Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Luis J. Gomez Returns!

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

Kippy & Foley are joined by stand up comedian and podcast host Luis J. Gomez! Check out his new special "30 minutes with Luis Gomez" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! Come to a live show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Marine Layer: https://www.marinelayer.com/ Promo Code: Garbage15 Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Gang that State Trashy Tour is in full swing and we're coming to a city near you. Wrap it up to squad and come out and see the boys. I gotta keep this one in flat brits. Achi machi gang, it's a mix of stand-up and live AYG. We play with the crowd. You see the clips? It's a good time. Gather the crew and let's go shut up to the army of garbage. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of...

Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh yeah. So a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that after you're good to be classy. They're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash.

I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day where I'll back here at Toodies in the new edition, living high on the hog. She just stole a bunch of meat from the grocery store. Okay. So we're gonna be eating good for the next couple of weeks, gang. Right. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me

on Amuse this week. What are you gonna do? But he's the CEO of Are You garbage? He's an international business man And even though it was laughing my toe these you know my best pal in the whole wide world Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan what up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always for you to make sure your rate You subscribe and I to this whole video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are true to rev cooking gang Then obviously the greatest website all-time WWW that patreon.com gang check it out to god damn party over there Yeah, we love you gang and have a nice quick shout out to our producer

Extraordinary the old magic man. He likes grinding rails and humping legs give it up for the bone Mcscruffins It's Toby McMullen everybody what a boys What up? We got the most Jack dude in comedy. Yeah, man Hasn't touched a real ass hasn't touched a grain of sugar in months, looking straight sucked out in yoke. Look, fucking. That was amazing. Looks real good. Ryan boys, I really appreciate it. He's scarier than usual. Is that as a garbage or is that classy to be in shape? You look more Puerto Rican. That is a very interesting thought. What is it more trashy to be in shape because I feel like I am like prison,

I'm like a prisoner. It depends how you get in shape. I guess it's your race. If you're white and you get in shape, it's classy. If you're brown and you get in shape, it's trashy. No, I think you look classier. You got a nice color, you got a nice tan, you're fucking tightened up.

You look fantastic. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good. It's been a good summer, Douglas. Everything looks clean. Gang, we couldn't be more excited that were incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today We absolutely love him. You know him. You love him He's got a brand new special light right now in his YouTube page 30 minutes at Lewis J Gomez give it up for the real last dude Lewis J There he is very a fight and shape El J. G. In the building.

Yeah. Thank you, boys. Thanks for having me back. I appreciate it. Love all your garbage. Love you guys. You guys are turncotes, your traders. You have no spines.

But we're still friends. If that is not a testament to how fucking good a guy you are, the fact that you guys really, you're really hung me out to dry, embarrass me, in front of my family, my friends, my co-workers. And really, you know, just, I don't harbor any resentment. I don't think about it every time your name comes out. I can tell you are a little salty when you walked in,

when you were looking around to these. It wasn't, oh man, it was just, all right. Yeah, I wish your producer would hang himself with one of these wires. It's fucking Christ, dude. But this is what the producers do. So you guys know this fuck face, I'm telling you right now, it's all smoke mirrors.

Half of these wires aren't connected to anything. Sure, yeah. He wants you guys to know that he's needed. So I need them to, there's 17 cameras here. Most people do this with an iPhone. Sure. Okay, we all know what you're doing over there. It's making themselves seem important.

Yeah, working hard, baby. This is what you're doing over there. It's making themselves seem important. Yeah, we're working hard, baby This is what we figured out years ago that podcasting. It's like oh you need a camera or two you need a couple microphones It's all you need and we kind of laughed a few years ago, but you'd go into like You ever do like those Fox News shows like red eye I haven't but yeah, but you go in and you go in and it kind of looks like this You're like we don't need all this sure here. We are again boys. Well wait till the drones come in 20 minute mark He says we need them. I've never seen him use the shots I caught him on garage band yesterday. I don't know what he's doing. I don't know what any of this shit does buddy Congrats on the special. Yeah, thank you

Congrats to gas digital you're producing a bunch of fucking specials. You got them cooking. Yeah, I'm on bomb. It was six of us that did them. We did six half hour specials over the course of three nights. It was Dave Smith first. Kurt Metzger just came out last week. Minds out today, officially. And then next week is Colin Turrell. Jordan Jensen and then Rich Voss. They're all incredible comedians. Very different, very different perspectives. Just kind of like, it was really a great group and I'm happy how they came out. They were fucking great. It's awesome. And I've always said this of you while, you know, you ruffle some feathers from time to time

with a lot of people. You have done more for New York comedians and or comedy as a whole, then fucking anybody. Stop it. It's, I have a pool now. It's all for me. There's nothing. It is nothing to do with any videos. So do have a pull. I know I have goals in mind and very often some of those goals, the peripheral benefit is

that I get to work with some of the best comedians in the world. Great, amazing projects with really cool. So that's, but it is self-serving. I'm not fucking out here doing shit for anybody. I'm trying to fucking pull a little money in the bank, put some cash for my fucking son to, I get hit by a bus, he's got some memories with his pops, he gets a little bit of cash, that's it, man.

I've always said this, you are a fantastic father. I appreciate that, right? You do a lot, you do a lot for him, it's amazing. You're still retin' though, right? Still retin' what's going on in the buy-a-place? I'm looking at a buy-a-place. I am business man. This is it, I'm looking for a buy-a-place. You're a business man. This is it.

I'm buying a place. You are. So it was this timing thing, right? Me and my chick, she just moved to the East Coast. She's touring a lot. It was a weird time as she was moving here to buy a place. She was looking to buy, I was looking to rent. My real estate agent hit me up with the fucking best house.

I fucking, I just such, my house that I live in right now is awesome and I'm renting it right but it's got a heated saltwater pool It's amazing kitchen like fucking marble you know marble white kitchen like it's a really beautiful home Your first move was was that out there out to Jersey running a house You did a lot to it you put in the gym you put all that stuff. Yeah, yeah People say that like doodie run of it. I'm fucking bud gym equipment. put all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, I mean, people say that, they're like, oh, dude, you run, I'm fucking bought gym equipment. I have that gym equipment, so it's, I knocked out a couple of walls.

What's the big deal? So I've been kind of bouncing around in different places, and each place I move into, I realize what I don't like about it, I realize what I want, and now I've officially said, I'm never renting again. This is up next summer. Nice. It's a fucking great house, I really love it, and also now I know what I want. And now I've officially said, I'm never renting again. This is up next summer. Nice. It's a fucking great house. I really love it. And also now I know what I want. Now I know I need a

pool. I need a pool. I got you. I'm living your fucking life. Yeah. Honestly, I didn't know. I didn't think I'd ever give a shit about having a pool. But now that my son, the fucking joy that him and his friends have. Sure. Every time they get in that fucking pool, and it's just great, dude. I, you know, so Hey, and this guy's that place is that place Gomez Central like does the family come over to the Lewis's. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. My sister's not a nicer house than that in a Gomez. No, I don't know the rest of them, but I'm going out on a limb saying that's the crenda look. They're halfway house. My sister. So here's the thing I I fucking, it's got a keypad entrance.

