Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - KFC from Barstool Returns to Answer Your Questions!

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows   PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://Lucy.co Promo Code: GARBAGE https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE https://www.KushyDreams.com Promo Codd: GARBAGE  Subscribe on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-you-garbage-comedy-podcast/id1499140700 Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/   Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.   Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage it's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find a figure to be classy or just a big old piece of trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful spring day we're down here at Anthony's basement the patreon has gone straight to her head yeah we have a little bit of a

situation I can't wait I'm just gonna tell you okay now that you've opened these doors okay people are gonna expect to have a certain lifestyle moving forward I gotta I gotta pay for her month to month you gotta pay for her all right because I've been paying for you month to month this whole time I got a little bit more news for you what she walked out of the acne what she saw you quit your day job so she wants to quit her day job yeah okay so we really got by a couple of tickets to see us in india chicago hit the patreon money more problems yeah buddy you're telling me she's got this lackey that she's

bringing around this guy Donnie so he's gonna need to be on the take to we got a broom for him to push around all right how long is this buddy I give you a leeway to write your own to do that come on gang that is my co-host that you hear my boss really yeah all right this guy saved me in vietnam 5149 I'm like I'm like fucking Portnoy over here baby I want it all gang give it up for Kevin James Ryan everybody what's up gang thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and as you know those numbers are true to roof true to fucking roof and then patreon.com

I gotta say I thought YouTube was cooking patreon is fucking cooking baby head over there you get bonus episodes at a YG you get episodes of hard feelings which is just me and foley behind the curtain a little bit mixing it up shitting on each other I call him fatty calls me bald it's a good fucking time and then every month we do a live stream with our top two tiers where you ask us questions we ask you questions get involved come on and hang out with this gang we love you and we also love our producer extraordinaire who I would like to give a quick shout out sure by May give it up for our good pal the pride

of the Chicago comedy scene we're in a shrimp daddy t-shirt give it up for T-Bone McMuffin T-Bone what up boys what's up happy to have you back bro you look at me with such disdain because no it's nine times out of ten I'm getting a shot my voice cracked like a 14-year-old I'm obviously I've been out of the game for one week I got fucking no skills I got no chops yeah I feel like I feel like I'm under the guns KFC's looking to make a fucking star Instagram it's a standout the barrel of fucking nine million views daily and I've got to fucking be funny right off the cuff come on let me warm up let me put the

fucking doughnut on the bat man this kid playing it cool all right some move take a walk catch a burning or something eat your heart out of Paul Newman this kid's ice cold it's good to be back you just referred to Paul Newman I love Paul Newman anyway listen gang this is a fucking family episode we got a little company in the building as T-Bone said we got a little fucking star power yeah okay if you have not seen his episode go back and check it out it's absolutely amazing he's a bit of an enigma why be calm and explain it first I want to let everybody know that he's one of the stars of barstool sports he's

the host of KFC radio he's the host of the Kevin Clancy show and he's the brains behind and the host of one-minute man videos which are absolutely fucking fantastic he breaks something down in one minute they're amazing and he's got a brand new project coming out called 10 topics in 10 minutes it's a new series it's gonna be more of that it's absolutely fantastic you would think he's a classy guy tight body good-looking kid but it has as well compared to him you got a tight body you gotta tell you you're very humble about that and he's walking in his own merch which is fantastic you look like a

Lulu lemon but that shows that he's trash he's hawking his merch on our show but it's good stuff you know what no you know what it it's it's not even that it again I it is trash because I just only wear my own shit now yeah it's like samples and maybe some sponsor clothing yeah I'll be a regular shit that the one sleeves longer I have not fucking bought clothes and I don't think I ever will again but also you eat Oreos with a fork classy gobs no you eat gobs of peanut butter out of the container you no problems what's the problem and you decorate your Christmas tree with Mets blanket it's a bill that's just a

while I didn't decorate the tree instead of doing a tree skirt I did a Mets blanket you had a Mets hoodie on top of your tree what I did have is a piece of my blinds sure rammed up the back of the tree and also he only decorated the front of the tree true that great in the back nobody sees it you showed us so that's what I mean when I say your enigma ladies and gentlemen give it up for Mr. Kevin Clay yeah part of the credit say you got to put that on a card carrying patreon member he can cut the lights at any minute if you want I always like to hear from the board any suggestions hey every shareholder

gets a second are you garbage incorporated you're not buying the company folks you're buying a family a big old trashy family episode here we are we're doing we're doing some Q's family episode family I'm watching that show on a HBO mayor of Easttown I can't I try to can't get behind it it's just but the access the access are they are they good or bad like from your point of view is that like the first the first time she tried to drop it she was in the kitchen at that old Broad's house and she said like damn it was too hot it was too bad or you're critiquing Kate Winslet is that what's happening right

true you might we might have to walk out one jacket Nike t-shirt I'm not I'm not saying she's a bad actress girls got chops I'm just game Kate Winslet I'm just saying it's a little in the home and the family she hit some of some of them yeah I can't believe they made a TV show about coach so that that blows my fucking mind I think it's pretty good but but the accents I heard I heard a lot of like Philly friends of mine being like I taught you do it's tough you don't realize my mom sounds and my nieces and I'm going back to New York it's it's like divine intervention that you guys call it a hoagie and have that accent oh hey

in a coat bad tough look dude it's a fucking real yeah real tough I also want to say shout out you've been a big supporter of us from the beginning I got recognized at the airport and I was like yo hey Kate he came up he's a kind take a picture of how'd you hear about the shows at KFC I was like well that might be how some people initially heard of it but I wax poetic every time I talk about you guys you say it in the intro it's everybody's new favorite favorite new podcast and it really is I mean so humble it's too humble it's hard to make I should be flexing on people I've been I got nothing to flex I'm skinny

fat see you keep you keep saying that you you're a good looking do you like a movie star I mean I like movie star good looking I think he could pull it off what do you mean maybe an indie maybe a horror I think DeStefano it might have been Chrissy D might have said he said it's about Fidelberg or someone said about Chris oh yeah man face yeah I mean I appreciate it but I I would I am telling people now when new people come to Barstool or just new personalities whatever they're talking about me making content and for the most part I usually tell them don't make a podcast because I think it's kind of too

late I think it's over saturated there's a lot yeah and I would say that you know but you guys kind of like defy that I mean you guys came in and it's in a point where every comic already has a show and everybody's got a podcast and everybody's got their rotation and you guys cracked in in a major way and like and are growing faster than anyone anyone else I would tell them kind of do like one minimum make a Instagram account make a social media yeah trying to do quick blah blah blah because the idea of like another one hour show podcast about comedy or whatever yeah but but but you guys got the goods and you got a

great hook for it so defying the trends if you will it's amazing I've been towing with with going influencer I've been thinking I am currently only with the tea scrubs on I'm putting a team together right now trying to get a flight to Ibiza you gotta hit the TH oh really now there's Delta fly there here go there what's going on can I get a south blitz we gotta get fully on yacht week you guys are see out week no what is it I want to go in like 2009 this was when we first I know our next patriarchal if you guys that's it we got a little bit of

action so this is what happens we're gonna run a crabbing boat is there jumping out I got a bunch of hand lines out with bunker on the end can we rent one of those boats from deadly is catch or something like that the Cornelia Marie at the big taken take her down to Florida we're talking right there guys the Patriots canceled fully get crushed by a crap falling stuck in a crap but don't you know that thing don't you do it I wouldn't last ten minutes on that deck dude those guys ripped the hardest burnies on that fucking show they got the big rubber gloves I'm like you're getting the

seat what's going on here in the middle of the North Arctic trying to fucking rip a Marble I that's buddy those dude they're not Marble like kind of guys those are either full-flavor menthol dude yeah they're definitely hundreds this new menthol bands gonna be tough for those guys like what's going on in menthol six they're banning men all cigarettes being that it's like they're saying it's like a flavor yeah right what are people gonna do for their cough that's what I do when I'm not feeling I get a newbie open her up a little bit a couple of ports but hold on I go back to what's yeah so yeah we this was probably 2009

or 10 I first got like Ryan no no no no fuck fuck right right right the night to me you talk about the dating app oh really on the wait list oh you bozo you're talking me up you're telling no I can't even get on fucking Raya so listen this so all of a sudden this video came out it was like yacht week is like this it's like a company and they put out like a trailer uh-huh try to find like go to YouTube this is yacht week yeah go to go to YouTube though and like find like there's like one video that's probably like it's kind of it's probably like what's like what they try to do with what was the island fire festival yes

where they always like this is all your wildest dreams so this video though it had like the new techno song that was out at the moment EDM playing beautiful girls you know drone shots and all of us we all kind of found it at the same time this all sounds like me and it was I mean we were like this is the greatest thing of course you know what do you go there what is it and so you it's it's rather expensive but I think you basically you have to get like a crew together like 10 or 12 people whatever like this boat fits and you rent the boat like a boat like a sailboat and I think you can do it where like you can

sail yourself or you if you need a crew to pay for that and you go either to Ibiza or the Mediterranean and Croatia there's a couple different spots you can do it and you're with like a fleet of other you probably go like boat to boat yeah banging hook is and I think in practice it becomes a little bit of like a sausage festival it's a bunch of guys be like we're gonna go you know the video is girls making out with chicks and they're all beautiful I think you go and it's kind of like a spring break thing where it's like well all the dudes came in looking for one thing the girls didn't show up yeah but mom's there yeah

