Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - KFC Barstool: New York Trash

Episode Date: August 27, 2020

KFC from Barstool Sports joins Kippy & Foley in this classic ep of AYG! KFC (Kevin Clancy) talks growing up in New York, T.G.I.Fridays, and wanting to be a tough guy. You know KFC from KFC Radio, Barstool Sports, Mailtime & We Gotta Believe. Support our Sponsors: https://dickatyourdoor.com and use the code Garbage for 15% off. Sign up for Gas Digital: www.GasdigitalNetwork.com - Promo code: AYG Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy. Just wanna thank you for tuning in to R U Garbage. Yeah guys, make sure you subscribe. That way you get the episode as they come out and you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com, use promo code AYG to get bonus content and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming. Do it.

Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Woo, baby. Hey everybody out there and welcome back

to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is R U Garbage to show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they're absolute trash. I'm your host H Foley, coming at you on a glorious day here in the East Village, New York City, gas digital studios. Let me fucking put the rumors to bed gang.

The city ain't fucking dead. I'll tell you that right now. We're taking the fucking city back starting today. I don't care who wrote it on bed. My co-host coming at you from right next to me, my old pal gang. Next time you reach for a best pal folks, make it a kippy. He tastes great.

He's less filling and he's easy on the eyes. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan everybody. And double the forehead everybody. Hey, what's up? Happy to be here. Thank you so much for listening. Guys, also thank you to everybody bought a shirt for the pre-sell.

We appreciate that. Moved a couple of digits in the shirt category. Merch. So appreciate that. If you haven't already, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Also full video available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well.

Yes, sir and gang. We could not. I mean, could not be more excited to have our very special guest with us in studio today. He is an extremely successful broadcaster, blogger, podcaster. He is the host of We Gotta Believe. And of course the host of KFC Radio on Barstool.

But the big question in his mind today, is he garbage? I don't know. I gotta tell you, I don't know about that. But he's a tall drink of water. He's got a great fucking head of hair on him. All right. This guy should be drinking an apparel spritzer at the fucking regatta.

He's got a legal island. Good quaff on the kid. Listen, ladies and gentlemen, give it the fuck up for the one, the only KFC himself, Mr. Kevin Clancy. You guys know the key to my heart, man. Swooning over here. Look at that dental work too.

This kid's got a fresh shit. Are those veneers? Yeah, for the front four, all fake. Why did you get veneers? You didn't get them when you were young. You got them when things started working out right? No, no, I actually, I was like 18 probably. So I kept, I played basketball and I was kind of an idiot

as a kid and I kept chipping these two teeth and breaking them. And I was like, I don't really care. And my mom, maybe this leads into whether I'm garbage or not. She was like, we can't have you walking around with like disgusting teeth. So we gotta get this fixed.

Yeah, gotta fucking tell him that group, Kevin. Yeah, basically. They start calling you a cousin. They don't want them fucking to treat you. Veneers at 18, that's my first move. I get on, I'm going to get a fucking fresh pair of teeth. Gotta fix the teeth. He's been saying that.

He's been saying that since I met him. I want to set abuses. Give me the big boys. Look at Clancy that'll. Buddy, thanks so much for coming in. Thanks for having me. This is a great setup. I'm looking forward to it

because I know you guys did Kate and then Fidelberg. Yeah. And Fidelberg came in strong that he was not garbage. Like we didn't even ask him. He goes, I'm going on record that I'm not garbage. What was your guys' determination on that one? Final answer. I think I hit him at like 62% garbage.

He's like, he himself is like a garbage pail, like dumpster diver. His family is classy. He comes from good stuff, but when he starts making decisions, it's off the fucking rail. Pissing in the bed, story, all that. He pissed his pants at work the other day.

Jesus Christ, Fidelberg. You got this guy who does like this. Was he drunk? Well, usually. That, yes, but those were separate. We have this guy, Vibbs, who does this show called Lower in the Bar where he sits at the bar at the office

and he makes us eat disgusting shit and do disgusting challenges. And this time it was a little nitro gummy bear, nine million on the Scoville units, whatever. Long story short, it was so hot, Fidelberg pissed his pants. Jesus Christ. It ruined us for like, all of us like for like a few days. I would have taken a sick day.

We did. It was ugly. It was ugly. I want to pack a gummy bears now. I don't know about you boys. That sounds good. Tell us the backstory a little bit. I'm not really. I don't think I know. You're a New York guy.

New York guy born and bred. You were a Mets fan. You're a Mets fan. I've been, I live behind enemy lines my whole life. I was born in the Bronx. OK. My dumb ass mother and grandfather gave me this curse of being a Mets fan. So, yeah, I was born in the Bronx in City Island,

which is a weird place. I don't know if you're familiar with it. Really? Yeah. What the fuck? It's like City Island. It's like the land that like time forgot. You know, it's just out on this island and it's like it's a bizarre place. Then I did a did a bid outside of Philly for a little bit.

My dad got a new job. Nice. Where at? Like like the King of Prussia area. Yeah. Valley Forge. Yeah. So I did that for like a few years in elementary school and then back to the Bronx in New York and then I went to Fordham, like an idiot in the hood. So been New York through and through this Godforsaken city.

But it's not fucking dead. And I think it's ridiculous. Fucking I mean, I'm sure there are some places that are, you know, not great right now. But otherwise, I mean, I know you're probably not supposed to say this, but I kind of like it. It is. Dude, there's no fucking tourists walking around. It's all the outdoor seating.

It's not as crowded. Cocktails outside, not too shabby. And people are like, oh, there's so many homeless people. I'm like, what? There's so many homeless people before. Anyway, we're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just there's now less people on the street.

So they seem they seem a little more outnumbered. Right. Yeah. Little more brazen, too. Yeah, they don't get fucked. Yeah, they run up on the car pretty quick, too. Steal your appetizer, if you're not. I mean, like a seagull. I thought this came with five real sticks.

There's only three. I'm not paying for empty muscle shells over here. Holy shit, City Island. I was I was thinking Montauk fucking the Hamptons. No, no, man. It's yeah, City Island's a weird spot where it's like, you know, a lot of people show up for dinner. Yeah.

Big Mother's Day spot, lunch spot. And then but then if you live there, it's kind of weird. You know what I mean? It's like magic. So are you a beach kid? Like, is there? You know, it's funny. I'm from like everybody I know growing up is like a fisherman

and boats and all that shit. And I just I never really did that. So I'm like, it doesn't make sense that I'm from City Island. I got you. I've seen it on a Bourdain show. It looks like fucking Deadliest Catch. There's like a lot of boats, a lot of docks. Yeah, it's funny.

People, you know, yeah, they're fishing in the Long Island Sound. They got boats. It's nice. But they would they think of themselves as, you know, the Deadliest Catch. And it's like you're just catching some like toxic blue fish from the sound, you know? That's what I love, too.

I mean, all these fish enough of a bridge. Yeah, there's, you know, traffic to get on the island on Sundays or Mother's Day or whatever. It can take like legitimately 45 minutes to get on this island to have seafood that I'm like, either you're eating from the sound that is disgusting, or it's been in the freezer for me. It's not fresh seafood.

You idiot. For sure. So Coney Island clams. Exactly, man. I love the move, too. I find that a lot of people that are not from Philly, they describe if their dad got transferred. It's always for like a year or two.