And my sister just breaks in all the time and steals one my weed. So I'm trying to figure out how to or old ways. I'm trying, yeah, I'm trying to fucking figure out how to change a keypad. I can't figure out, that's garbage. I can't figure out how to change a keypad thing. I have one in a house, I just got it

and I can't figure out how to change it either. And they're close by, right? The whole family. The whole family is with my son's mother live five minutes away, my sister lives five minutes away. Look, we're all right in the area family whole families of my son's mother live five minutes away my sister lives five minutes away Look all we're all right in the area look at you. It's wonderful I love you say the pool saltwater. Did I hear saltwater heated? Oh Jacuzzi

When you get the house? Probably do you want to build or do you want to you're gonna buy something? I'm just gonna buy something I actually have my eyes on a house right in the neighborhood already I got I'm looking this guy's's a fucking mover and shaker. I'm ready. It looked people, you know, people give me shit for renting. Like, dude, what are your rents still? It's like, you gotta know what you want, dude.

If I would have bought a house three years ago, like I initially intended to, I would be sucking a house that I hate. Just simple as that. No, it's good thinking. Yeah, it's good thinking. Now I know what I want. I know fucking what I'm looking for, the type of backyard that I want. Like, even now this house that I have now, I love it, but I'm like, yeah, you know what?

It needs more privacy in the backyard. Master bathroom needs to be a little bit bigger. And if I would have walked into this house, they would have sold me day one. If it was for sale, 100%. So you know, I'm fucking dude, I've been in New York City for 20 years and just use a little tiny apartments and then just, you know, I'm not a suburban guy, dude. I don't fucking know shit about the- You are though now.

Now I am. You're paid for three or four years. You take to it very well. But I don't because I'm going broke because I'm just paying people to do the things that normal suburban guys do. Sure. So I have a landscaper and a cleaning lady

and a fucking guy who comes in and cleans the pool every week. I don't do any of that shit, dude. I have nothing. Can you guys hire me? Please, it's so expensive. What do you know about wires? It's fucking a wild dog. I'll wrangle these wires.

Do that thing on the arm, man. But that thing. Man, I was so impressed by a construction worker that could do that with an extension goal. Yeah, it is. Like real nice and then they connect it. My mind would be blown. I met in your good suburban guy in the sense.

I remember when you were at the old house. I think this was last year Halloween I mean you had like you were like Tim the tool man Taylor yet the whole place Yeah, you go all out with that stuff pretty good at producing events I'm gonna fight Bobby Kelly in my back here. I had fucking Harrington and Alex and they all came in and they were dressing up as characters. They had costume changes like the Wolfman would shop and scare the kids and he'd have to run behind the house and change.

We, yeah, it, it, it, it, do it nice. And I treated it like an event. So when you go to Skankfest, every, you know, now this year there there's seven different performance areas. There's, there's, we added a whole other massive stage this year. It's gonna be fucking huge. Um, but in the Halloween party, up stairs is one event going on. The backyard, there's another event going on in the basement. There's a spooky story time. We do all these different things in different areas. And it's scheduled like that. I do what I'm telling right now. It's a little bit. You got me back in Christine running around.

That sets on Halloween festival. It really is. I love it. Yeah, I'm proud. And you are venturing into the kid does a lot of sports. Yeah, he does baseball, he does judo too. And we just saw him kick some ass in a tournament. He was fucking kids up.

Yeah, I do. It wasn't even close. Yeah, no, he fucking, he, well, the video you saw, I ran that through gas digital production. Yeah, the little't even close. Yeah, no, he fucking he, well, the video you saw, I ran that through gas digital production. Yeah, the little green screen action. He wasn't even there. Now, he did great. He ended up winning gold in the, the G,

so they do the G and they do no. He ended up losing the no G. What's no G? It's like shorts and like, you know, because my understanding, the holding the g is a big tool. Yes. Like you grab it. Gotcha.

So the g you could hold the lapel, you could hold the sleeves. And any part of the g you can grab onto, you could twist. So there's a lot more control of their body. With no g it's literally just hooking and pushing. And so it's just a different style of grappling. So we got creamed in the no-ge,

but he won gold in the gui. It's awesome. Sick. And he's into it. And he really likes it. And it's like, look, dude, I swalk around school and go and put a jacket on. I can't put this blazer on. Go get your dad's room.

Meet me in the parking lot. Yeah, dude. I mean, well, that because look, it depends. If you're dealing with a person in a jacket, if you have gig grappling, you can fucking sure. If you're wearing a fucking collared in a jacket, if you have gig rappelling, you can fucking sure. Doug, if you're wearing a fucking collared shirt, I will choke you unconscious with your own shirt in four seconds. You're going to be able to up at weddings.

You're not going to know what's happening, doggy. Any blue collar type event that's happening, it's fucking going to happen. But yeah, like, no, he was not like an aggressive kid at all. He's like a sweet kid. He doesn't like dog like you. Yeah. You see it in his eyes. He's like a sweet kid. He doesn't like. Do you see it in his eyes? He's a very nice. Not mean at all.

And he was going to do a tournament. And we're like, you know, I am back in the back of my mind. I'm going like, he's probably going to fucking get his ass. Is this his first? This was his first tournament. He's been doing Jiu Jitsu for about three years. Well, you guys go to like a workout place and and we go to a place called performance Jiu Jitsu

in Farrell, New Jersey, which is a great little Gracie lineage Jitsu Academy. And I was going there for a while before I had my knee issues, but he goes there and he's just a really sweet kid. He's not like aggressive. He's not like a mean kid at all. So in class very often, he's just, you know, like dominating kids in class.

He's just sort of like goes to the motions. He's drilling, he has fun, there's friends. And you know, we worked on so many little things. It was what was really rewarding was, well, boring people with details about your Jetsu, like he had issues with getting caught in people's guard, and we really worked on side control. We really worked on creating pressure and having heavy hips.

We really worked on him being more aggressive and acting first in the takedowns. We worked on his triangle defense where he was getting caught in triangles over and over again. And all of these. That's a good dad right there man. You're putting time in. And yeah, me person, we have math sound in the basement and obviously we put so much into it watching videos on YouTube and to go and watch him do the tournament and to apply those

things in real time and good moments. I saved the triangle twice. Yeah, and I didn't get caught in people's guards. He was passing. He was going gaining points by passing side control. Mount, it was so cool to watch. And it was so amazing to, because it could have went the other way, dude, if you guys asked, it could have been a moment where he goes,

ah, the work doesn't matter. Sure. Putting in that effort doesn't matter. Addressing those holes in my game doesn't matter, right? Like maybe I'll just, you know, maybe I, maybe this isn't for me. But now he sees it. But not even necessarily that Jiu Jitsu's not for him, but maybe competing isn't for him.

Maybe setting a goal like that isn't for him. Yeah, it's a life lesson. It really is a life lesson. I'm glad that the kids that they put him against were fucking pussy's because if he would have went against the kid that he got in Noge, maybe he did. Dude, we'd have a different kid on our hands right now

It was sort of the luck of the draw was a different way class and like he ended up just getting put against kids And he had more control with the key was he was that's good He did such a good job and it was just a great sort of like moment There's these moments and like like like as a father for me It was literally my favorite moment as a dad But it was it was it was him being born was slightly below this one Gotcha dude my fucking jizz Went out and destroyed another man's jizz dominant two other men's jizz

Very romantic way to put down it Converse come did my come dominated that day Well, that's why I was asking you about this. Yeah. How were you at this? Well, you seemed to come cool and relax all the video. You're just kind of yelling out instructions, you know. But as he continues to play more sports, you're out there in the suburbs. Like I said, you're nice suburban guy, Lewis. What's this gonna be like?

