah. Woo. He had a great voice. He had the the everybody. Downtown Judy Brown still doing great. Downtown Judy Brown. Pucks there. Dan Dan Cortez. Oh, look at me start it. Tony. Tony. Tony. I

loved him in that. What is Seinfeld? Oh, come on. I loved him. Good looking kid too. MTV Sports. Yeah, he's great. Of course. Um alright. All this **** this is neither here nor there. It was remnants and all these old TV figureheads. One time I met met I'm walking through the hallway. It's going

to single handedly bring down the industry. I go, I turn the corner. Kurt Loda is giving sloppy top. Kurt Loda was breaking stories back then. MTV news hit. I will tell you right now, MTV news was better than any form of modern journalism. We currently have you heard it here first. You're not wrong What's up world sway?

Yeah, I mean stories he broke Yeah, I mean that was When I hate I was too young. I don't want the new you guys are a little old. I don't want the news I wanted the videos. Yeah didn't want to knew you guys are a little old. I didn't want the news. I wanted the videos. Yeah. So, knew that came on. I'd be like, that's time to go get re up on my diet coke or my sleep. The second I saw those typewriter thing, I knew a rapper got

killed. Yeah. How many times you saw that typewriter thing and they're like rappers dead. Yeah. Kurt Cobain. Yeah. Kurt Cobain. Yeah. Bad. That was bad. They should have done that with Irv Gotti. More of a Kurt Cobain kind Yeah bad. That's bad. Did you done that with her of Gotti? We're like her co bangs kind of get oh That's a rapper. Yeah, it's Kurt Cobain Kirk. I think it's Kurt. Go get a song

I think it has a rapper his name's Kurt. Go bangs. That's fun You're naming yourself that it's pretty good that is really funny that you name it close to a very other Real name was Arthur Kurt Cobain because Kurt Cobain see if you can see if you get a spelling and phonetic pronunciation on that is so fucking I remember like he's bad I thought it was a AI or something and then he's you know I'm he's set up into trap I'm he pinve pinpood. You go Steve Winwood? No, heeve pinpood. That's a deep cut. Terry Garcia. Terry Garcia is so funny. Please call me Terry Garcia. Steve Winwood.

What do you got? He had a run from the 2010s. Drank in my cup. Keep it Trill. Work some. That's when I was in a club. This is a different Kevin. I was at Red Sky. Blue Martini. Oh my god. Pinnacle whipped cream for everybody. I was in a club. This is a different Kevin. I was at Red Sky, Blue Martini. Oh my God, just absolutely. Pinnacle whipped cream for everybody.

Check me at Denim. Oh my God, you knew Bottle Girls. I knew, yeah, I knew. That was crazy. Were you heavy into the clubs? No, I tried. That's what was kind of cool. How long did you try?

I didn't try. My brother, my older brother kind of was five years older than me, four or five years older than me. So he would go to the club. Your crew did that because a couple of your boys that had bars tried to like set that up. What do you mean? Like have like a couple of my boys that had bars. You make it sound like I'm in the mob or something.

Yeah. Couple of the guys. You worked in the restaurant industry, I remember being in like bottle service situations with you and your friends I've never paid for one Damn, you know you got it like that. I'll get the mixers. No, I just never had the money So like well there was this one club There was this one club that my brother would go to and he would get a bottle of vodka And if they didn't finish it, they would cork it for you and keep it and I found out I would

like store credit yeah just go I you didn't finish it will like put it in the bag if I come by at 12 a.m. if I'm having a tough day at work come back to next week there's a bunch of fruit flies in there. Sorry, you know what? We had a real infestation. Your bottle of Grey Goose looks like a science experiment. I got a half a bottle of Rumpelmann's back there. You guys see monkeys?

You guys got that Barton's they put back there? Are you guys detailing silverware with it? I've never heard of that. They cork it? Yeah, they cork it. Oh, the girl must hate you when you talk about that. Oh, the size that she lets out where you go, you know what it. Oh, the girl must hate you. This way. I don't know. The

size that she lets out where you go, you know what? We're going to get out of here. It's it's worse. It's worse than you think. So, my brother would go on Friday and I know I beg out, well, what'd you do last night? He's a guy we went over

to wherever it was. Denim, Red Sea, you know, whatever. Whatever their name. Fusion. Yeah. We would, he'd go, ah, yeah, we got a bottle or what? I get word that he corked a bottle. Oh, no. So, we would he'd go. Yeah, I got a bottle. I get word that he corked a bottle Oh, no, so I would show up the next you would eat his leftovers. Yeah put on a lot of wait since last night Did they write your initials? Hey, what's up? I knew them. I knew hey

He's coming back by Doing shop you're just drinking in like a menacing way? Your coat's still on? You go, no thanks, I brought a can of Coke myself. I got a can of anellic coke. I don't know if the tip on this do I? Can I eat here? Oh thank god.

There's a hoagie. You guys mind if I just pull up here at the bar? What's the address? I'm getting some delivery Hey, you guys mind Uber eats is outside Coming out in those sexy situations was always a bad luck dude you just pulling up to the bar full winter coat with just the Arizona, with an Arizona iced tea. The green tea goes real good with cold vodka. It's got ginseng in it.

