Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ms. Pat Returns!

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian Ms Pat! You know Ms Pat from Stand Up Comedy, The Breakfast Club, Club Shay Shay, This Past Weekend, the Joe Rogan Experience, Soder Podcast, Bertcast, Whiskey Ginger, The Big Podcast with Shaq, Ms. Pat Podcast and Ms Pat Settles It and much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Helix Sleep: Go to https://Helixsleep.com/garbage for 27% Off Sitewide. Exclusive for listeners of Are You Garbage? Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage BlueChew: https://bluechew.com Promo Code: Garbage Chubbies: Your Holiday wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code garbage at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don it, Pam. Listen, did you get your tickets yet for the Are You Garbage Show at the Met? Are you garbage with Kevin, Ryan, and H. Foley. The two I showed, yeah, the bold and the fat one. Yeah, them two. Yeah, they're at the Met. I know. Must be nice.

All fancy at the Met. Made it big, you know. But make sure you go on there and get your tickets because I know they're probably going to sell out quick, you know? And I'm telling you right now, I hope Aunt Toddy's there because guess what? I'm going to be having a conversation with her. That bitch owes me $80 from that beef and veer of Paddywax. Yeah, so I'll be having a conversation with her for sure. All right, so go online and get your ticket.

All right. So long. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Roe. Brian and H. Foley. Check, check, check.

Hey, Miss Pat. I like to be yelled at. A bit of a freak, miss Pat. You and me both. Well, I used to be a freak right now. If I get freaky, I get stuck. It's just shit I can't do no more. You know what I'm saying?

To get to this cat, I got to hold back my stomach like you don't open a hood on a car. So it ain't too much I can do like I used to do. Okay? Back in the day, I would throw that thing. Now I just lay it down. And you have to walk into it easy. Like a warm bat Yeah, so sometimes it's been a while

Hey, everybody out there And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast This is RU Garbage It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find it after you're going to be classy Yeah Just a big old piece of trash trash trash I'm your host stage fully coming at you on a beautiful day

We're out back here at Tootty's in a new edition She had a long night at the track Okay And I'm not talking about the 50 by 50 I'll tell you that right now She is, okay, fair enough. That didn't work. My co-s is coming at you from right next to me.

He's the CEO of Arue Garbage. Sometimes he's just kind of give up everybody. You know what I'm saying? He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman of my best pal in the whole wide world. I just bombed in front of him. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

What up, gang, shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, we've been for your rate review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify. And then the greatest website of all time, www. www.com slash RU.

garbage you go over there to get all that bonus content gang and that and last but not least it's already cut you off please December 13th philadelphia let's go theater the boys are coming on get those takeies now yes sir and gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and i mean incredibly special guests back with us again today we're going to put it through the ringer again yeah all right you know her you love her season three of miss pat settles it is out right now on BET and BET plus we're talking about bigger cases talking about big surprises do yourself a favor you haven't seen it the show is absolutely fantastic and she's on an National Stand Up Tour right now.

Get tickets at Miss Patcom. Give it up for the one, the only Miss Pat. Ladies and gentlemen, there's a year. Congratulations, season three. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know how we're making it, but we're making it. It's nothing like a convicted felon who can be a judge.

Well, you can be president too, so, hey, the felon winning right now. We're winning. That's America, baby. Yes, baby. America. I got to tell you about this boogey white people. Yeah, what's the beef with LaCroix? Yeah, but you, I love it.

I love LaCroix, but you're drinking it wrong. It's better when you drink it ghetto. You got to put a crystal light in it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Boy, that'll make it dick hard. You got to put a crystal light. I got something in my pocketbook if you need one.

That's crazy, dude. I'm telling you, that is some boogey water. When people come down, you drink this, I say, not without blacking in it up. Put a little flavor in there. Drop a jolly rancher in there? No, put a crystal light in there. I like that. Like the individual package.

Yes, the individual. The whole thing, shake it up. It's going to buzzer. It's going to hit the back of your throat. Everything on you. You're going to start back working. I need it. Check back online, baby.

I was putting a, I put a little liquid IV in there for a little while. It is good. No, that's not. That's a great response. I'm sorry. That's good, too. But you should. Thank God for it.

But you should geto it up a little bit. Now, liquid IV is a safe way. That's a healthy way. Sure. Of course. If you ever want to get ghetto, just get you a thing of a crystal light, and I'm telling you. Now, did someone show that to you, or did you figure that on your own? I just one day said, this is some, this water, I can't drink it.

I don't like water either, but I need water. And, you know, because I'm fat. We dry out quick. And then I'm black, so we need oil. And so I just started, I said, what can I add? And I dropped a crystal light in, and it changed my life. And I don't know if I told you all this story, but I can't drink water because when I was a little girl, one of the field trips at my inner city school

they took us to the water work and showed us how it was made. Oh, like the water department? Yes, and it abused me. They took us to the crap part where all the turrets was floating and I know I see my brother turd out there. So I cannot drink water. And every time I go to think

Fossett water, I think about that time on that field trip and I was like, we drank this. And so they show you all the crap and they take you to the other side, get you a cup. Now drink up, drank up. Did you not show me what you saw me? Yeah, and energy is cool, you get crappy field trips. If we came to the house right now and you offered us a glass of water, what would it be?

Would it be a bottle? It would be LaCroy when he's fucking crystal light in it. It would be LaCroix. It would be the other one that started with the answer. I can't pronounce it. Saratoga? Yeah, it was Saratoga, too. It would be all of that.

You got all of it. Yes, it would be all of that. How do you feel about Evian? You like Evian? My husband love Evian. He does. Yes. I could never get the taste of it.

I can't get the taste to eat. I don't like. I like, most people, most people don't like the sunny. But I like a little ghetto water. So do I. Yeah. A little salt in the back of your throat. Desani, what's the other one?

That's Coke. Aquafina. I love a cold. You know, I take that Sam water in the really small bottles if they ice cold. What? Sam. Sam's, like Sam's. Sam's called?

It's a faucet. Yeah, it's the faucet water. Yeah, I mean, so is Aquafina and Desani. So you would offer us a bottle. Yes, I will offer you a botted water. That's very nice. Now, I'm sorry. No, go ahead.

What, did we have to take our shoes off upon entering the house? So you guys are shoes off or shoes on house? I'm more, I have a nice house. We're aware. We're aware. I've seen Instagram. Fucking dog's house is bigger than my house. Everybody know about my damn house.

Please don't hop the fence because we got some lead for you. I didn't build that without having somebody in my house that can be a concealed carrier. I can't shoot you, but I can stand behind the person that will shoot you because I'm a convicted felon. Is the house all done? Are you moved in and settled and situated? It's all, I'm all done. Congratulations. That's awesome.

That's awesome. Yeah, but I didn't realize my taxes were going to be that high. I didn't realize the house was that much. I was just building. I had to save some money. I said, I'm going to do this thing. I didn't think about the light bill, the water bill. You ought to see me walking around that 15,000 square miles cutting out the light.

Cut the damn lights out. The light bill, I'm just, I'm calling to get on the budget plan, all of that. That's funny. Your house is 15,000 square feet? Yes, and I built it. That's like what Shaq did. I don't live far from Shaq, California. I, um, I built it from...

