Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Jail on the First Date w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

Kippy and Foley are back with a family ep baby! It's a fun one. Love youse guys, Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG

Kim, let's talk about that middle-class famous tour, baby. Those sweet, sweet live shows. Woo, about to be kicking in the high gear. It's a stand-up comedy show with a little AYG that we play with the crowd. Great way to introduce new people to the show. So grab the squad, grab the homies, grab the bozos, grab your best girl, grab your best guy,

and come out and see us. Yeah, guys. First date is going to be Red Bank, New Jersey. That, it will sell out. Let's go. Get those tickets. And we're in Seattle, Portland, Kansas City, Springfield, St. Louis, Nashville.

Come on. Man, up there to Indy. Get your tickets. Like the big man said, it's a great time. These live shows are bonkers. You've seen Eclipse. Link in the description. Do it.

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Oh, yeah.

Little show we sit down with. I got them. Take that, Tootie. We're having a good time. Little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out that you're going to be classy, or just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.

We're down here at Ann Tootie's basement. A little bit of a somber mood upstairs with her. Oh, no. Just cut off the phone with her lawyer. OK. It turns out that she's going to have to drop the case that she has against the good people at 7-Eleven. Oh, no.

Turns out they caught her putting the cup of coffee in the microwave before she threw it into her own face. OK. So the lawsuit's dead. But we still got the CVS thing working out, so it could be a short house in our future. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is a family episode.

We got to do a bit of a screening job on these writers. I'll tell you that right now. Holy cow. My co-host is the CEO, the founder, the executive producer of RU Garbage. He's an international businessman. He's the prince of Park Avenue, but always the king of the boards, baby.

Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. Somebody's anglin' for a raise. Hey, what's up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are.

Trader up. Cookin'. And then, obviously, head over there, pull up the computer, fire up the dell, the gateway, whatever you got. Macbook, www.patreon.com. Slash RU Garbage. You can sign up. You get bonus episodes of AYG every week.

You get bonus episodes of Heart Feelings by the week, which is the runaway pod of this century, I would say. Golden Globe nominated. Yeah, that's like the real behind this. If you like this show, that one gets real fucking wonky. It's like gun smoke over there. Yeah, a lot of yelling, a lot of finger pointing, a lot of icing. It's the show behind the show.

Check it out. Yeah, if you do sign up for the Patreon there, make sure you got your bit rate turned up, because there's a lot of product over there that you can fucking download right in. Write it to your home, right into your brain. Terabytes. Terabytes.

Where's that? I don't know. Sounds like a. So where's that? I thought it was a restaurant. Trying to get a table of terabytes for two months. Drop my name. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer

extraordinaire, the Magic Man, makes us all look good. We love them. You love them. Give it up for T-Bone, McMuffin, Toby, McMullen. What's up, dudes? What up, T-Bone? Looking fresh, looking stylish, looking chill. Thanks, dude.

Just want to give a quick shout out to all the boneheads out there. Oh, boo. Who's the bone? Who's the bonehead? Shout out to the boneyard. All the boners out there. Oh, man. You're getting a lot of love in the streets, man.

Listen, I don't hate it. I got to be honest with you. Well, I wanted to hate it at first glance. Kipby loves a good name. Man. You're going to be opening up for Dave Matthews with a name like that. Hey, man.

Shout out to Lawrence at the Motion City soundtrack show. Oh, man. That's good stuff, the boneheads. Well, put it on a t-shirt. We'll see how it does. You know what I mean? Toby buys six of them. Let the market dictate the demand.

This is capitalism at its finest, baby. Yes, sir. Gang Family episode, we're here. Went to the gastro guide today, the gastrologist over there. OK. You ever get a good doctor and you're like, fuck, man. You're fucking awesome. And it's just fucking great.

I got a little nervous when I walked in there when I went to give him my copay, $50, no big deal. Cash only. Cash only at a doctor's. What is it, a dive bar? Where you at, fucking old hands? Cash only at a doctor. That's no bueno.

Dude, no shit. Oh, no, no. A dentist, maybe. I could see that with a dentist. But cash only at a doctor's office? What's a credit card machine then? There's an ATM machine. Whacks you over the head for five beans

for the fucking surcharge. Five beans at the machine, five beans in my bank. Surcharge me getting fucking hand up. That's like a strip club stuff. Here's the thing. There was an ATM out in the hall. Of course there was, dude. But he's awesome, man.

What part of Queens was it? Because it was a Manhattan, I'll tell you that much. This has fucking Barrow written all over it. That was a deep Kentucky. That's no good. I mean, I get that he's a nice guy and everything. No, he's a great doctor, though. Yeah, he's just.

How big is Pinky Ring? What do you mean? That's crazy, dude. That's insane. Shouldn't you have gloves on? Nah, nah, we're good. We're good. Man.

Why, you've been getting strange lately? It sounds like you got some good insurance over there. Oh, man, I don't. My Metro card and my insurance card are the same card. Yeah. My wife keeps going to doctors and I don't have the heart to tell her that what our coverage is noble.

She's used to German universal healthcare. You go whatever for whatever. She's on there with yours. Yeah, and I got like, I got like, I got like collision. That's all I got. I got like just in case I hit somebody else type thing. For bar fight purposes.

Two black eyes a year at Congress. And a boxer's break. But she's going to all these doctors. Kibbie's not getting Tommy John surgery. No, no. He's the guy doing it. She's going all like, you know, she goes for checkups and this and that.

And you know. It was the last time you were at a doctor. I mean, I don't want to talk about it. Yeah. I don't know, 15, 20 years. You're probably good then. The last doctor I went to, that is a lot, I'm probably good then. That's your logic.

Well, yeah, once you get over the hump, you're good. Right? If you haven't broke down now, you're coasting. The last doctor I, the last doctor I was actually like, I guess a sign to wasn't the word, but my last doctor, my last like doctor, I've seen more than once put it that way was my pediatrician.

And I went way, way too late in life to my pediatrician. Geez. Yeah. Hit that toy chest, huh? You know. Sitting on a race car. Yeah, it was bad.

But I haven't been to an actual doctor. I think I went for a physical, maybe when I like right when I got out of college, maybe to get a job or insurance or something like that. Trying to join the force. What's going on? They make you get a physical for a job? No, it might have been like.

What are you, a stunt man? About to jump the great guy. I never heard of such a thing. No, I think I was enrolling on my job's insurance. And maybe like I hadn't had a physical in like five years. Oh, okay. In order to get enrolled, you know, you have to, I think I had to do, I think that was it.

They make you go. But you ever, anytime you go, I guess it's older as you get older, except when you go to a different doctor, you walk in and you're like, you know, there's nothing what I'm used to. No, it's no good, man. It's no good.

Jackshack. Yeah, other than the ATM machine and the cigarette. Cigarette machine. And the crabs game going on in the corner. Dude, don't stop going to that guy. Play pin, play pinball while you wait. You walk in, put a stack of quarters on the pool table. I'll be back in Toronto.

I got next. I'm in line, daddy. Holy shit. Ah, chi-machi. Oh, he's put me under the knife in August. For what? I'm gonna get an endoscopy. Get the pipes checked out.

