Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Joe Dombrowski!

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Joe Dombrowski! You know Mr. D from the Ellen Show, Out & About Podcast, Social Studies podcast, Let's Watch TV podcast, Tik Tok Videos, stand up comedy and so much more! Make sure to check out his new special "Don't Eat the Crayons" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! LIVE SHOWS: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Merch: https://areyougarbage.com/ Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Promo Code: Helixpartner25 This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

What's up, everybody? That stay trashy tour is rolling on coming down to the wire. Few shows left. It's a mix of stand up comedy, AYG, me and the big man co headline that we come out, close the shows out together, playing AYG with the crowd. Get your take. Yeah. The Cuba line gang are coming to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Madison was constant. Milwaukee was constant. Second minute, California, second minute, California. Again, he got to charge there. Scoop him up. San Francisco, California, San Jose, Washington, D.C. and they were closing out the year with two shows at the Fillmore in Philadelphia, the 21st of Salt Out,

get tickets for the 20th and come see the boys. You're welcome. So another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.

This is our you garbage. Oh yeah. So at little show we sit down with your favorite comedians And we find that at the good to be classy. Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash I'm a host a truly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here. It tutties in a new edition She just hit a Billy goat with the car. Okay. I don't know what that goat was doing the wall while parking lot With that one whatever my co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He's got his cool new Gene Jacket on.

Where's my camera? The cowboy over here. Give it up for the gambler. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Let it ride, baby. What's up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're right.

You subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are. Shritter-ritter- you go over there you call your little computer you go www.patrion.com Slash are you garbage check out the numbers over there. It's a gosh darn party gang. Yes, sir It happened a nice quick shout out to our producer X short and 80 old magic man Works the ones and twos the threes and the fours he crosses the tees and he dots the eyes give it up for teabon Mcscruff and Toby McMullan everybody. What up boys? What up, he bow.

If my initial feelings are correct, I think we got a real sweetie pie in the edition, right? We had yet Chicago, what do you have? We had yet Chicago, we had yet Chicago, we had yet Chicago too. I gotta tell you, it's a tall drink of water and he smells nice, I'm in. The most liberally perfumed man to ever walk in here.

I know, I just had to take a quick horse back so you could see that. Should I grab a horse? He's a liberally perfumed man to ever walk in the air. I know. Is that a take a quick horse, Betsy? It's like I'm a... And a couple clients early, one of the freshen up in the guy. Gang, we could be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guests here with us today for the first time. He's a very funny, stand-up comedian and podcaster.

He's on tour right now. He is not one but two amazing podcasts. The social studies podcast and let's watch TV. And he's got a brand new special over there on a YouTube that you got to check out. Don't eat the crayons. Give it up for Joe Dombraski, everybody. Oh my God.

Good to see you, pal. Thanks for coming. Off the rip, how do you pronounce that word at the end of your special there? Cranc. Cranc. It's messing everybody up because that's when my Michigan accent comes out.

Crans, I really get them on bedbeth and beyond. The end. I'm going down here to bedbeth and beyond. Sounds like you're going down a slide. Right, right. Huh, yeah, crans isn't good. Well, some people say crayons, pronounced the why. That's what it is.

Crayon. Crayon. I don't know. I mean, I say crayons. This is Y. That's what it is. Crayon. Crayon. I don't know. I mean, I say crowns. This is well documented, which I know is wrong. Crayons is wrong. Crayons is wrong. Crayons is being for sure.

I mean, the hate on crowns, crayon is worse to me. For sure. Now, what is that Cologne? What's that sent you to your rockin'? It is. Well, I won't say what the brand is because, you know, our equipment are myself. L'Abo? L'Abo what the brand is because, you know, I keep it to myself. Lelabo?

Lelabo? Lelabo? Sounds like you have a stroke. You don't have many. They have many different sense within there and the one I wear is the rarest. Okay. And, and you play that close to the chest.

I just say Lelabo. And then people are like, well, I'll figure it out. I'm playing. Yeah. Good try. You are. That's orange. Room cycle. That's orange. Room cycle. That get dry. You are. You are. It's orange cream circle.

It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle.

It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle.

It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle.

It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. It's orange cream circle. Detroit was a elementary school teacher for 10 years. Damn. Comedy. Really? Yeah, on the off time because I don't know if you guys know but teachers are on poor people. Yeah, that's really rolling in.

Doing spot-to-guess money, you know? Trying to make it happen. And that shit blew up. And now I'm on RU Garbage. There you go. Fucking love that, baby. What was the mom and dad brother or sister situation? Oh, child. Oh, me child. Oh was the mom and dad, brother or sister situation?

Subber? Oh, me, child. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Freak shit. All right. It was a stranger. I had a tension.

Any imaginary friends growing up? Question is how many is actually? It's like a basketball team. Like my dog, I would convince people that my my golden retriever was my brother, then they'd come over and be like, where is Marshall? Oh, oh be like, where is Marshall? Oh, oh, and then where is Marshall?

I'm like, oh, he's under the table. He's looking at his ass and his room. That's cyclopatio. And what's your mom and dad do? My dad was civil engineer for our four space. Okay. And my mom is a nurse. Okay.

We just learned it people there. Yeah, all over the place. She did everything from hospice to whatever it's called. What's up, a giant doctor? I got a ton of stuff. Oh, BGYN. Yeah, I don't BGYN. Hospice nurses, man.

I've lived in knowledge. Hospice nurses, different breed. That's a tough gig. It is. They're on point, too. They really are. She's quick. She's quick. Raise them up with their talent. They're down tough gig. It is. It is. They're on point, too. They really are. She's quick. She's quick. Break them up with their talent.

They're down a lot, Cosmic. They're down all very deep. Suffolkates him with a pillow in the wrong way. Yeah. How were the grades? Yeah. Oh, terrible. Really?

Oh, horrible. I couldn't read toes in third grade. What? What? I read to I was in third grade. Third grade changed my life. Then went to Catholic school. Never heard that sentence before. Third grade did. I went to Catholic I was in third grade third grade change my life Then went to Catholic school never that's I would to Catholic school up until third grade and I was just so dumb that they swept me under the two

I have like weeks in the coat closet for shadowing But they just didn't care about me so this threw me in there Uh-huh, then I went to public school in third grade and my teacher was like so your kid can't read Hey news flash does in a couple of things, but she was so cool because she let me like express my learning instead of just like writing Book report. She was like yeah, act it out act it out in front of everybody and I was like hell yeah And that's how I can literally literally fuckers fucking reenactin hobbit Sorry, can I get a suggestion from the class? What do you do for a living sir? I can't hobbit it. It's all right. Can I get a suggestion from the class?

What do you do for a living, sir? Stop there doing crowd work. Exactly. But I was a stand up comedian in third grade too for the talent show. My teacher was my teacher through me and she's like, give this a shot. Did you write your own material?

I stole them. Of course. Gestion at my comfort, my first. Just the old red fox. Yeah, yeah. It was crazy. But you got a magician at your first communion party? Yeah, there's parts of me that are not garbage and that's one of them.

Yeah, wait, I don't know. What are you nuts? What do you tell us? A civil engineer in the nurse, that's classy. No, what? Magician at your birthday party? No, he had a first communion party. So you think it's classy that you had a first holy communion party?

I do because I think my parents were just like, NVS of bar mitzvah. So they're like, what are we doing? Everybody had one of those. You only problem with the communion was you didn't get any gash. Like the bar mitzvah kid did. Bar mitzvah kid's made a lot of cash. Do you remember what you pulled in from that communion party?

I'm gonna say like a couple hundred for sure. I don't want to the magician. Yeah, I know. Right, right. The overnight was real eye. Yeah, for sure. Do you remember some of the bits that you stole from the magician from said magician? Yeah, I know. Right. The overnight was real. Yeah, for sure. Do you remember some of the bits that you stole from the Magist, from said, said magician? Yeah, for sure.

I said, um, who, who are out here like candy ice cream big fat spankings? I was like, uh, man, it's a crazy. That's a good, good, good, good. I remember some of it was a little racy, it was 19 or 4, so. Who like, first, who did you, right? You know, the Titanic just came out. You guys arose as titties, they were horrible. Okay.

