Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - James McCann!

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host James McCann! We're talking communism, coming to America and chasing your dreams! You know James McCann from Stand Up Comedy, Matt and Shane...'s Secret Podcast w/ Shane Gillis, the Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony, James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan, Soder Podcast, Stuff Island, and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Best of AYG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8bt-D-ZN4&list=PLCJp1IfokN9Cy1Hi79LSGAykCKfRDM_y9 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Tushy: Over 2 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code GARBAGE at https://hellotushy.com/GARBAGE Factor: Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Calling all homies and bozos, you're cordially invited to come hang out with the boys on that back on the block tour. Grab the squad and come see us. It's going to be a good time. Little stand-up comedy, plus we play RU Garbage with the crowd. Yeah, we're starting September. We're doing San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Brea, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, at the Met, Rochester, New York, Toronto. Get your tickets at RUGarbage.com.
Starting point is 00:00:30 you. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's
Starting point is 00:00:54 favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that at the You're going to be classy. Yeah. It's just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave, Trulley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
Starting point is 00:01:06 We're out back here at Tootty's in the new edition. She just got back from the pet store. Okay. Bought a bunch of tics. Okay, good for her. So watch out. I better know they sold those at the pet store. He gave me a little more on that.
Starting point is 00:01:18 My coves is coming at you from right next to me. That's two hours down to drain. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman. That's a tough critic. I'll tell you that right now. Give it up a bikini. It's a good guy.
Starting point is 00:01:29 a hard laugh on a Monday. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang, shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify.
Starting point is 00:01:41 And the boys, I've got to be honest with you. Climbing the charts over there. One of the charts over there. Look out. Charts. Sure, it's the bottom half of the charts, but we're on the charts. Still.
Starting point is 00:01:48 And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www. www. patreon.com slash are you garbage. A lot of that money, gang. Yes, sir. Gang, we couldn't be more excited to ever incredibly. And I mean, incredible. special guest here with us today for the first time he is a very funny very successful stand-up comedian
Starting point is 00:02:05 podcaster and author he just put he just put out his fourth book of poems disquieting levels of egg look at that he's got a brand new special out september 1st on his youtube page and you can hear him every week on his amazing podcast james donald forbes mccan catamaran plan ladies and gentlemen give it up for james donald forbs mccan the thunder from down under as they call him the best podcast professionally that I've ever Usually you're in a corner And there's a guy smoking a joint And there's eight guys doing mushrooms
Starting point is 00:02:37 In minute quantities in the corner This is a tough point He'll leave Lamar out of this He's a good kid He's only one guy He played for keeps baby But this is also I mean this is very garbage
Starting point is 00:02:47 Set like to have the good set The rich guy thing is to go I don't care I'm a slob No we care too much New money Upwardly mobile working class Whoa upwardly mobile working That's my audience.
Starting point is 00:03:00 It's my favorite group of people in the world. Upwardly mobile. Upwardly mobile working class. No, you don't want downwardly mobile working class. No. That's the opioid people. Sure. Well, we don't discover.
Starting point is 00:03:09 You know, I'll take those two. Whatever you want to do. I want people to have at least enough money to buy the tickets. Listenings for free, though. Don't forget that game. Or have to sell them for sex later on. Buddy, give us the backstory. Give us the origin story of James Donald Forbes McCann.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Very prestigious name for a collar that frayed. This is a good At some point I thought that was fancy To do four names Like a very fairy You know like Madonna she goes to the one name And Prince one name They go look how fame
Starting point is 00:03:40 You know I'm so famous I just need one name You could say you're so weak That you only think you can get one name across to people If you have real star power You should be able to get four names to fly And it also cuts out a lot of the weak fans You've got to really be committed
Starting point is 00:03:55 To type in all four names A lot of characters. On the street, you go by James McCann. Yeah, James is. Literary. James Donald Forbes. Man, that's a number one bestselling book of poems. And here's the secret to having a number one bestselling book of poems.
Starting point is 00:04:11 Yeah? Just release it. Sure. Because, man, there are so few sales for books of poems that to win the poem category on Amazon, you sell three books in a day. You're a number one bestselling poem. It's not bad. It's killing it.
Starting point is 00:04:24 I like that. I'm not making enough money out of it, but I feel. Very successful. I love it. What's my story? I'm from Australian. I'm from Adelaide. Would you say, if you can believe it?
Starting point is 00:04:33 I thought Detroit. It is like Pittsburgh and it's like a post-industrial town that's trying to recast itself as an arts hub. Say the name of it again? Adelaide. Sweet Adelaide. Man, we're in trouble this week. The best football player going into finals has just dropped, I don't know what words. I'm like, a strong F anti-homosexual slur.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Oh, no. And he might be out for the full final. season and we're trying to finagle something to let him back in get him back in it's hard where did he drop this slur on field yikes yeah the other team reported him which it seems to me a breach of some sort of code sure i can see that obviously you shouldn't be doing it right isaac but what a great player we'd really like him to play now when you say football what are we talking about rugby osie rules football this is uh looks like gaelic football he has died so that the game they live Man, I did a road trip through New Mexico
Starting point is 00:05:28 Anyway, I went to California But pistachio land was on the way It was like a theme park to the pistachio But they had big thing on their website And they hadn't taken it down Was that Ozzy Osbourne had once visited Pistachio Lane That's all right
Starting point is 00:05:40 Now it's number one seller James Ford McCann James Donald Ford McCann We've got the new special ad now Black Israelite We've got the new book of poems Wait is that the name of a special Black Israelite? Yeah
Starting point is 00:05:51 I love it It's all about Israel and Black American people so we'll see if that's allowed up on the YouTube you are a you are a niche kind of guy it's a loose canon I like it's hard to search that's a big problem I'm trying to get the number one of these people the number one stand-up comedy special about back blue is it relates by Australian guy it's mostly about Sammy Davis Jr. No I was yeah Adelaide I went to my what you get the whole what the whole thing baby all right mom's dad's brother sisters all right dad's side
Starting point is 00:06:24 It's odd They lived in a very rough part of town And they refused to move Because my My dad's dad was scared That he would have a heart attack He'd had friends who'd moved off the neighborhood street And they'd all died
Starting point is 00:06:36 And so he said, I'm staying here So even though he worked his way up to be like He was a bureaucratory He was a deputy head of telecom It was like AT&T in the state Your grandfather Yes And so he would have a afraid to move
Starting point is 00:06:48 He was afraid to move And so like a limousine would pick him up From a very rough part of town every day Anyway That's awesome It was very I like that kind of superstition But it was
Starting point is 00:06:58 It was in the 70s So working for like a power company Or a phone company Did not have Now you'd be on Huge You know CFO
Starting point is 00:07:06 Weird money But at the time You're a civil servant Gotcha You know They gave you a fancy carb You didn't have heaps of cash But he you know
Starting point is 00:07:12 He went to a That was a civil servant job Back then Yes The government Owned the telecommunication Damn I don't know Australia
Starting point is 00:07:19 He was like that We If only we could return to it And gets, now we're getting ripped up now, the bloody Chinese on the phone companies. And they're not doing a great job. Let me tell you that. You've got Chinese phone companies down there? My mom came from, the hell's going on.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Oh, it's a lot. My mom came from the worst place in Adelaide, which was Elizabeth. And my grandparents kept living there, and we would go up there. It was a, it was a, suburbs are usually bad. The further out you go in Australia, the worse it is. We didn't have white flight. We didn't have some of the dynamics happening in the 1970s in America. So fancy people live close
Starting point is 00:07:54 And the further out you go The poorer it gets But they were both They're like the first people in their schools To, sorry, and their families To go to like uni and no one They went to public schools Like Brough and Tumble public schools
Starting point is 00:08:04 Okay, how'd your mom and dad meet? They were teachers They both became English teachers No kidding And they went out to, I think it was Wayala Which is, oh man That's a That's a rough
Starting point is 00:08:17 We don't think someone just turned them on No it was like an iron It was an iron town that shut down a steel town and you go back there now people say why Allah why bother and then the next town
Starting point is 00:08:26 is Port Augusta Portugata it's called the Iron Triangle the third town is riddled with cancer and it's genuinely Chinese phone companies yeah
Starting point is 00:08:35 oh they year they yearn to have a Chinese phone company moving there and just give some semblance and something's going on but they
Starting point is 00:08:43 like it was really important they were rapidly mobile people they went to university right they got to become English teachers were they English teachers
Starting point is 00:08:50 in Adelaide Yes. Okay. Yeah. Although dad wanted to be a lawyer, and he got to go. He was a communist in college, in university. Really? And then he went to China just after the cultural revolution.
