Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Joe List & Sarah Tollemache!

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

Kippy and Foley are joined by the comedy power couple Joe List & Sarah Tollemache! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Fum: https://tryfum.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

gang ticks are going to quick for that state trashy door. Hachi match. Do yourself a favor. Don't be left out in the cold. Scoop up some ticks. Yep, gang. Are you garbage.com? All tickets are available for our shows coming up.

And baby is there a lot of them. We got Phoenix Denver Salt Lake City Los Angeles, San Diego, Washington, DC, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Toronto, Pontiac, Michigan, uh, Chicago, Minneapolis, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Sacramento, San Francisco, San Jose, and then ending it and Philadelphia, baby, the boys are coming home. Get those take-ies. We'll see you out there. See you out there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh yeah. So at little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy Oh, they're just a big old piece of trash I'm your host stage fully coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tuddy's in the new edition She's upstairs with the mail man. Okay, he's getting the gutters cleaned out all right my co-host Right next to me swingin to mr. Sweet. He is the CEO of our you garbage And he is mr. Neptune 2004 for the summertime Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan what up gang. Thanks for tuning in as always He is the CEO of RU Garbage and he is Mr. Neptune 2004 for the summertime.

Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. One up gang, thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're right. You subscribe when I tune this full video available and YouTube as you know those numbers are. Seroot a roo. Over 150,000 over there. Then obviously the greatest website of all time. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it.

www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage gang. Check it out, it's a fucking party over there. Shout out to the Army of Garbage. We fucking love you It's a fucking party over shout out to the army of garbage We fucking love you gang and have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man makes us all look good Works the ones the two the three's in the four my best friend he crosses the T's and he dots the eyes give it up for T-bone McScruffens. It's Toby McBull in everybody look at him. What up dude? What up? Hey, pal? Oh, it's so slow We got to we got the power couple in the industry Running around the neighborhood every now and again. Oh, that's sweet. Are you guys in a story? Yeah, I'm in a story. Yeah. I'm by the water.

I'm in Washington. He's by a dock. It's the really sells it as the waterfront property. We'll get into a gang. The long hair ain't lying. We couldn't be more excited. They have two over. Absolute fucking favorites here with this in the studio. Both family at this point, we got them together. Give it up for Sarah Tola Mosh and Mr. Joe List everybody. There they are. Where are the cameras? I can't tell it was like five cameras.

There's a lot of scandals and animals this week. Is it true you drugged a woman to play with her toys? Foxy squirrels. I feel bad that you have Sarah and I in the same time because I'm a hundred percent sign-failed references. That's true. I agree. And you're not a sign-failed gal?

Not really. I mean, I'll sit down and watch and I can enjoy. I'm like that with the Simpsons and Family Guy as well, where I'm like, family guy's enjoyable. But if you're coming at me with references, I don't know your language. Sure. It's funny that you'd norm in me and him

and they would cut from the same cloth. Yeah, there's a few others. Andy Fury, Gary Donnelly. Gary Donnelly, really good. Yeah, Donnelly's great. Yeah, it's good. How often is it on at the house? It was on every morning.

Every morning. Every morning. No, that's ridiculous. Mine's, I watch it every day. Yeah, it's on. That's a lot. My thing is, we said this before, but I've recorded every sign felt it's all a lot. My thing is, and we maybe we said this before, but I recorded

every sign-feld when I was a boy. I have season 7, 8, 9 original broadcasts on VHS and then all the reruns. So I had like, I got boxes of tapes. What movie? I don't know. The departed. I got boxing. You can't go in time. I felt the departed. Well, your references. And expect me to pull a line. Wow. I thought even a famous line. That's what he's got to go. I got a box as a ten.

I did not say I knew Jay Riemann Schneidery. So he touched me on the shoulder. But anyways, I watched so many when I was a kid. I remember when I came home. Matt Wands, another one by the way. How old were you when that was on the air? You had to be in high school. Yeah, I was like eighth, ninth, tenth grade the finals.

And you were that into that? If you were Dan, I was obsessed. Old soul. I'm an old soul. Talking about Jewish guys on the upper east side and their dating lines. What? I was like, my wife? What?

Yeah. Huh. Okay. But anyways, I still watch it quite a bit. Yeah, so that, like you said before, I know Most of the time I'm watching Seinfeld's the pranos and I've been watching the wolf a wall street over and over again

It's been driving my girlfriend fucking nuts. We have a lot of Martin Square says he going on Yeah, it's good of what he does the Irishman if that I just I'll throw that on I'm watching it currently I'm watching Seinfeld the Irishman like the iron that. Those are just wild shows to put on casual movies to put on casualy. Well, what was your bed? Remember I was obsessed with what's the one Manchester by the sea? Jesus. I watch that like 12 times in like four days. That's fucking nuts. I love a good kid burning storage. Yeah. It's a great film. In case you have like this try to kill yourself. That's a good kid burning score. Yeah. That's a great film. In case the athlete, they're trying to kill himself.

That's good cinema right there. I love it. That's all I want in my life is to try to kill myself and someone saves me at the last second. What are you watching? Gotta get out more, dude. I, right now, I'm into reality TV, Vanderpump rules. That's all the right.

I don't know what the hell that is. That's been around forever, too. At least nine years, I stopped watching after season two and then it because it was kind of like zero. You think I look like Zorro, the guy with the mustache. Jacks. Yeah. Oh no, that's Tom Sandevol. So they've called it Scandival.

Yes. Yeah. He cheated with his girlfriend's best friend. And what are they from? Is it just a restaurant? It makes me miss my. One of them was I just googled it. One of them was all I just Googled it. One of them was on Real Housewives. Yeah.

One of the, the main. Lisa Van der Pum. The main whore as I go. Oh. That's insane. They're not whores. They're my friends. They're not nuns.

They're all delineated from that woman, right? Yeah. And then you watch some others. Every time I come home now, you have something else on a period piece. Oh, God. You guys are on yesterday. The Queen's Gambit was literally yesterday. You've come home the last two times.

I came home. I saw the saved screen thing. You've popped. Oh, no, because that's the commercial for Vanderpump rules. If you pause it on peacock, it shows outlander. So it makes it look like I'm watching a period piece oh but I'm not. You guys watch anything together? Yeah what do you sit down and throw something on? a film we'll watch a film. Yeah we um it's hard because at night you're like well we can't get into

anything in depth with like other languages. Okay. So it has to be like. Wait, what do you mean? Meaning like, you don't have the brand, you don't have the bandwidth to watch at the end of the night. Yes. So a lot of the times it'll be something that we've already seen. Like we just watched white man and can't jump.

Yeah. The new one of the old one. Old one. Okay. And then. I didn't pick Joe as a big Jack Harlow guy. I don't know that it's a secret. I never heard this Joe Mayo character.

Okay. Why don't, no, we try to watch movies. Well, because it's very funny, we've had both of you in here separately, a couple of times. But equal. It's true. Yeah.

And it's hard to think of Joe. Yes, because it's everything like, yeah, I don't need anything she cooks. He doesn't do this. We don't do it. It's very old, baby. Yeah. It's very two ships passing in the night.

I feel big jail, a lot of jail. This is common though. I do, I like any movie, but I feel like Joe probably won't sit down and watch the type of TV that I want to watch. Sure, you're not a reality guy. No. A lot of people think it's trash. I do too, but I like I call it my sports It's a long game of mental chef and it takes 10 years to get to the bottom of it. Yes

Well, I have mental problems too. I feel like some certain TV feels like it like triggers like a game show or a reality show I feel like I'm wasting my life. I'm like I gotta be watching sports or I'm sorry, but I feel like that's as good as it gets. Yeah, we watch stuff. We're not doing okay No, but I'm the same way. I don't my wife will watch what I'm watching, but you're not gonna watch her shows That's generally, the situation. That's probably how it goes. But that's, I want to push back here, because we will agree on a film.

Okay. Reality show, I will not watch for sure. Nor are you watching a hockey game. I'm not watching a hockey. Yeah, so. I don't really like watching sports on TV. No. I prefer live events.