I'm fighting off something. My doctor said I need more vitamins. This is like a cold hot toddy. It's a cold toddy. Oh, man, you stink. That's great. Well, that was the end. I did not know clubs did that.

I think that place might have, just because he was in there, spending money. Yeah, some places you can. Well, that was the end. I did not know clubs did that. I think that place might have just because he was in there spending money. Yeah, some places you can watch two men fight to the death. Exactly. Same basement at that place. It was the basement of Pearl. You can see that. There's a lot of a lot of things you can see

behind closed doors. No, that was that was the end of my early twenties was the end of that where you would get you would dress up business casual and go to the club. Yeah, that's what I mean That's when it was like we were in college and that's what you would do I always felt better at a dive bar, but I had to you know, that's what they had

That's what the cool that's where the broads are going But it really is you see your personality when you go to one of those places I would just sit there on the corner and like it's I hate I Genuinely hated how I felt there me and my friends went to the friends all my friends I grew up with we went to a trip All together for my friends 30th birthday. So I was still like 29 Everyone's 29 or 30 and we go to Miami and we went to like the Fountain Blue and I did the same thing and they were My brother's bachelor party. That's where they like waited in line and there were I think eight of us. You go to the pool or the club. Well, they're everyone's trying to go to the club which.

Live. Yeah. That's what it is. It's the best. They say it's the best. Man, my clubbing days are really coming out. You're a promoter. He's like, you got two girls you can bring with? I can get you in. But we all waited in line like chumps and then they were like, we can have going to lie. Um but we all waited in line like chumps and then they were like, we can have six of you go in and there was eight of us and I turned, I just turned to my

friend, Zach, who also is now sober, you know, he works the steps. Uh I turned to him and I was like, let's just go to the hotel. Yeah. So, yeah. We'll just be right. We'll wait for you guys. We'll go to the hotel bar and drink and we just went

and got blackout drunk while they went to the club. We just sat there drinking. That's all I want do off-duty cops. That's what you that's that's what I would rather do Yeah, I drove her at the club. We're hanging here. I go though. It's a it's fucking dance time for the ladies They want to shake their tail feather we're gonna be sitting here getting down to business I almost I got so drunk. I almost threw up taking a shot. That's how drunk I got Oh, I've done that where you take it you go. I Used to have a I used to have a move I go get me a piece of gum cuz the the ad starts coming out a gum

Cancels it out right away and I would look at I would look at one of my friends ago Give me a piece of gum and they knew they knew the pin was pulled and it was get out of the way There's been multiple times. I've been Fingan's Wake, the one that really jumps out. I took a shot and was like, nope. And I just throw up on the floor, walked out the door, and just got in a cab and went home. Good day, gentlemen. God bless.

I did a similar thing at Playwrights across the street from Caroline's. Was drinking with Che. I was already drunk, showed up. Che bought me. I bought a Guinness and a shot of Jameson. Double shot. Took it.

Felt it coming back up Just casually walked away walk downstairs like almost threw it in through the throw up in the toilet Where I was like, yeah like that came right back upstairs and drank my business like you flushed the toilet Yeah, it really was where I go Anyways, I think the dollar is okay You always had those bad. It's just didn't sit. Well, yeah Go down. I don't know what's going on with me. Yeah, I know what's going on. You've had those bad. It just didn't sit well. Yeah, it didn't go down. I don't know what's going on with me Yeah, I know what's going on. You've had 18 drinks tonight. Yeah, dude. I've ordered the wrong put down the wrong pipe

I've ordered shots when you're like this isn't gonna go down my One of my favorite comedians of all time Troy Baxley a Denver local He used to have this saying where you always go when we drink you go. Oh that one has corners on it What a great expression Uh-huh, I'm sure you know I'm sure you heard that in a bar or whatever, but that one always stuck with me I won't went down like glass yeah, that one had corners on it Oh, yeah, that would make sense. That's good since our esophagus is our cylinder Yeah, dude, just like whoa

All right, we gotta get to some place what happens Danny so You know hopped up on **** Sorry to blow the door off Viacom. You hear that? Shout out to Pinfield coming for Oprah. Next. God, Pinfield family. Hope you're doing alright. Of course. Uh alright, this one's from Big

Titted Animal. $10 homie. Never have one red. What's the verdict on chain sauces you can get from the store? Examples, the Taco Bell mild sauce, water burger, buffalo sauce, Chick-fil- chain sauces you can get from the store? Examples, the Taco Bell mild sauce, water burger, buffalo sauce, Chick-fil-A sauce you can buy at the store. This is a great question. Great question. Great question. I don't know what it says about me but we have the Chick-fil-A sauce from the store at home. That's the most common. Did you buy that at the Chick-fil-A or did you buy it at the grocery store? You can get

it retail at Chick-fil-A as well. Oh, at the grocery store retail at Chick-fil-A as well? Okay, I bought it at the grocery store. Wow. Cuz you light up. It's like seeing your see it. It's like seeing a friend at the movies you didn't expect to bump into. Oh, what are you seeing? You can get this here. Hey and I

