Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Mike Vecchione Returns!

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with old pal Mike Vecchione! The boys answer your garbage questions. Its a fun one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys.  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?  

Hey, Texas, New York, Philadelphia, take the jolly ranchers out of your ears and listen up because the keep it moving tour is coming your way. Yeah guys, it's a stand up show when we play AYG with the audience, it's a good time. September 30th, we're gonna be in Long Island. And then, what are we doing? We're going home for cheese steaks.

Whiz wit baby, October. Cheese steaks and vengeance. October 27th, we're gonna be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia, get those tickets, they're gonna move fast. I'm telling you, yeah, do it, yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians

are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast, this is Are You Garbage. It's a little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they grew up to be classy. Yeah. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day down here in Toody's basement. She's very excited to have our guest back with us today. Said she was in the audience of a Tony and Tina's wedding back in the day. Years ago. South Jersey. Good looking guy in the cast,

they went out and had a drink, sparks flew, it could be a misconnection, I don't know. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He's an international businessman. He did his first hostile takeover at the age of nine. So do me a favor, show him a little respect and give it up for Kevin James Ryan.

Hey gang, happy to be here. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate review, rate review, subscribe on iTunes, full of video available on YouTube and as you know, those numbers are. When you point I talk. Yeah.

True to roof. True to fucking roof. YouTube's cooking and then obviously patreon.com slash Are You Garbage is the greatest website ever made. You can sign up to get bonus content, episodes of hard feelings, live streams, the whole fucking nine yards, get involved people. And how about a nice quick shout out

to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man. He makes us all look good. First bunt of the night right there. Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin, Toby McMullin everybody. What up? Yeah.

It's from MoneyBall. Yeah. When you point to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I've seen the film. Okay, I'm sorry. Gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back with us again today.

He has a very funny standup comedian, podcaster and actor. He has a brand new podcast coming out called Macaroni Rascals with our good pal, Greg Stone. And he is going to be filming a brand new hour, October 23rd at Governors in Long Island. Do us a favor, give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Mike Vecchione.

Yeah. Thank you guys for having me back. Of course, buddy. Of course, buddy, thank you for coming. It's great. Happy to have you. It's great to be here. It's really, and I'll tell you what,

I didn't shower before this. Why not? I had the opportunity. Because are you garbage? You're just coming in. I came in as garbage. I want to come in as garbage and work my way to a civilian. Have you worked out, have you worked out today?

No. You haven't? Uh-uh. Because you to me seem like an up at dawn going for a run guy. I used to see you running around Astoria. Yes. I would live in a city and he would be fucking,

he'd be looking like he's trying to make wait for the match this weekend. That's what I'm saying, man. I feel like you're up at five, cold shower, cold coffee. Well, this is, I'm not up at five. I'm still a comic. But I moved, you guys both know I moved. Sure.

Yes. So I moved into the city. I didn't know you're in the city. You're a city, Becky holds a city guy now. I'm a city guy now. Look at him. So if I talk down to you guys, that's what it's about. Bridge and tunnel, move up.

Brunch every day, baby. You know, you burrow guys. I live on the island too. Oh, do you? All the way up town in the nosebleeds, but I'm on it. All right. Well, I'll give you a little bit more leeway, but fully. I'm sorry, I'm going to have to,

I'm going to have to. We cannot hang out and get a glass of wine together. We're not going to do brunch. So I move into this new neighborhood and it's a choice between I have a gym options because I realized, I was like, oh, maybe I could just work out at home. But during the pandemic, I realized, oh, that's not a thing.

That's not really going to be possible. So Planet Fitness, I don't know who sponsors you guys. So I'm sorry if I'm just bleep this out. Planet Fitness, which is like, you can use every Planet Fitness in the country for $3 a month. Sure. And then there's Equinox, which is very expensive.

What's that going, like $200 a month? What is that? $2.35. He knows because he's in. He's in. Because are you there? Sorry to make the decision. And I said, you know, invest in yourself.

A manhattan living at Equinox guy? Somebody successful tweeted that, invest in yourself. Sure. And so I decided to pull a trigger on it. Oh my god, holy shit. I thought I knew you. Oh, I smelled a little self-tanner on you. The bronze are on the kids.

Frequency, it's probably from the steam room. Yeah, have you been in the eucalyptus room for a little while? Have an espresso in the eucalyptus room? Wow. I have an espresso in the steam room. They have an espresso set in the steam room, actually. I don't think any of our guests have ever

belonged to Equinox. Of course they didn't. They're trash people. They're garbage. And I'm talking to you. You're a garbage person. Wow. Doesn't that come with your own peloton

that you just take home with you? You roll out every night? Peloton's kill children. But I think it's worth it. I did a whole thing on my podcast where the peloton gets a bad rap because it goes after you. Tries to kill your family. But it strengthens you.

If your machine tries to kill you and then you go out in the world, what could hurt you? Wait, is it killing people? I don't know the story. It is killing people. Look at the news once in a while, Kevin. Jesus. You got to tune in.

I mean, how far uptown do you live? All the way. All the way uptown. As high as it goes. I went and pulled the trigger on it. And now it's this weird thing where it's like, I have to go. I have to go every day. I go every day to either.

Even if I'm not like today, I'm not going to really work out. I'll stretch steam and shower because I have to use the facility. Wow. And I signed up for a class yesterday. That's about $10 a day or something. Or it's like $8 a day it comes out to. You'd be missing out.

Yes. Wow. Well, and they have all these classes. The real reason is like, OK, well, probably wouldn't be worth it unless you have access to all the classes. Yoga, all kinds of fitness classes. And they're free. They're free.

You've got all that stuff. They're free. You just have to sign up. You have to get a spot in them. Yeah, you have to get a spot. So I got a spot. And now I'm just signing up for classes. I don't even know what they are.

I just went yesterday. And then this guy, it was like a MediCon. I was like, a MediCon? I don't know what this is. But I was like, I'm almost, I'm going to make it. So I went and I signed up. And then it was crazy hot. And I'm in decent shape now.

Great shape. I'm fasting, and I've lost weight and all that stuff. So I'm in pretty good shape now. Ninja training, how hard could that be? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm going to have a protein bar in a smoothie. I'll be in in a minute, guys. It's basically what it was.

And I was like, I was blown away afterwards. I went right to the instructor. I'm like, look, it's my first time. He's like, weights, this, that, over there. And we did, it was an aerobic weight workout. And I am a mess today. Really? I walked over here to kind of stretch out from my place.