I just find it boring. I just fucking aristocrat. Yeah, I prefer the live event. In the box, with stewed and a spread. So I don't want to make it sound like we're like, I'm watching fucking Titanic bitch. Like we go over a movie and I'm like, I can watch that, I can watch that.

So I don't want any places again. Sit down. We decided on a movie, we'll watch a movie. We go to the movies, we saw the blackening the other day. We did. Right, yep, that was fantastic. Are you guys Koffman Studio people over at a story? We go quite a bit. Good movie theater.

But the movies that we like are only in there for one day, and then they take them out. Like I wanted to see Sizu. Okay, now I'm out of on that. It's like a revenge kind of movie with Nazi, like going against the Nazi. I think it's a Norwegian guy that killed a bunch of Noses, but all that you know, this theater is a little bit Yeah, I think it was a price is right here something like man hunter movies. I think it's like Tarantino. We like Okay, you know kind of that. Yeah gotcha now if you're how does the

You know, kind of that. Yeah, gotcha. But yeah. If you're, how does the domain break up in there? Say there's a hockey game on, there's a TV in the living room, right? I so in TV. One TV. One TV. So I go and look at TikToks in the bedroom.

I send it to the bedroom with that. On your phone or on the computer? On my phone. On your phone. On your phone. On your phone. On your phone. On your phone. On your phone. On your phone. On your phone. On your phone. On your phone. Anybody's on TikTok on their computer. I don't know. It doesn't hit the same. Okay.

Yeah, most apps. Yeah, I just, it's easier to do mindless scrolling. Sure. And I share quite a few with friends. And we never reply back to any of the memes. Just hey, check this out. Yeah, check this out on your own time. Or if you don't, if you don't feel like it.

So if you're watching something, if Joe's watching a hockey game, you're in the room watching TikTok. Yes, we're doing some maybe light work, but most likely TikTok. Sometimes those Sarah will work, because it's one better apartment. So Sarah will work at the kitchen table,

which in my eye line, the TV's here, and our heart is very open. So I'll just have like the Bruins playoff game here. There wasn't many of them this year. And then Sarah's facing me like behind the TV. I'll stare it. I'll stare it out. And then she'll be like, um, it's weird

when you see like a boat that looks like it's far away. I'm like, what? Come on. We're out of power play. I'll throw that out. I got a nail pointer going here, lady. I'll start a sentence in the middle. I'm like, I don't think they're gonna find these Titanic guys.

I'm like this. What? Like a what? Go! I missed you. You gotta shirt off. But often I think, too, this is happens, too. Like you enjoy watching TikTok.

So sometimes it just works out. It's like, I like, I wanna watch a movie. Yeah, I don't mind at all. Well, you guys go on your phones in bed when you're laying in bed together before you go to bed Will you be on your phone and him be on his phone? No, he's a reader I try to be son of a bitch. Don't be getting out of here. I try to read I have that power stroke will go on on right now my girlfriend

We're trying to get away from the phones She's reading but I'm on I'm I'm strolling through Yeah, yeah, but Sarah goes to bed nine hours later than I do we're not We shouldn't be together. It's so we wanted to have you here. What I figure what the hell's going on I break this up once in for all we're hoping a kid will save That always works out shout out to the hell Mary, but yeah, no, I go to bed at Break this up once and for all. We're hoping a kid will save the relationship. Well, that's all that's all that's all that's all that's that always works out. Shout out to the hell Mary. But yeah, no, I go to bed at 1215, wake up at 815.

Sarah goes to bed at six. I'll haunt. Yes, when Joe's out of town, my bed hours get later and later to if he's gone for at least seven days, I'm at six in the morning. What? I just prefer, I've always liked night, or like doing stuff at night.

I also don't start my work at 2 a.m. Geez, what are you, a fucking private eye? I procrastinate, it's everything including going to bed. Yeah, it's like, I'll go to bed tomorrow. I'll go to bed tomorrow. All right, so if you go to bed at six, are you sleeping in two spots? I get no, I can sleep. It rolls right out. I know I got a 12 50 at the lounge. I can wake up at like 10

30 or sometimes around that time. I'll do noon at the latest getting four to six hours sleep a night. That's fine. No, it's not. I don't think so. No, you got that on like worse case. I come to wake. Joe is good for me as if I go to bed. I'm going to be able to. I'm going to. We got there. I come to wake Sarah. He's like positive influence on my time management. And I come in happy. I'm one of these morning. I'm like, yeah, you're doing it. Yeah. And then at bedtime, I'm like, I should take my home. He gets baby. I'm there, buddy. He nods off like this on the couch. He's like, like a little baby.

Does anybody fall asleep on the couch and sleep on the couch for the night? I've never, maybe like twice in my life as I've gotten older, I'm not a fall asleep during a thing person. I'm like, I need to go to bed. Or else I will fall asleep. Like I'm never a guy who's watching a movie and he look over and I'm like,

I'm like, I feel extremely sleepy. I need to go to bed. More recently I guess. Anybody got a CPAP? No. No CPAP? Not there yet. Okay. Yeah.

Fully in this sexy line of questions. Happy Pappy? You guys ever slip on your compression socks? I just got some though. You did? Some compression socks. There you go. Where when you fly when you fly yes, they're good Well Sarah's blowing up like a balloon

I know that's the big you you're pregnant you guys are having a goddamn baby big news I threw it in there by there I mean a cup and then they with a team of scientists It was for an assist All you to scrape it up. Yeah, Joe list on the bounce pass No look behind the back What's a baby do? October 30th congratulations. Thank you. You know, we love you both That's what they have said it. Yeah, super excited. You had mentioned it to us the last time you were in there when the last time

We were on the old side. I forgot or or didn't hear, and then I thought we thought that you would do like very soon in the summer. We were still trying at that point. Okay. Yeah, we've had a few dying behind as we said. Yeah, couple kicked off. Couple of man shots are mine to see. Toby's making a face.

Okay. Toby, dump this. Toby looks horrified. This is life streaming by the way. Couple of diamonds. I'm surprised. He says, Oh, sunshine and rainbows with you, huh?

Like, like, grapes too. Like an old bit. Well, they do compare it to fruit, right? Of course. Now it's a banana. We're in a banana phase. Oh, yeah. Yeah, well they do compare it to fruit, right? Of course. Yeah, it's a banana. We're in a banana phase. Oh, yeah. Yeah, congratulations.

Thank you. So what's the, all right, so come October, are you guys, are you playing on saying the same apartment you're in? Or what's the, what's the shift here? We're moving on up to the upstairs apartment. We're going up the floor, baby. Two bedroom floor. Two bedroom.

Nice. Yeah, like you're building. You like you're building you like your area. I love my building. We live withbedroom. Two-bedroom. Nice. You like your building. You like your building, you like your area. I love my building. We live with all comics. Our landlord's the best. And I get, Tariya, I think I'm about leaving.

It's the proudest accomplishment of my life, our apartment. I love it. And I got all buddies and we got Ron on Hershberg in there. I have a Palufo and Steve Rogers. And you like the area. Can you see the kids going to school out there? No, not really. I can't wait to get out of here. I can't wait to get out of here.

I'll see what are you talking about. New Jersey. Hi. I don't know you guys are from Philly. Yeah, that's close. We're not going to South Jersey, but still. Not animals. Not cherry hill folk.

We're not in a Molly. The plan is to move by getting a house out in Jersey. Yes, suburbs. That's my plan. Sarah's got her own plans, but she's moving to Tucson. Like Jersey, Jersey. I was in Texas for a moment. Yeah, you would think we got your family there.

It's cheap, though. I mean, we went down there, we were kicking around an idea. Yeah, you go down there, you still, you get a couple of drinks and you start looking at the zillow, you're like, it's pretty hard. Yeah. Well, you guys can go to Texas together. Like if the, if's pretty hard. Yeah. Well, you guys can go to Texas together. Like, if the, if Sarah, if Sarah, me and Norman got a place in Texas, let's go.

