Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Joe Gatto!

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Joe Gatto! You know Joe from Impractical Jokers, This Past Weekend, Taste Buds, Whiskey Ginger, Two Cool Moms, Not Today, Pal, Hey Babe!, and his new comedy special "Messing With People" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast. Come to a Live Show! AYG & Friends 10/1: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code AYG. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).   21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hold on there, gang. New York City, New York, do yourself a favor. Come out to the Gramercy Theatre October 1st for the second edition of the AYG and Friends show. We had such a great time there in September. Come out and see the gang. Yeah, we've invited some of our favorite and your favorite guests and friends to come answer your garbage questions. The Gramercy Theatre 10-1, all tickets available at areugarbage.com. Do it. Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage.

The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah. So a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they grow to be classy. Yeah, just a big old piece of trash garbage.

I'm your host a trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She just bought an alligator. Oh, wow. Good for her. That's okay. Don't just keeping it in your room. My ghost is coming at you right next to me. Slightly amused this week. He is the CEO of RU Garbage.

He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage. Go over there and get all that bonus content, gang. Yes, sir. And gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very

funny, very successful stand-up comedian, producer, author, and podcaster. And you might have seen him in, but not limited to got the view you got Rachel Ray you got Good Morning America Last Call with Carson Daly Conan this past weekend at Today Show Late Night with Seth Meyers the hundred thousand dollar pyramid the Kelly Clarkson show the Misery Index fifty episodes of that taste buds twelve monkeys MacGyver clerks three he is also one of the founding members of the worldwide sensation the juggernaut,

that is the impractical jokers. He's out on his own, doing his own thing, like a young Sammy Hagar. Looking into the streets. He's got an amazing podcast you can listen to every week, Two Cool Moms. He also has Joe Gatto, Gatto Pups and Friends. It's a senior dog rescue out there on Long Island.

The guy's a goddamn philanthropist damn hero He's got a brand new children's book out right now. Where's Barry and that's out on Pegwin Random House That's a top shelf operation over there. That ain't self-published dog. Uh-uh. He's gone tour right now You can get tickets at Joe goto official comm and he's got a brand new special Out right now on YouTube messing with people give Give it up for the one, the only Joe Goddard. I'm exhausted by that list. I'm just exhausted. I'm busy. I don't work. Oh, congrats on the on the children's book.

Thank you. Yeah. Where's Barry, man? I'm super excited about that. It's fun. It was fun to do a kids book. I love it. That's so I already self-published one. I did. I did. I did. The Dogfather. My love of dessert desserts and growing up Italian. That was self-published, Amazon, you could get that one. But that was all like, yeah. I made an offer they couldn't finish.

There's definitely some typos in that one. This is my dog. Oh, like dog, D.G.O. Damn, I'll go back to the fall. Nobody will catch it. That's funny and congrats on the special. Messing with people. 800 pound gorilla? Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. I loved it. It was really fun to do. It's hard, you know, because when you tour for,

I toured for two, a little bit over two years with that hour and then when it's over, you're not like, you don't want to just throw it away. Sure. So to have the opportunity to make a special was really. That's awesome. And he brought us cookies. Nice guy. Brought gifts. Yeah, you don't come to a...

It was punctual. He brought gifts. What more do you need? He took the first cookie. You know, I want people to be shy. Some people are like, oh, you know, oh, we'll get them later. And I tried to put them in the kitchen. He's like, what are you doing? Bring those over here. We got things to do. We got something to talk about. You're also one of those dudes that I, we just met you for the first time, not too long ago. Obviously we have a lot of mutual friends, but we had never crossed paths. And then I'm standing outside the comedy club and he turns the corner, he goes, I'm parking now.

And then he turns the corner with you, like your old high school buddies. He's like, ah, you guys got each other in headlocks, give each other noogies. I'm like, I just talked to you at 35 seconds, where the hell'd you meet Joe Gatto? Just one of the best. One of the best, man.

Give us the backstory. Give us the origin story of Joe Gatto. Geeky Italian kid growing up in Staten Island. I used to make tests for my father, but open up the Encyclopedia Britannica to make multiple choice questions for my dad. Yeah, he would come home from his 10-hour work day selling life insurance.

And I'd be like, pop quiz, bitch. All questions have to do with the letter E. Yeah, so it was the worst. No dinner until you take the SATs. Was he good at it? My dad was. Well, I was, yeah, I mean, I was in fourth grade, so I hope. He was the vice president of a company. I hope he was alright. What did I have for breakfast this morning?

Then I, you know, I dabbled in magic after that. Really? Yeah, I did some magic. You're a lady killer. I was there on lookout like, hey, hi-yo! wonder why I didn't lose it until I was 22. But I did that and then I got into creative writing. So that was really the first way I got into like, storytelling and sure. At what age were you doing magic? And what was the big trick at the time? Did you have what was like, got your nose? I got cards I did I had a card trick thing. But had the, I don't know if you guys know, you might know this because I noticed that you got a good collection of toys here. It was the Fisher Price Magic Suitcase. Yes.

Yes, I remember that. So it had like the little thing and the big trick from it in the front was there was three colored little compartments and you take one of the balls, you put it in the front. In the back, it was open. You could slide it over and you'd open the right side, but it was made out of plastic. So when you slid it, you would just hear it go, here we go like you gotta pay attention you gotta cough uh uh i'd have to talk over it but yeah so i had that thing i actually just was on the road and i was doing some teacan i popped into a store and is that antican antican yeah i've never heard that i

i was doing some teacan trying to make it sound cool i thought it was a new drug you know what i borrowed that term from q q was a big big teaker. We hit the road. We'd be in Portland teaking. So I found it, and I bought it. And I brought it home to my kids, and I was so unimpressed. What the hell is this? Hunk of plastic. We wanted a PlayStation 5, man.

I'm like, but guys, the ball, where did it go? Who was in the house growing up? Your brother's sisters? Two older sisters. I'm the younger boy. My mom and dad. And what'd your dad do? My dad was a life insurance salesman for US life insurance. And then my mom would stay at home until I was in eighth grade and she became the secretary of my school. I went to St. Adalbert Catholic School and Senate and she was

the in the principal's office and she was the only it was all nuns and my mom. So whenever like when you got in trouble in that school, they put you in the lobby and you had to like face the corner. Like one of those things was embarrassment things. And my mom was the only person that wore heels in the whole building because it was all nuns and then men, right? So they were wearing their flats, their isotoners and here comes like I would hear my mom like a shark in the water like click, click, click. And And I would hear my mom, like a shark in the water, like click, click, click. And then I'd hear come quick, like click, click, click.

As you grab me by the scruff of my neck, we'd be in the Catholic high, St. Adalbert's, Catholic Grimes School, she'd be like, you're dead. When we go home, I'm gonna beat you to death. You're embarrassing me. Mom, pick a card. Embarrassing a mom at a Catholic school, yikes. You're in for it.

Yeah. And your dad worked in the city, I assume, right? Dad worked on Maiden Lane, and by a crazy turn of events. In Staten Island? No're in for it. Yeah. And your dad worked in the city, I assume, right? Dad worked on Made in Lane and by a crazy turn of events. In Staten Island? No, in the city. In Manhattan. In Manhattan. I had a crazy turn of events. I was we were filming for Jokers and the call sheet came and it was Made in Lane. And I went and it was my dad's old building. Oh, years later.

I was like, I was like, I know what I know around here. And it was his old building because I used to go sometimes with him during the summer. That's awesome. So did he take public transportation? in he did and then he got that vice president money They gave him a Buick LaSaber and dad was driving That was a good American like a company car Daddy your uncle would get a new company bench seat AC worked perfectly. Yeah, it was great

Now they're all they're all like Ford fusions and they're all like very tiny Bench seats. Yeah. So great. AC worked perfectly. Yeah, it was great. Now they're all like Ford Fusions and they're all like very tiny. Anybody that I know that does sales has like a tiny Ford Focus or something. Yeah, they're looking for the mileage. I know. My uncle had a Cutlass for a little while with the wire wheels from the company. What was he, a pimp? Yeah, he was in sales.

