Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Kelly Keegs: Barstool Boozer

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with Kelly Keegs! They talk trashy drinking, college, and shopping at outlets and growing up in New Jersey. Its a fun one!  Live shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://GetRoman.com/Garbage https://Stereo.com/kevinryan Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is our you garbage to show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we found out they grew up classy or is it just a big old piece of trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day we're down here at Aunt Toody's basement she's getting excited for Easter you know she's a hardcore Catholic she already started to do the

eggs hiding the eggs around the house okay but she doesn't use eggs she uses those little airplane bottles of Golden Slogger oh nice and we usually find them in her room so my co-host is coming at you from right next to me he is the CEO of are you garbage he's really an international business man when it really comes down to it he is the proud odor of a brand new pre-owned Kia no not pre-owned brand new 21 21 it's a 2021 baby and check the books T-bone we're doing all right over here guys moving merch give it up for Kevin James Ryan everybody gang thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you

rate review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and those numbers are true to roof fucking cooking on YouTube baby let's go and then obviously patreon.com you can sign up to get premium content bonus episodes of AYG yeah which people are hit me up they didn't know their episodes to just live on patreon we don't release those anywhere else so yeah I had people aren't sure what's going on so you go there you get hard feelings you can get live streams where we play with AYG with you guys it's a good fucking time good time get involved baby thank you kippy and have a nice shout out to our producer

extraordinaire the pride of the Chicago comedy scene he works the ones and to the magic man he makes us all look pretty give it up for T-bone McMuffin Toby McMuffin what up team we are turning into morning more and more as we go on calling to get those Van Halen tickets kids we got a bank full of drops I got my finger on the trigger it's forget we're just becoming characters of ourselves it is what it is in gang we could not be more excited and I mean that we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today she's an extremely funny podcaster and blogger she's one of the

stars over there at the barstool sports universe and of course the co-host of because we got high but the big question what is mine today is she garbage looks very classy yeah but I can't get a read she carries herself well does she does it is smoke and mirrors gentlemen I will tell you that right now and can I say also that was a fantastic intro wonderful thank you so much activated smiling ear to ear so much so that like my cheeks hurt now cuz I was smiling too much that was great ladies and gentlemen that's Kelly Keeks give it here I am what's this yeah this is well we've had other but we've had a good

amount of barstool people in here at this point yeah I've been hearing that or 10 I don't even know how many I watched the Friday Night Pines you guys were on a couple weeks ago and I know that you kind of went down the list of people they talked to and that majority of people are garbage everybody was going to join yeah I think you're gonna fall in there I think so I know I thought this would be an interesting one too now the more I think about it the more fun it seems give us the whole backstory give us the origin story of Kelly Keeks first of all is that your Keegan is my last name so yeah just

Irish as fuck why not but Keeks Keeks is a name that my mom used to always have written on like the side of her nursing school books like as if to like you know so nobody would take them I guess I don't know and I always thought it was cool like who keeks and then apparently that was like also my dad's nickname and then once in gym class and like the second grade my teacher said like Kelly Keeks offhandedly and I it just kind of stuck through so that was your nickname all through not not forever but it kind of like as I got older it started being like oh Kelly Keeks and then now on the internet yeah it's firmly stuck on the

internet yeah yeah it worked out for me I didn't have to like make it up for myself yeah but Keegan's good too Keegan is good too I've got one of those names that people they say your full name all the time it's double K's or like double names like a super heroine Peter Parker they always say your full fucking name I get Kevin Ryan all the time hey what's up Kevin Ryan every time every time I'm never never Kelly always Kelly Keegan what's your middle name and so fucking and with an E and with an E so Irish so far I'm Kevin James Patrick Ryan damn damn it's a tough one my brother is my brother is Samuel Joseph Keegan that's

his pretty yeah we're Irish and Polish that's our mix that name comes with the cow I was a Polish isn't a great man no it's not a little bit of Russian a little bit of it's a nightmare that's from my nanoside she's always like all the Russians like she'll talk about man especially after dinner a couple of drinks yeah nice argument in the kitchen got a little bit forget it so where did you grow up yeah so yeah I did yes I did in Jersey I grew up in North Plainfield which I don't know if that's like central it's like central yeah I want to say pretty it's seedy area it's

not so much now I would I was born 1990 is when I was born and my parents had a little house on Sanford Avenue in North Plainfield and I went to St. Joseph's Catholic School which is right around the corner because it was the only place I could go that was like okay everything all the public school system was like too much crime and like too much stuff so I could only go to this one place and I was there from kindergarten through second grade and I think I was brainwash there that's the thing I've now started saying I think that I was brainwash are you crazy yeah I think that that's that's what happened there that's

Catholic school yeah shit was weird and so I grew up there but then in the third grade we moved out to Flemington, New Jersey which is very familiar with yeah which is like bump those are the outlets the set outlets that we thought about before fucking Liberty Village my brother my brother out to the Polo my brother worked at Polo forever Liberty Village premium outlets anybody needs to roll through there was a lot that was like an event there was also a school bat or like a luggage place that's probably still there Burlington Co factory no no just like this standalone luggage Flemington department store

there's several several it's a fucking though it's a would you guys go would your family go since you live out there would you guys go to the outlets yeah I mean that was like where we shopped if we weren't going to the mall it would depend on what we would go for we'd go there for certain things like we would always go for J crew obviously cuz I just pretended I was rich and so I would shop discount J crew like that's why I was at the Polo store yeah so I would do that and then Polo for sure I think like Brooks Brothers was also there I'd maybe buy like a bracelet and be like it's Brooks Brothers I gotta get they

were nice like the car yeah it was like they were like the nice outlet everything was painted white and it was like a little campus yeah yeah it's cute in there but it's but it was definitely like not people who went there definitely thought they were richer than they are just that kind of shit I was pulling up in my 96 Chevy a little bit yeah yeah but the outlets were in a thing like when I was when I was younger I don't know when we started going there but when I was younger it was always the mall Bridgewater Mall was the only place we went to and it was like we lived our lives in Spencer's of course Claire's

first maybe if depending on the group of girls I was with and then we would like go to Spencer's look laugh at the sex toys and then go like creep around outside the movies as long as we could yeah that was our that was our shit that was some shit I just didn't know if you guys didn't go to the outlets like people who like live in Vegas who don't go to the casinos I mean I mean I mean I mean I was a pilgrim well the town is so small that it's like it's it's just it's practical shopping like it's not there's not a lot going on out of Flemington what sucks about the outlets especially with the family discount you're losing

money not oh my god well my brother's working at polo every Christmas the entire time it was just like polo out the ass my brother was like yeah like Merry Christmas to fucking everybody and it was fantastic that's awesome we never thought to do that shit to get somebody on the inside oh yeah no no dude I really tell me story once about the polo outlet that they used to like train them ahead of time to kind of recognize who the people were buying in bulk people who seemed to be just coming through and then gonna probably go to Canal Street or something here and and they would come in and they would just

buy like 15 of the same shirt and like different sizes and stuff like that my brother who I think at the time was like 18 was just like excuse me I don't know what I could do about this you're not allowed to like outright say it so you have to be like are you sure you want all these sizes like you have to be like you can't you can't just accuse them yeah but that was a huge problem he said especially on like which we'll call it Black Friday Black Friday at the outlets well let me ask you what do they care I guess it's it's because the resale shit yeah probably corporate cares like yeah yeah some 18-year-old kid he's supposed

to be the first on the defense yeah yeah he was some kid from Flamington take him out literally tough very very tough for him but no the the outlet thing was not it was never weird for us to go like I also didn't think about them as we would say like we're going to the outlets but not in the way yeah it was always like oh we're going to J crew like I'm headed to J crew and it was always assumed it's going it's the outlets and that wasn't headquarters it was like oh are we going to the mall are we going to the outlets like it's what we're right in the middle of both got you I thought it was fancy that's how I

