Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Jet Ski Repo w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: June 13, 2022Kippy & Foley are back with a family ep! Its a fun one! Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garb...age/
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Middle-class famous tour gang is coming to a town near you. Oh, yeah
Nice mix of stand-up play little a yg with the crowd. It's a good time
Good way to introduce people to the show bring the homies bring the bozos bring your guy bring your gal bring the whole fucking squad
Yeah, guys, we introduced a whole new set of cities. We got Buffalo Pittsburgh Detroit Red Bank, New Jersey Seattle Portland, Kansas City
Springfield St. Louis
Nashville Indianapolis get those tickets come out with the boys. I'm all the way
Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or
Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley
Hey
Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast
This is our you garbage. Oh, well show we sit down your favorite comedians and we find out the group to be classy
Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your hostage Foley coming at you on a beautiful day
We're down here at Antutti's basement. She's down the beach for a week
Okay, so every year her and the girls they go down there about 15 of them
Uh-huh, they got a hotel room. Yeah fucking tear it up for the week
You know how it goes much about talking about reading that John Grisham on the beach
Okay, talking about fucking pity contests and doing fucking speed. Okay, letting it all hang out down. That sounds cool
I do a couple of joining rooms
One for the watchers my co-host is coming at you from across the table
He's my best pal in the whole wide world. He is the Prince of Park Avenue, but always
the king of the boards
Give it up for KJ
Kevin James Ryan the Kipperino the king of the boards. I was a that was the name at the beginning of this show
We were doing kippy was king of the boards down there
Why wouldn't New Jersey when it's all started on the on the my mom's couch what you were for a minute
Weren't you the king of the boards or you had the body surfing or you ate the most calzones or something like that?
What'd you do?
He had but at the most seagulls
Fought the dunk tank guy more than anybody and why would why wouldn't New Jersey now the board's I did the
Quarantine down there is the only guy on the boards for fucking months doesn't only guy in that goddamn town
Had that whole town to myself toughest guy at the gym over here, huh?
Squat 150 I was working the bucket toss and throwing it. You know what I mean?
How about a nice quick shout out to our producers?
I didn't get to do any hold on any of the plugs. I need a business that was so perfect though
Yeah, so we got the new headphones were zipping around. We're I know I don't like them and toadie bones gonna be pissed
They're huge on you by the way
Again, you're wearing two satellites. I'm telling you to the same ones you have on I look good though
Guys make sure you rate you subscribe on itunes full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are true
the room hook it up and
Then the greatest website of all time
All the action is over there on that patreon we threw a couple things out there let him peek over the fence a little bit
We throw a hard feelings out there on the YouTube
People loving it and hey people like you guys are so mean to each other like it the show's car whole fee hard feelings
What do you want for me it ain't called ain't called hugs and no, it's not those warm fuzzy feelings
This is where the fucking we let it all hang out and come see us on the road. We're gonna be in red bank
We're gonna be got some new dates at it there new dates coming out. We're gonna be red bank. New Jersey red bank
New Jersey Smith's turf. Okay going out there comic books and fucking long dusters. Okay. We need to get out
Yeah, apparently that's a nice town red bank. Yeah, it's nice out there. Okay now back to T bone as I said
I apologize for interrupting sir. He's the brains behind the operation. He's the magic man makes us all look good
He's the guy that got these new headphones. I'm telling you right now. Give it up for Toby McBowen everybody. What up, dude
What up T bone? We love the headphones. The headphones are perfect. Sound really good
I don't know. Sound really good. It's funner if you say you don't like him and T bone loses his shit
And that's kind of the character I'm playing. I looked at so many fucking headphones
It's the only piece of technology that gets bigger the more money you spend. I'm gonna see how
How things play out between
I'm gonna see how things play out between me and T bone
What side you're on to determine whether how nuts you are by the way, I can be bought
I know yeah, tell you that right now. Sometimes you get bored just rustle up a fight
I had kippy turn his head on a couple of breakfast tacos this week. So what can you do for me? Toby?
That's what I'm gonna say. I oh right here going out. No, it's okay
Sounding good. Yeah gang. It's a fucking family episode and damn just the boys just the homies just the bozos
We're all hanging out. We're gonna be answering your questions
I have something I got to run by you which you're aware of I'm here buddy, but it made me think of a question. Okay
How long is too long whoo, this is never good coming from you to not brush your teeth
Now we had a great great cump on he went six months. Obviously that's that's that's nuts
Mm-hmm, but for a normal person, I don't know
I would a bad situation I would say a trip to LA for a Monday to Thursday
That would be my guess that that is the the length you should you should brush your teeth
It's funny you mentioned that's why I brought it up. Yeah, kippy and I were out there on the coast
I got out there into the hotel room
and
I didn't have any toothpaste
Which probably you had it because you always come to me in the air
For the toothpaste no
Anyway, I was out but good good thing my good pal kippy was on his way to 7-eleven to get his afternoon tequito fix
You get a charger. We were fucking jammed up out there. Chargers at 7-eleven. Yeah, you're hurting the guys like what do you have an iPhone 4s?
I'm like, what the fuck so get the big John the big plug at the bottom. Oh my god is 220
We left our radio shack. I I know Toby's cables on the road to Toby cables
Um
You ran you got me toothpaste. I it was a very early in the morning about six o'clock in the morning
God, I couldn't sleep a jetlight down there playing a coast back and forth like we run in the numbers like we do
I hear they're like a detective. We were upside down on that trip. Um, I
I ran I said hey, I'm going to 7-eleven. Do you need anything?
You said get me some toothpaste, please
Get you the toothpaste
Then I don't see you I forgot about it. No, like I get it's in my room
But then like it's like all right, we're gonna meet it too or whatever downstairs. No, like I'm gonna pop down
What I would have to pop up. Yeah, I thought you were gonna drop it off and I just forgot about it
And then the next day turned into the next day. Yeah, the next day the turn of the next day
Yeah, so what I did was also with the Bernese were how do you put it plentiful on this trip ripping heaters a lot of fucking heaters a lot
Of coffee. Yeah, my breath a lot of Mexican food. I was making my CPAP machines think
Quit midway through
They have toothpaste at the I know I just got that we're at no a we're hopping or singing we're moving
You know, I just forgot about it the way that we're meeting all these cool influential people and you got fucking gout in your mouth
No
I would have I would have left
We were out of there usually early in the morning and gone for most of the day
Except for the 15 hours. I slept in the hotel room man. This guy could put a nap down
Literally thought he died today two days in a row. I'm calling. I'm texting about to send fucking security and ram the door
But anyway snoozing I got by I would just you know, there's like a little bit of toothpaste on there on the brush
You wet it if you wet it mean like the caulk that forms like a third of the way down
You put a little hot water on that. Yeah, that reanimates is that'll cream up for you
Yeah, you'll get a little mileage out of it
But I got a couple of brushes out of that and I just went I figured that loosened up
You know, whatever was in there loosened up the the rocks and shit that are in there and then I rinse my mouth
I let the smell out
Really unclogged the pores gargling with for breeze keeping it moving
But then I just I just did heavy on the gum. I just what I just two pieces of also in your defense
We spent the whole week together made out a couple of times. I didn't notice
You didn't notice. Uh-huh. That's good. That's good. But what is the way that's a testament just how you smell all the time
What do you think? Uh, is the
One day
I do a thing where I don't brush my teeth until I leave the house. I also don't shower until I leave the house
Sure, that's normal. Um
Even when wait, when you get up, you don't want to have fresh breath and
Nah, who am I judging? I guess I know you just went four days and you're judging me for not having fresh breath in the morning
I wasn't at the house though. I was in a hotel room in the most glamorous city in the world
Meeting fucking famous people. Oh, yeah, that's gonna keep me from fucking being cool out there
Oh, we were gonna let him into the playboy mansion, but he didn't brush his teeth. Yeah, I mean, it's not that he's wearing pajamas and 900 pounds
388
um
Yeah, a day. I guess if you're doing something
camping
Camp here in we were like a five star hotel. You're comparing that to camp here in combat. Uh, yeah stuff like that coma maybe
The other side of darkness, you know, I don't know purgatory. I respect a good coma. Um
I don't know. Yeah, that's too. Well, that's too. But dude, we were at 7 11 together. We went to like multiple places
We went to the place where I bought the toothpaste and he stole it by we hate lunch at a CVS
We were at it. He picked up a shift. They were at a dentist's office. What are you doing?