immediately I love brand. I'm brand recognition. I'm trash. It's burned into my brain. Uh huh. I love brand recognition. Love it. I have I gotta be honest with you. I think my wife bought the water burger buffalo sauce. Man. Good stuff. I put that on friggin' every. And you're okay with the Chick-fil-A sauce not being on Chick-fil-A product? Yeah. Like could it be frozen chicken nuggets at the house? Done. Seven years old? Yeah. Dino nugs? Done. Guess what? Call me a meteor because I'm

wiping out all those dinos with that chicken sandwich That chicken does chickens dude. I put it on fries That makes it does it is trash it's trashy. I think if you're buying a restaurant Capitalism what it is. It's a Marikana how do McDonald's hasn't gotten that how does they're not a fucking bottle of mac sauce Next to the fucking mayonnaise of airy is they are holding On to the idea that it's somehow secret sure yeah, they give that up, then it's like you can only get it Oh, no, it's why you're saving yourself for marriage start selling that next thing. You know it's like I gotta go that that's the that's

I make a better smash burger. Yeah True, you know they need you coming back you need for the sauce cocaine Give out all their proprietary secrets, but give it up I'm a big fan of the chick-fil-a sauce and I'm gonna pick up the water burger Buffalo just on your test, buddy It's great. They also got it. They got something else too. That's a close. We got both of them I don't know what it is. It's all right But yeah, it's trashy and I feel yeah, it's gotta be trying to get a wall burger Which I've heard mixed things about oh Oh, maybe that's what I,

I have the Wall Burger sauce. Okay. Because the boys are on it. Because the boys are on it. Yeah, Wall Burger's in Texas, I haven't had that. I have the Wall Burger sauce, I apologize. Oh, you have the, which is, it was made by Donnie and the Wall Burger.

Donnie's on it. The boy, there's a picture of the boy's on it. Who's a goddamn worker at Donnie Wall Burger. He's been working since the 90s. He crazed it, all those episodes of fucking Blue Bloods. I think they still tour a little bit. They're doing shows. He's doing shows.

He's like, I saw us. I was on the tour bus. And I had this idea for sauce. For sauces? You guys ever have his buffalo sauce? Remember when you found out it was him in fucking Sixth Sense? Yeah. I mean, dude.

Give him the Oscar. You love it. Give him five. You're like, that's fucking unbelievable. Great. Lost a weight for the role. Love that. I love a weight loss for a role. Opposite of that, Bruce Willis. Lost a weight for the role. Love that. Love a weight loss for opposite of that Bruce Willis

done very well for himself Speak talk like Jeffrey Gourian Spotted at Gotham comedy club there. I was Gang the show is brought to you by better help and if anybody knows about better help It's us two lunatics right here sitting here. I'll tell you that right now Gang if you're thinking about starting talk therapy get on better help. Yes All right talk therapy is very important as most of you know I started my journey with talk therapy and it has started to significantly help me what you might not see it outwardly

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Yeah, we absolutely love this shit. We were drinking it before they were sponsors Yeah, and I just got over the flu and let me tell you something uncle hanky was Suck it on that like mother's milk if you're sick if you're hungover Every other shows like when you're power lifted when you're running Your wind sprints or whatever your karaoke. Whatever is that you're doing at the gym? Yeah, of course you got the electrolytes in there and I talking dirt bag stuff hydrates you three times faster than regular water Uh-huh, you gotta do dude. I'm telling you when you're sick, man. There ain't nothing better take your What's the what's the the things that everybody has yet?

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Yeah. All right, this one's from Andrew. Is it garbage to cut up last night's french fries and turn them into home fries in the pan with a little bit of extra virgin olive oil and butter? You add some salt and fresh cracked pepper, goes a long way with some eggies and a black coffee. Dad! Who's writing these questions this week? Blew my fucking mind. How did you open this portal to heaven? You got some salt and fresh cracked pepper, goes a long way with some eggies and a black coffee. Man.

Who's writing these questions this week? Blew my fucking mind. How did you open this portal to heaven? Ha ha ha, that's insane. I've never tried that and that sounds fucking unbelievable. Cause that is a big thing. We talked about this early on in the, in the conception of the show.

Cooking with takeout or leftovers from takeout. Love it. The next day is very garbage. It's also very great. I think it's good, but it's true. I mean, dude, you're turning french fries into into breakfast. I waited tables. That's pretty genius. Or is it using all parts of the animal like the great 100% like the Native Americans? 100%. I waited tables with a girl in Philly where that she exclusively did that and she would mix medias. She would put like Chinese and fries together. My wife does that.

She was like Q from Bond. Putting it all together. Interesting meal I have for you today, James. You'll notice that is some of the dumplings from last night's Chinese. And I've mixed it with what? With Wahlburgers sauce. That's Donnie Wahlburger right there.

Hey, I made that sauce pretty good. I know this is a Mark Wahlberg. This is a wild breakfast. But I'm doing it for Donnie. Cooking with leftovers. I only got one Wahlberg. That's at all place. Leftovers, cooking with leftovers

is always very underrated and very tasty. Yeah. Because the flavor's locked in. It's in there. Especially leftovers from another, it's like fucking, when a restaurant cooks it, it's fucking locked in. It's very biblical to leftovers from another it's a it's like fucking when a restaurant cooks it. It's it's fucking locked in It's very biblical to rise three days after I wonder

What do you chop it says you chop them out last night's in the home fries so you chop so you take the fries you fucking? You do that before yeah, you put them in the pan Yeah, yeah, then you put them in the pan then you the butter the oil really sear it up Get a good char on it. I get you bitch do a couple flips. couple flips. I should flip with some scram be a because they've been deep Oh, I would say over medium, so you got the yoke so then you yeah Oh, I mean come on. What are we doing? I would even say throw some fucking wall burger buffalo sauce in there Like a karate demonstration anybody else hard I'm gonna fucking break this table like a karate demonstration. Anybody else hard?

