Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Kate Mannion: Barstool Trash

Episode Date: August 3, 2020

Podcaster and Barstool Sports blogger Kate Mannion (@KateBarstool) joins Kippy and Foley for a WILD episode of AYG. Kate talks growing up in Philly, fighting a cop, and partying too much in college. Support our Sponsors: https://reelpaper.com and use the code : Garbage Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage, the show where you sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they're complete trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful scorching day here at Gas Digital Studios in the big studio in the East Village.

It is sticky out there gang. I got a lot of gold bond on right now. A lot of gold bond out. Can make a cake down there if you want to. My co-host is coming at us from right next to me. He's my good pal. Ladies and gentlemen, next time you're reaching for a best buddy, make it a kippy because this kid's taste great and he's less filling.

Not too shabby. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan everybody. Hey gang, thanks so much. What the hell was that? Happy to be here. I'm a little guest. No, happy to be here. Guys, as always, appreciate all the support so far.

If you haven't already, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Also full video available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well. And to get all the bonus features, you can subscribe to Gas Digital Network. Use promo code AYG and you save a couple of bucks every month and we get to wet our beak and that's why we're fucking doing this. So use promo code AYG baby. That's right.

You get everything in HD and who doesn't want to see the fat man in HD. But that's either here nor there. We could not be more excited to have our very special guest here with us today. She is one of the hosts of Zero Block 30 on Barstool Sports. She is the co-host of Chaps and Kate on SiriusXM. She is a United States Marine Corps veteran, two tours in Afghanistan, the Helmand province. That ain't fucking Rodale Drive. I can tell you that, Kippy.

You and your good time buddies, smoking doobies down in the suburbs. She was out there fucking putting the work in. But the big question everybody's mind today is she garbage? Ladies and gentlemen, give us a nice big round of applause for Kate Manion, everybody. Yeah. I applaud myself. Yeah. Thank you so much.

Thank you for your service. Obviously. Thank you. I know that's probably corny to say. I don't know how veterans like that. No. My dad always shies away from it. I know.

But he'll get his free meal on Veterans Day at Applebee's. I'll pay you that. That's almost like, oh, no, no, no. But as soon as the free boost comes into it, I'm like, it was so hot over there. It was so hard. Yeah, so. Now, here's the thing that we brought that up. I see a little duality in this.

Now, as you know, Kevin and I, we're both garbage from suburban Philadelphia, all right? Now, you are a veteran and my eyes, our eyes, veterans can't be trash. I know as a veteran and Marine Corps, you'll say again, all right, I know some of those guys played fast and loose, but that's a very classy thing. However, I also know that you grew up in Coatesville, Pennsylvania. True. Yes. Yes.

I just hoffed one to bounce back from. Yes, it is. Their main export is ringworm. Yes. Not a good look. All right. So you have that going on and I also know, doing a little research, that you originally wanted to be a dental hygienist.

Yes. Yes, I did. That is the trashiest of all the dental professions. Especially down in that area. Yeah. A lot of good digging in the mind. Dental hygienist always was the coolest one in the office, but also played it the most fast and the most loose.

Yeah. So very interesting show we have out of us. Do you think you're garbage? Immediately. Yes. I was like, am I supposed to pretend like maybe I feel good about myself, but I don't. Well, actually, gentlemen, I don't believe that. Yeah.

Half my DMs all the time on social media are like, are you okay? Are you okay? I should change a couple things in my life, but that's all. Is everything going all right with you right now? Yeah. You still haven't found your car yet. Not yet, but one of these days I will. In there.

Is that a real thing? Are you missing the car? I did find it again, but a good six months and over a thousand dollars worth of parking tickets. What? How'd you lose the car? It's a long, it was more of a, I knew kind of where it was, but I knew there was parking tickets on it and I just didn't want to see it.

So I was like, ah, fuck it. And then all of a sudden it was six months later and I was like, COVID hit and I was like, I kind of would like to be able to get out of the city. Wow. Six months of alternate side parking tickets. Yes. It was still there. It was still there.

Steep. That's crazy that it's still there. Yeah. I know. All the money I saved during COVID, not being a dirt bag at the bars, went to get on the street. Wow. Holy shit.

That's a real dirt bag move. Yes. Talk about kicking the can down the road. That's tomorrow's problem. I got real hemmed up with that. I had my, my car up here and the same thing. I would get tickets. I got a couple of days I'll pay and I would monitor it, but once it gets to like 400 bucks,

then they slap the boot on you. But the boot's like four bills. So I go out one day to move the car, I got this sticker on there and I call the place or the UO, $800 or we're towing it in a couple of minutes. I was on the phone to Patty Foley right quick, like, Mom, we got to straighten this out. She's like, what do you think you're going to do? I'm like, what the, I'm fucking doing it. What do you mean?

Cut the fucking check. Always a good time. Six months. Why? Why did they call coats? What are the coatsville Rip City? Oh, Rip Hamilton. He's a NBA player and I think that's like the only, it's been like two decades now and

it's still the banner that hangs over the town. I'm like, welcome to Rip City. We used to wrestle coatsville high school in high school and those kids all smelled like burning wood. Every one of them, their main sorts of heat was either coal or wood pellets. That's my favorite story as of late is that they finally built this new park and there's always so much corruption in the town, everything. They finally built this new park and everyone was so excited because they put one of those

splash pads in it where the kids could play. My parents went to visit it and they're like, yeah, we went to check it out and immediately somebody drove their car up onto it and started washing their car. It's like, all right, we're getting better. That ain't Kenny Bunkport. Yeah. Trash, dude. Oh my God.

Shout out to coatsville. Dude, there's some towns, I'm from Bucs, you're from Montgomery County. There's some of the, you know, I'm sure it's like it around the rest of the country, but like there is just garbage roots and garbage DNA in those people outside of Philadelphia. It's just like this blue collar. Yeah. Trash that you can never shake. But because we're proud of it, that's why.

Yeah, we have no qualms with it. Yeah. Imagine having the balls to drive your car up to a new park, like kids' water park and wash your fucking wheel wells. That's crazy. Zero shame. Yeah. It's nuts.

It's marinated. Moving the nine-year-olds out of the way so you can get the rain mix off. Yeah. Can you kids get the fuck out of the way? Yeah. I went muddin' last night. It was one of those towns like two when I finally, I ended up dropping out of college but when I went to college and kids were like, oh, you're from Coatsville, that's where

my church went every summer to help fix up the, that's like where the team groups are going. Oh my God. I was in the Peace Corps there. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

Thanks for the new roof, guys. Appreciate it. My mom and I. The new roof and the powdered melt. We appreciate it. My cousin did that. She joined, you know, like some like church groups. She was like, I want to give back when she was in her like early 20s or something.

She was in her house. Yeah. No. And she lives in Kensington and she went to the two places and they were like, well, the two, she went to some organization like, well, we either send you to Georgia or Kensington. She's like, you could just do your neighborhood. You know what I mean?

If you really want to. How about you just get your shit together? Yeah. Yeah. Start at home, will you? Tell your neighbors to cut the grass. Yeah. So tell us about growing up at Coatsville.

What was the situation? Do you have brothers, sisters, mom, dad? Give us the works. Yeah. So my parents are Delaware County. They're Delco, Drexel Hill and Havertown. Oh, they're too nice. They're all on the nicer edge, I think.

Nicer edges. They met at the Swell Bubblegum Factory, which I love. What? Yeah. There's a YMCA now, but they met at a bubblegum factory. My dad was like. Were they working there? Yeah.

My dad was like the gumball room supervisor. My mom was like the gumball lady. What? He was like, oh yeah. Billy Joel, right? Yeah. I know. I know.

Whenever we're in that town. Well, we're living here in gumball town. Yes. So whenever we drive by that Y now, my dad's like, see that parking spot right there? I got your mother. Yeah. Said it was my birthday. We made out.

