Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Kippy Gets New Jeans w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Better Help: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://RocketMoney.com/garbage today. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Attention, homies and bozos. If you're looking for hot, local dirtbags in your area, then you're in luck. We're going to be in San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles, California, Burlington, Vermont. Don't forget Boston, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, getting real nasty. Rochester, New York, and Toronto. All tickets available at are you garbage.com. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. You know it. It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a group to be classy. After just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootty's in the new edition.

She had dinner with Chase Utley last night. Okay, wow. Which I didn't believe her, but she's got his wallet. Okay. My coes is coming at you from across the table. That's a win. Get me on the board. He is the CEO of RU Garbage.

He's my best pal in the whole world. He's got on brand new jeans. We'll get into it. Who! Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Kevin Jeans Ryan. What's it called? remitted denim. Selvage.

Let me get the business out of way. Then we'll get in to Kippy jeans. Kippie cool jeans. What's up, King? Shout out to you. As always, please make sure you're right. You subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube.

Also, full video available over there on. Spotify. On the charts. Climing the charts in general. In all podcasts and comedy. Number four on the charts. Why not? On cooking podcast.

Kids are cooking. And then obviously the greatest website of all time. www. patreon.com slash harry garbage, but folks don't take our word for it. Take the fifth, take the word of the 15,000 paid subscribers over there. We're moving numbers. Yes, we are. Army of garbage. And I'd like to make a public statement regarding the jeans.

This wasn't supposed to be public. They were, you know. Nobody can see them. Show to show the folks. I'm going to show the folks for sure. If you can stand up. You don't think I can get a pair of thundgeries? When I met, you used to wear jeans all the time.

I bought a pair of jeans online, cool jeans As I'm losing a couple pounds Shout out modern medicine Two pair you bought I bought a cup I bought three pair Expensive Yeah expensive I try to be cool

I try to buy Because I blow out of it I buy H&M jeans or pants I buy Gap and I blow out of them Because I wear them every day for four months And then there's a hole in them in the grundle Because they're stretchy These are like yeah

So they're nice And I bought a lighter pair of denim You know what I mean? And, okay, where's that camera? What am I going to be in this one over here? I'm going to be in my... Looking like Swayzey. So they're a little lighter, you know, I'm a married man.

I'm typically dressed like Marilyn Manson most days. I'm in all black. I got black pants on black nail polish, all nine yards. My wife was like, try something like so I tried a pair. You know what I mean? Try a little lighter denim, but they came a little pre-stressed. Yeah. And...

Sliding into third a couple of times. Around the crotch area, there's, I'll just show you. I think it's 15% too distressed. And I'm trying to even it out. Couple washes, hopefully he'll smooth this thing out. I don't know. Some martinizing. Drop a comment.

Can we put a pole up or something? Let's see them. Okay. Woo. Randy wrinkles, everybody. I feel like this area here's a little. Long bus ride, huh, big guy? I feel Russian or something.

I feel Eastern European. I feel, do you ever see the guys who are like, they wear jeans like this, but they're doing like roofing at Home Depot? They're like picking up supplies in designer jeans. They've been squatting all day. Yeah, that's what I feel like. I feel like the pockets should be bedazzled a little bit.

You think? I don't want them to be, but that's a little juicy on there or something like that? Something like a unicorn. Turn around, let me see it. Kippa, you ain't got no ass, baby. I've never had an ass. Man, those pockets are huge. they look great though man you look good

are they a little long though they're a little long yeah I gotta get them hemmed up gonna get them hemmed gotta get them hemmed hemmed got to get them pressed probably I don't know if they press them I don't know I gotta figure this out well this is uh I'm taking new swings here Luke are they in style right now

no not with the distressing no level I didn't realize it was gonna be that level I think I got a bad batch I think they sent me the bottom of the barrel you know what I mean I think they're like I don't know what the fuck you're talking about He's clearly trying to be cool and he's not cool. I thought they were supposed to be dark. That was the whole point of, what do you say, distressed?

Distressed. That's the, no, salvaged. Selvage? Selvage? Yeah. Not salvaged. No. What's salvaged?

I don't know. It's a type of denim. I don't know. I thought it was like taken from somewhere else. Yeah, no, that's not what it is. It's the type of denim. It's Japanese, right? I think it's Japanese style or something.

This is America. These is a tariff-free jeans, FYI. Bobby Lee wears him. He wears expensive jeans. I bought a pair years ago that I then passed on to you after I lost the weight. Remember those things? Man, those things had zero give. When I started putting on weight, I tried to hang on to them as long as I could.

But I need a thick, I need a heavy, I'm a big guy. I'm getting in it. I'm sitting a lot. I'm farting. I'm stretching. I ripped the crotch goes on all my jeans. So I was like, let me invest in jeans. And then also, those other ones,

don't hold that you look like a vagabond you know what I mean yeah after a couple after like two weeks I wear the shit like sweatpants them in shoes I wear the shit out of yeah I blow them out and I look I look stupid I got like two weeks on sneakers and they're leaning it's bad yeah I washed a pair of sneakers for the first time this week is that right uh huh look at you they shrunk I swear to God my toes I was I was going to wear them today my feet started hurt before I left the house walking around like hanks and castaway it's uh yeah I don't know I didn't get the stains out and brightened them up. I don't wear white sneakers, but these were like, you know,

I bought them for a summertime, ruined them immediately. You're really going for it, aren't you? Look at you. I don't know. A little style. But you're behind. The kids don't wear jeans on the Lower East Side anymore. Right?

Wait, first of all, if you think I'm trying to be a kid on the Lower East Side, we're not on the same page here. I'm trying to be a guy with jeans that don't get holes in them after three weeks. That's the guy I'm trying to be. And I'm failing at that pretty miserably. I'm taking swing. Things are brutal. No, the other ones are good.

The other ones are... You wore them in a date, didn't you? Yeah, I have like two... I have a dark pair. I have a black pair and then like a regular, like dark denim gene pair. That's, you know, regular, like blue jeans. These are a little, you know, Bon Jovi-ish. Yeah, they are.

Which might be my thing. Could be. I'm closing it on 40. I'm married. I'm the king of the burbs. I could be at the local watering hole in my cool... In the suburbs, this is cool. I'm a cool guy.

not New York Suburbs Cool guy New York Loserville Look at this guy And his Sally jeans I'm coming in

I got my shirt tucked in The show off my head I wish that would come back Even though it's bad for me What tuck in the shirt in tuck it in a button down

It's kind of bad It's back Is it back For cool dudes in shape It's kind of always It's never really Going away Really

Yeah if you're If you got the body You can do it And people go I don't got the body No No What are you

Used to be nice when I tuck in my shirt felt good. Even a T-shirt, tucking a T-shirt. I never did. I remember one time my brother was buying us heaters. We were underage. We were jammed up. And I called him. I say, I need a pack of heaters.