He's in sales. He's a good people person, that guy. Okay, all right. And what was the grocery store your mom went to growing up? Pathmark, down the street. Pathmark? Yeah, it graduated through a Top Tomato. We got a Top Tomato down in Marinus Harbor.

That's the most Staten Island shit I've ever heard. Top Tomato. Yeah, you could go the long way. Is it spelled tomato? T-M-A-T-A. And then you had to go right next to the Big Apple Bazaar, and you had to go, if you went up Harbor Road, you had to make the right on the the Forest Avenue or you could cut through the woods, which we used to do. We used to cut through the woods and carry groceries back to the woods. Yeah.

Like the hill people. Yeah, we were. Yeah. Yeah. Top tomato, authentic Italian supermarket and catering. Yeah. Top tomato. My grandfather. That's a good time. Look at that. My grandfather was in tomatoes. Garlic bread for breakfast. breakfast. You want bruschetta loops? My grandfather was the tomato guy at Staten Island. Really? Yeah, he was. He really was. Amada Tomato Brothers Incorporated was my grandfather. He worked in the market down in Manhattan and he used to supply all the tomatoes.

No kidding. Where would he get them from? He made that tomato and he imported them. From Italy Staten Island with tomatoes. No kidding. Where would he get them from? He made that tomato money. He imported them. From Italy? Yeah. Are they Sam Marzano's? That's a good question. I do not know. Okay. Well, do you know Sam?

He grew up with his brother. Get in front of yours? Yeah. No, I didn't know them. But yeah, my grandfather cashed out on that money. He became a millionaire and just moved to California. Really? Left everybody behind. Yeah, he sold it. No kidding. So he invented a machine that sorted tomatoes the tomato sorter Yeah, he bought he bought these he was like a weird like inventor guy and he would just cut separate holes on conveyor belt and

Three springs and he would just like push a pedal and it would move him to where they went So he sped up the whole process. No, you need to kill him on it. Yeah, man Is that crazy? And then I just what is that the ice is he moved down to Florida? No, he went to California Yeah, yeah, he went to California afterwards. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I got my cat. Hey, I'm out. I'm out. No, he just gave up the business He was like, you know, I don't want to work this hard. Sure. He had a heart attack and he was like, I'm out here I'm going to California and sold it all makes sense and in the house would you guys have a house? You have an apartment with we had a shitty little house on a big plot of land and how many? So it was you and your two sisters.

I lived in a railroad bedroom though, so my parents had to walk through my bedroom to get to theirs. Yeah, I was attached to my parents' bedroom. Till what age? Yeah. Till what? Till too old.

Last summer? Till too old. Ma, I got a broad over here. My father passed away, we lived in that house. My father passed away when I was 19, and we lived in that house until that point, and so up until I was 19, I had that. No that point and so I up until I was 19 I had that no kid wow man just crazy yeah well damn yeah my sister shared a bedroom it was also the

same house my mother grew up in wow she bought it for my grandfather when he cashed out she gave her a decent deal she did you gave her a little bit off the top I'm gonna be honest yeah I'll give you the commission cuz it's family yeah and are you 100% Italian? 100% 100% you do the seven fishes on Christmas? Of course. Yeah, okay. I got the tomato money Even if I wasn't now I am He's half Polish. What are you talking? Yeah? Yeah, I got a seven fishes. Yeah that whole thing. Okay, and what uh Huh? What was the what was the first job you had out there on the island on the books were off off off the books I was scooping ices for scooping ices books I was scooping ices for Tony Delato. At the Big Apple Bazaar, my friend of my father.

Tony Delato's Delato? Tony Delato's ice. He had this like a Lado store at the bazaar. And it was so shady. Everybody was coming in with cash envelopes. And I would sit out front and I would scoop. It was $2 for ice. And I would scoop ices for him.

That was my first off the bench. And were you paid hourly? Or did you get a little taste of the? He gave me a little bit. They're here and there. And then I remember one day, I never thought this until right now. You just unlocked the memory for me. A guy came in, they locked the door. It was some rustling. He came outside and they put a $50 bill in my cup and they said, yeah, nobody came here today. Go home. And I went home. And I didn't remember that until right now. You just unlocked the memory for me. It's like a Bronx. It was No, but it was like I didn't know you know what do I know I was like 12 years old

I'm like I got a 50 and I went home and my father was like what happened He's like I was like I don't know is like that's right. They made a guy You don't know Tony had five flavors, but he only sold tree We got to take this part out. He's not out in California with tomato money. I can tell you that Joe. He's growing tomatoes. Oh my god. And what was the pet situation growing up?

Anything weird? One dog, midnight. And then I had, I got into the exotic game with turtles and parakeets. I had Chi Chi and Cha Cha. Were the parakeets loose or were they in a cage? They were supposed to be in the cage, but I took them out a lot too often from my parents. I don't think they liked it.

And then I had Shelby, Shelton, and Sherbert. Well, those are my three turtles. They died pretty quick. Three turtles? Yeah, in a row. They weren't, we got a bad bass. I got lemons. Yeah, I got bad bass. Did you have all three at the same time? No, no, no a row. They weren't. We got a bad bass. I got lemons.

Did you have all three at the same time? No, no, no. It was a replacement situation. My mom tried to get one over on me. I came home, it was a new turtle. It wasn't even the same size. I said, what happened? She was like, I was like, this ain't Shelby.

She's like, we'll meet Shelton. It's a cat. Yeah. It's like, but it's in a shell. She really committed to it, mom. She got a cereal bowl around its back. And you kept the turtles in a like a little aquarium aquarium. Okay, they weren't loose in the house. No, those couldn't be. One dog midnight lived till 17 years old and we had to put her down. She was a trooper man.

Oh, what kind of dog was midnight? She was a mutt. She was a mix of a schnauzer and a bunch of little ones, but she was a street dog. So my parents used to open the door in the morning. She'd leave and she'd come back at five o'clock to eat. Yeah. So my father was driving home one day and he's driving his LaSaber and he sees midnight is sitting in a pothole. There was a pothole that she made her own home on Harbor Road.

And my dad had to go put a rock in it. He's like, this dog's going to die. Yeah, that's insane. And was that the family car? Did your mom have a car? She had a car as well. What'd she have? Mom had a... My dad had the Buick.

My mom had... I don't know. It was red. I think it was a... I think it was a Buick as well. This crocodile makes a lot of noise. Yeah, I think she had the other Buick. My dad had gotten her. So we were a Buick family. Okay.

And how about the vacations growing up? Would you go anywhere? What would you do? The vacations were pretty much always drive a bull. We would go either north up to the Catskills, Poconos. Pocomont was one. Sure. Then we went down to the Essex and Sussex.

I don't know if you guys know. Sounds like a nightclub. It was down right by Delwood. We went down to Anson. I don't know if you know what Delwood was. Delwood was down. So we went down like Maryland-y area. But Essex and Sussex was way too shushy. We checked in and it was like, it felt very much like you were staying at like the Capitol building.

So we stayed there one night. My dad was like, this isn't for us. But we did the Poconos. You got parakeets flying around. And was there an extended family circle out there on Staten Island with you? Was it just your mom and your dad? Did they have like their... I grew up with family.

I'm one of 15. I'm the youngest of 15 grandkids. And then I'm the bridge between under me, there's 28 great grandkids from my grandparents. So like I'm a huge Italian family. But we were always like, one of my cousins is like a brother to me, Mike. You know, he's one year older than me.

And my sister grew up with his sisters and all that. So I love it. And I still have family, an uncle and some cousins out there. I love it. That's pretty good. And what was the first concert you went to? Do you remember? I wasn't a big live music guy till later in life. I used to rock out to like a Z 100 jingle ball. I went to an assortment once. I remember I went to see Chicago at the PNC Arts Center. That's great. And laid out on the, you know, on the grass lawn, on the lawn for that.