They gave her a piece of hubba bubba. She was all mine. Yeah. So that's how my dad's one of 13 and like huge family, of course. Irish Catholic? My mom's one of nine Irish Catholic. Can't go through Delco without like, you don't want to honk your horn at somebody. It's probably your Aunt Rita or something.

You don't want to be rude. And then they moved out to Coatesville. Just my brother and I. So that's it. Small family out that way. Okay. But I would say like middle, like. What'd your dad do?

He was on the business end of like a dialysis company. He got his history teacher degree. Okay. But then kids came along, ended up working at like the hospital out there and got into like the dialysis business, the business end. That's not bad. White collar. That's good.

Yeah. Not digging ditches. There you go. That's all right. He left the gumball factory. Left the gumball factory and moved his way up. And then my mom was a speech pathologist. Wow.

So she knocked the Delco accent right out of my life. You said water? Get it out of there. It'll be fun if she was teaching people to have a worse Philly accent. Yeah. So class. What are you doing? Today class we're going to say use and jawn.

I see her face when some of my dad's sisters are talking and I'm like, don't. Probably cringeworthy. Yeah. That's fucking funny. Yeah. So yeah, pretty normal. Nothing too crazy. A little bit like right outside Coatesville in the Boonies like had farms on either side.

Right. Yeah. It gets a little rural out there pretty quick. Yeah. And I was the only like all my neighborhood, they all went to the private and Catholic schools, but my parents were like, we're paying taxes. You're going to Coatesville. You're going to public.

Sure. That's a very old school Irish mentality. Yeah. Yeah. That's the school. Yeah. Any local farms where you got ice cream from out there? Local farms in the nicer area, Chester Springs or whatever.

There was that one where you could like look at the cows or whatever. Never went, but we drove by it a lot. You got briars at home. Shut up. Yeah. My mom's favorite joke was like, especially when we were really like, who wants ice cream? And maybe my brother would be like, yeah, she just speed by it. That was like, that was a joke.

Yeah. That's a dirt bag move. My dad used to do that shit all the time. Yeah. What the fuck was your mom's stevo? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

That was like her great joy. Just punch it. Yeah. It was that or who wants to go bowling and either one, we just zipped by it. Ah, that's fucking too funny. Yeah. All right. So we got that single family home, you said?

Single family home. Yeah. Very nice driveway at a whole nine yards. Driveway. It got shellacked every summer by the guy who came through and shined it up. Yeah. Yeah. It's with that nice black coat.

Yeah. It's pretty nice to start the summer off. I love that. I know. Yeah. We had a basketball pole. You did have a basketball net? We had a bat.

Bees came out of it all the time. Oh, yeah. That's real. Yeah. But it was there nonetheless. Yeah. I killed a murder hornet not that long ago. You know, the murder hornets are moving into.

Would you check his ID first? New York City? Yeah. What's that? Because they're like that big. You can't miss them. They're not here. Yeah, they are.

There was one in my garage the other day. Was it a Cata killer? It looked like a Cata killer. So I might have, okay. That too. Truth be told. Truth be told. I wasn't sticking around.

Yeah. I went into the garage and scary. Yeah. And I went into the garage and grabbed the fucking can of wasp rain. Hit him. He died. Mm-hmm. So he was either a Cata killer or a murder hornet.

All right. But you're going with the scarier story to impress people. I like that. Yeah, yeah. So there I was. A swarm of them. I had two of them. The one had my wallet.

I told them. I told them. I told them. I told them. I told them. I told them. I told them. I told them.

I told them. I told them. I told them. I told them. More often, watch my dad run over a yellow jacket nest. Stuck in one. I see. Completely fucked up.

Yeah. Yeah, big time. What did he get all fucking lit off? Then he ran in the house and my mama I was like, get out of the house. All the bees actually kicked me back out. Kept him back out. You make your choices. Get out of there.

You can die. It's fine. Who was was it, a riding mower or push mower? Riding mower. A couple acres back there. Couple A, I say. Pool. One and a half?

No. Trampoline. Change one. Holy shit. Tetherball. That was my big 13th birthday surprise. What? I had all the girls over to play tetherball.

That's pretty classy. No, that's trash. No, tetherball's classy. Yeah. Yes, it is. This isn't that. Badminton's garbage. Tetherball's all right.

Yeah. I don't know about that. Tetherball? Did he have to pull like the concrete in to set the pole? They didn't do that. They kept having to put it in all over the yard. All right. Yeah.

There we go. We're getting into it. It's hanging over in the winter. Yeah, so. Oh, my God. I always thought it was real classy at certain playgrounds. They had that game where it was like a big cup and you would throw the ball into the thing and it would come out at one of the different things.

That blew me away. I thought it was awesome. You didn't get out much, did you? That blew you away? Real plastic and not jaggedy metal. Yeah. That's a fancy. That's pretty classy.

Tetherball. All right. That's a RU garbage first. Tetherball. Tetherball. We're getting a picture here. Let's launch into a little bit of RU garbage. Okay.

We're going to ask you a series of questions. Please answer them to the best of your ability. Answer them honestly. Okay. And if they spark any memories, the worst of memory is the better. Okay. Please feel free to tell us. You are talking to two pieces of trash.

Okay. So you already got the Tetherball. You're already beating both of us, so don't worry. All right. All right. Start out with a couple of the basics that we like to do on the show here. What was the name of the street that you grew up on? Rollin' Road.

Fancy. Rollin' Road. It's not bad. Fully paved? Rollin' Road. Later in life it was. It was that like gray super, we all got roller blades for Christmas and it would like hurt. You know?

It was like, ugh. Like your legs got that bad. I know that one. Yeah. That's trashy. Sorta. Yeah. It wasn't a service road or anything, was it?

No. Not a service road. Okay. Any highways near you? No. Like your house didn't back up to one of those like overpasses or something? One yard between us. One yard between us and kind of a highway.

That's a buffer. That's enough of a buffer. Yeah. We had a buffer. Was it a turnpike behind you? No. Not a turnpike. All right.

Fair enough. Pretty good. Okay. All right. Do you have a garage? Yes. Okay. Big question on all you garbage.

Did you have a garage fridge? No. Did not have a garage fridge. No. Even now? Even now. Still? Well, they live in an apartment now.

Okay. 55 and up. Yeah. The house, the property value. About the yard. Yep. Clean living. Yeah.

It sucks to us because my parents are starting to think about doing that. And that'll be a sad day when I lose the house. When you're legally not allowed in the apartment anymore? Yeah. Hey, Terry and Patty, your fat son can't come over anymore. Oh. Okay. There was no second fridge anywhere.

Not a basement fridge. Not a single one. Wow. Was the basement refinished? No. We had a pretty basement. We had a ping-pong table, though, from what it's worth. I'm good.

But there was a lot of Christmas decorations and all that shit. Boxes. A whole lot of junk. An old telescope that we never used. Was there a dehumidifier down there in the basement? Yes. It flooded all the time. Everything was up on those little racks.

Every now and then a tropical storm would come through. When I was a kid, it was the most dramatic. Our house was under water. It was the same shit. When you walk down into somebody's basement and you're a kid and you just get that waft of musky mold. Yeah. You're just like, ah, man.

Dude, we did it. We redid ours in the early 90s. Fully redid it. It was like, we're going to be for the kids. Big basement. And it just flooded every year. And then they just never, it just cut the drywall off. A foot high.

Just excited. And my mom would be like, your friends are over. Go play down the pay. I'm like, this shit's embarrassing, lady. This is an active construction site. There's a little mold down there. We have a situation going on with my parents right now. They had a bar put in their shower.

They have a stand-up shower. They had the bathroom reed down. They had to party up. It's sort of my dad for like, you know, sturdiness or whatever. So you can have something. But fucking couple of days ago when I was home, all of a sudden we get on stairs in the basement and it's leaking through the drop ceilings. Real trashy, by the way.