They're we're gonna go back and do a colonoscopy. Get it all worked out. All right, well, like Chinese finger cuffs. I got them coming in both ends. This is very Patreon content, by the way. We're letting the good people, iTunes and YouTube, hear about your butthole. This is stuff they gotta pay for.

All right, that's patreon.com. People would have closed off, but he never does. People say that's their favorite ongoing bid. I call for a close up and Toby never goes to it. And you don't get it. Love a good bid. You don't put your gum in your drink, right? We've discussed that. Yeah, no, what?

No, you don't put it in the soda. You don't like bubble, like back in the day, you don't like bubblegum at the bottom of the soda when it gets hard. I don't like... No, that ruins the, the what? I think it's like, it makes it, it makes it like new gum again. I understand what it does. That's not new gum, it's hard.

Gum is soft. You always say that it makes it new again. It revitalizes the flavor. No. Okay. Does not. Well, by accident, while I spit my gum out in a Pellegrino bottle a couple of days ago,

and I've gotten into the bad habit of just drinking whatever drink is in the car. Unless it's... Oh, like old backseat drinks? Yeah. Do you remember, do you remember that Red Bull you got me last week? Yeah. I finished that off yesterday around two-ish.

Cause it wasn't really that hot. It wasn't hot. If it's really, really hot, it's in there. You're like a raccoon for energy drinks. Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah. It's in there. That's how you get botulism in shit.

I don't think so. I don't think it's... The only thing I don't worry about is if it gets really hot in the car, the microplastics can get into water. That's already happening, I think. I know. I want you to know it, brother.

We're either coming or going. You know what I mean? All right. Yes. You should stop to find a new doctor and stop doing that. Okay. I signed a year contract with him before. 12 month lease, first let's security.

Get a free cell phone though. And I don't know if to change my number. Guys, this is a family episode. As you know, when you sign up for that there, Patreon, the aforementioned greatest website of all time, you will, we will answer your garbage question on here. On here.

On the air. That's how we do it. That's how we do it. People are loving it. Thank you very much. This one, this is from T.T. Jarrah's tuna can. Shout out to Chrissy D and the whole squad over there. The whole squad over there.

Never had, this isn't a question. More of a story, yes. Never had one. Yes. Been here a long time, $10 homie. I got hit by a car in eighth grade. My parents must have got the worst legal team ever because they only squeezed the person for 13 on.

For hitting a kid? Jesus Christ. Then my parents turned around and took half of it to fix the roof of the mobile home we lived in. Ooh, that's bad. Dude, you get fucking hit by a Toyota. You only get 600 after tax. Talking about taking one for the team, huh?

Yeah, that's real. That sucks, man. We had a kid got hit. Eighth, seventh, eighth grade skateboarding. Yeah, fucking mulch, pretty bad. Were you with him? No, no, no, no, I didn't witness it. He got, he got fucking ran over and like,

he's fine now. Shout out. But he got like a couple hundred G-Hods. Couple hundred? Couple hundred. He got his beak right then. I think his parents gave him like 10 or something. He got some cash up front.

Because they knew it was coming? No, so like he got the settlement. And obviously when you're like fucking 13 or 14, like your parents are gonna go, well, here's 400K or whatever, 250Gs. So they gave him a little, to play with, not play with, whatever, get a new bike, get a fucking, you know, whatever.

I don't know. How about a helmet, huh? How about some elbow pads? So he got that, and then he, then when he turned 18, he was able to really start. Blowing through it. Pretty sure there's probably about zero of that. If I had to guess.

Ooh, you mix a perc noodle or two in there, you're in trouble. Man, that's no good. It had to be like a FedEx or UPS or something. Oh, it was a woman, an insurance company covered it. This broad had fucking, usually the policy caps out at 100K,

and this was fucking in the 2000s. I don't know, man. Damn. Yeah. I still had Jackie Childs. He got a good amount of scratch for it. It really fucks you up. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe she had money too, it came from that. Who knows? Ooh, maybe. It was a nice neighborhood. Not really, it wasn't. Little hush money? It was on the outskirts of town.

That's a good racket. People doing it all the time, jumping in front of cars. Yeah. Do it a lot in Europe. What? No, it's Russia. Russia, they do, that's what they do.

Yeah, and the burden of proof, that's why there's so many dash cam videos in Russia. The burden of proof is on the driver. Mm-hmm. Like, if you go, that guy hit me, they go, all right. They just like, you know, they just take your word for it.

Throw a couple of rubles your way. Yeah, so that's why everything, that's why there's so many dash cam videos, because everybody's like, well, fuck this. Man. Yeah. I heard a lot of them oligarchs came from that. Getting hit, so they made their money.

Slippin' falls on the dash cam. Slippin' fall oligarch. You hit me in your Hugo, fuckin' ship the Cheddar, will ya? Slippin' fall to a nickel mind. Fantastic. I like the, not questions, the story. I was just gonna say, I love the stories, yeah.

It's a little different and you get like, that could never be a question. You know what I mean? Like, there's no way you could get that level of dirtbagness across. It's also, it's probably like 20 years ago, he's still upset about the $13,000, which is fantastic. All right.

This one is from Katie, $10 homie, never have one read it. Is it trash to add the letter T to the end of cousin? I'm looking at you, Kippy. Jesus. Yeah, I do say cousin. Cousin. My cousin. That's not right, but my cousin.

What the fuck is that? Where are you from? That's not a Philly thing. My cousin, yeah. This guy's a spy. You know my cousin? Yeah, that's Philly for sure. Oh yeah, my cousin.

All right, there you go. You know my cousin? My cousin might. Sells bills? Yeah, we know him. Yeah. Where's Gene Shortz and a white pair of sneakers in the winter?

Yeah. Shout out to the Kensington Cruisers. Reebok classic. Oh man. I think I might've mentioned that. I got a brand new pair of Kensington, brand new pair of Reebok classics. I thought I was the shit.

How old are you? 13. I suppose your mom let you wear them. What do you mean? What do you mean? That's fucking, that's dope head shit. Yeah, I mean. Dressing like a dope head?

Patty knew all about that. She didn't let us wear that shit. Oh, it really worked out for her, huh? See, if I had on white socks and they were pulled up to my shin, she'd freak out. Yeah, what are you, a cholo? Where do you park the low rider?

Who's doing that? No one's doing it. You're Cripwalking the dinner and stuff. What are you talking about? High socks. What's that represent? What are you talking about? I just pictured myself Cripwalking through panties.

Buttonholes in the floor. Not kidding. Screaming at you. No guns at the table. Well, I grew up in the era, I was a little kid in the era of high socks before. High socks to me represented, I get it's a time period, but dorks.

You wore your socks high, I wasn't, I mean, it was ankle socks back when I was banging. You know, I know. That's what I'm saying. Now these cool TikTok kids with the floofy hair, they all wear the high socks. Yeah, they wear the high socks. And they're short shorts.

Don't think I haven't noticed that. I love the, because when I was in the 80s, like magic in all of them, all the basketball players, they wore their socks up to their knees and they had the stripes on them. Short, yeah, the tube socks. Yeah, they were fat.

