Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Kohl's Cash w/ Kippy & Foley!

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Ship Station: Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/GARBAGE Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! Mando: https://shopmando.com/ Promo Code: Garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hang on a second there gang New York City in the great state of Connecticut. Are you garbage and friends is coming your way? We're bringing some of our favorite guests from the show to answer your garbage questions Yeah, we're gonna be at chelsea music hall on november 8th in new york city and then uh november 22nd We're gonna be in stanford connecticut all tickets available at are you garbage.com. We want to see you there Gang it's mint mobile time, baby Our favorite time here on thecom. We want to see you there. Yeah. Gang, it's Mint Mobile time, baby. Our favorite time here on the podcast. We love that Mint Mobile. You want to know why?

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His broad's been using it, do yourself a favor, get over to Mint Mobile. Yeah, it's a great deal. If I said it once, I said it a bajillion times here. My family's been, my wife's been using it for years. It's part of our fiber of our relationship, is that Mint Mobile. You two might not be together if it wasn't for Mint Mobile. How about that?

You're not wrong, because listen, I was jammed up, right? I couldn't afford a new wireless plan for this broad to have when she came to America. He said, I'm gonna take it, take it, take it. Found out about this Mint Mobile way before the podcast was even a podcast. Badda bing, badda boom, she's still using it. So you can get this new customer offer

with your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month. Go to mintmobile.com slash garbage, go to mintmobile.com slash garbage that's mintmobile.com slash garbage. You cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month, mintmobile.com slash garbage. A $45 upfront payment is required, which is the equivalent of $15 a month for three months.

New customers on first three months plan only, speed slower, about 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions may apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Hey! It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah.

They're just a big old piece of trash. Garbage. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a chilly day out back here at Tooties in a new edition. Broad hasn't turned the goddamn heat on. I'm freezing out here. I'm freezing out here cold the shit near. I'll tell you this though wait for dinner tonight Rios frozen pizza just hit the market and boy are we excited here with My coach is coming at you from across the tables what we call a family episode Just the boys the bozos and the homies. He is the CEO of are you garbage?

He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. What up everybody? Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and obviously the greatest website of

all time www.patreon.com slash are you garbage? Go over there and get all your bonus content needs gang.patreon.com slash are you garbage go over there get all your bonus content needs gang yes sir um Wanted to ask you this okay? Okay, this guy fucking double clutching over here talk about shifting gears Hachi-machi I'm broadcasting here okay, my cousin hit me up about this god money What are they what are they hitting you up for now? Do you want a button down shirt on normally like a regular shirt? No, I don't have the body to do that. It doesn't get over the butt.

It doesn't get over the belly. I do it all the way. You're talking about you can't pull a button. You can't have a button down shirt buttoned and put it over top of you. No, like a T-shirt. I do that all the time. That's great. I just actually watched you do it out there now Yeah, I think about yeah, I'm not why I got shit to do. I'm not wasting time. I'm buttonin that already buttoned. That's great That's it. That's what aliens do that's that's how that's how aliens think they fit in and when they're here on earth, dude That's crazy. Yeah

Cuz I dry them buttoned I I dry my button down shirts. I don't have that many button down shirts. I got a lot of them. Short sleeves. Mine don't button most of them. I keep them, you know. More of a blazer. Put a pair of shoulder pads in that shirt called a day.

Does that button? Probably, but it's too tight. Not like comfortably. None of my stuff buttons comfortably. Yeah, this little button. It's that button, it's this button that like second from the bottom. Your boobs are popping out.

It's the second from the, it's a boostier I got going on here. Oh yeah, the second from the bottom. Second from the bottom is where the fucking rubber hits the road, that's where a lot of the girth on me is. I'm what they call pear shaped. Yeah. Uh. More of an avocado. The good fat. me is I'm what they call pear shaped.

Uh, more of an avocado. The good fat. Um, yeah, no. So I don't, uh, I used to, I've never done that in my life. That I'm to that wrinkles too quick on me. What do you mean? If I know I putting it on like that. Yeah, it would all get crunch crunched up here That's very big and loose fitting on you that shirt. That's not thank you for the couple man fucking 9x. It should be

I'm going 90s, baby Yeah, no, I wouldn't do that that was always I try not to button still the second I button something it's all Crinkle crinkle. I'm saying a beer down shirt that you gotta wear buttoned never I've never done that in my life That's trashy to do that. I don't think it's classy. I think the classy thing is a gentleman would be to fucking take it's in a perfect World it's dry cleaned you take it out of that plastic, which I don't like that plastic Gives me the EPG makes my blood run cold thinking about it. How much are they spending on hangers too over there to dry cleaners? Give you a free hanger.

What is it? Sometimes the nice ones. I love our customers or whatever. That was the big one. I remember that was the first time I realized that like I thought that was just at Earl's Cleaners. I thought that's just what Earl's was throwing out and then I saw one in Jersey. I'm like, you go to Earl's too?

That's all right. That's my sister worked at a dry cleaner. My sister did. Yeah. What? Yeah. I ain't Korea town. That's a weird summer job for a young lady.

I don't think it was a summer job. That is all the girls. They would like work the counters. That's like, you know, the old. Who owned it? I don't know. It was called Susie Q Cleaners. Fair enough. I guess Susie Q. But I think there was a couple locations.

It was right next to the hair cuttery when they they redid the they read the shopping center. You know, it was like an old shopping center. Old suburban, like just the straight strip mall. Love it. Right? Anchor on the end was a super fresh. They had a they had a Phil's I believe was Phil shoes epic video a right aid They got a back room at that epic video. They did that was my first back room Foray my buddy Matt showed I didn't know what it was. He's like over here. I said what the heck are those?

Talk about Gazanga's that was the store room. Uh Yeah, then then um she worked at a dry cleaner. Yeah. And some chemicals are no good for a young person, I don't think. I don't even know that she wasn't doing that. She was just at the front. Still around. But some dude came in with a set of drawers with a big old duke in them. A poop. Yeah.

He had shit his pants and they came in a plastic bag and my sister being like I'm not fucking touching them that we gotta run that through to wash You trash what are you talking if they're the bad enough that you got them airtight in a hefty bag You can't be having other people clean that mess, but that's a big thing. It's a load out of there at least That's a big thing. You gotta get the load out of there at least. That's a big thing I think. Bigger, big enough that, I remember somebody else said that, I was talking to someone else that worked in a dry cleaning too, they said that happened. Folks, if you just shit your pants, come on down to Suzy Q's. Get you, get you set up. Be like, it never happened. Fresh pair of drawers on you. Uh, yeah, pants he was returning, I think. Yikes.

