Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Joe Santagato Returns!

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Joe Santagato! You know Joe from The Basement Yard, Chrissy Chaos w/ Chris Distefano, Idiots of the Internet, Viral Videos, Stand Up Comedy ...and so much more! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG 2024 Tour Sign Up: https://shorturl.at/jrD24 Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Blue Chew: https://bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Oh yeah, that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that after good to be classy Yeah, after just a big old piece of trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties and new addition She's upstairs with the snowplow guy. Okay, don't ask any questions. Keep it moving radio is very loud up there My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
Starting point is 00:00:45 He's the CEO of RU Garbage. He's an international businessman, and he is the gummy bear band that look out for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in, as always. Rootin' tootin'. As always, please make sure you rate,
Starting point is 00:00:56 and you subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are... True to Root! Cookin'! Cookin'! Closing in on 200,000 over there. Let's go, let's go!
Starting point is 00:01:04 Shout out to it, and obviously I ain't gonna tell nobody in this room the greatest website of all time. Woo! www.patreon.com. Slash or you garbage, it's a goddamn life changer over there, gang. Oh, shit, please. A bajillion hours worth of content, I'm not sure,
Starting point is 00:01:20 but you can check it out yourself. And I have a nice quick shout out to our producer X Short and the old magic man makes us all look good works the ones that twos the threes and the fours He crosses the T's and he dots the eyes give it up for T-bone Mcscruff and Toby McMullin everybody What up boys? How are you bro? I'm doing great. We got a cousin Joey Came across the bridge to say hello For you boys. A shtria-dell. I bought a nice fresh cookies over there on the table.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Gang along here ain't lying, because we could be more excited ever incredibly. And I mean incredibly special guest. Back with us again today. He is the host of the Juggernaut podcast. He's a leader in the industry. The basement yard. Give it up for Joe Sanagato, everybody.
Starting point is 00:02:04 The kids here. Look out. He's an all unbelievable fucking intros, by the way. The basement yard give it up for Joe Sanagato everybody All unbelievable fucking intros Holy shit, thanks for coming buddy. They might only baseball this year work that out a little bit. Yeah, I mean like I said I mean came in here. I see the new setup. I'm like, all right Thank you, buddy you're're killing it, man. Congratulations. You're doing too shabby yourself there, big guy. Not too bad. It was a crazy year for me. I feel like the both of us at the same time. We did that episode, and then after that, it was just like,
Starting point is 00:02:39 oh, everything's like that. That's very true. We were both in the middle of the road, and then, whoop. Yeah, crazy then yeah crazy man shopping for golf clubs together Yeah, you get a title this year very nice you boys are going on the road you're hitting hitting the pike Yes, we are our first show is like in three or two days whatever the fuck it is like three days or something on Friday We have our first show really excited about that. I Like I'd like delayed doing like fucking live shows for so long But now I'm like super excited for and I get to do it with Frank for the show, but yeah, we're fucking
Starting point is 00:03:13 He's your childhood friend. Yeah, you posted a video that old almost made me cry. Did you see that? it's them to when they're like for making videos and like Doing what they do now and then shows them selling out like a four million person theater. I was like, why the fuck is this? Instead of me and you fighting in an open mic, yelling at each other? Over who gets kills on a scene. This could be us!
Starting point is 00:03:38 Yeah, we put that out because like we were trying to like convert the footage because I had a old camera that recorded on cassette tapes. Were you that kind of, you were those kids, always filming and they were just kind of dicking around making stuff? Yeah, we were just like dicking around, because you know like Jackass was popular, so we were like, dude, we should fucking ball up
Starting point is 00:03:56 a bunch of socks and throw them at each other's nuts. We just would do shit like that. Hey man, when it works, it works. Exactly. So we were like, we were doing that and then there was some sketches that we would do and we just liked you know doing it and so I went to this place like I had to drive all the way out to like this place in Jersey like pretty deep in Jersey the
Starting point is 00:04:14 most New York thing I had to drive all the way to fucking Jersey 47 minutes I think it was like 42 I'm never fucking doing this again. This is terrible, but you're new York Was all back though. I hate going to fucking Jersey do it. New Yorkers don't like it. I hate George Washington Bridge I hope falls into the fuck And the tunnel should explode and fill up with water. I hate it all of it sucks Yeah, we used to make videos when we were super young though. I hate it. All of it sucks. Oh, that's great. Yeah, we used to make videos when we were super young, though. We would record a bunch of shit.
Starting point is 00:04:48 And then, like, I don't know, like our friends were, when we were in high school, there was this elective class that they took that was like, you have to make a movie at the end of the year. So me and him were like, oh, we'll do it. We just did everyone's project for like three years in a row. But then he went away to college and shit. And I started doing YouTube and stuff. And then we started doing the podcast together like three years in a row But then he went away to college and shit and like I started doing like YouTube and stuff
Starting point is 00:05:05 And then we started doing the podcast together like three years ago and now like sick fucking do the thing Yeah, it's really fucking crazy. You go try not to think about it I do the same thing after the show. I'm gonna be like that's not Like all right fine now we can celebrate you got a new place Mm-hmm got a new place. Mm-hmm. Got a new spot. Did you buy it? You're renting?
Starting point is 00:05:26 What are you doing? No, I'm renting right now. Really? I'm renting. Yeah, I'm I think in the next couple of years, I do want to buy an investment property or something. I'm surprised you don't have four of them. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:05:39 Sharp kid like you? He is a shark. Probably on this building It's a show corporation I pay She's like thanks so much for the rent Appreciate it's going up next month about 30% tell putty. I said hello But yeah, no, I rent this place But I always like bounce around like apartments, too And I think that's why I haven't really like thought about buying
Starting point is 00:06:04 Like anything I'm thinking about like buying a house in the next like four years. Where would that be? Yeah? We burbs obvious like Jersey. Yeah Yeah, that's what everybody says so they move out there. It's like find a nice place a very nice backyard Maybe like Westchester or something. I definitely want Long Island. Garrison isn't bad. Definitely not Long Island. I don't want to go that way.
Starting point is 00:06:31 You don't want to go out to the island. No, I don't. What about Staten Island? The island's nice though. Staten Island is better than Staten Island. Jersey's got a better chance than that. Jesus. I like Staten Island.
Starting point is 00:06:41 I've been there. I'm not kidding. I've been there one time in my life. Yeah, it's crazy. New Yorkers just don't go. Or twice. Twice, I think. Because why though?
Starting point is 00:06:49 Unless you know people in Staten Island, which you don't. They would never be friends with those animals. No, but they go to high school there, and then they go to fucking the Staten Island College, whatever the fuck it's called, the College of Staten Island, or whatever the fuck. Talking about it like it's another planet. It literally is, bro.
Starting point is 00:07:03 One way in, one way out. It's the bridge. Gabagool University? You got to take a boat to get there. I don't know fucking know. Yeah, I've only been a couple of times. It's to do podcasts when Chrissy D was over there. Oh, yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:07:16 I like it out there, though. I like when you get over the bridge into, because to get back to Philly, I would go through the city, and that's become a nightmare. Like youilly, I would go through the city and that's becoming nightmare. Like you said, Lincoln tunnel, the GW. So I've been, I've been trying to outsmart it and go around and go, go over the Verrazano and then go through Staten Island. And when you get over there, you're like, oh, this is all right. I'll be honest. You're like, I'm an hour away from home. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Yeah. Just looking Google maps. looking Google Maps like just the distance he's so far my dude it's brutal when you're like you're like I've been in the car for an hour like I'll do I'll leave Jersey over the GW I get to Jersey and I've been in the car for an hour and I can see like I'm not even past like the Empire State like I can see where I left yeah and I've been in the car for a day yeah what the fuck is going on kippy's got he's got the quick out in case anything gets I live right by the GD right day. What the fuck is going on? Kippy's got the quick out in case anything gets jammed up in the city.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Right at the foot of the GW. He's gone. I bang a right on the floor. Don't call him. He ain't waiting for you. He's already made it abundantly clear. Look out your window and see if the traffic is really bad. Of course.