You got anger on the baseball field and in tournaments. So number one, number one, yes, you heard me yelling instructions. That was deeply against the rules of the NJBJJF. I'm not allowed, but he hasn't told me. He has a coach that's in his corner that they can yell at instructions. I'm just like in the moment, like you didn't see it because I didn't post it,

but like the first minute of the match, the camera's like down here because I'm like, ah! So you are that dad. I'm losing my mind. And I'm yelling. But there's the problem, you are that dad. I'm losing my mind. And I'm yelling. But there's the problem, you're that dad that could fuck somebody up.

Not really, because now I'm at a Jiu-Jitsu tournament and all of these dads have been used to their weight. That makes sense. I'm a blue belt at Jiu-Jitsu. These guys are fucking badass as that I'm calling their kids weak and I'm fucking. Are you? I said at one point, James is dominating.

So I had to clearly had to let him know know I had to let him know that he was dominating I was like domination like a jerk and there's nothing to look up when I said it was a god boy. Yeah, I'm talking to you pussy Man if he switches over to soccer, you're gonna be a problem well No, so he played baseball actually have a video It went like semi-viral Well, no, so he played baseball actually have a video it went like semi viral Streaming dominating me getting arrested at halftime a million views or so on YouTube And it was there was another dad talking shit about the other kids like we were at his baseball and the other dad was just like

The kid the baby his kid was the pitcher And every kid that was going up he was was just doing the swing, but about about about, you know, like that type of thing. That's a pretty good bit. Heckling the kids. Yeah, that's crazy. And I was just like, dude, if my kid goes up there and he fucking heckles my kid,

and I took the video of it being like this guy, and then I cut to like just like a new story of a car plowing onto a little league field. We're like, kids and coaches scrambling everywhere. cut to like just like a new story of a car plowing onto a little league field. Be like kids and coach scrambling everywhere. But yeah, I mean, I'm like, yeah, dude, at a baseball field, I'll fight anybody. Sure. But it's a Jutsu tournament. I'm like, James, you know what?

This is martial arts. We need to have some respect. Take it down. Just kids that. And a baseball field. I would feel in the car. Let's fucking go. Let's the kid. Did the guy say anything

when James was up there? No, he was over it. I don't know if he's trying to be funnier what it was. Yeah. Yeah. I imagine just and then I remember one of the other dads or the other coach because they were coaching the two kids. The first kid that my son dominated.

Did they say anything to you after the tournament? Like, hey, you got to knock that gentle. No, they were cool. They were, it was, it was, they were pretty laid back about everything, you know, okay. But the other coach was coaching his guy and he said about James, he was like, he's slow. He called my son slow. And I was like, I was like, you haven't even heard him talk. He's, he's, he's, he's in a seventh grade level. No, no, no, no. No, yeah, but he said that and I'm like, I was like, all right, let me fucking chill, let me not.

And then James just truly just fucking smoked this guy. Really smoked him. And for him to get gold, I never had, there was never a moment where I got the trophy, won the game, like I just never, I just never excelled at any sports or really anything that you had to sort of set goals that and like it wasn't until I became Like a salesperson I got into sales

I sort of really given a fuck about money that I started to understand what setting goals was and how important it was But like that lesson was so you know so important for him at such a young age and to He's got a little fight. He's got a gold medal. I mean, it's like, and it's legit, it's fucking awesome, dude. That's sweet. Where's that medal? In my asshole right now. I keep it inside of me. Are you hanging them up at the house?

Yes, he's got a little plaque thing where it has his belt city goes through and then we hang it on that. That's awesome. That's awesome, man. It's the fucking best. Shout out to Lewis Jacob, man. Can you do it right?

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great schools, it's a really, really good school. This the first year that he's gonna really pick out his own clothes. Yeah, okay. He's going to middle school. This middle school. Let's see what you're saying. We're going to sixth.

Fifth. So they do middle school, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth grade in his school district. And yeah, I mean, we, sixth, seventh, eighth grade, and then his school district. And yeah, I mean, we'll go... Yeah, like honestly, this is what I told his mom, because he was very off of you. Where's like sweatpants and shit? Like the little kids wear.

I'm like, I was like, we can afford to like... They're stylish though. They're sweatshows. No, they're like, rustle. He needs to... I said, we can afford to buy him like, nice clothes. He's a good looking kid. He's a charming kid.

I was like, let's go and get him like nice clothes. His kid laid over here. I'm just saying, doggy. You don't want to go too nice. You don't want to look like a dickhead. You want to have just nice shit though. He should look a little crisp. He should, you know.

Name brand stuff. Yeah, exactly, you know. You see, in to any of that stuff at all, does he ever say, do I want these Jordans or I want this or I want that? Look, I got him a couple pair of Jordans And he really likes me like stressing nice. He's so little kid man. We just told him about Santa Claus just two nights ago Really we just told him about Santa Claus is crazy dropped on on September

Don't you we dropped it on him. I mean he was going to middle school. He just won a tournament He's dominated other men's come He's at a he's at a level where he needs to fucking learn about the world right now So we had a control. We had to tell him that Santa Claus. This was the summer of growth. You know, we just did another vacation or we'd our father's son trip every year. We took him to Costa Rica.

We, you know, we surfed. He had a jet ski by himself, which was extremely irresponsible on my end. Yeah. You should have been driving a jet ski and also believe Santa Claus is. Yeah, yeah, that was a wild circumstance. He'm gonna rock it fucking looking at chicks on the beach And he believes in Santa Claus is crazy Dude, so we knocked it out. We got him a tattoo. We got him a hugger. I thought about Santa Claus Get him his first bump

Tom how do you deal down here? Try to how do you use a Toyota? I'm how to use a fentanyl testing strip Here we go let him know about the Easter Bunny. How did he take Santa Claus? He took it pretty well. Did he know or no? He had no idea. He thought Santa was real.

Wow. This kid thought the fucking tooth fairy was real. We told him that Santa Claus, and then I was like, you also know about the tooth fairy then right? He goes, no. Told you he's slow, the kid, the guy knew. The guy fucking knew. I mean, what a sweet girl.. Double egg he believes in the fucking tooth fairy.

Put a dollar under his head. Does he have any baby teeth though? Is he done? He's got a couple of baby teeth. So, you're still gonna break him off? What do you mean? You're still gonna get cash. He actually lost a tooth in Costa Rica

and then he was like, I gotta, and then he lost a tooth, like he lost it, then lost it. So then he was like, oh, the tooth fairy, I wanna see if she come to Costa Rica and I was like, fuck, just a question. I'm trying, I can't. Shit.

I had a like, it was, it was, it was becoming too much. And the mean is mom for like months, we were like, you know, like who's gonna do it? How we gonna do it? And then finally I was, I was supposed to do it two nights ago. I was like, two days in and I'm doing it. And she hit me up on Monday. She was like, I'm just gonna do it, don't worry.

And she said I'm down. She was like, we gotta tell you something. Then he called me right away. He was like, wow, dad. You're like, she's lying. She's like, just hold you there while we're shooting. What? She's evil, don't listen to her.

I told you she's a liar, horn. No, but he took it really well. I'm sitting with him right now. What's she talking about? The story, we told them that, which is true. Santa Claus, it was based off a real person who was very generous and was like, we keep his spirit alive now. And this is a tradition that we have.

And you get to give the seer kids and know you're a little cousin, you get to share it with her. And then he got into that idea. But it is a moment where you're watching the magic disappear from your child. We're not religious, we don't believe in fucking, we don't teach him about religion.

Like he has a certain sense of spirituality because his mom's a woman and believes in crystals and horseshit like that. So he's like, he's like, I believe in a power in the sky and a fucking energy or some shit. Yeah, it's all bullshit. It's all horses. It's none of its real.