You got drop ceilings in your house. Drops. Well, we don't need more because they got all soaked in black mold. So you got exposed ceilings in your house. And fucking and like saran wrap up everywhere. That plastic shit. We got a big leak in the bathroom. They can't figure it out.

We've had two plumbers and a contractor there. They can't figure out what's going on. But we got black mold in the basement. Quit bragging, dude. You guys got to, I got to talk to your mom. She's got to get that 55 and older. Yeah, I'll send you guys a card. From where mine are living.

They're talking about it because I was driving my dad. Well, if they keep living there, they're going to fuck that house up and no one's going to want to buy it. We were driving to my brother's when I was home and my dad drove by this brand new 55. He's like, that's what we're thinking. And I'm like, nah, you don't want to live there. What are you talking about?

Because I want to get the house eventually at the right price. They love it. They are in the middle apartment and their big brag is that they never turn their heat or air conditioning on because it's insulated, which is not true. It's like a nightmare anytime you stay there. It's either boiling or freezing. Their lights are always off. What do you guys do?

What is with that with parents, man? I don't know. In the winter, it'll be freezing in there. My mom will be like, it's good for you. I'm like, no, it's not. In the summer, it's fucking boiling hot. Dude, my parents sit around and fucking, my mom will sit on the couch and watch Fox News in a fucking dinner jacket.

And I'm like, this is ridiculous. She's like, well, put some clothes on. I'm like, I got a hoodie on later. You're not walking around in a fucking snow suit. What the fuck? Trying to relax a little bit. Holy shit. No garage fridge.

No second fridge. No garage fridge. That's a strike against you. I have to say. I know. What was the name of the supermarket you went to growing up? Acme. Class.

Class. Acme middle of the road. Yep. Does anyone in your family pronounce it Acme? Yes. I have several answers. Yes, absolutely. Going down there to the Acme.

The Aunt Mary, Pat, Divistano, whatever, reincarnate. Yes, definitely. Definitely the Acme. Wegmans was above. That was not. Wegmans is the top of the line. The top of the line. Right.

So that's like Stu Leonard's up here, I guess. Yeah. Stu Leonard's is nice. They got nice deli counters. Stu Leonard's fresh. A little bit above. Paper thin, they cut that ham. I don't know what they cut it with.

I know. But it's fantastic. Yeah. So Acme was the, and what is it? No, no. Shoprite. Can can. Shoprite.

Shoprite. I heard of the Can Can ads. Yeah. Classy. It was Acme or Shoprite. Your frozen orange juice over there. Shoprites were all right. Shoprites were pretty good.

Shoprites are pretty good. Okay. Getting a picture. Getting a picture. What was the lunch situation when you were a kid? Would you pack a lunch or would your mom, or would you give you money for school? Usually packed, and we had to pack it ourselves, kind of thing. So, yeah.

Were they military? Baby and Jay? No. You could eat your own lunch. I know. Fuck that. I would have lost it. Try and sneak as many star crunches as I could in there.

Those things are so good. Yeah. Little Debbie's. Once I had like middle, middle and high school. It was like $1.50 that a lot of times that she would give me, and I would just get a Snapple and Otis Bunkmeyer cookies was the go to. Let me tell you something. I don't know if that's a local thing or not, but Otis Bunkmeyer cookies hit the fucking

eastern seaboard. Where's something else? Like fucking thriller. Yeah. I would rate them for an average of 3.2 seconds. Yeah. They were basically raw. Yeah.

They were so soft. But dude, four of those and a fucking Snapple. Good night. Yeah. Fint. They were a quarter. For years, that's like all I had for lunch pretty much. Yes.

We were big, our squad. Rosenberger's iced tea. You remember? Do I? Yeah. Fucking put their kids through college. Fucking good stuff. Okay.

All right. Okay. I got it. All right. I got it. It's a classy thing. I'm going to say. I know.

I'm sorry. But paper bag. I didn't have a fancy. I think the paper bag is class. It's like the reusable, dirty, you're washing it out. Yeah. What are we doing here? Pay a dollar 50 for a 50 pack and you're good for a couple of weeks.

You know? Plus those kids that had, if you had a lunch box, that's fine. Yeah. You have a legit lunch box. That's fine. But I remember when kids started having those like square, they were like, they'd have like a thing of dry ice in there, like an ice pack. Yeah.

And it was always a fucking jump. Nerd. Yeah. Yeah. High water chance. Speed walkers. Those kids speed walk to class. Yes.

Yeah. I think, yeah. My mom, my mom every year would be like, I'll buy you this for back to school. I'm like, you're fucking nuts if you think I'm taking, I'm not bringing anything home from school. You know what I mean? I'm not carrying this around with me all day. I wasn't even a book bag guy.

I hate a book bags. I would just carry one book or two. I still, I'm like, I'm a big school bag guy. Can't stop it. Yeah. Do you call it a book bag or a school bag? I call it backpack. That's fancy.

That's fancy. I came in here thinking I was garbage. School bags are trashiest. You might turn it on us. I don't know. I know. I'm starting to feel good. I'm starting to feel good.

Very interesting here. Okay. All right. I got one. Does that, when you go to a family party, does anybody in your family serve buffalo chicken dip? Always. Always.

Always. Without question. Hoagie dip. Hoagie dip. Hoagie dip. Hoagie dip. Hoagie dip. For the listener out there, it's not from the Philadelphia, Hoagie dip is what we call

garbage. Oh my God. It's so good. It's great. It's great. Whenever I'm hammered and I come back like down the shore or whatever, eat it with my bare hands. Oh, yeah.

I just, oh, God, yeah. Orders are the best. I love fucking orders. I don't know if Hoagie dip classifies as an order, I fully, though I don't think the French would co-sign on that, okay? So there's always. It's an appetizer at best. The Hoagie dip, the buffalo chicken, and then there's always those, why are they always

wet? Those pretzel nuggets from the pretzel factory, they're always wet. They are. The pretzel tray. It's the salt, yeah. The salt like brings out the. All the liquid. I know.

I just, I did a family party down in Wildwood, New Jersey. Oh, you're garbage. Oh, pure trash. Pure. That's why we have the show. Everybody goes, you're trash. We're like, yeah, we know. That's why.

We had, first of all, we rented a pirate ship for my cousin's birthday. Went out on a pirate ship, at least 25, that's the way of whatever. We had Hoagie dip. Hoagie back over on an oil tanker. Kippy's the captain now. Yeah. He stole it. Buffalo, chicken dip, Hoagie dip, and the taco dip.

Do you ever do taco dip? Yes. Oh, taco dip's trashy. Can't go wrong. And then it's just a bunch of drunk fucking potato headed Irishmen digging their hands in there. It's fucking gross. Drunk bare handed.

So I was at a communion party with family and they got crucifix pretzel, soft pretzel crucifixes. We're all like, don't get in the dips and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It's the best. In the name of the father, the son, and the garbage. You know what that reminds me of?

We had an Italian section of our family and every Easter, somebody's grandmother would make this famous Italian cookie for Easter, but it would be like a shortbread cookie, but it would just have a hard boiled egg just plopped in the center. A hole in the shell. Not collard or anything. In the shell. In the shell, like a whole hard boiled egg just fucking sitting in the middle of the cookie.

Real fucking. That doesn't make any fucking sense. The communion party though, that's, you don't, you don't realize how good the Jewish kids had it. Jewish kids were pulling 20, 30 Gs at a bar mitzvah. Yeah. Did you see any of your community money? Do you remember?

I don't remember, but I will say my communion party was like one of the biggest bangers of my life. I was fucking sick. Aerosmith played. Yeah. My dad would DJ on the weekends to make extra money. He would, he had to borrow the equipment from somebody else, but he would DJ all around. And so he, like, I had, so I had all the official DJ equipment in my community party.

