Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Movie Theater Candy w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Chubbies: https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New tour announcement gang. Oh, we the boys are loading up the bus and we're heading down Route 66, baby. Starting in Chicago, ending in Los Angeles, and we're hitting everywhere in between. Yeah. Pre-sale starts Tuesday, May 21st, 10 a.m. local time for whatever city you're in. Use the passcode GARBAGE to get access to the tickets. Then tickets are on sale for all the general public Wednesday, May 22nd, 10 a.m. Are you garbage dot com? your tickies. Route 66. Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts,

Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. You're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash.

I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. Mm-hmm. She's upstairs playing a little Scrabble okay doing her thing all right playing by herself okay still losing some my co's is coming at you from across the table unamused this week I gave you a chuckle chuckle I'll take he's the CEO of RU Garbage he's international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world give it up for Jean jacket kippy. How you doing pal?

Hey, how you doing? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate views subscribe on iTunes full video available YouTube as you know Those numbers are true to root cookin And obviously the greatest website of all time Ww.patreon.com Yes, are you garbage you go over there you get up to two to three or two four bajillion hours worth of content I'm fucking in scientists at NASA don't even know how many hours you get but it's a lot I guarantee you that infinite trying to figure it out

How about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinary the magic man makes us all look good works the ones twos threes fours Crosses T's dot size. He's starting into the five and sixes to its T bone Mc-Bone McScruffin. Toby McMullen everybody! He's about an eight. You get my drift. What's up boys? How are you T-Bone? I'm doing great. Had an all time New York City moment this weekend. What happened? Smoke crack?

Got lost in the subway tunnel? Oh no, no. I knocked that out. Got a part on Broadway. I knocked that out in 2007. Amen. No, I went to the old driving range over there at Chelsea Piers. Very New York experience, sure. About 1130 p.m. on a Saturday. Oh yeah. And a hammer-drunk gentleman pulled up to the side of the range and for 15 minutes

straight heckled at the top of his lungs. That's a good time. I don't care. I don't care what town you're in every single dude a random Streetwalker talking shit. He climbed up on the fence. He was wearing a fedora Wouldn't let up people were hitting balls at him. Everybody's dying laughing and then this guy stripes one 300 yards all the way to the end of the range hits the back of the net this guy watches it hit and just goes Great shot great shot. That's it for me. Good night, New York. Nobody hit the guy. He goes, great shot. Pussy. Nobody hit the guy. No, I was behind the net. Because that was the thing back in the day when you went to the driving range. I was I've told I was that guy in the cart man and

this guy. I was in a real bad old cart. So it's just a golf body landscape. Do something work at a Frank's or something What do you mean? I that takes that job if that wasn't just the job it was and also that was cool What are you talking? Yes, I did the accounting. That's how I got all the broads Yeah, she's mine on a weekend Boss said I can take your head. I'm driving down the bypass That's I mean dudes would the second you get out there I used to take it as a challenge Let's go

It's I was sound that that thing hitting off that cage on that golf cart. It was that like fish It was that diamond Like it wasn't like chair Imagine like steel chicken wire like that stuff where it was like you could do that man And that thing had been banged up and then it shit you like dude if that one made it through I was a I was a goner kippies little killdozer. Oh, yeah, that's what it was. That's what I that's I Fucking whip it work man. All you did was try to hit that thing some get so mad at you I respect that what are you doing? You can't be doing that. What are we doing buddy? It's target practice

Where the fuck I got broads with me. Where are you from? I? Got a new little thing. I wanted to I wanted to get into hit me It's a little hard feelings esque, and I don't know how to feel about it sure but as you know I was I was out there in the burbs and As you tend to do as I tend to do And I have a double life out there. I can't get probably dropping his Rs out there I can't get drug a different guy and yellow the guys at the driving range anymore. Someone stole my job. So I got nothing to do in the city anymore

Get out of place by AI You're a dunk tank down there pull up the neighbors have newly Installed a line of trees between our property line which makes me think they aren't fans. No. If you're willing to wait 20 years... They're walling it off. They're playing the long game, dude. These things are seedlings. They don't like me.

Uh-uh. They don't like me. The Patty's neighbors the same way. Well, that makes sense. Sure. I paid for those. Guy was like, hey, listen, your buddy's ma's out out of this world. Man, there's that guy behind us planted trees and like 98. And they're just starting to start to come to fruition.

Patty threatened to cut them, like cut the leaves down because they're falling into the pool. That's a real big dirt bag thing. Sure. I had our neighbors put a fence in the front yard like us like as high as they were allowed Because it got with a new but new new family moved in a neighborhood Mm-hmm didn't gel well right two three couple of scraps couple of fist fights and like a football game or a hockey Well, you know that turned into like, you know, we ended up getting in fights bunch of heathens in the neighborhood. I know that's my dad threatened to hit the guy that's the first time I heard the first time I heard the heard the term I'll clean your clock. He's 18. Welcome to the neighborhood. It's a fair fight. He's a grown man.

What happened to a cheese plate and a little bottle of wine? And the neighbor put up it was like trees and then they were like fucked out we're going all out Eight-foot privacy fence. I think Scottish Lord. I think it's still there It's got the little cutouts for the bow and arrow and I remember when Patty put up the new fence The next day the neighbor came down and put stakes To mark off where the property was we were getting too close Like no man's land fucking trench of warfare North Korea South Korea You guys meet in the middle and shake hands on Christmas one of those weird telescopes that goes that way

You know I'm talking about who to map of the mines the landscaper hey take it easy out there, buddy I ceasefire on Christmas Eve. Yeah singing hymns back and forth. I just did that one Yeah, I said you can meet out in the middle Cease fire on Christmas Eve. Yeah. Singing hymns back and forth. I just did that once. Did you? Yeah. I said you can meet out in the middle and shake hands on Christmas Day. Yeah, I don't know how to feel about it. I respect the move as you know, but also. Well, you got that hell hound back there barking and chasing squirrels around. Plus, you said he sits there and stares at the neighbors. He does. Nobody needs that. Guy's paying property tax. Also, what's the... I'm new to the burbs.

I mean, I grew up in the burbs, but I'm, you know, I've been out of the burbs for 15 years or what have it. Doing the other ladies in the neighborhood, it's frowned upon. Before you start getting into it. Jesus Christ. I'm a married man, god darn it. The guy was there putting in like top soil, like top like mulch. He got your place.

Now at the neighbors place, like the neighbor had a thing of mulch dropped. I guess they put and then so he was mulching it. And he's I mean, it's from like my fence. And then it's maybe like five feet. He put the trees up. That's going to be an issue in about 15 years. It's going to be an issue. I'll be long gone. Those leaves will be falling on it. I'll be dead. Well, we got a big tree that falls on his. Yeah, it's all, it's a,

it's a mess back there. A little leaf warfare. But it's kind of weird cause like they play and then Hans gets right up on the fence and hold just pee on the fence. But like it goes through the fence, obviously. Sure. And I'm like, Nadine was like, do we not have him? Like, it'd be like if I was sitting here, it's closer to me and Toby. And the dogs just staring at him, being like towards him. It's you know, it's not hitting him, but it's landing on his property.