Magic doesn't exist. But it's the last thing that he really believed in where it was like, like everything else is reality now. You know, and like, you know, he doesn't believe superheroes are real. Like he believed, but he did believe Santa Claus. He wanted to see if like, that's's what that's what turns them like now It becomes like an absolute machine. Yeah, and the tournament all innocence is gone. Yeah, all innocence is gone I mean I hope so hope Santa Claus tattooed on his knuckles

Yeah, back to the clothes. Yeah, so shopping shop are you gonna hit any store specifically? Where's the first place you're going? It's gonna stay plaza mind. Okay. What's there? You go to like a macy's or do you go to like Locker nothing will go around the mall. We'll go to some different stores, you know like what are the kids like? I don't know. I'm a stylish so like what did I do what I went to like once I was in high school? Yours is probably way different than your size no my mom would give me like three to four hundred dollars. Whoa, that's fucking really good. That was like that, but that was it for like, you know, my clothes for the year. And then a couple hundred dollars on Christmas gifts. And that's what my mom like she did contribute there until I was maybe in like the 10th grade, then it then I started having to work for myself. Yeah. But I would go to like Arapa style.

She would give you cash and go by yourself. Once I was a little bit older. Because me and my friends would go by ourselves and go shopping for like our own clothes. I would have blown that money on anything. If I got any cash, it would be cake. Just say cake. He's like, blowing my gun. Yeah, Chinese food. I'm gonna put a bunch of salt and red. This is the fucking... Just, but if not even like good food, it would just be like, you know, like shitty like... 400 dollars worth of sparrow pizza. Yeah, potato chips and fucking...

You're on the food court. Yeah. Do you remember how much you can get when we were kids for like a dollar? You get like two bags of potato chips. It's a chocolate dial and a fucking quarter water. Let's go. A couple of chocolate dials.

Chocolate dial was a twinkie. It's go. Couple of chocolate. Chocolate. Chalka dial was a twinkie that was dunked in chocolate. And they were 25 cents up until I was about eight or nine. Then they fucking this was the craziest thing I'd ever dealt with in my entire life. They raised the price of 30 cents. Bastards. It was like, nothing else costs 30 cents.

They like, when you're a kid, it's based off of a dolly. You operate in the denominations. Yeah, a simple dollar. I damn Clintons. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, but for him, we're going to the garden, stay plaza mall. You know, we'll do like a foot locker or a Nike store, couple of sneakers, couple of pairs of jeans, couple nice pair of jeans, some cool stylist T. Assurances. I'm sure he's, I'm going to have to pick it out. I'm going to see what he wants to get. Does he. I'm gonna see what he wants to get does he have to get anything

Like equipment wise like does he got to get a laptop or any shit like that? That's a using that we have to buy it from the school Specifically, they have a very specific laptop that he has to have and how do you do with parent teacher and stuff like that? Chill with that stuff. Yeah, I'm coming. We're going tonight. We're doing a Ressles right when he gets there head boy Hey, Mr. Thompson nice tits Hong Kong. Let's go. I'm the real ass dude. Maybe heard of me Does anybody in your world know you like in your kids world? Yeah, you bump into like anything like Yeah, I had assumed the jazz or somebody's a big fan Yeah, the like Derek G you're walking by the problem is all my fans aren't allowed within a thousand yards.

It's just cool. It's so tough. Yeah. It's a weird thing. I they're waiting out by the parking lot. Did you drive in? No, no. Yeah. So his baseball coach, her brother was a big fan of mine. Okay. So I ended up just walking on the field one day and they were like, oh, shit. This little shit going with. So like then like, yeah, like, um, yeah, and he has a female baseball coach, yes. Cool. Really? A female, well, one of the coaches is a check. So, so yeah, but I mean, yeah, I get recognized in front

of him here and there, you know, I try to keep it separate because the type of comedy that I do, it's like problematic. No. So you were in the politics. But I just, well, they act like I am. Like, it shouldn't be problematic because they are just dumb dick jokes, right? Sure.

Like, I understand why Dave Smith is problematic. He has dangerous ideas. I'm just telling jokes up here, okay? But it's like, I get concerned that one day, that will cause a problem for him. That, you know, that a parent is gonna be like, oh, well, some fucking lib-tored parent's gonna be like, oh well, he does, fucked up comedy,

a little read something. And then that will cause an issue for him because his dad does, you know, start a type of comedy. So that's something that I think about, you know, pretty fucking regularly. But it seems like he would handle that well though. It seems like he would handle it well.

And to be honest with you, I've only received like positivity. In the real world, I've never dealt with a single person being like, Oh, fuck that guy. He's that type of comedian. Anytime people either find out them a comedian or they recognize me from anything, it is 100% positivity. It's always like, Oh, that's really cool. You're a comic. When you meet parents at a parent teacher conference night that recognize you, which just happened a few times, they're like, Oh, dude, you're a comic. They don't, they're not 99% of the people don't live in the world where they're reading the politics of comedy and fucking these dumb things.

It's not real. I'm just a comic. If you Google my name, you had to go pretty deep into Google to find an article that says I'm like a Nazi comedian, but they exist. They're out there. Let me ask you this. Since you are in celebrity status over there, what if the baseball coaches were like,

hey, would you wanna give the speech before the game or anything like that? Are you looking forward to anything like that? Is athletic career progress? No, because I need, in order to be good at anything, I gotta be really comfortable. I have like my own like insecurities and my own ADHD and my own, I'm on the spectrum of my own ways right so when I'm not comfortable I will I'm really bad at performing so I was asked to be Gary Veter's best man it is wedding doggy I gave

I heard the story I gave a 17 minute speech without a single laugh I mean I'm talking about just brutal. Like, just talking about how hard it is to be a comedian, being in the trenches. Meanwhile, he's marrying some fucking rich bitchers, doctors in the room. Like, how are some people like you talking about how hard it is to be a comedian? There's like a brain surgery to people, three. It was wild. The whole thing, but it's like,

and then I'm like, I've started to sweat and I'm fucking getting like, it's really just not my, I mean, I would, you know, I maybe tell a fucking couple jokes, but like, it's a scary thing, dude. I gotta be comfortable. They're a crowd work with Dan. Yeah, stand up and podcasting.

I'm comfortable with. And if I have to do some shit where I'm not comfortable, I imagine that I'm sitting in front of a podcast mic. I imagine that I'm standing on stage doing stand up and that's how I get myself mentally out of it. Would you coach? No, because I'm just not good enough. Okay.

I mean, I coach him a little bit in Jiu-Jitsu because I know a certain amount, but I also know enough to know that I don't know enough to actually make him good at Jiu-Jitsu. So he's in a good school. He's got great coaches, you know, that's a part of it. But I like knowing what the reason why I like going to Jiu-Jitsu was because I liked learning it with him.

Like the very often dude, I go to a class that, let's see, he goes to a class at 430, right? And I go to a class at six. The coach, it's the same lesson for the kids and the adults that day, right? Let's see, you're working on just guard passing, right? And he's going through the same motions, the same movements.

So it's a, the bond and being able to like sort of do that together was really, really cool. And I hope I can go back one day. My knees are just fucked and I, yeah, it's just fucking hard. I've been boxing a lot. I'm boxing. I can announce it now where we have a brand new event. Brand new band brand new carnival carnival of combat.

