Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Natalie Cuomo: Classy Trashy

Episode Date: November 26, 2020

Kippy & Foley are back with HOT ep featuring the super funny Natalie Cuomo. Natalie talks trashy tattoos, growing up in Queens and stand up comedy as the  boys try to find out if she is classy or trashy. Lot of laughs! Enjoy! Bonus Episodes: www.Patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Get a Shirt: www.PodcastMerch.com Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage the show we sit down with your favorite comedians in front of the group classy or if they're a big old piece of trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day here at Antutti studio we're down here in the basement she's upstairs had a little oral surgery yesterday real stingy with the vikes

I'll tell you that but she's got the joint set up nice for Thanksgiving the smell down here is unbelievable it smells like pine cones okay I'm really really taking some liberties on these intros the past couple of weeks you don't think I got a spin-off cooking that I'm pitching hey Shakespeare wrap it up no one's tuning in for these my co-host is coming at you from right next to me he's my pal he keeps me in line he's my yin to my yang I don't know what I would fucking do without him gang the next time we do for a best pal you know the drill make it a kippy give it up for Kevin James Ryan hey what's up

everybody thanks so much for tuning in as always we really appreciate it please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes those numbers we were top 200 today no big deal you know what I mean send that to the boss up in corporate we're already out we felt we felt we felt some hands get some babies and we got to fuck at it I want to be showing off fucking Steve Jobs you know go fuck yourself also YouTube you can subscribe their full video in fucking HD baby that's what we're talking those numbers are through the roof as well we really appreciate that and then obviously the things that pay to bills what are we

talking here you know I'm talking about patreon slash are you garbage the goods go sign up you got it we need it you get bonus episodes bonus videos I'm doing coffee with kippy you're doing some food videos some food videos the bonuses are great it's cooking good time it's real content we're gonna be doing livestream with you guys at the end of the month yeah it's good time and also I mean there's a lot of fucking business we got to get out of shirts to go to podcast merch.com you can get yourself corbagia shirts clean living shirts if I can make it a kippy shirts the milkman shirts go get them help us pay the rent

in this fucking place it's due in a week just in time and kippy is out of operating capital mom if you hear this I need money so act now let's take a minute let's tip our caps to our producer extraordinaire he's the magic man new nickname T bone around the office and he doesn't like it that's how you know it's gonna let's see if it's thanks Toby McMullin everybody yeah T bone all right but let's get to the business here do for we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today a very requested guest you wanted her we got her she's here she's a big get we're

excited to have her here she's a very successful stand-up comedian actor and entrepreneur all right as an actor she's appeared in data management she has a podcast out called first trap and she's the co-founder of the magazine classy trashy co-founder name on the manifest fucking big time you keep saying that I don't know if that's the right word I don't know it's from social network one of the men the name of the man that's the other one got screwed gang do me a favor give me a nice big round of applause for Natalie quality coming in very requested and very I mean you're living in the world of trash that's

kind of your brand in the world of trash I love it but I've seen the magazine it's it's listen her trash in your trash are a little different she's cool hip trash you're fucking out by the dumpster her trashes leather jackets and motorcycles mines haven't showered in a couple of days and eating some questionable food out of the refrigerator yeah you know what I did change my tampon in the sci-fi aisle of Barnes and Noble yesterday holy shit what the fuck holy fuck why were you in a Barnes and Noble let's start changing the change the bathroom they're close to the public yeah that's true that's tough

that's why you see so you see so many people pissing and shitting everywhere because all the bathrooms yeah it's more unsanitary to do this you know what I don't get about the homeless poop in New York City why are you gonna breeze over she changed her tampon in the sci-fi section we're gonna move back to it why do they poop on the wall why is it cuz it blocks that way if you're I've thought about this a lot cuz I all right you think you would squat go go they will they bend down because nobody can see behind you then you only have a 180 degree of people that can see shit you don't want to be have your defense yeah

exactly all right um what'd you do with the other tampon since you brought it up goddamn Dewey Decimal System I put it in my hand did you wrap it up or anything did you barehand it oh my god you can't grab a napkin on your way in paper back something paper back I was going through my pants I needed a holy shit hard-being woman that's tough I that's I mean that's not that's it ain't class fucking Queen England ain't doing that but at the same time you're hemmed up in a bad situation I get it yeah wow I think

it's resourceful more than anything of course yeah I mean did they say sorry the bathrooms are closed at a public it was a situation where I was like my pants are gonna have a stain in T-minus 30 seconds so you walked in you said hey excuse me is okay if I use the bathroom no I looked around I I saw the sign on the bathroom door that said nope hmm and I got thinking yeah and it was there a reason you pick sci-fi where you're like this will be you know are you more of like a nonfiction kind of gal bunch of nerds in here show these nerds what a pussy looks like I've always hated sci-fi yeah damn funny all right so well let me

ask you this now do you not not in the cool edgy way the magazine did you buy anything do you think your garbage you don't oh interesting I was thinking about today I was listening to some podcast some of your podcasts this morning walk my dog and I was like I'm not garbage okay well we'll get to the bottom I like it I like a challenge there's very few people that came in and said I'm not garbage ended up not being garbage that's valid I think there's only two really we're gonna find out huh and we're gonna start now cuz now I got a fucking chip on my shirt let's see what's happening let's start with number

one word you grow up give us the origin story of Natalie Cuomo okay I grew up in Bayside Queens okay high school moved to Astoria okay huh public high school private high school public public apartment building two family home one family home a little apartment building a little apartment yeah your family own the building no you rented the apartment yes brothers and sisters no man she's under a fucking oath right now there's she's playing a lot yeah I like it she's like listen here fat so I ain't giving you the fucking I ain't giving you the rope to hang me keep it moving plugs the magazine walks out see a dorks