Let's give me the toys for a cleaning. Yeah, uh, yeah, that's a little which I got to do that little to ASAP
That's the sign of pure garbage. Yeah, when's the last time you were at the dentist?
Which is weird because I know I got cavities in there. I should be that's how they end up as root canals
I should be an agonizing thing. That is the like cavities go. They just fucking get down in the gums
root canals are a scam anyway
Did you get a root can out of two's falling out in a couple of months or in a couple years they uh, they never let
Jesus, they never last root canals don't work. What do you want from me? Who says that a lot of people
six out of ten dentists
three out of ten mechanics
Yeah, ten out of ten dirt bags a root canals are yeah, it's a fucking scam
Yeah, but I gotta go get my teeth clean. Uh-huh find out what's going on in there
Sure. Yeah, go for it. Fucking take a look at it. I mean, I've mentioned the last one
I went to at my mom my girl bought me on Groupon and that was about four years ago
Guy guy trying to sell me on a fucking periodontist program and he had a mouthful of braces
Guy had a petco fucking going to work on you
Yeah, it was a couple of greenies in your mouth
Uh-huh dude age the age fully paranoia comes through again root canals often fail
Which require the same painful and expensive procedure to be done on the same tooth over and over. Yep. You're goddamn right
I know they're coming for us. Kidding me. What year did you graduate dirtbag university?
Right before I went your doctorate or what right before I went to slip and fall school
He got his masters and that's how they get you you can read all this to my new book. That's how they get you
There's a book in the future for us probably a book Simon Schuster. Why don't you call me?
Man, I wanted to maybe say this for heart feelings or something. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm putting her on blast
but
Your mom can't read
You're good
You're not far off. I'll tell you that right now
um
I was I was with my niece and nephew uh last weekend and they're but even young kids that they're
Instead of being in a car on their phones and stuff. They're reading. They're reading like books books
Like, you know, they like it my my niece goes back there in the back. She gets situated
She's cranking up this book
And it started started a conversation uh with my mom because like my nephew's like you guys aren't really big readers on your side
My sister-in-law's family. They're all readers big re I'm not a big reader
And I said I was like
I mean I lie to people and say that like I've read books and I recommend I recommend books that I haven't read
I've admitted that
But I asked my mom I was like how many books she through my mom said she's never read a book
A full book in her life not even angel is the issues that was real big with every third bank irish family
Angel is issues. Well, I read most of the secret. Yeah, that was another one
The secret for fucking in there trying to bang kormin a lecture or something. What was it angels with filthy angels and demons
That was the tom
Hank's it wasn't something based on that. Yeah
Uh the da Vinci that was cool. That's the devil has well been fucking devil propaganda in my
house
That's the fuck out of here that goes straight to confession. We boy caught a tnt for a year
Fucking heathens over there. No, this is true by the way
Tom Hanks
Holy water
Never watching big again, I'll tell you that
No, shit. Yeah, I turned my head around just to freak her out patty's
He's not here right now
Yeah, patty's never read a book. He just don't have this much fun after we spent a week together, too
This is yeah, what a good time but patty's never read a book. I've never really read a book. We're not big readers
My dad read like liars poker like a couple of minutes or something trying to scam his buddies
Read phil home use book
How to win with a paradox
Is that a real book?
How to win it all with two pair, huh? That's gonna be hard book
How to blow it at the tables, holy shit
High eights the kevin ryan story
Oh man, we stink
Uh, so yeah, um, that was that this is also a little more hard feelings, but I want to um
When we were out there, we went to uh mel's diner
Los angeles where the stars eat
That plays talk about a sticky menu
Oh, you were in a three stooge
I'll take more water
He's the later. No, um
So we're at mel's diner. We got time to kill before we go. This is very hard feelings, but um, I wanted to give our so we're sitting there
and
waiter comes over young kid
Uh, I go sweetheart. I go. Hey, can I get a I get a
Bacon and cheese omelet and he goes. Yeah, and he's like faulty. He's doing doing the iPad and he goes, uh
All right, so I got a ham omelet
I go no a bacon bacon. He brought me chinese food. Yeah, I didn't complain
Bake I go bacon. He goes, okay
And I go I thought he hated us and then he goes. Do you want any cheese with your ham and bacon omelet?
I'm like, no, no, no just and I'm literally in my head. I'm like this guy stinks. I'm like, I'm about to change table
And he goes guys. I'm sorry. I'm really nervous. I'm a huge fan and we were like, oh
Shit, I felt good man
But I ended up being fucking johnny on a spot with a diet cooks too. David
Dave shout out to david shout out to him out there working
Uh pursuing acting yep young actor out there and hollywood making a go of it hustler good
Shout out to that mills diner not too shabby
He had another way around and omelet though. It's good stuff. Yeah, let's get to some cues there kippy
Let's do it guys when you join the old uh patreon there
Uh, you get to ask a garbage question on here. Yeah, that's where we're at. That's where we're at right now
I mean a big man go don't only chop them up. They're a good time laying on me. Go ahead. All right, this one
Hit me
This one
This one's from austin first time long time never have one read there you go
Are you garbage if you open a can of soda with your teeth?