Starting point is 00:09:00 You're joking. No. Your father was a communist. He was a communist. He was studying history. He went to China as all the sort of mass death was starting to wind down, but he really, the West didn't know what was happening in China. Is this after the, what was the call where the guy ran over in the tank?
Starting point is 00:09:17 Before. Before. So this was the great leap forward, where Mao, decides we're going to have people are going to smelt iron in their backyards and then what do you know it's not good iron and you can't really sell it and then there's a lot of famine because Albania is giving them all their food
Starting point is 00:09:31 it's a beautiful part of history that was a communist that's crazy but then that's some comie bullshit came back from China very much not a communist and is now but a hanker in for mushoe pork he gets into he gets intrigued by communism
Starting point is 00:09:51 in his studies and his readings. He wanted to be a revolutionary. He wanted to... Let me ask you this. You mentioned that the... Take over Australia, I think. You mentioned that your grandfather was... Oding, or working for a telecommunications company was a civil servant job.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Yes. Australia was never borderline communist, socialist. Were they? Man. Don't sound democratic if you ask me. God damn, they own a phone company. His dad's going to China. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:10:16 Don't sound like black rock. I'll tell you that. How many, how many your uncle's ever went to China? I got two words for you, Vanguard. Let's go. We had a go becoming a little independent from U.S. power in the 70s. I'm out. And then spontaneously, a prime minister was not the prime minister anymore,
Starting point is 00:10:31 and we've been friendly ever since. Right. He said, we might close down some of these military bases and sell our own oil. And he had to go away. So we've never tried again. And nor should we. He was exhausted. He could do a couple weekends up.
Starting point is 00:10:43 He went for a swim in the reef, if you know what I mean. That was a previous prime minister. He went through it. That was Harold Holt, who disappeared. People say a Chinese submarine got him. What? What do you mean got him? I'm like, picked him up?
Starting point is 00:10:55 Yes, that he was a Chinese spy, and they came for him. They came to take him away. He'd fulfilled his mission. I tell you what, that's opening up. I feel like I'm talking to a beautiful mind here. I'm sorry. Start writing on the windows. You're out of here.
Starting point is 00:11:06 My story, and it starts with Harold Holt going, you'll enjoy this. The prime minister, I'm not sure I will. Listen, the prime minister goes swimming, disappeared, probably drowned, maybe a Chinese submarine. Maybe, who knows? Or got whacked out. Who can say? He took his mistress to the beach. He went into the water.
Starting point is 00:11:22 He never came back. What about her? Was she gone to? No, she was alive. She said, Harold just went away. But then what the government does in Victoria, they have the Harold Holt Memorial Swimming Center. It's the big swimming center.
Starting point is 00:11:36 In China? No, in Adelaide. No, in Melbourne. Sorry, Melbourne. They named the swimming pool after the Prime Minister who drowned. That's a little ironic. That's a little weird. Isn't that a tender?
Starting point is 00:11:45 I mean, no, not if he died. Don't give him a swimming pool. do you do like if he died if he died i don't believe he did now the wife said he couldn't have been a chinese spy didn't like chinese food that's the strong argument against it that's genuinely i tell you what though that's pretty good the prime minister was a spy that's pretty good man great to be sharing this listen if that's the move and you get to you get to get picked up by the sub that's the way to go that's tight so generous of the chinese to risk their a international reputation by rescuing one of their...
Starting point is 00:12:22 I think they would have plugged him. Yeah, that's what he killed him. My mom's side. My mom's dad was an orphan in Scotland. This kid moves quick. He was an orphan from Abelauer in Scotland. And he came to Australia. He was part of the military.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Okay. This is your mom's dad? I'm sorry? Mom's dad. And he was at a place called Maralinga. So the British government gets nuclear weapons. And they want to test them out and see, how bad are these for people, really? So they go to the Australian outback and they detonate nuclear.
Starting point is 00:12:49 clear weapons and then they say to the soldiers, go for a walk through that and we'll see where your health is at in 20, 30 years. Damn. Go through the radiation. It doesn't work out well. For any of them, I think they're all dead. Your grandfather was one of the... Yeah, he died in his, I think, you know, mid-60s, mid-late 60s.
Starting point is 00:13:04 It was terrible and genuinely, yeah, he was, but he was in Elizabeth. Elizabeth was that suburb to the north of Adela? It was meant to be like British, the best of Britain coming over after the war and setting up their own town there. Gotcha. And it turned into a slum quicker than you can say Fuck, man, that's a rough place to walk around Oh, Chinese, again, Chinese restaurant would be a real step up
Starting point is 00:13:30 There were factories there We stopped, we used, the only way we're going to have manufacturing Is if the government was like pumping it up and giving them a lot of money So when we liberalize and we go Yeah, but then we go, we're going to be a free market Then they all close and all the manufacturing jobs go away Now we don't make anything America has learned this lesson as well
Starting point is 00:13:49 I mean I've When I first came here I was in the Rust Belt I was in the Ohio River Valley for several months And thinking the action was still going on Yeah just isn't that the place to be Almost heaven West Virginia
Starting point is 00:14:00 Where's all the locomotives are at Man Some of the Some of the poverty What did you how'd you end up there So I came to America Because I got offered a job on a podcast It was a
Starting point is 00:14:14 Anyway they looked up my comment and they said I was too dirty and they fired me but I'd already moved my whole family Wait, what? Yes, it was rough Hold on, wait, put a pin in that We'll get to that All right
Starting point is 00:14:24 Get back to the communist Well, he left his communism behind We've moved past, he became a teacher And an author So your dad became a teacher And now he's an outspoken friend of Israel Nice He's gone full
Starting point is 00:14:35 Full circle No, sorry, the other side Whichever one is more respectful than my father That's the one that I meant Brother and Sisters One brother Older, younger
Starting point is 00:14:47 He's younger Your parents Stayed together They're still married Oh brother Late career Like I moved to America And they broke up
Starting point is 00:14:56 Just before them Is that true Separate? Yes In their 60s They've split up Really And I don't talk about it very often
Starting point is 00:15:02 Because I don't know What the do with that Sure When you're a kid I mean I Ah it's very I think Oh
Starting point is 00:15:11 I'm We lost him I'm sorry Well he looks like completely different guy without his glasses on. I have this is the cold, small North Irish sociopath eyes
Starting point is 00:15:21 that I try and chug up with there. Man, adult of divorce is a weird category to be in. The marriage lasts all through the childhood, all through into the 30s, have some kids of your own.
