Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Jay Larson: New England Class

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Kippy and Foley are back with a CLASSIC episode featuring comedian Jay Larson. Jay talks dinner parties, comedy, and growing up outside of Boston. You know Jay Larson from Conan, Comedy Central, The Crabfeast. Originally Aired on www.GasdigitalNetwork.com on September 29th, 2020 Support our Sponsors: https:/www.sheathunderwear.com and use the code: Garbage Sign up for Gas Digital: www.GasdigitalNetwork.com - Promo code: AYG Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy. Just want to thank you for tuning in to R U Garbage. Yeah guys, make sure you subscribe. That way you get the episode as they come out and you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com, use promo code AYG to get bonus content and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming. Do it.

Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Oh, baby. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.

This is R U Garbage, the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they're complete trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day here at Gas Digital Studios, Gas Digital Network. Here in the big studio in the heart of the East Village.

I wanna thank everybody for coming out again to the live show and Philly. We appreciate you guys. We love you guys. Thank you for supporting the podcast. My co-host, who you know and who you love. All right, he is the brains behind the operation. He cooks the books.

He keeps the feds off our back. Ladies and gentlemen, do yourself a favor the next time you reach for a best pal. You go ahead and make it a kippy. He tastes great. He's less filling. And now comes in a hard seltzer, which is very nice. Kevin James Ryan, ladies and gentlemen.

Hey, what's up gang? Thanks so much for tuning in. As always, we appreciate all the support as we get this off the ground. We're apparently in the top 200 on iTunes. So please rate, review, subscribe, all that jazz. Keep us moving up. We appreciate it.

And full video available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well. And also if you want, you can sign up for gasdigitalnetwork.com. Use promo code AYG. You save a couple of bucks. We get to wet our beak a little bit. It's a win-win for everybody.

Sign up. We appreciate it. Yes, sir and gang. We could not. And I say could not be more happy to have our incredibly special guests here with us today. As an actor, he has appeared in Twin Peaks Sidekick with Matt Mira, corporate wine country,

Kerberian enthusiasm as the comedian. He's appeared on The Bond Fighter. He's appeared on The Late Late Show twice. He is live at Gotham date night. He has his own Comedy Central Prevents presents. He's seen him on all things comedy live at midnight. This is not happening. Last late call with Carson Daly, the Today Show,

he's had four appearances on Kona, which we just said before the show started, has one of the best late night appearances of all time with his wrong number story. Absolutely fantastic. He's seen him on the church of what's happening now, but the big question in everybody's mind today is he garbage?

Pre-show, he was sipping on a Thai tea and eating some rice noodles. So he's coming up classy off the jump. Ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor. Give me a big fucking round of applause for the one, the only, Mr. J. Larson, everybody. Look at him. Got the bookshelf, the old record player, fucking class.

Class for life. First of all, let me ask you this. How can anyone not like YouTube clowns? Talk to my girlfriend. Yeah, I don't know. We're two fucking dirtbags from Philly, you know? I don't know. Where are you coming at us from?

Are you out there in Hollywood and La La Land? Yeah, I'm in LA. I just want to say, Kevin did say in the intro, we get to wet our beak a little bit. You know what I mean? Like, so I don't, I don't know when you retired and moved to South Florida, but I just think it's great. Hey, you got it.

I'm in, I'm in. Sorry, wait, you can go. No, I was just saying. No time to talk. I'm in LA, I'm in LA. Very nice. You got your Thai tea. What is the backstory of J. Larson though?

Where did you grow up? Where are you from? Tell us the whole story. I grew up in Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, Stonem, Mass. Okay. Home of Nancy Kerrigan. Very nice.

I want to throw that in your face. That's better than Tonya Harding. Yeah. Oh my God, right? Kerrigan kind of turned out to be kind of a piece of shit a little bit, didn't she? Listen, let me tell you something, bro, right? First of all, don't invite me on your show

and then start ripping into Stonem, Massachusetts royalty. Yeah, dude, that's legacy. You won, she won two medals for this country. In the midst of it, a co-worker tried to beat her down. All right? A co-worker. Allegedly, allegedly.

She was not involved from the reports I read. Okay, good point, good point. Yes, Stonem, Mass. I'll tell you this right now. It was very interesting when you guys reached out because I've been seeing friends do your podcasts and I love the idea because I'm going to tell you this, it's going to be interesting to see

where we turn out with this today because I think when I was born, I was supposed to become class. Ooh, okay. But then my trajectory, my trajectory. I walk a fine line, dude. I walk a fine line. Well, I have a-

No, I was raised- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, you. You're saying I have a theory on you. I think you're pretty, I think you're like, I think you're classy like in Italians. Like, I think you carry yourself with a lot of respect.

You dress very well. I think you're probably a good tipper. You probably, you know, you're probably like a good party host and stuff like that, I feel. I feel like you take care of the details. Probably make a nice charcuterie plate, I would have to imagine.

Boys, for a minute when things were slow, about eight years ago, I tried to sell cheeseboards that I was making out of reclaimed wood. With wood that I got out of a barn that was built in the 1700s in Michigan, all right? Yeah, I throw a nice spunk in the potty. But you know what I do, I come in,

I went to this dinner party, right? So our friends would- I love it, I love it. Our friends would do dinner parties where they would invite people to, like everyone would do a course, right? Ooh, nice. Ah, it's classy.

And then they would vote at the end, like who had the best course. So our friends, they'd been doing it and they invited me and my wife to go do it, right? And they gave us cheese courses. Like it's your first time, I'm just gonna give you a cheese course. And I was like, okay, yeah.

Fuckin' come at me, you guys already show me disrespect out of the gate. I'm gonna knock this out of the fucking park. I build a cheese board, this giant cheese board, reclaimed wood. It's all reclaimed wood with an inlaid butcher block and then inlaid slate, which I finished. I made two loaves of bread from scratch.

One, I cut down and made crostinis out of it and then put together the charcuterie and then like with chalk on the side, would point arrows to like the meats, the cheese, named them all. We get in there, everyone's like, who the fuck are these people? And then where the trash side comes out of me

is every course that someone else came with, I would go, like this one guy did a piece of bread with a cracked egg on it that was poached and it was lovely, right? And I go, man, this is unbelievable, you gotta give me the bread recipe. And I knew he didn't make that bread from scratch. Fuckin' look it up in them.