Hey, Miss Pat and Shaq, what a neighborhood. That's awesome. No, I will look far from each other to be the neighborhood. But, um, I built it from TikTok. What do you mean? I didn't use a contractor. So I was a general contractor. I had an architect of Joy, and I got all the designs off of TikTok.

I just went down white women pages and stole their living room, their bathroom. Their bathroom, their kitchen. How many bathrooms? Let me guess. Yes. Eight. No, it's 13 baths. What?

13 baths! Yeah. That's a lot of ducy. It's like the Palace of Versailles. And it's 11 bedrooms. Damn. Yes. Does every bedroom have a bathroom?

No, I guess. The kids do. All the kids do have their own bathroom. Damn. You said you went to white ladies TikTok. Do you have any live, laugh, love, things floating around in the house? No, I don't. That's Trailer Park.

I said up any white women. I don't live little laugh crap in my house I don't do no hobby lobby crap on the wall Ain't no crosses hanging Home goods and shit Now I do home goods

But I ain't That's the stuff that couldn't sell At the high end That they bring it over But you know the problem Is going to home good And those type of stores When you live in a white neighborhood

White women do not work So they stay home so they shop You have to know when that truck get in And you have to beat them white bitches to that store They will get to that store and buy everything. I hate white women when they come down to a home good.

They get the good pots. They know when the truck's coming in, but I know too. Because, baby, I lived in a white neighborhood, so I already got y'all's strategy. From coupons to learn how to go into these stores and get deals. Amen, sister. All the way down to baking. And let me tell you somebody, a white woman.

Can't nobody out bake a white woman. Really? Black women can cook, but they can't out bake. You know what? Because white women have all the right utensils. Black women's in that. stirring with their spoons and crap. White women got an ed-beat of that caused $900.

We came out, and I don't care what y'all say, black women. Huh? Got that kitchen aid bowl? Yeah, but they got a mixer with it. I mean, it's so smooth, it'll give you diarrhea. Wait, so you're saying certain women know when the delivery's being made the home good. Oh, yeah, you make friends. You make friends.

I got them, too. They be calling me, they call my sister. Tell me pat this truck on the way, and I get my black ass on up there. And I wait to they bring it all over it out. Something from the mob. I love it. Yes. Will you ever get any of the food at home goods?

Will you get any of the candies or anything? Yes, I do. Okay. It'd be good. That popcorn be a fish. That's always popcorn. It's always popcorn. Man, I got some lemon heads up there because I was doing a pool party

and the lima head matched my color. That thing was banging. That is expensive candy that went over to that store. I'm sorry, sir. those spaghetti noodles that is high-in Italian olive oil Out of the straight of the vibe

It's half empty though, yeah No it's not That's for the people Who went in there and drunk out of it But if you get a whole bottle You better start shopping in that store I hate it My wife loves it

I hate it Because your wife know how to get a deal And I guarantee you that's what you eat Yes You fucking raw stress for less noodles Yes Miss Pat just you know The plan was to put you back through the ringer

because you pushed back on the garbage. Verdict. We said you were garbage, and you said bullshit. So we were going to take another crack at you. So far, you've got Crystal Light Lemonheads. Oh, you're taking score of day. So you think I'm garbage because I like Crystal Light and Lemonhead. Excuse you.

Listen, we grew up a Crystal Light family in my house. It was all Crystal Light. That's all we had. Y'all could afford Crystal Light when you was young? Yeah. I had never heard of it until I became grown. Crystal Light was a child. That was no crystal light back then.

That was Kool-A. That was your answer. That was different neighborhoods. No, crystal light ain't been around that long? Yeah, when I was a kid, we had crystal light in the 90s. Y'all had health care. We did, but through my dad, my dad was in the Navy. So we had Champas, was what it was called.

How did y'all have crystal? I had never heard of it back then. Well, here you got. Release to the public in 1984. Yeah. What? To the public? Like, the government was holding it back.

It was invented in 1982. It was an area. 51 since the 60s. What? That's like when I discovered Chick-fil-A in the 90s. That's early for Chick-fil-A. No, Chick-fil-A's been around since the 50s. I know, but they weren't everywhere. Yes, they was.

You know the very first Chick-fil-A was in a black neighborhood. It was Green-Brah Mall, but it was white back then. What state was this? Atlanta, Georgia. In Atlanta. Look, Green-Brahma was the first Chick-fil-A, I think. Yep. And then the Dwarf House was at East Point.

Who's the Dwarf House? The little people go in the house In the little door You never seen a dwarf house And Chick-fil-A? It's called a dwarf house They got a little door for little people Wait, what's that going to do

With Chick-fil-A though? So when it's a dwarf house They said hamburgers and other stuff When it's Chick-fil-A you just get the chicken sandwich So the sat-down restaurant Breakfast and everything is a dwarf house So they have a door in a door For little people to go through

Kids, anybody else Wait, so hold on a second There was a restaurant called Dwarfouse That is, that's Chick-fil-A It's called the dwarf house I don't get it I'm so confused I understand it now

yeah I was explaining the dwarf house menu by Atlanta pops That's crazy That's the dwarf house That's the best one to eat at Okay molded after the founder

Truett Kathy's first restaurant The Dwarf house offers Sit down counter And drive-through service For breakfast lunch and dinner And they got other things than chicken sandwich Look at that

So it's more of like a restaurant It's a restaurant It's got a door and a door too A door, okay It's got a small door you can go through inside of that door. Gotcha. That seems, I mean. Doorf house.

I'm trying to say it without saying it. I need you to pay attention to it. Say no more. Where it all be. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. So they sell hamburgers and all kind of stuff. Menu highlights.

They got hot brown, chicken and waffle combo, bacon, sausage, egg breakfast. Yeah, that's good. This is a side note. I don't know if I asked you this last time. Are you a cookout fan? Do you like cookout, the restaurant? No, no. You know what?

Those burgers are too thin for me. Really? It's all that bread. You yeast. infection that stuff is too thin for me i need my i need to fill my meat i'm black i don't know what you're talking about i bet you don't i said i'm black we'll be right back after this word from blue chou oh man that's too funny yes we wanted we wanted to ask you some newer questions

Congrats on the house. Thank you. In the house, do you have the automatic pepper grinder and salt shaker where it grinds it up? Where it does it, where you press the button? No, I don't have that one. I have one that came from some pots, some high-end pots I bought. You just grind it and... Okay.

All right. It's okay. What do you got? What's in the... I think you told us there was three refrigerators last time? I have one, two, three, four. Five refrigerators. Five fucking respirators.

Pat, what are you doing? And I have a... Living life, let her be. I have a... They're all wolf. You know what wolf is? Wolf is very high. And they set...

Well, my stove's a wolf. My refrigerator is sub-zeroes. Woo! Wolf ranges are very, very nice. I believe they're German. They're very nice. Very expensive. Where are the five refrigerators?

You got one in the kitchen. One in the, two in the kitchen. Two in the kitchen. Yeah, that don't even look like they're refrigerated. Then I have one in the pantry. That don't look like a refrigerator. You have one in the pantry? Yeah.

What's in there? A pantry is like a whole other kitchen. It's have a sink in a dishwasher. Oh, when you say pantry. So you remember back in the day, and don't let me scare you when I say this, remember back in the day when it was Slade Quarters and the slaves had their own kitchen? I don't know. I mean, I wasn't there.