That's, yeah. I like the fucking going in, taking the schvitz, doing the tanner, and bouncing out of there. I get that. I heard the facilities are really nice. Showers the whole nine yards. It's really nice. And then there's a lobby also where, and not a lobby,

it's a lounge where, you know. It's a bottle service, you know what I mean? Who's DJing tonight? It's a, it's a what? DJ Sweetgreens is on. It's a lounge where I can write or whatever afterwards also. So I just got to put earphones in because the music is pretty. Now listen, you're now, you're rubbing elbows with the Manhattan

Elite now. You're an equinox. Well, I'll tell you who goes there. Who? You want to know who goes there? Kind of surprised me. Did you ever see that Duke LaCrosse documentary, 3530? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

About that one. About the Duke, like, they were kind of faceless to me. I know that they got wrongly accused. They got railroaded, yeah. Yeah, railroaded. But I watched the 3530, and I'm looking at the guys on the team. And they're like elite level athletes and elite level intellects, you know what I mean?

Like, I never, I just, you know, I never got into that. I wasn't that elite of an athlete or elite of an intellect. So I wouldn't have gotten in there. But that's who is at this place. A lot of confidence over here. I'm just, now I'm letting you know I'm being honest about who I am. Thanks for clearing that up, buddy.

We really thought you were a Blue Devil's material. I begged you for an astronaut, to be honest with you. This is going to shock you guys, but I'm mostly blue collar. Oh, really? I mean, I thought you got the Tony and Tina scholarship. Tony and Tina scholarship, yes. But that's who is there, Duke like Duke Harvard, like those types of guys.

Those who are like finance guys and stuff. It's like, it's the elite. It's the elite. It's like the social, it's the gym social club for people in Manhattan. And now also too, I think with those like fancy things that they have, we were talking about this with country clubs the other day, because my brother joined a country club

and then like, we were all there in the pool hanging out and like, they're all so rich they don't use the pool. Like because they all have their own pools and stuff. So it's like, we're garb, like we were like the garbage family there. You guys have a raft in there. Yeah, exactly. I'm doing can openers and stuff.

Brought our own grill. Do you, are other people using the lounge and stuff like that? Or are you the only guy in the lounge? No, there's a couple people, but it's not that full. The lounge isn't that full. But it gets. Mike's in an armful of fucking clip bars. Has anybody asked you for your ID yet?

Why have you been there? So would you excuse me? No, no one has asked me for my ID yet. I guess there are guys. I guess I do. Sir, you're a member here, right? Hey, buddy, the HVAC is downstairs. Where's that janitor writing jokes?

Has anyone thrown you when he used towels? That's pretty funny. It's pretty funny. Thank you. I think what Kip is saying is like, do the real, real rich not even go in and use the eucalyptus this thing and work out right away. I'll tell you what the real rich do that I really like a lot.

No one talks. I love that. There's a sign in the locker room that says, feeling chatty on your, take your phone, take it outside. You're also no selfies in the mirror. Like they said, there's a sign that says no selfies in the, yeah, it might be only the women's locker room, I don't know, but.

I don't know, but that's where I change. I like the fact that there's no talking, but everybody's civil. If you need to like get a ride, like whatever, even on the gym floor, it's like, hey, there's not a lot of talking. And I went to the plant of fitness to try that out too. And it's like, there's a guy.

It gets night and day. There's a guy living on the leg machine basically. So it's like, I'm on. Hey buddy, when you're done, I gotta go to bed. One too many pairs of jeans in there. You know what I mean? Working out in jeans is a bad loss. It's a bad sign.

And there's a lot of that. It looks like you're just training to be a criminal. One, you look the other way. But two, it's like, what are you, getting ready for a video game? And also like on that, there was this, you know, the Smith machine with the wrap. No.

With it. I tried, I really didn't want to lie to you. It got me off with the knees. Well, there's a Smith machine. There's like one or two of them in the gym. It's not like a rotisserie chicken machine or something. Yeah, I tried to pretend like I knew, but I didn't. It's that thing where it's on a rack.

It's a machine, but it's, you can bench on it. You can squat on it. Yeah, yeah, it's like a guide kind of thing. Yeah, it's a guide. So a guide is a good way to describe it. So there's only like one or two of them in the gym. And then the last time I was at, when I went to plant of fitness that one time,

guy living on the leg machine. And then there was a guy just, he, I don't know if he was doing a podcast, but he had like a full conversation with another guy for like an hour on that machine. It's like no one else could get there. Sure, sure. Holy shit.

Oh, that's so funny. So I pulled a trigger on it. And I'm starting to feel, you know, I don't know. Does it make you feel good? Yeah, I do affirmations and stuff. I do affirmations to feel like wealth driven affirmations. And I don't care if your fans think it's corny or something. No, buddy, I love it.

But being at that gym makes me feel. You gotta feel good. We're healthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know for sure. Yeah. That's awesome. I love that. This is a perfect segue into the questions.

Cause this is, so guys, as you know, we, when you join, we'll answer, when you join Patreon, we'll answer your garbage question on the air. This is a perfect say. I had it already pinned to be the first question to ask you. And this is fantastic. This is from Ted.

Do you shower in the gym after your workout or do you shower at home? Equinox? I don't shower at home anymore. Really? I really don't. I shower better at Equinox. I always, the showers are not,

the showers are really nice. And I, what I do is I take a hot steam and I push myself to stay in there to really sweat it out. And then take a cold, cold shower afterwards. And then it makes you feel invigorated. You feel alive. You do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people do drugs or something to like, that is the, I go the opposite way. I start depriving myself of oxygen and stuff. Really, that does work. It does the same thing as drugs. I used to go to the Russian. I can't do drugs anymore.

The Russian Turkish baths a lot down in the East Village. That was the same thing. You're in the sauna and then you hop in that cold pool. You feel fucking alive. Everything starts cooking. Synapses are firing. Synapses. That's rich guy thinking right there.

I'll tell you that. But I realized that when I was doing, when I did a hot yoga, I did a hot yoga in Queens for years and you come out and it's like, oh my God. And then after you take a shower and then walk out, I was like, I feel high. Yes, you for it.

You feel high. But you're feeling high on regular oxygen once you've been deprived of that in a hot room for an hour and a half. Fucking hard nose over here. Did you ever hold your breath for a real long time? I do a breathing practice first thing. What do you do, four, seven, eight?

What are you? I do the Wim Hof breathing five rounds of tumo breathing. Stares at himself in the mirror. He's dropping Wim Hof. A guy knows what he's talking about. Stares at himself in the mirror for 25 minutes. Whoever blinks first loses. Make a move, make a move.

He thinks for his gun real quick. All right, this one's just funny. This is from Gene. Have you been electrocuted as an adult? Electrocuted. Because if you are, you're probably poking your nose around somewhere it shouldn't be. Electrocuted as an adult.

Or have you been electrocuted even as a kid? No, I'd have to say no. Yeah. I would have to say no. But an interesting story about my father. My father was on a ladder. Is he available? My dad is dead.