And he would go because he doesn't see the sorry, he doesn't know what's coming out of me. Oh no, I didn't make the bread and I would go, oh. Ah. Ah, oh, sorry, oh. And what was the name of the self-sustaining organic farm that you got the egg from? Oh, you got it at the supermarket, you're a piece of shit.

Oh, okay, I didn't see that coming. Anyway, we won that one, then we got invited back. They bumped us to salad course, we crushed that too. You showed up with a Caesar. Dude, I showed up with a chopped salad and you're gonna be like, Jay, what's unique about a chopped salad? I'll tell you something, Cowboy Chow's in Scottsdale

in Old Town, there's this restaurant and they do this chopped salad and like we copped the recipe, we dried sweet corn, we did all this. I mean, dude, I do, I come one way. Yeah, I sense that about you. Your very, the attention to detail is very fucking nice, I feel. Yeah, very nice.

Well, let's get back to growing up. So when you're growing up, did you have brothers and sisters, what's your mom and dad do? What kind of house did you live in, et cetera, et cetera? I got it. So I grew up the youngest of four. I had, it went, my sister, Kristen Courtney, my brother, Adam, then me.

My mom was just taking care of us and teaching piano lessons and then my parents split when I was two. My mother got a job in costuming at Boston Ballet and then went into, my mom's very much into the arts. So was my dad, they were both music majors in college and like, you know, they both only listen to classical music. That's all I've ever heard either of them listen to. But by the time I was 10, my dad was just done,

like out of the picture, gone. So that's where the right turn happened. My dad grew up like, my grandfather, my dad's dad was a physicist, worked on the atom bomb. Like it was at Los Alamos. Yeah, worked on the atom bomb. I had Polaroids in the other room of the first ever built atom bomb

that my dad gave me when I was like 36. So once they split, my mother was still like, we go to museums, we go to the symphony, we go to musicals, we go to plays, we go to ballet. You don't have cable, you don't have call waiting. For fun we sit, I'm serious. Call waiting, I love it. Draw on the hard line.

Oh yeah, she fucking, if someone would call like during dinner, she'd be like, is that Ryan? It's gonna be Ryan. Every time, Ryan. And so then my dad was always an antique dealer. My dad was in antiques. So like, I've always been into antiques. You can see, no, this way, that little guy right there,

Charlie Weaver. Right? Yeah, he got me. There he is right there. And then like the old cameras. I like old stuff ever since like my, you know, I've just always liked old. I reconnected with my dad when I was 36.

I saw him once. So I saw him from 10 to 36. I didn't see him. I saw him at 36. And then he died like five years after that, or four years after that. So then I never saw him again. But like, you know, I've just always been into old stuff.

And I like to, I like to memorialize things. Like that back there is my first set list at the comedy store. And that's everyone that was on the show with me. And then that's the check for getting paid underneath it. That's right. I like to like, yeah, I take, I don't keep a ton of shit, you know,

like you're not going to see posters from shows all over my place, but I'll keep something like that. Yeah, it's meaningful. For sure. I told you before the show, that set up's pretty nice. The bookshelf, the old school record player,

it's fucking very classy, very tight. Well, I will tell you this. When I travel boys, I buy, I buy interior design art magazines. That's what I travel. With architectural digest, veranda. I like, I like, I'm a penthouse guy. Listen, there's no question that you guys are trash.

We got to stay on brand. You know what I mean? Yeah. But my mom loved interior design. Like that was, my mom was so much into the arts. So then she got into interior design when we were older.

And like, I would go to like these things like designer show houses. And then my mom ran one. So like, I helped take all the doors off. And like, I've always been handy. Like I like to, I built my kid's Lego table from scratch. And I just like old stuff.

And I'm a firm believer. Like, if you're going to have a home, you got to make it a home. So like, I moved to LA with $3,200 in 19, in 2000. And the first things I bought was a dining room table, a desk, you know what I mean? Like serving for six.

Yeah, no bad. I got to be able to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a Murphy bed, bro. Had the Murphy. They're nice. I like a nice Murphy bed. Serving for six.

Did that dining room table have a leaf involved? Was there a leaf that went in there? Listen, I love a leaf. I'm not gonna lie to you. The fact that you just said you love a leaf, you totally understand the show. This kid's class. I like it.

What was the money like growing up? Was there upper middle class, middle class, lower class? Where'd you fall? What fucking money, dude? I don't know. Well, you said your dad was an antique dealer. There might have been a little cash. Damn, cool waiting.

Fucking it's no cash. Now, there was no cash. Basically, like once that divorce happened, my dad's living and his dad, my grandfather was loaded. He had a very nice life. After working on the atom bomb, he came home and was like, fuck that noise. And he opened a bakery

because his grandfather had a bakery. And then he opened another one and he ended up doing well. So my dad didn't wanna be a baker, worked in the bakery and just constantly was trying to get out of it. So he kinda ran that into the ground. And my mom was working in a non-profit, dude. If you know anything about non-profit, there's no profit.

You know, no one's, no cash. So we were just kind of like, but we never like needed for anything. My parents before me had bought this great house. We lived in a four bedroom house on an acre of land. Nice. They paid $40,000 for it in 1978. So my nana and my grandfather helped out.

And then my two aunts, my two great aunts, my mom's aunts never married. So they always helped us out. And like, you know, we were latchkey kids. We'd come home and either my nana would be there or my aunt would be there. And I would just go out in the neighborhood and play. I was super into sports, you know, like baseball soccer

I played all through high school. I played baseball in college. And then I did Boy Scouts as a kid. My mom said everyone had to do Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts. Everyone had to play an instrument and everyone had to do sports. Damn. Damn, that's pretty good.

And also too, you say aunts instead of aunts. That's fucking pretty cool. So that's what it is, bro. Yeah, we say aunt, my aunt Patty's coming over. That's what we say. Did you have any aunts or uncles where you used their name but it wasn't their name? No, what the hell's that mean?

Like, I have an aunt Soupy and I have an aunt Quinney and they are not their government names because we're trash. No aunt Putty's at your house? No, we had Auntie Rue, Auntie Gert, Auntie Lil. They were all Auntie Lil lived to 102, Auntie Rue 100, Auntie Gert 98. It sounds like your mom really put a good head

on all your shoulders. Like she really like fucking kept her head down, kept all the demons away and fucking and pushed through. She gave us everything but love. Yeah, it was very... Familiar with those kind of households, yeah. Why, she was a little cold? Yeah.