Starting point is 00:15:32 I gotta be honest, it's the most, that's not the craziest thing I've heard about you so far. Isn't it? If we're being honest that's the one I wrestle with all the time, you told me your dad was a commie,
Starting point is 00:15:40 this is shocking to the point where you have to take your glasses. Now listen, different to be a communist in. Australia. Sure. Not better. Still bad. But like whenever people go, like in America they go, they were communists in the
Starting point is 00:15:52 Democrat Party and or like they were lying that there were communists there and the whole McCarthy thing. We just genuinely had communists. We had the labor our center left party was riddled with communists. Gotcha. It was like just a normal cash thing to do.
Starting point is 00:16:09 People didn't know it was that bad at the time. We didn't know which way we were going to go as a country. We came down on, I think, the right side in the end. I believe. I love freedom. I love America. He was going to say that. This is beautiful.
Starting point is 00:16:24 I love... To the Victor go, the spoils. Have you seen the James Brown's CNN interview? What? No. Don't worry about it. It's the greatest interview of all time. They make you watch that naturalization class?
Starting point is 00:16:33 No, I just... I just pro bono went and did some James Brown... Dave six Chuck Berry songs. Go. Look at you in the toilet. Is that Chuck Berry was doing that? He was doing that? He's referenced a lot on the show.
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Starting point is 00:19:20 I was a fan of, listen, I've been a fan of Factor for years that's well documented here. I feel like I'm a broken record here. Shreda chicken taco bowl, change my life. It's fantastic. Go get involved with Factor. It takes that, because I'm the kind of guy, I'll get home and I'm on my way home. I'll get pizza. Don't get a sandwich.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Don't get a sandwich. And I go, you know what? Chicken Taco Bowl. I got Factor at home, baby. Throw that. I do it on a stove because I'm a gentleman. Two minutes on a skillet. I like it in a microwave.
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Starting point is 00:20:03 Get delicious. Ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewings. subscription purchase do it yeah well you a good student growing up and how was the household growing up you your mom your dad and your brother quiet so uh what you would mean by suburban neighborhood right i think i was i was a good i was not a good student until i got put in the they put me in the school that my dad was a teacher and then he was so sometimes your dad's a teacher and the kids get away with everything because their parents can pull some levers
Starting point is 00:20:35 and now i got spat on by one boy whose mother was not even a teacher she was He was like an assistant teacher. And I couldn't, I couldn't do anything. I got in trouble for punching on with him. Probably like, I heard of your dad to comedy. There was some of that. There was some of that.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I was, I was, I was giving him a bit of the chat. I was, I was, I was, sip it with daikami. I got into too many fights. I got into two. Really? Well, I started out with some fist fights and wasn't very good. And I went to wits. No, I'm ashamed to say I, I kicked the boy in the testicles.
Starting point is 00:21:06 First time was an accident, but people were afraid of me after that. That became your. I did it twice. I did it three times. I literally in six months I kicked three boys in it. I like you. Hey, if it ain't broke,
Starting point is 00:21:17 don't fix it. And then people were afraid of me. Not in a good way. Not like, he's so tough. It's like, stay away. He's got a problem.
Starting point is 00:21:24 He kicked a boy in the test. I kicked the boy in the test. Yes, he's a good friend now. Hey, Nick. Sorry, you can't have kids. No. Call Nicky Sopranos.
Starting point is 00:21:33 I believe he's brought children into this world. There you go. But I do remember he vomited it up. the stairs as he was walking away trail I feel very bad about it why did you kick him what was the argument isn't that always the what who can remember that's the move
Starting point is 00:21:49 no I shouldn't have done it I had a late puberty I was the smallest boy by a lot how late's late I was the oldest soprano the boys choir over there it was late it was like what would say I was I would have been 16 when my voice broke
Starting point is 00:22:06 okay yes were you in the choir for real or no? Yeah. What were the extracurricular activities? I did them all. Did you play nut stompin? No, I squeezed in the nuts stumping between, I did debating.
Starting point is 00:22:19 I did chess. I tried all the normal sports and was shit at him, so I started doing the ones that. The obscure things. Did squash. He played squash. Squash. What is squash exactly? It's tennis, but really dull and the Saudis love it.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Okay. He always goes to another country. I'm sorry. Every time he asks himself, he always ends with a problematic country. I just got on a plane. geopolitical. I just got it on a plane. It was Korean Airlines, everybody. Did they have a test over there?
Starting point is 00:22:46 Because you seem like a pretty sharp guy. Is this going well? It's going great. Please. Do they have a test? We're going to turn you in as soon as you get out of here. They do have a test. Do they have like a, do you know what the SATs are? Yes. Do they have a similar test in Australia? They, you just, they don't have a standardized one. They have, uh, sort of, yes. It's state by state.
Starting point is 00:23:06 How did you do on that? I would assume you, I would assume you're extremely, intelligent but I feel you're intelligent I could be wrong I was showing up and paying attention I did okay but it was really my dad was like he was he was a teacher there and he would be so ashamed that was it that was the only reason I was taking a break from
Starting point is 00:23:21 video games and kicking boys in the testicles is he would go what the fuck are you doing what video game system did you have I man I was thinking about I had the Xbox there wasn't like different ones over there right no we had them all but I had the PlayStation before then but I never got the PlayStation 2 and I wish I'd
Starting point is 00:23:40 the PlayStation 2 instead of the Xbox. I had a lot of good Halo memories. Gotcha. But I think the PS2, we were. So it's a fancy school, and they got a discount, but my mom, my mom didn't work, and my dad was on a teacher's wage. So your mom didn't work, so the neighborhood you grew up in was upper middle class. It was nice.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Yes. All right. Yeah. Okay. Your dad did well. We were in the fancy area, and we were the poorest people by a lot. Understandable. Gotcha.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Because they bought at the right time. They bought at the right time. and he had a job at the good school. He got a job at a good school. Gotcha. So I got brought in on, you know, you don't have to pay the same amount of money as everybody else. Understandable. And so everyone else comes back from holidays going like, oh, we've been to Paris.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Oh, it was beautiful. The lights. And what would a vacation be for you? My dad took me to China. We would get cable television just for the holidays, and I'd get to watch Smackdown and Rural. You would get it just for the holidays and then cancel it? And they'd cancel it, yeah. Because they don't want to be paying for it.