But I feel like I should communicate this for him. He was painting on a roof and he got close to some wires or something and the electricity went through the paint. The paint is a conductor. Whoa. He really electrocuted him. He fell off the ladder and cracked his head. Jesus.

He was saying it was when I was small. I remember it though. I remember he had a big scar on his head. Damn. You know? I stuck a paper clip in a nightlight once when I was alive. Really?

Yeah. And I got shocked at my adult. You know? I never knew that when you put the bulb into the light that there's a little flat thing in there that touches. That's what got me. That touches.

That's what got me. And dude, that shit was on and I stuck my finger in there and the thing made the connection. God damn. It was like I got bit by a blue crab. Dude, I yelled something bit me. My mom came into the living room like what the fuck? Oh, your mom was there?

I was like 11. I started crying. Like something bit me. She's like what? She thought there was a bear in the house. You apparently thought lamps were alive. What the fuck? It literally, it felt like a mousetrap.

You put your van when you're not expecting it. I was looking for the switch or something. You guys are really curious kids. It's like you guys didn't listen. So my parents were like don't stick your finger in there. You never did that? You never did paper clip? But there used to be, now I never did that.

What? There used to be, I was obedient as a kid. I just did what I was told. I just did what I was told. I was a Labrador for my childhood. For a sense of obedience. Where's Mike? He's upstairs doing his push-ups and going to bed.

I was a 6'30. It was very obedient because with Italians it's, I mean respect got thrown up in my face a lot. Like you have respect. You have respect for your, that's why my friends who are Jews, it really makes me laugh because they're just, they're asking questions constantly.

They're constantly, and that's just, that's like their culture. Our culture is you shut up and do what you're told. Keep your head down, yeah. There was Catholics very the same thing. Well, do you trust your parents? Do you trust your t-, do you trust your co-? Just do what you're told then.

It's all based on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep your head down and work. Yeah. That reminds me. The last time we saw each other was at a wedding. Right. And dude, he is this such a t-man.

You were like, you were like somebody stepped in. You didn't say a word really. Hello, how you doing? You sat down. You sat there and meticulously ate your meal. Eyes forward, chilling out. Dude, at one point I saw him on the dance floor. He was sitting in a chair.

Like, dude, he really does mind his P's and Q's. I love it. I mind my own business. Yeah. But no, you sit, I'm not. That's why he's never been electrocuted. That really helps with the electrocuted. I stopped drinking.

I stopped, I started fasting during the pandemic because I was overweight and whatever. So I started doing all that, but that wedding was the first time. I was like, everybody's going to be drinking. Everybody's like, just sitting it. You didn't booze. That was the first big test.

Yeah, it was the first big test. But Katie had a couple drinks and she's having a good time. So I was like, but I had a really, I had a blast. It was like sitting next to an uncle at a wedding. You could tell he cared about you. He gave me the, has everything going, going good? Like, yeah, everything's going good.

He's like, good, good, good. His car just bleeped. I put my hand on your head. Let me know if you need any money. Can I tell you a story about that though? Did you guys go hiking on that? Cause it was an upstate. I saw you right after the hike.

Remember we bumped into each other. He was chugging waters. He was sitting next to the water. Were you with Graham Kay? No. Oh, that group? No, I didn't go hiking. I just bumped into you.

I went to get a coffee. Are you crazy? I was at the pool. I was smoking cigs in the pool. That's pretty great. I had Uber Eats on the way. That's pretty great. That's trash.

You guys are living up to your name even in your spare time. Also before you finished, we were out on the back deck. I don't know if you remember, you started fucking crushing me. I was like, all right, like he came out. We were all talking and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna grab a drink or whatever.

And like I like stood up and he goes, oh, what in front of everybody's like, is this not a garbage enough for you, Kevin? And I'm like, everybody started laughing at me. He's just, he's got a thousand tags. So he just fucking go. I just sat back down. I'm like, all right, I'm like, I'm taking this one.

Like a nail gun on your own porch. You've taken the podcast world by storm. And I'm not gonna let you get away with it at a wedding. Um, Kip, let's talk about bespoke post and that box of awesome thing. Love them fellas, the guys and gals over there. Quick story for you.

My eyes are a little, a little hazy because I was out when I was on a little nature walk with the lady. Did you? Brought my bespoke post hammock with us. Had a little spot right there by the river. It was absolutely fantastic. Fall coming in. Yeah.

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But the hiking, I have to tell you this story. This is really funny. I'm dating a very funny comic, Katie Hannigan. Yes. 100%. And she goes, I really want to go hiking. It's for the endorphins, all that stuff. And I go, that's cool.

And we're staying in a very nice... You've never tried holding your breath for an hour. It saved some time. I'll get the ice baths ready. She refuses to do the breathing. I've tried many times. Anyway, we're staying in this nice... We're staying by a lake, this nice outdoor...

Beautiful property. Beautiful place. We've talked about it a lot on the pod, yeah. Okay, well she goes, I want to go hiking. I go, cool, let me just finish this coffee and eat something. And then let's go hiking. Because I had a nice beautiful breakfast there. And I had some coffee.

So I'm like, cool, let's go. And she goes, no, no, no, we can't... I thought hiking was just walking outside while being aware of nature. I thought that's what hiking was. That was my working knowledge of hiking. She goes, no, we have to drive to where we hike. So I go, okay.

So we drive, not that far, and we get there. And then we're on a mountain. And I go, what are we doing? She goes, yeah, this is hiking. I go, no, we're climbing a mountain. She goes, no, it's hiking here. I go, no, this is climbing a mountain. She goes, well, we're hiking up a mountain.

I'm like, don't improv. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called space to space. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're climbing up a mountain. So we got into an argument on the mountain. And then I was like, well, I'm gonna, I'll just Google it, you know? And there's no Wi-Fi.

Yeah, we were out and don't have any Wi-Fi. So I complained. I'm like, this mountain has no Wi-Fi. I'm gonna give this mountain a very low rating. Yeah, I saw him afterwards in the snack bar. He was pounding water. I'd only fill up like those like six ounce cups. So we slamming those.

And he's like, did you go hiking? I'm like, fuck no hiking. I got suckered into that before too. I went to Hawaii. He's like, oh, we're gonna go to the waterfall. Wow, nice. You said, no, there's not gonna be a waterfall in the neighborhood.

I mean, that's an excursion. I wasn't expecting it in the mall or anything like that. But I didn't think it was gonna be like, I'm hanging on the rocks and doing that. Yeah, hikes are. Take a hike with a hike. I'll tell you that right now. Isn't there a hike on Flatland, though?

It's a nice, nice, nice, wall. No, a hike, I think, implies a trail and elevation changes. Oh, okay. I think. I don't know. What's a hike? What do you got, Tebow?