Starting point is 00:08:15 And I have my car parked right facing towards the apocalypse here, dude. I'm two lights and I'm out. Some gallons of water and some contact lenses. Kids gone. What's the new place like is it uh? Without divulging too much sure it's uh I it's a the best place I've ever lived in but like it's super nice
Starting point is 00:08:33 It's right on the water okay green point so it's got a beautiful view of Manhattan doorman doorman Rotating cast of doorman. I think is that good or bad? It's bad when Christmas comes and you're like, who do I pay for this? Gonna ask you that. There was times where I had the card ready to give to the guy that, cause there's two guys that I know when I go down there. This guy Ryan and the other guy who's,
Starting point is 00:08:55 honestly I forget his name right now. But like I know those guys. There's usually, I'm imagining in a building like that, there's tears. There's a guy that runs the doorman And then there's the you know the players and usually a lot of times in the mailbox or like at the front They'll go like hey, it's Jim like happy holidays from the staff Jim Joe Billy Bobby Tommy So they didn't do that and but like I there's a there's a yeah, there's a lot right next to
Starting point is 00:09:23 My building so that's where I parked my car. Okay. And those guys, and also this is kind of weird, but obviously, so it's like a valet because you text and then they bring your car up or whatever. And in my car was a card, and it had all of their names. But there was like 20 names, and I'm like, what am I doing with this?
Starting point is 00:09:42 I'm not doing this. It's all like their brothers and stuff. So that's our whole family. The two guys who I see all the time that work there, those are the ones that I'm like, okay. Would you agree some of them? Yeah, what do you agree? So, I bet you set a card. We talking gift cards here?
Starting point is 00:09:55 No, like envelope. Oh, yeah. Oh, envelope, okay. I just wrote like, thanks, happy, how are you? Oh, you do, you go that far? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a nice guy. He's a sweet boy.
Starting point is 00:10:03 He's a sweet boy. I go cold cash in hand. Oh, you just go, here you boy. He's a sweet boy. I go cold cash in hand. Oh, you're just going, here you go. I did something even try. I just did cash in an envelope. No name or anything. Just here you go. Not even sealed.
Starting point is 00:10:12 Like, get to it quick. Like, you wanted to track. I also didn't know the protocol with this because I'm like, I feel bad essentially having a valet every day and I'm like, I don't give them anything. Like, during the day. Sure. You can't have cash on me all the time to just give people, you know what I mean? Yeah, no, those guys operate in like an annual
Starting point is 00:10:30 or maybe like every now and then you hit them with something, but they operate on an annual tippin'. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So would you give them? I get, I got to know. I get the guy at the garage 150 bucks. That's good! Is that good?
Starting point is 00:10:41 That's real good. Because I also didn't know if that was good or bad. That's good, that's, I would say. Well, let me ask you this, what was the face you got? Did he see it or just saw the good? It's real good. Because I also didn't know if that was good or bad. That's good. I would say. Well, let me ask you this. What was the face you got? Did he say it or just saw the card? It was a card. I didn't want to.
Starting point is 00:10:50 You're handing them like what you're handing them off. That's 100 by the way. I literally, I gave it to him, I ran away. I was like, oh, fucking hope that's okay. I'm bad with that. Is that trashy to do? Like if I leave like a good credit card tip, I'll say here's 40 for you.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Yeah. Is that trashy? If you leave a good, you do good credit card tip, I'll say here's 40 for you. Yeah. Does that, is that trashy? If you leave a good, you wait, you do a credit card tip also? Oh, you'll say it? Yeah, I'll say it. Does that, is that bad? That's horrible. I want him to know I'm not a scumbag. That's so, that's so, that's so tacky.
Starting point is 00:11:15 You're a scumbag. But he's gonna see the receipt now. Yeah, after I left. That's so tacky. What's the point of doing it? Hey, you go, hey, there's- Joe, what are you talking about? Face throwing here.
Starting point is 00:11:23 The best would be if you go, that's 40 for you. He opens it up. It's 10 You like folded it up four times so he can't really like it's a it's a big one I feel like it's less about the waiter and more about the people you're with like that's 40 from me They didn't throw in shit No separate himself Separate himself from the rest of the group when he picks up the check. He goes, there you go, and then that's, hold tip him cash and then go, that's for you.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Let me ask you a question. Oh, I love this. If you're at a, if you're at a, if you're at like a dinner, let's say there's like four or five people, right? And everyone's just saying whatever. Is there, like what's the protocol there? Is it five cards?
Starting point is 00:12:02 Is it two cards, one card? We've talked about this. We have very strict rules on this big man. Okay You're talking you and for your boys. Yeah, okay friends from high school like that matters Are they workers? It's not like a professional seems every time I go out to dinner. I'm picking up the fucking jack of a being honest No, but like the four of us went to dinner like what's the if we would pick it up because there's three of us. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:26 I'm not going to make you pay for who's picking it up. How many cards are there? No, we have a company card. Okay. Okay. Oh no. Okay. So something not like that.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Yeah. That's not a company card thing. It's like, who are the four guys are they guys you grew up with? Yeah. Okay. So there are four guys you grew up with your tight squad. How do they do? How do they do? Everyone that has a normal job get afforded
Starting point is 00:12:45 Yeah, yeah, okay. No one. Do you do the best? Yeah, yeah, he's a prince of patreon But it's it's less like like it's less about that I'm more so asking now it's about that It's about me. I put it fits like but you're gonna pick up every every check No, no, you're not gonna pick up every check. You would hope that there's strong enough dudes that, okay, you know, say you go out to dinner. Multiple times.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Four times in a row, not in a row. But like a year, like, hey, Joe, I have, Joe got last one, then Steve gets the next one, Bill gets that one. To me, that's the gentleman way to do it. Or if it's a situation where you're doing much better than them, nah a job. We got it. You got you got the last two. We're gonna we're gonna chip in and get this one. Okay. You get stuck with a check a lot aren't you. No, actually, I like because I love restaurants and shit like that's where I'm willing to just
Starting point is 00:13:37 be like yeah I got like let's go have a good time. That's a good attitude. Like do whatever. And I my friends actually get mad at me because like I, what usually happens is, I have two different friend groups where there's two different types of shit happening here. And one of them is like, I fucking hate that. I'll let you know what's right and wrong, baby. Well it's obvious what's fucking wrong because- We have some pamphlets we can give you on your way out too. We have, this is the show.
Starting point is 00:13:58 This is my therapy session. I'm like, listen bro, this is why we started the show. Do you have dirtball friends? It's literally like sometimes people would be like, oh, I'm gonna get my own check. And it's like, no, no, you're not. Wait, who says that? Sometimes people say that.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Not your squad from school. No, no, yeah. Like, is it group in the neighborhood with? Like, oh, I gotta get my own check. Or like, or like, I had, I only had that. So I'm gonna, and be like, bro, if you sit down at this table, we're splitting the thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:29 That's what has happened. We're all in together. Yeah. Regardless of who's paying. Like, bro, your appetite has nothing to do with how much you're paying. To be honest with you, you're paying for the seat at the table. You're sitting down at the chair,
Starting point is 00:14:38 like you're fucking paying. Just to play devil's advocate, that might be somebody who doesn't have it and is worried that they're gonna get, that they're gonna, you know, get put into an embarrassing situation. Which I've been that guy a lot where I didn't have it and everybody's like, let's order a $90 bottle of wine. And I'm like, buddy, I'm ordering fucking Bud Light's here. But that's your friend's responsibility to say, no dude, you're not doing that, don't
Starting point is 00:15:00 worry about that. We got it. But also, that's a before you get their type of conversation. And that's your point. You grab one guy. Oh wait, they're doing this when the check comes it. But also, that's before you get their type of conversation. You know what I mean? And that's your point. Oh, wait. They're doing this when the check comes? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Oh, that's bad. But like, it's like, because beforehand, we could plan for something. I have a less of a problem with that, but like. And are they having the appetizers, the stuff that everyone's sharing? They're tasting them, sure. And then all of a sudden, they're like,
Starting point is 00:15:17 I just had the check-in? Calamari doesn't show up and you don't have nothing. You don't have a piece or two. Yeah, that's a scumbag move. That's enough for the, if you eat anything, you're splitting the bill. two. That's a scumbag move. That's enough for the... If you eat anything, you're splitting the bill. Yes. That's how it happens.
Starting point is 00:15:29 That's so succinct. If you eat anything, you're splitting the bill. Or if you don't have it, we got it. You're not... We're not splitting the check out to the fact... Yeah, that's... And you just putting your entree and your soda on there. I hate...