But you've seen those movies like Django. And you know when they go in the other kitchen? Well, those are came back in style now. So a lot of people are building those. Those little apartment pantries, they don't do those anymore. Highing houses going back to the old type of kitchen in a kitchen. So if you open this door, I have a whole other kitchen. Gotcha.

Yeah. When you say pantry, to me, that's a door. This is like a closet. There's a cereal in there. It's full of cabinets. It's got a dishwasher. It's got the microwave. It has a refrigerator.

It has a sink. It has everything. It actually has two dishwashers in mine in the bag. And I have two dishwashers in the kitchen. You have four dishwashers? And I have one downstairs. What are you opening up a hotel? No, I just decided.

I said, I'm going to do what the hell I want to do. I love that. That's great. Okay. I have a question about the multiple refrigerators in the kitchen area, the pantry and or the regular, and you said they're hidden, very nice. They look like the- They look like the cabinets. Very, very classy, very, very classy. Well, how do you separate what goes in where?

Is it like drinks in one, food in the other? No. Is there ketchup in the one? Like, what is the breakdown? When you have a kitchen like that, I have two undercounted refrigerators, too. So I have one for the water and the drinks, and then I have another one just for my. my husband, beer and wine and over here on the other side. So in the back, in the refrigerator in the pantry.

He's making out like a goddamn bandit. In the kitchen, I mean, in the refrigerator in the pantry, that's just like whatever can't fit in the big refrigerator. So it's like an overflow. Extra milk, extra egg, extra butter, all of that stuff. How many dozens of dozens of, how many eggs are in the house do you think? I use it by a big box of them, like, I think it's like 48. Yeah.

No kidding. I didn't really. You get them like that. Yeah, you can get them like that at Sam. You're doing the white eggs. or the brown eggs? I do both. I give the kids the white

because they can handle our illness better than I can't. That goddamn hormones. Yeah. You know, they need to grow a little boobs, but I'm old. I got to be careful when I eat. You know, the kids can eat rumming noodles.

I eat that shit. I'm going to die. Kippe, you know, helix? Shut out. I slept on one this night. You got a helix? I'm a helix, man. Everybody knows that.

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Do it. Kip, you like Shopify? I love Shopify. Do you like Shopify so much that we use Shopify and we sell our merch? Listen, we use Shopify. You know that. I know that. They know that.

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Sign up for $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash garbage. Go to Shopify.com slash garbage. One more time, Shopify.com slash garbage. Do it. Who's all at the house currently? So I have custody of my niece for kids. Right. And then I have a 25-year-old son downstairs.

Right. He's not going anywhere. No, he's not. I would not. You'd have to drag me out of there. Well, he has a whole basement. It has a full kitchen, a movie theater. And he's just down there with my other son.

Can he walk? Can he leave the house? Yes, he has a back door and walk out to the pool area in the pool house. That kid's fucking. That kid's got life by the balls right now. Yeah, so next door, I have a podcast house because, you know, I do a little small podcast. Sure. And it's two bedrooms, three bathrooms, and my daughter lives there.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, so she has a full kitchen, wash and dry, your own garage. It's a whole other house. That's a lot. This is crazy. Yes. I got to move to fucking Atlanta. I just got a rent-controlled two-bedroom in Washington Heights.

My life sucks. No, you got to come to Atlanta where your money go far. Fuck. There's a bunch of gay men you might get kissed on, but the discount for the housing. Bonus. Fully just booked his ticket. You might get your face licked on if you end up in the wrong neighborhood. Oh, my goodness.

Are you going to do the holidays? Will you do Thanksgiving? year at your house? I did Thanksgiving at my house last year. You were in there last year? Yes. I thought you were still building. No, I was, excuse me.

I did Thanksgiving last year. And so I had nine Christmas, I had nine or ten Christmas trees. Jesus. One in every bedroom. No. All real? No, I don't do real trees because I like to change my colors every year. I always like to.

The thing is, is I grew up very poor and we'd never had a Christmas tree. So I always love Christmas. movie in Christmas. So now that I got a little money, I go all out for Christmas. I mean, the outdoor. My house has permanent lightens on them. So for every holiday, they call jellyfish lighting. I've heard about this.

They are the best. They are the best. I just heard about this. So I had them put on my house. And my house stay lit up at all time. At night, it comes on. It's like security, like you can change the color at any time. Gotcha.

And so I had my front porch done. I had reefs all I saw. I had nine Christmas trees, nine or ten Christmas trees, in the pool house, in my daughter's house. I think I had like, I had one downstairs, five or six upstairs, me on the main floor, and I had two or three upstairs. That's fucking amazing.

I mean, you're doing it so right. It's crazy. Yes. So are you going to do Thanksgiving this year? No, I'm going to just do it for my family. I don't want to, I don't have enough parties. Everybody doesn't see in the house. Yeah.

You know, and at times are tight. I don't got no money to be feeding everybody. So I'm just going to feed the immediately family. It's been Christmas trees. Last year, it's like 100 people came to my house. Really? Yes. And I had a big pool party for the 4th of July.

So I'm kind of done. Gotcha. You've shown off the house. Everybody's seen it. Now we're living. Yeah. You know, and then I'm tired of every time I do something, I have to change the locks and keep people out of a certain part of the house.

Really? Yes. Have you had anybody overstay their welcome? No, I don't let you overstay your welcome. Because, you know, I have a pool house So my pool house is really nice So it's like you got a full kitchen A full bath for living room

And I got a pop-out bed Somebody can live there It's another house And people always want to stay in the pool house And I tell them you cannot stay there It's off limit, no But I do have two guest rooms Inside of my house

But I don't do that I have no problem saying you got to go Two of us Huh? Still of us You can visit but you can't stay Well how long can I get? A weekend Yeah, that's what you want to do And then Monday, you got to get, I'm out

I will ask you to leave No problem Because you know, I'm busy I got, you can always stay with the dogs The dog got a house They got cable TV, they got air conditioning They got a refrigerator Oh God

Is there anything in the fridges That like Is just you and the misters Like anything the kids can't have Like is there a certain treat Or a certain snack that you guys like That you don't want the kids Yeah, but my husband have his own refrigerator in his room.

Oh, my God. You mentioned you guys are in different rooms. Yes. So in the mess of my husband sleep there, and then I have my own room. And it's my room over there, too. Of course. I'm going through menopause. So he has a refrigerator, a whole entertainment thing where he has a refrigerator

and a freeze in his room. That a full-sized fridge? Uh-uh. It's like an on the mount, on the countermount. So he can put his beer, his whatever, his medication. Whatever he need, he put it in that refrigerator and all these snacks and stuff. What would be his go-to snack? What does he look if he's watching TV?

Nuts. He's a nutman. All men's a nutman. Cachews? Yeah, he like cashews. And he also like chips and stuff. He eat a lot of beef jerky because I have a little Oskaputa or Ocabooda. What is it called?