Getting on his lawn. Yeah. That's no good. I don't know. I think I you know, they're nice people. Very nice. You know, does it touch the new soil and stuff like that? Is it where the beds are? What the P? Yeah. No, but it's like, I mean, it's weird that like he's kneeling down here in the grass and then like, you know, four and a half feet away, my dog's mugging them,

taking a leak, marking his territory. Look at him right in the eye. Yeah. Hey, you like that? I don't know. I mean, I, there, there, I, I just don't know the, maybe they had that plan for a while because they do have a very nice You know

Landscape design I've seen pictures and that was the only place where there was nothing So maybe that was their whole thing and what's your situation now? It is the it is late spring at this a lot of weeds Have you have you is has there been a mulch dump now you got a blower I got a blower. He's got a yard full of dandelions. What are you talking? It's pretty good. We got two three things. We got to take care of cuz in the spring That's big for people and it's already the end of May you got a you got a I'm gonna have a landscaper come take care. I got a guy. Okay, come do I he did a fall clean up

You don't do a spring clean up tighten me up about a Bing about a boom Learned you gotta pick up I got a yard for dude You're dumping back Trees look good Good to see ya. Yeah, I don't know I mean I don't know I I don't want to take it as an act of to see ya. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I don't want to take it as an act of take it. Nah, I don't think it is. But it's like, you don't want to see it. They didn't have them last year. No, I'll tell you that much. You don't want to see it. But we're

not there that often. That's the other thing. It's not like I got we were like running around having volleyball parties. But the birds there, you got the folks there, all that kind of stuff. But we're way less intrusive than the family. There was a family there that had like two or three dogs and like three kids. Like we're way less.rusive than the family. There was a family there that had like two or three dogs and like three kids. They were way less. Hmm. We're way quieter, way less intrusive. Not there. I think you're related. You're like the son of some weird cult going on.

It lights always flicker in and out. It doesn't feel like an act of war. So I wouldn't say you should be on high alert, but you should be on alert. Sure. You don't like it. I'm fine with it. I listen, I'm tough to get along with. I understand that. You say, hey, what's up in the morning? Hey, how you doing? How you doing?

He works a lot, but I see her more. We're friendly. We go over and talk. Hey, how you doing? How you doing? What do they call it when the troops start amassing at the border? A show of strength. Yeah, they're mobilized. They have mobilized their tree army tree army run war games next door Wait till I get my paintball gun out fucking doing barrel rolls and shit

Fuckin lethal with that thing daddy up. I just wet pants climbing on the monkey bars Now they're great we get along well. I just told that's weird suburban, I don't know what's uncouth or not. People get weird down in the burbs, man. It's gonna get real weird when Kippy's in the back punching a piece of wood with rope wrap around it. I'm not burying myself in a coffin. Punch out. Kill Kippy.

Volume 2. Working on a new bit! Do they know you're a comedian of sorts? They know you do open mics. Yeah, I think so. I mean, the one neighbor does and I'm sure the other ones. Because I assume no offense to you personally. Okay, I don't like this.

But they look at you and they're like, how's this guy afford this joint? Sure. They probably want to know. You know? But they look at you and they're like how's this guy afford disjoint sure they probably want to know uh-huh you know insurance claims slip and or fall How many times that city bus hit you buddy? Coming and going

Mr.. Powerball over there. Yeah, the one guy knows I do comedy shout out to him. I mean the Ten dollar home I Yeah, the one guy knows I do comedy. Shout out to him. I mean, the both. Shout out to him. He's a $10 home. I went over and signed them up physically with a clipboard. I just went, hey, what do you like to find? I'm gonna level to $10. Most people do it at $10 level. Couple Girl Scout cookies. I'm closing them. Closing door to door.

Like one of those guys that tries to, you know you're allowed to switch your energy provider Oh man clean energy conservation act whatever those guys do they get in an apartment building there? They run around like Yeah, the one guy was yelling at me like I worked for him. I said buddy. I ain't opening the door get out of here Let me see your let me see your con Ed bill. I hit you with that. Yeah, no, no, no, I'm authorized I go buddy author I go first of all you're 14 get out of here. It's a goddamn school day He should be fucking mrs. Jenkins bio class now. Do you have any chocolates or not? Otherwise kick rocks Yeah, they get real aggressive those do those dudes. Yeah, they're closing their door-to-door sales

Cuz what that's all as someone who's done kind of that work. You've got a It's not nice, but you like assume hey, let me see you represent You're someone who they represent like they work for con Ed sure like but they're working for some dirtbag switcher service those dudes roll around the burbs to I know they've crossed that threshold of Patty's no man no man's land walking driveway. The guys from the solar company? I used to do that shit. Hey, we're working on a house down the block. The Stevenson's we're doing siding for them.

We're giving out free estimates to everybody in the neighborhood. Catch a BB right in the eye. Patty at the top window. I imagine throwing a fucking smoke bomb. Hell, we all fight in the dark, baby, I Imagine every door-to-door salesman's glove box is just jammed full of parking tickets sure a lot of them Don't have cars a lot of them. You know they get dropped off and they walk I dropped off in a neighborhood and walk around like Mormons

Yeah, you said I used to better day say nice to get a minivan full of actual criminals and drive around the nice neighborhoods and let them loose. Trying to turn, you don't have that because you're down there in Bumblefuck. I was there and there's probably not another house for 20 miles where you grew up, right? No, no, sure. There was a guy who sold me out of a van. Yeah, there you go.

We got all type of good stuff. Me in a van, that was big. The speakers were big. Speakers out of a van in a parking lot and they'd show up and be like, hey, you need speakers? I never knew where they were getting them. And I think we've talked about it. The tractor trailers would come up from North Carolina and sell furniture. Do you remember that? Oh yeah. That's a good deal. And thank you for employing my cousins. That's a good deal, right? Bunch of big dick, long haired weirdos.

I'm Stevie McMullen. Bunch of crooked couches. Yeah, but God darn it, gang. That's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands here that we're going to get into. Very nice. Guys, as you know, when you join the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on here. It's just the best way to do it. The homies's get a the home is on patreon get the first crack at it

Yep, there's one from Tommy. Yo ever drink your fries Hmm out of the thing. Oh Is he look we'll find his fries in the car? That's standard procedure standard operating procedure Yeah, you gotta do that. Maybe keep them in a, if they fit in a cup holder, boom, bow, boom, bow. Sure. That was big for the the chicken fry out of Burger King as well. Really? Yeah. Never messed with them. Really? When they first dropped, they were great. They had great breading,

but then at some points the chicken turned to not chicken. It got real, once it became a permanent menu item They got real bad But when they were like, you know the McRib that would come around and for you know for two three month runs They were fucking alright there. They're terrible And I think one of the biggest problems with society these days is represented in our treatment of Burger King We got to hold people accountable Burger King stinks. You're not wrong, man. I loved it.

It was my favorite for a long time. The best thing to drink is the smart food popcorn when you get down towards the end, because there's a lot of little... You got it. A lot of little curdles. A lot a little bit. And you get that flavor dust on your hands.

You can't... That shit doesn't come off. Oh, man. It's like napalm. It's like a boxy. It turns black. Dude, you like scrape it off and it's like, what the fuck was I? Look, you read the newspaper.

Yeah, dude. It's bad news. Fucking stinks. I love drinking that though. Yeah, that nice mouthful of that. Splash it. Dr. Pepper. Ain't no doggy.

That and I would watch my dad as a kid to Pepper's farm goldfish. Sure. That or he would pour them in a cup. And then that, which was a pro move. Snacks out of a cup are alright. Yeah. That's a dad move right there. Sure thing.