Nobody wants to be there. That's not a final destination. Yeah. It's a layover at best. Right. It was funny, though, coming from City Island. We kind of had like a two family apartment situation, and then we got to Philly.

Yeah, Burbs of Philly, sweet. Pool and a huge backyard and all this like suburban shit. That's us, baby. It's like a clean living there. Ain't nothing wrong with the King of Pressure Mall, either. I'll tell you that. Dude, that was that.

Get a fucking Annie's in the Orange Julius. Fucking stretch the legs. Get it, man. That was the one that was always far from us. That was like, that was like an hour. But I remember like we'd go once a year, and it was like multi-levels. There was an elevator.

We were like, what? Dude, it was like going to Disneyland, just running around to walk that place for hours. You're like, there's two food courts? What the fuck, as a fat kid, it blew your fucking hair, man. You smell the walk and roll the second you walk in there. There's a sizzler like running on the floor from it up. Yeah.

It's great. Great. Did anybody, if you listen to this, and you've taken a mass trip to the mall once a year with your family like that, multiple cars, you're fucking. Garbage. Yeah, for sure. We did it at every fucking Christmas.

Like four or five cars. You gotta go shoplift presents for each other. Caravan coming through. Stealing bras from your mom. Switching receipts, fucking rotten tags. Holy shit. So what did you guys, so you were down there in the burp. What did you go to school?

Do you remember how elementary we talked about? Valley Forge Elementary School. You went to Valley Forge Elementary, and then what did you guys? I did. I did like a year. So this is pretty trashy. I did, so. Transfer is never a good one.

Yeah, how to play out. So I'm in Philly, again, on the burps. And I'm at Valley Forge Middle School. This is fifth grade. And then, so my grandfather, my mom's dad gets sick. And we moved back to the Bronx to kind of be with the family. Sure. And he had a prognosis.

He was supposed to live longer than he did. He died pretty quickly. And then we moved back to Philly, and we didn't tell the other school that I was leaving. So all of a sudden, my dad once got a phone call being like, your son has been absent for like 160 straight days. His kids missed three months of school. What the fuck?

You don't want them. And I'm like bouncing back and forth between schools. I'm like, hey, I'm back. And people, what the fuck is going on here? Yeah. But I will say, eventually after we, I came back to New York permanently, and we moved to Westchester in Pelham. And, but I was the kid from the Bronx.

And you got a little bit of an edge to you. They were kind of tough guys. I mean, the girls were loving it. The guys were like, who the fuck is this dude? Meanwhile, City Islands. It's like karate kid shit, rolling up to a new school. Guys don't like it. Jixxer, what's up with it?

It's just curious. There's just Carol LaRusso over here. And you know, City Island's like the fake Bronx. You know, I call it the Bronx. It's like, it's a weird place, but it's not like, you know, you're not, you're not bowing on that stuff. Yo, no way. I was like, yeah, you know, there was a couple like drive-fies.

There's some drugs, nothing big deal. That's how we do it where I'm from. I don't know what to tell you. You keep turning and talking to the camera all the time. That's just what we did back at City Island. That's how we roll. You know, I would have loved that. I would have played that up.

Oh, yeah. You ever kill anybody? That, yeah. I mean, the only time I've ever been confused for a tough guy or anything in my whole life was then. Dude, I think every teenage kid would have did the same exact thing. Oh, fuck sure.

You keep that close to the vest. All of a sudden, I got an accent. I'm wearing templates. You know, get throwback jerseys. Let's go. I love it. I'm a rapper, guys. Working on my demo right now.

Holy shit. All right. So let's focus on that a little bit. I like that. So you finally got into settled into a suburban situation for high school. Pelham, was that a single family home? No.

So at that point, everybody, you know, back together. So it's me. I got an older brother who works with me at Barstool, younger sister. So we were all kind of like a broken family for a minute, but then back together normal. But you guys were living in a single family house when? Oh, yeah.

Once we're back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a suburban house. Yes, yeah. But even that was like, you know, Pelham's like a nice town and we bought like, you know, the shittiest house on the block to dress it up. Like, you know, we were actually across the street

from some mafioso house that was a fucking, you know, big time mansion. Our house, I remember we pulled up. I'm in like seventh grade and my mom's like, here's our new home. And it was some like old chick lived there and it was so overgrown. Ah.

Couldn't see the house. Yeah. It was just like trees and bushes and shit. That's always a tough loss. It's like, come on, let's go back to the hood. What are we doing here? Is this stupid? You're really going on faith with that

because you're a little kid and your parents like we're moving. It's not like you're sitting in on the fucking the real estate deal. No. You'd show up and you go pick a room. It's like, what, pick a room? I'll take the fucking Hampton Inn down the street. I'm not fucking getting my mail here.

Leave this shit whole up. Still got the P.O. box, right, Ma? Did your old man, they cleaned it all up? Does he take care of the yard? So they're back on City Island now. So they like downgraded it and got out of Pelham. My dad was very like. Something fishy here.

This kid's moving around a lot. I'll tell you that. What the fuck's your dad do? Jesus. So he was very handy in his younger, younger age. Very like he could build shit and electrical. He ran the Empire State Building for a while. Damn.

Like that's ran it. That's not garbage. Yeah. That's a fucking New York institution, baby. He was like the I guess like the chief operating officer or whatever. So it was like this billion. You ever watched The Jinks with Robert Durst? So the Durst family owns a lot of the property.

Yeah. Like so prior to the Empire State Building, he was working with the Durst and he was like the non-billionaire of the group. Sure. And then he got the job at Empire State Building, kind of ran the operations of it all. OK.

Pretty sweet. That's not too bad. We went to high school out there. Was it public or private? Public. Public. I've always been a public guy. Pelham Bay High?

Who was it in? Pelham Memorial High School. That's not bad. Yeah. It's pretty classy. Yeah. We were, you know, it's like, so Pelham's like in between Neuschel, the Bronx, Mount Vernon, and then like in the middle is,

is this like wannabe fancy town. Yeah. I know I've performed in Pelham a couple of times. Yeah. There's a, there's a wonderful establishment. They're right. The Rockwells? Rockwells.

Yeah, that's right. Whoo. Spent a month there one night. Shout out to Tommy at Rockwells. Like a fun ruckus. Great wings though. Oh, dude, that's the best part of, you know how, you know, you know what, you know what gigs bad when you're like,

how is it? And they go, the food's fucking awesome. Dude, you get out there like two hours early. They feed you some free beers all night. I get on that like 11.59 train back to the city all tuned up. And that's so trashy too, you saying that. Great wings, great wings. Great wings, great wings.

Man, you hear that. You're garbage. I also tell them it's my birthday so that I get to waffle with the ice cream. That's a question. Dude, that's a question. That is the trashiest thing to do, the fake birthday. Oh, man.

To try to get a free slice of cheesecake or something. I remember waiting at the table, people come in and be like, do they do anything for your birthday? Yeah, kick you the fuck out. Fuckin' six, take a hike. What, a pluck a little baseball hat? I think if you're a guy over the age of 21 and you celebrate a birthday.

Spend, kick rocks, spend. Maybe for 30, you give them like a nod or something. But I know, I had friends who were like planning a group joint birthday for like 31. Kill yourself, man. Get the fuck out of here with that. Dude, I'll do a bar. Hey, I'm going to be here Saturday night drinking.