Carnival of combat and your fight in Mr. Tim butterly. In butterly. Great comedian from Philly. But you start tuning you up right now. Yeah, but butterly. Yeah, Philly squad. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. It's my money's on butterly, even from really she start tuning you up right now Let's go let's go. I'm on ease on butterly even though I love you Even fucking hit him dude

Butter the butterly is the fucking man. I love butter and I love him. He's awesome Lot of similarities between you guys It's this is the show down to the red dad's dude. Yeah, two great Who wins so the the stipulation is in the fight, it is the Huzure Daddy match. The winner is going to legally adopt the loser. So that's the other stipulation in this fight. I mean, three three minute rounds, me and Jason Elles are producing this new event,

probably two or three times a year. It's gonna be November 4th in St. Petersburg, Florida. There's a bunch of other fighters that are going to be honored as well. A bunch of fun fights like the Pinyata boxing and the blindfold boxing musical chairs. It's the evolution of of L.S. Mania, but you can get tickets September 12th at 12 p.m. Eastern at carnival of combat dot com.

I mean, the last year at Skankfest, that was one of the coolest one of the highlight. The smallest parts of it. Yeah, and we're still doing the fights at Skankfest. We were going to do these boxing matches at Skankfest, but we were dealing with an athletic commission and the amount of red tape that they started putting in our way in order to do a fun silly event. It wasn't going to be as fun. So now we're doing a L.S.M.A.N.A. style stuff. We're not doing boxing. We're doing like blindfolded karate and arm wrestling and ass lap fights and sock fighting and a bunch of silly stupid shit that we've done It all as many of before

But the boxing the amateur boxing we're moving over to this other event This could be a whole other event which I think people are fucking Florida. That's fucking Florida dude Same the same the heat and same peep baby boy. Let's go like that. Oh, team rattlesnake. Let's go It's a marketing genius. I know the idea of you in front of a real athletic commission. And you're like, no, no, no, they want to get taste. Yeah. That's... Anybody can box blindfold these buses.

It was an uphill battle to save the least. They said drug testing and no crossbows. We were out. They're like drug testing and we're like, yeah, we're all on drugs. Yeah. Sir, what are you doing on my fighting? You're wearing a suit jacket right now. I can strike with you. You fucking idiot. You're all on drugs. Sir, what do you know about fighting? You're wearing a suit jacket right now. I can strike with you.

You fucking idiot. You're on the commission. You're not even having a journal. Try to grab me. You're wearing a tie. It's funny, right before you told us about this, I was gonna say is Lewis J Gomez becoming more classy. I think he is.

He just started a fight club in Florida. That's true. That is not a classy move. Put a pin in that. I'm sorry. But take it, take it, take it, take it, take it, take it in the event. He's got name show me.

There's a website. I'll give you that. Listen, a lot of people do alligator fights, all right? But I'm just saying, man, you're really, you're, I mean, he's becoming more mature. Okay, he's obviously, he's more mature than both of us combined. Obviously, he's a, he's a, he's a business owner, a, a, a good father, you know, but.

I don't know that you can, I don't know that you could, I think I'm always gonna be me. I don't think I'll ever not be, There's like a moment like I was just, you're sharp, you do great with the vacations, you're buying the house, you got the kid all squared away. I was somewhere. Pretty good with the ladies. Fair enough, who were I?

Who were I Houston, me and my girl were in Houston. And. I see the pictures of you guys are on your galvan, you're going to nice, restaurant, you're doing it classes. Yeah, you're new money. I am, but that's exactly what it is. I'm new money. And I saw, so I did this was a move.

This was, this is actually on the surface would seem like a garbage move, but I feel like it's a classy move. Let's get into it. Check this out. Okay. Me and my son, you know, he has expensive taste now at this point, right? So his favorite restaurant, you ask him,

I know how to tell you, it's the Capitol Grill. Love me some Capitol Grill. I respect that. The Capitol Grill is like, you know, it's a chain, but it's you know It's really good. It's really good. I love the capital grill. corporate steakhouse. Yes, awesome steakhouse Always catch one in a nice mall something like that always gonna you're always gonna find it in a nice if you're the decent Place you'll find it. It's always gonna be a good time. You're not really experimenting too much good levels of quality T-bone was just that one. It helps Russia.

It's the greatest. It's great. I love the capital. And they're expensive. It is as expensive as a good steak. What's he getting there, though? Does he have a taste for a nice steak? So when we order, we, yeah, he does.

He does things for everything. So he'll eat anything. I always do like four or five appetizers for the table. We always try a little bit of everything. We've gone to the point now where we'll just split, you know, a stake at the end. You should have. We'll do a quarter.

No, we have so many appetizers. We don't need something big. We use a foot of filet or something. No, usually I get the, baseball, rib eyes, tomahawk, hanger, the rib eye. Okay, usually we get a rib eye,

a little marbling, flavorful. How he's getting that cooked? Medium rare, medium depending. Well, he do medium rib eye, a little marbling flavorful. How are you getting that cooked? Medium rare, medium depending. Well, he'd do medium rare. Yeah, he'll do medium rare. He's kidding. The kiddie, it's steak tartar.

He eats tuna tartar, he eats raw. He's a bit tartar. He's a retard tartar. You heard that coach. That's terrible. You're the only guy I would make that joke. Of course. And I was on the fence about it.

That's okay. So, so yeah, we'll get, yeah, usually medium rare, but we'll get a bunch of appetizers, lots of flavors. If I'm bringing like the family, everyone's just eating off each other's plates. Sure. That's just communal. Always communal. And when you go with the fam, Uncle Lewis is picking up to check.

They haven't looked at a crowd family. Say what I'm saying man. A single time, not once, not a single time has my family or my girlfriend ever even, even nudge toward the fucking bill. Nothing. The generation we could be seeing Dr. Gomez, Senator Gomez.

Crazy. So here's the thing, he has expensive taste. So after a jujitsu tournament, I was like, well, we're gonna go to dinner tonight. He's like, he's like, oh, capital girl. I was like, James, I was like, I found a better place in capital girl. Right. He doesn't fucking know.

He doesn't look at the price on these things, right? Season's 52. What the hell is that? Now, season's 52. I gotta get eyes on it. Sounds like you gotta deal with this guy. It's all for root nine. Check it out.

I have to say it six times on this guy. It's off a root nine. Check it out. I have to say it's six times on this podcast. It's also a chain and it might even be owned by Capitol grill. It might be in the same like family of restaurants. I really might be dude. All right. It's next to a fogey day channel in Eddie V's prime seafood. Yeah. That's the one right there. Yeah, it seasons just spelled with two weeks. And a Z at the end. I also cut hair in there. No, they got a flat bread. I'm in summer's nail shining. One of the best fucking lamb dishes that I've had.

Their lamb is incredible. They share every time, every season, they change the menu. Okay, that's the thing. But we'll talk about half the price. It's so good. I like that. Half the price of capital girl.

If you get a fucking add on a lobster tail for 14 bucks at this place. Doggy shit is wild, but it's really good. Not for nothing. It's really me. I got two to tar tar. They have it all crab cakes low roasted meatballs. Hey slow roasted. They call the slow.

The slow is a tar tar. Slow and low baby. He don't even have to four p.m Dude it's owned by Darden restaurant group who also owns the Olive Garden Yeah And the capital group You're a fuck cuz they're all miss they're always in the same part. That's a real dirt Dude that's first They're always in the same parking lot. That's a real dirt.

Dude, that's first time. Eddie Vs. Primes, capital of growth. It's the same steak, they get it in bowl. So they got like, one or two steaks in the menu, but then they got like salads. It's just a much more diverse thing. It's a little more casual too.

