Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Medication Dippin' Sauce w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG Promo Code: AYG Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Kip, how about that state trashy tour? Low ticket alert. Moving some tiki wikis. Gang, listen, here's the turkey. We've been all over the country. We're coming again. It's a good time. Stand up comedy, play little AYG with the crowd.

Come and hang. Yeah, guys, this is just the first leg. In March, we're starting Baltimore, Maryland, Virginia Beach, Virginia, Richmond, Virginia, Oklahoma City, Dallas, Texas, Houston, Texas, Austin, Texas. And in April, we're doing New Haven, Connecticut, Burlington, Vermont. Then in May, we're doing Tampa,

Dania Beach, Florida, Raleigh, North Carolina. Then in June, we're doing Cleveland and Columbus. We're adding more cities as tickets are going quick. Some of them are about to sell out if they're not already sold out, so don't snooze on this. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.

Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Oh, yeah. That little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it's a group to be classy. Yeah.

Such a just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Aunt Tootie's basement. She's out at the Acme, stealing dinner. Okay. So, talk about sous vide. You don't wanna know where she keeps the filets.

Okay. All right. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. It's a goddamn family episode, ladies and gentlemen. Just the boys, just the girls, just the bozos and just the homies. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman.

He is not to be trifled with in the boardroom, the bedroom, or the bathroom. Hey, what's up? Yikes! It's K. J. That ain't no cheerleader in there. Kevin James Ryan. What up, gang?

Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate review. Cheerleader's so perfect. Make sure you rate review, subscribe on iTunes. All video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are... Trutter out! Cooking!

Yeah! I mean, that thing is on, that thing's fucking smoking. Methods, I love it. I don't know, what's gonna, counter must be broke over there. There you go. Guys, when you sign up for Patreon,

you get a crap ton. I can't curse in the first minute. You get a crap ton of content. I'm talking like maybe two tree bajillion hours. We got episodes of hard feelings. We got bonus episodes of AYG. We got the Disney bits coming. We got everything cooking over there.

Check it out. Real jive turkey over there on that Patreon. Yeah. That's not a curse. Nope. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer, extraordinaire, the magic man makes us all look good. Works those ones, works those twos,

crosses those T's, dots those I's. Got a fresh pack of crayons back there. Give it up for T-Bone McScroffins. Tell me McMullen everybody. What up, dude? What up, T-Burns? Yo, cute insults are the best. Like this mother sniffing bumblebutton.

Shout out to him, dude. Sound like a bunch of hoos. Yeah. Yeah, dude. What was it? A wiggie muffins on an elf? Sniggle puffs? Something like that.

I don't know. If you do it, you're gonna clean it up. I'd say that much. You know what they're really talking about. Loose broads. The fresh pack of crayons made me. The fresh pack? The fresh pack of crayons made me think.

What was your crowning achievement as a child for school projects? What was the best thing you ever made? I made a diorama, were they called? Take it easy. No, where were they? Were the shoebox in the other, on like the shoebox? Big Indian dinner, huh?

The shoebox, what? Diarrhea, I don't know. That's where you went with it, okay. Like the shoebox inside, the shoebox lit inside the shoebox and you create the little environment for the animals or whatever. Oh, of course. I think one of those.

No, I should say. Just horse stables. I remember the one time I had to make an atom. This is Nibbles, he's a mob horse. Big needle going into it. I had to make an atom and I really accomplished. What's an atom? An atom?

An atom and Eve? No, an atom. Oh, an atom. Yeah, what am I saying? You said atom. An atom. An atom. Atom.

Atom. You didn't say atom. You, listen. You just said atom. You just said atom. No, there's different. Atom. Atom.

Atom. Atom. You're not saying atom. Yeah, I understand. I'm saying it properly. Atom is, Adam is a person. You're saying the same word when you say it. I'm telling you, you are.

Stop. I might not say words right, but I got headphones on and I hear exactly what you're saying. Ready? You have to meet my friend, Adam. And then he's made of atoms. You didn't say that when you said it the first time. You're just like, do you?

Yes, I did. You also said in the exact name. You said, thank you. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Atom. That's not what you're saying. That's not what you said the first time.

Atom and atom. That's not, oh, sure. That's not what you did when you said it's atom. You go, it's not atom, it's atom. I think you're lying. Toby, the guy in charge of the ones that just agreed with me. Toby? I do cross the T's and dot the I's.

And you did not have a T in that atom. That was an, that was a D. You don't think about electrons though. Tell you that. That was an uppercase D in that atom. You made an atom. Yeah. And we bought this thing for like a wreath or something.

Tennis balls and golf balls. That's what everybody was doing. But I cut, I had my dad weld it and he was so mad, dude. I waited until the night before. We had to go. I was like, yeah, you got to weld these. You got to get the acetylene out or whatever it's called. Yeah, you got to go with the acetylene.

We got to drive to the fucking office to get his soldering machine or like soldering tank, come back to the house, do it. And I remember he was smoking a cigarette and he was like, it's soldering it back together. Keep that low. It's stunk, man. He was so mad.

Dropped that shit on me at eight o'clock on a Wednesday. He was upset. Man, they hated that shit. Yeah. Getting drugged to Michaels at like 7.30 on a Wednesday. Sure. Woo, no shot of getting a pack of candy then. I'll tell you that.

We also had to make an egg launcher at one point. And it was like simple machines. You know what I mean? Like a pulley, a lever, and a fulcrum. Was that the other one? Yeah. And this one had to be done with simple machines to make who could launch the egg the furthest.

9th grade probably, 8th grade. And simple machine for a simple boy. Yeah, no, I had my step back. Honor student, huh? What were you doing? Not doing, I wasn't doing potato guns at my school. He was getting straight A's that throwin' rocks from trains.

Yeah, what are you talking? Crushin' pennies on the train tracks. That's what you were doin'. Break a window at the old Johnson Place. No, we did, my crowning achievement was graduation day, or the last day of school. Must've been a good career. Graduation day.

No one's doin' work on graduation day. I'm still tryin' to play catch up. 8th grade, we threw eggs off the building. That's your crowning achievement in... Listen, listen. That's not started off, that's not a project. We threw eggs. I thought he was like, well, we didn't launch eggs.

There I am, on the roof throwin' eggs. We had to make a parachute for an egg, and the egg couldn't crack. Yeah, I had to have something that could get it down there safely. That's very close to my project. No, we weren't shootin' them. Plus I hard-boiled mine.

I love how I'm like, we launch an egg, you're like, no, we were makin' a land safely. Did you really? He slammed that thing, and you coulda jacked slammed that thing on the ground, it wasn't gonna break. The years were scrambled. I make it too high and dry, will ya?

I'm makin' an omelet gun. Oh, God. Mine's a Western. Hey, if you're not gonna eat your fries, I'll have one. You're not gonna eat your taters. Nah, I did a regular one, but that was my best thing.