I don't know. The little curly-ha-ha-ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. dog breeds down there too Put it in the fridge His back got some money So I bought a little Ossa Duda for Walmart For Walmart

Yes these white people sitting outside They look like white trash You bought a dog out in front of Walmart I bought three And you're calling them You're calling them trash is crazy They saw you coming a mile away This woman's probably pulled up

In a fucking big rig Was it sight on scenes You have to wait a couple of days to get them No so my daughter was at Walmart Right and she's like Mama this lady I'm just selling these Beautiful dogs.

And so I say FaceTime. And they was all in the crack. They looked like they were thirsty. And big old fat white lady said now, looking like she ain't fed these dogs. And I said, well, how much? Do you know I pay $800 a dog? How many did you get?

Three. Jesus. I bought three Oscar, whatever they are. A Aussie. That's three more Christmas trees now you've got to get here. Yeah. So now I've had him for over a year. His name is Louis.

And I bought my grandson one and I bought my daughter one. Well, that's sweet. I like that. but do you get why does the dog have beef jerky because my husband like beef jerky so they eat it together that's awesome you're sharing the beef jerky with um and i keep the dog in the house i keep him on a pamper he's they got a diaper on yes i at all time i've seen that recently yeah that's that's very white woman behavior well i have heart with flows real hardwood i have real heart with flow i got that laminate bullshit i got that i got that fake shit yeah i don't got no fake shit so i have to make

sure he don't piss on my floor i mean because i'm black i will beat his ass i got hardwood floors i will take a house you would beat these shit out of real quick so it's a small affair for thanksgiving so what 10 15 people uh probably just my son family and my family maybe a girlfriend hit me with a quick rundown of the menu that turkey uh yeah and you getting this catered or you no i'm black we don't get that catered i mean you also got a dog in pamper so I don't know what the fuck is going on. Tell me you're black. Get out of here.

You're whiteer than my mom. Drinking Vino Grigio and shit. I did live in Plainfield, Indiana, for 15 years. So I got a little whiteness in me. We've got to probably get a turkey from the Honeybeak Ham store. Okay. And then the honeybake ham. Okay.

You're like a lottery winner. It's crazy. I'm going to make the dressings and some yams and some other stuff. probably fry some fish, and we're just going to sit out on the back porch, and it's going to be us. That's awesome. I love it, man, that's all right. Yeah. You ever been to a Black Thanksgiving?

No. Oh, my God. If you ever go to a Black Thanksgiving, you will cuss white people the fuck out. I'm telling you, that cornbread stuff and y'all be eating, that is bullshit. What do you do? We make chicken dressing. The fuck is chicken dressing? Oh, my God.

They got that at the Dwarfouse. So y'all used stone top. But y'all just season it or put water on it and stuff it in the chicken ass. Black people make the cornbread, and we make all of it from scratch. It's called chicken dressing. Okay. So if you know my podcast, one of my co-hosts is white. And when I first invited me over, he was like, I can't eat at your house.

He was so fucking scared. And I was like, Chris, I'm telling you, if you eat this, you won't eat nothing else. And he ate at my house for Thanksgiving. He said, I can't eat my in-laws food number. Oh, shit. You're getting a big man all hot and bothered over. All this chicken dressing. Yeah, you got it.

You got to go to a black. Stuffing a turkey with cornbread. Jesus. Yes. That's what white people do. That shit is horrible. Yes. We make all of some stretch.

We make the stuffing from stretch. And it's called chicken dressing. Or either gizzard dressing. You never had gizzard dressing? Huh? What's the matter with you? I had gizzards this morning. Oh, gizzards are fucking good.

They're not good if you ain't got no back teeth, so you got to constantly keep chewing. That can wear your jaw out. Back teeth is so funny Yeah, because you got to keep going You got to get that gristle If you ain't got no back teeth All right

Okay You're doing great so far, Miss Pat I'm telling you that right now And I'm winning You better not call me garbage You got 17 Christmas trees How are we going to call you garbage? I know that's right

if you go out you're drinking you're drinking a can of coke right now you will you order i'm a big diet coke guy when i go out to eat i'll order a diet coke if you order a coke out will you order no ice or you order ice or extra ice do you have any no i order a light ice because i know they're going to cheat me all those documentaries about canada did a documentary how the united states cheat you when you've been to canada they don't put ice in they drink yeah you're just they just give you the drink but America cheat you out of half of the drink. If you pull that drink off that ice, you probably got that much.

And you pay for a whole soda. Well, a lot of time, it's free refill. You know where they love to do that on the airplane? I say, I want the can when I'm on the airplane because they'll just give me that little tiny place to come. You know what, I go to the Delta Lounge, and I just throw ginger beer in my purse. You know, the ginger beer? It is so good, but you can only get it inside of the Delta Lounge. Yeah.

You ever been in, I know y'all been in the Delta. Yeah, yeah, I'm diamond. Oh, I'm platinum. Oh, I'm platinum, I mean. You're 360? Yeah. She's killing it. I've never seen one.

She's killing it. I'm wood. You know the thing about being 360? When you have a problem, they take care of. Platinum, they do too. Yeah, but I mean, 360, you get on the plane before the fucking pilot. Well, I do can, but I do VIP. Is that what they drive you to the thing?

Yes, I do that every week. You, wait, so you could drive into the... To the plane. Mm-hmm. And then you walk up to the outside? Yeah. Only because I don't like going through Atlanta airport. That's where I live at.

And it's just too much to get you bad. And it's just easy for me, because I have a driver that pick me up and take me over to the airport. And it's just easy for me to get VIP to get me, run me through, drop me on a plane, take me to Delta Lound, and I'm done. I don't got time. Then, you know, people, black people are different from white fans. black people don't give a fuck what's your dad's like give me a picture give me a picture and I don't want to say look bitch leave me alone so I just go up the side of the plane and pull my hat down and I hide because they don't you know white people like hey how you doing black people

don't care they'll snatch on you I love you bitch get your hand off you I'm in a vire video fighting somebody because I don't want to take a picture come a wig on cricket so you know I just say to keep everything down I'm just going to go VIP smart very smart That's great. Good for you. Speaking of the plane, obviously you're up front. Oh, at the time. Of course. Do you take your shoes off on the plane? I mean...

You're allowed to say it. We're not. I had to catch myself. That dirty-ass carpet, is you crazy? I'm guessing that's enough. You see how many white people had their toes on that floor? It's crazy. I just flew back from Europe last week, and I saw a guy barefoot go to the bathroom.

Oh, my God. I'll do that in my socks. White. Asian guy. Yeah, white. Same thing. He wasn't black. I'll give you that.

The skin was white. Ain't no way in the hell. Ain't no way in the hell. Not even a homeless person. Black would have done that. Put the slippers on it. If I take my shoes off on, say it's like a six hour flight or something like that, it's a long flight. And I'm getting comfortable.

I got my movie going. Some snacks, stuff like that. I've had my meal. All right. That is horrible. Well, in first class, they give you the slippers. You put the slippers. I'll give you a pair of slippers.

I can't fit in those things. Let me tell you who I just flew. I just flew Emirates for the first time. You haven't flew emirons? No. What were you just going on? I was on Singapore was very nice. It was?

Yeah, Singapore is very nice. I almost got on Singapore. I went to Saudi Arabia, but then I went to Dubai. And when I tell you, Emory's first class. Yeah, it's like an apartment. Oh, my God. When I tell you, they wake you up to take a bath. Ma'am, it's time for your shower.