I know I can't go without a chaperone okay you guys did Casey Casey Smith went on yeah week when she first came to Barstool she got she earned the nickname Ibiza Casey because because like at Barstool we don't really do vacations like Portnoy's one of those guys like you can take a vacation if you want I didn't for the first 10 years but okay you know so that's a lot of time we're gonna start throwing out around I told him he doesn't get any sick days either we didn't take one for the first 11 yeah I still haven't taken a vacation yeah so but she missed like the first her like first week was like that's okay and I

yeah I'll be back in like two weeks and yeah week but I she said it was amazing but yeah if you guys get that sounds pretty classy you know 10,000 this whatever you guys going yacht week holy shit what kind of numbers we talking I don't think I know 10 people yes I don't quite know exactly I've never looked into the logistics I think it's actually not that bad I mean there's a there's definitely a fucking low hanging we're gonna need a boat can I bring my old can I bring my old man is the yacht Parkinson's accessible maybe captain he'll be a skipper I'm back to you we're not having him in charge of the boat get the

big guy in the back with a couple of English they would they would be like they'd be like your money's like taking money we gotta do something on a boat though that's the next thing because also so we just hit the we just hit the full on patreon Foley's not always never been in a limo right ever right now so now we're going we're going out to the one there's a McDonald's on Long Island in the mansion I don't know if you know that of course we're gonna I don't know if this might be news the T-bone to we're taking that we're all getting dressed up in suits and we're going out to fucking the mansion the McDonald's

mansion be the limo driver we're getting middle hat on and everything that's pretty good driver I'll have a cheese pizza waiting for you like Kevin McAllister I like it you know you know how to get to fully do you currently have your TLC license and we'll need some reference work you know he's got barstool behind him yeah um fuck that's great yeah we're gonna get a couple ladies of the evening to hmm I want like some old hookers yeah like some real old disgusting yeah we're gonna spend more money on the suits yeah we could bring my mom's what could bring our moms get them all dolled up Jesus Christ he's

like we're gonna bring some old horse how about our mom's yeah well my mom's open that day I think family price have we hit this or is this the next goal we hit it so this is happening we have that and then we also have to do the the honeymoon getaway which will in the Poconos in the Martini glass and the heart-shaped yeah okay okay which I went to when they're fucking disgusting trash I once went to I went for a nose and the only thing I remember there was those like heart shape it was a family reunion type we don't do that but there was like one time where we met with like cousins and you did the other cousins dude and

you're like what we did who are you and we only ever did it once yeah we don't we're I'm a very like even my aunts and uncles like it's just me my mom my dad was just a brother like very tight that's it but we went and the only thing I remember was there like a Caesar's in the Poconos yeah yeah there was right yeah I don't know if it's still there but there was I remember a roller skating rink you know it's like this is at the time I was like this is cool looking back I was like we are deplorable we are disgusting yeah what are we doing if you're not even at the Caesar's in Atlantic City right a tough look which is

trash to begin with but if you're like my it's only it's 50 bucks cheap in a Poconos the Atlantic City man I feel like I went to a bachelor party a couple years ago at Atlantic City I feel like if you go to Atlantic City now you have to do it embracing the garbage of course by the way you know I mean Atlantic City live show there we go over there at the celebrity theater come see us get some that I you know I feel like if you go and you're like okay we're gonna go to I think it's bear exposure where you can like bring the 30 you roll in with the beers yeah yeah but like we went on a bachelor party where it was like okay

first night yeah bear exposure I think it's go there and it's like you put it's BYOB and it's like it's a real fucking real dirtbag hole in the wall there's like one rule no penetration and that's even yeah real handsy in AC but but you know if you go one rule no kiss we don't look her in the eyes either turn your right to stone if you go being like you know we're like we're gonna do a nice dinner the first night and we're gonna go to club the next night so guys yeah none of this is nice no you gotta embrace the garbage you're all lying to yourself right at that point right I figured you know we could you know get up

early and we'll hit you shut the fuck up yeah that plays like a car mines or something that are you do a big attack a big home for the home style or family style come in that we come heavy don't be like a couple bumper gumbers wandering around the casino at one o'clock in the morning see if anybody can straighten his out you come ready for those kind of make sure I'm packing or don't come at all any a Tylenol pms yeah let's get into some fucking questions baby we've got a family up here we got some heaters speaking of casinos this is pretty good guys so as you know when you join the patreon we will answer your garbage

question on the air best way to do it this is from max are have you or anyone in your family ever taken an infant zero to three years old to Las Vegas no my family you have yeah yeah yeah my brother my little brother went my dad got married you said what what's the age limit zero to three or like a child yeah child which is garbage it's garbage wording by the way what zero to three yeah yeah I mean you go to Las Vegas if you are the only way you should be a three-year-old in Las Vegas is if somehow you were born in Las Vegas exactly yeah or your kid or you're being trafficked yeah I mean that is some

garbaggio and just like who who wants to do that I mean that means that at times you're just leaving your kid alone he's wandering the shore floor the casino yeah yeah yeah or you got your other big-headed kid watching the kid in the hotel room at the fucking crap if I if I ever do kids in Vegas you know what I'm thinking about making this switch in general well I like this yeah Americans don't do it too much I think we should the kids on a leash oh what that's a tough look dude no way it's so convenient what I don't have kids so I don't know but your kids are too old to be running away in like a chest you know

it's like yeah they're not a fucking little like bungee cord but man it would be nice to just be like I'm at the table honey all right she's wrapped up in the chairs I would hope not yeah you're not but you're allowed to they're allowed to be like I remember what the fuck is there for a kid to do in Vegas like what is like circus circus there's a lot of those shows circus circus is a casino for kids or not a casino is a hotel casino for kids step right in one starburst wins every pry any prize and he's I'll see you two fruits next the least thing is rather rather this is practical he's got these fucking kids

run around there's you can run out in the street you could get kidnapped you could get this I could just yank you I remember Josh Wolf telling me a story when he was a single dad you know his whole background where he was raising these kids on his own it was sure I could imagine he told me he used to put these kids on leashes where it was almost like Hannibal Lecter where like they could run right up to the stove and he had it so that they couldn't get they couldn't reach each other so they would be at like they'd run at each other and try to attack and they couldn't reach it like fighting fish and fucking beta fish

you put that one in a separate tank she bit the other ones take clean off what once you're outnumbered with kids I mean I've always heard people say like you have your first kid and you can your as parents you can double team them and then you have two kids and you play man-to-man and then when you got to switch to zone defense when they outnumbered wow that's a good way to put it you know so I'm just gonna chain them all up I'm gonna keep them right in my fucking I'm gonna yank you around I say or or perhaps not go to Las Vegas yeah hang on there partners let's talk real real quick here all right about our new

sponsor bespoke post spring's coming getting back outdoors summer's coming bespoke post has all your adventure all your top of the line needs okay with their box of awesome you got to get it brand new box of awesome collection for guys guaranteed to upgrade your life all right and this is whether you like going out and taming the wilderness being an outdoor guy or you're trying to take your home bar to fucking pro levels yeah bespoke post only sends guys the best stuff every single month no matter what you're into their box awesome as you covered from style grooming goods you got barware you got cooking tools you