Whoever comes, comes. Let's get drunk. Little cash from mom and dad. Maybe a nice dinner. Maybe a little bout of loop. I don't know. We'll see what happens. Fingers crossed.

Keep it fucking moving. All right. Well, let's play a little fucking argue garbage to find out how garbage, if garbage, you are. We'll see. Let's center on, like I said, let's go back to Pelham. We'll hit you with some of the basics that we like to ask. What was the name of the street that you grew up on out there?

This is very not garbage. OK. Witherby Avenue. 15 Witherby Avenue on the corner of Brook, Brook something. Me. That's Brookville or Brookville. It was some bougie. Dude, it could have been on the corner of Dead End Avenue.

That still sounds nice. Can we get some champagne in here or something? I don't know. Some fucking tar for this gentleman here. That's good. That might be the best answer we've got. Holy shit. That's like fake name territory.

Sure. My name is Trip Witherby. Trip Witherby with sports. That's pretty good. What about the grocery store? What would your mom shop at? There was a Seatown, Dechikos. Dechikos.

The Seatown? Yeah, it was not very. Seatown's trash. What? Big time trash, yeah. Seatown's no bueno. I feel like in recent years, maybe there's like a Trader Joe's or some shit nearby.

But yeah, it was like a local chain. It wasn't like a whole foods type shit. It was trash. Trash. You had us with the name of the street. Dropping Seatown. Yeah, dropping quick though. That's the Seatown.

And it was Dechikos Seatown. It was like, you could see like almost like bootleg commercials on TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch this. Get your milk at Dechikos. I think Seatown's are individually owned as well. Oh, you know what else?

Even more trashed. It was the Crestides. Those are terrible. Crestides is a tough one. I think the Crestides is a drug front. You think? I mean, I used to go there and there was like nobody there. Their aisles are like, I can barely fit down the aisles too.

Fucking grab the cereal and the soup. Screaming down. That's the place where like you actually have to check the milk expiration because it might actually be, there's like dust on the macaroni and cheese. Tanned written, the date's hand written on it. Like, wait a minute. That's like a bad bodega.

All right, Kippy, what do you got? All right, so did you have a, at the house in Pelham, did you have a garage? Yes. All right, this is a big one for us. Big one. This is big. Did you have a garage fridge in that garage?

No. We had like a piece of shit garage. It was not attached. It was separate. Okay. But it was almost, but it was like a glorified shed. Okay. We didn't park our cars in it or anything.

It was more just like garbage. So no second fridge that just had beverages or beers. We had a, oh, we had, this is trash. Here we go. We had a basement. Okay. This is shaping up to be good. Pseudo furnished.

Old countermanship. Definitely not, you know, like carpet and nice shit, but like we did, we threw up, we had a pool table. Okay. Full size? Nope. Come on.

And a little like crooked. Nah, I'm trying to sneak that bullshit by us. It was fucking bumper pool at best. It's a three-in-one Fisher price, John. We would try to like hang out in the basement, even though it was really, it wasn't really nice. And we did have a second fridge that we, it was like our meat fridge.

Okay. That's good. So one day though, I was, you know, trying to, like I said, trying to hang out there, some unplugging things and plugging in like a boom box or whatever the fuck it was. No. Left the meat fridge on point.

Oh. That'll ruin the weekend. Mom and Pops would not have you by that one. Holy shit. That was tough. Three-in-one's worth of fucking steaks in there. I gotta go back to seat down. Omaha Steaks all just fucking done.

That's a question. Are you Omaha Steaks family? Huge. Oh dude, if you're getting Mal via the fucking. Cancel the champagne. You're gonna meet via the post office. You fucked up somewhere. Promo code KFC.

All right. Get the Father's Day package year round. Let the kid wet his beak, will you? I'll tell you what, my aunt, I like it. I know, I get what you're saying, mailing, getting steaks in the mail trash. Come on, kid. No, Omaha is fucking fantastic.

It's good. We got some at the beginning of the summer. My aunt had just sent us down like a little care package. She used to do hickory farms back in the day. Remember them? Mm-hmm. We get one of those that would show up. A weed salami or whatever.

Yeah, it was a little strawberry candies in the fake grass. That's what you said when someone dies, dude. You're just getting them on a Tuesday? That's real trash. Here's some port wine cheese. Isn't that the best? It's like, somebody dies. It's like, here's a ham.

Yeah. It's like, thanks, man. Yeah, yeah. I lost a lot of my life, but at least I have poor people ham. Yeah, at least I got a sweaty ham to look after. And go get a Honeywell spiral. But no, we got a bunch of shit from Omaha Steaks. The steaks were fucking awesome, and they also sent,

like, hot dogs or sausage. Yeah. Put those on a grill. Yeah, burger is caramel, apple tartlets. Put that the whole thing in the bag. Kids got the menu on them. A big thing is, do you keep the cooler that it comes in and reuse it?

I mean. We got six of those in our garage. That's garbage. That. What? That. That. I can confidently say, I have not done that.

I have saved the ice packs. Oh, yeah. Come on. You're not a fucking jerk off. Oh, yeah. You twist an ankle. Cool. Dude, you fuck yeah.

Exactly. Exactly. Always. All right. I don't, I disagree with that. I'm on the fence. Because those coolers that they send are pretty, they're pretty good foam coolers.

Yeah, you're trying to get rid of a body, dude. No way. That, you should not be putting anything in there. Put a couple of things in there. Can you show them to the beach with that thing, man? Like, it's a Yeti or something? Yeah, he is. And the thing is, they don't play.

It's got a big handle on it. You're drinking out of it. You got to duct tape it together. Those Yetis, man, my parents both have them. They walk around like they're fucking predators. The tumblers, or what are they called? The rockers? The tumblers?

I feel like if you, it's like a cult. Yeah, it's like a big gulp with fucking, with the handle on it. It's like, it's just that either it's a cooler or a cup or something. It's not the end of the world. Yeah, I know. Give it a rest.

The branding's working, though. Big time. Yeti, Yeti, butts. That was a great phrase. You ever see that? Hot chicks sitting on a Yeti in like a thong? They're called Yeti butts. Like, that's pretty, you know, keep it simple, stupid.

I like it. We got to get a better marketing department. Dylan, what the fuck are you doing there? Holy shit. All right, so we got that. No garage fridge, but freezer downstairs, even though you ruined it. That's all right.

I got one. Let me take this, because this was a big one last week for us. Do you brush your teeth in the shower? No. Thank you. What? Thank you. We've been arguing about this, or just yelling about this

on the podcast. The idea that people are like, it's a life hack? Have you seen that? It is. No, it's fucking gross. You don't feel fresh coming out of there with your teeth brush? Well, that's a different thing. The people who are like, it's going to save time.

It's like, no, it's not. There's not a good argument for it. And first of all, it's going to max save what? 10 seconds. Well, you can't do this. You're just standing there brushing your teeth, which you would be doing in the bathroom anyway. But here's the thing.

If you do it in the shower, that saves on the splash, on the fucking mirror, and all the toothpaste that gets in the sink. I mean, what are you doing with your brushing teeth? Are you just like, spitting it out of your hand? Power washer? What are you doing? Shit gets loose.

Are you throwing that fucking thing in? I mean, by the way, the idea that you're supposed to brush for two full minutes is insanity. Have you ever tried to do that? No. It's like I'm there for half an hour. It's like washing your hands, doing happy birthday choice. Get the fuck out of here.

