Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Moving Weight w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Fum: https://www.tryfum.com/garbage Promo Code: garbage Mando: https://shopmando.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Manscaped: https://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hachi machi Redback, New Jersey. The boys are coming out to the Count Basie Theater August 17th, one of the biggest shows we have ever done. So grab the squad and come on out for a little AYG live. And that ain't it. In September, we're doing the Route 66 tour. We're starting in Chicago, hitting St. Louis, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Albuquerque, New Mexico, Flagstaff, Arizona, Las Vegas, Nevada and Los Angeles. We got a bus. We're going a whole way.
Starting point is 00:00:25 10 shows in 12 days, we're filming the whole thing. Get your tickets, we'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:54 This is R U Garbage. You know it. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're going to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash.
Starting point is 00:01:04 I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a sweltering day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She got the first big Pico bill of the summer. That's the power company down in the south. Don't laugh. Yeah, and she is none too happy. If you notice, it's a little little bommie in here, a little warm. She's not doing the AC.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Okay, put the fan on you when you go to sleep and the windows open. Mm-hmm She's sleeping at her boyfriend's you know, give me yet. My co is coming at you from across the table Yeah, a little amuse this week. Maybe a little bit I got chuckle out of him with the heat all that stuff or more of a nervous energy This guy's bomb This guy's bombin'. Yeah, good, man. Jesus Christ. He's the CEO of RU Garbage.
Starting point is 00:01:50 He is an international businessman. And he's the king of the boardwalk, baby, in the summertime. So look out. You see him over there at Sam's Pizza. Treat him with a little respect. Somebody get the big man a popsicle or something. That guy's on the fritz. Hot in here, huh? Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Starting point is 00:02:06 What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are true. Cooking. Doing OK.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Then obviously, my favorite website of all time, www.patreon.com slash rugar. But you go over there, you get all the bonus content your little heart could ever desire, baby. I'm talking weekly bonus episodes ayg I'm talking weekly episodes of hard feelings I'm talking all the videos we've made over the past four years got me about 3040 of them Jones on air a lot going on over there check it out and then obviously are you garbage.com for all your live show needs baby we got a big one this summer at the count Basie theater in Red Bank, New Jersey, August 17th. Get your tickets. And obviously the Route 66 tour Chicago to L.A. The boys are making the goddamn journey. Well, a little over a month away from the account.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Basie did that'll be our biggest show. Uh, yeah, I mean, yeah. Uh, yeah, something like that. It's very close to town hall, which was our biggest show. A beautiful theater. Be you come out and see the boys. And how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire? That magic man makes us all look good.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours. He crosses the T's and he dots the I's. It's T-Bone McMuffin. Toby McMullen, everybody. What up, boys? What up, T-Bar? Is that a race car shirt? No, it's a gut bust.
Starting point is 00:03:20 It's some Atlanta hardcore band. OK. A fan gave it to me at the show. Oh, very nice. Yeah. Was it worn? No, it just. It's some Atlanta hardcore band. OK. A fan gave it to me at the show. Oh, very cool. Yeah. Was it worn? No, it just it was new. It washed nice. Oh, I love an old T-shirt, man, that I would get from like an older cousin. Sure. It had a little bit of their smell on it. OK.
Starting point is 00:03:36 I like that. Yeah, I like that. Their laundry detergent that their mom used. It was nice. It's a good time. There you go. You got that. Anyway, I had something I want to tell you guys about. What can we do for you, Toby? Our doors spike strips over here. Our doors always open to you, my friend. I mean, you just opened a portal to 1974 in your brain.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Yeah, you were you were somewhere else. I was complimenting the gentleman on his T-shirt. You were rooting through your aunt's drawers, not your aunt by blood, either. If you catch him, I drove a little freaky naughty. I wasn't, I wasn't. Check in, will ya? That wasn't wrong. What?
Starting point is 00:04:14 If it was an aunt by marriage, you do a little peeking. It ain't right. I'll tell you that much. Uh, it depends if, well, listen, if that ant came into your life as you were Like if you were born and that's your aunt that's your blood and that's sure that you don't know any different that is that is Introduced as your aunt, but there might have been a divorce or two All of a sudden the new model comes rolling off the lot. Sure fair game I was fair and loving war baby and incest don't leave me alone with her to cook out. I'm saying
Starting point is 00:04:48 Yeah, goddamn athlete. I had a I would tell you I was driving down the shore with a friend of mine And his aunt was driving us down there. I tell you this man We she was a piece a nice Hot hot and then we're driving down one What a fellow are you old enough to know? She's out of my league. This is like a couple summers ago This was Memorial Day She starts talking about how she got breast implants and and I was like dude. I was slipping out of my seat
Starting point is 00:05:27 I was like lady. You're fucking killing me down here. I got these goddamn hormones bumping through me You're talking you're talking about a set of fake hands now. I gotta look I gotta see the doctors anywhere licking goldfish dust off your fingers. I don't say yeah fucking real embarrassed I got the big bag of combos at the gas station Could you go to Gorman? He's good Yeah, we got two or three a couple of those and in the mix there a couple of people that my dad might have worked With that got divorced that got you know New lady friend float new eye candy new eye candy. I didn't mind showing it off either
Starting point is 00:06:03 Yeah, you know who hated those broads? The wives. Sure. Young Trollope coming in, fucking all the men oogling at Thanksgiving. So Dave, how's Sandy doing? Do you still talk to her? I had a couple of, I have a couple male cousins who are older, who are still good looking, but like at their time
Starting point is 00:06:26 Sure, really good-looking dude sure really cool Good-looking like pulled tail very accomplished athletes and stuff like that man in some of these broads If I was still younger to they'd be bringing them her own for thanks. Yeah Just fucking sitting there with peas falling out of my mouth man. It was alright hoping to pull her in the Pollyanna I'm sitting next to Kristen what? You have pudding on your shirt I was like that have any pie thought it was poop. I thought I thought I thought it. I thought you were talking to me Like an eagle eye over here fuck you broadcast in broadcasting. Bringing up old shit. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:07:26 In school newspapers. Shut up. I'll throw an exit on it next time. Ha ha ha ha. When was the last time you were driven in a car by someone, like when's the last time you were in a car where your mom was driving? Oh, she don't drive.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Do you allow that? No. Maybe if I'm drunk after dinner, I'll drive to dinner if like yeah, I'll do yeah I mean I've had to do that the burbs what coming out of Murna's Cross-eyed hidden Patty with a no-look keep that happened that happened at Scugy's over there She's got to move this seat up like crazy. Big fella was driving this before you, huh, hon? Like, Hightower was driving it. Yeah, I'm big on my mom.