Starting point is 00:24:37 And they don't want to be watching it. but during the, just during the summer holiday. Like summer off? Yeah, we'd get like two months of, we'd call it Fox Till. So you'd get cable TV for two months. That's crazy. That's awesome. Just a huge amount of television and then back to school.
Starting point is 00:24:49 And what was the school year for you? Because I, not to say, I can't tell what's winter, what's summer. It's like January to start of December. What is? That's the school year? That's the school year. So summer is. January to the start of December?
Starting point is 00:25:05 So maybe early February. But then we do it. different. We have four terms with a two-week break. You do one big kids go off to summer camp. We have like 10 weeks, two weeks off, 10 weeks, two weeks off. Wait, hold on a second. You've got to explain this to me. Okay. I don't know how else you can explain it to you, but that was pretty clear. When do you, okay. I'm doing my best. You're going into eighth grade. When does school start?
Starting point is 00:25:27 Like start of February. The start of February. Yes. That's wild. Wait a minute. Hold on. That's on American. Wait, what? That's when school starts? End of January, start of February. Yeah. Okay, and then You're just when it's starting to get a little less hot
Starting point is 00:25:41 Where to win? You're going through to the start of December You're going the whole year straight through? You just said you go 10 weeks on, two weeks off. So it would be like how we had marking periods or, you know, whatever. So you're going to school in the summer months. In your summer months, they're our winter months. The toilets, the other ones are going to get a way down there.
Starting point is 00:25:59 December is hot. Let me tell you, cutting down a Christmas tree in Australia is a slog. it's a hundred degrees you go out into a field there's Christmas trees that we would never do this as a kid My mom would get the plastic tree But that was my like
Starting point is 00:26:13 I believe in the real tree I love heaven Sure I love it It's a waste of money The whole house is filled with pine needles It's a bitch to get in And get it sucks
Starting point is 00:26:22 But here I imagine it's very nice to go out And cut down a tree Not that you I mean you just people sell it In a parking lot And they do for you But there you've got to crawl in long grass
Starting point is 00:26:30 And there's snakes everywhere What the fuck in a way Imagine getting bit by a rattler when you're trying to celebrate Christmas That's crazy I got a half a pint eggnog in me I'm not watching where I stand Slap a kangaroo
Starting point is 00:26:43 Eggnog not as popular because it's a hundred degree day So it's You want to be having the beers Very early on Christmas barbecue You're telling me that you're basically going to school All year round
Starting point is 00:26:53 10 weeks on two weeks off 10 weeks on two weeks off Yes I kill myself Wait so you're going to school Your entire childhood it never stops I would freak out Our summer holidays like a month and a half So you get a slightly longer...
Starting point is 00:27:07 But it's not like this beautiful three-month American summer running around. We start in September. You're done in May. You go down the shore. Yeah. You get a summer job. Find a girlfriend, do a little smooching. You're saying you, but this is definitely first-person stuff.
Starting point is 00:27:23 I wasn't getting any later. I had one girlfriend in high school briefly. And then she broke up with me. Kick her in the nuts. I think she did become a non-binary. Yeah, I'm sure, mate, who can say? No kidding. Who can say?
Starting point is 00:27:38 Devastated all through my last year at high school. Huh. At this. How long was the relationship? Weeks. Summer break. Holy shit. All right.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Okay. So what would you guys do? So you're telling me that your parents would get cable, by the way. Yeah. Your parents would get cable for like two weeks or that month and a half. half they get the month and a half and then sometimes if you know if the iraq war was really kicking off and dad wanted to watch fox because by this point he's a fox republican then really man this guy's a flip-flopper if you ask me he has one is a huge pivot i mean really the right
Starting point is 00:28:17 would tilt is uh it was before my time here's a shocker james how old are you by the way 30 i want to say 33 33 i'd be shocked at young guy he thought i thought he'd be older yeah we've got I figured he was a communist. I have never been, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party. That's said. They have some good idea. I've hung out with communists at parties. I do enjoy Chinese food.
Starting point is 00:28:49 We just have communists in Australia. They sell newspapers. Man, I kind of miss them because there's a certain kind of person when you see a English-speaking communist. You know, you see the Russian commie and they're like big. It throws you off a little bit. Communists are skinny, pale in a strait. They're selling badges nobody wants. Badges?
Starting point is 00:29:08 You know, like buy a little bad, buy a little... To support communism. Yes. But they never, you know, it's never just like a hammer sickle. Straighten somebody's guys down. They are the communists, but it'll be like the rainbow stuff, the aboriginal stuff, the no nuclear stuff. Gotcha.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Very angry with their newspapers, which are very thin and poorly researched. Spelling's horrible. All right. Anytime you ever guys, would you guys... Would you guys ever go away? Would you go to, like, how far away were you from the beach, first of all? So everywhere in Australia is near the beach. It's around the edge.
Starting point is 00:29:38 So everywhere's near the beach. The difficult thing is everywhere worth going to is eight hours drive away minimum. Why? What do you mean? Like a beach? We got, the country is the same size of America. We've got five big cities. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:51 And that's it. Because in the middle, there's a lot of hot sand, a lot of poverty. Does anybody live in, like, the middle of the country? Yes. It's called Alice Springs. I think. I think it's the stabbing capital of something. But, yeah, they had to bring in a curfew in Ellis Spring.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Jesus. There's a lot of problems. There's a lot of problems. So, how long would I think did you get to the beach from your house? Not long. 40 minutes. 40 minutes. It's a beautiful, nice.
Starting point is 00:30:18 And would you drive there and go swimming and stuff like that? Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, it's one of the only, I mean, there's not, sometimes. Adelaide is, for a long time, it was known as a place where there was nothing to do. Mm-hmm. So you would just have to. Oh, we've got a beach, we've got mountains.
Starting point is 00:30:32 It's a beautiful. Too many people are moving there now, and the house prices have gone up to like a million dollars. So if you would stay the fuck out of Adelaide. You live here now. I know, but one day I'd like to have a beautiful home. No, if you live here now, you have to not care about Australia. That's what that's the...
Starting point is 00:30:44 You can never forget. That's what a disgusting thing to forget your roots. Later. We're not letting you go back. You're a Jets fan now? You forgot where you're from? Nope. Forgot who raised you?
Starting point is 00:30:55 Go birds. Go bird ticket. What was the first job growing up? McDonald's. Really? Yes, I was a fry cooking McDonald's. I wanted to be customer facing, but they didn't think I had the personality for it. Trying to convert everybody a communist.
Starting point is 00:31:10 I was a very bad. I'm not a communist. My father was, before being very right wing, a good, staunch, loves America. How was the gig of McDonald's? And how old were you? I would have been 14, 15. Okay. I was not great.