I don't know how my teeth are still in my head. Me too. For the guy. Well, I can see from here there's a couple not in there, pal. I mean, these being fake, I think is the only thing that saved me. I haven't gone to the dentist in years. Oh, I've been there in years. I went to the dentist.

I went a decade, and I just went like six months ago, or like probably eight months ago. Clean. Like good to go? Yeah, good to go. She tried to like sell me on some serve. It was a weird, it was a weird, it was like a Groupon one that like my girlfriend or my wife got me.

Oh, there's a slip on the side. No, no, I guess she was my girlfriend at the time. My wife, currently. You're a groupon sending you to a dentist. Out there on City Island. Yeah. That's, I feel like if I do go to the dentist, they're going to be like, well, you have about like 35 cavities.

It's not as, and I, somebody else did the same thing and told me, they're like, it's not as bad as you think. You're going to go, you got like one cavity or whatever. I was clean bill. She tried to sell me some bullshit service. I was like, hit the fucking brick. Yeah, like flossing under your teeth or something weird like that. I flossed just the other day for like, I do,

I do like a semi-annual floss. That's the one thing I'm really good at. I floss to you. Twice a day, yeah. Lick twice a day. It's lick-riss, it's lick-riss, it's lick-riss, it's lick-riss. I literally even twice a year. I get so much shit in my teeth that like, I don't feel,

I don't, if I go to bed, I'll have like a little piece of meat or something. That's disgusting. Yeah, then you got to do it. I mean, I, I did my semi-annual floss and it looked like I, I went 12 rounds. Oh, it smells so bad. Oh, it's disgusting. It's putrid.

I don't know how dentists do that shit, just scraping. They're always giving you shit. That's nasty. So you must be brushing twice a day if you're doing. I do. I'm pretty good. I brush twice a day. Do you twice a day?

I'm a good, let's call it like 10 times a week. It's probably not twice a day. It's probably like 10 times a week. I'm like nighttime. This is pretty garbage. I just, you know, I'm going to bed. Yeah, me too. That's right.

I'm not brushing my, I'm going to sleep. I'm not trying to impress anybody. Of course. I'll brush them in the morning. This is trashy. Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I like to wait to brush them because I like that taste sometimes. I don't know why.

All right. Have the aisle. Dude, you always go a little too far. What, I'm being, I thought we were in the trustry here. I'm being honest. Yeah. What about this? Cause I was thinking about the, the brushing teeth in the shower.

How do you both feel about the brushing of the teeth, but you're walking around the apartment a little bit? Are you, are you okay with that? No. Right in front of the sink. Right in front of the sink. Really? First of all, how long are you brushing?

You are? I'm a big walker. Yeah. See, that's trash. A small apartment, but a big walker. When I'm in the kitchen, I'm in the closet, I'm everywhere. For what? Maximum 60 seconds.

Yeah. I don't know why. It's just my brain shuts off and I just got to go. I also, when I, maybe I don't, maybe I'm not a quantity guy, but I'm a quality with the brush. So I'm getting in there. And if I'm in the middle of my living room, there's, you know, forget it. I got it.

What's your toothpaste of choice these days? Crest 4D, white, whatever, right? Woo. Got an heuristic crest. That's the one. Yeah. I don't even know what the fuck that means. I didn't even know it was a fourth dimension.

Like an Elon Musk makes that. That's fucking interstellar over here. I picked it up in a black hole. Ah, that's good. All right. I got one. There you go. I want, I wanted to ask you this.

What'd you get in your SATs? Oh, what's up? Good one. Um, 13, 20. What? Yeah. It's a higher level. The kid's got a brain on.

Yeah, I did. It was exactly, uh, 660 and 660. Damn. Oh, verbal and math. And what'd you go to school? What'd you go to college? Fordham. Yeah.

I wanted to go to Villanova. Ooh. They told me no. They did. They told me no. They're wrong. So then I. He's not on a drive-by at Villanova.

They, uh, because I, I liked Philly and I had like two of my best friends for life. I met there. I love cheesesteaks. So I was like, let me go back and Villanova was like the idea. And I thought I was going to get in. And then when I didn't, I was just like, I guess I'll go to Fordham. My brother went to Fordham. It was really not like I wanted to go there.

It was kind of just like, ah, fuck it. Let's just do it. Yeah. Yeah. Path of least resistance. Villanova's clean living. That's fucking, that's, that's, that's, that's the main, that's the main line. That's fucking.

It's nice. Yeah. That was the, uh, once I didn't get in, I was like, Villanova on this place sucks, even though I desperately wanted to go. I love you guys. Yeah. My uncle was the soccer coach there for a long time. Oh yeah.

I used to spend a bunch of time out there. Yeah. But yeah, 16, uh, 13, 13, 20 out of the 1600. That's fucking pretty impressive. I'll take it. You ever take any LSATs or anything like that? No, I did. Oh, I fuck.

I came, I got an MBA. Oh yeah. I saw that. From where? From Fordham. It was kind of a fake one though. And that's my whole life is faking to you make it. So you made it.

I keep doing it. I graduated early and, and did a five year program. So like, so I had a couple, I did some AP credits. I took some summer courses. So I was, I was caught, I was ahead. Yeah. Um, like, yeah, there was one summer where I didn't, I, I didn't, I had surgery and I, uh, I didn't have a job.

So I just did school and then I was able to always register early for classes. So I kind of scammed the whole system. And then, uh, they said I had the grades for this MBA program. So rather I graduated a semester early. Okay. And so then I should have graduated in May, like with normal people for an undergrad. I graduated that same August with an MBA. So I like, you know, I hustled that one.

It's a f***ing mover and sh**t. And I just took that and I flushed it down the f***ing toilet to become a smut peddler. Yeah, exactly. So that's bluechew.com everybody. Fordham's nothing to shake a stick at. That's a really good school. Yeah, it got the job. I mean, if I, if I could do it all over again, I would go elsewhere.

Yeah. My cousin got in there and she was all excited. Then she got into Boston college and she was like, Pettios. Yeah. I mean, my first, my first, my freshman year I got like right away. I got mugged at gunpoint. Really?

Gun to my neck. That's tough. I was like, what am I doing here? Like, why did I do this? Why didn't I go to like Arizona State? I know. It was one of the kids from Westchester found out you weren't really tough. Look who it is, Clancy.

Clancy, you pussy girl. It was me, my buddy and this girl. And we went out. It was like a Tuesday night. We're walking back to the dorm. I could see like the security guard. I wanted to be like, hey you. Yeah, he was like sleeping in the booth.

Yeah, literally. He was like right around Christmas and he grabbed the girl and he's like, you know, hey baby, I need Christmas presents. So like, give me all your money. And she was a little drunk and she was about to start mouthing off. And I was like, do not say that. I got you. I got you right here, sir.

I got you right here. So then he grabbed me and put the gun on my neck and he walks away with like $7. But you know, traumatized for life. Damn. Yeah. Gun to the neck. That's tough, man. That's pretty hardcore.

And you mentioned ASU. That's always, that's like every east coast fucking knuckleheads plan. Because like back then it was like the number one party school or like Playboy. It was, they were the number one and something. And every dude was like, fuck this weather. I'm going out there ASU. I legit can't imagine what your life is like when, you know, your dorm is like a pool. Like in a pool.

