Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Jared Freid: Flying First Class

Episode Date: March 2, 2020

Comedian and podcaster Jared Freid is our guest this week on AYG. Jared shares his strict rules on travel etiquette, charcuterie boards, stand up comedy and tailgating football games. You may know Jared from U Up? Podcast presented by Betches or the JTRAIN podcast. Have submission questions for AYG? Email: [e-mail] Please SUBSCRIBE and leave a 5 STAR REVIEW! 

welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast it's are you garbage I am your host H Foley sitting here and to my immediate right is my good pal my co-host the fucking brains behind the operation gang all right he's not only a client he's also the owner Kevin James Ryan everybody doesn't make any sense but happy to be here thanks for tuning in everybody real quick just a shout out to

everybody that just left five star reviews on ito keep them five stars coming yeah this week we got big gay and spuds McGillicuddy Kim Sue baseball freak L stulled sully fail Bundy fmsbk noro Lenny screws jmf slapio papi court can't win in gutter sleuth thank you very much we appreciate it keep them coming yeah guys please keep them coming subscribe subscribe to us on the YouTube page subscribe to us on iTunes and anywhere you guys listen to your hot pods we are out there and available whether you got a fucking Android an iPhone fucking singular sprint whatever garbage fucking service carrier you got

we'll be there okay and boys girls I gotta say we've had some guests in the past okay but this kid right here is a fucking get set next to the coronavirus itself you can't get any fucking bigger all right this guy has one out one but two amazing fucking hugely popular podcast he's got the you up podcast on Betches and he's got the original the og the fucking J train podcast he performs at clubs all over the fucking country and just so you guys know March 19th of the 21st he's gonna be at Laugh Boston in Boston Massachusetts then he comes back to fucking NYC April 17th through the 18th and got them comedy

club ladies and gentlemen word on the street he's got a pretty nice piece on him to Jared Fried everybody it's a strong medium thank you thank you part of the curve I'm not impressing not doing too much not showing up to work no I'm showing up to work every day that's right no issues here good to be here thank you for that intro buddy thank you man we really appreciate it you know uncle you know I'm a big fan all right I'm a big fan I'm a fan of yours thank you buddy I like you I like watching you on stage you're so funny thank you good to be here with you Kevin thank you big fans you both so I'm happy to be here

couple how many episodes are we in yet we're this is five fifth episode five yeah I am really very I'm I feel I'm you know I feel nice it's nice you're number three we're bumping you to the head we're dropping you Monday I know we're going in for the spring you are definitely by far especially in the like my my group of friends are people that I know you're a comedian 99% of the time it's do you know Jared free really train and or Schultz Schultz but it's it's usually you're the goat you know a lot of Jews I know a lot yeah I went to say girl a lot of Jews and a lot of bros so that's a right away that's

my wheel it's young professionals with a little bit of cash in their 30s who are about to settle down and hey I just want everybody out di we're gonna be doing a little ass kissing for the next couple of minutes I don't have anything in less of us all right but this is like fucking Superman walking in to be in my best I was at a show I was hosted at New York Comedy Club on four she maybe like a month ago and I look up and there is a fucking 10 I mean a 10 a New York City 10 going hey I thought you're really funny your buddies with Jared freed aren't you and my fucking head all of a sudden my hat was on backwards

I thought my collar like yeah we're fucking yeah I did this podcast she's again that's where I heard you on the way I just died please hug me please yeah please touch me hey get over here you make eye contact again one more time I woman just to compliment and fold it yeah right like Lenny of my yeah can hear you just to go one step further all right now I'm garbage but I spent a lot of time in the in the fine dining okay profession okay so I'm big on you know the right way to do this the right way to do that all that kind of stuff there's a right and a wrong yeah one of the things that Jared does that I think

is so fucking funny and I think there's a fucking show there okay use fucking people's who's our tutor reports right because that's the thing man you're you're at that perfect age okay and you you definitely have a high-income demographic all right yeah I'm sign fell through those first bullshit fucking episodes that he put on here otherwise no this makes sense he wasn't selling fucking low and brown fucking BMWs he would have been at the door yeah we're bringing this is this is a fair point right yeah so you and you have but I've also always you know I've never really this is who I am I come I know one of

the unbelievable things was this this like when I first started doing standup was like ever like I would go up and talk about like going on dates and it was like what like as if I was going up and screaming racial slurs yeah of course so annoyed a bunch of losers yeah what's wrong with these people I was like yeah like what you guys don't have any connection to this at all like you can't see anyone connecting with us you guys ever get your lacrosse stick stuck in your head yeah and the girl you likes on the sidelines yeah like I but I understand like that it's not relatable is broken down yeah I would but like I