Starting point is 00:08:11 I'll drive. And I'm even good with that with my wife. I'll drive there, which is a very dirtbag behavior, because she don't really booze. The dirtiest. So I'll drive there. And then it's like, it's pretty bad. I'll walk into like a Christmas party or whatever,
Starting point is 00:08:23 or like when I know all the fucking, all my boys, all my cousins, everyone's there. And I know if I'm a little late, they're already here. Take my keys and put them in the microwave. Make sure that fob don't work. She'll I'll toss her the keys on the walk in and then ignore for like six hours. I'm like behind the bar holding court. Yeah, Patty's always good for that Patty Maybe a half a gin and tonic once in a great while always ready to hop behind the wheel She's a good wheel man. Sure. Oh, yeah when uncle Hank drops for dinner
Starting point is 00:08:56 They see likes her niece. He likes her white wine. So, you know, it depends, you know A lot of times she's like if we go to my brother's sister, she'll just crash there I'm taking an uber home in the suburbs like a jerk off that guy some guy deliver He shows up. You put it in. It's like hey. I'll be there in 88 minutes. He shows up There's kids in the car. What the fuck is this? I gotta drop this calamari off real quick Here's a second stop. Tommy. What can we do for you? I apologize. Oh all good, bro. What's going on? I just had a little bit of a you know sometimes you get a nice little treat something that comes out of nowhere like what a You're just saying stop. Tommy, what can we do for you? I apologize. Oh, all good, bro. What's going on? I just had a little bit of a,
Starting point is 00:09:26 you know how sometimes you get a nice little treat, something that comes out of nowhere, like what a pleasant surprise? Sure. Something small that just changes your whole day. Did I call you or something like that? Oh, certainly not. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:36 That's when you don't call me, that's my little treat. I said, oh, his phone must be dead. Is that right? So I switched it back over to the cauliflower pizzas because I'm lying to myself. Trying to tighten it up. Sure. Bust open... They're good!
Starting point is 00:09:48 They are good! They're good. Bust open a nice little frozen pizza last night. California Pizza Kitchen? I think I know where this is going. Kali Power. Take a shot, please sir. The cardboard?
Starting point is 00:09:58 No. Okay. They got rid of the cardboard on the bottom. I guess they're cutting cost. Sure. All the cheese and stuff is shaking off and you gotta put it on top. No, no, this was a nice thing. That's an enormous good thing. Oh, a nice thing.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Had the little ottoman in the middle of the pizza? Oh, ottoman in a frozen pizza? Maybe they're pre-gaming, I don't know. Are you trying to take this company? There was a 20 bag in there. Oh no, but that, I mean, now we're dreaming big. I can't be with them, I'm on the edge of my seat here. What was it?
Starting point is 00:10:22 Some mess up at the factory double cheese. Whoa You shouldn't just get a dead an extra cheese. Absolutely not. I ordered the same but I ordered four of the same one Ordered this guy's prepping a cigar. You don't go to the store. I like you not really really next to the school and by law It's within 50 feet by law. It's within 50 feet. My hands are tied here. How am I supposed to eat? Can somebody move this playground? I'm starving. I'm not looking, that's all right. So what organization do you think would be letting fly willy nilly like that? They're not going to notice their bottom line with a double cheese order? Here's the thing. The more I go through life, the more experience that I get as an aging man, I realize... What have you learned on the couch?
Starting point is 00:11:20 A lot. A lot. A lot. Let me know. My goddamn recliner's brokeners broken learn at Johnny Sack really had it coming in season five. Sure. There's not really anybody tending the light at the end of the tunnel regardless of the organization of how trusted you think they are. All right, or it doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:11:44 There's so just think. I don't know. I don't want to disparage anybody. No way. Let's just say this is the new format. Edgy go after Costco or whoever. Stouffer's everybody deals with certain. Hey, a whole shipment was wrong.
Starting point is 00:12:02 The machine didn't work. It got two pepperonis. It got this it got that I'm just using stoves as an example. It's a great company. I love their French bread pizza and their lasagna Don't get me wrong. I was using them in the royal sense. You understand what I'm saying the royal sense But sure, you know what? I mean your name names you fucking narc. We've gone over this on patreon. You're a rat bastard You're a fucking Karen, dude. You're writing letters to fucking Johnny Stofer. And he dirtbags at Burger King.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Let me tell you something right now. Mistake my ass. It happens all the time. There's no...the quality control. But this was the opposite. This was a mistake. That's still quality control. You think they want to be giving out double pizzas
Starting point is 00:12:44 to some dirt balls I even walk into the grocery store. Yeah, but the good folks at Wegmans got it like that, bro Wegmans. Oh, yeah, you're from a Wegmans in Queens. Yes, sir. Was it from Long Island? That's like a couple miles away. It's close. It's got to be long a couple miles away. It's probably Long Island You know, I never really Queens might as well be fucking Connecticut take a walk get some fresh air go to the store wander around. They're a weird bird take one of your edibles. Whoa I'll take two Yeah, go to the store
Starting point is 00:13:16 It's nice extra cheese I got I got something for you not an extra cheese guy on the frozen pizza Not really an extra cheese guy pizza believe they're not or not. I know it's an unpopular opinion. I don't mean to cause any trouble. I don't disagree, I'm right there with you. I'm with you too. I know we're in the middle of an election year. But getting hit with the double cheese
Starting point is 00:13:31 makes me feel like everybody's skimping. It was delightful. I totally get it. I'm right there with you. I went to, have you ever had to show your apartment? Like an apartment you were staying in and then you were like, the lease is up and you had to show your apartment, like an apartment you were staying in and then you were like the lease is up and you had to, so I was someone's gonna come in at noon
Starting point is 00:13:49 to look at it, like the tenant, like new possible tenants. Have you ever had to do that? No, but we had to do it when we were looking for the old apartment that we had and we came across this hive of dirt bags. Dude, I went to one the other day that was like, I was like, they were like mid-meal, like they like scared out,
Starting point is 00:14:08 like there was dirty dishes everywhere. I might've told you about this. They had to drink soda. Years ago, but the broad still brings it up, that she's like, I never wanna feel like those people. There was this dark, dingy apartment, and they were in there, The place smelled like weed. It was all smoked out and we rolled in and they were huddled around a pizza
Starting point is 00:14:30 with it, with a two liter. I think they were sharing the two liter. I didn't see any cups fucking poking forks. Get out of here. This is my double G's. It was it was a first floor apartment. Oh, OK. But and hold on. But but it had the basement window. The windows were high. It was probably like a little bit lower like it was an underground. It was it was a
Starting point is 00:14:50 big pre war building out in Queens. But for some reason it had like the slit windows up top. It was so dark in the territory going to come out. It looks like a place where you get the goddamn Alamo like Vaught owned it. That's where they created Homelander That's what it looked like it was dark and dingy in there and they were holding around a pizza and they were shocked that we Were there and they were trying to be like they were like trying to be like as if they were having a party Oh, you guys want a piece of pizza or something like that?