You got to come through. You know, boys need them. We had like a hand. We had like a six-pack or something. We stole from somebody. Trying to look older. And he showed up with his shirt tucked in. And all my boys were like, what the fuck is?

Because we were like, we were fucking skater rats. It's a basketball jersey. No, he was like coming from, I don't know, what the fuck? He was doing at the time. But, like, he was like, I think he was, like, driving a truck for, like, my dad or something like that. So he had, like, you know, a fucking supply house t-shirt on tucked into a pair of dungarees. You know, not that's it watch. It's not cool jeep like this.

We'll see if they stand the tested time. If you're out there and you got some tips on how to fucking make these look normal, hit me up. Because I can't return them. You got to get a rock or something like that and rub it on them. I took the tags out, which I shouldn't have done. jammed up Yeah, I don't know Rubber rock on them or something like that

I don't think that'll just make them more distress Why don't you acid wash them? I think I got to take the dark parts And make them a little lighter So the contrast isn't as bad Some pumice is what you need Sure Yeah, rub some lava rock on there

We'll figure it out Crined them out Put a rip in them too At the knee Then you can draw on your knee Uh huh I did that Yeah A smiley face or something

Show them what's good A pop rips in the ass whatever my my poor fashion decisions aside you know also let me know if you like them they might stick around they look i'm making a matching jacket they look great on you you thanks bud um they're a lot looser than i thought they were gonna be my wife was like let me know what the boys she's like you're they're a little out of your wheelhouse you're going into the fucking lions then let me know what they say Luke immediately said no Ryan was on the fence and big man said hey I look good you look good man I don't know what to believe I mean what am I

gonna do shit on you you lost weight you got new jeans what the fuck am i gonna say i don't know i figured you fucking dickhead figure out something to say it never it's never stopped you before yeah like all this sudden um i got something i want to i want to bring up i had seen the other day eyes out there in a burbs and uh i want to say it might have been about it's probably a saturday morning sunday morning something like that okay and uh i was i was i was pushing the little boy around. Trying to get him to probably go down for a nap or something. This is last week, I want to

say. Got him in a stroller? Got him in a stroller. Got the headphones in. Pushing him around. He's probably already sleeping at this point. Now you just got to keep moving. You know what I mean? Get my steps in. Trying, you know, whatever. Sure. You have the jeans on? Didn't have the jeans on. I was thinking about

buying them now. I had them on the brain. And my the liquor store. This is probably about 9 o'clock. In the morning. Okay. And the liquor store is closed. This is probably $8.50, call it.

They open at 9? I'm guessing. I don't know what time the liquor store opens up. Whatever. I was there right before it opened. Okay. Early enough in a weekend morning. Yeah, liquor store is open at fucking...

9 a.m.? I thought it was illegal to sell booze after before noon on the weekends. That's in Pennsylvania, dog. Oh, yeah? Yeah. That's of them fucking goddamn Quakers. Whatever. This was call it 10, 15 minutes before the opening of...

The domicile that sells beer and alcohol. Gotcha. Um, and I'm walking around the parking lot because that's like what I'm just like making, not it looks like I'm waiting. But at about 10 minutes, everybody starts getting out of their car and getting in line waiting for the liquor store. Booze bags. Now, listen, I'm okay with that.

I like a cocktail just as much as the next guy. But here's my thing. What I would have done and which some people did do, you wait in your car like a gentleman. Yeah, what the fuck. Keep up appearances a little bit that you're not a fucking degenerate dirt bag. A concert. I know, right? And it's like, I can see if there was 500 people waiting, but there's about eight different groups.

Like, there was two golfers. I pegged his going golf and they were grabbing whatever, six pack or whatever. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. Totally makes sense. They grab it the night before, but yeah, it is what it is. I'll give you that. But then there was like, then there was like sketchier people getting the fix.

You know what I mean? Buying a cheap bottle of vodka, bottle of rum. Ripping the fucking plastic top off, dumping it in, you know, fucking Wawa iced tea. Big party today, huh? Nope. No, no plans. And then there was just like regular looking people that weren't like I'm going to an event or they didn't have like a fucking Eagles jersey on or something. They could have been getting ready for a party or something later that day.

But why wait in line? Like what, like what is what motivates you to get out? stand in line for 10 minutes when there's also only the one thing I did think was now that I'm bringing this up is lottery tickets because I know they have a thing with the scratchers

to get like the certain point in the role that's all I can do there's like regular ass looking women like moms all it you know the 35 and also 60 like normal I'm like fucking wait now for fucking

for your hooch that's crazy sitting in a car like a goddamn lady or gentleman. You have bottles and James. I think that's just like the Irish Catholic repression in me. It's like, don't let anybody know, you know, sweep this under the rug. Just sit in your car, drink your coffee when it opens up. Oh, is that open?

Anybody yes, you're on stakeout? Yeah, like you were just, wow, I'll pop in here. Sounds like a real nice town you live in there. I tell you that right now. You walking around the parking lot in circles. May or may not have a baby in there? You got a cat in there? I got heaters going.

Creep. Yeah, I'm with you on that. It was just odd. I'd never seen that behavior in all my booze bag days, all my early mornings. I'd never seen like, dude, it was like the cast of characters. It was like such a cross section of America. It was fucking wild. Do you ever, the reason I brought up the thing about the no booze before 11 is back in the day, if I was on the wrong side of something,

and maybe it was a Saturday or a Sunday early, I'd go down to the bodega and a couple of beers. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. And if they don't sell boo, you know how to sell booze before noon. So they kind of give you the run around a little bit. Is that just on Sundays, though? Something like that. I mean, I feel most, you know.

If you know them, yeah. They'll play ball. But it was always got to be quick and shit. Yeah. Get your fix. That was also, I mean, that was also so new to me when I'm, I don't know the New York. I mean, because Pennsylvania is so stringent on where you can buy alcohol, liquor, beer, and the quantities, the six-pack versus the 12 packs versus the fucking 24 packs.

On Sundays, liquors. I mean, I think a lot of it's now that has got lax over the past 10, 15 years. Well, loosened up a little bit. Yeah. Sunday is 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. You're allowed to buy it for liquor. For liquor. But then a bodegas sell beer.

Yeah, I think you hit a bodega in a story or Washington Heights on a fucking, it could be. Oh, yeah. It don't matter what time of day that is. I remember North Carolina was real strict about it down there. The Puritanic, it's the, those goddamn Quakers and Puritans. You know what I mean? They're fucking the church and state get all intertwined What the fuck do you leave Europe for if you're going to come over here

And fucking be all stiff Have a good time What to put that shit away, wait I thought the Europeans drink all the time too You'd think What fuck are they doing Jamming everybody up with that bullshit I'm with us

Have a fucking good time But all that's neither here nor there gang We got a gosh darn family ep on our hands As you know Or if you don't know if you're new to the program Just the boys, the bozos and the homies As the big man said it And when you join the old Patreon

We will answer your garbage question question on the air, baby. How about New Guy Luke at the corner office over there? I apologize. Our fashion consultant over there. I know. I don't know. Would you go to the club with him dressed like that? 100%.