always gave the other side the benefit of the doubt like I hear someone go up and be like you talk about how like you know I'm like a DC movie ruined their life and I like okay I can understand where you're coming yeah like that's not my perspective but I get it and there was never I don't maybe because like I'm so mate like my perspective has been on TV forever in entertainment forever that I'm like we've had enough yeah but apparently not because fucking the numbers don't lie baby the silent majority like the opposite of the personality of a lot of like beginning comedians dude there was someone that

went on stage last I did a show last night and the guy who's put it together like he's a normal nice guy funny and then he for whatever reason this was his show but he was like it was his big anniversary show and then he would bring up this like guy who wasn't a comic but he was like interviewing him I don't know if this is very confusing but okay I'm on board basically this guy with a huge Gandalf looking beard and like he's like this like you know that like older younger hipster like they have like young face like they look like they've never dealt with the stresses of life yeah but they've aged they're old they're

old from money they probably sold a lot of weed and fucking college yes still dressing like they're 14 but they're 80 so this guy was like interviewing the host of the show but he he goes and he was trying to do like a bit and the bit was like basically asking the host of the show so like about comedians he goes so they say that comedians are and then he goes through this horrific list of characteristics yeah he goes he goes assholes depressed narcissists yeah and he goes to like ten negative negative things and I was like and then he's like what's up with you you know what's your problem to the host and I and I was

sitting in the back just like see yeah I'm like you just want people to be as miserable as you and you didn't even take the chance to do stand you know like you're putting your shit on other people yeah please tell me you're terrible as well yeah and he's like so you get you know so you know now that I know your darkness and it's like I knew I was about to go up and talk about the bachelor for like 30 minutes this guy's gonna hate me I'm about to go up and be like so pimple popper yeah right but I do love a chakuta report I'm a huge like here's so funny dude thank you but here's the thing this is this is the

interesting part it's not like he's going out and looking for them they're knocking on his door that's where the fucking I'm getting a hundred a week it's so funny that's for the thing and I had this idea for this thing you know this doesn't matter because it's locked in here just in case anybody tries to get smart and get some fucking bozo to do it okay but if you went to people's parties like like like people that like in their 30s they just got married they bought a home yeah they have like that fucking you know that housewarming party or that Super Bowl party or that thing in the summer yeah if you went and

critiqued how the what what the spread was like are the beers warm like the live laugh love thing I'm trying you know I take I consider all of my social media to be incubators for things that could be like larger ideas so it's like no I should hear everything only started because I tweeted out the tweet was I can tell what type of parent you'll be based on your chakuta report then I go and then it was fine like a 12 30 in the morning tweet that I thought nothing of the next day I was going my girlfriend on vacation and all these people were responding to tweet so what kind of parent would I be what can I be what I

be and I didn't know that all these women have pictures of the boards that they made in their pocket so I know the first thing they do they do they want to look cool at they want they read fucking Martha Stewart magazine home and garden they want their fucking house to look like that so the point of the whole review of them is to say is that thing where it's like you're creating a meal for people I'm the hungry husband walking in yes that's every review of my lens is through the lens of the hungry husband is all you got yeah this is what fucking bike at a driveway yeah you told me not to eat dinner yeah and this is

what they fucking this is what this is what am I supposed to expect next you're you know if this is the the beginning what's the end gonna be you know like and I'm playing never getting off the ground this is the but when charcuterie boards to me are the perfect metaphor for Instagram versus reality sure what does fulfill versus what is fulfilled you know what what is junk food versus filling what I never I noticed the other people that have submitted to you they never skimp so it's never like I wouldn't eat that no but it's just like we're being fucking you know they want the Ramsey

critiquing of this all right yes you know the grapes not on the vine fucking black olives out of a can absolutely and it was right you're looking for what's wrong the multicolored cheese what this is what I'm saying this is Colby fucking Kobe I'm with you man and it bothers me to my core because I look at some of these and I go and I'm offended for the guy there who is hungry show of course and I mean the thing is you did you make this for likes or did you make this for actual fulfillment of the person to fulfill someone's stomach satisfy so satisfy somebody when I see an acorn on the board that acorn that acorn is a

symbol of narcissism of you not have you not caring about me have you caring about yourself I remember going to a wedding once okay I go to this wedding and there's one bar okay one bar and everyone's lined up at this bar and they're all hot as shit there's no AC it's an outdoor wedding and and then I see the groomsmen and the grooms the groomsmen in the groom are all in matching suits and I said to one of the guys I go how what's the matching suits he goes oh this we all got specially made suits like suit suits like like suit suits like like we got hand stitched especially and he's showing me the

initials and he's like and and the groom paid you know for it and that was his gift to the groomsmen I was like that's so I was like so seven of you got suits instead of another bar yeah you can drop a grand on suits that's why I don't know where you were going with that I was like a brand new suit I mean this is what I'm talking about this is what people people it's okay to kind of look beyond is that there's a pie chart everything there's a finite amount of resources for everything we do we have only so many hours in the day you only have so many so many so much inches on the charcuterie board of life sure and I'll