I can't remember. Graduation day? What, were you in a slow class? That's what you're doin' as a senior in high school? No, I said 8th grade. 8th grade, the last day of school at 8th grade in the summer started. You had this big thing,

and the teachers went up there and they would throw them off, and the whole school gathered around. I think the news was there. Probably was, slow day. Slow kid drops egg. But I used, I wanna say it was like the GI Joe, I had like a pretty solid parachute,

and it floated right down, man. It was like D-Day. It was fantastic. That was the best. The hell, DLC? And then the next year, in high school and wood shop, we broke out the architecture stuff,

the foam strips, and you made a house, you didn't have to make a house? No, like the foam board, you mean? Yeah. No, we didn't have to make a house. We made- Mine was rough. We made a cigar box, and I kept my chiba in.

Had a little drawer for my papers and all. Yeah, we made a cigar box. I think we had to make a car, like out of a single, you know. A little soapbox race car. Yeah, it was probably 8th grade, 9th grade probably. Yeah, I was junior high.

8th grade probably. The kids that were really good at that, yikes. Yeah, we- Those are the things you wanted to be bad at. Yeah. To a degree. Uh-huh, won't get over there making a shank. Getting ready.

Getting ready for the york. Yeah, no. But I hate it. Yeah, I never really did well in anything, the papers, whatever. That was just get by, if it had to be eight pages, you know, you fidget to be eight pages.

Of course. The projects were all right. I did kind of enjoy that. I mean, make it a little more interesting if you're fucking launching eggs from the 50 yard line. That ain't bad. Yeah.

My stepdad did that. We spent way too much. Like he was just like, wait, I mean, he made it his price. He's fully automatic. I'll do that thing. People were like, what the fuck? Shoots a dozen eggs a minute.

Yeah, just fucking. We ended up losing too. Fucking, I'll break. Uh, I wanted to ask you this too, because I do this a lot. You know, I personify things. Is it trash to say goodbye to places when you leave them?

Like goodbye house? Is that weird? Yeah. Like if you leave a place, thank you, goodbye house. I think so. Is that what you do? Yeah.

I always say goodbye. You say goodbye to your apartment? If I'm leaving for a while, I do. Wow. Yeah, no. Or if like, if like we stayed in Airbnb and I leave the Airbnb in my head, I'll be like, buy Airbnb. Thank you for everything.

Is that weird? That's very weird. Yeah, that's crazy. Totally weird. I mean, that's stuff you do with like- Totally just put sunglasses on. That's stuff you do with your nieces and nephews. Like say, bye to the whatever.

That's weird to me. Yeah, but I don't know. You're a weird guy. I don't know what to tell you. What about the car? Does your car have a full personality and all that stuff? No, we've talked about this. It doesn't?

No. Huh. It's just a car. It just gets me from point A to point B. I don't have a name for it or anything. All right. Yeah, no. No, I don't say bye to-

Say bye to the apartment? No. Bye to the building? No. No? People are gonna think there's something wrong with you. Walking down. Goodbye, elevator.

See you later, Malboa. Goodbye, pizza place. See you at lunch. Not those things. Okay, well, I mean, where do you draw the line? I don't know. A place that you've stayed at. All right, yeah, that's weird to me.

I don't know if it's trashy. That's full-blown- Toby? That's full-blown psychotic, if he asked me. Help me out here. If I feel like if I do, I'd be enabling crazy behavior. I was like, oh yeah, everybody's saying bye to the building.

For an example, when we left the Airbnb in Disney, you didn't say goodbye, bye house? No. Really? I said, hello, New York. Yeah. I said bye, Orlando. I ain't never coming back.

That's, yeah, no, that's weird. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. That's, should probably talk to a professional or something to clear that up. Real estate agent? Well, what do you think's gonna happen if you don't say bye? Do you think it's rude?

No. Like they're gonna be like that. Airbnb is gonna be mad at you and chase you down the block. You didn't say bye to me! It's not a fear thing. After you ruined my toilet. You do that to my toilet, you don't even say bye to me?

Kinda, kinda stu-not are you? Daryl it. No, I don't know what it is. I guess it's personification. Okay. I make everything alive. Sure. Does that make sense?

Mm-hmm. No, I mean, no, it doesn't make sense, I guess in the logic kind of, I'll live in this childish world with you. That's crazy. I don't know. Yeah. All right.

Okay. All right. Uh... Welcome back to all. Am I a psychopath, ladies and gentlemen? Saying goodbye to the Airbnb. I saw you, I saw you. Or is it a fake house?

There's a fake house in Orlando. Yeah. Was it a fake house? It was a real house. His name was Gary. And he was a nice, sweet boy. He was a gentle lover and cooked me eggs in the morning that I quickly threw off the roof.

He was going through a bad divorce, if you must know it. He has two kids from a previous marriage. Give the guy a break. He's got two sheds from a previous marriage. He's got an inlaw suite that won't stop hounding him. Oh man, but gang, it's a gosh darn family episode. Sure is. Fine enough for that Patreon over there

where I'll answer your garbage question on the air and I gotta let you know, the homies over there on Patreon come with some real barn burners. Real humdingers, they do it. They know what they're doing. They're real trash, baby. They're top notch trash and you gotta love them.

All right. This one's from RWM, ever take medication with a dipping sauce. No, but... I don't think that would work per se. Some honey mustard burger sets. Yeah, unless it's got a bad taste or something. I usually raw dog them.

We've talked about that, yeah. I usually raw dog them, but what I will do, Little maple syrup. No, I'll make them stickier. I'll name each pill and then build a little house that they live in and I don't like eating my friends. Take them with Cheetos. I'm gonna put peanut butter on it like I'm a dog.

Get me to eat them. Piece of cheese. Hold your nose. There's always jealous of that, that the dog got a piece of cheese with his pills. Sure. My dad would just stand over and talk me, swallow it, swallow it.

Cause I was really bad with that. Sounds like a real calm guy. Man, he asked first. Got dressed as well. Love you, Pop. I was really scared to take pills when I was a kid. I couldn't swallow them. I don't change in college.

I started snorting them. Doctors said I could snort these. No, but I remember when they were- Free basin diamond tap and they'd drink. I remember when they were trying to break me of the children's Tylenol, which I loved. Sure. It take, take the regular ones.

The red stuff. Yeah, they were the red ones. Wait, no, the red, oh, you were taking children's Tylenol liquid pill. He went to a red bottle? Yeah. No, no, we had little children's Tylenol that were chewable and they weren't too bad.

They weren't, it wasn't a lutein's, but it was okay. Oh, I remember the, I remember the phase into adult pills was like- It was scary. I don't know if I'm gonna get a job after this. What are we doing? It's this real man shit we're talking about. Could he give me a Cedron?