I remember that one. What were you listening to in high school? Because we're just, we're the same age. Were you a, were you a grunge guy? Wutang, Staten Island. Wutang, hip hop. No grunge? No grunge at all.

No, I didn't do that. I didn't do any of that. I did pop though. I did pop. I was a big Z 100 like pop radio station and rap like it was weird. So yeah both worlds Yeah, what uh, what was the high school you went to Monsignor Farrell Monsignor for all boy Catholic high school altar boy Yes, get a little cash when you do a funeral or a wedding. Nice. Got a big bump once How was how was the communion when you when you when you got communion my communion eyes?

What was what was the party like? Very very low-key because my sister's just went through that stuff and they spend all the money on them I was always the third one through you know sure so any loop that I had to jump in you remember what you made Cashwise off the communion because that's the biggest thing that we get is get I had to I had two uncles that hit me with a Heavy card from they were they were a couple hundos each and that's great, which was nice back in the day. That was big. I remember somebody gave me a somebody gave me a bond to you. That was a thing. My grandfather's gave me saving bond. And I remembered when I turned 18, I cashed out my saving bonds from that my confirmation and all that. And

it was a couple grand. That's right. Yeah, because I we always talk about how our Jewish friends, you know, it's somewhat around the same time period, or maybe a few years later, they always got caked up at the Bar Mitzvahs. Yeah, always. My sister's at the Sweet 16, my sister's at the Sweet 16, my oldest sister, Gina, cleaned up. Cleaned up, yeah.

Well, what venue was that? Was that like a catering hall on Staten Island or something? The Staten. The Staten. Yes, the proper, most proper, yeah, the Staten. That's where it was. We used to rock out there, then we ended up getting a discount because my mom befriended the lady, it was nice. Yes, the proper, most proper. Yeah, the statin. That's where it was. We used to rock out there, and we ended up getting a discount

because my mom befriended the lady. It was nice. So my sister's got a discount. My second sister got a discount at it. Gang, Adam and Eve, come on. Need I say more? That should be the end of the ad right there. Adam and Eve, wink, wink, and then we're out of here.

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How were the grades in high school? How did you do? Were you a good student? Yeah, I was nerdy. Great. Yeah. Yeah. All the way to college. Yeah. Yeah. Would you would you get in the SATs? You remember? Not I didn't do as well as I should have. I think I did a 1040 or something like that solid Yeah, four digits is all right. I think it was I think it was 1040. Okay, but then I ended up I So I ended up I had the choice to go to Farrell or to st Peter's to two big old boys high school. I got a scholarship from st

Peter's and my dad really wanted me go to Farrell He's like, you know, I just think it's a better school and it's important to say, all right, go. So then both my sisters are in college, going through college. Then I ended up, I really wanted to go to Rutgers. Okay. And Villanova, those are my two big schools. I wanted to go to those two.

I had the grades for them, whatever. And then the letter comes in. I got the grades for Rutgers now. The letters come in from CW Post, Long Island University. Sure. And they give me a scholarship, a tuition scholarship. I accepted to Villanova with no scholarship. My dad's like, Listen, we use that chip. You got to go with a scholarship. So you're not passing up another one. So I

ended up going out to LA. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. All right. Growing up. Did you guys keep the butter on the counter? Was it in the refrigerator? We're not animals. And what would you do with your rotting rotting dairy? I'm assuming now you keep it in the fridge. In the fridge. Wait a minute. Oh, yeah. I'm a Marger in household. No, are you kidding me? Yeah, you got money. I know. I know. I got stick of butters. That I got stick of butter syndrome.

You know, stick of butter syndrome. You try to put it. You ruin your toast. The toast. I hate it. That's why people leave it out. And the salted butter you're allowed. We've learned from a chef the salted butter you're allowed to put it, you're ruining your toast. The toast, I hate it. That's why people leave it out and the salted butter you're allowed, we've learned from a chef, the salted butter you're allowed to leave out and it

makes it easier to spread. What chef is telling you these lies? I'll get Guy Fieri on the horn. Okay. He'll back us up on that. Salted butter you can leave out, unsalted butter should be in the

fridge. I don't know though. I mean we're a very, I'm still a Margerin family. My mom is. You guffawed at the mention of Margerin. That was a big reaction. You so it's like. You guffawed at the mention of margarine. Whoa, that was a big reaction.

You got cash on you. You're buying margarine? Yeah, like there's a huge price difference between margarine and butter. You should be getting like organic butter from Whole Foods or something. Organic butter, yeah, look at me. I look like I eat healthily organic

as I'm eating a full pound cookie in front of me. It's got margarine on it. There's definitely margarine in this bitch. You're a margarine household with the kids and everything. I'm a country crocker. You're doing country crock. I got that big one. Big country crock.

Put some gravy in there after. 100%. That's how they wear. I love country crock. A couple of meatballs. It's a customer profile. He's closing a deal with country crock. If you guys want to throw me some of that CC money.

The commercials when we were kids got you pretty good. You didn't see the couple. You just saw them pulling out. Oh, they were button buttering the muffin. Oh, that was so great. Having muffins for dinner, by the way. So we didn't question back then. We had bigger problems.

The 80s, man. Everything was happening. And how about the mayonnaise? What were you using growing up? Did you were you a mayonnaise family? Yeah, we didn't do cool whip. No, not cool. What is that? I did do cool't do Cool Whip. No, not Cool Whip. I did do Cool Whip. That was a delicacy in my house, a Cool Whip.

Of course. When you were able to get the Cool Whip, you knew something big was happening in the house. Dad closed the deal. There was a bin of Cool Whip. Dad closed the deal. I didn't do a Miracle Whip. No, I did Helmets.

Excellent. Very nice. And you're still doing Helmets, I hope? You switch over to Miracle Whip. Now we do some of that organic vegan bullshit. I like to hear that. That's what we want to hear. She picks up that stuff. Yeah, a little avocado oil, something like that. I do enjoy an avocado oil.

Good. Guilty as charged. This guy's bougie. What would be a, as a kid, say something did happen, like something, you know, a special occasion during the week or maybe on the weekend, where would you go out to dinner? Where would your dad and mom take the family for dinner? What would be a big treat for the kids? The ground round. Really?

That was a big one, yeah, that was a big one for us over there, a ground round up there on Forest Avenue we used to go to. Baratis, which was a pizzeria restaurant joint, little combo, and then if you wanted to get crazy, you know, if daddy was feeling like daddy wanted to spend some of that Chinese money and spend some of that yen, we would go to, what was was the crown palace? Okay? Yeah

Those would be the big ones but first of like the ground round was like the thing for us to go or the or even the Perkins Well, you go. Oh, I love a perkins. Yeah, you guys allowed to have a soda when you go out Yes, but we were we didn't really we weren't really that much so to read no No, I was lemon lemonade lemonade.ades, I'm a big lemonade. Country time or was your mom making it fresh? Mom making it fresh. She make it fresh from my powder. Okay.

Yeah. So she put it in with the big stirrer, but it wasn't fresh. She wasn't out there grinding lemons and limes. The Staten Island curve. She made it fresh out of the box. The freshest. Yeah.

Okay. We used to put margarine in it. Did you drink milk with dinner at any time? No, no. As an Italian, how do you feel about milk with like pasta or pizza? You think that's gross? That's gross. Yeah, it's a big I don't know what it is, man. That's a it's a no, no. Yeah. My favorite. Really? Oh, so gross. You like you could get a you could get a fresh

matanat slice here and then you could throw down like a cup of two percent. I'd be biting and sipping the whole way really I love it well there's many things about you that interest me that's probably gonna be on the top of the list by the end of the afternoon give it give it a couple yeah yeah what was your mom's best dishes growing up oh she did a chicken I'll blow your balls off she did a chicken she's like a chicken scarpiello you know kind of deal or a lemon once you did my her eggplant parmesan is legendary still. Chicken soup was killer.

Really? Yeah. Did you throw down at all? I cook. Yeah? Yeah, I'm a cook. What's your go-to? We're coming over, you're gonna really wow us.