no brothers and sisters no I have three stepbrothers and this might be a dumb question stepbrothers on what side yeah so your parents have divorced when they separated when I was in fifth grade got divorced when I was senior high school that's a long separation here we go were they back and forth a little bit just like completely separated just never filed the papers they my mom slept on the couch the whole time okay here we go I like how that so what was that three minutes your mom and dad separated for a decade and she sleeps on the couch that's segalo family pedigree right there wow all right now let's back it up

a little bit okay so you're an only child you have your mom and your dad you're living out in Bayside you said in high school you moved to an apartment in Astoria with my mom I did a half half and happy how was what wasn't weekly or weekends or would you do every other way every other was you do a week with your mom and then go a week with your dad you're gonna go to Bayside what you do high school just the Q28 and the seven train I was in the back of the yellow bus with a Capri Sun lady your garbage there's no fucking school buses it's crazy to I always say kids in the city they grow up when they're sick I I remember

crying my eyes out when the yellow bus dropped me off in like sixth grade of my mom was there to pick me up just like you guys are taking the fucking subway at like four years old there's something bad doing showtime dancing and shit like that yeah yeah fucking crazy hmm it does it does grow you up quick for sure so your dad stayed in Bayside is this when they got separated in fifth grade okay so we're in fifth grade right now your mom moves to Astoria no no she moved to Astoria in the middle of high school so you guys stayed in the same apartment as they were separated and why did your mom sleep on the catch if your old man would

be out where's chivalry's dead huh I guess I guess once you're separated you're like yo tuts if you ain't paying a rent hit the pull out yeah exactly so it was the three of you yep and how did that all go explain that talk about that a little bit did they keep it like yeah it was a friendly did you have dinner it was like a springsteen song in there what was the deal um well I became a comedian so yeah it was like my two dads or anything yeah it wasn't awesome but it was just fine did they go back and today argue a little bit yeah I mean here's the thing if you I think when you give up on a relationship you stop

arguing because you're like because there's no real passion yeah I don't give a fuck and they both live their separate lives would they eat dinner together or no um sometimes how was that for you that's weird because I'm my parents divorced and then even when they would see each other like drop-offs and shit I be like yo don't make eye contact this is awkward look away it was weird you're going back and forth like you're in the mob whispered in each other's yeah that's that he'd have to check next week let me tell you that they didn't have the check next week were they still cool they're obviously still cool to you like you

still did things that your dad you still do things with your mom yeah yeah they're they're cool with each other now they're yeah now they all get cool after you're all fucked up and damaged I know everybody's cool now they're working it out yeah fuck you all right I'm in my fucking room writing songs in fucking sixth grade what about holidays would they pull together for that did you have extended family around you so yeah they pretended to be together for a little bit for the extent of family nice so I think that's why I love holidays why because it's a normal glimpse of normality yeah because everybody was

faking being happy I love festive shit I love it that's I love the sky for did they do it for a certain side of the family was like they were like was the dad side like hey listen we got to keep it together for my mom or something or was it just kind of understood yeah who was the problem where we did Thanksgiving with the dad I mean most of the holidays with my dad's side okay they're from Queens they're yeah they're both sides are from Queens both sides are from Queens interesting those families get along together yeah they're fine okay and obviously your mom and dad grew up together out there in Bayside

no my mom grew up in Jackson Heights my dad grew up in Belarus that's a real Queen story yeah I know I feel like yeah probably minutes I thought she was gonna like no my mom grew up in Florida she wrote like you know fucking seven minutes away okay so you're like you're like New York you're like Queens your crew and I am I am son of Sam the whole nine yards son of dad yeah all right very interesting so they kept it together so you guys lived why did he move with you he did it oh he did a mom story yeah so they did the sleeping on the couch thing you gotta leave give him a couple of minutes to catch up this is

like trash dynasty what did your dad do growing up he was an English teacher at Queens College respectable and mom landscape architects architects pretty good I'm gonna say landscape they breed them rough in Queens landscape architect she's a sign man on a road that the slow and stop that's why that's white collar shit though that's very and I know I did a little research on you I know you're an educated person as well you went to Bard College very classy private college in the Hudson Valley liberal arts college that's a little bit are you smart do you think um would you get on your SATs this is a big question

yeah I I know that and I can't wait to tell you I didn't even take that SATs what you're that smart no I'm not stupid I guess at a liberal arts college you probably didn't need to yeah I like listen you could take them if you want but it ain't gonna be good yeah they're like we care more about your essays it's real liberal arts but I thought you what's the ACT it's like the alternative is that's the one that's out of like 22 points or whatever 22 points 20 30 30 I remember people like I got a nine on the other way this is an SAT household 30 point how many questions are there I don't know that's like a lot yeah I'd be

pissed on Toby's got something did you take them okay what'd you get on that I think like a 27 that's 26 it's not okay and I think it's not well you're a good student in school yeah I went to a look did you go to you went to a performing arts high school though right you went to a straight regular high school I went to a high my high school is Bard High School early college Queens it was the first year it was a floor in a school in Elmhurst and then the next three years it was a floor in school in Long Island City talking about not being able to pay the rent what kind of schools switches year to year talk about keeping a low

profile rents out of another school yeah it was it was trashy for sure what was that like anybody could go there or was that like you got relegated there for some I thought it was performing arts or something like that wasn't performing arts you took a you took it you took like a test for that school but one of the questions was on the test what's the square root of 144 something yeah it was very easy very easy I would have never I was thinking to screw tonight is three right there you go there you go look at me where's that fucking AC mr. 890 over here watch out so you went to a good school and you went away to college yeah

so once your senior year was over with your parents that was all kind of yeah put behind you yeah yeah okay yep I graduated college at 20 that's good yeah that's really quick yeah how many years did you do it I did three yeah why did you take summer classes no because I was awesome night school did you go to night school no I just feel like I don't get enough credit for being smart in my life so that's great you didn't take the SATs what are you supposed to go on yeah you tell me you got a 27 and some fucking suck up the test I mean you could have been doing fucking knock-knock jokes I don't know could have been card tricks for all