Yeah, that's the shit. As an eight year old or whatever. It was. Yeah. And we're like, we could request, you know, so we're like requesting all the songs and the whole family came out. Yeah. I got, I remember opening the money.

I don't remember what happened to it. Yeah. You never see it. You never see it. Yeah. And I hate to say it. The tetherball's nice. The part time DJ.

That's going down in the fuck. Yeah. Sorry. Where, where was the communion party? In my backyard. Okay. Okay. The halls are really trashed.

The driveway? The halls. Yeah. People rent a hall. It was not at a firehouse where a lot of the others were. Yeah. Yeah. They're real cars.

I spent a lot of time at a VFW, I have. Oh yeah. Uh-huh. Make the best meatballs. I don't know why. Yeah. The meatballs and mashed potatoes are fucking top shelf. I don't know what they put in the sterno, but it's fucking great.

Yeah. There's also no windows ever in a VFW. No. It's all, it's like, you walking into a fucking black box, it's cold as shit. Not a lot of spicy air in there. Yeah. Spicy air. Not a lot of progressive thinking, either.

No. Like the clear solo cups. You know what's bad? I was in the military and I very rarely get nervous. I get shaky when I'm walking into one. I'm like, I don't belong in here. Me and my vagina fits. Do not belong in this.

Yeah. Try walking in with four black comedians. They get real fucking choice with the words. Big glass tonight. Yeah. How do you feel about Pillsbury products? Uh, I grew up on Crescent Rolls. Oh, come on.

I don't know if they're always name brands, but definitely slamming them on the counter. They're something about that. Off brand Crescent Rolls, that's a level of trash. Crescent Rolls are trash. See, a lot of the good things are just trashy. Yes. It's like, if you're making bread in five minutes, you're cutting some corners. You know what I mean?

That's true. There's no limiting agent in there. Yeah, making bread is an art. People study their whole life to make bread. And then, you know, it's just like these fucking housewives slamming it down and throwing it in the oven. My mom burnt them every fucking night. Oh yeah.

But they were still. Love them burnt. First on them. The brown bottom. Yeah. Them and hot dogs. The more burnt the hot dog is, the more I'm in. I agree.

Roasted. Yeah. Get a nice ballpark, charred on the outside, medium rare in the center. Yep. All in. You mentioned the shore. Where do you go to the shore? I'll see.

I'm going to sound fancy again. Seattle City. Yeah. A mix of Anglesey, Wildwood, a little bit, but Seattle City is the. His one cousin is a house diner in Seattle. I grew up going to Seattle. Same here. Every year of our life, my dad's whole family would run out like an entire block.

Where it's like four families jammed into one house kind of thing. Yeah. We're next to the Acme. Did you ever take a vacation where multiple cars followed each other? Pretty much. My whole life, that was the vacation. Like I, when I finally joined the military, I, that was the farthest. I had never gone past Indiana and I was like, holy fuck, a real cactus.

Like I remember being like, like blown away by like real palm trees and shit. I was like, whoa. And yeah, I was 20 something at that point. Yeah. That was Jersey Shore. Was it? Was it? Yeah.

That was big. Yeah. Like, yeah, there's, there's parts to Seattle that are classy and some, no, not parts, but like it still draws some trash. Absolutely. Trash still goes. It was built on trash. Yeah.

Yeah. They kind of turned, they turned it around for themselves in the 80s. Yeah. The Jersey Shore was complete garbage. I'd say up until the 90s. Maybe Avalon or someplace like that. Yeah. There's money there.

Yeah. I mean, I quarantined in Wildwood. That's where I went. Yeah. Look at you. Yeah. Wow. Quarantine.

Quarantine. I had a space to go quarantine. You said that like such. I was saying it because it's trash. But whatever. Yeah. I guess I'm classy. I quarantined.

Yeah. That's what I meant is I quarantined. I summer in Wildwood. From herpes. He didn't have COVID. Had to keep him off the board. Get that hot lip. Yeah.

Okay. What are your thoughts on putting chips on a sandwich? Always. Yeah. Always, always, always, always. Very nice. Yeah. I love it.

I love it. I love it without it at this point. And I'm a big. I still eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Of course you do. That's my go to. Are you chunky or creamy? Creamy.

Thank you. No chunks at all. And it's got to be salt and vinegar or like spicy chips. Got to go on a PB and J. You put it on the sandwich. You put it on the PB and J? Oh yeah. Oh.

Always. Always. Yes. That's some trash. I like it. I like it. I fucking like salt and vinegar chip on a PB and J. Sweet and salty.

Yeah. It's really good. Little pickles with peanut butter and jelly. On it? On the side. Yeah. Like a gentleman. If I'm hammered, I'll put chips on anything.

Yeah. Yeah. This is a little regional, but how do you feel about the product known as tomato pie? Were you a tomato pie family? I don't love it. Okay. I know. I like upside down Sicilians hot, but I never really loved the tomato pie.

I was at the, at the communion party or DERV table. It was always there. Sure. It's out. Always my last choice. Yes. It's not from the area. Tomato pie is like, um, it's like a square pizza that's served cold and it just has like

a really thick red sauce on top. It's delicious. Shout out to corporalies in East Norton. It's an acquired taste. I feel like if you're a kid eating tomato pie, like you say, you should have to be 20 to eat a tomato pie. Oh, I see the kids lap it down like fucking mother's milk. We love it.

Big tomato pie family. The cookies with the eggs in them and yeah, we're starting to learn a lot about you. That just jogged my memory. That's crazy. Man. We used to be like, what the fuck is this? And they used to give him out like they were handing out fucking stacks of hundreds. Like you would get that as you were leaving Easter.

They were like, don't forget to take your cookie home with you. It's like, that's not making it to the fucking car. It's in the, it's in the garden. Oh, okay. Does anyone in your family pronounce the days of the week as Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday? Yes. Yeah. My, I immediately am Peggy comes to mind.

Peggy is the classic fucking Irish Catholic woman from Philadelphia. Does she play the lottery? Probably odds are good. She has a place in Anglesey. Yeah, she does. And always down at the Anglesey pub. Yeah. Yeah, she definitely, definitely for now.

I have a few ants. All my ants are coming to mind, but they definitely have the Delco vibe. Yeah. Very strong. And Deppford, New Jersey. Oh. It's a bit of a mix there. I always only hear Deppford on the local radio when there's like a car auction or something

like that. That's what you hear. Come on now to Deppford. Yeah. So outside of Philadelphia, if people who got money, real trashy people who got money moved to Depp, moved to Jersey because they thought it was like, I'm going to get my, you know, wait till my number comes in, get a couple of bucks and I'm moving out to, I'm putting this whole town behind me.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And now it's, now South Jersey is just all trashy people, one generation removed from Philadelphia. Yeah. Huh. What was the pet situation growing up?

Just one, had one fish from the strawberry festival, they should be fair at the, uh, two days. Yeah. His name was Night Mover and I could see he only moved one night. Like Sleeper, huh? Yeah. Night Mover the Fish and then a cat, a black cat named Jet. Okay.

That's respectable. Respectable. A lot of people were saying that if you name pet names that are human names is trashy. Yeah. Yeah. If you have a dog named Gary or something. I had a German shepherd named Mike. Yeah.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So your parents claimed him on the income tax. Yeah. Yeah. No turtles, no snakes, no hermit crabs, ferrets, hamsters, guinea pigs. We were not a big, there was a huge nest of bees that lived in the wild.

Your dad eventually killed them. Yeah. It was like that scratching some data here, scratching the wall, no you don't, no you don't, no you don't. And then it turns out there's like a thousand bees an inch from like breaking through the wall. Holy shit. Infestation.

So they were kind of like Mike. They were, yeah. They were clothing near and dear to you. Right. Did you ever have a bad infestation like that growing up? No. I just said our wild woodhouse got termites this year. Yeah.