Yeah, yeah. I mean that's not possible. I think ASU has a lazy river or it had a lazy river on campus. I'm telling my son, I'm going to give him a choice of like five schools when he's older. And that's it. And none of them are going to be good schools. You know, it's like you're going to a big time football school or warm weather school. And that's it.

When I was a kid, but Playboy used to have those, you know, the hottest girls of the SCC or whatever. Holy shit. That was fucking the best. I want to go there. I want to go there. I want to go there. And then instead I go to the hood for something.

Yeah, I went to temple. So it was the same thing. It was like in the middle. I mean, dude, it was a five was fucking no calendar down there. Chubby white dude from the Burbs ends up in North Philly. I was a fucking eye opener. A lot of sweatpants worn inside out down there. Not classy at all.

How do you feel about the filet of fish sandwich? I'm out on that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Big time out on that. At the same, I mean, I do eat garbage food, but I just I think I draw the line at the fish.

Really? Something about me feels like the fish needs to be somewhat fresh or whatever. What about the what about the imitation crab meat? How do you feel about that? Give me like an example. Like a with a spoon. Like are we talking like straight from the Friday night? Yeah, like fucking look at him.

He's got some on him if you need it. Pull it out. Under a roll or something. Here you go. I got some for later. I'm talking Friday night. You went to the store. Dude, maybe the lady's out doing something with her friends

and you pick up a little fucking grocery store seafood salad, which now to each their own. I really can't talk with him because he got a 1320. He's not even fucking imitation crab meat. Jerk off. I am a garbage person when it comes to food, though. So I mean, Entomans is my jam. That's classic.

What do you mean? Okay. All right, then if that is classy, then I am the fucking Queen of England. What's your move on Entomans? I have the rich chocolate frosted donuts. But come on. But here's the thing.

I take it very seriously. Lay it on. We have what I call, of course, we have what I call donut season. I do not eat donuts. I do not eat the Entomans donuts in the warm weather months. No, you can't. And the people who say put it in the fridge,

I want to light them on fire. Yeah, get the fuck out of my face. It ruins it from from. So from like the chocolate gets too hard. Yeah. And then it's like a little too waxy with the fridge. I go like October to April. This guy's got a good fucking head on the shoulder.

It's got the snap, the crunch a little bit. And they have four different variations. They got the full size, the poppets, the pop bums, the minis are amazing. Dude, the full. I remember I still remember the first time I had a full size one. My stepmom brought them home and I was like, what the hell?

Don't my mom? I said, yo, duds. Step it up. She's fucking coming for the crown over here. And the crumb cake. I love the crumb. And I just cut the middle piece out right away, like a piece of shit.

I mean, anything ends, I'm really right. They do a fudge cake where the fucking fudge is like fucking three inches thick. It's fucking great. Yeah, they got a case at the end of the aisle. All right, since we're on food, I have one for you. We're big, like popping in and grabbing like a beer and an appetizer. It's big for us, you know what I mean?

If you're somewhere you pop in, grab a beer and an appetizer. I enjoy it. So one of, you know, I have a menu from one of America's Fine Dining Establishments, known as TGI Fridays. Ooh, nice. Okay. Shout out to TGI. Thankfully, not an Applebee's.

I'm banned from Applebee's. For what? It's banned. That's garbage. But I like it. We went to, I guess maybe just this specific location. We were in Maine. Casey's got his picture on every fucking door.

We were in Maine for tobogganing, some crazy parcel show. And we go to Applebee's and they are very strict about how much alcohol you can consume. Really? So the point that like, it's absurd though. Like we were there for like six hours because we were trash people. And they, you know, we ordered like another round and they were like, you know, we can't do it. And I think the rule is like you can't have more than like four drinks in an hour or whatever it is. And they were pointing to the cameras like they're watching.

So we left. Hey, what the fuck? Yeah, exactly. Like big brother or some shit. So we left and changed clothes and came back thinking that they were going to like not notice. And they were like, you know, six drunk assholes. I still have my tab open, right?

I went from like a red shirt to a blue shirt. It's like Bobby Valentine trying to fucking hide in the dugout. So yeah. Okay, TGI. That's real fucking trash, but I love it. That's a power move. Dude, there's nothing better than being in a place where you're not really supposed to be drunk and being drunk at fucking fantastic.

We literally ordered everything. We ordered one of everything. I love it. It's so good. All right. Shout out to that Czech Daniels sauce. God damn it. This is the TGI Fridays appetizer menu.

Let me know your top two picks. Okay. All right. Jew, couple of buddies, couple of beers. You got your mozzarella sticks. You got your spinach and artichoke dip. You got your chips and salsa. But if you're getting chips and salsa to fucking Fridays,

hit the fucking tricks. Yeah, that's the fucking lane. You got warm pretzels, which must be a new addition to the menu. I never saw that. You got pan seared pot stickers, pork dumplings. There you go. Green bean fries. What?

That. What? Friday signature whiskey glaze sesame chicken strips. Panko crusted. We got the winner. Loaded potato skins. And Friday signature whiskey glaze sliders. Okay.

All right. First of all, starting off mozzarella sticks. 100%. Sure. I mean that. They got a mean mozzarella stick too. A couple orders. Yeah.

That anywhere, by the way, like that's, you know, mozzarella sticks. You got to go mod sticks. What's the slide? Is this a burger slider? Uh, it's USDA choice beef burgers, signature whiskey glaze, roasted onions, white cheddar, and spicy mayo,

with a Tabasco chipotle pepper sauce. Holy shit. Served with seasoned fries, by the way. What, Gordon Ramsay take that place over? Yeah. You know, I almost would rather just prefer like a cheese burger. Yeah. That's a little bit too much.

That's a little too much for a cheese burger. I'm going with them for sure. But yeah, I think ultimately that my pick would be mozzarella sticks and sliders. Mm-hmm. What's up with the green bean fries? Who are you trying to be? Stop.

Get out of here. You just beat garbage. Yeah, everybody with a pile of flour. Shut up. Right. It's not a replacement. Fuck off. No wings there, huh?

No, just like buffalo wings? And no nachos? No wings, no nachos. I think nachos are overrated. What? Wow. I think nachos are kind of a mess. Because the problem is, I understand.

If you make, you know, sometimes they make them like individual portions with everything on it. But when you just get a pile. It's tough. It's not, you know, you get one with all sour cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I actually have an answer for that. Believe it or not, what they should be doing

is they should be doing deconstructed nachos. Where all the shit is in one thing and then you get the chips on the side. Yeah. Because the olive tree on McDougal Street used to do nachos like that. They would send out the chips and the cheese and the chili. But everything else was on this like a Kutramal plate.

Right. So you had a little control. It's almost like fondue in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, we're French over here. You said that like such New York garbage. Almost like what's it called? What are you eating over there?

What are you eating over there? The cheese and the thing. The melted. The fondue. I would go modsticks and I love a good load of potatoes. Oh, wow. That, the mick in me was leaning towards that. We were talking about the potato famine the other day.

Yeah. Oh, I saw you got some shit. We got a lot of shit. I mean, it just, a million people died because we couldn't make potatoes anymore. It's crazy. I don't know if this paints a picture. My sister once asked me, what animal do potatoes come from?