say this in defense see I think that's a garbage move in some ways but then I also say if you're real garbage okay if you're if you're like you know from a working-class environment you're gonna put the money into that extra bar and not the fucking suit that's but to me that's a garbage perspective you know one person's garbage is another person's treasure this is one of those moments where it's like you know you it's all about perspective because I'm killing for the free suits my dad my dad when he goes to a restaurant he'll go like we went to a new restaurant and I was like and he goes his one review of the

restaurant was I don't know if I get a burger I want the burger coming off the plate yeah that was his only review he goes that it's a small but I want it coming off I go but how did the burger taste he goes it wasn't coming off the plate doesn't matter we're talking about two different things yeah yeah what do you mean he wants it he wants it huge he wants the burger so big that he has to bring some home and he has breakfast tomorrow he is thinking he doesn't care about the taste like a raccoon not a person give me portions I don't I don't want that one I wanted as big as my dad no he loves it my dad my dad like would

rather go to Maggiano's for like a family style meal go to like what carbon and get like a tasting thing from the chef I got you that's and it's all about value it's value it's value and it's where do you place your values and and that's what a charcuterie board that's garbage a little bit I like his dad it's a garbage mentality but like to me to him and to me when I review these boards I think you're a garbage person for putting an angry acorn on yeah because you're all these you're not yeah well you're being a dick yeah you're doing that for you that's that's that's self-serving that was for you and your

Instagram profile eat the fucking acorn lady I was I always want to eat you know I want to eat the acorn I want to choke on the acorn and go this is cuz of you like I want to be holding my throat going I told you no acorns like I I've eaten the garnish before and got people gotten really mad at me yeah dinner what are you doing a girlfriend embarrassing me they do the clothes mouth yell do embarrassing me that's like around the holidays all these points that is dude I can point up with the points that is yeah I made a couple cheez-its in here we I'm starving I made a board a couple of weeks ago I had

people did you're making boards when I had people I didn't take it I was so you were so I swear to God I think it was trash the night before I started making it he was in my head he was in my fucking head I can tell them I would open my girl went out and bought everything and then I knew I was gonna have to make it the next day it was for any rits on that when we got married no and I was like I had opened up the thing and I'm like I was like this is what she bought I'm like I might have to go out in the morning and like get more shit I was like I was I didn't you making a board for people yeah no not one

not for myself for people yeah yeah I make a board for myself sometimes big full he's upset he didn't get invited oh no he's got married and get the fucking invite oh my god yeah I had to pay two seats it's different you know in his defense he had a these are finite resource city a city very finite resources it was for visa purposes you know we might get my ladies from another country so it was like a 90 day fiance situation similar yes it was very run-and-gun you know what I mean he loves the trashy TV man oh dude I just started watching 90 day fiance with my lady and you watch what does she think as someone who's

coming from another country of 90 day fiance well it's pretty funny this we had I had the perspective change of like she watches it and she's like oh I understand this journey the journey these girls are making of course and I look and I'm like oh I'm a warm man wait are they all from another country is that the whole deal the whole deal is hold on yeah the show is so popular now it's you now there's like three spindle there's like seven yeah it's crazy so now you don't know which way is up in which way is that they have going there they have coming here they have before the 90 days after the 90 days it's all it's a

whole it's actually get married yeah a lot of them are a good job a portion of them do yeah any hotties what's the deal there's a couple there's a couple that you're like that well that's the thing they all have their own separate storylines so like some of the storylines are based in he has money she's very young or it's based in they don't speak in the same language or they or it's based in that you know the she you know that he wants to be something here you know like they all it's not it's not toes it doesn't slam one gender it doesn't slam one age group it's slams young people old people race

everything it's a cross it's every country it's a really across all like you're in a Columbia to fucking Poland it's literally fucking all across the world it's a great show and they're also I used to think the bachelor had the best editors on TV I think that's 90 day it's been really good I'm like I'm a fucking crook because I look at the dudes and I just relate to them I'm like oh I'm a fucking wacko why just cuz I brought this girl over from another country she's like oh my god these they're doing this journey and I'm just like sitting there and they just cut to the guys like

balding soup out of a can I'm like it is nice that she's like look at their journey and she's not like make like it would be bad if you looked over and she's like I can't believe she didn't sign that paperwork like I like ah she played it wrong like if she's playing like Monday morning quarterback on how to fuck over the guy yeah how do you know about mother be nice to the mother yeah how do you know so much about visa you know laws yeah good stuff I want to get into the game here we're gonna play the game gang this is why we're here this is are you garbage it's everybody's fucking brand new favorite podcast okay