You got the milk ready. What are we, what are you doing? Well, apparently I'm doing milk and tomatoes. I mean, it would be a milk and tomato smoothie. I would do something else normally, but yeah, for me it's gonna be a honey, honey soy, what do you call it salmon I do with pineapple fried rice. Whoa! Yeah like that's one of my favorite dishes I prepare but I also can

do eggplant parmesan. P.F. Gatto over here. Yeah I like it. I could do it I could cook like a parmesan I don't eat meat so I but I could cook meat I don't I don't really eat uh steak or anything. How long have you been a vegetarian? Fish? Pescatarian. Those are two different things. I thought you asked if he was a fish. I'm pescatarian. And how long have you been doing that? I met a cow in about eight years, I think. Nine years almost.

Really? All right. That still makes the margarine thing even weirder. It just turns it. Really? Yes. How is it? a half a beef? I don't really use uh no I do I was gonna say I don't but I do. Okay hmm hmm all right we're gearing up here can you whistle with your fingers? Not in front of you. I don't do that. No I can can't. Like call a taxi? Yeah. I wish I could, but I was always very jealous of those guys.

That's like one of the best skill sets. That's the most New York response. Like for a taxi? Not an animal, like a taxi. Who whistles at a deer in the woods? I'm not whistling at my horse that got away. Sure. How old were you when you got your passport?

And where were you going you got your passport? And where were you going? First one, it was as an adult. As an adult? Yeah, it was as an adult. We only went to like Hawaii, Puerto Rico. My dad had a scambone going with my mom. Scambone's pretty good. That he did, he used to.

That's the name of the podcast. He's giving me scambones. So he was the vice president and he used to throw the, he used to be in charge of where to have the big conventions every year. OK, he didn't like in Hawaii, Puerto Rico, whatever. And he put my mom on the committee to help organize it. You got to be there. She comes and then he would bring us

and we don't have to pay for us three to go. So it was nice. So we did. I did Hawaii, Puerto Rico's, things like that. That's but I think the first place I went out of the country was Mexico. And I got my passport probably in college going to Cancun. OK. That's what I'm pretty sure that's it. Spring breaking it.

Spring breaking it. There you go. Yeah. OK. When was the first time you had Nutella? Was that big in your household as an Italian? No, Nutella wasn't. Nutella wasn't really.

I don't think Nutella hit the scene that way until. It was out there. Yeah, but I don't think it hit it like it does now. Because you know what? God, you know what? God, it now is the Nutella, like the croissant bullshit. It's a chocolate croissant to Nutella as like a breakfast spread It wasn't like that for me net. Okay, we a chunky peanut butter or creamy peanut butter family. That's none of your business I'll talk to you later

We did I think I did Jeff. Okay, I did. Yeah, if you did Pete Oh, I had a cousin who had Peter Pan it was the worst Jim Peter Pan peanut butter I like Jeff I did Jeff growing up. I'm a skippy household now the creamier crunchy creamy Did you guys ever do the peanut butter and jelly in the same jar the goobers? Was it like that? That should be the definition of garbage Now we never did that I always did you know, I remember my mom got the squeeze one once and and that was like changed The game it was like a squeezable because the jelly was always so lap hazard. Jelly would end up everywhere. There's always a little piece of butter or something. Well, when you were a kid, you ever called the radio and request a song? Oh yeah. Yeah.

All the time. I used to, I used to, oh my God, I used to love, I wanted to be a DJ for a while. So I used to call this guy. Did it all a magician, DJ, international superstar. That's how I ended up. I ended, I met Elvis Zoran because I won the DJ for a day contest. They had a DJ for a day contest in 2001 or 2002. I had sent in a tape to audition and I went up there for an hour. I hosted at one of three hours. Yeah, it was so fun and that's how I met them and it was so cool. But yeah, I was a big radio house.

We were a big house of music. Okay. Yeah. Who was your mom's favorite singer? My mom's favorite singer was Barbara Streisand. Really? She likes bad. She loves Babs. Yeah, she loves Babs. She ever seen her in concert? That's a good question. I'd have to ask her but she's dead. So I can't get back to you. For part two. Yeah, I'll go see a psychic. I don't I don't think

she did. Fair enough. Any weird collections growing up? commemorative commemor see. Part two, yeah, yeah. I'll go see a psychic. I don't think she did. Fair enough. Any weird collections growing up? Commemorative plates, weapons. Weapons. Yeah, collected weapons. Like what? Like name it.

Tommy guns and stuff like that? Yeah, no, no, no. Knives, swords, nunchucks. Yes, knives, swords, nunchucks, climbing crawls, grappling hook, blow dart. Yeah, crossbow. I had all that stuff. And I used to hang them on my weapons wall above my bed. I had a weapons wall, yeah.

What, as your mom was walking through to go to the bedroom? Yeah, I got to make sure shit don't go down. I'm the first law in the defense. Living with a rainbow over here. Yeah, I had that because I used to go to the Big Apple Bazaar and buy it from this Chinese guy. He looked like he was selling mod-wise. It was the same guy.

I swear to God, it looked like the same guy. He spoke like four words of English and he would sell weapons to any teen that walked in the door. Yeah, we had the same thing. We'd go to a place called Rice's. Oh, Rice's, yeah. Yeah, Rice's. And then for collectibles, my sisters used to do Precious Moments. So they hooked me on to Chronicles of Crestonia. You know those

guys? And it tied into my love of fantasy. It was like all these dragons and stuff, but it was the same idea. Like, you know, Precious Moments? They're those little dolls that are like porcelain. It's like, I love you. It's like a Valentine's gift. It's in all the hallmark cards. Sure. I know the Briar's Carolers Valentine's gift. It's an old mark. I know the Breyers Carolers. You know, those very similar. So these things. So yeah, these guys. Yeah. So this guy right here. I remember him. So he's a guy. I had a whole collection of those in the curio cabinet. You still have them? I do. Are they worth anything? No, no. They're in a

marjoram bucket. They are. Yeah. Give it 10 more years. Maybe I'll turn a corner on it. I think they were and then they weren't again. I think I missed it. You missed over the 18-month period. Have you ever owned your own bowling ball or pool cue? I was on the high school bowling team, yeah. I had a Rhino. A Rhino?

Rhino bowling ball, yeah. I had that. And pool cue, no, I never got in a pool, but I was a bowler. I still am. Really? Did you play any other sports in high school? Competitively? No.

I'm terrible at this sport. Just bowling? Yeah, bowling and volleyball are the only places I could hold my own. Okay. High school? Competitively? No. I'm terrible at this sport. Just bowling. Yeah, bowling and volleyball are the only place I could hold my own. OK. Yeah. Volleyball, I'll give you.

The high school bowling team, that's crazy. Yeah, I was bowling out. Did you guys all have to get married, then get divorced to join the team? That's it. It was crazy. 14 years old doing it. Get a cigar.

Picture a beer. Yeah. Yeah. I was not very, as far as sports go, I had wheels and I had hands, but I couldn't put them together in the right sport. Like, you know, I was wheels and I had hands but I couldn't put together in the right sport Like you know, I was afraid to get hit so I couldn't play football like, you know I wasn't good enough dribbling for basketball. So what was the soap growing up in the bathroom? What'd you guys use was an Irish spring was a dove was an ivory. No, it was path marks. No frills brand

But we use the path marks skin softening body creams. They get you coming and going, Pathmarks. Yeah, I think, I think, yeah, we used, we didn't use anything fancy. Suave was the, the spread was the shampoo. I remember that. Strawberry suave? No, it was that stupid botanical blast. Oh, that was all right. Yeah, but you went and smelling like a girl. Like I used to get made fun of because I, my hair smelled so pretty. That and the coconut was good, too. Yeah. Between that, the bad That and the coconut was good though. Yeah. Between that, the badger and the bowling team, you got a tough one.

You got to see me. I know what you're thinking. How did you survive being so cool? Lady killer. Herbal essence over here. I like it. All right. Do you guys have a pool in the backyard?