I see the golfers do that when I worked at the Meadowlands Country Club. They would go into, it was like a dining room, and then they had a snack bar. Yeah, at the Turn. Yeah. No, no, this is in the club. Yeah, that's where the Turn is bar. Yeah, at the turn. Yeah. No, no. It's just in the club. They used to use where the turn is. The turns at the club. What's that mean? The turn between the ninth and the 10th hole.

No, I hope goes that the first nine holes go out and then you come back in. Uh huh. And then the ninth hole. I mean, I'm sure there's a golf club out there where this isn't the case, but 99 percent of the time starts off next to the clubhouse again. So you're back there. So the hole's 10 in one. Take a leak, grab a soda. Grab your diesels, grab your bread bag full of beers.

That was real big back then. Sure. OK. So it always you go out and then come back in. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they had a little glass, big glass jars with the metal things that was filled with like little pretzels, goldfish, all that kind of stuff.

And they would all go in there with a cup, scoop it out. The SOP for a dad snacking out of a cup would be a slight shake of the cup, pour into the hand, slight shake of the hand. Head back. Head back, and then a fisted, open-topped pour

from the hand. It's like they turn their hand into another cup. Followed up with a saying like, I don't know, I just don't like the guy. Pop one of those in there. Okay, let's talk about ladder. Shout out the ladder. Gang life insurance is serious business.

You don't want to put it off. No joking around. That's right, you don't want to screw around. Okay, it's not like cleaning up the house. You want to make sure everybody's covered. Luckily, ladder makes it easier to check that off your core list. Off your chore list. Sure.

Sure. And your core list. Not core like your abdomen, which I work on usually. It's 100% digital. No doctors, no needles, no paperwork. When you apply for how much you think, Pinhead? I don't know. 100 bucks?

3 million. 3 million? Woo! Yeah, all you got to do is answer... Set Patty up nice. All you got to do is answer a few questions about your health in an application, easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

How you doing? It's so quick to do, ladder, smarter algorithms work in real time to find out if you're instantly approved. No hidden fees, you can even get a full refund if you change your mind in the first 30 days. Sure. It's time to get it done, take it off the list. You could die before this episode is over.

Oh my God, talk about the doom and gloom. You've been talking to it. Which hey, listen, I respect. Check my pulse. So go to ladderlife.com slash garbage today to see if you're instantly approved. That's ladder, L-A-D-D-E-R, life.com slash garbage. Ladderlife.com slash garbage. Do it. Do it.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Yes, sir. Stop bottoming up your feelings, gang. You don't have to deal with everything all on your own at once Which is something I struggle with Therapy through better help is an amazing way to get stuff off your chest better. Help is incredible It's not just people who have experienced major trauma Therapy can benefit everybody and help everybody set boundaries and stick to those boundaries

Yeah, you can learn positive coping skills gain gain confidence for situations you're dealing with. It's entirely online, so you don't have to commute to an office and you can literally have therapy from your bed, which if you got the blues, that's a great place to do it, you know what I mean? Talk therapy is an amazing tool, regardless of how you do it. I'm a big proponent of BetterHelp, let you get in the pool, baby.

You sign up, you can start talking to someone right away, which is like the biggest barrier to entry. It's the hardest thing to overcome. It's actually just doing it. But with them, you just fill out a quick survey and BetterHelp will match you with a licensed therapist. If you need a change therapist, that's no problem. You can swap with just the click of a button.

No awkward conversations needed. So get it off your chest gang, use BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash garbage today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash garbage. Do it. I remember watching Pat's dad, shout out to Pat's dad, eat with M&Ms or something, shaking them up and back. Like they're playing roulette. I know, no, crap. And I remember being like, that guy's cool. Like dude, he was fucking, he was probably 42 at the time, you know what I mean?

Doing alright in business, got a nice house, like, ah, you dumb kid. Picking up the local fat kid. I mean, if you want to look at it like that, you can, but property tax is going to be brutal. Yeah, same. What's this guy? Same on Tuesday as it is on Wednesday. I used to look at peanut M&Ms like they were brain food

I'm gonna that was how much more medicine. Yeah, dude. That was I reach a crazy I still don't mess with them if I've been drinking no, dude. Those things are wild My mom getting those the yellow packaging they were all big and then not knowing what they were at first like the fuck is in here Yeah, damn acorn not enough chocolate daddy. Oh redip these things and call me back. The hell is this? straight heat Amy Miami's Peanut butter and for peanut M&Ms get 80. Yeah, it's the same way dude That's like it took you a minute with a Snickies to when you were yeah that you got to graduate to it Peanut butter for peanut M&Ms, get 80s. Yeah, it was the same way, dude.

That's like it took you a minute with a Snickies too when you were a kid. Yeah, you gotta graduate to a Snickers. Yeah, well it was funny because my brother was a couple years older than me, so watching him, I was a Reese's or a Kit Kat man. Sure. He was a Snickers.

The precursor was a Reese's Cup. Yeah, that might as well have been a filet mignon to me, dude, a Snickers bar at seven, no way. I don't know what's in there. What the hell's a nougat? I don't have a rental property. I can't be eating Snickers. I know. But it was always good on Halloween because that's what took the heat off the rest of the candy. Because the adults only wanted the Snickers bar. Maybe it maybe a Reese's. If you have your mom's eating smarties, that's a give me some sprees.

Yo, what? I was always partial to the Necco wafer law. The Necco wafer has big fans. I remember you could get the little five bag probably 10 in there or like the 25 the little guys were great that black licorice one though. Look out. It's like being at the dentist, you know what? I never I never know then it's so funny. I was had oh, I want to say I was

at a Wegmans or something like two weeks ago. Okay, you think you're going well. Yeah, I mean, yeah Wegmans I was eating at the hot bar neighbors boxing you out Kids doing I think I'm pretty sure my debit card was declined due to fraudulent charges at the Wegman. I. But what are the proleteens? Pralines praline, the little non-preels non-preel.

You're talking about the little chocolate bangers with the dot. What the I love them But that body that took that was also that was a grandfather candy to me Yeah, that was that was in the in the dish Yeah, cuz they didn't sell you couldn't buy a pack of them at the supermarket No, you had to get him out like a candy candy Joanne's nuthouse, which I talk about all the time We grew up to go and you're not all nuts or we're not all nuts. Oh, this is a snow cap It's similar. Yeah. Yeah, but they're done much better and much bigger snow caps are crazy

Anybody got those were sent to a detention center In my area, I don't think I've ever although you came in a box, right? Yeah, they were little tiny nonpriels Yeah, great movie theater candy. Ah you're crazy, no it's not, it's bad news. You just get M&M's. Yeah what's better than that? That's what I'm like, it's a shittier version of an M&M. M&M's kind of stink low key. What? Whoa. Man. This kid's. I think peanut M&M, peanut butter M&M, I think they dunk on. You're down there eating molasses out of a jar. Well peanut butter M&M peanut butter M&M. I think they dunk on you're down there eating molasses That's new-age shit. That wasn't the case back in the day. Those are banging those are all right

I'm a year when they're nice and soft Of I used to love a crunch bar and then when they came out with bunch of crush forget about he Closed that door. We're out of business when they came out with Buncha Crunch. Forget about it. Buddy, close the door. We're out of business. That's movie candy. You mix that right in the popcorn, right in there.

For the people out home, if you don't see what just happened, if these boys are ever breathing down your neck, just mention peanut butter. I'll sign back on. Tell the leaves back up. Yeah. Yeah.