Yes. Did you take a shower on the plane? No, I was. I told you I can't take my fucking shoes I had a panty line on it was going to make it Now if I was just bell drawling it I would have to take a bath Wait hold on a panty liner what do you mean

A panty line catches the secretes that fall out of me I can't believe you needed that fucking display Every vagina leeks So everything You ever see one huh? No I've seen it in some videos You're a big guy's easy to have sex

Would you just kick in your stomach your dick pop out like a cash relationship. That's easy. Y'all are so warm. You know the hardest thing about giving a fat person head is when you lift their stomach up, their dick is hot, like 99 degrees. That's like an air fryer down there.

Yes, and your makeup and eyelashes are fall off. It is work sucking a fat man penis because it's so warm down there. You ever did it? Girl, let me tell you. I thought I was going to get him to say, yeah Man, Miss Pat just obliterated us Look over, I got fake eyelashes on

Oh, that, you got to take your makeup up Before you give a fat man head I'm telling you, that is some work down out And they balls are like, it's like it's like It's been in a little... Hey, I'm not on trial here I'm just telling, Phil is nuts I guarantee you

I've seen them, they're not great Oh, they're bad No, touch them, they're hot Yeah, they're hot Because I'm telling you think between the leg so everything is just rat down heating up at all time and as he walked they're boiling

yeah as he walked they're boiling she's not wrong she's talking like you're not out of here if he shit pull his nuts out right now I bet I bet you I bet her they're 102 degrees if he teabagger bitch it'll burn a skin I mean that's never

gonna happen he got some money I know some people he does not have money yes he does He's not at all. You should buy black vagina. I'm telling you, somebody will fall in love with you. They'll cook for you.

Hey. Get your chicken dressing. You know what? And black women are getting into white men. Are they? I don't know. That's why I read the monthly reports. I bought it, hook, line, and sinker.

It's not my thing to do, but hey. I've never been with a white man. No? How long have you been with your husband? 32 years. Look at that. I met, we've met him. We met him on the cruise.

He's the best, yeah. You sure did. We did the honeymooner, the newlywed game. He didn't know shit about me. He did it. Yeah. I was so, I was like, how do you not, these fans know, did I like ice cube? What the fuck is wrong with you?

He said, he said, I thought all old women like Denzel. Who do you call on? Oh, it was a celebrity cross, and yours was, yeah, and she was like, you know I love ice cube. I was like, what the hell is wrong with you? Denzel Washington is such a good answer, though. Oh, man. All right, so you don't take your shoes off on the plane. Hell no.

Do you ever bring food on the plane? Not just snacks, but you wouldn't bring like a tuna sandwich on the plane. No, because I'm in first class. So if I'm flying far, I'm going to eat regardless. Right. And then I go to the Delta Lounge, so no, I don't ever bring food. Okay, so here's something that has been a little bit of a topic of discussion. Okay.

Now, not the Delta Lounge. Let's say maybe before you were in the Delta Lounge, okay? Would you get to the airport a little early to have. breakfast before your flight? Before the Delta lounge, I was poor. So I probably ate at the house. I'm not doing a $35 breakfast at no $35 breakfast at no crappy-ass airport. No, I will eat at the house.

So, no. Fair enough. Now, with that Delta 360, can you get anybody in the lounge? Like, you could probably show it with 10 people and get in the lounge. I could. Yeah, I could because I do the VIP package. What's that cost you? She's killing it

550 each way 550 each way Yeah 550 each way Plus you got a car You got a driver to get you there too That's 150 Yeah

Good for you You're doing it I love it No I'm not doing it It's just convenience You don't have to tell us Yeah I'd be doing it too

You are doing it You are doing it You probably just don't want to do it You can do it No I know But then you know I also have staff Like I have two assistants and, you know, we're dragging luggage.

No, yeah, we travel with six people. Yeah, it's a lot. So if you did the VIP and then do you pay for all of that luggage? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we first class, so. No, so listen. We get it. So if you're first class and you're traveling with six people,

everybody traveling with you supposed to get three bags free. Did you know that? I didn't. I didn't know that. So anytime you're first class, everybody in your party get three bags. free. We'll be getting ripped off for four years. Right. Write this down. Yes. I've been paying extra bag. I just got fucking bent over a barrel in Seattle. Yes. So you don't have to pay for bags when you're first class. You

platinum. So you get, how many bags do you get free? I think three. So if you get three, so if each of y'all get three, everybody in your party is supposed to get three. So when I go on vacation, it's 18 of us. All 18 of us. I don't see you guys coming. All 18 of us get their bags free. debt because you're because of your status do you have an american express card yes all of that what the fuck wait you got an american express card i have six of them you got six of them yes did you get the new one with the mirror face no i lost my wallet miss pat's from the future what's the meal i got the silver i got the get me a thermometer it's platinum it's the platinum but

they came out they just came out with the mirror face oh they're so nice you know you're doing well When you can scream, bring me my mirror platinum American Express. Yes, and you very much deserved, obviously. Everybody ordered them. But when you got American Express and you got platinum and diamonds. You have to when you're traveling. Yes. So you get that.

You actually get everybody in your party of bags of free. Everybody get up to 70 pounds. So when I'm traveling with my sister. He's at least 450. And my testicles run hot. I'm checking you at this. special luggage. I'm careful with this test.

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Please. Give it to me. Yeah. Oh, my. Hide it for a hide. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you can't see the number. Wow.

I won't turn it around. I want to turn it around. What the fuck? That's like from men in black. So is this one. This is the new platinum. And it's free. All you got to do is this call American.

say I want the new miracle it's the same number don't nothing change and just it's just the hottest shit to have when you pop out that's pretty good she puts it in her tithful he pulls out of his nuts yes mine's a TD bank card yeah so do you use all the points I mean all the uh free stuff that you get with American Express I think so well they like they I know I was just looking at it uh I got to get better at this stuff we got a guy I mean we have a business manager now that I don't think he's doing that but they get the ducks like the clear and the all TSA

you get so much more than you do get a lot of stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah so much oh my god you gotta get a woman on this men don't know I'm telling you gotta get a female to find out I know we're a team full of guys man we stink and I wanted to hire a lady but your wife said hell the fuck no no she doesn't

she suggested it but you know white women have to be careful this is what I noticed when white women have successful husband and Bert Christ your wife do it good. She don't put no bitches around her husband and I don't blame them.

Oh, yeah, for sure. And Leanne do not play that shit. But the problem that most white women do is y'all go out and let your husband hire people with better titties. No, motherfucker. Your tithes are up too far. Come back when they're sagging.

And then I give you a job. So if there was a nanny to be hired, you wouldn't go with the young as you, no. I sure would. I mean, let's be honest, men will fuck anything. look with Arnold Swastonnaker fuck this mate and she looked like one of y'all

her testicles are you so you really can't stop it but I'm definitely not gonna just bring it in the house no I'd make it makes sense I just I didn't think it was being a good work environment you know what I mean we're I don't you can't bring a lady into this

you're a comic so you get it but like I can't bring a girl who graduated from well you need to hire you a good gay guy that's a girl and a boy We got a guy from Cornell that works here Yeah, get you a good gay guy Who's into traveling And they look like boys

But they react like women And they're going to save you some money I said that Your show just got canceled Who show? My daughter is gay as hell I am all for you eating what you choose to eat Hey, eat it till you get to heaven or hell Hey, my daughter had been eating it since she came out of me

I don't think I said that right My daughter Get more pussy than both of y'all Take my word She got dildoes And she do not discriminate We keep getting trashed here Yeah, what the fuck

My daughter has made Amazon A lot of money Will you take leftovers from a restaurant Miss Pat? All the time I take my food home Do you have a favorite Frozen pizza in the house?