Okay. Huh. All right. What was the house like growing up? Yeah, single family apartment, single family home, ranch, suburbs of Detroit. Okay. Big backyard that backed up to a farm.

That's our farm. Sure, but you get the view of the farm. You get the view of the farm? Where you allowed to go on to the farm property. No, right. Did we? Yes. Those farmers don't like this.

Did they tell you there was a guy with a shotgun that would shoot you? My aunt is to tell me that Chuckie was running around in the field and that would always get me to come back. The doll? Yeah, the doll. Damn. Yeah, they're the same people who will tell me

that there were sharks in the lake to get me not to swim. Like we like thrive down lies, because let's be real. I wasn't listening to the rules. Yeah, that's good Those dumb broskeys are Fishing people yeah, that's all you fucking Chuckie the devil owns that for Also is in your basement. I wanted some blueberries. I got a decaf in general Okay, all right that wasn't in the military though, right? He was in the Navy for a while. Okay.

And then he worked on a, he worked on a sub. He worked on a sub. He worked on a sub as an electrician. He was a CB. And then, like, he was a CB. He was a CB, yeah. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, he was a CB.

And they go in and they build the air strips and shit like that. I know what a CB does. No, you don't yeah So they do now we're in when they're new house too right? We have to do a bunch of electrical or I tell my fans they go I'll just call my dad and he's like oh no no no my dad was a civil engineer sure on a sub yeah He's got we do this whole house. We'll have more light switches than we need sure two torpedo tubes in the front two torpedo tubes in the front yard. Turn your key, Joe.

Turn your key. Everything's red lights. Everybody's sweaty. You're looking to the chimney. It's a periscope. The lighting sucks, but it's water proof of shit. Sure, for sure. So you're saying the grades weren't good.

No, terrible. They were terrible. Where'd you go to college? Central Michigan University and then I got my master's at Oakland University. You have your master's in what? I have my master's in elementary administration. Okay. Yeah, so I could be an elementary school principal at any given moment. Haha, right now. Yeah, they're gonna watch this fashion. Then that'll definitely not be true. Did you take the SATs? I did. I did terrible. I don't remember the number, but I remember being shocked that I got in to college with it was it over a thousand

I don't even know how they work is it dependable to how old the general men are yeah, I'm 34 Okay, so you probably took The norm now might have switched right then I think I did a CT only that makes sense Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was one of them is ACT's, I think. Didn't do great, but went to Central, which is also in the middle of a cornfield, and was surrounded by a bunch of other fuckouts. Chuck, you ran that? Yeah.

A's in beerbong, and so hey. Okay. I don't know any sports as a kid. Yeah, ribbon dancing and skip it were the preferred. You say skip it, that thing you put on your ankle? Yeah. Have you hear familiar? Almost went pro. It was really good. Olympics. Did you put on your ankle? Yeah. Have you hear familiar? Almost went pro.

It was really good. Olympics. Did you really do ribbon dancing? I mean, like in the... So here's the other thing. Recreationally. He wasn't in the Olympics, you know? Outside of being a civil engineer,

Roundembrowski was a DJ in the 90s. So he would bring out his DJ equipment and just like play it in the back yard. And I was just like fancily doing my thing to Jack James. I'm not a background. I'm not a Jack James, but I had to be the backyard because he's like, this shit ain't going in the backyard. Sure.

I don't want someone stealing my turntables. Did your dad DJ events at all? Or just like, did he do this totally communion party? Yes, he did. Of course so, he saved his money on that. Still charged it. Did you have a DJ name like Admiral Vines or something? Ronnie D?

I'm pretty good. DJ Ronnie D can get the energy off at a party. He sure could. Okay, listen to this shit, the one time with 90s. Celine Dion, my heart will come on it. Oh, go out. It was the height, right? It's being suggested because my dad was doing

a daddy daughter dance. And I went as his little DJ sidekick. And I was like, dad, I'm gonna sing it for them. And he's like, okay, here's the mic. He's like, go under the table and I'll put your mic on so they don't know where the sound is coming from. He cuts the mic. Or guy. I can't.

I think it's off. Can you hear me in the back? She got damn paid gig. I was Celine Dion. Sure. Sure. I'm sure they had a couple of questions while there was a young boy going to need to dig.

Oh, there's no questions. We, everyone was aware. Are they still in that same house you grew up in or no? Yes, they are. Without giving away the name of the street, what was it like a street avenue, terrace circle? It was a street, it was a full blown subdivision. House is on houses, the neighborhood that I grew up

and is House of Strip Maltz Church's school. Sure. That's most of America we've come to, we've come to the conclusion. Just to help people, the picture with most of America looks like that was a joke. Yeah. What was the name of the pizza place you guys would

frequent as a child? Oh, this is a hot topic. Okay. Did you like Pizzas a big deal? I love it. I never got it. There's this one pizza that I'm like runs through my veins. It's called Jets Pizza. Okay.

I talk about them publicly so much and the fact that I have not gotten even the slightest sponsorship makes my blood boil. So I've actually seen the kid is slice, right? yeah, so a buddy's pizza is my new favorite. Okay. Wait, so you flipped on jets because they're not giving you any love. That's jets pizza. It's so good. That looks pretty good. People were messaging me telling me they were doing like Harold and Kumar go to White Castle road trips to get jets. Because I talk about it. Yeah.

I put me in a commercial at the very least jets. The Troich style pizza is fantastic. I grew up in, for up until fourth grade in upstate Pennsylvania. We had something called sizzle pie, which is very similar to the Troich style pizza that just don't put the cheese around the outside. So it's like that. It's like fried a little bit because they put the oil in the pan. Yeah.

Okay. So there was no round pie. It was the oil in the pan. Yeah, okay. You gotta get that crispy crust. There was no round pie. It was all, it was all, it was all, always square, always square, always crunchy. Yeah, that's all right, man. Shout out to Jets. I'm not a ranch on pizza guy, but Jets is particularly good with ranch. You know Jets. Of course.

No, no, no, no, you go to Jets for the pizza. You come back for the ranch. It's thick as hell. Clog your arteries. It's the best, it's like Midwest, Ambrosia. Oh, they do. Is it a chain? It is a chain. Gotcha. But it's like not to smaller chain. Oh, oh, oh, I'll say I watched it go from not a chain to a chain. Gotcha. In my generation, I mean, they're doing 510 million US dollars in 2022. It's all right. Those guys are those Million 500 million in rent. I go you order the ranch by the bottle. You don't ask for a sign. Really?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's pretty trashy when they when they're putting the ranch forward. Oh, yeah, I know what I mean. It's pizza made for Duncan. Yeah. I love you. I knew you were a sweetie, but I love you. Oh my god. I love you. You ever dip your crust in soda? I'm sorry. Oh my god. I love you. You ever dip your crust in soda? I'm sorry. What? Toby cut that. Yeah, that's it. I mean, we gotta you can't just be coming up with ones like that. You got a bounce those off. I did that when I was a kid. I used to do that And I would take the cheese off and eat the cheese by itself and then eat the slice of pizza. I like to watch him squeeze I'm a french onion.

Oh, man, you get me a French onion. I love it. That's like a ball of gum. I used to love it. Crush in that monster. I chew in some hot. It's so good. So good. Huh.

Okay. What was the grocery store going up, growing up? Croger. Okay. Respectable. That's a good croger. Uh, Christmas. Always.

Big deal. Lights. Lots of lights all over the house. White. Colored. What'd you use? Col end white double? No, yeah, okay? A new school real tree always every year What were the family vacations looking like? Disney world we weren't a myrtle Beach family weren't like that

We went yeah, we went to Disney. Where is that live no fly no fraud from Michigan? That's a help Yeah, where is the normal vacation destination for the Troy family? Myrtle Beach it would be huh and everybody would drive. Yeah, everybody would drive I've never been to my middle Beach. I did do a show in like around the area and I'm like I I don't think I don't think I missed anything sure my little beaches rough. I went for spring break one here Yeah, I drove down bar. My mom's car was like four of my buddies. God damn it was rough. No shade to my little beach, but like I'm not going. Yeah, it's tough. It was like very, I remember there

was just girls flat. There was there was like a bead economy like Marty Girl type thing. Oh, yeah. So you would just go bees and just be like, you know, and come back with like a sea turtle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fucking it's be like, you know, and come back with like a sea turtle Fucking it's a good time down there. You said real tree always always even today. Okay, I Respect it. What was the high school mascot growing up an eagle. That's pretty good Yeah, and the question is was either eagle You were the mascot the eagle many the eagle many, many times. I'll tell you what, you get a good scholarship doing that shit. There's a lot of people that don't do it.