Yeah, because I'm paying for it. What the fuck you're talking about? The IP, baby. That's my uncle, Kevin. Just hit the lottery. Another round of absolute for my boys. More absolute pepper, please. Chugging an apparel spritz.

You guys got cans of cores light in here? America has ruined the apparel sprits up, by the way. What do you mean? I mean, everybody's pounding them, making them all fucked up. The Italians, they sit there after work. They have one. Smoke a couple of heaters. Have a little brisudo.

Go home, make a little pasta. Brescetta. That's what my mom called her for the long. Brescetta. That brisketta is really good. We'd get, like, the frozen stuff. I mean. Oh, like heathens.

I don't know if it's just the Philadelphia area The suburbs of Philadelphia But that shit hit in the late 90s Bruchetta was on every appetizer It was everywhere We'll make a little brusette I'm using salsa and white bread Nobody gave a fuck

That in the garlic knots Garlic knots We never know My dad was a heavy bread guy At the Italian restaurant You were looking at like Three baskets. Keep them fucking coming.

For sure. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Gang, you gotta stop bouncing your problems off the people around you. They're sick of it. They're tired of it. They're over it. They don't want to hear that your job sucks and you can't make it change. That your wife's breaking your balls, that your boyfriend's doing this.

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That's rocket money.com slash garbage. One more time, get a pen, get a pencil, rocket money.com slash garbage. It's news to me. It's just also so funny growing up that like now it's like so everything so anti-bred, so anti-carb that like I would. I would eat to the point of, like, full of, like, pain as it had the bread, the amount of bread and butter. Oh, the brush. The best.

And then eat, like, half of my whatever I ordered and then finish up on bread again. Have a little, have a little bread kicker. Yeah. I don't mind the crackers that they do, a little thin things. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. I'll do that. It scratches the itch and you don't feel as a fat piece of shit.

Yeah. You know what I mean? You're like, ah, it was a paper thing cracker. I was a big breadstick guy when I was a kid. too my mom would put them out for dinner bread sticks out breadsticks and butter yeah i'd fucking drown him in that it was great huh a little sesame on it was all right oh like the like the pretzel rod breadsticks yeah yeah what you think i meant well my now that you're saying that my my aunt my stepmom started doing like microwaved frozen i don't know if they were

like pepperage farm or like kind of like texas toast but oh i know exactly you're They were hers. We were all, like, fucking microwave and bread. We didn't, yeah, it was like, it was tough to wrap our head around. She would. What the fuck are they called? I think they are breadsticks. Like, um.

They were like bad olive garden microwave frozen breadsticks. Yeah. But they weren't. I don't know if they were named brand or what. Pepperage farm sounds about right. They did everything back in the day. Remember that cake they would do in the freezer? No.

The chocolate and vanilla cake? Pepperidge farm cake. Ooh, fantastic. Let that fucking thaw on a little bit. No. Good night. we were never big on desserts really now there's always ice cream

yeah we got ice cream you know there's always there's always briars cooking in the winter or in the summer we'd hit reedas or whatever but it was never we never had like cakes laying around or anything unless it was a birthday party somebody got out of the can uh all right let's see here um this one is

from thaddeus uh ten dollar homie never have one is it garbage while battling Xfinity on the phone to refer to the $220 they owe you as a quarter of $1,000? Also, I said they were taking food out of my family's mouth and refer to my fiancé and our kitty cat as my family. Love you. Listen, if you're in a heated battle with a big corporation,

you got to church it up, I inflate everything all the time. I'll walk right now. Go over to Verizon right now. How do they owe you money? How does that happen? If they over bill you, something, you cancel something, You know, that, what do you mean? How's that happened?

Yeah. I never got money back from anybody like that. They might not give you the money back, but they'll, you know, they might bill you for services you haven't rendered yet. They double, something. I canceled that at that old, like, if you're moving or something, you know. Or you're returning the boxes? I don't think you still return the boxes. Dude, I never did that shit.

I thought I was going to be put in jail for fucking not doing that. That remotes. He used to be like, hey, you got to return those on-demand remotes when they hit. Like two grand those things. Fuck that. I noticed when I was home at Paddy's. My mom goes... A DVR box.

That has the DVR. My mom... Got to return that. It was still like until recently banging a DVR box. Really? It was like, yeah. Well, these old, these broads, you know... Are she with TiVo?

Well, she's, I mean, she's also like the one where she also wages war with, you know, who I don't know who she has, Comcastor, because I don't know who the hell she's got. but they uh it took my brother and she was like well they're billing me $480 a month and my brother-in-law's like what the fuck did you just say she's like yeah you know you know

it's so expensive he's like give me your bill they were just whacking her you know dumb broad fee fucking old bat can't read fee all that kind of shit YouTube TV blows my mom's mind blows her mind

I gotta be honest with you I was thinking about that this morning the fat they've really figured it out because the home tab on youtube tv is just the shit you watch and it just pauses it it's just like it's just got a running backlog for you shit right there and you're going yeah why wasn't this this is perfect yeah i want to see every law and order you got going on in all these channels cable hit me cable baby it's great i was going to say my mom she gets different garbage cans about every four or five months she switches companies They're red right now.

They used to be blue. She's subbing out? What do you mean? I don't think she can hire her own company to come? Private, yeah. And she literally. I don't think my mom has that. She, I don't know what.

I think she takes like the free trial and then fucking dips. Which I respect. Get the free can. Buddy, always. They're always changing. Like every four months, different company. She's going to war with them, bitching about this, bitching about that. Insanity.

Yeah. Yeah. I got to get my trash can game in a burbs. I got to get a second recyclable can. They don't give it to you when you sign up? You have one. I don't sign up. It's just that was came with the house.

But they don't give you the big green one or whatever with the wheels? I just said I need a second one. I have the big blue one. I got that. Uh-huh. I overflow that. Damn. Moving a lot of fucking plastic down there, dude.

Well, you know, the Germans, she only drinks bottled water, fancy bottled water. this brought the garish diners I gotta keep her the glass bottles yeah then I'm a poland springs or deer park guy whichever's not on the second you know whatever's easy enough to grab

you gotta hump that down to the to the curb yeah Sundays what's your day depends I don't know we miss them a lot that's another thing well we don't have enough to the point or like I'm working late or fucking whatever and it's like I'll just get it tomorrow because we're not causing that much trash necessarily.

So I'm like, we'll just get it. It's two days a week. I don't know. No, recyclables is only one. If you miss that. You're fucked. I'm jammed up. I took the trash out this morning.