Starting point is 00:15:42 When you had beers and you had... And you know, you had the the barata and this and that. No, we're not doing that. I also don't like like so many cards. Like three cards. Buddy. Waiters. Three is too many. A double date. A double. You can split, hey, whatever, whatever, we got it, so and so. Or like I'm fine with the, you know, I'm fine with that. I got it and so we'll go, I'll Venmo, yeah, go. Sure, whatever you do. It was this, if you want to do it, I'm not with the you know, I'm fine with that. I got it and so we'll go I'll Venmo you go sure whatever you do It was this if you want to do it
Starting point is 00:16:07 I'm not sending a fucking request, but if you want to send it I'll take it it is what it is That's what I'm bet my friends get mad at me for that shit too because like I'll be like I got it just like Venmo me and then like I don't send requests and they're like oh send it I can't send a request but that you know, I don't know I don't cuz I don't mind like doing shit like that all the time But the only thing is just like are we gonna put five cards in I'm like, bro We can we're gonna be here with this. They don't even have enough pens in this restaurant. Yeah There's also the thing too of like then you got to do the tip well I'm tipping 30 you're got $22
Starting point is 00:16:50 Let me tell you something as a server that was always my my my biggest thing because you always got screwed When it was like I put put a hundred say say the bill was $200 put a hundred and fifty on here and Fifty on the other card and he's gonna he's gonna do the tip that guy Always does the tip out of 50 bucks. Yeah. Yeah sucks buddy also I don't I like to tip because I worked in like a pizza. I worked off of tips for like years of my life I usually tip like very well. Yeah, and Yeah tip like very well. Yeah. And yeah. I'm talking about. But like if I go out on a double date or something and it's like I know I'm about to tip something stupid.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Sure. So and then like how much did you tip and I'm like I don't want to say now. Like in front of a group you go I gave you I gave them 30 bucks. All of a sudden you're leaving with the two broads. Hey you can take the left over. I'm tipping a hundred. Take it easy. This episode is brought to you by a hundred. Take it easy. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Callin' all you nut jobs out there. Wackos.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Actually, you know what? Not even. It's normalized, man. It's not even that it's normalized, but this adds about relationships. About how tough it is in relationships. Relationships aren't easy. And when you have talk therapy and you can talk something out, you get to work on yourself, you get to work on yourself
Starting point is 00:18:05 and you get to work on your relationship. You also have a different perspective. If someone's going, ah, you might've been an asshole there, maybe he or she was doing it, you just get a different, a different eye line without clouded, your clouded emotions. And we joke around a lot here on the pod, but I'll tell you what, better help has helped me out.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Just the simple, like you think that you gotta go all in, you gotta go to an office, you gotta sit there, you gotta tell them your own nice story. Insurance information, all these paperwork. Better help. It's almost like reaching out to a friend but it's a licensed therapist. Yeah, it's easy to get started.
Starting point is 00:18:34 Just fill out a quick questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist. You can do therapy by video call, by message or even over the phone, whatever works for you. So here's the turkey. Become your own soulmate, baby. Whether you're looking for one or not, visit betterhelp.com slash garbageaday and you get 10% off your first month. here's the turkey. Become your own soulmate, baby. Whether you're looking for one or not, visit betterhelp.com slash garbage today
Starting point is 00:18:47 and you get 10% off your first month. That's better help, H-E-L-P.com slash garbage. Do it, gang. Go ahead. Kibby, let's talk about sheath. Shout out to sheath and OG Spons. I'm talking about sheath underwear, OG from Jump Street.
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Starting point is 00:19:48 I'm not. Go to sheathunderwear.com, use the code Garbage, you get 20% off your first order, plus sheath underwear has a 100% money back guarantee that sheathunderwear.com, promo code Garbage, you get sheath underwear, support the show, and support your balls. Do it. I have a question kind of in this vein I was singing about earlier today I wanted to ask you. Have you ever had a place like a bodega bagel shop where you would walk in and have a usual order? You'd walk in, they go, oh Joey, and they knew exactly what you wanted. Beggar, make a cheese or something. This is the worst show to like say this, but when I was under under I think maybe I was 20 or 21 or
Starting point is 00:20:27 something the only place it's not food but the only places has ever happened is there was a bodega where we would buy beers from all the time so every time we walked in there he would say oh special for the special and then overcharge me for like beers that's the only time if we're going in there and especially at night he would just be like oh he'll just start walking to the back to go get Because that was on the way. Yeah. Hey. That's the only time. If we were going in there, especially at night, he would just be like, oh, he would just start walking to the back to go get a fucking case of tall boys or some shit.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Respect them. They'll use it. Oh, $60. I'm like, yeah. Oh, you're too kind to me. I was a hunter for you. He keeps saying it's special, and it's like, the price keeps going up.
Starting point is 00:20:58 And I'm like, I feel like we're not safe enough. A little hush money. Yeah, exactly. It's like, hey, I'm with that, though. Yeah. Yeah, the thing with the restaurant, though's yeah you can't have you can't have somebody doing that. I also. Oh sorry. And if it's again if it's the thing of like where they don't have it it's like dude we're not doing that we got it. I'm I'm a fat guy too
Starting point is 00:21:17 and I've I always I what ladies and gentlemen. He like piggybacked off you with something you did to say. I'm also a fat guy. I'm also a fat guy. Oh yeah. What the hell was that, man? No. No. No.
Starting point is 00:21:31 That wasn't. It wasn't in connection. Nice. Nice. I'm also a fat guy with a bad disposition. Sit to my stomach. I'm on his sozempies. You got me.
Starting point is 00:21:39 You got me doing the gymnastics and stuff. Hey, you hit me with a net salt. I was. I wasn't pinning that comment to you. I was saying, in addition to that, I, me being a fat guy for most of my life and also poor for a very long time, I always got crazy anxiety
Starting point is 00:21:55 when I would be in those situations. The worst anxiety ever. Of like, fuck man, and they start yelling out stuff and I'm going, I can't, I know I can't swing that. You guys are, you're going, we're gonna do the oysters. I'm like fuck I think that's okay too because like if in those situations like people are start ordering and getting crazy If it's me, I'd be like I'm not fucking doing that. Yeah, you know like chill and also
Starting point is 00:22:19 Within fucking reason like I've been out to dinner with someone who has Just an unlimited amount of money basically. And I wanna be like, this dude takes care of me sometimes with certain things, so I was like, I wanna take you out and do whatever. So we went to coat the steakhouse in a very expensive place. Very expensive. And at one point he just holds up the menu.
Starting point is 00:22:42 And this is where I'm paying, right? He holds up the menu and he goes, we'll do right he holds up the menu and he goes we'll do that Yeah, see you can anywhere like this. Yeah, I was like who orders a finger dash of food He gave you a direction. We'll do it yourself Everything from this this from the neck down We'll take all the meat you have and then this the somebody comes over and he's talking to him. And then he's like, yeah, we'll do that. I literally texted him.
Starting point is 00:23:08 And I was like, how much was the bottle you just got? But he was like, no, it wasn't bad. It was like $60 bucks. And I was like, OK. Because I was thinking he's got like $1,000 bottle or something. But is that OK? So is that a situation where you said, hey, I want to take you out tonight?
Starting point is 00:23:21 Yeah. Because you take me out all the time. Yeah, I wanted to return the picture. So those guys, which you're, it sounds like you're slowly turning into, you're becoming that guy as far as the pecking order. Not that you're doing what he's doing, but you're becoming that guy.
Starting point is 00:23:35 When they get that, you know, they want to go all out a little bit, but that's just like, that's like the same as the Bodega guy, whacking you out a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a one time thing. The other thing you were saying when people start going crazy,
Starting point is 00:23:48 I had the luxury of not having the best social life. So I don't have like fringe. You don't say. I don't have situations where- It's me, you and Toby. What are you talking about? I mean, yeah. I would assume that sometimes you're going out to dinner
Starting point is 00:24:04 with like nine guys. Some of them are your boys, maybe a couple of their girlfriends, and then there's like some fringe people that you don't really know or whatever. In that situation, when some bozo at the end of the table that you don't know, but knows you do well, think, oh, Joe's gonna get it. And he starts doing that. Then you got to put a little bit of a kibosh on it. But I never really go out to eat with people that I wouldn't like, you know, go to war with.
Starting point is 00:24:26 I'm a loser. By design. Yeah. I eat with a tight circle. So when that happens, it's every, you know, everybody, we're all eating and enjoy yourself, however it shakes out, it shakes out. I would net, like, I don't know how it would react
Starting point is 00:24:40 in the moment, but the idea of going out to dinner with like a large group and someone at the end of the table who I don't really know is like, oh, let's get this $300 bottle of wine. I'd be like, hold on. What the fuck are you talking about? Usually that's not the guy that's going to be picking up the check or that's going to be, he doesn't have it like that. Yeah, you better be wearing like some wild jewelry and notice for me to like be like, all right, fine. You got it. Looks like he's going to pay for that.