I can feel that I used to do that like exclusively. I don't know about that, but I know you're getting laid
I'll tell you that right now. That's a smooth move
That pairs with a giant oily sandwich in the other hand. Yeah, like you yeah, you're doing it because you don't got a free hand
A can
Yeah, ah, no bottle
Bottles cool
Who's what a beer bottle no one's
A kid no one's drinking bottles of soda could have a nice stewards or something hanks. Shout out the hank
Got root beer that twist off does yeah, that's trash
You don't remember the pulleys. Do you are you too young for that? What when you when the thing came off the can
Like the whole thing a can of beans no
What do you mean no the okay soda cans it used to come off like a tab
Yeah, like the thing would you would be able to rip it off the whole top
No, not the whole I'm right. I'm asking the little fucking thing with a little mouthpiece that you pop
The mouth. Yeah, the tab. Yes the tap. Well the tab used to
Come off and you'd flick like come off now if they're a little bit of work
No, this thing the whole thing would just peel off
You don't remember that immortalized in the jimmy buffet song stepped on a pop top. Come on now. Is that what that is?
That's what's called a crop top
Uh, yeah, I used to do that I used to do that with beers too a lot
Like course lights like playing fuck when you're like reorganizing the beer pong table or something
You're like fucking Jesus. Yeah, I can feel the fucking blood running like the
Yikes, I don't like metal on my teeth. No, that's what you feel every bite into a piece of foil left over on like a kick cat or something
Yeah, whoo send you to the moon
That and cotton balls, I can't fuck with cotton balls. Do you have cotton balls in your mouth?
Sounds like a dj gives me the fucking heebie a jeebies. Yeah, man. That's fucking trash, but it's pretty cool
Um, yeah, of course anything like that. It's kind of bad ass. You know what I mean?
Yeah, even opening up a bottle with the lighter. That's pretty cool. Give me that thing can't do that
The on the edge of the table you can do that. I have I can't I'm not like looking cool
I remember I tried to look cool doing that at my on my coffee table my mom
Partying with your mom I was just trying to be cool. She had bought like root beers or something
That nailed us broad. What do you want from me? Get a lot of this
Dad was at work
um
All right, this is from scoochie double day. That's a very deep cut of a name
Scoochie double day. Uh, how many tic-tacs are you eating at a time? Oh, that's a great question
Um, if it's the orange or fruity ones the whole thing's getting whacked. Okay. Yes
Of cool orange doesn't stand a chance. How many are you at a time though? Like
I'm mouthful. Yeah, so you're going mouth with the orange ones
The orange ones are the fruity ones. I understand mouth. Yeah, and even the winter green green light green winter green dark green
Rocks that's for four people. What is the dark green ones or the white ones white ones were new money
We're my secretary dark green. We were light winter green
My dad had about six packs of them in a car at all times winter
I put winter green in a different category than peppermint winter green is much more candy-ish to me
Shout out to the winter green lifesaver
That sparks when the lights are off and you chew it in your mouth. What you didn't know that
sets off a spark
When you're chewing winter. Go ahead. Go ahead. I see you fucking are your keyboard looking it up
You want to test me again? Is that like intentional or that's just like maybe you're radioactive?
No, that's was the thing you would turn the lights out and put me out. I'm saying do they advertise that though
It's like a party in your mouth. No, I'm asking if they don't advertise that you're creating electric charge kids are shocking themselves
It's a happy accident. He's right. I believe I never I never doubted you sounds like you did
No, I just didn't know what you I wasn't sure if they were like if it was like a you know
Fucking it's a side effect. Okay from the chemicals. That's not a word. Yeah, it is. All right now fucked up in the lab
um gamma radiation
But I see those differently is what I was saying even the winter green middle. Yeah, I would I would throw orange ones
I don't understand why the orange ones are the only ones that are chewy
I don't know either. Why is that? Yeah, it's whack
The fruity ones sometime. I think they sit longer
Maybe no, it's how they're made. They're so good. Nothing tastes like an orange tic-tac
You know what I don't kick out of bed either the fruity certs. It's a little old school
I don't think I remember those you want a certs guy. It's huge certs winter green peppermint. Yeah, they had the fruity ones
Those are those are those are the solid center
Solid yeah, there was there was like it was like a lifesaver, but they were filled. No, those are
Certs you sure positive. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was no hole
I thought you were thinking of breath savers because they had the extra little bit little blue in the center
That extra kick of a breath freshener. That wasn't breath savers. Was it? Yeah, it was breath savers. Kip. Let's talk about ladder
Love that ladder. Let's talk about ladder, baby gang. You don't want to leave your family holding the fucking bag
Nope, you got chest pains. You got bad knees. You got fucking tingling in your toes
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So you're not getting fucking buried in a frigid air box in the backyard
Life's fragile, baby. You gotta take you gotta you gotta make the right moves now to set people up in the future live for today
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Just answer a few questions about that your health in an
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Um, finally since life insurance costs more as you age now is the time to cross it off your list
Make a move. So go to ladder life comm slash garb today to see if you're instantly approved. That's ladder
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Yeah, no shit. Take your towers and beat it. Mm-hmm
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Mint mobile.com slash garbage do it do it breath savers my dad. We ever a bononka guy for a minute
Yeah, it wasn't good plus you get in your eyes and shit
It was real trashy my experience of bononka is exclusively throwing them into fires
Yeah, that was big
You also had to go like to cd part of town to get it
Holy shit real five star athlete over here
Why is that athlete?
Real busy on a friday night night school, huh?
Let's go birds go birds and breadsman
Fires were big at a time fires were huge the fucking hairspray in the lighter
Man, the first time I did that was like holy fuck. It was one of those things. You were like, wow, this really works
Sure, right
Jesus craves. Yeah, fucking shit in your pants wild. Look out that and ringing a lighter was always a good time. Oh, yeah
Fucking portrait till it caught your eyebrows. It was like aj running around. Um, the whole thing the whole thing
With the with the with the with the orange ones and the fruity ones and I'm I'm knocking them back as if they were nerds
Yeah, I think the gentleman think yeah, they're not nerds the gentleman thing to do is
Put them in your hand
Yeah, no, right there. Yeah, but then that's yeah, I'm tell I mean
Yeah, I didn't I didn't think you were eating. I'm like an athlete. I understand. Um
Yeah, that's a try never because anyhow, you want some after you were just oh never no all in your mustache and stuff
There's pubes in your fucking tic-tac holder get out of here
Little gentlemen thing to do is have them in the cup holder in your car and hey
When you're when you're getting out to go close a deal
Yeah, we're gonna hit on some ants or something what I've done
This is a real classy move people probably a lot of people probably do it out there
Is not brush your teeth for four days
Matt um
If you go into like uh, they have them everywhere now
But they kind of started at like staples and shit is the fucking the big big tubs of gum
That go that go in the console. Yes, let me tell you they go in the cup holder
You know what I stumbled across in the middle of the night. What's that those fucking ice cubes
The gum cubes, they're all right. They got a they saw I was just someone someone had them delicious the texture of those things
Oh, it might have been me because I got a I got a wintergreen pack in the car
I don't eat stuff that you have I actually that the other day if I ever cooked anything
Would you ever would you ever eat anything I cook?
