Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Jeremiah Watkins Returns!

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back from Tuddy's Time Share with old pal Jeremiah Watkins! Its a hot one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys.  Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.expressvpn.com/Garbage https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG https://www.Brooklinen.com Promo Code: GARBAGE https://www.Decked.com/GARBAGE  Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Folks, this just in over the wire. We got a hot new merch drop. Merch drop, baby, from November 8th to the November 18th. You can get your limited edition Tooties Goodies, baby. We're asking everyone to remain calm. We're going to have a real Black Friday situation on our hands. We got Bernie's teas and hoodies.

We got Tooties teas. We got Tooties teas and hoodies. And we got Boncos. We got Boncos teas and hoodies. Guys, the link will be in the description. Go to bonfire.com. Are You Garbage? Limited edition, only available for 10 or 11 days.

Get them while they're available. Get the holiday orders in now. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey! Everybody out there.

And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. It's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they grow up to be classy. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here once again.

Tooties time share. Down here in Houston, Texas, we're having a good time. I saw her this morning stealing an omelet from the buffet at the hotel. Turned her in, wanted to be a good guest. You know what I mean? Maybe you got a couple of points coming my way. They upgraded the room at all?

They did. They kicked her out. But now she's staying with me, so I'm screwed again. It's a win-win. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He's the CEO of Are You Garbage. Really an international businessman, to be honest with you. Not to be trifled with in the boardroom,

but here on vacation, he lets his hair down a little bit. He has a couple of pops. He's enjoying himself spending that credit card real nice, too. You're throwing that thing around like it's nickels. I love it. Kevin James, Ryan. Hey, gang.

Happy to be here. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe, on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. And as you know, those numbers are true to real. They're fucking cooking. And then patreon.com, the greatest goddamn website ever made. Shout out.

www.patreon.com. That's Are You Garbage. Check out the party that's going on over there. Amen. Millions and millions upon millions of hours of bonus content. All available for you. All on the site as a whole, not at such Are You Garbage. There's about 80 there.

And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer, extraordinaire, The Magic Panty. Makes us all look good. Also doing a great job. Having an amazing time down here in Houston. T-Bone McMuffin. It's Toby McMullen. What's up, dude?

What's up, buddy? I'm about to get a face tattoo. I'm fucking radicalized. Skankfest has changed me, dude. T-Bone's recording this episode with no shoes or socks on right now. It's crazy. We got a different vibe down here at Houston Dog.

Turning into a hillbilly. I like it. Ah, yeah. Give me some deer corn and some cat piss. But I'll tell you this. We got a little company in the house. Very good friend of ours to stop by. We could not be more excited to have our incredibly special

guest back with us again today. Official family member. In person for the first time. In person for the first time. Look at that. On vacation with us. That's family right there. That's real family stuff.

He has an amazing podcast called Jeremiah Wonders. He also has an amazing podcast called Scissor Bros. And then he has something else out right now that I can't quite remember. He's the voice of the fucking Joker. He's the fucking Joker. On the new animated series, The Joker, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Mr. Jeremiah Watkins.

What's up, guys? What's up, bro? Buddy, let's run down that list. Nicholson. Leno. Watkins. Caesar Romero. Is it too much if I make a collage?

Post it on Instagram and it'll just be like, eh. Yeah. Who was your, who was your favorite? Picture you in the shower at the end. Not a professional shot at all. It's just a selfie. Well, Caesar Romero, you can see the mustache though. Yeah, it's all good.

It's not weird. Back in the day when the guys had, they loved their mustache too much where they're like, just paying over. I can never regrow this thing. I can't do that. It's too much. It's part of me.

I don't want to, you see people host like SNL and stuff and you're like, you're really not going to shave? Yeah, just do it. For the sketch show? Yeah, they'll be back in a couple of weeks. Yeah, I don't care about the project. I'm going to score some pussy on Rodano later. I hear that after party's hot.

I'm going up against Bert Reynolds. I need a stash. Buddy, how the hell are you, man? Dude, I'm so good. I'm so excited to be here. I follow you guys so closely online on your social medias and everything. And I love, I love tweeting at you guys.

I love tagging you. We have a good time. We were talking about it yesterday. We did, I did a little brief little segment on his pod that he has. And we were talking about how the stuff that he tags us in a lot of times is like insane level of garbage. Yeah, man.

You can, as I'm a big fat pig, we all agree on that. Sure. Your eating skills amaze me. I go for it. You go for it. I found that you and I share similar taste buds. Yes. And what I like about it.

But not waistlines. What I like about it is you have a wide palate. So when you go in. It's wild. There's like, there's like Chinese spare ribs. There's lasagna. There's a fucking chocolate cake. There's a gallon of milk.

There's a Gatorade, a bottle of Pedialyte. It's fucking. It's like you spent like $400 on a meal in a hotel room. That's what it looks like. I'm just a pregnant woman at all times. My palate is like, I'm like, I'm about to have a baby, but it never came out. Kids got hot flashes.

Give them some kimchi. Quick. Go for it. Freak out over here. Yeah. I just found out that not everybody has diary everywhere. Well, here on this pod, we do. I just want to clarify that.

I literally thought that was Tuesday for everybody. I thought that was just called poop. How's the family life? How's the baby and all that stuff? Dude, it's awesome. It's a cool, it's just a cool new chapter. Being a dad, it really is. It's just like life was like this cool thing before,

and now it's like this new fun addition. That's how I look at it. That's fantastic. What a fucking perspective on this kid. I imagine you're going to have a good ride, too, because you're a child at heart. Oh, dude, I'm excited to introduce my son to the action figures that I like,

and the movies, and the comic books, and all that stuff. You've already watched Goonies six times. Yeah. If you watch Hocus Pocus the other night. Start him young, baby. Start him young. Yeah. Now, are you going to, do you think you have to,

are you going to eat like that in front of your kid, you think? I can't. You can't, right? Except when mom's not in town. You can't be like, hey, eat your green beans. Dad's having three Domino's pizzas. Yeah, dude, that's not happening. Why does daddy get to have ice cream for dinner?

Because daddy works. Because daddy pays the bills around here. Have you ever heard of the Joker? Nicholson. Daddy did eight shows in Kansas City last weekend, so we can have a little treat. Yeah, yeah. That's fantastic.

We're just like our parents, like our dads, but we like little kid stuff, too. You know what I mean? Like, you got to eat your vegetables. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, my dad was eating cereal out of a Tupperware thing. I was eating fucking green beans. All right, so we got some questions here.

Yeah, so I don't know if you know when you sign up for the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. And they got some fucking heaters. They're always, they've learned, it's like hive mind. Like, they've learned even how to phrase them, how we asked them. It's like really good.