Uhhhhhh. Ah man, gotta try that. Yeah, that's a hard one. And then, cause like, I'll always, me and my wife, we order a burger, you know, we'll get burger from a place in the, in the na-, a restaurant in the neighborhood, comes with fries, I'll eat the fries, to a point where I'm like, there'll still be some left and I go, I don't really want them, but I'm going, I'm not gonna have eight french fries tomorrow now you can now I can Price of eggs comes down

It's over those things are through the roof man. It's like you go like on It's just like my don't gotta go to Fifth Avenue to buy him It's just like my... Gotta go to Fifth Avenue to buy them. I know. Gotta get a dealer. I'm at a Nordstrom rack buying pasture-raised eggs. I'm buying them off of Hasid on 47th Street. He's like, these are real eggs.

Real eggs. Right from a chicken. Wanna see it? Hold it. You can't leave the store. Look at that. That's a real egg. And you go, huh?

These are snake eggs. You son of a bitch. This is from a pigeon. I wouldn't sell you a pigeon's eggs. It's speckled. Come on. Look at that. It's a Robin's egg.

Don't you love those around Easter? Huh, when your guy comes back? That's just a whopper and an egg. What, you son of a bitch? These are a Cadbury tiny egg. I can't eat these. Ever been dumped while wearing roller skates? Broke up with a girlfriend one time at the roller rink,

dot, dot, dot, I was 30. That's you shouldn't be in roller skates at 30, unless you're with your children. You should be going to the roller rink. Agreed. But there's nothing more badass than breaking a woman's heart and then rolling away backwards. There you go. So I guess that's it for us. I know what he got broken up with

Oh, he got dumped by her and he's on take her shoes Sure now you now use can't sleeve And also wait for the next skate and then fucking go find another trial up chop block Fuck to take her knees out. You just start coming around, dude. Become an equalizer. Grab some eight-year-old and do the whip on her. You go, little girl, I'm gonna give you $50 right now.

I need you to do something. Put your helmet on. You're my little torpedo. Stay tight and low. Stay tight and low. Don't look up. I need the helmet to make contact with her patella. Do you trust me?

Do you trust me? Who are you, mister? I go, if I pop your arm out of your socket, it's just because I'm putting zip on the ball. Ah, man, I- She broke up with him? I said she- yeah, he got broken up with wearing a skate. Hey, that's- you put- I'm a preventative kind of guy. You put yourself in that embarrassing position by putting roller skates on at 30 years old. Yeah, but he might not have seen it coming.

Unless you're from Atlanta, and I know, but still. No, they're doing the bounce. Yeah. Getting broken up with it there. Unless you're from Atlanta. That's so funny. They love it down there. He goes, I'm getting broken up with.

We're doing a drop, squat, clap. I look to my left. I'm in the middle of the routine. I look to my left, bow-wows there my left bow I was there and then I turned back She says she's not into it anymore Seeing other people I mean that talk about Talk about see you know the people She I would have been very angry

if I Didn't see it coming, but if you did see it coming and like things were on the rocks don't go roller skates didn't see it coming but if you did see it coming and like things were on the rocks don't go roller-skating. Don't put yourself in that pot. Don't take your feet off. Even if it's going well, don't go. Don't go on a boat, don't go roller-skating. Yeah I walked into a bad one at a birthday dinner. I've mentioned it on the pot a couple of times. Bad one. One of my favorite places, Deniko, downtown, Cafe Deniko. Bowl of mussels right in front of me. I pushed it. What's wrong? Tell me. My birthday dinner. She broke up with you on your birthday dinner

It's over and then we had to go to a surprise party that she had set up for me Why not wait till the day after I don't know I had a very persistent. I had it coming you did Oh, yeah, I had it coming, but on the birthday that feels cruel good roller rink could be Yeah places of I load that roller coaster or something like that. Yeah, you can't do that. Take him out to coffee like a regular person. Text him. You gotta delace your skates,

talking about who's gonna stop by to pick up their stuff. Yeah, you're putting them in the year, you gotta return them. The guy's going, all right, great, what's your name? Spraying them. So I guess you get the dog every other weekend brutal Did you ever that was big for us? Did you have roller skating parties growing up? Yeah, skate city shout out skate city

Sucked at it always sucked at it always had to grab where they buy school like we had them with school They get their birthdays. They did do school, but also kids had birthdays That's where fucking Mortal Kombat 2, the arcade game. Whoo. The arcade games at a roller skating palisade. So you can post up there. You have a spot. That's all I do is I put on skates and I just go between arcade machines. That's pretty good. And they had they had NBA Jam. I specifically remember this is on Chambers and Hampton.

If you grew up in Aurora, Colorado, there's a skate city back there. Still might be active. Don't know. If I zone out. But it be active, don't know. You're eyes on it. But Mortal Kombat 2, NBA Jam, skate rink hot dogs, skate rink fountain soda. Dude, the pizza. Skate rink slushies, the pizza.

The pizza, the hot dogs, it was like, it had flavor. It was great, dude. So good. The pizza, I remember. It was like, dude, that was also a big day where you would go and you'd be like, hey, will you skate with me? That was like to this pizza. I remember it was like that was also a big day where you would go and you'd be like Hey, will you skate with me? That was like that was like the first dance your couples game I watched my friend Tyler tongue kiss a girl for the first time

Oh, this kid moves quad roller skates They were at was that skate city cuz it was like kind of like who is he Chas Michael Michael? You go for I was just dude I was just a hanger on and this guy this guy guy kissed this girl and I, you know when the first time you see people French kiss in front of you, it looks like they're like transferring souls. It's vulgar. When you're a little, yes, it's vulgar. You watching, you go, Jesus Christ. I don't know about you guys.

In the movies they make it look like clean or whatever. I was turned on. And when you see that tongue going. When the tongue pops through the cheek, you're like, whoa, that's how it felt. You're like, whoa, that's how it felt. You're like, Jesus, guys? And she was like the hot girl at the skating rink, so you're just like, damn dude, you guys are adults, I'm a little boy over here.

Yeah, you're like, once that starts happening, I'm so far away from that, like, fuck. You're like, I'm trying to find out the Bill Clinton code on NBA Jam. These motherfuckers are over here actually being adults. Sure. I remember one time, that was big, and I had to, I left. NBA Jam these motherfuckers are over here actually being adults. Sure I remember one time that was big I left I just didn't realize how fat of a kid I was and like everybody's like holding hands skating and yeah I remember I got

I got a slice of pizza to go at the end the party was over everybody's walking out there's no parents are picked my I remember my dad picked me up and I got in the front seat with a slice of pizza and I remember him just going, you skate with anyone? I went nah, and I'm just like fucking munching a piece of pizza. There's no way whoever worked at that skating rink, when you- Lights are on! When you ordered that pizza- I ordered in shoes, which is crazy.

Crazy, nasty work. Whoever gave you that that slice. I have a plate please. He went like this Sure, that's a pity. It was yeah, he's like the cash register shut down He's like hey mister. Can I have a slice of pepperoni goes? Sure, can what you're either a cigarette or some drugs or something You want to go talk to the girls wouldn't mind having a slice of that pepperoni pizza You guys just gonna throw it out or what? I'd see it in a thing. It's spinning. Yeah, can I please it still looks hot because it's warm at best It was it sat in like the it sat in like that circle like like kind of like a super pretzel thing

And they are getting warm and your dad was like fucking nerd You skate with anybody Remember it was a couple of wet willies It was raining too and I think at the time I remember the pizza getting wet as I got in But how good was that pizza and that ride home was way better I'm going to be a little bit as I got in. But how good was that pizza? And that ride home was way better. Yeah. Uh huh.

It's fucking sweetness to it. Is Skate City still open in Aurora? It is. Whoa. Two hour session for eight bucks. That's pretty good. Eight bucks. Is there? Sweet god. That's how to even keep it at doors open. Dude, I'm like, that's gotta be

a front for a cartel. I think mine's closed and I'm pretty sure. Check out the roller skating palace in Northeast Philadelphia. Come on. Right by where the plane is. See if Kevin's picture is still on the wall. Right down the block. It's gotta be closed.

Did you ever have to like, did you get good at roller skating? Rollerblading? I played hockey. I was really good. Okay. I could still, I'm still probably horrible. Horrible. Pretty good now.

Horrible roller. I was petrified too. Me too. Social anxiety, petrified. If it wasn't for that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game where they had the four things Yes, I probably would have killed myself. Yeah, I just post it up me too. What a slurp with a slushy dude come see me I got a fucking large dr. Pepper, and I got a I got fucking I'm forgetting the guy with blades for hands Blanca come see me play Mortal Kombat 2. You're going to be catching a bunch of Blanca.

Couldn't go. Blanca was Street Fighter 2. My brain's covered with a layer of resin. Some of my boys were like naturals, just killing it, going around, doing it. Oh, dude, one of my friends was so good at rollerblading that I could get around, but he was so good, he could do the thing where he would touch

his hand because he'd be going so fast. That's crazy. I don't want to you guys are describing me a little bit. I feel I want to be honest. The thing that always really upset me was when I would be trying to trot along when I would skate my friends

that would do the thing where they would skate next to me and then turn backwards and talk to me and I'd be like, what are you doing right now? What's up, Dan? I'm a person. Wanna get a slice of pizza? And then I immediately just go I'm gonna get out of here go off to the big circular thing where you sit down on

I don't want I don't want it. I'm gonna go smoke And then my friend works my friend Dane would be like you wanna go get high and you're like yes Skate City by the way when I started getting high when I was like 13 or 14 I'm like, yes. Skate City, by the way, when I started getting high when I was like 13 or 14, what it became a club. Sure. It was the club. You're fucked up in the club. Yeah. I'm fucked

up. Yeah. No bottle service. No bottle service. We had one. We had an actual club for. He put a cork in that Dr Pepper. I'll be back next week. Yeah. It was called Beach Street. See if you can get that Beach Street. I think it was in

Trevo's, Pennsylvania. I talked about this on my podcast with David Borey because he's from Denver, but there was a sixteen year old. You have Max 16. Oh no, ours was 16 to 20. That's too weird. That's too much. It's too much, but it was sick. Ours was like Max 16 or 17 and you would be like 13 to 16. That's crazy. I think that's crazy mixing 13 and 17 year old. 16 to 20 I get mixing. Those 20 year old guys are mean. Oh yeah. Scary.