I mean, dude, you guys obviously don't have kids, right? No. No. That's what I know of. Do you like that subtle thing, by the way? You obviously don't have kids. I picked up on it, Larson. I think you're banged a couple of chicks.

I'm pretty sure the state would relieve them of their feelings. What was the question again? I forget. We were talking about your, oh, your mom, you said she gave you everything but love. Yeah, but love, she was a little cold to you. So I have two kids and the amount of energy I think you need to pour into a human being

to actually give them the love that you can like support them. You can also like challenge them. You can also not baby them. It takes so much to do all of that. And I have two kids and that's so much work for two. When you get to four and there's no one else to help and you're working full time, there's no capacity.

Yeah, like I realized recently, I said to my brother, we were talking, I go, I go, dude, do you realize how low the bar was in our house that mom gets so much credit just for staying? Yeah. He stayed. That's it. He's just making it around.

At the same time, my mom gave us values and really impressed upon us the arts and like culture for sure. And I love that because to this day, I'm like, man, what will my life be without it? Because I really enjoy it, not just because she put it upon us because now I've like found such an appreciation for it.

And now I push it upon my kids and they love it. That's awesome. Yeah, that's pretty classy. I can tell you, you're starting off the gate, fucking bat in a thousand, I fucking like it. Classy individual. Dude, I'm so happy. I really wanted to impress you.

Like it was really important to me. You saw his Hawaiian shirt, you're like, I got to win this guy over. I want him on my team. Woo! Yeah. If you need tickets to the opera next time you're in New York, let me know.

I'll scalp a couple for you. All right. All right, this is a question that's recurring on the podcast the past couple of weeks. It's very divisive. Just play a little RU garbage here. Do you brush your teeth in the shower? Oh yeah, every single day.

Ooh, see, now do you want to know why? Why? You want to know why, bitches? Time management. I got two minutes to brush my teeth. There you go. I got an electric, you know, I've mind's powered. It goes four increments of 30 seconds.

That's two minutes. When I get in the shower, I'm into water conservation, okay? I like to conserve water. So I get in, I'm lathering while I'm brushing. Okay, as long as if some, cause some people do what they just stand there and they just brush their teeth. And if that's not time management,

you can be standing in the fucking living room. You know what I mean? But if you're lathering while you're brushing, I'll let it slide a little bit. Do you keep the toothbrush in the shower or do you have it outside of the shower? After I brush my teeth, it goes next to like over where the shampoo is.

And then when we're at bedtime, when I go to brush again, I go, how am I being judged by you two fucks? Cause you're brushing your teeth in the shower and you keep the toothbrush in there. There's all kinds of particles flying around. I'm gonna give you something else. I'm gonna give you an element of the shower dynamic

that you might think is garbage. And I'm gonna tell you it's class. When I own my own home, cause I don't own my own home, the first thing I am putting in is an outdoor shower. And I will take a shower out there every day. Yeah. Outdoor showers. Yeah. I'm gonna nice little fence around it.

I'm gonna grow some ivy around it, sit out there in the afternoon, see the neighbor, Charlie. Charlie, I'm brushing my teeth in here. You're not gonna believe it. I got two minutes so the kids come knocking on the door. It gets so crazy. People floss in there too.

People will floss in the shower, which I find is crazy to me. But you know, to each their own. That might be a little much. Yeah, for sure. All right, let's go back to your childhood a little bit. What was the name of the street that you grew up on? I can't give that up.

Okay. Fair enough. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Oak Street. Scared me for a second. Oak Street. Ooh. Oak Street, very classy.

That's like a classic American, that's like a, you know, one, two, three main street, any town, USA. Yeah. Cause we do a lot of judgment on that. You know, if you grew up on a road or something like that, or a fucking throughway. Turnpike or something. Yeah, we had Josh Potter on here

and he grew up on like fucking, like Steven's drive-thru or some shit like that. Yeah, it was like a through way. He could see, he said he could see it. He said he could see a toll booth from his house. I was like, that's never a good sign. Just based on footage that I've seen, I don't think Josh Potter can see 10 feet in front of me.

True, very true, very true. I don't know. At the end of the driveway, boom, oak, oak tree, right there. Wow, that's pretty classic. That's a good American upbringing right there. And what was the name of the grocery store that your mother went to when you were growing up?

Starmarket, kid. Starmarket. Starmark? Yes, fucking Starmackets. Starmacket supermarkets. I mean, I don't even know if they're still around. I think they are. We just had somebody else a couple of weeks ago

that was from New England and they said, they said their family still goes to Starmackets, I think. Yeah, let me just tell you this too. We were a very loyal family. I don't know, my mom probably instilled this in me as well, but when a stop and shop went in our town, we were like, fuck, no way, for sure, until we died. Yeah, dude, yeah.

And I remember, distinctly, I'm all about mom and pop shops, I only, not only, but that is my focus. I'd say 90% of the time I'm at a mom and pop. And this Walgreens went into our town and it literally took out across the street, the family pharmacy that had been there. It took it out in like a month and a half.

And I remember, I like, I've been to that Walgreens one time and I was like, never again, never again, bro. Yeah, no. I've never been to a Walmart. Why, even on the road or anything, you never hit a Walmart? Never been to, never been to a Walmart.

Shit, I ate at a Walmart two nights ago. I don't think they made their own bread either. I had dinner there, I'll tell you that. I took a date there, bro. Didn't close, unfortunately. I don't know why, I don't know. Nah, I like, dude, you're coming up classy, man. Coming up pretty, pretty, pretty classy.

I like it. Have you ever been a part of a focus group? Yes. What was the situation? You ready for it? Yeah. You ready for this, dude? I was getting ready to move to LA.

I was trying to save money to move to LA. I had no money. Actually, I was flunked out of college, What college, if you don't mind me asking, what college? St. Anselm College in New Hampshire. Okay. It's a liberal arts school. I got back in, graduated.

Anyway, I flunked out. No big deal. My sister is very smart, did very well in school. She worked at a hospital in Boston, and she was like, hey, they're doing this, this clinical trial for mouthwash for cancer patients. You know, you get paid $50 for the first time in, 50 for the second, and then the sleepover,

you get 500. Done. This is where the true garbage comes in. Oh yeah. On the sleepover, I called, this is how old school it was. I call my home phone to check the voicemail. See if anyone called me.

And the only message on there is from the funeral home telling us, hey, we got your grandmother to my mom. We have your mom. She's in good care, blah, blah, blah. My grandmother died that night that I was at this thing. Jesus. So I get the news. My sister comes into her office the next day.