guess we're trash so did we not that I would like brag yeah it felt fancy at the time because there's like a little coffee shop in there like if there's a Nike store those are 70 those are the nice ones and we sell we're going to hold on that like cotton tie other ones were yeah you know there was there was there are a couple of jewelers in there I think like a Roman jewelers maybe I be I think I got a watch like link taken out there one time thought I was a billionaire not buying anything just having to be like oh um like would you mind taking care of this still ask her a box in a bag of course of course I tell

you what if those nice places though you do feel like a better person when you're walking out with like because their bags are nicer yeah it's like thicker you know it's not it's not just the regular sure it's not gonna rip on the bag you know it's no brown bag in here it's like a little bit thicker like canvas I went to Lugers on Sunday and they're in there to go back I've been walking around with that for fucking four days like a tote bag like my new purse like carry my shit around yeah I'm hitting a beach with that 100% don't throw that shit away never I would never oh my god I have so many bags that are

sitting in my house right now that are like too nice to throw away I have tote bags out the ass and I wish that I I started throwing them out as of recent just yeah I'm a big fan of the new the whole you have to grocery store those bags they give you now yeah yeah those like those like reusable plastic back they're like literal bags you can like pack your lunch dude they're like a dollar I get them every time we're just gonna be careless with them don't people realize crazy to is that like I know Trader Joe specifically like you have to buy that bag though it's like a dollar or something and I always for

sure but I love it oh which do you want I'm like wow now it's not I can like pick something out we all know this is a traitor back yeah we all know Trader Joe's is like the Whole Foods outlet yeah yeah so much bear but it's like the factory out yes do it right though man yeah they got some they're great with the shit that they mix up themselves like they're pre-made stuff yeah yeah I've never even seen that before it's fantastic they have either salsa's good they have their own salsas and shit they kill it what did your so what's your mom and dad do okay so my mom when I was growing up she was going

to nursing school and she is now like a nurse practitioner at the ER in Bloomington nice and she's like studying to get her doctorate I'm like bitchering this but that's definitely what she's doing she's in school for like I think the entire time I've known her like she's always been like trying to just she's always been doing something and getting some other degree and like expanding her education so she can like get promoted at work about pops my dad is something yeah that is always been involved in he was like an accounting major and then he's always been involved in insurance he worked for Blue Cross

Blue Shield for a long time okay and and then he moved to this other place called Extensis which I have no idea what it even is about just like shit that I'm like I don't know what this is yeah but also neither does he like he has no idea what this is dude a place called Extensis no one is up to something nobody knows what they're what that's up to and then and then now he like manages benefits through like a company that is in Bloomington and it helps out like insurance for other businesses and things that's like what he does white collar yeah white collar guy does well a couple of bucks would you guys say you grew up

with a little bit of cash or not at first definitely definitely now later in years for sure once my brother and I are seven years apart and so the first like seven years no not so much you know probably not but then once we moved to Bloomington it became a little it was a little different so they both came from Hubble beginnings as well very much so yeah gotcha I would say pretty cool okay okay you grew up in a single-family home I assume out there yes suburban house yeah so let's say the North Plainfield house was like more of a townhouse she says things very classy I know you're very well trained I am so well it's

it's banana I watch I'm trying to figure yeah movies that I've watched like learn how this idea like I'm a super OCD kid like I was like I never want to talk about the Bronx again this millionaire like I'm serious trying to marry a senator truly truly North Plain but no so I'm trying to think like exactly what so that house was it was definitely like a there was two bedroom upstairs but my parents first lived up there and I was in this like side room which was a bedroom but in retrospect it I don't even like it wasn't a better it wasn't about it was definitely something else the roof a little lower and then my parents like

put an addition on the house which was just like a living room basically and once that happened my brother was born and he moved into the tiny room that I was in I moved into the room that they had which was also upstairs which was a similar slant situation but definitely bigger like that was probably the biggest room I ever had like I was it was most of the top of the house seems crazy but like I had my own like it had like a carpet I like fit a whole bed in it compared to what I was sleeping in the floor sleeping in my hop this is where's your parents go where their room they moved their room downstairs into

this like side yeah yeah yeah yeah I know but they moved it to this like the side room it used to be like the den and then it became their room and it's garbage and it's and that was their thing the first floor bed and I like and I can't really remember like ever going in there once they did that like I was always in there when it was upstairs that's like what is this room and we had this like addition and that's where and then it was just the living room and an office and my dad like put all this shit in the office and then like my mom was always studying or working nights or something and I just that was it I if I

were to draw the house and like know the square footage I don't I think it'd be like very small so I always think like it was kind of a townhouse and then my brother was born like I said and all that you know we just kind of crammed in there and we moved to our new house which we my parents still live in we still live now and that house is was exponentially bigger like we just the house itself isn't so big we live on like three acres flat it's just flat though like nothing there's nothing we didn't like put a pool in we didn't do anything like it's just flat as fuck we've had that but that's a tough look

three acres of no pool yeah it's bad you have a trampoline or something we how about a fully pond after like years of me begging for a trampoline we got a trampoline and it's it obviously crashed through because the snow we left it now it's gone but what we had on our backyard we had a fire pit my dad built that not too shabby that I think we used it maybe like once or twice a year during the summer possibly and then a swing set also that was like half a mile away like it was near the woods put it like all my dad was like I'll put it over here like for the kids and it's like if I went out to the swing set by parents like I

could have been kidnapped like they would never call when you get there wait hold on this three acres when you say it's it's it's it's a grass is it like it's grass just looks like a huge one big plot of land my house is in the middle and that's it and then that's so then there's woods behind and there's woods behind it yeah what trampoline have the protective netting on it only because my mom was a nurse like the only way we'll get it she's like cuz I've seen every single kid cracked her fucking head open on the side of the trampoline I didn't want the net either though I was like I'm gonna bounce my

friends off the trampoline and I was like would she actually say it like that was that yes did your mom curse um she would curse when she was really mad she curses more now because I'm trash now she's like curses more now but yeah as a kid no okay no I was not a lot to curse as a kid but I would like I would anyway I'll tell you a funny story once I was playing hot potato with my parents and we it was just like my parents also I think back drank a lot more than I they always been drinkers but I I think of them now and how they drink now and I drink with them and I'm like oh yeah we're fucked up and I'm like no they've

been drinking this whole time like this always and so when I think about these stories I'm thinking of when I'm younger I'm like oh no you were drunk fucked up fucked up so we're playing hot potato which I don't you guys know it's like it's just like the hot potato basically from Toy Story looks like it and you squeeze it and you toss it back and forth and then eventually it gets in your hand you don't want to ah hot potato you don't want to yeah you don't want to get you don't want to get stuck with it is it hot no no no it's just like makes noise what are you hungry can I get sour cream on it yeah it's weird but it's

stressful so you like do the whole thing and I was like an anxious kid no no idea why and so I'm throwing it around and I kept losing and I was I want to say like five or six yeah and I lost at one point I was like god damn it like in front of both my parents and like record scratch they're like what did you say like spanked sense my room whole thing and then I had to write out on paper three different pieces of paper college rules my mom fact got it from like her school shit maybe right like I will never curse I will always clean my room like I will always do this and at first I tried to do it like big space

like I try to do it big overall three and I got reamed out for that had to redo it it was like a crazy punishment for saying god damn it so no I never like I never am they want a tight chip yeah but then but then my brother yeah I was the youngest and it was like by that point my brother had blown through every fucking rule oh yeah as long as the cops don't bring me home I'm alright exactly yeah that was basically me yeah that was a good thing about having a ADD when you were a kid I never got those kind of punishments like see that's nice my parents like they didn't my brother has all that shit now