got outdoor gear their box of awesome has collections for everybody in every part of your life yeah they sent us a box of shit a little box of shit I got it me and my wife open up like it was fucking Christmas morning baby they sent us a knife with a fucking cool case I feel like I'm fucking crocodile Dundee build the cabin with it we got a knife we got a duffel bag that I'm taking out on the road because I needed a new duffy to be called dibs on the duffel called nice dog called dibs on the duff nice dog it's got like a metal ring it's like we said before it's cool guy shit you're getting a bunch of cool guy if you're

not a cool guy you're trying to be a cool guy they make you a fucking cool guy yeah it's not like I got the short end of the stick either I got the hammock and I got the tent yes so to get started take a quiz at boxofawesome.com your answers will help them pick the right box they want to know what you're into for you though new boxes every month the tons of different category it's free to sign up you can skip a month canceled anytime and you want to you want to hear the kicker this is not each box only costs 45 bucks but has over $70 worth of gear inside cool guy shit that's what we're talking about get 20% off your

first box your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com and enter our promo code garbage check out that's boxofawesome.com use promo code garbage for 20% off your first box do it today hey gang 2020 was a rough year and 2021 is just as bonkers baby the world is a crazy place that's why our good friends at cushy dreams can help baby yeah good friends the good guys over there cushy dreams specialize in high quality smokable CBD and CBD helps with depression anxiety pain relief flight inflammation and so much more cushy dreams extraordinary CBD rich hemp flower comes in one eighth ounce cans

pre-roll joints it's cannabis that chips directly to you and directly to all 50 states or wherever you are you can get it what they got they offer specific indicates a TV strains that deliver desired effects including relax create hustle peace energy and dream let me tell you this big guy likes it everybody knows my my CBD journey okay it really helped me out nothing helps me out better than cushy all right let me tell you why why is that because it is the strains you get up in the morning take a couple of pulls off a little hustle get you going keeps you focused fucking ride right through the morning man fantastic

end of the day feel anxious want to get a good night's sleep take a couple rips off the dreams yeah the flower tastes absolutely amazing there's no state everything's fresh it tastes fresh it's light it's unbelievable the pre-rolled ones are fantastic I'm telling you you pulled down half one of those it's clean living for the evening you got to get on this man yeah guys so check it out go to cushydreams.com that's kushy.com at checkout use our promo code garbage for 20% off your next order baby free shipping on orders over $20 smoke your CBD with promo code garbage for 20% off today go to cushydreams.com kushydreams.com

hey gang want to talk to you about our new sponsor Lucy nicotine Lucy nicotine is a company founded by Caltech scientists and former smokers looking for a better and cleaner nicotine alternative couple of brainiacs on the case finally a tobacco alternative that doesn't suck yeah all right this guy spent three years researching okay creating the product for people not patients they cared about the human being Lucy has created a nicotine gum with four milligrams of nicotine that comes in three amazing flavors you got wintergreen you got cinnamon oh yeah if you want to go a little fruity what you

got pomegranate what are you gonna do what are you gonna do pomegranate don't even stop there baby that's class maybe you don't like the gum you like a lozenge you get a four milligram lozenge of nicotine cherry ice flavor cherry ice old-school baby back to the street each flavor is great taste awesome it's convenient to screen products it can be enjoyed anywhere on flights on work on the go Jim whatever you want to do you know what's think no one's got to know they sent us some and I gotta tell you I've been trying to you know I've been on the burnies been off the burnies been trying to kick them back on them back

in everything it definitely helps give it a try it definitely helps with the urges everything like that it's I mean you can't be smoking burnies forever you got to do something give it a whirl and I know a lot of our listeners smoke them guys it's 2021 you got to get rid of your cigs unplugged the vape throw out the dip and get some Lucy nicotine gum or lozenges it's the real deal a subscription to Lucy comes directly to your door each month it's simple easy you don't have to leave your house Lucy comes straight to the source are you garbage listeners go to Lucy dot co and use promo code garbage to get 20% 20% off all products on

your first order including gum or lozenges that's Lucy dot co use promo code garbage at checkout also guys I have to tell you give you the disclaimer warning this product contains nicotine derived from tobacco nicotine is an addictive chemical but you probably know that get off the burnies go to Lucy dot co and be sure to use that promo code garbage baby now beaks now back to the show don't go to Vegas that's youth you so you we're trying no I was tan I was 11 my dad was getting remarried that was the 90s though you could have got jacked at any day nobody there was a there was my younger brother your entertainment was like a

proper baby yeah like he was like maybe two and what was so that's crazy I think even bring you how old you it's not for my dad to get my dad to get married in Vegas they were getting married we were all in the wedding which was a not I forget his question but have you ever been in your parents wedding it's a tough fucking look being like a fucking 37 year old ring bearer whatever little kippy and Elvis yeah I'm strutting up dog I'm strutting up the aisle get up down to jail house rock don't fuck up your lines this time either Vegas is tough you should only go to Vegas with your bolt like a fucking party or gamble or

whatever like very families in Vegas shouldn't be happening now but hey I am what I am that's a good one to keep in the fucking roll of decks there of cards I can't remember where I saw this it was either the Facebook group or it was a patreon or something but somebody was talking about watching your parents drink with strangers like when you're a kid that's really what ends up happening in those like strangers that you don't know where they don't know they don't talk like them hanging out with people at the bar where you're like you're like you're at the bar too you know I was a bar kid I was a bar kid I would always

sneak up to the bar yeah a fucking maraschino cherries yeah but it was always for me it was always at like a like we had this little it's called like the yacht club on City Island the Bronx it's just like where people put their fucking boat sure but I we were not on yacht week I know that now for sure not but I was never just like you know mom and dad were at like the fucking pub and it was like you know we were we were there you were there for family or whatever yeah the bar happened to be there and so you see the milling around with some characters but I think when you're like let's go to the bar and pack the kids up

yeah that's you know that's a that's a you're crossing a line there to another you know yeah some people do some people don't but it is definitely a different thing than seeing you know at the at the benignans you know mom and dad at the ground round yeah shout out to the ground round over that that's come up a couple of times is there is there those are gone those I think there's might be some in the south we found out okay so still alive is there a replace like I remember outside was where you paid your weight or something right it was like a penny a pound they ran it for a minute until the Foley's rolled up I've

had to make that same job I for sure have made that you through that I've gotten I have three jokes and they're all about Foley's weight or his family the the benignans ground round there was one it was a place called staking ale I look that sounds like a little bit staking ale they're all the same company and for a while they were all fucking fantastic what's next what's now though because I do like the fucking well it's a little more real yeah it's like bone it's like they've gotten better at making cat nicer stuff casual right like bonefish grilled cheesecake factory that's a little what benignans is now

no I don't know come on I think like these poor bastards these kids growing up in this generation now you're never gonna know the ground round life if you're gonna if you're gonna look back and be oh remember when the family went to cheese cake factory it's like yeah oh there was another member hula hands with the fucking checkered tables shut out the whole a guy smoking next to you drinking out of those pills their glasses yeah that's clean there what's there's one doing on your mouth whatever there was another big one was fud rocker do you remember fud rocker I know that this is what he's talking about

that's when you started across the line with fucking fud rockers when all the sudden it became a fucking Broadway show I hate that I want some joint at lunch time where I'm eating with my aunt where there's fucking some guy that just lost his job at the bar for a nurse at a fucking cutty sark fucking chop Caesar salads going around stuffed mushrooms mozzarella sticks and the fucking Shirley P's are on point that's what I want Pablo Picasso yeah right his master right I don't want the fucking hard rack cafe you're whatever what wait wait a little bit like the chains the the Applebee's the chili we talk about a lot

so it's like I we've talked I think they're more than any of yeah well I think I might have told this or not I don't know I'm banned from Applebee's like in the North America I don't know exactly how much there was one Applebee's that banned me and it was like your band for life something tells me there's cybersecurity yeah probably isn't gonna you know it's like getting banned from a stadium it's like there's no way you can enforce this but we went to an Applebee's we were doing the toboggan championship in Maine in Boston for Barstool we went out and filmed a video where we tried to toboggan to the championship and there