No, sir, I do not have that Some things I cannot eat anymore. Really? Yeah. I can't eat like sardines in a can. I can't eat polished meat. You probably don't know what the hell that is. What's that?

Pollyge meat. Potted meat. Potted meat. Yeah. Like Vienna sausages. No. It's like if you smash the Vienna sausage. Oh, I know what you're talking about.

Yeah. So it's really good, but it's, you know, and what's that other meat? South's meat. You know what that is? What about spam? Will you have spam? No, I won't. Did you used to have it?

Hell, yeah. I love it. And South's meat is really. really good, too. Yeah. But when you learn, it's all, everything left over from the dick, the neck, the eyeballs, or the pig, just grind it up and end it to this little block thing. But it's really good with saltine crackers.

Salt, okay. Yeah, it's really fucking good. But I can't eat that. I don't have to take your word of word on it. Yeah, next time I come, I tell me to bring you some sals me, and we can try the pole struggle, black people food, and then y'all bring the post-drugger white people food. Okay. And we bring this country together.

And see what the fuck is, you know, how we overcame. Ramen noodles, hot dogs chopped up in beans. That would be one. Beanie weanies? Beanie weanies, yeah. I want to eat them. You know what? I don't even eat like, and I'm not boozy, but I won't eat like a off-brand hot dog.

I can't eat off-brand food. What's a brand name hot dog? I got Astromire. Ballpark. Nathan's? Those are okay hot dog, but I eat Nathan's. God damn. I like it.

But you can get them on sale. So I wait. to their own sale at Kroger, and I buy the shit. Well, you freeze them? Yeah, I freeze them. You got to know when the body's uppity shit. You know, I'm not just going there and give you $25 a pay. When you're running the sale, give me a whole shelf.

I walked in the Home Depot the other day. They had these boxes of trash bag that got smashed. I bought the whole fucking shelf. There was $23 bag that was marked down to $10. I bought the whole palette. Are they, like, are they kitchen trash bags? They had got some shit dumped on them. They had been outside.

crushed the boxes. I didn't care. I called up all my friends said, come give me these $10 and come get these trash bags. You sold them? Back to my friends. I don't need all of them. I ain't going to hoard a shit. That's awesome. Yeah. If I see something on clearance, I buy the whole shelf. You like going shopping. You like taking a day and going out? Oh, yeah. I love shopping. How many people are involved in that operation, would you say, when you do something like that? If I'm looking for a certain thing, you know what's great about my fays? I call them the crack babies. So if I'm looking for something, I can go in my face group They're called Miss Pat Crack Babies

And I can send out a Crack Baby signal And I say, hey, can you go to your local home goods or Home Depot and see if you can find this item? And then they'll shoot, I'm on my way, Miss Pat. And they'll mail me the stuff. They will mail me the stuff that I'm looking for all the time. If I'm looking for something on sale, fabric, whatever. I mean, there have been time I met people in Chicago

when I lived in Indiana Because I bought something off of Facebook Marketplace. You're still doing it. Jesus Christ. What? Talk about walking on both worlds. I know. You're nuts.

Now, you find this pallet of trash bags. Can you handle that on your own or do you call someone and say, hey, meet me at the Home Depot? I just called my son and say, bring the truck. I got to say. Bring the truck. Yes. I'm a, I shop therapy. Yes.

I mean, I look for sales. Sure. I do crazy coupons. I cut coupons. Really? Yeah. And you go big, when you go, you go big as far as you're going to get a lot of one item to have it to save money. Yes, all the time.

My husband, you ought to say, I get a package to my dough every single day to the point where the UPS man is like, damn, thank you for keeping me employed. FedEx, Amazon, all of those. I shop a lot. What's that, that truck? You say you call your son, bring the truck. What is that truck? What is his, the truck, uh, uh, 20, 25, uh, town and country. Wow.

My husband truck. Okay. Very nice. Mm-hmm. 2025, very nice. I like it. Somebody rigged his other car, so we, we, uh, you upgraded them. Yeah, it was, he had a 20, 23 something.

Okay. When he retired. So somebody got into a rick and then we, I just bought him the town and country. Aw. Yeah. I love it. Very nice. What do you drive?

Uh, uh, Uh, pre-owned, not certified, but a pre-owned Mercedes. Hmm. Small, the little SUV. I'll drive one, too. Do you? What do you get? What do you got?

I mean, you got one that probably fucking, like a spaceship. No, I have, I have a G-wagon. Nice. That's a tax right off. This broad's good. Yeah. You're over 6,000 pounds. Yes.

You should buy one. I don't have G-wagon money. That's crazy. You can buy anything. I got the GLB-2-honored. Yeah, but you can. smallest, it decides to just get your table. But why not get it as a tax write-off.

That's why I bought it. And you know what? I got to ride around like I'm fucking 50-cent or something like that. I don't ride around in it. You know, I was riding around in it, and I bought it for a tax write-off. And I was riding around in it until... That's TikTok accounting, too, right away. Well, it did work because I called my accountant.

They said, yeah, you can write it off. But I put breaks on it for the first time, $9,800. Jesus. I parked that bitch. It's not for me I parked it It's an ornament for the garage $9,800

of what I paid at the dealership for brakes And so they have this guy On Facebook in Atlanta called The brake guy So he said Well I put I put the brakes on your G-Wagon

But it's gonna be making That squilling noise Because I don't have the computer To reset the I said dude I can't do this In no G-WA So I put the brakes on it Can't turn it into a hoopty real quick

I just parked it And I bought a Lexus That's the best thing What Lexus you got? I have the Bitcoin The 20, 25. She just walks and gave me the big one. Yeah.

I got kids. That's great. It's cheaper to maintain. It's the best car I ever had. Yes. How many cars would you say you have total? Probably nine. Yeah.

That's doing all right. You have any old school car? I do. I just redid my husband old school. Did you see it? No. What did you get them? We have a 70 and a 72 Chavell.

Oh. I did his 70 Chavelle of him. My 72 is being done now. His is almost done. That's awesome. Yes. I did it custom. By the way, if anybody want to do in the business or a comedian, you want what show is done?

Carlos Miller from 85 South. You know what that is? I know of them. Yes. He redo them. He does it? Oh, my God. He hooked my car the hell up.

It's beautiful. It is beautiful. Or if you need contractor bags, cheap. No, Trash bag. Ten bucks. Yes. You still got it? We still have a surplus of them?

Yes, I do. So, you know, I think the apocalypse is coming with the government and everybody acting crazy right now. So I put this whole sheving thing in my garage, both of my garages. I have a four-car garage. And I've just been packing it with food and supplies and bleach and cortex and tampon in case we got to take off and run through the woods because I think they're going to handmaids tell us. So I'm trying to get ready.