so what's the game what are we doing so the game is we're gonna ask you a series of questions my friends let me just tell the listeners at home age fully was like come on the podcast and I go great and then he nothing else was literally I learned the name of this podcast via my cannons episode and I go I guess I'm garbage let's do this so I don't know anything I know as much as the listener does yes I think you're I say you're not garbage and I say you're the first one that isn't garbage because we've all been garbage we have my cannon he's trash yeah Donnelly of course Donnelly was on the on the fence there

name's a good guy we got Nate Matt coming up yeah Canadian garbage I don't think he's garbage but he grew up in poverty but I hear what's your dad this is the other definition of garbage so this is this is kind of it's it does it's not based on money well okay because the name of McDonald's we all just agreed is garbage even though you just from knowing that he grew up or it wasn't big I hope I Canadian thing I don't know Canadians there's some nice people that are Canadian I don't know garbage to me is like hey I'll say it right now if you're Canadian you're a liar like a garbage is a liar it's behavior in

public it's not it's not poverty line it's like if you like take your socks off on the fucking plane I might be garbage your fucking trash do you take your socks off on the plane no okay I do take my shoes off if I'm in first class that is the only way I won't very admirable I'll only take my shoes off if I'm in first class in a lie-down seat that's the only way I think it's appropriate but I would train for 20 I wouldn't shame I also wouldn't shame someone for like the passenger shaming Instagram account you guys follow them I've seen I've been on it yeah you gotta watch it the girl who has her feet on the screen and she's

flipping the channels with her that's garbage yeah say something to her if she was sitting next to you I don't know I think when I when I want when I follow passenger shaming and I see their pose I I do think more of them are debatable than not yeah like I don't think that all of them are black and white like the you know when you see a foot and someone's earlier and you're like yeah get the fuck yeah like like that whole debate of the guy with the woman the woman reclined yeah that guy's a piece of shit I think the guy's a piece of shit because listen like you know this that lands in the life isn't fair

category you're in the last see the plane that sucks but it's like he probably did something and he probably bought like the Super Saver fucking ticket that you don't get to choose your seat and like they put you there even beyond that the chair allows for the woman to recline a certain amount okay it doesn't go back eight inches it doesn't go back three inches it goes back four okay that's you know the same with life yeah like sometimes it rains when you're supposed to be outside all day you know like it sucks but I so I don't understand who's defending him and I don't know what the other thing is you

don't know what happened before like I don't yeah I don't know if there was a nice conversation of saying hey there was I think she she put it back and he said hey you might wait until I'm finished eaten and she did and then when he got done she put it back and then I guess he fucking freaked out that's the thing like I look like a little fucking bitch I just yeah I don't like the idea of like yeah and it but it's like these things online is the land of black and white that's why it's so much fun sometimes but it's also why it gets kind yeah exactly no there's nothing you know nothing's click worthy about the gray

area of these people had a disagreement about the seat yeah but I do have a lot of plain opinions so yes well let's get down to the game here so I score is that what it is we yeah there's no we're just gonna determine at the end whether your garbage you're not okay I like this which I was leaning toward not garbage and he said you think about your dad with the hamburger no listen we you know good value just to just to just to get a little idea here you grew up in what was the town in Massachusetts outside of Boston called Needham it's right next to Newton that's right also known as Juton I've come people do refer to it as

Juton's anti-Semites your parents your parents were Dennis right no no your parents were Dennis I don't know are you looking at me like I give you a fact sheet on the fucking guy I don't know did you would you say you grew up upper middle class or a little bit more I'll call it upper middle class yeah I would say you know we did not I pictured you guys growing up like fifties rich you know like families in the fifties they weren't like rich but they have like nice houses and they all had maids you had a maid didn't you we didn't we didn't call them the maid I wasn't like you know the maids here like that we had help

around the house yeah that's who was the name of your landscaper my landscaper yeah Trini Petrini landscaping that's pretty nice yeah well you know I first I thought it was a guy I think that was like I think it's a company don't correct me on the don't don't quote me on that but I think that's it I can't believe how quickly I pulled that out of my ass but I was like you just wrote him a check yeah hit him kippy all right have you ever put subwoofers in your car no okay was that big you were growing up no also not a big thing around where I was like I remember one time growing up my friend

Aaron he put a like a tip remember that video on YouTube the whistler tip the whistle tip was like I fucking hate the sound that one of those cars drives by I want to kill so my friend put one of those on his car in high school and it was funny because it I love it for the joke he thought it was cool but then it went like it didn't it didn't induce the reaction that he thought it would it was so high-pitched that it was actually hilarious but it was so annoying it was gonna be a good idea that's great let me just think of him and now I'm gonna call are you familiar with a product known as sunny the light of course drink it when

you were a kid never didn't like the taste thought it was a tangy yeah it was a bad on the back of the throat now don't know straight orange juice minimal pulp wow chopper like leveling pulps we yeah we go to orange juice with a little bit of pulp chopper camera I don't remember maybe sometimes we get like the good stuff it's got kids I was such a cunt grown up I remember my mom would buy polite meter maybe would make her strain the pulp out what really such a cunt sometimes with ice I was really good orange juice the ice I love that one sick yeah I've ever had that okay little little tidbit for the