Yeah, I remember that was like- That guy puts a button down shirt on. That guy don't own a button down shirt. He's got a nice pair of pants. Had. Had. Yeah, and I remember my sister being like, they weren't even like, it was just like a pair of dockers.

Or so it wasn't even like a pair of European pants or something like that, that you're like, there's a certain threshold- You see, caveriches, I understand. There's a certain threshold of dollar amount where you're like, there's a certain threshold. She's a caveriches, I understand. There's a certain threshold of dollar amount where you're like, I got to try to clean these. But you do that in the tub at home or something. Let them soak for a little while. For sure.

That's crazy to be like, Hey, I just shit my pants. Also how long were they at the hat? That's like, did he shit his pants and go right to the dry cleaner? Was he in his underwear when he walked in? I don't think so. Yeah, that was, that was her job. He think so. Yeah, that was that was her job. He had these ready in an hour. That was her job. And we never went there.

I remember my dad was very anti Susie Q. He was an Earl's man. Uh huh. Uh, then so we never got everything dry cleaned. Yeah, as well die his genes. He did everything. Everything. Every time I got to stop by the dry cleaner, who do we fucking wait? Oh, your money. Every day we're at the dry cleaners on the way to school on the way home from school

Stopping a fucking Earl's was right next to a while weasel so you fucking top off with a 16 ounce cup of Maybe I grab myself as sizzling Here's a heavy starch man, I assume right Oh starch it up we had that starch spray Did you ever have that? It was like a can of spray paint. Spray and starch. Spray and starch. Scotch off or something like that? No, that's Scotchgard. That'll fuck you up. I don't know what that... You run out of beers, that'll set you straight.

That'll take the edge off. I think it was... Saving money, though. I remember we had the spray. Yeah, spray and starch. He be hitting stuff up, yeah. Can you iron? Do you know how to iron something?

I'm pretty good. When I had to work at Macy's, I had to iron. You did? What? Oh, you had to iron your clothes. Yeah, my suit. I'd wear a suit every day. You weren't, I thought you were ironing there.

No, I had to wear a suit every day. So I had to make sure, I would just do the front of the shirt too, because that was the only thing exposed. Of course. And I had that little fucking dorm room, I was in college, I had that little dorm room thing like tape like the little dorm room. Little ironing board? Yeah it only goes up like three inches. It's like a little skim board or something it stinks. I think you're eating the Japanese joint. Sitting there Indian style. Yeah I hated that so I learned how to iron it and same

thing when I would wear button ups. Button ups became cool in high school. Once Jay-Z stopped wearing jerseys and started wearing button ups. This is probably too, and Usher, this is early. I've seen the photos. Yeah, so that we had. You didn't quite pull it off the same as Jay-Z, did you?

What? Your bars were a lot weaker too. I remember not knowing why mine weren't cool. And because I was buying, I was buying, I was buying on the Coles. You can see your blue t-shirt through it. Yeah. But I was buying them at Coles.

Cause I was, to me that was at the time, I didn't know anything about anything. And my mom shopped at Coles and I didn't know there was like, I didn't realize at that point that Coles was, you know, not the highest end of fashion. Does that make sense? I don't know if I would say that. Well, you should, because it's the truth. As a high school kid or college kid of trying to be cool,

Coles isn't the place you're going for. If I was trying to dress like a rapper, I wouldn't go there. You know what I mean? If I was trying to dress like a construction worker, go into like a graduation party. That's where you go. Sure. That's where money in the envelope. That's a couple of IOUs.

A couple of calls. You always go classic with button downs. You go arrow. All right. You go polo. I couldn't afford polo. What about Van Husing? Remember him? Yeah, that that's all.

That was all my dad's. That was like that was good stuff. You get an old you get an old what's it powder blue sky blue? Yeah Button down with that. It's a different kind of fabric. It's like more it's like cottony Sure, I don't really know fabrics if I'm being honest like weaved a little bit sticker. Yeah nice blue button I gotcha. Yeah, those are Chris like your used car car salesman. Mm hmm. Uh huh. Yeah, no. I never had any. Yeah, no. All my stuff was either TJ Maxx when I was in a pinch

or Cole when I tried to be cool. I went out and bought a bunch. I think they were Sonoma was the brand. Ah, yes. Sonoma. Man. Familiar with it. These this was this one. I remember this one. There's been pictures floating around Instagram or whatever I've posted. It's me and my three boys. You got a big fitted hat on.

And this thing was like lace. It was like a nightie, dude. It was like something your girl would put on to turn you on like that. You could see through it. It just immediately got wrinkle. It was fucking brutal. And there I am trying to score chicks. Man, a chick just wearing a button down shirt.

I don't think I've ever seen it. I mean, I've seen it in the videos that I've watched. That's what I'm talking about. Pretty woman. I mean, my wife's not doing that. Sliding down like risky business. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Ah, that's all right. Yeah, no, that's an insane way to put on clothes to me.

That's like keeping your pants buttoned and putting them on, which don't work for me. I've done that. When my jeans get loose enough, I can just pull them down and go tinky. Oh, my jeans can come off. I can pull these down. It'd be a tough, I'd be pushing a sack in and stuff to get it up though, because your sack goes down, right? Your sack and your wiener go down.

So when, if it's above it, the tension keeps that down, but to come up, you gotta sure catch a hanger, take a little off the top. Will you like a pop balloon hanging on the wall? Yeah, no, that's not a, that that's an, to me, that's an insane way to get dressed. That's like the sock shoe that's, yeah, no, I have not a... That's an, to me, that's an insane way to get dressed. That's like the sock shoe, that's sock, yeah, no. I have a very set order of operations that I perform. Your shirts don't button. They button, I just wouldn't wear it buttoned.

Fat bastard. What, yeah, really? Not me. New year, new you. New year, new me. New lies, everybody, new lies everybody new lie got my Gary Brekka pills there you can't tell me nothing I lost mine I don't know what happened I think my wife doesn't think they're safe so she threw them out why

wouldn't they be safe I don't know Gary yeah I don't know I'm like where are my pills she's like I don't know I'm like they were fucking here yesterday where am I where are my pills do you do you use a pill thing now are you at that point in your life yet no I don't think it I don't take medication for anything you don't take a daily anything baby aspirin I'm a fucking full-grown man I took two half and half so I took two snake bites today my shoulders acting up Tylenol and ibuprofen yeah a. A little bit. I did take a fucking whack off his scotch card. My daily, get my daily huffing in. I got my pill thing.

Yeah, no, I don't, I don't, I take my hems for my hair. I take my Gary Brekker pills until she dumped them. And that's it. it maybe some Advil no multivitamin other than the Gary Brekker's before that? no really? I'm fucking all natural this body should be on something

this body's all natural what did doctors did you get an EKG and all that shit done? no, EKG? I got a good ticker EKG? fucking got a widow maker. Kidding me, dude. This guy's high strung. What are you talking about?