my parents were just me were like snap out of it yeah like what are you doing I also love how you were like changing the font like it was a term paper like making a 12.5 times the Roman double-spade yes which in retrospect again my parents are probably like this asshole like we're trying to like punish this bitch and I'm like yeah taking shortcuts yeah I learned that from you know let me ask you something folks if you had a hole in your water bed would you let it just leak or would you fix it yeah put a patch on that thing that's right you put a patch on that thing but a lot of people all right a lot of gentlemen when

they have trouble in the bedroom they ignore the problem sure but you don't got to do that anymore if you got something going on and you needed fixed go to our friends at Roman if you go to get roman.com garbage you can handle this problem right now in the privacy of your own home yeah guys it's the way to do it you can go get a free online evaluation and ongoing care for ED all from the comfort and privacy of your home baby what what it's it's a no-brainer at this point a US licensed health care professional will work with you to find the best treatment plan for you tailored directly for you if medications

appropriate it'll ship right to your door free two-day shipping out the door forget about it privately the whole process is very straightforward very discreet very easy nobody's got to know it can be our little secret you know take care of your ED without ever leaving your home complete an online visit today and connect with a health care professional to help you take care of it go to get roman.com slash garbage yep slash garbage baby and you'll get 15% off your fifth I'm sorry correction $15 off your first month whoa forget a percent baby we're talking cold money age 15 bucks off your first month it's

really time to take care of your ED and remember get started today and you'll save 15 clams off your first ED treatment go to get roman.com slash garbage folks real quick want to talk to you about the good time that old uncle Hank in the Kip Kip Kipperino are having there on the stereo app usually every Thursdays at 9 o'clock come join us for a good time yeah guys if you don't know by now get involved it's a good time go to www.stereo slash.com slash Kevin Ryan or slash H Foley the link's gonna be in the description easy peasy you click up what you click you sign up we get to wet our beaks a little bit it's a good time

we hang out we have a couple of beers we answer your questions live on the show your garbage questions it's like an after-party to the actual episode so sign up in the link today now back to the show all right let's get in a little water your garbage here what do you say Kippy let's do it let's start with some of the basics now what was the name of the street that the first house was on she said Samford Avenue one 190 Samford Avenue which sounds great sounds classy yeah but I wish you could like Google Earth it like it was I don't know why it was it was called that but yeah yeah probably not you don't want to

come yeah that house doesn't exist anymore I don't know where that is now okay what did you get on your SATs oh my god I have no fucking idea yes you do no I really don't because it was bad like it was I don't know if I want to say 1350 but I don't but I don't know I was out of 2400 I think so yeah yeah yeah you're younger than me you're a few years younger because I remember thinking I remember thinking like oh I know my shit but then then I did yeah 1300 out of that is not good it's bad yeah it was all English stuff like it was like math I basically failed the entire thing and it was just English and writing was the

only they got you through what about your GPA was your GPA GPA was always like mid-twos like covering around there anything math related like and science related fucked me up I am not I am bad with numbers like I see them and I'm like I can't fucking do it right there I want to say like I like it I think maybe maybe applying for colleges I might have like kicked it up just enough to like a two nine or three I really pushed it and like tried really hard and then I got into school and did you go to the school you wanted to go to I went to I applied to two schools the first school that I applied to was high point where I

did end up going only because we visited it my parents liked it a lot and they like I found out later let in a lot of kids who baby didn't have great great school high point University it's a it's a joke school it's a joke school it's a joke school out of how hot it's in trouble right now it's in trouble right now it's a joke school masquerading as like a fancy school and that's what people like forget but it's full of like country club kids who's who's like we're parents into thinking like oh this is a higher education me I was like this place I can like dick around all day long my parents also recognize that and

like I and like let me go I don't know how they probably shouldn't have I definitely didn't really get a high point I've never even heard of that it's like it's in North Carolina yeah it's in North Carolina they're in trouble right now because it's technically like they're calling it a luxury school at this moment because there's like a steakhouse at the school and again imagine my ass this is a shopping center what's a no it's crazy it's crazy because the campus has a steakhouse and I just pretended I just was like oh this is normal like none of it was normal I was someone I wasn't for four years and that's why I

am I heard there's a really good Texas Roadhouse and Notre Dame high point high point the town is like awful like high point the town is terrible now it's better because of the University but like the reason there's a steakhouse on campus is because the steakhouse they try to plop it in the middle of the city and it would just get like looted every night so they'd be like all right let's we'll buy your steakhouse if we can put it inside one of our things and then they taught us like etiquette lessons at the steakhouse like I learned what an amuse-bouche was at the steakhouse the fuck is that why did you

go there why were you at the steakhouse it was an intro course yeah it was like no because it was the thing we could go every week you can go once a week for a meal swipe like you could go but you had to make reservations you had to like dress up fancy don't like taught you how to be fancy like that's that's literally I'm your cafeteria card worked at the steakhouse once a week yes what's good wasn't it was a magic meal it was called I'm not kidding magic what was like a piece of steak what'd you get a steak and like a potato you obviously you come into the amuse-bouche which is a

little taste for your palate it gets your get your glands moving we know what an amuse-bouche is hey don't spread some bombs we found on the street sounds like a linebacker for the equals and then and then you would get an app does really and then you would get an appetizer an appetizer which could be like tomato basil soup or like something along those lines and then you would get your main course I always got like a fucking filet with you know you're like Leo on the departed she walks in both words yes very much so and then it'd be like you know garlic mashed potatoes and whatever and then a dessert you get

like the molten lava cake or like a cheesecake with chocolate or raspberry drizzle or both if you're feeling crazy like it was just me playing pretend for years like I was a rich person that's pretty sweet though man you do that it was awesome was tuition there tuition was like like 40 grand a year yeah it was a lot it was a lot and I to this day I don't know how my parents did I know my mom was working like three jobs at the time and like my dad was you know just doing the same thing like just trying to do whatever and the fact that my brother and I are far apart I think that helps right they only were like yeah and I

yeah and when I went to when we moved to Flamington I was in public school so it was like you know I was public school from third grade till graduation so it was kind of a I don't know I still can't get over the fucking steakhouse the steakhouse thing is that I always tell that part of it like the whole place is absurd like if you look it up online they were just in trouble a couple weeks ago because people are like this place is excessive and unnecessary and they and it makes it like it's too exclusive not enough people are let in and they're like yeah because it's bullshit like they're basically like it's a school to

learn how to be fancy like you got to pay for it if you don't want to pay for it then it doesn't matter who you are like your background but like that's the whole point that's fantastic so I think that I think I low-key my parents sent me there to like be fancy luxury university but your mom were three jobs to get you there has steakhouse in it brother worked at an outlet store other work at an outlet we're all over the place I worked at a jewelry store in my town like a local jewelry store it was like a friend on Main Street I started at 16 worked through my work through graduation before that I babysat a lot like a nanny

that was the suburban suburban girl thing was yeah yeah yeah that all adds up okay but you got you kind of have you enjoy the finer things right very much so you're very when I you're very you're very you're very sure you're very calculated you're seeing me like we were we were like filming stuff today so it's like I dressed up the camera I took a shower today like so did we this is dressed up like before before this morning I hadn't showered since like I got off a flight of California on Tuesday and before that I hadn't like I hadn't showered since California so it's this morning so don't don't be fooled okay well you're