They got skunks for a while. Oh yeah. Pull up the driveway and you see all their little eyeballs looking at it. Oh, they fucking frightened me. And they somehow got underneath like the, like where the steps are to get into my, to get into my parents house. They like dug through the concrete somehow like, you know, on the side and they were like, they were practically in the house.

They were like in the crawl space. They threw their way in. It smelled like skunk in there for like three summers. Summers. Dude, it was bad. You couldn't call anybody? We did. We had someone get rid of them, but it took the guy like six months to kill them.

The guy came out and he was like, fucking, yeah, I know exactly what I'm doing. I think I've told this before. He set up like six traps around my parents house. I woke up the next morning, we went out. There was six different animals in the fucking trap, none of which were fucking skunks. It was like two possums, a dog, a squirrel, your dad stuck in one. Yeah. We definitely thought that's fucking garbage.

All right. No pets. Yeah. Pretty classy. One cat. I know. I'm more and more. I'm feeling, you know, I'm feeling better.

I say you're on the line. I'm sorry to sit taller and look down. Yeah. You fucking piece of trash over there. I'm slowly looking down. Yeah. The dad DJing on the sides. He never DJed anything that you were at socially as a kid.

Like you didn't catch him at like the prom or anything. No. We would throw a big St. Patrick's Day party every year in the garage and that was where they would decorate it and he would rent the, he would do the DJ equipment. And then after the party, I would always get to roller blade around in the garage to whatever I wanted while everybody was like all hammered in. How big was the garage? It was very small.

I feel like it barely fit one car. This guy's running the speakeas in that goat's head. Yeah. We had people run over our mailbox every year. It was always like a shit show. Oh man. That was special times. Did you ever get in trouble when you were a kid?

Did you ever get busted by the cops? In college I did, but at home, no. I was really good at sneaking, sneaking around. What was the college? College. I played rugby in college. Okay. And I like watched Tommy Boy and Animal Houses a kid and was like, that's what I want to

be. And so I really dedicated. So went to college, joined the rugby team, moved into the rugby house. We were having this huge party and I had broken a couple of ribs at a game that day. God damn. So mama had a couple of vicaroons in her system. Now you're speaking a big man's language. Yeah.

So I had a couple of pain pills and then we had played West Virginia and they were like, they brought up this big jar of weed that was like superponed. So I'm smoking that and everybody goes out to the bars and I was like, I'm going to be responsible and wait right here. You guys come back. I'll be here. Yeah. You don't want to leave the Viking alone.

That's what it was. So I was sitting on our stoop drinking a 40 ounce, just waiting for my buddies to come back. I think we just passed the line. And the rugby house is literally right across the street from the Indiana County Jail, like literally 20 feet, just a regular little street. And they're like, the prisoners would always look down and wave at us and they could see our address.

They would write us letters and stuff. And like, yeah. Dear girl in the purple hoodie last Tuesday, balls in your court now, like shit like that. You're like, all right. Well, you got to give that ingenuity on their end though. They'll figure it out. Exactly. And I'm drinking or whatever.

And this guy comes up and he's like, oh, you rugby girls are crazy because sometimes the cops would come out and be like, Hey, you're getting them all riled up. Can you take the party out back or something because they would be like fighting for window space and stuff. What? Really? Like, yeah. So I was sitting on the stoop and I was drinking this 40 ounce and I was like, I had the spinnies

like full on already. I remember you're all biked up. Hold on. Using the word spinnies. That's going to get you to. Yeah. I had just texted a guy too. I like booty called him.

I was like, Hey, you look like I was feeling like a 10 at that moment. On top of the world. Yeah. I probably look like a rat. Like on the front. So I was like, Hey. So I just texted him. So as he's coming over the hill and the rugby, some of the rugby girls are still partying

in the house. But this guy comes up. It's like, Oh, you rugby girls are crazy, blah, blah, blah. I remember him saying something like, I bet you won't smash that bottle or something like that. That's entrapment. I was like, I bet you right into the street. I smashed it.

You know, I remember him like lunging for my legs and me holding on to the house and then people at whatever, long story short, I got a, I maybe got a little swingy with the cup. That's a piece of shit. Yeah. That's entrapment. We'll see. This is how I remember it.

Is that he asked me. Sure. Yeah. She was probably like, Hey, listen, you don't think I'll smash this bottle. Do you? This took place in the police station that you walked over it though. In hindsight, I probably thought he was the booty call I called over and was like, this will get a stick hard.

I like, I don't know. This will get a rock hard. Yeah, exactly. But it took, ended up taken there to pull a cop car up. I'm a wiggler. I don't like to brag. Very hard to get in cuffs. You resisted?

I resisted. I swung. I was doing the worm. I just remember looking up as they were cuffing me and then seeing the guy called like standing in the flesh. How did that get in there? I was like, Oh shit. Third room at the top of the stands.

Yeah. Don't touch my vikes. Yeah. That was the thing. Wow. Holy shit. All right. That's kind of what we're looking for.

Resist arrest. Yes. Kate. I know. I'm a wiggler. That's not the term. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I got the jitters. I like how you have these cute little words for these horrible things. Yeah. So I took a couple of vikes, shot some Harry. I beat up a copy. No big deal.

Wow. And what was the name of the school you went to? Did we already say this? Indiana University of Pennsylvania. IUP. That's crazy. Any time you go to a university of that state in another state, it's always bad. Right next to California University of Pennsylvania.

Yeah. University of Miami, Ohio is the fucking tri-nobody. Yes. Has nobody's ever graduated from Miami University of Ohio. Yeah. If you have graduated from that institution, please send us a fucking email. Yeah. I think that's the 0.0 graduation rate.

I think those schools, too. I had a couple of buddies on the top. You've been literally none of them graduated. One another up to like three years. Oh yeah. I didn't. I sure didn't. They, there's just, because they'll take, I don't want to say they'll take anybody,

but they take a rougher bunch. You know what I mean? I don't even think I applied. I don't think I just showed up and started going there and they're like, all right. Can you get Percocet? Yeah. You wait. Come on.

Where's the nosebears? All right. That's his word. Nosebears. Oh, you are fucking trash. Nosebears, yeah. Yeah. It's not my word.

It's my friend's word. We'll put it that way. Oh man. Those schools, and I knew a couple of kids that went to satellite campuses, and like they go to. Penn State Satellite Campus. Oh. Penn State Satellite Campus.

We're fucking Alpuna. Alpuna. Yeah. Hazelton. Yeah. Oh, you go to, go to for two years, get your grades up and go to main campus. You're fucking terrible. You just start selling Coke now.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It's like three or four people that made the jump from Alpuna to main campus. Yeah. Yeah. No, but that's. Eight years later, they're still there working at some restaurant in town.

Yeah. Your friends at Maine go on pity visits to see you. Oh. Yeah, sure. We'll come out. Yeah. Yeah. I think I got a weekend for you in November.

Yeah. Yeah. That was like taking a bus out to somebody's fucking school. That sucked. Mm-hmm. That's pretty fucking. Wow. That's a lot.

Jeez. We were on the fence earlier. That kind of pushed you. Yeah. Yeah. I think college was a little kooky. I feel like that's when I started to really hit my garbage stride. That sounds like it.

My parents were kind of strict. And then I was one of those kids. That happens. Like that cliche. Like I got free and I was like. Did you drink in high school or anything? I did. But like very sneaky like.

Okay. I was never like. Yeah. But then when I hit college, I was like. And did your parents find out about the incident with the fight in the cop? Oh yeah. Oh my God. When they.

You can't keep that one. My senior year when they came to move me out. So like I made it to my senior year and that Christmas break is when I dropped down and joined the military. I was like, I became such a dirtbag. They came to move me out. And they're like, this is horrible. My dad, my parents are like very strict.

They go to like pick up the bed and move it or whatever. And there was like all these used cars. What the fuck? I was like, those aren't mine. Yeah. No shit. They were the last guys. Yeah.