Cropper tube, the red and the blue. Yeah, they were nice. So I, you know, I was caught in between those two worlds. Was that drug representative gangs? No, no, not at all. But she knew that when people started wearing the Kensington Cruisers and the socks in the middle, she knew that meant, you know,

she'd been a, she'd been a wanna maker's Christmas tree and up time. She'd been around a block a couple of times. Yeah, she knew what was going on. I saw some scenes, some seedy characters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You put those things on, you're starting nodding out immediately.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a tough look. But I walked into Christmas one time. I felt so cool. My cousin Brendan and him, he with the Kensington, nice pair of Kensington Cruisers. I was devastated to say the least. Went home barefoot.

Man. The dudes in my family can hone in on something that the one minor change you've made and say it so like, not matter of fact, but also dismissively. Like, you know, as you're hugging him, he's like, hey, cool haircut. You're like, oh, fuck.

I rocked this thing just in here for a little bit. We talked about that. The soul patch. Yeah, just this. Ooh, man. I showed up to somebody's christening. Fucking. Bing, bing, bing, bing.

You look like you're on meth. If you show up to somebody's, not even your knee. I showed up to somebody's christening. It was a friend of a friend of a friend. I showed up to someone's christening with my soul patch. It was a grown man. It was in a lake.

Man, that shit is so weird to me. That's gotta be garbage. That's gotta be a garbage question. We've talked about it. Have you ever been baptized anywhere other than a whatever? When you start getting outside the cities, they do that stuff. It's probably more religious

and probably feels good to do it. Give him a Marco Polo going. Not in a pool, you idiot. They do it in the pool. Doug Smith. Yeah. Previous guest. I'm a crazy person.

Shut up, Doug. Shut up, Doug. I love you, Doug. No, but in a river or a pond. Doug Smith's a good looking guy, too. Sweet looking kid. Man. I'd like to take a run at him.

He has 1940s movie star eyes. They're that kind of blue. Yeah, it's real like Daniel Day-Lewis-esque. Yeah. A lot of character in the face. Yeah, I think I mentioned them last week or not, but Dylan McDermott has those kind of blue eyes. You've been mentioning Dylan McDermott

for, I don't know, about two and a half years. I don't know who he is. Dude's hot. Keeps it tight. He was in Hamburger Hill. He was in... Always food with you. He was in Ice Cream Lane.

He was in Hamburger Hill. He was the main guy in American Horror Story. Cheesesteak Avenue. Yeah, I think, I guess I know. Super good looking dude. T-Bone, you got him? Yeah, he's the guy who you see in a movie and you're like, oh yeah, that guy.

That guy, yeah, I figured. Yeah. Was he in like, yeah, whatever, doesn't matter. Not to be confused with Dermott Mulrooney. He can kick rocks. I don't know who that is. First name, Dermott. Oh, thanks.

Nah, he's good, he's good. He's not Dylan McDermott. I remember some kid hit me one time in elementary school, we were a beefin' right, you know? Yeah. Going back and forth? Going back and forth, yappin', you know. Little fat kid like you, how'd it keep your mouth shut?

Me? Yeah. I think that's, I mean, that was obviously the go-to of... You were ready for that. Yeah, what? Come on. But the kid hit me with... Throw a slim jib, catch that in the air.

Now you're all in deep, big trouble. He hit me with, at least my mom could afford to buy me a last name. Ooh, get that guy on the show. That's fuckin' nice. Yeah, but it didn't hit. No shit. It didn't hit, it was more like, what's this guy?

I get that every once in a while, he has two first names. It doesn't click to me. For some reason, Ryan, though I know it's a first name, sounds like a perfectly reasonable last name. Maybe it's the Irish. You've heard it so much, yeah. Well, yeah, and also two of my cousins their last name is Ryan.

Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. It's not a very common. It'd be Nolan Ryan, Meg Ryan, Kippy Kevin James Ryan. Meg Ryan. AKA KJ, AKA KJ.

KJ, Kev. Yeah. Kev never took off. Kev sells weed. Kev's no good. Kev's no good. When we go camping, you'll be Kev. That's a Kev party camp.

I had a picture today, because we're closing in on that fucking, that goal. And the idea today of us going to fuckin' dicks and like fuckin' gearin' the fuck up for that is gonna be so much fun. Can we get hatches and machetes? Oh, we're gettin' everything. What about those pants that go up

so you can go in the river? The waders. Yeah. Yeah, you can shower in them if you want. Kev, let's talk about Butcher Box, baby. Butcher Max. Summer grilling season is upon us. And full swing.

Do you wanna have garbage that you get from the fuckin' grocery store? Do you wanna have free-range chicken, free-range turkey, wild-caught salmon, fuckin' ground beef that's grass-fed, grass-finished? Talkin' about top quality meat, all in one delivery system to your door in a freezer. Get ready to go when you're ready to grill.

Yeah, gang, do not be a bozo when you're tryin' to throw a barbecue to someone. You don't wanna ruin Fourth of July, you know? You're a patriot or what? You don't wanna ruin it. You don't wanna ruin Fourth of July for the whole goddamn family, all right? Puttin' a win?

Do it right. Every month, Putcher Box ships out a curated selection of high-quality meat right to your home, free shipping for the continental US, no antibiotics, no hormones, packed fresh, ship-frozen, for convenience, so you can save time and money on your next grocery store trip.

High-quality meat, delicious 100% grass-fed, free-range chicken, pork-raised, crate-free, and wild-caught seafood. Look at that. Check it out. At an unbeatable value, it's less than $6 per meal on average. Look at that.

Hashtag, what have we done? Yeah, there you go. Get Summer Sizzlings started with this special Putcher Box offer for our listeners. Free bacon for life. Holy shit, they're doing bacon now? We're back, free bacon for life. These guys are boncos.

With a membership plus $10 off, sign up at butcherbox.com.au, use code AYG to get one free pack of bacon in every Butcher Box for the life of your membership, plus $10 off your first order. That's butcherbox.com.au, use code AYG to claim a steal, do it now, back to the show.

Back to the show. Full camo, maybe an orange hat to let the other hunters know I'm there. Yeah, no shit. Not getting fucking, not taking one to the back of the head, thinking I'm a rhino. Yeah, some weekend warrior with a 22 and a bad shot.

It's fucking trigger-happy. And also, you gotta be careful with the camo, too. That's how a fucking moose will sneak up on you. You gotta wear that orange shit, let him know. Also, 2P, they're a deer. Do you ever see those videos of- Oh, fuck, I forgot. What?

Ticks, man. I ain't going up there. Chicks, man. We're sleeping in a camper, you bozo. We gotta get some off. Or some anti-tick repellent. Maybe I'll get one of them collars. I got some pills at the house for Hansy, I'll feed you.

Take one, I'm starting to have you gotta take one every month. Yeah, I don't like ticks. Got deer up there. But if you paid, there's deer urine. You can buy deer urine to attract them, right? I don't wanna attract them. I know, but hunters do. That's why you can go buy deer urine.

Yeah, we have buckies, they sell it. Yeah, and they attract. Do you ever see the videos of like deer fucking dudes up? Yeah. That's all because they, you know. Yeah. Too much deer urine. Yeah.