And it's fucking nice. These, they don't fucking know something. I found a better place. So now he's like, this is even better than capital. This is my new favorite place. So my lesson here is that I should have never given him those expensive steaks. He has no idea to begin with. But, as a garbage or as a classy, the fact that I've recognized that I should have never given them those expensive shares. Because he has no idea to begin with.

But as a garbageer, as a classy, the fact that I've recognized that I don't need to, because I feel like the only reason I was going to capital girl was baseless of my own garbage insecurity. And now I can take him to a less nice, but still decently nice restaurant and still feel like I'm doing nice for my family. No, that's 100%.

And I think that's classy. But you hear it's like, a lot of like, you hear that with like rappers or whoever like when the people that don't have money then make money, they go, they realize I'm like, I don't need four call, it's like, they you spend it and then you realize, oh, that's not the answer.

50 cents. I just saw an interview said something like that. You don't, there's no house worth $80 million or whatever. There's not, it's actually, it's funny, brand 50 cents because I randomly was at a Hilton in the steam room with 50 cents. Oh shit. And I thought I was like,000. Well, it's actually, it's funny to bring up 50 cents because I randomly was at a Hilton in the steam room with 50 cents.

Oh, shit. And I thought I was like, why is fucking 50 cents at the same hotel as me? And then I sort of justified and I went, I was like, my assumption is he's probably with 30 people. He's got to get a floor. And he's got to get a floor for everybody.

But I don't think he was. He was with one like business partner and they were like talking business with like this other dude, some older white guy that owns some liquor brand. And I just overheard them and then I just started chatting with him and his business partner and they were like talking business with like this other dude some older white guy That own some liquor brand and I just overheard them and then I started chatting with him and his business partner was from my hometown in Jersey So I started shooting the ship with 50 cent and it was just like this little moment about a meeting of the mines Hachi machi. Okay, let's talk about marine layer. Oh, you mean cool guy clothes. Yeah, real cool We were at a brick and mortar the other day. We were places. All right. Yep gang

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Oh, we feel like first. They got shirts for every occasion. And with their in-between sizes, you don't have to make the choice between medium and large, large and extra large. They take care of you. If you're a little round about like Kippie or Kippie Reno over here, it makes you feel nice and cozy. Chup chup. I think we can all admit the perfect tea can be hard to find. I've been searching my whole gosh darn life. Look no further than marine layer for a limited time. Get 15% off with code garbage 15 at marinelayer.com. That's guard that's code garbage, one five for 15% off your entire order at marinelayer.com,

saving your closet, once you're at a time, do it gang. Yeah, but it was kind of interesting, and it was just a moment where I thought, I was like, why is he at this hilton? It was at a shitty hotel, it was like a nice enough hotel. For me, it was particularly nice, but for him, it was just like whatever, but maybe that's why, maybe he just had a place where he's going like, there for him, for him, it was just like whatever, but maybe that's

why maybe he just had a place where he's going like there's no reason to just spend to spend. And it's a new money thing and I'm not funny. I'm gonna have money, right? I'm not new money. I'm not new. He's got the waffle station at holiday in. Yeah, but honestly, fucking it is.

And that's a little part of me, like I'm getting, I think a part of me, I would show affection by buying things for our family members, or friends, or girls, and I would have to spend a lot in order to, and I'm sort of getting out of that mentality now. Coming more responsible. I'm just like anything else,

it's more and awful a little bit. Now I'm not, it's not so, like, oh my God, I can't go to a nice restaurant. I'll give you a tip, I just took my son to Costa Rica, right? And every time I go, I always like, I was like price, I always look at like the price, and I'm like, alright, it's the minimum price for a hotel room that I'm going to stay at, because in my mind, that's what is going to be nice enough. Right. And then we were looking at hotel rooms and I was booked everything really late.

So I was looking at what James, and he was like, I really like this one. And this place was like $190 a night. It wasn't expensive at all. And it looked very nice. And I was looking at another one that was like $500 a night. And they look comparable,

but obviously the one was like, you're on a high end. Sure. And they were talking in the hotel that he liked. They were talking about how monkeys would come up to your balcony and like you could feed them and he was like oh I read that sound so cool and I was like alright cool and I was just sort of bracing for like as this place can be a little bit ghetto like what else and then I got there and it was so

fucking nice dude this was like one of the nicest hotels I've ever stayed in it was such a cool experience it was monkey little kippucha monkeys and squirrel monkeys all over the property that would just come up to you and the kids and fucking you Yeah, somebody tagged us. Why don't you feed him barbecue sauce from burger King? No, no, yeah, you were somebody tagged me. Dude, first of all we get tagged it was season Who do you get tagged in every post of yours? Feel like you fucking believe this guy this guy's trash sugar packets sugar you speak sugar Sugar packets. Sugar you speak sugar. That's right. So that's why they were crawling all over you.

This was from the the hotel staff specifically. So look, if you want them to come, give them a show, my sugar packet, they're coming to your room. So we had fruits, we had bananas, but yeah, the one video was, I was showing them a sugar packet and they descended like, planted the Apes dude. They're not barbecue sauce. Do you give them a little sriracha?

Let's go. But no, it was like, give it a macacel so they're blowing up. The lesson there was like, I was like, I don't need to just fucking try to spend as much money as possible at all times to prove to myself that I'm worth something. I grew up so poor that it's like, like I have this like a motion about money,

I think in a much different way than other people do. Like my poverty, the way that I grew up was much, I don't know anybody else who like, so unless you're like from like, like a third world country, like I grew up like as poor as the fucking cops. My mom was a drug addict on welfare, didn't work, like I just had to have shit.

And you know, it was like, I guess I was stunned about the 300 for close. Yeah, that was it, but that, but that, but that, but that was literally everything that I got, you know, and that was just, maybe that was also ghetto mentality. She got that at that moment. That also could have been a point of pride for her of being like, listen. She, she, she, I've like, I gotta send them back.

My mom, from the time I was like six to the time I was like 11, she'd really tried. She tried, right? She was on welfare. She was, you know, she ended up getting second getting cancer and really just like gave up on life. But she tried. She was like, you know, part of the Boy Scout troop and I was in Little League.

My mom, the problem was, the difference between me and my mom is if James says, I'm not going to get to today. I don't make him go, but I'm like, I was like, James, you're gonna feel really good if you go. You're very sure you don't think I'll, yeah. You should go. You're gonna regret not going.

Every time you've not wanted to go, you didn't go, you feel bad, right? And it was like, yeah. And you sort of get him there, and you get him to make the decision. If I told my mom I didn't want to go to karate, or baseball, she'd go, cool. And she just go smoke a cigarette in her bedroom.

And that was that. So there was none of that little bit of like extra encouragement. She was just kind of a lazy parent. But I think she tried to do right by us. And I think new school clothes where I grew up, I don't know if it's in every hood, but where I was at on railroad Avenue in West Havashtra, like all the hood kids, you got new clothes.

Yeah. Like everyone had a new- How you'd be tortured? A new Paris sneakers on the first day of school. You had a couple new pair of jeans, you you got new clothes. Yeah, like everyone had a torture a new Paris sneakers on the first day of school You had a couple new pair of jeans you had some new clothes your first week you're dressing in fire you're in good threads Yeah, and that's every kid and every kid in my neighborhood was fucking dirt poor But every single kid had new nice clothes the first week of school, you know, and that was that And I think that's probably still the case. You just deal with like, the next week they were all stolen.