Oh. The last Virginia rugby team. Yeah. It was like the only time I've ever seen my dad cry. Oh my God. I was like, uh. Yeah. Holy shit.

Kate. I really dug into it. I said, I'm going to live this life. Really? He started crying. Well, it wasn't tell. Yeah. Well, the ride home a little bit.

I think it all hit him. My sweet baby. Probably had a DJ gig that night. All the inmates are waving as you're leaving. See, Kate. I'll see you in three to five. She was great. You got a good girl there.

Oh my God. That is fucking. Holy shit. Sorry. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. That is fucking. Holy shit. I'm sorry. Oh my God. I'm sorry. She was like answering the question. No, we had a cat.

You know. Her dad crying. That's the fucking bastard. I would roller blade from time to time. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Dude, that's too fucking funny. Oh man.

Anyways. God's so good, dude. How do you feel about Gogurt? Let's go. Let's go back a little bit. Were you a Lunchables kid? Before or after I was a giant slut. I would say Gogurt's frozen.

Oh God. Yes. That's it. I'm talking about. That is top shelf answer right there. The older you get, the more you realize all the snacks you loved as a kid are a hundred times better frozen. I don't know why, but let me tell you something.

You throw a pack of Sour Patch Kids in the freezer for a couple hours. You got a real good time. That sounds a little weird to me. I tell everybody, the devil dogs, the whatever, they suck regular frozen. Drinks. They're amazing. Yes. They're amazing.

Yes. No, we just heard too. And oatmeal cream pies. Somebody had said Pop Tarts, right? Yes. Pop Tarts in the freezer. Ryan Shannon said Pop Tarts. Oh, I haven't seen Pop Tarts.

I haven't done it yet, but then these Pop Tarts started selling frozen, like more like cake version. The Soster Strudel. That's a good garbage question to ask people. Do you have a toaster? Were you a Pop Tart or a Toaster Strudel family? Pop Tart. But I feel like toaster strudel families are the fancy ones.

You'd think that, but I've had toaster strudel recently and they're garbage because you got to do the work. You got to put the fucking icing on. And it's never enough. Oh, it's fucking trash. And then how do you even heat that up? I don't know. I was a Pop Tart kid.

I mean, you're nuts. Cinnamon and sugar Pop Tarts. I was a Toastums kid. We didn't even get name brand Pop Tarts. We got Toastums. Yeah, they suck. Your dad should have been DJing on the weekends. Yeah, your dad should have tried it a lot.

You would have turned out great. Yeah, right? You would have fucked a rugby team too. Holy shit. Yeah. Gang, let's take a quick second and talk about today's sponsor, which I could not be more excited about. I have this product in my home.

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Plus you get free shipping in the US. That's realpaper.com and use the code Garbage. Use the code Garbage. Do some good for the world while wiping your butt. Alright, back to the show. Hey, in college, how many days a week do you think you would drink? Almost seven. I love it.

I was that friend that on a Monday night, if you didn't have class Tuesday, I was that friend that you could be like, I know who'll come out with me even though it's a Monday night. Yes. I was the same guy. I used to even do worse. If I didn't have class on Tuesday and I'm so on Monday night, I'd be like, yo, come out.

It's eight AM. I'm like, dude, you've been guys. You were there four weeks in a row. Come on or whatever. I would convince my friends to just party with me. Yep. If I had class on Tuesday, I was still going out because that was the big thing for me when I got to college.

I could say no, like just being able to not like you really didn't have to go to class. Right. And when you're at college in the beginning of the semester, and you go out on like a Monday and get fucked up and you spend the rest of the day laying around smoking, we're going back and forth to the cafeteria. Woo. That's fucking clean. I went to Temple and the cafeteria had like draft Gatorade.

If they had like, you know, it was out of a machine and it came out at like 33 degrees. Yeah. It saved lives. That shit. I miss those days loitering at the Chow Halls or whatever. Ah, yes. That's a military. That's why my back cafeteria was Chow Halls.

Did you used to shop on military bases? Did you go to the exchange? Yes. Yeah. We used to go, my dad was Navy. Ah. In Vietnam. And then he recruited out of Willow Grove for most of my life.

And that was always a big thing. The exchange is on basis and it's like, like there's no tax or. No tax. Yeah. They're cheaper. They're always a little bit cheaper. It's like when you would go to Delaware to buy a TV or whatever. Exactly.

Yeah. The total wine. They sell milk and jeans and like shit like that. But just before anybody was doing that, that was always a big thing. We're going to the exchange. Yep. Maybe stop at the commissary, get some sausage patties, fucking clean living, not the links but the patties.

The actual patties. The patties knew when I was in, because you're talking about military being classy, officers are classy, enlisted, we're all garbage for the most part. No offense said with love, we're all garbage, but like I used to when I first got in and I thought, I was like, I really did. I was like, so badass. They taught me like three karate moves and I was like, I could fucking kill anybody I want.

Get that cop back here now. With my hands. Yeah. I thought I could like take in somebody like me. So I literally had a shirt that I wore unironically around town with my dog tags out that said it was a bulldog and it said taking a bite out of the Middle East. Like I wore that thinking I was like, I don't want to leave like, now I want to die thinking about it.

But I used to be like, I'm dare somebody, I fucking dare him. I wish a motherfucker would. Yeah. Here we got caught. You had that shirt underneath your uniform. Guys, it's a joke. Yeah. Yeah.

It was a prank. It's a trick. I'm doing a trick. Yeah. I'll bark. Oh wow. That's something else. Yeah.

It's a real military. Obviously not like out in the field. It was probably bad. But like, I remember I went to a lot of bases with my dad and ate a lot of commissaries. I got to tell you, it was pretty fucking good. It's not bad. They'd always be like, hurry up. It's a sunny Friday.

It's like everybody, like there are certain days where you knew it was going to be good. It was going to be good. Yeah. Buffalo chicken salad day. It was a big one. Oh. Buffalo chicken salad. Yeah.

Rifty trashy. It's no dip. It's no dip. But yeah. Hmm. Yeah. I'm leaning trash, man. I think your childhood is good.

College really pushed it over. We're finding this a lot. We just had Ari Shaffir and he grew up Orthodox Jewish. Yeah. And then at 20, he broke that and it was just like he became a fucking lunatic. Yeah. So it's similar. You grew up under a tighter regime and then you were like, warning your parents.

This should be a show for parents. Yeah. You hear that, kids? Do you want your kid to be garbage? Hmm. You got to let him drink a little bit. Yeah. At some point.

Yeah. The kid at Kyle's didn't drink that, like drunk like a fifth of Jack Daniel's the first weekend. Yeah. It was like in the fucking hospital. Yeah. It carried out on the ground or whatever. Yeah.

Definitely. Okay. All right. I got one here. Growing up, did you have, did you ever have a cookie cake for your birthday? No. Never had a cookie cake. That's trash because you had to like get them in the mall or something.

The mall. Yeah. That was like, I was jealous of the kids that did. Yeah. But. But looking back, it was no good. Oh yeah. It sucked.

If you're going to the mall to get your fucking birthday cake, there's something wrong with that. It always had eyes on it too. Like fake eyes. Like it was a face. Yeah. It was real garbage. The thing was bringing the kids who brought that into school for their birthday.

That was like, oh shit. Mine was always Rice Krispies with M&M's in it. That was my big breed. Homemade? Homemade. So I don't know. That is class right there. Bring it back.

Yeah. That's class. I don't care how many condoms were used. Fucking homemade Rice Krispies treats. Put Emmys in it. That's nice. That's love from a mom right there that'll do that. Yep.

That's pure love. Even now, I like an ice cream cake. Don't get me wrong. All right. But on my birthday. Make sure you have more of an asparagus guy. But I love who my mom makes my birthday cake. Oh yeah.