coronavirus people out there it's common baby we could all be dead next week so yeah maybe I shouldn't all right have you ever hung out on a couch in a garage no no oh classy that's up we got living rooms we got second living rooms where I'm from that was that was big that was big cuz like where when we grew up cuz there was like it was like a place to go out and like you would like sneak sakes and drink that to me is like that 70s show yeah you guys hang out what you guys second-living room I'm waiting for the maid to serve a shark shooter yeah my god the second-living

room yeah the second-living room was always like the TV room you know they'd give it they don't want to call the second-living room be like that's the living room and then that's the TV room you like yeah you got two fucking living yeah it's too living a lot of kids I grew up with called it their parents called it the great room in the great the great room yeah that's very we didn't have a great that's very gentle yeah that is we go to the great room after first communion yeah yeah that doesn't feel you we had the family room the living yeah we had the living room in the porch our kids are kids gonna be

like we had the fallout shelter to escape the fallout room the panic room wherever we want all right let's quit screwing around here with this guy start playing fucking hardball yeah don't buddy all right freed here we go do you any member of your family have a tattoo of the drummer known as animal no tattoos no tattoos of my whole family except for one a couple cousins but my one cousin when he got a tattoo it was all is it it sorry go it was a tribal armband because he was of the age when that was like a that was in the 90s or like early 2000 that's a little garbage do you talk to him not anymore

actually not not well we had other issues is that because that a really is that a Jewish thing religion or is it just class like you Jewish thing Jewish tribal armband no to not oh yeah no tattoos on the Jews I wasn't sure how they won't bury in the cemetery well they say that's a myth I've never looked into it enough my I had a fleeting thought of getting a tattoo once and then I was like you know what I'm out I don't want to that was that was one of my questions a bit when we were growing up the big thing was you're getting your like initials in Old English or something or

like your last name we were like there were certain parts of my town that we're not the magic code red suburbs of Boston the big thing is a Irish like the shamrock like before the fighting Irish guy that was that was big for those of the people that I would have to deal with crosses across the street and shit all your follies and all those guys so obviously nobody in your family any articles of clothing tire covers or any kind of body art with the individual known as the Tasmanian devil no Tasmanian devil we were into Taz art alright I've seen this I understand I understand where these

questions are coming sure you and a little I've watched you know MTV spring break Daytona Beach yeah yeah have you ever gone to a live professional wrestling event yes many Wow are you many as a recent or child any paper views meet I've been to everyone that came to Boston we would go my seats were nicer than what you think yeah so I've fond memory of survivor series yeah I was a bit with my family my brother my dad and I loved wrestling did you make posters no posters but we were we would dad to my dad loves wrestling so we would growing up my dad would receive this is actually crazy there was this wrestling

newsletter before the internet yeah that you could get like the image of your dad like running out to the mailbox to get it hold on it gets worse we growing up it's garbage yeah I know it's more of his dad I think he's he my dad's would get this magazine that would give you inside wrestling like like stuff you'd find out on the internet like it was a chat room sure sure sure before the internet but he would get it he didn't want to pay for it so he would so my dad's best friend from growing up used to read it first then send it to us and then can you imagine that's fucking trash but now but like now like can you

imagine like putting something in the mail for your friend on a monthly basis yeah you don't even put things in the mail you don't even put your bills in the mail some months dude I don't mail things that I'm supposed to mail I try to do I'll go Google anyway around it I'll go absolutely I don't mail this guy was going to bat for my family and it would sit in our toilet until the next month yeah that's fucking wild it's pretty crazy yeah all right I'm gonna ask you a series of questions on this one okay now did you ever own or have a collection of the following items all right now please note that all collections

must be answered no to not be considered garbage you understand I'm saying if you go nose across the board gotta be nose across the board no okay collection ready or any of these items ever in your house swords of any kind no num chucks no yo-yos no Chinese stars no never had a Chinese star growing up no not even thought of dude what I know you did scumbag no I had a couple of nun chucks I'm not gonna lie here no what's a couple of martial artists between friends no Asian fighting hair finale I did have my own chopsticks what about him has so far did you think he was gonna answer yes to any of those I