I had to lay the bag next to the can. They don't like that. And then they, the recycle, they don't like it when I'll just use a regular black trash can as like the recycle, like a run-all, an addition, an appendix or whatever appendage of. and I put the recyclable and that over to the left and create some space and go, hey, these two are trash, clearly, these two are recyclables clearly,

they don't take it, they don't touch it. It's like the union, like that ain't my job, I can't touch yet. I ain't seen nothing. You keep the cans outside or you've got to be in a garage or whatever. I'm not a fucking animal garage. I have a very shameful, you know, nobody sees, and my wife leaves the frigging garage open,

which ain't in great. There's a graveyard of, cardboard boxes in there I'll get her to send a pay it's bad it's whatever you're thinking it's worse

those are a pain in the ass you got to put the twine on them and fucking line them up I'm saying and I already mentioned the recyclable space is very premium I don't have time

to be breaking down all these boxes I'm a busy guy I got law and order on YouTube TV fuck that shit it's bad I'm real loose with the recycling

truth be told mix it up a little bit I was thinking I'm real strict. I'm not real strict. I'm like, I recycle a lot. Unless the recyclable's full and the trash isn't, then that plastic bottle's going into freaking trash.

I didn't know it was in there. I'm sorry. No, I don't even. I'll just go. I recycled 10. The 11th is getting thrown in the trash. I'm not taking the trash out right now. I know people that fucking clean the bottles and shit out and put them in the recycling.

I had another question for you. This is the new AIG question. You say you got this, you got a bottle of deer park, whatever, you know, America's choice, whatever you're banging. Yes. Lids on it. It's about 75% drank. You're not going to finish it.

It's a floater. Do you dump that out or that just goes right in? The fuck out of here. That goes right in. It feels. It could be open. I don't get a shit. I know, but in the 90s, it was like dump it out, clean it.

It was like all that shit. So that's like instilled in me. Fuck that. I knew that's a you move. That dude. Cigarette butts in it, whatever. Yeah. You're kitty litter.

I have, you have that and you have a very specific way. you wipe surfaces down that's just like no good no i'm not saying it's not good what do you mean you're taking offense to like when i do the table yeah i'm not saying it's you it's not a bad job it's just a very i go with the grain i know do the grain i'm not i'm not saying that it's all it's just very uh i love doing the coffee table it's more atom bomb rather than uh precision sniper a little bit it's it's heavy on the spray heavy on the spray you're not really looking it's like it's getting your coffee yeah you're like it's like a street sweeper dude you're like in chicago blighting up the block i use glass cleaner for everything you know what's good them windex wipes

they got windex wipes they're a little softer on everything and you you can put them on anything i like the hard spray the old school hard spray that foams up on the on the mirror i'd use that on everything wood doesn't matter yeah yeah it's so light that's what i'm saying you Yeah. Fucking Windex on everything. Those wipes have ruined me. Sure. The Lysol wipes, the six of those things.

Done. I just saw, uh... You don't like my wiping, huh? I don't, I'm saying I don't like it. It's just a very... I caught myself doing it the other night. I was real... Diesel, get me to Windex.

It's late. If I'm going to push back, it's laziness a little bit. That's crazy. It's not, Luke shaking his head, yes. It's not, it's more, uh, and then it's just like, it's a big bunch of, there's There's no, there's no, there's no love in it. It's your, you know. What am I?

The karate kid? I do the fucking grain and I'm done. That's, man, I'm insulted. Be honest with you. That was kind of the point of it. You ever see me clean? I was kind of a point in a show. You ever see me clean a bathroom?

I've asked you to clean the bathroom a lot of times. Wait, I should say there's been active poop and pee on the floor that we've asked you to clean up and you have a job. Not active. Not active. What do you mean? Not active. It's out of service. It's all we're tired.

We said, hey, there's poop and or pee on the floor. You got to take care of that. Then you would just sit down and not take care of it for upwards of an hour or two. I'll give you that. But when I do do it, that was my job as a kid. I cleaned the tub. My mom used to rave about it. I'd do it so good.

Get to scrubbing in there. You're looking for a win, aren't you? My mom used to pat me on the back because I used to scrub the tub 43 years ago. You kid needs, bug man needs a W. I'll give it to you. I'm a good wiper. No, you're not You don't wipe your ass well

You don't do nothing well Well documented Pull down your underwear Let me see you right now No It's got out of the shower They're acid-washed underwear And they're like my jeans

Man we stink Yeah What are you gonna do What are you gonna do? We're trying our best What do you want from two fucking dirt bags You gotta just know You gotta get some pledge in here

You want it done nice You know I made an executive order To Ryan D without bouncing it off the team, I'm done. I'm done going to you guys. Furfews oil soap. You don't know what's happened.

No one knows what's happening. Brasso. Luke's busy. He doesn't necessarily care about the things he doesn't care about, which I get. You know, Luke's got a lot on his plate. Not thinking of, you know, there's some stuff that Luke's going. It's not in Luke's realm. Luke's realm is now very specific and very busy, right?

You out to lunch a little bit. What are you getting at? Pinhead. I had D order leather. place mats for here that blend in with the table it'll help on the mic noise it'll help on the scratching your watch the whole nine yards i like that it'll mute it a little bit a little bit clays i like that leather placemats can we get ever think you'd be in a place where you own leather placemats can we get it for the kitchen in the kitchen too sure little things like that you know what i

mean sitting nice and maybe with a little oh and the table yes okay having having a nice nice dinner little salt and pepper shaker over there too that's not bad and the little uh wicker uh holders for No, oh, that'd be nice. Make it a home. Make it a home. What kind of napkins does Patty bang with at the house? Then whack-ass ones? Uh, yeah.

Yeah, that coffee filter Jones. Yeah. Why do I? Well, how is that not upgraded? We use paper towels most of the time. At dinner? Yeah. That's...

She's big on rags, though. That's savage shit. That's like... Paper towels? Yeah, that's frat-house shit, dude. That's what you're using, like, all wipes. Everybody gets one? Got dude wipes on the table?

Listen, I'm a paper towel man myself. We don't have napkins at the house. What are you using? What would you grow up with? The whack-ass... Linen napkins? No, the whack-ass napkins that we still use. But, I mean, to sit down with paper towel.

To have your mom dabber face with fucking bounty... Bring a roll over. He's a little crude. Just bring a roll over. Bang it out. Yeah. No, I, listen, I'm right there with you. I don't like this slander.

What slander? My wiping slander. Just saying. I'd give a grain and go to grain. I know, but it's just, it's, it's just, there's not a lot of love in it. That's all I'm saying. I think that's a fair statement. Luke, I think he should expect that statement.

Yeah. What the, what are you watching me fucking clean up? I mean, come on. Yeah, I mean, I saw there was a, you discarded the paper towel, a bunch of it in the toilet yesterday. Oh, yeah. What am I? It's got to pee all over.

I'm not going to put it. We need to have the fucking rotor-ruda to follow you around. I'll be long gone by that. You're kidding me? That's the next guy's problem. Fuck that. A bunch of stuff great.

Thank you. I wouldn't say is top of your list. What do I do great? More at 11. I can eat a sandwich pretty good. All right. Let's say, guys, we've got a family episode on our hands here.