Because she always made when I was a kid chocolate cake with butter cream icing and she'd make it homemade. I tell you what, man. You get to the center of a home cake. It's so moist. There's so much sugar that your teeth like hurt. That's clean living. Clean living.

I agree. It's just rolled back in your head. Is there a used condom under the table now? Jesus. Jesus Christ. How do you feel about Sherbert? Not a fan. Ooh, that's good.

Sherbert's trash. Give me the good. Yeah. The poor man's water ice. Yeah. Are you a fan of water ice? Yes. Readers?

Yes. Very nice. I like it all. Readers in a soft pretzel? Good night. Yep. How do you feel about Chipotle? Ooh.

Eh. Why so? What? It just doesn't. I still eat it. I just ate it the other day. I just had it to the head. I had it like once a week probably.

Yeah. But I don't. Good for you. Chipotle's trash. They try to act like it's fucking cool. They try to act like it's a little fresher. Let's go. Yes.

Right. And I think the more they, it's getting more and more taco bellish where I'm like, this is just like mass made food that I'm just shoving down my face here. And I still talk like the Ortega kids growing up like that to me is taco night. I can eat 50 of them and like the Chipotle, so I still am hooked because of that on the hard tacos. You get the hard shells there. The hard taco shells.

And they like fall apart in two seconds at Chipotle. That's my problem with it. Let me ask you this about the Ortega family pack that has everything in it. Big fan. Is it clean livin'? That's clean livin'. It was clean livin'. But I have a question for both of you.

Did you guys toast the taco shells? Yes. I don't think we did. See, that's fuckin' because my girlfriend's like, you don't toast them and I'm like, are you out of your fuckin' mind? You put them in the fuckin' oven for a couple of minutes. You have to. You're eatin' them raw.

Now I do feel like they were browned more. Yes. So maybe, I just don't remember. You gotta cook them. But some families didn't and just fuckin' ate them hardcore. It's like eatin' the rice. Yeah, they're stale. They're hard to chew that way.

Yeah, it's like the thickest kettle cook chip you could possibly get. All goes back to chips with you, huh? It goes, doesn't it? Did you ever get peanut butter and jelly in the same jar? No. Uh-uh. It's called doobers. I hate that.

Yeah, that's arguably the worst invention of the last thousand years. The ratio is not the same. There's always gotta be more peanut butter to jelly. Yes. Or a sandwich. Oh, see, I'm a jelly-heavy kind of guy. Oh, no, you can't. Believe it or not.

Yeah, that's not. Like a lot of jelly. Strawberry. And you keep jelly in the fridge, but you don't keep peanut butter in the fridge. So why are we combining the two? Very nice. It doesn't keep peanut butter in the fridge. That's great.

Yeah, it's a family. We kept it in the fridge growing up. Sucked. It just ripped in the bread. And it makes it really snappy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a bunch of end of fucking plastic knives in there. Oh, there's a little bit of jelly in there too.

That was always trash. I have cuts on the webbing of my hands from getting, like, hog and doze with the plastic spoons snapping and like, I'll just do another one. And they like, yeah. Well, you get hog and doze. That's where I'm at now. Will you eat the whole pint? You go for the whole pint?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't seem like a gal that's pulling back at the half. Yeah. Some people don't. They control it. They have, like, I'll go into somebody's freezer and find like a half thing of Ben and Jerry's.

Like, what are you, a fucking cereal, Kelly, about the smoke alarm go off or something? Yeah. Huh. All right. No sherbert. We're pulling back a little bit here. We're coming back into the black. I'm a little confused, I think.

I don't know what's going on here with her. Very interesting. Do you ever have to call 911 on a family member? Call 911? No. I've never had to call. No, I haven't. Has any family member ever had to call 911 on you?

No. Okay. I'm in the clear. Fair enough. Yeah. Is there any family members that you currently don't speak to? With 13 on that side, it's got to be tough to have no Irish egos getting in the way. No, honestly, they all turned out pretty great.

It's weird. Yeah. I actually, like, love my entire family. Wow. That's good. I know. I'm a fucking mind fan. Really?

Oh. It's tough. Don't mention cousin Jerry, then. Yeah. Fucking lose it. They're certain, like, you know, if they've had a beer or two, like, I'm just going to walk that way. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. For sure. Yeah. For sure. Hmm. Okay. Have you ever smoked weed out of a soda can?

Yes. Okay. Recently? No, no. Not recently. Probably been a few years. Okay. Do you drink eggnog on Christmas?

I hate eggnog. Thank you. Good for you. Good for you. I love it, but it's garbage. Oh, no. Dude, dairy and alcohol. What are we doing?

We're not little nutmeg and cinnamon. Come on. Ugh. I love white Russians, but I can't. There you go. That's the only exception. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.

Hmm. What's your favorite cereal? A Reese's Puffs. Hands down. I can eat a whole box, too, this day. I probably go through a box a week, and I have, like, the giant bowl when I'm hung over. I love.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I used to do it in Tupperwares. Like, a big thing at Tupperware. So good. It was the start of COVID. I live in a studio apartment, and I had the huge-ass bowl of Reese's Puffs, and I flipped the whole thing.

It was, like, full of milk upside down. And this is, like, a hand-me-down 15-year-old lazy boy, and the smell in that couch. It was the fucking nightmare fuel. What'd you do with it? Because I ordered a new lazy boy because of it. I was like, I can't look, but it's not getting here until this week, and I ordered it, like, four months ago. Hold on a second.

That's got to go in the file, too, as a plus. She's got new, lazy, lazy boy. New, lazy boy. You got lazy boy money. You're doing all right. What did that say to you? If you don't mind us asking, what did that say to you back for a new lazy boy? For a lazy boy love seat, over $1,000.

Ooh. Yes. It's, yeah. Not too shabby. I know. How much cash do you have on you right now? That's a good question you should ask people. I think I have, like, a lot of wrinkled up ones.

We do. Someone just broke out of a crisp blue $100 bill, yeah. Because he's got a little bit of cash on him at Greg Fitzsimons, and I was like, what do you got in the wallet? He was like, I was like, I guarantee you got a hundred. You got a fresh one there. Chris, like, right from the bank. The lazy boy money.

That's, I know. That's pretty fucking good. Were you guys at Beggle Bites or Pizza Rolls family growing up? Pizza Rolls. Ooh. Microwave. Microwave, Pizza Rolls. That's trash.

At least have the decency to put them in the oven, and everything's better in the oven. It was always microwave, but on a paper towel to soak up the grease, and then you had to nibble the edges so the grease wouldn't burn you. Oh, dude, that shit in the middle was nuclear. Yeah, dude. Take a lip off. Yeah. I don't get you.

What was your frozen pizza situation growing up? Did you guys mess with that? Frozen pizza? Oh, yeah. Elios all the way. Very nice. We're big Elios people. Yeah.

Did you ever make? Gentlemen, let's get a nice round of applause. In the studio. Yeah. Did you ever make it in the microwave? Yes. All the time. All the time.

There was something about getting out of, like, getting off the, fresh off the slip and slide out back and running in for a summer time. You had a slip and slide? For a frozen gogurt and an Elios. That's clean living right there in the slumber. Woo! Take me back. That's a good slice of Americana right there.

Did you ever upgrade and have yourselves a Stofer's French bread? No. Ever. Any Stofer's products in the house growing up? No. Ouch. Actually, we every now and then frozen lasagna, but I don't know if it was Stofer's. There you go.

But definitely the big brick. Anything Stofer's frozen is fucking something else. I don't know what they're putting it. Let's do this. Something we haven't done in a minute. Sure. Chocolate milk. Yes.

Growing up. Yes. Pre-made. No. Syrup. Syrup. What would you get? Hershey's.

Nice. Yep. Final question. Mm-hmm. What do you put in first, the milk or the syrup? Don't let me down, Kate. Oh my God. I know what I do, but I don't want to let you down.