Starting point is 00:15:18 Then at some point we walked through the living room and the girl knocked over the two-liter into the pizza Man, okay shoot some stuff. This is all I had. God damn it. Yeah, they were definitely getting chased out of that place. That reminds me, I went. What'd you look at yesterday? An apartment. Yeah. Yeah. Stunk. Nice building. Cool.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Like, you know, decent layout. Telling you, man, the devil, you know, it for sure now. This is a nicer building, but Still like one of those old pre-war fucking Washington Heights buildings, but you like walked in I was just like dude. I don't even I wouldn't have dinner here. This is fucking crazy It's a guy sharpening a knife. Yeah, I'm like you guys dude. There was the dog They had just give me an eighth and let me get out of here Now I gotta go the the car's double park. It's the dealer that wants to smoke with you.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Now I actually gotta wrap it up. I gotta go. They used to give me so much anxiety. I brought my own scale. You seem cool, but you know how it is. I'm actually getting this for a friend, so I gotta make sure. That guy with his own scale. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Get out of here. The guy with his own scale shut up. I did I had a year allegedly I had you know Sold small denominations of marijuana at a time in college right now allegedly for me. I did that shit Family program for the purposes of YouTube monetization Yeah, let's talk about Mando Oh that man though talkando. Let's talk about staying fresh and clean all day long. Gang, simplify your travel with Mando's 4-in-1 Acified Cleansing Bar. It's a five ounce bar that does the work of shampoo, face wash, body wash, and deodorant. Woo-wee! Clinically proven to control odor for 24 hours.
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Starting point is 00:19:19 with the code GARBAGE at manscaped.com. It's smooth sack summer, baby. Get on board or get left behind. Yeah. You were, I didn't know that. I was a pusher man. Really? Corner guy?
Starting point is 00:19:31 Champagne the snowman. Man, I bet you, you thought you were real hot shit. Not at all. Did you have a gun? Pusher man makes it sound like you're just cutting up outside of a pool I got my phone on me. I got my phone on me It was a way to make a quick buck I had friends who were of
Starting point is 00:19:56 Certain carried certain weight no pun intended in the in the drug traffic in so I assume you would front me this Okay, that was huge at the time. You're going to your economics class in a bulletproof vest Yellow Hummer. Got one of those G unit tank tops on. Hummer with the Lamborghini doors But a guy called I was a big point nine guy. You're getting point nine. You want a gram you're getting point nine and You're getting point nine. You want a gram? You're getting point nine. And uh... Did you have a scale and everything like that? I did, but this was...
Starting point is 00:20:27 Did you pack it up? Yeah. You have your titties out when you did it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm sure I've mentioned it at some it was it was uh we will you know we we we we we we would you like jay-z Sold loose he sold short grams of probably pissed his pants while he was doing it Couple times I did I did I did You would have I was looking out the windows before I even got the bag I'm not built off of the game, man. You're wound too tight, dude. I was looking out the windows before I even got the bag. I was like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:21:09 Man, that car's been there all week. They know about me. Guy, I got flashy. Guy this big, this flashy. I shouldn't have worn that black t-shirt. God damn it, I'm so stupid. Just some kid walking around the temple in a mink coat. Some kid at a police station getting grilled. They're like, give us a name. I'm so stupid just some kid walking around temple in a mink coat
Starting point is 00:21:31 Some kid in a police station getting grilled and like give us a name all I know is he goes by mr. Neptune The feds are gonna bring up any Rico charges or nothing it's all the bags have a Trident stamped on them. That blue kippy. The flat red freak strikes again. Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on. You got, listen, you got to tell me the whole story now. What semester of college is this? What are the payments for the books due? Not senior year, sophomore year.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Sophomore year? Yeah. Okay, and was it a situation, how many semesters did you do? Did you do it the whole year? Oh, a couple of times. It would be like, you know, everybody would be like kind of down on cash a little bit. So you would go to your buddies who had product
Starting point is 00:22:20 and you would say, hey, front me, and I'll pay on the backend. I assume that's what it was. Or were you paying up front? I forget either way? I don't know I think Maybe we got it on the front. I forget that's something you would be trustworthy Trustworthy with yeah, cuz I don't I don't dabble in the smoke. I don't dabble in it. Yeah, so that's what would happen This is I mean, I don't know how in the weeds we get here You know, I don't think anybody's looking for you That's what you think till they fucking get me and this whole thing comes down. You think you're pitbull?
Starting point is 00:22:50 How out of touch are you you think you're fucking MC Hammer vanilla ice or somebody Pitbull yeah, you know that big gangster rapper pitbull Mr.. Worldwide. I mean, you're an idiot. Um, everybody would get their own quantity. We would split a larger quantity. Okay. Right.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Everybody would you go in on, would you go out and get that? Would you be in on that pickup? That would come to the house. It was a boy. Am I? He would come to the house. Okay. And we'd be partying and we'd be, they them Like hey, yeah, yeah, he's like I'm coming down next week like you know
Starting point is 00:23:28 Bring them bring the goods bring your stuff bring that Graham will split it up Yeah, I had a quarter of a gram one time and I forget how this whole story started, but whatever so then everybody would have theirs my idiot friends would smoke most they were doing it To be like I Can smoke for free for those two weeks or whatever sure I'm like I'll sell half I'm gonna smoke half and then they come to fucking ah You'd wait him out sure war of a community deep waters
Starting point is 00:24:00 Hey Europa dope dumb thought you'd be around here eventually no and then up But I remember one time this kid gotta be dead by now He was one of those kids that dropped out of see probably listens actually drop you so who would call you up? Hey, man, I mean college so I would we'd be at parties and it'd be like oh just tell You know everybody's living it first of all everybody's living in houses of like seven or eight dudes I just tell the one dude at the house like yo, I got I got I'm holding And what would be the most you would have on you at one time? But just little grams, right? Yeah, we get like an ounce or two into and put it into grams 20 bucks 20 bucks. What how much are the grams?