when it's game time you come yeah yes very much so yeah but that's a very interesting dichotomy it's weird the humble beginnings to yeah it's got some some weird shit what was the name of the grocery store that your mom went to when you were a kid oh ACME I know that ACME ACME yeah really it's like in Green Book or what I was talking Flemington Flemington no Flemington was it was first it was shop right and then it became stop and shop because it's like a little bit closer in Flemington but in North Plainfield it was ACME alright put the air conditioning units I've been on the roof I put the air conditioning units

on that shop right yeah that's how track we are what do you mean I can't get a free box I put the train unit on there you know who I'm with the shop right that that big that it was like the world-class shop right you know I'm talking about it's like off of 22 I know exactly I'm telling you I my family's company put the air conditioning units on that chopper that's amazing I was on the roof we would go there like it was like we were it was nice that was like that was like a premier one yeah we were we were also Kings my dad but I was gonna Kings or bishops they were closer because they're their trash also they're

they're bishops sounds pretty nice bishops always smells like sour milk no matter what it smells like sour fucking milk and I never heard of bishops though I don't know bishops is further up the road then it's like it goes world-class shop right that it was like oh my god and then it was Kings which was in its own little outlet that also had a right aid so we could double up there and then like a little bit further up was the bishops and I think that maybe their sliced meats are cheaper because that's the only place my dad goes like he goes nowhere but bishops and you refer to it as sliced meats

I don't know cold cuts cold cuts cold cuts yeah yeah cold cuts okay and she's garbage yeah yeah oh yeah I think I am like I think I'm only garbage because I have like because all of my underlying like tendencies come from my parents and they're a little bit garbage right now at me is a fucking top shelf grocery store is it but in the middle of the road no it's not garbage but they do it right yeah they know what they're deli counters fantastic you're gonna be in there with other animals but yeah you're getting a job done yeah it's like a B plus okay I like let's see if you're going to if you go out to eat you don't

take leftovers this is big this is a big one especially at the barstool universe this depends yes like 100% of the time yes it's mostly because of like guilt of not finishing it I'll be like oh no like of course of course I'll bring you don't want to insult anybody also I mean we just always were like told you got it like don't you don't you dare waste that wow like pack it up we're bringing it and then will you read eat it or will you throw it out well let's now as an adult now as an adult sometimes it depends on like if I'm you know hi later that night maybe I will but as a kid yeah might we would like

heat up leftovers be like oh leftover you know from whatever yeah yeah shout out the Apple yeah yeah Fridays Fridays knows the way around a fucking appetizer I could probably know I could probably if I back in the day I could list every single appetizer on the Fridays like we were we would crush love a fried the Jack Daniels chicken Jack Daniels chicken strips the like that the sampler with the onion they know they really do yeah I've never had a potato skin I was like a potato skin they package and you would do at home so we're fantastic they really were and we're so good because the spinach

archo tip they bring it home pretty good I get that from the freezer section a lot I'm feeling like I want some chips or something yeah yeah yeah it's falling out of her now I love it you're trash by the way we talked about it how stoked are you guys for fucking legal weed in New York like as we speak I feel it's on its way yeah something so we'll be able to go to like a shop I'll be able to go to a shop and get my eddies you should be not right away but it takes a little bit of time like they legalize it in New Jersey but there's nothing really happening yet in New Jersey that was like a couple months ago I think maybe six

I don't know how much time runs together time to get in the game yeah make some phone calls shine do you brush your teeth in the shower no no really you think I don't do I don't necessarily think it's trashy I think it's probably a good like time-saver I I just brush my teeth outside I said it very she said it very quickly yeah I just never had thought to bring it in there cuz then I gotta bring the toothpaste in there it seems like too much of a hassle I'd rather do like I'm a little bit a OCD or just a little bit you have a routine so it's not for gross reasons you don't think it's no it's just more so like I

I'm focused here on brushing my teeth and in here I am focused on the shower like I gotta wash my hair in here okay also brush my teeth but I can see how people think it's like a time saver it's trash though yeah one more one more big one that's been going around oh shit you get a bagel in New York City do you get a toasted or un-toasted most times un-toasted excellent I do un-toasted is that is that if it's a proper bagel yes I'll do toasted if it's like a Thomas bagel yeah yeah that's the standard that's the standard yeah yeah and that's like that's like how I grew up Thomas bagels yeah lenders we were a big

lenders oh yeah lenders did you guys do English muffins all the time I feel like English muffins are like I say English ones people are like what I'm like oh English muffin like a little bit of butter a little bit of jelly the cinnamon raisin English muffin I could eat the whole box I'm not a big fan they were just I don't know New York for a while they were doing some of the pubs on the Upper East Side were doing it was like a kind of a classy thing to do a burger on an English muffin which is fantastic I don't think I hate that they're so good yeah the English muffins are pretty small I think I might like that though

because sometimes the buns are like a little like a soft bun I can really bite into sometimes it's like a little yeah yeah yeah fantastic the right answer there yeah the shower don't not toast in a fresh bagel yeah leftovers said you don't see you'll take leftovers home I'll take leftovers home if I'm going I will say this I'm going right home I'll take the leftovers and I'll probably end up eating them myself when like growing up and stuff I we always would take leftovers like what about we got the dinner now you order a bottle of wine you don't finish it are you taking it with you that very much

depends on where I am it depends on where I am but most times I'm not I'm not leaving a bottle like I'm finishing the wine there's I don't think I'm I can't remember a scenario where I didn't finish the wine bottle and I like need to take it with me but I think that I would sooner no I would sooner pour it all of it in there and like chug it before I before I take it she's a fucking class yeah okay I can't do that money on the fucking table yeah no that's never waste I never like to waste not because I care about like the environment it's the guilt thing it's like I can't I can't believe I just spent all this money and

I'm wasting it I don't mind wasting food I have a very against wasting alcohol yeah I would throw a fucking I throw a fucking t-bone steak on the floor before I before I left a half a Miller light on the table for sure dude for sure that's kind of that's pretty fair yeah pretty fair hmm okay let's all right if you're going to the liquor store it's just you no one else and you're like I'm gonna make dinner I'm gonna order dinner whatever let whatever it is and you're going to buy a bottle of wine for yourself just for yourself okay what are you spending on that bottle of wine no more than $15 that's I think it's a

total ripoff most times I'll do somewhere between like 10 and 12 depends on the lower yeah yeah there are a couple of I'm like a wine person side there's a couple of wines that are pretty good that don't the hangover is what makes me want to spend a little more money I know my hangovers are so bad that I can't I can't live the other day we were we were taking around in Central Park and I was with a couple of younger girls who showed up with Sutter Home like Rose sure and I looked at it and I was like oh good memories but also like I'm gonna have a like a migraine just look yeah yeah so much sugar when's

the last time you drink wine out of a box probably not that long ago I'm not against like oh if it's there I'll drink it like whatever who cares now hold on that $15 bottle of wine you said would be for you what if you're going to somebody's house and you're bringing a bottle of wine I'll probably do about the same because I feel like a lot of people don't don't know I can just pull the pull the tag off take the label off okay unless they're like a wine snob person I'm gonna like yeah you're gonna match you're gonna match it for sure I also feel every time I've taken a bottle of wine somewhere they don't like open

like it's like they never do they're like oh thank you and they already had they're having people over say went out and bought five bottles exactly and everybody brings wine you know what I do what I do now I'm a part of this like I should I have I have like taken some back with me like if we didn't I've done that before but just as like a side thing like I'm just gonna let nobody took that grab wait what are we talking about the low the radar depends on like who it is like everybody talk about it if you if you're drinking a what if you take wine and you're drinking it and she doesn't finish it she'll say you go to