Oh, that's all touchdowns at hand job, but I can't leave my name. Absolutely. He's my bread maker. I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy's my bread and butter. You can probably get him down there. If he gets me, too, straight to Texas,

we're all, we're all good. I'm not used to the very gubwe. Oh, I like it. two straight to Rogen High-bound Houston for a W I like it. I want to be near the shore. I'd like to be an hour from the city, half hour, 20 minutes from the beach, go to the beach, walk the board walks. Is that a possibility in

Jersey, in North Jersey? Yeah. Yeah, there's beaches up there. There's like short, you know, shorepoints or whatever. Red bank was Massachusetts ever on the table. No, my family is a little. I tried to keep this up. They might want to.

The heart grows fonder. Yeah, of course. I have a nice distance from people you hate, but I'm joking. That's a joke. That's a joke. I love Massachusetts, but I like to be near New York and. In a perfect world. Could you cohabitate with Cyrus' family

if you guys are like in the same, within a 20 minute house. No. Not the same house. No, what are you not doing? Not the same house. No. No, as a sister lives a few blocks away. I'm closer with Cyrus' sister than she is. My sister might move into the apartment downstairs.

Wait, you sister lives here? Yeah, she lives like two blocks away. What? I didn't know that. Yeah. I barely see her. She's moving around building up. I would have made a move months ago. Yeah, she was like two blocks away. What I didn't know that yeah, I barely see her She's moving around building. I would have made a move months ago. Yeah Huh, she's moving into our old place to keep it in the family Yeah, you'll have a vet. Yes, all right, so night. Okay, so now this is shaping up all right first year with the baby You got your sister downstairs. Yes, now she's already obviously aware that, you know,

that's a helping out situation. I think so. I don't know. Is she, what is she though? Is she, is she is a data analyst for a really well-known company, but I don't want to say what is. Oh, of course. Okay.

And is she single or is she? She's single, but she's in a, she's in a long-term relationship. She like that, dudes. What's happening that dudes with that Hells happen I just Oh Fuck please say she's like six with

She like seepap machine But she have tasteful news on her phone I just want to know what her lifestyle is like is it I mean that's a great thing to have a support system So you're having any other family in the city Yeah, that's your that's your anchor with like the closest family members your sister But I think she's the kind of personality. Most of my candy for Joe She you have to plan quite a bit ahead to book her gotcha so there's no like can you take the baby? I got a spot. Yeah

I got to do a spot for eight people. It's very important. It's 45 minutes away from here. But we got friends in the middle. We got Palufo and Shoraju. Shoraju is a very nice people. I'll call her a non. Yep.

Are you gonna take them on the road? I'm game for road for a little bit. Uh-huh. But I talked to her a few times. You're gonna have one of those comedy club kids. You know what I mean? Pass them over. Bring them up on stage.

Do a poison. Oh, I don't wanna do that. We're not gonna put our kid in limelight situation. Okay. Have them on the baby Bjorn. Yeah. I'm thinking new spin-off podcasts. Yeah, I'm talking about that.

Yeah, that's a couple of clicks on it. Baby journey. There you go. Baby journey, yeah. When do you guys move into the new place? September. So there's gonna be like nine months pregnant. Okay.

Okay. Great time, Mike. Yeah, and then I think Joe's on the road the most. I'm gone about. It's a hefty September. Now are you going to do movers? Are you going to do it yourself? You got a couple of bucks now.

You guys are doing all right. Yeah, I got. I'd rather do movers. I think we're at a point we could just do movers. It's weird because it's an upstairs move. But my friend, who's a very wise man, said just a heads up. If you're moving across the country,

if you're moving upstairs, it's the same thing. Same price. It's the same, but move it. It's just, it's shit. You have to move it. It's just a annoying. Like you can't sell it in your head of, oh, it's just upstairs.

I'll carry the dresser off. Yeah. Right, right. And you gotta go movers. Yeah, I guess we'll go movers. Of course. And I'm sure you gotta do, what are you gonna do to the nursery?

I don't know. What do you do? What do you mean? It's gonna be good fellas' feet. It's Manchester by the sea. It's just fire painted on the... We do have somewhat of an underwater motif going on. We have a whale and an octopus painting.

Yeah. In the house currently. So it could be a Manchester by the sea. Yeah, I don't know. Let's not have to stay with England. I like the underwater thing. Couple of fishies and octopus. Fish whale. Yeah, we don't know. Let's not. I'm not stable in England. I like the underwater thing. Couple of fish. He's a lot of fish.

Fish. Well, yeah, we'll make it a little underwater. Bubbly thing. The scary part is his bedroom shares a wall with Ronan. And Ronan watches movies with the volume at 358. OK. He's got an next thing. It's Uncle Ronan.

He's got some saying. He got to have the support system up there. It's bad. I mean, it's literally guns and bombs and rock like I was called the cops one time Saving private Ryan I heard every day. He was watching a special on full volume It was atrocious. He was mean not the special not the special Oh, but like I could hear it all the way downstairs. We're like this isn't sanity. Yeah, yeah, so we're gonna have to Talk to I would I would, I would, I would,

I would like to move through the room, picture like a tree house over there. It sounds like there's a guy up here, a guy over there. You gotta come over so you can, I'd never been invited. I know what it is. We have little backyard,

we have like six seats. So you have the apartment itself takes up five and then it would invite, you know, Sarah's sister and then someone goes, hey, my boyfriend's in town. And so you fill fill up quick but I forget that you're down the street down the street yeah I really blew it uh you also when we so we just I have a slumber I'm laughing at his face you didn't look over the other action yeah I assume it was an I roll of some sort no it was the opposite it was was a dead stare. It was no high movement.

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I'm back to the show back to show. You hit us with it. We went to giggle about it all week in the airport. We brought the new on Friday. We were coming back from Columbus. You were going to Columbus and full. He's like, oh, what are you coming or going? He's like, I'm going. You're the only guys coming back on a Friday. Everyone else is going out to work. All right. Have a good weekend. Well, it's so exciting to say. We saw a show. It's a minute earlier. It is exciting. It is exciting. It is fun. It is fun. It is a good time.

You feel like everyone's doing stuff. You're only in the airport. I mean, dude, come on. It's fucking fantastic. It's exciting. Bumpin' in the plus the LaGuardia is real nice these days. It's beautiful. I like the Delta Lounge.

I like the Delta Lounge. I'm not a fan of the Lounge. You're not? I wonder if you're the same beef as me. We like the MX Lounge though. Excuse me. There's an MX Lounge. In JFK there is. The Centurion lounge.

Yeah, they're nice. Yeah, it's very nice. Open bar. No, I don't, I like to go order the food I like to order when I go to a lounge. Like before I get on plaintiff, I'm like, I want a burger and a beer, that's what I want. So I'd rather just go pay for that.

Whereas like you're just at the whim of whatever shitty food. It's like a bad wedding or a communion party It's like well my good me better food my big beef with this is my 1100th time on the show so everyone's well aware. I'm a pretty garbagey guy and my beef with the Delta lounges They're trying to be they're like you're in the lounge you must be something but some of us are just white trash people that travel a lot Yes, so I'm like give me a fucking hot dog. Give me a fucking hot dog. Yeah, chicken's all said. Let me make my own sandwich. Yeah.

It's all cheese no letters. Yeah. It's like, so I watch me. There's like drizzled, it's everything's drizzled with something. Yeah, butting. There's no like proper scrambled eggs and bacon. Like you can't just, you can't get what you want. You get like a parfait with a whatever.

And it's like, I also, I have a very shitty palette. I want a bacon egg and cheese or something. Are you one of the all-time picky procedures, would you say? I thought so. And then like, my family's worse than me. Donnelly's worse than me. There's one thing to do that word. Donnelly's got a pretty bad, although he's, she's trying it.

I was all, I was very bad. My wife forced me to get out of Lee's got a pretty bad. Although he's she's try it. I was all I was very bad. My wife forced me to get out of my comfort zone a little bit. Well, I'll try most stuff, but I am a very, I like these 15 things. That's what I want. What's it like when you two go out to dinner? If you guys go out to dinner, is it? Well, you do a nice dinner? Well, you go to like a nice steakhouse. It's usually Italian. That's our base. That's our common ground.