Put some deer juice on ya. Dudes start showing up looking to party. Yeah. No good. We should have, I wish there was a buckies around here. Could really gear up at buckies. Could gear up at buckies. We're gonna go to dicks or something, really, fucking.

Get a fishing pole, couple pocket knives, some fucking axes, couple coolers, some hats, stuff like that, maybe a flare gun. You don't think? A flare gun? We're gonna get. Fuck yeah. We're going to a campsite.

So? Shit goes down. We're gonna up shootin' the neighbor. Put all the snacks in a bag right now. Use it in a hold up. We get hemmed up, we start puffin' smoke. But the boys in the National Guard know we're still here. Come get us and bring some sandwiches.

We definitely gotta get bear spray. No we don't. Yes we do. No we don't. And handcuffs. I don't care what, sexual preferences. Cuff the bear. Okay.

All right, this is a T-Bone. I think we have touched on this first time, long time from Josh. Is it garbage to go to eat at a restaurant and bring your own hot sauce? Yeah. Yeah, right? I feel like it's a little condescending as well

of like I'm not gonna like whatever you have. I'm bringing this from home. It's a dick move to me. I mean, some, when you get to a certain level, brush, like does Gallagher's have hot sauce in there? I would say no. Hot sauce isn't for like good food. It's for like street food, chicken fingers, tacos.

Sure. Burritos. Sure. That kinda shit. I was puttin' hot sauce on a sriracha on a steak. Where'd the place you guys go? You and the Rubinoff's porch? Where'd you go?

Peasant? Peasant. Peasant. No hot sauce. I would. Yeah. What about like TGI Fridays in them? They got a bottle of something on the table, don't they?

Short caskos. Okay. Yeah, that's a fuckin' dickhead move. Not a dickhead move, but yeah, that's garbage. Yeah, it's not classic. And it also means that you're only eatin' in places that would have hot sauce. Like if you're bringing your hot sauce to a fuckin' place

to like a nice restaurant that doesn't have their own hot sauce, that's insane. I think takin' it, to me takin' it anywhere is proper crazy. If you went out at a nice date, you and the wife and another couple at a nice restaurant, you know, maybe like a no-boo or a fuckin' Gallagher or something like that, and the dude pulled out hot sauce. What, did I was with?

Yeah. Oh, we've moved tables. I would be, that would be the end of that, that. My wife does it. It is, on the other hand, it is an old school thing. You know, I bet you we know a lot of people that do it. I bet you there's some bozos out there that do it. My wife, we go to this, every time we're in Germany,

we go to this Erician, I believe it's pronounced, African restaurant in Frankfurt. Okay. It's really good, it's a mother and a son own it and run it, and it's like fuckin'. It's one of those things that comes out on like a big circle and like you take the bread and it's just piles of stuff. I gotcha.

Ethiopian food. Yeah, but I think it's a, I think this is Erician, but it's the same concept, yeah, it's the same concept as Ethiopian. Somebody just mentioned Ethiopian food to me the other day. Can't remember who it was, said it was awesome. Can't remember where it was. So you never had it?

Woo, do yourself a favor, you love it. Really, eat my hands. Yeah, uh-huh. There you go, take my masterpiece. It's great, it's just a bunch of little piles of stuff and a little of this and that, it's all different kind of meats, very good. Muchy, muchy.

And it's on like a crepe style piece of bread. That's what this person said, I can't fuckin' believe I can't remember who I was talking to about it. But she sneaks in and I didn't know, we've gone a handful of times, now I just know that she does it. Bird did this? I know.

Your wife? Yeah, cause- Wait, what? Yeah, cause some of the stuff's hot. Yeah? And she, so she sneaks in like a yogurt that she uses to put on it. What, I'll give it to her, she-

This is our head financier? I know. Listen, we go out to dinner with Ted Soros or something like that. She can't be ripping out a fuckin' thing at Chobani, I don't care what we're havin'. But she does ask. She does say, hey, it's a little hot.

Some of the stuff is a little hot and I need the, you know, whatever. What kind of yogurt? Strawberry banana? Hahaha. Frozen. Strawberry, shut up, there's strawberry banana yogurt. That's fuckin' all patty thought there was.

Oh, this gogurt's medicinal. Yeah. Stannin', it's in the little shooter. Oh, those little shooters, there's never enough of them things. Drinkable yogurt. But now we've gone so many times and she's done it. They know that like she brings it.

Listen, I- Does she do it in other places? No, no, no. Only there, only. They don't have yogurt back there? No, they don't have it. She think they would. I know, I know.

The first time she did it, dude, she reached into her purse and pulled out like a pint of yogurt. And I almost flipped the fuckin' table, dude. I was up. Cause also in New York- I can't believe you stayed with her, to be honest with you.

Get a little bit of cash. I needed to, at the time she was picking up the jack. What do you want? Can't be married for money. Yogurt money. But also that's a problem. That's a New York thing too. Our major city, I think it's becoming,

you know, the nicer restaurant, you're sitting on fuckin' top of each other in these restaurants. I fuck, it drives me crazy. We're like, if you sneak and you gotta like, oh, excuse me to like get to your seat? It's like- They do the ben seats around the thing.

That's where you get tight. Yeah, the big booth, and then they just stack 102 seaters, right? And you're like fuckin', it might as well be Thanksgiving dinner with strangers. I fuckin', I feel like they're listening to me. They're hearing me plot. They're hearing me talk shit about you,

you know, the whole nine yards. Jesus. Ah, what are you gonna do? Kippy's over here at terabytes talking shit about Foley. Get to terabytes. This one's just proper nuts. This is from Kyle,

is it garbage to wear a catheter for a road trip so you don't have to stop and pee? My dad drove from Massachusetts to Virginia to pick up my sister from college and refused to stop to pee. That's crazy persons. That's what that astronaut woman did with the diapers. That's even, do you know what a catheter exactly is?

You gotta jam that up as you're ether. I'm aware, it's a medical procedure. And apparently it's like super- That he's doing it in a station wagon. Super. With a spork. Yeah, fuck that. Yeah, it's painful.

Some of those mouth wipes after you get ribs. It's very painful. Yeah, that's nuts, man. Like that's like most dudes who go in for surgeries. Was she wanted or something like that? I mean, just picking her up. Man, that's like, that's crazy. That's wild. That's dad stuff.

That's like you've been a dad for too long. You can't pull over and take a leak. You're making great time. If somebody would, if some. I'm behind a semi. I'm drafting here. What a fucking pull over. I'm saving three miles per three miles per year.

Connie, here empty the bag, will you? That's crazy. I mean, if somebody's looking for you, if there was some kind of time constraint, just cause you didn't feel, I'm not stopping. A pee is made, a pee from stop, from pull in. Could be five minutes. Park, maybe wait in line, whatever.

If there is a light, we'll pull back out. Seven minutes tops, like prop. That's if you do a little stretch, maybe some of these or whatever. That's to not have seven minutes in like a, it's not like you're at seven minutes to a 15 minute drive and you're like, oh, this is doubling it or whatever. That's nuts.

That's gotta be a fucking, what was it, Massachusetts? To Virginia, it's gotta be like a 10 hour drive? Dude, I would have stopped and stayed the night somewhere. I know, I would have broken that up. Yeah, I know. And I tell you, I was just gonna say that you do stop way more than I would. And I like it.