If we're ever in a high end negotiation, just slide a bottle of Jiffy across the table. You bought snow caps. Yeah. That's crazy. We are raising that sky to fuck now What am I trying to rip my feelings out dude, yeah now that's a milk dud I love a milk Raisin that's I don't think I ever had one that was like I'd rather eat an apple or something That was I were health candy to me in a pinch I wouldn't kick him out of bed, but I mean I'm not if that's if I got the no I was bunch of crunch for sure

Popcorn and or like I said, I would do the the pretzel nuggets and I like some nuggy when they started bang I love that melted cheese sure oh rush over to the seat open that up real quick Can I say this though? I hate when the melted cheese has a hint of nacho. I love that melted cheese. Sure. Woo. Rush over to the seat. Open that up real quick. Can I say this? No, I hate when the melted cheese has a hint of nacho. I don't like that. I like that. No, like it's straight. I like straight cheese whiz. That's that nachos is one of the best cheeses. It's like top three cheese. No, it is, but I don't like it mixed with my pretzels. I like nacho. I like cheese

with cheese. What's it called like nacho. I like cheese, cheese, what's it called? Cheese sauce. But that wasn't readily available back in the day. They were repurposing the nacho cheese. Of course. Like for the pretzels. I'm aware of that. Like a melted beer cheese is nice with pretzels. They'll do that sometimes. You want just a straight cheese whiz.

Like the stuff that you get at the Philadelphia Pretzel Factory. Yes. Yeah. And back in the day day at the Wyoming Pretzel Factory. Yes. Ooh. Yeah. And back in the day day at the Wyoming Valley Mall when Patty worked at the Gap, there was a place next door that had super pretzel soft pretzels in the case that spun around in the front that was always warm.

And in the corner, they would stack the cheap. How you doing? How you doing? That was all right. You know what I just saw? Real quick. I remember not being able to count and they were like me They were They were like 50 cents or something like that And I thought pennies were dimes and I went in and I had five pennies and I was like can I have a pretzel?

Please and they were like what can any idiot? Hey listen fatass. It already looks like you had your service for carbs today So I went back to Patty was at work, and I went back and I stole a dollar per so I got busted cold My first offense first collar Nabbed buying snacks still got that pretzel though um And I don't know how I feel about this, but Annie Anne's has breakfast sandwiches. Really? Which, listen.

On a pretzel? On a pretzel bun. I don't love the pretzel bun. I like a pretzel bun in the right thing, but it just doesn't, I feel, that don't feel right to me. That's not, listen, you're not breakfast. And I feel like if you're eating Annie Anne's breakfast sandwiches You're not in charge of the big case the big file the big murt like that's that's train station shit Which I get if you're in a pinch, but like I love a train station breakfast. It's always got chocolate milk involved

Okay, I don't know I've never had chocolate milk at a train station I think that's mostly really what I mean, what's at a train station? We're getting breakfast like that like a bottle of break like a bottle of chocolate milk. Yeah. Yeah, okay Not a homemade made one. Yeah. Well, I'm yeah, I don't know. You know, I want to ask you switching gears real quick Hold on T-bone. You got eyes on that breakfast sandwich. Can you give me their offerings? Yes I'm I'm looking here that they're they're really innovating and on the nugget side of things. I'm listening to that What are they doing? I think I just saw them. They're pre-made. So they're just sitting in a heat box Pre-made pretzel bun sandwiches that can't be what is it? What is the pretzel bun sandwich? I'm up

It's not a pretzel bun sandwich. Well, we're getting there But I'm gonna throw out a combination of three words that's gonna get kippy rock hard. You ready for this? Uh-huh original pretzel nuggets bucket? That's sure. Yeah, I'm nuggets. Yeah, we know them well. That's the that's the best vehicle for nuggets. Oh, I thought this was new. I've never seen this pepperoni nuggets only to be upstaged by the the nugget tray, which is the superstar destroyer of nuggets. That's the big boy.

That's the aircraft carrier when you're pulling one of those. And that comes with like two, three sources in the big cops. Yeah, I don't like that. The only two cinnamon sauce. I'm a cheese man. Everybody knows that about me. They do pumpkin around around Halloween. Nice. They their breakfast offering does not look great.

No, right. It like even like the marketing materials that they put out don't look great. Give me a menu like a sesame. It's a sausage, egg and cheese and a bacon, egg and cheese on on a pretzel bun. Oh, it looks like a sesame. It's not like a it's I think that's I have the same thing.

It looks like sesame, but I think that's just big nuggets of salt. Yeah, I think it's that I think it's like a pretzel version of a but which is like. You know, it would do well if you combine the the the breakfast fair in the old country in Ireland, the sausage roll and stuck one of those inside the pretzel like they have the hot they have the hot.

So, yeah, if they did that with like a bacon, egg and cheese filling on that or some sort of roller or you know what you could do if you were so inclined, you'd have to have a real sharp knife but you take a press soft pretzel I think Annie Anne's has one of those you take a sure figure that out take a soft pretzel slice that in half and put your bacon egg and cheese on there would never that way now you would know you would never laser that cuts at the molecular level they do it in they do it in Germany and they put butter and cheese in there it's and they that's just in a gas station hang and it's so good.

But I was just trying to say you never find a knife sharp enough for that type of job. Any hands has sharp knife money. Let's not despair. It is a great company. I don't know if they do any hands. They're not letting those idiots back there with the sharp knives. They could call in the manager to cut the pretzels or send them pre-cut from the factory. There you go. But that's not a that wouldn't be you can eat that. It'd be falling out. Or send them pre-cut from the factory. There you go.

But that's not a, that wouldn't be, you couldn't eat that. It'd be falling out, that's like, That's what I'm saying. That's like three bagels. With the whole- I think there's a delicacy to it. Or a delicateness to it. That would be really good. Open-faced, I'm listening. But now you need a knife and a fork and a plate and napkins. Man, we're really back at square one with this thing.

Now I know why they can't crack it. What if you, what if you wrapped like a pretzel tornado on the outside to do like some you know I'm saying like a secondary pretzel. Oh yeah I'm okay with that. To do what? To encase it all. On the pretzel? Yes. Or in the that doesn't make any sense. That's too much pretzel. You're talking about a whole soft pretzel. Now these aren't the soft pretzels that are like that at any ends there they look better if you slice one of them aware that Wow I hit us up right uh-huh what do you feel about self-checkout at Wawa I don't like it I don't like any any

any of the I kind of like any of those things I like talking to the guy behind the thing you know what I mean I don't know I don't like any of those things. I like talking to the guy behind the thing. You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't like doing the thing But like talking to the guy. There's a big line and you got one or two. It's great in that sense You got one or two things. It's it's I'm telling you it's alright. I also like touching base with the real folks You know what I mean? Yeah, not like those rich people who use self-checkout No, I like I like having an interaction with the person that works at Wawa.

I understand that. I'm just saying it is a nice alternative if you're trying to fucking jump in and jump out. You can't get your heaters now. They start gripping you up. That's the problem with myself. Check out it like CVS. Oh, my God, though, you got to get somebody over there if you

get in cough medicine or something like that. I need 80 packs of cough medicine, sir. You like that. I need 80 packs of cough medicine. Sir, you can't. It's a lot of cough medicine. I worry about what I'm using this core is seeding for whatever it's called. Core is seeding back in a day. Who is using that except to make meth? Nobody got that for a cold.

We eat somebody. I want to say it. I it was I can narrow it down to two bodies that were doing core to see like when they would get sick. My mom would give them cortis. Eat it never You know anybody that was a deslam family or del some I'm thinking of del some blue. No, it's salsum blue Yes, that's like a shitty stereo. Hold on you're pronouncing it wrong I think but I know it has an orange label or yet del some cough syrup. Let me say

Sorry, there's no base. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That might as well been Blackhouse. Dull some my stepdad as he got after the eaters caught up to him. He was this stuff. I mean, that was sitting there like that was that was like orange juice at the crib. That's like every morning. Fucking eight ounces of that to clear them out.

It was bad. Rest in peace, Buck. Every morning fucking eight ounces of that to clear them out. It was bad rest of peace buck All right, let's see here Speaking of a little suburban ass. This is Tootie's titty doctor nice I got a $10 homie never had one red she could use a set of cans Is it garbage to use a bagger on a lawnmower rather than the lawn then mulching the lawn clippings? Is it say say that when you're cutting grass? I'm full. I have a lot of homeowners out there There's a bagger on a lawn mower rather than the lawn than mulching the lawn clippings. Is it say it again. When you're cutting grass.

I have a lot of homeowners out there, right? That are probably cutting their own yard. Are you catching it or are and bagging it or you letting it go? The classy responsible right way to do it. I have my answer on this. The classy responsible right way to do it is to bag it. Okay, the trashy thing to do is you're too lazy to keep emptying the bag after every once in a while, which because that does fill up quick and it's a pain in the ass, especially as a little fat 12 year old

it was a bitch to get that thing on and off. The trashy thing is you just keep going over it and it never really it never mulches it up the way you think. But two days later, there's always those streaks of dead grass because you let it go too long. If you stay on, if you cut it so that so the clippings just dissolve into the thing. The clippings are too as somebody I've as I'm sure you are too. I've cut law a lot of fucking law and I've done it the laziest way possible and have been yelled at for every shortcoming Specifically in the front yard sure you want to get experimental or lazy do that shit in the back You know, I can see it that front yard has got to be proper backyard

The front yard's got to be the little mower on a diagonal But the bag so no problem. The problem with the bagging is you're gonna big clumps are gonna fall out It's gonna you're gonna push it It's gonna get too full and it's gonna start leaving clumps behind you then you get the rake out You got to scoop it and the lines get all it looks it looks like a fucking landmine Like it looks like fucking explosions happen. So you can't do that You got to keep it very you got to cut it and stay on top of it before it gets too long and then just blow that shit up.

No, bag is the proper way. That's why it has a bag. If you do it the right way. I don't think anybody does it the right, I mean, landscapers aren't bagging it. Only homeowners are bagging it. Landscapers, cause landscapers stay on top of it. True.

That's why it doesn't need to be bagged. Hmm. Landscapers are not bagging lawns. Because they're going once every five days and cutting it or cutting it. They're there. They're scheduling it of like, oh, shit. It's rained. It's done this. We got to get on top of it. Trying homeowners aren't the homeowners are getting home from work, fucking yelling at the kids fighting with the wife and

then cutting it on fucking Sunday after they had to do it three schlitzes. I'm trying to think if we use the bag in the front yard of this one neighborhood We had this one the one guys that landscaped for we had this entire rich person neighborhood It was crazy, and there was one lawn right there on the top of the cul-de-sac It was the premier property in the whole Subdivision from every corner of street. And this guy was a dick about his front lawn. If that thing didn't look like Yankee Stadium, he'd be out there bitching. Yeah. And I think I used a bag for that.

But that's a specific thing. Sure. The problem, like I said, the problem with the bag is the execution of it. It just ends up looking like shit. It looks worse than if you just let it hang. As a pro, as a professional, you'd come back through, if it'd been a while, you can come back through with the blower and blow all that shit off and then get that up in the truck. Yeah, but you lose a lot of the lines that way. A little bit. Not a little bit, a lot of it. We had an old-school, I mean, I think he got it like in a state sale.

Somebody died and we got this old, old John Deere. And it had a so we would cut it. But you are sitting right there. I mean, this thing was for that backyard you got in the front yard. OK, yeah. Right. That sounds like it's a big tractor. No, not like a farm track, like a residential track. Okay. Yeah, like like a riding mower a riding mower Yeah, not a tree. Yeah, no, not a yeah

Riding mower, but it was old like to the point where like the blueberry picker You got the build a big fucking crawlers that looks like I'm picking up golf balls again It had like the engine parts that you could see like you know like the fucking all the tubes and shit in the front Yeah, yeah, like it wasn't you know how like now like they have just like the green plastic thing that pops up And this was like there was no electronics on it this thing was for a minute old in the 80s and like the mid 80s like one that you would get from like Sears it might have been like Craftsman they had like like it looked like It looked like a souped-up truck the silver John the silver John with the sick headlights in the front and the Red and blue it said Craftsman and the wheels. Yeah, I had a rims

I had the white rims on the outside that thing was tight Man, you could low rider My dad looked like a G rolling around No, it's not. I remember I caught my hand on the muffler once got a chain-link steering wheel those things were He's up on two wheels and shit Kip let's talk about chubby chubby. I'm talking about the one in your pants We kids got a little spinger going again Okay, Kip, let's talk about Chubbies. Chubbies. I ain't talking about the one in your pants either. Ooh wee. Kids got a little spinger going.

Again, we're talking about the most comfortable shorts you're ever going to put on. Summer's coming. It's time to show off a little thigh. Chubby shorts are going to be the most comfortable clothes that you put on this summer. Get my hands on a pair of these bad boys. They have super stretchy shorts and variety of inseams with bold colors and patterns as well as your basics. Yeah. So whatever mood you're in, Chubby's got you covered.

The good folks over at Chubby's were nice enough to send the two tree pairs my way. Is that right? They also sent yours to me. I've been using it to cover my wave runner. Rude. No, they're fantastic. Super comfortable and they're kind of cool. Listen, we're not the coolest guys, but you put them on you, it's a nice piece of clothing for you.

I need a new bathing suit. They even have matching outfits you can wear with your kid. It's the last summer look you'll ever... Yeah, it's fun. They're having a good time. I like that. That's what they're doing. They're having fun. I like to have a good time. Yes, you do.

Whether you're getting dressed... Why don't you tell your face? Whether you're getting dressed for your work day, a workout, or a weekend getaway. Chubbies has you covered for a limited time. Chubbies is giving RU Garbage listeners 20% off your order. Let's do it. Woo-wee! That's a lot of turkey. It's all Chub up this summer.

With the code garbage at chubbyshorts.com slash garbage. That's code garbage at chubbyshorts.com slash garbage. Support the show and tell them we sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out. What a Chubby. Stick out. Kip, this is Helix, baby. Shout and tell them we sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out, what a chubby. Stick out. Kip, this is Helix, baby. Shout out to the OG Helix.

As we said, summer's coming. Right, you wanna be rested, you wanna be good. A good night's sleep is one of the most important things you can do and you can do that on a Helix mattress because they are the absolute best. He sleeps on one, I sleep on one. I think T-Bone and Luke both sleep on one I don't know where they shack up with those two were done in there. Yeah

Anyway, you go over there you take the quiz you find that I sleep whether you sleep hot whether you sleep cold Whether you sleep fat whether you sleep skinny on your side on your back Whatever it is Helix mattresses is the best you're ever gonna get Yeah They have a lineup of 20 different mattresses including the award-winning Lux and Ultra Premium Elite Collections. Now those sound pretty comfy.

Waffy. Tozy. Like the big man said, I've been sleeping in one for about three years now. It's fantastic. It's the best sleep of my life. It's the first adult mattress I had as a kid that I didn't like find behind a dumpster

or like your nana died in. And I had a crash at Patty's not that long ago. And, I don't know what she's got but it ain't a heel Yeah, I got that They the mattresses have a 10 or 15 year warranty and a hundred night trial so you can test it out in your own home They got mattresses for tall people short people big stomach the whole nine yards like the big man said Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for RU Garbage listeners. That's a lot of cash. Go to helixsleep.com slash garbage. That's helixsleep.com slash garbage. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long so act now with Helix. Better Sleep starts right now.

Dude, those things were awesome. Yeah, they were dope. Yeah, ours was I think someone died. We got ours not new. John Deere, that's like farmer shit. I know, it was 15 years. It was so old. We had to jumpstart it every time. Yeah, we had to jump it with a car. I had to go get my mom's keys, popper hood,

fucking a job. I was like eight years old jumping the truck. We looked like such dirtbags. But he had this old sweeper. That thing was alright So you'd hook it to the back mm-hmm, and it had like a street sweeping brush Really so we would just do it was I mean there was holes it was all duct tape It was a disaster was a great invention this would clean the grass up

So then you would just cut and then you would just drive over where you went and it was a sweep it up all in the back you pull up you dump that then in the driveway or in it or in the grass and you But you keep all your same lines. Gotcha. That was all right Yeah, I hate it doing it and cut it and cut it again and you have no interest in doing this at the house For meditation purposes. I can't get down there enough. I'm not like I'm not gonna I'm not gonna fucking you know Be like, oh, I gotta go drive to cut the grass and come back while we're fucking all over the road and shit. What if I got you a nice little mower to do the front?

Maybe. Yeah. All right. I'm not like I'm not I'm not leaving New York to go cut the grass to turn on a comeback. I'll do it. No. What are you paying? Nothing. I'll lowball. I mean, there we use the big industrial one that you don't ride, but it's self-propelled Yeah, it's like a snowblower. Just fucking here talking landscaping baby. Let's go skag Yeah, you hit the hit the point hit those real turns sure dude

I remember me my buddy were cutting a giant lawn with two of those goofing off and I He was behind me. I put my feet on the top of his and then was holding on to mine Like ghost riding your ghost riding the whip and it it was so fun and looking back on that I was like dude. I could have lost both of my feet So danger so danger I've ever used one of those things on like a hill on a highway and like it fell back a little bit and like that Would have been it like forget about the blades going but I would do like Ben Stiller in Tropic Thunder

Or the thing just hits you and knocks you into the highway and you're dead But those things you you would have a they had like a little attachment that had two little like things for your feet Yeah, so you can make it a little skitcher. Oh, that's how we didn't have that. Yeah that came out They yeah, they came out later It was to make like a walking mower a riding mower kind of but nothing felt better Then then dumping that little shifter into Jack rabbit and whipping around a turtle or Jack rabbit. No, I was full turtle I was a rabbit man having a full riding one that had the the bars that went down like that I believe they were toilet T Toro zero turn zero. And you would sit in it and you would put them up and fat ass engaged.

No walking at a boy's zero turn or zero gravity, not gravity and cutting like a huge zero radius, cutting a huge field in the middle of the summer. Just you're out there by yourself with your headphones on just like for like two hours just cutting it man far as gum clean living you ain't lying that yeah All right, let's see here This one's a little longer, but it's one of those you know all right this one's from business Is it garbage for the wedding couple to request leftovers from their wedding dinner?

Here it is, new $10 Euro homie. Quick back story, recently moved to Germany, Kippy V. Getz, how you doing, pal? And I've been working in the kitchen for a catering company. At the wedding last week, the maid of honor came back to the kitchen after the meal with six Tupperware containers and explained that

the couple wants to bring whatever food was left over for their road trip the following day. What's the vibes on that? Uh, hmm. Well, as someone who's in the thick of something like that, I pay for this is coming with me. I mean, that is very, that's a very German thing. That's it? I mean, like, just the idea of like, ah, we brought some Tupperware, it's our food,

we take our food. I'm not saying even be wasteful, but who wants that much Tupperware in a car with them? Like, there ain't no refrigerator. I can see if they're like, oh, we have fucking four sheets of penne vodka left over, I go, yeah, fucking wrap that up, that'll, we'll throw that in the freezer. We did that at my dad's funeral. That's why I get that if you're it's catered never ain't it though for the record Patty tried to break out like a couple weeks later for something else like her birthday or something like that

My brother nixed it just like throw that shit out. That's if he that's again. So it's like six dollars worth of pasta you're saving Ghost of vodka past uh the booze on the other hand you take that with you if it's in yeah, I mean like I Don't know if I want to be left overs in a car like that's that ain't worth Now I think if you're filling up Tupperware, I think that's a bad look if they have like hey we have this extra Four trays of fucking stuffing and green, but it's like yeah either take yeah, and you can take it stuffing green I don't know just trying to think But you know what I mean like if it's like you shouldn't be I know is the answer no It's trash and it's 100% trash. You're paying for the experience

Okay, you're not taking the leftovers with you Especially in the Tupperware in the car. That's crazy Like the bald guy said if there's a tray of something let them let the mother-in-law or something like that I'm saying I'll have a take it home So if you want to get it to get used get used but like to seat in your car and the fucking Alps eatin fucking Yeah, you know Room temperature probably hot as shit. Fuck it, you know cold eggplant The smell is bad, but the flavors are delicious

Now we're talking the apps sure Yeah, you got a couple of you know fiesta the egg rolls. I don't like the Germans are all fiesta egg rolls at their wedding Man I was pushing for egg rolls at the wedding. Yeah What'd they say? No, no, I got shot down. Why yeah, it's not classy Is this supposed to be a classy affair class pretty sure you're gonna be in board shorts Have you picked out the outfit yet? Your outfit? No. Good to know.

Something cash. You know, maybe some linen pants. Just your Tokyo T-shirt or something. Yeah, something chillin'. We'll go traditional Hawaiian tuxedo on top, swimsuit on bottom. Nah, I don't know. Have you? What? P what pick that nice cocktail dress free

Yeah, one last look at that a little black number you like All right, we're moving on here, I don't like the way this is turned on But I love the way that trace my dress makes my hips look how it makes me feel like a dirty little whore if you catch my trend. I put that on 30 minutes later, my ankles are over my head. Oh, you're like an ex-wife at the wedding. Go with lovely ceremony. No panties, by the way.

I'm crossing your legs in front of the priest. Good lord. I'm done. You believe he wore that I get jealous Haha, I remember him when he wasn't fat We used to be an item I'm getting drunk and taking a run at your mom. I told you my dad's ex-wife at my parents marriage. That's crazy I forgot about wait what yeah, my dad's I think I. I told you my dad's ex-wife at my parents marriage. That's crazy. I forgot about what yeah my dad's

I think I've told you this my dad I don't think we've ever talked about on the show But like he's mentioned that in passing that my dad's ex-wife came to my parents Why wait what and gave them an omelet plate as a gift like a like an omelet pan to cook on and was like He makes fantastic breakfast doesn't he? like an omelet pan to cook on and was like, he makes fantastic breakfast, doesn't he? Like, what a wild move, dude. Was it Joan Collins?

I wish I knew who that was. Who's Joan Collins? Give it a Google. Very famous actress in the 80s. She was on a hit show called Dallas. Ah, I think. Okay. I should have said Eliza Minnelli or that Bette Midler, who's just an all around talent. I know you know who that is.

Of course, lover. Not Tracy Allman, though. She's a showstopper, that lady. You might have told us that. But that's worth revisiting. That's crazy. Yeah dude. How long were they married? A couple years. Both my parents were. No kids? No previous kids? No.

Really? Young? Yep. Wow. 80s. Huh. I know. Why was she at the wedding? Uh, I guess they were still cool. I don't know.

Hmm. It was the 80s I mean listen that's my ex or my wife's now that ain't getting getting invited to the wedding and I'm lit pan yeah man that's saying something without saying that's oh that's some shade yeah well everybody knows what that's about is on a hand already used rubber or something like that fucking butt plug like hey Take me a lot of good Yeah, that's crazy wild That's and my parents told me way too young I didn't get it I should have never told you that ever

Yeah, I remember them telling me maybe like what's nice ladies great pan and later on I was like oh that was about banging Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, I wouldn't have let my kids use that. That wouldn't have made it to that. That would have been left with the leftovers. No, yeah, I don't want my kids eating up that I'd. Dude, there's no way my mom would allow that in the house. No, that pan is in the house to this day.

Dr. D whips his egg. That whore's cookware. Yeah, whips his egg. The niece would not be having that. Whips his eggies up on it still. Uh- he still has it oh yeah what oh yeah of a freak it's a really good pan must be a good pan great bit hell of an omelet crazy that's not stood all right Jesus Christ all right this is uh this one's from smashing Blumpkins.

I think we've mentioned that name before I feel. This one hit me, this has me dead to right. Is it trashy to applaud or cheer for something by just raising your plastic cup of beer in the air? I did it when we went to the baseball game in Boston. You can't clap when you got a full brew when you got a glugger. So you just gotta wave that. USA! Is the holding the cup in your teeth and doing the T-Rex clap? Yeah, I've done that. You only get two or three claps out of that because that starts shaking, that starts swinging.

That's bad news. Do you know anybody that does this instead of clapping? Snaps? Yeah. That was one of the original AYG, one of your original AYG questions. Does anybody know anybody that snaps? Punch you in the face.

Or says cheers instead of thanks. Oh. Yeah, no, I don't think yeah, that's that's if you can that's jazz club shit, yeah Not for me, which I hate jazz, dude. I hate the musical basketball team Ever since I got rid of stock and I'm out Never liked that Karl Malone. Mailman, get out of here. That was the first time.

You don't like Coltrane or you don't like Miles Davis? No. No kidding. I'm uncultured. No, I don't know. I could, you know. That's not the jazz that they were playing. I hated the jazz club in high school.

Those kids were nerds. And they were dicks too the jazz club in high school those kids were nerds I couldn't get it a bunch of bubble gummers Not getting into the groove and we're gonna do this let's do this You got to go down south and play the circuit for a couple of weeks come back with some scars He got glad you got black glances. Oh you're staring up to the left Give me a little dabble do me. I just got to get straight living in an apartment in Harlem together You got to live it, baby, herbie Hancock style Charlie Parker Parker, what are we doing here? Oh, dude, some sophomore's foaming at the mouth.

Yeah. Fuck it. I told you, man. Hey, Jimmy couldn't handle it. That's his problem. As you're grabbing his money and stuff. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha scrounging a bunch of shit to get out of the apartment. The teacher's shortchanging us on the money on the road. You son of a bitch. Showbiz, baby. The cigarette's just burning real slow.

He can either wait here till the cops come or you can get on. I think we're just doing the Ray Charles movie at this point. Oh, I never saw it. Really? You never saw Ray? I've ever seen it Man Great and I mean everybody killed Yeah, I just remember him he wants to get paid in so he can count them ripped off to respect. Yeah, no kidding He's out there by himself. That's nuts. Yeah hated the jazz club though. It was always pussy shit bullshit. Yeah, I

Real I auditioned to get in and bombed Horrible, what were you doing the bass? I couldn't read music And you had to read music so I took it sure I took it to the god man unless you feel it, baby I was not feeling it dude. I I literally was so on for my mom had made me. She's like, you got to get involved in something. You got to do something. Not heaters. You never played a high school sport or were in a club or anything like that.

Club? No. So you were we were we were skating. We skated. You were out of school three o'clock. Out of school, three o'clock. Huh. Never had to go in early for anything bagel bites by 330 like a gentleman Elio's banging uh Yeah, no, we were fucking we started smoking weed early

That was yeah, that was all that yeah, we weren't uh No choir What? theater no key club Yeah, we weren't... No, choir. What? Theater. No. Key club. What, everybody do key bumps in the bathroom? I think it's key club.

I never knew what the... Glee club. Glee club. No, there was a key club too. Yeah. There was. For swingers. No.

Upside down pineapples. Don't you call it the freaks. Dude, but at this audition, man, upside down pineapples. You caught it the freaks. Dude, I but at this audition, man, I had I I learned maybe the first I'm not even joking the first 20 notes I just had memorized. I couldn't read them. OK, I just had them roughly memorized. So I like fumbled through them.

And then, dude, it was just like boom, boom. through them and then dude it was just like boom-bam-boom. It sounded like someone threw a guitar down a stairwell dude. It was a bang-boom-bang-boom. The inspiration for the lawn order theme. I was just guessing. I was just guessing. I knew like one, I knew like every sixth note or something so I would just you know I just feel it until I got to the ones I knew And was so sorry. I only read Spanish music. I Don't know if I told you I did that with a band when I I had a bass When I was up here and I couldn't get anybody to play with For me for me to play guitar so I try to get into a band playing bass and they were happy your full

for me to play guitar, so I tried to get into a band playing bass and they were having... Was your full plan was to get in... and if I know you, your full plan was to get in, play him bass, and then nudge out the guitar player and lead singer? Yes. Yeah, okay, just checking. Very, get in. Not even that, just for them to start doing my songs. And I tried that that night and they wanted nothing to do with it. Yeah, you don't say.

Yeah. Uh-huh. I started playing one of mine and the drummer went, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom with it. Yeah, you don't say yeah, I Started playing one of mine and the drummer went real quick Thanks, like a rap on that can pussies Gotcha on the key club yeah, okay high school student members of key clubs perform acts of service in their communities such as cleaning up parks, collecting clothing, and organizing food drives. Yeah, whatever. That wasn't me, man. Which to me sounds like a national conspiracy for free labor.

Yeah. Yeah. No, we were very much... Killing prisons. Yeah, get these nerds over here and fucking clean up this highway. Make these fucking... No student council president. No.

Rush chairman. In high school? Safety patrol. We were in sixth grade. We had to be safeties. Yeah. Yeah. To cross the kids. You had to do that.

Get the badge. Had a prime time spot. Might as well have been a no show job. It was all right. I was right by the bus. Get on first. Hit the back of the bus. I'm back there.

You're supposed to get everybody on. Not when they call your bus. They call your bus. You got to get to get Jimmy forget Jimmy missed his buzz. That's his fault Took a uniform off and threw down your rifle. Uh-huh. Yeah, we abandoned those children safely. Yeah No, it was very much. Yeah heater. It was skateboard. It was it was skating video games It just got real big at that time.

That's fuckin' PS1, PS2, Xbox type, yeah, nobody, I mean, we just didn't wanna fuckin', that wasn't our vibe. I was primetime good after school commercials too. I was TRL was big. I remember my mom just being like, you don't do anything. I just didn't.

Fuck yeah, shit was for the birds, buddy. When you're drinking my Slim Fizz, get off my game. I didn't even do my homework. I didn't do shit. I just wanted to- you kept going, you can't just hang out with your friends, that's not a life. Hey, jokes on you, Toots. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Kippys winning, baby. Paid for your dinner last week. I remember being like, you can't you can't make a living out of fucking hanging out. Well, welcome to the clothesline, baby.

We're hanging. Cheers. Thank you, though. Take that, Denise. Oh, that's so fucking good. Okay. Uh, all right now $10 homies a garbage if your mom for your mom to make hot dog salad shredded lettuce cut up tomatoes red onions Pickle slice hot dogs and a mustard vinaigrette. I feel like you'd probably get behind it to me that that ain't my kind of diesel It's cold Sounds cold The hot dogs I assume I mean shredded lettuce. Yeah, the hot dogs are cooked shredded lettuce Yeah, it's got to be a cold cut up tomato. That's a cold day. Hit me again

Shredded lettuce cut up tomatoes red onions pickles Hot dog and a mustard vinaigrette, so it's just like a salad with fucking chopped up hot dogs essentially You know a little bit of flair on it. Hmm That I would definitely take a run at it It doesn't feel like that would try to get it up a little bit That sounds like I'm eating all the hot dogs out of it. I got a bowl full of lettuce Yeah, that's where I would be also like hot dogs and lettuce don't go great to me in my head. It's not like a

That ain't what I want. That sounds like an iceberg do that's exactly what I pictured now You just throw some ground beef on there. You got a taco salad You've been saying it all the time Good what's it from again arrested development? Yeah, Carl others Two things are said in the sentence together yeah Always putting a list together of things you're about to do are you gonna tie your shoes and go outside smoke You got a stew going babe. I'm not doing it on our premise though Just so good cuz David cross on the second one is just pouring his heart out to him He gave him like his last Never spent one dime is that per diem it's a raw vegetable

Yeah, I don't that doesn't sound great That sounds like I mean if you got hot dogs just have hot dogs and then a side salad to me. For some reason you lost me on the vinaigrette too, but I do like the hot dogs and things. I love a beanie weenie. I love hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. That is significantly different. I know I'm just saying like that. You can't even that's not hot dogs in something like this isn't hot dog. This is hot dogs in a completely different. Okay, you ready? hold on hot dogs in a side salad whoever's ordering that is lying to themselves the Chicago dog yes sir okay you would have the green relish you'd have a tomato you'd have pickles what am I missing I'm missing sports

peppers okay you're missing football white. Okay. You're missing celery salt. I love a celery salt. And I think we're good. Okay. That chopped all up. Mustard. That chopped all up. Yes. With the sliced up hot dogs cooked.

Oh, yeah. In a wrap? Sure. I've done that. I didn't slice up the hot dog, but I've done a Chicago style hot dog taco. Okay. Well, that would make sense. The lettuce is where you less is bad news for me. I'm sorry. Nothing worse than melted lettuce. Dude, I they put that I stop ordering on burgers or if they

said I just take it all. It's like it's unless it's very of fucking sturdy piece of lettuce. Now ruins. It just fucking gets all soggy of lettuce. Now it ruins it. It just fucking gets all soggy and watery. What are we doing? You go to a nice joint and they give you that bib lettuce. That's all right. That's what I'm saying.

Nice piece of bib. Yeah, should all be bib. I've been tucking it in the top of my shirt before. Iceberg. What are we doing? I never understood that. No. It's like biting into dirty water.

Mm hmm. Although a nice piece of iceberg on a BLT. I don't. All right. I'm out on that. It's like biting into dirty water. Although a nice piece of iceberg on a BLT. I don't. All right. I'm out on that. Okay. I'm out on that. Kippys out. All right. Let's see. We got time for one more. This is Hulk Hoagie. Oh, that's good. Hulk Hoagie. Hulk Hoagie is all right. You. That's great. $10 fiscal executive here. Never had one red. Gentlemen. Is a garbage spot clean your car with Windex and not just the windows?

I'm talking body. No. Oh, the car outside. The problem I have as someone who's done this a lot. The main problem with that is you spot clean. Let's say you go through the mud or something that you got a little bit of spray by like on the door panel from the wheels or something.

Okay. You go to spot clean that, typically the rest of the car ain't clean. So like I had my white Lumina, I would spot clean and then there would just be like a real... I don't know this term spot clean. Like you're not wiping the whole door down, there's just a stain on the door so you're like wiping that off. Okay, but then you wipe that clean so then it's like like on my white car would be like Dirty and then like a real big bright white spot. So it ended up looking worse. Yeah, you see what I mean? I thought he meant the polka dot

I thought he meant the inside because the inside of a car the Windex is not just for the windshield It's for everything Windex. I mean that's that was like a big thing for my big fat Greek wedding Or whatever like Windex is a multi-purpose except for wood Okay, we clean I've cleaned this with Windex. Have you yeah Windex is perfect Windex is just like got a little bit of fucking you know But I'll say this not too harsh Windex or glass cleaner is the only, if you use other multi surface cleaners on a mirror, it streaks the shit out of it. Windex is the only thing that gets the mirror nice

and nice and clean on glass. Does that make sense? I would have to push back a little bit being as someone who's used all that. I'll just use 409 on a mirror. Oh, 409. That's for screw. That's the scrubbing bubbles there. Ain't it? That's for toilets and shit. You can't be using that on a mirror. Oh 409 that's for screw. That's the scrubbing bubbles There ain't it that you can't that's for toilets and shit You can't be using that on a myth or a nice a multi-purpose cleaner D greaser yeah, that's not I mean sure I'm talking more of like I like that fantastic. That's alright

Yeah, that's pretty good smells good Lemony yeah, I used to like a pine soul back. Oh, I fucking I bought a jammed. We were real jammed up on hand wash on hand soap at the crib. Boy, it just ran out the watered it, you know, everything just kept. It was one of those things we kept forgetting. I'm like, what do we need for the apartment? And we just kind of need to get back. You're like, fuck. I bought that. Uh, Mrs.

Myers or whatever was on sale short at my local, at my local, at my local. So the hand soap couldn't. Yeah. Couldn't find, uh, I only, there was only two flavors. I guess they're not flavors. There was two cents. I'm listening. Dandy lion and fresh cut grass.

What are you picking out of that? I'll probably going fresh cut grass. That's what I did Smells like I've been landscaping all day and fucking dude. I like I like take the dog for a walk You know picking up poop whatever I come back. I'll wash my hands then bite into a sandwich It smells like I'm eating the fucking it's horrible It just smells like you've been landscaping all day. Does it smell like fresh cut grass? Yeah, not in a good way. Yeah, but that's not natural.

I thought that shit was supposed to be natural. There's no way that, unless they have grass... It smells like I'm about to have an asthma attack. That's what it takes me back to, I swear to God. We gotta wrap it up, gang. Gang, what a fun time, what a fun app. Love the family apps. Yes.

Come see us out there on the road. All tickets available at REgarbage.com. A lot of new shows. We're announcing a new run of shows coming up as well. So be prepared to get those tickets to a bunch of cities. A lot of cool stuff planned coming up. Yeah, a lot of fun stuff, gang. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace. Peace.