Okay. Where are you going over in a story? Where do you go in a story for a nice Italian? Sacks. Sacks. Okay. Underneath the Kaufman Studios. Um, what's the other one that's by Michaels? We've been there.

That was pretty good. Oh, Bartolinos. Bartolinos. Very nice. And then there's a Greek restaurant that I like on Broadway. I got it. Yes. Okay. Is that what you said? I'll be out of it. Yeah. El Bambino's nice over there on 31st Avenue. We like that. Who Christine is real good. Um, we take no. Chair. Like you shared anything with Sarah. She really knows me because you like such different things. Yeah, but will a Caesar salad

What's with the brain Post but we'll go to a steak house and eat steak See I'm like I'm picky, but I'm like I will eat broccoli asparagus You just said caviar and oysters. I'll eat and whale. I'll eat and- You'll try. Pussy. I'll try. How is that?

Right in there. Not great. Oh, chewy. Depends on the season. Depends on the artist. Jose Feliciano, he got no complaints. Anybody? Yeah, of course.

Thank you. Jose Feliciano can't walk down the street. But anyways. Yeah, we go out. We like Panera. Panera head. Yeah. Chinese food will get Chinese.

What's the go to order at a Chinese place? This is at the house. I'm all general style. Yeah, I'm putting the Chinese restaurant. Yeah. Got right. Got right. Yeah, I'm, I'm caught right.

These are all jokes, right? This is coming off as Joe. Oh, what are you? Whoo. Get out of these lights. Yeah, I'm caught right. These are all jokes, right? This is coming off as Joe. Oh, she is. Whoo. Get out of these lights. We have a big sign filled, uh, follow, uh, listenership. What do you get at the, with a Chinese spot?

I like, um, the eggplant thing. I know exactly, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's good. I like veggie dumplings. I like crab rag you're talking about. It's good. I like veggie dumplings. I like crab ragoon. Of course. It's a fucking dozen. Me, Joe.

Really? I'd never had it, but I like crab goo. Do you like cream cheese? Not really. Really? Yeah, I like cheese. You like imitation crab meat? No, I'm not a big crab.

Yeah, then you would hate it. That's what it is. It's a combination of imitation crab meat and cream, I'm not a big crab. Yeah, you would hate it. That's what it is. It's a combination of imitation crab meat and cream cheese. Yeah, I like that. I don't like a spicy chicken with white rice. Okay. Do you use chopsticks or the four? No, you're good.

I bought chopsticks. I have hair with disown you if you did. I will eat with chopsticks every now and then. Like non-Chinese food? No, just Chinese food. I can see that. Chicken butter with chopsticks. Yeah. That can see that. Chicken par with justice. Yeah.

Scramble legs. Just regular. Well, Sarah's the first, she can be like, a surprise man, and we'll just, I'll just bring food. Like, there's times where Sarah's been late or something, and I just order a meal. And then she's like, great. That wouldn't fly with you.

No, not so much. She would probably know what to get you with this. Chicken par. Maybe. I love a chicken par. Chicken par. Exercise. chicken farm. Chicken farm. Extra sauce. Even our pizza, I know when we get pizza, what slice that I go for versus him.

You got to give it to him. What's that dynamic? No bubble. No bubble. I won't be caught dead in your bubble. I'll send it back. I'll call him. I'm like, get back here, pal. I'll say, I would or it back. I'll call them, I'll get back here, pal. Sarah, I would have no bubbles.

And you got to see some sauce coming out. I'm a big sauce, extra sauce, everything. How does that stop? Never heard of anybody who I've never heard anybody would order pizza, extra sauce. Oh, you got to. Really? I've never heard of that.

I've never heard of that. The dough bubble's crazy. Well, tell them about the french fry thing. This is Sarah, this this blows Sarah's mind. Oh yeah, this was a culture, a family culture thing. Joe's family orders fries with their pizza. And I just always thought that was like, oh, you can't do that.

Someone brought this up yesterday too. Of that fuck thing to do to me. Steve Rogers said the same thing. He's like, I never heard of that. Did your family invent this? No. That's dirtbag Irish tradition. So break that down to me.

Me and like the pizza is the pleasure, the guiltiness. And then you get a salad to be like, I guess in our minds we think it. Pizza and a salad is nice. Yes. I'm not even worried about that. We'll do cheese fries. We'll do like a large pizza and cheese fries.

You will? There we go. My family? Yes. I respect it. And we're all home and Philly. That's what it is. It's like we'll go with a couple of pizzas.

Someone will get like, I'll probably a chicken par, they'll split that with somebody maybe, and then there'll be the three, four orders of fries. Wow. Yeah, I respect it. I was a full desire. We never would cross those two. Can't full of fries and a pizza.

I have a pizza. They're on the menu. A plate with fries. Exactly what I said. It's like they're on the menu for 350. Fucking, yeah. Who doesn't want a couple fucking tables? So you're telling me you're growing up.

It's wild. You're growing up. It's a Friday night to list house. Hey, we're getting some pizzas. And buffalo wings. So wings like. And they're like, boom, got your right handed dirt bag.

The wings I get. Yeah, we're putting on TGIF. Little full house, little step by step. I got a plate full of fries and a couple slices Not a piece of green in the room. Yeah, yeah, this is what throws me off the dynamic of the ketchup on the French fries Which I assume yes of course and the and the marinara sauce on the pizza. That's right. Yeah, it's too they clashed to me How about this? Well, I have members of my first first of all, we call ketchup, Irish, marinara. Sure. And I have members of my family that for many, as children, they kind of grew out of it, dipped the pizza right in the ketchup.

Oh, yeah, no, that's not that far off. That's happened in my circles for sure, for sure. There you go. I was, my mom just came up and we're, my family's very dozen, the parents generation, the kids a little bit more, but like, I don't think my mom's ever had like Indian food, like we were picking out a restaurant they go to.

No, and then they just do that. And it was just like, you won't. My, my family? No, you, I've eaten Indian food once in Houston with you and then once in London. And I didn't mind it, I should eat it more. Yeah, chicken teacum salad is a great place in a story. That's the best of my-

That's the best of my- That's like you can't go live. Yeah, that's the best. It's chicken sauce on white rice. Yeah, I've had Indian food eaters, but my parents have certainly never had Indian. Yeah, I don't think so. Never had Korean food, Indian food, Greek food,

for 100%. We tried to take my mom, we wanna take my niece and nephew to this Korean barbecue place where my mom lives. And we're like, Mom, we're gonna go Korean barbecue. Yeah. No. There's some stubborn about it. Yeah, no.

And Abba's outback maybe. Korean food. But it's so fucking good. Korean fried chicken. Forget about it. It's the best. And I'm like, you totally are missing out and you would love it. Love it fried chicken. Forget about it. It's the best and I'm like, you totally are missing out and you would love it. Love it.

You would absolutely love it. Weird. Yeah and it's been, dude, the Korean bar, it's just meat on a grill with some salad and stuff like that mixed around. My family's like that was fish and chips. They're like, oh, I would never. And I'm like, it's a burger.

It's not even, you would eat it and not even know. The chicken tender is one of the best. Fish and chips. Yes, they're like, oh my god. Man, that's a really low ceiling. They think, they think, they think, they think, they think I'm Anthony Boydain for eating fish and chips.

They're like, that's crazy. I'm like, it's a chicken tender, you know, knucklehead. We also love, can't do spicy. So even like, just regular black crack pepper that we love to have fun with that with your mom. Well, I brought my mother to Chipotle one time. She got the mild, which is literally tomatoes. She was like this.

Woo! Woo! She's like, I'm on fire. I'm like, you're eating tomato. It's guacamole, like, and I like hot, but I doused it with hot sauce. I like a spicy meatball. Yeah.

And she's like this, and she's like, ooh, it's got a kick. And it's literally like table pepper. That big. Whatever you call it. There's people that are like that, though, and I'm like, I am so fascinated by you. It's wild. That you're like this, eyes are watering.