We're screwing around. Oh, this perfect, man, sometimes the show just links up. And the boys are cooking today. This is ones from your bald cousin Vinny. Shout out to you, never have one read, $10 home slice. Are you trash if your family hung a dish rag? I'm going to push back. I don't think this is, I think this is probably most common.

This is just common behavior, I feel. Are you trash if your family hung a dishrag on the stove handle that was used for everything? I'm talking countertops, drying off dishes, wiping up spills, possibly someone's shit. or even their shirt or their mouth. Yes. Have I been trashed my whole life? We still do that at my house. It'd be a Christmas one too.

Any time of the year. I just had to get rid of the Christmas one in like August. I'm like, babe, what this is? They're great. It was new. And when they're new and not washed, they got no absorption. They suck. It's like using fucking wrapping paper.

Brutal. They get greasy, man. They get so grody. And, like, you dry, it's, listen. That's the oven mitt. That's wiping this. That's wapein that. That's a napkin.

If in a perfect world for my OCD, I'd have a stack that someone else washed, not me. That I, like, like a hotel. There's just a stack of them every day. I don't have to clean them. I don't, because they get groat. They get sauce on them. They smell. They get moldy.

You know what's great? What? I used to work in restaurants. I would always bring on bar rags. Clean bar rags. Yeah. That's what I'm saying if somebody. The buddy did the

If someone did the laundry And was just like, here's five Here's a new one every day That's what you really, if you're really banging That's what you really needed Bourdain used I know, always said clean shit Him and Eric, what's his name?

Roper, what's his boy's name? The French guy? That dude's tight Nice Yeah, there's something I also always steal a rag from the car wash too Yeah

Always We were I never do that That's gross to me. It's just used on everybody else's shit. I get a new one. Where? From the lie, yeah.

From, you know, they just have like brand new rags sitting there for everybody. From the locker. When it's coming out of the dryer, go over to take one. But they're not new. It's used. They're washed. That's gross. That's wiping every dude.

That's going through people. Mugger. I mean, think about what that's wiping. Think about what's in your car at the moment. Think about every person's car. that gets wiped on unless dad they're not like fucking they ain't running through that in the hippocicle them things then things are a go roadie gross yeah uh we were big on uh growing up my dad would always have a box of the husky trash bags which i loved buddy the contractor husky

contractor trash bags and then the blue shop rags yes and the goja then the orange uh fucking gojo smells smells smells so good that that was like a that was a good that was a good That was the mark of, like, a grueling day. That smell on your hand eating like a chicken finger or something at the bar after work. Ooh, that was, you earned your keep that day. A little bit of turtle wax on there. I lived to fight another day. Those contractor bags, everything should just be them.

I couldn't agree more. They're the fucking best. Trash kitchen trash bags should be smaller versions of them. Suck. Great. It sucks. What, suck. The kitchen bags.

Kitchen bags have come a long way. They've come a long way. They've come a very long way. I don't like to smell either. Because if some, by chance, somebody throws out my leftovers or something like that, and I got to go in there and get them, then it has like that, you know, baby powder smell on them. Did you just openly admit to eating out of the trash? If it's like, you know, a couple minutes, I'm, what are you doing?

I'm still eating that. I got to go in there and grab it. If it's in the bag, you grab it out. No? That's not trash. It's like I'm doing it at the next. next day. Adjacent to refuse is refuse.

No, come on. If like, all right, say we had lunch right now and I had a half of chicken Caesar wrap. I went to the bathroom or something like that. I come back a half hour later. Hey, where's my- Half hour now? Where's my chicken Caesar wrap?

I threw it out, but it's in the bag. You don't grab that out of there? No. Hmm. Also, this story's a little suspect. No one in your life. First of all, I've never seen you get up and walk away from from a, listen, these aren't fat jokes.

These are just behavioral things. I've picked up over 15 years of our close friendship. Fair enough. Am I an expert witness on the subject? Yes. I've never seen you walk away from mid-meal and not wrap it up and then make a scene that you're walking away from the meal. Put police tape around it.

I only had half of it is. Only had a quarter of it. You really fucking make it known. At the house, I order a lot. Used to. Was I at the dinner? Can you give me that? I'm a good wiper. This one, all right, this was from Sam Whiskey, never been aired out in public, and I know I say it the wrong way.

Do you pronounce it second or second? Like the time? With OD, second or second? Is this the time? Like a second? or I came in second. The same word, right? Or am I?

Yeah. But used differently. I came in second. It's a second. The time I say second. It's quick. If I got to get there. If I came in second in the race, I say second.

Really? Yeah. A second. I'll be back in a second. I didn't come in second. I came in second. I see the delineation. I'm there with you.

All right. Second, second. Second. You came in second? 15 seconds. 15 seconds. Yeah, that's the time. Yeah, I came in second.

You came in second in the race? Yeah. Loser. Yeah. Being first or last, baby. That was probably high when I said that. Yeah, second. A second.

Okay. I didn't expect that at all. I thought it was going to be. I didn't realize. I see, I can see the, I can understand the mental is second versus seconds. Sure. But I'm second, second, second. About third.

Never happened. Kids a winner. All right, let's see here. This one, I mean, this is from Chubakis Silverstein. Great name. Don't fully understand it, but great name. $10, homie, never had one read. Ever get a boner in front of class?

In eighth grade, when hormones didn't play by the rules, I had to give a presentation and got a random chubby about a paragraph in. Luckily, the presentation was on poster board so I could cover it. up until the teacher kept telling me to hold it up higher so everybody can see trust me everybody so freak that's fucked up not in front of class but in class for sure like rock stiffy can't get up for a couple of minutes yeah and then you're looking if it listen i think classes in high school around that whatever like ninth eighth ninth seventh grade whatever that would be we're about 55 minutes or something like i think a class was if it happened around the church

20 minute mark you're fine because you go this will die down on its own no need to panic but if that hits in the last seven minutes you got loose pants on oh man there's nothing to do there's there's there's there's you got to start thinking about baseball start reading or something like that yeah uh there was always that weird feeling when that subsided and felt like your blood pressure went down it did i mean it's like the blood goes back to your head pumping man i'd kill for that now Oh, young and alive. Somebody else commented on that, on that question. I got a rod at a kayaking class when I was a kid,

and we all just had to pretend it wasn't happening. I think about it and still get horrified. That's great. Yeah, that's a time. I mean, listen, it is what it is when it comes to that. Kayaking class. It's like, I want to go back. I wish I could go back to that petrified me.