I know true it's true that's pretty good three years that's I mean that's a fucking mover and shaker did you just act three years of credits well my high school was like oh early yeah early college so this all sounds like a setup did you have to pay to go to this high school no it was like for like a charter school it's supposed to be like diverse the high school okay and yet you had paid to go to college though right yeah I did pay to go to college your papa's flipping that pill your mom and your dad my grandma here we go so is there a little bit of cash in the family no grandma just had a little

nest egg yeah she doesn't know she was paying kept going into her sock drawer every semester grabbing a couple of fucking stacks out obviously no relation to the governor no okay no why do you say obviously I don't know from the living on the couch thing a couple other tidbits information I picked up in the last ten minutes you weren't at the fucking governor's mansion having lemonade's and mint tulips no I just thought it would be too easy you know what I mean and you would have maybe mentioned that right right yeah but I figured Queens Cuomo yeah you said you were from Tennessee he's is he from

Queens though he's from New York yeah he's like he's he's like upstate he's guy okay he grew up in like Syracuse or something that's all phone at all that's all phone where this is not political show all right unless my mom calls in again yikes passes himself off as a real fucking New York for a kid from fucking Rochester all right so that's the fucking story I'm tall I don't I mean I'm torn going into this a little bit I mean the family situation that's a little dicey but that happens doesn't determine no whether you're trash or so let's get into you garbage here all right okay I see we're gonna have to do

this the traditional way you still holding on saying you're not garbage where we at I might I'm a little okay I'm garbage but yeah is there anything in the origin story you're not telling us that would maybe you plan anything close to the chest yeah well it is okay I don't know that you know you're fucking something fucked up yeah something fucked up or like not like you know my arm ripped off I think the most garbage thing about me is that I every time I think I'm gonna marry someone I get their name tattooed I've had to cover up two people's names yes that's something wow where objection your honor she was

withholding evidence at the discovery here let's go here we go where are the tattoos okay so one is like oh yeah you're all tatted up so it's a little different she's got a lot of tattoos that is a little different but that's very cool arm and arm and rip well ribbed out of a guy's name what's his name if you don't do not want to Daniel and what was the second guy's name John so you got you were engaged to both of these people I wasn't engaged I just like them a lot but you were in a relationship with them yeah but we were like oh we're gonna get married I love you blah blah blah sure that happens okay no it doesn't

what are you talking about a little bit when you're young when you're young and in love sure all right not a meathead like you all right unromantic okay talked about you get romantic yeah get snuggly well you turn these lights off I'll show you yeah well hold on what was if you don't mind how old are you now can I ask you how old I am 25 holy shit you're young all right cuz I was gonna say when was the last person you did that too in what year like who was the last one John or Danny so I'm currently engaged so name Jake I have his name five times

yikes Jake you ain't going anywhere buddy a lot of tattoo removal money pack a bag hit the fucking bricks will you she know you're engaged yeah does he even has have you just you just watching from a four you don't have it like Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake in a row like a Joker or something like that do you know I'm okay where are the five oh yeah you're trash I'm sorry I'm sorry you are cherry who got it first you were hammered you go together mmm does he know about the other two plus sorry does he know about the other two bozos the first one we got together okay well you

guys already engaged are we just in a relationship no it's two weeks after where was it said fucking Vegas Jersey down the show even worse no down the shore we Hawkins all right so how long this is insane how long have you been together you're gonna have so if you do get married and say last you know you get just say you get married in the last 20 years are you gonna like every year get five new you'll have like fucking 10,000 Jake tattoos by the end of your marriage yeah I'm down who is that a continuing thing or do you feel like you've had enough Jake tattoos I think we've moved on to maybe matching matching

okay how many tattoos do you have currently I like that I don't I don't hundred yeah 60s let me ask you this as someone who's experienced with tattoos when you go in to get matching tattoos do you get a deal no no deal there's no discount that's it Foley's out yeah do you put like you probably have a military ID or a girl like you have an artist I have my cover-up guy and you know it's bad when you got a cover on your ass shit with Tony break out Lucille can you turn that why to an M I just I'll find a guy named Tom oh my god so that's where the garbage rolls in I suppose yeah there we go what did you what do you what

did you do in the summer as a kid where would you guys go on vacation where did this come from Rockaway or your dad have tattoos was your dad a motorcycle guy what is this and do you have a motorcycle I do yeah you have you personally have a motorcycle you're right I don't know I have an 85 iron head sounds cool I got a 76 fathead right bonus points is that the year you were born some quick math in my head funny and accurate no fake news here that's an 1140 out there guys that's that's an 1140 get you did you grow up riding motorcycles no you didn't know so you was anybody in the family into motorcycles

no no no so who got you into motorcycles Danny Jake oh Jake oh new Jake this Jake all right okay what she's still young though man thing so figure it out I know you know it's okay but what's the tattoo Dan it is it say Daniel or is it say Danny it said Daniel now it's a butterfly I like it so I can't hate it yeah huh cocoon butterfly growing up if any of these guys ever sold weed is what I want to know no well I don't know not when they were with me okay anybody any biker were the other two guys biker guys to no no they were just regular do were they tattoo guys one was tattoo guy one was