They're men. Yeah. So also remember when like at that age when you can't drive and a guy can drive you're like you might as well be a grandfather. Yeah. Like that's how old they must be. Were they lived alone? I can just go to my house and you go, I gotta hold up Trisha's sleeve.

Dude I remember we were playing hockey and we were like on teams and we all I think It was like whatever this one team all the kids drove themselves. That's why Psychologically, they broke us. Yeah, they got out the one I remember the one kid spinning a lanyard on his finger and I went I even got hair on my balls This kid's driving a fucking stick ship. Is that still popular? What? Hair on the balls? Uh. No, because it's not. Manscape. You guys are probably sponsored. Sure are. Um, I don't think so. I would. Remember the flip and then it would flip all the way around. And then you'd fucking whip it back.

It was like a security blanket. I used that going into my freshman year of college at football camp like it was an invisible blanket. It was. As long as I had that thing around my neck or was doing that. And you can fidget and you're doing something. Okay. Yeah. I remember I was, they were Tommy Hill figure ones

you would get on the boardwalk in Wildwood. And I saw this, you met a kid, you know how when you meet a kid from another school, I didn't know what, what it meant, some weird circumstance. We were 12, whatever, 10 maybe. That's Little Kid UN. Yeah, and he's cool, he was cool. I'm like, you're cooler than any kid I've ever seen.

Yeah. And I'm like, and he had, we met him, they're like, oh, this is TJ or something. Fuck it, TJ's all right. He might as well have been leaning on a light post, smoking a cig, and his bike, we all rode bikes down the shore, his bike lock was a key, smoking a cig and his bike, we all rode bikes down the shore, his bike

lock was a key, not a combo, and that key was on a Tommy Hill figure lanyard and he was spinning and I went, buddy, I just want to be, you're the coolest guy in the world. You like roller skating at all? You like, you like, you like roller ring pizza, bud? Well there goes my hero. Watch him as he goes. Loved it. You go, Kevin Ryan. Soon to be your best pal. T.J. Kevin Ryan, sorry about the pizza grease. Sorry, it was raining. I just ate wet pizza. Is your dad ashamed of you too? Yeah, I bet not. If I was your dad, I wouldn't be ashamed. I got a hug. I went to

a seven V seven football camp and they gave us Gatorade lanyards. I don't need ones. I know them and I had that for like three years. Yeah, they were talking about worth the price of it. They were the shit hanging out of the pocket.

Let the girls know you got a house. Oh, I also I can run cover too. Sorry ladies. I can read an offense. I'm up in the hook to curl. You want to find me? Because like zone. You guys like covering the flats. Excuse me. Okay. She was not if I'm checking down. You go fuck what? What's that mean? What? Yeah, well, whatever. Slut. You're probably a lesbian. Yeah. Good luck munching box. I'm out of here. It's bros. Real four three. Yeah, I'm out of here. ****

deep fade or take care of your stupid offense. You defense anyways. Hey, good luck losing in the playoffs, ladies. She's like, what? just flipping your getter thing. Sorry, I'm only talking 77 terms. Oh, god damn. Uh alright, let's see as a as a

previous, you know, booze bag, like to get your your your take on this. This is from Jason Orion. $10 dignitary. Uh is it garbage if you're having breakfast for dinner, right? No, there's a twist breakfast for dinner Great, not classy obviously tragic, but it's delicious You're having breakfast for dinner. Is it trashy to drink a beer with that breakfast for dinner? No, I feel like it is All bets are off. You're already having breakfast for dinner. I gotta agree there is no there is no timeline

You're in the multiverse. I don't know if it would ever cross my mind to do it I think you're going out you want a fucking fried egg sandwich. Mm-hmm. Grab it with a fucking tall boy You know something that and we're okay, and you're you're putting me in the mind of a booze Dan sure I'm not eating for taste. I'm eating for sustenance Yeah, you gotta get the base base going. Get the base going. I need to put my Kevlar vest on to take some bullets. I gotta fucking vest up. You got some nice little base, some eggs, some toast.

Oh yeah, dude. I'm three chomps in, I'm saying gear up, boys. Frozen home fries? Chop them up. Chop up those french fries from lunch. Get it cooking. I never... I mean, it's fucking trashy. First of all, you're eating breakfast at the wrong time and then adding booze to it.

I respect it, but I gotta go by code here, it's trash. My brother in Christ, I am not looking for the, I know this is trash. Sure. You're looking to make sure that it's, this is okay that you're trash. I guess I would just go, I'm not having a beer with it, I'll drink whatever beverage I choose,

and then I'm cracking a beer right after. I wouldn't wanna mix that. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not having a beer with it. I'll drink whatever beverage I choose. And then I'm cracking a beer right after. I don't, I wouldn't want to mix that. I don't, I'm going to be honest. I don't like, I never liked drinking alcohol with my meals. I was on this. I've just, as I've gotten older. Even wine with dinner? Never on a date.