Starting point is 00:24:38 I forget maybe they were 30 back in the day for a great for a good gram of weed She's we we sold him for 30, but it was right when good weed hit yeah, this was good weed But we what we knew we were told shwig its Man I would love to see your hand off doing their business Nelly Did the chicks know that you were in the game Sure, I guess. What are you talking about? He had screens and the back headrests.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Yeah, the fucking TVs of the loom. Someone with a gun under his pillow. This is the pepper grinder. But whatever, this kid came over. Tony or Nick? Greg? Greg I forget he was like a year or two older than us dropped out of college but still lived on campus still in my buddy's house we got a cool guy alert became a chef or not a chef became like a short order cook so he was always rolling around in the different yeah no I know I caught myself he was always rolling around in the chef pants you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:25:47 looking for a bag looking for a bag of shrubs who I've gotten fucked up with guys ain't been to work in two three days still got the pants on man there so We so he caught me one time. He had a scale or a scale showed up mid deal Well, I he was like, you know, I was I wasn't like standing on the corner like, you know Yeah, we read read read read or nothing. I was it was like kids would come over We'd have a heater whatever chill for a minute, you whatever it was so hey you fellas want to do some business Fuck me you think I got a briefcase
Starting point is 00:26:31 Open it up. It's one gram. It's point nines in there. The rest is your underwear One of those little bags. These are my snacks those little bags with the aliens on it Guys want any cheese it's or anything while you're here? They're probably a street cheese zone for sale. I don't even look at them. I can't look. Bring a soda that large to my house, you know I'm going to need a taste. These girls with you.
Starting point is 00:27:01 You're partying tonight? Don't be shy. Come on in. Patent motherfuckers down. Oh my god, but a scale appeared mid Transaction and I guess where the hell is that? Word and I guess where he traveled and I was beaten bags I'm gonna fucking give you point seven you got busted cold. Yeah, give it on point nine What is it ten one one? Yeah? That makes sense? Yeah, but it's a scumbag move cuz then it's like every ten that he sells it gets one more to sell yeah
Starting point is 00:27:41 That's product at the end stepping on this stuff fucking stringer bell I got a burner you need anymore just beat me bunch of baking soda around the house you're not even cooking call me the pyrex king little ruffle bag boy that's pretty good little ruffle bag boy
Starting point is 00:27:58 oh man and what did your boy say oh what the hell you know he's a guy that looks a little light i'm like nah i did it myself you're good you know and then whatever I got got I don't know if there was one on the taste something and he's like that's that's point nine dude or point eight whatever it was and I was like yeah my bad you know you might. Shoot him? I have loose ends. No I was embarrassed I probably gave him an extra half a G just to put this under the rug. I'm sorry, here you go. Tell your friends. You snake. Yeah, I wasn't cut out for the life. I don't know what you want from me.
Starting point is 00:28:35 I tried, I dabbled. I was an entrepreneur at a young age. It is what it is, you know what I mean? I've always been an end user. I'm well aware. I heard about you trust me with that shit But we got a gosh darn family episode gang as you know when you sign up for the old patreon down there We will answer your garbage question on the air the homies get the first crack at it. How you doing? This one
Starting point is 00:29:00 This is more of a hack. This is from J This is more of a hack. This is from Jay $10 goon never had one red $10 goon I like that is it garbage you use a prepaid card to book an Airbnb my homie uses a Venmo card to book so that If there's any extra BS charge, there's no money on the card. Does that work? I think so you can get a prepaid credit card I'm sure I just put a credit card down for something that you had to put a credit card down for but they don't charge you Until you check in ain't nothing on that fucker. Yeah, I respect that cuz like fuck Airbnb with all those charges and all those I mean Airbnb is killing themselves for sure. Yeah, we were a big Airbnb family, but all hotels They might be on to this
Starting point is 00:29:41 Probably yeah, they don't accept them. They got God a couple times I believe so is the Venmo credit card a prepaid card it can be I got a Venmo credit card look at you No, no big deal all that drug man the numbers come off that thing real quick like the The name and everything dude. It's like Two weeks, and it's a blank card. You can't read the numbers anything and shit like that Those things feel like they're exclusively for use at those Bitcoin ATMs that you see yeah, they're also I don't like it's vertical Like it's you know how like most cards are horizontal and they're like oh get out of here vertical And it's like like an underage license kind of yeah
Starting point is 00:30:17 I gotta be in by 11 that took me a minute with the amex that they put the numbers on the back Sure, I don't trust that at all then I realized that's rich guy shit put the numbers on the back. Sure. I don't trust that at all. But then I realized that's rich guy shit. Put the numbers on the back. The what you call code on the front. Yeah, it's just like you're just trying to be different. And it's a four digit code instead of a three digit code. Sure. What are we doing? Well, you ever you ever sign your name on the card?
Starting point is 00:30:36 No. I told you before, my mom growing up all had she had a picture, the picture. You had the picture on. Yeah, those are out now. Yeah. Nobody uses them. Yeah. I'm real lackadaisical with it. Everybody I feel it's like, do you remember like? Anybody can use anybody's credit card, right? Like if you go to a store, no one's asking for ID,
Starting point is 00:30:56 especially now with the taps and shit. I've never been asked for anything ever using like, you know, your my parents, if I had to like go to the store for them or whatever, or work, or I mean like how many times do Toby and Luke, when we're on the road of like, hey I'm going to get whatever, we give them, it's all the company, no one's ever asked for it, like no one's ever come back once of like, hey, they said I can't use it or whatever. Yeah, they used to. I think it used to be, was the move as they used to you have ID you have to have ID When do you have to have ID?
Starting point is 00:31:28 I've never been asked for fucking ID hotel. They asked you for ID. Yeah, of course renting a car But we use the same card for everybody. Yeah, they don't care Yeah, I think probably cuz like the technology of like catching it and canceling it before it goes through. Before, you would have to wait 22 days, get your statement and be like, oh, this charge at so-and-so isn't mine, but it's already paid, it's already gone through, that guy's going on the way. And now it's like, oh, that charge isn't mine,
Starting point is 00:31:55 that charge isn't mine, instantly. Think of how long the credit card company or the business had to wait to get paid from that. It's crazy. What do you mean? Like when it was, when you were doing that thing. Oh, the chong chong. Yeah. They had to then send those into the credit card company
Starting point is 00:32:12 to get charged and then get paid. That probably took like two months. Yeah, it sucks. Now out of the prime time, baby, take it how you want it. All right. let's see here This one's from Cliff ever cash in your change jug to pay the dentist for getting a tooth pulled God damn that ain't good, dude I had free dental pulls Yeah, as you know as a family friend. Uh-huh. I can't remember the last time I cash those are yanks, dude. Yeah Yeah
Starting point is 00:32:40 There they're yanking their yanking bones out of your face. Yeah, that's a smashing grab job for you. Yeah, they wouldn't. Yeah, there was no. It was always understood that I'm not. I can't do work on it. I pull it if you want. That was it. One time he did it. No Novakane because he was at an office where he wasn't really in that tight. He's like, I can't use any Novakane.