just out of character for me and did wait what do you know no what's out of character just like not my type okay not my type but you still got his name tattooed yeah cuz I'm fucking crazy did he have it picking up on that coming out what you're putting down and it's out yeah did he have any tattoos at the time the first guy are the the one that was out of character out of character never doesn't have any tattoos so you just went like hey I got a tattoo of you yeah we were long distance and one day that's talking what are you talking about do you have how long distance California New York it's pretty long it's pretty

long so yeah I'm stable I love it that's okay it's okay stable doesn't really unstable I don't know the tattoos are taught that's tough to bounce back from really I mean you have yeah you have multiple men's name tattoo they're covered they're gone but they were they bad breakups do one of them was a bad breakup yeah bad breakups always a good son any cops ever involved I don't know you never know you know I will redeem myself by the end of this okay okay I'm I mean you got some you know we gotta stay we'll stay away from the family stuff we'll give you an opportunity to redeem yourself focus on Natalie now thank

you with the 12 tattoos 12 60 is there anything in your house that says live left alone no you're a you're very anti that I would pick up yeah I've not it's not my vibe yeah okay where are you you guys live together now you and your fiance yes apartment home apartment apartment okay all right fair enough do you guys have any home improvement projects that have been left undone that I've been sitting around for a half painted bathroom a shelf that's in the hallway shout out to my wife okay okay if I went over to your house right now what would and I asked for water what would you give me a cup out of the sink

Britta I got sense like four cases of these cans of water I'd probably give you one of those promo you're giving us promo cans yeah I don't hate it yeah I use it if you got it in the fridge yeah it's in the fridge and you still have some that's not in the fridge like you still have a stocked up I have some outside in the backyard you got a yard yeah bitch I got a yard however she's got yard money where okay so I gotta get a motorcycle so you got cases of water that are out back on the porch yeah okay that's fair no that's garbage my aunt and my uncle used to keep cases of soda out on the on the back porch I got sparkling on the

porch still in the fridge that's pretty I mean it's not great it's not ideal still canned oh it's all still what's the brand liquid death knew it called murder juice yeah I thought you're gonna say you got a couple cases a little Croy or something around now she's got a little harder a little more edge to her than the quack certain death what's it called liquid death yeah delicious that's great all right do you have your passport yeah when did you get it when I was a kid where did you go my parents were together we would go to cool places in Europe that's crazy okay then when they separated we started went to

Baltimore they had good crack what do you want talking about the bottom of the aquarium yes I love the aquarium it's fun it's fun for a kid but I mean if you're going to Baltimore if you're going to the Baltimore Aquarium and you live in New York New Jersey Pennsylvania it's a trash vacation Baltimore's a tough get you draw first of all you drive by four different aquariums to get to Baltimore Aquarium there's one in Philly there's a couple in Jersey Baltimore it is pretty good I stand by this Baltimore as a whole it's pretty yeah it really is it's like what are you doing here that's every time I think of

Baltimore what's going on here what are we doing aren't you live in DC or Philly or whatever European trips as a kid such as where'd you go dude we went to fucking Italy Portugal Spain so that was a little cash rolling around yeah I mean it's not like a lot of crazy we never went to fucking Europe as a kid because you're uncultured idiots we went down the shore and that's an expensive fucking vacation yeah I'd say it's a similar similar price once you get you know pay for the plane I mean that was probably that was costing your parents thousands of dollars yeah to go take a whole family down the shore per

week how can we go to Europe because you had too many siblings I bet just to yeah it's too many no it's also to you weren't only child too so it's kind of just like your parents on a vacation a little bit as well they don't have to take the whole family that makes sense it's very it's very man people get the board all right you gotta do what you gotta do they live together for a little while they fucking try maybe maybe they were trying to make it work for all we fucking know and then senior year in high school they were like you know what fucking I'm moving to Queens with the kid hmm have you ever been to a ruby

Tuesdays no pretty good Olive Garden no outback steakhouse yes okay recently not recently not recently I've ever worked in any of these places what were some of the jobs you had high school college etc etc I worked at max bratwurst in Astoria I worked at this place upstate for a few years in college called Hotel Tivoli then I moved down I worked at gossip coffee and variety coffee so all pretty pretty good pretty cool yeah the bratwurst place is that like a local staple no it's trash but it's not because it's its own you know it's independent yeah yeah yeah pretty cool gossip coffee that's pretty

fancy right sounds it yeah gossip girl cool music playing does anyone in your family play scratch off lottery tickets sorry I shouldn't laugh no okay well if you play scratch off a lot of look it down the barrel if you play scratch off lottery tickets okay yeah there's no qualms here your garbage that's on the shortlist for my Christmas those I want the new one that they have yeah the diamond game it's 30 bucks you gotta win 30 you gotta win something every time for 30 bucks you gotta win dude I want five for sure I for sure get scratchers yeah and I say I let the kids scratch them off but I know what's

fucked I got my lucky quarter and everything lucky quarter oh yeah is it your birthday no just my last one that's my cottage cheese no middle name I have two middle names here we go there's one of you Catholic no one is Hannah which is normal the other one's my mom's last name which is Sporn Sporn why do you have two middle names did they say my mom my mom wanted her name to be included I never understood I never you know why she was on the couch a little pushy throwing the name on do you know how old you are the first time you had