Tell me. Here's what I do. I put the milk in first. You're blushing right now. I know. It's making me nervous. Because I feel like you're a guy who's like, I know my chocolate milk, and I don't want to be wrong.

I put the milk in, I start swirling it already, and then I pour the chocolate into it so it swirls as I go. Holy shit. The boys random applause for that. Thank you. Wow. I know. I like to watch it get something.

We've never had that, I don't think. Yeah. That's like how you would make it if you worked at a malt shop, you know what I mean? Get it going. I think it's serious. I think I'm garbage. I put the syrup in first. Yeah.

Because I want to see it. I don't like it when you get to the bottom of it then though. It's like too much. Too much. That's why you have the long iced tea spoon to scoop up the hardened. I mean dude, if you're buying other utensils for your chocolate milk, you didn't have iced tea spoons? I'm sorry.

You're living a bad life, dude. Nobody had iced tea spoons. I'm the asshole. I don't even know what the fucking iced tea, I'm 33 years old. They're like long teaspoons for iced tea glasses. I don't know, some restaurant had on my mom's phone. My mom stole a bunch once. Your mom's not class enough to buy separate spoons for her iced tea.

Or make iced tea. By the way, she's making powdered iced tea. Yeah, we were a crystal light family. Same year. Powdered iced tea. Yeah. Every once in a while she'd break out the suntee apparatus. Which sucked as a kid.

Zero sugar. What's the suntee apparatus? It's like a glass pitcher that you put out in the sun with a bunch of teabags and some water wipes. That was weird shit. No, you guys ever do that? Suntee? No, I've never heard of that.

Somebody backed me up on this with an email or something. I was a green pitcher with the powdered milk in there, or the powdered fucking iced tea. Would you leave the wooden spoon in there to stir it every time? Leave the wooden spoon in there? What are you talking about? Like the spoon that you would stir the iced tea with, we used to leave it in the pitcher so that when you got it out, you could freshen it up by stirring it a couple of times. There's no way that's passing a fucking health inspection.

Right. You can't be leaving a wooden spoon in your drink. I'm not running a breadwinner. I'm not running a breadwinner. It's fucking the poorest culture trap. Yeah. You're a fear family. You gotta mix the sugar up a little bit.

All right. I think I only got one or two more here. Do you put the ketchup out at Thanksgiving dinner? No. Yeah. For what? Exactly. I don't know.

My cousin does it. Oh. Yeah. I don't know. Keep an eye on this guy. Oh my God. I've never seen it or heard of it my whole life. And then this down the, you're down the shore and somebody was like, this is what she does.

And I was like, oh my God. No. Uh-uh. Don't do that. Also, too, somebody wrote in to have you ever had chicken for Thanksgiving. Get your fucking shit together. You don't have a big enough place to have Thanksgiving if you're serving chicken. That's sad.

With a little ketchup on it. He had stuff. Have you ever had, as a family, do you ever remember having a whole turkey on any other day but Thanksgiving? No. That's real trash. Yeah. Never.

Yeah. Because you know what? My mom's been breaking out a lot since I've been going back and fortune the burbs? Turkey, London, broil. Have you ever heard of this? No. It goes great with a sun tea. It's a fucking, it looks like steak, but it's turkey.

It sucks. Dude. What? Tell her to watch Emeril Live or something. Fucking spice it up a bit. She makes a good meatloaf though, I'll tell you that. Pretty good on the eggplant and the parm. Okay, I got two more here.

Are you a twisted tea or a hard seltzer kind of gal? Twisted tea. Yeah. Twisted tea lights with a floater on top? Yeah. All day. Listen, tell them what a floater is. You put, I get fucking mine.

You dump liquor on the top of it so it's floating at the top. Where are you getting this? Down the Jersey Shore. Mostly is where I do it. You get a floater. And bars and filly area. Did you know, there was a study, twisted tea light, Philadelphia is like, that area is the number one seller.

Number one market? Twisted tea lights. I could imagine dude. Do tea lights on the beach? It's the best. Fucking tea them up all day long. Do you drink white claws or anything like that? We just went over this.

Hard seltzers. Oh, hard seltzers, okay. Yeah, more of a twisted tea. Okay, fair enough. Did you drink milk with dinner growing up? Yes, always. Always. Always.

You still do it? Every now and then. I know, I know, I know. Milk with spaghetti? Every now and then. Sometimes. Yeah, she's trash everybody. That's it.

Wrap it up, take down the lights, move the table. Milk and garlic bread. Oh, so good. It evens it all out. Texas toast. Yes. Oh man, there's nothing fucking better than a nice cold glass. I think that's the nail on the coffin for me.

Do you often have breakfast for dinner growing up or no? Yes. Wow. Who would cook at your mom or your dad? Mom always cooks. Wow. It was hamburger helper breakfast for dinner or like, she called it goop, but it was just elbow macaroni with spaghetti sauce in it, it was like special.

Dude, we started this thing out at a certain point. I'm sitting there, I'm like, we're never going to get to her. And then she starts talking about fighting cops. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, the dad crying was a real turning point in this story. I'll tell you that. I did.

Goop. I did it in the military after I saw the first tear roll down his face. I was like, I better redeem myself. Yeah. Oh, man. Holy shit. Huh. I got to go garbage.

100%. I did it. 100%. Great job, man. Yeah. I was starting to feel good. And then I think your childhood seemed pretty tight. Yeah.

You guys, your parents ran a tight ship, but then when you got in charge, it kind of fucking spiraled out a little bit. That's been the trend ever since. The hamburger helper though, that came out, the breakfast at dinner. Yeah. Would you guys eat at the table mostly or sometimes would you eat in the living room? We're a table. We're big table people.

Okay. TV on? Simpsons, always. Yeah. Always the Simpsons. You're watching the Simpsons at family dinner. Come on. That's no good.

Yeah. Your parents would watch that? It would just be on. Just love that homer. Yeah. Yeah. Woo. Okay, man.

100% garbage right there. Yeah. All right. That was awesome. Thank you so much. Has anyone been not garbage? I've been listening. Seems like everybody's trash, right?

For the most part. For the most part, we had a couple. We just had somebody in Karen Feehan that wasn't. Oh, yeah. A couple other comedians that weren't, but typically, yeah. The bars look for comedic people. You should feel great. Listen, what you just described is a great childhood, a great fucking college experience,

and a great way to be. The garbage is something that we should, that we embrace on this. All right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I love it. 100%.

Thank you so much. Anything you want the folks out there to know? Where can they find you? Where can they see you? Zero Block 30. It's podcast military oriented, but it's just light and fun. It's awesome. And it's for everybody, whether you served or not.

It's just twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays. It comes out on iTunes or wherever you can find podcasts. I'm just trying to keep it funny. That's it. And then SiriusXM, four to five p.m. Monday through Friday. Very nice. And yeah. It's pretty much it.

Buddy, thank you so much. You loved having you. Kippy, what do you got for him? As always, just make sure you rate with you subscribe on iTunes, on YouTube as well. And if you want to join Gas Digital to get all the perks there, go to GasDigitalNetwork.com. Use promo code AYG. You save a couple of bucks and we make a couple of bucks. Yes.

I want to push that even further. If you're going for Gas Digital, you get to watch the episode in HD quality. You get to be in the fucking live chat going back and forth with me and Kippy. And we're going to have a lot of great extra content coming down the line. We want you guys to all be a part of it. Add H. Foley and Ice on Twitter, Foley Grams on Instagram. What an episode. Yeah, it was great.

Thank you so much. Absolutely fantastic. So much fun. If you guys sign up for it, my dad will come DJ one of your parties. That would be awesome. Yeah. If we could get your old man to DJ the Christmas party. You could do the Christmas party.

That's good stuff. Thank you so much. We love you guys and we will see you next week. Peace. Peace.