If I'm trying, if I was trying to get laid, I would. I love that combo. I didn't care. I would rather have a soda. I'd rather have a ice tea. Down the same way. And I don't like mixing them per se. Because when I was drinking, I was drinking.

It's functional to me, yeah. I was drinking to drink. I mean, you were running from something, Daniel. My own brain, baby. I tried to shove it. That's funny, on a date she gets a Cosmo, you're like, oh, the brisk. Yeah, do you guys have Sprite?

She goes, okay. Two cherries. But that's how it was after I quit drinking and I'd go on dates, you know What would be the move coke a good club club soda? Club soda with a little dignified. It looks like a drink unsweetened iced tea. I love it Once I switch can't say anything. You cannot say anything about a guy ordering an unsweetened iced tea. It's just a guy that's trustworthy an unsweetened ice taste. It's just a guy that's trustworthy. It's just a guy that you can really rely on.

Lemon, no lemon. No lemon. No lemon. Unless I'm feeling it, you know, then I'll give it a little squirt and fucking cast aside. But also, breakfast and dinner, it's weirder if you're drinking orange juice.

I would probably, when I would have my dad- What are you taking, your vitamins, though? Have a fucking beer. Hey, put on some cartoons. Read in the paper. Why don't you wear some footsie pajamas you fucking psycho I got those on of course. Yeah, I would probably do ice tea ice tea with it when I was a kid I would do breakfast my dad would do breakfast for dinner. We'd have while while you know half a gallon of while while he's tea That's probably with that or a high C. That's great

I probably have dinner anyway you cracked it high C splash of vodka. I probably have that with dinner anyway. You cracked it. High C. Splash of vodka? I mean, we're doing breakfast for dinner. You're making breakfast because those kids ain't coming this week. Have you ever ordered a screwdriver at a place? Yeah, I mean, screwdrivers were like, get me there fast. That's dirtbag shit. A screwdriver? I would fuck it, dude. I remember I worked in Tucson at this radio station, KFMA.

Shout out KFMA. Shout out. Largest Southwest concert in America. It was awesome. I worked in Tucson at this radio station KFMA. Shout out KFMA. Shout out largest Southwest concert In America, it was awesome on a Tuesday Qualifiers. Yeah, I'll keep going down with bands from the 90s but we I was like 20 and I was working the big concert offspring was headlining and I drank like eight the big concert Offspring was headlining and I drank like eight screwdrivers. It's too many.

Blacked out. Yeah. Don't remember being on stage for Offspring. What was the vodka that you remember? Pop-off. Yeah, I was gonna say. Same pop, same pop-off vodka. It's never Belvedere.

Never. No, we did screwdrivers, pop-off vodka in my buddy's garage listening to Billy Joel. I just discovered Billy Joel, probably 16. Listened to Billy Joel cranking heaters. He had a couch in the garage. Take me there. And buddy, I fell.

Cole was probably Autumn Knight. I fucking fell to where the ground comes up to you. You know? Oh, yeah. And like I stayed straight. I fell. Yeah. And that, but dude, right through it, like a card table. And I just fucking Richie movie it was fucking bad you want to know what? I bet you're wondering what happened. It's a cold August night, Pennsylvania

Oh, kevie over there said too many screwdrivers problem is that cold table can't held his way Yeah, did I take me back? I remember? that's the problem is that code table can't hold his wife. Yeah, dude. I take me back. I remember having a good. I remember having a crush on a girl in high school. She had a boyfriend but we made out and

it and it like home record. Nice dude but it was like I had been waiting for that one. I had been going to her house and listening to music in my car with her smoking cigarettes is flirting knowing she was a taking lady and then we made out and I was friends with the guy. Did the dude know this? I was gonna say he found out end of friendship haven't

spoke to him since. But did he know you were going over there to listen to tunes and craze? No, I want I was telling her to break up with him. I was like you should break up with him. We should make this clean. This guy's working from the inside. Jesus. We weren't close. We were associates. Okay. Friends of friends and we made out fireworks. There you go. Fireworks. Made out twice. I went back to her house. Fire. At that point, you know, it's, you know, it's unlocked. And then she told, she was like, I told my boyfriend, I'm staying with him. He wants to kill you. He's on his way here right now.

Yes. That kind of thing. I go, I was like, huh? You know what you're doing? No, no, no. I think you meant we're in love. Uh-huh. No, no, no. I'm staying with him. I told him about you. He hates you.