On the road, so yeah. I'm gonna stop and stretch my legs for a little bit. Get out, rip a hand. Yeah, I like, That's peanuts. Yeah, I like to stretch my legs a little bit. It's good, it's good. We're never super, when we're driving from city to city,

we're never super hemmed up on time. And it's like, also. I knew there was this fucking guy, Jesus Christ, Dad. Maybe, you never know. Also, when we're on the road, sometimes it gets a little too, I gotta shake it up, because I'm in there. A little stale in the car?

Yeah, you might, you're on your phone or you're fucking old man nodding off. T-bones. T-bones in the back fucking hacking, you know what I mean? He's hardwired in. Fucking, we got Tommy fucking, little Bo Peep doesn't mums the word

with that fucking kid. Those, they're back there. They're back there commiserating. Yeah, and that's fine. But sometimes we do go and stretch it like 40 minutes where it gets mad quiet. And I'm up there fucking dozing off. I'm like, I gotta fucking,

you got the fucking AC cooking. I'm over there like fucking nodding out. I didn't get a great night's sleep. I had about fucking 19 beers the night before. I got rain sounds playing on the radio. Yeah. I'm fucking. Yeah, it's just like, dude, I'm like, I gotta fucking,

whoo, let's fucking shock the system here. Let's get the fuck out. Splash some gold water on my face. It's also like, it's not like we're making laughs and making rides. We're on a fucking highway for like 150 miles. I've been there, man. You're just looking at the same thing

and your brain starts fucking wandering. When the caffeine just stops working, it's the worst. There's only so many cups. So I got, I got to stretch the legs. I got to feel the heat from the outside, some fresh air, tall. And it also, it wakes you idiot's back up.

Oh, what a style. What are you going to get? I'm like, ah, cool, let's do a heater. And then we stop and then we get back in and we start shitting on the town that we just stopped in. You know what I mean? It's a conversation. And then about 45 minutes later,

you guys all pass back out. I got to do it all over again. Shout out to Barcelona PA. Barcelona PA. It's all right. Walleye tournament. You want to go back for that? Maybe that's where we go camping.

Go back for the tourney. That's not a bad idea. We go to Barcelona. When's the tourney? I don't believe it. I stole the brochure on me. I don't know, but did you see those fucking, they weren't Amish or they weren't Mennonites

because they hopped out of a car, had normal clothes on, but they had the Mennonite haircut and beard, which are Amish haircut and beard. Kevin, they were Dominican. Which was a weird vibe. Where it's like, how do you only hang on to the haircut and the beard? The haircut's the worst part.

That's what I'm saying. It looks like you all did it in the dark together. It's like, you're wearing fucking regular jeans and fucking sunglasses. Yeah, you got the- Fucking hit a haircut or something. You don't run around with the St. Jude cut. Get out of here with that.

He's still got the COVID cut going. Like you did it in your bathroom. I don't get that. You're talking about the bangs that come down. The bangs and then the Jebediah beer. Those three dudes, when we were in wherever we were, those three dudes hopped out of a new pickup truck. It wasn't even like a buggy or anything.

It's looking like the Shroots. Yeah, it was real beat former vibes. Mose, shout out to Mose. Ah, Mose was all right. Dude, but Mose is running next to the car and they're pulling up to the floor. Was that your, I might've been the first introduction of, did you ever see that episode?

I think I know what you're talking about. They're pulling down and they're like, yeah, this is Shroot Farms or whatever. Then Mose is just running at full speed next to the car looking in the window. God damn it. Mose has real neighbor from the Burbs vibes. Remember the son in that?

Sure. The sardine, the sardine and fucking Saltine Cracker Sammies. Let me ask you this. Let's take it up a notch. Let's get into contest. Yeah, of course. I'm not going to fucking tailgate the wall.

I'm getting in there. I'm fine. I'll get a captain. Let's do it. Let's go. We'll get the fishing license and everything. I think we just missed. God damn it.

He said it was coming up. Thank God. I didn't feel like doing any of that shit. But let's do a fishing tournament. That might be the next thing. We'll do like a proper fishing tournament. I know a couple of guys who could do a deep sea fishing tourney.

What are they biting on? Skettles. I was in a deep sea fishing tournament and that's one of the first times. The only time I saw Gallagher live, he was the entertainment for the show and he walked out. It was a very fancy, very expensive fishing tournament.

Was he doing it on the boat? No, it was like a huge tent for entertainment. It was like a big buffet and then a huge tent. Like huge, like fucking football field size, you know. That's Gallagher. And probably sell tickets back. He was just fucking taking out bite-sized snickers and a tennis racket and whaling them into the crowd

and just fucking beaming people in the head. I remember being like, this guy, I was like 13. I'm like, this guy's past his prime, I think. This guy, this is a money grab for this dude. These new bits? Yeah, like his heart's not in it, man. I can tell. Smash the watermelon, dickhead.

Let's go. Get on the roller skates. Let's do it. We're not paying for the new crap. Oh, man. Doggy. This one's from, I can't even pronounce it, Transylvania or something like that.

Is it garbage to you? This one kinda blew my mind. Is it garbage to use the cardboard carrier from an old six pack as a condiment organizer in the fridge? That is the smartest thing I think I've ever heard. It is. They kinda do it at like bars, like pubs or whatever. Oh, six pack.

All right, I'm thinking 12 pack of cans. That's just a box in the fridge. Oh, man, that's bad. You're supposed to use a shoe box. You're like, oh, really? A shoe box? You got a fucking set of nikes in there? But if I went for a fucking gold miller light

and there was cucumbers or something in there, I'd freak out. No, six pack. So it's like, yeah, that's cool. That's smart. Because if you keep them on the door and there's not enough, if it gets real jiggly, they fall, it's not fantastic. I'm doing this when I get home.

That's something you got to eat. We call this on my wife. You got a place for a yogurt. You got to keep those fresh, though. That's not a one-in-one. That's not for the whole summer. No, monthly, probably. Monthly, all right.

It spells or whatever, you know. Yeah. Hachimachi, that's a really good idea. That kind of blew my fucking, my tits off. Big debate that's been going on over at the Foley household is, is it trash to just set the toilet paper on top of the roll? When I, because we're-

Obviously, yeah. But when you, but it's better- No, it's trash. No, listen, it's better to fucking roll it in your hand. I know. Do you want my opinion on it? I understand where you're going. Because sometimes it pulls, it rips.

I like fucking, just right in my hand, do my thing. I know, but then the problem, the issue with that is everybody's shit fingers are all over that thing. The left hand doesn't have shit fingers? Listen, it's- You're getting poop on your left hand? I'm not getting poop on. What are you, what?

What are you, wiping with both hands? No, I'm just saying, but like, that's your, you're handling a thing that shouldn't be handled. That's my, that's my germaphobe thought process on it, is you should just pull, rip. If everybody is pooping, let's say you got a house full of folies, all going in there.