I don't think so you said no I said I don't see where I would be in a situation where that would happen
But I'm gonna when we go camping I'm gonna work the grill you'll eat that
I
Don't agree with either one of those statements that you just made some pizza guys shows up. Yeah
Uh, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, they'd be different
I mean, it's throwing a hot dog on a fucking grill is one thing
You know mixing up but something something a
If you let's say you had a potato salads different
Let's say you had a potluck or something like that and I showed up with something where you didn't get to see me prepare it
There's no there's no reality where I go to a fucking potluck and eat food from a bunch of strangers. You're crazy
No way
Yeah, especially one that you're also invited like that's nuts. I've done them for like super bowl parties and stuff like that with, you know
Loose acquaintances, but never
Also, what do you make but I'm do a lot of stuff make scrambled eggs
Show up to a fucking
To a potluck with fucking scrambled eggs with a couple of shells in there
Snot sliders booger burgers. Yeah, whatever you need
bellybutton lin parfaits
Who wants more toenails? Uh
Yeah, no, I mean I've seen boogers on you
More than I've you know on too much. Okay
I don't think yeah, I don't think you know, I don't think you passed the fucking health and safety code either
You're entitled to your opinion
Did you just check yourself for boogers? I think he did I think he did and he looked like I put one there earlier
Is it still there? That's how I started shooting off at the mouth
Make sure I'm booger free
Not you got me. That's the right no boogers on me. I'll tell you that right now
there's
Yeah, I mean there's probably about I would say there's probably about
A coin flip 50 chance that there's either boogers or booger residue on you at any given
Probably it would be on my pants by my pockets if I sneeze right keep them
I transport them leader. No, if I'm if I sneeze on my hand that I'm jammed up
Man, we were in a we were in the uber
Right in an uber the other down the way to the airport. I think
And man, you were hocking fucking you were sneezing like people were sitting all fucking mortars
Ah, dude, the guy was swerving every time he did a that's all we were getting the tag
Dude, you sneeze so violently and they're so wet sounding. I don't know if they are but they're wet
sounding
Sounds like someone's throwing gack against the wall. I could do a thing too if I'm laying there and I'm bored
Um
Where I'll stick my finger all the way up my nose my pinky and I'll rub the inside of my thing just to get a couple of sneezes
It feels good. It's almost orgasmic when you sneeze. Well, that was like the big
That was like the big uh, lifestyle if you could sneeze Toby's got his finger up his nose
There's no way that that makes you sneeze
Ah, I'm surrounded by boogers, dude
Dude, my my my pinky's up there, dude. I got no you got to lift up the little piece of cartilage and rub it on there
I'll show you how it's come over to my house later this weekend
You just get like a really good sneeze. It feels good to get that. Sneezers are great. Um
Well, there was that old lifestyle if you sneeze like eight times in a row was the equivalent of an orgasm or something
I can see that I can see that
Yeah
Sometimes orgasms. It just doesn't say
Sometimes they're really good. Sometimes they're not but a sneeze is always a okay
Hear that folks
Get yourself some pepper wash your hands by the way both of you wash your hands. I want some tic-tacs now tell you that
He's got candy on a brain. I do that's how I get around it. Um, all right. This one's from you got another thing coming
Nice, uh new 45 dollar homie. What the fuck $10 tier $35 overdraft fee
Ah, man, it's getting overdrafted for patreon. That's a good piece of business. I salute you sir
Send us an email or send you a pack of cards or something or some koozies
Trying to make up for it
His question is a garbage if your girlfriend's meth head cousin bought a horse with the stimulus check ps. He's homeless
How much a horse has to be more than 1200 bucks? No, maybe not you can probably get an old nag
About that. You're not getting something for the breeder's cup. Yeah
You can buy a horse. You're not getting a descendant a smarty. Joe. He gives a horse on craigslist
Yeah, let's see. Oh, let's get into horse racing
Okay
Not like anything prime time, you know local stuff
Just around the neighborhood. Yeah street stuff
Let's let's go run core miles down by the airport
On my filly drag racing
What do you got t-bone? What can I get a what can you get me in a you know, get me an astallion for or a donkey?
What's this donkey cost? Hang on. I'm perusing ehorses.com promo good garbage looking for a date
I think that's the wrong kind of website. All right. All right. Yeah category. Uh, do we want just sort by price
Descending
You have to be a little more specific
Something I could pull a plow
Okay, okay, like a horse a standardized. Yeah, there are there. There's like literally 80 types of hunting horse jumping horse polo
trotting vaulting
cow horse breeding we're trying to fuck this thing
Let's start with buy a horse and expect to pay between 100 to 10 grand
Let's each get horses a hundred dollars. Yeah, we get a horse for a hundred bucks. Mm-hmm. It's probably not great
Probably seen some shit probably in a stew
Just to show with a bag of meatballs
The average cost of a hobby horse. Maybe that's what we need a hobby horse is three g's
8505 g's
Couple g's we can get a decent steve. What's a hobby this one's 578
But or best offer 578 that's like an old that's like an old jeep
They just have it standing out on the grass in front of the house
Next to a corolla
Uh, man, you gotta have a place with these people obviously live in a rural area rural. Yeah
With a meth prevalent also think about it though
I guess the upkeep of a horse, but that's pretty smart
You buy a horse get around town. Go meet your dealer. He's not using that. You can't use it like that
Why not because that's more upkeep too. You think gas is expensive. You know much oats cost
I don't think this guy's feeding them oats. It's probably grass. I wonder where they have it
It's probably I mean people in north philly have them
Like proper like they're called they're called like the cowboys in north philly
I know we've thought they have barns though somewhere. No, they're like kept in like abandoned
Empty lots
Not they can't be outside in the winter and stuff. They gotta have some type of shelter for it. Yeah, it's like a little
like a hut
Jesus, I'm telling you man
Out there trotting down broad street fucking flexing on these buses dmx blasting. I like it
I'm all about it jango and chain dance. Yeah, I don't know uh
You ever been on a horse? Yeah
Been on a horse
Been on a horse a few times. Okay, my boy. Mm-hmm used to be a horse fans
My boys parents did really well and they lived uh in a stable they lived on they had like a little like
Plot of land plot nice plot of land. They had like a north 40 and all that bullshit
um
Maybe not that much but they had a few acres up front a few acres in the back and they they ran the horses at the devon horse
Show they were like real hoity-toity. So we used to have to clean, you know, it was like a thing
You were just a lowly stable boy. Yeah, uh-huh caught after googling googling at the the owner's daughter
I'm sure too caught after dark at a rainstorm. Uh-huh
They'd love that night can't be me an old bronco
Me and here comes sunshine
Now, yeah, we used to fucking ride them. We used to run them around. We used to you know, it's a good time that we should do
Go out to the fuck go out to belmont. Yeah, go play the ponies the live races. Sure. They're a fucking hoot
Sure, you know, what's a great name for a hope for a horse on tootie's basement
And it's on to his basement coming around in the last leg and tootie
Tootie's play is something tootie's a great word for that boys. Here comes tootie. Here comes tootie
There you go. And here comes tootie coming around the foot. She's three furlongs back
With a marble 650 hanging out of her mouth making a really I've never seen a horse with a man that fat run that fast
Well, we got to do something we got to we got to adjust
We got to invest put you in a chariot be like the Coliseum