lobster she's traveling to Italy Friday at all that shit no I mean I was a vegetarian for I probably like two years ago I had lobster I think you were classy and now you became trash oh she's still pretty I mean there's not much super trashy I mean the tattoos tough the mom on the couch for a decade tough let's talk about the apartment okay any beaded curtains separating the rooms no look how cool she is what are you talking about her she's not shopping at Spencer's dude beaded curtains is anyone say yes to that I hold a couple of guys I wanted to put one in my wife was like are you what I'm saying this I'm

going on the whole motorcycle vibe any wait you think beaded curtains or motorcycle vibe I don't know I have limited access to that world dude if you got a million going on a couple old episodes of chips that I saw what do you want from you'd be the guy on the trike you'd have the two wheels you could yeah you couldn't know never I wrote one of those big bikes when you see the old couples driving like the couples that were tired they have like the huge saddle things on the side they have like headsets and stuff like that yeah radio going yeah I'd be in the little cart the little side car yeah I'd be what I'd

be rocking it I had one of those on my bike as a kid it was walking that's your dog in it now I didn't have a dog at the time put my friend Matt in it how did you put that must have been that must have been a lot of pendulum that's like rickshaw work fuck no because the guy would push it the side car guy would push it till you get going sweet dude jump in it like a Bob my stepdad made it for me because he's like he like he's a crazy mechanic guys so he built it like then all the tube and stuff and fucking welded it on it was fucking I was fucking he's got a shop okay it's not where we were fucking tack welding in the

basement do you have any candles large candles that you just let melt into the table no that they all have candle holders yeah yeah yeah any skull candle holders skull skull like a human skull not real skull but like do you have any skulls in your house I do have some skulls is that trashy it ain't classy pay it out lady what are you talking about skull are those skulls that my mom sounds a couple days before the 31st and there's a couple of fucking sweet tarts oh man what are the skulls there's like one gold skull piggy bank I'll give you that it's functional at least yeah I know what you said I bet your

apartment's probably cool you shit it is cool yeah but and then there's like some I don't know deer skull thing oh yeah your skull I feel like that's rustic no much trash it's garbage yeah they got one at the White House what is that dear not standalone yeah rub it for good luck go get the scratches and rub the deer head I would I would I mean you're it's also tough because you're very cool you are a very cool person she's I give you that is very cool so it is cool I think most people that would have a deer if it was me yeah yeah I mean yeah it's a little different and it's more stylish it's more yeah it's a little different

but it ain't it ain't class and you're vegan now you heard you know no no during the pandemic I started eating meat again okay I think she got the deer head yeah but don't is your boyfriend vegetarian or vegan no no no okay but for how long were you a vegan eight years vegetarian vegetarian for eight years now you're off I'm off okay hmm do you have any cats no dog dog yes okay what kind of dog probably cool dog he's awesome he's does he have a motorcycle he's he wants one he's a he's like a mutt he's like a Aussie cattle min pin kind of rescue yeah pretty cool yeah all right rescued dogs I love him pretty classy interesting go

to salad dressing what go to salad dressing vinegar like some sort of vinaigrette I was looking for a hidden valley ranch let's see if you got any on ya was the correct answer pretty classy what about the shower you have a lot of empty shampoo bottles everywhere no no I think you're just describing your house at this point you keep empty shampoo bottle because you want the last little it might be some in there I don't know what about the soap is it bar is it or is it it's very nice it is like Myers yeah he's not using Irish spring okay no we're good not a bar dial anything like that I

no no no I just I get excited about soap me to my big soap guy yeah Beekman 1802 goat's milk soap that's what we're rocking right now it doesn't wash off you though I feel like I'm in a fucking earners I feel like I'm in a weather churn in me or something it keeps it hard it's like wax in there it keeps a coat on you like like some sealant it's like waterproof you start beating up it's good shit though hmm ever waiting line to meet a celebrity no ever been a member of a studio audience no man do you drink yeah what's your go-to drink I like cider hard cider apple cider I like apple cider yeah I mean no hard side hard cider I like apple cider was wrong with spiced rum apple cider with my festive drink yeah it's pretty

festive yeah if it's cold out you get that going curl up so fun you make it at the house you heat up the cider yeah yeah it's nice do you have a fireplace damn I was just gonna say that I do in the apartment it's electric yeah oh no it's nice come on wait electric how like there are coals that you like turn on yeah it's nice wait a minute there's no actual flame there's a flame there's a flame but you turn it on what's the power what's keeping the flame going is it get hooked up to a gas electric yeah it's electric boogie woogie woogie what are you not getting about it's electric wait a minute hold on but there's gas that feeds into it no it's electric probably how can there be flames if it's electric I don't know they're called electric I don't know we're

expected there's an on button you turn it on and there's flames I don't know what you're trying to pull sounds like a black and decker um okay okay you have a fire pit outside in the backyard I do do you do you have exposed brick in your house no okay any artwork hanging on the walls artwork yeah anybody we'd know this is the same thing that happened with Ralph remember Ralph Sutton yeah what happened with him he's a big you know you're you're you're just classy you're rock and roll yeah he's rock and roll yeah yeah yeah we thought it would be fucking easy I mean we got you a little bit we got you a little I mean the tattoos are tall I shouldn't have given it away honestly that's

who do you mean it's who we want I know you don't gotta play defense in here I guess what do we we vogue magazine over here come on you're a good company have you ever made nachos in the microwave yeah oh that's pretty trashy not often but doesn't matter it's trashy right huh brush your teeth in the shower no why do you say it like that I do sometimes but not really okay yeah okay yeah yeah keep the butter on the counter keep it in the fridge fridge interesting what do you what do you shop at was your grocery store skull and bones I death is pure I gotta have the avocados though they're unbelievable I do like the hobo can target it's a little trashy it's all right target I mean you know they know what