Starting point is 00:31:27 When can you work there? Could you work during a school? Can you work during? Yeah, I'd work after school and then weekends. No kidding. And then just on a terrible. You get a, I don't know if they have children's wages here, but like they can pay you less than minimum wage if you're a kid. No kidding.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Yes, you get like 60% of minimum wage. Holy shit. Australia is won. And no work, I think. What was the big seller at the time at Australia McDonald's? They would. What was like the menu item? Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:57 I mean, we have many of the quarter. The counter's great. Sure. I was always a big, big Mac fan. My man. But the family was all vegetarian throughout my teen years. Man. Yeah, my brother's held on to it.
Starting point is 00:32:09 I eat meat. When I left home, I started, I was like, oh, let's try ham. Ham is good. Yeah, sure is good. Because I was poor. So when I left home, I went to university and then dropped out twice and just bummed around in, like, the arts scene, doing comedy and not having any money for eight years. Ten years? 15 years
Starting point is 00:32:29 Where was that Where was college Where was university So we go We always We go in the same town That you're from We don't have this
Starting point is 00:32:35 You don't try Yeah No So you were just around town You didn't go to like Melbourne or You lived at home I tried moving out of Adelaide
Starting point is 00:32:43 A bunch of times I tried moving to Melbourne At another breakup Had to get the fuck Out of Melbourne I was dating a comedian You can't Boy a comedy breakup is ugly
Starting point is 00:32:53 Man It's all your friends Are also your colleagues And she was much more successful than me And rightly so, because I was doing the, my act was bad. I was just, anyway. I'd get lost in the past.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Excuse me. I wasn't ready to talk about. I love this. I have so many closed doors in my mind. He's staring off in the no man. Yeah. I tried to move away a couple times, but I always came back. You always came back?
Starting point is 00:33:17 Yeah. And then, okay. Because that's all right. I mean, it's, in many ways. Were you doing comedy there? Yeah. That's what he said, yeah. Living at home.
Starting point is 00:33:28 We've got a big fringe festival So you do like the festival every year Okay That's for like a month You're doing like an hour It's a good way to get early stage time Right To four people who don't want to see it
Starting point is 00:33:38 And family members who are going About what year? When did you start? What year? 2008 I was 17 17 you started comedy 2009 I was 17 yeah And you didn't move here until Until last year right?
Starting point is 00:33:50 Yeah I mean You guys don't make it easy to come Sure Across the border Getting here legally is almost no commitment Jim Jeffries made it Who else? It's a small list of Aussie
Starting point is 00:34:02 They all go to the UK You have to go to the UK, yeah But there's a couple more now Who are Aaron Chen is here, Blake Freeman is here Amos Gill The great Amos Gil is here But it's like six guys Scott Do you know Scott Dooley?
Starting point is 00:34:15 No I think he's in New York Think he does You're there It's so funny You could be naming like people Who could sell out Madison Square Garden Or Open Micers
Starting point is 00:34:23 And you're like Scott Dooley It's all sounds like people Who died in high school It was a radio presenter in Australia he was great and now he's here I think he writes captions for the New Yorker now
Starting point is 00:34:32 we all are on a different journey So you started in 2008 Started in 2008 Yeah And then moved here in 2024 Yes Right Yeah
Starting point is 00:34:42 So yeah we've been doing comedy About the same time I started in 2008 I was 32 You were 17 I mean but I would You might have been better faster No
Starting point is 00:34:51 No I stink I was I started out I think my first gig was good Okay And I was like, I can do this. And then, wow, it dropped off. The audience is, I read Steve Martin's autobiography, and I was like,
Starting point is 00:35:06 I thought you had it? We got to do some weird. We've got to challenge people. We've got to invent something brand new. And it was 10 years. Wow, you did it for 10 years. I did 10 bad years. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was dressed up like a nun. I was writing musicals. I had a piano accordion. I was doing everything that I would now really do. disapprove of people do it.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Sacrilegious. But also, we got five clubs. Like in the country. So if you're a club comic, that means you're going to get to do a lot of cruise ships. I remember James Brown, watching an interview of him where he talks about,
Starting point is 00:35:44 if they don't want you, you have to be so good that it doesn't fucking matter. Right. It's like, all right, I guess we have to drive very hard. I don't think I got there. I don't think I got the James Brown. I don't have any sequence.
Starting point is 00:35:55 I don't have big hair. I don't have a man. come out and put a robe over me at the end of the show and bring me back to life he's up there dancing look at me now james brammy dance on the street for like four or five hours you guys have club you can become a club comic here that means something you can be an open we don't have openers at big comics they show up in a theater they say ladies and gentlemen so and so and they come out and they do their hour and then they walk off and that's it they're not there's no ladder for like finding a mentor unless it's the business holds every
Starting point is 00:36:27 card. Damn. What I love about, one of the many things I love about this country, I love America. Fuck communism. I've said that many times.
Starting point is 00:36:34 Take that, Dad, Dad. But he's not a communist anymore. He's not a communist anywhere. I should reiterate. But like, you guys have a, people get success as a comic,
Starting point is 00:36:43 then they get a couple of openers, and they drag people up through the bit. And the comics have a big say on who's getting opportunities. Comics have all the say, now I would argue, over the opportunities. Podcasts have really put the sword through the late night
Starting point is 00:36:57 thing. Sure. Do you know how many shows Fox is producing in America right now? How many? How many comedy shows? This is what I heard.
Starting point is 00:37:06 What? Zero. Yeah. They just have Fox Studios where they used to do TV shows in L.A. Sampty, get the pods in there. Get bad friends
Starting point is 00:37:16 to move into Fox Studios. Fox Sunday night. Let's go. That could be, that could really save at this point. Television. Throw us on there. Man, wouldn't that be nice?
Starting point is 00:37:27 I'd be so funny I'll do it for five grand Seth Myers Is to say that Seth Myers is like Coming up next Are you garbage They've got
Starting point is 00:37:34 You get You get wow Incredible guests Yeah It's the same booking people You get to ask If Sidney
Starting point is 00:37:40 What was it like Being in Idaho With the big bozzies I love Sydney Sweetie She is a gem Kids got a little
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Starting point is 00:39:09 That's true diagnostic.com and use the code garbage and check out to get 20% off, baby. Your future self will thank you do it. Who did the cooking in your house? Mom? Yes. How was she? At cooking? Yes.
Starting point is 00:39:25 What kind of things would you have? My brother was a fussy eater, and everyone was vegetarian. So it was like Paul Newman's pasta sauce. Okay. Every... Makes a good sauce. It's a good sauce. It's a great sauce.