This one's from Salami Hussain. I don't know if that's his government name or not. Were you or any of your friends, the kid who ever pulled the fire alarm? That was a bad kid. I could see that. I never did that. I think one of my buddies might have,

I had a buddy, he was the kid who pooped in urinals. Whoa, man. You say that like there's one in every school. Talking about taking it up a notch. Jesus Christ. Talking about a pin on your teacher's seat, this guy's taking deuces in the principal's office. What the fuck?

I mean, that was his go to. He thought it was hilarious. How old are we talking? Dude, this is junior and senior here in high school. In high school. He was one of my best friends in high school. He got voted class class. This was in law school.

Dude, I was always petrified. In school, he would do it or just like anywhere you guys went? No, he would just do it at school. I think it was just like a rebellious like. Let's screw you. But the thing that's the worst about that is like, the teachers don't even have to deal with it. It's a freaking custodian.

Yeah, it's not. It's like you're pranking the wrong person. The guy literally, it's just the teacher walking in and being like, hey, I have an incident down in the men's room. And the guy most likely could be a serial killer. Who? Yeah, you don't want any ornals. You never fucked with that guy.

You never fucked with the custodian. No. Oh, no. He was like the candy man. Yeah, I remember we had it was where we had one who would like, it wasn't like junior high. And he would like, he was like this younger guy and like all the girls would like, you know, flirt with and he would flirt

back to last like, he lasted like 48 hours before they're like, get this guy the fuck out. Who did a background check on this? It is a lawsuit. Wait, dude, he was flirting with the girls like immediately. I'm like, you didn't even like, wait to fucking get settled down at all. You're still on probationary period.

I'll talk to you guys later. I got to go clean up a dump in the urinals. Jeremiah's boy pooped in a urinal again. I find it so prick. I'm going to break his fucking neck. He's doing bits like I had to put kitty litter down because I like his bitches or what. Come on.

This is a family program. Toby, we're on vacation. God damn it. Put some shoes on if you're going to make jokes like that. Shoes off Toby's does play his own rules. Even his feet go wrong. Toby mad, dog. This guy's.

Toby smash. I was always scared of the ink that they told you that was in there in the fire alarm. I don't know if that's my generation or your generation. It's the same thing like with bank bags and stuff like that. Like that's real though. Right. He said when you pulled it down that ink would shoot out on you

and you would have it on your shirt. So that you would be able to tell. They'd be able to tell. Is that folklore? Is that a real thing? It's folklore. But there was there was the reason they got away with it. There was a little tiny fucking hole.

Yep. No way. Banked that don't. Yeah. The bank bank dies. That's a real thing. OK. Well, the next I'm not robbing any banks in.

Blow a pack in your face on the way out of a TD bank. But the pool was one. That was a myth too. Right. The red the red dye in the pool that followed you. Or whatever. Yeah. We talked about that.

That's that can't be real. There's no way. I would have seen it for sure. Somewhere. Somebody's pool. I've peed in every we've talked about this. I've peed in most pools. If not every pool I've ever been in.

Absolutely. Every right. Do you pee in the pool? No. I'll go in the ocean. Oh, ocean for sure. Yeah, yeah. I'll dump it in ocean.

That's like a urinal. Your boys dumping in the urinals. Yeah, you don't pee in the pool. Let's go. Man, that's why he got class cloud over there. Some guys are about that life. You know what I mean? You're like, that's why I do this trajectory.

I'm a vengeance. That's fantastic. All right. This one's from Zach. Ever run out of gas while driving? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

What do you do? You're in LA, so you probably have a car, right? So this happened a couple of times. One time I was pushing it to the limit and I ran out of gas pulling into or driving, pulling out of my driveway to go get gas. Do you have a digital thing to tell? Was this?

No, it was a 98 Acura CL sports edition. It's actually not a bad piece of equipment. I am the joker at the end of the day, don't you forget. I'm not not driving around in a sports edition. Paint it lime green. Pipe bombs inside. I agree. I had it on E, but it was one of those things where,

you know, on older cars, it's not dialed in for me. It's not precise, so it's a roll of dice. So it's a roll of dice. I started to pull out of the driveway to go get gas. It was right around the corner, and I asked my roommate at the time to push my car back in the driveway.

I had to walk around the block, get gas, and then come back in. And then tough luck. One time we were driving from LA to Austin to do gigs for South by Southwest. And one of the guys who was in charge of driving the van, everybody else was asleep in the back, and then the van starts juggling. It starts puttering.

It starts puttering, and then I just hear, uh-oh. The van driver? Yeah, we were stranded on the side of the highway in the middle of Texas. And we had a guy come by. That's how you get killed. Oh, I know. A guy came by with his wife in a tanker truck that

had a bunch of gas in the back of it, and he goes, what? He goes, you boys out of gas? Oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I was like, he's threatening you? And I was like, uh, yeah? All right, you kiss you. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

have that tall one take his shirt off. Start undressing. You want half a gallon? Let me see the tip of your dick. My wife likes to watch. Dude, he was like, I'll charge you guys $60 a gallon for gas. What? We're like, what?

He goes, he goes, if you get three gallons, it'll get you that next town. That's how far you are from the next town. And we were like, well, just wait on AAA. And that guy, apparently, well, that's what he does for a living. He goes up and down the highway, charges people up the butt for just like paying gas because they need it in that moment.

Damn. Wow. What a fucking dirtbag. He goes, all right. And then he's like, kind of probably like, off to the next son of a bitch. I'm going to take advantage of. Holy shit.

That lady really landed herself a fucking winner. I looked at her. I looked at her like, ma'am, are you going to do anything about this? And she's like, so you're going to buy it. I was going to show her. Now it's 70 smart. Holy shit.

Yeah, that's fucking dirtbag shit. That's like from Breakdown, that Kurt Russell movie back in the day. For all you know, that guy could have fucking emptied your tank at the last gas station where you guys were sleeping. I've always wanted to do that. I've seen it in movies, but I've seen my stepdad do it. Talk about a garbage question.

Yeah, it gets in there. He's a can't imagine what gas tastes like. He's a real redneck. So it's like, it's just that's, I mean, he'll do it with like coolant or if like a hose goes. Yeah, at one point he was like siphoning stuff. My engine wasn't working and he came and picked me up. And at one point he had, he had a tube in his mouth

and he's like, all right, turn it. I'm like, what? He was part of the car at one point. He's doing it at the parking lot at school. Yeah, I'm like, now I'm definitely. Now I'm not going to prom, you idiot. If I ever get bit by a snake, I'm hanging out with him. Somebody call Kippy Stepdad.

That was always crazy. Suck the poison out. No way that works. No way. I think if worse comes. I mean, I guess, I don't know, you spit real quick. You get it out. That and peeing on someone with the jellyfish thing.