I don't know. Pay your, I know, back problem. What's this? I'm not arthritic. The fuck, give me the right, give me the juice. Take those water pills and stick them up your ass. I hated that red, red Tylenol if you had a fever. That's what like this, the sip,

like out of the, man, you might as well been giving me plutonium. I fucking hated that. I got, got, got it. Chase would have fucking shot a Sprite real quick. Take the edge off. Make two more. Make this into a snake bite.

Yeah. I didn't mind that stuff. I actually liked it. There was, there was a lot of cough medicine that I- I love dimetap. It's fantastic. The grape dimetap. Dude.

I remember even at an early age, obviously it was a fat little wee lad. This is still a chubster today. But I'm working on it. It would curb my appetite. And after like four days, I was, I remember feeling, I was, I wasn't, I just wasn't hungry. I remember feeling trim.

What are you, a divorce woman? Taking Dexatrim. Fendpills. Do you remember Dexatrim? I mean, I remember the name. I had the little pills inside. That blew my mind. The little tiny-

The little pellets? Pellets inside. Ooh. That was just crank for divorce A's. Yeah. It's just math. It's just speed, dude. No, I'm not hungry.

He just all fucking zipped out. He read the paper in three minutes. This is great. He's trying to fucking cup a decap. It's a melatonin toots. You're fucking all over the road. Holy shit. I remember that stuff would make an appearance here

and there, not with me, but just like it would be around. There's someone who would be taking it or whatever. I remember after a couple of days being tight, all right, tightening up, lose a couple of water weights, skip a Burger King, me or whatever. And I'd be tight, remember being tight. And I remember being like, oh, dude, you could just take a shot of this every morning.

You'd be trimming no time. Beating off the ladies with a stick. Like an old dime of temp breath Ryan over there. I didn't mind that stuff, but the regular pills, man, that was really, yeah. I remember one time. When Advil came on the scene, I was like, I'm an M. No, I remember.

I used to suck on them. Trying to take an Advil, yeah. And I was like, and I wouldn't. I'm like, I'll just suck on it. And my mom's like, you can't do that. Remember yelling at him. I'm like, what? It'll get into my bot.

Like it'll go, if I suck on a piece of candy, that goes into my stomach. This will go into my stomach. Do you know how bad they taste once you get through that candy coating? No, I never made it. I remember spitting it out on the floor. Because the way they got me to take the pills

is they would take the regular Tylenol and they would put it between two spoons and they would crush it. And they would add a little water to it and make me take it. And it tasted like- It's like Civil War. Just breaking down pills and making your own elixir.

Dude, it was brutal. But the line of my dad just coming home from work one day when I was sick and he was just fucking fed up with it. It had been going on for like six months. I've gotten sick like two or three times and he was just so pissed. And he just sat down.

He was like, take the fucking pill. Took it and once I got the hang of it. I just started doing a recreation. I can do like five, six pills at once and just knock them back. But what I was gonna say is what I do, not honey mustard, but I'll keep- Aren't you a big boy?

Yeah, right? I can tie my own shoes, though. All right, you don't say. Not really, but- I used to be able to tie my own shoes. Henry's doing- What the fuck was that? Henry's doing pills at an eighth grade level.

My little- My little Henry's already snorting pills. The name is Steve, can't even take him yet. Does your son have his own straw? You legitimately said I can do five at a time. Yeah. He's- Something's going on.

Something's going on. A little construction next door. Somebody's digging a way out over there. Oh fuck. Gonna be a goddamn coal miner popped into the window in a minute. What year is it? You guys got any cobalt in here?

You went the wrong way, buddy. Kip, it's Mint Mobile, baby. Ooh, the mintiest of the mobiles. One of our faves over there. Gang, if one of your big New Year's resolutions was not to blow money and be a jerk-off, do yourself a favor and get over to Mint Mobile. You can order it from home

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at mintmobile.com slash garbage. Do it, folks. Hiya. Kippy, it's ButcherBox. ButcherBox, ButcherBox. Ooh, ButcherBox, ButcherBox. ButcherBox. Yeah.

I got a fridge full of meat. Yep. Bang. I'll tell you what. They sent over the kitten caboodle. I think you forgot we were doing an Android, and I like it. They sent over the kitten caboodle, dude.

I know. I got ribs coming out of the ears. I got ground beef. I got turkey. I got free-range chicken. No antibiotics. Grass-fed, grass-finished, free-range. The whole nine yards, man.

They do it real nice over there, and they take the guesswork out of it. I like when they just send it. I tell the bird, figure it out. Whenever they send you, I don't care if it's turkey or pigeon. I know. Get something cooking.

Shout out to Squab. I've had it. Really? Yeah. You know what they sent? Real quick. Side note. They sent a pork loin.

Oh, yeah. Dude, that thing was banging. Yeah. Slice that up. I got a rack of ribs. I don't know. It's like a brontosaurus or something. This thing's huge.

I had to get a meat freezer for this thing. Don't even fit in a regular freezer. Got them off the Undertaker. I mean, I'm giving out racks of ribs like Bumpy Johnson. Dude, they hook it up. I know. All right. Let's get back on track here.

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All right. This one's from Bruce. This is something we used to, oh, no, I'm sorry. It's not from Bruce, it's from Cameron. Is it garbage to put a piece of bread in a bag of cookies to keep them softer for longer? Did you know that rule? That trick?

That's a real old, that's a poor dirtbag trick. So you bake fresh cookies, and then you take a container, whatever you put them in, and you put a piece of bread in there, and that absorbs the air first, and that gets crazy fucking hard after like a day. And the cookies stay soft, mushy, delicious. We used to do that with bacon. What?

Yeah, put a piece of bread in there with the bacon to soak up the grease. You didn't eat the bacon. Bacon and where? In the pan? No, no, no, no, no, if you had leftover bacon, she would put it, I think so. I don't know.

Yeah, it would be on top of bread. I guess maybe to soak it up. To soak it up. You know, I don't know, I never heard that. But then you got a lopsided loaf. You're going to have an uneven sandwich proportion now. I don't know if they're even all the time. No, I don't think so.

I don't think they're counting to make sure they're even. Yeah, I don't remember any time I've ever ended up with one end. Yeah. Always. Yeah. Always. Always, I feel like you have an odd number, a lot.

I don't think they cut sandwich. I don't think they cut bag or loaves of bread. I could be wrong. But to perfectly make a number of sandwiches. Give that a goog. Because I know they fuck you on the hotdog buns. Yeah, that's just good marketing. They used to.

Yeah, you got to buy two packs if you want to make it. They don't do it anymore. It's eight and eight. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. What do you got? 20 to 24 uniform slices. 20 to 20.

All bread? Yeah. I feel like a drywall in there, too. No, I meant all loaves of bread. It could differ from manufacturer to manufacturer. It's got to. I wouldn't know anyway, because I always take an extra piece to make a little heifer.