Chinese star I thought I would just hang in there all right dude I what about beanie babies yes that's well you're that's an investment though this is all like hanging on unjuiness like like I flinch on the subway when the dancers come through like I'm that type of you so like I like the beanie babies like my grandmother was in love my grandmother was like down with the beanies are they still floating around the family at all are they in a basement anything she was so in and then the McDonald's beanie babies were like a huge deal my grandmother was like in on that I knew the Chinese knockoff beanie boo that was

a big deal you fucking with me please tell me your beanie booze beanie booze I Chinese knockoff you're fucking dry ever played darts before yeah trash lawn darts I think they outlawed that they outlawed that like the 20s dude what are you talking those are the ones you like flip up and then they like they were going when I was a kid but they would always be like one in the back a rusty one yeah no I never had those and he ever pick any the following belly button have I picked my belly button yeah yeah every nose nose 10 minutes ago but hole yes of course what feels better than that just a little bit a little finger nail

that's a little too long a butthole a little too wet is there anything better I mean that's vacation that is that's far from garbage buddy that's an extra 10 minutes in the shower you're like I don't know if this is wrong or right I've had a big thing with my taint lately I don't know what it is a little different when you say it okay your taint looks like the fucking access for it really scrub it down there I can't hear about your taint I can't I gotta draw the lines you heard of exfoliant oh god now you know what the dogs feeling when his balls he's probably in paradise yeah it's a good day to be a dog Jesus

Christ alright this goes back to travel have you ever bought food in the terminal taking it on the plane and eating it there no like a meal against this you can't be bringing like a burger or something here's my test now here's my here's my I want to know I what I say is you're allowed to bring anything on the flight that doesn't stick to the wall perfect so if I can take your pre-flight snack and throw it against the wall and it doesn't stick you're on the plane you're good eminence crackers eminence peanuts whatever but if I take a burger but yeah but if you come in with a pulled pork sandwich people are

fucking doing I don't travel that much people are fucking people are doing it I don't do it it's just it's it's just not right I I think that's worse than the shoes often with socks on I think it's especially since I it's the shoes off with socks is like common now especially if on a longer flight it's very everybody doing it thick new sock yeah you're working good socks sure I'm all about it especially you know if you're flying to Europe or to LA or whatever from New York I totally I'm on board but I've seen people do no solid take their socks off and it's I saw so one guy cut his fucking toenails yeah on a way to

Europe that's crazy I think also a lot of this stuff eat them is foreigners intermingling like not sure not knowing like that might be socially acceptable because like the flight to Europe like that makes sense to me like I'm not to say it meant to be like a like a like a like a like an USA all the way I feel like we've had these conversations amongst us yes I know that last night I sat next to this date okay there was a date next to me I'm at and I was like starving I need all day where were you went to a sushi place okay in like West Village by yourself just by myself that's classy put headphones in dinner by

myself sushi always so I put in some headphones but they seat me right next to this date and I got a Diet Coke and I'm like you know you're eating by yourself with headphones on so you just turned into a big fat fucking animal like you know huffing down I'm just going and at one point like I take a sushi and I put it down and I take a sip of soda and like you have that and I just go and I burn and I like and I like oh my and then like all of a sudden I find myself back in yeah and I check back in I look over and this is like nice looking couple next to me where I've definitely ruined their day but then I

was like I turned off the podcast I was listening to like like Jared fucking quiet down you horse and then I like listening to them and there was a moment where I go maybe they don't speak English and I was like in my mind if they didn't speak English it would have been better it would have been fine but like a burp is a burp is a burp Russian Mandarin it's a burp but I do think when you don't speak the language of the people you're around you think that there's some sort of like tech like like a window like we have like you're in a booth a little bit I think you forget yeah yeah so it goes both ways I'm

saying you know form person cutting the nails being like yeah I speak German who the fuck knows you know I'm clipping my toes in German yes you know so I understand and also but like what are you traveling you sweats jeans so I have a very specific you travel a lot I travel a good amount I have been recently I'm lucky enough to do that so I I go sneakers mm-hmm Lulu lemon pants black t-shirt Lulu lemon sweatshirt hat Bose headphones I want to be all black lemon that's clean all Lulu lemon I want wicking moisture technology like sweat pants I do like the joggers I don't want the ones that like I they have to cut at

the ankle yeah and I have to have zip pockets and I don't want to like wear a belt like I want to be so sleek that I never break stride through TSA yeah yeah that's the podcast dude you got to do it rob a Lulu lemon it feels good what's a pair of slacks at Lulu lemon is on you well they have that new 150 yeah you're investing you're I only have two pairs of them it's not like I have a bunch of holy shit the big thing with sweatshirt you need the zip that's a problem I have a back pocket zip with the front that is open for my phone so the back pocket I can put like an ID zip it up great okay walk right through I also