Those were like those lures of like, if you get, you know, stung by a jellyfish or peeing on. Would you be able to do it? Peeing on a friend? They'd have to close their eyes. I don't like showing my unit. You know what I mean? Yeah, on a public, those beat, those beat scenes,

they get, they get a crowd real quick. Yeah. Ow, ow. I'd be like, sorry, man, I don't have to go. I'm sorry. I just went in the water with Jeremiah. Oh man. Yeah.

No, thank you. I'm gonna pull my little, my little minnow out on the beach. Especially that cold water. Not happening. Not a good mix. No. Well, crabby jump up and get me. That was just one weird guy who got hit with a jellyfish.

Like, what do we do? It was like, ah, pee on. Yeah. Yeah. That'll solve it, right? Yeah. Yeah. You figure my ass why I pee on you.

Oh no, that feels much better. Oh, they should, we're gonna put this in a book. This is great. Yeah, yeah. This is great. A scientist there, he's like, I guess this works. He's like, we're in Kansas where there are no jellyfish. I think I got something about jellyfish.

One of those lake jellyfish has got me. He's out, he's at work. I think I got stung. Someone get me. Got these shower jellyfish all over me. They're killing me. Shower jellyfish. They're real.

I got one of those hotel jellyfish. It's a rare breed, but they're very poisonous. They're in the mattresses. You gotta piss in my mouth the poison spread to the inside. Man, we're having a good time. We're having a good time here on vacation. Don't be a bozo.

Subscribe on Patreon to RU Garbage Today. Become a homie. Yeah. My new moose knuckles probably sticking out. The lounge look isn't the best for me. It's not, yeah. I'm not a daytime kind of guy. You got the limp biscuit look cooking.

Yeah. This is the very, the nookie outfit. You just need the backwards. Backwards red hat. I don't know if it was. Cackies and black shirts. Cackies, black shirts. That's where I should start rocking.

Yeah. Red backwards hat. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. Go full thirst. Yeah, yeah. Coming back.

It's coming back hard. Limp biz quick over here. Man, that is a good piece of business. That's why he's a joker, ladies and gentlemen. Holy shit. I did it all for the waffles. The waffles. Oh man, that didn't pay off.

Nothing. The joke is clearly cooking. The joke is clearly cooking. He says cookie in the thing. Nookie says nookie. The radio edit was cookie. I did it for the cookie, the what? I had the unedited version.

I don't know about you, you fucking loser. Damn. I was a lot of listening to the cusses. Just bombed in front of the joker. Well, I'll be ripped to shreds for sure. All right, this one's from Chad. Shout out to Chad. Haven't had a question yet.

You ever buy meat from the dollar store? Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. Is it a dollar, or is it just like $3? I don't know what kind of meat you could get. That's what day you get in there. OK, so this is the kind of meat that I still,

I've upgraded a little bit over the years, but. I'm sorry, defined dollar store, though, like. Dollar store is truly a dollar. You're talking in Los Angeles. In Los Angeles, even in Los Angeles. Is it dollar general? It's a dollar. There's dollar tree.

There's dollar trees. There's dollar generals. And then there's dollar tree. No. And then there's other off-brand. I forget the names of some of the off-brand other dollar stores that have shot that. I think dollar tree is pretty good.

Did I shot that? I'm trying to be honest with you. Yeah, dollar tree. I don't think that's a dollar tree. I think that one's more just like. Deli? Wait, they don't have a deli, Jeremiah. A deli?

I call it a deli. It's how come, dude. Excuse me, are these rolls fresh? Yeah. Do you have any kosher pickles back there? It's not. You don't walk in and there's like salami hanging. There's just a guy with one of those machines

that is just packaged goods falling out of the bottom of it. He's trimming pencils or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weird birthday candles are falling out. Dude, dollar tree gets real creepy. Yeah, a couple aisles. It's usually a dollar or some of those dollar places are like $1.59 or something like that.

They're like up a little bit. But I've definitely gotten dollar store meat before. What I have to do. Like ground beef or something? What are we talking? No, a lot of turkeys, hams, bolognese, different stuff like that. Pre-sliced meat you mean.

That'll give you Oscar Mayer taste. I don't know if I've gotten hot dogs and stuff like that, but I've never gotten ground beef. I don't even know if they sell there. I'd be surprised because I probably already would have bought it by now. I'm a little upset I've never come across. Yeah, but what you've got to do with cheaper meat

is because it's so sweaty is you've got to take two pieces of paper towels and absorb all of the excrement that's on the outside of it. And then you have yourself a good sandwich. Oh, god, I hate you. Holy shit. You've got to boil it first. Kill the germs.

You've got to put it on the sun for about three hours. You've got to let it sun. You've got to sun dry bologna. Is that what you got? Oh, you've got to put on some clothes pins outside. Fresh linen. Yeah. That's hot.

You've got to pat it down before you put it in your mouth. I would wash it before. I've never thought of that. Wash it. Have you never washed off chicken or anything like that before you put it in? Yeah, he's talking about like bologna sandwiches, though. Can't be washed in lunch meat.

I think ground beef, that's disgusting. No, no, it's just like thin slices of meat. You've got to pat it down with paper towels because it has like little extra little white stuff on top of it. Yeah. So he said it like so cute. Extra little white stuff.

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What happened to the ground beef? Now we're doing bacon? That's how good these guys are. Oh! We're gonna be a bozo who goes to the store and buys bacon. These guys are giving it out for free. I mean, it's good stuff.

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Oh, fuck. The lowest I've done was over the pandemic, I was staying at my family's vacation house down on the Jersey Shore for the whole time. And at that supermarket, there was a bargain bin meat. Like, you know, it was just like a cooler, you would open up and it was just like- Chicken parts you can get.

Chicken parts, one turkey. It was like everything felt like it had been frozen for like 35 years. It took forever to thaw out, everything burned. And it, yeah, it was not a good look. Yeah, when you get those chicken parts, you always get the vibe that they're not all from the same chicken.

Even if it's just like two drumsticks two wings. It's like a mob hit. Yeah, it's like Frankenstein, you pieced this together. Yeah, there was like a drive-by that happened. And they just had like the bottom parts. It's gonna wing from here. Throw it in the bag and get it in the cooler. How do you guys feel about people who pat down their pizza?

Like you'd always see people doing that back in the day. I get it, you know, especially if it makes it easier to eat, you know, if it dries it out a bit. I'm not a fan of it because if you have made this decision, you got to go all in. And I'm the kind of guy who goes like this. Let it drip in. Are you looking at me?

Are you crazy? You know, my answer is extra grease. Yeah. I'm with the kid over here. The only way I could see that is when you're doing the walking slice, it'll drip down the back. And you can't tell when that shit's fucking going down your thing.

I know, going all the way down. It's perfect because it's perfect. It's the exact same temperature as you are. It's like molding to you like a symbiont. That's why I like it. I'm almost fully pizza. That's it. That's his venom origin story is just like the juice of pizza.

And it's like it's all cheese. It's going over his body. Hey, we put dollar store meat on the pizza. Give it to the fat kid. Leaking into my blood. God damn. I don't even like the pre-sliced lunch meat. I won't even do that.

I get like the fresh. You have to get the cut. Yeah, I got to go cut. Sliced in, American cheese sliced in. Nah, Hillshire Farms makes a nice little thing that almost looks like one of those Tupperware things. Yeah, it's like at the red top or whatever. Yeah, they ain't bad.

Do you do craft singles ever, the cheese? Oh, yeah, of course. Chicago, so good. Solo, in half, right in there. You know, it's a nice little treat for you kids out there. That and Doritos. Cheese sliced, craft singles and Doritos. Wow.

I've had it. With a screamer, screamer Coca-Cola. I would never even get to that point where I was, I would just eat the whole bag of Doritos. Not have a little cheese. You ever melted. I would never cross my mind. You ever melted the craft cheese on tortilla chips

or the Dorito chips in the microwave? Tortillas for sure. 100% yeah, yeah. I've been making bootleg nachos for a long time. Oh dude, I think you and I have to do it for all. Using pretzels, chips, all that shit. I used to make seven layer nachos for my mom and I and then now I do it for my wife, upgrade.

Not bragging. Now we're doing nine layers. Yeah, I did. And you make them in the microwave? It's a whole thing. I'll put the tostitos cheese queso on the stove. Oh, that's the best, that is the best queso. That is the best queso.

It's so good. And then I'll have either a Mexican cheese or a sharp cheddar to put on top, refried beans, jalapenos and like with different, like either a habanero sauce or a salsa. And usually that's about it. Yeah, like all like just spread over, it's really good. We gotta take a break.

I'm getting it. Yeah, right? God damn, that's good. Yeah. Talk about trash and I love it. I remember when I figured out to do that because like I was always home alone from school by myself and like there would be some food but not much.

I was like, oh, I got the tortilla chips. Right. And I was like, I got America, you know, I got craft singles. And I was like, I think I'm the smartest man alive. Or the fattest kid, or the fattest lonely kid ever. That's where garbage tendencies come from. You get home, there's not, you gotta think on your feet.

Yeah. Oh yeah, you gotta make a hot spot. You gotta put everything in the fridge. You gotta go outside the box. Oh yeah. I used to do spaghetti, like boiled spaghetti with a can of cream of mushroom soup. Not too shabby.

And aristocrat, I see. God damn. And a glass of white wine. A nice pairing. Yeah. I saw the emblant. How do you feel, I would assume you're a big fan. How do you feel about the spray cheese?

I love it. I love it. He's trash. He loves it all. Cheese out of the can. Are you kidding me? Yeah, I would do that. I feel like Banksy.

That's how you're tagging everything around the city. There's cheese everywhere. Signed everywhere. Kid, he's close to this fucking. Dude, yeah, I would get jealous when I'd see that in movies. So like as a kid, when somebody would have a cheese can, they'd go, all right.

And I'm like, I can't wait to do that someday when I have money. Get my fucking act together and get some of that goddamn spray cheese. Yeah. I've been delivering paper saving up to get a little cheese with. That's been a constant in my house.

We have, there's multiple flavors. We have like every flavor and always have for like 20 years. There's more flavors? Yeah, there's like, we're a little fancy. There's like a port wine. There's like a port wine cheese or something. There's a nacho cheddar. A nacho cheddar, then there's a red cap one.

I think or like a dark red. I thought there's only that sharp cheddar one. No. There's multiple. There's been a lot of innovations. Yeah, cheese. Yeah, the canned cheese, people got their fucking act together. They really turned the industry upside down.

Dude, they need a vending machine with canned cheese. How dope would that be? Cold or warm. Either way. I mean, if you keep it warm, it's cracking open, ice cold. Wait, you keep yours in the fridge? You have to.

No, it's in the pantry. Once you open it, do you have to put it in the fridge? No, I think we put it in the fridge. The top hardens up, and it makes this little like fucking seal that you have in the room. It makes it so. It's self-sealing cheese. Did you accidentally put that on the chip

and then you ate the crunchy part? Oh, it's the worst, dude. Yeah, a hard piece of cheese is weird. Yeah, it's really weird. When a little air gets it, you go in there and it's just on the ends. Yeah, fuck it. This is not the best year of cheddar.

What is this, a 98? Yeah. All right, let's see. This is from Jono. Have you ever used tape and tissues as a Band-Aid? I have a lot. That's a big like construction site type thing, or like. I've definitely done that.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, just fucking tape it up. Have to. So did you ever do super glue? I was just going to ask you that. You ever super glue something? I've never done super glue. No.

Yeah. It's hardcore. That's real. That's like Vietnam shit. That's like mechanic shit. Yeah, a little super glue. That's like real rough around the edges. Oh, I assume it's like when you're about to bleed out.

That's when you go to that. I have family members that just, that's what they do. I did it like seven months ago. Really? For what? What was the injury? I was getting a pit of an avocado, and the knife went through the pit and into my thumb.

Sliced the shit out of my thumb, and the pandemic was cooking. I didn't want to go to a hospital bleeding all over Sam's parents' place. Like, you got any super glue? What? Yeah. It's a pandemic, bitch. Go get it.

That's crazy. This is going to get for a little while. I feel like that would not be good for the blood. Like, that's like putting chemicals. Yeah, the way to seal it? Yeah. I don't know. It was literally invented for that for Vietnam

to be used in the battlefield to heal up wounds. Super glue was? That is correct. Jesus. Wow. Damn, those guys were hardcore. People who went to Vietnam, yeah. Yeah, they were fucking hardcore.

There's a reason why I'm at the back. Yeah. That is hardcore. They don't have cheese pot gas. Until this day, he was like, eh, you know, those whims who went to Vietnam, yeah. Wait, they put super glue in themselves? These guys are nuts.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Guys are bonkers. Agent Orange would have a super glue. Yeah. That's hardcore, man. All right, there's one that's been on the pod recently. The pants and socks. What goes on first?

Pants or socks? Or give us the whole dress. Yeah. Start the shower. Get out of the shower. Start the shower. We're on vacation here. Come on.

Because there's another one. Someone else will want it. It's in this same world. It's going to be very divisive. I put on boxers first, then boxer briefs first, then I put on sheets, I hope. Yeah. That's my favorite pair, too.

Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. And then I put on the shirt, then I put on the pants, I put on my socks last. Yes, because he's a smart gentleman. That's why. I put on my socks last because I

feel weird like having the socks on already as they slink through the pant leg. It feels like weird to me. What? That's a good feeling. I don't like it. I like my tootsies out and about until I'm ready to put them in a shoe.

Yeah, it'll be the last. Sometimes I'll put my socks right next to my shoes by the door, and I'll literally put them on. Because sometimes I'll sleep in socks. What? Yeah, sometimes I sleep in socks. I can't get a read on this guy. You don't sleep in socks, and then just throw the shoes on

and go on about the date, do you? No, I'll shower. You're night and night socks? No, my head. Well, it depends. I usually shower at night before I go out for the night. And the rest of the day, I'll be in from the outfit from the night before.

Right, and then you're sleeping those socks, get up, take them off. Yeah, all right, that makes sense. That'll give you. Every day you sleep with your socks on? It depends. Sometimes I do. So the reason why I put up my socks last

is because I'm letting my tootsies air out from the night before. Well, that's what the evening's for. That's what the night's for. Yeah. That's why you should be doing that. So apparently, that's why ladies are not supposed to wear panties to bed.

Really? I'm listening. Let things air out. That's why it doesn't get. It's just like a foot. You're not supposed to put socks on it. Real thing, that's what I heard. Let a breeze get in there, you know what I mean?

Let it breathe a little bit like nice wine. Yeah, wear a kilt or something to bed. Cool it off a little bit. Because this one is, this is from Will. Do you unlace your shoes to put them on or do you just wedge your foot in and then slowly ruin the back of the shoe? Do you untie and tie your shoes every day?

Or what's your what's your steeze? I do, but I like to keep my shoes clean. I wore rough shoes to Skankfest because I just wore my vans just because I knew that there's going to be a lot of walking around. So I'm like, I'm not ruining a good pair of shoes. Sure, of course. So I'll tie my shoes.

Every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a sharp kid. Yeah, sharp trash or cool guy, trash. But sharp kid. Yeah, yeah. He dresses sharp. Yeah.

I die never. The shoes are an issue for you. Yeah, I'm not tying anything. No. What are you in there? That's how I determine when I go to the, when I go to Dix to get my sneakies, I make sure that I can do that.

Because if I can't. You still like, trade it like the 90s. Do you have them like put them on for you and stuff? The guy ties them, pumps them up. I make him measure my foot every day. Well, yep, it's a 32 wide. Yeah, you go in and the guy's like every time he's measured how does this guy not know his shoe size?

He's like, holy, it's an 11. I know you. You're 45. Your feet aren't growing. He's going to pay less asking for the usual. Get the shoe worn out. Sit there. That little bench had the little mirror on it.

Do the whole work. Looking down. Yeah. Got to shave. We're looking at them from that mirror, even though like we never look at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we looking at it from like way down here?

Yeah. Walking around with one on two, doing that like. Yeah, but you're always like, I think I could like this. You know what I mean? Is it comfy? Could this be me? Could I be this guy? Yeah, you feel like a fucking idiot.

My mom was real aggressive with the toe check, too. She'd fucking pop a nail on you. Yeah. Dude, that's it. She was like playing video games. The toes right there. AB, AB, AB, AB. Up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right.

Because she wanted to make sure there was about like a good, almost thumbs-worth. She had to get her bunnies worth. Of course, you got to grow into it. Yeah, she wanted a thumbs-worth. Yeah. Fucking tucking my toes back. Yeah, scrunching them up.

They look like elf shoes by the time she's done with them. She's like, roll them them back on your toe. OK, these are the ones, honey. They're pointing back, basing it. Are these Aladdin shoes? What are these? You'll get another pair in college. And then back to school shopping, too,

as you would, I would get like up until like a certain age, you'd be like, how's it in the crotch? And I'm like, all right. Yeah, you're done. You're done. You're done now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a little bit of fuzz down there.

Keep it moving, all right? Can't be getting handsy in the green room. My mom walking in. Where's the Husky section? I was a Husky. I was a Husky. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Struby now. Chubby kid. Really? Yeah, stretched out. Husky, tough skin, all day. Everything was reinforced. I was like a Mandalorian.

Fucking knee pads, fucking everything. And you're like, this is the way. You're dressed like a wilder. No, no. Pants are real. Only kid wearing car art and elementary school. Did he just get off at 12 hours shit? Fully driving a locomotive later?

What's happening? Fully, so those Duluths, what the fuck is that? Since this one's from Misty, did you ever own a no-fear shirt in the 90s? Absolutely. I had one of my favorite shirts in the 90s was a no-fear Tasmanian devil shirt that I had. Wow.

This was huge. He was huge, man. I had this lucky hat that I wore for years. There was a Tas as well. I think it was a no-fear as well hat that I wore as a goalie for soccer. That was a good luck hat. I would always get a ton of saves when I wore that hat.

Wait, wait, wait. You're in goal with a Tasmanian devil hat on? My what? Were you wearing it on the field? Oh, yeah. That's crazy. Goalie, though. What goalie?

Goalies play by their own rules. Goalies can wear hats. I mean, I don't know, like, professionally, I don't think that that's a thing. But when you were a kid, yeah, when you were a kid, you could wear, and I played Premier and everything, I could wear hats as a goalie. Any hat?

Any hat I wanted. He wore a Betts hat. He's not wearing a cowboy hat. Nice try, hot shot. Give it at him. You're dang tuned. I'm going to save this ball. Watkins lets another goal in.

The beekeeper mask was probably a mistake. You got the fencing mask on. Yeah, exactly. A little weird. Watkins has a turban on today in the Midwest. Interesting choice for a goalie hat. Watkins going with the British safari hat today. Very classy in honor of the Queen's birthday.

I should have wore a jester hat just to mess with people. You're out there in a fucking cat in the hat. They were big in the 90s, too. No mouth guard, just a pacifier. No sticks. Oh, you didn't get it past the baby. Looks like you're leaving a rave. It's like glow sticks are spinning up.

You didn't get it past the baby. Wham, wham, wham, wham. Looks like somebody couldn't kick it past me. The chief started the baby in goal again. Brooke Lennon. Brooke Lennon. Brooke Lennon. Classy.

Very classy as that. Wow, Lennon. You're betting. You want to feel a little bit better. Go, Brooke Lennon, baby. I feel like you're a millionaire laying in these sheets. It's an easy way to feel like a millionaire in that. Unbelievable.

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Do it. Kim, let's talk about decked. Decked? Let's talk about decked. If you got a truck, and you got tools, and you got this, and you got that in the back of it with the weather this time of year, it's going to get wet. It's going to get cold.

It's going to get frozen. Get stolen. Get stolen. Yeah. Well, grab your stuff while you're in there grabbing a cup of coffee before you head off to the job site. That's why you've got to get decked. Secure.

Keep your things safe. Yeah. The deck drawer system is weather-proof, so it protects and secures all your stuff from Mother Nature, who can be a real mother if you catch my drift. Oh, I feel you. Decked makes organizing, accessing everything much easier. Each of decks, two full bed-length drawers

can carry up to 200 pounds of whatever you got. Nice. So the drawers roll out waist-high, giving you easy access for your organized tools and gear. Fit half of me in there. The guys at Decked were nice enough. They sent us one. And obviously, we live in the city, so I don't want to.

But my stepdad gave it to him. This guy, whoo, man, it's like, hell, here's this. Here's that. It's like, he's like going around in the job site, bragging to the other guys, look at this. My boy's got a podcast. Check out this cool shit I got. That's what he's doing.

He's like, he feels like the coolest dude. He's hanging out at the wah-wah. Check out the drawers. He flips the hatch down, flex on them. These truck guys love their trucks. Love them. Love them. You've got to flex on the other truck guys.

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Back to the show. Oh, god damn. I was no fear. Were you no fear that had to be hot when you were, because you were older? No, I didn't fuck with that shit. No fear, tap out, none of that stuff. They're not to Sammy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't clump those two together. That's all the same to me. No, you're nuts. There's nine bands named Creed. Jesus. You have the mentality of a 90-year-old man. What was the difference between no fear and tap out?

About 20 years, to be honest with you. I mean, for starters. Were they friends with Ed Hardy? What was the story? This is the weirdest family tree ever. I fucking hated Ed Hardy. Oh, well, I think, yeah. Because I could never pull anything like that off.

Sure. You would never. No. No, no, no, no. Those jeans were something like those bedazzles. The dragons, the bedazzle, all that. No, I hated that stuff. Yeah.

I remember thinking, I'm like, man, I hope this doesn't get to the, like, where I have to. You know what I mean? I'm like, I hope this never gets to the point where, like, everybody's doing a butt meat type thing. You got a cowboy hat and a shredded t-shirt on. Balding wearing a dragon t-shirt. That's a bad look.

No, I never fuck with any of that stuff. Big Johnson was. Yeah. What about Big Dog? Did you show up with Big Dog? No, who was Big Dog? Big Dog was for bigger boys. Yeah, I wore Big Dog all the time when I was a kid.

Was it Big Dogs or the Z maybe? Does that sound right? Or was it just Big Dog? Big Dogs, maybe. Big Dog, Big Dogs. Is this a kid's clothing apparel? And they had, like, witty kids and adults. Yeah, adults.

Yeah, we literally, my uncle, we call him Uncle Big Dog because he used to exclusively wear Big Dog clothing. He had the dogs playing poker. He had the dogs had a barbecue. If you ain't a big dog, then get off the porch. Those kind of like graphic tees and stuff like that? Yeah, it was all kind of like bad ass or witty. It was like Big Johnson type stuff.

Were they, no, Dalmatians? What were they? No, they're like boxer. Yeah, I forget. I know I can picture them. And it said, like, you would always, like, big dogs here. And then, like, they had, like, the picture on the back. Yeah.

Yeah, damn, let's get some fucking Big Dogs gear. Yeah, dude. I don't know how I missed that. I would have been all over that shit. Oh, dude. Yeah. Fat kids. What if that was a brand that came out?

Juvenile Diabetes. It just has fat kids with a Z, and it's, like, trying to be cool. What's up, what's up? Just four guys wheezing. Him standing on a bro. The little, like, Tommy Hilfiger thing is an inhaler. Some kids standing on a broken skateboard.

Yeah. Two liter of Mountain Dew. We're having a good time. This is it, baby. Down here, Tutty South for Skankfest South, which has been fantastic. It has. Yeah.

As you can tell, my voice has been gone. I've smoked 3,000 cigarettes in the past 48 hours. Caught a couple of American spirits yesterday. Usually, I would trash. Yeah. Not too shabby, though. You were pretty good. Pretty good.

This one's just funny. This is from Tony P. Ever by a playboy at the airport. Because if you are, that's a bit. They don't sell those anymore at the airport. Maybe I like the Hudson News and stuff. Holy shit. But you can't be reading that on a plane. Is that illegal?

Like literature just like, yeah. The glasses on and everything, or the night. I got the light on. He was like, oh, this is a good read. Did you bring me another blanket, sir? Make a little cocoon over top of you. Yeah. Repel this interval and tape it to the window.

So we're landing. You're going to have to remove that. Tiffany's got to go and put your bag back under the seat. Seat back. He's got it up here like that. Like he's at summer camp. That's fucking awesome. That's nuts.

I mean, I think we might have touched on this before. I would do like the Maxim and stuff before phones and before every TV had like, or every chair had a TV type thing. My brother had a stack of, I've never bought one at a grocery store or anything like that. But my brother had a stack of, he had Maxim, FHM, and a couple other like, what was the other big one?

Like gals and guns or something. Gals and guns. Something weird. Something to make you feel real inadequate while you're taking a dump with your brothers. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, like the same as bathroom in the basement, just a stack of them.

And I would be like, whoa, this is intimidating. Yeah. Yeah. And the Maxim's, they came out, it was a new addition to that every 35 seconds. I swear to God. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was billions of them.

People had stacks of them everywhere. They were hot. You could get like, and it gave you like, it was a good thing. It was like, you know, fashion and tech and stuff. It wasn't just, you know, girls, you know. Yeah, if you were a local girl of Maxim, that was like a girl that could have gone to school with you. Like it was like, they were at like all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. One, I did go to school with one of them. And it was like, there you go. It was like, did you hear about what? I don't want to say the boy, what's her name, sister. And you're like, oh, it's all right. I got two copies at the house. Hometown hotties or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's a boy. She's going to Harvard next year. Really? No, she's bartending, you fucking idiot. All right, this one's from Sanders. Couple of misses. Come on, go ahead.

I apologize. I'm not used to this southern air. The altitude is different now. I'm all uncomfortable. You keep looking at me like we still do with this. Like, yeah, dog. This guy's out in left field with a hockey stick. He's playing goalie with a hat on.

I'm in a country. Give me some the bomb. Give me jokes to bomb. I might bomb this fucking show tonight. Give me some the bomb. I did it all for the tasty treats. God damn it. Nothing from before?

You know what? How do you double down on your bomb? Like, oh, maybe if I make fun of my other bomb with a bomb. That's what I thought I was going to do. Does that ever work? Can you bomb yourself out of a bomb? You're trying, and it's not working. All right, this one's from Sanders.