Yeah, why am I making my sammy? Yeah, that's a good trick. I remember somebody dropped out on us when we were like, I must have been seven. And I was telling other moms, like, yo, I got a piece of bread in there. I don't really, you know, I don't keep them fresh for the week, you know what I mean?

You got to replace the bread, too. Because that, like, it gets like a dry sponge real hard. And you throw that out to another slice of them. Hey, Tuts, I don't mean to be telling tales out of school, but if you slide a piece of rye in there. I think it's got to be white. It's got to be something real, real porous, you know what I mean?

I assume you didn't mess with pumpernickel as a kid, right? No, we were a Strowman's family through and through. Rye at my dad's from the bakery. We get a fresh, fresh, fresh loaf of rye. And then he was that Italian bread. That was divorced, that shit. It was a white, just in the thing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Uncut. No, no, not, not like a, not like a baguette. It was Italian. No, no, they're not baguettes. They're, they're, they're, they're, they're. No, I'm not, you're not, we're not talking about the same thing. We're talking about sliced white bread, but it was like a, called Italian style.

Oh, Mayor's Italian. Oh yeah, well that was banging. Was it MA, MAHER or something? Something like that. Yeah, that was our local one. That shit was awesome. Mayor's Italian bread. Yeah.

It was just white bread. It was just white bread. Yeah. Yeah, it's exactly what it was. Mayor's Italian bread. Mayor's premium Italian bread delivers the same high quality fresh baked bread and pre-sliced store-bought convenience. That's what we were banging with back in the day.

And you know what else too? They were a little bigger. A little bigger, the fluffier too. Yeah. Make a, make a PB, PB sandwich on that long style. Good. Because the Strohman's were squashed. Strohman bread stinks.

Also too, if it was on sale, she put it in the freezer. Fucking break that out, thaw that out. Smelling like fucking crab legs or whatever else was there. You know what deserves a medal, like a medal of honor? Is the Aldi Split Top Wheat at 89 cents a loaf. That kept me alive for 10 years. I don't even know what that is. We had Strohman's Split Top Wheat.

The Split Top Wheat, some of them was with butter. Oh yeah. They put butter in that crack. But that Aldi bread, dear Voss. You got butter in your crack. Sometimes. Hit the Aldi, grab some Split Top Wheat, some off-brand PB and J. That'll keep you moving.

Aldi's wasn't around. That's weird to you at Aldi's. That was in my poor days, in the early 20s. Yeah. They were around. Yeah, they were around. I know they were around, but they weren't around. That shit wasn't flying in Philly.

Aldi's were there, I think. In Philly? In 2000s? Yeah. 2000s, OK. He wasn't like, this wasn't like the 80s. That's right. I keep forgetting them.

You know what I mean? Young whippersnapper you are. All right, let's see here. That shit definitely went afloat in the 80s. No. A German company. Oh yeah, there was still some tensions lying. You know what I mean?

There'd be guys out there with American flags waving them. You'd try to drop an Aldi on Washington Ave or something. You'd have problems. You would have sold me grapes. You would have knocked that wall down. Had a good day of mine. Yeah. He'd think I'd fucking donate that at.

Change your name to Steve or something, all right, Frans? Kick rocks. Yeah, it ain't working. All right, let's see here. This one's from Hoagie Fest, $10 home. He never had one read before. Is it garbage to own a sports team street sign? Example, Steelers drives or parking for Eagles fans?

Only all others will be towed. That is a real dirt-backed thing, but it's a fun, kitschy thing in a bar. You know what I mean? If you have any sort of real street sign, even if it says something, if it's like real size and quality and color, that's cool. I'll give you that.

We had a bunch of that shit at the fraternity house. Stop signs that were stolen. One of the kids was in it. Real tough guys, huh? One of the kids was an engineer. Stole a traffic light. We put that in the acid room. That was a good Friday night.

Yeah, it'll get you. Watch that goof off. Yeah, but anything like that, that shit is kind of like a cheese-tastic. I always thought of this. Parking for Tom only or whatever. Sure. We've talked about this, I think, but the license plates

on the wall, I thought I had one cousin. I still think that's pretty cool. It's not, but in my head, it's like. You have a bunch of different license. I remember looking at a Florida license plate, a Jersey one. Whoa. Yeah, sweet. Steal all these cars?

Yeah, that makes, I guess it's probably easy to buy now, but back in the day to get your hands on different license plates from different steels. No, I'm sure you could get them somehow. It's not like you're stealing license plates. Yeah. No, they were buying those somewhere. You think?

Yeah, I mean, I think stealing a license plate, it's like an actual, that's not just like stealing a street sign. Really? Stealing someone's auto tags? Yeah, that's like, that's probably state property. Is that a felony? I don't think it's a felony.

Oh my God, it depends on what you use it for. It's a Class A misdemeanor. Yeah. Class A. You don't say. Yeah, I mean, I think you get, I mean, to do. Misdemeanor. Get that expunged.

Yeah, but to do one, sure. But I mean, if you're stealing, if you're stealing 40 to decorate your bar or whatever, that's like, don't, don't jam me up. If you're stealing a bunch of, you're just stealing license plates. If somebody comes in, it's their license plate. Hey, what the fuck?

GXQ? Going into long-term parking with a screwdriver. Just decorating boys. What are you doing in the basement, huh? Treating them like it's home goods. Yeah. Okay. That's all I would say.

All right, this one's from the Kurt May. Shout out to the boys, $10 shareholder here, looking to climb that way off that corporate ladder. There you go. Real go-getter. Shout out. Is it garbage to take your family or significant other to a used car lot sales promotion festival

for Saturday afternoon entertainment with no plan on buying a car? We've well documented. Yeah. Nothing wrong with it. I don't think- That's America right there. I've never done it, but back in the day,

well, there was one on the bullet, there was a couple of ones that would run them. We've talked, they would run it on local TV. I'm like channel nine. Dude, it was like an event. Man, and they'd have like a gorilla out there. Dude. Like a fucking, some guy would pull up,

dressed as Uncle Sam. It's like a dirtbag circus. Yeah. Hey pal, slip and slide, slip and slide. I don't care where it's at. Free hot dogs and free diesel. Let's do it. And I'll tell you what,

you got an Uncle Sam on a pair of stilts. Look out. You didn't know what it was. You remember that the first time you saw that? I remember the first time I saw somebody else. Why was he always so tall? I don't know. It was just always a character that he put on stilts.

Just to be over the crowd, I guess. So he can drop that savings on to you. Well, you know, the man's watching. He's gotta be above you to drop all those bucks. You know what I mean? Yeah, Uncle Sam on stilts. Look out. I want you in an Esau ultimatum.

Yeah, all that shit. For no money down. Which I respect the local order. We talked about that too, the difference between a dealer and a lot. We were a lot family. My dad's. News cars all the time from a guy who we knew.