Starting point is 00:39:38 But she would get that one because it's a very moral buying. You know, it's never the cage eggs. So we would always have, you know, people would complain. The school fees are very expensive, all these things, but the eggs have to be from the most immaculate chicken. Okay. Is that sort of... And Newman took care of the chicken. No, Newman
Starting point is 00:39:53 They made the sauce They did the sauce Oh You ever have the Paul Newman's pasta sauce Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah I think you meant eggs in the sauce Of some kind
Starting point is 00:40:01 Oh no, I just mean in general Like all the ingredients Like the cows have to be treated nicely Gotcha And the But the food Brother was a fussy eater So I remember they're having the same pizza
Starting point is 00:40:09 The same Fish and chips That's a big Australian Fish and chips I love fish and chips I love fish and chips I very hard to find good Fish and chips
Starting point is 00:40:18 Here Yeah Sure, I'll give you that But then they'll be weird They'll be weird. They'll just be like a Greek man. When I was living in Ohio, it was just like, one weird Greek man was there. He's like, have the soup.
Starting point is 00:40:28 It's like, I've never had soup at a fish and ship shop. I didn't know they did the Italian wedding soup. Yeah. You like that? What a soup. That's a great soup. That's a soup that could travel. I can see why it broke out of just the Italian weddings and he's taken over the whole comment.
Starting point is 00:40:41 That is a very specific event soup. You've got so few Greek guys in this country that they stayed Greek sounding. Yes. They're like, oh, well, like, you're all Greek food. Come over to us. story of you. Take you out. I saw it. Take you to Kate Cletus. That was the first place in New York I got to see it. Tommy and I never took you
Starting point is 00:40:57 over there? To Dipmars? I stayed in that house for one week, and I remember there was a loud, as a week I met both of you, it was the Phillies. That's when our binge drinking between, with me, him, O'Connor, Pope, and Shane started. Well, I didn't know it had, I didn't know it. It looked like it had been going for a while. Yeah, I mean, that
Starting point is 00:41:15 whole playoff run. You caught us at the town. That was a beautiful. I mean, I'm sorry you didn't get the win in the end, but. What a I was there for a game that he did win Yeah And I remember
Starting point is 00:41:24 It was Kate Upton Was dating the pitcher Yeah And there was a lot of I didn't question Ian Finan's sexuality at all That evening Because everyone was so happy
Starting point is 00:41:34 About the big bozzies Sure The pussies The tits She had mammary glands on it And we get you That's the gap between big tits Famous women
Starting point is 00:41:46 It goes Kate Upton Nothing for a generation Sidney Sweeney. You're not wrong. She's the first set of big mams that have come out in a long time. What was your first concert that you went to? I think it was Weird Al Yankovic.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Oh my God. It's so telling. It was great. This kid's worse by the second. I mean, the Wiggles, if we're going very early. Whoa. They were Australia. They're Australian.
Starting point is 00:42:09 They're always being. Whoa. You guys don't love Weird Al Yankovic? No, I do. But what age did you go? Oh, man. 14, 15. When did you see the Wiggles?
Starting point is 00:42:20 Four. Okay. Trying to think of any other... We had big... So to get the Americans and the British out, we'd have like a big music festival once a year. It was called The Big Day Out. To get them out?
Starting point is 00:42:31 Well, it's like it's hard to... To get them over there? Yeah, just to have enough money to get some big names. Because if you have to tour on your own... The American bands. Oh, okay, I got you. Like, if you're a mid-level American band, I got to see Death Grips at the Big Day Out. They remember that was...
Starting point is 00:42:43 But it's like they wouldn't tour on their own outside of that. I got it. Okay, I got you. So, you know, like the Red Hot Chili Peppers come out and they're headlining. And then there's a bunch of bands that you actually... Not that I didn't want to see the Red Hot Chilk. No, I understand what you mean.
Starting point is 00:42:55 I do love the Chili's. Bands from America and Britain that were bubbling up but weren't quite that big yet. Then they pepper it in with Australian hip-hop to support the base. We've got... There's a couple. Hilltop hoods. They had the nosebleeds section. You'll know that song.
Starting point is 00:43:10 I know. It's a big one. Shout out all day. Shout out Cursor. I think he was looking at Luke. It's going to start spinning it. I'm trying to look at the camera. I'm trying to look at the camera.
Starting point is 00:43:20 He's in his mark. I try and do the hip-hop beats, and these people won't jump on for a feature. Danny Brown wouldn't jump on one. Wait, you make your hip-hop? You make hip-hop beats? On my phone, on the garage band on the phone, I make the hip-hop beats.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Danny Brown. He's a Renaissance, man. What do you want? He's something. Listen, there was no money in comedy. Everyone over here is a comedian. You're millionaires. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:43:44 You've got a penthouse studio in Manhattan. Sure. What a third floor. No, you've got a scrap for what you can get. You've got to make a beats. So once you start making beats over there or here? I mean, I've, largely, I'm working now, so I don't get as much time. You don't mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Were you selling them over there at all? Never. Not one person has agreed to buy any of my music ever. You're making them on your phone. Yeah. You want to listen to some? I kind of do, but I don't want, I don't want Universal Music Group to pull me into their ongoing lawsuit today. If you can believe it, I don't have a label.
Starting point is 00:44:19 So were you over here? Well, let's fast forward. I think I would say we have a picture of the childhood. No, but we can move on. I know about the prime ministers of Australia. Yeah, we could jump forward to now. When was the first time you came here? Would you ever make a trip?
Starting point is 00:44:38 Yep. I came over for two weeks. So I met Shane Gillis in Australia like three years ago. Okay. So that was when we met you was your first time here. Yes, yes. No shit. And I had a...
Starting point is 00:44:52 I was not... A friend of mine was opening for him and I sort of stopped following comedy because everything in Australia was not turned on my brain. My brother loved podcasts and he kept up with it. And we'd had a child. So when podcast started to boom, I was out of the culture. I was like...
Starting point is 00:45:08 You had a kid. Yeah, we got six years ago. You had gotten married. We got married? Yes. We got married. We got three kids. We were six, four and two.
Starting point is 00:45:17 So you got married? What did your wife do? She is assaulted by a six-year-old, the four-year-old, and the two-year-old all the time. She can't work on a visa. Okay. But also, I wouldn't make her work anyway. That's repulsive. But what was she doing?
Starting point is 00:45:30 Making your woman works. If she wants to work, let her work if she wants to work. You can't stop that anymore. What were you doing over there to make a living to get married and have kids? Oh. And where were you guys living? I lived, so we lived, we had a housemate when we were first married. And then when she got pregnant, yeah, we moved in with my parents.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Because I was Man, I had Nothing I was working in a call center For a while Okay For actually the company That my grandpa used to run
Starting point is 00:46:00 And then I was working Oh man if you want to go through bad I mean bad jobs That's probably where I can really connect Those are the poor Those are the difficult garbagey years I was a door to door cable television salesman
Starting point is 00:46:10 Where I would I would knock on people's door This was after Netflix It's not actual televisions No no I would say Do you want you know You want to pay $30 dollars a month and you get a fox sell.