they're one stop yeah they know what they're doing one stop shop stop the two we stop they have organic shit I know fully I don't think it's garbage I'm not saying it's classy I'm not getting my milk the same place I can get a fucking button down shirt triple XL really because it's the same brand that's going to be at stop and shop yeah it's changed I understand what you're thinking you're thinking from 15 years ago it's different I know about target 15 years ago okay I like Trader Joe's I just I like that classy we're big Trader Joe's yeah I like Trader Joe's went this Sunday they you know Trader Joe's is good at they do everything for you they have like these little snacks and you know what they have that I can't shake a stick at they got fucking little

pretzel bites at a peanut butter inside oh my god yeah yeah yeah fucking crush those nothing wrong with a fucking bag of pretzel bites a little peanut butter in it fantastic you're pre-diabetic there is something wrong with that well I can't have any more and if I do I just have a handful and I'm having them and I'm your hands are huge that's way more than a serving size big fellow I'm pre pre-diabetic no that the official ruling who made dude the lies I got one more I got one more cheeseburger the lies he'll make up in his head I got one more cheeseburger in me all right um do you know how to operate a forklift by any chance no okay do you not have to fix anything on the motorcycles yeah that's part of that's their gear head that's pretty classy though

it is classy but it's kind of gross too what does your boyfriend do what does your fiance do so he he works at this place that they make magnetos which is a thing that you put on a motorcycle so you can run it without a battery and makes it go faster sounds like it's in the future this guy magnetos I thought you're gonna try to play defense about the plates he works at this place they do things and they're they make burgers they're kind of the king it's you know I thought it was gonna be something but that's I got a buddy skilled labor skilled labor yeah that's pretty impressive I got a buddy who's once you get into motorcycles you're like in here in the world it's like he's same thing like he started you know rev something everything hey you gotta do a job it's always

like yeah I'm at muffler rink or something no they can they play close to the chest those motorcycle guys they do did you ever have family that lived with you no pretty good I have a quick one Toby please so you got the magazine class to trash classy trash classy trash magazine great everybody go check it out yeah what do you define as trashy what do I define as trashy yeah it's pretty good I mean that's uh just it's very ellen question I guess just like uh stuff that's busted I don't know just like yeah not refined wrapping stuff together kind of I think for the magazine it's more like it's like real people which is shouldn't be trashy but it's like it's not supposed to be as refined it's supposed to have like a bit of not as elegant it's not as

polished yeah very real yeah but the layout's really cool the layout's cool yeah yeah it looks really sharp thank you so we can't say it's garbage hmm how do you pronounce the things you color with like the wax things you color with like a coloring book how do you pronounce them Crayola makes them how would you pronounce that word crayon crayon that's right I was like are we there are people say crayon crayon I say crayon yeah it's crayon yeah because you're fucking garbage but crayon crayola crayons oh my god I say crayons sometimes but it's crayons we say what crayons but I'm garbage I mean crayons this guy fought on the steps he's like dad always say hey go get the crayons oh my god oh wow yeah we're trash have you ever owned a hacky sack no

skateboard yeah I mean she's about to do a kickflip pull out couch at the house right now no have you ever worn a make seven up yours t-shirt because I have that's specific I got kicked out of howling jr high for that shit holy shit I don't know she's getting bulletproof here do you know how to use the devil sticks what the sticks with the two the two sticks and you hit the stick back and forth devil sticks no no no can you juggle the way she said she the way she asked me what I thought I thought I was I thought I didn't know what I was talking about I'm like the things with the things she looked into my fucking soul and was like what are you talking about Baldi who were you

you're old gross dude that she like looked and then looked at getting like threw me all right that's good you're pulling out of it here yeah okay have you ever smoked pot out of a soda can yes recently no okay you've done any other drugs out of a soda can um I don't understand how no me either all right moving right along um is the bed in the corner of your room no there is room on both fucking sides baby is there a box spring or some sorry is there a bed frame or is the bed on the floor bed frame pretty good bad frame canopy any mirrors or anything like that mirrors canopy like there's somebody who has a white top cut isn't that the thing I thought it was in in the sex scene there's drapes and flowy

that's just drapes and cinematography I'm talking like one of those we know what a canopy is they're pretty garbage okay I think they're pretty classy okay I don't know can you whistle with your fingers no can you do anything weird with your toes like pick things up or draw or anything like that no are you currently double join it no you ever see the kid that does that with his arm man that guy didn't work out shout out to Matt hit the bricks that guy didn't become a lawyer when the fucking kid at the bus stop could fucking put his arm up his ass that was always fucking freak show hmm what were the pets growing up or currently I mean currently you have a dog what were the pets I have a dog I had two frogs and hermit crabs

frogs are no no welcome back yeah welcome I think how do you have a frogs in a queen's apartment they're what do you mean they're a little what do you know what a frog they're just tied to a fish it's not like she said lion they're like tiny they're like a little fish tank I don't know the mom's in the living room what do you mean they'll look at me like I'm a fucking asshole I think I grew up trashy I do trashier than you are now you think I'm garbage you're pretty refined I think I'm putting myself I mean you're yes you're one together I want no no wine with dinner I have wine glasses in your house currently I do the big ones like the nice ones I have multiple sizes very good when was the last time you had a rotisserie chicken um a rotisserie chicken like a full cooked chicken