I'm sleeping in that wing. And I was like, hey, and I had to tell her. And then after we get done, she was like, oh, I have more bad news. And I go, what? And she's like, your blood work came back for the trial. And there was marijuana in your blood. I didn't get the five hundred.

Not even two 50 for spending the night. What the fuck dude? They'd even cut me off a honeybee. A honeybee. Oh, that's fucking, that's like wetting your beak. Oh man. Unqualified for a fucking. Dude, that's fucking, I did,

I did one not too long ago. Like a few years ago, I did one in New York. I was hard up for cash. And I went and it was like something for some streaming service bullshit. And I sat in like the mirrored room and shit. And you feel like a fuck, you feel like you have power. Like I'm like, yeah, I would never buy this service.

You know, meanwhile I'm using like my aunt's fucking Netflix. Like I'm not paying for any service to begin with. But on the way, dude, on the way out, they hit me with a hundred and fifty dollar, which I thought it was 150 cash. They hit me with a hundred and fifty dollar gift card. I'm like, I can't, my fucking, I can't pay rent with a visa gift card.

What are we doing? See, I would have looked at that. This is how garbage I am. I would have been like, I can pawn this for a honey. I know, but I needed the 150. I was, I was hemmed up in a bad spot. Totally, totally. But the worst part is guys,

I'm testing positive for weed at my sister's trot. It's like her, she has to go to her coworker and be like, yeah, my brother's out. You know, he hits the chip of Chiba. You know what I mean? Patient 32B is disqualified. The kid's got got got glaucoma. Oh, that's good.

Oh, that is too funny. All right, and with college, what did you get on your SATs? That's a big one on the show. Yeah, what'd you get? I got 1060. Respectable. That's good. Meaty part of the curve. Nice.

One and done. You know, you gotta get over that thousand hump, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's it, dude. If you could get in the four digits, it was fucking get that and take a hike, see ya. What were the circumstances that flunked out of college?

Was it just strictly bad grades? Yeah, what do you not know about flunking out of college? He should know. We don't like his attitude. You get either flunked out or you get kicked out. I got flunked out. Kicked out is like, oh, you beat someone up, you know? All right, so it wasn't something like that.

What was your GPA that semester? Well, so first semester freshman year, I got four C's and a B. Not bad. That's good. Second semester, yeah. Second semester, I got a 1.0, which is like, I failed two classes and I got a D. And then they let me come back and I got another 1.0

and they were like, all right, peace. Yeah. A similar situation happened to me. My first semester, I was an English major, but I was playing football at this division three school and they like ran the school. What school? Widener University in southeastern Pennsylvania.

And I was an English major. I got a 0.2 my freshman year, first semester. So then they made me change. They made me, the football coaches sat me down. There was like seven of us lined up in front of the coach's office at the end of the semester where they made us all go in and fucking call all our teachers and begged them to give us a D.

Nobody would do it for me. So I was going to get flunked out. So I had to change the fucking hotel and restaurant management for the next semester. And let me tell you something, it ain't the cream of the crop in that fucking school. I'll tell you that. Let me tell you something.

Ray Kroc. When you named off your school, I knew it wasn't the cream of any crop. Yeah. And then it gives you, he doesn't even say it's in Pennsylvania, Philadelphia. He hit you with southeastern Pennsylvania. Like who, Magellan, relax over here, all right?

No one wants to go to your school. One of the kids on my baseball team in college, my buddy Bill, it was senior year, second semester. He wasn't going to graduate. And like they grade on a curve at my school. So like the 60% of the class gets a C and then, you know, 20% AB, 20% DF. So he was going to flunk and not graduate.

So he goes to this teacher and he's like, yo, he's flunking. He's like, you got to give me a B or I'm not going to graduate. And the teacher was like, are you out of your fucking mouth? And he's like, you got to. Like, there's nothing I can do. The guy was like, I'll give you the B,

get out of my face and never want to see you again. But that B was contingent upon another teacher that he had to go to, that he had to get to give him a C. And that teacher was like, fuck you, you're getting a D. That's it. So he went back to the other teacher and got an A. And the teacher was like,

I never want to see you ever again. Hey, see you through a union, huh? Still hang out for homecoming, am I right? But maybe we'll do a drink or something. I want my weekend. Okay. That's classic dude. That is fucking awesome.

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and use the code Garbage for 20% off. Now back to the show. Growing up, did your mom ever cut your hair? My sister cut my hair once, my mother never did. Okay, all right. I'll give you, this will give you an idea of where my mom wanted us to go and where we were going. In eighth grade, I was in good shape.

You know, I'm not in great shape now, but I was in really good shape then. And my mom got me an interview to model for Benetton. Do you remember Benetton? Yeah, the United Colors of. You know what I'm saying, son? Fuck it. That was gonna be my trip to just fucking hot chicks.

So I was gonna go in to Ton on like Tuesday, right? And on Saturday night, we had like a sleepover. Everyone on the soccer team, I was on the soccer team. We all decided, let's like do crazy haircuts. So I shaved the sides of my head, put lines down the side and then lines coming out. And on Saturday morning, my, or Sunday morning, my mother was going out.

I don't know where she was going. And I was on the phone with my girlfriend. So she walked by me, comes back an hour later, I'm still on the phone and actually comes in, sees the back of my head and she loses it. You were supposed to go in for Benetton. So that's how trash I was. I was just like nah, man, fucking eighth grade soccer, baby.

She, yeah. I brain supreme over fucking Benetons, dude. You know what I mean? Benetton was pretty classy. I was a fragrance model for over one Christmas break for CKB, remember CKB? I remember CK1. Yeah, it was the shitty version of CK1.

They came out CK 1.5. What do you mean? What do you mean you were frigging smart? People could just come up and smell you. Is that what it is? No, I would stand there and hand out the little cards with the spray of the clothes on. That's not a model, dude.

That is far from a model. That's what it said on my tax return. I was a model for a little while. You were not a model is right. Not even close. That's some shit my mom would do. My neighbor, Tom, we always help us out because there was no man there.

So when we got old, he moved in when I was older and he'd help my mom with tons of stuff. And he used to, I remember being away in LA and going home to visit and I was like, what's going on, buddy? And he's like nothing, we're hanging on his porch having beers and I'm like, how's my mom? He's like, dude, your mom's like,

she's got champagne taste on a beer budget, you know what I mean? I'm like, yeah, that is my mom. So she would be like, now did you know that my son is a fragrance model? That would be my mom. Really trying to church it up. It's like, nah, dude, you're handing out,

you're handing out fucking pamphlets at the Macy's relax. You might as well be spinning the side. Yeah, exactly, shit. She says you're a chef. You're handing out walk and roll samples at the mall. Exactly. He made the chicken teriyaki. It's delicious.