Are you or anyone in your family regularly buy season passes to a water park? Were you a water park kid growing up? We had, it was a year round passes, but we had Worlds of Fun and Oceans of Fun. Damn, that sounds pretty fucking good. They were like conjoined. So if you could buy the more expensive pass

and get in where you could go between the two parks for the day. World of Fun was like a proper amusement park. Exactly. Oh, I got you. Yeah, so it was divided. The water park attached, yeah. Exactly.

Classy move, by the way, when they started doing that. Oh, dude. Real nice. Those parks were awesome. I never got season passes to those, but it was a big deal if we went to one of those theme parks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they were fantastic. Anything you were afraid to ride?

What was your favorite slide? One of my favorite coasters was called the Timber Wolf. It was one of the last wooden roller coasters in the world, and apparently a few people had died on that one, so it added to the lore of going on. Of course. One girl, I think this is an urban legend that got passed around, one of the girls who rode one of the coasters

at World of Fun supposedly had really long hair. Oh, yeah. That one, you know that story? They did that for a great adventure for a ride called Freefall. Yeah, it's like, yeah, she got it stuck in the cart behind her, and it ripped off her scalp, and then she bled out in the coaster.

It's like the Richard Gere and the gerbil thing. That one's been everywhere. Yeah, exactly. The bamboozler was a good one. So they'd knock you out and rob you? A bat, baby! A fucking bat! He was racing me on the fucking bombs.

Now I'm back. No, they stunk. I thought Jeremiah left for a second. Doesn't make any sense. The Zambezi Zinger was one. It was a Zimbabwe-themed roller coaster. It might have got it canceled. Yeah, I tell you.

Maybe this isn't the most culturally appropriate roller coaster ride. That didn't make it out of 2005. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like, all right, we got to play that. We got to set this one down. This is crazy. Say it's down for maintenance and just close it.

Yeah. I was a shotgun falls man. Shotgun falls was the water slide where you would, it would drop like 15 feet. Like, you know, go and then you would just fall into the pool. OK. Just kind of just straight down. I was a big lazy river guy too.

Lazy rivers were fun, man. That's the best. Yeah, they were good. It was fucking cruising around. Always felt like a badass, like hopping between tubes and stuff. The anxiety of those places, like when you went up there and like you were scared and all that stuff, I didn't really feel like it came from the rides itself.

If there was nobody there, I would have been OK with it. Right. But no one like there's a slightly older, super attractive lifeguard standing there at the top watching you. And I got my fucking, you know, little husky boy boo. Oh, yeah. Maybe a couple of fucking foamy's on or something like that. Oh, man.

Swimmies at a swim pool at a water park is a tough look. Hold on. You were never a nose plugs kid. Were you at the pool? No, I've got too much going on here. No. Toby, were you a nose plugger? No, no way, dude.

Dude, that's a tough. When you jump in the pool, do you hold your nose? I did for years. Come on. I did. Dude, there's so much real estate up there that I could die just from the amount that would go up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was always a tough look. Oh, yeah. Excuse me. Yeah, I would go around the Lazy River and there'd be like a hot lifeguard that there would be like mine, my friend's goal was like, who could make that girl laugh? Like the hot older girl. And then we go around in circles and like,

see who could make her laugh on each trip around. That's pretty fun. Yeah, it was a good game. It was a good game. Damn. Like, dude, you made that hot girl laugh. That's awesome. Yeah, it was too much pressure.

That's what it was for me. We'd always go to the one in Wildwood, New Jersey, and we'd have to. The thing that you was like climbing, I was fucking petrified of those wooden stairs. Climbing up the wooden stairs to get to the top of the water slide, fucking standing there like it. The build up on that.

Because there was nothing underneath that. That's what I'm saying. I got bit by a horse fly once on the way up. I didn't even say a horse. I was like, what the fuck's going on at Ocean World? Dude, carousels are real. At Ocean's of Fun, on my way up on one of those wooden walkway up the stairs, I got bit by a horse fly,

and it hurt 10 times worse than a bee sting for whatever reason. Yeah, though, they can fuck you up. Yeah, dude, it killed. Yeah, it was nuts. I would always like going on the ones with the tubes, because I could hold the tube in front of me and hide my man, you know, my little boy boobs. That's great.

Hide behind the mat. When you lose that tube in the hole, though, you're fucking. You look like an idiot coming out of there. You ever have to go and time out at a public pool? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus, lay off the sugar, kid. Holy shit. I went in time out.

For what? My brother was spitting on my friend and I as we went down the water slide. OK. So we're like, OK. So when my brother goes down, we're going to go for it. So me and my friend are in it. We're going to shit on him.

We're literally like, ah. And the lifeguards are looking like, what are these kids doing? And then as soon as my brother goes down, we're like spitting. And they're like, you two, how do you? And then they laid us, it was like a corner of shame that we had to stand in while we were like sopping wet like outside of the pool, like behind a red line. They're like, you guys are sitting in time out for 15 minutes.

And like as a kid, that's an eternity. Oh, that's a whole summer. It's an eternity. Christ. Yeah. I remember one time I was like, yeah, we're going 45 minutes in my head. I was like 45, 15 hours.

Yeah. 45 minutes. You'll be flying? What's the deal? Yeah, what the fuck? Well, you're just looking around. There's nothing to do. You're just like, oh, man.

I even hate that when I don't know as an adult, like when we're walking somewhere and you know where we're going exactly. He's the worst with that. Oh, you need to know exact minutes. Yeah. I need to know. And he's going to complain whether it's one or 18.

Because I get a couple. It's the same ratio. If I get hit with it's a couple blocks down, and I'm three, four blocks away, I start to lose this. I had to stop. So sometimes I'll hang out with audience members who will come to shows or whatever where they're like, they're like, oh, there's a pool hall like a couple blocks away.

I had to stop just blindly trusting because a couple blocks away. And so it could be like 20 minutes to people. It's a 20, 30 minute walk. I'm like, that's not a couple blocks. Yeah. Yeah, now you're on this fucking excursion with these people you don't know.

Yeah. It's like sometimes where it's hard to get ubers in certain cities and stuff. It's like, well, we're doing this now. All right. Yeah, here we go. Here we go. 15 minutes in.

There's no turning back now. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. All right, this one's from Frank. You or anyone in your family ever go to a college that you've learned about on TV, such as ITT Tech, Weyotech, UTI, et cetera? I had a lot of friends go to these things.

Take any online classes? Or like the programs. You become an electrician in two years or whatever. No, I didn't do any trades or anything like that. I mean, I've got, I'm an associate of the arts degree from a community college, so not the brag. Well, you are the joker, so it fucking worked out. There you go.