My dad's favorite show was a local car infomercial. He knew the people. This one's pretty hot. Where do you see her? How? Wait, she earned his summer month, man. She don't have all, she's not all bundled up, eh? Love the July fore sale, did he, big fella?

Wait, man. He used to watch him all the time. This guy's pretty good. I'm like, it's a fucking commercial. What are you doing? Yeah. Now I respect it, though. Sure.

I mean, I would love to see them. Now they probably don't do them as much now because there's just better time to better ways to spend the advertising dollar. I don't know, I catch them when I'm home with my moms. They're still poorly produced. Yeah, it's like, dude, an iPhone would look better than this.

A lot. What are we doing? Probably paying thousands of dollars too. Oh yeah. Some Bozo production company. But I guess people see me like, I'm gonna get down there to the fucking key of dealership, do the thing, getting the money in booth,

the whole nine yards. Which I respect by the way. Me too, that's a good, that's a nice Saturday afternoon as a family. Get the kids hopes up that you're buying a new car. I always thought we were getting a new car. Like, we're getting a new car, it's gonna be awesome. Nope.

We never, I- Take your hot dog bun and shut up. I never remember part, like my mom would just show up with a car. We were never involved in it. Oh, we were heavily involved. No, never. It was a big deal.

I remember we got our first Pontiac. We traded in my grandmother's Ford Matador is what we were whipping around. And I remember I cried. There you go. That's back to, I remember I cried when we pulled away. That's different than your child. Because it was gonna be there.

It was gonna be, no, who's gonna ride in it? It was gonna be there. It was gonna be all alone. Of course we were whipping around that dude. The new Pontiac 600 could tell me nothing. Bucket seats and a little fucking Steve Perry on the box. Let's go. We always got cars.

I stepped on always had the same cars for our whole life. He just kind of kept them until they disintegrated and then we get something else. But like for the majority of my life, he had the same two cars. Ford Ranger and a big suburban. My mom, then he would always parlay a friend is getting rid of this.

It's a good deal. It's low miles. It was garage kept. And he would buy that and then give it to, like my mom was just driving wild cars. That's smart though. Smart. She was more convertible than she went to a GM,

I don't know, it was a barvado. Well, I spent the money with this thing. Yeah, they never bought it. And she just recently got a new car maybe three years ago for the first time. She got a new car. My parents just always leased, always. New Maxima, new Maxima, new Maxima, new Maxima.

Yeah. And my dad kept his Nissan truck all through high school. I think I was rarely ever even in new cars growing up. Like even, like this is the, I mean, this is the first new car I've owned was the Kia when I got that two years ago. My uncle Mike used to get a company car every few years. My dad would get the new Jeeps.

Every time my uncle Mike got a new. That's a write off. Every time he got a new company car, the whole family would be over there. It'd be like a Wednesday night after dinner, we're going to see uncle Mike's car. We'd be, we'd act like we were on the lot for that. Walking around looking under the tires.

Yeah. That's where the, that's where the fluid goes. Some old automobile with wire wheels. That just reminded me. AC that went down to about 12 degrees. Looking in there. My couple eaters. Family friend of ours.

This just shook a memory. Family friend of ours had a, got a brand new white Cadillac. Sprang, spank, like I remember, I remember because I remember, don't remember where they really, they'd start releasing them before the year. Like if it was 92, you could get a 93 type thing.

And he had an early one. Sweet dude, we went over, there was like 12 kids and he took us all for rides and had a digital speedometer. I remember thinking I was in the matrix, dude. I'm like, what the fuck? And he started whipping.

We were trying to get to 100 in it. What? Yeah, so much. Dude, there was like 14 kids in it. We're like, go, go, go. We're flying down this road at night. And we're like, get to a, I remember being in it.

I didn't know a highway either. That's local. Oh, local. Local. Doing a hundred. Seat belts? Seat belts. Nothing, about 18 of us jumping around in the back.

I was closing his eyes. I had my hands over his eyes. Oh, boy. Shout out to Jared. That's all I'll leave it at. Shout out to big Jared. That's a good piece of business. Brand new Cadillac in Bucks County.

He's saying shit like, yo, they threw in his snakeskin boots for free. Woo. Yeah. It was all right, man. I had a man to add to pussy repellent. Jumping on the car like zombies. That might have been the,

that might have been the, I can see that car. If it's what I think it is. The white big body, big body, fucking, this thing was a boat. He would come. Did it have the, did it have the horns on the front?

Who had that? Texas dude. Yeah. No, Duke's a hazard. Boss hog had that. I think he did have the chain link, license plate perimeter. Those are all right.

That's pretty good, dude. Yeah. One of those. Chain link. You don't even need to have a license plate in the front of the car in PA. They would just put them on there. That's only a New York thing to me.

License plates on both sides. Oh, that's all right. Ah, man. How do we even get there? Oh, the, after the... Go to the used car dealership on a Saturday. All right, let's see here. This is from Eric.

Saw you guys in Providence with the fam. Shout out to... Shout out to you. What's the most garbage money sharing app? Venmo, Cash App, Zell. I vote Facebook, AKA Metapay. They have that? I guess that's new to me.

I would say Zell is the shittiest. No, Zell's used for business. Zell's like real. I had to download it because someone's like, we had to pay, or somebody's like, I can pay you in Zell. And I was like, I'm not fucking down. I'm a Venmo man.

Cash app if I gotta, but I'm Venmo. Cash app is the trashiest one. Because I think when you got it, you didn't have to have a bank account. Yeah, no drug dealers take Zell. Yeah, no, yeah, Zell goes on the books. Real. Venmo, I think is still a bit of a gray area.

Cash app's fucking the wild west. We'll mail you cash if you want to. Take your trades. When you go to cash out. Facebook pay on paper does seem trashy, but it might be, it's one of the best ones. You use it? I have in the past.

Instant money transfer, no fee. I like no fees. I'm a no fee kind of guy for now. When I do love it, I'll pay for it. I need an instant transfer. But what do you buy in something on Marketplace? You can do a button for Marketplace or you can use it like Venmo, just send money to money.

I don't trust fucking Facebook. I mean, they're getting hacked left and right. The government's got their hand in there. The Russians. Next thing you know, I'm buying fucking, I'm buying missiles in the Ukraine. This is when I was freelancing, buddy. Money's money, get it to me now.

Hey, I don't hate, you gotta do what you gotta do to make ends meet. The way I judge that is what drug dealers and what drug dealers take. Cash app. Cash app. Yeah. That's still lawless out there.

Huh. Okay. Cause you don't have to, good to know. Bank accounts, like I don't have a bank account or a card hooked up and I got money in there somehow. I don't know what, I don't know how or what. Maybe they give you a little money to start out. Hey, here's 20.

Don't tell nobody. You're a good kid, huh? Get over it. That would be real trashy. Sign up and you get 20 bucks. Hey, I don't hate it. Free 20s, free 20, you know what I mean, Dadio? Hey, I already have it.