You should try it. It's unbelievable. That's a recurring question on the show as well. If you were at, say it's lunchtime, you're hungry and you're at a mall food court, what are you getting? I mean, let me tell you something. When it comes to food, I use it as a healing thing. I use it as a celebration.

I'm not like good at food. So like, honestly, it could go a number of ways. I could see myself, I'll give you a couple of options. I could see myself hitting Mickey D's for a number one in a cheeseburger kicker and then swing my D&D for a couple, maybe I hit D&D for like a Boston cream and a cruller, you know what I mean? Coffee for the rope.

If they got a sparo, I might grab a slice of cheese, slice of brownie, large coke. Dude, the slices from Sabaro are huge. That's the classiest one. I might knock down Panda King for a little orange chicken and then some noodles. I mean, whatever it is I would do there is like a food court to me, and I'm not in them often,

is like a dirty little secret. You have no idea what I'm going to do over here. It's an ornament court. Yeah. Yeah, I'll bring a cheeseboard to your dinner party, but you put me in a food court and fucking garbage and me just like, oh, yeah. It's like we're all equal in there.

I like how you said the cheeseburger kicker because I take a lot of shit because I always get the meal, but then I refer to it as a walking around burger. I get something to fucking take with me on the road. They don't go in the bag, he's wearing it out, you know what I mean? That, bro, when I used to go to Dunkin' Donuts, I would go in and I'd be like, let me get a ham and cheese

croissant, I get an iced coffee, and I go, and let me grab a chocolate honey dip. And they go, okay, and I go, yeah, you don't need to put it, I'm going to eat it while I wait is what I'm eating that thing. I like the, you changed the wordage to let me grab a, like it's hot, I'll take that, let me get that now, and then we can finish the rest of the fucking process.

Yeah, that's like wearing the sneakers out of Foot Locker, fucking put the old ones in the box. I'm wearing these puppies out through the fucking front door. 100%, 100%. So obviously from being to England, you're a D&D guy, you're a Dunkin' Donuts guy, you're not a Starbucks guy. Well, now I'm not in any of those things, guy. I like to just go to like all local spots.

Yeah, calling house. Like I said, I like mom and pop. Like when I go on the road, one of my favorite things to do is find like the dope coffee shop and go kick it and get coffee, like it just becomes part of my routine. Yeah, I love that. Going to, I just post up and writing stuff. Yeah, D&D I would take over, but I would never,

D&D I never, excuse me, you weren't thinking about how good the coffee was at D&D, you know what I mean? Nor do I think Starbucks has good coffee. They're both, D&D I just go because like that's my, you know, those are the best donuts in the world. I go for donuts, you know? Yeah. I'll tell you what, Dunkin' Donuts, man,

they make a pretty mean fucking bacon, egg, and cheese on a croissant too. And I don't know what they put in those fucking, in those hash browns, but those are fucking Michelin rated, those are fantastic. Dude, I've had them like a couple of times because when you get in hash, hash browns at Dunkin' Donuts and I said the same thing, I was like,

I was at an airport, I was embarrassed to even be like, fucking, what is, what is, on point. Dude, I don't know what the seasoning is, but those things are fucking little gold, little pieces of gold. Yeah, they're nice. Yeah, for sure. All right, I got one at any point,

were you ever a Velveeta shells and cheese household now or then? You eat me like just straight mac and cheese? Yeah, like proper Velveeta shells and cheese or were you a Kraft family? Yeah, Velveeta is the classiest because it's got the real cheese. Real is debatable. First of all.

No, it's not. Any cheese you can buy off the shelf, bro. It's not classy. It's in a space-age sealed package. What are you talking about? That's real cheese. All right, let me give you two things on this. One, we were a definite mac and cheese family

because like I said, we didn't have a lot of money. Not only did we not have a lot of money, my grandmother, she was old when she had, she was 40 when she had my mom. So my Nana and her two sisters and her sister-in-law who all raised us, they were all, they all survived the depression. You know what I mean?

So, dude, you know what my Nana used to kick out on Wednesday nights? Mac and cheese mixed with tuna. You ever do that? Tuna, casserole, and then it's baked. Then she bakes that shit. And that's, I'm not talking tuna with mayo mixed with cooked mac and cheese.

So we were a craft family. I never had Velveeta, but then my wife, during Thanksgiving every year and Christmas, made casserole with Velveeta. It's all melted in, right? So then my tradition started being when I would be cooking for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, like during the day,

I would take that Velveeta and my lunch would be a grilled cheese with that Velveeta. Oh. Nothing bad at all. Wow, I never did that. Damn, that's something else. Yeah, nothing better than that. Did you guys, did you do hot dogs when you were a kid?

Were you a big hot dog family? Of course, bro. Now would you have the hot dogs? Go ahead, go ahead, I'm gonna one up you because I know what you're gonna ask and I already know where I'm going, go. All right, so one of the things that we have is there's levels of garbage for the hot dogs.

The shittiest would be boiling them. Second would be doing them in the skillet, all right? Third would be doing them in the skillet, but sliced open. And third would be the classiest on the grill. How would you guys prepare your hot dogs? Bro, I'm about to make AYG history right now. And I'm gonna take it to the most,

you wanna know what we would do? Go in the fridge, take it out and eat it straight up. So what the fuck, another one? You're a cold hot dog guy? They're pre-cooked, bro. No, they gotta be heated up, dude, come on. But listen to me, we never had the grill, dude. Single mom, there's no grill.

I didn't have a grill till college and friends had grills and I was like, oh, like I never had a grill. And I remember like when I finally had a grill in LA, like my roommate got one, I was like, oh, grilling, you know? So I boil my kids' hot dogs for them. If I saute them, they hate them. They hate them when it's sauteed. Yeah, it has a weird taste to a kid.

I used to like them boiled, too. Dude, we were, we used to... Oh, sorry, no, go, go, go. I was just saying, we would boil them in the, we would go to the Jersey Shore for the weekend or whatever and we would boil them like in a small motel room and then put them in a cooler of hot water and take them to the beach and then like fucking

fish them out like we were hot dog vendors and like put them like, it was looking back. It was fucking terrible, dude. Crout, you want crout? Give me two with crout and a you-hoo. I'm gonna say this about hot dogs. I can eat a hot dog, grilled, cut open. I don't get fucked.