The activity of going for long walks, especially in the country or woods. Okay, that we were in the country or the woods. 100%. I don't know. Plus throw the mountain bullshit in there. Yeah, the mountain. The elevation is really what got me.

Cause then I was furious with her and I stormed off and it's hard to storm off when you're going vertically. Your screams are echoing around the woods. I hate you. And then do you guys remember that they were like, oh, there's bears around. But if you just yell at them, it's fine. Yeah, one rolled through the cocktail party.

Yeah, like really? Yeah, 20 yards from where we were all smoking cigs, like out by that, where everybody was smoking cigars and stuff. It just, you saw like the fucking, it was kind of like Jurassic Park when you would see just like the bushes moving and stuff like that. And then like the kitchen staff came out

and was like, get out of here, get out of here. And then they were like, ah, everybody's fine. They just left it at that. Wow. I mean, I went inside for sure. It's probably just some dishwasher. They do that to give the tourists a throw. Let's go give these city slickers.

They give their money's worth. Did you guys get hammered? The first night, I mean, yeah, the first night we got pretty banged up, stayed out late. The second night, I was sitting in the, the second night we were sitting, we were the same night. We were sitting outside that bar,

you know, like that whatever, the road house. I was sitting next to him, same spot, same everything as the night before. And he did the same joke to this woman. She walked out with her kids, a good joke. She walked out with her baby. He goes, hey, how do you two know each other? That's really, God, I love that, dude.

Oh, I love that. That's one that really just gets you. It's great. You know what I mean? I love that. So I don't need to know each other. What the fuck are you doing? You're saying the language's gonna be using it now.

Oh my God, that's great. You son of a bitch. So he does it the first Friday night. Kills, like people jumping off the balcony. I love that. Kills, the second night, the same woman, and baby walks out. He's just drunk and all fucked up.

How do you two know each other? I was like, I see, we're in reruns here. I'm going to the fucking night. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's great. I literally go, I'm leaving. He goes, ah, how are you doing? I think it was a different kid, all right?

I mean, there was only two kids there. You know what I love to do if I see a woman who's pregnant? I walk up and go, who got you in trouble? It's a very 50s thing to say to somebody who got you in trouble. Who did you dirty? Father, know about this? So I had a great time at the wedding.

The wedding was a lot of fun. It was a good time. We've talked about it. You made me think, we've talked about it. We've been talking about it for like up two months. The wedding, because we talked about it before. We had KCB on the whole thing. It was really fun.

Man, that's great. I went to, eating now is the new drinking for me. Eating, I really get it. Are you going out for like nice things or do you cook and what are you doing? No, I'm fasting. So it's like I'll have limited meals. So when I do get to eat, it's like drinking.

It's like, ah, this is the best. It's like taking your edge off the floor. What's it called? Your vice, per se. All right, this one's from Chris Scott. Anyone in your family a flat earther? No, I don't think my family knows what that is. Because my family doesn't know all the conspiracy.

They're like, what? Didn't we solve this a long time ago? They don't even, that's a thing. That's how I'm not into technology, my family. That's good. They don't know all the conspiracies and all that stuff. Man, that's great. All right, this one's from Alex Tanello.

How yellow is your pillow? You got some stains on there, Mikey? No, I'll tell you the truth. That's single guys shit, dude. I don't understand the reference. How yellow is it? I pee it? No, you sweat and then it leaves like a sweat ring.

Okay. You take the pillowcase off and then it has like crazy stains on the actual pillow. I would have to assume yours growing up was probably like that. Yeah, I had a- No, he was very obedient. I had a beat up pillow growing up

because we didn't buy anything new. I felt like buying new things is like a, that's a new, relatively a new thing to me because we didn't, we didn't buy new stuff. I got to agree. It's the same thing of like just going and buying stuff. I'm like, oh, I can just go buy this. They have, then my family was like, well, let's see.

Right, right, right. Do we know a guy? Is Aunt Patty getting one type of thing? I'm like, let's just go get the bike or whatever. Mikey, did you have an actual comforter when you were a kid or was he just an opened up sleeping blanket or sleeping bag? No, I had a, I had a very just standard-

I'm hanging upside down actually. Standard military, just a Navy SEAL bed. I don't know, standard- No, standard issue foot locker. No, I shared a room with my brother until like probably two weeks ago. No. Older brother or younger?

Older. So I shared a room with my brother and we had bunk beds at first. But I gotta say, when I was single, I've had girlfriends in and out, but I- Yeah, they changed the whole game. But yeah, I would just, I'm not a big change the sheets guy.

Right. You know, once in a while maybe. What's up, cause I'm with you. I'm sure Katie is though. What date or like, how big of a- I didn't hear what you said. I said, I'm sure Katie is though. Kate, that's what I was gonna get.

She's like, she'll change it every week. And I go, dude, like come on, we can't. She's like, she, so she just does it. She just does it now, cause I'll like complain about it. So yeah, that's the change. Like me before, I would, I mean, it would go- Push it months? I mean, long time.

Months. Months, yeah. I mean, one time when I was living uptown in Inwood, like I think it was a year. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't change anything. I bet it has like a deep winter smell in there. Oh my God, it was-

I didn't smell or anything. It just- Smells like a cabin. I didn't have the attention to do it, but I just, it's not something I thought about, but she does it like every week now. Sometimes it's nice when they're all worn in like that. Yeah.

Yeah. Not a cold winter's night. You feel like scrooge tucked in there. The germs really are comforting after a while. Changing the bed sheets now, even like when, like if my wife's like, hey, can you help me? I feel, it takes me back to when I was like five. My mom was like, make the bed.

I feel like a child. Yeah. Is that when you weren't electrocuting yourself? But what I was saying- I'm not electrocuting myself. I help change the sheets. What I was saying is it's nice that they do that because it elevates you.

Like, you know, it elevates your game. Like you can't have a yellow pill now. When you were a single guy in your own place. Yeah. Those pills are being changed out on a monthly basis. Mine's yellow-ish for sure. Different kinds of fabric softener and air freshener. Right, right, right.

It's actually pretty nice. It is pretty nice. But I did have a yellow pill now that I think about it. Because I never bought a new pillow. No. Never bought a new pillow. If I wasn't changing the sheets, I certainly never bought a new pillow.

Yeah, you're not just getting a new pillow and keeping it moving. Yeah. So I'm a little bit garbage there. How many pillows do you do? I think I don't know if we ask you this. Oh, I like two because I like to hold one. Yeah, there we go.

Yeah. That's garbage. Is that garbage or is that just being vulnerable? Yeah, being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is garbage. We're a Stelik around here, Mike. I do the same thing I hold on to that thing like a fucking search and rescue guy.