Lulu lemon underwear yeah this is got Lulu lemon underwear I was insulted by the question but I didn't bring it up so you ever have a Hawaiian pizza no what do we do I have a Hawaiian pizza see Hawaiian pizza feels like what people have when they like imagined Hawaiian yeah oh yeah yeah like it wasn't like the people what tropical bullshit can we put on that's like some guy in Brooklyn this is a sunny day on top of it all right this is from one of our from one of the from one of the dumpsters calling the fans dumpsters made that one up you guys are an SNL parody of a podcast that just started it's so funny because I didn't

know I don't know if SNL has done this bit but like two guys starting a podcast on episode one being like subscribe on YouTube great review subscribe come on you gotta you gotta give me those five stars you haven't even started the show yet no the dumpsters I gotta hear from the dumpsters and they're like get on the patreon the patrons 5.99 a month you're gonna get an extra episode of the garbage time every day every day every day I love what you're doing I love that you came out we're doing it the right way I think you are I know I'm agreeing but it's so funny now like all of these things in grain like we all know the

things yeah so like I remember when I started you up like I knew how I was like I know how to direct this you know this large cruise ship I know that we need people to make it their Instagram stories which you should ask people to make their Instagram stories that they're listening you heard J train making your fucking story so I but I knew when I but you know like when I J train started like eight seven eight years ago now so like now I look back I'm like man if I could get that restart I'd be up on the charts they'd see me you know like I understand but it was fun it's funny that like when I started you

up we were like okay like I remember like Jordana who's the co-host she was like I was like we got to get him to rate reviews yeah I knew all the pieces but it's like cuz we're all comics so we all know people with podcast of course yes someone yeah if you're outside of this world like it's like when someone's like you're putting up stand up on Instagram it's like yeah we follow I follow five hundred comedians yeah yeah so it's like everyone's doing the one person that one person that follows you's gonna go this is the best ever I get free comedy yeah yeah yeah yeah we've also heard 15,000 comedians like rape review

subscribe right right right that doesn't help out at this point yeah it's coming in two weeks I promise you gonna be on our tombstone so as I said this is from one of the dumpsters okay that makes my fucking no good the dumpster flies everything you do everything you do is 10% to corny I'm gonna tell you no fully is on to something these are great merch yeah okay just a dumpster on a waistband we can sell waist baskets and stuff you know that's pretty good yeah okay I want a different direction but that's okay my buddy trash liners your spy hefty bank talc powder this is from our buddy Brian down the shore

okay see I'll city you're calling him yeah I knew it yeah where you know he wasn't from Avalon the garbage podcast there those in the house that's wild wood and sea I'll yeah how do you know down there I did a summer in Avalon because I went to Penn State and then everyone like a bunch of guys in my house we all got a house after I graduate the summer after I graduated we got a house down in Avalon and like speaking of which fucking lost control at the Princeton the white briar yeah I used to call the Princeton the lazy river because all you do it's

so big that you just kept walking in circles and then the white briar had the sushi yeah yeah and then you go to the no shower happy hour in Seattle yeah I know all about their Mike Penn State complete garbage there you go there's a garbage element of Penn State high school went I went to rock everybody went to play council rock everybody went to Penn State what does that stadium hold a hundred hundred and ten thousand and maybe 111 yeah I forgot about that but that goes to my my next and final way hold on I get to ask Brian's questions ever had a party ball yes course like party yeah yeah I feel like those they

were they phased out though they I mean that's a great idea party ball is a very generational thing like we had those there was like it was like the keg that was a ball yeah disposable keg totally like it was we had it in the woods that was like a high school yeah definitely had that yeah would you drink in college what was like to go to daddy like vodka soda we were fraternity guys we all want to look thin you know we gotta watch the cars yeah watch the cars and we used to go out we like vodka soda vodka soda like that was like a joke is that like yeah well we did Natty Light of course but like to keep it you know the

cheap beer remember when Red Bull Vaca's hit that was they were taking people out left and right called them bone saw bone saw those early days at the Raven that's all well it's a Red Bull Vaca like when you start to think about it you're like man what a dumb concept an upper and a lower in the same fucking drink we just oof and when you were drinking them when you were 22 or 20 or whatever and just like no hold bar just like fuck you up in a weird way wake up the next day like all shaky and stuff yeah they would get you that was before the sugar-free yeah remember them people and then you get these guys that were like no maybe

sure they're the sugar-free it's like yeah that'll really get the fuck out of here all right I got I got one more and that's it I have which I think you probably answered with the path I forgot you went to Penn State have you ever tailgated a sporting event with no intention of going into the game I went to four games in my four years of Penn State for games yeah I was the tailgate czar for my fraternity to pass down position I mean tell gates are kind of trashy King of Kings so I yeah I we would my fraternity was known for its tailgate when it when it was what fraternity it was beta theta Pi which if

you Google right now there's been very tragic news from the fraternity reason in recent events so it's like it's one of those things it's like it's it's funny what it's not funny but it's like with anything college the more you Google the worse it will get like don't Google Penn State you'll find some bad stuff don't Google beta there by you'll find some bad stuff but when I was there you know this was kind of when we you know what my group that my generation we all were nice guys and everyone wanted to be successful yeah fun and all that stuff but we used to have a tailgate where we would basically like 400 people would

show up like every week so I would this tailgate czar was a passed down position every year two guys would have it and we would Friday we'd go to like the the market and get like three types of chicken steak tips pork loin chips doing it right you get a pallet of beer yeah but they were you go to the beer store get up and then frat Saturday morning we were up at like 6 a.m. like pot we called the pots and pans you go around the house pots pans and ring them some people wake up gonna ask you that yeah we go we go to the field and like the pledges would help us and you get out there we had this place called lot D