Oh, I don't think she got a 30s one. Yeah, thank you that much. NYU went to NYU. What? A nurse and everything. I'm like, listen. Damn. Just remember your nurses frontline heroes,

but they might be stupid like my sister. Holy shit. Wow. Wow. The appetizer menu. I like that. I know you're going to like that one. I also like I'm a guy who will just order like several appetizers

instead of an entree. Yeah, of course. I'm a huge, I eat, I went through a thing, especially when I first had my kids, where you're up at all hours at all times. I go, I have first meal, second meal, third meal. I don't call breakfast, lunch, dinner. I eat what I want, when I want.

I'll have a burger for breakfast. I'll have cereal for dinner. Like, I don't care. Yeah. It's, yeah. That's, my wife says that. She's like, well, what do you, I'm like, it doesn't matter. It's, it's fast.

No, I mean, a G steak. You know what I mean? Right. It don't matter if it's the first meal of the day. Right. How do you feel about breakfast for dinner? You a big fan of that? Huge.

It's a trash meal, but it's so good. It's so trash, so good though. So trash, but it's a. Pancakes at six o'clock is like a clean limit. Sear, sear up on everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sausage, links or sausage patties? Interesting question. That is a question. I think it's an easy answer. It's an easy answer. KFC. I think it's an easy answer. There's the deal.

The, you're talking breakfast sausage patties. Correct. Yeah. Because there's also. Right. They're doing like sausage and peppers is a different story, but if we're doing. But they also do like, you know,

sweet or hot Italian patties that you can have like on the grill. I've never seen that fantastic. But the sausage patty rules king is king, but they are harder to find. The only place I know to get it consistently is fucking Mickey D's big breakfast. Those are great. And I do like the, I guess it's a,

is it Jimmy Dean, but there's like a maple. Yes. Small links. Yeah. I don't like the big like great links. You get like a diner, like the big ones. Yeah, no. You're like, I ordered this medium buddy.

This thing's still fucking bleeding. Yeah. But I'll do like the syrup infused little links or the patty. Yeah. It's really nice. They got a good snap to them too. Dink hot. A little crisp.

Get some when we get out of here. All right. Who did the cooking growing up? Your mom or your dad? My mom did the cooking very begrudgingly. Like she fucking hates cooking. And she'd be like, I gotta keep you sons of bitches alive, I guess.

But we were a big time. London broil, mac and cheese. Wow. Burgers. And chicken like rotate the three over and over and over again. The London broil. Why did we think?

We thought that was fucking. Because it has the name London. High society. On Witherby Road, dude. That's a fucking come on. I don't even know what fucking, what cut that is. Yeah. Where, where is that?

Even a cow. I don't even know what animal we're eating. The London broil. We also, we did a pork chops. We called it pork chops and red slop. It was our like family meal. Check please. And it was like, I don't know if my mom like invented it

or not. I don't know if it's like a special thing to our family, but it was like some sort of onion, red, not like marinara, but like some sort of red sauce that was like mixed it up with the pork chops. Sounds Eastern European. Do you still do it? Does she still whip it up?

Dude, now if I, if it was like, I'm starving to death, Ma, you need to cook for me. She'd be like, go fuck yourself. Yeah, go fuck yourself. I'll plan the, I'll plan the funeral. Go get a big breakfast. She's not, she's not, she's not cooking anymore. Did any, any of that translate over into how you operate today?

I mean, I order food every single night. That's what you're talking about. That's a New York thing. I mean, I, I can do the basics. I'm not, you know, not Gordon Ramsay, like you said earlier. I, you know, and on the grill, I can, I can, you know, I can grill you up some dogs and burgers and shit, but I'm not, I'm by no means a cook.

But you're, and you're married now, right? Deworst. Okay. So you're living by yourself. You're, you're a single guy. All right. So I'll have like cookies for dinner. Okay.

All right. Yay. I thought you, I thought you had a family. I got, I got two kids there with me, you know, half the time. So like, it's a weird, like, you know, I'll have, like my dad had on and I'm trying to like cook for them and be a normal person. And then when they go home.

It's fucking trash. Yeah. Yeah. Wheels are, yeah. Wheels come off. Ordering from fucking Tony DiDiannopoulos, getting the fucking menu sign up. Let's see.

I'm a big Tony D's guy. Dude, I ate there last night. It's like family style, except I'm just eating myself. It's, I, when I first moved in New York, uh, back, back in like 2000 and then I moved back home, when I first came up there, I tried to get a job there. And they, the, they also own this shitty chicken place called Dallas barbecue.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Very familiar. I tried to get a job at this fucking nice Italian place and they're like, uh, we're thinking you're more of a, they're a Dallas guy. You're more of a BBQ kind of guy.

It was in Times Square. Yeah. The worst. Yeah, the barbecue joint in Times Square has to be fucking devastating. Oh, it's terrible. Fucking frightening. Fucking downtown Syria.

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Now back to the show. All right, I got one. Let's see. Do you sneak snacks into the movies? It's very funny you bring this up. That is a trash move. No, it's a smart move. If you think that he snacks in his trash,

I went to Chinese food. This was close, close. I think I was seeing that movie with Ryan Gosling, the man, the moon, he went to the moon or whatever. It was a relatively recent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't last year. I went to on Central Avenue in Yonkers.

Pretty trashy to begin with. And I snuck several cheesy gordita crunches into. I went to the Taco Bell drive-thru ahead of time and I put three cheesy gordita crunches in my hoodie pocket. And then I go into the theater and it was this bizarre 15-person theater, very tiny. And there were children there. And I walked right out.

And I ate my cheesy gordita crunches in the parking lot because I was like, I'm a grown man. I'm sitting next to children. Yeah, I can't eat Taco Bell. And I'm gonna be crunching and shit. And then maybe, I don't know, a couple months later, I put that hoodie on, put my hands in my pockets, and there was just shredded cheese.

The shredded lettuce on the car seat is the single symbol of garbage. Memories of my trash. What were you doing going to the movies in Yonkers? I mean, I live in Mount Vernon. I'm like right around the corner from there. So I frequent Yonkers that you can put that in the trash columns.

I say there's no shame in that. And the way I justify that is, I'm always going to get something there. But you don't want to be a fucking jerk off and get. What's your movie snack order? That's very interesting, Kevin. Question, Kevin. I appreciate you asking that.

What I like to do. We just talked about that. I'm a fucking pretzel and cheese guy for sure. Yeah, that's kind of new age-ish in my mind. Yeah, 2000s probably early 2000s. Big thing of popcorn. All right. And a fucking big-ass cherry Coke.

Oh, I hate cherries. What? Packed with cherries. Cherry Coke, root beer, cream soda. Dr. Pappet rather died. What's your go-to? What? Who is this guy?

Coca-Cola classic. The fucking American. Unless we're at McDonald's and then you got to go Sprite because it sets your fucking mouth on fire. I don't know what that Sprite they do there. What do they do there? It's like, I've read up on it. It's actually kind of like, there's a reason.

Oh, yeah. So they store it in like a steel tub. Rather like, some places do like bags, plastic. They do the steel. It keeps it like cold. It's got a bite to it. Yeah. And they have like an extra, like their syrup.

The syrup is like a little bit different. And then if you notice, they got that thick straw. Or the wide straw. You kind of like. I didn't say it's. Yeah, it's got some fucking strength to it. It doesn't collapse. Right.