I don't know, buddy of mine ended up going to, I want to say Michigan or something like that. I'm like a full ride to be the mascot and then got a job with the rockets. I got to say that is the most dirt bags. Consist of thousands of dollars a year. That's it. Every time any dirt bags watching a football game or a basketball game and they cut to the mask Got someone goes, you know how much they make do Wanting right then I know I'm not saying it's not that is great. It's also a great way to get life actually

You had a license in high school dude. Don't like from the man's god. It was insane It was insane. You know you get your ice out Yeah, I had twice. Twice? Yeah, I had a little kid, not nice. He did it just for the mayonnaise. My, you're never gonna believe this. I got a license, give me a two to hook you.

Now I had it twice. My mom would use the comb. And just fucking rip our hair out and then buzz our hair eventually. Yeah, yeah. Which I don't know why she just skipped that step. I think she's doing it. Yeah, but it's like about Helix. Shut out the Helix, baby.

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Get it out, reach out to BetterHelp. They can actually help you. If you can't find a specialist in your area, they got you covered, man. You could do it from the privacy your own home. You don't got to wait in the doctor's office like you're getting the haircut or something like that. Yeah. I like I've said it I've for years a big proponent of a screw balls. Big proponent of talk therapy. It helps you out. You can use it for short periods of your life, job stuff, relationship stuff, family

stuff, just to get through and maybe it's the tool that you use long going forever. It's great. Talk to somebody. You go to the gym to get your muscles. Talk to someone to get your brain muscles. You know, I know. As much as you might love chatting with your friends or significant other reaching out to a train therapist is a total game changer for your mental health.

It really is. Find your bright spot this season with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash garbage a day to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-help.com slash garbage today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help H E L P dot com slash garbage. Do it gang. Okay. Got Liza's a teacher once to that really like ringworm all of it. Two with a fucking each. It's a sunny act Michigan. Yeah.

Shout out to Pontiac. We did the Crowfoot ballroom in Bonnie. Yeah. Look at you. Liza's an adult. That's a doll.iac. We did the Crowfoot ballroom in Pontiac. Hey, look at you. Lices and adult. That's a tough look. How about the pets? What was the pets?

And he birds and he snakes and he turtles. So I'm an animal lover. Right. We were at Golden Retriever family. Love it. Right. Still have a little boy back. Marsha was growing up.

He was the original. Gold Retriever family as well. Oh, okay. Well, here you go. Just so you can see this guy looks like you should be on an LL bean. He was the original. We're holding she were family as well. Oh, okay. Well, here you go. Just so you can see this guy looks like you should be on an LL bean. I turned it off. I'm real true bro.

I'm a good cat. It's a true bro. So, but then I would sneak animals in. Cause like I said, we had like a box turtle that I wasn't allowed to have that I acquired. Okay. I did have a couple snakes, lots of frogs. Are you finding these? A lot of cat pools? The most of the frogs in snakes. Yes.

I did purchase the box turtle. Where would you keep the frogs in like a fish tank? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In my bedroom. My mom would they like to. Where they like those tree frogs, like the hungry ones that would stick to the wall. Tree frog. They look big. I had a couple of frogs toad. You name. I was just really into that shit. I used to like frogs as a kid too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're cool. That's a guy trying to get in on a conversation. I also, I like frogs too, guys.

I don't know. You guys are talking about full blown weirdo. And then I worked at the Detroit Zoo as one of my side jobs while I was teaching. And really, with the amphibious. Well, were you there? I was the director of kindergarten summer camp. That's pretty cool.

That's pretty cool. Yeah, until a zookeeper took some of the kindergartners in the Python habitat, that happened. Yikes. That was cool. Great moment. Jamie up a little bit. Yeah, the worst I've ever swept was that day.

This is plainer. Plainer face and a loosen Detroit. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the Detroit zoo yikes. It's a great zoo. So you just said they were putting kids in the bike I mean not intentionally. It's just you need to drug test the key first All right refrigerator in the garage

Not us, but the neighbors all of them. Yeah, okay, all right. What was what was the first job growing up? Well, my first job I worked at a drag cleaner Really or do a drag cleaner? Yeah, strange. Yeah, in my first job, I worked at a dry cleaner. Really? Or do a dry cleaner, yeah. Strange. Yeah, I was. How old were you? It was very strange. 15.

Okay, well, you the one actually doing the dry cleaning or working the front. Yeah, they gave me like way too much responsibility. I was doing the front, the cash register. I was closing, I had a key. I'm taking that crazy off. 15 year old. Like, key to a business.

I'm taking the stuff down, giving it to him. I'm like touching base, like the two women who were like the presser and the washer Like they were just like okay, this is how you do it if forever not here Just I'm like I'm not even in a union. I could steam off my hand Man, that's some real Detroit. I ain't even in a local and you got me out here working like a scat Got no benefits. I'll have to write out here two three days. I tell you. Shit, just place down.

That's old school fucking steel. The U.A.W. does have a dry cleaning division that I should have been a part of. Family dinners at the house. Would you eat dinners at the family every night? All night, every night. My mom cooked. My mom cooked. She was doing the cooking.

She was. What's a real good dish? You get it. So my dad's Polish, that's the Dombraus. Nice. My mom's Italian, Fasano. Okay. The lasagna is where I'm point.

Got sauce. No can sauce can touch it. She still hates if I buy any sort of can sauce. Really? What are you doing? If you do do a jar of sauce, what are you going with? Uh, you got to doctor it up. You can't just take a jar of sauce.

So we will do like a, uh, usually. How do you guys say it? For the long class he doesn't know how to say it. I said rouse Not see it forever the duality of trash over here You can say something like pf. Changs It arouse you could take a of brago as long as you're like gonna like sizzle up your own meat with some of the I in season and I never thought it out at least a love for my men. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can't just take straight up jarred sauce unless it's real. Rouse. If you

made pasta at the house for you and your fiance, would you do the whole whole jarred in the whole box? I mean, we're two guys. Sure. So we're we're eating. I respect it. I respect it. Um, what was the parogi situation? Oh, it was Polish high and mighty on last the parogi Yeah, saute the onions bacon fat onions. Yeah, we'll sour cream sour cream usually a side of sour crowd Definitely some kvasa smoked and regular. Yeah, all right my book We got this up right now. Yeah, I'd be a par. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna wrap this up right now. You had me a progis, right? It was very Polska. Okay. What was, what was the first concert?

Hanson. All right, that's of the time. I can't hate all it. My parents were literally like, hmm, don't take your ribbon or your skit back. So, with the Hanson, with the neighbors, it was great. With the neighbors. With the neighbor kids. Okay. All right. All right. That was not with the neighbors with the neighbor kids. Okay. All right. All right. I mean, was it the height of Hanson?

It was the height of the mountain. I tell you what, that's not a bad dude man. It's hot. It's hot. Those good Hanson recently, they look like youth pastors. It's weird. Yeah.

Yeah. What about snacks in a room? We like to eat in your room? No. No, no, no, no, no. No. How are the snacks at the house? Do you have like cookies and candies and chips or was it a pretty tight chip?

Yeah, yeah, we were the house where the friends came to eat sugar cereal in the morning. Yeah, any cereal in the morning. I remember I looked back at this now. If I had oatmeal in the morning, there was like a side of brown sugar to go with it. Cause like, which I, let's be very old Michigan mornings.

My ADHD asked me not need any sugar Sure sure I remember being like I won't eat brown sugar because it's too healthy, which is in to that was spot I'm like give me the white shit. I don't need this health sugar. It was just always so fucked up in our house Because it was like we got one bag in like 1978. She never used it. So it was all right It was Pat yet dude. It was packed like fucking black hard tarot. Oh, it was that fucking It was like a kilo how do you get your state cooked medium rare? gentlemen on the rare side you like meatloaf love meatloaf the band Okay, I got one for you. Yeah, are you a tea pick one of the three T.J.