You're an anxious fellow. You should go get an EKG and an echocardiogram. Aren't they the same thing? EKG and that's what I said. I thought you said to get EKG and an I or G. You misheard me. Probably having a stroke All right, let's quit screwing around we got a goddamn family episode to get to yeah hit it gang

As you know when you sign up for the old patreon you have your question read on the air by Kevin James Ryan himself I don't like when you do that You fucking really go into 90s broadcaster, and that's what we're about to do right now here on aces high Watch that the other day Yeah, man, you've watched you watch four movies a year, and it's just over over I caught it on TNT Yeah, that's the bad one. Ah they sock the bad version I don't know how Sharon Stone thing you nominated for didn't win an Academy Award for that. Yeah, I saw a crazy I'm to the age where I'm back on Facebook

Okay, that's that's a certain type of parental level you hit like yeah, yeah, that's like your parents are on phase I'm back on the book. They got my number for your political memes Can you believe this? I'm sharing both sides just just ruffling feathers. I don't understand anything. Man, my mom's Facebook is insane. Sure. It's like she's doing it from Arkham. I had the fucking Denise the other day goes, uh, she hit me with other day goes, she hit me with. So and so what company emailed her? Somebody, some big company emailed her.

Click this link. Your thing is she's first of all, there's a there's a bunch of Denise's on Facebook. Sure. I've just been I've just been hacked. Don't open anything. Many lives of Patty Foley. My mom works at a call center in Pakistan. Those two are going to end up on the dark web bumping into each other. It was like, you know, Comcast or fucking somebody,

some phishing scam where they go, click here for your thing. And I go, I told her, I go, don't ever click anything in an email. If it's that important, they'll call you. They're going to mail you a letter. They're not going to shut your shit off. There's no important. You are not getting any important emails from someone you don't know.

Let's leave it that. No company's emailing you that you need to act now. Nothing. Don't be clicking on. Don't ever click anything in the email. She goes, I clicked it today. Jesus. What the fuck? Patty did the same thing. She got it.

I go, you'll be on. I looked at it. I'm like, can you see the email address was like xxpx4977p.comcast.xx4 at fucking hacker.net. And I'm like, you just fuck. I'm like, you'll be be fine you got nothing on there I guess your colds cash might be some fucking fresh fucking some fresh clothes kit. This is Mando Mando my favorite that all over body deodorant gang

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with our exclusive code. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack. our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack. Use the code garbage at shopmando.com. That's s-h-o-p-m-a-n-d-o.com. Do it. Gang, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. The bestest help. Talk therapy, gang. Uh huh. Very important. If you got some stuff going on, do yourself a favor, get over to BetterHelp and talk it out with them. them okay this isn't something for your friends or your family get a licensed therapist and talk it out doesn't have to be a big problem could be a small problem or you could be trying to you know change the way you live in it's

important and they can help a little birdie told me someone at this table recently started doing a little talk therapy I'm straight crazy right now yes I have and everybody's been telling me to do it for years and I blew it off and I had one before that I didn't like. All right, better help straighten me out. Visit betterhelp.com slash garbage day to get 10% off your first month. That's better help Help.com slash garbage one more time get a pen get a pencil if you're crazy If you just want to get a little some stuff off your chest, that's better help get it off Help.com slash garbage do it. Mm-hmm Yeah, Patty got a text you today about something act and you have to act now Otherwise, this is gonna happen or something like that. We're like don't fuck delete it delete it. Yeah, I say don't don't get done. I get how they get got

Crazy, it's uh, yeah That movie the beekeepers about ever see the beekeeper Stray them stay them stay them. Yeah, he's all right in it He fucks people up in that man because he was living with this broad and she got fished took all her money some of his he went and cleaned house Yeah, I was just watching a opening movie blew up the building more of an act 3 type of Scenario off the top rolled right in with a couple of gas can't gas tanks burn the whole place to the got that in you you think What you get fucking?

Level a joint I get enough scotch-guarded me probably What would be your big listen let's say I don't know you Whatever I steal I mean if I'm settling the score. Yeah, what level are you taking it to? Give me a second. Someone steals a hundred grand from me. I don't got it. I know. Good luck with that.

Let's just say they wipe out your checking and your savings. I got Navy Federal backing that up. Okay, just stop throwing fucking, stop poking plot holes in it. I can only spend 500 a day and they clear you They keep you and then they take out a loan in your name something something. Uh-huh, and you're a fucked or Put a bunch of bets in it on your to something you you you my split knee action And you get got what are you doing? You're you? How do I can do have I found them do I know where they are?

You know who it is you know where they. And is it is it like a center? It's like it's like a pump and dump scam. It's a it's a play. It's a place where they're there. They got some they know what to do to criminals. They got some nickel on. Are you calling you just calling the cops saying, hey, they did that? Are you going? Let me get let me round up a posse and go get go get what's due to me. Are they local? I'm not traveling. How much gas we talking in? Yeah, they're within an hour drive. They're within an hour drive. Now is it gonna be like in the movie where there's no criminal repercussions? What do you mean? Like am I gonna the cops gonna be looking for me? Yeah if you blow up a fucking if if you level an office building, probably, they're gonna have some questions.

They were robbing people. Um... You gotta get away with that, too. So you gotta fucking- you gotta duck the fuzz and get away from the fucking, uh, you know... Huh. The cartel or whatever it is. Maybe start off with an email. I'd go in and ask him for my money. Click this, I swear to God it's safe

From H Foley this is totally safe and click I would go in there and ask him for my money back And then what what do you think they're just roll over and go? Yeah, then I'd start with the karate start fucking people up. I Don't know if I could blow up a building. I don't what I would maybe wouldn't know how to Cuz he did it with two cans of gas that ain't gonna work. Now I wouldn't know how to small fire best. I would be if this place is on the first floor. You don't want to do the stairs. But am I going up three floors? Fuck off. It's a walk up. These guys earned it. Best revenge is living well. I would drive a car I wouldn't be in it

But I would do that thing where you drive and then I that doesn't work with the cinder block I put a brick on the gas pedal and I'd fucking barrel roll out of there My shoulder doesn't get over the curb My foot gets stuck it's dragging me. Yeah, I wouldn't know how to do that. How could you? You would have to... You'd have to turn the gas on or something in there. Get that going a little bit. Let it fill up the building. But then they're gonna smell that and go, we gotta clear out.