was a Applebee's and we were there all day and they have a rule that's like you can only have like six drinks total I do remember but I was like lady we've been here for like eight hours so it's like I'm not we're not shit-faced whatever they're like sorry so we left and we just like came back when they were like now you're banned for life because like now you're trying to fuck they were like I was some manager he doesn't even work there anymore but those don't the chain doesn't have the same effect either I feel like you know there's one in New England calling 90 the 99 or something like that there's a couple that I've

seen those 99 it's like a horseshoe or something maybe yeah that's they're all regional but those places are my oh what else we got yeah let's see wait real quick before we move on flood rockers just as hot dogs what about that is a Broadway show I don't know the name all the stuff in there actually they were singing like a cold stone or something yeah I did get that vibe to that they put on a performance for you you just meant that the hot dogs is too much of bells and whistles huh he's so opinion on things that he has no idea I've never actually been there of course dude that is that is the epitome of the show but

we never went to places like that so fuck them yeah see this is it whatever came up we're not going to I took cuz I was like I know the name flood ruggers but I've never been there I'll take your word for it yeah this man sounds like he knows now I'm sure it's a fantastic it's no hula hams I can tell you that sonic you that's on it we were just talking about this I think last week it fucking stinks everything misses there's only one nearby here right like Jersey I think there's probably one in Jersey we always see the commercials fucking it's everybody we can't even go there who's fucking where they get in

this advertising money for them that you're advertising in markets that you don't even have a fucking TV ain't what it used to be and then one no this is in the 90s I know you guys are just we're flaming this place right now but you two should be the new sonic guys those guys those every time I know we love to replace them I'm wishing one of them would blow each other's head off why are two grown men in a car then a fucking business week having lunch and they be at the office what's going on we literally just did that on Monday it's gonna say before you go down to just having lunch did we have I don't know

just in general before we go down the road of view criticizing the behavior of two grown men yeah just you know welcome to our garbage literally in a glass house right now so let's be careful who has a milkshake on a Wednesday they're milkshakes are good fun rockers no okay next one this this might be kfc have you ever this is from Athena have you ever worn sweatpants on a date brother I'm wearing I wore sweatpants to work today those aren't sweatpants buddy those are those are sweatpants now they're not I do know what he's saying so right they're not wearing fucking a pair of rustles yeah yeah that's right

now date a time have you ever worn something on a date that you shouldn't have worn on a date yeah definitely if you matter if you matter five o'clock on a Saturday for a drink I could see you popping in with that yeah way yeah down at Cooper's down a fucking knees no no I would not do that I would do like I guess it depends on your definition of date if I've ever been like let's go out there for drinks or dinner I probably put a slack on I'm a little bit of gas I was thinking about it I was looking up slacks the other day slacks yeah man are we talking like you like the crease down the middle and the bottom oh yeah with

I want to get really into nice shoes to like Ferragamo type shoes I don't know just whatever I don't know I want to start dressing like De Niro in the Irishman I be honest with you nice short-sleeved shoes the new money trash that's gonna come from oh I can't wait and already it's already happening I've seen you know these guys get a little bit of scrilla next thing you know they're wearing slacks and Ferragamo I'm deep into crypto currency too I just bought two sauna blankets I've done like pair sweatpants what I I love the wave that we're on right now this like athleisure wear wave I mean I got these lounge

pants I got these sweatshirts where it's like you could wear it to the gym like I'm not going to fucking gym you could wear it to work you could wear it to the bar you could wear it out I'm like then okay I'm gonna take if that's what that's what they're doing I'm gonna take your word you wear that out too would you if your buddies were like hey we're meeting up for drinks around like six five or six yes you wear that so like that's what I was gonna say I probably have met a girl at a bar on the weekend like a Sunday fun day like meet me at the bar so is that a date probably not but I definitely have gone you're trying to

impress her yes I have been in a situation where I'm meeting a girl that I am interested in that I'm trying to impress that I have worn yes sweatpants for sure sorry my kickball game just ended direct team one that these Zog sports fucking show up at the bar yeah I did the whatever dude I could see you getting so fired up about like a three-legged race like a family event with your kids like fighting another dad come on run no I am I am important like like football I what's going on still got your flags on oh fuck I forgot my flags on I've been taking my son I take my son to

soccer on Saturdays these days and so I'm getting my first taste of like other dads yeah kids and shit so like that I mean he's these three we're not playing soccer we're just fucking around yeah running around the but there's some kids wearing like you know shin guards and cleats and where like a soccer kid vapors on or whatever yeah find out how to really fucking fucked up people are yeah right his dad's and mom's and shit I don't want to be that I could never be that like Earl Woods type of dad I'm like you're just gonna be average you know oh yeah like I was thinking maybe by you know by now Tiger was fucking on

the fairway you know and I'm like at the driving range I'm like I'm like three thank you that's what I was on tonight show it to that's what I mean it's like kid has more credits than you if you want to you know you want to like have your kid be like great in life you gotta like start doing that shit at this age I'm like I just don't do yeah he can be showing like KFC's thrown in the town yeah he's fucking 36 months in sorry kid I'm like I don't want to do that so you're not you know he could be showing me signs of like brilliant fucking talents and I'd be like well I don't know yeah we're just gonna hang on a

thermos and some work gloves yeah I got you know apprenticeship in the actual union they got good Benny's now give me my sweat pants I gotta go to work happy fucking happy fucking fourth birthday you're a steam fitter now to join local to you on you that's great I'm a bad father next question this one's just hilarious he ain't gonna make this is how much driving you doing with your knee the way they ask the questions are so good here's the thing when you're driving with your knee that seats back way too far than it should be your seats are crying too far older cars Mike should my loom shout out to the

fucking Chevy loom rest in peace big knee cuz you were like I was Neil I can I I would merge I am a better driver with my knee than I am with my hand yeah yeah my left knee I can I can I'll drive anywhere any place like I'm spinning the whole wheel that's fucking garbage I mean I'm so trash and I'm like I'm texting I'm tweeting I'm putting up one minute man I mean I edited a video the day well I'm driving a Hyundai Tucson that's fully operated by the human and I'm sitting there I mean you know it's it's I'm a big-time knee driver that's a tough I didn't think that was garbage shit no that's that's what you know it's

funny when the real ultimate learning the ultimate garbage epiphanies is when you didn't even know things for garbage sure yeah I do that and reverse engineered a little bit you're like oh fuck that's I would have been like fuck yeah driving my knee that's cool and everyone else is like that makes you a loser yeah yeah yeah the that the leg up when people like girls do this a lot they have like a little bit like a leg I would do that my leg would be to the left my foot would be to the left of the steering wheel so I do yeah I'm garbage it was a 96 Chevy Lumina with the painful wait how far do you put your

leg up would you put your leg on I would put my leg on the dashboard no that's crazy yeah that's crazy I'm a little man people do that on the passenger side to that's garbage my wife does it I'm like get your fuck of course so I got that brand new key by the way shout out to the good folks over at North Star Auto Group show Bob like get your fucking feet off my dashboard those dogs down I put my foot on on the door there's like a little like slanted you know on the door you have like a little yeah thing to put your stuff in your foot in there and I don't put it on I put it on it but it goes like yeah there's a and I just kind

of drive like this but all the way up on yeah yeah that's all trash when you see those people like you're driving normal and you see a dog hanging out the window like toes flapping in the wind it's a tough luck dude tough look have one of these cookies of course of course teasing me this next one's from diamond I we've touched about this but I'm in diamond where can I see you dance coming to the stage that their pleasure their exposure their pleasure is a gate is a gate that a dance club either way I'm gonna say both sound like a good time do for one is it garbage to bathe with just a bar of soap to the skin and no wash

cloth that's that's well no please I was gonna say as I've I've learned in my internet travels that's not as much of a class or trash thing that is a ethnic thing that's a big time white people thing white people go straight bar yeah yeah people don't use washcloths and I am guilty of that I never even considered it I think it just adds to your laundry and it's not necessary but what about the scrunchies the loofahs yeah not your trash if you called it scrunch no cuz a loofah is made of like is made of like actual loofah whatever that is yeah the stuff that looks like ramen noodles yeah okay