Damn, that's a pretty good idea. I think, yeah, but I do, Venmo I think is the middle of the, is the, that's the good one, I think. That's the, they seem to be on the up and up. Trust Venmo. PayPal is like, seems a little dial up PayPal, it's a little old. Yeah, but it's good for, they're like, they focus on the business aspect,

like the purchasing, like some of our merch goes through PayPal and something provided through PayPal. It's like PayPal's more business, I think. Or like, I'm gonna buy a car, I'm gonna PayPal. You're not gonna Venmo someone 14 grand. No. You can PayPal someone for it. If you're buying like a car or whatever. No.

That's the more secure way to do it. You can't be texting 14 grand to somebody. You gotta log in, all right? I'm gonna Venmo them $14 and say, oh, my secretary must have messed up. Then I'm gonna dip. That's like the big, which I respect. I don't know if we've got,

we knew you were a fan of the guy they got. I think you, me knew the guy who lied and almost bought the Islanders. 100%. Yeah. Was supposed to show up with a check for like 15 million and showed up with a check for 1,500 and blamed the secretary.

Yeah. To mail the cheque, it was like, oh, she missed five zeros. Bought him a couple days. Guy almost got away with it. Almost got away with it. Almost got away with it. I respect that. And would have been fine.

If they just would have gave it to him. He would have figured it out. No. Guy like that? Cause he had money, cause he would have been able to do something with the capital of the team. He would have been able to have the money

he lied about once they gave him the team. Sure. Which I guess. He doesn't have that. All right. Yeah, me too. I start selling tickets for a team. I don't know.

I'd have a couple of bucks too. Man, that's a good 30 for 30. Yeah. It was pretty good. All right, let's see this one's from JR. $10 Pennsylvania investor. Shout out to the good old Keystone State. The Commonwealth.

Is it garbage to wash your hair in the kitchen sink with dish soap? Some mornings, the cabbage up top needs an extra rinse. Yikes. Yikes. Dish soap, the birds do that. My mom still washes her hair predominantly in the kitchen sink.

Yeah. She washes her hair, dies her hair and shit in there. That's different. You're doing a treatment or something. That I get. I used to love that when I would get that for whatever reason. Because the bathroom sink's not deep enough.

You can't get your noggin in there, especially me. I'm jammed up. I got water squirting all over the goddamn place. Once you got that little head disease. Got a goddamn slip and slide in there. Yeah, no. But I used to feel like I was at a salon when my mom would do that.

Wash my hair in that thing. What a towel around here. The warm, with the pull out the thing and the warm water running over you. There ain't nothing better than getting your hair washed at the barbershop. At a salon. I don't love the barber to the salon.

I mean, I haven't done it. I think supercuts used to do it. Sure. I would always opt not to do it though. Some brawled with nails running her fingers through your hair. I would do it. I used to go to this place on the Upper East Side

when I worked up there at that law firm and I'd go get my haircut. It was expensive. I mean, it was expensive for me at the time, but now just realizing that's what Manhattan haircuts are. Sure. It was like 45 bucks or whatever. Jesus.

Dude, Manhattan haircuts are expensive. Yeah. Dude, even in my neighborhood, I think they're 35. 20 at my spots. Yeah, on the boroughs. Talking, I'm talking Maine. I'm talking Maine at the Empire State of Mind. Money never sleeps.

Money never sleeps. I got a fancy salon for ladies. Do a little gossiping. These two. They were the best as a little kid. When for some reason you'd go to, I'd get taken to where my mom got her hair done. I'd walk in there like fucking Leonardo DiCaprio.

Oh my God, look at that kitty. Couple of fucking Werther's originals hit me in the face. Couple of them. Little off the top, honey. Yeah. Now what's going on with you, Brods? I'm looking for a prom date if anybody's interested. Marcy, that slug husband of yours ever get a job?

What's the deal? I know an eighth grade that'll spin you around. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Oh man. I know, but I used to go to this place it was these two Russian chicks. And it wasn't really a, so now that I'm looking back on it,

I don't know if it was a full blown salon. But they go in there and they give you whiskey right away. You want some whiskey? And at first I was a little hesitant, thinking they were going to dose me and steal my wallet. Use my credit cards to buy art or something. I'm not falling for that shit again. You wake up in a cargo container?

Yeah. Is that cut still a little crooked? God damn it. I shouldn't have tipped her. No one's going to buy me now. Fucking damaged goods. I forgot a bed fade here. You could have cleaned me up a little bit.

I'm going out on the market here. The Albanians are real sticklers. But they, I mean, they weren't, they were two ugly Brods too. They weren't even attractive, but they would wash my hair for about 45 minutes and I was lovin' every minute of it. It was all right.

Feeling the dog. It was good, man. Couple shots. They would even let me up to take sips of whiskey and I would put me back down. It was pretty good. You're getting high in tights at a Russian whorehouse. It might have been.

I didn't want to bring that up, but it really might have been. One's cutting your hair, one's stepping on your balls. Little freak. Got those binder clips on my nipples. It's kind of a rubber tugger going down to the cutting fuck. The cutting fuck. Come on down to Olga's cutting fuck.

Blow dry and yank the butt plugs out at the same time. He'll be wet. Yeah, it was not Nella looking bad when I put secondary eyes on it. But like, cause you know, like when you go into a place and like the barbershop has, or like the salon or whatever has like the unit built into the wall with the mirror,

like everything's in. This was just all like furniture. You know what I mean? Like nothing was connected to the wall. His hair cut on a couch? Yeah, it was like a nightstand. I'm sitting in a folding chair. My pants are off.

I don't know what's happening. The police busted. I'm just getting the cut, I swear. Yeah, sure you are punk. That's what they all say. I remember my first barbershop. I was only, always the only guy. I was the only person in there every time I went in

and I had a Venmo of them. That's how I picked them. Jeez. At least give me a fucking handy or something. I'm over here stiff as a bone. My first barbershop was Ron's in Wilkesbury. I think it was Ron's. And he was this old, he was this older dude

cutting serious men's haircuts. And every once in a while, something would happen where I would get, usually she'd be in there with me, Patty. Yeah, of course. She'd drop us off. I think when we got a little bit older, I'm talking like 10, maybe 11.

She'd run up to my aunts. We'd be in there. And you know what they had in there? Couple of play bois. Pick up one of them, throw a highlights magazine around that. You threw that thing, looking at the highlights like this. They do something was up.

Yeah, I just can't find that goddamn pencil sharpener. Yeah. Where the hell is that? Sure, where is that crayon at? I'm getting a chair with a stiffy. Yeah, pushing through your knitly lion's basketball shorts. So how's school? Hey, shut up, man.