We got to uh, we got to invest in some sort of something like that a horse. I told you laundry mats. No something we come to the competes
All right, you know what I mean something
Little league team. How about highlight here? That's a real crooked. Yeah
If I could pay somebody off
Something like that if there's a team or some sort of something we could sponsor find some cuban guide out of miami
It'll play bowl
What what would we really up our alley is if we could sponsor like a dart team or like a bowling team would be no
But I want something I want something a little cool. I'd like little league
Little league's not bad
Getting a little league we have potentially could get to the little league world series
Kind of in then we're owners you have an in over there said i'm kind of in that's a good idea
That or like a peewee hockey team might be fun. There you go. Yeah
Games early get some scouts fucking start drafting kids from different area codes go up to fucking Alberta or something Nova Scotia
Pick them where they're growing, you know, be like adam sandler in the hustle
We just were talking about that great movie got to do something like that something we can rally really all get behind
Donors boosters paying off refs
Plus the concession stands build our own stadium
You're back there
I would be back. I'd work a snack bar. I'm gonna own a stadium
We could though that was I remember reading an article back in the day where you could buy like
It doesn't cost a whole bunch of money to buy like a sports team in like mexico or something
You know what I mean like a third like a fucking real lowly team
Some of you gondon lacrosse team. Yeah, something like that get it cooking
These guys are killing it. We can be we can be the booth. We can be working the booth. We can be calling the games
Or like like how Bert and Tom have a race car. What about what all the uh golfers are getting in trouble for the
LIV league or something like that. There's Saudi league. Those Saudis are throwing a little bit of cash out there
They're paying everybody 150 mil. I ain't got that kind of money. I'd have to move a few things around
Hey, listen Phil best I can do the owner. He looks mattress by any chance. Do you want one? I'm getting rid of mine
um
Yeah
I'm with it. Those Saudis are really
Really power play over there. Yeah, no shit. Machi Machi trying to stay up their radar
Those boys don't play nice. Hey, I am not a reporter moving forward. I have a lot of warning shots. No
No, they play for keeps those Saudis
They play to win
Who's ever lowest under par gets like
um
All right, let's see this is from tyler not a question
But after my cousin makes a sandwich he uses a piece of deli meat to wipe the mail off the knife and refers to it as a meat rag
I respect I respect the meat rags a tough look just do it and don't tell people
No, the well, it's not going back in the mail. I understand what he's saying this
But I understand I'm saying the name meat rag is a tough look
The gentleman's moves to do that on the bread and it works really nice
Yeah, maybe a lick as you throw it in the sink or whatever a straight mail. I'm surprising you. No, not mayo peanut butter
Peanut butter turkey hummus sounds like a name of a band toby's into
Did you get the new meat rag LP? I'm going to the country tonight. We're all sleeping out
We're just a bunch of meatheads
Oh
Hey the one going to the concert
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um
This one's from trevor never had one read devices that help you chug a beer faster. Yeah, you're nay
IE beerbong shotgun tools, etc. Etc. Etc. I like shotgun and a good beer. I think that's a good time
That's pretty cool. I used to fuck them up left and right
Stabbed the key in there fucking be all over me. Uh, it's cool
You do them real quick. T-bones gonna be very opinionated on this so everybody strap in
If you're shotgun and beers, you can't have any sort of tool made for you can't have any kind of fun doing it
It's real serious
No, it's the most fun to do it
But you gotta you gotta be using household stuff pocket knife butter knife a bottle opener like the top of a fence
something uh
Your thumb is is the best one. That's that's dangerous. It's not it's so tight
Uh, I think we always just use like a key of something. Yeah, like you know a house key of some sort
Yeah, I was ever huge on your shotgun thumb. We were a beer. What are you wolverine? What are you doing?
What yeah, it's yeah, exactly the thumb gun also known as the renegade. It's the best party trick known to man
Guys watch out. I'm gonna do the renegade. No, no, no, we're gonna go to the meat red
This party has three dudes at it, by the way
One of them's in the shower
The other one's a cat so every party you've been to has been catered by your mom. Shut up. Shout out the patty's
He's also 50. I mean is there an insult coming there somewhere
Yeah, everyone puts out a good cutty. I don't know you tell you
Fucking if you stifle the attitude lose the lip. Maybe you'll get a couple
With a little cranberry sauce and coleslaw. That's how we know it. Um, keep it real trashy
No marinara in our house beer bongs
There's a
Time and place for that. You know what I mean? You can't be fucking
Don't like acceptable time. It would be for me to like do a beer bong at this age. I feel
As a dirtbag who likes to booze on your way to jail
Uh
If you're at like a tailgate
And there's like the group next to you're working deep cover at the university Alabama a bunch of young kids or something like
Hey, you know, you know, you know, yeah, I'll do on fucking throw my hat in a ring for old time's sake
Frank the tank Frank the tank exactly. Um
But like you gotta be in your early 20s trying to keep these kids are not beating them up
It turns up a couple of pre-fresh, um, other than that. Yeah, it's very limit, you know, you shouldn't be just doing
Not at 35 or 36 or whatever you guys are. Yeah, I do like I used to fucking crush a beer bong
Now a gravity bong is so fucking good. It's all right. It's taking your head in the sink
One of those is saying straight. I mean, you also can't you should be doing those over after 22 either. What gravity bongs
Oh, if you're not cool, sure a couple of bingers
Fucking put you out
Fuck yeah, we're real nice
Uh, we were a heavy beer bong cruise and then you would like always had one someone had one in the trunk or whatever
All right, you fuck everybody bring it into the bar with you. That's crazy. Yeah, we had a couple of dudes do that
sneak them under the table
We had a kid that used to show up everywhere. We went with a fifth the fucking, uh
Uh, Bacardi or captain morgan's and just buy sodas and fucking
I'm not paying that kind of money for these drinks. I feel like nickled shot night. Yeah
Yeah, real trash. I think it's trashy captain morgan's is trashy, isn't it? It's captain morgan captain morgan
Yeah, give me captain morgan's. Yeah. Well captain morgan's rum theoretically
I'll have a captain morgan on the rocks would be the gentleman's way
Even then you're still trash and what's trash here captain morgan's or malibu
Malibu I've been fucked up on malibu before
Malibu's like I've been to the Bahamas once
Dude, I got a whole fucking plantation to fucking pineapple in me that coconut can kick fucking rocks, dude
I love it. I remember my dad like fucking perfume
I remember my dad making his virgin pina coladas when we were kids and we loved them
Little dirt balls every once in a while. I'd break out the blender. It's that a dessert. He'd make us a pina colada
Jesus christ
No booze in it
Or maybe yeah, it probably was probably trying to put you to sleep throw the moves at your mom
Hey patty the fat one snoring. I yeah, I hooked him up to a sleep apnea machine
Uh
Gave a couple of blue Hawaiians and set him off to bed
Yeah, no, we were capped captain old like I feel like each one of those in your 20 or like teens the 20s
You know had a run right like you had a year where captain, you know captain get a bottle of captain sure cheap vodka was big
You kids with the pinnacle and the flavored fucking vodka's that was we never did that
Yeah, no we that we never fucked with the cotton candy the whipped cream that shit was always smearnoff kicked that off
Yes, and my day. It was fucking chev smearnoff or uh, what is it stolly razz stolly stolly was it stolly orange
Fucking no
Get me a bottle of e and j and let's call it a fucking day stolly razz stolly razz and sprite
Little irk and jerk, are you right?