Yeah. No. It's huge. It's huge. It's huge. It's a piece of bubble gum. She's on the floor. I can't. Piece of big red. She's out of commission. Shit. My mouth is pice. It's like bear spray. How do you guys get along, say? You get along with Joe's mom? Yeah, I love Joe's family. Yeah. Yeah. They're fun. They're fun. They're like, yeah, they're fun. We play games. It's all games at my house. Drinking in games.

Yes. There's no, there's not a guy from We play games. It's all games at my house, drinking games. Yes. There's not a guy from the same cloth. 24, seven hanging out. Yeah. Like where my family will do four hardcore hours and then we rejuvenate on our own, do our own thing for another four hours and then come back together again.

This is at the house at your parents house. Yeah, like we go to Maine every year. It's sunrise to sundown. It's all 38 people. And if you go to like the bathroom or whatever, it's like every, like, it's like a game of televised. We're like, where's Sarah? Where's Sarah?

Sarah goes to one of them. Can I not take a shit? It's not. And it's gay. And it's gay. Be gonna deal for a movie. That's not a bad deal. Check it out for the July baby.

32% baby. Yeah. Home run of a flick. I loved it. Thank you. That's a- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH What do you guys been up to? How's things? Sure. Okay. Huh. Not good. That's... And Sarah's family, it's like you gotta know your 1300s in your development. We're doing four hour Joe Rogan podcast. Really? You're down, your parents house, they have a pool, right? No.

But it's the house that you told it. The house that... How did I grow up and how to pool? And then we downsized when I graduated high school to a house It didn't have a pool, but in every we call it villages Mm-hmm They have each village has its own pool community pool. Yeah, well you go down there When you guys go down there do you stay at your parents house? Yes, we stay yes, we stay with my mom in your old room

Pretty much so yeah, that's a new house. It's not the house you grew up it It's not the house I grew up so I was in several of those rooms as after I graduated yeah Because at that point kind of like living on my own in certain areas And then I would always come back and then when I did come back was in a different room and will you guys do breakfast with stars? Yeah, I can't go back to your old demons at all. I won't do it Well, you guys do a family breakfast. Like if you're down at her moms, will they be like breakfast on Saturday morning?

Maybe Saturday she'll make breakfast, but usually she works so we get up a little later. Well, the first thing that Joe kind of picked up on was this sleeping over. My parents don't, they don't, they yell. This is gonna be good. Well, my dad used to be like, Sarah, breakfast is ready. Like we're children. Yeah my dad used to be like, Sarah!

Yeah, like we're children. Breakfast is ready. Like we're children. Yeah. And he'd be like this, like in your 30s and he would still do it, but my mom would be like, Sarah breakfast is nearly ready.

Breakfast is nearly ready. So then he just does that the whole time in our house right now. Yeah, she's like a British intellectual. Sarah breakfast is nearly ready. And we have to go down to school. It's good, no? The best way I can sum up my hanging out with Sarah's family is

that George is at dinner with Jay Piedermen. And he goes, what about sports? You like sports? Yeah. That's what it feels like. We literally are talking about like the Czechoslovakian government in 1985, economic, and I'm like this. How about Jordan?

You ever see any Jordan? He can really fly. Guys, watch the last dance. What's happening? I like Mike Lupica. I have to say I can't really hang in those conversations as well. It's like, whoo. It's heavy, yeah. No, for sure. We would play trivia pursuit and it would just be my dad and I with one pie piece for four hours. And then my mom and my brother would just have,

their whole thing filled up. These are very smart people, a lot of readers. Readers, readers. And I feel like in my family, I'm pretty, in like smart. Yeah, I read books, Jerry. But these people read, they're reading like, book, heavy books.

Dance, yeah, information, not an auto layout. What are you reading now, Joe? I'm reading the goddy wars. I think it's called about goddy getting taken down I was like five books and certainly works. I'm also reading them up and he reads a little bit next to the bed I'm also reading Tarantino's newest book and then the one about cinema and then cognitive behavioral therapy I got to be working my brain all the time. I gotta kill myself. And what are you reading?

Well, I've had... Vanderpump rules. That's the Vanderpump. Waiting. No, I've... I... There was one book. I read Homo sapiens, and then I was like,

let me get the second book, and then I got Homo Deuce, and I've been reading that slowly for about three years. Okay, and take it time. You don't want to fucking overlook yourself. So you guys are starting to get into the pattern that you want to where you're both reading as you go to bed. I'll hit spurts.

I'm trying, but I can't. I'll do Pinterest. That's my wind down activity out of the social media app. It's quite the phone, huh? It's bad. I'm embarrassed by it. I'm bad, I mean, I don't want to make it sound like, I mean, I just got this book and got fired up by it, but I'm bad. I'm embarrassed by it. I'm bad. I mean, I don't want to make it sound like, I mean, I just got this book and got fired up by it,

but I'm bad. I'm bad alone. When I'm with people, I'm very good about the phone, or pretty good about the phone. When I'm on the road by myself, though, it's brutal. I'm just brutal. I find myself on an airplane,

like just going through old people or whatever, like if I don't find the wife, I'm just fucking looking. Just looking, and I'm like, what am I doing? I'll look at the guy's phone next to me, if I'm having a go. I know that I have work to do that I could do, and I'm like what am I doing? I'll look at the guy's phone next to me I know and then I know that I have work to do that I could do and I'm just refreshing Yeah, I'm like I should be listening to set something I'm in the plane for two hours I should be doing something productive not trying to

Load Instagram on a shitty Wi-Fi signal. It doesn't load It's bad. Is there ever a vacation where it's just you guys if you guys go on other than the honeymoon? Oh big time we went to Wales. We're going every year and then Sarah wanted to have a fucking baby. The fuck this whole plan of. Yeah, we went to Paris. We went to Wales.

Yeah, you guys were traveling last year. They were like traveling. We're a big, big travel. I got to travel. I go crazy. I'm just gonna bring the baby. I can't, I guess I can't. That'd be great for the baby.

Yeah, well culture. Yeah. What are you doing Paris? What are you eating over there? We went to Paris, we spent a week there. I took Sarah for a 40th birthday, she took me nowhere. I have no money. That was supposed to be a laugh.

And nobody laughed, it got weird. We actually did go to Palm Springs for my 40. We did. On Joe. On me. Yeah. Exactly, the other couple didn't ship any of it, but is that true? They forgot they take care of us. Yeah

but You're fans of yours by the way, so they'll hear this your parents, but No, we wait this keeping tabs on fucking well. Yeah, what do we do if it's a $7,100 house? The tabs on fucking well. What do we do if it's a $70, $100 house? You know what I'm saying? Eight fucking thousand. If we talk about it, it's easy. I told him a grin.

He didn't have a coke. All time favorite lunch. Well, Paris, we walked a ton. We went to the Eiffel Tower. We went to Notre Dame. We went to Shakespeare and Co. Nice. Yeah, it was funny because I was like, we're in Europe. We should have cigarettes and Sarah just ripped like two packs in about a half an hour

That was while I'll start ripping eaters. It was this that's what made me slip back going over there. It's romantic I was at a wedding with Spaniards. I was like fucking there a little bit better for you over there, too Oh, is that right? Yeah, it could be no, no, no, they're not there. No if anything they're worse I was like Griswall when he gives the kid the beer and he looks over Looks like it's gone. I was like Jesus We went to the Louvre and we went to the Parisie stuff. What do you mean over there? Cresson's almost exclusively We do like to ham and cheese. Cresson are just straight regular. Cresson get pump freets. Yeah, there you go. I did cheese platters

regular croissant. You can get palm freets. Yeah, there you go. I did cheese platters. Yeah, what else do we eat? Pastries, a lot of pastries. Do fondue. We do a little fondue. I'm gonna do fondue.

Yeah, I don't remember. I don't remember what we ate. Yeah, I don't remember. It's not a pastries. They're an odd pair, aren't they? Yeah, probably McDonald's. We do love them McDonald's. Our honeymoon we ate in an out burger every single day.

Oh yeah, yeah. That's love, fast food. Yeah, that's what you both like. Yeah, no, it's your week, your weekend, whatever it is. Well, you guys order in fast food to the house? No, we walk by a McDonald's every night, and I'm always so proud of myself that I haven't stopped by in there.