Starting point is 00:33:01 What kind of dentist isn't in an office that tight where he's not allowed to use the stuff? Because it was, hey, listen, they don't want me or me. He was doing it for free. Uh-huh, Jesus. Oh, OK. It was real loose anyway. I know the dentist's office don't have them, but I feel like they had like a C rating,
Starting point is 00:33:17 like a restaurant. Sure. Yeah. Great pending. Yeah, dude. Sweeten on some shit. Treasure chest is just stuff from around the office Staples the FDA's breathing down my neck like what? If anybody is you just came in for a drink It's all done by candlelight
Starting point is 00:33:40 All right, this one's from gut Cassidy never had one read $10 trash here My dad's invitations to his third wedding referred to him as big Dave and as his wife mean Mary. Whoa That's a fucking that's a real third wedding. Yeah, that's third wedding vibes. That's like we don't care. We're having fun with it She's a bitch. I'm fat. Let's go. That's got matching tattoo vibes written all over. That's a Vegas honeymoon or someplace that they like to go. Like they. Hey, we love. It's never an island or something. Yeah, Hilton had a good one.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Myrtle Beach. I loved Myrtle Beach. Loved it. It's a great time, dude. I love a trashy, good time. You like Dewey? Have you been down to Dewey? You never did that show in Dewey at the Starboard. I did with you, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:33 You did? I remember, that was one of the times where I almost really wanted to fight that guy in the front row. Do you remember that? Uh-uh. He was sitting there and just fucking being a dick, front row, great show shows great
Starting point is 00:34:46 Show on paper looks like it's gonna be a nightmare Cuz like it's chaotic, but they're all in there for the show, but it's it's a bar It's an active bar You would like Dewey Beach Delaware shout out to the starboard shout out to the starboard and then they go shows starting and you're like This is you you're sending me to the wolves here, but it ended up. They're all there. They've all paid they yeah They all pay attention. It's great. Just a guy doing the knife game between his fingers. You're not wrong He was sitting in the front row and like I made fun of him I'm I'm up there, you know be bopping and scatting to save my life here. It's going pretty well
Starting point is 00:35:16 He's were you still selling at the time or no? Made probably on the weekend. I probably beat this guy on a bag. That's why I feel like Mr. Point seven He he turned put a scale on my table watch him sweat He made me right when I came through the door you don't need all that That's when you pretend like you're a cop. Yeah he That's when you pretend like you're a cop. Yeah, he took a, I was riffing on him, whatever, you know, politely, not, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:49 and he took a bottle, he said in the front row. Oh yeah, bottle of ketchup. And he took a bottle of ketchup, opens it up, like the short squeeze ones, and was like, I'm gonna, if the next joke's not funny, I'm gonna fucking smash this and squirt you with ketchup and I Lost it. I was like dude. I'm like I'm not telling another fucking joke suck my dick get the fuck. I've lost it I think they came and got him out of there something. I was like I had stopped trying to be
Starting point is 00:36:24 Grabs a waitress? Everybody play it cool! It's one of those things where you feel so disrespected I will fuck your shirt up That stain don't come out either It's not even my shirt, it's my brother's shirt! Don't do it man! That's a crazy move
Starting point is 00:36:40 Isn't that insane? I was like fuck you! I felt so disrespected I was like I am no longer a comedian I want to fuck you I felt so disrespected I'm no longer comedian I want to fight you in a bar right now we probably rolled into that town on fumes we probably needed that kiss that night 100% shared a hotel couldn't meanwhile Foley would have just opened his mouth take the bottle with me. What do you got now, tough guy? Hey, guy's shirt rips off. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss down to that show New York to Delaware a toll issue no active credit card issue of whose Well who could yeah who was gonna put the deposit down and I think I think they had done it me Yeah, they had done it, but we were like if they don't
Starting point is 00:37:37 All right, I can get a hunch like we're gonna have you have to put cash down And it's always like double when that show really played ball man the hotel that they had Check in not even a not even hey eight doing it. I go here You go here the keys was a good time motel and then we were swimming in the pool in the motel I remember yeah for the show nice motel dipper. Yeah, I love doing Yeah, all right, we got I got never getting fucked up there too fucked up They had that patio outside where you can crank heaters. I feel like we stayed for a day or something like that We didn't leave the next day. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:38:06 I think we went down real early. We had that whole day. I forget. I don't know. We had a good time though. But I love that. I love the dirt bag summertime party. That kind of there's a car peeling out trying to be cool
Starting point is 00:38:22 block away. A lot of peeing in the pool. A lot of peeing in the ocean. A lot of peeing in the pool. A lot of peeing in the ocean, peeing in the lake. Yeah. I remember we went to St. Pete with my family and the only cab we could get for like, there was like 15 of us was this big like boat type thing.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Do you know what I mean? It's like a, imagine like a duck boat, but he drives around, he plays music, there's lights. And I was like, you're allowed to have beer? He stopped and got his beers. and I was like you're allowed to have be stopped and got his beers And I was like I just need to be in this car like I don't need to go to the restaurant I'm like, oh, that's just fucking by my whole family. This is the best. I'm like we are Three trash alcoholic. I like it. Um Alright, let's see here
Starting point is 00:39:00 Congrats to mean Marion was a big Dave big Dave and mean Mary and who's a Big Dave? Big Dave and Mean Mary. Mean Mary is a great nickname. And she can cook. For abroad. She can cook. Yeah. She's got a dip that comes around a Super Bowl. Oh, that's Mean Mary. Knock your socks off. But you know she's a sweetheart. Has minimum two crock pots. Yeah. Sure.
Starting point is 00:39:18 She, I picture with those old school, like, faded thin tattoos too, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. It's like a Tweety Bird or it says mean mayor or like big mayor or something like that I've got a lemon square recipe that'll blow your brains after a couple drinks he says he says some wild shit like you know what I was in cheap tricks tour bus one day didn't know about that or maybe he did that's why he likes her okay a little freak you know I'm saying all right whatever you say you get the third Big Dave didn't know about that, huh? Or maybe he didn't, that's why he likes her. Uh huh, okay. He's a little freak, you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:39:47 Alright, whatever you say. He's like, you get in a third marriage. You like the dirt. She seems like she's the woman who will be like, uh, don't, I'm nice until you cross me. You know what I mean? That, like, she is a sweetheart. Sure.