Friday's Apple B's are all of garden. I don't do a chain really. I don't do it. Thanks for coming by. Yeah, tell me what the special tell me turn these cameras off. I have so lot of home land security show. Yeah, I have so many friends who crave those places. I don't yeah, they're called Americans. I don't. There's something about that. There's a C.B. Comey. Beasts. Stamming the back like that. Thinking he was working on the submarine. So you can either

local joint. There's something about knowing that that soup came from a bag and was just like putting a pot. No, it's done. I just like that. You're not wrong. It did the take us. Everybody filming themselves. It has ruined it a little bit. I can remove myself from it. But you're not wrong. I do understand that. Yeah. To know like everything's just heated in a bag. Yeah, I'm so sorry.

That's my hard line. I love it. If there was a special occasion and then Nebraska's were going out to dinner, where would your mom and dad take you? Louis Chappell. Louis Chappell. See, did you drop it? Hey, hey, hey, there was only one kid.

Yeah, I agree. Oh, she got a little more bang for your boss. I'm not saying we were loaded. I'm just saying you're not only a one. I don't like that. Is that a chain, Louise Chappell? No, it's just a Detroit, Detroit. That's so awesome.

Yeah, Louise Chappell. That's good. Classy long running restaurant offering steaks, allowance with craft cocktails and live piano music, 50 years in a making looks. All right. I bet they do a baked potato boy. Your socks don't come when they watch this. I'm going to get the Louise chop house. All right. Huh. All right.

I check out this menu real quick. I did. I like had crab legs. I was probably like seven or really. Yeah, pretty good. When did you get your passport? 18. I didn't leave the country for the first time until then. Where'd you go? The first time I left Canada. Because where you go when you turn 18 19. Sure. You drink it. Yeah, it was. Yeah. Okay. Windsor. Any TV shows that you watch together as a family growing up. Any TV shows that you watch together as a family growing up

This is insane Flavor of love Really we watch flavor of love your parents watch flavor of love with me I remember Tiffany Pollard New York and the original South of New York I watch almost all of her spin off New York was a character. Oh, I'm not gonna sit here and say I didn't watch the program just didn't watch it with my parents. Oh, yeah, we were down as a family watching this happen with flavor Flav'er, Spittin and Pumpkin's face like he's iconic. I can't hold moments. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Okay. She just had it out with Amarosa. I saw that. I keep I keep I keep I get my power New York. Yeah. I'm here in Al high.

Catch him at the next New York City. Pride right everyone. I'm the grand marshal. I'm the out. It's me in New York. Okay. Hmm. If you get takeout food, will you plate the takeout food or to eat out of the container

it came in Morgan always Morgan's my fiance. I thought it was the dog. Morgan and Marshall best friend running around in the field. He'll always play it. I don't play it. I can eat it right out of there. Okay. Close it, put it in the fridge and come back to it later. He plates it. It does make it. I feel fancy when I played it. Even if it's like a slice of pizza or something, I feel a little elevated. No need to play it. I'm all about

doing less dishes. I don't know why, but I can picture you in like a three-piece suit in a McDonald's at like 2 a.m. Just like I think I need to leave now Saying stuff like I can't believe I'm here right now Are you a McDonald's Do you own a suit? Yeah, I do how many to Brain what do we got I don't know I bought about them in Australia. They look great So I got Australian my Australian tour that was incredible

They were I kept putting them on they're like you American why are you wearing it so baggy and they're like let us do this for you And I was like okay put these motherfuckers on him like god damn I haven't you do yeah You got a frame for a suit you do I'm not a cold drink of water. Yeah, let's just, I do. Can you tie a tie? Absolutely, a couple of different ways. Really? What are your go-to-nots?

Oh, can we talk about what my go-to-not is? I'm in. Do you know when guys tie the tie wrong and it's like a triangle that's like slanted? That's my, that's my not. That's my not-we do. Oh, we gotta, how you doing? Stop it.

Oh, we gotta step it up. I know, I only know the one way. I think it's called not. Yeah. So we do. We got to, hey, how you doing? Stop it. Oh, we got to step it up. I know. I only know the one way. I think it's called the Pratt and Taylor Lee. My elder part is always like a little tongue. Never goes all the way down. Or sometimes it's longer. I like the part.

And I just stick it in, I stick it in my shirt. I had this one, this one teacher that I worked with. He looked at me and he was like, that's suit. We got to learn how to tell your suits. I was like, look at your tie. First of all, do not fuck with the game man. Scorn right now on this day in this suit. Not me.

Huh. You wore suits to work? No, but like every once in a while, you'd have to like, first of all, for parent teacher conferences are open house or something special like that. Kids are getting awards that site. Do you get the eyebrows done? You get the eyebrows wax or shape? Not often, but when they get out of control. You got to take care of it. You

got to make them make them good. Mani's pettings? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's my number one thing to do on those road weekends. Take care. So much time on your hands. You going to mani your petty? You doing massage too? All three. Let's do it. I respect it. Always clear. Clear Matt. Nothing crazy. Just a clear finish. You get a it. I respect it. Always clear, clear mat. Nothing crazy. Just a clear finish. You get a finish. Maybe. AY.

I've been tempted. I've been tempted when I get my, because I got a pedicure for, uh, for a bird's crew, for bird's crews. And, uh, do you want a little color? I was going to get to paint it. But then I was like, gas, and then, then, then, then, do you want to, the clear cause like, nah, I just don't want my, you're going to have to put a set of primer on that before they paint.

Yellow Jones, you got that. Yeah, he's just crazy. Go for it. Go for it. Just tell him clear mat. If you want to get crazy, a clear mat gel will last longer. Okay. All right.

I respect it. No, no, no. Pretty classy so far. I gotta be honest with you. That's, I'm surprised. He did have a magician at his dad was a DJ. Like, did you collect anything growing up? Oh, I think I was just like a little pack rat.

So the question is, what did night collect? Beanie babies? Absolutely. We sold them on a black market. To you, a park kid. Not so much. Beanie baby's hardcore. My mom sold beanie babies out of our garage.

Really? We bought them in bulk. Like, when people were coming over to buy beanie babies out of the garage, running a little black market,anie baby situation. She makes some money off of it. Expressionally, that's how you say it when you have a stroke. Expressionally, Princess Diana being a baby, we had like, tan of them, the people were going, they were hot. Nerts, what on the topic of grooming, what what are you paying for? Who's cutting your hair?

What are you paying for? What are you tipping? I just got my haircut here in New York because you cannot get that East Coast fade and Seattle. So I needed it. He went a little short on the top, hence the hat today. And I'm a very generous temper. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Nice. Now you can do it on things that deserve the tip, right? Like I drink my coffee black at the end. So if you're going to just turn around, pour it and give it. On things that deserve the tip, right? Like I drink my coffee black at the end, so if you're gonna just turn around, pour it, and give it to me, I'm so sorry, I'm not, I'm not gonna make, but like at the clubs,

like I'm very good to the people in the room, I'm very good to the sound, like all of it. And when it comes to a haircut, if I, you're getting a tip regardless, but if I walk out and that fate is fresh, oh, I'm not even a hundred percent sometimes. How much was that cut? This is a 40-butt cut.

Okay. That's man hat and that's par for the course. This is a 40-butt cut and I loved it and I get like this fate, that's tight. Yeah, damn. I gave him a 20. Down to the bone. Yeah.

Oh, we split the check. Never. Never. Do you go out to eat with like some of your friends? You pick it up this time? Yeah, never. No, I don't like with like some of your friends? You pick it up this time? Yeah, never. No, I don't like that whole fiddle faddle at the end. I don't like, the fiddle faddle.

I don't like giving this further more work. I don't like having to settle up on Venmo after. None of that. I got it. We're the next time we're going to go out again. Trust me, all good. And then, yeah, with Morgan too, it's the same thing. One of us has got it and it's never been an issue

since our first date. Nice. Yeah. Well, you send a Venmo request to anybody. I would never send a Venmo request. Okay. I would never send a Venmo request. Like, hey, you owe me 40 bucks for that, whatever.