Yeah, because I feel like once you do, then it's easier the next time and the next time. But I love McDonald's every now and then. Yeah. It's the best. It's the best. I did get delivered to the house. The day I got back from LA.

Yeah. So I have before. Oh, it's so good. Yeah. The delivery is not great though. Yeah. It's the best. Yeah, it is pretty good.

Yeah. Because when I was living on 35th Street in the story, I'd walk by that Burger King story of Boulevard every night and I would stop at the drive-through window. It was when they were doing like 10 burgers for a dollar. It's been like, give me, give me 20. Yeah, it's pretty fun. We picked up to beefcake gay men

and drove them through the drive-through one time years ago, late at night, because they didn't have a car. It's their charity. They didn't have a car and they were like like real like beefy, beef like 240 pound like bodybuilder with you guys with like the string tanked up like down to here. And they were in line. And I got a little annoyed.

They were in line like on foot. And then they sent it, they can't do that. You get dangerous, whatever. And I said hop in boys. And I took them to the drives-through and we ordered food. And then they didn't give me a proper thank you really yeah they would have picked up the dad they offered to buy anything no and even then they get out of the car they were like good and I was like I thought they should have been blowing

that's why I don't help anybody anymore just at one time that's too gay guys a burger gang never again there's a big believe we're not helping I am you just get caught in their drama and then they want you to help more. I don't disagree with you, yeah. So I stopped helping people. It's a key to happiness. It's a key to suffering health. Sarah.

If you ask help, I will, if it's within reason, but I just feel like it's messy. Yeah, no, it doesn't always end well. My thing, I want to get back to what we've been talking about on the show is speaking of the reimbursement for the trip. Well, you guys send Venmo requests to somebody if they owe you money. No, I don't know.

Like say, if it's been discussed. Okay, if they were like, hey, I just shared a lift with a girl that I had just met that night and we were both going back to a story and she's like, send me the request after, because I got out first even though it was my account. Okay.

So, I requested her. Yeah. But no, it feels odd. She did immediately. Yeah, it comes off as tacky, I feel. Yeah, I'm not. Unless it's set up the way you're talking. Yes.

Yeah, no, I'm bad with it. I've had people buy, I sell shirts on the road. I'm sure. You'll be like, oh, I got $12 and I'm like, all right, just, Jesus, you losing money. Yeah, I'm about to start team bucks. Yeah, now I've never Venmo requested it, but I'm not, I'm paying more than I'm owed, I feel like, on Venmo. Yeah. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. People shit on couples that Venmo each other back,

but sometimes I just feel really bad that Joe takes do you guys do that? I've been mo him, but I don't I don't See a transaction I'm gonna ask you but you guys to give it keep everything separate like just Joe as is a count you have your account Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get any my money. I did the same thing me and my wife didn't do it And then she had we had a renewer green card and they were like yeah, yeah, I did the same thing me and my wife didn't do it and then she had we had a renewer green card And they were like yeah, yeah, you should have each like have a mortgage and all the way we didn't Unite anything and they were like yeah, you have no actual paperwork no assets as a couple nothing

Yeah, well my car is under your name because I don't have any credit. You didn't have good credit I did my wife was out of state. Yeah. So we put it on mine. He's still our school. And I bought my car, I got straw purchases on a Corolla. Yeah. Sarah goes in with a fake Mustang. Hi, I'm Joe List.

I'm here to buy a car. It was awkward because everything's in her name, but I bought it. So I don't know. It's gonna be ugly when we get divorced. Are you guys both on the lease? No. I don't think our landlord knows you live there. I don't know. I'm at least staring. I'm on the lease. I think I'm on the lease. I'm on the lease? No. I don't think our landlord knows you live there.

I don't know. He's staring. I think I'm on the lease. I'm on the lease. Oh, maybe you are. I don't know. The boot dock space over here. She boxes a cash and passports.

I haven't looked at the lease since 88. Our landlord's the best. But he didn't even do a background check on us. No, he's all of the mouse. Yeah. He would have never got it. He's just told. That's old school queen shit. Yeah. That's old uh, he's just, that's old school queen shit.

Yeah. Real neighborhood shit. I know what school great guys are. You got yeah, yeah, and shake deal or something. Yeah, he's great. He's the best and, um, but everybody always told, oh my God, it's so hard to find my dude. Go to a story yet.

You'll do it. You got to dig around a little bit and look a little bit. You will find some old couple that had a house that turned it in the three apartments that they live on the top floor of the ground floor and they're just looking for nice people to deliver. They don't give a shit. Well, that's what I forget because I learned so nice and he is so accommodating and he lets us bring in anybody.

We just say, hey, Caitlin, Palufo and Steve Rogers and he goes, great, but I think I forget that it's as hard to find good tennis. That's a good point for him. Yeah. I mean, they go months without having people in there and they're like, all right, there's X amount of thousand dollars. And the fact that you know them, not like you're on the hook for it, but it's like, you know, well, Joe knows them, you know, they're more than likely not to fucking skip out on

the rent. Ernie, like, you're embarrassing for us. Yeah, right. Yeah. And we don't drink. We don't party. We don't smoke. What? I smoke in the backyard. Couple of Stogies in the backyard.

Yeah. Never hurt no one. No. How this man long days work comes out as a cigar. You got that right. Oh, you guys come up, you guys smoke? Smoke shakes. I started smoking cigars at Cassidy's wedding. I was always kind of anti-hits.

I didn't feel like I deserved it and say that in a weird way. And then I had one of his wedding. I wasn't crazy about it. No, you complained about it. The whole, he was smoking, this fucking sock. How could anyone ever do this later on that night? You know what? Let me get another one of those to go. And yeah, it just took.

And then after that, I had like one a couple of weeks later. And then I had one at the World Series. And I was like a perfect amount of drinks to me. It was a, it was a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a a few of them all right. You got a come over. Yeah, they're all right Yeah, it's relaxing. Well, it's a very relaxing. They it takes an hour to smoke a cigar So every now and then there'll be somebody that's like you want to smoke a cigar and you're like we want to get home Yeah, yeah, so it feels weird to like you're like I'm not saying no because I don't want to smoke with you I just don't want to hang out an hour to mid the at 11 o'clock at night I got to watch Vanderpump rule

But let's do some let's do some garbage questions from the old Patreon over there. Okay, gang me sign up for patreon. It's your garbage question on the air. It's just the best way to do it Let's see this one's from Jason 10 dollar homie. Have you ever owned one of those touch lamps? Let's see this one's from Jason $10 homie. Have you ever owned one of those touch lamps? That you can like oh, I think I have them in the closet Different that's like that's a popper. Yeah, what I call that's a fairly feud. Yes, the buzzer look in the lights Those are tap lights with the batteries. Yes, we're talking about at a certain point in I think late 90s Technology. Yeah, you got rid of the twist on the lamp and you just touch the thing. It's like heat send it goes up and there would be like three different levels to it. No, I never had that.

Never. Everyone over getting you for the baby. A couple of those. I remember my stepmom moved in. She pushed. You made all of the lamps in the living room that what's the appeal? I'd sleeper. I but it's easier just a little thing. The hotel's had them for a while. Yeah, yeah. I don't touch them too hard and you go too fast. Yeah. Can I say that's online with the clapper to me? I don't trust the hotel USB in the wall. Never works. Also, what's the deal

with loose sockets? Yeah, so tell your iPhone charger in there and then they're just like, yeah, slips out. Like, I just had like, slutty. I had that. You dirty little bitch. That's what I always think when I'm like, oh, you dirty whore. Somebody who was plowing this out,

get in his bathroom and clean yourself up. That's what I mean. Yeah, I don't like that. Do you have a hotel that you'll stay at? Do you have like one that you try to stay at or you just wear every day throw you up whatever's close to the club? Usually it's whatever the club puts me.

Yeah, I hear about comics changing rooms a million times. Oh, and when you get in. And then you get in. And then you get an outlier situation of disgusting, but like, you know, I think we usually just stay wherever we got. Yeah, most clubs now put you in a decent position. A decent, yeah.