It's good for a shake. Yeah. But sometimes I prefer a thinner one for my soda. Oh, do you? I like a good gulp full of those straws. This is a big thing last week too. Let's, America is split on. Will you order no ice with your soda?

No. What? Yeah. Thank you. No shit. Do I want a warm soda with a lukewarm? Do people will do. Because it melts or something?

Yeah, it melts. People, people are writing in. Don't let cold beverages. What they do. The communists, Kevin, is what they are the communists. They'll get no ice in the drive-thru of McDonald's. Drink half of it, drive home, and then put ice in it when they get home.

Like a real fucking animal. I mean, block those people. Dude, that's insanity. That's pre-crime. Like, that's insane. That's insane. I will murder one day. Think about that.

I like a ice cold soda. More ice. Come on. Give me more ice. I'm drinking it before it melts or whatever. You're worried about, so, you know. How do you feel about, this is what I, I'm on the fence about this.

That's very serious. I know. Do you take the, if you go through the drive-thru, will you eat it in the car or do you take it home? I usually order an extra fry for the car. Okay, but then you go home and you eat. You eat at home. But yeah, I start eating right away.

Of course. I just don't go anywhere that's far enough where like my meal is done. Gotcha, gotcha. I'm also like, I'm a big Mac guy, so like, you can't eat that in the car. That's a mess, you know. Not true.

I mean, you, anything's possible. Fully's got a pulley system in his car. You're a young kid, you got a lot to learn. I'll tell you that. We can do two big Macs. I got to get, because I'm doing that impulsively. And you know, I'm waiting for those endorphins to fucking start making me feel better.

I got, I always get a fucking extra burger and I'm like eating a cheeseburger and driving around. Oh, I feel like a pimp. It's like, I'm like Denzel in training day. I didn't know you got wet. You're in the office, baby. I'll tell you that. A bit of wise men, let's go.

What's your, what's your fast food? Like, I feel like that's a look into the soul of a man. What's your number one fast food place? Hands down, it's Chick-fil-A. I mean, it's the best. This guy. It's the best. Chick-fil-A.

It's based on, it's based on product. It's based on scarcity. It's, I mean, McDonald's. You're not open on Sunday. You have been played by the marketing machine, sir. Whatever, buddy. I mean, it's good, but it's not like, like Popeye's chicken sandwich

versus Chick-fil-A's chicken sandwich, which we're like, Popeyes all day. Yeah, but you gotta go to, yeah, put the fucking Popeyes on every, on every block. True. They hit the king of pressure mall, stop taking that. Maybe they're up by Yonkers and City Island, but I mean, there's not a lot of foot traffic in front of a Popeye.

You know the problem is Chick-fil-A does not, you gotta eat it on site. You do the delivery. I think it's the best. I go to McDonald's. I don't eat that much, but I will. I mean, it's McDonald's. It's the Coca-Cola.

That's what I mean. When you said hands down, I thought you were gonna go to McDonald's because it's like classic. It's the go-to, but I think KFC is the best one. I'm sorry, KFC, as I'm looking at you. Chick-fil-A is the best one. What's yours?

I would probably go, it's probably McDonald's for just, like I said, the growing up reasons. Nothing tastes so bad. You know what I just ordered and I got him delivered to my house? His face just fucking lit up, by the way. I ordered the Batman Forever promotional mugs. You know what I'm talking about?

From, like, 20 years ago? From, like, 30 years ago. Where'd you find them? The big mugs. I don't know how I saw them. I wouldn't eat those McNuggets from that McDonald's. But I got the Batman, the Riddler, Too Faced, and Robin.

Are they all faded and stuff? I don't feel like they age. And they're like real glass. It was like back when promotional gifts were fucking good. Yeah, we talked about that. We talked about those on a couple episodes. Drinking out of those as a kid, man. Coming in from, like, a basketball game or something?

And they are, like, kid-sized, by the way. They're, like, this big, so. But, I mean, McDonald's is what kind of my thing I love. But really, the cheesy gordita crunch to me is, like, the number one, like, single individual food item. And then I love Wendy's, so, I mean, those would be my silver, bronze, and gold in some sort of order, you know?

Yeah, not too long ago. All right? I had a Baconator. Mm-hmm. Couple hours ago. Did it fuck you up? It was, like, two weeks' vacation. That was fucking fantastic.

You know what's great, too? Checkers. Checkers has a bacon burger that will fucking. Are there any up here, though? They're probably outside of the city. I know one in Brooklyn. That's the only place I got one. I know one in Queens, and let me tell you something.

You better fucking come heavy. It ain't fucking Shake Shack. I'll tell you, you gotta fucking have your head on a spiffle. You better check your fucking six pre-games. Working out. Fucking go in there with some war paint on. Go in there in a gully soup, so no one sees you. Got it on my hip, you know?

Ah, good shit. All right, we've got a few more minutes here. I'm on the fence, man. I'm a coin clip on garbage or not. I'll try to. I'm a huge above-ground pool guy. Nice. So in City Island, we had one.

We had an above-ground pool in City Island. In Philly, we got bougie, and we're in ground. Welcome to Queens. And then in Westchester, we did above-ground. In-ground. I would go as far as say as I prefer the above-ground. Yes, sir. Because it's the worst Christmas pools.

World pools are OK. I'll give you a world pool, but it's a trashman town. No. I mean, sure. Come on, sure, but. If you have above-ground, if you have in-ground pool money, and you get an above-ground pool, you are fucking trash. Yeah, you're probably right about that.

My parents put a deck around there. Yeah, because then it's like a fake in-ground above-ground. That ain't fooling anybody. My fool, you're a dumb neighbor, but. There's no way Zillow numbers are going up. Terry's doing very well. Did you ever have any road signs that you stole and put in your room, like a stop sign or fucking a couple construction cones?

That was always the trash bag. I do not enter or something like that. We, as a crew of friends, I never really did it, but we would steal a stop sign frequently. They would put it back up by the morning. Oh, yeah, they moved quick. Those townships were quick. Hey, that's what we know when you're in a good township.

I mean, I remember thinking it was funny, and then being like, man, if there was ever an accident, we're on a hook for murder, you know? Fucking grandma gets P-Bone. But it's cool in the frat house, though, right, dude? There was a woman killed. I mean, I was going to bars when I was like 15. Yeah, I love it.

North Avenue in Neuroshell. We had a fake ID. My brother's fake ID. He said he was born in like 72. Sure. And I'm going in there as like a 15-year-old. Love that, man. North Avenue.

North Avenue in Neuroshell was the underage drinking capital of the world. I don't know if they still have those, like just like bars where it's like you walk in and nobody's 21. Yeah, nobody gives a shit. Oh, yeah, that was the best, dude. Not even close.

So, did the bars early? I mean, we drank in the woods like every high school kids did. It's weird because in a small, weird way, that is a major life lesson, because especially sometimes those places weren't like just a free-for-all, but it was a place where they looked the other way and it would be like a place that like sold pizza

and they had beer, but they'd have like a little bar and it would just be like a couple of like old people sitting there. Yeah. It was like, if you were respectful, we'll look the other way. Yeah. And you just hang out.

You start talking to them and like, when the fuck would you as a 15-year-old kid are we talking to some fucking, you know, 60-year-old Vietnam vet fucking, you know, telling a story. Learn it's a life lesson. Yeah, learn it's a fucking life lesson. Right.