Starting point is 00:46:21 They would just drive you out to the worst parts of town because that's where you make your bread as a door-to-door sales. You've got to a rich part of town. Nobody wants to come. Sure. But you got housing commission. I don't know what you call it, Section 8. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:46:32 And just knock on 50 Section 8 doors and try and sell them cable television. Would you want to work sometimes? I mean, yes. When I needed the money, I could be good at it and I could put a hard sell on. But when I, then you'd get commission. It was all on commission. And then all of a sudden I'd have like two or three thousand. dollars for the week and I was like I don't have to
Starting point is 00:46:51 I'll just get in the bus with the rest of this is not a job anyone wants to do and it's it's a bad door to door to sales I'd get on a bus there was an Indian man named Raguvia who drove the bus as me as an African guy who'd love talking about cheating on his wife and everyone was very uncomfortable he'd be like
Starting point is 00:47:07 don't touch my phone busy is this a public bus no it's just like a big he owned a big van a Sienna he owned like uh who did sorry the guy driving the uh that would take you to work the manager would drive us out to an area Sounds a little human trafficy if you catch my drift. You'd only have to work.
Starting point is 00:47:23 They'd only do it in the afternoon because it's when people are home. But for four or five hours, you'd knock doors in the worst parts of town trying to get people to get cable television. I did that for about six months. I made all the money in the first month and a half. And then I just kept doing it to show up. But like sad, Irish people coming over to Australia who need a job and then, you know, they're too dumb to work in hospitality or something.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Like too slow. They just don't have bartender energy. They're doing door-to-door stuff. and regional. We'd do week-long trips into the outback. I went back to those places, Wayala and Port Augusta. Wait, why would you do week-long trips out there to sell?
Starting point is 00:47:58 Move the product. And where would you stay? It would stay at like the worst. Sometimes it would be like a house that they'd managed to rent from somebody. I had to share a room with a man from the Philippines who snored terribly. And one night, I rocked him. I said, please, stop. And I remember he sat bolt upright.
Starting point is 00:48:18 He woke up and he's like, okay. I'll stab you And it was Nowadays you go to an HR company But or whatever But I just had to absorb I told the bus I was like he threatened to kill me last night
Starting point is 00:48:28 Did you wake him up? Yeah he'll do that The boss was like he sells well So don't don't rock this bike Number one of the calls you I was in a call center After that When people had
Starting point is 00:48:39 People had our version of AT&T And a loved one died They'd call up to disconnect the service And my job was to While they were disconnecting that service you know, get an iPad. Upsil them. Upsil them.
Starting point is 00:48:52 Upsil the people who are trying to leave. Specifically when people died? You'd get deaths. Man, Australia is fucking weird. They'd lumped them in together. So people who just wanted to disconnect, you'd get them, and then one in four, randomly. You'd get like an old guy going,
Starting point is 00:49:06 my sweet wife is gone. Oh, it's in here, pops. You get my pad, keep your company through the night. But the best markup was on, like, the cheapest Samsung pad, was like that big and didn't do anything I moved a lot of them
Starting point is 00:49:22 my mom had one of those for a long time and then I thought I could be a copy I worked as a music journalist briefly I got like six months in a good job
Starting point is 00:49:34 doing like music reviews and watching bands and the company the magazine folded shortly after about a year they went out of business it was owned by a Spanish billionaire who said this isn't going anywhere
Starting point is 00:49:46 the newspaper the Rupert Murdoch of Spain for some reason on this publication and he shut that down and then I had to go to the call center and that was rough and then I thought I'll become a copywriter
Starting point is 00:49:57 I've got some like I'll write ads but I didn't have an in I've been doing comedy I'd you know did you have a degree from a university right I did but it was in like
Starting point is 00:50:06 classical antiquity it was in like Roman history okay but still a degree's a degree like over there right you gotta have a degree to get a job a good job
Starting point is 00:50:15 yeah But so many people have them. Okay. That it's, I could have, I've never had a job that's used the degree. I could have done any of these jobs without it. Okay. But then I, man, I, this is before AI. And I'm glad I moved to America just as AI was starting to take over this industry.
Starting point is 00:50:32 Gotcha. But I would, you know, I would do $4 an hour jobs to get experience that were meant to be done by, like, Indians. You're meant to be in a third world country not writing very well. But I applied for one of those jobs and I got it. And they're like, okay. You've got to write 15,000 words a day about garage doors. And I would just sit and this is, I only did this because I'd gotten married. I got married.
Starting point is 00:50:59 We got all the wedding money. You get, you know, we invited a lot of people with the wedding. We had a very cheap wedding. What did you make? Oh, I would have made like 10 grand off of the wedding. Pretty good. And the wedding, I don't think I had to pay, I had to pay $400 for the priest. No, like for the, you know, the church rental.
Starting point is 00:51:14 We did the reception in my parents' backyard. and we just lived off that money while she was pregnant and she had the bad morning sickness with the first baby and as we're going through that money I'm selling I had two guitars that I'd had for years I sold there I sold everything I loved and then I got this job writing Indian copy and I found I could really fucking do that
Starting point is 00:51:34 I could power through I could write 10, 15, 20,000 words of slop about like why should you, it was all these out you know like why should you start a coffee business reason number and like they use these words over and over again Jesus and then you have three two more kids yeah
Starting point is 00:51:54 because I'm a devout Catholic man and condoms are evil and so you're stripping and scraping this whole way yes and then okay the rent was always a problem and then did you live at your moms all the way through it too no I couldn't know we had to move out so we
Starting point is 00:52:11 we moved out to the western service so I I grew up in the eastern suburbs because my parents were up with, you know, they're doing well. They went to go over there. That's the nice part of town. We moved into the western suburbs where there's a little more. Oh, I remember one time we went on a road trip because I could work remote. I could sit.
Starting point is 00:52:28 What I would do is I would help with the kids during the day. And then at night when she'd go to bed, I was like. It's the copywriting job. Yes. So you're sticking with this. Yes. Okay. So I could work remote because it was all meant for Indians overseas at this point.
Starting point is 00:52:40 So what I would do is, so one night we're in this rough neighborhood. And the house across the street When you're doing an outsourced fucking job It was a rough time The comedy is starting to grow in Australia at this point But even if you're like a good cult act A $20,000 year is a That's a good year
Starting point is 00:52:58 That's a good year That's on Australian money too So I'd say $12,000 year is a good year There was a meth lab Across the street And the sense would come in at night And we were going This can't be good for the children's brains
Starting point is 00:53:11 The chemicals wafting in And it's like Don't have air conditioning so you've got the window has to be open so we can but then the fucking meth smell is coming in then one night the gunshots went off across the street because it had been some sort of dispute and i was like everybody get in the car we're going on a road trip and i just drove the family to camber it was like a it's like a three-day drive i just put that it was like a real snap mentally i'd also i'd had covered not long before this this is like the last thing that happened before i made good
Starting point is 00:53:39 in america i didn't know i was going to make good in america but this is sort of where i was that I just drive the family across the country and I remember I would go off like at night because I could do the work whenever but I would you know be in a cheap Airbnb and I'd go off to McDonald's and I'd sit and I'd write like 8,000 words of copy for like a mattress company and like just write you know eight pieces a thousand words each try and use queen size mattress over and over again and I remember it's just they want queen size they want those words in so I tried to work in size queen as many times as I could I thought. I thought that was fun. You've got to make it interesting for yourself. It's a comic. But I worked my way up to a better copywriting job. Okay. A year and a half before we got it.