yeah like from the grocery store do not know what we're talking about no I do I just started eating meat guys I'm just saying if you didn't know I didn't know that last yeah you would have I would have given the keys to the studio literally that's fucking clay you don't know what a roto is wow roto gang stand up those shirts are coming soon where are you at roto gang um hmm did you ever have a cookie cake for your birthday growing up a cookie yeah she's why I don't know how man she scares me when she was she was imagine getting it she turns she turns her head like a dog who's like is he's fucking I think you're an android or something like that cookie talking to us like you're artificial intelligence scaring the shit out of it yeah like the cake it's like a big cookie

okay I mean it's pretty good have you ever sent an unprovoked dm to a celebrity yes I have who was it I honestly were you sliding was it Chris Angel or somebody like that because that was was it Manson or somebody who was it no no I've uh I've slid into Jason Momoa's dms I think I make sense I would do that too I mean that's a fair game yeah I'll give you that and just like as an attempt to be like y'all what's good what are you doing you're in town I've got your name tattooed on my phone give me a call I got your name tattooed on my stomach eight times if I don't hear back it's gonna be nine times I'm sincerely yours Natty it's just a picture of his name on my ass what am I kidding hmm no sports team tattoos or anything like that right no she doesn't pay me

for a football fan no uh Tasmanian double tattoos or anything like that pretty have you ever owned a snuggie no have you ever ordered a sham well no have you ever sold anything door to door over the phone no do you have what kind of uh your silverware is it a sink is it a set or is it all mix and match it's a Ikea set yeah yeah how many forks would you say you have you're currently have you know I've got the big forks and little guys wow you got salad for pretty what'd you have for breakfast um I didn't eat this morning yeah intermittent fasting very class do you have dinner planned for tonight because there's something sitting out no there's some chicken and broccoli at home not like there's chicken and there's broccoli there's

chicken uncooked chicken no there's cooked chicken and some baked broccoli and cauliflower in the fridge is the chicken grilled or is it breaded and fried it's uh it's it was in the oven it was in the oven I like to use those are the only two chickens for you was it grilled or breaded and fried staker was awesome did it have mommy sauce on it yeah otherwise there's no healthier way to cook chicken what I'm what I'm trying to get to is well we'll under normal circumstances not the pandemic you know you and your boyfriend you both their fiance have busy lives will you take something out of the freezer and leave it in the sink to defrost oh well that's not trashy I think that's much garbage why I mean my mom did it don't you have to defrost it like I don't leave and

shit in the sink while you're at work all day it's not I don't know I mean if you try to microwave it that's trashy yeah yeah it actually thaw out do we bacon now I do we bacon and where do you cook the bacon you cook it in the microwave or in a skillet on the skillet yeah okay she's not do you have a grill at the house in the backyard yeah charcoal or gas both what do you mean both I have both grills so you got the old schooler yeah and then you have a gas grill yeah yeah yeah not bad yep any burners on that gas grill on the side side burners you could like heat a pot of baked beans or something um and or do you know the name brand of it you got a Weber yeah really that's pretty greasy it's actually a really fucking nice girl just got it

girls put together and I'm getting my life in check you guys okay you have a bean bag at your apartment no okay moving on check well thanks for stopping by how do you feel about stuff crust pizza what stuff crust pizza I am dude I've never been so shook by a guest in my life never had it I'm sorry a couple of dorks you put chicken out of the army what's here what's the tv situation over there big screen actually Daniel got me a tv when I the x you got the x how does Jake feel about that he loves it it's a great tv yeah big screen

he's talking some dude thanks hey thanks a lot Danny boy I'll send you the time-warner bill when what are we talking about here big screen nice yeah it was so big that I said to my therapist the tv is too big well I've never had that problem yeah have you ever had a backstage passes no I've never had backstage passes that's a good question though that is pretty good you seem like a backstage pass kind of gal I can see that you've been backstage at like a rat concert or something have you ever crowd surfed no okay who's your favorite band I like the grateful dad didn't see that coming pretty good I don't know how to feel about that one I like them too have you ever been on a cruise no damn anybody in your family ever own a convertible

no I've never been in a convertible really yeah that's weird yeah it is that might be trashy I don't know you've never been in a convertible not a PT cruiser or something like that oh man I was saving that question for somebody anybody in your family on a PT what about when you were on vacation Italy weren't you zipping around in a in a something a fucking fiat or yeah and give you a Lamborghini when you got there and now they didn't know what you think Italy is I'm gonna give you a pizza we're missing out on all that coffee give you a pizza and a fucking convertible uh we got nothing I mean yeah she's pretty bullet I mean she's got a couple of tendencies fish tank in the apartment now now no no what does that mean no I used I used to have fish tanks

I was a kid yeah we didn't have a fish tank yeah pretty good have you ever owned a snake or a lizard no do you sleep with a fan directly on you no how many pillows the how many pillows are on the bed right now uh we have a king size bed with seven pillows king size was that Danny's too no really double down it's more fucking bastard he's more of a twin if you catch my drift uh king size bed with room on the side yeah in the middle of the room it's jersey they live in Jersey nice they got some they got some space showy now when you sleep do you have pillows how much what's the sleeping positions I like to be on the like line line my side okay I have either one really flat pillow or sometimes use a second one uh Jake does the pillow between the

legs garbage love it need it we gotta have a dog in the bed dog in the bed that's all I like that that's all right be considered it's not yeah I mean it's dairy you got a city dog a city dog in the in the bed yeah but I love him so much I know I also don't love germs though that's gross really yeah now when we go home to my parents if we don't bring the cat if we're just going for like a night or something like that the dog will sleep in the bed with us it's the best yeah it's nice morning oh it's so nice where else are you supposed to put the dog I don't know what don't out back people don't I mean what's your dog's name Rory good name it's pretty good yeah it's a pretty good dog name yeah does he have one of those spike collars no no he is he has a does he have any