Shut up, all right. I'm losing my buzz over here. Yeah, he wouldn't have tall boys. That was something to straighten me out. Is that fridge still cold? What are we doing here? All right, let's hear this one from Kyle. Is it Garves just shed a tear at any point

during the viewing of Joe Dirt? That's a good wholesome movie right there. I respect every goddamn second in that film. That's a great film. Maybe when, don't you think that Christopher Walken's dead and then he comes back? Yeah, but only for like a half a second. Huge purr rack.

He gets a woody on the stretcher. I just watched it not too long ago. That's right. Maybe at the end, or maybe when you finally see Brandy pulling up on those Daisy Dukes on that horse, I'd shed a tear. Dude, I had such a fucking rush. She never went on to do much.

Naomi, I think her name is. I Google her every time I watch the movie. She was smoking. Yeah, she was crazy, crazy attractive. Smoking. Kid Rock's great film performances. It's fantastic. Play the heel.

Yeah, it was all right. Hey, what's up, Brandy? What are you doing, Joe Deer? It's actually pronounced Deer Tay. Don't try to church it up. Yeah, that was, I mean, it's a great movie all in all. I mean, also White Trash Handbook, that movie is. That's where like, I mean, I hit you the other day with Van Halen,

not Van Hagar. Of course. That's a straight Joe Deer. And I hate Van Hagar. Sammy Hagar can kick rocks. I was introduced to just like, that was too young when that was like, all that was going down. I just remember seeing him with like the bleach tear

and the Cabo Wabo. I just went like, this guy seems like he would annoy this shit out of me at a party. Like, that was like 12. Just being like, this guy would be a tough hang. The glass is on, the poop is just. Everybody go check out the buffet. I think my dad's looking for me.

Get out of here, Hagar. Do you work here, dude? This is invite only. Billionaire, that guy. Sure. Well, he was big on MTV. I guess he was trying to do a resurgence or something. Back when I was probably 10 or 12 or whatever,

like he was big. They had this big hit with Cribs and stuff like that. They had this big hit with him after David Lee Roth left. Right now, I think the name of the song was. And it was in a Crystal Pepsi commercial. Yes. And it blew up. Do-bo-ro, do-bo-ro, do-bo-ro, do-bo-ro, do-bo-ro, do-bo-ro.

We might get hit for fucking plagiarism, you know what I mean? I was fucking David Lee Roth all day. The best fucking showman right there. There was a winger man myself. Shot at the Kip Winger. Give me like rat. Round and round. It's all in with the Pennsylvania State Fair,

which we should do this year, by the way. We should go down to the racetrack at the Pennsylvania State Fair, show you how Kippy used to come up and bang. There you go. Used to know the guy, the meat guy. Really? He would give us the connect. Yeah.

Look at you. We get all these passes and free tickets, because we knew the guy that supplied the meat. We always knew a guy. The Ryan's and the Sullivan's, all no guy. You got to. Well, I'd be able to cure my coaster fever there. I would not recommend getting any of these rides, dude.

I mean, it's in the, dude, it's in. A mobile roller coaster? I got coaster fever, brother. I got to get my fix. I don't even know if it's still there, to be honest with you. Check Pennsylvania State Fair Philadelphia racetrack. Used to be in the parking lot of the racetrack, already on Street Road.

Watch the ponies trot. There you go. Go out there and try to win a knife. That's what I did. Did you ever go to the racetrack with your family? Oh, yeah. No, no, the horse racetrack. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, OK. So my stepmom's dad was big into racers. He was a big horse, big gambler, big horse racer guy. Not like he wasn't in, like, having a stable or anything. He wasn't a trainer. And uh, yeah. The Pennsylvania State Fair stopped happening in 2004. Dang, holy shit, snake eyes.

Ah, just 20 years too late. Yeah, I was a good guy. I assume they got any goldfish still left. What happened to all those giant stuffed animals? Really? That's what this says. Man, I wonder why. Someone got killed.

Communism probably if I have to guess. I'm fucking the, you know, Jesus Christ. I got two words for you, Obama. Yeah, thanks a lot. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden. Obama has two words. Four years of forced presidency. I got two words for you, Obama.

Four years of forced presidency. Don't blame it on him. Yeah, that sucks. Damn, dude. All that shit's going away. Some of the gr- that's where we fit the- That's where we fit the Pop-Elly big bubblegum. And he just sat there and chewed it

and stared at me and Pat for like an hour. One of the best laughs of my life, man. Just a Pop-Elly big chewing bazooka. It was all right. That's a good piece of business. Dude, I tell you, me and Pat left. We ran out of quarters to get the feed out of the machine. I don't care how funny you are, animals chewing gum.

Nah. All right, let's see here. This one's from Sam Boney. First time, long time. Is it garbage have a clothesline in your backyard to dry laundry? Now, I feel that it's classy to have the option because some things are nice on the clothesline.

Air dry. If you're doing it in a winter, oh, that's a tough look. It can't, that can't be your only form of drying. I'll say that. When I was a kid, we had the clothesline in the backyard. Sure. And the sheets would go on there in the summertime in the springtime.

Sure. And I tell you, you going to bed at night, smelling that fresh cut grass was really. Having an asthma attack. It was really something else. Sure. And then for a while, we had the, we, she, at the house where now she had the,

the one that went up and then came out. Like an umbrella. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's the one we had and growing up. Yeah, that's all right. Ours was in like a concrete pad with a hole and you would put the post in the hole like a, yeah, like a patio umbrella type thing.

Yeah. And that, that got overtaken by wasps too. And you had a problem. Oh yeah, those hollow aluminum. Oh yeah. I remember those things would get the hottest shit. I used to look down there and just be like, God, no spiders and this and that.

I wonder, I assume the pad still has to be in the backyard actually, now that I think about it. What, the hole? Yeah, the hole with the concrete. Sure. It might just be grown over. 100%. I haven't cut the grass in a long time down there.

Yeah, we have a couple of those floating around in the backyard that has about 12 pounds of concrete in them. Yeah, a couple of bags of satcrete. Like a German pill box. Nothing's getting through that shit. In the city, that's trashy. Yeah, because it's like hanging out on something. Yeah, it's a real Lower East Side.

Yeah, like 1920s type shit. Yeah, it's tough. Some things got to be dried. I respect that. I'm going to dry some of my teas myself. I got the little drying rack. You have that in the house? Yeah.

You do. Uh-huh. Yeah. That's like $9 on Amazon. We went with that exclusively for a while, growing up. Really? Yeah, I don't know why. Sometimes they just don't dry right.

You've got a bacon collar, cooking. Oh, it's bent. Yeah. Stinks. It's like wearing clothes. And also, if you leave it there too long, then you have like a crease in the t-shirt, you go in looking like a folding chair.

That ain't good. This one's from Arturo, the Choro, $10 home you never have on red. Let's go. This one's a little longer. Is it garbage or offer to pay for something as a favor, get show them the receipt so they know how much you paid? Context.