I mean I was petrified up until about 37 what am I now 38 39 um crazy I'm 39 uh happy birthday buddy thanks everybody forget me birthday worst summer ever worst summer ever um but uh I just go back and be like man not I wish you could just be like none of this matters even if you have a boner and everybody sees it And it's going to suck for a year It might be your name You might be fucking You know

Sniffy Kippy for whatever But Is it? Let the girls know you're out here swinging I'd get him at work Oh I've gotten them at work Yeah I was working like 15 or whatever

Got one right now I'm gonna get me my life's all like And some poster board That's brutal Yeah I remember I would get them I guess I was probably 16 Yeah, and I'd get them

I'd be a cashier at Acme And I would buy it would pop one You can't control it at that point And you'd have to like Paper plate You get one of them hot milk's coming in Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Starts crotching that a little bit

I'm on my knees Cameron, you get shorter Hurt my back Oh, that sucks When you're hunched over Trying to play it off Ooh, got a slip disc I think a cousin of mine told me

You tuck up into the waistband And you go, especially because Hoodies were big in high school When I was at kids I was like, you were, once you learn that, you're like, I can, I just got to make the tuck Without anybody seeing him That's a little flip.

Yeah, that's, you'd be all right. Walking around with a loaded gun. Look out. This is a great name. This one's from Hot Dog Jesus. That's awesome. Ever calling to work because you won money on a scratch off?

No I've never won enough money on a scratch off To tell anybody to go fuck themselves But I do respect the short-sightedness of this Of like hey What's that got to be? A couple hundred That day

It depends what the job is That's a job That's not a career I presume That's like you're working at the Acme You know that's like an hourly wage Kind of something Or you can easily take your skill

And go to another version of that If you're working at Pet Boys You can say I don't care if you fire me I'm going to Midas type thing Yeah, just hit the number Fuck it It would have to be

Two 300 No, it's got to be more than that Thousand No, two three hundred dollars No, it's more than that Wait, he's calling out for the day Yeah But I'm saying like

It would have to be Because in my head I'm calling out and being like Oh I'm going to go like Do something I can't do At the moment Sure 200

I know but 200's only going to get you fucked up I can get fucked up with what I'm with 60 40 bucks and get fucked up you know what I mean Not that good I'm just saying like there's no $200 doesn't provide you a crazy enough experience To be like sure I need today to be Friday type thing

Okay Depends at what point of my life If I got $1,500 I would quit That's what I'm saying There's no to me there's no like oh I benefit from calling out other than going and getting fucked up

but I can do that with whatever I was never rarely 20 bucks you go with two hurricanes for five bucks you get for five bucks you get fucked up I'm gonna fucking believe you'd be have a boner all week when I was working on a landscape and working in a restaurant if somebody would have handed me $2,000 that's what I'm saying

I would never later it'd be I'd be closer to quitting than calling out at at $1,200 bucks retiring especially if I was already thinking about it If I had already gotten talked to or something, I'd be like, yeah, fucking, okay, tough guy. I already had your staff meal. I'm out of here. That's my dude.

I only know my brother hit the pick four once or twice. That's the only person I ever know that won the lottery. Yeah, I've said I had a buddy of mine in college hit. Big? Yeah, he hit with SEPTA. He hit the Powerball with like a group of people from SEPTA. He worked at SEPTA. That's so tragic.

See, if you can look that up. It was in the paper. It was probably like two. In the, it's probably like 2000. How much did they win? Eleven. I think they each walked with like three or four million dollars. What?

Yeah, they hit like a mega jackpot. Did he keep working there? Yeah. 48 SEPTA workers win $172 million. What? Yeah. I think you probably got $2 million if that, you know, if that shakes out. Holy shit.

Yeah, 2012. Yeah. How crazy is that? He went back? He knew he's like, I'm going to work on Monday. That wouldn't even been a good buy. I think he bought a very, I mean, He did the right thing.

That's not insane. I mean, maybe it was even a million dollars or something after taxes. You said a hundred and something million, 48 people. Do the math on that. 148. You figure you get about half. You get about 45, 60%. Okay.

That's a lot, dude. What was the jackpot? 178. 100, say, yeah. 178 million. So let's say you get 100 million. I have to put a pin in this. Amazing Googling.

That was insane. I gave you a vague year, a word scepta that you don't know, and he hit it. I'm back, baby. You're coming out with like about 1.8 mil. After taxes. Yeah, after taxes. Really? I just divided the total in half and then just $5.48.

I think that was, I remember. That's after taxes. Yeah. You got a million. One, eight. You got two million. Two million. Yeah, I'm gone.

I know. I think he had just got married. and just had, he had like a baby. Yeah, I'm leaving that. I'm out. I'll be a nag's head if you need me. You go to Myrtle Beach like a scumbag. No, you moved down to fucking Costa Rica or something like that.

You're looking like King. Now he did the right thing. He bought a house like a very sensible, like, you know, split-level house. I don't know if he paid cash or, you know, I don't know. The money was probably made cheap back down. Keep the Benny's rolling, too. Yeah. He's got a, except, I mean, he had a good pension.

Yeah, those are good pensions. He worked in the office, like, he was like, not in accounting or, you know, he's like. That's why I'm a scumbag. Yeah. No, for sure. That's, I mean, I'm at that age, I'm, I mean, he's, what? How old was he? I was still in, I had just great.

He might have been 23. Oh, man. Yeah, he was a year or two older than me. I'd be dead. I was probably 21. I'd be dead. I wouldn't be able to control myself. That's very smart at that.

Can you get that in cash? What do you mean? Like actual notes? Yeah. I like to... No, they would send it to your bank, I presume. Okay. I don't think they're handing you a duffel bag for, like...

I don't think fucking Powerball's handing you a duffel bag for... So it would, they would, like, wire it to my checking account. Yeah. And then you'd have to arrange the bank to get that cash. I would take a while to get a million dollars. Or $1.8 million. I got my ATM card. Yeah.

Whoa. Yeah, I'd be dead. Yeah. For sure. I'm aware I'm not pushing back on that at all Man Good for him

Yeah he did the right thing And he was just like I'm you know I'm still gonna be a dollar beer night On the weekend or whatever Like just smart He's probably That guy hasn't fucking worried about money A day since that happened

He goes My house is fucking either paid off Or I got a good enough mortgage Like my monthly payment's probably A few hundred dollars However he fucking structured it Sure Or maybe he paid

completely outright. Sure. He got that in 2012. He's probably turned around and fucking, the value of that house is probably double now at this point. He's fucking chilling his kids taking care of. He don't have to worry. He can go on a nice vacation every.

That's how you do it. I don't have that in me. At 23. No chance. No chance. No shot. I'd have broke Patty off a little something and fucking disappeared. And they'd be looking for me.

Gone. Well, man, still time. Really? That's nuts. That's $1,000 bills. You'll get it in 90 days to a year. What? Because that's just how they're paying out.

They got to make sure it's all. 90 days to a year. That's what they're given. Man, the loans I would be taken out. You'd be like fucking, who is it, Bushemi and Armageddon, who takes all the fucking money out? Because he doesn't think he's coming back. Oh, yeah.