Starting point is 00:25:04 But if you're up there and just like a regular t-shirt, I'm going to be like, all right, fine. You got it. Looks like he's going to pay for that. But if you're up there in just a regular t-shirt, I'm going to be like, hold on. We should talk about that first. His jewelry. Does that necklace spin? Are you in G-unit by any chance? And I've got to be honest.
Starting point is 00:25:16 You see those videos every once in a while that pop up, like a girl out for her birthday or something like that. And they put it all in the boyfriend. And then the girls get mad when the boyfriend doesn't pay. Those type of dinners, which I haven't had one of those since I was probably in my late 20s, early 30s, and I was a be-rook at the time, those gave me such anxiety.
Starting point is 00:25:38 I hated just the situation of it, I hated. I felt bad for the waiter, just the whole thing sucked. Yeah, I mean I I'm definitely not like I I am I hate not hate but like in restaurants. I'm very like I don't I won't send food back Never I'm never gonna let you answer a table change gentlemen Dude, never if they put me in the bathroom And I say this on the show all the time where I'm like, if I ordered a burger
Starting point is 00:26:07 and they bring me a salad, I'm eating salad. Yeah, really? I'm gonna say thank you and eat it. Because like, I don't know, I feel, I mean, that's probably an extreme example. But like. No, for sure, I get the sentiment of it, yeah. But like, I'm not there to cause a problem
Starting point is 00:26:22 or like, I need a different table, I need to whatever, like, we just gotta just got a lucky tonight like we're by the kitchen I don't know what to tell you let me ask you this okay, and I'm a mistake is not a mistake But what if the server has kind of an attitude man? I don't know that I've really experienced that too Kind of crazy because every server has an attitude with Foley for some reason Just really been bumping heads with the server truth be be told. All right, you know what I mean? I am starting to get a little squirrely older. No, as T-Bone has said, as dubbed it, it's your Osempi Tempi.
Starting point is 00:26:57 He's on the Osempics. He's not eating what he's used to and he's furious about it. Oh my God. And so then when it's like, did you ever see like those people getting fights at fucking McDonald's and shit? It's like, cause they were, they're like addicted to it
Starting point is 00:27:11 and it's not coming out, it's cold. So imagine going to your dealer's house, he's just dangling a bag in front of you and you're like, yeah, fucking fuck. So you get all feisty when they bring you the wrong thing. Listen, I kid that the Wendy's drive-thru had it coming. I don't wanna hear that. Drag them through the fucking window. The with the fucking I ordered a medium right never like this
Starting point is 00:27:30 is ridiculous I talk to man just kind of an out normally what you're saying no matter what they brought I'm eating it yeah it would take a lot for me to say anything unless they were a dick yeah because I've been it was a server for so long you know what I mean I you know when someone's being a dick because I've been a was a server for so long. You know what I mean? I know when someone's being a dick. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, I just a little. I'm more of like bad attitude.
Starting point is 00:27:52 I'll probably say something if it's happening to someone I'm with. Like if it happens to someone I'm with that. Yeah. Why don't you stick up for me? Yeah. You got me sitting there like an idiot. You were rude. I have my
Starting point is 00:28:05 table to be changed sir I'm not with him yeah I don't know and also rude to somebody at the of course yeah are you like a jokey guy when the check comes no what do you mean like oh my fucking dad is like oh dad's are like yeah my dad like 50% of the time that he gets a check, he's like, whoa, break a fucking window in here too? That's a pretty good one. That's all right. Yeah. He would say that all the time.
Starting point is 00:28:31 They take the checkbook, I didn't order this. Am I right? Yeah, that's dad stuff. And he can't see the fucking thing too. I don't think that he can go to a restaurant, honestly, because they will hand him a check and he'd be like, can't even fucking see it. I can't see it.
Starting point is 00:28:43 It's too dark in here. Where's the fucking lights? I can't see it anymore either. Really? You gotta take the phone out, you're not flashing the phone. I don't do the flashlight, but if it's dimly lit. You hover it over the phone.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Yeah, I hover it over. That's amazing. I couldn't see it. That happened the other night. It makes me feel cool when that happens. I feel like I'm going over a document, like I have a light, you know what I mean? I'm like, how you doing?
Starting point is 00:29:04 It's like a blue light, you a document like I have like a light, you know I'm like, how you done? What's that? It's like a blue light. You're like trying to find a fucking the other night we were at a place where uh where we get you know we get we get free drinks or discounted drinks or whatever it is and they handed me a check and it was like four dollars and I left the 20. Yeah. But then I couldn't see the thing but I did make sure that I wrote the tip in first, and I said, well, what is that? Is that a six or a nine there? And she's like, oh, it's a six.
Starting point is 00:29:29 I'm like, there you go, that's 20 for you. Okay. And there you go. Yeah, I mean, that's another thing too. Like when you get hooked up at certain places, it's like, now I got a tip. You got to! You almost like don't save money in those situations.
Starting point is 00:29:40 No, I lose money. I'm also now, I've been, so I've had a tip not so great for a very long time when I didn't have the money. I always give you something, like even if it's a dollar, if I'm just ordering a beer at a pub, it's like, all right, I'll give you a dollar or a drink.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Whatever, here, take these buttons. Those are good buttons. That's half a cigarette for you. It's like, it's a pretty good pour, good job, but it's a fist bump. Couldn't finish the rest of this point job. That's all you big dog. Man.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Keep them coming and keep them cold. Now, like, you know, we perform, you know, in a lot of clubs and stuff, and if I'm getting a drink, they don't, you know, they don't charge us. So I'm like, and I ought to pay back to what I was doing. It's usually a 20 Like per I'm like all right here you go. That's for you. That's her drink Oh, I'm only doing one or you know, yeah I know if I go into a place and I hit them a 20 I get a couple
Starting point is 00:30:38 You know they're gone. Do you want to know like then they're giving them to you? Yeah, you know, okay, I create little fucking, a little bit of buzz, you know what I mean? Get the people talking. Just like, oh, they guys, they should have money over there. You better like hook them up. Have any of you guys been to a restaurant that had you try and sit at shared tables with strangers?
Starting point is 00:30:54 Are you nuts? Yeah, something. I mean, New York does that for sure. I don't love it. Are you nuts? How do you? What? That place in Chinatown trying to do that, I was like,
Starting point is 00:31:03 I'm out of here. I couldn't. USA. He started to say out of here. I couldn't do it. USA, he started to say it in USA. I couldn't do it. Also, when they have tables that are basically shared because you're on- My fucking elbows are touching you. Dude, if they have to move the table for you to get to your seat, what are we- What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:31:19 We're living like rats. There are many tables in here. Oh, wait, I'll wait 20 minutes. I don't want to- Yeah. A can of sardines in here. And I don't even like- because I don't like talking to no one. The dude tables in here. Oh wait. I'll wait 20 minutes. Yeah, a can of sardines in here And I don't even like because I don't like talking and no one the dudes right here like I'm the shit I'm saying is this guy's here at all. Yeah, dude
Starting point is 00:31:32 My wife will be like I will be sitting to will be sitting in like a fucking Italian restaurant like six Yeah, I'm done. She'd be like see you guys what you a when you want to start having kids. I'm like shut the fuck up We're not doing this here. We whispered restaurants. Oh, I'm like, shut the fuck up. We're not doing this here. We whisper at restaurants. Oh, I'm like that too. Me and my whisper. We just texted each other. I'm like that.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Hand over the mouth, what are you gonna get? You gonna get something good? I do like when it's like, if you have a bigger group, usually you get a table that's kind of like a way. And like that, I like that, because then you could just, it's more of like a hangout situation. But when you're in like a quiet restaurant,
Starting point is 00:32:04 and it's like just you and someone else and there's a fucking table right there, it's like, well, I'm not talking and I can't. We'll do sign language because I can't, I don't like feeling like people are listening or something. Once they stop talking and they're eating, I'm like, they're listening. I hate the people and this is a bit of a meeting.