So I put three deep freezes in my garage. Yeah. That's a lot of hot dogs. Yeah. So, you know, in case some pop off, if we have to stay in the house, I got enough food. In case we got to run, we got enough Panningliners and Kotex. I'll be dead in 15 minutes if something happens. I got nothing.

You're going to be all right. Yeah. So your wife haven't started, getting ready for the Apocalypse? No. No. We don't have. We ran out of toilet paper this morning, if I'm being honest. I had to go buy some angels off at the store.

Oh, that stuff will get you. That's like a sleeping bag. Those things are thick. Okay, y'all must not be in the black chat group. I tried. It won't approve me. We're ready to take off. Why?

Is word coming down that things are getting dicey? Shit, yeah. You're not paying attention to the point. We're thinking about painting all self-white. I need Villarago. What is that when black people are the turals? Bill Garado I graduated with. That sounds like Dracula's cousin.

Yeah, I need a little. vigorago so I can stay here that's what I need to tell black people we need to get vigorago that'll keep us here you won't be able to tell we black because you know when when black folks turn that we'd be your color pink is that what I am I'm pink yeah last time you told me you told me my eyes were great

your eyes are what great because I asked you it went crazy viral I asked you if you open your eyes underwater and you said damn white people sure is nosy oh yeah shit, who opened their eyes up on the wall? Miss Pat, will you dance at a wedding? Will I dance at a wedding? You know my gay daughter's getting married.

Congratulations. Yeah, she's getting married to her girlfriend looking like LeBron James. So, I might be dancing at a wedding. A lesbian wedding is kind of weird to plan, because I'm planning a lesbian wedding, and

you know, it's two girls. That's a lot of dildas. Yeah, you know, I was talking to my daughter-in-law, dad, and he want her to walk down the aisle, excuse my friend, and I'm like, she can't walk down the aisle, she's a bitch. So she got to wait up at the top. You can bleak that because I don't want to fuck with your sponsor.

She got to wait up at the top like a real man. Oh, so she's the, in the traditional sense, she's going to be the groom waiting. Yes. My daughter's the girl. Okay, I'm sorry, yeah. So her, but your daughter's girlfriend's father wants to walk her down the aisle. But you're going, no.

She's the boy. She's not when she's built like LeBron again. She can't walk her down the house. She's the dude. So my daughter's the girl. She looks just like me. So she got to wear the dress and she got to wear the pants. Can't they both be in?

I don't know the cuss. Can they both be in dresses? No, she looks more mentally than you. I'm telling you she need to take the tug. She need to take the tucks. If you put her in a dress, it's going to be like, who phone chew. Who did that?

That movie, Wesley Snipe did it. It's not who function. It's too won't. Too on foot. What, Wesley Snipe did. That's what you're going to be looking at. Magic Swayze? Yes.

That's what it's going to look like if she put on the dress. You don't want that. You don't want that. She's a real man. I'm going to pass out. Where is the wedding? You're going to have it at the house? No.

I'm not right now. I'm not right now. I don't know what they thought. I don't know. They throw rice or dicks or vaginas. No, no, no, no, no, no. She told you about having to change the locks on the door, and she had people over at a pool party.

No, we're not having a wedding there. No, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. We're going to go to church. We're going to do it at a church out of a pool hall or something, but it's definitely a pool. I don't know where gay people get married to beach. We want to get married to a basketball court. A basketball court.

I don't know. But I don't even know what the food going to be. Two and a fish. Hot dogs. My daughter's so gay, she won't even eat a hot dog. Now, she's been gay all her life, and I'm thankful for her not dipping and dabbing. She just straight-gling vagina. Yeah, yeah, that's good.

She's been eating it ever. She knew what she wanted. Now, is that something you're going to help foot the dog? the bill on uh yeah i'm gonna see if it's a write off live streaming or something you're gonna do it in the g wagon no i'm gonna try to write it off you know because it's um it's a minority thing okay i'm just i'm assuming i don't think that's right i'm trying to get them to push it back if so i'm gonna make luke and have a wedding this weekend we're coming up on the end of the year think about if we get de i back we can write

it off so we're gonna have to wait Oh, my God. How do you feel about chips on a sandwich, like potato chips on a sandwich? Do you go for that? Yes. You do that? Yeah, I do. Fried bologna, sometime I get that.

Very nice. So you'll have a fried bologna still? Yeah, sometimes I get that urgent. When I'm little, you know, I want to taste that struggle. When you cook the bologna, do you snip it? Yeah, you have to, sort of rise in a hump in the back, and a drop in the middle. Okay. Then you pull mustard right there in the middle.

Put some cheese on it, some chips. You put mustard on it while it's in the skillet? No, after they come out on your bread And then you'll throw some chips on that Yeah, and if you want to be fancy Now you throw some onions, some grilled onions on it Wow Mm-hmm

Okay Not too bad How do you feel about the Dorito? I don't like the Doritos They're too hard for I don't got no back to you So I don't really, you know It's a take a lot to chew them for me

Fair enough I love it Huh How do you feel about the bread and butter pickle? Okay Don't nobody eat that shit Who eat that You'll never catch that in no black house old baby

A bread and butter pickle That shit is nasty No That's what draws the line Yes We don't eat that Have you ever been to a vineyard What is that?

That's a wine? Yeah where they make wine At all, no No we got a look of stoves in our community Fuck we're going to a venue for when you got an Asian owning all the liquor stores in the black community don't play like you don't know what's in my community

I'm going to venue With all due respect you live in a 15,000 foot house I don't think you're in the community I don't I'm not in the community but I remember the community No I ain't been no vineyard Okay I've never been either I know somebody named Virginia

O's me 15 hundred But I ain't been no vineyard What hell I'm going out there for? How do you pronounce the product that Crayola makes Crayola? Yeah, like, what does Crayola make? What do you mean? What do Crayola make?

Crayons. Crayons, okay. We pronounce it incorrectly, both of us. What do you say? I say crown. I say Crayans. Crayola Crayans. Crayal Crayons.

Between that and the bread and butter pickles. I'm not getting the invite to the wedding. No, you're not. All righty. Crayons. Do you have a hotel you like to stay at? Oh, yes. I love, when I go to L.A., I love to stay at the, what's the name of it?

The London. You ever been to the London? No. We're a fucking, a hired kind of crew. I bet you're a moxie? Y'all are hired because you want to be a hired. But the London. We got too many people.

You're bringing 18 people on vacation. Not to the London. Not to the London, no. But I usually go there too when I'm doing promotion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm going there next week because I'm promoting the show. but it's really nice so I do have a thing with hotels

if you don't if you don't put me and what I want then I go buy my own shit yeah we were to be a revenge on that because when you sometime when you go to the hide or the Hilton like if I stay in one of those I would say housekeeper come take these sheets because I don't know if y'all notice if the sheets are not staying they don't have to change them

so you on top of somebody else from the night before yes that that top cover is the nastiest shit oh the top thing is yeah yeah and if If the person they make a mess, they don't have to change it as long as it

look clean. You never seen no hotel things? So when I go to Ohio Hills and I say take the whole bed, the pillars, everything,

and give me fresh linen. Damn. Yeah. And they get mad sometime, but I don't care. Now, I don't do that

at the London because of London shahs. That might, I love the rich Carlton. Yeah, okay. It's really nice.