yeah scrunchies those things you buy CVS the little balls like a sponge it's no it's it well it's it's kind of a loofah like a dirty pan yellow and green sponges I just got steel wool in my shit you got an SOS pads get your fucking your horns off your feet I think a deeper question is do you do bar or body wash I'm Irish spring all day long oh wow that's I mean you have not graduated college you're still in your dorm I just bought it actually I just ran out of the green you got to knock it off I mean green if you're buying blue Irish spring get the fuck out of my face oh are you kidding me now you got to go

blue blue yes oh the blue listen first of all I probably like code red what is it the blue is the classy within the the garbage world of Irish spring sport the blue is the what is the blue what's called something you know it's probably like cool and yeah yeah yeah definitely I I went classic I used to love taking showers in a girl's place so you start dating a girl oyster blast I think I'm old-school give me the tough stuff put some fucking hair in your chest see some cracks on this I used to love when you either start dating a girl or you're you're hooking up with her enough consistently you shower at her

place you know I mean you walk into a girl shower nothing better the bells and whistles it's like flood rockers you got a whole fucking performance you got you got the scrunchies the lose all the stars I know girl she has this this it looks like it looks like a goddamn sex toy you push a button and it spins around I mean it's all it's it's that's clean living I got on this and they have these terms you know the body butter it's not even body wash it's like yeah the butter spray and all these things and then you can't go back to your garbage spring support just the girls bedroom like that is fucking

fantastic smells appearances in the creeper hour just even a girl's bedroom sometimes a sniffer pillow key this is about garbage all right not restraining orders I know what he's talking about my apartment so garbage I just I've like come to this realization recently like when I so I got divorced and I was kind of like we got an apartment because it looks big it is big it's like a two family house type of thing okay two family you know I've just seen it on Instagram yeah and it's like three bedrooms big but I like when I got divorced and moved out and I like I was I just was like I just need a fucking

roof over my head like whatever and I want to make sure the kids were all set so everything was kind of going to them and now it's been a little while and I'm like yeah upgrade yeah well it's just like I still have like all the old furniture and the like I never even cared about like we're okay here's a good one where where what's your bed frame situation bed headboard yeah frame all that stuff we have enough for we got one a couple years ago I guess when we moved in together we got an affordable one from Ikea it's like it's not the headboard it's all what in it's like yeah it's like there's a headboard and

it's all together with like legs right yours you're a parent you're making me real nervous yeah I got like you're even you have the thing with the wheels the metal frame with the wheels I don't have wheels but I have a metal frame you know and it yeah and it was like the one that like bends and snap like no it's not quite like that but I and then I have for the headboard is like um metal boxes metal it's like a little metal arc that has like you know it sounds medieval I don't know it's like it's like thin yeah it's like I think it's black and it's got like a little like it looks like like crystal yeah it was the last

thing I was worried about in the moment but now I'm like you know maybe it's time to have a real fucking I just don't care about you the kids are starting asking questions why does daddy like what's daddy's place fucking what's their homeless shelter what's their rooms like are they hooked up are they nice yeah like dad I mean they have beautiful like one has a race car bed she has like this leather pullout bed thing that's amazing like so they're all set and you've got the night's couch and the coffee table in the good TV right no well the kids trash the kid here's the I kept my mouth shut on the

Hyundai listen now we're still I have more than Hyundai money here's what I got Kia money brother you have at least Ford focus money why are you driving like like a cutlass or a Buick or something before no no no no that wasn't you no also sure I wish you just get a new car because you're broke down yeah so they they gave me like a loner in a while they were fixing it and it was the owner it's always a car on the back or what's going on let me tell you what happened website on the back of your car for any time look whatever the Hyundai like the best Hyundai SUV is okay and it was my car was fucked so it was like a like a

month they had to order new parts and have a ship and COVID so I had this like very nice as far as you got a lease baby I know but I had this like a month and then it came time to like give it back and I just like wasn't answering the phone for a few weeks I was kind of like you know they're like we're looking Mr. Glancy we're like we're looking for you to return your this that so I had the other one a few weeks it was like two weeks yeah my dad did that with enterprise rent a car dude they came knocking one eventually we ain't fucking around they got like my brother's number they were the fucks your dad

with this Dodge neon he just liked it for some reason he had a nicer car but he just like zipping around a little go-kart wait a minute sorry so then in the living room I had a coffee table and wait did you give the car back yeah I'm actually gonna come back and I know you guys are just back to my regular they fixed your car yes yes yes yes but the living room situation I had this big nice remember there was that blip for a minute where the curved TV was a thing oh yeah so and like that does not a real thing you know but I bought it it was I had good curves like 65 inches it was curved I felt when I I fell for that

too when zoom came out remember was zoom and iPods yes Microsoft's iPod yeah I'm one of like the nine people who have a zoom that that is my mom's like the guy told me he's a better I'm like oh I'll buy one that is like I got a zoo that's like in the 80s being like I had beta yes I think it's worse they sold less fucking zoom I had an MP3 player so I had this curved TV and then it just broke I don't know what happened it just broke and where's that TV now okay so he still has it he still has it bro I still have I was talking you up in the beginning I it's it's I still have it it's still mounted and the new TV is just

beneath it on the coffee table dude I took the coffee table from the middle so two things happen my TV broke and also my kid they were little and there they fucking fell and hit their face on the on the on the coffee table so I was like I got to get the coffee table out of the way of everything so the new TV is on top of the coffee table in a fucking circuit sitting under the fucking Kevin Foxworthy over here that's that's what I said so I the other day I saw like the bed and I saw the TV and I was just like garbage you know I'm real garbage not gonna get around get away from my brother get away yeah but it's just

yourself you know it's like who cares it's just me and my kids you know like they're probably look they're gonna start looking around like as soon as my kids can judge me I'm gonna ball they're judging you dude I hate to break it three they know it judging me they know they know their mom doesn't have nine TV stacked on top of each other and they go to fucking friends houses like that they know you're coming back to your place out by the airport you're smoking cigs you don't even smoke they know what's going on man I knew I was trashed at a very early age let's see that they're judging me for that I want to be

getting credit for some of their fancy shit at their mom's house then that's the tough look they don't care they don't care that's the cross we bear my shitty bed and my broken TVs but then you're gonna take it off if there's gonna be the mounting bracket all there that's gonna be a tough look it's a whole thing with the mounting I couldn't put it up I can't take it off dude mountain TVs fucks up walls you even said that trash Mountain TV I first thought you meant like a mountain TV yeah I'm like is this guy gonna nobody because nobody gets it right in the first shot you at least got three or

four holes back you guys handy at all no we had to hang this week we have a monitor in there and we had to hang that and I had my I was gonna do it for music you want me to take a knockout I'm like dude no way we're gonna get the fucking security deposit back if you try it like could you could you can change a tire right now if you get a flat I can change it I can do I can do most of I can hang stuff in an apartment but like I if I was living by myself it would be fine and yes but see the fact my wife goes like well this is a little whatever that's whatever I don't care about that but so now we just I just pay someone to

come in and take always I mean my my thing in life is always like I just want to be well off enough that I could pay people to do the shit I can't do well here's the thing that's a lot of things they do it better I know me they do it better and they do it quicker and so if you're talking about putting up a big TV into a wall like if I do this I'll probably cobble it together and then I'm one of those people that I prefer like I like when somebody else makes me something to eat rather than I make something to eat or when somebody else to your mom makes somebody else makes the bed they do it better I don't know

but if but if I were to make it for you be like oh this tastes better because someone else made sure I made it for me it's the same person Megan I think this is right right placebo effect yeah I don't know about you per se oh I make a great sandwich yeah fuck you Foley I'm gonna make you a sandwich I'm gonna spit you got me nervous with the TV yeah that's a tough look two TVs in your living room well one that works are you throwing down a nice one for the kids you'd make a nice grilled cheese something like that a little grilled cheese I make them like whip up some hot dogs we do a lot of pasta and chicken nuggets

okay it's what the kids are eating I'm not gonna make a fucking swordfish or something he said fuck you foley fuck you try the swordfish all right what kind of Sammy sort of what I'd be looking at well you tell me what you want I'm gonna make what the big man wants you know do you have selective cold cuts in the house if if I knew I was making a sandwich for you I would make sure I went and I got almost everything to make you like a little Italian like bores head you we're not doing it got it eats and watch it gotta keep the big man and bores head baby you're ordered them by the big thing I don't slice it no you

gotta slice it though I got you know what I've seen recently at the grocery store they have a little bores head flyer whatever and it says like you can get it thick you can get it this you get it thin and then it goes like shredded like they know I've seen it I've seen a crumb and I don't know I like a little shredded roast beef and make myself a cheese stick but I'm talking when I want my hand on my baloney I want to be like see through it yeah fuck I dude that's costing thick cold cuts put it on five slice then always always that's the kids give you think they would test it and then you would get a piece of

American cheese while you're sitting in a car so good night cheese cheese is a garbage thing for me that was a late in life were you a craft singles so late in life I learned like the difference between the craft singles and how late is late like 20s with different craft singles and what else like a slice of American cheese yeah I would have always thought we were a craft singles house through and through they were so good my brother's idea of a snack would be two craft singles bag of chips and a pint of milk that would be a snack for him that's awesome that's fantastic so we were eating a lot and like more craft

yeah we read a lot more so we would do grilled cheese we would put it on our burgers but sometimes we would just eat him straight and I would acknowledge obviously that there was a like a texture difference but I was like this they taste the same and then and then I started eating deli meat and I was like oh no this is just better all the way through the texture the it doesn't stick to the plastic that everything is back yeah if I will if I go over your house and you make me a sandwich a non-melted cheese you know cheese is fine yeah if I guess we're like a fucking turkey and cheese and you break out the craft singles

I'm gonna fucking burn your house if you hear the cradling of that of that what the rapper I'd be okay with it no I like them both I would be okay with it I would not you know I would not prefer it why I wouldn't take it we're not eating lunch in County dude yeah yeah I mean if I ordered it from a deli I'd be you know what I still wouldn't say anything but what about you care about yellow or white well well yellow I'm usually a new york thing oh what I only I never had a yellow American craft cheese yellow American cheese is all is a new york thing compared to fill yeah oh yeah it's all white it's all white and fill it like

you go get a bacon egg and cheese slice of white cheese yeah yeah I mean I don't really care myself but orange you would get orange you would get orange cheese at like I you get a nice grilled cheese with orange cheese like a Friday's or something yeah if I got a cheese that was white I'd be weirded out it's got to be yellow man yeah you're making this up because I know it's pretty much like a commercial for a American cheese it's gonna be yellow it's gonna be white they love it they love it it's all white cheese don't tell all white America you go to a country you're saying no no I didn't know actual yell like I you know

it but yeah if you would go get a bacon egg and cheese yeah in Philly it was all white yeah we always I only saw yellow cheese if it was if it was craft singles the stuff we got from the grocery store when we got our lunch meat for a week yeah our ham our turkey or American for sammys for school always white yeah I found that a half of American pound a ham pound the turkey beautiful so we used to slice them then see through it yeah for a while my dad gonna got on a Cooper sharp kick what's that that's some kind of white cheese it was okay it wasn't great what about a white cheddar that's gonna say sharp is

probably some sort of cheddar yeah it's got to be a cheddar who the fuck's eating white cheddar it's fire dude on the little in the little cracker barrel John's yeah but nothing not for Sandy just say John yeah well I look at I yeah guys from the streets yeah shut out the alligator fucking guy John gonna talk to the corner man all right next one this one's just fucking bet we gotta run through some of these next one this is bananas if you this is from Romero did you ever put already chewed gum in the fridge to save it for later next question yeah that's fucking insanity that's crazy don't don't you tell me you've done

this but you're all you're awfully quiet over there come on get the fuck out of here you've done that dear mother yeah fuck this is what I do no this is the most genuine thing I've ever seen both you're going oh this is what I do you dude you never see my words carefully because if I were him and him I might break up with you yeah what you're about to say here okay if I come on the show again if you tell me that you put in the sandwich for later just mad at me for the same holy shit what do you do tell me you better tread carefully no no no no no what I do is okay let's okay let's say I have a pack of bubble

or something like that you know like an adult and I'm enjoying my gum I'm having a piece and having another piece I'm watching TV I'll have a soda or something with me okay you know I'll be drinking a soda or whatever okay what I'll do is the sodas are nice and cold right so when the gum starts to lose a little bit of its flavor I'll ball it up and I'll spit it into my drink and let it go down to the bottom and get hard we check Toby you pull the plug on this one and then when you put it back in it's like a fresh piece of gum if you don't believe me try it which camera should I look at if you don't believe me try it

into the soda into the soda you got to finish your soda what's a piece of gum a nickel you can you fish it out you fish it out yeah and you enjoy the gum and the soda this man had the nerve to judge me in my house a mere five minutes ago yeah before unloading that he puts his chewed gum in his soda bottle fishes it out I don't know and continues to it doesn't matter that is that might be the most garbage thing I've ever had I mean I didn't even know I was literally gonna say next question cuz nobody does this and this motherfucker there's no way I'm gonna does the only way that could have been worse is if you

could have if you had started that sentence with your honor I will represent myself yeah and wait a minute you guys don't spit your gum into your drink if you're if you're if you're eating and then take a piece of gum man the gun man you spit it out you swallow it you get rid of it whatever pack of gum I always put my gum into my drink and then finish it first of all I think gum is first of all ruin go yeah ruin go if you if you are talking about a bloody Mary I'm talking about drinking something you you just do not have gum at that point yes your gum your gum expires that you put gum in your mouth the

gum goes in and then the gum goes out and then that's it for that's it for that's it for that piece of gum you're keeping around like it's an essence now when you got a hot pack of hubba bubba bro come on yeah you got the pack of hubba bubba that's even worse I'll give you five pieces yeah but the cubes of gum is tough you know it's I can't believe I'm the only one you know there's a lot of animals that listen to this that probably for sure do that back me up now now I will say a step so hold on wait I'll wait put it in the fridge yeah put in the fridge is bananas even crazier what he's talking about he puts in the fridge to

cold to cool it off I put it I put it in the freezer before just like if I'm just goofing around you know for shits and giggles you know if I'm just like having me and me and the wife are having a Saturday not this isn't recent this is like in my 20s and 30s I was like stoned or something like that and I was chewing gum classic you never just chewed gum that's a little prank of ours open it up ah you got me yeah you never just like bought a couple packs of gum and chewed gum where you're watching this picture the inside of your apartment's like that wall in Seattle that's covered it's covered in chewed gum that wall freaks me

it's gross gums gross you're gross come on you know you know what I didn't realize that that was gum on the streets until like five years ago spots all those all gum now it's actually one of the funnier like quirky fun facts in New York it's crazy just I know stepped on so I mean I can't believe there's anybody out there does that kill yourself very straight up fucking when was the last time you swallowed a piece of gum fully I've done it this I've done it I've done it since this podcast has been on yeah if I have some gum and then also if I'm laying on the couch yeah and I got not got no tissue or anything to put it I gotta get up and go

to a garbage can or something now I'm just swallowing that that's so weird that you say that because I had probably hadn't done it in 10 15 years I did it last night walking to the stage because I had piece of gum in my mouth yeah like a gentleman I've done that adult just swallow but it does kind of something you get nervous I get nervous every single time dude it's so ingrained in me from when I was a kid every single time this is gonna kill me yeah yeah that's how it stays in your stomach for seven years yeah that was the whole legend we were told do you seven years because it doesn't it doesn't you know dissolve or whatever I was petrified yeah as a kid yeah for sure had you that and

insulation in the ceiling I was like if you're going near that you're fucking dead oh yeah cancer immediately yeah yeah yeah shout out to mesothelioma yeah class action lol I know they hit you with those commercials midday like in between like what's happening in good times sometimes I'm like maybe I don't know um Jesus Christ all right uh what was the Jesus Christ gift this one this one's from Stevie B and I'm sure it's happened a bunch right have you ever there's so there's a question and then holy explains it have you ever watched your own birthing video as in your parents filmed your birth and you were alone at home one day and found an unmarked VHS only to watch your zero birthday enjoy dude if you're seeing your mom's gash that is