Above ground. You did. There we go. Above ground, standard. We also had a deck, but the deck was only like six feet wide. Like it was just steps to go up. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nice. Was there any seasons where you didn't open it? Or was it all, like did you open it and use it a lot? Or at some point? Yeah, we used it. Cause we weren't a camp family. I didn't do any of that stuff. My backyard was one of the biggest backyards

in my neighborhood. Me and my next door neighbor, Jason, always, that's where everybody played. So we basically, my mom basically ran the summer camp. We just had the pool open. Everybody came out, came through and hung. Gotcha. I like it. I like it.

Did you go to the prom? Pass. I took a 14 year old to my senior prom. Yeah. So my girlfriend at that time. That was an impractical joker's bit. Yeah, I was 70's, 40's. And I didn't go to my junior prom because I couldn't find a girl. My first girlfriend was in high school, senior year. I know it's hard to believe with all these stats. Senior year high school is the first time. Okay. Huh. I love it. Do you

have any fireworks in the house right now? No. No fireworks? No. And when was the last time you were in an Applebee's, a TGA Friday's or an Olive Garden? You wouldn't find me dead in an Olive Garden. Sure. TGI Friday's or... What? Do you have one that you like out of those kind of casual dining experiences? I mean do you put a P.F. Chang's in there? Sure. Of course. No. That's the rope-a-dope. No, if I had to pick one I think most recently I was probably a. Of course. No. Rope a dope. No, I if I had to pick one, I think I think most recently, I was probably a P.F. Chang's. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Cheesecake Factory. Yeah. Yeah. Which is I was. I mean, how good are they? I mean, it's too much to be honest. I had me and

Sal used to for every year for his birthday, I used to take him to Cheesecake Factory at the Woodbridge Mall and we used to go for like five years in a row. I would treat him to the Cheesecake Factory. Love that. Are you peeing in the shower? Of course. Brush your teeth in there? Yeah.

Really? Oh, in the shower? No. I thought you said shit. I apologize. No, I don't brush my, my family does that though now because my wife did that

and now my kids do that and I find that so weird. Do they leave the toothbrush? They got the little holder, they got the little holder there. I think it's gross. That's that's gross. Okay. Yeah, are you flossing every day? No How you sleeping see pap none nothing. Yeah, I got a good apparatus. This is nice for airways I'm a side sleeper and I have multiple dogs in the bed. So it's I'm very like in one position California King I would assume you would you would but basic cable money. I'm just got a regular king

It's a twin bunk bunk beds And you said you sleep on your side how many pillows are underneath your head just one and how many do you hug one do you Have one between your legs no dogs everywhere dogs everywhere. Do you fall asleep with the TV on no? Yeah, not a TV guy interesting. What kind of kind of car are you whipping around in right now? Right now, I have an Audi. OK. Yeah.

Very nice. What kind of air freshener you got banging in there? Nothing. I go... Roll dog in it? Odegado. Whatever I'm smelling like, that's what those windows up, baby.

We're feeling it. Do you eat in the car? Yes. You let the kids eat in the car? Yes. Yeah, when we road trip for sure. It just speeds up everything, because they take forever to eat. Sure. And do you keep it pretty clean? Do you get it detailed on a regular basis? Do you do it? My car? Yes. Yeah, when we road trip for sure. Okay. It just speeds up everything because they take forever to eat. And do you keep it pretty clean? Do you get it detailed

on a regular basis? My car, yes. My missus, no. That's the kid's car. Yeah, that's a little bit more. Cheerios and all that stuff. Goldfish everywhere. Things you find like, what is this? Whose arm is this? That old milk smell. It's got a lot going on. It's just tubs of margarine everywhere. Family loves margarine. They do. Uh huh. Where are you doing where are you doing the food shopping now? Uh there is by me there's a place holiday farms

which is basically just a local smaller market supermarket kind of deal and then we get some we get some whole foods action to great. And are you guys still shopping or are you getting it delivered to somebody doing it? Instacart. Instacart. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. OK. Yeah. I like it. I like it. I got the in-laws who live with me. So they do. They're in charge of a lot of the grocery stuff. They take that as part of their contribution

to the household. So the kids got the grandparents living there with them. Best. They got a little in-law suite? They do. Look at you. Yeah. Own bath.

Pool now at the house? Yeah. In-ground. Salt water? Yeah, it is. Salt water? Yeah. Keep firing baby. Yeah, we got it now.

What do you think? Basic cable money. I was spending that money on that. Kids off the island, baby. Yeah, but you know what's funny is I don't... I don't scoop ices no more. No way, baby. Under the table.

I handed... I got the pool handed off to me and it needs to be... It's only something with the Italians. It needs to be... It needs to be refinished like the bottom like sure at the end of the summer the kids come out and they're like feet are bleeding I'm like I gotta I gotta get to this but it's so expensive I'm like I will do one more you'll be alright diving board on air no no we just do straight cannonball

family you're allowed in the pool that's it we don't want them growing up was there a particular I know Staten Island. I know Italian I get all that Is there a particular frozen pizza that you enjoyed or that was in the house? Was that even an option was there ever Domino's or Pizza Hut or was there was not there was Domino's be it was always the local place varieties, but there was there was a Domino's and There was a stint in the house, especially when DeGiorno hit the market We get the DeGiorno's we market. Ooh! We'd get the DiGiorno Supreme. Self-rising crust. We'd get the Supreme.

It's not DiGiorno, it's Togato. So good. And we would have that thing, and we would do that for a little bit. My mom fell into that hard. My cousin had Elio's, which I- Sure. Yeah, I remember that.

I remember when we used to go over, they did the French bread slice. Ooh. And I was like, I used to love when I slept over there because he also didn't have, he had the sugar cereal rule where they could have any cereal they want in the house so I would have the Elio's for dinner wake up and be fruit looping that shit yeah what's your mom getting the

house cereal wise we did like a you know a cracklin O brand and bullshit we did a buckwheat O brand wasn't that bad that you let that soak in the milk that had a little sweetness you know I would say though a honey bunches of oats came in hard we like that that was great and then we did a raisin brand crunch you know the ones that had the sure they were funny not cheerio not cheerio was fine that was the sugar cereal that you got supposedly lowered my dad's cholesterol I don't know if that worked but whatever it might

that's pretty much I'm pretty sure that's the cover said it might lower your cross by a one sees through the roof at B was lying to me how do you feel about the rotisserie chicken I was around when Boston Market came. Okay. And I remember when that Boston Market came in hot and I worried for KFC. I did I did I had a full like it was 911. I remember when I remember when the market hit the I remember when the Boston hit the market. And it was Boston chicken at first Boston chicken. Okay. It opened

up right next to Palmer video right up there on Richmond Terrace. And I remember it. And I was like, Oh, no oh no KO season's some trouble because I used to love the chicken little bites which they got rid of those little sandwiches the chicken littles oh yeah they were they were like the answer to the White Castle yeah you remember burger buddies too do you remember those the little Burger King sliders that oh yes yeah that's what they were called burger buddies yeah everybody's trying to get that White Castle sandwich size sure yeah braces as a kid for long, because I was the last one through the ringer. I had five years.

Really? Five years of braces. Nobody's teeth are that fucked up. Damn. From when to when? From like, I had it from, oh, during my hot years, I had it. You ready? 13 to 18, I was rocking those double deckers.

That's tough. Yeah, that is tough. Okay. Yeah. Huh. Ever been to a monster truck show? Once against my will, we filmed and we did a show and it worked. Any home remedies coming out of the house when you were a kid? Did your mom have anything like onions in the socks, Windex on something? No, we my mom had this thing about headaches, though, with you put a rubber band,

which doesn't make any sense. You put a rubber band around your head. Did you guys ever see that? I heard that. Rubber band here with like a penny. Did like on your pressure point and she would say, and it was like a coin, some sort of coin on your thing there and an ice pack. And I was like, okay.

And I tried it like twice. It never worked. And that was it. She's like, it works. It's something about the coppa. It was a penny. Because I remember her talking about the coppa. Mom, I got hit by a bat.