My girl's dad paid for new brake pads. And after he paid for them, he gave her the receipt so she doesn't forget how much they cost them. That's a face throw, where I come from. That's a full blown face throw, which I respect a face throw. I had a buddy in college, real sharp guy, came from a real sharp family. They did well, but he didn't baby the kids at all.

They all had to work and all that kind of stuff. He used to send him the receipt, not the receipt, but he would send him a copy of the check. For tuition or something? Yeah. That I get, man. You're cutting those checks, or it depends where you're going and when you're going, there are tens of thousands of dollars.

Yeah. I respect that. It used to make me feel like a piece of shit. Hey. Because I was blowing it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bad student. This kid was an RA, fucking Dean's List, or Honor Roll,

whatever you had. His dad used to send it to him. Hey, that's probably why he was a good kid. You could have used that. You'd snap into line a little bit more. Sure. Not doing all your drugs out there in Seattle, or whatever you were doing, playing sunny day with the boys.

Maybe you would have been an RA. Maybe you would have been on Dean's List. It wouldn't have mattered who my parents could have been fucking General Patton. Yep, you tell them you're dumb. Yeah, I still would have been terrible at school. Yeah. I had undiagnosed ADHD when I was,

I didn't know what was going on. You couldn't keep me for a second. And they didn't get me glasses until I was in sixth grade. I couldn't see a goddamn thing. And those were shot glasses. They were shot glasses. A pair of Ray-Bans. I looked good.

Getting my DS. Seeing the back of look cool. Back to like Ray Charles. Anything the teacher actually just go, yeah, that was it. I had no shot. Sure, I get that. Just dumb when it comes to that stuff. We were big on that.

My family was big on that. And always rounded up. What, just dumb? No. Oh. Smart street smart group. No, I'm saying labeling one of the family members. He's just dumb.

And let them be. No, we would never say that. You would just say, he just don't get it. Yeah. But yeah, yeah, but making that decision. Steve's boy, he just don't get it. Yeah. Yeah.

Harry's son, he just don't get it. That was kind of my family's approach to me until. You still don't get it. Until late in high school, I think they tried. They made an effort. I think I was over at Sylvan Learning Center for like one time. Working.

Painting the walls or something. Get this kid to a manual. Yeah, I was over there for something. I was like, I'm not going back there. That guy fucking sucked. And then in college, when I got diagnosed with ADD or whatever it was. It was just for Ritlin.

That was just drug seeking behavior. Yeah, they gave it to me. And I did it all one week in a Penn State. And then they never put me back on it. But they made me see, I had to go to a therapist for a little while for learning disabilities or whatever. But by then, it was too late. It's out the door.

Yeah. No, we would get the face throw of the amount of money spent on whatever. And that number was always rounded up. If something cost $412. It's $500. That was $500 coming right down your skull. I just spent $500 and it got damn rolling scared or whatever,

just something getting launched at you. And the worst was, if it wasn't directly to you, it was to somebody else. Like my mom, my dad going at it. I just gave them the $800 for the fucking whatever or whatever. It was $695, man. Yeah, fuck you, Sam. Yeah, jam me up real sweet.

They cut down a gravy train. Yeah. Once he got that, I was playing both ends against the middle of trying to get stuff as like the divorce. Are you got pinched? Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, it worked until about sixth or seventh grade.

Yeah, I remember you got the BB gun, the mini bike. The BB gun, the mini bike. And then he, yeah, maybe that's when Tye's got a little tough to come to think of it. It's when the phone call started. That's when we got GM'd up. He gives you his phone. Hey, I'm not here.

That was a big thing. I ain't here. Who's calling you at midnight? I don't know who it is, but I ain't here. Tell them I'm out working. You've got to stay up and man the phone like a call center. Oh, god, that goddamn. Anytime I hear a phone.

Answering the phone is Jerry. It is Jerry. That's why I can't answer a phone. I can't hear a phone. It's like PTSD of people looking for money, even with me. I mean, what EasyPass just called me, but yes, like, what an hour ago. That's crazy they called you for 25 bucks.

It might be more than 25. Well, why wouldn't it work? I don't know, not any of my problems. Here's the story. This is more hard feelings, but we'll get into it. I have EasyPass. I'm doing all right. You have it put up there?

No. There you go. I put it on the dashboard. And sometimes if I'm banging a hard left, she slides around on me and I can't find her. But it's in the car. My defense is it's in the car. Also, all right, here's the thing.

If they, this is dirt bag logic. I pay for this, I pay for the service, whatever. They bill me. When I go through it, if it doesn't pick up, they should go into their system to be like, hey, does this license plate have an active tag and it's paid up? They don't, they just mail me a bill.

So now it's on me to write a fucking check or go online and pay something? In EasyPass, mails it up, not the state of Jersey? EasyPass gets me. Then there's some local municipalities sniffing around for cash too. Sure. Okay, lower make field, never going back there.

Yeah, no shit. I don't even know where you are. I remember we drove back from Virginia one time, me and my buddy, we didn't have money for the tolls and we had to just fill out paperwork, that burned that car a couple of years later. Portion under the GWB, let's go. Yeah, that's all kooky patooky to me.

I don't probably get to the point where I end up oweing 300 bucks and I get mad and just pay it. There you go. But I'm not getting, I mean, $25, I'll go to the goddamn mattresses. I ain't got nothing better to do. Yeah, I got a, I got a- I go, it's 25 bucks, you're EasyPass.

Do the math, just search Google my license plate, it's in the system. I got a thing from some collection agency in Chicago. Chicago? Sterling and Sterling or something like that. Oh, that's a law firm. Nah, I have it on my phone, I could look. It's a collection agency, I looked it up.

For 200 bucks from Mount Sinai. I'm in there all the time, say something to me. Damn you on the show, pull me to the sides. Yeah, fuck you, you're turning me in for 200? Yeah. How much money I fucking put in your pocket over the last couple of years? With all the tests and the doctor's visits

and this and that and the other thing? You're fucking ratting me out to somebody outside the family? Yeah. Them trying to call me for 200 bucks? Get the fuck, collection, it should be, it's gotta be in the thousands. Can't be hitting somebody up for 45 bucks, 25 bucks. 25 bucks, EasyPass, the bridge is 16 alone.

They're getting it out of New York, they're breaking my stones for 25 bucks? You're in the hospital going, I don't tell anybody about the bad shit you tell me. Yeah, no shit. My mouth shut. I know that IV is just ginger ale, you think I'm fucking stupid?

Fucking bastards. It's crazy. Well, we gotta wrap it up, gang. Gang, we love you to death. Love yous. Come see us on the road there, sign up for the Patreon. Yeah, we're all over the road, the tickets are moving fast, some cities by the time this comes out might be gone.

So get them, don't snooze on that, cause they're going quick. And we'll be adding a second leg and a third leg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if your city's not on there, we're coming to see you baby. Oh yeah. Stay trashy toward 2023, let's go. Peace. Peace.