Starting point is 00:32:20 Everyone, this is a bit of a meeting. I'll let external things ruin my dining experience. But the guy at the table, who's talking to the person that he's with, but also a little bit for everyone at the restaurant, they're gonna be talking. And I'm like, you know, I go over there and he's making eye contact with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:43 Like talking to be heard. It's like dude shot Also like you're on the train or something you're just on the phone loudly One how's your phone working and two what like shut the fuck up? Yeah, you're not whisper or be like I'll call you back This turned into four old guys And he's kids. I grew up. You know, I just this generation. I tell you, kids dancing on the subway. Four dollars for gummy bears. Four dollars for gummy bears in this vein a little bit. Do you have a favorite casual dining restaurant and Apple
Starting point is 00:33:21 Bees a Fridays a Pizzeria Uno? Like what's the- And what would be a treat growing up that the fan would take you to? Like maybe on a Friday or Thursday. Not going anywhere. Oh, hey. Have a treat.
Starting point is 00:33:35 It was my, dude, I was talking about this the other day. My mom. Going anywhere. Yeah, we, no one's like, oh, we're all going out to a restaurant. That happened like graduations and like Christmas Eve. Really? Yeah. Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve, we're all going out to a restaurant. That happened like graduations and like Christmas Eve. Really, really? Christmas Eve.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve, we used to go to this restaurant in the city all the time. My dad's friend like owned it. That makes sense. That's why I'll give you that. That's nice. Italian?
Starting point is 00:33:55 Yes. Probably nice. Mandarin, actually. Yeah. It's like yes. It is an Apple piece. He owns one of the chains. But yeah, no, yeah, we never went anywhere.
Starting point is 00:34:05 And also for graduation, you should just go to a diner. A diner? A diner. A diner. Neptune diner. If you're eating eggs in a suit, that's no good. Pancakes, fat pancakes too. Neptune diners, all right.
Starting point is 00:34:17 Their lobster bis used to be amazing. But for a celebration, that's crazy. It is crazy. City kids, that's how they do it. Like a New York City pigeon, dude. Who does that? That's fucking crazy. Literally. It. That's how they do it. Like a New York City pigeon, dude. Who does that? That's fucking crazy. Literally.
Starting point is 00:34:28 It's like right next to the train, there's birds shitting over the sign. And it's like, yeah, here we go. Got little mints on the way out. That was a little delicacy. Love the Neptune diner. And the bell aired, not too shabby. They're shutting it down.
Starting point is 00:34:39 There's shut the wall down. Which one? Neptune. Really? Man. There's like four left in the city. Yeah, there's like four good guys. Which as a comedian in New York City, that was our homeless shelter.
Starting point is 00:34:50 Yeah, it was like, yeah, you would be with a group of five or six people and it'd be like, someone's like, I can afford mozzarella sticks and you're like, we'll just go hang out here and bother them for seven hours because it's raining over there. Sip coffee. Yeah. As far as a go-to for one of those restaurants, like, I don't know. I haven't been in an Applebee's in a long time, but the last time that I went,
Starting point is 00:35:11 we went because like, I was sitting around with like my brother and sister and they were like, let's go get Doloritas. Oh, I love it. And I was like, I love it. All right, fine. Dude, we go to Applebee's. Blackout for nine bucks.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Talk about a gold mine of an idea. Listen to this though. We go to Applebee's and Blackout for nine bucks. Talk about a gold mine of an idea. Listen to this though. We go to Applebee's and we're sitting down and the guy comes up and he's like, oh, we're gonna get you. And we're like, we wanna do the dollaridus and like, you know, whatever. And he's like, you don't wanna do the dollaridus.
Starting point is 00:35:35 That's what he said. What? So we didn't end up getting him because he's like, he's like, you don't wanna do it. What? What was this? I didn't ask him. They're probably shitting in the fucking dollaridus though. You really won't push back in a restaurant.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Hey, I want the chicken figures. No, you don't. All right, I'll just take the check. Oh my, dude. Thank you, sir. I went to a nice, I went to Terezi. Nice restaurant. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:53 The fucking waiter absolutely just cucked me. Like when it came to dessert, he's like, you guys gotta get this for dessert. I'm like, oh yeah, I was like, yo, that was like, that sounds really good. Can I just see the menu? What, anything to get to you? I'm gonna get you. No, no, I gotta start point. I was like, oh yeah, I was like, yo, that sounds really good, can I just see the menu? What, anything given to you? No, no, I got a certain point, I was like, all right fine.
Starting point is 00:36:09 That would bother me. I don't like that. And no, it drove me nuts, but, fucking dessert. I don't know what he was talking about. That was a crumpled weight. Thank God, he's lucky that it fucking worked out that way because I would have been pissed off if it was okay. But it was like the best.
Starting point is 00:36:22 I can go to Surbay, that's what you bring me? Dude, it was great. Bro, this kid eats nice, he likes it what's the name of it oh my you I don't know that name of it to receive they do a credit check at the front door let me get it let me get a quick run down in the maps okay all right all right all right hang on what's like it was second maybe prices if they're listed yeah pricey joint do you have a guy that gets your reservations or you doing it? Uh? Yeah, I'm any kind of any any yeah, can you get on the jumbo tron and MSG?
Starting point is 00:36:55 Can you get me on can we go together? I do have a friend that that works in the restaurant industry and he's he was the one that I was talking about before So yeah for reservations for like good restaurants and stuff like that one He got me got like that's a difficult restaurant to get into I don't like to do that I haven't done it in a while with him, but like I'll like if I want to go somewhere But hey, can you yeah, whatever he's like yeah sure do you tend to lean towards like hip like are you like a carbones guy? Carbones you put an S Isn't it car bone? Car bones.
Starting point is 00:37:25 It's also, I realized I'm so, I have a cool friend who lives in New York, like he's like very restaurant and I'm just. Thanks buddy. He yells at waiter's. I'm just very not that got, like we're just not those. Do we find a decent nice place that we like from time to time, whatever?
Starting point is 00:37:41 I remember the one time I felt so cool, like you gotta check this place out, because that opened nine years ago. Fuck. I remember the one time I felt so cool like you got to check this place I think is that open nine years ago Nobody knows about it. It's called Smith and Lewinsky All right, I got you on some apps here hit me cucumbers. We're not splitting these by the way Cucumbers cucumber salad right yeah, New York to say 19 bucks for cucumbers. All right. It's like this much too Yeah, okay, I'm gonna sound like a real dick at trying to read these. Charred. Charred. Charred. Clambool.
Starting point is 00:38:11 How do you see an Italian joint? Charred. Gobble. Goal. B O U L E. Stump the crew. I have to look at it. I have to get eyes in front of it. Why don't we get a plate of it over here we'll figure we'll get to the bottom of it Gotta get some eyes on this thing Italian-American hams was Zepley real nice nice sliced boar's head on rye Boar's head chopped liver with man of Shevitz No chopped liver with man of chevits no this is crazy shouts a little have any chopped liver with man of chevits only this is the right
Starting point is 00:38:48 place I have a Jewish wine there's like a tortellini on there that's like the thing you're supposed to get is apparently is really good I'm not seeing any torturini but I got some torturini torturini you talking about Irene
Starting point is 00:39:01 torturini T-bone sounds a little Tororeenian. She just had another kid. Irene Tororeenie. Dude, really popping them out. Man, T-bone. The Tororeenie Pomodoro. Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:15 What's a pasta dish going for? About $30. I don't even know. New York, Hoity Toity. That ain't horrible. It's similar to like, Carbon Price. OK. Have you been to Carbon? Yeah. Good? He's a cool guy to like, car bon prices. Okay. Have you been to car bon?
Starting point is 00:39:25 Yeah. Good? He's a cool guy. He's a cool kid. I really like restaurants. So I have two friends that they do well also. And one of them is like, he's the one who books all of them.
Starting point is 00:39:37 So like, a lot of these restaurants, you have to like wait until like 9 a.m. on a Tuesday and then they drop the reservations for the next month. So he's all over that. So we try to like, you know, do like nice restaurants that are like either new or whatever. Something, yeah. That's great.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Yeah, I like going to places like that. Like trying new shit. Like if you go to a place and it's like a nice, like if it has like a Michelin star or something and there's something on a menu that I've never had before, I'm like, oh, let's get that. And this was not the case growing up from what you were. Absolutely not. you were going to diner for his wedding
Starting point is 00:40:06 the fuck you talking about he was at the Neptune diner something we've been asking people lately which we think is a really good tell what was the first time you had Nutella two weeks ago literally maybe I was like 25, 4 or 25. I also, I thought. That's an Italian kid in the city. That's pretty bad. Can't much talk about blue chis. Shut up, the blue chisel.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Let's talk about blue chis, talking about throwing a little gas on the fire. You know what I mean? Dang, do yourself a favor. It's 2024, baby. Don't be shy. You need a little help in the booed war? Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:41:59 Back to the show. Dude, I didn't even know what avocado was until I was like at least 19 years old. I'm serious. I didn't have it till mid-20s and I was still on shore about it until I was like at least 19 years old. Dude, I'm serious. I didn't have it until mid-20s and I was still on shore about it. I was like, what is this shit? Like avocado and it came out of nowhere. Avocado toast, like 28 maybe I had that for the first time.