All of his friends are gunning for you now. And you're like, anxiety. You slid the mixed tape back into your pocket. But I already got this tattoo with your name on it. I was bringing over a recipe for your mom. Could you handle this guy or no? Yeah, I probably could have push comes to shove I probably would I didn't want to I felt bad his boys are looking for you, too That's a little excessive posse his boys were smoking new ports. I could have punched him in the chest and shattered

Uh wasn't afraid of them, but I felt bad. I felt genuinely bad for him and um, sure did he confront you? No, never spoke to me. Never spoke to me again. You're in high school We had a huge with three thousand kids in our high school damn you don't have to see buddy you don't want to say okay, but uh blend in I Was so heartbroken that I drank to Rock two pint glasses of absolute Citron from under for my mom's liquor cabinet. That's gonna be a hard every everybody had that with

Do is Pepsi with a lot with a lemon sounds very refreshing. I'm so glad I get to take you guys back 2001 Aurora, Colorado in my garage in the Dodge Stratas, my car. Absolute Soder. Absolute. See it. And I would do, so I'd take this, I'd take from Papa, there was the,

I remember the pint glasses from Papa Do's, the restaurant in Denver, and I had a Papa Do's glass full of Absolute Citron, and I would go, I'd just fucking slam like two chugs and then Pepsi right finished one felt Phenomenal hasn't caught up yet your your process you you're only your body's only processing the first two shots not the pint glass Kevin I am in my garage ripping heaters car door open my mom My mom's car is there, so my car door is open, so I'm doing the slide thing in my car, bumping different songs, and then, I'm not proud of this,

my friend comes over, I drink a second glass, to the point that he's like, this is too much. And then he leaves, and I cried, we were talking about cry-smoking, I cried smoke to Dave Matthews band. Which one? Crash? You know what it was? It was the Steve Lilly White tapes got leaked. What the hell are you talking about?

Dave Matthews band fans know what I'm talking about. And if you grew up a white guy in Colorado, you probably liked a little DMV. These are live show tapes, I assume. Well, it became the album Busted Stuff but before it came out it was called the Lily White Tapes. There's a song on there. I don't think you're making those names. I'm not. It's a Busted Stuff and Ragged Rocks. People are gonna follow this and they're gonna go he's right he's right but there was a song on there called Bartender and I was blackout drunk and I remember weeping to that and then having the worst 48-hour hangover I've ever had in my life. I would have stayed with the guy too. She was right. She made the right choice. She's a she's a mom now. God bless her. You keep tabs on her?

Her sister came to my show in Virginia and heckled me. Jesus. And I was like, who are you? She like said something about my past. I go, how the fuck does a heckler know that about my past? I would find what a freaked that. You used to cry in your Dodge Stratus, pussy. I used to watch you. She was the little sister. So she definitely was like, I used to watch you outside the window. You're in love with my sister. And then her and her husband came backstage. And I was like, your sister's a huge dumb whore. No, we actually hooked up in our twenties.. Whoa. Yeah, I righted that wrong.

God bless. Look at you. Huh? It was pretty sick. You didn't tell her the bartender story, did you? No. I acted like it was no thing. I remember it.

She let me fuck. She definitely didn't hear the story about I was a pathetic, crying loser. Hey guys, that's against Guy Cooke. That's breaking Guy Cooke. Coming up is drinking water gay. I'm going to crying loser. Hey guys, that's against Guy Cooke. That's breaking Guy Cooke. Coming up is Drinking Water Gay. We gotta wrap it up. Ladies and gentlemen, one of the absolute best in the business.

One of my faves. On stage and off, Mr. Dan Soder. Hear him every week on his amazing podcast. Soder, absolutely fantastic. Buddy, what else you got coming up? I got some big shows coming up. When does this come out? Sunday. baby. Oh go birds. Go birds. Fuck the Chiefs. Fuck the Chiefs. Niners are winning next year. Sorry We're gonna have to probably go through you guys next year. Um, I

Am on tour. I got a big announcement coming up about some live dates. Big, huge. Very very big announcement probably at the end of the month, maybe beginning of March, but I am in Huntsville, Alabama at Levity Live, February 20th through the 22nd. Then I will be in California. I'm doing the Balboa Theater in San Diego. As of now, I'm doing the United Theater March 1st in Los Angeles. However, due to what's been going on in Los Angeles, there might be a chance we have to move that to the fall. Okay. That might be a chance. I'm not saying in the fall. Judo, what's been going on in Los Angeles? There might be a chance we have to move that to the fall. Okay. That might be a chance. I'm not saying it's news.

I'm saying if it is news, it's breaking on, are you garbage first? This just in, Matt Pinfield. March 2nd, shout out, Matt Pinfield. Hope you're doing well. March 2nd, I'll be at the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco. And then March 8th, I will be in Grand Rapids for Gilda's Fest.

I'm gonna be headlining Gilda's Fest Saturday night, March 8th. DanceOder.com for tickets. I love you guys so much. We love you. Buddy, we always say you are truly one of the funniest stand-up comedians. One of my faves.

Thank you, I love you guys so much. 100% absolute killer. Appreciate you. Kip me. Skate City, I love you. Skate City. Eight bucks for a session. That ain't bad. Kevin, what do you got for him?

Guys, like we said earlier, we are on the road as well. Tickets are moving fast. Next Sunday night, we're going to be in Austin, Texas. The creek and the cave. Austin, Texas. Come see us. Get your friggin' tickets. That's gonna go. That'll go for sure. We haven't even really announced it.

Yeah, we love you. We'll see you out on the road. Also, special drop in this. Just say, get tickets. The Route 66 special will be dropping February 25th. Check that out on our YouTube page. Do it. Love you gang. See you next week. Peace.