No millennial pussy. I've been talking to the nom vets since I was 15. Smoking cigs inside. What do you got? Do you know the words for the final battle scene in the movie, Eight Mile? Because if you do, this is a game changer. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not going to be able to do it for you right now. Yeah, I'm not asking. But if we put it on, I'm getting my B rabbit out. It's Mom's spaghetti. No doubt, okay. I went through a very big, like I am a black person face. Dude, every white kid from the suburbs.

100% wanted the BB rabbit. Yeah, I mean, especially when I was playing basketball in City Island, it was like me and one other white kid named Tommy Coakley and the rest was co-op city kids. Dude, Tommy Coakley is a great name. Great name. Great name.

Tommy. But we, you know, there was, yeah. And as Tommy Coakley came in. But yeah, big time, like wanted to be a rapper and, you know, wore big baggy clothes and Jordans and shit like that. Do you ever have any throwback jerseys? Oh, yeah.

Empirically, so. Throwback jerseys. I once, I was at the King of Prussian Mall. Hit it. And I was out of Models or something. And there was a Jason Kidd Maverick's jersey that was mispriced. And there was like $15.99 instead of like the usual

like $50, just at the time was a big deal to me. But it was a size like $52. I bought it anyway. And I'm just walking around with a Jason Kidd like Nightgown because it was $15 instead. That's real trash. Yeah, big time trash. We put, I don't know if this is necessarily trashy

or one way or the other. I played Magic the Gathering as a kid. That's fucking nerdy. Nerdy, sure. It's not really trashy. It's not trashy. Those were good kids. That leans to, yeah, that leans towards classy.

Yeah. You know, talking about Jason Kidd, remember when the Nets were good and like everybody was wearing the Nets jerseys? That, none of that aged well at all. No, those jerseys were terrible. Those, that team was good, man. If they didn't run into the fucking Lakers,

they probably would have won a couple. Yeah, what year was that? That was probably, oh. It was early three-ish or something like that. Van Horn, right? Wasn't he on that team? Keep Van Horn, keep Van Horn. Kiddles.

Kiddles. Kenya Murray was a Nova guy. Yeah. He got in that, he got in trouble with like prepaid calling cards. It was my buddy's dad was in on it. That's a real trash. That's a hustle right there. Well, before we let you go,

I want to follow through with a couple of things because I am on the fence as well. And what's putting you on the fence. I can't call it. It's like, it's like yes and then no. Yes, you might be down the middle. The things that, especially with the food, the things that I eat, which I'm fucking garbage,

is grossing you out and that leads me to believe that you're classy. I just want to follow through a little bit of that. Like, how do you feel about mayonnaise? Love mayonnaise. Hellman's or are you a Miracle of Guy? I mean. He just looked at me like he was going to fucking get talking.

I'm out of here. Tommy Clooney done. What a disrespectful question. I'm not a Miracle of Guy. I'm not going to ask the question. I got to follow through here. I got a job to do. I am a Hellman's guy.

Good. If you talk to other people at Barstool, there are some high society folks who love like a nice charcuterie board. They call me like the trash bin of Barstool. Like I eat like a little kid to them. Do you like cottage cheese? No, not really.

All right, good. I don't even know what I would put that on and do with it. Is it cheese? Is it a dessert? I don't know. Oh, it's delicious. Yogurt, I don't know. Shout out to Brexstones, everybody.

I like cream cheese and sour cream. I do that. All right, you like sour cream. Anything that, if I'm doing sour cream, I'm doing a fuck ton of it. And when I do like a bagel with cream cheese, I want it to be like a brick of cream cheese in the middle. You know what my favorite thing in the world is,

is when the cream cheese is in the hole, you know what I mean? And you just take a bite of the cream cheese without the bagel. That's a day changer. If you get that in the morning, that is a fuck. That'll put a little pep in your step on the way to the office. You know, it was a life changer for me too

when they invented cannoli chips. I don't even know what the fuck that is. So rather than like sitting there eating like a cannoli dick, you know, they just give you a tub of the cream. And you just dip it. Yeah, cannoli dip. All right, yeah. I was thinking of canola.

I'm like, what's the better healthy chips? Yeah, the chips, so good. But yeah, if you're, if food is where you're leaning, I will like hand up. I probably, I would have to be honest with myself and say I'm a trash food person. Here's my final question for you. All right, it is on the food line, growing up or now,

did you have milk with dinner? Oh, garbage trash. All right, both of them. That's it. London broil, mac and cheese, and like a pint glass of old milk. KFC radio, baby. Come on. One of the milk men.

I love it. That's dry. That's it for me. There you go. That's what, that's what put it over the idea. I don't know exactly what number, but you're in the, you're in the trash half for sure. My brother would eat craft singles cheese

with a bag of wise potato chips and a glass of milk. That was his fucking snack. I just need my blood run cold. He doesn't like it. He thinks milk with dinner. Milk with dinner is fucking psychopath shit. I kind of, I kind of like grew out of it a little bit, but every now and then I'll do it.

Like, I'll do like, like meatballs and spaghetti with milk. That's big. Fuck yeah, see. Everybody loves spaghetti with it. I mean, I'll do milk with some of those old school meals and it just, when it's ice cold, you feel it run through your chest. That's it. Right there.

Fuck it and gotta buy you. Trash, babe. I'm almost happy. You don't want to be, you don't want to be called crazy. You were putting up a show when you first came in. I saw the legs crossed at one point, sitting back, relaxing. Mac and cheese and a glass of fucking, glass of whole milk.

That's trash. I love it. I'm honored. I'm honored. Buddy, thank you so much. Is there anything you want the folks out there to know before you get out of here? We got a new app out.

Answer the internet. Yeah. It's a game that we, we took all the questions that we've been asked on our podcast for the last decade and we put it into a card game that you can also buy. We turned it into a YouTube series with comics and celebrities coming through answering these crazy hypothetical questions and now we turned it into an app.

So you can download the app for free and you can buy decks of questions. Very, it's kind of like, we're coming for like the cards against humanity crap. And I feel like we're kind of taking over that, that genre, that market. So download the Answer the Internet app. It's on, it's on the, it's in the app store. We don't do the Google play because that's trash.

Yeah. You got an Android, you're poor. If you got green text messages, just don't text me. How about that? Rash. Keep it moving. What do you got for him, Kip? Guys, just again, make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.

Keep us in the top 200 as well as full video available on, available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well. And I'm at Kevin Ryan comedy on all social media. Very nice. At age Foley and Ice and Foley Graham's on Instagram. Just want to do a quick shout out to a couple of special listeners. Shout out to Brian and Salisbury Beach and shout out to Mr. Ryan Patrick and his girl up there in Columbus.

Guys, thank you so much. Taking money for those? Hey, hey, hey. What the fuck was that? That's a first. Somebody greasing you to do shout outs? Let me wet my feet. They're either getting paid or that someone's dying or something.

Something's going on. I don't make a wish or something. We've never done that. I can't be nice to the fans. Somebody has to be very generous. Something's up. I know you. You're not nice.

I know you. Hey, we would love to have you guys on KC Radio if you want to come by the Barstall office too. Of course, I'd love to do it our way. Thank you so much for doing the show, gang. We will see you guys next time here on Are You Garbage? Bye-bye.