a friend's house you bring wine yes like say I bring a bottle of wine and maybe we don't open the bottle of wine that I brought but maybe we're drinking the same or something similar and there's a lot of shit around maybe I will bring that wine back with me like depending on the situation or maybe I didn't pull it out of my bag or like maybe we did open it and I and it's like we only had a sip and or I'm the only one drinking it that also actually happens more where I will bring something and I maybe want to drink that like I'm always bringing up prosecco or champagne that's my favorite thing because people want to drink it

fast pretty classy but then she's taking it home it kind of puts pressure on people to like because if you there's oh champagne now all of a sudden it's a celebration like let's drink this and I'm the one that wants to drink it so we'll open it I end up drinking the whole thing myself and nobody everybody's like switched to wine after one glass and I'm like well this is mine for the rest of things it's a little bit selfish and that way get back to this deal in the bottles of wine situation you'll do it on the low so you'll slide it in your bag yeah I've done that yeah so like there's a specific one called apothec

red that is super everybody like everybody knows that wine like it's just a random wine it's like a reasonable price and I think like three people had brought the same shit and I was like okay well we just fucking brought like we have so much stuff like I brought this nobody really saw me bring it like I kind of just like threw it on the thing and it was close to my thing and I kind of swiped it on the way out I mean I don't agree with it but I get it I'm proud of that move but when you're fucking broke like that I was super broke at the time and I was like it's breaking the bank for me to bring this

$12 bottle of wine to this place nobody's drinking it we're all they have enough like so much wine I get it you don't have to spend it I get it for them to have the wine in their home no no no no if I'm going to someone's house for dinner I'm not bringing them a bottle of wine for them to enjoy later yes you like what you're supposed to go to a party we're hanging out that's good yeah this is what I started doing so this is where this is where like being trash like being trash and being like fancy coincide I have signed up for this thing this like what it's like it's a wine club but it's not a fancy wine

club it's just like a cheap wine club and it's like $40 a month and it will auto take from your shit and then at a certain point they're like we owe you like you've been paying us for so long like we owe you like 20 bottles of wine so they'll send you all this wine and then I have it in my house so every time I leave I'm like oh whatever I'll just grab one of these grab one of these and it all boils down it ends up like being less expensive and I've always got wine on deck and so it's kind of like I don't have to go to the store now and think about anything like I'm being lazy and also smart at the same time what you're

stealing from the party yeah you're making out and I don't care about this wine so yeah yeah yeah yeah man I know this is a this is like a fucking game of tennis baby I'm so curious yeah I like don't really cuz I I know how I'm definitely trash I know that for sure but you guys they already are thinking I'm but you're like I belong to a wine club but then I also steal the one it's like it's every every question has a turn to it you know yeah man yeah let's see about this one kind of on the same path here have you ever been asked or anybody in your family at any time growing up if you've ever been asked to

leave a restaurant not a bar a restaurant not a bar it has to be dinner to leave a restaurant breakfast whatever fuck was your family getting into you said the never-ending pancakes means never ending I know that I've been we've been asked when I was younger it was like a like a family party at a restaurant does that count like a like a christening after like after a chris and you got that was asked to leave and it was a we were hanging out a little too long and it was like okay like it's time and people were drinking like too much yeah I've had those I've had those

words like you know what actually here's a there's a boss boy waiting there with a bid for you to leave yeah yeah and your uncle's telling the same story telling for 30 years you like one more time exactly the baby's long gone I assume hippies family's been kicked out of a baptism before the baby was dry yeah it's not not great here's a story that I'll tell you that I'm gonna I'm gonna like knock on it I hope my parents don't listen to this because my mom will not like this but we should have been kicked out my Grammy's funeral at the at the funeral my god this is like an awful story no worse we're not a

classy name for grandmother by the way no yeah I know that trust me I know that look she can't take those rings with me so whatever so she's chilling like yeah recipe she's chilling in the casket like hanging out and my that's the side of my family that's much bigger and there that's like more of like the Polish Irish side big drinkers and the dirt ball side yes yeah and so we're there and it's like my mom is all distraught like everything's happening I'm feeling like responsible for some shit cuz I'm one of the older like kids and I'm kind of next thing I know my uncle and a couple of his friends who were there and like

his wife and a bunch of their kids tailgating in the parking lot tailgating the parking lot and you'll gain yeah but have ease and we were they were just like out there you know just chief and six tailgating back coming in like coming in through sometimes like coming in like for a minute and going back out and I remember waiting at that moment yeah cuz it was like a wake it was a wake for at the funeral home so it was like literally yeah no I know they're like in the before the funeral right yeah or no yeah yeah yeah the day like the day okay morning before you're doing the view I would say the viewing is probably like

between you know noon and four like in that time sure drinking and viewing uh-huh and so I remember my dad my dad is like he comes in and he comes to me and he's like don't like point like make sure your mother doesn't like necessarily see that and I was like oh well she's gonna see it like they're screaming in the she's gonna see it they're throwing a football around like yeah hold on when you say uncle it's the son of the son of my deceased grandma holy her son yeah hey everybody mourns in their own way right right right you never know your mom's funeral I would slamming alcohol slamming alcohol and I was like alright

I remember whistling through the park yeah literally like I remember going out there playing baggo and now I'm curious my dad comes in my dad saw it he like went out there I remember coming like him telling me like keeping on low and I'm like why gotta see this so I'm out there kind of creeping around it's my cousins and shit and so I can't go up and I'm like what's happening here like oh we're just drinking like we're just drinking hanging out and they're talking about like like sports and whatever just completely taken away from the from the situation and I remember thinking to myself like I would

actually love a beer right now yeah but my mom will murder me if I roll back in like I just had a butt heavy with like you're sure you know I gotta make a while while run real right now she would murder me but yeah that was a that was a wild a wild thing to happen and we all just kind of act like it was no big deal we're like all right my mom eventually did find out and was like piss and thought it was trash but then after that we didn't we don't talk about it anymore I mean that was a crazy thing huh tell you getting the funeral let me ask yes do you remember where the luncheon was after the oh let's think I think it was at

because I assume people were like chimney rock let's see it was like a like a back room at chimney rock or something like which was kind of classy normally would have been at Charlie Browns which is in I don't know I feel like Charlie Browns is might be closed now but Charlie Browns was always the spot we went to after christening's and after Communion's and shit that was that was for the that was for the lemon chicken that we all got of course the Irish and Polish drunks are just getting I'll take oh 13 lemon chicken okay lemon chicken out the ass family's ordering the same thing is

garbage just family style lemon chicken mmm what are my grandma that we she got my her my aunt's house was right across the street oh shit because it was in it was in Port Richmond sure so it was right across the street and we just everybody it was like we kept making excuses to go over to my aunt's house because it was a huge thing we were like it's a couple hours you can't wait no it sucks to have a drink they were all in a fucking the back of a row home at Port Richmond fucking cranking burnies and drinking Coors lights all in like big baggy Steve Harvey out there oh my proud but what is what it is yeah yeah

a lot of weird shit oh do you sleep with the TV on almost exclusively do you sleep with a fan on you I used to but then it started like really drying me out so now it's humidifier okay it's classier it is but Jesus it gets everything soaking wet though the fire like you got to put a towel on the ground and make it go you know it's just that close to the bed like you it's on like my nightstand yeah oh yeah fuck it's like sleeping in the rain for dude he's kind of is yeah the TV on the fan one last thing I'm sorry the how many pillows oh I got a million pillows I used to I used to have like only two and

now I have I want to say six I think too many like too much I just feels like luxury something about more pillows I'm like oh here I am and all my pillows and I kind of set them up like I have to like going diagonal in to this way I have like the two smaller ones like all of it it's basically makes an arrow that I put my body in the middle and it's like I'm like the queen of my own castle like that's a situation wow shit ton of pillows yeah have you ever checked into a hotel and brought your own cooler almost like yeah I was like if I'm with my family a hundred percent of the time you'll check it in your