The alarms are gonna be going off. Well, they'll be all tied up. I tied everybody up. Disarmed everybody. Made out with a couple of brats. I got that nice suit on. Got my van Hughes in shirt on. Now I don't know if I don't know if I could I would if I'd go in and act like I worked there like I was a new guy infiltrate it really learn the systems really. I advising in the water tank. I gained their trust as like a new young I departed I'd be Leo in the departed

That's not bad go in there working from the inside you got good from them But you fish from them in the skin you skim the skin pretty good. They give it back to everybody then blow up the building their ass on a motorcycle out of there and go get laid You on a beach somewhere we're not blowing up the building guys no I am call the cops guy a hundred cops ain't gonna do shit white-collar crime district I know my rights I've made my god-damned taxes no lone shooter get involved in that what. What? I miss. Remember how scary it was?

Do you remember the DC sniper when he was going around? Yeah. Dude in a trunk. I didn't know where it was. Remember they told you to pump your gas like this. I was like, what the fuck? How would you catch the guy? What are we doing here? Fucking Bob and we even while I'm trying to put five bucks in my tank.

Pack of chicklets uh-huh fuck that dude you ever mess with a chicklet yeah back in the day chicklet guy Yeah, yeah, yeah back in the day love to check do a couple check the fruity ones Really I would buy them the same time we learned how to box are a tough you pull those out now But as well have those the velvet things they're They're like rose flavored or lavender flavored candies. You know I'm talking echoes now not necko wafers They there's similar new consistency, but they're square.

They're called velvet something. They're lavender candies. Lavender? Yeah, some kid I used to work with at Devon Seafood used to have them. And you had to really be in a pinch to get one of them, to eat one of them. You smell like a funeral home.

My wife made lavender tea like two summers ago. Thought I was drinking chemicals. I was like, I think you put too much in here. This is no good. I'm burping up bubbles all day. Crab grass tea? Get out of here with that kid. You got them lipsticks.

Give me a fucking DC. What are we doing here? No, the only thing, we would buy chiclets when we were, we found out where we could- It was a dad thing. I know, but there was this place, it was a Krauser's Mart where we would skate there. That was like the skate spot. That was a cruise, I didn't really do it.

But they found out we could buy cigars underage there, so I was buying a bunch of Philly Blunts to smoke and Swisher Sweets. And that's where we would buy, they had chiclets, I'd buy chicklets there too real gentleman roll lady killer I couldn't go in and just buy cigars she'd be on to me couple black and white she also she also told me she goes oh you're 14 you're a lot of biome I was like all right first of all I'm 12 yeah the four chunkies I'll throw her off the scent I'm buying a Wall Street Times or whatever. Oh, Wall Street Journal. You made a hustler, too. We get one of them playgirls, too.

It's for the girl for my wife. The wife's out of town. Take a look at that thing. Oh, all right. All right. Let's get into it. This is from how you do. Have your parents ever had a sleepover? I came out of my room and my dad said, shh, be quiet, Ron's in the guest room.

Holy shit. That's not a sleepover. That's Ron was too fucked up to drive. That's a sleepover. I mean, it's not like they're watching a movie. I don't want some guy named Ron in my house If I don't know Ron uncle Ron sure You know I've gotten fucked up in my brother's place or my sister's playing fucked up a lot of places, but

I've cracked you know I'll crash there. Oh, yeah, they tell the kids think you're sleeping over. That's you're staying here seriously Yeah, yeah, yeah Fucking I'll get up early. Wely will make yeah we'll go to the park 130 the dude I'm fucking puking in the uber eats guys shows up at the door just for you with a chicken cheese yeah it's it's so that's like you sell to them like you're fucking real fun uncle kippy sure meanwhile you're like you can barely you're ossified you can barely see yeah I decided I don't want to stay and spend some time with you guys

Gonna get me a beer Grab me a gatorade in a couple of thousand. I tell you that I asked my my niece is a never I don't even know who there's fucking six of them. They're all running around I go oh grow right up to go grab me a Coors light or whatever my mom goes No, no, no, she doesn't like the kids getting you beers. I said, what the, I used to bar to end up the Christmas party when I was eight. I'd do it for tips.

Like my niece and nephew go get me weed. Hey, why don't you go meet my guy? Chickens is at a bar down on Fulton Street. I used to go to Fulton Street. Man, that was dangerous. Yeah. Whoo. Pulling in there.

Whoo. Getting some heroin. A little dust. Dust. Was it dust? The tea leaves that were soaked in formaldehyde. Wet. Yeah.

Yeah. That was the first time. Well, I was way too young to be introduced to what I was in seventh grade If you want to be this kid got wet, and I was like dude What fucking training they had just dropped so that was big I was in junior high and they we had wet. I didn't touch it. I was a fucking good Christian boy, but I was a fucking good Christian boy, but The other kids started stealing kids started smoking sherm in the suburbs at fucking 13 Which is crazy if you want to guarantee that you're not gonna finish your homework

Talk about Unproductive uh-huh that guest rooms always freezing cold when you stay at somebody's house. Yeah, it's like sleeping in a fucking mortuary Yeah, it's never any good Blankets always suck. It's like kind of a queen-size bed feel weird in there. There's no carpet. It's got the bad frame Yeah, it's not never good creep me out. No, that's fucking weird. I mean That's not really if that was I can if like my parents if I was a kid and my parents were like hey, so I was like, if like my parents, if I was a kid and my parents were like, hey, so Dave and Cindy are going to stay over tonight. They're coming over. We're going to watch a movie and then they're going to sleep over.

That's weird to me. Your parents are watching a movie with another couple. No, that never happened. OK, yeah, they got right the fucking. Talk about a key party, huh? Give me a couple of shots of Nyquil put the ear buffs on me for no reason do you come out of this basement yeah that would be that would be strange that's asleep that that's fucking swinging yeah I remember the first time my parents had their significant others stay I was like the

first when your parents had the significant others stay. I was like the first. When your parents had the significant others. Well, my parents got divorced and then the people that later became my step mom and my stepdad, there had to be a you have to you have to act like that. The way it went to was it was the next person they dated, who they married. I mean, as far as I know, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple of late bingos on Friday night. As far as I know yeah Yeah, yeah

Couple of late bingos on Friday night I don't know that's you cuz that's a weird time because like they don't tell you and then like I always see each one half You know what I mean sure um I Wish I know I assume my dad was out riding fences Back in the game, baby. Coming out of retirement. If I, I mean. I want to dry clean clothes. Go to waste. Fucking pack of chicklets and a little cash on them.