Well, you hear everybody was wearing the different, yeah. But you hear about like people becoming new money and like rappers or people from the hood or baseball or you know, football players or athletes, and they go and they spend thousands of dollars on sneakers. It's like that is because it was built into our minds as little kids like, hey, you're gonna have

a fresh new pair of kicks. Or you're you're going to be made fun of. I remember my first day of school I had a fresh new pair of kicks like $130 for these sneakers. Like it was like half the money I had for school clothes. And we were eating a bagel. I had butter on my bagel. And then I went to go take a bite and all the butter squeezed out the back and landed right on right on top of my shoe, and it was the holes on the top of the shoe, so the butter was in it, and I remember this kid fucking, forget his name, but it's a little hilarious,

like black kid, he goes, he's like, yo, them shoes is butters, and everybody, I mean, everybody, even me, I was mad, I was like, I was fucking snappy. Oh, man, yeah. I snappy. Uh-huh. Yeah. I love it.

Mm. All right. Let's, we got to get into some questions here, obviously. Guys, when you sign in for the Patreon, we will answer your garbage questions on the road. A little bit of fucking vacation and being broke. This is from James. Are you garbage if you go on a group vacation and you know you're going to run out of money

halfway through the trip? To me, that was every trip I had with anybody. Yeah, I would go away for like four days or five days with friends with like 120 bucks in my bank. I would try to I would try to get in front of it I would throw a bunch of money the first night or two Hoping that I got good faith to ride me. Everybody's in. Everybody's in. Remember, remember I picked up that first tab four days ago at the airport or whatever? Yeah, I mean, yeah, up until I started traveling when I was like older in my 30s, I mean, every trip I took, it was, you know, you sort of budget out like a hundred bucks a day. Day one, you spend 300.

Yeah. I'm in trouble. Yeah. Fuck. All right, that got away for me. We're down on count I mean, I went to I went to Vegas first I went to Vegas when I was like 23 years old to go see chocolate alphight rampage Jackson Ran out of money With two days left lost the girl that I was with like she's just was gone. Even your broadcast. My phone battery died and I didn't have a charger that fit my phone.

I was literally in the desert, like walking in the heat with nothing. You were like 24 hours away from being homeless. Doug, it was gonna be like a fucking, like a Vegas desert movie. Like it was the beginning of like the end. It was really gonna be a problem. I remember when we went to Amsterdam when I was like 22,

just didn't bring enough money. The last day we had nothing left. We didn't even say an Amsterdam, we said an Utrecht, which was like a suburb of Amsterdam. We were like, oh, we'll save money by saying, an hour away from Amsterdam, it was fucking crazy. And yeah, like we were just, we were with this kid, we just hated this kid we were with.

So we ended up just ordering room service on his credit card for the last day, like just a bunch of shit. Oh yeah, oh yeah. But yeah, no, yeah, none of the trips that I had. And then like if you're with a chick, there's like that scene from Half Baked where Dave Sheepal's on the date.

He's like counting all the money that he's spending where he has like nothing. That's what it feels like. The anxiety of like, oh shit, the walls are closing and I'm running out of money brutal. She's like, oh, I want to go do this. The anxiety of like, oh shit, the walls are closing in, I'm running out of money. Brutal. She's like, oh, I want to go do this. And you're like, yeah, maybe we should,

I'm not really in the mood to run jets today. That's, that would be boring. Yeah. Yeah, who wants to do that? Yeah. I'm staying out in this free air conditioning. I went to New Orleans one time for a bachelor party, not that long ago, maybe like seven years ago maybe.

And I tried getting out on the trip. I'm like, I can't even afford the plane ticket. Like a recreational plane ticket at that point to me was like, fuck, and crazy. Bought the cheapest plane ticket I could. Get there. I don't even think I paid for the room. We got an Airbnb and it was fucking cockroach infested.

And all of my other friends who were like in work, you know, like had professional jobs. Real jobs, they're like, let's just go to a hotel, we're not staying. Dude, they all went and stayed at like the four seasons or something. All of my other friends who were like in work, you know, like had professional jobs. Real jobs. They're like, let's just go to a tower. We're not saying. Do they all went and stayed at like the four seasons or something? It was me and my two other broken as buddies in this huge haunted house with cockroaches.

And the roaches. Oh, it fucking, I remember just sitting there so fucking pissed. That's the worst. Yeah, you just fucking jammed up. Yeah, it's being on vacation and have it and not be awesome. It just kind of like, it just reaffirms how broke you are. I watch these like channel, and I'm sure it is not a bad life, right?

But it's like, you go on a vacation, you don't have any money and going on vacation on a budget, like it just seems like there's a lot of like, oh, I wish we could do that. Right. Yeah, you're just looking at other, at richer people doing stuff.

Yeah, I just feel like, let I just feel like let's just do. Let's just. Lobster tail sure. Yeah. You see, you'll see a channel. They're like, oh, you were going to Costa Rica on a budget. It's like, we're going to show you all the things you can do. It's like, you can eat for $3 a day.

It's like, this doesn't seem fun. This doesn't seem like a vacation. You kids want to fight the monkeys for your packets? Yeah, it's brutal. Yeah. That was every vacation. Yeah, it's brutal. Yeah. That was every vacation. Yeah, it was wild. You want another coffee?

Please. Oh, I didn't want to. I like how he doesn't like you's a gas digital. He's not like, I just disrespect my producers. Just sell Vinnie. Vinnie. I don't want you. Vinnie per box.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I don't shine shoes no more. You had it ready All right, let's see here another vacation one kind of this is from Not Nick Skinner is it garbage to leave the hotel TV on high when you leave the room to deter people from breaking in Do you have a protocol in a hotel room? That's a great question for you. Well, that's crazy Nobody's breaking in your hotel. I do it for sure I leave the TV on I'll just let them think someone's in there. I leave it on my apartment

I all the time would I do it my home is I set up you remember in home alone where he had all the Hot holes. That's a nice you got fucking Michael Jordan. I do it all times and I have strings and I have music playing Yeah, I don't let anybody think. I think there's a lot of people there. And not only is someone home, we're having a party. Yeah, dude, just corn, blasting. Yeah. Well, you use the safe in a hotel room. If I'm in another country, yeah.

Oh, this is, if I'm in this country, no. So if I'm in another country, because I've had money stolen from me in other countries, hotel staff and, yeah, I'm in your bag or whatever. I don't even have a lot of cash. And it's, you're just broke. I remember I was in Puerto Rico singing at the Paradisus Resort,

which was the only on-closer resort in Puerto Rico at that time. I think it still is. And yeah, the staff, we only had a couple hundred dollars. It was all inclusive. So it was like, everything's paid for. I guess I love it all in close-up. You have to get there.

Gotta get it. If you're there. I got a couple hundred dollars. God forbid something happened. Sure, just get there. But that's it. So we were staying at this. I was in a run of a shrimp. We're good. That's that. And you know, they stole like the money.

They stole the cash. Cash was gone. And that's all I had. So I know they stole the cash. Damn. And yeah, it becomes a whole to do. And then I was, I started getting even more annoyed because I had to go file a report and go to this office. And it's this big, massive resort. So like half my day is just on golf courts going back and forth, like writing shit

and like it's just, it's really annoying. So yes, if I'm in another country, I use this safe. Every time my watch, what do you do with your passport when you're abroad? Do you take it out with you? Or you'll put your safe in? And don't take it with you when you go around anywhere. No, I take a picture of it on my phone.

Gosh, that's what we were just talking about. Yeah, we were just talking about it because I'm doing, I'm going to him, hitting Greece. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we were talking about it. I gave you advice. You did?