25 which was like a very like specific area where we'd set up a grill that was about the size of this table so it was like a you know like a six foot it was a made for events not just like your regular grill for your deck so we'd have the grill the going this way and then a table creating an L and that would be like the outer perimeter of our party and then going back it was just a field and then the woods kind of like cupped us off like so we had like a little fence natural land barriers I like exactly so then what would happen was when we first were doing it we do it at the tailgate feel Penn State is built for tailgating

yeah it's the stadium surrounded by just fields and fields and fields so it's built in a way that not a lot of schools are built especially land wise so we used to be in the part of the tailgate fields where it was car car car car car so we would be kind of on top of other people we got in so much we'd have so much issues with like someone throwing someone a beer and then it would hit an old guy in the head like it was like that type of shit where it's like and then like I don't know if it's like a dad being like a walk away bleeding me like boys will be boys like I'm out of tailgate sure who cares but we were like

we'd have enough of those accents that someone's like it was funny it was as if it was like Lois and Clark yeah they were like I found better pastures there's some land on the side exactly walk over the hill and keep going so we made a big change one year to this lot d25 where it had this like natural land barriers and we get there like 6 a.m. and I would go up to cars as they because then you'd have those people like work in the parking lot like park there park there so as the people would tell them the park near us I would go up to them kind of with like a crowd control and just be like hey I'm just gonna let you know what we're

gonna get a little wild over here there's a lot of people you guys we have food we got beers we got breakfast burritos if you're here early we'd make breakfast people would get this way for free yeah with the fraternity would pay for it and then we just invite everyone when I started doing it I started taking money from other like I started being like hey lacrosse house if you want to come throw us this much and then you're all free to come we're not gonna like stamp tickets at the door but you are yeah you're contributing as a team we'll have it set up we just want your money to get it set up so yeah so we would have

this huge thing and then girls you just want girls to come so we'd set this up all college ever all college I do this girls will come exactly party girls come Halloween it's all just about girls the tailgate was so known like so regular that people would like sleep at a girl's dorm room and then they wouldn't even go home they go straight to the tailgate because they'd be like there's breakfast there wait so it was a very nice thing you just see a guy limping over the horizon yeah exactly so then so cars would come over and I go hey listen we have beer we have vodka we have all this food you're more than

welcome to have any of it if you want please but understand that there's gonna be like a lot of people here that you might not want to be around sure you're free to go I would just move your car now or pull up a seat and have a great time but know that you've been warned yeah and you're gonna catch a beer 90 yeah you're gonna watch out we're throwing beers that's right so most of the time 90% of the time they go thank you yeah in their car and drive the fuck away then there'll be the 10% they were like we had people that were like coming back like repeat yeah yeah so yeah so yeah so we do the tailgate every week and my job

was more tailgate than it was football so you know that's so I never really went to games wow that's great long story short Jared garbage thank you 100% I don't know about a hundred percent your dad for more your dad is for sure more than you Lulu lemon underwear that's fucking pretty nice yeah I'm sorry she by himself what's your sushi order real quick what do you get I like when they do something special but I don't like too much of like the may I don't like too much American on my simple guy like the two yeah avocado I like a salmon simple salmon roll with like not a roll like as I like with the salmon on top

oh shishimi guy I like a shishimi I like a Elon avocado roll is always a favorite of mine a dragon roll you're making him sick he doesn't yeah not a big chicken fingers guy we know the types yeah no fun all right so Jared one more time you're gonna be at Laf Boston March 18th through the 19th or 19th through the 21st March 19th through the 21st is Laf Boston and then I'm gonna be in oh I'm gonna be in Philly you got Philly people right yeah for June I'll be in Philly in June punchline or he'll punchline so I'll be there in June I hope the link is out and I'll be at Gotham April 17th and 18th so if you

want to come come on out Jared free.com yeah that's where I do awesome check it out. Kippy what do you got? Everything's just Kevin Ryan comedy on all social media Kevin Ryan comedy.com for dates I got a bunch of Connecticut dates coming up Jersey PA check it out and yes rate review subscribe tell a friend. Just like Kippy said rate review subscribe tell a friend we need it all right follow us we got the Instagram is that are you garbage yeah that's right are you garbage age fully on ice on Twitter and fully grams on Instagram give us a follow and take Jared's tip what do they have to do they have to story. All

they got to do is screenshot that they're listening and post it as their story. 200 people see it passively they all want to look and tag both of you guys you guys will send them a heart yeah we'll repost it yeah all right we love you guys see you guys thanks thank you