family will check my parents oh my dad has brought a cooler everywhere that we've ever I swear to God like I swear to God dude my dad brings a cooler everywhere we go because that's not I think to my mom will only drink Budweiser or only Budweiser or freshen a like the black bottle like champagne it's like it's $12 we know it's amazing I love it I mean I what you were she was looking at like you know we're talking about we're like yeah I was trying to process I couldn't get out the ass she will only drink those things so if they go to a place and my dad has now learned like if there isn't Bud heavy at the place you

gotta bring a cooler for her and then he'll like pack some course lights for himself but cuz he's a gentleman yeah you're my kind of guy he's not very picky so he'll do that but my mom she doesn't have like what she wants like she she'll like pout about it like she won't have she won't substitute it for anything else they don't even have Budweiser my first my first the first things I ever drank was like it was Budweiser Budweiser is like cans well actually no sorry sorry I should not lie cans with my friends bottles my mom exclusively okay your mom likes a bottle she likes bottles only she refuses

cans hey what man an ice-cold fucking Budweiser summer yeah it's delicious good night um what about vacations when you were a kid where would you guys go no where Jersey Shore almost like Jersey Shore Long Beach Island my grandparents live at classy yes which is nice they live on they live on a lake right right before the bridge so it's nice but when we would go it was always seaside or point pleasant and we don't know I don't know I don't know point pleasant that well but seasides fucking trash see they're nice to each other they're like they say point pleasant is a little more family friendly

but barely like it's got a boardwalk as well but yeah when we wouldn't do let's say we would go to the beach my parents always wake up start drinking once I was old enough to drink same yeah drinking eating then my dad would like wake me up or make me come with him to go pick out like a million of the shrimp like we'd go to the weird place on the corner whatever the fuck it was called like lasallas or something the seafood place yeah the seafood place pick up a bunch of shrimp because that's all my mom would eat she's like any other shrimp and but a shit ton of horseradish like more horseradish better yeah and and that's

just that's also now my taste I love shrimp with a shit ton of horseradish and my dad would sometimes get himself like a little bit of his own like white fish but it was always burgers and dogs like that's all we would eat for and potato salad background salad yeah what would you say would you guys rent a house or a hotel we would rent first we had stayed at a couple of hotels like early years but then we would always get like a like a house my dad discovered like verbo and that's what he uses exclusively now cool so the houses were always ended up being like kind of nice like good down the shore for a week

never Disney World Disneyland we went to I went to Disney World when I was seven my mom was like six months pregnant with my brother okay and it was my birthday and we went for three days and rained the whole time and my mom didn't go on any rides and so it was like basically the worst vacation that ever went on I remember bits and pieces had a good time that's the most the most we ever did and when they say when your brother says hey you never took me to Disney World they say actually you did go they say actually we did and then I my brother and I went to Disney World just the two of us seems weird cuz my parents didn't want to go

again they're like that place sucks I was did you drink at least I could my brother couldn't I'm trying to think how old I was maybe like 22 my brother seven years younger than me so I think you were 22 yeah and you took you took into Disney that's nice like you don't want to go like you guys go because I was like yeah I'll go back I had a good time I'd rather honestly go with my brother sure like do shit with me sure it ended up being fine but that's pretty that's a pretty awesome it was pretty awesome that's good when you're 15 year old brother at Disney World probably fucking great we had a really good

time yeah it was like a new parents like it was crazy but um but no my parents wanted nothing to do with it so easily they didn't know I don't even think when my parents like thought anything of it they're like yeah take them what I want to go pretty young to be responsible for sure I can't believe they trusted me like we say that we had like a hotel room or each of our two beds and we would just like like I got them up in the morning like we're going to the parks extra magic hours like I treated it like I was great I was that bitch she was the chaperone I was I was when you went with your parents did you

drive or did you fly we flew but we stayed in and I didn't realize that it was like you know how they have Disney has these resorts you only know if you like not well I think but they have these resorts that are like you didn't stay on the budget resorts like they're they are still a part of the grounds but they're like off a little bit yeah like the like the music spot and like this sports I know what you're talking about they're kind of like fringe they're not like the Grand Floridian or like the Beach Club or like those places it's the Bushley did you have to take a bus or something to get to yes yes every

morning and it was like as far away as possible we'd like wake up a little early get on the first stop on the bus yes yes you were going to Disney with like like all the nurses going to work and shit and like it was obviously you know I'm like grateful I went back and you're like damn okay that's what we are all right cool right outside the game your parents are like fuck yeah no they hit the right flying to Disney anything they never want to do anything and I'm like you guys it could be so much better than this you guys just like pick the cheapest thing and you're like oh let's just go do it and

then it sucks it's like obviously it sucks yeah that's funny man that's fantastic that's like we have a short my parents just go down the shore and all they do is down the shore and drink down the shore and drink they park the car and then never use that they park it when they get down there they start drinking and then they move it in four days or whatever my dad I think is yeah we just I don't know if he ever uses the car he likes to walk everywhere and he'll like get up and he'll just walk around the town as if he like lives there I don't like you know nobody knows you are here like everybody fucking knows you no one

knows you're here you're just buying like two pounds of shrimp and fucking two yeah exactly yeah it's crazy did you guys ever do any like long-distance driving vacations hmm I'm trying to think oh we drove one time down to the outer banks that was a that was a far drive it was my my parents friends got one of those houses where it's like five families in one house and we drove all the way down there and that was a big deal like we were like oh my god this is a crazy different you know just different beach different beers and trims but maybe 11 hours the other played rummy cube non-stop like I was I was at that

age I think at that point I was like maybe 13 or 14 and so my brother was too young to really play with and I was the only kid like my age were stuck at this house and I got like sun poisoning the first day and then nobody gave a shit about like what I was up to they all drank all night long my brother and like the younger kids played and I just kind of that sucks yeah yeah because the multiple family vacation though is completely garbage yeah is absolutely fantastic that's how I grew up every single summer was a was a multi-family vacation yeah yeah down down in Ocean City New Jersey oh there you go oh

it's a city oh dry town tough yeah stinks well we just cross the bridge yeah yeah and they weren't good they wouldn't they might this squad wouldn't want to go out to a restaurant and drink and pay those prices no they're gonna be doing that anyway they're gonna be loading up on booze and bringing over the bridge in the back deck anyhow we never went to restaurants on vacation I don't remember ever rarely always grill whatever's on the grill whatever was being made like grilled chicken even like anything whatever never we would do like one or two dinners maybe and there was a hundred percent chance that me

and my brother ruined every single one of those oh yeah 100% sure I'm sure spilling shit on the tables getting in the fights waiting in line for like an hour and a half for the question was I'm thinking back to the more restaurants was Ruby Tuesdays fancy for you guys Ruby Tuesdays to me like felt fancy as fuck like I was like that is when I was growing up like for sure I was like whoa Ruby fucking Tuesdays I don't know if fancy is the word but we didn't fuck with it because I don't think they were really around right there was a couple in the area okay but we we looked at that one as the overpriced one yes why are

we gonna go to Ruby Tuesdays and go to Applebee go to fucking Friday that was my dad's mindset yeah so much so that occasionally my brother and I would like go to Ruby Tuesdays let's go to Ruby Tuesdays yeah let's flex it up like let's get crazy oh in your younger days were you a fan of the salad bar um they were around yes actually only and I didn't even like like salad I just thought it was cool to like pick everything from the thing I was like wow this is my own choice like as many shrimps as I want I can put as much of my plate as I can fit but I was always stressed out that I wouldn't like fit everything I wanted I also don't