I tried to get, Did he tell you the advice I gave him? Well, I go. I said, don't go where you're going. Yeah. Why? He's going to Santorini, which is, me and my girl just weren't there.

It's all stairs. He's worried about the stairs. Yeah, that's, that's for me. Yeah, okay, it's the fuck, dude. Yeah, that's that's for me. Yeah, okay. It's the fuck dude I it's not just stairs and he said there's another island That is just as nice, but not as torsie and not as expensive not as much. I think it's called seasons 52 People will say to reeney Santa reeney naxos That's the same squid, same ocean.

Santa Rene, Naxos, Power Rose. What are you doing? No, no, no, no. Santa Rene was like, dude, it was so romantic and beautiful, right? It was like really, really incredible. But just so you know, like, it is like you're climbing the Rocky Stairs every day. No, I got you.

Every day. You get to the top of the stairs, everybody's gonna fucking jump up and down with your girl, covered in sweat. Here's the stairs, everybody, you're gonna fucking jump up and down with a girl. Covered in sweat. Here's the thing, we're doing a weight loss challenge on the Patreon. And I gotta make some ground up before I get back. So I'm gonna need all the walking

and all the stairs I can handle. Yeah, the stairs, this is about three. Yeah. You need 500, you can handle two, maybe three. It was one of the most romantic places to everyone. We had one of those little carved out cable towels. It's like literally sat in the side of the mountain. We had a hot tub that just literally,

we were staring out into the Caldera, the big Calcanum, as romantic as it gets. I've been using that word, like such an asshole, ever since I heard how romantic. No, Caldera. Caldera. Caldera. Yeah, if you're staying in any of them in here, it's in the area where the windmills are. Yeah, I say, we all say that's it.

And it's that. That's fancy. That's my spot right there, one on the left. Let's say that you have that whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. Click it. Click it.

Ooh. You got that whole villa. I got that whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing. That whole thing.

You got to do that. You got to do it. This guy break in my balls for spending money. Wasn't that bad? What do you mean? I used my points in miles. Is that the lie we're using? Sure.

Where do we stay? We stay. It wasn't that bad and it took two times for the card to go through. It almost didn't happen. There's Navy Federal was playing a hard ball with it. It's really nice. You're going to love it. Yeah, I'm excited.

You're going to love it, dude. I was suggesting some restaurants. You'll fucking, dude, the fucking, the food is really, really good. I'll tell you right now, it's really good, but it's not like Italy were, and Italy I eat everything. I'm just eating nuts. I love Italian food. I don't love Mediterranean food. I eat everything. I'm just eating nuts. I love Italian food. I don't love Mediterranean food.

I love it. I got a real problem with it. You have a problem with Mediterranean? You're the love of it. Best fish I ever had in my entire life was in, huh, it was in Paris, but it was, it was in Paris. It was in Greece.

Best fish I ever had in my life. Season 52. All right. All right, let's do a couple more questions here. And then we can hit the bricks. This one's from Colin never have one red. This is just a good time. Ever pretend to power tool was an actual real gun.

Always. I can't not have a drill in my hand without fucking doing the quick roll of roll on you. I actually almost robbed a KFC with a screwdriver. Okay. Yeah, when I was the cocktail. Nothing. No, when I was the cocktail, nothing. 18, no, when I was 18, I, I, I've told the story

that it's gang small these shows, but if you guys haven't heard it, give me all the money you're gonna take these boots apart. I swear, man, give me two or three hours. It's just like, you're gonna be a jambal. You just drop a couple of screws real slow on the counter. No, what I was gonna do, I was gonna hold it in my shirt and be like,

yeah, stick him up, you see? With the blunt end of it. I worked at KFC at the time. Don't make me use this vibrator on you. So I guess I just stopped working at KFC like a couple of them before. Wait, you're gonna rob the store you worked at. I worked at a different one. So it was the KFC, it was not a franchise, but I knew the process for KFC. Oh, this place is right for the take of that. The end of the night. Oh,, but I knew I knew the process for KFC. I was trying for the ticket. The end of the night. Oh shit. I knew how much money was in the bag.

I knew how they went out the back of his lock bag. And it was like three grand. It was going to ruin my life for like three grand. And the plan was to show up and jump out of the bushes and be like, you know, and I have a disguise. I had a ski mask. I stole the ski mask. I went to Models because I was like, I can't be on camera had a ski mask. I remember I stole the ski mask I went to to Models because I was like I can't be on camera buying a ski mask

But the ski mask in a bag You told me about this all fucking kill you So yeah, I saw the ski mask and then I was gonna show up on a ski mask and I was in the bushes I was there like what the guy came out and I just chickened out. Lewis. What are you doing here? I tell you I think you don't work at the story, man. I just chickened out and I didn't do it. I mean, dude, you're like one or two decisions away from being dead or is it?

Yeah, there was a few very, very close. Like, we had a Pizzeria owner that we worked for that was gonna pass the burn down the Pizzeria and he called it off last minute. We were on our way to do it. I felt like this is crazy. We were on our way to do it. Yeah, one of the kids from where we're at Avenue.

Holy shit. Yeah, yeah. We both worked at that pizza. It has delivery voice. That's a high dollar sophisticated crime. That's white car. That's white. Yeah.

It was in an insurance five grand each. That's all right. He still needs somebody. And the whole plan was we were going to take, we didn't know how anything works. We were going to take lighter fluid and then spray it all over the fuse box, just the fuse box and we're gonna light the fuse box. In our mind that was gonna fucking, you know, those wires were gonna fucking all just

like catch fire on the inside. We didn't think about it. It was literally just gonna be a little shitty fire, we were gonna get caught, he was gonna rat us out and say he had no idea and that was gonna be the end of my life. I think that's what was gonna happen. Yeah, he was never, he was gonna, he wasn't going down when we got caught. The owner of the pizza way had no idea and that was going to be the end of my life. I think that's what was going to happen. Yeah, he was never, he was going to, he wasn't going down when we got caught. The owner of the pizza ran away.

He wasn't going to be standing at the, what took you so long? Did you get to five grand up front? I didn't get anything now. We didn't do it, we called it off, or he called it off the night of just because, man, like I was a bouncer at the time. And the whole idea was I was going to, my buddy was going

to pick me up. I was going to literally be at work. I was going to dip out the back door so I have an alibi. He was going to pick me up. We were going to drive to the Pizzeria, which was about 15 minutes from there and then drive back in that half hour and hopefully like that was enough to not fucking, it was fucking stupid. Lewis, why do you smell like calzones?

It's like calzones. It's like a little light-elzones. You come back with a slice. What? Yeah, and in my lunch box. It's a little burnt, but it's still good. Why are you holding fuses? Blaserdown, Mr. Lewis, Jake Gomez, brand new special out right now on his YouTube page 30 minutes with Lewis J

Gomez check it the fuck out. Yeah, thank you guys. It's the best stuff I've ever done. I really appreciate you guys Having me on of course Just give it a click send it over to a friend. It's I mean true fucking dirty dirty comedy It's it's one of the darker dirtier ones of the whole series that we filmed and I think you guys will dig it If you guys did good stand-up comedy, I think you'll love this. So please go support it and click on it and share it with a friend. We love it. Kippy, what do you got for?

Guys, we're all over the road as well. That second show at the Fillmore in Philly is moving, so get those tickets. Don't fucking snooze on that. Third show at a Toronto. Get those fucking tickets. We fucking love you. All tickets are available at rregarbage.com. Gang, we love you.

See you next week. Peace. We fucking love you all tickets are available at REGARBAGE.com Gang we love you. See you next week. Peace