Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - John Crist!

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host John Crist! We're talking growing up Christian, Gambling and family vacation! You know John Crist from stand up comedy, The Tonight Show w/ Jimmy Fallon, Net Positive Podcast, The Nateland Podcast, This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von, The Shawn Ryan Show, his comedy special "Emotional Support" and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: BetterHelp: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Factor: Get started at https://factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gang, do you have a garbage question that the boys have to hear? Do you like stand-up comedy? Do you like having a night out with the boys, having a couple of pops? Come see an RU Garbage live show! Yeah, we got a second show out in San Francisco, then Portland, Seattle, Braya, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, low ticket alert, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,

at the Met, Rochester, New York, and Toronto. Get your tickets now at rugarbage.com and we'll see you on the road. Back on the block. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah.

It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's good to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She drank all the milk. OK. So if you're looking for a bowl of cereal,

I'm screwed. You're going to have to use coffee creamer. All right. Second time I told her, don't drink all the milk. All right. All right, fair enough. Seven hours down the drain. Mike Coase is coming at you from right next to me.

He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman of my best pal in the whole wide world give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan Everybody thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you're ready You subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube also full video available over there on Spotify, baby And those numbers are cooking charts over. I know then the The best website of all time my brain the the the best website of all time My brain is most the best website of all time WWW.patreon.com such already garbage go over there get all that bonus content gang and gang

We couldn't be more excited that were incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time He is a very funny very successful stand-up comedian podcaster and author and you might have seen him in but not limited to You got Gotham Comedy Live, Fox and Friends, Nashville Squares, The Tonight Show. As of recently, you can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, Net Positive. He has multiple stand up specials out, including John Crist would like to release a statement.

What are we doing in his brand new special emotional support, which already got three million views over there on the YouTube. He's got his book, Delete That, and he's going to be kicking off a full tour August 31st in Las Vegas, Nevada at the Encore Theater, the Jokes for Humans Tour. Do me a favor. Give it up for Mr. John Chris. Oh, man. That's the best intro I ever got. Thank you, buddy. And I did it with the ears going in that. Luke, throw me curve balls. You're killing me over there. We've got a new setup, but he screwed us Kristen here coming in and out I got a jacket look at my jacket He's got on I got it you're in here blowing it really showing your ass look at you crawling in like a rat He's under the table. Yeah, this is an all-time flub by new guy Luke. That's actually might have fixed it there big dog

That's a little crisp Yeah, thank you Lucas Patukas appreciate you bud. We got to get you an all-black like a stagehand. It's gonna go back out again Yeah, he's fired. I don't know what you're talking about John. Thank you so much for coming in buddy I apologize for Luke's behaviors thus far Look at the do look at the beat Tight good-looking kid good-looking guy 34 35. Yeah, I'll take that 41 41 Those veneers are they yours now these are real Got under where you got on oh, yeah, let's get to it

I've never been caught up. So we also Get pretty bogged down on how he looked right away. Hey, good looking. Hey, what do you want? I've been at an house in a couple of days. Buddy, give us the backstory. Give us the origin story. Oh, no. Yeah.

The Southern boy, I believe. Is that right? Southern boy. Yep. One of eight kids. Whoa. Wait, you are? Your parents are Yep. Uh one of eight That's what's funny about it.

That's all the time we have. We're good. Hold on a second. And, uh, okay. Where are you from exactly? Lil'Burn, Georgia. Sounds like a rapper. Lil'Burn?

He just got shot, didn't he? Shot out Lil'Burn. He's in with that Drake. It's not a good start. Lil'B burn, Georgia We're George. Oh, yeah, how do you spell the LIL LIL B? You are in one word? Yes, little burn a posture One of eight kids yeah, dad's a preacher yep, what's your mom do?

Stay at home mom eight That's a lot of daycare you're paying for Well so my so my I Wish any of these were made up, but my my extended family is Amish really Where where like where I'm so my parents my grandparents split off from the Amish community and went to met Mennonite Right like yeah, I'm just like but electricity. Yeah, it's a minute. I can watch football Yeah, but they still know they don't believe in health care. They don't believe in war. I see them at the Wawa outside

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Lancaster, Pennsylvania. That's where my parents are from. No, we spent every Christmas Really? Watch your family and you'll really would go on a bus Like look at these fucking haircuts. He explains the pies you brought. Yeah. Yes, so they My family my parents grew up like that. They became Mennonite and then my dad went to seminary and then my dad went to seminary. And then he, if Amish, if Mennonite broke off from Amish, Pentecostal kind of broke off from Mennonite. Yeah.

No shit. Wait, so your parents were both Amish. Extended family, like grandparents. What does that mean? What does this mean, stop him? Or what does this mean? You went like this. This guy's putting the whole system on trial. He's gave me what his homage magic

And he's tricking and you read my thoughts Throw some skittles in front of me. I just get distracted Wait your pride. I realize that well. He's the only one to ever pick up on I have an odd body language thing with you where I have to clear the air because I get confused. Your grandparents were your grandparents. Your grandfather broke off. Yeah. So then they were they.

So they were in like the same town or whatever. Yeah. Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Holy shit. May I say he was a ran a dairy, dairy farmer. That's crazy. Probably good milk. Great milk. Yeah. Great, ran a dairy. No way. A dairy farmer. That's crazy, man. Probably good milk. Great milk. Yeah, great.

I thought he needs some. Yeah. OK. Wait a minute. That's pretty good. Um, wait. So how would you guys go back and spend Christmas there? Weren't they shunned?

We still do. All right. So in the- You go to the Mennonite side, not the Amish side. Oh, OK. We go to the Amish side. But they're Mennonites now. Yeah. you're not hanging with the Amish hanging with the man We're hanging with the obvious you must roll on like a dude from the future. Yeah

People they're like what yeah, they don't know about the tonight show, but if they Impressed no well, okay So if you leave so the Mennonite is, the Amish Church is having problems now because people are finding out about stuff. Sure. Like the internet. Sure. Like if it just, when you- Oh, they're finding, yeah, I gotcha. Well, every cult, it's not a cult,

I love the family I'm from, but every religious org has to have control of information. Sure. Sure. And once a kid goes, wait, what? What are they doing in Times Square? I'm outta here. I'm outta here. Everybody. Yeah. So everybody, so you know what Rumspringer is? Yeah, what? What are they doing in Times Square? I'm out of here. Everybody. So everybody, you know what Rum Springer is? Yeah, what's the rate on that? Don't a lot

of them, probably less and less are going now. The temptations are greater. So at 18, you can go out, do whatever you want for as long as you want. And then once you come back and join, you got to be under the rules rules of the bishop so a lot of people what they're doing now is leaving and then hanging around the community and never joining so they can have an iPhone but they're they're in the world a little bit yeah but they're chillin but they still like to have the baked goods and they're still Christian but they're like you know I vape sure yeah and I shouldn't say that about but they're like you exposed know, I vape. Sure. Yeah, and I shouldn't say that about, but they're like, you exposed us and all your garbage.

It's like, it's like when you don't ever see this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm Jimmy Fallon. He's sitting down with Jimmy Fallon and Robert De Niro. I love the Amish. The best. I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos about Amish people recently. That's crazy. And also, I mean, that's like, man, they throw.

I work to dirt bags from the Philadelphia area. So like that's like, yeah, crazy. They throw out a buffet up there near Dutch Wonderland. That'll blow the world's largest buffet is out. A lot of baked goods. Well, you know, know the Mormons, they're the ones that don't do caffeine. Yes.

Salt Lake City can't get a cup of coffee. Can't do caffeine. So, but we, I said if the religion, because they updated, they're like, all right, we gotta include black people. Like back in the 70s, which is very like- There was no black Amish? No, this is Mormons.

Okay, there was no black Mormons. Yeah, so they were like no caffeine. You could tell it's kind of, the rules were kind of created on the go because it really should be no sugar. Gotcha. Right? Sure, that makes sense.

Because they were like no caffeine, but back in the, remember the 80s, like caffeine was like, you have a Dr. Pepper for bed and you don't know what you're gonna dream about. Sure. And now it should, if they're updating, the Mormons should be, sugar we grew up sugars great

Hey, look at us. Yeah, no one ever no one that when I was growing up. No one ever had a problem No one ever was like watch the sugar. Yeah never no we have pixie sticks, dude I know we still got them here We're not going to get them. You got them here if you need any. We're not homies. The candy. The black people in. You get rid of the sugar. You're trying to explain this to them. They're all just staring at

you. Alright. Wow. Yeah. Okay. So, how are you able to go back? Okay. Because your grandparents were obviously in Yeah. In in the church. My great-grandmother was in Amish church. So, So they weren't shunned That's not necessarily shunned or they were no they left they left the Amish Church, okay? So there's there's still an olive branch between them and the community they still hang okay Yeah, whose house do you stay at when you guys go back there for Christmas? I stay in a hotel So there's a place called. This is gonna blow your mind, but there's a place out north of Sarasota

You look at other sort of New York Sarasota, Florida. It's called pinecraft It's like Amish. I don't know what any way to describe its Amish Las Vegas. I Know this is this is my life you guys now. I'm just joking. This is crazy So I'm a so doubt so every if you have to join the Amish Church, okay Okay, so you're you're you pretty much report to your, you know, Christianity, you can kind of just be out here. You're hanging. Yeah, yeah, there's no accountability.

I'm in, I'm out, maybe, maybe not. Yeah, whose church do you go to? I watch online. There's not a lot of rules. The Amish communities are very close knit. So you are in charge of the pastor you report to. So the, the, the Florida bishop is kinda, it's like spring break bishop.

He's kinda chill. Yeah, he's like a summer school teacher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they have bikes. Whoa! No cars, they have bikes with electric motors though. I know, I know. Wait, so that's where you go at Christmas.

You don't go to Lancaster. Yeah, pinecraft, we go to pinecraft. Lancaster we used to go to for my first 30 years of life. Now we go to the spring break. And when you would go to where you go at Christmas? You don't go, you don't go to Lancaster. We got to Pinecraft. Lancaster, we used to go to for like my first 30 years of life. Now, we, now we go to the spring break. And when you would go to Lancaster, where would you stay at? Like one of your cousin's house? Hotel. You'd

still stay at a hotel. So you weren't staying in the house with no electricity or anything? No, no, no, no, we don't go in that. No, we can, well, my parents broke up with it. My parents aren't with that. Okay. We wouldn't, they wouldn't do

that. Well, who do you go and visit up there? Just the the community. So, all the cousins, all the people. Where are you doing that? Making leather belts and stuff like that. Where are you doing that? At like their house? They're all around the community. We go visit them. Nice. See what they're up to. What's that like? What's what's an Amish Christmas? Probably pretty homey. They don't celebrate

Christmas. No. No. Devils won't. They don't have Christmas. Oh, there's no Christmas tree and like, you know, apple pies and no probably ham and all that stuff. Well, is it all food with you? They don't have sure bird or hey, hey, hey. So, you just do that at that time. Do you guys celebrate Christmas? Yeah, we do but my cousins don't. Your cousins up there don't. Yeah, they everybody kind of broke away and they decided what they, what they're doing. What they don't do. They don't do Halloween up in the arm.

No, we don't do Halloween. You don't do Halloween. My family don't do Halloween. Which I have a joke in my show. It's like, how could we believe, believe in this God of the universe? It's almighty, all powerful. Then the six year old puts on an Elsa dress. It's like, man, nothing I can do. We lost her. Get the kid the Snickers. We lost her. Holy the Snickers, will you? Yeah, we lost her. Holy shit. Wow. Okay. This might be the first Amish bloodline, right? We have?

There's a lot of pressure. And the tagging guy wants. Yeah. All right. So let's back this up. I'm baffled. All right, so, oh, but you specifically grew up in Georgia, right?

My dad moved to Georgia to start a, in essence, it's called the Atlanta Vineyard, a Pentecostal church. Started his own church? Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Okay. And where do you fall in the eight kids?

Third. Your third oldest? Yeah, third from the top. How many boys, how many girls? Five boys, three girls. Five boys how many girls five boys three girls five boys three girls where'd your dad meet your mom at Mennonite College really Goshen college she was Mennonite to yeah Goshen Indiana what says there's a Sarasota in New York Atlanta Utah I never heard of this there's a Sarasota, New York Atlanta, Utah. I never heard of this

These cans are all fucked up Luke's got my key Sarah say the last I got it Listen your arm is you can't be judging me Take that with a grain of salt or a bale a whatever you guys Halloween mass and scare the shit out. I always got to Alright, they're gonna meet. I'm there's a big Amish community in Ship, Shawana, Indiana That's a real name of the city. There's six hundred and fifty people that live there. There's there's a blue gate theater I every year I go there I sell seven thousand tickets Really, I wish I could sell a ticket in New York City.

Sure, yeah, yeah. But ship Shawana. Wait, do you have a big Amish following? Like a very conservative, like a Christian following. Amish adjacent maybe. Yeah, they kind of like, they're like, our buddy down the street has Netflix. That's kind of my... Gotcha.

Yeah, that's awesome. We're not gonna, we still go to church, but like if you heard this Cardi B Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I Because my parents we we were homeschooled because they didn't want us to learn about evolution No kidding. Yeah, I mean I listen I went to public school. I don't ever remember anybody But do we really learn about evolution? Couple of weeks, I think. Really? I just remember the diagram of the monkey walking

and all of a sudden it was a dude. I know, I mean. That's enough, right? That's enough to get you. Yeah. All right, I'm with that. Not too much, dude. He's gone, we left him, yeah.

So your mom did the teaching. Yeah. Now how was that conducted? So wait, what's the what's the full span between the youngest and the oldest? Alright, so I'm 41 my oldest brother's 45. The youngest is probably 25. So it was every two years for 16 years So my mom was either pregnant or breastfeeding for 16 years So how many kids are in your class, would you say, as you're coming up? At the most. I won.

You know what I mean, like how many kids was your mom speaking at school? Oh, my four brothers, I remember. So about four. About four. But they're different grades. Right. They still have, I think.

But your brother would write a message in like the, you know, chapter eight, and then two years later you'd get. You get the book. Oh, yeah. You have textbooks? Yeah, you get the book. Yeah. Textbooks. Yeah, they're like Christian. Again, they'd be like, if Jesus had five loaves and two fish,

he gave three loaves away. How many like all the math was taught in the Bible. They always make those loaves of bread look so good. Yeah. I don't know what it was. Jews kill your savior. How many? How many do you have left? Yeah. Holy shit! For question one! Gang, this is an ad by BetterHelp.

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throw it on the pan. Shoot. I got to shred a taco bowl in a gullet with a water. I'm out the door. two minutes, throw it on the pan, shoot, I got to shred a taco bowl in a gullet with a with a water, I'm out the door. Let's go. It's fantastic. So here it is. Get started at factor meals dot com slash garbage 50 off and use code garbage 50 off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code garbage 50 off at factor meals dot com slash garbage 50 off for 50% off plus free shipping. Factormills dot com slash garbage 50 off. Do it. Do it. So you did that all the way through high school I went to my mom when she had the eighth kid she kind of went into like a depressed it like this is which I would have had that after too like she was like she went into

postpartum and then we they sent us to private school private school yeah privacy there's an asterisk on this private school. I Sweater vest and Oh Christian school. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I should just say Christians How old were you when that happened eighth grade eighth grade and this so you got to do high school pretty regularly? Yeah, once it once it yeah five days a week, right? Yeah, I went to high school. It was a regular experience Yeah, I mean it was still you still had to tuck your shirt in we still had to stay the Pledge of Allegiance and memorize Bible Scriptures and stuff we did the Pledge of Allegiance. I think that's everybody. Yeah, everybody. Yeah No, Tommy Red-blooded American here candy corn. I'm at the devil. Okay

And how big was this house? I feel like you guys like investigators We are like we're trying your track But there's no, this is mostly scientific. Oh, the jury's not out anymore. No, no, no, no. They came back in three minutes. I'm teetering to be honest with you. They're like, I'm trying to convince the last witness, but you're already. I do, the way you look and dress, I figure from, he's outside Vegas or something. He was born, you know what I mean? He grew up off the strip. That's worse. He's got a good, I mean, you're put together,

good teeth and everything. Oh yeah. I don't know how I work out. It's all that milk. Yeah. He's fucking about. Kid's all vitamin D. Okay.

All right, so how big was the house? How many bedrooms was this house? It was a refurbished. You don't refurbish a house, you refurbish a cell phone, not a house. It was a refurbished Where you don't refurbish a house you refurbish a cell phone. It was a refurbished train station The train still come oh, I mean it's just right next to the train track it doesn't stop there though anymore You grew up next to the train tracks I've never verbalized any of this out loud but it

does sound and that's all I would I would walk into every room ago I grew up next to the train track I did yeah you would train a train would go by at night all the time but we're talking we talking talking to train I don't know what kind of trains it's not a commuter it was like a coal car yeah yeah it's not people waiting outside the bedroom to catch the it gets a 603 to work Should be buying a minute Running late all week. What else was in the neighborhood? There was this place was a candy store a

clock shop That's like any church. USA. Yeah, small town. Your dad's church. No, we were in another city. We on the other, we weren't in the same city. I mean, yeah. All right, so all right, hold on. Did your dad build this church?

He started it, yeah. Like build the building? Yeah. No, he didn't, but we think we bought, we was in a strip mall. What? You know, churches now are like, you know, those cool pastors.

You ever seen those like cool Justin Bieber's pastor? Sure. They didn't like in like converted home. No, I know. Yeah. Churches aren't like old school churches are cool. And for sure, it's not like like an ornate Catholic. What would your dad lean more? Joel Olsteen than like what I'm thinking of as like a pastor and like a small town church. No, he would. I mean, we would do a lot of

this isn't going to help me at my cause, but like speaking in tongues. You know what that is? Mm hmm. Like if you pray for someone, they fall over because the Holy Spirit. Yeah, of course. Yeah. They put a blanket over you. No kidding. Man, where were you? You got to go to church.

You have to where were you baptized? Were you baptized in like a river or something like that? I was baptized. I was baptized at us. Well, we once we grew out of the strip mall, we split a church, we rented a church from a seventh day at Venice, because if you don't know anything about them, they meet on Saturdays. They believe the Sabbath is Saturday. OK. So they got Sunday.

Yeah. So we're just like, we'll just take a time here. Yeah. Church time share. Yeah. You're in a church time share. Yeah. And did you guys have baptism? That's where we had a baptism. I got baptized at the Seventh Day Venice Church. What was the body of water? Was it like water?

Yeah, but was it like a, like, was it a pool, a tub? Yeah, it was like a pool up behind the stage, and it's like elevated behind it. So it was in the church. It wasn't like, okay. Oh, not like in a river. Okay. When do you do that in your religion? When do you get back? Not when you're a baby? No, I was nine. No kidding. Yeah. Was that a powerful experience? I imagine it would have to be.

Yep. So, I remember cold. My dad. So, he's like, you ever heard of like someone getting like saved or like converted? Yeah. Sure. Alright right, so he kind of draws out this like, basically like he's like, God is here, humans are sinful, they're here, there's a chasm or a canyon in the middle, the cross of Jesus was like kind of, so you can be with God. He kind of drew it out on the two by four

while he was doing construction. Okay. I only say that because that's how I accepted Christ and they still have the two by four. You saw, he explained it to you written on a two by four when he was doing construction and that's what saved you that thing. I got seen that. I would like to do that. Wow.

That's awesome. I feel like you feel that. I don't remember anything. I was a baby. But was it a, what, oh they just blessed you or something? Yeah, it was a Catholic. But was it a what oh they just blessed you or something? Yeah, it's Catholic Church Yeah, it was like it was like a you kind of can't be Saved before the well everybody has the different age of accountability some say it's six or something like that Yeah, you can't make a decision on your your the eternal life

Hey, you're telling me you're making You make the decision you say I want to be saving you have to the Bible says you had a profess with your mouth and believe in your heart You guys have a party afterwards little something. Well, he went to a Mexican restaurant Yeah, I have a joke in my show now. He's like I Can't get a reason to the train station. He's going to church his trip mall and he's hanging out a Mexican joint after his baptism station he's going to church at his trip mall and he's hanging out at a Mexican joint after his baptism. The craziest guy I've ever met. You sitting there soaking wet eating chips and salsa. They have towels for you. Okay. So what did your dad move into after... How big is the congregation?

We have to get back to the train station. This is fast. Converted train station, which my parents bought for like $25,000 all cash. Probably beautiful, I would assume. It's redone now. Yeah. It's in, yeah,

Lilburn, Georgia. It's like the kind of the city Center or whatever the train station if people come on like tours of our house like a victory live there Torian home tours Can I find it probably? That's probably nice. Is your dad handy? Yeah, it builds everything no shit. Yeah, so what did you guys move into after the strip mall? Then we went to a it's now it was in like a building a racket ball court Wait you say a racquetball court. Oh, yeah, racquetball court. I zoomed I tuned out for a second. We're in a racquetball court in church now That's it wow, that's it. That's it. Wow, that's beautiful. Wow.

That's more house than I was. Did he do all that? Yeah, he did. That's gorgeous. American flag, maybe. Is that good? Does that go towards me? That's a beautiful home.

Does that help me or no, American flag? No, that's good. Yeah, you got a sign. That's a real class. That's a nice spot right there. Yeah. And I'm sure the property then that's gone up way up Yeah, so your dad did okay dad was doing okay. Yeah, how big is the congregation now?

Oh, he'd left to become the mayor of the city He's the mayor of Loverin, Georgia Are you kidding me? Yeah, he left. Yeah. Holy shit! I've said it a bunch about other guests, but I cannot get a read on this guy. He is all over the place. He left being the preacher to become the mayor. Holy shit!

The mayor? Of Lilburn, Georgia. Johnny Crist. That's a vote for Johnny Crist. Yeah, how could you not? Eight goons running around yeah all of varying degrees of you know success What are some of the other professions that the brothers and sisters do okay? We got a pastor. You had another pastor? We got a guy that works, two guys work in finance.

Okay, pretty good. Yeah, one's builds homes. Nice. Great. And one works in real estate. Look at that. That's a good, that's a sharp good family. If you had asked my dad, he would say scoreboard. He's like, my kids are, look at them, they're all successful. Killing it. Yeah. He's the mayor. He's, look at them, they're all successful. Killing it.

Yeah. He's the mayor. He's the mayor. That's coming from the mayor. How long's he been in office? That's a guy you trust. Well, I went to rehab in 2009. Hey, cheers to that.

Goddamn train running by the house every night. Who's not going to want to have a drink? I'd be a little on edge too. You know what I mean? I went to rehab. Other than that, yeah, the blemish on the record. Did you go to college I went to Sanford University on a walked onto the tennis team

get the fag you ever played tennis before yeah played all yeah fucking though Chris and how that works he said there one day picks up because feel the power of Christ and just walks out starts acing it I'm going to college It's gonna take me everywhere Where were you playing tennis at the the the? Lilburn City Park is right across the street from the house because of the train station we that all they had was tennis courts So we just played there no kidding. Yeah, you got good enough to get a you walk on well

I didn't have any I didn't have anything else to do I just played all day What's really in the home no no TV no TV no what was like that what was the entertainment books and stuff like we would listen to the radio Christian radio 91.5 yeah W255 we would so they would, like, in 1991, the Braves were in the World Series, and my dad rented a TV. Whoa. And we would watch the games, but when the game was not on,

we'd put a, my dad would put a black trash bag over that he didn't want. Is that signals, is that radio signal? Is that just? You know, outside influences. Okay. You know, coming into the, we're not allowed to turn it on until the game. Wow. that signal? Is that radio? Is that just outside influences? Okay. You know, coming into

the we're not allowed to turn it on until the game. Wow. It was very like in a lot of a lot of you see a lot of that today and like very, you know, how everybody's like the the the drag queens are going to read books to the kids like is

that really happening? We're not sure but they're terrified of it. Gotcha. The right is. Yeah. Is that fair to say? that fair to say? Yeah so your dad was more of like the idea of this happening. Yeah everybody was like very, my mom they decided, somebody told them the more Christians, the more kids you have the more you could populate the earth with Christians. Yeah I mean my mom, Irish Catholic, my mom's 109. I like how everything else was objectionary and I said that and you're like, well, that lines up. He's all these old world people are crazy that I buy. He was word of

bad fool out game. Wait, so. Hi, yeah, I just I mean, how did you let's go catch a smoke? Hold on. Your brothers are in financial. So you guys must have been good in school when you got to. Did everybody eventually go to a regular high school? Yeah. OK. Did you do good in high school? Were you a good student? No. Really? My brothers were. But like, I think a lot of I've like a like a whatever you call.

Not a I had a learning disability. I went because they were like take the test we don't know what grade this guy's in we never the system had never seen this case 38 years old he's like they don't know what to do so they told the tune of it never seen anything they don't know what grade he's in he's like the campaign matamba they know how old he is who Who is the, remember, yeah, so they go, well you have to take this test

to see what grade you're gonna be in. So then I show up, and then I'm making friends with these kids, yeah, I'm making friends with all these kids, and like sixth grade, I have this like, on the other wing, this class where you're like playing memory and like saying shapes and like triangles. I'm like, does anyone else have this? They're like, memory and like your shapes and like triangles I'm like does anyone else have this class we never heard of that

anybody else in shapes and sounds like in that it's in the it's in like the elementary building and I've that I found out like after I graduated that I had a learning disability that no one told me about and they're like you just they're just like go six period just go up to miss nor Norla. And she's going to teach you about triangles. And like if you rotate a triangle, when does it matter? Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ace that class? I think they got my brain up to where I was supposed to be.

Yeah. Yeah. I was never ahead, but I was I could survive. Yeah. Um, growing up, you guys, I would assume, sit down, have dinner together every night. Your mom's cooking every night. How was she in the kitchen? Aces, bro. Lights out. What was it? What was your favorite that she did? Lights out by the roast beef was unbelievable.

Would she make like biscuits and stuff like that from like did she had a my dad got her a wheat grinder. Well, to like, you know, like somebody like makes a muffin. But like, like, you know how like, somebody like makes a muffin, but like, yeah, you made it from the thing. It's in a box or whatever. What did the box make it from and what did they make it from?

It's like starting with grain. Really? Can make bread. That's awesome. So it was homie. Loving home, would you say? Yeah, I mean, there wasn't, numbers wise, there wasn't enough love. Sure. Just time wise to go around

for everybody. So that's probably why I do. What a very diplomatic, very mayoral way to say that. I would say. But everybody was on board. It was it was it was cozy. It was homey. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And your brothers are like kind of your best friends. Sure. You guys are out running around playing tennis, football, all that kind of stuff. Not football Oh, yeah football now does anybody not talk to each other? Is there any everybody's friends? Yeah, and everybody's kind of different We have a lot jokes my act about the family group text cuz everybody's married to a regular person

Or like a yeah an outsider and we're not Got some sort of freak I grew up in a normal house. A regular person. Hell dwellers. So everybody, I think, has had this, that you, that they go, and the in-laws are chatting. They're like, the Christ's are nuts. Yeah, have you guys, they're going, have you, the ones...

I have those muffins and they shut the fuck up, huh? The one won't go near a microwave. It's great. You're like, whatever. Yeah, there's a lot of like obviously my parents are a lot of a Vaccines because they don't because the other Amish don't believe in health care They're like if God it's God's will, you know, like the so what'd you do when you got sick as a kid? Road it out road it out. Damn. And my brother, we were playing something in the park one time and I need him in the temple and he was down, laid down for hours. That's our future and that'll take you the hours. Laid down and we couldn't and my mom was like drink some Sprite. Get that sugar

in you boy. Yeah and so for, it was probably five days, he literally couldn't get up. He couldn't get up and finally, reluctantly, we laugh about it was probably five days. He literally couldn't get up. He couldn't get up and Finally reluctantly we laugh about it now, but they took him to the hospital and they were like if you to come in here another Yes, brain. So he was swelling with blood his brain was sway is a giant scar all the way down here because Yeah, drain is drain the blood from his head because that we don't, it's that God created, I'm not joking, God created, like there's a lot of Pentecostal churches

that handle snakes, poisonous snakes. You know, people have done documentaries. They're like, we believe that if you get bitten, I don't believe this. You don't have any snakes on you right now, do you? No, no, no, no, no. That it's God's will, you showing faith by handling these snakes. I don't believe that. That it's God's will, you showing faith by handling the snake.

I don't believe that. But that's logical to me. If the snake bites you, that means you're a bad person. No, that means, yeah, that was God's will. You're going, I trust God not to hurt me. And I'm going to go into a better place anyway. I'm not on board with that. That's a lot.

I can draw that line. You know how the- I wouldn't pass the snake test, I don't think. You know how the- You wouldn't pass the triangle test I don't think you know how the triangle test Bring it back. You know the Mormons do like soaking and stuff like that you ever heard of it. Yeah, okay What we don't soaking the sex thing? Yeah, okay weirdo Where you just put it in and they're not a lot of yeah technically not set and then you get you

Get somebody they have someone to work your hips is that that true or is that a myth? Somebody under the bed. I hear that it's called like a thruster. Well, I say I say in jest about other sex or denominations that are more extreme, but we're kind of with that what you know I'm saying like we don't do that, but virginity is very important. Yeah, and then so they're like that's a loophole. Gotcha. You know does that make sense? Yeah? So you can see you're like the snake handling that doesn't really make any sense, but you're like One or two before that is like yeah, where's your we believe that if the God is but then I believe we're like well

You should take some Tylenol if you're But very nobody would do like an antidepressant or and how are your parents as far as you? Expanding like you coming up with your own way to live like you yeah, they well with that Well, I started doing comedy for the first like ten years in church Gotcha a lot of those a lot of you southern guys do yeah, I was like I was just doing the churches Yeah, I was like I was just doing the churches Nate Dusty's been through You saw TV like when's the last time you so you grow up watching watching like

Never no we didn't let anything like rugrats or that was all like Kai you he was like, you know mean like, like, rugrats or that was all like, uh, Caillou, he was like, you know, mean to his parents, like all the, uh, all the, we, we saw like. Would you see this at your friend's house? Yeah, like a friend's, we would go over for dinner and there would be like

the Disney movies. I remember like seeing the Lion King and you're like, what? Yeah. This is unreal. You're spitting at the TV. He's there with snakes. They're your friends. Nah, I'm just kidding. Kip, what do you know about Cigars International? Ooh, I'm all about international cigars.

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Visit your local Chevrolet dealer for details. So your friends were obviously, they wouldn't be like me, they were also still more religious and conservative. What are you? A fucking dirtbag. You know what I mean? Like you weren't coming over and we weren't stealing my dad's smokes or whatever. No, no, no, no, no.

So they were still more reserved. But they were still Christian. They were still Christian based. They maybe went to school. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, they had TVs. But it was very limited. What they even that had.

No, what we were allowed to. If the parents were eating dinner, what's going on in here what movie your mom your mom and dad want to know yeah everything because they want to kind of keep the keep the reins yeah I get that okay yeah what was the first time you saw a porno dude I saw what did you whisper it yeah I saw me my brother were riding bikes at this place called the mud flats where like it was like a we ride bikes down there all the time and we why we rode there was a ditch I never forget this and there was a playboy open and I never I mean I had to been later than other

Ten yeah, and we me and my brother Joe we looked at it and we knew we shouldn't save yeah we knew we were out we knew bro and that's about Rumsbringer oh yeah we knew but then I remember like every other I'm still a human like I remember laying in bed that night and trying to figure out a human like I remember laying in bed that night and trying to figure out a situation where I could get back there and get your hands

on it. Yeah. Go back. Telling you where you plan on telling your brother. Not now. No. I gotta get back there. I gotta go. Hey, I gotta go like try to organize a situation where you could. You're gonna go get there on your own. Yeah. I left

my gun back. I gotta go baptize myself. Whoa. Huh? Man. College was somewhat normal. Sorry. One second. Okay. Yeah. Go. No college was, when do you start getting out into the world? Is that a religious college? Uh, it was Christian Christian Christian college where we had like, I mean, then we had Sanford university, but there was like a, uh, a proxy on the, you couldn't just look up whatever you wanted on the internet. I mean this is 2002 but they had filters on the internet. Damn. So you couldn't type in like boobs or something. They would be like and then somebody would, hey you can't be doing that. No shit. Yeah

people get in trouble for that all the time. Holy cow they know. So then the internet was different back then because Because there was like a pro, you had to enter this like secret website to get around. Yeah, yeah. My man, loopholes. Yeah, but people are always. Johnny Luke, I'm gonna start calling him. It is.

Oh yeah. Mud flaps and loopholes. Mud flats. Mud flats, mud flaps is a fucking stripper board. Mud flats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go down to mud flaps ah Alright now what do you would yeah, what's your relationship with medicine now?

Yeah, I think if you're gonna if you're gonna break your wrist and you're gonna put it in the sling People's brains are the chemicals aren't firing right and then you're just like let's give you some So we can fire them right and people are on their feet. I got no problem with an antidepressant. What'd you go to rehab for? Alcohol. Okay, so you're off the booze now? You're five years sober. Congratulations. Because of the Lord. Well, I always argued the Lord might have got me there, but he also got me out. Yeah, what is that? I guess what is that? It's a joke, but

yeah. Where does the logic fall on that of? Where does he So like is it that you? Didn't follow his plan and started drinking well what happened was so I started I never touched alcohol till I was like 30 well I never and and I feel you got a start younger Yeah, I started young and all my buddies that didn't do anything till later. They then you know after they make I started young and I ended up in a bad spot. Buddy you're still in a bad spot. We gotta save you some. He's like I think there was a lot of in terms of sheltered, very sheltered. Don't show them anything of the world. But we're like we're all we're going to the

flip side is that we're going to learn. We're going to see you're going to figure out masturbation at some point, whether you tell us about it. I went to rehab for that or alcohol and then I started becoming like very popular in Christian circles. And then I remember getting exposed to you. And then I had to like kind of, it was so stressful and everybody knew me and then I started like

having a kind of like a secret life. Cause I was so. You didn't want that stuff public. And then everybody, and then the shame of church, that's what we joke about you go to church to try to get rid of the shame But the but the religion also gave you the shame Yeah, it's a tricky you go to church. You still go to church now. You're very connected. Mm-hmm. Yeah

Fascinating wild story man. Huh? What was the first job? Chick-fil-a wow, yes, we weren't allowed. It's Christian. No, sh- were you not allowed to work at like a pizza place or nothing like that? No, no, no. Because, dude, think about that. What you mean, dude? Think about going, think about your parents raising you and then you're just gonna go- to go work with you at a pizza shop. Yeah, these heathens out there, you don't know what they're- you'd be like, cigarettes are good, kid. Wait, but they figured Chick-fil-A was okay. I see Joe Pesci from Home Alone. Because they figured he just saw that. This is unbelievable. I'm lost in New York. This new movie, my cousin, Vinny. Wait, so they figured Chick-fil-A because it was Christian, you could go work there. Yeah, it's Christian. But think about if you like when

we go to the we go to the Amish community for Christmas for fun at night. Okay, they they play shuffleboard. That's that and the stick. Yeah and everybody kind of watches. That's like the everybody gathers around then. But they're not doing

Christmas. You just go up there at that time. Yeah, it's a holiday because the the the harvest the the seasons are switching But there is a holiday around yeah, cuz everybody has been planted and then if you're like, let's say you're you're making things You still have to you're selling them to the people that they're off Right. I'm saying if you're a machinist, you're like, well, we sell our carts to, and they're off for the holidays. So they do vacate.

They observe a time off. Yeah. But in terms of religion, if you go, these people, what does somebody in New York need to do to get a little dopamine rush? They need to drink to to get a little dopamine rush. They need to drink smoke lookups. No, drink

smoke. Get with some girls. Get on social media. Go to a rave and like and the Amish people just to get the same high. Play shuffleboard. Aren't they winning? I listen. Yeah, I would argue it's like if you watch too much pornography Yeah, then start chasing the dragon get like well. I'm just sensitized Yeah, I mean an ominous guy came to and lived lived a day in the life of me you'd be fucking go nuts

You know what I mean? I would get quote High yeah now by after I would get some door-dash And then gamble on the late coast the late west coast NBA game after my show because I'm kind of you're still chasing the go chase like Like booze and stuff. Yeah, I don't do that anymore. What was the drink of choice if you don't mind me and I would drink grapefruit deep eddies Anything normal with you what Moses Great deep and what you anything normal with you what Moses?

Great pews in the desert we've Eddie deep Eddie's you know what that is no we find that it's just seven up nothing on it oh Deep Eddie is the brand yeah, deep Eddie's vodka. Oh great for vodka, but I would just like straight Yeah, you know just straight. I never understood like socially I was like this feels awesome to get drunk. Yeah, it's great Don't have to sell us on that Okay, so let's say you know if you don't mind me jumping in here a little bit What uh what would that look like you do a show and then have it after the did anybody in the green were you hiding it? In the green. Yeah, it was like we went on this we went on who knew ah Jesus the Lord yeah, yeah, we went on this... Who knew? Ahhhh. Jesus. The Lord.

Yeah, there you go. We went on this tour, this arena, this Christian arena tour. You guys are killing it. It's called Winter Jam. So it was a bunch of bands, I was the comedian on it, and it was a dry tour. So you can't, because of the witness, you don't want the Christian, you don't want them to see you drinking, obviously. Of course, yeah.

So everyone would have to put it in like another, I mean, we're all in our adults. 30s or whatever. Yeah, and then when someone tells you you can't do something, you wanna do it. Yeah, so you can't. So it's all in like Gatorade, and then everybody, you've been in a tour bus,

there's the bunks, so everybody's drinking been in a in a in on the tour bus there's the bunk so everybody's drinking alone which is way worse yeah which that's how you become an alcoholic yeah because you can't drink socially so everybody does it in private really yeah but it but it alcohol didn't really like because I came across it later. What was the first time? Man the first time I ever drank I was at this Christian Camp comes at a vodka grapefruit. No, it's a beer. Okay, and they took and I was 20 late 20 They told me we couldn't drink and I was like, no, I'm drinking cuz somebody told me I couldn't which is this makes no sense Sure. Yeah, but I'm like I'm getting around

Would your parents would your dad have wine or no did my parents I didn't know cuz At the but not do they're not the blood of Christ. They're not guido's that's They're not guido's out in Sheephead Bay My parents went to they somebody invited them over for dinner and they had pasta sauce cooked in wine and they went home They said we're not we're not doing that. We know Yeah, can't have penny all vodka. No But there are a lot of people that are are of the same denomination of Christianity that drink So it's where you draw your line or you know, yeah

It's hard to come down on anybody like all these every church is like this is what we do. Sure. And then you're like, dude, like my parents didn't really believe in like, you know, birth control or there's like God is going to open and close the womb as he sees fit. Hmm. Man, you're interesting. But your parents are okay with how you live your life. To a degree. Yeah, yeah. They think they well, they're still kind of look at the neighbor. They were still have like, you know, they they would still talk like, yeah, they're like still gossip about other people. So, I kind of just saying these things out loud is

like, dude, they think it's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. But it's all I wouldn't I never like would cuss or anything in front of your parents. Not in my show or. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. Southern guys play it straight.

They really do. No crystal light growing up. Who are all these other southern guys? I don't know you Nate. Dusty. Dusty. What were you drinking at dinner? That's the three wise men. Oh, Sweet tea. Sweet. Yeah, because sugar was all systems go.

Any soda? No, no sugar. Yeah. You'd love to have soda? Yeah. That's a spray for the headaches. Later. For the brain contusion.

Yeah. Would your mom ever make Italian food? Would you have spaghetti and meatballs? Spaghetti. Yeah? Spaghetti. Oh, yeah. Would you guys go out to eat as a kid? Yeah. Spaghetti. Yeah? Yeah, spaghetti. Oh, yeah.

Would you guys go out to eat as a kid? Well, we, you gotta think about everything's 10X. Right. So we would go to Taco Bell and after church, and I never forget this, we would always, we would go to Taco Bell, Taco Bell, beg for it, beg for it. But we could never go out to eat, because everything's. It's a lot of money for 10 people. Yeah, so we would get you get a it was like a pyramid of soft tacos. Uh huh. Probably 30.

And then one drink, one drink. Yeah, just then whoever drank the last one, go fill it back up. Oh, you don't share it. No, no, everybody shares it. Yeah. And then you just it's free refills. Suckers. I don't think that's loophole. Johnny Loops. What was the family car? A van like an 18, 15 passenger van like a church van, like one of the.

Churchmen. We'd all ride in that. Yeah. And we'd all dress like. No, you wouldn't. Yeah. We don't dress the exact same. No. What would that look like? Like everybody was wearing like a matching outfit. Every day when we went out, you went out, everybody put their white. Mom and dad, too.

No, they were all the kids were matching and like, you know, overalls or something like that. Nice. I've just saying these things out loud for the first time, and it sounds insane. That's a lot over. Yeah. Ham, a lot of hand me down. Yeah, I didn't have my own. Yeah, you just give it to the next kid. You have very a lot of over. Yeah. A lot of hand me downs. Yeah, I didn't have my own. Yeah, you just give it to the next kid.

Yeah, very a lot of gender neutral outfits. Your mom was crushing all that laundry. Yeah, we had a once the once she went into depression, we had a laundry lady. I just come into the laundry. Yeah, just laundry. Okay. Imagine that.

Brenda. Brenda. Was she in the church too? No, she's on the other. She was a outsider. They weren't a lot of Brenda. And Brenda. Was she in the church too? No, she's on the other. She was a outsider. They weren't a lot of talk to her. Uh and he weren't allowed to talk to her? Well, she was kind of a loose cannon. I'd be too. That's a

lot of socks. I'd be drinking on a job. Little a little deep Eddie vodka. Deep Eddie. Deep Eddie Eddie bro. I can't believe I just said that. A couple of deep Eddie's. Let's go. Woo! What a huh. But if you get like, what's, I mean I got the, it's probably 2000, I've been doing stand up for 15 years but I, I mean, what, I always go, what was the plan? Like I got Instagram and it was posting funny videos. Girls were like, what's up? And I was like, what? I mean, we've all experienced it, but you guys have sure experienced it because

Nope. Have you seen us? I get a lot of guys that look like me going, Hey, where'd you get that meatball parm? My husband's a huge fan. Yeah, they go, well, I just know, does no no like kind of get bullied a little bit when I went to that that school And then all of a sudden you're like you're cool You but I think comedy makes People that otherwise look at all these comics that wouldn't are not

Socially or that would fit in comedy makes us cool Right. Yeah, no, I look yeah Take that Comedy makes us cool I agree. I'd be a construction worker if it wasn't for this. Um, hmm How would you have to hold on would you have chores around the house? Yeah We had it yeah, oh every Saturday we wake up and there's a list. Cut the lawn. Do this. Oh, yeah.

It looks like from the old man likes to keep the place nice. Yeah, got to be clean. Well, they've got to be. What was the cushy job? What did you want? Did you want? Well, so there's that there's the front yard and then it was the front yard. And then the backyard was in half. So top half of the back or bottom half of the back. And then the hill. Yeah, there's a hill. So you want the top half because the back or bottom half of the back and then the hill Yeah, there's a hill so you wanted a top half because the water

Went down to the minute was thick down there and the top out and in in in in in it you're out of there the bottom I know pool. I assume no pull we did can you swim? Yeah, I can swim. Where'd you learn how to swim this girl Ashley Stewart's learning to swim this girl Ashley Stewart's house above ground pool hey go loophole we went over there she's wearing a blue bikini yeah she was I never experienced something like that before it was unbelievable I know that let's talk about now I'm sorry what was a vacation I guess to up to Lancaster? We would go to like like we would drive to like national parks and stuff. Like Yosemite, Yellowstone,

seeing the geysers. Everything had to be kind of homeschool. Everything was like a homeschool learning. Education. We learned about the Mount whatever Rushmore, let's go see okay, so every vacation was learning no video games No, so when you would go to bed at night with a trash bag on a TV after the Braves game We super Mario Brothers one of our buddies had it. Yeah My brain were you aware that video games existed? No. I mean we never heard. That's like trying to explain the internet to a doll. You're like, there's a TV, then there's a guy you play, you run around, you jump.

You jump in a plane's mouth. So what would you do at night? Tetris was just... I mean we had never seen something like this. What would you do at night before you went to bed? Would you go to the read there would be a lot of like? Building a lot of reading the Hardy Boys already that was Wild did we yeah, there's like Christian like music You know everything was green. Oh curve. What do you know any Christian bands? You ever know any Christian bands? No, not really

Dang DC talk Chris Tomlin Nothing Hillsong. Mm-hmm. None of this. Yeah, no, so so long as the church, isn't it? Yeah, he'll size. Yeah Yeah, that guy packs him in don't he? Southern kids are killing right now What time was lights out like 10 o'clock and how many how many were you in a room with five How many bedrooms was one big room above the garage he my dad built a garage gotcha. Yeah, that's pretty cool Yeah, you're a little out. You're like we're doing a lot of we were moving a lot of we got A lot of bodies up here. So we let's just it was it was like it was a detached from the house Kind of the other beds are kind of on the walls and they're like in the like, uh, that's a little bit of independence So we're like, yeah

Boys to bond a little bit all five boys over. I like that. What was the Christmas presents like? well, the the I'm the like that. What was the Christmas presents like? Well, the the the one of our grandmothers was kind of doing well. So she we always went up there to Christmas. Well, it they the dairy. Uh huh. She owned the dairy. So we would go up there for Christmas up to Lancaster and she was doing well. But she wouldn't get you like GI Joe's and stuff like no, no, no, like a Scrabble or something like that or like a

Scrabble is doing well. I got a horn and stuff like no no no like a Scrabble or something like that or like a Scrabble's doing well I got a horn or like I got a GI Joe headquarters, and that'll blow your brains out. You kidding me He got that for Christmas this year, but what do you want it when you want it if you could like starting now? Like when I went to rehab mm-hmm. It was no obviously no drugs no alcohol no women no No caffeine no sugar no fiction, no alcohol, no women, no caffeine, no sugar, no fiction books, no... even if you got a runner's high from working out, they wouldn't let you do that. So in essence, it was so sad and depressing and horrible, but it reset the... I would love that.

You go out and have a chicken sandwich. Reset your levels. Yeah, you go out and have like a sprite and it was like... So now shuffleboardboards cool again and they don't going to like the park with my nephew I was like playing golf on but that's a rehab you're good at golf great at golf what do you shoot eight handicap me and me and a good name bargassi play a pretty good what's he here no he's about a six but we play straight up when we

gamble. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we're gambling's kind of. That's a new. That's where you draw the rule. No, that's where we kind of. You're allowed to? Not really but I kind of like. I ain't talking to nobody. He wasn't allowed to drink the Ed

Hardee's or whatever the hell they were either. Hit it. Well, draft. Are you wallbangers? Draft Kings. Draft Kings was like, hey, we want to sponsor for my podcast. And I was like, what's that promo code looking? Yeah, or what would my fan base, would that be, you know what I'm saying? Like I wouldn't do like one of the sex like. Adam and Eve.

Gotcha. I wouldn't. Yeah. But either would we. That's promo code garbage. But you go, I don't know. Like Christians are kind of, I also have a joke about it in my show,

like we're kind of easing up on gambling now. They're like, yeah. That makes sense. Which all my act is very like, these things are put into perspective. It's you, yeah. But I'm still in it. I'm still in it, yeah, and that's what the whole thing is,

like well, what do we like about that? Well, again, this rule was written whenever, and now there's DraftK. So let's see how are we coping? So how and if you pray for some a team to win and then you bet on it, that's a faith. There you go. Nothing wrong with that.

Man, Jesus likes the loop. They've been making loopholes like every I think Adam Corolla had a bit about because every religion that was ever manmade, it was like, what are the guys like to do like Rastafarian? Like, we gotta get rid of what about weed? They were like, hey, what about multiple wives? Yeah, there's a lot of going on and that's what my that's what my act is. Yeah.

When did you get your passport? Ooh, I've had one forever. Forever. When did you get Yeah, no Christians are also easing up on that too. You're like we shouldn't be going over there and telling them How to get to heaven maybe? Yeah, well, this is probably not helping you ever do the thing where you guys go to like an island and talk to like A tribe or anything like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah build them a well or something like that get the fuck out of here. Yeah I'm going one in like a month. No, they're going to Peru In like a month they were going to Peru Catch in a layover he bet he's like what sales are going up There's this guy that was Alright a couple questions now very well put together very well that I keep getting eyes on that jackie Sharp guy you're very sharp guy. What brand is that?

Now do you own that or do you got to give that back How many do you know how to tie a tie how many suits do you own? Six or seven six wait hold on you said stylus put that together for you. Whoa. Yeah, it's night show. It a night show. Yeah, they had they got me and I'm Jimmy Fallon. Yeah We'll be right back No kid, I mean looking good over there. Yeah, but I think that's only because I've been able to You know like rich people look better. You're doing well. Well, they have I do pretty well We still look like shit, you know, you know those photos are like if Brad Pitt was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Madison, Adam Sandler, he dresses. Yeah. But he dresses like that ironically. Yes, of course. That's what people don't understand or like, dude, in the South, it's big like, are you, do you have this mullet? Ironically. Ironically. The

South is cool. Like, the Southern culture is very cool. NASCAR, are you at this race ironically? Because it's a thing to do. Or are you like, OMG, Dale Earnhardt Jr. Or are you like, or do you love Chase Elliott? Pitt was wearing something goofyhardt Jr. Or are you like or do you love Chase Elliott?

Pitt was wearing something goofy. It was like oversized jeans and like a weird fluffy shirt. They Bradley Cooper's got a regular tee on jeans and nice fit. Hey, page six. We got an Amish guy over here. Shut up. Have you ever seen

page? Do you know who Brad Pitt is? Page. I don't know what page six is. Yeah. Ah, man. What kind of car you I'm not why what did I say that may have seemed that he wasn't doing well. It's only the fucking land rover range rover Yeah, but you always like you know like well It was it was well. I don't do it churches anymore right so I'm in the past for the past six years I haven't done a church just because I think the relationships a little tricky you're paying money to see me And that's kind of what led to my

Rehab slash cancellation is like we thought he was going home to read the Bible cuz I saw him in church and I wasn't so like Yeah, there is a I see what you're saying. There's a responsibility to live Yeah, like if you're like a missionary to a foreign country like we're all sending you money You can't have a Range Rover because you're yeah like the preach that's the argument about the preachers these days Is there on the tithe, you can't have a jet because you told us you were. Kenneth Copeland. Yeah.

Got Tyler Perry's jet. Yeah, so that's a rub. So if I go, if I'm working in churches, you can't really be like flexing on a private jet. I get it. I feel bad that I quit smoking cigs. I feel like I let our fan base down. So I get what you're

saying. Just from another angle. Yeah, yeah. Same thing. Yeah, I got you. I mean, that's a very commendable thing. So you stepped out of that to make it more well, I just think it was a little and I wasn't living. How you felt you should be living? Yeah, I was living a secret. I'm living a secret and now I'm not anymore. It's respectable living like 20. Yeah, so if I'm a fuck. Wait, so when your family, when your mom and dad come over at the house, you got the TV and all that stuff, right? Yeah, they have a TV now. Oh, they do. It comes with the comes with the train stage.

Yeah, God is loosening. My joke is like God when I was growing up There are so many rules now God seems to be okay. You can only fight it for so long Yeah, I mean everything's you know, are you doing are you doing Christmas now? Everybody come to your house Nashville did Christmas in Nashville once. Yeah, are you doing the best of the whole family? I would say Finance man. I don't know about that. I don't know about these brothers are fine. Yeah. Well. It is kind of a You is it like that in your family. You're just trying to guess how everybody's doing. I know my brother's killing me. Oh, yeah He is So if you guys go me and so if you go to dinner he picks it up No, I he does it now. I do it. Yeah, but why because I'm trying to make up for being a scumbag on my we lived

Off our brothers for a bit. Yeah, but now you're'm trying to make up for being a scumbag on my we lived off our brothers for a bit Yeah, but now you're doing Deese. You're doing better Yeah, we're doing very well you yeah, this is TV yeah, I see I know where your podcast ranks I wouldn't be here if it was you're doing very well. I got a stylist. Yeah Waste of my time with you guys. All right, I mean, listen. Yeah.

Whew. Gotta have you back. What is their final verdict or what? Well, I mean, you're trash for sure. There's no way around that. Very tough to bounce back from with the Amish, the train stay, although a very nice, you know. That's crazy story.

I mean, yeah, you're 100%, we've barely scratched it. You you and Dusty Slay have the only. Yeah, we only made it till Dusty's 18th birthday. They graduated high school and then we have to Yeah, we have. What was your verdict on him? What? What? Yeah. Yeah, I gotcha. Yeah. He's dude. He's become more army for like 45 minutes. He's become more like conservative and Christian, not conservative in a political way. you. He's become more like conservative and Christian, not in a conservative in a

political way but like he's more. Yeah. Hey, we're going to remove ourselves from that life. We're going farming. We're we're going to make sure. He's got his **** together too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's tightening it up. You guys, you eat deviled eggs?

That's hilarious that you asked that. We didn't. No kid because they're deviled eggs. Yeah, we did. Because he asks everybody that. I didn't even put the devil. Yeah. Angel food cakes, what we had, brother. Yeah, we don't have the devil's eggs. No.

Paprika? Yeah. It was all very, a lot of stuff like that. They were like, you know. No devil's food cake. No, like stuff like horns or like any kind of. Horns. Oh my, how unfair did it come to be? Who's eating? Like stuff like horns or like any kind of

Horns off that pepper here any you ever heard like if it like backwards masking like if you listen to AC DC backwards You are devil is in your yeah that kind of stuff a lot of a lot of fear of of unknown Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it first. Yeah, of course. Yeah Hey, you missed out on a lot of good horn. I'll tell you that would you say pizza? How to Domino's pizza for sure because the personal pen we read a lot of books Yeah, remember that so you're gonna do Pizza Hut the book it yeah We will because we would come in there with we would ride our bikes to the library. Yeah game over Oh god, you're coming Chris. They did change the policy They don't have a TV We're screwed hide the cops Yeah game over. Oh god. Here come the Chris Policy

Hide the cops quick throw the horns up scare scare them Ladies and gentlemen, mr. John Chris amazing. What a story honored to be unbelievable Check out emotional support on his youtube page check out his whole youtube page And of course, he's gonna be kicking off the fall tour in Las Vegas, Nevada the Encore theater August 31st no gambling No, no gambling. No, see that's a big deal depends on the spread. We're going to yeah Christians Christians coming to coming to Vegas is a big we would never do that ten years ago I mean, that's where that's a test of God's will it Woo-wee! Yeah, but Christians are cool about that now. There you go.

Yeah, loosen up. Loosen up. Loose up. Loopholes, baby. It's all about the loopholes. Buddy, that was absolutely fantastic. We can't thank you enough. Yeah, that was amazing.

Honor to be here. We love you. Anything else you want the folks out there to know? Nah, dude, anything, dude. Come by and say hi. If you come by through a meet and greet or something like that, that if you've come from RE Garbage, that would be awesome. Go! If somebody someone knows somebody says because a lot of like I think

Like the really the comics that pods put me on the map. Yeah, that's everybody would say like Theo. Yeah Nate Andrew Santino love those those are the guys that were like I tonight shows like my first ever credit Like I do tonight shows like my first ever credit. So you think all doing my own thing and comics, the podcast, the comic podcasters have been the most supportive. Yeah. The of you know, it's like it's a it's a great community. I think it's awesome. Tom, Tim, Burt, Chelsea. Yeah. Yeah. Stavi, everybody. Yeah, we got to figure it out.

Yeah. We love Buddy. We love you. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming. Absolutely. Give you what you got for. We're on the we're on the road to fall and winter dates are on sale. RUgarbage.com. Uh get your tickets before they're gone. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.