Dude, what the fuck? A year? Oh my God You would die Within that year Out of just pure frustration You will I know you

You get mad now I gotta wait a year I'll give you till Thursday The fucking weekend's coming out You know you could hit J.G. Wentworth Mm-hmm

What do you get 60% Probably less Cool As my D losers Man that's brutal Yeah That always gave me anxiety whenever Like I'd be at work or somebody

I'm going to buy a ticket I go get me one Get me in Because if you fucking hit And I got to come work At the fucking law firm You know pushing Everybody else is down in Florida fishing

I ever tell you my buddies hit This was in college too I think They were gambling They were in the poker They were playing poker In one of the casinos We were probably just 21 It was probably like senior year

Or college or whatever And they were down there and there's a thing called a bad beat jackpot which i don't know if they still do it but like if two crazy hands lose against each other there's like a running jackpot it's to get people there to play okay i mean how like the slot machines have these rolling and like sure so do you have bad beat jackpot yeah read what it is exactly it's like if you have like a certain hands qualify it's like if four of a kind loses to another four of a kind that's considered a bad beat that would qualify for the bad beat jackpot so the money stays there yeah i'm kind of a prize that is paid

when a sufficiently strong hand is shown down and loses to an even stronger hand held by another player yeah so like the idea is that you have a fucking straight flush and someone else has a better straight flush uh-huh that's like insane the chance of the happening are like jackpot winning worthy wouldn't the guy with the better straight flush win the hand he does but as a consolation oh it's like hey play here because if you get a bad beat you'll win it was like like you're like It's like a roll, it's like a lottery. Could be more than the hand. Those hundreds that they want, they hit for like, so I think if you're in the hand, you get half, it might be different.

The guy who won got to get a little something too, right? I know. I think he went. So I forget, hold on, let me get, stop asking questions. Let me get out what I think it is if I remember correctly. Can I have it now? If you're at the table, you get a chunk of it. Even if you're at the table, if you lose the hand, this is what I think it is.

If you lose the hand, I'm making this up. You get 50% of the jackpot, which was like $150,000. Then if you're at the table, you get, that other 50% is, like, broken up. So everybody gets 15 grand. You got to be playing. I can't just be sitting there having a drink run on my mouth, right? You're not allowed to sit at a poker table if you're not playing. It's me.

Hit me up. So what do you have there? It seems like all the tables share in the bad beat jack. All the tables do. I think it's dependent on the casino. Yeah, yeah, whatever. They hit. The one kid was in the head.

The one kid lost the hand. So he got the fucking lion's share of this roving jackpot. Yeah. His other boy was at the table as they were playing together. He got broken off, making up 11 grand, 18 grand, something like that. So now they just come across like $80,000 when they were playing like, they each put up $200 or something like that. I'd be dead. They called their boys.

They were like, get down to it. Atlantic City. They ball ball plane tickets from Atlantic City to Florida to like Miami. They flew to Miami. They bought clothes. They were like, let's just fucking go. And they were like, fuck it out. I remember like, damn, that's fucking. That's how you do it. I mean, yeah. And Monday, you're fuck. But they were rich kids from, those were kids. I was a kid that first iPhone ever saw. I think he was part of it.

Ninety seven. His name was Gary Jobs. All right. I got the payout. out for Mohegan, 40% of the bad beat jackpot will go to the bad beat hand. I'm close on on it. Okay. 20% of the bad beat jackpot will be awarded to the winner of the hand. Okay. And then 40% divided among the table. Yeah. So if you're just at the table, you wet your beat. See what a bad beat jackpot is. I mean, I think this was like a hundred and something. Yeah. I saw another one on Reddit was like 400 grand. Yeah. It's crazy. It's like because it's so hard for, because only certain hands qualified and it's so hard for one for that to happen that

when it's like if it doesn't hit we put a dollar it's like I don't know you know it just keeps going up it's pretty sweet and then a bunch of people flocked there to the idea is a bunch of people flocked there to play to hit the baby check card yeah go down to Miami that's how you do it yeah I've never been like I've ever being like man I wouldn't even know

how to buy a plane ticket that same day I wouldn't at that time I wouldn't know I remember busing tables at the pizza place I booked the first time I really flew as an adult where I bought the plane ticket was I flew to Dublin to meet Pat and Gouge and it was a banner ad fly to Dublin for $450 and I had just gotten back I had sold my books at Temple like at the end of the semester and I had I think I got like 360 bucks back I'm like I can figure out this other 90 business you

You know what I mean? Talk about a bad beat. And I bought that plane. I thought I was in fucking catch me if you can. You did some business. I was like, I remember walking into flips room being like, oh, if you need me, I'm going to be doing nine layovers to get to Dublin. Need a chemistry book by any chance? I didn't know.

I landed in Dublin and left the airport. No, I landed in Heathrow and didn't know what to do, and I left security. Did you not know you were in England, not Ireland? I didn't know. I didn't know how to try. I didn't know, I never, I didn't know what I was doing. I thought it was done. I left security.

And then I was like, I'm not supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to be out here. I caught a heater to get my bearings and then had to go back through security. And the guy was like, I like, didn't get stamped. Something happened. Hey, Chief, where's the Guinness around here? For Ireland, there's a lot of Brits around here. Yeah.

Oh, it must be Northern Ireland. Yeah, just like, I didn't know anything. I'd get so nervous and, like, what the show ID, where, as... Who bought those books? Not you, I assume, right? Loans. Loans, I'd get my loans.

They'd give you, like, you know, the government, or I guess Sally May, dumb bitch. The government. That's a government subsidy or something, right? Or some sort of... They ain't private. I know that much.

FBI bought these babies. Yeah, you would... They would give you that you could get, like, fronted the money. Or they would send me all the money. Because I had to pay for housing. I always took out more money than I needed. Me too. How you doing?

I remember getting, like, $9,000 sent to me, and I was like, you dumb motherfuckers, dude. You dumb motherfuckers. How much was housing? That's probably, I probably needed it all for housing. But not up front. It's Monday's problem. I remember my mom going, give me that money. Give me that money.

What money? Dude, I was ducking her call. You fucking think you're going to have to come to North Philly and get me Nine grand. Oh dude. It's crazy. Who wants chicken fingers? Oh my God. Everybody. We're doing everything. Yeah. Couldn't tell me shit. Yeah. And then it ruined my credit. Oh, yeah. I told you our business manager is like, I can't get a guy. I got a fix. You can fix anybody's credit. And he got back to me. He's like, can't do it. Can't do it. He goes, you have judgments. You have defaults. You're like, you love. Like, you just can't do it. You still have that history book? I always got the shitty books. I don't think I ever got new books.

I would always try to not buy the books because that way you got a little extra cash then. Or like you split it with a buddy. But then when I was in, they started putting a CD in. You needed this CD. Who was it? Kid Rock? With the bar da bang da bang diggy.