Starting point is 00:42:15 I remember the first time I found feta cheese. Good night. It was a fuck. Dude, it became a line item on my monthly expense and the second I found it, I was putting that shit in everything. So good, man. I love feta cheese. When it's in my fridge I'll just like pop open a little container and take a crumble. Start my day with some feta. Literally. I'll just put it in like a zin.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Just let it melt throughout the day. I'm doing a six milligrams of feta over here. Jump on the computer and get the work. Oh, that's great. All right, so no Nutella. Okay, and these are some, when do you put your deodorant on? You put the shirt on, then deodorant, or deodorant, then shirt, and what are you banging with?
Starting point is 00:43:01 Dude, you guys are gonna love this. You're rolling your- No deodorant. Don't wear deodorant I don't I might have remembered that I don't smell. Yeah. Whoa crazy like I like there definitely is a smell sometimes Okay, really cave down that fact. I don't smell at all except most of the time Yeah, that's just coming out of yeah, but like like it's like not like it's not enough to like when I wake up in the morning or the end of the day Like I just don't like nothing. Okay. What are you showering you showering at night or in the morning? I kind of like the routine it really depends mostly in the morning because like that's the only time that I really like
Starting point is 00:43:38 Work out is in the morning. I can't work out in the afternoon. Is that your workout routine? You get up in the morning and you go to the gym. Yeah, you hit the gym in the in the apartment. Yeah, he's a tight But like and then you have just a lot of money That's a sharp fade you could open a letter on that Yeah, who's cutting the hair? Let me get it with you rich the barber reason he's in uh, what is that fucking? Jackson Heights, okay, okay, what are you tipping him? What's that cost him? What are you tipping him? What happened Jackson Heights to get your hair cut? He also has a place in Brooklyn, too But I started going to you at all ever. No, no, no those are like if you're gonna do like a house call
Starting point is 00:44:21 It's like crazy, okay, but like He I started going to him like years ago, but I was still living in Queens at the time, so it wasn't that far, it was like 10 minutes from where I was. But then he also has a place in Williamsburg, but he's only there on Tuesday, so I tried to line up on my fucking, you know,
Starting point is 00:44:39 high-pressure with Tuesdays, but sometimes I can't, so I have to go to fucking Queens. Man, your kids love their haircuts. Really love their haircuts. What's the rotation? How many? You go once a week? No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Every two weeks, there's no way you're going longer than that. Sometimes. Really? It's probably around two weeks. OK. That I do it, or like, you know. I'll go months. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:45:00 Without getting my hair cut. Months. You got a long hair, yeah. I went. You can't have that haircut and go months. You got a long hair, yeah. I went. You can't have that haircut and go months. I've had that haircut and just, I just deal with it. Just let it grow in. Just let it go.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Yeah. I went to. And it turns into the no haircut haircut. That's a tough look. Just starts growing. Like, you know what I mean? Bad. I went to his house like during the pandemic once
Starting point is 00:45:23 and he cut my hair outside. No shit breaking the rules. Yeah. I went to his house and he had like a shield mask And I had to wear a mask and we're outside and just in his driveway This is like not in like the very beginning of it like I definitely like just buzzed my head at some point sure whatever Okay, hold on so no deodorant. What other are we doing? Moisturizer we doing anything like that? I am doing moisturizer Avino do Avino that's it But I literally was just talking about this on on the basement yard about like I was like I need like a fucking Routine you do I mean either routine. I was saying I was like, you know, I white people we age like a sidewalk like
Starting point is 00:46:05 Crackin and there's like all this stupid shit and bad man. It's like overnight. You're like I look pretty good I'm fucking But then I but then I was talking enough shit about it that company reached out to me and we're like oh We'll send you some stuff. It's the I forget the name of it, but it's like a French. It's like like, okay. Oh, uh, La Rose Pro say La Rose. I pulled that because I was at Tommy Pote last night and it was above the thing and I read it. Take that torturini. Holy cow. Yeah, this guy. Yeah. When I saw you, I think it was in San Francisco. We were getting ready for the show.'re like shower and do a lot stuff with the air being me. Yeah, he comes walking down with the with the with the gummies on Time-to-time but I do listen between
Starting point is 00:46:54 What I don't know what they do Emotionally it helps a lot. I still got punched in both eyes. Yeah, I do the under eye cream I do the the the oils the mass all that stuff the Exfoliators yeah, I gotta start doing that sounds like a sports team They use the exfoliator next up for the exfoliators Tommy Pope looks like he's got it going on though like he's probably been yeah putting it together He runs a tight ship. Yeah, he runs a tight self-care ship over there.
Starting point is 00:47:28 It looks like he does. Okay, one more to, say you're getting into a regular shower, right? It's like a bathtub shower. Like it's like a tub and the shower heads on the one side. No, it's just a shit. But I'm just saying, you're at a hotel and that's what it is, right?
Starting point is 00:47:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Will you get in at the back or will you get in the head decide the water's coming? That's such a good question, man. I think I get in the front like where the Bowdoz. Yeah, whoa nice. You just jump into the water like that. Oh, no, no I've let it run you let it run and then where do you get in? Oh, I get in in the in the water I think get in the front. You this is such a good question. You get in the back. I got news for you It's only me and you, dawg.
Starting point is 00:48:05 Yeah. It's you and me. We have this question like 50 people. Everybody else gets in the back. You get in the back and then step. You turn the water on. Close the curtain or what the door. Turn the water on.
Starting point is 00:48:14 The water's running. You put your hand in there. Get at the temp. And then you go to the back and enter the water. That might be true. I don't like to walk in to walk. I could never. I think I think I just going in like a middle line. You just get in the front.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Yeah, I could never articulate it until now for some reason. But I think the reason that I do do that is because when I was a kid, everybody had anxiety and getting burned by the water was a big thing. You're going to get scalded by the water. So when you get in the front, you have access to make a quick move if it's called and not. That's a big thing. You're going to get scalded by the water. So when you get in the front, you have access to make a quick move if it's scalded or not. That's a good point. Also, I'm used to being scolded.
Starting point is 00:48:52 There's photos of us being children. We're all in the tub. And then we stand up and half our bodies are just beating. He ran into the water. Like, Mike was cooking us. Nobody was taking temps back in the night. We're like, mom, it's hot. She's like, shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:49:04 She's dropping in onions and carrots. Like, that's funny. She, Mom, it's hot. She's like, shut the fuck up. She's dropping in onions and carrots. Like, what's funny? She's got a ladle. And she's like, shut up. Think you're Bugs Bunny. You better not tell your father. This is something that we've been asking people. Who is the most famous person you met when you were younger?
Starting point is 00:49:18 And they couldn't. It didn't necessarily have to be famous, but somebody where you were like, I bet. Famous to you. So when somebody's like. Ernie and Astez or somebody like that. In the neighborhood or something. Was there anybody, a sports player, a newscaster?
Starting point is 00:49:31 Me to Nick or Yankee? I met, well I guess, I went to this thing, like Magic Johnson was at the NBA store, so my friends took the bus and we went to the city and we met Magic Johnson. That's not bad. That's all right That's a pretty good one. Yeah. I have assigned basketball somewhere in my mom's house about Magic Johnson Really really waiting for him to kill over so I can move anything
Starting point is 00:49:56 It's gonna be worth something one day I was waiting to be like my uncle had a Cadillac He was kind of known in the neighborhood I don't know that I ever like someone when I was super young that wasn't like that. Like that you go out of your way to meet, but running into a celebrity I don't think. We were friends, my family was friends with a local radio DJ and that was like the biggest thing. Like oh so and so might be there. My dad knew a guy who owned a Hampton house.
Starting point is 00:50:27 And I stayed there for a weekend, and that was nice. Watched Italy win the World Cup in that house. It was nice. That's the most New York Italian thing I ever heard in my life. Went to the Hamptons to watch Italy play. Your parents always had one friend that did really well. Usually they didn't have kids or anything like that.