oh my god I'd rather see a tape of them fucking or something yeah I would rather watch the conception than the than the birth hole the question should just be do your parents have a have the birth tape yeah that's garbage to watch it is not garbage it's it's it's like insane it's like you yeah that's crazy I mean you know that's an accident it's like what's this on your role and then you turn it off immediately you know any kid knows when you find an unmarked VHS you're rolling the dice you're about to see some shit if it doesn't say happy Gilmore Billy Madison or blockbuster yeah you're rolling the fucking those are the ones we actively looked for a one mark yeah well of course you're hoping you strike cool I'm looking for like undercover cops

baby unmarked VHS's all day yeah playing close movies don't talk about this all the time but when you were when you were a kid did you did you and your friends like systematically go around at a certain age to everybody's house and like tear the place apart looking for porn porn anything yeah anything did you guys have the uh like a box of porn in the woods yes of course I would never had a box we had I'd found like a mat you know you would find it like piece mail see because we like I I have learned over my times at Barstool that there are people who have the box of porn in the woods and there are people who have never heard of this and they think that that's garbage yeah and I'm like yeah that's just what it was man we had like and there was a fucking good summer

that's what it was yeah fifth grader would know you know where the it's by the the red tree with the this like you know and then you got to pass it down almost so it's like very treasured yeah you got to leave a mat exactly for future generations but there are some people who like their pegoonies and but I was I was too young for that right so like I'm 34 so the internet like AOL like the internet came out when I was like no in like third grade I know I know but see I wasn't I don't know I wouldn't do I think that this next generation is never gonna know the struggle of of riding your bike to him to the woods I didn't I'm saying I knew it we didn't have to do it though like when I was in sixth grade I could just look up yeah no I know let me tell you so I'm

more than a couple of computers I'm older than both of you so I was in the thick of that it was fucking better because there was nothing you would do you would never more I don't know it was the hormones or what it was but like getting that yes it was like an accomplishment it was like oh and that shit I've said it over and over and over again I think that like a mountain of corruption we're the we're the greatest generation because we we've had it and haven't had it yes we we know like without analog and digitalized we're young walking both worlds where yes we're young enough to adapt like you know you day walkers your parents and you're like I can't figure out this thing so it's like you're worthless society you can't contribute you can't have a job

you can't adapt we can do that but I also know I remember the life when I didn't have an entire endless library of hd porn right there on my fingertips yeah I remember you know I would have to go the dark days it was a simple was a simpler time I would do channel up channel down channel up channel down on the on the fuzzy you know snow screen because it would kind of keep the keep it in frame you know somebody with a spice channel hearing that fucking door open on aim with the hot chick logs in like those at the moment my grandma away messages the grandma had a black box with illegal cable she was like a freak my grandma was a fucking jeep she used to get her tent cigarettes bootlegged off the indian reservation and she had a black box cable box

and she would always yell upstairs you're not watching the dirty channels are you and I'd be like yes I fucking surprise right again grandma downstairs it was some weird locked door no no man that's living on the edge yeah and I hear and I hear the steps coming up and do the waistband talking to the channel talking to go yeah that's the irish in yet you want to risk it getting caught yeah can also hide your dickies didn't even have to do the waistband talk yeah it was just I was wearing sweatpants you know you couldn't see it get right up and walk around no problem we've touched on this and we've done it but this is a new person and if we did in the early the

thing now we're finally as the show gets we have more episodes of shit that we've talked about in the beginning right everybody's missing yeah so this is from Verena I think in austria or switzerland she was from shout out to uh you know the europeans uh big fan of show last time I cooked my friend pointed out that putting the eggshells back in the carton is extremely trashy yeah now that's what I do I did it today so we do I mean you eventually throw them out but in the moment when the carton's done oh no I'll put it back in the fridge and throw out a cart which well cracked eggs it's deplorable really deplorable yeah it's trashy in the moment when I'm cooking making it I'll put it back but then you know that I mentioned I know for a fact that my wife that is insane that's what

chefs do that's what chefs do I know that for yeah but they're back in the fridge but they're not storing a thing of because they go through eggs that quick so fast yeah like they go through a carton of eggs in fucking 20 seconds if you want to putting crash shells back it's bad it's because there's also usually some remnants of the yoke the yoke is for sure everything's stuck in there but my head is going well it's keeping it cold that's keeping it at whatever temperature that's not going to make germs you know what else helps with the germ situation throw it in high now throw into that do you guys check the eggs before you get them at the store will you open the carton look at them yeah yeah I guess I should but I'm not buying I'm not paying for 12 eggs and getting

11 eggs eggs are uh something the thing that I'll buy and then they'll just sit there a full dozen until they go oh really I'll do these things right now I get four today I go to the grocery store and I buy like all the things that my kids need to eat and like the snacks that I like but every now and then I'll go on a trip where it's like I gotta get real food and I gotta get maybe one day I'm gonna bake something so I need one day I'm gonna need this and that and then they you know everything I buy just expires yeah yeah you ever get the uh you ever see someone buy the 18 pack that's a real trash I'll do that from time to time you get the big why is that trash it's a Cadillac maybe the big body if you need a lot of eggs you need a lot of eggs too many take it out for as many eggs yeah

the 18 that's a that's a old school big body 80s bends love it sharp corners yeah my body that and the jumbos yeah that's all I do I did I did regular I did just regular large eggs today and I had to do four because I felt like I'm like what are these fucking little they're like card they're like fucking bird eggs dude that doesn't add up they're not jumbo chickens where they get these eggs but I don't ask I don't care how the sausages made daddy give me a big book give me a t-rex egg you just said what are these bird eggs well I meant like you know like yeah like a tiny little fucking let me tell you something about that I don't know who's making this decision at grocery stores and it's even trickling down to like acne's and like shitty ones these fucking quail eggs get

them the fuck out of my egg section I didn't even know there was quail yeah you haven't seen quail eggs at the store now they're everywhere are you shopping the farmers market no I'm telling you this is some brooklyn shit you know they're fucking they're like they're like a little like get these pigeon eggs but you know what it is it is funny to think about like all of eggs is rather disgusting of course I can't think about it to be like well this is usually a chicken embryo that will grow to be a chicken but if we get to it in time and we fry it we can eat like yeah that was one of his first bits ever yeah yeah it's crazy I think about that hey Johnny do you see that bird you shit that thing out yeah let's eat it throw it in a frying pan right why don't you go

take a bite yeah I do that with all sort like who was the first person to get a coffee bean grind it up yeah it's crazy water and drip water put it in a plate a paper thing and then drink it drink milk same shit yeah well we're the only species that uh drink other species milk yeah all right I know that you do you fucking myth busters over here the way you both just we're actually both from big milk milk that's the body good you looked at me like you were trying to hypnotize me you're like yeah just dropping some milk knowledge on you or milk knowledge as you call her she's for me I don't give a shit all right let's do a couple of more here all right this is from Ryan uh do you or a family member have a house where there's imprints

on the wall from where the doorknob smashes because there's no stopper do you have that in your current house uh yep yeah 100% yeah that's a tough look just like the the lock or whatever like the it's just fucking in the wall it's just a poorly designed piece of architecture where doors can hit into other doors and walls and yep we had numerous door stoppers that went awry that were like broken and the dingers that ding they were old those are awesome yeah I would lay on the goddamn floor all day you got grounded those things yeah talk about you watch it yeah that was before iphones you know you just watch it slowly oh that was good that's hypnotizing just trying to get through solitary those those things would fuck up a gi joke wait till I can

hit the yard for an hour I was doing a three to five bid three to five hours in my room at night spending an hour doing the curtains up and down I've done that fucking play with the blinds I thought of one on the train the other day and I want to say before I forget when you see a you a already scratched lot of ticket on the ground do you check it to see if it's a winner Jesus do you not in a long time but I have for sure Jesus right you see a cigarette butt on the floor you pick it up and I could see Toby doing that back in the day when he smoked six what picking up a butt off the street that's still got some on it when he was riding his skateboard around I've definitely have thought about the lottery ticket for sure I think about it probably every time I see