We're doing. I opened up, you're doing well enough whether or not put you in the, they do because they do have ranks of like, these are for these guys, these are for these guys, and these are for these, yeah. Yeah. I opened up for somebody years ago, and that these guys, and these are for these, yeah. Yeah. I opened up for somebody years ago,

and that was like my first four-year into that. Right, very classy gentleman. Yeah, and they put him next to the elevator, and he went right downstairs, and I can't do the elevator. I'm like, oh, I don't even know you could fucking do that. Yeah.

But they charge you or something. Yeah, no, I'm not a real assertive with the hotel, I go, ah, that sucks. Yeah, I had to do it once. I can't remember where we were, but it was basically a murder room. Yeah, it was literally, it was there was a Pittsburgh. Yeah, there was huge burns on the carpet. It smelled like, like, there had been a gang bang in there. Oh, wow. A few hours before. Yeah, you're like, the Mojo is off. I've done that once where I think like the none was in there. Yeah, dude, I didn't like it.

That's the only time. Yeah, I had to do it once in Houston. I walked in and it was like there was people in here moments ago. Like it still feels like on the sea. And there was like a cold bottle of water like half drink. I'm like, I can't do that. Yeah, that's like no country for old men. Fucking no.

Is it on a coffee table? No, still gold. Did you like that, Joe? I did like that I can't do this. That's like no country for old men. Fucking no, it's the list on a coffee table. No, it's don't go. Did you like that, Joe? I did like that, yeah. The movie, I'm sorry, I just went off thinking about like the bad hotels I've stayed in. But no country for old, it's a top 10 for me. I mean, that's like all time.

Comedy condos. Hate them. Awful and should be a, get rid of that. I mean, that's a fine thing. I mean, that's a good thing. I mean, that's a good thing. That's a bad thing. Denver's good, I just don't like that it's lost, you can still hear because I'm a snorer and then people get

Man, yeah, yeah, that's the ceiling. There's no walls don't go to the ceiling. Yeah, but that's great Actually, the air mattress in there is from us. We remember we bought and left an air mattress there They stole the air mattress. I think they forgot to bring us up Well, we started doing on the road because we travel with a gaggle of us We just started doing Airbnb's, which is a little nicer and sometimes cheaper than the especially if you're taking an opener with you. I don't know, you know what?

What I, it makes the hangs better. The hangs better. You got a nice living room. You're together. It's a, you can make coffee and shit like that. I'm not crazy about going back to a hotel room by myself on the one where, one right out there. I feel in the back of my head This is anxiety obviously but in the back of my head. I'm like they're gonna find me in here tomorrow morning

Which yeah, which yeah, we've all met in the front of it in front of a hotel I'm like anybody got eyes on the big man. Yeah, we're like no, we're calling Taxed everything and I don't always tell you me and tell me learn each other like in front of a hotel, and be like, anybody got eyes on the big man? Yeah. And we're like, no, we're calling, tax to everything. And I was like, it'll be me and Toby, they're like, all right, man, let's look in. They're trying to piece together

the night what happened. You know? No, I thought that 7-11, it looks like. I just, I didn't, I've used Matt Wayne a lot on the road, who's great. You guys know Matt? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wonderful. But he, we did Denver, comedy works together, we had the condo. That was fun. And then Tampa, side splinters has a new condo. And it's not the nicest, but the hotel isn't great. And it's further away.

So I was like, I'll just stand there. Sure. It's quite fun to have a roommate. That's great. That's what we love about the air. It's a young man. It's a hot hang in there. Yeah, the hang's a man.

Side splinters the best. It is. Oh, we were there right after you, I think. Oh, we got the pooch. The pooch. Yeah, Tommy Boochiani. Oh, yeah, of course. Shout out. The pooch. Yeah, Tommy poochie on it. Oh, yeah Of course. Shout out to the pooch. Oh, love the pooch. I can move her family to Tampa. I want to move to Tampa. Yeah, I've been saying that I could do that. I could do that. They beat Beach. They got coarse grass there. I'm a big grass guy. This guy

Crazy. No, no, you're not doing England. Grass. Crazy No, no, you're like New England grass I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I know, this is a special, I mean Tampa, it's like Tampa dumb dumb. I'm like Kentucky. I used to live there. He is not wrong. Then do, it's called the grass. It sucks. I know what kind of grass.

It's tough. It's grass. It's got a red grass. It's like a cat tongue on one side. It'll cut you. Texas has the same grass. But Tampa, it's more, it's affordable. You went to St. Augustine grass.

I think that's what it's called. Kentucky Bluegrass. Yeah, that thin softy. Yeah, it's very it's very flat down there. The ballpark is horseshit. The box logo is gay. Are you a big beach guy though? I like the beach. I like the beach. You could become a raise. You couldn't be going to raise games. Oh, it's a trash heap that place. No offense to Tim. I mean, I'd sell it to him. I mean, you just trashed Tampa for eight minutes. Well, but I love Tampa. Other than that, we're Tampa's fantastic. He's a fucking Red Sox fan. He can't, they're the same God, the individual.

I know, but I like Tampa because Tampa is a lot of northeast people. That's like the lineage is a lot of close extension. Yes, yes. That's like a step brother. Yeah, that's right. And I love science, blitters, and you know, big, big prize the best. Norman's batch, probably we didn't camp right. Right, right. If you run into somebody down there, like say somebody like if you're picking up a shirt or something like that, tap it to me. I went to the big and tall in

Tampa. And when we got down there, pick up a couple of guys rider and the guy in there is like, where are you coming in from? I come in from New York. I live in New York. I live in a story. Oh yeah, no story. I lived up there. Yeah, that feeling. It's like an extension of the city.

And the best cigar prices in the country. Low, Cuba's better than that. Very low, yeah. My backup plan is to move to Tampa and be a power washer. Or a stripper. That's TikTok, Tom. Yeah, I just, yeah. Or car detailing. Yeah, that's big deal. There's a video game that's all happened. Or cut strip. That's TikTok, Tom. Yeah, I just, yeah. That's our card detailing.

Yeah, that's big. Do you know there's a video game that's all happened? We're cut, lawns at abandoned houses. Your job. That guy's great, guys. Pretty good. Yeah, the whole video game is your job is you own a small power washing company.

You got like job. Oh yeah, Danny Brown was in here. You see results right away. Oh, it's the instant gratification. Yeah, but it's another one that's been killing me lately. The carpet cleaning guys. Oh, it's the instant gratification. Yeah, it's another one that's been killing me lately. The carpet cleaning guys. Oh, I love that. They clean the, they clean the orange it. Uh, like do you mean like the rugs? Yeah, it's black and they're just, there's the front of you. You know, it's like a, it's like a, a rug cleaning company and they're just, I'm scared. There's a truck over here. You know it's Steve. I don't even know your title.

Like a long story here. It's like a rug cleaning company and they restore rugs. They get like a rug, like a, Oriental rug. The nice Oriental rug that was like, just trash. A body was buried in it. Yeah, and they'll put it on this like, it looks like a baby pool and they'll just hit it with this

and that and power wash and then they take like a, like a, like a sucker. Yeah, Shammister Thirsty. They throw it away. Dude, it's nice. I'm always like they're doing like 40 hours of work for something that I'll give them a $10 profit. It feels like. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah. I think if they're expensive rugs, they probably do pretty well with that. You think so? Maybe. Yeah, I've always wondered.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm doing a dog and fucking rug doctor over here. I'm blown away by that. I don't like. Chosen reader. You're getting French fries and pizza. What do you talk about? And that's right. And if I spill it on the rug, I clean it myself.

I don't watch a guy. You watch it carpet cleaners. What's the world coming to? It's satisfying. It's perverse. All right, let's do a couple more here. It's always a good app when you barely get to the goddamn questions. Yeah, I really love you too. Well'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss.

I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss.

I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss.

I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not a boss. I'm not meaning like you can rinse your feet off with your flip flops on. Yeah, you can't do that with the sleep. You're doing new balances on the beach. That's right. I can't.