Starting point is 00:50:43 It was always fun going over there. And always, for me, it was, uh, uh, you only, only ever did those things once. It wasn't like, it was like, we would go. The kids would call us just seeing the guy, the guy, Dane coming back. Yeah. You got your, you got your one shot.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. My dad had a, one of his commanders in the Navy had, had like a, like a real prosperous business outside of the Navy, but he was commanders in the Navy had had like a like a real prosperous business outside of the Navy, but he was still in the Navy. And he had this house down in like Kate May and down the shore or something like that. And he was like on the water. He had a like
Starting point is 00:51:14 a little boat and like took us out and all that stuff. Man, I think we were like smacking turtles in the water or something like that. Yeah, never got invited back again. Yeah, I never did anything like that. I threw the fishing rod in the water. I was, I only got on a plane once when I was like, like before the age of 18 or 19. Once. Yeah, same. When I went to the Disney World. And I think I told you guys last time,
Starting point is 00:51:36 like my dad did a like a construction job and the guy paid him in Disney tickets. Oh yes, that's right. That's awesome, right. So that was like the vacation that we went on. Yeah, that's not a great vacation. What'd you call your grandparents? Grandma grandpa.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Grandma grandpa. What'd you call the remote growing up? The remote. You clicker or something? I was never clicker, no. We were clicker. Some people say buttons and stuff, like pass me the buttons.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Stuff. No, that's rough. Mash the buttons. Have you upgraded the aftermarket amenities in the apartment in this new place? Like, do you got like an air purifier? Do you got like, you know, what are you working with over there?
Starting point is 00:52:16 Kitchen appliances. Do you have an automatic pepper grinder? Air fryer? I do not. I do not. I don't love that, to be honest with you. I don't love it either. I like to grind it. Yeah, I like to.
Starting point is 00:52:24 I like to feel it. I like to feel it. I like to feel it. Because it makes you feel like I'm a chef. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like that, to me, is like so much better than just like, eh, like what the hell? That would go back to Feta the first time they ran out
Starting point is 00:52:36 of the crumble. Go back to Feta. I had to buy the brick, you know? Oh. And man, chopping that up, I felt like fucking Chef Ramsay, dude. I was like, no one can tell me shit. You have your fingers here. I know what I'm man chopping that up. I felt like fucking chef Ramsay. Yeah, I was like no one can tell me shit You have your fingers. Yeah, I know what I'm doing. I'm curled in fucking Yeah, like an old woman in Sicily growing up did any of you guys have the the hand crank cheese grinder
Starting point is 00:52:58 You know what they have it like olive garden. Uh sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. No There's like a less fancy one. Yeah, I know you'd never. I don't think that we had that, but I did have the, um, we just used a fucking like cheese grater. Which that also makes me feel like a chef too. I'm just like, yeah. You talking about the, look at all this cheese I was saying. I did it last time.
Starting point is 00:53:18 The triangle ones? Yeah, yeah. That thing's deadly. Dude. Oh, you take your knuckles off. You're not paying attention. I've done that. Like the cheese slips and you're like Oh, I just cut the whole fucking hand, but you know, it's really nice. They have the one now where it has to handle
Starting point is 00:53:29 Yeah, oh Like Bobby flay. Yeah, it's just a stick. It's like a Fork, but it's just the long file. It looks like a big nail file. Oh my god, dude And you then you like tap it if you feel it I see the shit all in there finish it you're finishing the dish, which is very nice Oh, that's the best that you cook you cooked a meal and then you just you have some something on top of you You can be like here. Just a little little little lemon zest or something like chives whatever the fuck that is a bowl of mac and cheese It's just my cereal. I'm grinding cocoa puffs
Starting point is 00:54:03 My cereal I'm grinding cocoa pops Just a dusting of the marshmallow I'm like that with cocktails now. I got really into cock like making cocktails In in the past like few months. So like I like would go out and like buy you have a tour you want a torch like that You got the big ice thing now to make the ice ball Yeah, yeah, I have like a thing to well You got the big ice thing, though, to make the ice ball or whatever? Yeah, yeah, I have a thing to. Well, not that, not the ice ball. I just have the fucking big cubes in the fridge. But I also have dried out, fucking,
Starting point is 00:54:34 apricots or something. Lemons and shit, and little fucking cinnamon sticks and shit like that. Brandy cherries and all that. Exactly. I like that. That's great when you want to drink in 48 minutes. Fuck that. Dude, that's the word.
Starting point is 00:54:47 You ever order? I'm like, I'll get a manhattan. Dude, they bust out a torch. I'm leaving. Yeah. You're at the house. You're making nice cocktails. How many of those do you make until it turns into just
Starting point is 00:54:56 whiskey on ice? Not many. Like, you're going to make the first one nice. The second one, you're a little drunk. This is fun. The third one is just fucking out of the bottle. Yeah, it's the first one. The second one you're a little the second one you're a little drunk So you guys just thought I'm the third one. It's just fucking out of the bottle. Yeah, it's like I'm just literally gonna have some whiskey Yeah, I like making it for other people, you know, it's more like an outward thing It's more of a show-off thing. Are you and what do you need? Yeah, no problem here. Are you entertaining? I'm like double straining shit that doesn't need to double strain it
Starting point is 00:55:20 Bro here. Are you entertaining a lot? I'm like double straining shit that doesn't need to. Double straining. What? You know. A little straining Parmesan on that for you? Exactly. Shit like that.
Starting point is 00:55:28 Have you had people over the house yet? The new house? Yeah. Like a housewarming party? Or was it just like a couple people over? No, I had people over for like Memorial Day weekend. OK. Because there's like a little courtyard,
Starting point is 00:55:39 and it has like an awesome view. So you can like rent out one of the grills or whatever. Gotcha so you so I had some people over on me like did you grill? Did you man the grill? I did not invite people over to work. That's who'd you have who cooked? It was Bobby flay dude it was car bones It was Jimmy car bones of car bones, man. No, it was one of it was one of my friends like so he did the cooking Yeah, you didn't you made the drinks and all that stuff by all the stuff We meet car bones of car bones. No, it was one of my friends. So he did the cooking. You made the drinks and all that stuff. I made the drinks.
Starting point is 00:56:08 Yeah, I didn't buy all this. I tell people, I'm going to have stuff, but you could bring whatever you want. And usually, I think that's like standard. You can't have nothing. Be like, BYOB, it's like, this isn't a fucking. Yeah, you got to have something. It's like a fucking college house party, dude. You have something college house party dude Like you have an apartment like to have some drinks five bucks for a cup
Starting point is 00:56:29 Write your name on your cups This was all in the this was all out in the common area. This wasn't in the apartment was it It started in the apartment and then it went down there. Okay acting a, not a fool, but a little sloppy with the. Was there any like knock it off? I just moved in here. The coaster placements, anything like that? Honestly, there wasn't. But I'm sure that if I was less drunk,
Starting point is 00:56:55 I probably would have had complaints. You would have noticed things. Sorry. But like, I don't know. For the most part, like. Shoes off in the house? Yeah. You ever got to take the shoes off?
Starting point is 00:57:04 Not all the time, but like like definitely like I'll encourage that like if we're sit if we're gonna like watch the game or something at my house I'd be like all right take the fucking if you're having a bunch of people over would you ever do a premixed cocktail like a like a jug of mint juleps that's nice that's real my cousin does that every probably that's probably a smart thing to do I haven't done that but like I don't know like if I know that people are coming over I'll ask them ahead of time like when they're like 10 minutes out like what do you want and then I'll have it so that's like ready 10 minutes out whoa that's pretty good they get in there you got the fucking
Starting point is 00:57:34 apricot dusted whatever exactly you got some time in there I got a nice little that's not bad what's like I have time to triple strain if you need to double triple strain I could do whatever. I could do an egg wash or something. You're not doing that, are you? That's good. But I'm also not the best food host. So I'm not putting.