You're not fucking, you're not sanitized. You're not doctors in there. You're not scrubbing in and out, all right? Lot of passouts over here, it's there. It's a lot of poop particles floating around. To me, I don't like it. If you go to a public stall and that's sitting there, I'm going, that's-

I like that better. I don't have to reach for it. It doesn't pull- What did it reach for? This is crazy. I understand what you're saying, but like you have to reach for it. It's never on the other side of the room.

You don't have to waddle over to it. It's fucking right there. Toby, is your toilet paper thing on the toilet paper dispenser? Yes, with an asterisk. Oh. So it's on the thing, but the way my- I used my hand.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Toilet paper. But the way that the door opens, it opens in front of, like it's the toilet paper rolls across- You close the door when you poop, you live alone. No. Okay.

So that one's just for show, but I got the real deal on the back of the toilet. There you go. There you go. Oh, you used the one on the back of the toilet. That's fine. Wait, let me just say this. Can you reach the toilet paper dispenser from your toilet?

I could if the door was closed, which it is not. Wait, if the door was closed, so the door covers it. Yeah. That's dry. Yeah, that's tough. You can't reach it.

By the sink. Holy shit. I also made the move of buying like a giant thing of like 35 rolls of toilet paper off of Amazon or whatever. That's just bags right there. Just right on the floor. She's- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of course, for sure. For sure. Trust me, I'm not saying I'm, you know, not, I don't fall victim to that. Sure. Especially in the moment, because I don't think in the moment you reach for it, let's just say you go into the bathroom,

the rolls on the thing, like on the spool, right? You run out, whatever, and you go to recharge. It's rare, I would assume. I don't think I've ever like put it on while I was pooping. That's just getting sat down while until I finish my business. And then I probably will leave it there

until I go back it or whatever, until it really clicks. And I'm like, what am I doing? And I throw it on there. It's a sense of like, and we get, you know, those the empty ones too, whatever reason that the trash can in the bathroom,

like never really clicked. Have you ever gone just wipes? Have you ever run into toilet paper, not replied it, not refreshed it, but the wipes are still in there? I don't like it. Oh, I go, I've done all the wipes. I need to dry off, I feel.

Really? Yeah, otherwise I'm fucking slipping out of my seat. Oh, juicy that. Yeah, I don't like it. Sorry, I like it. I gotta, yeah, I don't do the wipes though. Really? No.

I don't know if I can say that. I don't think you're allowed to either. Well, I'm a fan. Are we? I don't think so. I wouldn't say we are. Let's see where the chips fall. You know what I mean?

Let's see where the turkey is. I could be. All right, this is John. Among your family photos on display, is there a photo of a relative at a random famous person's grave? That is bad. Dude, I just thought about that yesterday.

Randy Rhodes is fucking Tombstone or something. That's a fucking tough look. Roddy Roddy, Piper's a Muslim. Shout out to the Piper. No disrespect about this. Nothing. I thought about that, because I was listening to the doors yesterday

I was getting ready. That's a big one, I think. They still hold up and we went to fucking Jim Morrison's grave in Paris. Yeah, and I thought that's trashy. Did you take a picture in front of it? Of course. Really?

Yeah, doing fucking air guitar. Fucking melting some faces over there. Babe, fucking plug me in. I don't know if we took a picture of that. I think we took a picture in front of Edith Ploff, but I think that's classy. Who's that? Is that a dessert?

A Ploff? Isn't it? Is that a coconut? I mean, I knew you. I knew you were a big dessert guy, but God damn. You think it would be? Hunting down the inventor of your favorite fucking treat.

The guy who invented the banana split. Jimmy splits. I'm weeping at his grave. Like a winner. You're thinking of Ploff Rice. Yeah. This is a French woman. I believe she's French.

Edith Ploff, she was a singer. If I'm not mistaken, she's the one that sings the song in... It's just weird. You keep saying I'm not sure if I'm not mistaken. It's really good to the woman's grave that you don't know anything about. Well, she's famous, right?

The bird knows her. I thought she invented the pull and peel twizzler. It was her idea to put the fruit by the foot. It's gonna say fruit by the foot. Everybody else was doing inches. She said, let's do it by the foot. No, the bird likes it. We went to a couple.

There's a bunch of famous people buried at this one, at the Paris Cemetery. Fuck, what's I gonna say? Oh, I believe she sings the song in Saving Private Ryan that I listened to, remember? She's saying in French, that could be wrong on that, but she's one of those type people. She has that kind of vibe, that kind of voice.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that's garbage, man. That's garbage. Although, going to Graceland wouldn't be a bad idea. Go see the king. He didn't, I don't know. It never, I guess. Really?

What? That was an Elvis fucking two days ago. Shout out to Burning Love. Yeah, I don't know. I just, it's so- Johnny Cash? I understand that. Kenny Rogers.

That's all so old person music to me. You don't wanna go to the gambler's grave? Heaven with Temptations. Smokey Robinson. Ooh, I've seen live in concert. I'll go to Smokey's grave. He died? No.

I don't know if I could owe me money. No, I think Smokey's all right. Little Richard, maybe? There you go. Now we're talking. There you go. I'm dumbed down, let's go. We were more of a Motown family.

Of course we were too. We were Motown all the way. Motown and oldies. None of that Beatles shit. Yeah, no. Nah. I don't think my mom even knows who the Beatles are. My mom and Patty was not a fan of the Beatles at all.

You drop fucking. Or the Stones, to be honest with you. It was more old school. Yeah. Big Bobby Dyeron household. The broads like the old. The crooners is what they're called. Yeah.

They were crooners. Fucking cleaning up back then. Fucking Frankie Valley. Doing dances out at the lake, just closing. Hopping an old Model T and bfff. Model T. How old is your mom, dude?

Bad luck. She's the guy with the Model T in 1955. On his way out of town. She still runs at the door every time she hears one of those. This one's from Brian. Ever been arrested on a date? I was pulled over for speeding, then put in a holding cell for writing a bad check.

My date bailed me out. I should have married her. Holy shit. You fucking should have. You should have, man. That's a ride or die broad right there. First date. Yeah, I would have, I mean.

He had a warrant out for writing a bad check. And they couldn't. I was pulled over for speeding, then put in a holding cell for writing a bad check. Wow. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, he probably had a bench ward out or something.

I don't know, something. Got jammed up. That's. Yeah, that's it right there. That's a bad look, man. That's tough. But that's also one of those things like if she does stick around,

then it's true because she's seeing yet you're fucking worse. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but she should have fucking married her. Speaking of stories, if any listener has ever been put into the holding cell of a stadium, fucking send us that shit.

A lot of Philly people have. Yeah. I'll tell you that right now. The vets was famous. It was fucking famous. My brother's boy got sent down there for getting into a fight. We went to a Philly's game one time.

Fucking nosebleeds at the vet with my dad on a Sunday afternoon. War. The, what? 700 level. Brudal. Yeah. That was a different breed of people.

Oh, it was like the Outer Rim. The 80s and 90s billies were. Absolutely brutal. That reminds me, I want to bring in the piece of the vet I have. It's a big rock. I don't know where we're going to put it. I guess.

I forget how fucking just Philly dirtbag It's the batting cage. My mom won't throw it out. It's been in my garage since the day they blew it out. Oh, that's not getting tossed out. No. Yeah, I'm like, we're not throwing out. That's the retirement fund.