There you go. God damn, I had a couple of buddies become a computer programmer and whatever type thing. Yeah, never really got off heroin. They're still, still, still struggling. Good football team, though. OK, then. There's a community college somewhere

with a picture of Jeremiah dressed as a cat burglar, like our greatest alumni. Dude, the college that I went to. Give you an honorary doctorate degree. Dude, a doctorate from a community college would be epic, dude. The only one ever everywhere. Yeah, dude.

Yeah. I think ask me to come back and speak at that college. I'm going back and speaking at that community. Close it with a joker's voice. Drop it. Yeah. Class of 2044. It's so nice to be here.

Police is going nuts. Seven people out there. Yeah. It's all on Zoom. Yeah. It was a light semester. We think a lot of people in. All right, let's do one or two more here.

We actually did this one yesterday with the other day with Josh Prada, but it was funny. Did you ever get gum stuck in your hair? Yeah. What'd you do? Also, the mess was so dumb. I don't know why I did this. I was being ADD in class one day,

and I was going like this with my gum. I kept going like this. And then I went, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And then the teacher literally, I go, and then I go, like, it rea- like, it sunk in like that I did it to myself. Yeah. And then I look at my teacher and go, uh.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Come wrap the wrap. I'm an asshole. I have gum in my hair. Can I go to the restroom or the nurse? And he goes, yeah. He goes, I watched you go like this. And then like this.

And I saw you do that. And I was like, why did he do that? And I go, I don't know either. And then I had to go. And my friend had to help me hold my hair while they tried to like pick it out. But they had to cut some of it out. Yeah.

Was there a Watkins family method? A Watkins to pulling out the. To getting gum out of there. They did ice. Ice is big. Ice is a big one. I think that gets on your clothes too. Like ice, you know, you're supposed to rub ice on it.

Yeah. That makes sense. If you get stung by a bee, it's mud that happened once. What? Bottom. That's not real. No, that's not real. Come on.

It's got to be real. That is not real. Jeremiah got bit by a bee. Put some mud on him and suck it out. Throw some dirt on that boy. No. Dude, I got stung by a bee. And my mom or sonny said, put some mud on it.

And then like we slapped a bunch of mud on the, because on the bottom of my foot and like we rubbed it. And then the stinger came out through the mud. What? Yeah. I don't know. Holy shit. We've had a lot of scumbags on this show.

This might be the first actual version of dirt pour. Yeah. Yeah. Put a headache, eat some dirt. Jeremiah, you don't need a bandaid, all right? We just got some mud for you. Just put a little bit of sewer water on it. Put some water on that dirt over there.

And it'll get all like wet and stuff. You slap it on the bottom of your foot. But it came out, so it must work. It did come out. It's got to be something with the coal. That's luck. That's a one. I mean, that's a one in a million shot.

You got a shitty bee. That's what you got. Yeah. You got to be with a bad shot. That bee didn't have enough initiative. You got a lazy bee, OK? All right, it didn't go deep enough. Marty, did you get that guy?

Yeah, but not great. That's fucking insane. Ever been sprayed by a skunk? I have not. No, not a skunk. Porcupine? Oh, man, that's always a tough look. You get hemmed up.

You got those needles in you. That's a bad one. You're not going to go to the nurse's office with that. Excuse me. Yeah. That's a rough one. No, I've seen some skunks and stuff like that, but I've never, no, not gotten close enough where I got sprayed.

Yeah. Did you ever have it in school? We would have if you were at gym class or something, or you ripped your pants or fell in mud, where you had to go change. We had to change in the lost and found at the nurse's office from what was there. So I remember it happened one time. I forget what happened.

I don't know if I shit my pants or what, but I had something happen. And I was like, I called my dad or something, like, yo, you got to come get me, like, I'm not wearing these. I'm not sitting here trying on all these different parts. Because, like, at that time, I was a fat kid, too. So I'm like, the chances of there being like a pair of extra large sweatpants at the elementary school nurse's office is a stretch.

I'm in here to pair of ball hunters. Get me out of here. I was asking the nurse, I'm like, hey, do you have any of your husband's clothes on you? You made me think of, for some reason, with the skunk, but real trash. You ever have a deer run through your high school or anything like that?

Because we have. We had a fucking deer run through our high school. We had my neighbor's house. It jumped through the front window. I guess it saw itself in the reflection and fucking dove in. It fucked this house up. Fuck you looking at. I bet.

Yeah. That's insane. Fucked it up. Yeah. And they were so trashy. They left the wooden boards. They boarded up the window, like, for the night. And then I kept it up there for, like, three months

before they got it fixed. Did you ever put on your, were you ever the mascot at any of your schools? No, you probably were, though. Yeah. What were you? What was it? I was an eagle.

Yeah, it was like this, it was a giant costume that had, like, literally the talons for rubber feet and everything. It was a legit, like, huge, proper, big head, everything like that. And I wore that, like, before I played basketball. I would play basketball after I was the mascot. Wait, what?

Holy shit, Jeremiah. So you would do the warm-up, like, everybody would do this thing, the flapping. And then you'd be like, all right, I got to go play soccer. I got to go play basketball. Did you keep the costume on when you were playing? He still got the shoes on, though. I saw the wings.

And I was like, pass me the ball. It's like a shitty teen wolf running down the court. That block it can soar. Dude, that's a tough one. Holy shit, you were the eagles, right? You were the eagles in grade school, yeah, yeah. Talk about a go-getter, though. There you go.

There's a guy that works hard right there. Yeah, just playing multiple times, playing both sides of the ball. I think it's out there on the court and gets in the paint, like a gentleman. Yep. Also did concessions at halftime. It's also coaching the class above me.

It's the weirdest remember the Titans ever. Nobody wanted to see this movie. Buddy, thank you so much for coming in to sit down with us. We absolutely fucking love you. What do you got coming up you want the folks out there to know? Check out my podcast, Jeremiah Wonders and Scissor Bros. on YouTube. And I'm at Jeremiah's standup on all social media.

Check out me as the Joker on DC superhero girls. I post clips and stuff on my Instagram. And then I've got a standup on the spot special that is out on YouTube now that you should check out with Shane Gillis, Akash Singh, Trevor Wallace, and Ian Fidance and myself. And we filmed it and Moon Tower at an awesome. It was fantastic. I saw it. It's great.

Thank you, man. Go check it out. Buddy, we love you. Thank you so much. Love you guys. Thank you. What do you got for him? Just make sure you're ready to subscribe.

Back Kevin Ryan Cobb and all social media. Get some fucking come out to a live show. We'll see you on the road. Gang, we love you and we'll see you back in the city. Peace. Peace.