This is another thing my Nana would do. My Nana would cook the hot dogs, cook mac and cheese and then put the hot dogs in and then back in, like another one, that was another one she would do. That's something else though. That's a good one. I love fucking... What do you put on your hot dog?

I go plain Jane, straight up plain. I'll dabble, catch up mustard. If I'm getting it from a guy, you know, from a, you know, a vendor, I'm doing crout. There's definitely gonna be crout and if it's a place that does it good, I'll get, I'll do a chili dog. All right, let me ask you though,

what's your mustard choice, bro? This is big for me. On a hot dog, here's the thing. All right. You seem like a nice... Don't talk with me, dude. You seem like a nice guy, you're a good kid. Between you and I and Kippy, I go regularly yellow mustard. Yeah, me too.

I'm straight up yellow mustard. Anytime I go to a vendor in New York, I lived there for a year and a half and I'd be like, I get dogs all, it's just like the easiest thing. And I go, do you have yellow mustard? And they go, yeah. And I take the thing and it'd be brown mustard. I'm like, dude, just cause this is yellow,

this is not yellow, bro. I need ketchup, yellow mustard, maybe relish. I don't know, I'll do crout maybe time to time. If you got the extra nickel, yeah, I fucking live it up a little bit. Yeah, you gotta do, you gotta do... I'm a big mustard guy. Like I like all different kinds of mustard.

All right, I consider myself a foodie, but I wouldn't put fucking grape on. He is not a foodie. I don't know what... I wouldn't put grape on in a hot dog. It just doesn't work. Yeah, I mean, I might fuck with it a little bit. I'll do that on sausage and stuff.

I do wanna show the fact, Kevin, that you go playing Jane leads me to believe that if ever authorities came to me and they're like, hey, this guy murdered three people, we think, do you know anything about him? I'm like, that guy eats plain hot dogs. That guy eats plain hot dogs. That's your guy, dude.

Well, don't get me wrong. If I go to Popeye's dog at the Recession Special with the two dogs and the drink for five bucks, I'll do maybe, I'll do some ketchup or some chili and cheese, whatever, but... Yeah, we're not animals. I like a nice, just clean, no frills dog. You know what I mean?

Or you know what... No, there's nothing clean. There's nothing clean. That's why you put all the shit on it. It is not clean. You know what, I grew up and I'll still do. I don't buy them because I'm married now and it would never fucking fly in the household,

but I would get the Oscar Mayer hot dogs with the cheese already in them, the cheese dogs, throw two of them in the microwave for a minute, good fucking night, Jay Larson. Yeah, cheese dogs, not bad. Not bad or an Oscar Mayer cheese dog. That is fucking trash. Tube Martin's Potato Rolls called a fucking day.

Well... Oh, Potato Rolls for sure. Yeah, Potato Rolls are fucking classy all the way. Let's stay on food here for a minute. I still can't get a read. I'm saying he's class. Yes, I mean, honestly, you know... The bacon, I mean, I think baking your own bread

and taking it to a fucking dinner party is like, that's... You know. There's signs of it. There's signs of garbage. Let's find out about now. Like, how are you with the kids as far as their snacks now? Do you find yourself resorting back

to the things that you grew up on that you're giving the kids now? Or have you kind of shied away from that heritage? I mean, put it this way, we went... I took them camping, just me and them this weekend. And Friday night, I made pasta, right? With tomato sauce and cut cucumbers. And then for breakfast the next day,

I made scrambled eggs and they gave them each a pumpkin muffin. For lunch, she had ham roll-ups, just ham rolled up. He had a peanut butter and jelly. They both had carrots and chips. And then that night for dinner, I made sauteed onions, zucchini and squash with rice for me and her with steak.

And I made him steak and I made hand-cut french fries from a potato. Ah, come on, this guy's fucking class. Boo-gee. Hand-cut, thank you. S'mores both nights. You know, we did S'mores both nights. I liked to cook, though.

And I looked at it and I'm like, if you're car camping, you know Michael Costa? Of course. Costa's got one of the greatest jokes. He talks about how you pack differently when you're flying versus driving. And he's like, when you're flying, you'll be like, should I bring this belt?

I don't have room for this belt. And he goes, but when you're like, and I'm taking liberty with this joke. And then he's like, but when you're driving, you're like, hey, babe, should we bring a blender? And just like whip up smoothies in the hotel room? You know? So when you're like camping,

you can pull your car up to the site and I have a giant cooler. So I was like, oh, I can make all this stuff. Yeah, who makes spaghetti when you're camping, though? What the fuck is that all about? Money. My kids don't like hamburgers yet. Like I could have busted out hot dogs,

but I'm like, what's the point? You know, like my daughter loves pasta. And I really wanted to make it like, I wanted the first time they camped, everything to just kick, you know what I mean? So that, so that they liked it. So that they were like, oh, so fun. And then the next time, you know,

I don't have to go crazy, you know? Right. But I give them cookies. Do you pre-cook the pasta or are you cooking hard pasta there over the fire? I got a fucking stove. I got a little propane stove, bro. You think he's fucking pre-making pasta?

I didn't know. Who the fuck is spaghetti when you're camping? This guy's fucking clean. So you brought forks and stuff like that? That's pretty classy. Yeah, I don't like to use a lot of plastic, bro. I kind of like to take care of the environment. You know, the fact that you guys are drinking water

out of plastic cups right now is a little bit of an insult. I carry this around with me for all the listeners. I take this everywhere I go. It's glass, too. Blew it ourselves. It's, dude, that's fucking, you know what that is? Glassy, bro. Yeah.

So, but like at the same time, like, you know, we had s'mores every night. I brought Oreo cookies. I brought chips and guac, you know what I mean? So like, I just, my kids love, they love carrots, cucumbers. They eat broccoli, green beans. I want them to love veggies because guess what?

That's good. I mean, listen, do I want my kids to look like the three of us when they're rich? No. No. No. No. Your attention to detail is second to none.

Yeah, it's pretty nice, man. I must say. It's second to none. That's a real classy move right there. Damn. All right. You know, like I, and stand up, I was like always came from the world of like specificity.

Like the more specific I could be. Like I used to tell like young comics. I'm like, listen, if you told a story on stage, how you went to a movie with your friend versus you went to a movie with your friend, Dave DeGeorge, what's going to get a little, you're letting people in. So like, I always am a very detail oriented and very specific because it's just like

the little extra steps, like I remember one day my buddy goes, dude, with kids who has time to like cook pancakes on a weekday. And I'm like, I got a fucking waffle maker, bro. I make waffle with this crash. I'm going to throw in the fuck down over here. So you're definitely not trash now. Yeah.

No. I mean, trust me, dude, I made a real strong choice to go pick up this Vietnamese food versus going to BK, getting the number eight. That's the original chicken sandy with fries. I go large, give me two sides of ranch and I do a cheeseburger kicker. They got the new jalapeno poppers.

They're just not doing it like Jack in the box, dude. I've had those jalapeno poppers over there. They ain't bad. But we don't have Jack in the box out here. Yeah, I think you'll survive fully. Have you ever ordered stuffed crust pizza? Never have. Do you get Omaha Steaks delivered to your house?

Only when they were a sponsor of my podcast. OK, fair enough. Have you ever kept the coolers? Kept the what? Kept the coolers that the Omaha Steaks came in. Have you ever used the Omaha Steaks coolers for any other purpose than the steaks being delivered? No, bro.

OK. But I did buy a vintage cooler at a yard sale once. That's pretty classy. That's fucking cool, dude. Was it a Coleman? Nah, it was like this awesome brown. It looked like military style and it had the cooler top that flipped this way and that way, dude.

Oh, that's pretty sweet. You got some cool shit, man. Yeah, fucking cooler with the suicide doors. That's pretty classy right there. It's got the Rolls Royce of fucking coolers. Got the wing doors like a fucking DeLorean. Waking Todd at Darnell, dude. Yeah.

I like it. Yeah, it was tight. Have you ever ordered a screwdriver at the bar? Have I ever got a screwdriver? That's not a bad drink. I've probably had one before, yeah. But that wouldn't be my go-to. I mean, when I was drinking, drinking, I started like,

I used to go Kettle One Citron Rocks, then I would go SoCo Rocks, then I went to Makers Rocks, and then I got so into whiskeys. I was like, you know, I used to host a drinking show with Sean Pat, and we'd travel down the country. Oh, that's right. Yeah, the best bars or so, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I've drank everything. So I would get a vodka crème. That's like the most underrated drink, little lime. That's not bad. It's such a Massachusetts Cape Cod thing, getting the Cape Cod out, bro. Yeah, it's not showing off either. You know what I mean?

It's nice. Listen, yeah. All right, I got one for you here. Have you had a Christmas time? You guys celebrate Christmas? We do, yeah. Oh, you probably fucking kill Christmas. What's the decoration situation now?

On the tree, are they colored lights or are they white lights? All right, so growing up, we were a white light family. It was all white lights. Christmas morning. It was your mom's classy. It was your mom's classy. Yeah, and my mom, not only she also went into like, my mom did pottery and she made a chandelier,

so she made a bunch of ornaments. And then part of her Christmas tradition was every year we go to my aunt Ruth's house and everyone could pick an ornament off her tree, for our tree to keep. And she used to travel because she was never married, so she would get ornaments everywhere she went. So dope ornaments.

So my mom always went white lights. We always went fake tree. No dad, fake tree. Sure, yeah. And then one year, her friend gave us her fake tree, which was super nice. That went in the living room and the other fake tree went in the breezeway.

I don't know if you know what a breezeway is. What the hell's a breezeway? I know I can't afford it. That's the room between the garage and the house, man. That's the breezeway. It's not like insulated. It's like a three season porch kind of vibe. So we had a bonus tree in there.

Now, in our house, we've always done a real tree. Last Christmas, I said, I'm done with real trees. I'm getting a fake tree. You know, I just don't understand it. Do you ever go buy a Christmas tree lot when the year's over and there's like 40 trees and you're like, what the fuck? What was the point of this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to use my tree for 25, 30 years, you know what I mean? I don't know. It just doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't have the same smell, though. It doesn't have the pine smell. I get the spray, dude. I get the spray. This guy's got tree cologne.

What the fuck? That's fucking trash. He's a cologne model. That is trash, dude. Tree cologne, you're garbage. Spraying it with pine salt and shit. Holy shit. Bob, no, and then, but we go, yeah, we go all out.

I go all out. I bake cookies during the season, you know what I mean? I miss snow, so I'm going to try and take the kids up to the mountains this Christmas, like at least around the holiday, you know? Do I have fantasies about owning like 100 acres in Western Mass and then getting a horse with a sleigh? Yeah, I do.

I'm an Anheuser. I'm an Anheuser-Busch commercial. If I get a Robert Frost over here, I like it. Robert, more like it. Go ahead, please. I was going to say, I'm more like Ralph Waldo Emerson than Frost, so I do like it. Very nice.

He is my favorite of the transcendentalists, you know what I mean? If goes Emerson, Thoreau, Whitman, probably. Sure. Big fan of on Walden Pond. Then I got one in this room. What is the last book you read? Well, I've been reading with my kids.

You want it? You ready for this, bro? Deon Sanders, Deon on Deon by Deon Sanders. Dude, are you ready for this? I couldn't have call waiting my best friend growing up, Ryan Young. Shout out to Ry Dog, Cy Young. His parents gave him his own line.

So they had his lines. So he got to pick his number, because in my town, and you know what he picked? His number was 279-2124. And we were like, why 2124? He goes, Deon, Deon, bro. Deon, Deon. 21, 21 football, 24 baseball.

He was 24 on the Braves or whatever. But what was the question again? The last book you read. Yeah, last book. So I've been reading, like, I want my kids to really appreciate reading, because it's just like a lost. It's just getting lost on people now,

like the fact that you read. Everyone's like, well, we listen to books with our kids. We listen to them. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that is not the same thing. I just love reading with them. So there's six. He's six. She's five now.

And we've read the first three Harry Potters, all three of them. Damn. But now it's starting to get a little adult, so we stopped. So during the Black Lives Matter movement, I really looked at myself and was like, yo, you need to really start giving more information and enlightening your kids about this shit.

So we looked up Black Businesses in LA, and we found this bookstore called Malik Books. It's a Black-owned bookstore. And all the books are Black authors or Black content. We went there, and I was like, hey, I need new books outside of Harry Potter. And they gave us this great book called, what's it called? It's Something in the Queen, I can't remember.

But it's this book that I read with the kids. That's the last book. I'm not reading my own books anymore. I'm reading with them. But it's a dope book written. Kobe Bryant actually helped make this series of books. Oh, shit. So I wish I could think of it.

But anyway, yeah, that was the last book. That's pretty fucking classy right there. I was looking for Superman or something. No, I was never into. I was into all back here. I got into the beats a lot, and Trent's and Denilus, and the Invisible Man, and shit like that. I don't know.

That was kind of where I fell in. Fucking sharp, dude. I know. Fucking sharp, dude. We just got a couple more questions for you. We're going to get you out of here. I just want to hit you with a couple of the standards that we do here.

A big one would be, growing up or now, did you have milk with dinner as a kid? Yes. Do you give your kids? They get water a ton. He takes OJ at night. I mean, in the morning, she has milk. But every now and then, I'm like,

I'll kick that milk at dinner, but it's almost always water. Yeah. And you don't do it now, right? Do you still drink milk? Dude, this is the most divisive ever. These grown men, in their 30s and 40s, will make a bowl of pasta and then get like a glass of whole milk.

It's always pasta and red sauce that they like with the milk. It's so weird. It's trashy. It is the trashest thing you can do. Yeah. That's a broken childhood that's not going to be so awesome. Yeah, man. Barghatsi does that great joke where he goes to Starbucks

and he goes to pick up his drink and it's like, oh, a milk over ice? And he's like, am I a serial killer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you keep your butter on the counter or in the fridge? It's fridge. I do like that butter.

I do like that counter move, though. That is tight. Well, yeah, I was against it. I was staunchly against, we were a butter in the fridge household. And then we just found out last week that it's actually because you can leave salted butter out for like toast and bagels and whatever.

But unsalted butter stays in the fridge because it's cooking. So you can leave the fucking, you can start. Start today. Go grab a thing, a stick of butter and leave it out. Start to spread. Leave a little bit. Here's the thing, though, dude. I'm strictly on a spread now.

Non-dairy, non-butter spread. What, country crock? What are you fucking with? Crock is butter, bro, isn't it? No, it's like chemical. I don't know what it's not. Yeah, it's not good. Soy bean or something.

Some commie shit. My kids gets. But the kids get straight up butter. I used to love that move. We had the butter dish and stuff as a kid. But what we would do is we'd go over and just grab hunks and just eat it. That's what I'm talking about.

Seeing a little garbage peek through there, huh? Made my blood run dry. Do I see a little garbage behind you behind that chair peeking out? By the way, this chair is mid-century Dutch that was bought in Amsterdam, flown over. Wow. We're flying chairs over.

I didn't fly it. I got a furniture guy I go to. Dude, you got a fucking chair guy. You're all glass. I got a furniture guy, dude. Holy shit. What else you got, Kip? I think that's it for me.

I mean, he started off a little rocky, but you know. We didn't ask you, do you think you're garbage? No, right? I have identity crisis when it comes to this. Like, I put it this way. I told you guys, I tee to the line, and I don't even want to share this idea because someone will take it.

But I do have dreams of opening like a little bodega, but like a country style where we sell only local wines, and I have a little flora section, but like great sandwiches. But I want to have it that if you order a chicken sandwich, right, or order a breakfast sandwich for me, this is how it will go down. So someone asked me for, hey, what's up, man? What can I get you?

This is Foley's world of the podcast. Hey, man, what can I get you? Hey, buddy, can I grab the Sausage Egg and Cheese on the Chewbata? No, you just asked for a breakfast sandwich, bro, OK? Listen, we're not fucking mixing match in here. I'm going to show you how it goes down in my joint, right? Let me get a bacon egg and cheese.

No, you just say I want a fucking breakfast sandwich. Oh, I want a breakfast sandwich. All right, we didn't get the script. Take it easy. I sent it over in my preliminary free. Hey, Mr. Larson, can I have a breakfast sandwich, please? Two breakfast sandwiches, please. You want those blue collar or bougie?

Blue collar. So the whole menu would be blue collar or bougie. So a blue collar breakfast sandwich would be English muffin, fried egg, bacon, cheese out the door. The bougie is brioche bun, fried egg with the whole yolk, maybe some arugula, toss the arugula vinaigrette with like a nice maybe, I'm not a brief fan, but maybe like a Havadi, maybe like a Havadi on there.

You know what I mean? So every sandwich would be like blue collar or bougie. Sure, that's fantastic. And the blue collar sandwich is like five and the bougie is like 11, you know? Dude, that's fucking something else. That's a pretty good idea. And I think that this is my theory.

I think that you're so staunchly not garbage now because you know garbage. And you go, I'm not going to be that guy. I'm going to have the nice this. I'm going to do this right. Got Dutch chairs. Yeah, you're doing everything right because you know the dark side, I think.

Yeah, I know where it can go. I know where it can end up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm seeing the other side of this shit. We walked home from soccer practice, you know what I'm saying? Holy shit. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. J. Larson, I'm going to say 100% class, my friend.

You're all class and arm. Classy fucking guy, for sure. Especially with the fucking trash bags we had on this show, you look like a fucking Kennedy. What's up to dead bodies? Trust me. Trust me. I got a Kennedy bust up here in the.

He's got 10, is it? No. I do shop for Kennedy busts. There's an antique mart I like to go to and there's this guy's one stall and he's got Kennedy busts. You know, it's a big collector's thing. The fact that you're shopping for busts, most 99% of comedians wouldn't even know what the fuck a bust is

and you're shopping for them. This guy's fucking classy. All class, brother. Before we let you out of here, is there anything you want the folks out there to know? You got anything coming up that you want to promote? Where they can, where we can direct them to? Semi-retired from stand up.

That's probably going to continue for at least a year. And I'm just writing and I'm directing a couple things, stuff like that, but nothing to promote. Enjoy your life and spend time with your loved ones. See, look at that fucking heart felt and everything too. Jay Larson, ladies and gentlemen, 100% class kippy. What do you got to tell them out there? As always, make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes,

full video available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well. Go to gassageallnetwork.com. You can sign up, use promo code AYG. And I'm at Kevin Ryan comedy on all social media. And at h fully on ice and fully grams on Instagram. Jay, we appreciate you coming on the show, man. Thank you so much.

Yeah, thank you, buddy. Fantastic. Super fun, you guys. I really appreciate you having me. And I hope you guys keep crushing it. Thank you, buddy. Folks, we'll see you later. Hey, boys.

Thank you, buddy. Jay, thank you, man. That was awesome.