like I didn't I'm better about it now but I didn't like food touching so that was always a thing like a problem I'm right there with you yeah really yeah real yeah it sucks my my parents used to always give me shit like my dad is somebody who just like swirls it all around his plate oh yeah and yeah he doesn't seem to refine multiple I like multiple things on my phone yeah that's the same with him but so he would there was like a point in time where he was like I swear to God purposefully making me dinner plates and like putting it all together like he was doing it on purpose and handing it to me that way and so I

would just like eat in like in circles and he would be like you really are just not gonna just shove it on my daughter no I'm not like I don't care how much like grave you put on this spaghetti like I'm not gonna do it it's ridiculous holy shit the food not touching I get I got weird still still my there my dad gives me shit for it he's like you're an insane person I'm definitely better about it now but when I was a kid it was it was like a problem I knew a kid in elementary school that when he got his lunch he would eat each individual thing that's how we eat now like I'm Thanksgiving I eat like one at a time

what what are you a psycho I don't know what it is all rules are out the way no no hold on I eat like all the corn and I'll eat all the like I'll see all the corn first probably the cranberry sauce next and then maybe the stuffing then the turkey maybe I'll I'll sprinkle in some turkey while meeting those other things and I always save mashed potatoes for last Toby call the police do you have a soundproof room in your house no probably not my who knows maybe I haven't been there in a while that's bananas I duct tape their hands first I'm just waiting for like the day when I wake up and I'm like oh there's that like memory

ever press that made me this way I'm waiting for that day I've yet to find it but I'm I'm trying I'm smoking a lot of weed and I'm trying to get there I will I when I figure it out I will let you guys know because it's something deep and dark that's what I find it bananas yeah it's nuts I feel like I'm circling mine a little bit yeah you know to me I honestly am and it has something to do with this place that I we went to when I was a kid that was kind of like the YMCA yeah but it was like it was a Catholic youth center that we did like we do like this sounds shit I know what goes down there

they do a different kind of backstroke you know what my dad told me a story the other day that I completely forgot about I was calling him to ask him on our because we got high pockets we were talking about kids it was the K we each episode is corresponds with a letter of the alphabet and we pick three topics that are just without letter okay and the K episode had kids is one of the topics and we were just going off about like kids are annoying or like do you want kids and I called my dad to ask him how much Catholic school was when I had gone and he was like all back in the day like I was probably like like $500 a

month or $200 a month something like not so crazy and he was like but the reason it was so inexpensive is because I they said to me the Catholic school was like if you host bingo night for us a couple times a week we'll knock some off of your kids tuition so my dad was like of course because we're living wherever living yeah and he would bring me and it was just like old people smoking inside and my dad like calling bingo and I have memories of just sitting in like the basement of the church like go to the basement of the church and I'm sure he like loved it more than he let's on because he's one of those he'd be up

there like B H literally though and then they'd be like old ladies yelling at him from the audience we know you don't have it and then me sitting like also playing bingo I'm like H5 mr. Keeg's is doing crowd work I love it anything to anything to like fly me to the moon yes anything to get a deal that I used to do that with my great aunt I would go and sit and I would be with I would be with her why she played bingo with all the girls change smoking yeah of course yeah so much I know that I like I think that one day when eventually they cut me open my insides are black I'm gonna blame it on that instead of all the shit that I

did yeah yeah yeah I only got a couple more I mean I think we got her pretty dead to rights at the moment yeah she's gonna have to do a lot of a lot of work in the fourth quarter to get out of it yeah will you drink the coffee in a hotel room um I would if I like needed to like if I if I was wanting to I'm not I'm not a big coffee coffee drinker I you could have a million bucks I wouldn't like the instant coffee you mean I've like had it definitely yeah that's crazy they say not to do that sometimes it's like French vanilla flavor well it's the machine they say like people pee in the machine oh fuck yeah the water

sitting there in the tank when you walk in damn yeah that's what I'm saying no yeah I don't know I probably I'm thinking I have one specific instance where I know that I did that I was flown down to Atlanta Georgia one of the jobs I had to like do do a meeting made no sense for me to go like I don't know why they sent me there and so I was there and I was like I am on a business trip like it was my first time coffee here I am like I'm a business woman and there's like yeah there's like this shit coffee I was like I of course I have to have a cup of Joe before I head out on my day that's why definitely that was the time I had a

hotel coffee okay I will say also hotel food breakfast and stuff my dad is is a king of continental breakfast there is nothing oh it's fucking muffins you come on got your muffin always thanks dad always appreciate that muffin too and it's always like a corn muffin yeah it's not your brain muffin with raisins yeah great thanks cool thanks he leaves with a cooler full of chocolate your pancakes he's that though he's that the waffle maker just like fucking cooler you guys said that that was like a really I mean I get it doing it like if you're going to like what you know if you're visiting your friends in town college

funeral you know always yeah always a cooler maybe even there might even have been like cool cuts in there like it depends on the situation but yeah always man for sure that is a tough tough look when you think about it though it sounds pretty nice I wouldn't mind having a cooler in my car all the time before I went somewhere always pack a couple of drinks snack or two or something like that I think the mindset behind it is just like I know that my dad is someone specifically who like doesn't like to get ripped off and he knows that he can buy a six pack of Budweiser for a lot less and they're

selling them at the bar so he's like what do you mean like I would never you know makes I don't come to New York they my parents never visit me it's like it is a tooth and nail to get them to come here even if I'm like I'll like come in like I'll I got brunch like as long as you guys drive in it is literally pulling teeth to get them here because all my dad wants to talk about his own but Budweiser $11 bucks he also he also loves to know the I don't know why he knows this my parent neither my parents smoke but he knows the price of cigarettes just we could be like $20 pack of cigarettes in New York I'm like you don't even smoke

you never have my grandfather constantly asked every time I see him I could see him on a Tuesday and then I see him again on a Wednesday and every time he asked me how much they charge it for a beer for up there and I just lie I'm like 10 grand oh shit like he has no fucking love the absurdity of it they just they love to have their minds blown with how much like shit that's it like it's an older suburban guy big time big time that's beautiful all right I got maybe let's I got one more than I'll do a we'll do one for the patreon growing up for you Capri son or juice box family oh I want to say both Capri son Capri son

it was younger though yeah surfer cool Pacific cooler cooler one of them has mostly water in it one of those like a better one for you cuz my mom I don't think we're out when I was little my mom tried to pull that bullshit on the kids a couple summers ago I'd have put the kibosh on it like a 50-50 type thing yeah it's kids it's called what's one of the coolers it's either surfer cooler or the other yeah yeah they know we were Capri son but we also I had you who the juice box is out the ass that was a you who live in right now the Hershey's chocolate in the box too we're a big chocolate milk house we're a big milk

house this is another thing too that like whenever we gotta get well let's put the button okay okay we can ask you about the milk cuz I got a lot of stories let's go let's go right now milk was a I don't cuz my brother and I are both like thin we're small like whatever we always we look somehow that we were malnourished even though we weren't like we both look that way and we don't understand why but when we were younger it was whole milk all the time all milk red top milk for dinner milk for dinner to the point where if we didn't finish our milk we weren't allowed to leave the table so I and it's milk with spaghetti

milk with pizza whole milk in a glass like that's it I think back and I remember one specific time well right when we moved to Flemington my brother was still too young so I was sitting at the kitchen table and I was full of like spaghetti I was like I can't fucking put anything else in my stomach and my both my mom was probably working or something my dad is like he's like you gotta finish your milk like you got it you can't get off the table until you finish your milk and I was like I'm not gonna drink this milk and so I'm sitting there and like I would maybe a dinner at 6 o'clock 8 30 rolls around my dad my