What do you think is trashier captain and coke or the seven and seven
Captain and coke seven cinnamon was introduced to me as a gentleman's drink. Yeah, really?
Yeah, I mean i'm from a dirtbag family
But I was at a vfw for someone's communion party or graduation party and my uncle was
Drinking seven and sevens with a twist of lemon and I was ordering them
Yeah, back in the day seven up was like it was like ginger ale was a little bit. Seagram's gin, isn't it? Seagram's yeah, that's
I mean, that's class canadian
It's important
Comes in a glass fucking jug a handle
Fucking real nice
Seagram's you know what else is pretty classy vo
My stepdad's dad used to drink vo straight out of a red solo cup
And he would look at you go get me one of these and he meant one of these my aunt colleen was a big vo
Vio and ginger pour in that form at like 13. She loved it. It's like turpentine. She likes seagram seven two i believe um
Yeah, they were a fuck with amaretto when you were when you were in young serrano on a rocks uh
No, they used to say de serrano and co it tastes just like dr. Pepper
Fucking give rocks. Give me a fucking course light. Let's call it a fucking day. Um
No, but we did do like the
Yes
Captain with captain and co captain and ginger was all right. It's like a fucking creamsicle
Fucking teeth anything with sodas fucking trash
Yeah, it's trash
Highballs, they called them
That's a real. Yeah. Give me a highball real garbage. I think highball is in the
Glass glass. Yeah, highball. Take a highball. That was patty's move. Uh-huh. It's a g and t as well
She does she's like a gin and tonic. I'll put one back
um now highball's just uh
Whiskey and soda with a lemon
Uh, yeah, I think or ginger ale or ginger beer. My bad. I think they misused it back then
They just assumed that it was all the same thing. I think I'm off. I think I'm off beer this summer and my drink is uh,
whiskey sodas
Not club soda. Yeah, like with a whiskey soda. Okay. Well, like uh, was like a
Lemon or a lime or something drinking though. You were drinking those white claws
Which are fucking garbage which is the classiest way to drink malt liquor. Yeah, they don't make you feel good
They it's not it's not it's not after like two of them. I'm like, it's like what I feel pretty fucked up. Like you just said chemo
Yeah, it's not fun. I said there's not enough Gatorade in the world to come back
over
No, shit you drink 20 of those you're out of commission. You gotta be hooked up to an IV. Yeah change the oil
Those things stink. Do you guys ever have sparks?
Back in the day
No, that was an energy drink though, right? It was the it was one of the og energy and alcohol energy and malt liquor drinks
Drinking that
Yeah, I've knocked back a couple of those
Those things will get you across the river. I'll tell you that a couple security deposits due to fucking four logos man
Shout out to my stepdad who kept it
Find yourself in the south end of an eight ball fucking pick up the phone and dial four loco. I'll tell you that right now
Tell me you to lift the fucking nightlight land man. They dude. They dropped jammed up. I was probably 20
Tell watermelon lime to get their ass over here
Those things came in like fuck it like a wrecking. They were outlawed for a minute, right?
They toned down the caffeine or something and they would change people
Who was like bad? I remember looking at my buddy pat who just wasn't there one night
Like I was like talking and I was just like you are another guy
Like prop not like blackout drunk. All right, pick him up like he was like a man possessed
Two of those in a full moon
The villagers would be chasing you
Like the torches boys
those were um
A wild introduction at that a in my early 20s of just like
Fucking ruining things. I was like when Elvis fucking came out. They were warning parents. Don't touch that four loco
Yeah, no shit
Thanks. We moved my hips in a weird way
Like forest gumps fucking with my legs going yeah, that shit really fuck
I remember man. I had like one instance where I was like I woke up
I'm like, oh no the lights went out before I left the fucking the lights went out the pregame. That's bad
I don't remember going to the bar. They go with your clothes and a hanger. I don't know what's going on school bus up front
That was trashy, uh, I was just talking to my wife about this the other day
We used to rent a school bus
To go from
The burbs down to the city when we were like, you know 20 21 22 was somebody was this on st. Patrick's day
No, that was an express buddy. That's a good. That's a do they do that all over. Is that just a trashy filly thing?
No, it's probably I don't you couldn't do it in new york
Try to listen there on st. Patrick's day a bunch of dirt balls all rent fucking school buses and go down
No, it's like a thing
It's like an organized thing like 30 bars take part in it and then there's like, I don't know
30 school buses that just 50 fights 70 breakups. Oh, man
150,000 crying ladies
Mm-hmm. I remember a bunch of dudes looking to tune somebody up. We were on the back of one and uh
Yeah, whatever we'll move forward
No, uh, we set a fire not we
Jesus
What do you think they're coming looking for you you fucking bubblegummer?
I think the feds are listening. No, hey, remember that fat kid that set the backseat on fire
Now somebody a kid like left their homework or so or left a book or something
Someone let it on fire and threw it out the window and it landed like you you you rented an actual school bus
That was in use. That's what we were shocked. Jesus christ a couple of kids. We had to make the stops
Man, I never thought of kids gonna get to that. I never thought about that
I'm on my way to fourth grade with my fruit roll-up in my sandwich talking to my best friend
And there's a guy finger popping his asshole on this and yeah, that's a sunday before. Yeah, that's Jesus
That was the shocking revelation to us. I thought they were sold off after they were like they had like rented cars
They had to be up monday morning and start cooking same driver. You think I don't know probably picked up weekend shifts
Well, we knew a guy who had a bus. I think he worked for the boss
That's never a good no and he would get you on a discount be like 300 bucks
Or 250 bucks plus you had to tip him 50 to get down there
What a fucking scumbag
But you know, you get 30 40 people on a bus
No, nobody's drinking and driving you fucking pull a keg on there for 50 like a keg of fucking natty for 50 bucks
And everybody throws up like 20 30 bucks. Is there underage kids? No, we were of a I mean, I'm sure there was a couple of fucking dingers in there
A couple of stragglers
The kid with the homework, I guess
A couple overachievers
Some hammered fourth grader like this bitch in homerooms really gave me a hard time
No, we were all like 21. Hey, you guys gonna see me set my lunchbox on fire?
Uh, yeah, it's a tough look. He's figure-blasted and some broad
That's terrible
It's a family show Kevin. I'm done. You're the one doing here about you and your dirtball buddies
Beerbongs or trash. Yeah, as I said started. Yeah, good gravity bongs
All right, this one's from janky never had one red. Do you have any jeans with paint on them?