But if later they're like, oh, hey, can I see your Venmo just when you can settle up, I'll be like, sure. But I'm never gonna like, oh hey, can I see your Vemble just when you can settle up, I'll be like sure. But I'm never gonna like, that, that, okay? With, this is interesting. This is a gentleman. He's a gentleman. All right, with dating men,

your fiancee included in this, how do you decide in those first initial dates who's picking up the check? Well, it depends who has the stronger list, first of all. Ha! Ha! That's all right, kids quick. Ha! Ha!

I don't know, with Morgan and I I we just kind of, first of all, it couldn't have picked a better person with this crazy comedy life. He's so supportive and so great. And even with that, we always were just so even keel with each other. It's just like you, me, me, like it just doesn't matter. It was never an issue. What does Morgan do? Can we ask?

We can't. He's a big wig for a thing. Woo! Joey! He's a big wig for a thing. So when I, when I, I love that, when I, that's the classy answer. When we moved to see it at all, he was at a time where I could do it.

So I was like, let's go. You conquer your dreams. I'll live forever. I can do it. That's pretty good. There's a lot of bizz out there in Seattle. I like it very proud. He killed it He killed it. He's doing great. What are you guys living that even apartment or a house? We live in a house. We do you guys own it or you're renting it. We own it all right here. We go nice Join I come over Yeah, you can.

Is Morgan packing? What are we talking about? What's the heat situation? He got a pool. You have a pool? We don't have a pool. No pools. Big out there.

I don't know. Like some regionally it doesn't say no. No, no, no, no, no. Hot tub. Hot tub. No hot tub. Morgan would love a hot tub. I think hot tub's their people soup. It hot tub. Morgan would love a hot tub. I think hot tubs are people's soup.

Sure. It's a good way to put it. Yeah. All right, King size bed at the house? Yes, absolutely. How many pillows on the bed? There is about, oh shit. Hmm, 10.

10 pillows. Yeah, probably. They think it's taking off when you guys go to bed at night? I use all my five. You do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, break that down. I use all my five.

So I do two behind my head, one between my legs. I'm hugging one. So I love it now. That's five. You do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, break that down. I use all my five. So I do two behind my head, one between my legs. I'm hug and one. Love it now. That's five. Yeah, I love it. That's the way I sleep, too. Yeah, yeah.

Are you sleeping away or are you sleeping in? Oh, this is the other thing, too. We, more going to and I have, we are like, sleep is important. Get your own fucking space. Okay. Like, do your thing on your side and stay there. I respect it. TV, arm when you go to bed? No TV in the bedroom. No TV in the, are you reading it? Okay, like do your thing on your side and stay there. I respect it.

TV arm when you go to bed. No TV in the bedroom. No TV and are you reading it? These are learning people. That listen. He's the guy who's got a job he can't talk about. He's watching TV. If I had it my way, we'd have two TVs in there.

More than is not letting it have. He's a cutthroat businessman. He's not having it. He can't be watching the prices right going to bed. He's not having it. He can't be watching the prices right going to bed. He's not having it. There's no TV allowed, so I will just like flip on my iPad and watch something, put my headphones in. Or read, or read, I read a lot of comedy stuff.

Really, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Morgan a reader too? He is, yeah. So did you guys sit in bed before you go to bed or read? No, never really like that. Usually like one of us might like pick up a book for a couple of weeks, but mainly we're just watching shit, our own shit.

You shower at night or shower in the morning? Oh, a shower frequently. So sometimes both, but always at night. I was, always at night. Always at night. And it's like I'm gonna do another one of the morning. I was like, I'm not gonna go out somewhere and not shower in the morning,

but if I'm home Monday through Wednesday before I go on the road, those days, I'll only shower at night. Go on them on the road, up, do it, get it going. Gotcha, yeah. Okay. You know how, does it gotta keep your routine going? I'm with the baby, I'm with it.

Speaking of routine, any face moisturizer, serums, anything like that? All of them, the whole schmiery. Yeah, yeah, the under eye patches, the caffeinated rubs all of it I'm not gonna age like cottage cheese. I know teaching alone. I'll do that. I felt that I felt like that was a Attack at me when you looked at me. No, I'm not gonna age like cottage cheese I can feel the bags under my eyes growing

Like Kevin Brechtone's over here. One year of teaching will age you so fast You'll go in you'll look like a fresh face 22 year old you and then you walk out That same year looking like a star pay that cross bread with a melted candle. It's terrible. Can't look something about aura Shout out to aura baby if you're missing family and friends We got the cure and it's called aura boom put that in the bank. Yeah, there you go gang with free unlimited storage You can send as many photos to the frame as you want and allow an unlimited number of people to send their pictures to you. So you got the frame. All right, we got ours on the, where what's called you cook the countertop. Okay. All right. Got it in the oven.

Her family and Hawaii uploads pictures of the kids. They come in fresh. All of yours a little guy. Yeah, you get to stay connected. they're fantastic. Paddy's got one, we got one, everybody's got one. Send us like 40 of them. Set my mom a dick pic last week. Yeah, that was an awkward call. From now on through Black Friday and Cyber Monday, Aura is offering their best deal of the year. Listeners can save on the perfect gift

by visiting auraframes.com slash garbage. That's auraframes, a-u-r-a, frames.com slash garbage and That's aura frames a you are a frames.com slash garbage and use promo code garbage to get $40 off their best selling frames, terms and conditions apply. Oh, it game. What about, um, have you guys had any weddings recently? We're about to have our own. Of course. Yeah, yeah, we're getting married this summer. Congratulations. Any guests at any weddings recently? Uh, we have, we like, we've been, yes, if're getting married this summer. Congratulations. Any guests at any weddings recently? We have, like, we've been. Yes. You guys go into weddings.

We didn't hire a lot of weddings. You do. Yeah, because we, uh, so Morgan's, uh, uh, Southern guy. I'm from Michigan. So we're really far away. So a lot of travel on the road every week. And so it's, we don't get to go. Do you send a gift in your absence?

It depends who it is. Love that. It depends. I send in cash. Or you send a gift in your absence? It depends who it is. Love that. It depends who it is. Are you sending cash or do you guys get a nice gift? Again, it depends who it is. Yeah, if it's some of those are really important to us, we'll probably figure out something unique and special that they like and get that to Morgan

and his entire family. The most thoughtful gift to give us, it's insane. His mom got me a Christmas present before. I'm super into pottery. She went out and found this one specific pottery place. You're like, also not chalked. You're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, but she found this specific artist

and got this limit edition thing that they should. They only put out on their email blast. Damn. And then got it and I opened it for Christmas and I was like, the amount of time that she listened to me talk about this once, kept it in the back of her head. Praise me. And Morgan's the same way they're the most kindest people.

These guys are on point. I like it. How do you feel about the rotisserie chicken? Morgan's obsessed. There's always one in the fridge. I can't do it anymore because he's a creature of habit. We're constantly got the rotisserie chicken. But now I'm accepting his differences

and figuring out recipes rather than just having rotisserie chicken. You've heard it into a lot. You cook at the house a lot? Oh yeah, all the time, both of us. Like one of the first weeks we met, we cooked together. It was nice. Can I just say congratulations?

This Morgan sounds like real trouble. That's how you, he's perfect. And something else, he's hot as fuck. It's insane. I'm gonna need to see a picture. Just say, when I turn my phone, I'll show you our dog and my Mario. Save the dog.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, let me write that back. Let me see, let me see that Morgan in your. He's good at everything and he's so good looking next to him. I'm just like, I'm just his tall troll. Okay, it's great. Has the furniture at the house? High-end stuff? West Elm?

It's very restoration hardware. Very, very. All right, just expensive. It's very that it looks good. How about the cookery? You got the La Cruçal, whatever it's called. Couple pieces. You do.

What color would it call? But it's because it's a cook. Oh, it's called. Couple pieces. You do. What color would it be? It's because, it's because I cook it. I cook it in a lot. Sure. I do a lot of sauces in there. I do a lot of like raised things. And I really appreciate the quality of that. That's good stuff.

So I got a red one and a blue one. Shout out to Chris. But say I'm working for like this big round white one. So I could do a whole chicken like Dutch oven style type. It's nice. Where you shopping? Where you're close shopping? What's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's got, what's got, what's, what's got, what's, what's, what's got, what's got, what's, what's like a whole chicken like Dutch oven style type. Nice. Where are you shopping? Where are you clothes shopping? What's that, what's that, what's that, what's that,

what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that, what's that a little local joint, but this love it. But most of the shit I buy is a targeted ad. No kidding. Yeah, I don't even. You a scotch and soda guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

I know. They put their fucking, that's also not targeted. I had to think of famous store for like 20 year, they'll target you. Oh, I thought you were asking about the drink. I was like, two bullies on the fritz bro. Straight, straight, straight person. Yeah. I was talking to Guns and Roses T-shirt, though we doesn't know what it is. eight straight person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not a guns and roses t shirt. Do you know what it is? The thing I don't like about scotchessos, they put fucking colon on all their clothes. So it's in and never comes out. Now it's not good. I have a shirt there from like five years ago. It's still smells like a friend. You're smells like Joe every time I put it on.

You're a welcome, mother fucker. What kind of car are you whipping around in, Joe? Nothing crazy. I, okay, first of all, from Detroit, and yeah, but it's you. We, I cannot drive a foreign car being from Detroit. It's like, I respect what it's like. The Dick 3D and Morgan keeps pushing the limits and I'm like absolutely not for their bust and I will drive a car till it's done. Okay.

2017 Ford Escape. Nothing crazy. Okay. It's got some dings. It's got some nicks. It needs some help, but it's moving and I just don't fucking care. Does he have a car? He does. What's he weapon? A fun one. It's a fun car. Sure. Yeah, a fun car. It's just a Mustang.

It's all right. All right. Hey. It's Ford. We're Ford on Ford for sure. And you see Pat machines at the house? Oh god damn, I couldn't do it. Do I have sleep apnea for sure?

I'll choke him. I sleep on the rag. But you can't, who's can sleep in it? He does. I love him. I couldn't even get through the trial. And I took it back and said, you can all fuck yourself.

I can't even sleep. I got a garlic on. I'm just having a great one. The nose or the whole face? Nose. Really? Yeah, nose. And your mustache doesn't interfere with that.

It's really soft. I actually, I love the sound of it. It puts me right to sleep. I think I'm sleeping on a spaceship. And you can sleep on your back now, totally fine. I sleep on my side. Even with it on. Yeah, like what about the side of your head?

Doesn't it get... Atlele, I don't know what everybody's talking about. It's super comfy. Mine's super flexible. It's, there's no really hard plastic. I can't sleep on my face. He can also put up with a lot. His discomfort level is higher, higher tolerance

than most people. I'm sitting on a nail right now. Yeah. Ben there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I couldn't do it. Okay. All right. Have you ever skied in jeans?

No. Can you ski? Yes. Can you surf? No. Do you own skis? No. Have you ever? Yes. Can you surf? No. Do you own skis? No.

Have you ever snowboarded? Uh, yeah. Too straight. Okay. If you were with somebody and they had a booger or bad breath, would you give them a heads up? Uh, politely when we're by ourselves. Not bad breath, probably, though.

Really? Yeah, that, that I might just like put gum in and like see if they ask. Sure. But like a boge, for sure, I'd be like, yeah, one of the bad and the cave. They keep the box of things. Like if you get a new iPhone. God, I'm a box hoarder.

It's just recently I broke that habit of like all Apple product boxes. You can like go up there. Well, they make them to feel like it's better than the price. I got a part of it. You get it in Z even better. The suction, like the, do you remember when the bag that they used to give it in was actually like a Drawstring backpack pretty much. Yeah, I used to hate those drawstring. That was that was younger generations Those backpack sucked with just the strings and they started for like sports the knapsack. Yeah, yeah, the drawstring thing

I never had one. Okay. Uh, have you been to a TJ Maxx in the last 30 days? I have not. Okay. Will you go to one? If they target me on Instagram probably. Okay. All right. In the shower, are you peeing in the shower?

Um, not often, but sometimes it has to happen. Press your teeth in there? No. Electric toothbrush, regular toothbrush. Electric. Flossing every day? How many times? Three, four, every time after I eat.

Yeah, okay. My dad just straight up says, I'm the poster child for flossing. Braces when you were a kid? Yes. Nice. Okay. Big old gap in between those two fronties.

What is the toothpaste? Crest, 3D whitening. Uh-huh. Arctic mint. When you get the burger at a Mexican restaurant, probably. Okay. It's good to know. Probably future dating purposes.

Probably kids are thinking, well, Morgan, don't work out. So pretty seriously. So pretty serious with you and your husband who you own house with. I always say that the burger at a Mexican restaurant is a very underrated item on their menu, which is usually unbelievable. Got a couple of jalapenos on it. It's nice. I respect that.

What kind of soap are you using in the shower? Dr. Squatch, coconut, something. Very nice. You take that on the road with you? God, yes, absolutely. You do. See, I hate, I'm on the road so much that if I don't have my products,

it's just my body will freak out. Well, I don't take my face stuff, like my own face wash, or I'll run it out like three days later, I'm like, I have to have it. Sometimes when you get when you're in a hotel, they have the dispenser of the body wash. I'll use it. You'll use that.

I will, I'll use it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you ever take a bath at a hotel? Yeah, really? Yeah, that's gross. Yeah, you wouldn't do it. Talk about human super. I shower my jeans in a hotel. You're nuts. I feel I feel like that. You know, there's a jacuzzi. That's even gross. That's more soupy than what he did. We recently run the road. Me? Yeah, they had the the the Spencer in there He never any shampoo. He just rinsed off for like three days. Yeah, didn't use any soap straight up I shower twice a day. Okay, but ones just a rinse

No, they were all rinse they were all just rinses. Oh God. It's a shower not a car wash It's great Rinse Any vacations you and Morgan go together? Yes when we can and he'll come to the cool cities that I go to. Gotcha. Yeah, what was the last nice vacation you guys went on? Like just vacation or like there was a show at vacation? Vacation.

Which doesn't happen a lot for common. Here we go. Oh, I'm guessing. That's crazy. Two hot guys, Topless and Barcelona. Oh no, I'm your Topless, but that's the vacation I'm taking right now. Couple of champagne coolies. Oh, man, zip it around on a Thespoth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't wait to go back shit. Nice. You probably wear linen well, don't you? I do. Yeah, you guys know. You know what I know. I can tell, I can tell. I always wish I was a linen guy.

Morgan, linen pants and like a nice, nice shirt. You guys go out to dinner. Oh, Morgan, let's get pants and like a nice knit shirt. You guys go out to dinner. Oh, Mark, let's get hot and be gated. It's crazy that you're not the hot one. I know. Literally wait till I show you the picture. It's you could be like,

what do you think I keep bringing it up, Joe? The hell is it? The fucking blue ball in me over here. And I wish I could pull off linen. I look like Captain Rinkles. It's a big dude. Reporting for duty, sir. Your shirt's all kind of half tucked.

So bad. Well, you tuck in a shirt with like a nice pair of, no, you're going to do a nice pair of slacks tucked in shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm usually going to do like a nice fitted t-shirt tucked in with a pair of jeans and possibly a blazer. Nice. Yeah. Any baking soda in the fridge at the house? Yeah, absolutely. Good. he sure tucked in with a pair of jeans and possibly a blazer. It's crazy.

Yeah. Any baking soda in the fridge at the house? Yeah, absolutely. Good, and the freezer too? No, not in the freezer, but we did recently by my new favorite thing. Can I guess? Please. Reverse osmosis water system.

No, but I have very specific guests. No, no. That's very nuclear accelerator. No, no. Is it an appliance? It is. Air fryer. No, no, no, no. That's not what we were accelerating. No, no, is it an appliance? It is. Air fryer. No, but you're not an air fryer guy. Air frires are for people who can't cook.

How you doing? Joe, welcome to the show. Thank you. Deep freezer. And we bought a quarter cow. A lot of people are doing that. We bought a quarter cow and we went on a Jesus Christ. Now as I say this shit, I'm like,

you would grass finish. Grass fed, grass fed, grass fed, grass fed, grass fed, it's organic. But we bought it because we went on a, we're actually really big fisherman, we love to fish. Okay. Why fresh water salt water, what are you doing? The end, all of it.

We need to wash the board. We make trips to do it. So we went to Cuyuget, British Columbia. It's like a really remote part of BC and Went on this three day fishing trip and came back with our share of salmon and there was we it was like almost 200 pounds of salmon halibut and Ling cod She's had to get a deep freezer

You guys caught this yourself wait till I show you the picture. How'd you get it back? You guys caught this yourself wait till I show you the picture. How'd you get it back? I don't want to see a fucking picture before I see your fucking hot hunk of a man. Wait, you caught fresh wild salmon. Yeah, yeah, man That's probably so you work for butcher mocks by any chance But yeah, no, we did it was great and then you stay there they take your fish They clean it they put it in flays. They deep freeze it before you go give it to you, plain ready. So okay. You guys are like every hack joke about gay couples that are like, like we can just go fish and blow each other man. Like we, you want to be like serious about this, we're planning the wedding right now. And one of my things was is like, oh, I'm literally, I came on this podcast, I was like, no, I think I am, just garbage.

I don't think I am. Oh, no. We I wanted a string court. You're wearing perfume right now. I mean, you're not garbage. I mean, that's not a shot, but like, you have a set. Okay. It's amazing, by the way.

Yeah, which I can't even really think straight. I'm slipping off my seat over here, ready to give you a jump. Been you throw a fish amazing by the way. Yeah, which I can't even really think straight. I'm slipping off my seat over here, ready to give you a jump. Then you throw a fish in into the mix. I wanted a string quartet at the cocktail party before the wedding. That's nice. But I wanted them to play 90s rap and hip hop

in classical versions. That's fun, like Richard Bob. As you've seen Bridgerton, that's the music in the background. It's Ariana Grande, salt and pepper, this and that. Did a little research, hopped on the phone with this composer and I was like, listen, can you do a poster?

A poster, a poster. I mean, listen, listen, listen. I go, can you do this? I don't know. I kind of wanted to be like Bridgerton if you've ever heard of it and he goes, yeah, I wrote the music. I was like, you're hired.

Damn. We have the guy from the beach show. It's pretty good. Kind of crazy, right? That's wild. The owner George Foreman grill. No, I was kidding Totally I want a big club whatever you say jump Do you have any colds cash currently? No, okay? I ever put your napkin over your shirt, but I love cold. Okay, but I do look

I just don't like I it would be like do you want to know? I know yeah Put a napkin over your shirt. We need no, okay? Good if you ever smoked a black and mild. Yes, okay. How do you hold a fork? Correctly You fucking loser Toby eats everything with a spoon Man, bozo T-bone. I hope that camera caught the pink mist out of the back of your head No, I owe my four grade two. I just curious. I don't know if you do. I've seen you. I like that

No, no, no, no, no, I do it like this with the finger up top and then it goes right hand knife left Hand fork right to the mouth come on do you eat with the fork upside down Joe? Sometimes I don't think I have a preference, but sometimes a steak Chars yeah, maybe put a little mashed potato on it like no mashed potatoes. This is where I will lose fans and followers That's like my cr I can't why I don't know those right to your hips What I love potatoes cook them any other way out Eat it. Oh, you just don't like man. No people like the texture. No, it's just like the dish I can't I can't do it. We were so close to being perfect

I know I know you could have told me how to fish Got some of that quarter cow now did you and your fiance learn Could have got some of that quarter cow. Now did you and your fiance learn? Were both of you just randomly fishermen? Or would you get something you one of you brought the other? Or you both got in? Fly fish is not something you just pick up. That's a skill.

Our fourth date we went ice fishing in Houghton Lake in Michigan. Jesus. We just did it. We went. But was that the first time were you both fishermen or no? Yes. You both just just we were like Maybe you're something I like to do. Oh my god me too. I go I'm going ice fishing this week. Do you want it? Yes? Wow?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's nuts. Yep. How many can even get my wife to watch science? You found another gay off fisherman like that honestly diamond in the rough Shhh, yeah, how many times will you use a towel at the house, like after a shower? Hmm, three, four. Okay. That's crazy. We looked it up. That's the exact time.

Is it really? Yeah. That's about, yeah, three, three, four, four, four, four. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If there's any scent that like, reminisces human, it's out. Okay. Yeah. Where do you hang that towel?

Is it go over the door, over the back of the door? We need to redo our bathroom. So we just it's really tight. So if you just used it, it goes on the rack and then the whoever was on the rack and is now dry hangs over the door. So that when you get in, you know yours is on the door. Okay. Okay. We got a system. There's a lot of systems in our house. I'm sure. Fabrics off in our house?

Not for me, Morgan does. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I don't like what it does in our house. Sure. Fabric softener in the house? Not for me, Morgan does, yes. Okay. Yeah, I don't like what it does to the feel. Okay. So what do you use? I don't use the ball. I can't touch a microfiber cloth. Like that feel is like, I can't touch cotton balls.

Same thing. That's your blood run. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what are you doing in the dryer? Just bear it. Bear back in it, yeah. What kind of a laundry detergent? This is where Morgan and I differ.

Seattle creeped into my brain, so I have to use like the dehydrated detergent sheets. Okay, no plastic bottle. Sure. And Morgan can't get off liquid detergent. Long. Does he use the good stuff though? Or is he using like tide?

I've been pretty sure it's tide. Really? Yeah. He's an every man. Okay. Can you play acoustic guitar? No. Okay.

We had to use chopsticks? Yes. How do you feel about the funnion? Obsessed. Okay. We're back on. What do you call the remote? The remote.

Okay. Everywhere I call it context. Like in Halloween. That's a colored context. Like in for Halloween. That's a pretty high in Halloween. Yeah, it's a classy answer. I'll show you the picture. Well, this year nobody, because I was on tour and the specials coming out. Okay.

I went as Miss Frizzle one year. That's pretty good. Who's Miss Frizzle? To say that's pretty good as an understatement. It was fucking a really bad. He doesn't know. I had my costume made. Jesus.

You look, you're gonna look at it and be like, I'd fuck Miss Frizzle, like it's great. I always kinda wanted to. Yeah. And the Magic School Bus. I don't know that. The Magic School Bus? The late Tomlin, the voice of Miss Frizzle

and the Magic School Bus, yeah. Oh, it was a cartoon. It was a cartoon. That was your guys' shit. Yeah. I was watching a lecture company. Nobody was your guys is shit. Yeah, I was watching Electro company Nobody like to company. No, I'm gonna go fuck myself. Oh, huh. Yo binoculars. Yes, and a spotting scope What's that for so we to spot honks?

You can see the Puget sound from our living room right Right, so we look, it's, we do whale watching from our living room. Whoa. Yeah. I mean, this fucking guy, that's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Telescope? We don't have a telescope, but Morgan's gonna die when he hears that. Why?

Because he just loves, he has this image, I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. With friends about telescopes, they love them. So we use our spotting scope, because you can actually look at the moon with it too. It's pretty cool, isn't it? I believe so. The prize sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not.

I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not.

I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not.

I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. I'm sure I'm not. Hot tub never never That's a good words in your house. Maybe that's what's wrong with my eyes Ever been to a monster truck rally. I have yeah, I knew that about you I have I have yes, especially as a a young type growing up in Michigan. What's the man a situation at the house? No preference, but it's what's the yellow-litid one?

Helmonds? No. Dooks? No. Dooks, yes. Okay. You're not using a miracle whip. No miracle whip. Aren't they like dooks and helmonds are like, no, helmonds and then it's best something.

Helmonds, dooks and America's best or whatever it is or America's best. I think they're all the same. Either way, that's the classy. The bad one is the miracle whip. That's when you're trash. No, no, yeah, but Duke's and Helmins are different companies.

Okay, I got you, noted, noted. We eat over the sink? Yes. When you guys are having dinner together, is it always at the table where you sit in front of the TV downstairs watching on the couch? We will sit at the table with no TVs on.

No kidding. Something that I don't do that I think you'll find interesting Morgan got me up on this shit. Microwaves are plates before we eat. Whoa, what? He wants a bun. He needed plates. He wants a bun.

Microwaves are plates before we eat. Shit, this guy's like, catch. And he have to wet it or they just get hot. No, they just get hot. This guy wore a flannel shirt to like go under cover for the show. Yeah, I'm straight passing.

No, even if we have friends over too, everyone's getting a heated plate. No shit. And a cold one for your salad, yeah. Whoa. That's some shit he got me on, yeah. Doing a salad course? Yikes.

Long way from Jets, baby. Yeah. I like it. I still throw down some Jets. You would too. Of course. How do you feel about the Coney Island dog? Lafayette or American is the question.

Lafayette Coney Island always close now because it's good. The trick thing Detroit's freaking out. Oh, okay. It was the most disgusting place you've ever been in your life, but the most amazing sensation in your mouth. And oh, it's the best. They're rivals right next to each other.

Gotcha. Like touching. Got like, Pat's and Geno's in Philly. The, it's the best. They're rivals right next to each other, like touching. Got it. Like, Pat's and Geno's in Philly, the touching. Yeah. No, they had the right touch too. I mean, literally not touching, but like as they're both on points, they face each other. Yeah, they're right next to each other.

20 feet into the door to American. You're next to the door. Damn. Too. Lafayette. It's nuts. Ever been kicked out of a restaurant? Never. Never. Will you leave a bad Yelp review?

Depends what happened. That's a yes. Yes. Yeah, it's a yeah, but it's very viciously written. To whom it may concern. Yeah. You sold it, you served me a lukewarm plate. Dear Coney Island dogs.

I don't think that I've ever written a bad, Yelp review, but I have called to give my two cents, but it was severe. Okay, I get it. You go out to eat. You guys get a bottle of sparkling still, or you get tap water. Oh tap, no preference.

Okay, I don't need to go crazy. Okay, well you asked to change the table in a restaurant. No, never, no, no, never, never, never. Unless maybe like a guest is joining us and we weren't expecting, I'll ask it if we're gonna accommodate, but no, no, no. I finally got to conference, it's a New York thing too, because especially in the winter,

you don't wanna be by the door. Right by the door, I feel you. I'm sitting here eating in a park, I will go like, can we, you know, is there another deal? Yeah, we have one season in Seattle and there's no air conditioning anywhere because you don't need it, so, no. You, is there another deal? Yeah, we have one season in Seattle and there's no air conditioning anywhere because you don't need it. So, you know, you guys keep the butter on the counter,

you keep it in the fridge. Both. I knew that was the fucking answer. I knew you can't bake with warm, sometimes, and you need cold. What's the salt, Himalayan? So if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, we do,

we have a dash of calc, but have you ever read the book Salt Fat, acid heat? Yeah, I mean, no, but I know what you're talking about. It'll change your cooking life. So non iodine salt, it's in a thing outside. We salt liberally. It's a good situation. Have you ever done gelato with olive oil in the salt at the house?

No, but I wouldn't put it past more. I mean, that's a great poll. That was a good one. That's the classiest thing I think I ever came out at the house. No, but I wouldn't put it past Mark. I'm mad to be honest, a great pull. That was a good one. That's the classiest thing I think I've ever came out of your mouth. I'm good for one or two of you. Where you close to your grandparents? All grandparents gone except for one the year I was born, the one that was left was past when I was probably in sixth grade.

So only a childhood relation. What did you call them? Judge Okay, there we go grandpa was gone. There was Papa who is the Italian and then grandma. Okay. It's not that I mean Who's judge? Judge was my dad's dad Polish. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'll give you that All right, that's not even trashy. Man, this, I'll give you that. All right. That's not even trashy. Man, this kid is a hell of a proof. Have you ever had a Mike's hard lemonade?

Absolutely. Fireball? Absolutely. Recently? Yes. What are you drinking when I go out? Yeah, you're going out. Not like a dinner.

Like, wow, we're going to meet at this regular bar for drinks. I've learned the hard way, so I will go for like, an extremely light beer, so I can continue drinking for longer. Pro-mo. But if I'm just going out for a few, I'll do, like a Manhattan. I like a Manhattan myself. A Manhattan, sometimes a black Manhattan.

What's a black Manhattan? What's this liquor that's made with like, artichoke? It's like a black liquor thatice made from artichoke. I forget the name, that's not Negroni. Shambuca? Not Sam, it's not like this, what you guys, this round. Black car hair with.

Dingo. It's made with that and it's just got a little juzzing in it. It's good. Try it, black manhattan. Okay, I love a manhattan. What a, okay. You going up? You going on a rocks with that.

So now let's talk Martinez to. Martinez for me, I'm not doing a martini glass, that's the stupidest invention that ever happened. You have to be seated to have that. And then it's not even great. The best vodka in the world is blue shark vodka that make it in Wilmington, North Carolina. You can't get it many places.

If I have the perfect cocktail, it's gonna be a dirty martini made with blue shark vodka on the rocks, no fancy glass. Blue cheese olive. Really? Yeah. Slightly, slightly dirty. Wave the vermouth over the glass.

Okay. Yeah. It's pretty good, man. Amaro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, yes. I don't know it. Yes.

Dude, what's the last time you had fast food? Do you eat anything like that? I don't really get in a fast food. It's real. Yeah, it fucks me up. Whoa. Okay. Wait, okay, okay, okay.

Do you consider Jimmy John's fast food? Jimmy. No. No, it's a sandwich. Yeah, okay. But chat out to them. Yeah, yeah. Like a Jimmy John's.

Any turquoise jewelry? No. Wait, have you ever gotten that? But honestly, that was a hate crime. What? Have you ever heard of that? That's really funny. Have you ever gotten the day old bread from Jimmy Jones?

Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, you make croutons with it. Really? Yeah. You go to Jimmy Jones and get the day old bread. They'll all go there. But if I happen to be there and they have the day old bread and I know I'm serving that night, I'll make croutons out of that bread.

I mean, we got a rap just that's fucking nuts. Classy. It's taking garbage. Turn it into fucking croutons. Wait, you're saying that's trashy? Oh, that's classy. It's I was going to see serving that evening. He's having guests over with the chill, but the chill fucking plates and the hot plate. We wouldn't get past the front door at that joint. You would. We'd family absolutely

tossed. Tony, ever see you? UFO? Yes. And recently twice hit me. So we did discover what it was. But the second time that anyone's ever said, yes. With my, I was with my future mother-in-law, and we were in North Carolina on the beach, and we saw this string. No, the first time it happened, we were on my porch. We saw this string of lights uniformly spaced out. We were freaking out, we're like, oh my God, oh my God, they're here.

Everybody saw it, we're like, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. When I came down, I was like, okay, if that was as intense as it was, other people saw it and it's definitely Googleable by now. I looked it up and it was actually just like the star link that Elon Musk wanted to are. He's been getting a lot of people with that goddamn thing for real.

Once he turned it on, by the way. So when we saw it a second time, same looking thing, and then we convinced my future sister and law that it was aliens. We're like, oh my God, what is that? It's crazy. That is so right. All right, then if I, oh my God, it's so perfect

and crazy right over the ocean. What's the crazy thing? Plane critics of a sister wire respected. The whole family, they're, ugh, I'm coming into a amazing family. That's good. Yeah, before you, man. It's fucking awesome. I mean this guy's fucking all class

Yeah, you probably the classiest one of the classiest people we've ever had on the show 100% down the line. Yeah, what are you talking about? Oh my god. You've had some zingers on him shot right now That's why like I said you have a scent that you won't tell us what it is You're playing defense on your smell. And an instead of mysterious fiancee, who warms up the plates in the microwave. You're putting ranch on pizza, but it's famous ranch. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, we got you. No, all class, baby. You're all class, baby. Thank you. Congratulations. Congratulations on the special. Thank you. Don't eat the crans out on YouTube right now.

Joe Numbraski. Check it out on tour. Anything else you want to folks are dead and no, watch it. Like it. Comment. Do the whole thing. It's on YouTube. I don't know. The army of garbage came to fucking comment. That's why I would love that. I would love that. Thank you guys. Man, this was a fun one. Kippy. What do you got for him? Guys, we're all over the road. Tours winding down in Philly. Two shows at the film or that's a, like, maybe 200 tickets left to the second show. Let's go scoop them up. Get those fucking tickets, it's gonna sell out.

Don't make me look bad in front of Patty. Thank bitch and at me. Thank you so much for everything, guys. Gang, we love you, Joe. We love you. Congratulations. Thank you. We'll see you next week. Peace.

case.