She's like, you're going to walk it off. off if you lost something would you pray to st. Anthony yeah when I was younger please st. Anthony please come around so there's laws that cannot be found it's not paper pencil or pen it is my Nintendo controller please come again hold on I don't remember please come around please come around please help again no that first what is it dear st. Anthony please come around. Please help. Please help again. No, that first. What is it? Dear St. Anthony, please come around. Please come around. Oh, that part.

Yeah. You don't know that? I think that was lost and can't be found. Yeah. He told you like, woo, dang. Come by. Stop by. I got some ice.

I'm sorry. Have you ever bought the floor model of an appliance or a TV? Thousand percent rocking that Best Buy open box. Yeah. Talking them down. Yeah. Let me get them down another two, at least two, Hondo. Were you a Wiz guy back in the day when the Wiz was popping in New York City? No, Radio Shack. Radio Shack.

Shacked it up on Staten Island. Okay. I would Shack. I remember when the Best Buy opened, I dumped the Shack and I was all Best Buy all time. Still am. Out of avid Best Buyers. So Best Buy, Country Croc, you guys need some help. I'm here for you.

Sure. Kevin, talk about Factor. Shout out to Factor, gang. Gang, summer days are behind us. Yeah, fall's in high gear. And what happens in the fall, Kippy, things start getting hectic. The kids got this. You got that. The husband's doing this. The wife's doing that. Mm hmm. Do yourself a favor.

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Easy. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Ever been bitten by any wildlife? Stung by bees, sure. Bit by wildlife, bit by, no, I don't think so.

Nothing? No, I'm not an outdoorsy type. Gotcha. Well, you leave clothes in the dryer and then change in front of the dryer. 100%. You still got away with that now? Yeah. Are you doing any laundry at the house? Yeah. You handle it? Yeah, I don't have people.

What do you think I got? That's basic cable. Jesus Christ. I know it's a lot of seasons, but guys, guys, it was like $30 an episode for the first four years. I did, yeah, we do, we do uh I do that a lot actually. I do the thing where your shirt I don't want to iron I'll throw it in the dryer. I did that this morning. Yeah. Now they even have it like quick fluff for like quick refresh. I can have a quick fluff. It's great dude. If you put a if you put a clean

damp washcloth in there with it that really buzzes it too. Thank you for that. Yeah. Thank you. Now you're earning value. A dirty sock works just as well, if we're being honest with you. Some soda on it. How many suits do you own? And do you know how to tie a tie? Yes. I had to wear a tie to school. To a tie school.

So I did, yeah. So I don't know. Wasn't a clip on in high school? I do it. No, I do a Windsor. Do a Windsor? I do a Windsor. I don't wear a bra.

But I have also taught people the Windsor. That's fancy. I'm actually the guy that puts people's ties on for them too. Yeah. And how many suits are we talking at the house and anything of notes? Yeah, I like I like I'm a shopper when it comes to clothes I like some of that stuff, but for me, it's mostly has become not the whole thing fits I have more problems downstairs and they go upstairs anything you're talking. I do a lot of sports jackets

I got a lot of great blazers that have graduated from suits and now they're blazers. Don't paracac. He's on can't tell me nothing. I got a couple. I got I got two suits that I rock. I have an Armani and I have a Zenia that both fit. But I bought it the outlets, which is good. And then a bunch of jackets, because on stage I like to wear a jacket, too. So, OK, or are you a cologne guy? No, nothing. No, my mask. What's the deodorant situation? I use it. I have ever breakfast. I used I used to agree. You used to agree for men. OK, gentlemen. No, my mask. What's the deodorant situation? I use it. Breakfast I used I used to agree.

Use the great for men. Okay, gentlemen. And in the shower. Now is it a body wash? Is it a bar? Body wash. Something nice? Nope. Okay, dove three and one. Whoa, you're doing three and one three and one but I use that for the body poo too. No, yeah, it is but I only use it for the body for the hair. I go over and I use a turtle. I use I use my wife's got this bougie one that we got from this place. We stay at this Aberdeen Resort She has in the pump. I use that so you stole shampoo from a hotel. I'm not saying I did I'm not saying I didn't That's up to you to three wall now

Make some noise All right, say you order food to the house Are you eating out of the container comes in or in. Are you putting it on a plate lunch? Out of the container plate? We get fancy. We have dinner. We do the plates. Dinner every night with the family. Sit down. Dinner with with you, the wife and the kids. And I'm home every night.

Every night. Ever in front of the TV? Never in front of TV. Ever in front of the TV? No iPads, no phones. No iPads, no phones. Where do the kids like to go? Or do you take them anywhere like a Cheesecake factory or anything like that? Yeah, we have a couple local spots around us They like to go out and eat at and stuff and then like for fun stuff like, you know

There's a children's museum they like to go to and things like that. There's a lot of good food out there Yeah, but they love a Panera They crush a pick two They crush a pick to my son and daughter like a bookie. Yeah crush a pick two. My son and daughter. Sounds like a bookie. They like a parlay. My son Paul lays the broccoli cheddar. Tease the bread bowl down. Bread bowls, take it easy.

I'm going to afford that stuff. What's a vacation looking like now? That's where we spend it. That's where you should spend it. I love it. What are you doing? Turks and Caicos mostly. We do Caribbean. We get Yeah, we do Caribbean. We do Cali sometimes they come on the road with me sometimes which is fun I take them with me and they end up wherever I am at that point So that could be like upstate New York or whatever but as far as family vacations, it's pretty much all Caribbean or California

We go west you're doing like one a year two Three. Yeah, how long? About four One a year, two, three. How long? How long? But expanded if you got it. Probably about four a year. Let's go! Really? Four times a year.

Well, we'll do the two breaks. For school, they get the winter break, and they get the spring break. And then we'll do four. We did this thing with our kids where we said, do you want a birthday party? You want to go away with the four of us. Sure.

So we just started doing that. So that's not as big or expand. Like we did Disney World with my daughter, and we did Lego Land, Upstate New York with my son. Gotcha. So we just started doing that. So that's not as big or expect like we did Disney World with my daughter and we did Lego land upstate New York with my son, you know, so we do that a couple times and then we'll do one over the Christmas break. We normally like rent a house with my sisters and we bring everybody and we do like love it for New Year's. You go to Caribbean for something like that. We did for my for from a

big birthdays. We do that we go down there for the crew. Where do you rent the house for Christmas? What location is it in? That's normally like Catskills upstate New York. Oh, really? Here we're doing the Berkshires this year because my shows are up near there, up there. So that's pretty nice. I'll meet them up there. Well, you get a tree and put it up in that house? No, trees happened. It comes, we start those on the 27th. Gotcha. Yeah. You start the tree on the 27th? We start the vacation. Oh, gotcha. Okay. You're doing a real tree at the house or a fake tree? No, we go fake. You go fake? A fake umbrella. Lights attached. I got no time for it. How many trees do you have in house? Just one everything else is overkill

Is it in the living room or is it in like when you walk in living room? Okay. Yeah living room I will so have a my only bougie thing that we have is I bought a floor model from forge floor model from fortune Off one of those nine foot Musical drummer no cracker guys fun. Yes, that's fun. We have one of those that plays music musical drummer like Nutcracker guys fun yes that's fun we have one of those that plays music he comes he was like guys listen don't look at me differently after I got a Santa Claus Elvis guy I got him a fortune off the source okay floor model floor model that I did listen you're gonna think I'm crazy over here one of the drumsticks was missing. What are you gonna do? Just put a wooden spoon. I put a wooden spoon and duct taped it and it was fine.

No one knows the difference. Are you doing the outside too? Like you'd, no. No, nobody sees it. Okay. Yeah. Oh, you don't do anything on the outside? No, that's for everybody else. Really? Yeah, I tried to once. I went heavy and it didn't work out. Colored lights or white lights? I don't want to get political. You gotta go white lights. Uh I white lights. So she likes she likes the white lights on the tree but it has a LED setting right so you can change it. So we battle like when I'm in the living room, I'll throw on the other one. So

you get both and then she'll come down. She's like, I like the other ones. I'm like, well, I was in here. I like those. You got the disco version going. It's like limelight. They have one that's a mix for the for the exact scenario I'm in. They have one that's a mix of color lights and white lights. It looks disgusting. Yeah, it's not great. Have you ever been ghost hunting? I've been I enjoy the paranormal and it's expedited an

expedition. That's the creepiest answer to that question. We're not Congress. I don't know if I want to go I didn't have I got ghost hunting. I don't have. I've been on a ghost tour in New Orleans Which was kind of interesting that was sure on the horseback thing. That's fun Have you ever seen a ghost when I was younger? Yeah, I think I said his day. I still think I did It's probably just sale

Everyone's in the other room. I do believe in life after I believe something happens after my father had a lot of things were too weird to explain and I was like, something's up. Gotcha. Yeah. Gotcha. My dad passed two years ago and there's a lot of weird things that happen. Right. Yeah. I think part it's probably half and half. Half and half we make happen, but half of it I think is happening. Sure. Are you a fast food guy at all? Not really, because I don't eat meat, but I'll crush a BK Impossible Whopper if I need to. You will? Yeah. What are the kids like in the Mrs.? What's their?

They're all vegetarians. So that's the only one we do. Really? But yeah, we'll do slices to go and stuff like that. Or like the French fries. They do a happy meal with just the cheese. OK. Like a fake burger kind of deal.

They're all vegetarians making the margarine thing real weird. You're really stuck on the margarine, man. Oh, if I could take an answer back. Did you have a favorite Pop-Tart growing up, or were you a Pop-Tart guy? Wasn't a Pop-Tart family at all. The big X-Nay from Mom. Really?

She wasn't into the Pop-Tart. You weren't a Strudel family, were you? The Pillow Fish? No, no, no. We were Entenmanns. So we had that Entenmanns. You know that cheese ring they had? Yeah.

Special occasions, you break that out with a little coffee? Up the street for me was the Entenmanns outlet. So where the almost expired stuff. So they used to send me on my bike, and I used to go up and I used to fill Up a thing to come back. I swear God we got it like you were born to be a dirtbag Send me up to the Entenmann's disc I went to the Entenmann's discount outlet right there on Harbor Road It was between the pizzeria and but there was like an oil refinery like we drove by it the last time we were at Staten Island used car dealers

It was next to some sort of like it was a a place where people went to, you know when you, back in the day when they were like, you didn't know what to do with your oil, when you changed your own oil in your car? It was that. Like a DA. It was like that, yeah, like a drop off thing. And I was getting Entenmann's Crumb Cakes by the pound. He got till Thursday to eat his cake.

If we go to your house now, we, you know, and we ask, asked sure if we're standing outside And we asked for a water. What would you give us? Do you have bottle tap Brita? You're drinking it bottle just a classic bottle. Yeah, I'm spraying. Yeah in the fridge Half and half. I like a cold. She doesn't really say it's better for you. Not cold Do I look like I care about better? Do you have a fridge in the garage? No, we have a secondary fridge though, but it's not the garage basement. No have a fridge in the garage? No, we have a secondary fridge though but it's not in the garage. A basement. No, it's in the bedroom. It's in the bedroom. That would be

fantastic actually. I know. We have a weapons room. We have a secondary uh laundry room. So, it's in the secondary laundry room. Nice. You have two laundry rooms? Yeah, for the dog. So, there's a dog laundry room. There's like the dog beds and all that stuff and then there's all this is up. Sounds like a nice piece of property. What's in what's in that second fridge? Just drinks? Mostly the in-laws meats. The in-laws. that stuff and then there's all this stuff sounds like a nice piece of property what's in what's in that second fridge just drinks mostly The in-laws meets the in-laws the in-laws. So my grandfather the grandfather is like that's his like meat locker

He's got like his lamb and his stuff in there. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of that in there, you know Okay. All right. That wasn't an answer you were expecting The proper answers. Oh, we keep the sodas the juice whatever in there yeah not the mutton and hanging goat up in there have you ever driven with headphones in never okay no I don't think so I ever had a credit card cut up in front of you not by an establishment but by my mother she I got punished once and she took my credit card, my Discover card away because I couldn't understand. I had the Discover card and it was up to like 24 grand and she's like, I can't.

24 grand? When? It was after college before I had a job. I would have cut it up too. So she said, you don't understand, you're not responsible, you can't understand what this is used for and she cut it in front of my face. Jesus, you pay that down? I did when we won the contest. So we won the contest. It's your show me and the boys. We won this contest and started the whole chain of events. We won $100,000. Oh, I don't think I knew that it's

between the four of us. It was this thing. If Fox was running this failed pilot was called It's your show. And it basically was when everybody was trying to take the internet and put it on TV. So it was like when MySpace and all that started happening, they had this contest where they would give sketch groups a title or a topic and you had to make a sketch about it. And then people would vote on it and you'd win a thousand bucks.

So we did this thing, we won 10 weeks in a row, cause our mailing list was huge from always being doing this and it was funny. We were funnier than everybody else pretty much. And then we had, they got, they picked a pilot up and they invited three comedians to do it. And that was to tenderloins is one of them so we did this we won but the pilot didn't go to air but they had to pay us so it was a failed pilot we got paid a hundred thousand and I got my my cut was the

25 and I paid off my discover card with it I guess the tax man in a way I wasn't sure about taxes and then when they came I didn't make. Wait. I'll get you next time, big guy. I wasn't sure about taxes. And then when they came, I didn't make any incomes. It didn't really matter. How's the credit score now? Good, I assume. What kind of play are you throwing around these days? You get the Discover card back? I pass it out on that. I go MX, platinum. Yeah, got to. Three times.

Who are you flying with? Delta, diamond medallion. I just hit diamond. Yeah, it's the best, isn't it? I don't know. I haven't flown with it yet. But I'm looking forward to it. Don't you dare buy buy anything besides don't you dare buy first-class ticket ever buy the lowest fair you get upgraded all the way through I've gone from back of the plane boom right up top. I can't I can't run that risk I'm not a floor model guy. Listen to me. Don Medallion has got its perks. We'll talk about it later and Delta I'm available if you guys need anybody. Listen if I end up in like 24c, I want to be calling you

I'd blame it. Call me. I'm gonna be calling you Call me. I'll get you. You're doing you're buying the ticket at the back of the plane and hoping for the upgrade I'm not hoping it's happening Between famous comedian. I know that's the best part I show up and I go all this is my seat They're like come up here. You know my son loves you. Can we take a selfie sure 1b nice? loves you. Can we take a selfie? Sure. 1B. Nice. Now, I don't have that pole. I'll do Comfort Plus and you get bumped up. You have to check in early. We'll talk later. I got lots of hacks. How do you feel about the deviled egg?

I'm a fan of it. So you still do eggs and stuff like that? That's the one thing my wife really cooks is a deviled egg. She makes a great deviled egg. Any karate classes in your childhood? Well, I was a self-trained ninja. You taught other people, obviously. devil deck. Any karate classes in your childhood? Well, I was a self trained ninja. I taught other people. I had an I had a ninja costume. I used to run around the neighborhood after dark and try to serve

justice. That's why I had my weapon was where I got bought the same bought the ninja suit from the same guy. It wasn't in high school or anything was it? Just before seventh eighth grade. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Have you ever used the squeegee to gas station clean anything but the windshield of your car? Good question. Yeah. Yeah. Doing the wall. Anything? Yeah. Anything that's got a bird shit stain or anything.

I think actually I think I got my fresh whites once, too. I think I had some on my shoe. I think I had my Adidas. I had Adidas off with it. I think I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I'm sure over time. Uh huh. Will you dance at a wedding? Try to stop me. Dancing right now. Can you do any dance moves? Can you do the Macarena? I to stop me. He starts dancing right now?

Can you do any dance moves? Can you do the Macarena? I can do everything. Electric slide? Yes. How about the worm? Not on purpose. That one, my back maybe.

I was never really a floor man. I have great footwork. And I dance with confidence that I shouldn't have. You're answering this with all sincerity, which is crazy. That's true. I have great footwork. I do have great footwork. I'm not really a floor man. I really, I tried to break dance once. That's for the younger kids. You know what I mean? When Breaking 2 Electric Boogaloo came out, I used to break it

down in the backyard with Jason Joseph. We used to throw down the cardboard and we would put on some music and try it and it never really was for me because everybody else could windmill. And I tried to windmill and I always like hurt myself myself so I stopped okay if you want me to give you real So your answers. I'm giving you How do you pronounce the product that Crayola makes a crayon? Pretty great. Yeah, yeah great if people throwing an ion on the if I crayon I say crown I say crayon wait What the fuck do you say we both say crown crown? C-r-o-w- Yeah, go get your crowns. Cran. That's not even that's not even a word. My dad was slow.

He wasn't the sharpest tool. It didn't skip a generation. Will you do this at the house? Let's say you open the dishwasher and they're clean, but it's not 100 percent full. Will you throw a couple of dirty dishes there and run it back? Or will you empty the dishwasher? I empty it Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. I don't think I've ever to be honest

I don't do much of the dishwasher and work in the house. Do you like to keep things tidy over there? Do you keep it neat? I do. Are you a clean guy? I am I'm not obsessive about it You know, I don't mind a messy a messy house is a happy house, you know, but I don't I don't like I don't like I don't like a complete like shit show though. You make the bed in the morning. Yes you you make the bed. I do. Yeah, I'm a bed maker. What's the vacuum you guys have a Dyson? It's mostly non carpeted We have mostly because the dogs we have mostly hardwood everywhere. So I think we got a Yeah, not that not that who's the other one the shark shark shark sharks. All right good product floor model. Yeah

I got that they threw that in when I got the TV. You open your eyes underwater. No. Okay. Can you body surf? Can you catch a wave? Yes, I can. I'm very buoyant. Okay.

He's a wave man. Yeah. I grew up going down to the Jersey Shore. Where at? Atlantic City. Atlantic City. We used to go down there. You guys go down to Atlantic City? My parents were degenerate gamblers, so they would take us down there.

And then my cousin lived in Long Branch, so we used to go down to Atlantic City my mom my parents were degenerate gamblers so they would take us down there and then my My cousin lived in Long Branch, so we down over there So around there I go very nice. Do you currently have athletes foot not currently? I'm in between yeah Yeah, see you again. I have tennis elbow though you do right now you get the athletes foot come and go I do is there any part of you that in the beginning when it starts first starts flaring up that you like it a little bit? I like the edge. The scratch is great. Did they in between a pinky toe and then one next to it?

I mean, that's that's God's gift to your foot. This guy's trash. Proper dirt bag. That was the best answer. I mean, if you're not right in that pinky toe, you know what I'm talking about. One sock on and you get in there. Fantastic. Bottle that and sell it that's good stuff right there I mean I only got a couple more you know how to use chopsticks yes you currently he's a ninja he told you that what do you probably kill us with

a pair of them yeah don't test me he currently own any two dollar bills yes hmm I got a two dollar bill from a guy they called that you who gives him out famously there's this guy that used to goes to all these concerts and backstage Yes. Hmm. I got a $2 bill from a guy they called, who gives them out famously. There's this guy that used to goes to all these concerts and backstage, he's known as the guy. He has, he gives thousands of dollars away in $2 in his pocket. I feel like I've heard about this.

Everybody shakes his hand. He's at all the high heart events. He shakes everybody's hands with a $2 bill for good luck. And he gives everybody $2. So I have one of his $2 bills. I don't have my own. I have not procured my own $2 bill. Okay.

It was gifted upon me. Anyone in your family ever represent themselves in court? Yes. Jesus Christ. Were you a crystal light family growing up? No. Do you wash your fruit? Yeah. Not until you eat it though. You don't we don't do a pre wash. I don't do I don't do a pre wash bowl. Bowl dirty, washy.

Gotcha. Okay. Do you ever have a switchblade comb? Island past Alamedia kidnip magnets on the fridge at the house now not now is it clean if we looked at the fridge it was less glass Inherited we wouldn't have bought it on my own. It was there when we when we bought the house So I stand in front of the fridge I can see everything you can see everything that's not in the freezer the freezes That's for me. That's a secret. That's the Harry Potter Yeah, you could see what's in there are you an ice cream guy no hate it Isn't crazy. Yeah, it's very off-brand for me. Yeah, my kids make fun of me all the time about it

Do you still have a Italian ice or water ice as we would call it in Philly? Italian ice, yes. Yeah? Yeah, I'll throw it down on Italian ice. Well, I used to scoop them so there's an affinity to that. You like a Spamoni? Yes, my favorite. You do a cannoli? Yes.

Are you naming my dogs? Are you just... Are that their names? Spamoni, cannoli, biscotti, tartufo, napoleon, tiramisu. Get out of here. I love the tartufo. Yeah. I got a brother and sister, Fettuccine Alfredo.

They started doing... My favorite one, check please. When I was waiting for one check, please I was waiting tables in New York There was this one company that went around and I felt like supplied every like small Italian restaurant small Irish pub with Tartuffe and it was the chocolate and the vanilla and they would cut it and fours man. That's a good time Yeah, you know what Tartuffe? Of course chocolate covered ice cream ball. That I'll dabble. I'll break my ice cream rolling with a Tartufo. Gentlemen. Yeah.

All right. Only if he's got the cherry and then you gotta have the whipped cream villages around it. Gotta have the cherry. Yeah. Otherwise, what are we doing here? What are we doing? I might as well be eating oatmeal.

Yeah. Will you take leftovers from a restaurant? Yes. That all mine or I've seen them around. I'll see it on the table. Like, we'll wrap that up too. They're like, you weren't sitting there. And for the most part, obviously family excluded.

When you go out to dinner, you're picking up to check, I would assume, right? All the time, yeah. All the time. What happens if you and the boys go out? You and the other. Well, whoever walks away to go to the bathroom by accident. We charge a ticket.

We did this thing for a while where we used to add the tips to Murray's card. Murray used to leave. He used to leave all the time. He would be like, oh, he's like, because he has this thing where he goes to brush his teeth after every meal. So he would go brush his teeth. Yeah, and he has all like fake teeth.

I don't know why. But he would go and he would leave the thing there after we were doing it. And we'd all just, he would put like a $10 tip and we would just make it a four. And he would never like really check his thing. So like years later, like he caught us doing it and he looked back and we had cost him thousands of dollars and he's like

you idiots and he tried to collect it from us it was very funny. Did he send you a Venmo request? I mean yeah he's a dirt bag for sure. Staten Island trash baby. 100% American garbage and that's the way we like it ladies and gentlemen Mr. Joe Gatto Special out right now messing with people over there on YouTube on the internet pound gorilla page. Check it out He is on tour. Also has the brand new children's book out. Where's Barry? Where's Barry? I love the way it's spelled too It's so cute. Yeah, it's awesome. That's penguin random house again. Guys big guy named public day They don't get in a bed with just anybody

Yeah, I know what's in that freezer Anything else you want to go to folks that didn't know we know you're on tour right now Yeah, let's get it. Let's get into a tours on sale now hitting pretty much everywhere. I'm so excited about that It's a my second hour and I'm loving it. So that's good. And then uh, yeah Just on Instagram's way to follow me at Joe underscore. Getato. Love it. And of course, joegatoofficial.com. Yes, of course. Buddy, we've been wanting to have you on for a while. This is awesome.

Like Kevin said, when we met you a couple of weeks ago, it was like we were old friends. We love you. So happy for you. Thank you. One of the funniest and one of the best Joe Gatto, everybody. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Kippy, what do you got for him? Live show tickets are at rugarbage.com.

Get them. Only a few shows left for this year. Gang, we love you. See you next week. Peace.