Starting point is 00:57:56 I picked up on that. You made another guy grow. You're party, dude. That's great. Hey, I want to have a barbecue. A real nice cocktail and some scoops. You guys bring good at that. Yeah, someone else got to handle the charcuterie board
Starting point is 00:58:08 or whatever you are. But I can't be doing that. My dad used to do that, too, Grunner. That's probably why, because he'd be like, oh, you want a hot dog? I'd be like, yeah, he goes, make me one, too. I'm like, I don't want it now. That's awesome. All right, let's get into some fucking, uh, some Patreon questions.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Guys, when you sign up for the Patreon, we'll answer your garbage question on the air. We get a lot of submissions, but Patreon gets the first crack at it, baby. Yes, sir. Let's see here. This one I've never thought of. This is from Kippy's Denim Jacket. Shout out to it. Uh, $10 Discover Card Homie.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Are you garbage if you shower with your dog? Ooh, that's nuts, but... Well, it's efficient. It's efficient, but then... I feel like you'd have to wash them, get them out, and then get back into rinse off. Yeah, 100%. Cause the dog's gonna shake and get all that shit all over you. But then, if you just let him out, he's just shaking and the thing, then the bathroom's disgusting. That also might be a like a swimsuit job.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Yeah. You can't be hanging dog next to the Dalmatian. Like you can't do that. Gatter. I never thought of that yet. You can't be naked in that. Hanging brain. What if something happens? Yeah, you can't do that. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't think it's like efficient. You can do it, especially like if you have a dog that's like bigger. Cause if you can't put it in a sink, where are you gonna put it? Yeah, that's a real dog person right there.
Starting point is 00:59:30 I'll tell you, they love their puppy dog. I mean, we do it in the tub, but it's like, it's a thing. Yeah. You gotta- Take bands with the dog? I don't take bands with them, but like- You wash them in the tub. Yeah, but typically someone's gotta get in there. Well, someone's in the tub, someone's out of the tub,
Starting point is 00:59:44 distracting with lunch meats. But hold on. Kind of like how we bathe you from time to time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Wait, you're standing in the tub. You're not like sitting down. No typically typically the bird will get in there I'm tummy sticks. Yeah. No. Yeah. No, she's like holding them and yeah, it's a it's a two-man job Yeah, I got you on see don't like the water But I would never shower with them. That's I like that that's bonk. It makes sense. It does make sense I don't think my dog would like like showering and he'd be looking at it. What the fuck are we doing? It's weird.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Hey bro, your balls are dripping on me. What the fuck is going on? What is that thing? First he makes me a drink, now I'm in the shower. He talks just going, hey pal, little room for the shooter. I'm back up. OK, this is from Glogger Champ 2000. Is it garbage to drink the beers that were left in the fridge
Starting point is 01:00:44 when I moved into my new place? Yes. That's nuts. He said he had a Google expiration dates on them. If it goes bad. Oh, I was like, Google an expiration date. I've done that though. I've drank a lot of an expired beer in my life, I feel like.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Yeah, I think that's what you would get at a young age and shit like. Special for the special, by the way. All expired. That is insane though. I would never. No, nothing. Anytime I move in everything gets fucking out. If you get into an Airbnb or something like that, like they still have like the catch-up
Starting point is 01:01:12 in the name. They're like, who's worse than that? I'm not doing that. I don't trust people's shit. Even like growing up, growing up in my friends' houses and stuff, I'd be like, you got a catch-up in here from 2008. What are we doing? I can look at a condiment bottle and be like,
Starting point is 01:01:27 I ain't touching that. Even if it's like my bottom like, dude, that there's too much crust, the lid's been opened, I'm wrong. Get your act together. When your ketchup just looks like it's like, got its period or something. It's like, it's got, it's like,
Starting point is 01:01:38 it's like from wife this thing, you're an adult. Hot sauce is real bad. Hot sauce dries bad. A lot of times the lid stops closing and shit You gotta shake the hot sauce up and see if everything falls down if it doesn't get out Yeah, it's a tough look run for your lives This seems like a very New York thing. This is from Felix never had one read is a garbage to move furniture on public transportation Yes, I've seen it a bunch in the sassing people moving a love seat onto the a train
Starting point is 01:02:04 Yeah, and then not even sit in it Yes. I've seen it a bunch and I've seen people moving a love seat onto the A train. Yeah. And then not even sit in it. Like they stood there. I'm like, you're a fucking jerk off, dude. I don't know that I, like, I don't know. Have you ever had to move anything crazy on the train? You ever had a mattress on top of a car? I definitely have had that.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Yeah. I've had a mattress on top of the car. I've never done that. Oh, man. We always had access to a pickup truck. I remember my parents doing that. My dad always had like a van or a truck. He had a work truck for so long.
Starting point is 01:02:31 So anytime you were moving anything, it's just tossing the back in there. But then you got a, you know. Also a pickup truck in New York is like, that's like one of the hottest commodities you can come across. A car, let alone a pickup truck? Yeah, man.
Starting point is 01:02:42 That's all right. All right, let's see here. This's from Kevin longtime listener first-time caller Is it garbage to know someone who's been on dog the bounty hunter? That's worse than Jerry Springer for some reason yet for some reason. I don't know but it's pretty cool sitting now watching it together I'll tell you that Just just telling it like it's a little he the bounty. I don't know It's either that or a guy who was like, he went over there.
Starting point is 01:03:05 Yeah, right. Way less cool. Either way, you're in a bad neighborhood. Yeah. I just picture an uncle showing a kid like, don't- Wait, I zigged. I should have zagged right. He's where he got me.
Starting point is 01:03:17 He's where he got me. Yeah, he's where he got me. I thought I had him here, but- Dog doesn't go after white collar criminals. He's watched the episode of guys going. No, I don't know Steven He's I did those people Totally fooled up. Look at him. He was in my closet the whole time How to smoke with him out front and everything?
Starting point is 01:03:38 All right, let's see this on DJ knucklepuck are you garbage if you use the word the before a medical diagnosis like I Got the lupus or I got the diarrhea Yeah, that's something my dad does too my dad also like camp he doesn't know the name of anything He called like I remember back in the day like Twitter was like a thing and he was just like calling it like where you and you Twat whatever That one. I think you know what it's fucking called. Like, you know what you're doing right now. But that one was tough for that general, that parents at Twitter.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Twitter. Because it was also Twitter and tweet. Facebook was at least like Facebook, I'm gonna Facebook, we're on Facebook. The Twitter and tweet really threw the grown ups through a fucking loop. I'm tweeting on Twitter. Yeah, really fucking jam them up.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Really jam them up. Yeah, it's just too close to twat, so, you know, yeah, the diabetes the ozempics You're you're big on the you're starting you've reached an age where you started putting s's on things. Yeah, not yeah Yeah, bones. Yeah, I was in the ashes obviously really far away, but I thought about this on new year Is it happy new years? No, or happy new year happy new year happy new year I've been saying new years my and everybody I know happy new years do you say Valentine's Day Valentine's Day Valentine's Day times times some people say times Valentine's happy Valentine's Day Valentine you're a fucking idiot yeah it's like you can't
Starting point is 01:05:01 read yeah get out of here please stop my dad puts ER instead of a on where so you say like winter and Victoria over at the winter. Yeah, yeah Yeah, the fucking winter shoulder. Yeah, so it is so there. Yeah, it's a harder thing to vodka like vodka and tonic is Boston They vodka is insane. Yeah I Hate when drunk of vodka Yeah, I hate when drunk of vodka. I'm gonna drunk of vodka. Oh, vodka. I have a friend one time he ordered,
Starting point is 01:05:29 let me get a gray goose at vodka. I was like, you're fucking kidding me. Bartender was just like, I don't even know how to make what you're saying. You're clearly underage. It's just a CIA test. What are you grilling me for? James didn't whiskey make it snappy.
Starting point is 01:05:43 Thank you. And can I have it on the rocks with ice please? All Denne Whiskey, make it snappy. Thank you. And can I have it on the rocks with ice please? All right, we got to wrap it up. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Joe Sanagato of the Basement Yard podcast, Titan of the Industry here with us tonight. Thank you guys so much for having always a good time. Buddy, we love you. Anything you want the folks out there to know,
Starting point is 01:06:00 anything else you got to hit them with? Go to thebasementyard.com. We're going to be listing more tour dates for the live shows and stuff. And oh, that's my camera. And you can go follow the show at the Basemeyard on wherever the fuck. Just type it in.
Starting point is 01:06:13 You'll see it somewhere. Yeah, you'll find it. There you go. Kip, what do you got for him? Tickets are on sale right now. We're at New York City. We're doing town hall. We're getting ready to announce the rest of our tour dates
Starting point is 01:06:21 for the spring and the summer. So hit the link in the description. If it's still there, let us know what cities we gotta come to. We love yous. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace!

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