Real sharp. That was his word. That was a hot scene back then too. Down there outside of Philly. Go to the Michaels on street road. They call it the Wrinkle Ranch. Late 90s, early 2000s. No, this was early 90s. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they were divorced in 90. Even better. So, this is early mid 90s. I

was. All those guys all had a little cash. They moved out to the suburbs. There was a couple of spots where everybody went. Yeah. We go to, we, we go to Giro's and I always found it All those guys all had a little cash. They moved out to the suburbs. There was a couple of spots where everybody went. Yeah, we go. We go to gearos. And I always found it weird that everybody knew him when we walked in. Hey, Dan, I have a Michelob waiting for him. Shout out the gearos down there. I think it was in the northeast on Academy or something.

And then one night. Did you not realize your father went to bars? I know most of our most of my childhood was in bars, but it was weird to be like, oh, you go to bars without us. You know what I mean? Cause we were going so much. I'm like, you're fucked up with that. You know, I love the chicken dendies here.

Man. Talk about a cock block. Me, you would go there for dinner. Where? To wherever this place was. No, we would go out for, I mean like, yeah, we would just go for drinks. And damn, I mean, we were at bars a lot.

You weren't sitting at the bar. Yeah. Hold on. It would be pitched to you, hey, we're going to dinner at whatever it was, Giro's. Yeah? That's what he would say? But you would walk in and sit at the bar?

I don't really remember. We were, I think it was pitching me, it's know you would walk in and sit at the bar I don't really remember we are as I said I think it was bitching me is like you want to stop here and get something to eat and he was gonna have a you know The two treatment close You know you do an happy hour. Oh, yeah, I loved it if he got off work I would stop here for a beer for a soda. Oh, yeah, and I got fucking all unlimited unlimited Cokes out of the gun and fucking chicken tendies Uh-huh, if they had them if they had a mission, I buddy Kevin. He's in the Navy

No, we'd also meet up with like other Family not family other you know we're meeting up to other his drinking buddies Yeah, or like family like the family from I'm eating out with mr. Foley you know okay or if I you know fucking Frank's gonna meet us there meeting Frank here okay yeah cool Frank's kids coming sometimes it came sometimes they did depends if he had custody or not what weekend visitation rights yeah no and a lot of times too, it was after like, it was mostly my brother, cause I was younger,

so it was mostly my brother who was on like a competitive soccer team in the area. And then those dads would all, we'd all go out. Okay, all right, that's all right. Yeah, but I mean there was. I mean, you and your, you wingmanning with your dad. Not wingmanning, but we'd stop for a pop. Order to go, beer.

Hey, see that blonde over there? Go over there and do the stutter thing. Excuse me. Sure, yeah. Then if Joe was watching me, like if my mom was working, like I said, I told you the story. Yeah, I was just drinking. If Joe was watching, we'd go down to the,

at the time it was called the watering hole, so we'd go down to the at the time it was called the watering hole so we go down at a watering hole and Which is a great name for a bar the watering holes all right and to use to steal his line I were going down to the street to dust off a bit. There you go. Just me and him. What your whistle? Yeah, he'd be drinking I'd be there. So the first time he stayed they had been waiting Yeah, they got a they got to introduce you as like, oh, hey, my friends coming and they they would they told them they told Danny and Sarah before me obviously. To see how it went over, you know, they were they were the

market care about what your dad was doing, right? I didn't care what my mom was doing. Sure. I was a libertarian at a young age. You live your life as long as this dude's got flicking. I didn't like him. You go, girl. I didn't like him because those two didn't like them. Sure. Like off the jump, I'm like, I don't even fucking remember these two ever being together. And the times I did, it wasn't that great.

So I don't know what everybody's all fucking up in arms about. These two are meant to be. It's over. She pitched him as her friend. I think I remember Danny going, you know that's mom's new boyfriend. And then he was like, we don't like him. I said, buddy, we ride together, we die together. Let's fuck bad boys for life.

Let's fuck this dude's life up. Go get the steak knives. Yeah. Start ripping off windshield wipers. The first big one I remember, he came over on Christmas. Had he already slept over? I think he slept over that night. And they spun it as he came over.

And I think I remember my sister being like, you mean to think we, you want me to believe he came over at 4 a.m. or whatever? To drop off Christmas presents? Yeah, I think that's how it was spun. It's just like some cough drops and chains, whatever he had in his pocket I think he used to sleep on the couch. Maybe one or two like there's like the insured that guy

He's gonna stay here. He's up on the couch cranking heaters. He used to crank heaters on the couch Some guy wearing jeans He was in there no sure he would say only shirt and jacket we used to call him Joey jackets He never took his jacket off, so he'd be in his jacket Lay in there like wait sometimes that his boots on to the sleeping. No just lying like watching TV or whatever No, just lying like watching TV or whatever I was lying about think I told you that he was like a bag I was we were I was trying to bet him if he could Not ash the holes if he could smoke if he could smoke his seat on his back and not have to add fun with your step

Also, they're crazy smoking in this woman's house shoot some squirrels with a BB gun in the backyard Oh, yeah, we did that with a paintball gun. Fucking lit them pussies up. He stayed on the couch. I think it's like the first entrance into like the family, if I remember correctly. The guy, he's not, you know, I didn't give a fuck. I didn't know.

You know they did their business and then he went out to the couch. That's my, yeah, of course. Young lady, what do you mean? Sure. He's younger than me, that's crazy. He's younger than you? She was younger than me when all this was happening. Sure.

Dude, she was like 32. Yeah. Wait, hold on, I can do this math. Let me see here, would be... She's what, 63? I don't know how old she is Early 60s I would assume. Yeah, she was in her 30s. She was in earth. She was in her mid 30s Maybe young woman. Yeah, maybe remember you in your 30s Chasing skirts around

Not a nickel in your pocket. I'm in my 30s. What are you talking about younger 30s? Um? You're an old man now. I was a committed relationship my whole 30s. I met my broad at 28 you did yeah 28 we spent my 29th birthday together Where she came to New York? That's when I introduced her to my family made her sleep on a couch Uh-huh That's when I introduced her to my family made her sleep on a couch My parents didn't go for that shit what unless when I was 30 when cousin doesn't matter

30 when cousin stayed over if they brought their girl mm-hmm, and they weren't engaged uh-uh One that asleep in my room where my cousin Joe being a real pissed about that. I think he was looking for a little action He's in there with me, trying to go to sleep. I'm asking him a million questions. What are the boobs taste like? What are stars made of? Shut up. He's got a fucking heart on.

He's trying to talk down. He's fucking blue balled, and you're sitting there. Where does milk come from? Jesus Christ kid. What's with you and the God named sandwiches? Yeah, no. That had to be weird though. I don't really, it wasn't to me. I didn't date my brothers, sister, do a life of them together.