And then you get your girl going, why don't you hold me like that? It's like, it doesn't functionally. It doesn't geometrically work. It's nice and cool and fluffy. It doesn't have a pulse. It doesn't judge me. Yeah, the pillow doesn't judge me.

The pillow doesn't care if I snore, honey. You didn't break my balls for five hours did I? Do you snore? Are you a snorer? No. No. Okay. I sleep quiet.

I can imagine. Jesus Christ. With my eyes open. Like a Sicilian assassin. With a blade in my eyes open. I'm ready for anything. Just a fedora pulled down over his eyes in a chair. So I'm like, he's propped up.

With a cigar burning in the estuary. Well, if I'm sleeping, who's on watch? I don't think our relationship will work if I did snore because Katie has to sleep with complete silence. My wife's kind of the same way. She has to sleep complete silence. So I have to put earplugs in because I got to sleep to something lulling me to sleep.

So earplugs are like AirPods. You sleep with earplugs. Yeah. Well, I sleep with like a AirPods. You got headphones on in bed? Yeah. Yeah, headphones in bed. That's pretty crazy.

And are they wired or no? No, no wire. Do they stay in? You probably don't toss and turn a lot. You're probably. It's an old disc man. You're probably a straight up and down kind of guy. I'm a straight up and down.

Well, I'll go to a side once in a while but mostly they'll stay in. But I got to say something about like sleeping quiet. Like, you know, I like to sleep quiet but sometimes things wake you up. But he's on ambush. They're so hilarious. Like things like we were in Queens

and we're sleeping and it's like Saturday morning. It was like 9 a.m. His chainsaw is so right outside. Sometimes it's comically loud. It's comically loud. It feels like they're in the room. You're like, what the fuck? It feels like the guy was in the room.

It was really something. So I'm like kind of waking up going, oh, this is, you know, I'm disturbed by it but this is so loud. It's funny. She did not find the same amusement in it. And it's like, what do you do? Do you go out and confront a guy with a chainsaw?

No, not at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're kind of screwed at that point. Do you set an alarm in the morning? You just wake up when you wake up. Yeah, I wake up when I wake up. Love that. Yeah, it's pretty good.

But I have to like pee in the morning. So I usually, that usually wakes me up about five hours in. And then if I have nothing, I'll go back to sleep. If I do have something that I'll just get up. Dude, I hate that so much because I'm starting to have that too. That's the first thing I got to do. And I know that I lay there for at least an hour or two

fighting it off where I'm not like relaxed sleeping. But I'm like worried about that because I wake up in like a bad mood. And you got a fucking sleepy eye to the toilet. I used to push it, but now I just go get it done with now. Get back in bed. And I stole my wife's eye mask. It's like weighted and it's got lavender in it.

Dude, that puts me off for, I don't know. I don't know if I'm allergic to it or if I'm slipping into a coma. I go off for another like three, four hours with that thing on. That's awesome. And you go right back to sleep. Dude, you put this, it's like pressure. It's like heavy.

It's like beaded kind of. And it's just fucking, you're out, dude. Wow. Out. How do people ever sleep in caves? I don't know. You know what I mean? Without all of ours, we have all these different things

that we use to sleep. No AC, no AC, I'm out. The room has to be cold too. I would have jumped off the first locomotive bridge I could find. I'm still pumping my AC now. It's on 62, right on me. 62.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. To get to bed, yeah. I keep it on 70. 70. Oh man, this guy's old school. What are you, a homeowner?

Who's touching the thermostat? Katie, don't even look at that, okay? It's brisk in there though. But sleep is, I mean, it is really important. Very, very important. It is. I don't want to bore your fans here because they probably don't get any sleep.

Man, that's so funny. All right. Let's see, this is from Dan D, first time question. Ever take a day off from school or for a religious holiday that you didn't practice? A religious holiday. And you lied and said, hey, I'm Jewish. I'm taking off a rush.

You're showing us off though. No, but we did. I don't know if Vecchione could pass. Vecchione could pass for Jewish. I'm sympathetic. Sure, yeah, yeah. I did it fast the other day when it was. For Russia shot?

Was that Russia shot? Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur, yeah. Yeah, so I'm in solidarity. Did you really? Or then it also fell in line with your fast? It fell in line with the fast. But I was like, I'll do it with the Jews.

That's great. Yeah, we could do it. Nah, he quinox was closed. Yeah. There's a, what's the wooden thing they put on the door? Mazzozo. There's a Mazzozo because the person who owns. The building.

No, the person who owns the apartment is Jewish. So they kept it. And we just kept it on? Yeah, I got one on. Of course, yeah. 90% of apartments in New York have a Mazzozo on the door. Because in case the angel of death decides to come. Is that what it is?

I don't know what it is. It's like less than or something. I thought it was lamb's blood. I don't know exactly what it does, but I know you leave it there. You leave it there. It gives you a nice cozy vibe. I'm not a religious guy, but I'm not taking something there.

It's there, it's there. You leave it up or the, if you take it down, the rank goes up. I worked at a Greek place one time and they had the evil eye hanging down by the window. And I didn't know what that was. And I'm over there like cleaning it and touching it and moving it.

I'm like, who is this dude? He's like, keeps the evil spirits. And I was like, I'll be in the fucking kitchen. But that's what the Italian horn does. Is that what it is? Yeah, it keeps the evil spirits away. Do you have one? No.

I'm not a Jewelry guy. I'm not a Jewelry guy. You were given one at some point in your life though. Yeah, I was given a bunch. I just, it never, I would always like wrestle with my bro. Like be wrestling with cousins or brother, whatever. And it'd always get yanked and broken. And it just never,

or I could never get into the routine of putting it on every morning. Yeah, that's what I forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like, and then I'm like, oh, this is a choice that I, yeah, it's weird. But the skip that I did, how about my junior year we had a senior skip day

and no one was going to school, not juniors or seniors, but it was a senior skip day. And I told my mother, I'm like, I'm taking off. And I made the mistake. And I thought, you know, we're all on the same page. Now basically an adult. And she goes, now you're going to school.

And I go, yeah, but no one's going to be there. And she goes, it doesn't matter. It's school day, you're going. My mom's a teacher. So she goes, you're going. You think she would know the idea? It's like a, I'm like, no one is going to be there. No one is going to be there, mom.

It's a little reward. I mean, I'm not my senior year. My senior year I learned from this. This is also junior year. This is junior year. So, but I'm like, no one is going to be there. No one, not juniors or seniors. May sophomores and freshmen will be there,

but not juniors or seniors. What am I, a nerd? Yeah, what am I, a nerd? She goes, you're going. So I went and no one was there. You were like the only guy in my class. Well, I mean, the class was like, you know, you go to class and they were like,

you could just do a puzzle or something like that. It was a complete waste, but I did go because I didn't want to be, you know, I did with mine. You didn't want to disappoint your mother or run a beating guy. A beating kid. To a puzzle. And then the next year, we had senior skip day

and I just, we just went, we got beer and went to a lake and just got obliterated. It was great. That's a good time. It was really fun. I remember having such a good time. Yeah. Yeah.