tattoos no I have a tattoo of him okay that's like DMX why he's got a picture of his one love boomer it's the first dog that he had that died it broke his broke his heart Earl Simmons never bounced back from that one love boomer he's got a bit like the world's worst tattoo on his back it looks like I drew it it's horrible do you have a grapple dead tattoo no that would be trash any other bands though no I don't have any bands do you have any other sayings sayings or words like loyalty and strength a lot of my friends have those I have queens on my most of them are in rehab too queens is all right I mean if you're not queens I give it to you yeah one if you're already in the tattoo world and you know you're a queen's gal I get it yeah I had one but I forgot

it ooh any incense burning at the apartment I don't like incense no do you sage the apartment I have saged it in the past but I haven't recently have you ever had your palm red no ever been to a medium no hmm pretty good so this is it's interesting because I feel like those are expensive things what's getting your palm red no going to a medium I guess it's all depending you get a coupon yeah it could be some some housewife in fucking Jersey have you ever left a bad yelp review oh that's not a no I think I got her here we go I honestly I have giraffe yes I have left a bad yelp review I have tweet the deets I have but I have had a bad yelp review written about me so I feel like you're on yelp where got some coffee yeah the coffee shops they would talk shit about

or talk shit on the what on yelp about you yeah yeah yeah well what they would what they'd be like let me get a medium coffee and you were like what yeah no apparently it's the attitude a little bit I slammed the card on the table what do you mean apparently they caught like a their credit card they I swiped it and apparently I slammed it on the table when I gave it back to them and you're supposed to hand it to them oh you're a little crazy the fact you haven't forgotten that and I can tell it's still bothering you she's like apparently you're supposed to hand it back to them wait oh that tattoo is coming it was like go town in midtown what was your it was what go town in midtown that was the shot coffee shop that happened go town what was the yelp review

that you left oh my god this place in jersey city called mod cup okay you're doing it coffee mod cup coffee yes exactly we have another coffee shop yes Jesus did you start out I usually don't do this but um I did yeah it's my only can you pull it up pull it up you got it you got it pull it up actually this is trashy I have a fake yelp account that I'm logged into right now and not that one and I have a fake name you got a burner yelp account and fucking lunatic she's just she's leaving she's leaving reviews at her old cafe I miss Natalie so much she handed me my credit card perfectly every time so yeah hell holy shit yeah yeah yeah okay I just want to review here mom's on the couch mom's on the couch for a decade 10 years from five to 15 the tattoos tattoos of

she has multiple men's named tattooed on covered up the the aquaman fucking stalk letter that sliding in the DM sliding the Jason mowa's DM bad yelp reviews one bad yelp review she's got skulls at the house dog in the bed I'm not doing the dog in the bed thank you because I'm a doggy I mean given all right we got one two three four five like six or seven bad answers maybe but we asked you about fucking 500 questions true we normally I mean the tampon and the sci-fi thing oh fuck but that's more of an opportunity you know I mean that's that's your hand up in advance it's I get I get it let's trashier that or having like stained pants and you know I understand you pooped your pants no you want to yeah um hmm hmm hmm I think that's it I mean

this girl's pretty good pretty good I don't think I got a good case to say she's garbage all class oh my god thank you ready class I wouldn't say all class the tampon thing too I mean you know you're a woman you had to do you're in a bad situation what are you gonna do yeah what are you gonna do hmm so I can't even even you're fucking your past your parents that you know your mom might have been sleeping on the couch but you're still fucking hobnob and off to fucking Europe you're it's pretty good yeah I mean Baltimore though yeah you have family in Baltimore how many times did you go to Baltimore went to Baltimore several times did you stay there or drive home the same day at the night oh why why how was that a vacation aquarium was nice but that's what you did

hey we're gonna go to Baltimore again for we go to Baltimore mystic seaport what's mystic seaport to see oh on the yeah yeah yeah yeah Philly DC those were like the the post separation vacation spot we're from Philly that's a bad vacation no so one of them would take who would take you on these my mom my mom oh man so that's taken to Europe mom's they were going to Europe together then yeah I mean Italy Italy and fucking Prague to Philly and Baltimore is a change that's a tough one but you can't blame her on her past no you're all class buddy class in my book oh my god this is a great day I'm gonna get your names tattooed perfect ending that's so in the other guy that's so in the bald man holy shit Natalie what do you

want people out there to know we obviously have the magazine I have the magazine I have the podcast thirst trap podcast you can follow it on instagram at thirst trap the pod follow me on instagram at nataliecomo underscore and check out my magazine classy trash and magazine and they could find classy trashy on instagram correct yes at classy trash magazine very nicely unbelievable great times very fun kippy what do you got to tell them out there guys as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes keep us in the top 200 or get us back there whenever you're hearing this uh also full video full hd video available on youtube subscribe there as well shirts are available at podcast merch dot com get those perfect for the holiday season stocking stuff or

go with a little couple of scratchers uh and then patreon dot com guys go sign up you can get bonus content you can help us support help us keep the fucking lights on here help us uh you know pay for the big bands uh fried chicken or whatever he does and i'm at kevin ryan comedy on all social media ad h folia nice on twitter folie grams on instagram big shout out to our main man t bone tebow mcwellan producer extraordinaire at toby dot mcwellan on instagram very nice and gang if you're hearing this uh relatively soon have a safe and happy holiday weekend and we'll see you guys next time peace