I never knew that I've said this. My only room, my only memory of them actually being together is them sitting me down and tell me they got They're getting a divorce. That's the only thing I remember of them together at a blue Fisher price table Why that was where I held my meetings? Yeah back to this tea party Buddy you guys gonna wrap this up. I got an 1115. I gotta get ready for it. I got he-man coming in in 20 minutes. Price is right, he's about to start. Gotta go over the numbers.

Skeletor's really busted our balls. Now what can I do for you? You put them in little smaller chairs? See the power move? Sure, I had a buddy's dad did that. You used to have to sit on like a log and he's in some big fucking mahogany throne. You have to ask for like a raise in your allowance or whatever. I can't. That's all right. Gang, let us tell you about ShipStation.

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I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what, just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats?

Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Er, nope. You're on your own there. Coulda skipped it? Shoulda skipped it.

Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals, and more delivered right to your door on skip. Uh, alright, let's see. This is from A.A. Ron Iran $10 bozo here. Never have one read is it garbage to have the amount of money someone owes you saved on your phone as their contact name? There's been a lot of times where it's been like kippy 225. That's a businessman. I've been in the phone before. Oh, I'm yeah, no for multiple people. I've been in the phone. Uh-huh that way they remember it every time when I call

Yeah, so then you stop calling. He's we have a we're not friends no more That's what a year in my phone is Gary don't pick up Yeah, my one buddy did that God love me never never broke my balls about it, but He told me that one time. He's like Yeah, my one buddy did that. God love me. Never broke my balls about it. But he told me that one time. He's like, he's like, he's like, you know, I have to I have what you owe me saved in my phone. I was like, good talking to you. Frank Goller. Yeah, for a long time, I was I was always fluctuate. My roommate at the time was a good pal of mine. Great guy. When I moved to New York York and he would give me, you know,

bridge loans from time to time. Sure. To get me through to the next payday. Sure. And I would very rarely ever get it back down to zero. It would get to like 225, 275. I'd whack, I'd give him a hundred or 80 or something. You know I'm good for it.

Whack that down to 135 and then a week later, but let me get 50, let me hold 40. Paying out like an Amex bill Yeah, a little more than a principal a little more than the interest. Yeah, that's a that's a pro My buddy used to sell weed always had that was the first time I saw that in high school It'd be like you'd be in there at market 320 or whatever. I was just front and everybody fucking zips I was always surprised at that. That's different because then they were turned around and selling it But like when you were just buying that's how I got into trouble. I was always surprised that that that's different because then they were turned around and selling it. But like when you were just buying, that's how I got into trouble.

I would get high on your own supply. No, no, I would get I would get in trouble. I would build a good relationship with whoever I was conducting business with. Sure. And at a certain point, I'd say, I you know, here's the thing. I don't got it. Can you know whatever? And then it would it would just all of a sudden get out of control. Sure. I don't know why they did that. My boy Pat's always said it's like paying for weed. You already smoked is the worst feeling in the world.

If you get like a fluid in college, you get like, you know, I'm going to pick up. I don't have any cat going to pick up two grams. And you got to, you know, fucking three days later, you got to pay for you. Don't even you don't even get the high no more. Sure. It sucks. Not a Seinfeld joke.

You should have to pay for dinner before you eat. Probably. I think it is. It's very Seinfeldian. Yeah. All right, let's see. This is from LDawg10dollarguy here. Never asked one.

Is it garbage to have your grandmother's address on all your car paperwork, so when you're late on payments, the repo man goes to her house. That's a fucking pro move, dude. That's great I've Genuinely, I've never thought of that. I've never heard of that. I respect I never got to do any of that all my grandparents were dead by the time I got to dirt even better plot number eight nine four six four good luck coppers you're chasing a ghost um

Never had anything like that where I could put something in like it like a like a grandparents name like that. I had amex I was ducking them for a while. Or was that address? It was my proper address, but I was just still ducking them. And I go to my 400 bucks or so I just didn't have like only 400 bucks and they called my sister or their phone They called my sister-in-law's mom. Oh, you told me that yeah fucking I said, whoa, okay It's cleaning this up. It's getting messy. I got my brother calling me go do your embarrassing me Fucking I told him we were in a steam family

Now the debt collectors are calling I'm looking for you all over a fucking couple That's a wild move man. Your brother your sister-in-law's mom I don't even know that fat little bastard. I seen him once I see him at gearos came in and all my hoagie dip Clogged up the toilet left Yeah, I always wanted to be involved in something like that Like we're like you know like my parents put something in my name or something. I've been down that road and it ruins family. No good.

No, ends... Don't call it my name, Patty. It's fine. It ends poorly. Sure. Especially when you ain't got it. That's what I said. Family businesses are always... There's one point when family businesses work well and it's when things are going pretty good. That's when it's the best.

When there's not a lot of money to fight over, bills are paid, everyone's kind of paid, you're scrolling some money away for the future because most of the, you know, it's just, it comes in a good, it fluctuates, you know what I mean? Sure. So, and then when there's a lot of money, that's when people when there's no money and a lot of money, that's when it gets fucking real sticky hairy. Yeah, we were on the lower end of that.

There was a new money. Nothing to fight over. No, that's when you fought. There is no fucking tensions are high and the phones are ringing. So the repo may have a go to his grandparents looking for the car and the car wouldn't be there. Can you do that? Can you register a card and address you don't live in? I'm sure you can. Yeah, I don't think they're checking it that much. They just put that down as your that's not bad. I guess. I mean, it makes sense. I have my old my old my license

has my old address on it. I don't think addresses are like that really take a word It's like a fucking you know connects the stuff and I don't mind that what that it's connected to that address. I Don't even know what's on. I guess my Temple dorm room Johnson and Arwick room nine fifty three eight now Probably catch him at the cafeteria around 4 though. When they put up the chicken sammies. Yeah, I was a fourth meal guy. Whoo! Weee!

I say it all the time. That cafeteria at Widener University was top shelf. It was like any town in the USA. It was just small enough. Homestyle cooking. No Pizza Hut. None of that bullshit bullshit straight up cafeteria food It's great

respect what they put in them eggs ah This one's from propane like the gas never have one red Are you garbage if you wait for your wife to fall asleep on road trips to sneak a heater PS? She wakes up every time That's great, dude. If you're trying to sneak a heater, you roll down the window, you hit the brake a little too hard. They wake up, dude. They bitch about it too. Once that window comes down.