I wish I did. I don't anymore, but that was a big
I think if you are working construct like even your nice jeans at some point get worn out get
That was cool though. If you could pull at one time, it was cool. Yeah, you gotta. Yeah. Yeah, gotta be tight
I don't have any jeans
I have a couple of I have a couple of wish list pairs up in the up in the closet
Waiting to break those things. How far do you think you're away? We got a long way. What are they 38 or something?
It'll be cold outside. I could tell you that and I ain't talking about else gonna freeze over
Global warming summer of 2028
We've slide into those things. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, all right, this one's from mavi
Does your family stand for the national anthem when they're watching the games on tv?
No, um
Does your dad take a hat off if he's wearing no hats in the house? No hats inside. He's a serviceman
No, we wear our hats inside fucking commie
Pinko best
Yeah, it's service
What are you talking about? You're the only serviceman a lot of wear their hats inside. I believe that's just it's a servicing
No hats inside is a thing from the the arm military. I thought it was just that a respect for the restaurant
No to not wear a hat. No, no hats inside. That's what tony soprano said
So you take it up with him. Uh, I believe it. Yo, it's definitely a military thing. I didn't know that. Yeah
No, we wear hats inside. He'll take his hat if the national anthem is on
He'll take his hat off though if he's watching it on tv. He won't stand up
It's all he's out doing the flag in the morning a 21 gun salute. He's doing taps over in the corner
I think with the bugle
No, no, no, but yeah, we I would say I know what you're getting at with the question and yeah, the foley's tend to lean a little patriotic
I can tell you this a memorial day every year you're watching gary sinis for about 24 hours straight
That guy plays america's hits that guy's a goddamn american right there. Shout out to fucking l t dan
lieutenant
First class whatever he's fucking top shelf
That gary sinis really fucking does it, you know, it's uh, uh, what just passed
Memorial day, right? Yeah, that's what i'm saying. Um, they were crushing that they might have
They they tear up during that
Different different parts of that
I think they might stand up when they do something on that. I'm not sure
Yeah, 69 watching the fillies get blown out upstairs. Um
If a hoagie in me they have on the george washington bridge, they hang that huge american flag things. All right
I don't I don't care if you're a terrorist here in a sleeper cell
That'll get you fucking charged up when you cross the g the fucking goddamn g w b hat in the highlight
Oh, buddy, you're a fucking you're you're usa usa man that thing's like slowly
It's the size of a football awesome, and it's like slowly fucking whipping. It's all right
Yeah
Too poor bastard's got to put that thing up. Oh, man. Yikes. Yeah
We have that whole setup. We got the flags. They got the flags. They had the light on the flag
Good as that goes down to half mass every once in a while for running low on muffins or something
At any point in your life. I pay the cop cash
We're out of hand drop the flag
Let them know at any point in your life. Did you have the tiny flags that go on the window of the car?
They were big. Oh, yeah, dude after 9 11. What do you mean?
Everybody was driving around like they were stone cold steve austin
Are you kidding me? It's not a thing. Everybody fucking flags everywhere
This is america god damn it good beers are dropping steggers
A couple of bluebell diplomats rolling around
On the front
Yeah, we're flags flags everywhere. We got like two or three flag boxes that he's gotten throughout the years
Um, yeah, of course, of course
Yeah, the little mini flags that go on the fucking desk
Flags all all day. Sure
Do you think about enlisting after 9 11? I did how old for you?
I was young. I was probably I don't know 40 45
That would have been last year idiot
I was gonna sign up after the pandemic
You just need a fat guy or anything trying to get this toe looked at
Now I did think about it after 11 you would have been like 23 or something
Yeah, 20 but I was like 300 pounds and I was a fucking huge you were fat back then too
I was fat. I went through spurts. I was like Nathan Lane back then
One minute I'd be like fucking tight in the next minute. I'd blow up
Tends to come that way
But drug addiction sure tend to fluctuate weight. Uh-huh. Uh-huh solid ground
Yeah, but now shout out to the guys that did
Shout out
Um, all right, this one's from mark
Uh uncooked hot dogs straight out of the package pass or play if you're nine
play
That was my move saturday morning. I would get caught all the time. My mom would freak out
No, we've touched on this before but never dude
I remember I saw my step dad do it for the first time when I was like 20 and I I bet to call the cops
You're gonna get sick. My saturday morning routine was I'd get up before everybody else. I'd go into the bathroom
I'd pee on the side of the toilet
So they don't hear you so they wouldn't that's my game too now. You got to do that in a one bedroom apartment
Which I don't think I would even have gotten trouble. I was just a fucking weird kid and scared and like riding the rail
Yeah, I was just I was sneaky one of the sneaky
And I go into the thing. Yeah, I got your lion started at a young age
Tell everybody I was doing homework
I got paperwork
I'd go into the crisper in the refrigerator where they kept the hot dogs
I take his that reserve for vegetables not in our house
cured meats
I've got grab I'd grab two no bun
Go downstairs fucking have the dog with me
Give him his tribute throw on fucking captain kangaroo whatever I have to the boss. Yeah, keep him shot
I got to keep him quiet. I want him. He starts growling here and fuck you jammed up daddy of it
Broads upstairs go over the alarm
Uh, yeah, I'd eat my hot dogs
Okay, it'd be gross now
I would assume
Maybe I couldn't do it
Something I wouldn't try
Because sometimes I'm pretty loose. I think it gets rid of that
Film there's like a film like the juice the water. There's there's a film in a smell to an uncooked hot dog
It's the it's that you got to get rid of a sweat per se
Yeah, you got to steam them up hard ends up into like bacon grease like what's the same thing
Yeah, it's the grease on it. That's why it's chalky at certain temperatures. I'm out
You gotta at least throw in a microwave like a goddamn fucking gentleman
Man 30 seconds and you're in did I used to do two oscar mayer cheese dogs for a minute easy minute
There was a button on my mom's on my mom's micro hit code 2 in for an easy minute fat ass button
Fat shit
Popcorn oh fat pig here we go
And then while they were cooking I'd get the rolls out
They'd be on a paper plate get the rolls out pull that plate throw them off
You'd have to stop at like 57 because at 59 to 60 they start fucking lose. There was a window
Yeah, they'd be they were pulling them out and they're hard
Jesus patty used to really fucking do a number on us because she kept the hot dog buns and hamburger rolls on the freezer
That fucking soft and try and you got a microwave and then throw them in the the freezer to get them trying to time that out
Throw them in the toaster
And you can never get the freezer smell off dude. It was like curing polio was fucking
Balancing act in there
Sometimes I'd make cheese dogs with just a fucking slice of a like a craft single if we just had regular diesels
Sure fucking take two diesels so I'd take I'd break one craft single in half throw it on air buddy
You don't got to explain it to me
Been there good old days back when living was easy, huh?