dad had already shut the lights off in the kitchen like he was playing his own passive aggressive game and I was in third grade being like no I'm not gonna drink this fucking milk it's warm I saw like I would get to the point where I would like look at the edges around it be like there's like curdling I swear to God sure two hours out sitting there and my and then finally my dad would come in and be like just throw it in a garbage and like leave you know whatever be so pissed but yeah it's milk out the ass pretty good hold out if I buy milk now I buy I buy home milk still like I don't I'll maybe buy yeah you gotta go I rarely

use it if I use I'm using it for mac and cheese like I'm not really using it for much else did you enjoy it for with dinner did you like that if you had spaghetti and meatballs did you were like like and I didn't mind it I didn't mind it for a long time I think when it was like summertime I minded it more because it was like hot that's a bad choice it's like I don't want to hot a hot day hot spaghetti and also milk that's that's tough that was also with pizza I hated it with pizza but then sometimes I was able to to like finagle a little bit of soda like a galaxy soda with my pizza especially like a like a

party you know it was something like that but no pretty pretty heavy on the milk in the house did you always pack your lunch or was it was it brought at school um that was pretty much 50-50 depending on like my age and the laziness of my parents okay and like when I got older I never packed my lunch but um I know that when I was younger it was always like I would either get Peter Barangeli and like a banana or Peter Barangeli and like a like a little thing of those like famous Amos cookies like one of those I don't think we've ever been in the fucking hundred episodes I don't think famous Amos cookies

every year I don't know I don't have anybody with cash like oh my god famous it no famous Amos those little little snack you just I haven't heard the word famous Amos yeah 20 years same as Amos that was my shit and so I had a little bag the little bags that's what I would have a little cookies they were always perfect for cookies there was always a chocolate chip like right on the corner yeah they were never like they were chocolate chip cookies but one cookie had one chocolate chip that was a whole thing they're delicious yeah famous cookies wow okay Kelly keys coming up garbage yeah yeah how do you

feel you think so yeah I mean yeah what yeah I'm feeling it doesn't matter how many steakhouse cafeterias you went to figure it as much I'm trying to think of like again and that's not even like there are so many weird stories that I never think of until somebody brings shit up yeah I like stuff I don't think is weird like oh something I discovered today I love liverwurst the cold cut liverwurst and that's like something that we had growing up all time liverwurst honey mustard with red onion like on on the sandwich wow I don't even fuck with that always thought it was normal and then I was like an adult and I had a

boyfriend at the time and we were who lived in Hoboken we were ordering from Fiori's and we were like all great sandwiches or not Fiori's one of the other sub places ordered liverwurst and I was like I was like liverwurst I was like oh liverwurst sandwich with like all that and he looked at me like are you fucking serious and I was like I'm serious like order it trust me it gets a bad rap like whatever and I got it I got it I was like just try it everyone was like this is gross like what are you doing your house smells for like two weeks after that's like something you only eat because of a dare yeah so good

I like so good I like chick I like chicken livers I like pate I like all that then you would like liverwurst you would like liverwurst I know man I'm telling you the only reason I like you to that the only because that's one of the cold cuts we always had we always had liverwurst turkey and ham and roast beef that's not a cold cut that comes in a tube that you have to cut at the house true but no you can get it you get it my step dad it's a slice but they slice it with within the tube and so when you get the rappers on you have to pull the wrapper off of like each piece of liverwurst yeah oh yeah oh yeah it is

it's work it's work that is worth it that's what you eat when you get maroon yeah would they send you to school with that um no that is not something I have her I don't I don't think no I'm not sure I don't have any friends you would you would have remember pulling out a liverwurst sandwich in the lunch room yeah I really did buy lunch a lot now and think about I didn't make lunch a lot it was a lot of buying lunch and and just because you know like we get the meal card comes at you with famous Amos than liverwurst sandwiches yeah she knows wine yeah I'm like a yeah it's I think I mean you're for sure trash I'm

definitely trash but I'm doing a very good or I have now been doing a very good job pretending or yeah pretending I would say pretending pretending is for sure yeah like when I'm home for sure I'm definitely trash I another thing that I didn't think was trash until I said something recently is water bottles in general like having them in my house I always my house is just like a hundred percent water bottles like oh yeah like saving the environment like never it's a big thing case of water always like case of water case of water how many years you go through it was trashy yeah my mom like leaves him in the car too oh

always that's so bad for you that was the thing we're we're my dad but I was bitch I can't carry them in my mom does the same thing she's not gonna carry that up the stairs yeah yeah it's not good they get hot and then the cancer yeah yeah yeah that's always the thing all right I got one I got one from patreon guys so when you know you doing the patreon will ask your questions this is from cool Kevo ever mixed Mountain Dew with vodka oh yeah I like Mountain Dew also just good like I feel like it gets a bad rap like I know that I know that I know that I like literally glows in the dark but yeah

I like Mountain Dew wait shower coming on you Pringles but I didn't see all these things back here yeah this is everything we have Pringles 100% of the time in my house yeah you don't come to my house and there are easy cheese always there's some shit back here guess who I have a game literally my house right now yeah oh yeah your trash for sure big time man I love it it's like the princess diaries it's half and half yeah it's my half my life I got one more who's your mom's favorite musical act oh Barry Mantelow I would have to say that's not that's not trash she wants actually she has a she chased

Barry Mantelow never mind she loves this story she loves this story she saw him either they saw him I can't remember if they actually went to the concert or not but they like knew he was somewhere and she like saw him get into his limo with her friend and she was driving her like car chased him through Manhattan like probably the last time she was in New York literally my mom in the 80s chased him through and and like fucked up her car and like got in trouble when she got home it was a whole thing but she didn't get to see him like just chased him through the streets for no reason Barry Barry I got butt heavies in the cool of

Barry huge Barry Mantelow fan what a nap Kelly Keeks thank you so much this was absolutely fantastic thank you for having me yeah for sure yeah you roped the dope you roped the dope does in the beginning I was like I don't know where this is gonna go she's kind of classy this is that yeah you guys think I'm well-spoken whatever yeah that's just me repeating what I hear in movies yeah figure British accent it depends if no one's calling me out absolutely anything what folks are gonna know you got coming up nothing specific coming up just every every Thursday we have our because we got a high podcast comes out let's see it

just goes with the alphabet so that's why I said it's pretty fun we just put out the L episode today we're you know it's gonna go throughout the rest of the alphabet and then start right again super fun that on YouTube and for podcast YouTube we're like I fucking love YouTube man yeah YouTube is fantastic I watch I watch the shit out of some YouTube like regularly I never used to but now that it's just easy you know you put it up I started here whatever I'm watching it like nobody's fucking business like every day I'm watching it people listen in their cars and then play it through the speakers yeah yeah yeah

that's usually how I do it too if I listen to the snow potty yeah get me what you got for him just as always please make sure you rate view subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as we were just talking about and then patreon.com guys also live shows coming up we have Raleigh in North Carolina and then Zaini's Nashville April 21st get some fucking tics Raleigh's tickets are moving it's probably gonna sell out so get them soon Nashville let's fucking go fucking go you're barristan this out of here if you're in fucking Mississippi I don't even know if you're anywhere in the south get the Nash can be getting

calls from the coast every fucking two minutes at the tickets are moving I got the agents how yeah what the fuck make us look good April 21st gang we love you we'll see you next week oh hold on a second they're partners we go scurrying off out into the wild want to talk to you one more time about the fun time over there on the stereo app doesn't matter whether you have an apple or you have a android whatever you got sign up for free plenty of fantastic shows plus you got me and kippy chewing it up with you guys every Thursday nights around nine o'clock some yeah it's a good time guys come hang out

it's like a little exclusive VIP after-party it's free to sign up use the link in the description we get to what our beaks we look good to stereo with the win-win you get some free content we get a couple of bucks we'll see you there please