But you also know your American Express can get you We stayed at the, we were in Austin. Wasn't the Ritz? We stayed on points. We'll only ever do it on point. So you know if you got a, you know if you got any chase card, because I'll be, I'm a credit card stupid.

We're only, I don't have a chase. Yes, you do. I have the Amex. Okay. That's all you got the AMX? You have a chase card, debit card, don't you? So if you had a chase card. Maybe, yeah.

If you had a chase card. I don't know there's any money in there. If you had a chase card, you can change your chase card over to a rich carton card, which nobody ever has because they don't give them out anymore. You have to request it and you have to have a certain amount of credit limit for them to give you one. So I have a rich carton card. Ms. Pat knows everything.

I'd be researching. She knows everything. All you have to do is go on TikTok and you know everything too. It's true. And nobody, Rich Carlton don't advertise this card. They stopped years ago. Sounds like a guy, Rich Carlton. Yes.

You see it. It's a rich Carlton card. Yeah, you see the $10,000 credit line at least. I'm out. Yeah. Pengren? Yeah. Where am I going to get 10 grand?

Yeah. But that's what your credit limit needs to be to get the rich cotton card. But I had a card that it was a Sears card that I had for years, and I just changed it over to the rich carton card. It's just status. I love it. I got one. I mean, what's on, you know, you're doing quite well? Very well.

I'm okay. What's on the rider? Oh, that's a good question. Oh. What do you like in the green room? So I like, I asked for, what's that blue and white bar, or looker? Azul. You'll do all the big, tall, fancy.

So let me tell you why I do it. Oh, that thing? Yes. Is that what's in there, booze? Yes. Behind the bar, what do you think it was? Yeah, I don't know what it was. So I, um, I thought it was somebody's ashes.

That is in my rider because every year I give my fans a party called Miss Pat Fan Celebration. So I invite fans from all over the world. They pay a certain amount like $250. They buy a ticket, and it's a three-day event with just me. No shit. I have it all set up from a party to a podcast. This year they got to watch the first episode of the Miss Pat show,

and I had a breakfast with them, and I did a comedy show, all for $250. I set up the hotel for them, a block for them. Who does that? I do it every year. So I put all of this alcohol in my rider, so they get top shelf alcohol. So you have it at the end of the year? Yes. So this year I had 50 bottles of Azul. So you don't drink, you don't open it.

Uh-uh. I shouldn't tell that secret. The clubs are going to be like, no, bitch. Nah, they got a bad. You can't do it. You can't do nothing. Yeah, so, Hennessy, everything top chef is, I get it the whole year. That's genius.

And I just take my fans and they party the whole weekend. Where you do it, Atlanta? I do it in Atlanta. We just had it like a week ago. We were talking about, I want to do something like that in Philly. Yeah. With our fan. I just, it's too much to try to figure out.

No, it's not. I planned it out for a year, and I do it. This year I sold, it was a costume party. And I pick a theme So it was me taking them to the Oscars And I had hired a planner And it looked like they was going to the Oscars And they all dressed up in different costumes

And what was the theme, Jazz? It was movies Because we went to the office Yeah By the way, Jazz hasn't missed one She's spot on out there She's a hundred feet away So it's killing it.

So it was movies You had to get a character I came as Correta DeVille And so it was beautiful I fucked up her name He fucked up a lot of names And we didn't call you on If I'm being honest

It's Ritz Carlton Cruella DeVille You're the only person with a Ritz Carlton car Who calls it the Who calls him Rich Carlton Wait you said Bretted DeVille Corrata DeVille

Correta Whatever you know I'm trying to say Of course So I do it every year For my fans This is the third year We were talking, I would love to do something like that. And you know what, they show, you know, a lot of times,

and I look at fans like this, we, you know, we do give them a service, which is comedy, and we take from them. And it's my way of saying, come hang out with us for a weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they will come. They will come because a lot of people don't have time to do that. But I take out one week a year, which is in October, and I do it with my fans. That's awesome.

And every year I'd be on to start. They'd be like, please keep going. The first year I had it was over 600. people this year was a little over 300 and it's mainly because of the economy yeah yeah people come from australia canada you're everywhere everywhere and it that's fucking nuts yes is he's not the best yes and you know i i take all the money that i get from them and i put it in the part i don't make any money yeah it just goes bad i hire designer and it's top-nosh food i hire caterer it's top-notch look of bartenders you just feel like you feel i want them to feel like

celebrity that's awesome i was because we were i was talking about it because you know some of the venues as the venues get bigger you can't do meet and greets anymore because they're just too big and the venue just you know can't facilitate it um so i feel like because we always do meeting greets we always did meet and greets and it's a cool way to interact with everybody and stuff like that one big party they would love it yeah they will love it you get your designer and you let her handle the you get you a venue and then you just you know charge them a fee which i charge is a weekend thing I charged $200 last year And I had the guy who

Do the Michael Jackson play here in New York Who won the Tony I can't afford him What the fuck No but he did He was a friend So I brought him in You'd be surprised

I brought him in And he did a fabulous job So every year I give him an entertainer Along with that So where are you going to get all of that at For $200 or $250? We're doing it We're coming this year

I'm going to miss that You got to do it You know what They were forever thank you for Yeah Such a cool idea keep supporting you and nobody does it and it's miss pat fan celebration and they love it and then this year i got bt plus allow me to show them to the first episode of the miss pat show

because we're running a little over a year from coming out because all of this paramount stuff so they was like you can show it to your fans and boy they lost it that's awesome they lost it and they'll love it the best she's the best i love my fans i'm going to say this and maybe you get slap but you're 100% garbage but I love you I'm garbage I'm gonna go against me I got a G-wagon we did this last

time yes oh my god how are you saying this lady's not class my underwear finally matched and I'm garbage last time I was in here my set didn't match I care now you know when you black your parents

always say keep you draw clean in case you get kidnapped or you get hit by a car you don't want about to take you to the hospital no dirty-ass drawers off you y'all never heard that as a kid yeah somebody's ever been about that did he have clean underwear on yes you always say keep your drawers clean in case you get in the car accident ladies and gentlemen one of the absolute best one of the funniest people on the planet season three miss pat settles it on BET and BET and she's also on her national tour miss pat comedy dot com for tickets

Ms. Pat, we love you so much. I can't thank y'all enough. We love you so much. I got to tell you this. I love coming here. Let me tell you why. It's a little knockoff stole next door to you. So I go shopping for my child.

Yes, this is how I remember the podcast. I was like, oh, I got to go do all you garbage because they got my little stone next door. I bought two bags of shit today. That guy probably didn't know what hit him. He's probably down there scratching his head. I go every time. Come on. I was like, I be telling him, pal, get me over there.

I got to go. shot you're welcome anytime we love you so much and congratulations come on to the black Thanksgiving and get you some chicken dress I'm in Kippie what do you got for guys Philadelphia get your tickets and Atlanta we're at the Buckhead Theater and then Philadelphia we're at the Met all tickets available come see us at the Metcom yeah gang season three miss Pat settles it on BET and BET Plus do yourself in favor check it out miss Pat again we love you thank you gang we love you we'll see you next week Peace.