I never understood that shit. Well, no. CD raw. Like, that was like the supplemental workshop. Work pages or whatever You needed to put the CD in your computer And then like complete stuff on that So that's how they fucking got

So you couldn't even buy the used one Because you needed the fucking CD I remember my fucking Econ professor It was his book And he had a new one every year And I went you fucking slimy motherfucker You slime now you're allowed to do that In the conflict of interest

You're selling your own book to your students Rat motherfucker Fucking bullshit Thank God I missed all that stuff He was a piece of shit I remember you'd always like brag I'm on MSNBC I'm on Fox News I'm like you're playing both sides

you have a little fucking backbone will you MSNBC Hey C-SPAN Zippin I got nine Gs on me I remember he was dude he was talking about the Fed lower in rates and I'm like I don't even I can't start to comprehend

what the fuck you're talking about I still don't get it I get it a little bit more but he's like and Ben Bernanke Was that a guy? Who? He kept going, well, that's Ben Bernanke's problem. I'm going, is he in this class? Who's Ben Bernanke?

He was the guy. He was the head of the Fed. He was mentioned him like he was like the closer for the Phillies. I'm like, I ain't never fucking heard of this guy. This guy ain't never bought me a beer. Ryan Howard, Dick Ed. Vi Sykehamma. Shut up I'm talking

Ron Jaworski Local heroes Fuck what Who's the guy I was heard Henry Kissinger Or something like that He used to yap about

I mean Kissinger I think Greenspan was another guy Yeah That's all I heard That I thought he was like The President of C-SPAN They were banging It's a lot of spans

Going on Ran Nickelodeon Alan Greenspan was the 13th Chairman of the Fed And then Ben Bernanke The 14th Who was the 15th? Who's the head of

of the Fed now? What I know their name? Are they probably flying? Powell, right? Colin Powell? No. Jerome Powell. I've never heard of that. I've never heard of that guy. Sounds like a jazz singer. Yeah. He's got cash, huh? He controls all the cash.

Yeah? Yes. If I wouldn't want that job. That's how you get clipped. Man, these fucking people get to. I'd be skimming. Oh, yeah. Skimming to skimbing the skimmy. And nothing there. It's all change.

Fractional reserves. Yeah, fuck that. Jesus Christ. All right, let's see here. Time for a couple more here. This is welcome to the fucking, you know, finance corner here. This one's from Cleveland Steamer. $10 petty criminal, never have one read.

Love that. Is it garbage a takeout a loan with a lower interest rate to pay off one with a higher interest rate? I'm drowning here, but that's our. right, because I'm a strong swimmer. Respect it. Isn't that what consolidating your debt is? Mm-hmm.

Right? You get like a lower rate. I think that's smart. But I think a consolidation loan, you don't actually get the money. I think they pay the stuff off for you. He's handling it right, get a little cash. Yeah, a little bit of walking around money. Yeah.

But that seems smart to me. Pay off expensive money with cheap money. Of course. You're right. It's a debt consolidation. Yeah In a dirtbag way No I think that's what it is

That's smart That's smart business To me You ever take a loan Luke No I'm taking some money off the street Am that crazy You've never owed anyone money

School your school was paid for Yep Motherfucker You don't have a car loan Nope You ever took a personal loan out Nope Good for you

How's your credit Really good That's yours Yeah yeah The fucking Ray Donovan of credit Can't fix this thing I'm fucked Hey Ray

I took a dick pick Called David Blaine Over here Trying to figure something out Trying to make some of These judgments Never taken a loan Always been back

By the Dempsey group No kidding Yeah That's pretty good I wonder what mine is You ever maxed out a credit card Or anything like that I've always

My dad just was like Put that fear of God into me early Where he's like never do that I'll give you money A buddy of mine who like their family didn't have like they were like real fucking you know not paycheck to pay but like

modest income you know what I mean they were so good with money that like he goes his dad he turned 16 you know it's when we all got like real beater I got the fucking Lumina everybody had like beater cars like my crew all had fucking we weren't like you know the

the hoity tooty kids you weren't making payments no we've my we just got they bought me in a $1,100 car. And they're like, this is what it is. Which I was grateful for, shout out to the loom. Still own one, still a parent owner.

But he goes, my dad got me a credit card in my name. I remember being like, what the fuck? And he goes, I put my gas on it, and he pays it off to start building my credit. I knew kids that had that. And I'm like, that sounds like the fucking most Ben Bernankei shit I've ever heard in my life, dude. I wanted to use another word, but I didn't goddamn family program. You're that Jimmy, pal? Yeah, I'm like... I knew kids

that had that. And I remember going, they just took my dad's navigator out of the fucking driveway, the repo guy did. My problem was a couple of my boys had that situation, but once we found that out, they were dirtbags enough where we started

exploiting that to the point where they got yanked, the card got yank. Sure. Well, this was just like just gas or whatever. That's crazy. Pat had one for a very short time freshman year for emergencies when he went to college. I got two words, cash advance. No, I got two words.

Kavanaugh's roof deck. We were in there. That might is. I'm sorry, Mr. Stutsky, you listen to the program. You know, I was spending the Stutzky's fucking credit card. More everything. Well, your son would get blackout drunk. I'd have to take care of him.

I was tight on cash. That night the fucking fast performance hadn't hit yet. That's how we got home. I needed a taxi. You had a little 7-Eleven, maybe a little pizza hut, a wah-wow. You're signing the bill at the... Yeah, yeah. That was just to get...

I mean, you know, but like, he's got to go. I'm like, well, I wasn't ready to close my tab out. You're shipping and handling, huh? I got to take the bus like an asshole. Yeah, he got that yanked. I mean, we were so bad with... No, everyone in my crew. Horrible.

Was, like, get it. Spend it. But the one thing I do respect is we spend it as a crew. Sure. If you had 40 bucks, your boy had 20. We were very like... Of course. Hey, just whatever.

You got 20 bucks? Go get a case of fucking... Of course. A $14 case of beer. We'll figure this to fuck out. Someone's going to take the heat on Monday. Yeah. Someone's got heaters.

Hey, I just got a fresh pack. I got you through the night. Whatever the fuck it was. Yeah. Let me get you. I get the gear. Whatever. Man.

How it is, baby. I could have had that million. I could have been clean. Only if I worked at SEPTA. You know how far that would go with Kavanaugh's? What? I guess Mr. Stutzky. A million?

Well, Kavanaugh also had 50 cent drinks, I think. I think of how many fucking beers you could have got for that shit. For a million bucks, it fucked up. That's two million drinks. Two million drinks. No tip. You'd be fucking out bartender being pissed. Let me get two million rumming goods.

Here's one million dollars. All right, we got to wrap it up. Gang, we love you to death. Yeah. Back on the road. Come see the boys. Back. West Coast Run, kicking it off.

Portland, Seattle, San Fran, and then down there to La La Land, Braia. Brea, I think it's on the outskirts. Ooh, that's where we belong, baby. Listen, we're a fucking outskirts crew, baby. The wrong part of town. We ain't Hollywood. We're the outskirts.

We're the wrong side of the track. Seeing Recita. See and seeing the Bernadino. Gang, we love you. See you next week. Hey!