That's my nephew's college. We had a piece of the Berlin Wall for a little while. My mom's. Berlin, New Jersey, you mean? Fuck you out of here. No, you did it. None of you left the country until like fucking three weeks ago.

I roommate of mine brought it back. You only charged me five grand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Berlin. It's the wall. You're nuts. Man, you got bamboozled. Patty's telling everybody. How many magic beans did he give you too?

Picked it up out front. Patty's telling everybody we got Sputnik in the garage. Is it garbage if your dad, stepdad, and brother are all named Rodney? It's not a good look. Rodney's a good name, though. Rodney's a good one. And then what we were playing with was at Pittsburgh, Randy.

Randy's all right, too. Randy's are all, there's very few classy Randy's, I would say. Did I ask the guy what Randy's the short form for? Probably Randall. I mean, probably most Randys are just named Randy. Yeah. That's what I have.

I keep forgetting about Randall. But I would assume if you're rockin' Randy, you're probably a Randall. Rockin' Randy's is all right. Your mom dated him. Get a cream soda at that place. It's short for Randall Randolph, as well as Bertrand.

And Andrew. Bertrand. I don't like when they flip up the name like that. Randy's not short for Andrew. It's like old Southern shit right there. Bertrand. And, no bueno. We should do a Patreon or one of us has to legally change her name to Randy.

How much money would it take? I just, but I don't have to go to the DMV. Ah, I'd be a pain in the ass. But I'd do it for free, guys, that's great. It's a good fit. It's pretty sweet. Yeah. You have to grow your hair out

once you change your name to Randy. Randy Foley, Randy Ryan's all right. Oh, that's pretty good. No, Randy Ryan. We're on to something here. Randy Ryan sounds like a whore from high school. Hey, I'll go back. I'll re-enroll, baby.

I just picture like, yeah, like, something like the Duke Boys' cousin, whatever, Daisy Duke. That's like a Randy Ryan kind of thing. I only knew the Jessica Simpson version of it. Ooh, Duke's a hazard. Friday night, eight o'clock. What year was that?

I feel like you watched, you know. Duke's a hazard, I remember watching in prime time. No, in prime time. What year was that out? I was probably, it was probably 80, 81. Really? I thought it was old. I guess I thought it was older.

Yeah, probably 80, 81, 82, maybe. Yeah, that and He-Haw. Watched He-Haw all the time. Like, oh yeah. First edition. I remember when the Muppet Show was on. We'd gather around the TV to watch those little fuckers. The way you talk, it sounds like it's in black

and white. You listen to fireside chats from Teddy Roosevelt or whatever. Everybody get around the fucking trousers. Ronald Reagan's fireside chat, is in here? Whoa, okay. Okay, we're gonna have to have a creative meeting. Fire my vocal coach. Yeah, man.

Talk about up-to-date impressions with H-Volley here. That's funny. All right, now hit Jefferson, go. The first call, it ran out. That's funny. That's funny. Louise Louise. All right, let's see here, this is from Antony.

Have you ever, have you or anyone you know gotten a gift card to a vape shop for your birthday? Man, those vape shops are just not cool. Nobody's doing the big ones anymore, right? I think it's, I think the Joules have taken over. That's taken over. And in New York, you can't do the fruity shit anymore. Somebody just sent me something

that they're outlawing all vape style stuff. Like you're not allowed to like the Joules, everything's going. Really, in New York? That's what I heard. No, I think like nationally they're pushing for it. It's got these kids hooked. These kids aren't smoking, but they're Jouling or vape

and all of them. Partying. And then that leads to haters, cause that's like fucking analog Joules, you know? It's real old school shit. Get the real deal. So now all these kids are puffing fucking stingers. Space cigarettes.

Yeah. You know who's loving that, Philip Morris. Yeah. Not me. I broke them all. That's true. Kip, he's been off the burnies. Kevin Ryan's guide to quitting smoking. He's giving me 10 grand and I'll pay out. I did it.

This one's from Alex Tonello. Shout out to Alex Tonello up there and Bastin. Mr. Tonello, shout out to Mrs. Tonello as well. Shout out to the Tonellos. Have you ever bought the floor model of a shoe? Yeah, recently. I just did it too. It's a bad.

You gotta really look to see if it's faded. You feel like a dirt bag. I feel like there's mustard on it cause you get like fucking mouth breathers coming from the food court with jammal cells. There's definitely poo particles all over that shoe. Oh yeah. That's no good.

That's a real tough fucking look to do that. It really is. It sucks, man. They get jammed up. They only have what size are you? 10. Typically, depending on the model. Yeah, I go 11 and a half.

They usually use that. But 10's typically the floor model. That's where you get jammed up. Or like 10, 10 and a half is like, cause that looks proportionately normal. Like a 10 and a half, like not on a body. You look at that and you're like, oh, I can picture myself in that.

If you put a 13 out there, people are like, what the fuck? It's a special permit for that thing? It's supposed to go in checks. What's going on? The boots that you guys made fun of me for that look like lady boots, the ones I bought in Syracuse. That were lady boots that you bought in Syracuse then yelled at me that you bought women's shoes

for some reason. They were floor models. Yeah, I mean, when you were at a DSW, everything's a floor model there, all right? They got you in the back working. DSW stinks. You can find a, I have found a couple of gems there. What's the deal with those places?

They fall off a truck. What's going on? It's like the, it's stuff that hasn't moved elsewhere or is a bit defective, I would presume. It didn't make the, you know. Two left feet rolling around. Yeah, fucking, oh, you're going there because I used to crush yours, dude.

Some of those boots in there are heavy. Some of those boots are out of control. Snow boots have gotten fucking way out of hand. Somebody's got to take them down to pick it though. Get rid of their Twitter, whatever you got to do. Dude, I'm not climbing the Matador this weekend. Dude, I've seen pairs of those in dicks like, who are these four, a Wookie?

What's going on? It's crazy. Nothing on Wookie? I mean, that was the most fucking 80s comic delivery I ever. What are these for all Wookie? All right, whatever. Let's send it here for the rest of the show. No, I agree.

I'm sorry. It was funny. But, DSW, this is my take. I'm not the, you know, I'm not the most stylish guy around. I don't claim to be. Okay. I claim, shout out to the black T-shirts.

I wore a gray one last week or two weeks ago. Someone goes, damn, Kippy's tropical. Casual Friday. But I can dress. I mean, for this, it's whatever, jeans and a T-shirt. I can dress to whatever situation I'm going in. You don't got to prove yourself. I'll give it to you.

Do have a little bit of an eye for fashion. Thank you. I go to you. And you don't listen clearly. No, I can operate in world. I mean, I can go to an event or whatever and not look like a fucking bozo, which I am. But use DSW to try to find something.

Spat, you go there for a find. You go there for- We're not going there for your fucking everyday shoes or whatever. No, I only use those places if I'm, if the wedding's tomorrow and I fucking don't, you got to get shoes. Who's yelling at you?

My mom. Your mom's, you're 46. Your mom's yelling at you about- She's reminding me that I need shoes. That the suit's at the house, but you got to get shoes in a belt. That's the only time I go to DSW. That's night before the SATs.

Sure. Or I'm saying you can find some nice gems in there every now and then. Something that's typically not there. You get there for 50% off or whatever. I would like to start kicking dock-siders again. The slip-ons? Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know, man. Parasperies. Sparies are all right. Maybe the light blue ones. I feel like it'd be a little too small on you. It would look like you're wearing ballet shoes. Because you know those nice polo sneaks I have, the white ones?

Debatable, but sure. What? That they're sneakers or that they're nice? That they're nice. They've started to bow out. Oh, yeah. They're leaning. Oh, when you know.

I mean, like, you can tell a fat man is in them. It's like- Can't you buy wides? I don't want wides. I don't want to. No, what do you mean? Look, I'm asking. I don't know what you're saying.

You're falling out of your shoes. No, I'm saying that they're so worn in that, like, you can, like, they've broken. Like the- Running shoes don't do that. They got to really, really dig in there. Yeah, tough look on that. Bad.

When you're not in them, that's when you see it. Like, when you see them over by the door, you're like, God damn, who's fucking shoes are those? Like, they're mine. It's like two kayaks. It looks like a cow was walking around in them, literally. And he was, technically. Man.

Okay. I'll do a stupatomar or something like that. Sounds good. This one from Jasper Tendallon. We've touched on this before. Is it garbage to reuse grocery bags to carry your lunch to work? It's a tough look,

and I think it depends on your commute. Yeah. If you're on the subway and you got, you know, that's a tough look, I feel. If it's Tupperware in there, you can tell. Yeah, I just feel like you, first of all, those bags have a shelf life of a bow from the store to the house.

Now, if we're talking about the reusable bags they're giving out at the grocery store these days. I've seen you get on a plane with those. God damn right. That's a little, I only knew York's doing that. That's a New York thing. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. New York and maybe like Philly or something. Oh, they're sweet. I love it. Target doesn't. In New York? Yeah, no, I think Target doesn't everywhere. A little, the reason we're talking about it,

they're all right, man. Maybe they do, maybe they don't, but I'm saying. You put anything in there. Yeah. As far as I'm concerned. I believe you. The second you pull out like from under the sink

out of the bag, out of the plastic bag that holds the bag, it's like, it looks like you've fucking, you hit it with an egg beater. It's all fucking crimpled up. You'll look and then you're. You're expecting dog shit to be in there. Yes, exactly.

The way I view it is like, there was a way I feel like, I'm walking out of the house, I'm going to work. I got my shirt, my tie, a pair of slacks. I got my fucking, my laptop, whatever. Kind of worked to you though. I'm an international business man. This guy's dressed to impress.

And then you're just carrying like a wrinkled bag with an orange and, you know, some penne vodka. And you're like, it just, it doesn't. Last night's best though. You look like a bozo. Yeah. I feel like it just ruins all the hard work you did of like doing your hair.

I was like, this guy is a schmelvin. You know what I mean? Yeah. Hey, those cute little coolers now. Those little soft coolers. That was all, yeah. That's tough for me. I have weird things with that.

I can never take my lunch to school. Really? Real nerd shit. Why? I don't know. Even as, even in a brown paper bag as an high school kid throw it in your book bag, you don't go to think about it.

No, we bought, I bought all the time. Man. Yeah. All right. I am what I am. I think these are those lunch boxes. They all smelled the same. Even as a kid, you didn't have a lunch box?

I was doing Uber Eats, getting delivered. No, I did. But I know, I would brown paper bag it as a kid because I hated the lunch box. I had a he made one. I fucking loved it. No, the lunch boxes were no longer cool when I was, it was the lunch pouch.

Yeah, you're fucking, you guys, that's, we talked about this too. The lunch pouch, like the Velcro, and they all, it was a kind of like a cooler, they fucking sucked. Your generation did a lot of fucking wonk. They really upped everything. Like this, we talked about the cereal bowl

with the straw in it. I don't think that was my, I think that was after me, but yeah. It's all that Nickelodeon you kids were watching. Oh, I'm sorry we weren't watching Heehaw and the fucking Gilligan's Island or whatever the fuck you were doing. Good episode of Hill Street Blues.

You know, the live audience, the live taping of the Ed Sullivan show. You fucking loser. I literally wish I could like shoot a movie of how I picture your childhood at some of the things you tell me that to me are like my mom experienced. You know what I mean?

Like that's, we're at an age where we grew up kind of like, you were, your upbringing was probably closer to my dad's than mine. A little bit, yeah. Because you just, advances in technology. I think from the, from when I was. A level of income. Yeah, we didn't have cable, what about it?

Pussy. Up there with rabbities. From watching HBO. We had six channels up until. You just did six channels, we had six channels. Yeah, of course. I mean, we still don't have cable upstairs. We didn't get cable until I was, I think 14.

It was when we got cable. We had, we, we did have, I told you, those movies back there, we had got HBO for like one day and my dad recorded everything he could on the, on the VHS. A bunch of real sex, I bet too. A bunch of taxicab confessions. He's down there all night.

Don't touch that. He's down there all night. Like he was Kodiak, like getting that thing done or Kodak. Fuck, what was I saying? Yeah. For the first, from zero to like five, six, I think would be lean towards more, towards your parents' generation.

And then after that, once like the mid 80s, once the 90s hit, I think it makes it similar. But I was like 14, 15, but yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah, it was old student. I remember. You asked me if I listened to Elvis. Well, it doesn't matter.

Tasting music. It sure does. You say you listen to the Motown. Motown was, Elvis and Motown existed at the same time. It was his later years. When the pills. Yeah. I mean, they still play Motown at weddings and stuff.

They're not fucking. You can find Elvis. Elvis is a big hit. Suspicious minds at a wedding. When was the last wedding you've been to and they've played Elvis and not Motown? I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where they played Elvis.

I went to a wedding last week where they played Kentucky Rain. Where was this wedding? Down. I would have had to been there. Down the street. Walking by. You guys got any Elvis back there?

I thrown it on so I could win a bet. It's going to play the jukebox. Yeah, it was real 80s. The first five, six years of my life was like really, you know, it was fucking. It was different. Yeah. It was different.

It was real weird. Feel like everything looked like old Cheers. Yeah. It was real poor 80s too. Yeah. You guys didn't have like fax machines and stuff. What? Yeah.

No. No. I didn't have a cell phone until I, no kidding. That reminds me. My mom tells the stories that they had the party lines where the half the block would be on the same phone. So. That's wild.

They would pick up the phone and then like, they're like, oh, we got to hang up. The McMullins are on. And it's like, okay, let me know when you're done. There was only like two phone lines for the whole block. What? Yeah. Oh.

That's what your stories feel when you tell me stuff. Well, we weren't going down to the general store to get the news. Yeah. It was poor Philly. Just watching Morgan Mindy like a gentleman. Yeah. Well, let's wrap it up.

We got a rapper up gang. Good stuff. It's been a hot one, baby. A fun one. A silly one. Hot one, a fun West gang. Don't forget, August 11th, we're going to be in Red Bank, New Jersey.

Those tickets will sell out. Going to sell out. Want to give you the heads up? Yeah. Make sure you get them. Grab a little merch. Have a good time. See you next week.

We love you. Peace.