How you going in the water? Well, I take them off to go in the water. But then you got it. Wait a second. Cool. Then you're going back to the chairs with your wet sandy feet. Yeah, the socks on. It's bad.

Well, you put them back on on the beach. Before I leave, I put them back on. No, wait a minute. It's all sanded. Here's the big question. Very New England to me now. It's very like trash. Well, I just plan a fashion item.

Don't get out of here. And I also, there's something about a flip flop. A man hoof is disgusting. I can't wear a flip flop. And this is just me being from the 80s. It's good balls, dude. Hold on, here's the craziest part of that jelly Is it the only pair of sneakers you have with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have sand and you sneakers the rest of the time

You're at wherever you are clap it out. I don't know. Oh, you're crazy I will say the first few years of dating Joe. He was kind into water socks. Like water shoes. Yeah, what I mean, I still wear them because it's rocky. It's rocky. Like rock, it's like that. Yeah, and I, that's all I know. And you rock into the beach there. But they call it water shoes.

There's no beach in Maine, it's rocks. It's slippery and I mean, I just, yeah. It's gotta be on his hands. And I got, I got city feet. I'm not, I'm not walking around barefoot. I'm not a tender. Yeah, they're very soft. They're delicate Sure, and then I'm walking on rocks. I mean if you're never been to New England No, I'll give you that. I'll give you that for sharp and slippery. Yeah, it's bricks and shit in there. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah, huh

Those my dad used to wear aquasox like I rant, like he wore the mischews. He'd wear them like the grocery store or a church. Yeah, it was crazy. I saw him in his fucking... Fuck it, I don't like it, Ninja. I saw him in a shop right one time and fucking walked the other way, couldn't do it. Huh, all right.

Have you ever taken a bath towel or shower towel to the beach instead of a beach towel? From hotels, yeah. You gotta wear a hotel. Probably a hotel and maybe even a comedy condo. It sucks, and I don't know why it sucks. It's not a stick. It's smaller, it's thinner, it's rougher.

Yeah, it's not a beach towel. And even sometimes if the hotel has a pool and they're pool towels, they're basically just regular towels, which stripes on them. Yeah, you're not fooling anybody. I love, you know what I want, if I was rich, beach towels in my bathroom. Look at you.

Every time I go back to my mom, like back to old. They're luxurious. That's what I use in the shower. I mean, I think we can afford that. I wish I had 1399. I'm like, I think we can afford to go to a macy's. I've got an equinox membership for God's sakes. We're in the Delta lounge.

We're doing all right. If you guys have a matching set of towels at the house, like is there, if I walked into your bathroom, is there like the little bar with the two hand towels and the washcloth over it? No. No. She's turquoise, I'm brown.

Yeah. That's the, we were given them by his family and then I've never, I was like, well, now we're good. We were given them by his family and then I've never I was like well now We're good. We don't need towels for another 20 years. Yeah, well we get the house when we buy a house We'll probably have some letters of all that stuff whatever some monograms Yeah, my roommate got me really nice towels, but they got dingy pretty fast. I come over towels now There's a guest house. Okay Joe comes on all the towels.

Every towel you got, I guess. Are you really coming on the back towel? No. At a hotel. At a hotel. But that's like, guys don't know hierarchy of towels in the relationships. I've worn since I've been married.

Where you're like, that's the tea towel. There's some towels you come on. It's a tea towel. Well, like you just dry your hands off the tea towel. Hand towel. Hand towel. Yeah. But then I've seen guys kill, like you just dry your hands off the T-Town. Handtown. Handtown. Yeah. But then I've seen guys like swipe up like cool aid

messes with it. We're like, oh my god. They're great. I'll flip it over. So my girlfriend's not doing it, but I'll give the sink a once over with the handtown stuff. I'll stick it.

And then put it back. I'll live it. Now how do you guys feel about this? I go to the key. I go to the steam room. I'm at the steam room. You wear the towel in the steam room. Everyone's doing what the steam gets to the nose dripping. I blow my nose into the towel I'm wearing.

How do you feel about that? In front of people or about will you be by yourself? Well, that can do. I really got myself possibly to someone there and I'll throw it out there. So there's just a green snow gun that's out there. Yeah, that's not great. It's not great, but you have to,

when you're using those those you operate under the assumption I'll be throwing up No, dude what? Well, you guys the nose is running. I'm not gonna leave I mean, I think it's one thing to dab your nose but to like fucking to really get some get a motor behind that all right I'm yeah, I would say it's okay, and I'm, I'm pretty, that's this isn't a guy you want on your side when it comes to hygiene. I'm pretty nasty when it comes to in the hotel with the towels and the bed and the bed. I'll not blow my nose in the sheets on the bed, but I will, if I sneeze, I'll wait my nose with it. Oh, gotcha. I gotcha. Yeah. I know what you mean. And also, so you want on your side. It's the mountain. You wanted the hill. You want to die on Joe? No, but that I'll blow my nose with it. Oh, gotcha. I gotcha. Yeah. I know what you mean. And also, to see you want on your side,

is the mountain you wanted to the hill you want to die on, Joe? I know about that. I'll blow my nose and stuff. Also, if I happen to be in the hotel bed alone, and I ejaculate, yeah. That's staying there. Yeah. On the confriter, because they don't clean those as often.

Well, they should. No, they should as often well they should They should that's their mistake. Yeah Imagine going into a hotel room after you that's somebody walks in because this don't feel right I think I did by the way. I literally just did it you guys were in Columbus. I came the next day We had an Airbnb in Columbus. Oh, thank Christ on Christmas. Which we didn't get the deposit back for. No kidding. That's why I have a tight stick next to our bed.

Right, that'll kill him. Clean the cum scenes. Yeah, really. This is fucking, I don't care. I don't care. I have to store it over here. I come on you. Where there's leakage.

When there's leakage. Oh, you mean at the house, at your house, can I say this, the tight stain Stick and the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser might be two of the greatest products. The Magic Eraser, right? Right. They both actually fucking work incredibly. I spilled a whole hot dog on my jeans. What?

And I managed to do my laundry while we were in Chicago. And I was so amazed how much it got out of my pants. Yeah, yeah That's hide stains. Yeah, but I was basically just doing laundry in the stadium. Yeah, in the stadium while we were watching the baseball game Yeah, wait, where are we doing laundry? I thought you ran to laundry I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right.

I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right.

I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right.

I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I Thank you very much. You're two of our absolute favorites. Thank you. Everybody loves you. We can't thank you enough for coming in. Where am I in the all time appearances? Am I second, third? Time wise? Like a number one?

Yeah, you're up there. I think this is probably what, five? So at least four. At least five. I'm not as one or fourth. My third. Third. Yeah, I think Joe's at five and you're at three.

Yeah. All right. We love you. I don't think Joe's at five and you're at three. Yeah. All right. We love you. Yeah, I don't think anybody beats five. What do you guys got coming up? Hit it up. Plug away. Hit it up.

Okay, Irvine improv, July 13th through the 15th, and then San Jose improv, July 20th through the 22nd. Those are places I'm going to be. And I got a new special coming out August 18th. There you go. There you go. So go subscribe to my YouTube. Check out the previous one this year's material. and uh... i got a new special coming out august eighteen eight two yes ago subscribe to my youtube check out the previous one this year's material killing it's you already and i got another one called i hate myself so you got two hours to watch before

the new hour and uh... my youtube subscribe there one of the best one of the funnest thank you sar and then clombas oh i don't know what you like fourteen fifteen for the don't tell i don't know exactly where that is is, but it's Columbus and it's on my website. Columbus, go check her out. Of course. Two of the absolute best.

We love you both. Kip you what he got for. We're all over the road. We just announced and just announced 20 new cities. So get those tickets. Skip it up, gang. Those are going to sell out. Hopefully some of the venues are way too big.

So buy those tickets early. Bring the squad. Tell your whole goddamn family. All right, gang. We love you. Gang, we love you. And we'll see you next week. Poohies.

the venues are way too big. So buy this ticket early. Bring the squad. Tell your old goddamn family. All right, gang. We love you. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Pooh.