He done. Yeah, that's fucking that's nuts. She heavy sleeper. Did you dozer? I mean Eve just do so many things are changing in that car ride a heater in the car when you're not smoking a heater there's no hiding it there's no hiding if you smoked the heater in the car and then went into a building they know in the

building you smoked the heater sure has always got me caught on fucking Thanksgiving and Christmas you fucking so I'd be somewhere I'd smoke a heater on the ride over from the first party to the second party go in a rica deacon Maybe a fresh spray a fucking polo sport that I just copped right away You smoking again that fall cold on you and Patty would fucking a hawk me. It's smoking again All right, this one's from cam is it garbage to buy a vacation using the buy now pay later monthly option because you're jammed up but you face throw how much you spent to your wife. So that's like I just spent five grand to get us to fucking, to Casa Mellor whatever. Meanwhile you only put 125 down.

I fucking. That's, they bang you out for more on that, right? Yeah, it's like a loan. You're, you're, you know, it's at like, I don't know. See what, what's, what, what, what is that loot to pay now? Klarna? Affirm or Klarna? Affirm yeah. See what the average rate on Klarna or Affirm are because I should start doing that. They do that for everything. Make your money work for you. They do that for everything. Every time you they do it like we've had this that show that that question's been asked at live

shows is it garbage if I use the monthly payment that my ticket so like every checkout is doing that it's a moving scale it can start anywhere from 0 to 36 36% credit score payment history all that stuff they take into account damn that ends up costing like they got you do 36 credit score you know it's bad we think I'm doing the payments for see what the average payday loan is if you can find like a payday loan. I remember one, it was like a fucking up to 870. It was like one of those, yeah, like Native American reservations or whatever,

where like they have their own banking law. I remember reading the fine print. It was like, it could be up to 800% or something like that. Talk about how bad do you need to go to the shore, dude. Average is 15 to 20%., but that's not bad. Yeah That's pretty good. I just had just rented a car where for The end of the year, uh-huh, and it was 12 while you're being vague about this I know but who refers to it as the end of the year

the end of days You know as the end of the year? the end of days You know for the end of the year 1200 if you pay now 17 if you pay later what yeah No shit. Yeah, that shit's getting wonky. I'm paying later Really 17 for five hunge more 17 easy installments damn 76% I paid it up compounded daily they bang out when you get there anyway so we had to wonder for this door for that I'm seeing a payday loan trap where they sometimes the rates get over 600% so what, I see that. So what does that mean? So a pay. So you.

But you get your check. A payday loan is like they I don't know. Figure out exactly. I remember the only thing my only real experience with payday loans was when I worked at that scam call center, those guys were scamming payday loan places because the one guy goes, you want to you want to make eleven hundred bucks this week. And I was like, how?

And he was like, give me your. You had to give like your name. Or your social, and he was like, mix matching. But the risk was like, you got to give up some of your personal information so they can clarify it. And I'll give half of mine. And I was like, dude, I don't fucking... I'm not getting in... I'm not fucking... We're not being Bonnie and Clyde in this thing. Getting into bed with you. I don't even know you.

This whole job's illegal. What do you got, Patukas? Depends on the state, really, because some states have protection, some don't. But the highest was from Ohio, they had six hundred and seventy seven percent Let me see if I can figure this out. So what is a payday? You get paid you get like you get paid every two weeks, so you don't got cash on you So you say I get paid on the 13th on the 13th I'll pay you back, but I thought like you give them the rights to your paycheck

I think that's the case because yeah a payday loan is a short-term high-cost loan That's typically due on your next payday, so you got two weeks But if it's 600% how the fuck can you pay it with one check you can't it's a trap. It's how to get you bastards damn See if you have to give your check to a payday loan like do you have to sign it over? Cuz some places do that. Like they have, you know, where like there's like apps

and stuff, which makes sense. Like if your car breaks down, you're like, oh, I need 500 bucks. It's like, you just put in like your paycheck and maybe like, I think I might like auto deduct out of that or something. It seems like a common limit is $500 for the payday loan. That's not bad.

If you had the weekend coming up, you want some cash? Maybe you go to the casino and you double that. The loan is usually repaid in a single payment on the borrower's next payday. Yeah. Or what if you don't got it? No. You don't. That's why you went to get the payday loan in the first place. They also got rights on any other income you get. See, that's the thing. I look back and wish that I would have never taken my check ever on a Friday. No. Wait until, I remember kids that would do that. No, I never get it.

I wait until Monday. Like, you fucking looser. I remember being somewhere. Had your score blow. No cash. Yeah, people just don't have the spending tendencies that we have. We were chasing the dragon. We were looking for action come Friday. I worked all week.

I got to blow off a little steam. Dude, every fucking Friday I would blow everything that I had. I've said this before. If I could learn how to live, I would spend all my money Friday to Monday and then have to live the rest of that week poor. But you get used to it. I would spend all my money Friday to Monday and then have to live that the rest of that week Poor but you just do it I know but I go if I was going if I could just pick up my check then live poor all week Like I know I can I'd hide still have my money. I can have double the fun next weekend

Let it ride doesn't work like that. I know I just don't have I'm getting better, but I don't have good spent It's just it's never been instilled in me. Like everybody was like fluctuate of like, oh, we had like a family business. I was like, oh, they're good. Three months and then a bad six months, a good six months, a bad three months. I was like, it's not the kind of guy you are, pal. No, it's just not in me. Desperation is the is the inception of necessity.

Whoa. It's pretty good. That up. Yeah. They didn't. Yes, I did. They didn't. It's pretty good. Did you speak that up? Yeah. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Uh-uh. That's a Dilbert everybody knows.

I read that in Calvin and Hobbes last week. It's a Ziggy. Who's the other guy? Who's the guy that hated his wife? It was a Deoist sat in a chair. Is it me? Who busted his wife's balls all the time. I don't know.

Those were the comics were the stupidest things to me. People would be like, I read the funny. I go, first of all, none of this is funny. Have you seen Seinfeld? Every once in a while, you catch a good one. No. I never understand. Memes are better.

I never understood like Family Circle. I don't know what. We never read. My family, was your family reading them? What? My dad, but yeah, my parents both read the newspaper. Yeah, but were they reading the comics? No.

Yeah. No. Maybe. Just use them for, to do something with your silly buddy. I remember you used to read the personal ads. Get me all fucking, all juiced up. In a regular newspaper? Or in a certain, there was like a local, like maybe in a Bucks County Carrier Times or something like that.