it but I also know the jeans the makeup of a person that is playing scratch off lottery tickets is not losing a scratch all it was not losing a winner that's like their holy grail exactly so it's like it's it's discarded by a garbage person because it's garbage yeah that's that's it's a one in a billion shot that they misplace the winner you ever think about picking up a metro card you're like maybe there's some still swipes on there I when I was when I was really poor yeah that's right first couple years that's just like I gotta do it yeah the first couple years up here metro cards at any cost how about that that's like that's gone now huh you can just you just zap in with your phone no it's not gone but it's but then it just bills you yeah I guess no you

don't need a card anymore that omni thing you can just put your phone up against it yeah that's right I guess because I always I always used to do monthlies or weeklies but now I don't take it anymore I never had the courage to buy a monthly only a weekly or the poor the operating capital never had you never know maybe you're gonna die tomorrow yeah I'll waste the money yeah yeah three weeks yeah I'm not I don't want the responsibility of losing that dude he was also used I mean I haven't taken the subway with you in a long time but he was the king of fucking just putting one ride on the card and then like we'd be rushing to get to a show or whatever and I could hear the train comes I'm like all right let's go and I got a weekly and he's like

hold on and he's like yelling at the guy in the booth can you put 58 cents on this he's got like a handful of nickel I'm like dude just fucking come on well as we get your shit together I think we've done before I think one of the questions is filling up gas right do you fill up the tank or do you put in like you know ten dollars at a time of course that's the city version of that what's your move when I actually do fill up yeah I feel I'm all I think that one's particularly stupid if you're there just fucking fill up now now when I will say when I was in high school and I didn't have money then sure it's whatever yeah but if you know now it's like you're gonna need the gas the price is just fucking price of the price sure let me ask you this is it garbage to

think that the car runs better with a full tank as opposed to oh no I'm zippered when I got a full tank I feel it I think it's psychological but yeah it's like this it's like I feel I feel more powerful when my phone's fully charged yeah I feel like I am faster feel like a million bucks whoo kippy goes airborne with what up with dude if I got over 90% on the iPhone I'm cooking that's definitely a real thing oh my phone is low I feel like oh yeah yeah yeah that's fucking come on go to the nurses that's a funny bit that's a sketch way that's pretty good that's amazing uh while we're on this this is from Keith uh do you lift and shake the gas pump hose to get every last drop into the tank I don't you'll do the god I definitely like give a couple of squeezes more

cap it on the way out you can't when mine when mine hits it it hits it if I try to go any more it fucking goes everywhere well yeah yeah but that's what I mean well I guess if you're putting in like 20 like if you're not that that would be like if you're not filling it up oh okay right because it stops you when the tank is full but if you're only yeah I saw when I I got gassed the other day and as I stepped up the on the screen was like the last person seven dollars I never I mean that's that's I you gotta hope they were like filling up a weed whacker or something you know what I mean you're hoping they were like listen I gotta hold selling up a weed whacker right from the pump though I mean I can't yeah but I I almost like I looked at that and I

went like thinking like whoever drove away from here they've seen some things like they're down and out I almost wish I could pay it forward and find that guy dude here's a 20 for the full thing I would always do I would I remember that I would do five bucks you know yeah let me get five on pump two you ever run out of gas uh no I've come very close who was that title I think was asked this question recently yeah we were talking about this I feel it was all we might have yeah I was kind of like no I'm like I got a brain and file but yeah I think he was like oh I'm like 10 times oh yeah that's right yeah that's not even necessarily garbage that's just you're just yeah you have you run out of gas I don't have a license yeah I mean come on he's our he's

literally our 14 year old guy are you a city guy like you never had need for a car he lives in Connecticut how did you survive in North Carolina well or did you drive you just don't have a license it's like a whole thing I never I never I never needed one never he went to car or license he went to boarding school in high school well I don't break did that too I think you go to a boarding school in high school you end up being a fucking wacko you know what's this guy do when coming and calling it exactly how it is and make the exact right call this fucking cotton in his sweatpants he were trembling at it at the beginning of the show I feel like when you're you know when you're that age younger you go to college it's fine when you're like living away from home uh at like you

know eighth grade that's fucking weird there was aspects that made it seem appealing there were sure there was a movie year-long summer camp you know yeah there was movies that made it seem like yeah this would be awesome I've never seen dead people decided me like no fuck that yeah but like cruel intentions sleepers sleepers those guys had a tough tough go yeah I'm not talking about being walked out of the boiler room same thing I always wanted to watch you die talking about mixers and dinner at the dean's house you know what I mean yeah what the fuck this guy talking about going to dark places I do respect the uh the move from parents being like someone else is gonna do this I'm outsourcing my my parenting you know what I mean yeah someone else raised these fucking kids

yeah it's almost like being raised by your English teacher isn't a good idea who knew who would have thought I always loved the move my my cousins are Jewish and uh you know they did the summer camp thing where it was just like their parents are sending you away for for three months in the summer and my parents three months you go the whole thing yeah they would leap away camp that's big it's big in july august our squad's starting to do that now but they're going for like four weeks or five weeks no yeah they were doing the full summer and then my aunt and uncle would be down at their beach house in Long Beach island living up swinging key parties the whole thing yeah because we don't have our kids really next two and a half months summer camp is pretty awesome yeah and then the

the kids loved it like I didn't really do it either because I really feel like that was like a Jewish thing but they were loving it the parents were free and like this makes sense yeah we only did it once like my niece and nephew were doing it now like proper like sleep away like you know rich kid fucking I was always weird I always did like a like I went to Fordham basketball camp I did it yeah stuff like that yeah yeah yeah yeah just take camp maybe I'm gonna live in like a cabin we're gonna shoot fucking bow and arrows yeah do arts and crafts like lady get me a pack of burnies I'm gonna be stealing wine coolers from my mom we did stony I did feel like the kids the they always got not laid but like I remember the kids who would go to camp always came back like I got

a hand oh yeah they got handsy way quicker for sure I know a lot of the kids were also lying about that but there's also the kids getting jerked off in like six and seventh grade and I was living it up remember that news with travel like well I remember the first time somebody touched a boom yeah I found I got a phone call at home on like a Sunday night I was like Jesus Christ where I'm on my way Kevin call me back on an outside line all right rapid I had a I remember having like that's a weird period of time where you're like six seventh eighth grade that middle school it's like like one of my friends was like losing his virginity and I was like I'm afraid to talk to a girl yeah I got a new girlfriend I was like oh have you kissed her yet and he was like yeah he sucked my dick

last week and I was like oh yeah me too totally totally bro I'm getting my dick sucked also just out of three something what are you talking about yeah transformers backpack hey hey Timmy you want to come over and sleep over they we had to get my dick sucked I gotta do anal tonight like get out of here all right that's it we gotta wrap oh that was quite rapid gang we love you very much thank you for tuning in kfc anything you got for me want to know other than what they got uh just do uh 10 minutes 10 topics is the new thing so one minute man has been you know thriving on instagram and i'm trying to try to get uh into youtube a little bit more so it's the same sort of idea uh current events and headlines where I try to break it down for you real quick

so the 10 most important topics of the week in 60 seconds or less each so that's on the kevin clancy youtube and the kfc radio youtube so subscribe to both of those of course you can listen anywhere else but we're really working on the youtube so subscribe to kfc radio and the kevin clancy show on youtube we text you all the time about those the one minute man so that's why guys all of my news i know i mean i can tell you guys always are watching and they're not blowing smoke and genius reporting fucking smart calculated i fucking love it yeah make sure you check it out ken kippy what do you got for him out there uh just as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes full video available on youtube and then patreon.com also

i'm at camera and comedy on all social media and follow the r u garbage pages it's at r u garbage on twitter and instagram and also dude thank you so much anytime such a fucking supporter it's uh it's so fucking cool i listened to that the most recent episode i think of you guys you're talking about the the the tour you did down in in north carolina north carolina in tennessee both you guys just talking about how it's working and how you finally made it and i'm sure it's been a long road for both of you guys and i thank you guys who deserve it more so keep doing your thing i'm glad to help appreciate it and we owe that all to you guys we love you guys very much and uh mentioning raleigh and nashville come see us in fucking a c and indy to indianapolis and

chicago are you garbage i'm fucking june that's the super bowl of garbage let's go june 18th down there to celebrity theater down there in alinex city and then indianapolis and fucking chicago it's fucking gonna be a garbage summer yeah baby we're popping we love you guys we'll see you next week peace