Starting point is 00:54:23 And then financially it was starting to go. It was a little better. And then give me the night that you met Shane. My brother said you've got to come and see this guy. You're still in this kind of situation? Oh, yeah. Okay. Yes.
Starting point is 00:54:36 I think we might have had third child on the way by that point. Okay. Are you still in the meth house? We'd managed to move to a house that was in a better neighborhood but was not a good fit. You got kids running around and there's two bedrooms.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Also, the parents have split by that point, so dad's also living with us. This is fucking brutal. Kind of like the pursuit of happiness. I was thinking through the start. My dog got ran over by a car. This doesn't sound poor enough. I kept thinking at the start,
Starting point is 00:55:11 But in my heart, I know, no, we're going to get to the good, poor stuff. Yeah, you guys, it's got to be, you know, it's the hustle. You've only ever held jobs that are exclusively in India. I respect. But you're doing them in your home. You grew up. Your dad moves in with you. Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:28 Your mom stays in the house. Yeah. She'd have left him at that apartment and moved in with your mom. He had the house. She was living with us first. Oh, my God. Anyway, it was a lot. And he also, he ran for, Paul.
Starting point is 00:55:41 politics for a right wing party and didn't win and that was and he was living with us and what in the fuck and he ran a good campaign and frankly i believe he should run again he's a good man my mother is a good woman they're good people which they could sort it out the uh okay so your dad's living with you and then your buddies some of the timelines here are difficult it was a bit of a it was a bit of a hectic time but my brother my brother goes come and watch this guy perform, he's the guy who got cancelled and I'd been vaguely aware that that had happened. But I hadn't seen any of that.
Starting point is 00:56:14 I'd watched the blind guy at the wedding sketch. Do you know this? Oh yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I loved, I like that. That was the only one I'd seen. And I went and it was like, oh, stand-up is, I didn't know he was the best to do it. I just at that point
Starting point is 00:56:29 I thought, ah, fuck, you can do stand-up again. Like stand-up can be great. And people will come. It was, there were like 300 people at the Norwood Town Hall and it was all men. at this point and I remember they sold out of beer because they didn't know
Starting point is 00:56:42 what the audience was going to be and so all these like Shane Gillis fans in Australia had to buy white wines and sit with two enormous white wines in the front row and it was like there'd been no
Starting point is 00:56:52 I mean to this day in Australia there's nothing really that's tapping into that might have just like men who want to laugh and some ladies too but it's like it's all been like very feminized and old like it's all for the old
Starting point is 00:57:04 TV generation there's not a lot of big pop car got you And I went to that And I didn't get to open My buddy opened But my brother really wanted to meet Shane So I texted the open
Starting point is 00:57:14 I said can we come Can I come back and say hello And we got to go in And we hit it off And it's the only time I It was like I don't know why I did it But I said can I open for you
Starting point is 00:57:25 On the next one Because I was He was doing more shows in Australia That was like halfway through the run I was like can I go to Are you doing comedy at the time? Yes Yeah
Starting point is 00:57:34 So I said the podcast And the podcast was And the podcast was very James Donald Forbes became Catamaran plan was not the behemoth that it is now. You had already started the podcast over there. Yes. All right. I had thought at that point that because then Patreon stuff.
Starting point is 00:57:48 I mean, Patreon was like a couple hundred bucks a month. But I was like, there's actually a future in that. Maybe the comedy is never going to. I'd keep trying. I keep putting things up. I got a couple clips that went good on Instagram, but you can't feed your family with a viral clip on Instagram. TikTok maybe. I don't know what their model is, but I don't believe in it.
Starting point is 00:58:07 So I said, can I open for you in Melbourne? And he said, sure. He said, is it close? And I said, yes, which is not true. And it was the next night. And I think I borrowed the money because the only ticket I could get was like a down the front of the plane, $600 ticket. You have to fly. You have to fly.
Starting point is 00:58:26 And so I paid a big lump of money to fly to, more than all the money I had to fly to fly to Melbourne and do the show opening for him in Melbourne the next time. And it was great. He was a wonderful man. we got talking and I I thought that was going to be it but I had a friend who was at the show and they said ask if you can go to America and stay with him I was like that's gross you can't ask people that
Starting point is 00:58:47 she said do it what do you have to lose and I didn't he said yeah if you're ever in America you can come and stay with me and I booked a trip to America and then I met you all Jesus Christ that's fucking quick that was like two three months later and then when I got back that was in like September
Starting point is 00:59:03 and the third baby came at the start of December and the parents broke Cup in October. Okay. It was a big run. But I thought that was it. And the Phillies lost. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:59:16 But I thought that would be, I thought I just had like a nice week and a half in America. Man, I had a big layover in LAX. I'd never been to America before. I had a big suitcase and I thought I'll walk around Los Angeles. Oh, my God. Just Amelia turns into a homeless guy. Why, is that the way you came in? You came in the other way?
Starting point is 00:59:33 Yes. No, not the Europe way. You come in. So I came into L.A. Okay. And I thought, well, I've got a day. I can spend a day. And I hadn't slept on the flight because there was this fucking woman yammering the whole.
Starting point is 00:59:44 I didn't get to sleep at all in the flight. And someone said, go to Venice Beach. It's close to the airport. It's beautiful. So I was at 8 a.m. at Venice Beach with my suitcase, just watching, that's the first thing I saw in America was just like psychotic guys shouting into the ocean. And also the fanciest hotels I'd ever seen in my life. And I went to the hotels because I tried to, we have a thing called like a, a.
Starting point is 01:00:06 a day rate where you can pay to like take a nap somewhere and I go in there I was asking everybody have you got a day rate and they were looking at me weirdly I realized it sounded like I might have been saying date rape I don't know I'd like to take a nap here if that's okay yeah that was what I was I didn't realize it was the homelessness care I was going can I have a nap somewhere I'm very tired I don't want to see anything what's your shit shower shave rate huh it was like some guys it's like 700 dollars if you want to stay yeah there's a there's a there's a bomb out there so we gotta wrap it up though I mean we're gonna get you I hate to cut you off what well it's been great
Starting point is 01:00:38 I really had a nice time we had a great time thank you for having me you're here you're coming back I'll have you for part two yeah yeah of course you're welcome to come on the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran plan anytime
Starting point is 01:00:49 thank you thank you gang do yourself a favor check out the brand new special on September 1st it comes out all right of course pick up the book disquieting levels of egg his fourth book of poems
Starting point is 01:01:00 and of course listen to the James Donald Forbes Bacan Catamaran Plan and we'll be back for part two with James Donald Forbes McCann and this tale of absolute whoa that we have heard which is unbelievable tickets on sound now I'm going all over the place look at them we love you
Starting point is 01:01:20 go check I really appreciate this this is really nice buddy you're coming back to hear the rest of this tale we love you so much gang we love you we'll see you next week please

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