Whoa. And I would read them. And I remember being like- You little horn dog. I remember my dad trying to explain it to me. I'd be like, Deez, this woman are just posting, like, for anybody? Like, they're okay with anything? I just didn't get it. Some of these whores. Yeah. They must not be Catholics. You know what I mean would they be spicy No, but just like 53 or what I'm making I don't know why I'm going old It was pretty funny been watching the Golden Bachelor with the wife

Okay, and it's the older woman and then the or the older Bachelorette. I guess it would be the Golden Bachelorette, so they're all 60s 70s So it's all just dads in the house You know how it's like normally like young hot jack guys like drinking and fucking all getting caddy these dudes are all just boys They're like fixing the garbage disposal and shit. It's like dude. It's the most kept house No, they're helping each other with laundry and shit. They're taking huge dumps It's like during the Navy dude. It's like one for all all for one. They're all like they're all gentlemen They live by a code. It's fucking great like you're taking too much time with her man. We all need a shot

Oh, you're right. I'm sorry sir. It's fucking all right It's just a house full with that they're all hugging and crying each other. It's fucking alright. So wholesome. Very wholesome You reading personal ads is great. I just wait I I used to read Miss Connections too on Craigslist. Uh-huh looking for you. I Pied Poole eating a slice of Sicilian With your button-down shirt open. I was looking for love Maybe yeah, I mean obviously you're looking for not you but like it was interesting they became like very you do You know Miss connections. Yeah, like just of as the bit. Yeah, yeah would go

That was probably that might as well been Sanskrit. I know right fucking cave drawings But there was a time of the internet when that hit I was probably in college or whatever Where that was like kind of cool like a lot of people would do it like I saw you I was at the fucking You know Fishtown Tavern or whatever was like cooler people do is like the kind of the forefront of the internet or you know That version of the internet or whatever I was on there looking for me Fuck that guy doing okay at the Raven left a little creep 53 I don't know I just made that up That's what you like. I was just crazy to me. I mean it makes sense now as I'm older, but as a young boy

I'd be like You're just like it's like a job interview. I just isn't saying that you're just like soliciting. You're putting it out there. I respect that. A lot of times they're spies. What? That's how spies communicate through personal ads.

Not anymore. Chuddy did it back then. I'll give you that maybe. Like a handful of times too. Is that documented or yours just was like from the bridge of spies or whatever. Oh, was that in a bridge of spies? I don't know see if that seems there's any it's like cop like that happened like over 50% of the time a lot a lot a lot of code words horny

Horny means we're making a move Tuesday Local fat man charged up in horny ready to go bridge of spies is an underrated hit great movie who's that with Tom Hanks oh yeah that's a good one I remember the first I didn't know what that was I put that on hooks you in he dressed sharp in that too. Uh-huh wearing that long coat Man, imagine if it was still like that you were going over to Germany going to East Germany. I've been there Yikes, that's all broken up now. I've been to the east side of Germany. It's nice, right? Yeah, beautiful country man That shit looked I've been a checkpoint Charlie too. Yeah, uh-huh Man, that shit looked brutal. I've been to Checkpoint Charlie, too.

Yeah? Uh-huh, didn't get in. I have my easy pants, it doesn't get burned. I'm TSA Pre-Check. I have to stand with all these plebs. Two German shepherds growling at you. What's the dog's name? You guys like borscht?

All right, let's see here this is from Cody you ever take your morning medication with a sip of you who that's fucking nuts dude how where are you that you just have you who readily available what kind of life are you living every once in a great while you grab a six or an act from the grocery store ever and throw it in there That's never when you were a kid. You didn't get any you who oh my we had it in juice box form when when things were going Well, my stepmom would buy it in the juice box form. We would do the bottles my dad liked the bottles No, I never had bottle. He had a reason for it though though, because when he was a little kid, a tractor trailer full of you who fell over and they went all over the street

and all the kids came to get them. This is not true. Yeah. And the cops wouldn't let them have it because they said there could be bits of glass in there. And so they took it away. So we always had a thing for you who it's like the world's worst villains origin story Didn't let me have my I love a you a couple of dogs at mustard and sauerkraut and a you who yeah

No sauerkraut and you who is a wild combination. You know who got me hooked on that Joe Pesci From where you hanging out with him From where you're hanging out with him. Back at the Starlight Lamps. It was me, him and Frankie Valli. Oh wait, hold on. By the way. The Frankie Valli memes? Did you see the videos? Dude, they're great.

Have you seen them? Oh my god. Frankie Valli is about 500 years old and they still make them do shows? Listen, if I'm ever that old and we're still doing the show put me to bed, dude That's fucking insane He's not singing right what I mean it sounds like it good now, dude. That's all

Backup singer he don't know where he is now the backup singers are really into it They're doing it They should slow it down to make it look like they're all kind of moving together because he's fucking I mean god bless him He may guy god damn it maker, but he's out the fucking lunch Can that sell the money that's elder abuse shit? No, he had fucking somebody's propping them up wasn't he part of Jersey boys? Yeah That's what I'm saying. So he's I'm sure he's getting cash off that or they bought the rights to the life or something It's also a couple points on the back end. I'm sure he had to get some of that. It's his story. I know

That's fucking Broadway movies. They do that play everywhere. They're doing it in high school Overscaled high school they knock over a bank in the first streetcar named desire School they knock over a bank in the first streetcar named desire For the Christmas pageant so it said he looked like a Chuck E Cheese animatronic That head looks too big for the body it comes on and it's like we make the pressure and then the mic They don't care those old broads they just want to take a look at them They don't give a shit. They don't care those old broads. They just want to take a look at them They don't give a shit with their nobody's singing Taylor Swift singing Knocks out of the park sure three hours doesn't matter up there boom

Fucking worker a lot of cash on that broad you think doing well Billy. She earns it now The movie easy money with Joe Pesci and Rodney Dangerfield one of my favorites When Rodney Dangerfield's working out to go to the park to run and Joe Pesci gets hot dogs from the hot dog vendor He says give me two with sauerkraut and a yu-hu That's all it took Just like hearing foods together. Yeah, and you're hooked. Yeah, I think we've gotten down to the root problem here I would that's my move do it sauerkraut. There you go. Love a chocolate milk with a hot dog You're eating foods together and you're hooked. I think we've gotten down to the root problem here.

Oh, that's my move, do it with sauerkraut. There you go. Love a chocolate milk with a hot dog. Yeah, I don't think I've ever thought about putting those together. I don't like mixing chocolate milk with anything. I'd like a nice chocolate, I mean pancakes. That's a different story to suburban diner.

Nah, nah, nah. Ah, that'd be my go-to. That's a given. Maybe a bagel on the side. Really? I was big into carbs back in the day. All right, we gotta wrap it up. This is neither here nor there. Maybe a bagel on his side? Really? I was big into carbs back in the day. Alright, we gotta wrap it up.

This is neither here nor there. Gang, we love you to death. What do we got? What do we got coming up here? The Philly show, AYG and Friends sold out. The New York show is on sale. The tickets are going quick. By the time this comes out, they might be gone.

That's November 8th. November 8th, Stanford, Connecticut. November 22nd, AYG and Friends, a New York Comedy Club in Stanford. Get your tickets for that. Everything's available. RUgarbage.com. We love you. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.