Starting point is 00:40:00 But she loses it and she don't mind telling you she loses it. Probably not afraid to send something back at a restaurant though. Oh, no, you gotta do it a little bit more. Me mean Mary's got that one drink that no one wants her to oh She got into the Sambuca. Yeah, no more. No more Soko for Mean mayor that's how she got her name mean mayor probably cooking wine She's into the Marsala Lookout can't this is fume shout out to fume baby Shout out to fume gang when you're trying to kick the old bad habits fume is the way to go
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Starting point is 00:42:25 Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca.ymx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. This one is from Barry Bon Bons. Is it garbage to really appreciate the quality of pavement you're driving on? Where I'm from the roads ain't so nice. That's good. When you're drawing as a driver,
Starting point is 00:42:53 you get on something nice, you go, oh, your shoulders lower a bit, you start, you know, it's clean living, baby. That's a goddamn home run game. That's all right. That's really good. It really changes what they just do this. The dial the volume knob goes up a little bit. Maybe a maybe a good pavement. SIG AC
Starting point is 00:43:15 gets about three degrees colder. I don't know why man there's there's stretches of the Jersey turnpike that I like. Yeah, clean living because there is a section The city the streets in New York are crazy sometimes brutes, but no good There's a specific section coming down second Avenue right near the Midtown tunnel the between 36th and 34th Street All right, it is it's like a Range Rover testing site It's just bumps. It's like they also have like they you're doing this for I swear to God for two blocks this huge manhole It's like not paved to rain. You just like some guys just truck it dude
Starting point is 00:43:54 It's gonna feel it on the bottom of the gas tank Cough I can't I can't remember his name this streets in Chicago Notoriously terrible potholes everywhere. This is a comic hammer a camera who do joke it was my favorite jokes ever was every street in Chicago notoriously terrible, potholes everywhere. This is a comic. I can't remember whose joke it was, but my favorite jokes ever was every street in Chicago looks like Seals face. Jesus Christ. She's still could be a listener. That's your favorite joke ever about bottles. Yeah. And you get on the show.
Starting point is 00:44:17 Well, talented artist. No one's saying that. Who would say that? I love a nice road. It really does. There's a really good scene in Seinfeld where Kramer adopts the highway So I'm curious yeah, and Elaine's he turns a two-lane highway because he adopts he personally adopts I'm sorry for lane for lane into a two-lane and Elaine the vault the the look on her foot. She's like whoo I go. I felt that fucking great
Starting point is 00:44:42 Oh, you're just it's not you don't have to be like super focused to look in here And you don't see it that much anymore. It's crazy You know, they're always working on it. Sure. There's a street by my apartment. They've been working on for like six years What the hell could it be? There you a photo in there. I saw this reminds as in the burbs not too long ago You know, I like they got to get the ice streets down there steamroller, right? I saw, this reminds me, I was in the burbs not too long ago. You know how like they gotta get the- Ice streets down there.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Steamroller, right? That's what they're called, the big, man, those things are- Great. Guy driving in the street, like he's going to another job, wherever it was, he's going to, they're doing like- He's driving that thing down the street?
Starting point is 00:45:20 Well, like he's, let's just say he's doing, I'm making up numbers, but he's doing first street and he's gotta get to fifth street. He's not gonna put it on the back of a car, like, you've seen them, he's doing I'm making up numbers, but he's doing first Street He's got to get the fifth Street He's not gonna put it on the back of a car like you've seen them or like a back or whatever driving Okay, you've never seen that. No, I don't think so. I've seen the bulldozer driving. Yeah same concept He's going to it I mean that bulldozer didn't leave the office and be like, alright, I gotta I gotta go 15 mile with the steamroller I figured you wouldn't be able to drive that on
Starting point is 00:45:43 Hardened paved streets because you could crack it or mess it up. That's how you get more work, baby. Guys out there shaking bushes. I don't know what to tell you. That's what I'm talking about. Good thinking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:53 No, I got it. Six months. I'll be back here. Yeah. What up, pussy? You got to think if he's driving on it to finish it. Yeah, but that's soft. That's soft road.
Starting point is 00:46:06 It's still it's still hot. That's why they use those things. I understand. I whatever unless this guy this guy went rogue. Whatever. He was he was banging a right kind of like a he didn't really stop either. I get a lot of momentum on them dogs. I can't even I don't know how they drive dude.
Starting point is 00:46:20 He's banging a right heater in the mouth on his cell phone and I was just like, this guy is a goddamn professional. Whip and work. Did he have a suicide wheel? I couldn't tell. I was moving pretty fast. What's a suicide wheel? The little knob. The little knob? Ah.
Starting point is 00:46:35 I told you, Pat put one on it. It's like Gio Tersell. Why is that called a suicide wheel? I don't know, man, but Pat would. Yeah, Pat, if you know anything about my boy Pat a suicide wheel? I don't know man, but Pat would. Yeah, if you know anything about my boy Pat, suicide wheel on like a proper grandma car. I wouldn't mind getting one of those. That was the same car we used to take bags. Reckless in reverse. Sure dude, just whip in real work.
Starting point is 00:46:58 You got your elbow in there. That's nice. That, and he also, he worked at a car dealership and he got his hands on the Big Mac truck. Emblem? Bulldog. I love those things. And put that, had Vinny with the skinny fucking put that on the hood of that same car fucking. Fancy Fures was big at the time. That didn't, no he was an actual adult.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Alright. Alright let's see here. This one's from Fran. Any of your boys ever drink gas on accident? Jesus Christ. All right, let's see here. This one's from Fran. Any of your boys ever drink gas on accident? Jesus Christ. My dad was working on a lawnmower and had gas in a beer can. I did.
Starting point is 00:47:36 Anytime gas is in another receptacle, you're jammed out, you're playing, you're behind the eight ball. That's not even. Doesn't it eat through it? No, it doesn't want That's not even. Doesn't it eat through it? No, it doesn't want like a, like a water bottle. Gas won't eat through that. I mean, maybe if it's, I don't, not in the short term,
Starting point is 00:47:51 maybe if it sat for like, eat through it. Yeah, thought it would like melt through it or burn through it. No, I don't think we'd be using gas like that if it meld, if it would, if it was like. Corrosive. Instantly corrosive. Yeah, cause I feel like I've seen people stab holes in the top of a water bottle and squirt it on stuff.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Get the flames going. Yeah, we used to I mean back in my pyro days before I was pushing we would I dabbled in the fire in the flame trade. Fireman, fireman. Yeah, you always put gas in a water bottle or soda can or whatever. Yeah, never did that. Put in a soda can ever always in a proper receptacle. Really? Yeah. That is pussy shit. Yeah. I mean, I'm not doing it with my mom.
Starting point is 00:48:35 Get yelled at. I'm doing it with my fucking high idiot buddies. You get a hit off of that. We're lighting a hacky sack on fire and playing flame and hang. That's pretty cool. Yeah. That's a good time. Yeah. Got dangerous. My boy, my boy, Williams. I'll never forget them. They were cargo sweatpants went up in flames because they had all the little dust bunnies on them or whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:55 All the little pill in those things. I can. It was that flip house. Yikes. Game off. Are you going to sit this one out? Yeah. Yeah, that's brutal. Yikes game off Yeah, that's brutal yeah, I know When you're siphoning gas, that's a that's a tricky situation When you're when you're sucking it out of the hose sure that could get in your mouth My stepdad was big on that that like he would he would do that Yeah, not like stealing gas, but he was a mechanic like he was a mechanic
Starting point is 00:49:24 So it was constantly like he would build or like they were like building race cars and shit like that So it was caught dude. He would just wonder what gas tastes like wonder if it tastes the way it smells I Don't know wouldn't be that bad. Oh be two shots Yeah, I mean that's like does some dudes that live that mechanic life or like it's not us So they they're just way closer to those Fluids then up you know I mean they're they're emptying it out. They're putting it in they're fucking testing it They're not wasting gas not wasting these still a lot of gas in there mm-hmm All right this one's from Foley's chin hair
Starting point is 00:50:01 I don't know what that could be about. Never have one read. Is it garbage to say you're related to John Cougar Mellacamp because he married your cousin's cousin? That's. That's a win. I'm in. That's not bad. Your cousin's cousin.
Starting point is 00:50:16 So that's technically your cousin. By name. Doesn't get the love he deserves, John Cougar Mellacamp. The Coug? A lot of hits, man. People love him. Not a big Coug man. Liked a couple of the hits, but deserves, John Cougar. The Coug? A lot of hits, man. People love him. Not a big Coug man. Liked a couple of the hits, but.
Starting point is 00:50:28 Yeah, Coug man. You love Myrtle Beach. Yeah, I don't like the... Did he give himself Cougar? That's not a birth name, right? No, I think the record label gave it to him. I'm out. His name is John Mellencamp.
Starting point is 00:50:41 And I believe that he was young when he got started. See if you can get a... Johnny Cougar is what they called him. And then it was John Cougar Mellencamp and I believe that he was he was young when he got started see if you can get a Johnny cougar is what they called him and then it was John cougar Mellencamp and now I think it's just John Mellencamp I don't know if he was ever in love with it I would have never I mean you got to put your foot down as an artiste No, you're not calling me fucking the wasn't the way it was back then you had a bend to the fucking record company Otherwise, they wouldn't make I can't. I can't call himself Cougar. His manager dubbed him Johnny Cougar out of his belief that nobody would buy a record by anybody named Mellencamp. See, you fucking lose. That guy should be fired.
Starting point is 00:51:14 I made him a big star. What are you talking about? That's the way it was back then. What are you talking about? You act like you're like you were an A&R in the fucking 80s. Shut up. You were doing coke and trying to be doing children's theater actually you were in chess records ripping off Motown Yeah, what are you talking about? I got a writing credit on that up boys I don't put my kids through college. I get 25 cents every time my girls played Let's go Yeah, pay to play baby Yeah, dude. He's got a string of hits.
Starting point is 00:51:46 I just don't like the name, but. Jack and Diane, that was one of the first songs I remember hearing as a kid. I get a good song. Lil' Diddy, I get that, I'm with that. I just didn't, as a kid. He was right under Springsteen to me. What year did he come out?
Starting point is 00:52:01 He was in the. Oh, early 80s. Yeah, to me, like, as a... Maybe 79, 80, 81, we're talking. When was Jack and... When did Jack and Diane drop? Is that his first song? I might have had a couple. He was born in 51, so you would think 70s.
Starting point is 00:52:16 It's my mom's age. Whoop, hang on, everybody. Sure she knows him in the biblical sense? In the Christian sense. He dropped the Chestnut Street Incident in 1976. Even that name space. That probably wasn't it. When did Jack and Diane...
Starting point is 00:52:32 He went on a run, dude. See, he dropped albums in 76, 78, 79, and 1980. And then 82, 83. This guy's going back to back to back. That's when he was cooking. When did Jack and Diane come out? little diddy about your fat ass About America July 24th 1982 July 24th
Starting point is 00:52:57 1982 man that must have been an alright summer. I just have a bumping on the stereo What are you talking on? I was watching people run around couldn't find their friends They didn't have phones. Yeah, probably awesome. I didn't uh All that and I said this before but all that 80s shit as someone who grew in the 90s was like so old Like it was like so not it became so not cool in the 90s But did you hold on as a 90s kid put yourself in my purse? I understand. I'm talking shit on your generation I'm just saying as my perspective as a fucking eight-year-old. I'm looking back to me like that is Corny old part like that's not cool. Okay Morris. He stunk then and he stinks now I agree with that
Starting point is 00:53:38 Unless he wants to do the show now. We love that you shout out to this miss Every hot girl in high school at a poster that guy above their bed every single one um But you like the 70s music right as I got older yeah as I started appreciating music But like but now still you kind of have a grudge against the 80s music as an older person It just has that that I mean his think to you. Yeah, it's just got that like. It's fucking interesting shot in 2D to me. It's like, well, the way like this is in no war pigs.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Give me that. I maybe have a little bit of an issue with some of the stuff that came out, some of the musical scores and movies, the Yacht Rocky kind of vibe. I have a little bit of the same thing with that. I'll give you that. Yeah, it's just like it wasn't cool At the time when I Johnny cougar you didn't hear it on the cool radio stations I wonder you're like I'm sitting in the back of a fucking four Taurus looking for some weird out of stuff You always like the oldies Oldies are fucking and the oldies are the oldies still oldies for a reason baby sure you know what I mean classics
Starting point is 00:54:45 Uh got out to it. All right. I'll give it to you. That's all I'm saying I'm with you but yeah a cousin's cousin you can say you're related to the John I have a theory is the hot the bigger the star gets the more leeway I'll give you sure you know what I mean, but if you're like Hey, my cousin. I'm related to Big Marty from Big Marty's carpets because my cousin's cousins married on me like I don't know about that Well Big Marty's carpets, I give that we got them local celebrity plus not to mention the deals of Marty gives out Uh, I'm saying if it's like the one guy for me are that was in like two seasons You don't push that sure like we got a couple of bozos from our neighborhood
Starting point is 00:55:25 that Patty tries to claim. Who? A couple of people that grew up in our neighborhood that had some mild success in film and TV in the late 90s. Gotcha. Yeah. No need to name any names. OK.
Starting point is 00:55:38 Have you ever seen a little show called Hang In with Mr. Cooper? I love that show, dude. What are you talking about? That was the heyday at television. Mark Cooper was all right. Mark Curry, wasn't it? Mark Curry, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Mr. Cooper. Yeah, Mr. Cooper. He was like an ex-MBA player or something, right? Gym teacher, yeah. And then came back to be the basketball teacher. Always had the whistle. Yeah. It's great.
Starting point is 00:55:59 I told you, I've had a real love affair with my wife and kids. Great show. Man, the kid's great. Damon Wayne's. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. Kids so funny. Very Theo Huxtable. Sure. Yeah, he's great. Is it garbage if you buy a mattress that's worth more than your car? My uncle has a rusted out 2005 Dodge Caravan and bought a nine
Starting point is 00:56:21 thousand dollar sleep number bed. Those sleep numbers ain't cheap, dude. But. They really get you with those on TV. The sleep numbers? Yeah. I think as you start going, if you can manipulate it in your head,
Starting point is 00:56:34 I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a 72, I'll be a 78. I would never sleep. I would constantly be adjusting it. You're not wrong. And then I would just, it would be 69 every time, because I think it's funny. I'm a Helix man, and by the end of the day everybody knows that but can you get me the get me the price on a 2005 Dodge Caravan
Starting point is 00:56:52 Maybe I buy one um Just gotta be what 800 bucks thousand bucks a Five Dodge 2005 Dodge Caravan more than 800 2,500 out the door That runs and works think about how many cars are like that that run and work. That's what I'm saying 18,000 on cars.com what Toby that's not right. I'm saying a whale here Shut up Right this way. We want to Forge ease car facts for G's five G's six point four four point five
Starting point is 00:57:31 four G's for a 2005 Dodge Caravan 2800 2100 25 on six grand 13,000 how many miles? On which one let's look at this one 101 it's your turn in trade 5,000 165,000 yeah thanks looking good other 60 out of that right what do I look I never drink is I ain't no mechanic like you break Why are you breaking my stones for? I'm having coffee. For a minute,
Starting point is 00:58:12 Patty and Terry had, I don't know what it was. It wasn't a separate one that went up and down, but it did go up and down. This is probably maybe 2004 or something like that. It weighed about 7,000 pounds. I don't know how they got it in there But I remember we had to move it out it took like ten of us to get it out of there. Mm-hmm Yeah, you don't use them unless you're like real old and you want to sit up in bed It's got a hospital bed at that point. I think they're kind of there are hospital beds Made to look like regular beds. Yeah, you don't feel like you're in a hospital.
Starting point is 00:58:45 You don't emotionally feel like you're in a fucking hospital. I'm never in bed where I would be sitting up like that. Like, I never sit in bed like that. I would have might probably snore less for sure if I was propped up like that. We don't think you're sleeping next to Bubba. When they slept back to back, so we don't get to sleep with our heads in the mud. You and your wife's back the back so we don't get to sleep with our heads in the mud Did anyone in your family ever have the cart that went up the stairs the chair the lift chair Yeah, we pull into my grandfather's now we don't have any evil millionaires in our family
Starting point is 00:59:26 That thing is built for sliding up and as you're floating away. You just go. I've cut you out of the Now never had that we bought a used one we got it we got our hands 2005 Dodge Caravan $6,000 no we got our hands on one Lamborghini doors on it though It's got spinner. We're spinning rims And We had to you know make some my step file. We had to make some you know some Modifications some fat we had to fabricate some stuff to make it work accessible. Yeah, they're a little This one was for another set of stairs that we then put on their set of stairs
Starting point is 01:00:12 There's one for the pool So one of those G force testers As a kid you always wanted to take a ride in one of those things. What? The thing at the pool, yeah. Yeah, if it moved a little quicker, I would do it now, but that like, I feel like you're chum or something. I feel like they're lowering the crate for a great white,
Starting point is 01:00:35 you know, in the shark cage. Not happening. Ah, but that was a good time when that got put in. He would use it, and then he would only use it for the bags. He had too much pride. Okay. I put the suitcases on there,. You know, sure. I'm not you're not you know, sure But that was all right. It's funny as bad as my knees are now and still as young as I am. I see that I Forbid for what I'm talking about. I'm young but yeah, man, I
Starting point is 01:01:03 Mean I'll be no stairs and probably six seven weeks But now you think about that you you realize I remember when I was a kid like why the fuck do they all live in One first I never got that either. It's like it's a flight of stairs. You fucking lazy broad. What do you do? I? Didn't get it. You don't know quit dog in it. Yes, candy stale by the way I'll take my pudding now Yeah, they make name brand of this shit by the way, when's my mom coming back What anymore coffee pal You want any more coffee, pal? Is that a coffee, babe?
Starting point is 01:01:46 Oh, please, another episode of Jeopardy. Blow my brains out in here. Do you guys not get the Simpsons? Is that like an old person package or something? Hey, Pop Pop, you make it hotter in here? Jesus Christ! What are you saving it for? got a week left you're killing me Yeah, you see that a knife no stairs. Yeah
Starting point is 01:02:12 Alright, I don't I don't hate it. It hurts. I'd yeah for sure totally All right, let's see here This one's just a good time. This is from big chewy ten dollar home You never had one read is it garbage that my whole family was excited that the show cops was coming to our hometown Springfield, Missouri So we all gathered the watch this show just to see our aunt and her boyfriend running from the cops and getting tased And falls in the parking lot That's the best Yuck! Man everybody's a tough guy
Starting point is 01:02:51 Until that taser comes out Oh wee Go down like a fainting goat Oh that's good Those things are cute as shit Play impossible But we gotta wrap it up gang we gotta get outta here Gang we love you to death
Starting point is 01:03:03 Grab some tickets to come see us out there on Red Bag New Jersey and the Count Basie Theater and make sure you get your tickets for the Route 66 tour that starts September 12th in Chicago, Illinois. Yes sir. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace!

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