Better than the puzzles, huh? It was better than the puzzles. I think- It was better than listening. Public school kids, we get a pretty nice dose of that. Well, you don't have to really do that. Like you don't have to really fake. They give you all for like every,

for everybody's different holidays. I also think it depends on where you're at. Like we grew up in Philadelphia, there's a large Jewish community, same with New York and Boston. But I think if you're in the middle of Minnesota, I think you're getting off the on support. The kids at Omaha are riding the Ramadan co-dates.

We're in the age of the internet. So everybody is connected to everybody's conscious of everything I feel like. Well, I used to work, my last day job was at, or one of my last day jobs was at a law firm. And they would say, cause it was also, this was my first time of like, hey, back in the day, I would work places and was like,

hey, if you're Jewish, you can take all for this. If you're Christmas, you can take all for that type thing. But you were expected to be there otherwise, if you didn't observe. And they kind of knew everybody, but this was like the first, it was like New York, was a big wall firm and you weren't allowed to ask. Like if you were just like, hey, I'm observing,

they would go, okay, like they weren't allowed to push back. That's like COVID now. That's like COVID now. You wanna get out of something, all you gotta do is call and say, hey, I got a little fever. I don't think it's COVID, but I got a little fever.

That's it, you'll never hear about it again. Wow. You got that get out of jail free card for anything moving forward. Don't you think there's some abuse with the businesses now? They're like, our new COVID hours, 11 to 11, 15. Dude, I tried right now and I'm like, dude. Come on, dude, you just don't wanna,

you just don't wanna. They're using that as an excuse. Yeah. Dude, I called the post office because they like left a package or whatever. And it was like due to, due to, you know, the COVID protocols or, you know, we're behind. I'm like, dude, you suck before this.

Don't use this as a fucking cop out. You were tanking it before. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, that not religious holidays, but a senior skip. It's nice in public school. You get into October to Jewish holidays.

You're only in there like two, three days. That was my favorite. They even got Halloween. Yeah. Start knocking it out. Like, all right, here we go. Here we go. Couple of days in November.

Do Thanksgiving. Well, you play football, right? Yes. Yeah, I play football too. So it's like you're, you start two weeks before, you know, training camp starts like two weeks before school. So you're already kind of in double days and all that stuff.

I like that. I like that in college too. That felt good being there a couple of weeks before getting, you're getting grounded, troughing off to work certain cafeteria people. But did you, did you ever do the thing where it's like, you know, I did it with football and it's wrestling even more so,

but you're just, because one's a fall sport, one's a winter sport, so they go back to back and you're going one right into the other. Yeah. So it's like, you're tired. Yeah. And you just want to go home after school, like everybody else.

And there would be a thing where in our school, you'd walk out and people would walk to their cars and then you'd walk to the locker room, you'd split off. And you would see the people walk into their cars and I would be like, I just want to go home. Going off. I don't feel like I want to practice. Smoke weed, hang out with girls, do fun stuff.

And a burning lit walk into the cars. See you later, Doris. Yeah, just go and, and, but you, I always, you always had to go the other way. I always had to go to practice. Yeah. That's why I love the spring to this day. I love the spring.

I'm not a big Christmas guy. No responsibilities. Christmas, cause we used to have Christmas tournaments and you just have to cut weight. So I could never really enjoy Christmas. I still love Christmas. I was never a big Christmas guy. I mean, I, I get what it is and I get that.

But I, everybody was overeating and everything. I was like, uh. Merry Christmas, pop. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. You all just exchange money envelopes. They go to dinner.

But the spring is like when I could like, oh, I'm going to go home. I'm going to hang out with friends. I'm going to like, uh, it's great. Nice relaxing. Here's a question for Mike Beckingham that I have. Since we've been talking about it, it's been talked about a lot here on this program.

Let's get out. Let's go home. Who do you think you can take me? Let's do it. What is your favorite flavor of the beverage known as Gatorade? This is a big one. The very different.

I cannot foresee him siding with you idiots. Of course not. I don't think he's even going to know. If he does, I'm leaving. Okay. Can I say something first that I don't drink Gatorade? I know it. I don't drink it because it's too much

sugar and stuff. Sodium and all that stuff. But if you, before, that gets a ruled as a reason. The lemon. I got that yes and back. Yeah, because I- Lemon, yeah. From before.

I don't drink Gatorade. I don't drink Gatorade. I got a juicer and I was like, oh, but you did when you were a kid. You remember Gatorade gum. I mean, come on. You remember when it was in the glass bottles. Yeah, the glass bottles.

Blow your, yeah. Unbelievable. Unbelievable marketing for Gatorade, by the way. With the Gatorade man coming delivered from house to house too. Whoever's behind that is a genius. Fuck your mom. Yeah.

I got that one in. They drowned me out, but in the comments, I like that one. I want to show the fans. The Gatorade man comes green. Comes house to house. Lemon lime. Lemon lime.

Yeah, of course. Oh, it's just lemon, I think, right? That was Gatorade for a while. That was Gatorade, of course. That was the original, right? That was Gatorade. What was next? It was either orange or fruit punch.

I would say. Orange is pretty. Orange, yeah. Definitely was a fierce grape. But I'm glad they finally got to it. They didn't jump to Glacier Freeze real quick. Now we're into Axe Body Spray Sense. Yeah, that's the same thing.

Like, it's, I feel like it's a computer generated. It's not like a fucking, you know, give me a real deal, grape something. Not like wild cherry fucking, go fuck yourself. I love them all. And you wouldn't recycle the plastic bottle either. You would just throw it on the street like an adult. Littering back in the 90s was wide open.

Yes. Yeah, I don't agree with it. I don't litter now. But back in the day, you know, how many times you'd be driving, you see a McDonald's bag fly out the fucking window. To the point, though, that now you don't really see, you think you would still see that stuff out there if a buyer takes along the buyer of the grade.

I haven't seen a lot of clean off. I haven't seen a Big Mac Styrofoam thing in a long time. Well, can I say a joke I used to have where it's like, I want to be rich enough for you. I'm driving by a sign that says littering a $200 fine, but I throw a McDonald's bag out the window and I hit a cop. Cop grabs it and then chases me and comes to the window and goes, this is a e-litter.

This is a $200 fine. And I go, officer, open the bag. And he opens it and it's $300 inside. And I go, there's $100 for your trouble. And then I just speak off of my Ferrari. In my Ferrari. I like eating that, Jareem. I like eating up the Ferrari at the beginning of the story.

Yeah, I should have set it up with the Ferrari. No, no, I like it that way. That's funny. All right, let's see here. This is from Josh. This is just a silly one. Ever have a unibrow? No, but my individual brows, I never

had the heavy in the middle, even though I'm Italian. But the brows do get out of control. They get out of control. They start growing. Outward and stuff. Yeah, this is the hair in general, like ear hair. I never had an issue with it before maybe two years ago, or it starts growing like it's trying to get Wi-Fi.

It is growing out of the top of my head to pluck them. I'm going to battle with it. I just do it when I go to get my eyebrows waxed. I have them do my ears too, knocks it right out. What's eyebrow wax? What does that entail? Because I would have shaved them. I would have a, no, it's wax.

Do a little thing, top, bottom, do the middle, because I would have a unibrow. And fighting that fight my whole life. I'll get some in there that I have to clean up every couple. Like it never, it never bridges the gap. You know what I mean? You just get, it gets messy. High school is brutal. What does that mean if it does?

What does that mean if it does? It means you need a fucking big razor to fucking right down the middle. Can't be walking around high school with a fucking uni B, you kidding me? Yeah, that's a bad look, Mikey. That is a bad look, but you're probably good. You got a good head of hair though, still.

Still a good head of hair. I like the salt and pepper, but it looks great on you. Well, can I make a confession on your podcast? I think I know what you're going to say. I don't think you have, you know, what's coming. Go ahead. I got my own hair. I came off the road this weekend.

I think we know that. We knew you cut your own hair. I cut it, and the clipper slipped, and I cut a hole in the top of my head. Oh! Wait, let me see. Look towards me. Oh my god, Mikey.

And that's an exclusive that you guys are getting here on this podcast. You got to do it at this camera. You can't cover it. You got it. There you go. That's, move your hand. Cover it.

Yeah, there it is. That's punched in on. That's funny. But we have to move forward. You got to keep trucking. Keep trucking, and it'll grow back, and then I could have just shaved my head, I guess. That was the other option.

I would have never noticed. You can't notice straight on. Straight up, but everybody taller knows. Hopefully they keep it a secret. Tell me just that something to remove your weight and. Who ain't on a buy-off? Well, my strategy is all my bad thoughts will go out of it. That's a vent.

Keep it positive. All right, this one's from Patrick, first-time question. I can't foresee, as if somebody's class use yourself, I can't foresee this. Does anyone in your family breed animals? Breed animals. No. I do have a family in Ohio, which is around a city,

but it's a really like a country area. Rural area. Rural, yeah. Any hamster farmers? Nothing like that, no. Dogs, no. No. Nobody like that.

No one breeds animals. Because that's a bad look if it is, if you do. It's never, it's messy. But you have to be scientific, kind of, if you do that. I don't think the people are. That's the problem. That's the bad look. Yeah, they're not in a lab, like, with beakers.

It's just they're having, you know, giving birth to puppies in like a kiddie pool. My boy's mom had a full, a full, a full grow operation of gerbils. It was fucking. Really? Yeah. Brutal.

Just made my blood boil. There was no signs. Are people still growing weed in their closets and stuff? Is that still a thing? Maybe not in their closet, but maybe on the patio with the dad. Is it legal to do that? I don't know what the weed laws are now. I've seen everybody saying it's legal,

but I'm like, it's like all these things where it's like, you can't sell it, but they can't do anything if you get caught with it. It's like all these things. That kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, you know, there's definitely loopholes. I don't think you can grow it.

Like, you can't just grow it. Yeah. You can't grow it. I don't think. I mean, like, I think you have to have a license to grow it. Right. You know. Yeah, you can't be.

It's not like a chia pack. You think you're getting into the dope game? I'm just a Manhattan guy. I don't know. I'm just curious about it. I'll be a kingpin in a couple of hours. I don't know. What's the straw purchase rules around here?

I mean, how long does it go before all of this just breaks and gambling is legal everywhere? And they're trying to like hold on to regulation, but it's just like, just make it, I guess, just make it. It's already breaking. Oh, no. Hey, let it all. It's not that we don't need the tat.

We need the tax dollars anyway, you know, for sure. In New York, you can have up to six plants, weed plants per household. Oh, look at that. There you go. Thanks, Cheech. Look at you. Panama red plants per household.

Yeah. Wow. And the regulation has got to be to have, like, to sell it. It's got to be, you've got to be like partners with the government, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You ever did that? I think I mentioned this before, that Yonkers,

they used to have comedy show in Yonkers. Yeah, at the casino. At the casino. It was horrible. It was tough. Yeah. It was tough, but I did it like, I did one of the first ones. Good payday, it was a Wednesday, and they sent a car.

Yeah, it was very, it was very good. Not a bad Caesar salad from what I remember. That was hell of a chicken farm, too. Well, they used to give you, like, they always do the typical comedy club thing where the first week they give you a steak, and then you go back there six months later, and they're like chicken fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, chicken fingers.

Chicken fingers is your choice. Now we took the steak off. Chicken fingers are one less chicken fingers. But I did the first one, and I met the guy, he was a son, he was a lawyer of the people who owned it. He was a part owner of it, and he was like, we're 50-50 with the government. Really?

He's like, I mean, gambling, it seems like you're just winning, like you're making money, but it's like you're partners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. So I imagine. That's a pretty sweet flex. We probably eat it the same way, yeah. You get hemmed up, you call it a boys, you know what I mean?

You're the first one getting yanked out of a hurricane situation, I'll tell you that. The black ock's coming to my house first. The black ock. I got two pounds of orange crush in here, let's go. Take the junk up. All right, this one's from Edwin. How many emojis per text message do you send?

I mean, have you ever sent an emoji? Emojis are as new for me. Yeah. What are your go-tos? Heart. Anybody, not to me. I'm not going to get a heart. No, I'll send it to you guys.

Really? Katie gets a heart. No, I love the message. I love the message that you sent. I feel it loud and clear. Really? But a heart, a thumbs up, and whatever the ones. Oh, you're just going off to touch the thing.

Yeah. You're not going into them. I will go into them for a thumbs up or something. You're not a rocket ship or a ski guy. Not a flame guy? Sometimes I'll just send a flag that I don't know what it is. It's like, hi. Hey, shout out to Albirio.

Like, I'll see you on Tuesday. It's like Greek flag. It's like, what? Now I like to send the wrong emojis. Firetruck. Do you need help? Actually, I was in awe. Firetruck, question mark.

Why did you send a firetruck? I'm an arsonist. That's funny. I'm a big on them. You're pretty big. We're all pretty big on them. I'd like to get away from it. I like to cry in laughing faces if on one.

I can't even tell what my vision is going back to. I was like, I can't tell who's crying. It is smirking. Like, oh, I sent you a smirking one. It's like, I don't know what it is. Are you going to do glasses, contacts, or reading glasses? No, I'm going to. Your readers?

Nothing. With dignity, I'm just going to. Just going to go blind. Going to go blind like my dad did. Start guessing at a restaurant. Do you do chicken? But the next time you guys see me, I'll have a dog walking me through to the table.

That's good. All right, so for Mike, we have a couple more and then we'll get out of here. Mike asks, have you ever had someone, you know, been a Civil War reenactor? No, but I think that's a great. That's really a great. Tony and Tina is just kind of like the Civil War

of an Italian wedding. So yes, let's break down what Tony and Tina is. Civil War of the 70s. It's a fake wedding. I know you guys are going to risk, but keep in mind, there's dignity to it. It was our Hamilton. It was Millville's Hamilton.

It was South Philly's Hamilton. OK, people were dying to get an invite. It was a fake wedding. It was also chicken parm served with mashed potatoes. Was it mashed potatoes? Did you cut ours? No. Were you in the original Tony and Tina?

It was an original. There was no original. The original was some junior high somewhere. I was in the South Philadelphia version. It's dinner. It was dinner theater. Yeah. Go, you're part of the wedding.

It acts like you're part of the wedding. And you were the group. You were. I was Tony. You were Tony. I was Tony for a couple of years. I was at the Venice on 20th and Snyder. Yeah.

Which was rough. Saturday nights at the Venice. Saturday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So when I started stand up, I would do stand up like, you know, you couldn't get up at Philly then. There was no helium. There was no, what's there now? Punchline.

Punchline. The Laugh House was there. The Laugh House was there. So it was the Laugh House and then that Northeast. Cabaret. Cabaret. So that's all that was there. So there wasn't that many places to get up.

So I would do Tony and Tina's three weeks a year. And then one weekend, I would like do something, do stand up. Yeah. But I would go to open mics on Wednesday. And I was trying to do as much show business as you could do in Philly at that time. That's what it was. What would a Tony and Tina gig pay about?

$35. $35. $35 grand. $35. It was $35 a performance. So you weren't doing it for the money. Yeah, you're in it for the love of the game. Would they feed you?

Yeah, you could eat dinner and then you would. But you're going to fake eat at the perception? We would drink. Hey, Mike, spit that out. We would drink afterwards, the liquor and stuff. That would be a good time. I mean, the bartenders were super cool. So they would just feed us.

Yeah. We would just get hammered. And then I was dating a girl in South Philly at the time who lived a few blocks away. So I was living in Upper Derby. And then I would go down to do the wedding. And I would just crash at her place for the weekend. And she would go to Center City and stuff

to these high end places. And I would just go to the mics. That's real blue collar mentality. She'd go to Center City to these ritzy martini bars. And I would just get annihilated and then just crash with her. And then we'd go and have breakfast. And then we'd do the whole thing again. That was all.

That was my weekends for a couple of years. Love it. Yeah. Love that. That's realistic. All right, let's see. This is from Pete. Ever date someone that was in prison?

No. OK. Just checking. You never know. Never visit anybody in prison. I did have a girlfriend who told me that she steals. Really? Like what?

She's like, sometimes I steal. Just stuff? Yeah. Shoplift? Yeah. You're not a shoplifter. I can't pay you. No, no, no.

I can't do that. I can't. Man, I'm a man of a code. I'm a big risk reward. Yeah, I just know. Same thing. For sure. Have you ever visited anybody in prison?

Visited anybody in prison. No. But when I taught, I taught kids with behavioral problems. And when I taught high school, I had a kid go to prison. And I would write him letters back and forth. And he was like, it's not good to be in here. He's like, it's really rough to be in here. He did some whatever.

He didn't have that long of a sentence. He had whatever a couple of years. But I did write him. And I would read his letters because they were all friends with him. The guys and the rest of the kids in the class were friends with him. So I read them the letters.

Whoa, that's like fucking. To let them know, it's like, hey, don't end up here. This is where this goes. Sure. This goes to jail. It's not a good place to be. I mean, you guys think it's cool, whatever, do whatever you want.

This is where it goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's tough. I had a buddy saying this. I regret asking you the question, but I feel bad. I got stand and deliver in here real quick. Yeah. Is it a joke podcast?

Not anymore, OK? You know, it's not a joke your life. I had a buddy, same thing, right out of high school. He got sentenced to four years. But he got in a program where he would go and speak at high schools, being like, hey, he got all fucked up one night. It was like a fight happening.

He's like, hey, one night can ruin your life. I was playing football in college and stuff. And I was like, so he would go to high schools and give speeches. And I remember talking to him via letter. I'm like, man, it's really cool that you're doing that. You know, like, I'm so proud of you, really, really realizing and turning around.

He's like, nah, man, we just get McDonald's when we do those shows. So like, I just go and do them. That's hilarious. He's just lying to kids for a fucking Big Mac. Whether you're doing it for the message or the McDonald's, I'd say, well, Bully's got his retirement plan covered. That's 100% right.

Hey, listen, kids. Need a number two and a bust of Cleveland. Let's go. Yeah, let's do one more, and then we'll get out of here. Lovely. Knock out some more, another first question. And I can't, you know, ever attended a backyard wrestling show, not like you're wrestling, like bad WWF.

No, I went to some amateur wrestling when I was in Philly, though. Really? It was great. I was going to see if you ever competed in one. No, no, no, no, no. Well, they were big in Philly. Even nationally, Philly was one of the headquarters of that.

I loved that one with my buddy. And he was bouncing and coaching a team there. So he was like a special guest referee. It was just great. I love that stuff. I love it. Actually, I was just watching the old Andy Kaufman. Oh, that was nuts.

Such a crazy stuff. I love him screaming, I'm from Hollywood. You're from the South. You're dumb. I'm from Hollywood. I was talking to Nate. Like, Nate was telling me about it, so I started. I went down a rabbit hole and just like looked it up.

And it's he screaming, I'm from Hollywood. I'm a star. You're nothing. I mean, that really just, I love it. It's great. That's too good. All right. Very good.

All right, gang, that is the episode. Mr. Vecchione, like we said, October 23rd, filming a brand new hour. Go see it. He's the best joke writer in the world, I would say. Thank you. Come to Long Island. Please come to Governors and the special.

And also support Macaroni Rascals, my new podcast on Patreon with Greg Stone. And also my regular podcast on gas digital, Mike Vecchione investigates gaming or gaining steam. So I'd like to have you guys both. Of course. Yeah. Absolutely fantastic.

Thank you, buddy. Kimmy, what do you got for him? Guys, come to a live show. We have Long Island as well and we have Philly coming up. We're going to have a New York City date. We're announcing it's going to be good. Get some cards and some koozies. We got some merch.

The whole nine yards. We'll be doing a new merch drop soon with t-shirts. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.