Bro was a much simpler place back there was oscar meyer cheese dogs, man
Something something about them. They don't do well on the grill. They got they gotta be microwaved. Yeah
Gotta be Michael a little catchy. Maybe we'll do that for our next patreon goal
I just eat a couple hundred of them
Hi, kobi. I see some cheese dogs
Don't get them in milk
All right, say that's funny don't get on them. Yeah, don't come
Yeah, go down to the don come and give me some donuts. That was tough. Don't come
You guys like donkey kong
Everybody here on street rude. Uh, this one's from andy ten dollar homie. Never had a
The most popular homie by the way is the ten dollar homie chicken sandwich according to neilson numbers
Uh, also all the ten dollar homies when I released the hard feelings on youtube as a little taste
They were all like, oh fucking let these peasants know how we live on the others
They were really going at it a little cake for the masses. Um
Is it garbage if someone uses the same unwashed container that the chicken was
Marinated in as a serving platter. If you're a guest and witnesses, what do you do you fucking walk out?
Get the come on man
Come on. That's the same dirt bag that fucking
Scrambles the eggs then rinses it off with water and then throws the ball throws that in there when you're done
That's how you get salmonellas. Whoops salmonella. No, okay
There's there's a person in my family that you gotta overlook a little bit
While these tasks serve you
You gotta make sure they have a clean serving tray because if they don't
you go how you get like
Hold on he'll be like, ah just coming in for a minute. Just throw him on there
It's like he he plays it real fast and loose with the germs. Really. Yeah to the point where like I'm like a sous chef
I'm like, hey, here's fucking 15 clean plates. What's 30? I'm trying to get out ahead of it. I understand
Trust me. I'm well aware
I'm my parent. My mom usually marinates the chicken in a ziploc bag though. We're usually bagpies. Oh, yeah
Marinate in a zippy. Yeah for sure. Maybe suck all the air out if you have one of those sure or the vacuum cleaner
Let the juices get in there. Yeah. No, that's fucking. That's a deep. Come on. That's that's crossing the line. I'm aware
That's just fucking dangerous. I'm aware so much so that like we've had to prevent
Skis had to prevent the person from cooking
They'd spend years, but it's like, all right. No more
Hit the brick. That's my weakness raw chicken. I don't like how they want your chicken done. You're like, what fucking done
That's how I want it. No easy minute for the chicky
Black and blue. What do you think dickhead?
Sushi grade. Give me the fucking burn it. I fucking trust you
Put some honey mustard on that shit and put it on the grill. Let that char get after it
cooking
Let's see here. This one's for melanie
Uh, are you garbage if you burn your jet ski to the ground instead of letting them come repossess it?
Which I don't know who wins there. There's only a bunch of losers. Yeah, that's crazy. Isn't that arson?
Wouldn't there be more charges?
I you know, I don't think she's doing it in the fucking sidewalk. Jesus. They're going to uh, I don't know if she did this
This was her question
Say it was stolen. How does that work?
Not from that specific thing, but you're you're you're a man of these things
So I don't know how that would work. How do you do you Lisa's a jet ski?
Yeah, if they're coming to repossess it. Yeah, so no that means you financed it
You're making payments on a loan. I'm sure you could probably lease a job
I'm sure there's some sort of company that would lease a jet ski and turn around and sell to use jet ski
That's real trash or you're making payments on it to a bank
Either way, someone's coming to get it
Burn it you say it was stolen. I don't think you
Because you wouldn't be made full
The financial institution whether it's a lease or a bank who you lent the money would be made whole again
Toby look that up. How do you commit jet ski fraud?
First get a wetsuit. You can lease a jet ski
My move would have been just to anchor it in the middle of a lake
And just been like come and get it pussy. Uh, they'll go get it
Yeah, but they have jet skis. Yeah. How do you think they got where you think you got your jet ski?
These aren't jet skiless people
That's fair
I love how Toby's like I'm gonna get the boat guy by going out on the road
Going early fucking put it in the woods. Yeah
Send it to space do something. Yeah
Like Elon, I know
Hey to me
How are we gonna hide from these people who clearly have boats?
It is a wildly inconvenient thing unless you have a boat. I'm sure
Uh, yeah, you can lease from yamaha. You can lease from a lot of places. It seems a little vengeful beyond
Maybe there's is there some sort of jet ski circuit
We can get in and sponsor a team that'd be pretty that would be a cigarette boat racing
It'll also be pretty good too
The cartels usually tend to
I don't want to get it. I don't want to get in a fucking a toe-to-toe with the cartel
Or what I've heard those are working for those are bad ombres
Move a couple of keys down there
You hitting gravity bombs, dude
Yeah, something couple of g-bizzles
Mm-hmm
Uh, all right, let's do one more and then we'll get up out of here
Um
This one this is from james
Is it garbage if your mother keeps every small appliance in its original box?
For example, the breakfast griddling crock pot both 15 plus years old are kept in the original boxes
Yeah, that's a mom thing. It's a mom through and through. Yeah, you go to my house use it that much
It doesn't go in the regular cabinets
It usually goes in the walk in the closet in the front where the coats are the floor of the pantry
Yes, something. Yes, you can't have they can't just have the george foreman went back in the fried daddy went back in
Everything went back in the fucking box. Yeah
And as a younger kid
You ever have to go out to the garage and get the serving shit or whatever
Fucking
Talk about ruining Thanksgiving. Why the I haven't looked back just throw the turkey out. I'm not getting I look back at
How lazy I was oh, yeah as a 12 year old the groceries we talked about
I remember taking dirt back dude taking my dog out
I would be like it was it's like I remember lyin saying I did like I fucking hated the shit out of it
I'd like I did
First it was like I just had to open the garage. That's literally all I had to do
I still couldn't do it. Oh man the fucking yeah all that shit right back in the box kept at night
We had a can opener in a fucking box for a long time. Oh the automated can opener
I don't know why they didn't have the knife sharpening wheel on the back. No, it's one of those like it looks like a little
refrigerator that little one
Yeah, yeah, a lot of times there's a wheel on the back of those
Oh, maybe there was yeah, which they need my parents are all dull knives down there. Yeah, I like the dead rabbits
It's fucking bad
She needs something sharp in that shit up. Yeah trying to cut a fucking sandwich
Oh, no bueno. I just got a new set for the apartment. You did body. I'm cutting through ginsu. What'd you get?
I'm cutting through fucking every goddamn thing. Really? It's great. I finally got a pizza cutter too game
Fucking changer
That's one of those things to me because they wanted that when they we've talked about this but when they were introduced
They must have been like 20 bucks
And it was like you don't spend 20 bucks on a thing that a knife can already do like we don't need that
But now they're like four dollars and it'll be you can get like a pack of three for four bucks
It'll be at your house in 24 hours
Give me the dog haircuts with it. Yeah slice of the dice kippy scissor hands over there
Doing it nice. All right. Let's wrap it up. All right. Gotta go gang. We fucking love you love you
Come see us on the road. We'll be on a road sign up for the patreon sign up for the patreon subscribe on the youtube
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We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace