Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Jon DelCollo!

Episode Date: January 23, 2025

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Jon DelCollo! You Know Jon DelCollo from Stand Up Comedy, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, Lil Stinkers, Shane Gillis x Bud Light | Wrong Commercial, Stoner Dadz w/ Matt McCusker, Dad Meat, The End w/ Ryan Shaner and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Pretty Litter: Go to https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage to save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy Rocket Money: https://RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE Tushy: 10% off your first bidet order at https://HelloTUSHY.com with promo code GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey there gang, do you want to come to an RU Garbage live show and ask your question? Sure you do. Good news for you, back on the block, tour tickets are on sale. We're talking about a nice stand-up comedy show, plus we play AYG with the crowd, so grab the squad and come out and see Kippy and I. The big man ain't lying, in March we're starting back up on the road. We're going to Pontiac, Michigan, Indianapolis, Indiana, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, Ohio, and Atlantic City. All tickets available at rugarbage.com.

We'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that after you're out to be classy. Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash or I'm your host

They truly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties and a new edition She's upstairs polishing her 9-eleven memorabilia. Okay, never forget That's from CS on the patreon. My co's is coming at you from right next to me unamused this week tough break. Yes I don't know what to tell you. He is the CEO of are you garbage? She is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang?

First of all, thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And now also full video available on Spotify over there. We got into Creators Program. Not available to all podcasts, but they ain't supposed to do it.

A little work release over there. Call that a mistake. And then obviously the greatest website of all time www.patreon.com. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. Yes, sir. And gang, we could be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny stand-up comedian actor and podcaster and oh gee of ours from Philadelphia One of my first friends a gang and stand-up comedy when Moses wore short pants

We were hanging out running around the streets of Philly together. It was fucking fantastic He's got a hot bud light commercial out right now. You got to check out. I forgot about that Kids all over the place Saturday Sundays, Sundays, college, pros. He's all over the joint. And you can hear him every week in his amazing podcast, Little Stinkers. Give it up for John DelCarlo. Hey, everybody.

Hey, thank you, boys. Hey, Johnny. Hey, buddy. Good to see you. How are you guys? I thought you were doing your hair in the bathroom. Yeah, I had to put a hat over it. It didn't turn out great.

He's in there, and, oh, this is going bad. I got a hat. What do you use's what's the product in the hair? I just put a little Moroccan oil in it when I get out of the shower, you know oil of Argon What do you get whenever you get a little of our guy some shit like that? Sounds like some for fucking Star Trek whatever I'm using ain't working. All right, well Klingon jizz get it going Moroccan oil I know that stuff. Yeah, that's fancy stuff. Yeah, I get about four good hair days a year.

Can I recommend something? Yeah. As a fellow follicle man? Hoagies. Mayonnaise. Castor oil. Have you heard about it? No.

Isn't that for cars? No. It was, I think, to make you throw up when you were a kid a little castor oil in there It's nice. It's better than any of those the hair gels or the pomades or whatever a little bit of castor oil You're more follicly gifted right? My shit curls up with steaming up under here as we speak I'm gonna have fucking dreadlocks again when I take my hat off give us although He did have dreadlocks at one point. I do believe you did also put a head dreads Not when I knew you no no no I dreads in an eyebrow ring my freshman year of college

That's that's a guy well. Thanks for coming That's your first white dude with dreads. We've had on the show. All right. There you go. How does that happen? You just stop washing your hair? Oh no. A lot of mid-grade weed, I believe. That was a big part of it. Goddamn, Bob Marley's great as it's got me.

I saw a Lil Wayne's Crape episode of The Right Time in My Life. Sure, that hit you. Also I do want to say you have, the first podcast episode me and Foleyley have ever recorded was a podcast we used to called the Center City Comedy Podcast And John gave us our first positive piece of feedback. We've ever received on that show He texted me because I loved the show. What submarine did you record? You guys have come a long way That was about 11 years ago. Back to the dreads. Hold on a second. I can't let this slide.

Of course. How long did it take you to build them up? Takes a while, right? And when did you decide I'm going to be a white dude wearing dreads? And nobody said anything to you? I'm sure a lot of people did. Yeah, a lot of people did. It was, I guess, senior year high school. I was like, I'm not even fucking around. I saw Lil Wayne with dreads for the first time. That's a big swing I guess senior year high school. I was like I'm not even fucking around I saw low Wayne That's a with red for the first time here a high school. I want some corn rows my way

I couldn't do it in school so I had to wait till the summer I had a Puerto Rican chick dread my are like partition my hair off, and I ordered a kit on the internet Whoa that I put like beeswax in and then dreads for white Comes with free patchouli oil or whatever and They were not Great, and you just don't wash your hair. There was a special shampoo in the little kit that I bought They stunk physically metaphorically

Every way you can think of them stinkin and how long did you keep him? I think three months. And what did your parents say? Not much about it. They were pretty happy to see me looking like a skinhead when they got back from my little sister's basketball game one day. Now was this more like like hippie dreads or like you wanted to be Lil Wayne dread? Like what, or was it a, but walked in both worlds a little bit? I was still in my G-Unit era.

Shout out, hey, I still am we're right many rap lyrics at the time I was freestyling a little bit oh don't know if I was writing anything down had to come off the dome I was all off the dome off the top as they say in the streets you get drunk you freestyle with your friends sure I've been to those parties man I. Would you stay? I'm not hiding it. No, I respect. All right. All right. How does it we got to get the backstory of how a guy decides to get dreads? Are you from Delaware? Yeah.

Wilmington, Delaware. Wilmington, Delaware. OK, take us back to their Wilmington, Delaware. Mom, dad. Yeah. Grew up. Mom, dad. Brother, sisters, older sister, younger sister. How far apart are they five years each five years? Yeah, so they're ten years apart, and they're like best friends Really yeah, I'm out of the mix And you guys grew up in a house yeah, I guess you would call it a single family home on this program

I will say it was a neighborhood of row homes Okay, our house was in the middle of the block, not only connected on one side, and in between our house and the next house was a shared driveway. Okay, wait. One garage or no garage? No garage, just led to the backyards. So it was basically like an alleyway, no one parked in there. That's where people run it from the cops. No garage. You ran down the alleyway. No one parked in there. That's her people running from the cops No garage

Not your shared driveway buddy Get the hell out of my shared driveway talking to the cops I don't know we have a shared driveway not an alleyway So I don't know if that would necessarily count as a single family. That's not so you were connected on one side So what I don't understand what a single family home is like a free stay in the hand-building. A family who loves each other. A townhouse doesn't qualify as a loving home.

Yeah, no, but you not the ones I've stayed in. They were not have dreadlocks. Wait, let's get the actual definition single family. Say if you can get a single what the proper definition of a single family home domicile. I believe it's standalone. What did your mom do? What did your dad do my dad at? One point he owned in an accessibility company. He sold like for like wheelchair ramps that kind of stuff You know one point yeah, that wasn't a good week. That wasn't the whole time okay? and then he eventually

That wasn't the whole time. Okay, and then he eventually Sold life insurance after that what happened to the business? I think he grew to hate handicapped people after some time of working with them and then didn't want to be in that business Sure, did you have like a buddy? What did he do before that? Do you know? Before that I think he worked at a hardware company. Okay. That I think was my grandfather's at some point. At some point. Yeah, a lot of his murky love blurry memories. Talking about rising and falling in America in Wilmington. What did your mom do? My mom worked for a lawyer, you know, a

secretary but okay, more of a legal assistant kind of paralegal type secretary. I think secretary is downplaying. Drafting documents and stuff like that, probably. She's, you know, transcribing whatever the guy says in the tape recorder, all that stuff. The whole time that you were growing up, that was her main thing. Yeah, she was stay at home until maybe my sister

was in kindergarten or something. Your younger sister. Yeah, my little sister. And then I guess she started back full time when I was like eight or 10 or something like that. Okay. Yeah, my little sister. And then I guess she started back full time when I was like eight or ten or something like that. OK. Yeah. Huh. Would you say that the folks were doing well? Did your dad do good in the insurance game?

He mentioned the shared driveway. I mean, that's just a house, though. Sure. Of course. What were the cars? That's a big indicator. And did you share those? They had a car each. OK, that's pretty good. Two car point two car. So my mom was always rocking a Buick.

So she OK with it. Shout out to a nice Buick American car. Pop up work for GM. So they had the GM discount. So it was always Buick. OK, I think my dad had a minivan at some point, a nice town and country once once we had three kids. When the town and country's all right

That was a good vehicle. Let me slap a big old Santa Cruz sticker on the back of it really Yeah on the back of the van, huh? He was he was good to me when I was skateboarding you know he was that's I respect that he was my camera man Really? Oh yeah, he did my my sponsor me tape your dad films your sponsor me tape Hold on we're getting way ahead of ourselves here. It's crazy back this up. Do they still live in that house? No, they move what was the name of the street that that was on that street was Charles place Charles That sounds pretty nice like a sick something from England or something sounds nice, but the neighborhood was Cleveland Heights She sounds nice, but the neighborhood was Cleland Heights

Cleland that ain't a great sound Do you have the definite? Drop the V what do you have the definition of a single-family home a single-family home is a Freestanding dwelling that is designed to be occupied by one household. Okay has its own land okay like a kitchen in a driveway What a hard way to family that I did not grow up single-family all connected on both sides And another family And I quiz those on the roof

Okay, all right, and how close proximity did you live to your grandparents? grandparents Were a two-minute walk away two-minute walk away, so you're yeah So is that your mom's parents or your dad's parents mom's parents lived right up the street, okay? It says that's a neighborhood. She grew up in yes, okay, and where is your dad was your dad from Delaware as well He was I believe all of my grandparents were born in Delaware Which is kind of remarkable and you're in warming that's great. I don't think that's insane No, I did everybody that I know that's ever lived in Delaware is like move there to get away from something Yeah, no tax break or something been trapped there

Really and you're in the city of Wilmington proper. I'd say a thousand feet from the city line I spent some time on Google Maps. I know exactly how far I was feet from this city line I walked home from school every day never walked to school. Why? Was fucking running late. Okay Yeah, your parents would drive your bus parents are driving To get a bus five minutes would be insane sure. I don't think that was an option So the school you were so you were a proper walker. Yeah. School was in the city. House was just outside of the city limits. Gotcha. Yeah.

Legal, is it? I think that's the whole thing about the city. Catholic school. Okay, that makes sense. People come from everywhere. Who's running for that? Your parents pay for Catholic school for all three years? Yeah, they both went to Catholic school. I gotta say the public school, I don't know the public school system in Wilmington, Delaware. Probably ain't great. Right. I'm assuming. I don't know. I think the district I was in specifically, probably not great. Uh huh. But it's got some good. I mean, public school still seems scary to me.

You're you're you're you draw me in any public school right now. I'd fucking yeah, I'm getting my ass beat as an adult. Sure. I'm going to act like a cop. He's over at Grover Cleveland High School That's pretty good What were the vacations like we did Disney? Okay number of times really yeah Yeah, that's probably why we were stuck in that shared driveway We could have probably moved on up if we cut Disney down to half who was the Disney fam um

As like a parent I have a guess probably okay the fact that they there's a 10-year gap in kids It's like each what you like they at some point like well We got to take John now, and then we have to take Bethany now that she's older and can enjoy it Yeah, but no we were we were going like We forgot one for high school. We definitely all remember going at least five times Yeah, even my little dude. I probably have been to Disney World I went for high school graduation. We definitely all remember going at least five times. Five times? Yeah, even my little... Dude, I probably have been to Disney World 10 or 12 times.

What? Not creative, I guess. We went to the beach, too. Dewey Beach, Rehoboth Beach, those were our low-key... Your low-key weekend getaways or whatever. So almost every summer you went to Disney? No, no. Maybe every every other maybe every third summer How long are you going?

for a week Maybe a week. Is it just you the immediate family? would you take your grandparents or your cousins or anything like that at one point my grandparents had a Condo down there a timeshare maybe okay. Oh, no, I haven't said that out loud yet chair, maybe. Okay. Oh, no. I haven't said that out loud yet. Garbage. So at some point, the grandparents were there, my mom's parents. Mostly it would be us.

We would stay. They would do it nice. We'd stay at the Polynesian. So you'd stay on campus. Yeah. As they call it. On the monorail. Really? All right. That's an expensive trip. It is. You throw in Catholic school in that, plus all the stuff for the dreads. You want that Santa Cruz sticker? That. It is. You throw in Catholic school in that, plus all the stuff for the dreads.

You weren't, that's in a cruise sticker. That's in a cruise sticker. You weren't driving down to Florida, right? You were flying. No, we never did that, we always flew. Okay. What was the first time you were on a plane? Do you remember?

First time I was on a plane was probably to go to Florida. Yeah. Maybe before kindergarten, but I remember doing it in kindergarten. No kidding. Wow, this is, I never said this out loud either. One time my dad took me to Disney World, just me and him.

What? So he could buy a lottery ticket in Florida because the jackpot was so high. That's a guy. That's a guy. What, putting it all, talking about laying it all on the line. I think Plan B was selling you.

That's crazy. That's nuts. Do fly down for a lottery ticket. Yeah, I read that. How come the other kids didn't go? Uh, the my mom was probably pregnant. I was in kindergarten. So you can miss color day or whatever, you know?

Sure. But my older sister was probably in like fifth grade, so she's not going to get taken out of school. This was during school. Yeah. Pretty cool little trip for little John. How long was it? A short one? Or short one or you do I think like two nights Go down by the ticket could have just been one night hit and then we went to Magic Kingdom for one day. Yeah

That's not dude. That's a level of did he wait a level of That's a level of trash that's like let's go. We're leaving it kind of I That's a level of trash that's like let's go we're leaving it kind of I mean we used to do it obviously like front living in outside of Philadelphia We would do it you go to Jersey if there was a big jackpot or whatever Get out of school to take him to Jersey Go we're going to Trenton. How does he even hear about that like on the news? They're probably talking about Yeah, of course cuz like I guess like the mega millions in Powerball were specific states back then.

You know what I mean? Yeah, but I would have to argue you could have. So the mega millions and the Powerball. Why don't you have your grandparents buy him a ticket down there? That fucking condo folded years before that. I just try to get the condo back. It wasn't the time of the timeshare. Right. Wrong time of year, but But those powerball knows mega millions they were like 13 or 11 different states all combined I'm sure he could have gotten a mega millions to get closer there or whatever it was probably gonna like driven to Virginia

Sure, it's in Florida. We could take Little birds one stone. Yeah, how do you pitch that to your mom? I don't know. I'm going to come back with $400 million. That's how you pitch it. And some Mickey ears. And a Charo if you play your cards right. Let me tell you about Pretty Litter. Shout out to the prettiest litter. Let me tell you this. Not as a cat owner, me as a cat owner. I love my little stinky banky. Being inside with the cat

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rocketmoney.com slash garbage, do it. So multiple trips to Disney World. Mm-hmm. All right. Have you gone as an adult? I did, I went with with Mike Rainey and Jake Matera. Right. Rainey's a Disney adult. He was a Disney adult. We were in Florida for a little stinkers trip. Uh-huh. And a fan of ours hooked it

up with free tickets. So, there you go. Got to spend a free day in Epcot and the MGM Studios or whatever it is now sure yeah that's pretty good I did not drink enough in Epcot I really regret we got not doing around the world we blacked out two hours dude yeah I should have it was like 12 beers in 90 minutes they do it right down there really do it right what was the grocery store that your mom went to growing up? We had shop, right acme and also zingos Zingo. Yeah, I think that a single like a day. Well there was one zingos there was there was two The one we went to was not in the nicer area

zingos zingos supermarket and convenience stores is still kicking on Maryland Avenue uh Now this one's on this is on poly drumming in poly drumming shopping center that's the nice one whoa that's probably three stars sounds like a killer clouds name don't close your eyes Zingo's gonna get it Wow huh they got private brands what is that mean? I don't know Is this their website? They have a website? Yeah, they still got a red box? What's a private brand?

Damn, they sell a red box. Is it outsiders? Fruity Loops! Dude, the mac and cheese is called shells and cheese? Whoa Yikes Hey, that's a essential brand. That's not just Zingos. They're all dead. Mingos, Pingos.

Essential every day. Alright. Who babysat you as a kid? Your older sister? Grandparents. Your grandparents would? Well, my mom was working and I was still in grade school. We would go to my grandparents after school. I guess she was working Tuesdays. Tuesdays we would go to Mom and Pop Ups. That's probably not a bad gig. Go there Yeah, I put something out for you. Let's all stack

Tostino's they got hot pockets. They got tombstones ice cream sandwiches caffeine free Pepsi get lost Was that the was that the Gold can yes. Yes man, those hit different. It was all right. You could tell there was no caffeine in there. Yeah, something was different, but. Guilt-free.

Let me ask you a question. Grandparents in the 90s loved that shit. Why? If my grandfather was coming over, you had to have a 12-pack of that for him. They were still drinking coffee. Like, what's the point of having the caffeine? Caffeine-free Pepsi, diet caffeine-free Pepsi soda Pepsi soda whatever diet root beer was

huge with them and I remember diet chocolate soda being a big thing with I don't think I've ever seen chocolate so no that's not real strange strange taste maybe you were dreaming uh-huh what was the high school mascot? Viking. Pretty good. Any sports to speak of? Yeah, played football and wrestling. Okay. And baseball. Baseball my whole life. Football started in fourth grade. Pretty good.

Fourth grade B team QB right here. Okay. First day of practice. Didn't even know it was the day that practice was starting. We were coming home from the beach and I saw everybody at the football field at the park by my house I was like, I think I'm supposed to be a football practice Ran over there with my chain wallet and cargo shorts big skateboarder already at the time because back then I don't know if it does now Skateboarders in sports did not mix No, it was like one guy in each school who walked in both world all my friends skateboarded

But they also all played really all the sports yeah And and the first day practice the guy one of the coaches was like who's left-handed and I was like me And he was like you're the quarterback so I have no idea what logic that is it's not baseball It's not like I'm throwing a right-handers. You know I don't think I threw a single fucking pass that season Who's a southpaw a lot of QB sneaks? Found my way into the zone Did you do this in high school? Were you playing sports in high school? a single fucking pass that season. Who's the southpaw? A lot of QB sneaks. A lot of touch points. I found my way into the zone. And did you do this in high school?

Were you playing sports in high school? I think I quit a sport every year in high school. OK. Football freshman year, quit after that. Got you. Played basketball freshman, sophomore. Don't think I scored a single point. Quit after that.

And then I played baseball till senior year. And then I quit midseason after the coach put in a five footer over me at first base and I was like, he might be making contact with the ball, but DH for him. Come on, let me play the field. He might be making contact with the... Listen, you can't take that away from guys hitting 333. Are we skateboarding this whole time? Skateboarding from third or fourth grade till seventh or eighth grade whenever we'd started. Yeah. And then you were done with the skateboarding?

I picked it back up in high school and college a little bit but was not skateboarding. What was your dad filming your promo tapes? I was probably like 10. You were trying to get a sponsor, you were doing a sponsor tape at 10 years old? Some company was doing like an open call. Sure, like a local skate shop? No, I was, I think it was like somebody that you see in a CCS magazine and did you have some skills could you do tricks? Yeah? I mean, I was like I think my big thing was I dropped down a pretty big ledge just Ollied off of it. You know anything I ollied yeah a little bit of a kick flip up a curb heel flip down a curb

Like a serious holly to five set For what you're ten years old. Yeah, that's for a ten-year-old That's good. That's yeah, not bad Got some free stickers out of the out of the deal. Yeah, so not a total L Your dad probably bought them and sent them to you How was mom in the kitchen Pretty good pretty good. She still makes some staples to this day that kitchen.

Pretty good. Pretty good. She still makes some staples to this day that a goulash which is not your typical Hungarian lava goulash or this is just ground meat, some kind of red sauce and mozzarella cheese on top. Whoa, that in the oven, let the cheese get a little brown melted. And I can't I don't know if that's a goulash. Were you putting it over egg noodles? No, elbow macaroni. Was that in the pan with it? elbow macaroni first then the ground beef then the sauce and then that's not a casserole

Yeah, yeah fucking that If you're if you're in fucking Delaware and you ain't never seen nothing like that and someone says that's goulash you run with it and someone says that's goulash, you run with it. I might as well be fried rice down there. Yeah. All right. Then we had, you know, your classic hot dog casseroles, shit that has not seen the light of day since we moved out of that house.

And would you eat together as a family every night? Yeah, maybe not every night, but it was a big can't go out till after dinner or be home for dinner. Nobody answers the phone during dinner. Would it be ringing? I mean if it was like a telemarketer you just say, we're eating. All those skateboarding companies are going. Or somebody's calling for me, we're eating, he'll call you back later.

Oh really? John Brandon called. Yeah. Yeah, he can come out after dinner. Religious family at all? Had to go to church every week, but I would not say Religious yeah, yeah, which is probably the reason I am not religious I wake up every single fucking Sunday that was the bane of my exit trying to hit this rail down would there be a

Would there be a system like when we would do that when I was a kid it would be get up go to church come home Dad would make a nice breakfast It would be get up go to church come home dad would make a nice breakfast At some point we were doing church and then we were hitting either the Sheraton or the Marriott for brunch Nice hotel for brunch. We would do a nice brunch buffet at a what? Yeah, that was a maybe special We're staying in room 902. I've never heard of that That's crazy. We weren't stealing continental breakfast. We had to pay it was 15 bucks ahead at least going to the Sheraton with your family I think it was a Sheraton whoa that is I mean everybody

was dressed up it was like it was They all just had a wedding the night before dude. Holy shit. Wow, that's a first. I gotta give it to you, it kinda makes sense a little bit. You're like, hey, they throw out a good breakfast. They're good at doing breakfast. I just never heard anybody just go into like... A hotel.

I mean like a... Like a fancy hotel that has a nice restaurant in it. That's not a fancy hotel. I'm saying, I get that that like we're going to the the fucking whatever to go you know And not that you're not hitting a Hilton for the for the generic breakfast. I feel they had a fucking nice bread, man You probably do I love a kind of how you like it you like a nice continental breakfast. Oh, yeah Yeah, sometimes. I'll even set my alarm for it. Oh Yeah, like if you're on the hotel. Oh, yeah. Man, it's the best. Yeah. Sometimes I'll even set my alarm for it. Oh, yeah. Like if you're on the road out. Yeah. Oh, I don't miss it.

Really? You'll and then you'll go back to bed. We have when we're on the road, we have a system. We have a group chat for everybody who's on the road together. It's about you. About five of us. Then we meet that won't get text me fully wake up at the same time every day. Give or take an hour. Nervous kids. We are in the same bed and we give or take an hour nervous kids we are in the same bed and we'll fire a private text to each other I'm gonna hit brekkie

huh see you down there in 10 or whatever I mean him have breakfast catch a heater go down shut it back down slide back into the sheets for a little while I usually can't put my face on in time to make last call for continental breakfast I don't miss I'm getting if I'm in Columbus Columbus. I got nothing better else to do it and hit that fucking breakfast I'm getting late check out. I'm sure I can sleep till 1130 and still make it out of that by do have very still like teenager

Energy in the sense of like you're like I could I could just rock till noon. Yeah. Yeah I mean I think it's because I went to church every Sunday I still wake up at 1 p.m.. Uh-huh. Yeah, I love it. I'm catching up Johnny D. Baby could you eat in your room as a kid? Were you allowed to eat up there? I? Don't know if I ever even tried like It wasn't I didn't have a TV in there so if I'm No, she just eating in your room. Yeah, what the fuck am I gonna do crazy? Look at my incubus poster fucking hot pocket TV where was the gaming system?

Living room was whatever was the newest thing and then the basement had the the Sega Yeah, would they keep up with the with the times with that? We had Nintendo and then Sega and then PlayStation original was the last one that the family bought was that a big Christmas present yeah yeah it was like was that yours or the everybody's families it was separated from the rest of the piles like oh Santa brought something for everybody dad was a big crash bandicoot fan Spyro okay what was the first concert? I think it's gonna start getting sticky First concert might have been I got brought to new kids on the block all right Older say your older sister was going that's pretty great one first by myself with like my friends

Maybe it was either willy oasis or bush whoa really yeah get the fuck yeah wrong I apologize for everything I said up and down now you saw Oasis uh-huh what year would this have been I would say 96 or 97 get the fuck out of here might have been 12 years old in their pride yeah amazing where they play in the Delaware'd you go to Philly up to Philly? Up to Philly? I think it was in a starboard down there in Rehoboth. I think it was the the tweeter center, but it was closed. Like the outside was closed. Right. Just the inside, which is probably only like five or 10,000.

I don't think it's probably not even that big. Yeah. Seems small for Oasis back then. That must have been fucking rip. Yeah, it was sick. Wow. That's pretty good. That's really good, actually. Thank you. Hmm. Everybody, it was sick Wow that's pretty good. Mm-hmm. That's really good actually you Turn it around like that ice cube chance in hell you got right here. What was the first job? first job was Think I was a

Parcel delivery guy like a like a runner like a courier who says that in Wilmington said five different words you could have just said a bicycle messenger okay what I don't know if that was my first job though you know that or golf for that first like I think bike messenger in high school was my first and then you hit a golf course and then yeah what were you doing there were you bike mess how well where were you bike mess? How long were you bike messaging? Like in Wilmington, downtown Wilmington, all the legal documents that go around.

Every corporation's basically file this in Chancellery Court. Go pick this up at two, two, two Delaware. I bring it down to the courthouse. Ten Speed. I was mostly on foot. He's big, better than due to the fact that they wouldn't let me ride with the training Um I was mostly on foot Due to the fact that they wouldn't let me ride with training wheels But I think they were ten speeds yeah, okay, they just had a bunch of bikes in the window of this place So if you were going way uptown

Ten blocks you go grab a bike on your way out the door You went back to home base and then between every delivery. Yeah Bike for something like that. No, I think Independent couriers will have their own thing and just be a it worked for big He was a big carrier a big carrier industry man the the messenger wars of downtown Wilmington You wouldn't believe what was going on in the mid 2000s I mean serious. Oh, yeah, like people getting fired from companies, starting their own companies. At some point there was like four different courier companies.

You don't need that many in a town that small. And you were caught up in the middle of it. Like Henry Hill. Catching strays. There I am, delivering packages on foot. Okay. What was your first car? My first car was a hand-me-down for my grandparents. It was a grand damn

Sweet nice color. What old color that gold color? Yeah, roll windows still Good condition when you got it. Oh, Graham. What are we talking like mid 90s? Probably? Maybe like a 99 2001 possibly okay, that's not bad. I didn't get my hands on it until 2001 possibly okay, that's not bad. I didn't get my hands on it until Until college It's a college. Yeah, I thought you got it then no I didn't I wasn't wheels until college or that body style the older than new Or none of those

Was it a good shape when you got it yeah, okay Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's all that man They were gonna do so do you remember when you got it? No, no, probably less than 50,000 Really is that now is that a hand me down straight or was there some money exchange? I think it was as far as I know My mom could have given my grandparents a couple bucks for it and then just giving it to me But I think she was just tired of picking me up and fucking school for Sunday dinner, you know And now you said nobody parked in the shared driveway so you're parking on the street yeah was there tickets was there alternate side parking yeah no just regular suburb I mean that aspect of this neighborhood

was suburban you know what I mean all right what uh I assume there had to be some sort of hacky sack phase. What makes you say that? Let's get into that. Let's get into the many personalities. Yeah, they did. Yes. Sure. I mean, we're on the boardwalk. We're getting our devil sticks or hacky sack on. A devil stick. Come on. That's why that's always one of my best friends. What age is that?

That's probably a skateboarding era. So fourth, fifth, whatever grade, nine, ten, great nine ten. Okay, I could do it all. So skateboard and do devil's sticks still doing the chain wallet. That was pretty short lived. I think that was probably only a trip it over himself to your face maybe but there's a good chance I was doing devil's sticks on the rojo with boardwalk with the chain wallet. Sure. Okay. Yeah. overalls? I don't think so. Never overalls.

What were the pants? Were you wearing like the big puffy pants? I didn't wear the Jankos. No. Not Jankos. There was another. UFOs or something was a big, was a big, like there were big cargos.

They were like real baggy cargos. They were like break dancer. There was a store called Mr. Rags we used to go to. Man, it was like a break dancer clothing store there was a store called Mr. Rags we used to go to. Man, it was like a break dancer clothing store. We were losers. Mr. Red. Any sneakers with no

laces in them? Uh like you mean I took them out and yeah. I don't think so. Was there like a thug phase? Yes. Where you were like you were trying to be a gangster? Yeah, yeah. What the hell? Oh dude man Johnny blaze who wear Kelly hell PNB

Bro my about a blast dude. There's a specific You're a little older for this there's a specific kind of dirt bag that will wear a Johnny blaze hoodie that kid I mean the fact your parents were together is crazy. Yeah Yeah, I don't look back on it fondly, but that's probably what started. Are you selling any bags? Any woo wear? Woo wear. Yeah. Are you moving any weight? Not till high school. Okay. And by that point, I was probably shopping at Abercrombie. Let's talk to she. Let's talk clean bee holes. Yeah, like a nice clean butthole. Something you can eat off of.

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Roy Wood Jr. here and I want to tell you about my new stand-up comedy special. It's Hoolerious and it's streaming now on Hulu. I did this special because the world has lost connection. We don't interact like we used to. You won't talk with your mom on the phone for 10 minutes, but you'll listen to a stranger talk on a podcast for an hour. You can listen to the podcast and call your mom back too. We all just need a little perspective. So don't miss my new stand-up special Roy Wood, Jr. Lonely flowers now streaming on Hulu I mean what listen got the money when I first met Del Kahlo. This is what probably 2010 ish around then What year did you move to California? You've had it. You're right. You've had so many lives 2011 all right, so I probably made you 2010 ish around that 2011 2010

Fucking was the cool one of the coolest dudes in the room wait. When did you move to California? He had one that I? Think the competition you put on yeah after after I won 250 bucks on that open my competition you guys shit me out to LA For free I did nobody took that took that industry heat and parlayed it into Really thank you because it was really a contest that we were running there's if you want the helium contest No, it was like your arch madness Open my yeah bringer competition. Whoa. Yeah, and I brought the most. And we pretended like we were announcers on the side, right? Uh-huh.

Man, you used this thing. Not Delcalo Foley for the audio listener. Great, so you won 250 bucks for that and you moved to LA. That was it. I was going to LA either way. With or without the 250. That was the icing on the cake. Yeah, oh, I thought I could make it after that.

Wait, but when I... that version of John DelCarlo With leather jacket Harley-david you had a motorcycle that thing don't fit anymore neither does the motorcycle you were super thin Good-looking good head ahead like he was like I was like this guy is fucking this guy's a movie star So funny say that this is the year I turn it all around So be prepared for me to get back to that look and how long were you in LA for that? Was that the last time we saw you or did you come back? I came back and did I'm not there anymore I was there for like a year and a half maybe and then came back 2013 2012 something like that. Okay. Yeah, and then as you guys probably we yeah, we saw it in New York. Yeah

Something like that okay, yeah, and then as you guys probably we yeah, we saw it in New York. Yeah But like that was 50 see you around my dick nerds ran out of gas money by Texas Made it to Pittsburgh okay, oh man all right, so What the so that was high school was the Johnny blaze phase Seventh and eighth grade big-time. Okay, Doug phase that Abercrombie in high school. You said when you started moving units Yeah before the units I Started shopping at Abercrombie still buying things three times too big. Uh-huh for me, you know I was a filter my way into it. Yeah, I know all those pants fit again You still have those clothes no

Everything's coming up Johnny. I don't know I don't throw much out. It's probably my mom's basement But yeah thug phase was what kind of weight will we move in 20 bags? Yeah, so yeah 20s smoke. Yeah some shit grams in in college. Nobody was buying fucking ace Nobody had $60 where you go to college University of Delaware you of the Fighting blue cock whoa brother watch your mouth blue hens There's a lady all right But I wasn't that way you and your buddies didn't your dorm room is

Fighting red stingers Blue hands and red guys you live on campus. Mm-hmm. How far is that from your house? 20 minute drive I did the same thing. Yeah, yeah run home Sunday for dinner if you wanted to do a little laundry. Yeah Yeah, and I think that was a big part of my mom giving me the car at some point because they had to come pick me up. Get back. Yes, I just fuck. Yeah, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this three days a week. Yeah. And then 10

PM on a Sunday, they have to fucking drive to Newark, Delaware. Not far. But what was the pet situation growing up? No, no pets outside of a fish bowl or a hermit crab cage, you know Was there a lot of those or just like you will every couple of years you should the carnival Got the hermit crab at the beach one year and then I think fish tank with the with the filter or just a bowl Just a bowl. So a couple of days Maybe a month the most yeah. Yeah fun to feed those little guys for that period Though, you know, I borrowed time you ain't got a filter

Cloudy is water I did have turtles in college. So In the dorm or an apartment apartment that apartment had this thing how many turtles did That apartment had to stink. How many turtles? You know it did. My sister found one in the park and I was like, whoa, a turtle. I'm fucking 20 years old. And I'm like, wow, a turtle. I didn't know these were real.

And so I've got a terrarium and put it in my apartment. And then, you know, I've got the filter going and all that shit. And then, God, those things stink. Let my friend watch it when I went to LA and he let it die. So, still so my shit list what was that apartment like how many how many bedrooms how many people that specific apartment was fucking sick it was on top of like a Asian grocery store okay and it was four bedrooms and my room it was like total bachelor pad

my room went out to the down one lady went in there no to a grocery store turtles Sounds like a real swinging spot place had to think oh, yeah that turtle had plenty of mice for friends But I had a deck outside of my that's pretty good do 20 year old what a deck in a turtle Yeah, tell me nothing. Mm-hmm kept a great day still was wearing a medium shirt. Jesus Christ Are you selling some 20 bags in college at the time? Yeah. Making ends meet. People coming over, hanging out? Yeah, I mean...

Where would you go to them? If you got the bros and you got five or three friends that are trying to smoke a blunt, bring over a gram, they both give me, they all give me five bucks, I throw the other five myself, get high for an hour, and then do it all over again, baby You guys know the drill that was a cover at your apartment Wow Johnny you are a different level of trash. I'm gonna turn it around I know it

Unless you want a Nobel Peace Prize Unless you want a Nobel Peace Prize La is now I mean What kind of mayonnaise growing up was it Hellman's was it Miracle Whip? I don't really fuck with white condiments Okay, but I think we had Hellman's what else falls in besides mayo ranch sour cream. Oh, I stand corrected cottage cheese Any of the guy who's never had a bowl of cereal? Yes Well at this point I have this point you had I remember he had never had a bowl of cereal up until a couple years ago your picky guy to right hey don't drag me in this fucking weirdo wait what I

Yes, I said I ran a little show for a couple times called new foods with JDC where I would have a guest bring me A food that I had never tried. One of them was cereal with milk. Also, it was first time. No, you didn't have as a kid. You didn't have cereal. I didn't try milk till college. It wasn't for me. What? Yeah, I think my first memory is my mom trying to shove a cheerio into my mouth. I mean, just being like, no, no, no. So as soon as I could make conscious decisions about food food it was like they submitted pretty quickly and we're just like so we're getting McDonald's what'd you eat for breakfast when you were a

kid pop tarts toaster strudels sometimes my mom would make some eggs or pancakes kids live in the fuck you got to kind of breakfast right no I like the hotel okay really so would you dry cereal at any point or no? Uh-uh, I think I tried cookie crisp dry and I was like this ain't a fucking cookie brother What the fuck is this go get a real cookie? Yeah, how we doing? Wow, that's crazy Mm-hmm never had a bowl of cereal a banana somebody brought to try the first Really respect and now we're talking I'll never do it again So you're not missing much. Thank you. I'm gonna next time they try to get me

I'll say don't call it did it for me. He didn't like it. No way put in a smoothie Cut to me and you with devil's Potassium anyway can't land a Kevin you are 10% weirder now now. I know what the barometer of the banana is This guy's never had cereal That's, whoa. So then what led to the milk in college? I think some friends were over for dinner with my family and they were like, you seriously have never tried milk

as an adult that you can remember? Or like, as a child, yeah. And I think I had a sip of it in front of my friend. Ah, it's all over the table. It's not bad. It's kind of just like a watery vanilla milkshake. You know what I mean? But I don't go back to the tap for it, you know.

So you're not a milk guy. No, I know you guys are big on milk for dinner. That was my dad's move. OK. Yeah, at least there's one normal person. He took you to Disney World for 48 hours Yeah, the milk was flowing that weekend. Oh Okay, um Wow, okay I'm a picky eater, but what was the first bowl of cereal? Oh good great question

We did a little trio of three One was honey nut Cheerios. I think the other was regular Cheerios Honey nut blows regular out of the fucking water. It's not even yes Honey, not Cheers might as well be candy compared to the other shit and then And then something like one of the cinnamon cinnamon toast crunch okay that was took a couple of bites of yes so they stood around and watched you do this audience like a science experiment who paid five bucks to see it man what a country you live in you step right up step right in are you flossing every day? I do not floss no never a

Couple times a decade maybe Go to the dentist regularly No, heavens now. Did you have braces as a kid? I did yeah you have dental insurance now I just re-upped my Obamacare, and I added dental there you go. Yes, I think this year's my year I Only go to the dentist in recent years when I can feel one of my wisdom teeth coming in and then I go in and I'm like, what is it? And they're like, it's your wisdom teeth. Same thing as last time. And then they give me a slip for an oral surgeon and then the pain stops and now they've all grown in completely. Yeah. Mine are in pretty heavy. Yeah. Never got them taken out. No. We gotta use those pills,

right? I used to always say that, hey man, when you get it done, don't take a lot of pills It don't hurt that bad Okay, everyone a lava lamp had I think during the turtle apartment I had a lava lamp in there Yeah, any turtles needed something to look at? I'm held on day anybody any black light posters or anything at any point? I don't think so. My sister had them in her room. Sure.

Growing up, yeah. Did you ever blow weed in the turtle's face? I must've, yeah. You must try to teach him karate. Come on, come on, Leo, you got this. Was that his name? Yeah. I do believe it was a girl though. No one would assume. Come on, Leo, you got this. Was that his name? Yeah. Sure.

I do believe it was a girl, though. I don't want to assume. If you're driving, what kind of car do you have now? No car. No car. My girlfriend's car. Your girlfriend's car. You live in the city.

Yeah. You live in the city, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. If you're driving that, just you, will you drive with headphones in? No. Okay. No. I have, with AirPods, a couple times, but I don't make that a habit. What's she whipping around in? No. Okay. No, I have. Sure. With AirPods a couple times, but I don't make that a habit. What she whipping around

in that is a Hyundai Santa Fe SUV. Okay. Yeah. Respectable city car. Do you like rotisserie chicken? Love it. Okay. Just had one at Costco last week. Okay. At Costco? in the parking lot, baby. Why ate the bones and all You're not supposed to eat the bones ever you and three other pigeons Any axe body spray at any point oh Yeah, dude, I did the thing that they do in the commercial around the body Yeah, I honestly don't know Like there's part of me. There's like I wasn't getting laid because I was handsome

I was getting laid because they smelled the ax. Yeah, that's how good that marketing was sure I was I do that that would start I'd start chubbing up on those videos the broads ripping the guys clothes off Yeah, it wasn't a crazy how that went from like such a pleasant smell of like, wow, this smells really good till just at a certain point in maturity. You're like this stinks. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like so fat. It's so fake. You're so baby powdery. It's like, ew. Yeah, I don't know how that happened. It's got to be psychological because it was the same smell when it first came out. But then after like a couple of years, everybody using it

and the weed and this, you're just like, God, this fucking stinks. Are you a cologne guy now? I am not. But, you know, if I pick up a GQ every once in a while, I'll rub my wrist on the inside, you know. Are there any milk crates in your apartment at the moment there certainly are yeah, and they're filled with GQ's Really? Yeah, okay. Why is GQ your thing? I had every every every episode every issue for about 20 years Why your 2020 to the year 20 to your 2000 to the year 2020? Why?

Subscription just like GQ. Yeah, I like reading the articles. I like getting style inspiration How do you think I dress like a fucking teenager from the future now? He is a stylist you always you were ahead of he used to show up to an open mic I'd be like who the fuck I would take pictures and make fun of him He said he just got shut up with a fanny pack 11 12 years ago to an open yeah 13 years You might be the first guy ever saw were like a Marc Jacobs leather jacket Remember that one leather jacket that you had? Yeah, was it it didn't have the collar. I have a white

It was like a motorcycle. Yeah. Yeah, there's a fucking he was a cool guy. You guys remember me wearing that I don't even I wanted to be a John Was all GQ Get myself a G. Yeah, look get a subscription here. So you have a collection of 20 year GQ magazines in your apartment. It's the bane of my girlfriend's existence. Yeah. And why don't throw those out? Those are good. You don't want to throw them out? I think it's a cool time capsule to hold on to, you know.

I don't have any fucking records or anything. CDs are all in the fucking Goodwill. You have children So use them for fire You're gonna be leafing through those with her one day like I'm pretty cool Yeah, and that's what inspired me to wear a scarf that summer This is an mp3 player If you and the lady go out to a nice dinner now, okay

Talking while I'm talking every third birthday for her. Sure Do you have a spot that you like? Is there any casual dining spots that maybe you went as a kid your parents take care that you have an affection for now? I think you know well that I'm a chain restaurant guru I would not push back on that fact. And like live in a city with plenty of nice restaurants, places. I will be like, hey, do you want to go to Chili's and Cherry Hill? And that's like a nice one.

Yeah. As a parking lot to park. And that's big. Yeah. I if I get the inkling, we usually end up going to a chain restaurant. Really? And Chili's would be the top. Chili's. I mean, I'll go to the inkling, we usually end up going to a chain restaurant. Really? Chilies would be the top chilies. I mean, I'll go to these places by myself, too. I'll sit at the bar, chilies and order fucking nachos and have a beer. Yeah. Yeah. I went to Olive Garden by myself a couple of weeks ago. I'm not fucking around.

I walked in there and when the server came to my table, I was like, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going to take the tour of Italy. But here's here's what I'm here for. I'm going to take the tour of Italy. But here's here's what I'm here for. I'm going to eat 12 breadsticks and four bowls of soup before I even touch that entree. And she was bringing me soups two at a time. Did she did you do it played ball? Did you knock it out of the park?

Had some breadsticks to bring home. But I did polish off four bowls of soup and I tipped the lady 45%. All right, that's pretty good. What kind of soup? soup of discana. It's pretty good. What kind of soup soup of Descana? There's kale in there He likes to float when out of that place Guess what I had a full meal when I got home the next day. Yeah, okay? Was this lunch

The way home from church this was dinner if I get in a little you know me and the lady aren't talking for a couple Hours, and I'm gonna I'm gonna head out. I'm gonna get some food I'm gonna go to Trader Joe's, but I'm really just going to Olive Garden by myself. You'll do that Hey, I got a head some you'll go blow up some steam at the garden. Yeah, okay, what um? What is the last place you order takeout from? Just picking up Burger King last night account I just that's what if that's your answer then yes, I ordered on the app it counts right well You got the Burger King app brother. I got 30 food apps in my and you roll

So that's gonna throw you want to roll through them, okay? Yes Let's go to food. Uh-huh. You know it's food cuz it's labeled food. Okay front row. We got all your big dogs you got your There's nine there's dominant way go back. Let's see you got dominoes. Wawa Honey-Gro, I don't know what that is I think it's great door dash who breeds Grubhub You got everyone possible go mom They got sliced little Caesar's Pizza Hut Chipotle I saved three bucks on a pie with that app all right shake shack sheets, dude

You don't live within a hundred miles of a sheet, but when I'm there I'm ordering ahead of time. He's got two chilies you got the any hits pretzels For one purchase at an outlet, okay? I got like a free smoothie or something you got a wing stop Here's the two disly's is it Duncan Taco Bell McDonald's Wendy's Burger King Jack in the box I don't live anywhere Love it Jack in the box. It's fully Arby's KFC Don't live anywhere near Jack in the Box. I love it. Jack in the Box. Chick-fil-A, Arby's, KFC.

What about we got some more? What's that? Some grocery store stuff. Wegmans, Lidl, Acme, Mr. Saul, you got the Mr. Salty app, Papa John's and Applebee's. That way you're not going to chase the truck down the street. That's where the truck comes to me.

Wait, does it? I forget. What do you do with the Mr. Salty app? Drop a pin. I thought I could locate a truck with the app I don't think it works like that ended up having to go to the brick and mortar location in Brick and mortar mr. Softie year-round, baby In pen salking or something shout out depends. Do you live in Jersey?

No, I frequent I go there three times a week though just to park in a parking lot. Oh my god. It's nice over there You got the mall you got Costco Wegman's Trader Joe's Wow, okay, I mean what the fuck am I doing good? God that's a lot of, I mean, you are a connoisseur of these type things. We talk about them a lot on the show. Let's say you're at your local mall, maybe not to, to the Cherry Hill Mall, whatever,

you're at your local mall. You're in your local mall food court. It's about 5 p.m. You're hungry. You're not the wife's work or whatever. You're just going like I'm just you tonight. You're at the mall by yourself for whatever reason. What are you? Where? What are you hitting in the mall food court? First thing I'm doing, bury me with an Annie Anne's

original with salt and a Jamba Juice strawberries wild in the other. That's just to get things going going that's just to find the food court Get there, and I've located the store on my app I've located the any and then if it's din din time. Yeah, no if it's soupy I'm going probably like like a chicken teriyaki place Really with the fried rice and the iris they make it. There's always has the longest line.

Sure. Are you straight up chicken? Just give me the chicken teriyaki chicken rice. Are you a free sample man? Would you take a little toothpick? I'll do a lap. Whoever's got the toothpicks out. I'm usually not buying there. If that's the case. Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free, buddy? I'm not really in the market right now free toothpick though get my tour of Italy out you pull up I haven't I got something stuck in my tea

have a toothpick chicken on it all right okay that's respectable the double is wild. The Jamba juice and then the pretzel. You need something to wash that salty pretzel down. You won't have the lemonade at Annie Anne's or anything like that? Every once in a while. Have you ever had their breakfast? Annie Anne's breakfast. At the airport. At the airport.

Yeah, I have had it at the airport. I've seen a sign and I went who the? I don't know about that. Sausage, egg and cheese on a on a pretzel roll It's pretty salty. It's pretty great too much sulfur breakfast sandwich, but I get it down. I Like the cinnamon ones a little Swiss the cinnamon nuggets your dessert boy Okay any vacations Now to speak of have you and your girl ever gone away? Yeah, yeah.

I drag her to the Sierra Nevada mountains every single year for the most part. Right, you're an outdoorsy guy. Yeah, I like to go to Yosemite or Tahoe. Started with her in a tent for the first couple years. Okay. Now, she hasn't slept in a tent in a number of years, so we're on the hotel tip in the mountains now.

But if she had it her way, we would go to. What do you eat out there? Miami or something, you know, some beach. She don't got it her way. Yeah, no she doesn't. What do you eat out there? When you camp out? If I'm camping?

Yeah, you'll do the like hot dogs or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm just doing two nights, I'll just grab a pack of hot dogs and some chips or something like that. You would do that if you were saying your apartment. Got some any hands in here. Tracking down a Mr. Softie through the Sierra Nevada mountains.

I think I hear him. Gonna get stuck going over Donner Pass. There's no way that truck can make that turn. Dead man's elbow or whatever. He's stuck in the mud, get him! We're all eating waffle cones today, baby. What are you cooking at the house, if any, or what are you eating at the house? It's not take out per se, like what's that looking like? If I'm cooking, I made filet mignon the other night. Whoa, what?

Filet Mignon with some That's what the Burger King beef patties Some heirloom carrots and scalloped potatoes Whoa carrots were from Trader Joe's scalloped potatoes were just a microwavable Plastic dish from Trader Joe's? Yeah. They're pretty good. Not bad. All their stuff like that's top shelf. Heat up some ciabatta rolls, some par baked ciabatta rolls.

But that's about, I don't, I order food most of the time. Are you guys eating together a lot? A couple days a week. Yeah. He answers, oh you were a jerk off. Why are you going to make me say this? I mean. Okay answers, oh, you were a jerk off. Why you gonna make me say this? I mean, okay. Different schedules? Yeah. Oh,

yeah. We are. We are two ships passing in the night. Different world. We are two ships passing in the afternoon. And you're eating on the couch in front of the TV, I would assume? Or you sit at the table? If the baby's eating in the high chair, if

Maggie cooked something for the baby to eat, we'll all eat around the kitchen counter. Now, who'd you... The filets, they weren't just for you, right? They were for you and her. Yeah. Yeah. Two-pack. I wish I sold them in ones.

You gotta make her one, then. Twenty bucks for two little fucking nice medallions. Dick boys, too. Ended up coming out rare. He's such a strange combination. It's crazy. I can't believe you know what an heirloom carrot is. Which I think a strange combination. It's crazy. I can't You know what an heirloom carrot is, which I think you're thinking heirloom tomato

Are there air? I don't know if they're called heirloom. I don't think they are many colors You know the purple one is yellow confirmed that firm there. Wow, that's a nice pull the purple ones Yeah, I like the purple one. You're nuts. You won't drink milk. Will you a purple carrot that is upside down in my brain? That's nuts dude. You won't eat a purple carrot. I will but you don't try to keep my head I would draw the line that's got enough ketchup on it I'll fuck with carrots. I'll eat anything in a soup if you put it in a soup. Oh, yeah, soupy guy I'll give you more of it's fried. I had a boot if you're fried

number one soup. Oh, you're a soupy guy. Four of it's fried. I'd a boot if you're fried. Number one. Have to gun to your head fast food chain. Only one for the rest of your life. It's gonna be Taco Bell. Okay, Taco Bell has been treating me pretty nicely. Out of the air mingo cluster of fast food places. They really take their time and they put some care into the into the package you're getting I mean Can you whistle

Yes, but not well, can you whistle with your fingers? No, are you double-jointed? What does this mean? Whoa, he's popping and locking. That's all I got That's now you I feel I can feel the click is there an urgent care near here And or an olive garden a bowl of soup I'll get my head on straight ever been bitten by a dog Not to break skin I'm gonna be nipped by a dog that's too... Sure. Yeah. Uh, have you...

Such a terrible thing to say. He broke the skin! I would classify that as a bite. Now I gotta get a tetanus shot. Uh... What was the last time you were at a Renaissance fair? Never. Whoa! Wouldn't you guess that?

Really? Uh, hmm. Have you had poison ivy in the last 365 days? I don't believe so. Okay. Have you ever cut the sleeves off a hoodie? Not a hoodie, no. Okay, when was the last time you ordered a shot of Fireball?

Oh man, uh, over five years. Okay! probably longer. That shit is not for me. I don't drink liquor at all. So, OK, you keep beers in the house? Rarely, if like I brought them home from like leftover party or something like that. How does that happen?

If we're all drinking on my boys porch and I'm like, I might want these six when I get home. I'll take them home. Only have one when I get home. And then I got five in the fridge I don't take the beers back from a party. We're living a dirtbag lifestyle over my buddy's porch alright He's poor. I don't think it's connected to a house. He needs 40 millilites. He drinks too much as it is Has there ever been a time where you went over and hung out at that porch and didn't go into the house?

No, you run into pay or something like that a Certain backyard porch yet that I have gone over and not entered the house? No. You run into pay or something like that? A certain backyard porch. Yeah, I have gone over and not entered the house. Yeah. That's trespassing. I don't typically keep beer in the fridge. No. Okay. You open your eyes underwater? I think I do. Yeah.

Any of the baby snacks that you particularly enjoy? Uh, not yet. No. Have you given the baby soup yet? I don't think so. No, today's the day. You have a passport? Expired. What? Yeah, you have an expired passport? And too, too over expired to redo redo I have to go through the whole process

Oh my god, think losing your license. Yeah whoa, I Don't ever met anybody with an expired passport seriously his spies When when did it expire I got it when I was When when did it expire? I got it when I was probably 20. So it expired about 10 years ago. Where'd you go? I went to London with the first trip,

and then I have been to Costa Rica and Canada as well with it. OK, yeah. Costa Rica. What are you doing down there? Studying abroad. Really? And doing some schoolwork. I mean, I don't know. What? Yeah, this guy's Delaware trash. Man, climbing the charts quickly. That's crazy. Coming in out of nowhere with a heater. It was the shared driveway. I knew it. That's the least of your worries at when we got to the the repetition of at one point. Oh Yeah, you were in a lot of trouble my dad owned this at one point my grandfather on that at one point gang in here You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast little stinkers

Mr.. John Delcalo Grade a trash duty-free Delaware Tax-free trash, baby. I had a feeling bike messenger on foot. What do you got coming up? What do you want the folks are turning out? Hit him. Oh man. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Johnny Delco J O N N Y D E L C O. I'll be in Cincinnati in April 4th and 5th at the Comet in Cincinnati. Where'd he go?

And me and the other little stinkers, Mike Rainey and Jake Matera, will be at the Independent Comedy Theater in Detroit. Yes, here, it's a great venue. On May 19th, I believe. Could be the 16th. Okay. It's Friday, I believe, the 16th of May.

Gotcha. So come check us out. Love it. Buddy, we love you. That was a fucking home of May gotcha. I'll check us out. Love it buddy. We love you That was a fucking home run. Can we would you have for guys? We announced new tour dates all tickets available to our you garbage comm or it's a run through the Midwest Atlantic City Get your tickets while supplies Lee Johnny. We love you, but yeah, thanks so much. I love you guys coming in Joe gang We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace