Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - New Cuisines w/ Paul Virzi!

Episode Date: October 14, 2024

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Paul Virzi! You know Paul Virzi from Stand up Comedy, the Joe Rogan Experience, The Tim Dillon Show, Whiskey Ginger, Your Mom's House, Stavvy's World, We Might Be Drunk, and more! Check out his new special "Reasonable Man" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG & Friends 11/8: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Promo Code: Garbage Acorns: Head to https://acorns.com/GARBAGE or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today! Shopify: https://shopify.com/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Fum: https://www.tryfum.com/garbage Promo Code: garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gang, we're back in the New York groove, baby. We're going to be doing another installment of Are You Garbage and Friends November 8th at Chelsea Musical. It's going to be a fun one. Yeah, we got Sam Morell, we got Francis Ellis and Mike Cannon all there to play AYG with you guys. All tickets available at are you garbage dot com. Limited tickets. It's going to sell out.

We'll see you there. Oh, welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh, yeah. So that little show, we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that they grow to be classy.

Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, A.Trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She's upstairs reading her new book. OK, the Kama Sutra. Freaky. Table for one. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He's the CEO of our you garbage He is the chicken parm hero give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan. What up everybody?

Thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate re subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube then obviously the greatest website of all time Patreon.com slash are you garbage you go over there get all that bonus content gang Yes, sir a gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guests back with us again today He is a fan favorite mr Class and he's got a brand new special out right now on his youtube page reasonable man and the word on the street This is his best work ever give it up for the one the only mr. Paul Verzi everybody Coming out swinging no place. I'd rather be Back here with you. I've been waiting for where the fuck is the invite?

Bullshit you know you call no more 60 minutes on stage. That costs 50 grand a fucking year to come out here. I can't take a fucking loan out to be on this show every fucking year. Henry Hill, when he got out of prison, no invites to Paul Lee's interview. No one's touching me no more.

My age is gonna be, why you doing another one so quick? I don't fucking do all your garbage. I can't be doing return my text messages unless I got a new special. I gotta turn in my fucking Lexus and do this fucking thing again. Buddy, congrats. Thank you, man.

Brand new special, reasonable man, it's on your YouTube page, Den Theater, Chicago. Dude, it was fantastic. Yeah? It was fantastic. And this one, you know, I kinda did the streaming thing before, you know, 2018. I did Comedy Central, 2022, I did Netflix, and I kinda just saw what was going on

and you gotta play that game. You put it out and you gotta like, you do it and then, oh, there's so and so and this takes long. Comedy Central took me a year and a half for them to play it once. Just, yeah, thanks. Paul Verzi, don't wait around, baby.

I was excited for their fucking midnight premiere that they played once. I had family members die before they saw that fucking thing. I got a goddamn mortgage to pay for here. What are we doing? And then listen, Netflix, I can't say anything bad about Netflix, Netflix was great to me. They really took my, you know, just took my brand

and took my comedy to another level. And I have to, but I just started seeing it as just like, it's the same thing. It's like it comes out and then a week later, another one comes out a week later. And then after six weeks, it's better. You got to tell people the same thing. And I was it comes out and then a week later, another one comes out a week later, and then after six weeks, it's better. You gotta tell people the same thing. And I was like, the one thing that I was lacking,

I felt like, was like, why don't you build your own channel? Why don't you really? So we just revamped the channel. I'm gonna put the Comedy Central and the Netflix on the channel eventually. Reasonable Man is cooking right now, and then all the podcast stuff. But it's risky, you know, you're scared

because you're like, I put my own money up and I'm doing this all grassroots And you know I'm fucking knocking doors You gotta run out by the Mrs. Before you before you drop that check I'm stupid I ain't poor, all right? I'll do a Christmas gig, what are you worried about? I'll do a Christmas gig. Yeah, I'll fucking get on a horn with somebody. Get on the horn. UBS, I'll do a fucking Christmas for UBS.

It's a weekend in Nashville, what's in the back, don't worry. So, but I gotta be honest, I didn't know and the risky thing was I was like, I'm not doing this shit on 800lbs, I'm not doing it with all these companies. These names and names, shout out to Mr. Verzi, came in with a chip on his shoulder. No no no no no no listen I love listen they were all they were no no they were all night.

I got you a fucking 800 pounds. It's like after the christening everyone's getting whacked. Some guy's getting a massage he's gonna pull it through his eye. I don't care where you got it take it back don't get it out of here. Dude all the heads of these comedy production companies are showing up dead. The first these specials just came out. No.

Uh. Tooby. Ain't gonna see them no more. Right? Who's the CEO of Veep? Uh, no, so, uh. Quibi. Get that prick from Crackle on the phone.

So, you know, we just, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna just build my shit. There you go. And one of my favorite comments though, one dude goes, I'm a few minutes in and I just screamed, Verzy don't miss. That guy's doing this. He's banging in the shower.

I don't like looking at comments, but when it just pings and it's like, hey, 10 out of 10 instant classic, I don't know how it's his best one, or this is his best one. So like all of that stuff and hearing that and people saying classic, even a hater was like,

birds is throwing on me. A hater goes- I hate this fucking guy, but comedy's comedy daddy-o. You know when I knew I was onto something, I knew reasonable, I knew I made the right decision with reasonable and I knew I was onto something when somebody goes, hilarious but like, is the sound all right?

Like they started looking for shit. And I was- Weird lighting choice. Should have worn a tie. What was the catering that night? These fucking guys want to know what's on the table, but I'm just listening. One day in, I'm thrilled with the comments. I'm glad people like it.

It's free. Please subscribe and just check out Reasonable Man. I will say this. My agent called me up and he said, I promise you this is your best work. I love it. You never know.

I know I'm a better comedian than I was two years ago, but you just do that and now the fact that people are just like, this is so fun, I'm watching again, I love it. This feels special, special. That made me feel good. That's great. I love it. One of the best, Paul. You know we love you.

You're welcome back any time, once a year, as long as it falls in that 12-month period. Luke, if you don't book me next week, we're done. You mentioned the green room. Do you have a specific, when you're on the road, do you like to have certain things in there? I used to open up for Mr. V, he likes something like quesadilla. Yeah, look at quesadilla beforehand. The quesadilla comes in, it's got be light cheese, and it's gotta be extra chicken.

Okay, I can't have the flat with the cheese. I mean, what am I, a 10 year old? Uh, but no, you know what? To answer the question, I need a water, and the one thing that I do want is a sugar-free Red Bull. Okay. Water and sugar-free Red Bull. I don't even need food.

Nothing. I mean, if I'm really- If there's a menu, I'll take a look. I mean, listen, I'm not, you know, if there's a menu, I'll take a look. I mean, listen, I'm not, you know, if there's a menu, I'll take a look. I'm not gonna say no to a bereave in pretzel. But like, I do the Italian thing. I like call the waitress over and whisper,

like, is there something worth it or not? Listen, if you were here, what would you get? Yeah, I'm like, listen, dude, if your son came in here, what does he get? You're doing that at a comedy club? Can I get something off the menu? What's the catch of the day here? You're in a fucking improv on that alone.

You hand her a ball of burrata. Did the halibut come in last night? Are these dry scallops? I don't want that wet shit. I want day boat. Yeah, I'm in a attic in Maryland. I'm like, how's the catfish? I don't think I've ever had catfish to be honest with you. I remember you would always see people fishing for it off bridges like where I grew up and I remember my dad being like, what are they doing?

Because they eat that shit. They come out with a gun in their hand. Fuck that. Dude, it's hard to eat something with whiskers, dude. Fucking handlebar mustache. I feel like you're eating somebody from Deadwood. Get out of here with that. Plus they hurt you, too. I know, they got a spike and they sting you. My dad always said you gotta watch a catfish. They slap you.

They give you a fucking backhand with their tail. It's like a big, I think what they, it's a big soul food thing, too. They fry them, they bread them and all that. Yeah, yeah. A little corn meal, I wouldn't say no to that. I'm a flounder man, to be honest with you. Soul food goes to another level. Like it starts normal.

It's like ribs and it's like mac and cheese. But then they do like, yeah, ox tail, like pig feet and shit. I can't. I want to try. Oxtail soup. Reggie was telling me about a Reggie conquest. He has a place that he goes to. I've been wanting to try it. I think I can do it. Put your mind to it. You can get there. I think I can do it Put your mind to it. You can get there big guy. I think you can visit Brooklyn one day. That's my promise for 2025 I'm gonna get that oxtail suit

You could do that in an hour Have it here in 35 minutes What's going on at the house these days it's the fall we decorated your Halloween I got that problem now What's going on at the house these days? It's the fall and we decorated for Halloween? You're raking wings? You're raking wings? I got that problem now. It ain't good. No, everything's good. The kids are back at school, but dude, I'm like, now they're ages, you know, Lucas 15, Sophia 12. I'm like Uber driver. And I love it, but it's like they're games and like they're good athletes. So there's practices.

It's a lot of shit. Dude, can I tell you something? I never never thought so my daughter is the soccer player they both play basketball My son's exceptional basketball my daughter great at basketball, but her game is soccer She just got into volleyball right and I don't do it. I'm not even joking dude I said girls are nuts dude if you haven't been to a fucking like rugby Every every point every point is either Devastation or you just won the Super Bowl. I looked at buddy. I looked at my buddy. I said I could do it I can't emotionally. I'm not joking. I can't emotionally do this

It's too much It's take a girl screaming crying then they all huddle up after thing when they when they're losing they're crying when they're winning They're hugging their slap each other back parents are going nuts the other day yesterday I yelled ball don't lie to the fucking guy standing on the guy standing on the thing because he because they when it hits the ceiling it doesn't count you know it could hit the ceiling and fucking fuck it up and it still doesn't matter and I'm like and I just got pissed off and I thought that they took a point from us and I was like ball don't lie all the parents just like yeah this is my little girl standing right there I'm

like come on so if you got like it's it's it and I said I don't need this the Yankees are playing. I can't do this. I can't have two playoff games. I'm going to go sit in the parking lot. I mean, God forbid there was a Nick game tonight. I fucking, my heart can't take this. I'm going to have a fucking heart attack at a six or six. The girls are six and eight between sixth and eighth grade. Yeah. And I thought I was at a Knicks playoff game. I was going nuts. Let me get two beers. She's yelling down to the guy. I'd love to see you in the gym on a Saturday afternoon. Oh dude. Clean Jordan's on, clean Jordan's.

Yeah. It's probably this, clean Jordan's, pair of sweatpants. Yeah, it's probably a hoodie, half on with a hat. You know, I like to go comfortable. Wait, what do you mean hoodie, half on? I just like the hoodie, half on. I like the hoodie. Oh, you put it up like that?

I like sometimes the back, yeah, it's almost like a little cushion. And then it's got to be clean sneakers. I walk in the gym, yeah, it's like almost like a little cushion and then it's got to be clean sneakers I walk in the gym parents know You got the sneakers are gonna be clean and just like comfortable, you know I don't want to be the only two times in all of my kids sports one time was so egregious I screamed I waited for Lucas got hit real hard. Mm-hmm, and and they didn't call it I'm like that I waited for it and like screaming that's terrible But the other parents of the other seemed like that was like it was a great So I've kind of been like I'm not that guy. I got you. I got a couple of those guys in my family

It's a tough look. Oh, there's a they've I gotta watch the soccer game at like behind the goal They like can't be with the other smoking heaters behind the fence come get a while coffee to Marble I know we have a couple guys that aren't allowed like on the premise on the property. That's crazy Yeah, these guys lost their minds. They scare kids and shit's not You call that defense you pussy no, that's why your mother's fat like Of course you're divorced no Of course you come from a broken home. Do you have any friction with any of the parents?

Has that ever happened? You know something? I'm not really like an in the community guy in all the. I'm on the outskirts. No, no, no. We didn't think you were handing out turkeys at Thanksgiving or anything. You're not at the soup kitchen.

No, but like I've become that guy. I've become a community guy with the dads and like, I love the group of dudes Like I'll have like a UFC fight and these guys come over no shit like five or six dads in the community Like everybody's actually cool. I live in a small community sure when I say like community guy I'm not like rallying up a softball. I'm not gonna fucking be a Flyers like yeah, like I'm not gonna be I didn't get your RSVP to the selling raffle tickets at a fair But that's a part of it as they have that shit going on

I assume I get hit up by my cut little cousins and nieces and nephews all the time They're always doing some they do the same. It's a text. They text you a link to like hey, this is yeah This is from Steve and he's these whatever whatever. I'm like, you gotta be shaking down some family members To your parents buddy. Listen to to me if I don't love you I don't give a fuck so the five cold as ice Oh, dude, can be brought up a good point though you have a you have a nice piece of property up there And you got a big backyard. Yes, do you have it? Do you have somebody that does that or you? Jordan's up there white Jordans green there look like a bozo. Yeah, I got like there's like six from Venezuela that do it six guys

What they do they would be they whip through the night like there's a weed whacker guy then there's the guy in the back Oh, they do all the houses they do yeah They pretty much like there's two companies that pretty much do and I like how they drive on the street like the tractor come Hit your place then drive three houses down in a I was on cruise like that. We do a whole neighborhood. Oh, dude, it's like a clown car. These guys fucking two guys run to one house. Another guy runs to another house. That was brutal.

I remember landscaping in North Carolina and we did this enormous neighborhood once a week. And it was like every Thursday. And you knew there wasn't going to be any truck time, like to drive from house to house. There was no chance of stopping. No chance in stopping and getting something to eat. Yeah, there's no chance. Just stop and no chance and stop and getting something Eat you were there all day and it sucked. Yeah

We had to make you these or something Jersey Mike's out here And give me a Jimmy John's or something we I'm dying whiz knows it I will tell you this that the Jimmy not not the Jimmy John's the Jersey Mike's turkey Mike's way What is it dude Luke he's in on it, dude Yeah, Jersey Mike's turkey and then when they go down the line with the vegetable guy Yeah, you know the guy with I've never been there you go Mike's way It's lettuce tomato onion salt pepper banana peppers or something. It's or whatever it is. It's fucking nuts to turn it in provolone

Yeah, I like it Yeah, it's turkey provolone one of their most popular saying but you gotta go Mike's way You gotta go Mike's way. You gotta go Mike's way when you order it I don't know if I ever had Jersey Mike. Oh, I never had it I think I had Jimmy John's once but never had Jersey Mike's I hear good things Jimmy John's guys a Quiznos guy for Listen gun to my head. Oh, dude, dude. This makes I mean homeless, homeless people. I mean, this Quiznos is for homeless people compared to this. I was homeless at the time. Quiznos, I never, it's fat.

Quiznos was bread. Yeah, as fat as I am, I've never been a hot hero guy, hot hoagie guy. Quiznos, that's what they did. They put it in that little thing, that little conveyor belt. It was a grinder. Yeah. Wait, what about, no meatball parm? No, meatball parm, but when people take a sandwich that theoretically should be cold ahead and they heat it up. Yeah, I hate that

We're gonna stop that this year The phones we can we can change the minds here. Yeah, fuck wisdom. I'm gonna be in a blimpies Remember blimpies in the city blimpie and quiz knows was too much. I remember always too much bread Yeah, we're Jersey Mike you get the good ratio. I would even say more me Yeah Hey you're nice young Italian years old hey you're nice young Italian kid up there. Fucking Danny. Call him Danny. That is so funny. Call him Danny DeVito an Italian kid. No but I'm saying like it's I trust it more than if it was like Jeremy Renner. If it was Jeremy Renner I'd be like alright like you know. You're just in it for the big guy. Is it you Jeremy Renner? Yeah. I don't know if I trust it as much just because the kids. I agree with you. You understand what I'm saying right? He's not a guy who can push sandwiches. Danny DeVito can move some units.

Yeah, Colin Farrell, I'd be like, this probably, you know, the guy's grew up on potatoes. I can't fuck it. Danny DeVito, you know, he grew up in a household with Sunday Suppers. Sure. I'm not buying a sandwich from Austin Butler.

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strolling on the web in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. So you can upgrade your business and get the same checkout. Sign up for one dollar per month trial period at Shopify.com slash garbage all lowercase go to Shopify.com slash garbage to upgrade your selling today one more time Shopify.com slash garbage do it. You got the house decorator for Halloween you ready for this? My wife is yeah my wife goes seasons she's got the whole thing. And you.

What's the candy situation on a trick-or-treat night? Is it a big night out there or do you get a lot of kids a lot of kids dark because we're the country so that it's it's not huge Mm-hmm. I mean dude when you go you need like flashlights parents are there with like car lights. Yeah, it's dark There's no street lights where I live so we don't get much. He's up on a mountain. Oh, yeah up there And I got all the floodlights off. I like giving candy So so Yannis pop is dear friend of mine. You guys know, you guys love Yannis. Yannis lives in my neighborhood, he's got a little girl.

And I'm the godfather of the other little girl. And we don't get a lot of people, but my wife is one of those just in case. Gotta have 15 bags just in case. My wife's got enough candy for 14 years, and we give it to five kids. So I told Yannis' daughter, I go, you come to my house, watch what happens.

I'm gonna give her, listen to me, she's gonna never forget it the rest of her life she's gonna get maybe 14 pounds of candy she doesn't have to go to another house your dad drives she doesn't have to go to another house you give her four grand in cash that's for you that's for you put that under your pillow yeah the one thing that has not changed in my life is you ask how the family is is the you know that she has to she watches my spending a little bit. Stacey still. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just, it's- Well, I mean, rightfully so. Someone's gotta control that out. I like how you said that. You sounded like you were in an AA meeting. What was the last thing? You guys know me, what's up, I'm Paul V, I'm here. Now, what was-

What you know is you've met Stacey. She watches my spending. She's the sweetest, nicest woman, but she's gotta, she runs the household. She, yeah, like I- She's, like she can nicest woman, but she's got a, she runs the household. She, yeah, like I- She's, like she can, she keeps things in line. We're gonna go to Germany next month, and I'm like, yeah, just first class for all four of us.

There's not a question. And she's like, that's 20 grand. What are we gonna do? What am I, sitting in a back with the scrubs? I mean, what am I, we're going to Germany with my family. So, but I've always been like, I was in the supermarket the other day and I felt... First class.

First class ticket to the supermarket. I go, where's the VIP line? Okay, what's... You driving a Corvette through the aisles? What's gonna get this life cereal through this thing quicker? No, I... Is that what you're getting?

It's my favorite cereal. Really? Life cereal with sliced bananas is... Cinnamon or the regular? No, no, no cinnamon. You got a little... new money. It's lightly. It's like banging life, but I go like this I go like this I go I walk in and I felt so bad for this lady because I bring my thing and she I had like I bought some white claws or high noon's or whatever the sell hard seltzer's and she goes Oh, you know that they're ten cents now for the deposits

This woman said that to me the And I wanted to just say- You stupid bitch. I swear to God. Look at him fucking slap her one. I wanted to say like, how much do you, let me get you out of here. Let me get you, what's it gonna take for you? Sweetheart, sweetheart.

You chug one in line and throw it out. I swear on my, part of me thought, what if her yearly salary there was 30? I would think about it. I just want to get her out. I can't believe she said that. It was like a rescue, there was 30, I would think about it. I just want to get her out. I can't believe she said that. It was like a rescue thought. I was like, when she said that, I go, yeah, what?

Like, I know I feel bad, because people talking like that. Yeah, but we're different. We're dirtbags. We take that as an insult. Some people just think like that. You know, like I can throw my cans out, right? And I don't say it disrespectfully.

No, of course, yeah, yeah. I'm not saying it like, oh, I'm better. Cause listen, I'm not super rich or anything like that. But like when you're talking about five cents, I wanna help you. Yeah, no, some people just wired that way to think that way. I don't wanna be disrespectful, but I was thinking like if I handed her a 20,

would she be, you know. Here, that's what she thought of you. It's like, you can redeem these Who am I I got like a beard and a fucking hoodie. She's probably like, you know, you we have the machine here There's a coin star machine behind it Lord knows you're gonna drink them in the parking lot Things are going that bad, huh? Oh man, what's it gonna do? Let's get you out of here. Is the life cereal just dads or can the kids have some of that? Is there anything that's just yours?

Well the kids got the kids, the kids are, they don't really eat cereal too much but like they'll eat Kicks. Kicks? Yeah. Kid tested mother approved. What? Yeah, Kicks. Wow, that's old school. I kinda, they don't. What are they 38? That's crazy. The kids are eating Kicks.

Kicks or like my wife gets like certain Cheerios. Okay. Like a chocolate one, you know. Yeah. And I don't eat that so, but the other day I was hungry and I had a bowl of life with bananas. And I was like, man, this is taking the hunger out. It's all right.

Taking the hunger out. And I haven't really eaten cereal in a long time. Taking the hunger out. Yeah, cause if it's not, I'm looking for, you know. I'm just, yeah. Blood in the water dog. I'm right there with you. Dude, if there's a hunk of Reggiano in the bro in the drawer

I just did that yesterday so I was I crushed a whole wedge of cheese and crackers by myself at like 2 p.m Oh, did you ever eat not even cracker time? You ever eat a hunk of Reggiano like it's a sandwich. I just started eating parmesan like that I didn't really know you could do that like sliced cheese. Yeah, like first of all We always got it growing up in the shaker the red shaker the green shaker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then when we started Yeah, that's not great. No, dude. My to me talk to a bunch of Irish assholes. That was I might as well That was the height of fucking Italian cuisine a little shaky cheese man When you're jammed up trying to put that on a sandwich and make it work that's

Not Mike's way Bozo way the ham and Parmesan sandwich that's great Wheat bread I hate to say this crap the bottoms of bagel craft is garbage Crafted You know it's not good because you can put it in the fridge or leave it out They don't give a shit. Yeah, whatever you want and the expiration is like 2029 You're good. That's up. I like the cleaning shit. It's right next to the fabuloso That's why the top is green to camouflage the mold yeah

That's why the top is green to camouflage the mold. Yeah, that's it. I don't know they have that in that multiple aisles That's just in those tubes hanging that you pull it out even on a shelf They got it at the checkout as an impulse buy next to the gum. What are we doing? When I come on this show I actually get tired This is one of the only shows we're like I'm gonna be on the way home tonight. I need a nap dude My head hurts But we didn't start getting the actual Parmesan cheese up until recently and then you know if like a brick of it Yes, and if she makes spaghetti or something like that We got the grater and we'll do it nice nice And then I think like one night randomly a couple years ago

I was like I could just fucking cut a piece of this shit off and eat it. Yeah, and it's alright Yeah, you guys have ever have cavatelli with just a butter and the cheese cavatelli the pasta the pasta. Yeah, so you just think so Yeah, so you boil boil it the cavatelli and a little al dente and then you just throw in a little it's gotta be You can't be soft. It's gotta have a little hard little bite to it And then I like a mushy. No. Yeah. You mush your mouth.

Are you kidding me? I don't care. It's weird when there's a little bit of a bite to it to me. I feel like I'm eating it. Hey, buddy, this thing's undercooked. That's nuts. No, I'm not saying it's actually a science. No, I get it.

It's like I just grew up that my mom would put them in the pot. My mom would just cook it. If it was 20 minutes. You had to run out the She came back. There was no like put it in for eight minutes. My mom has killed tortellini's in front of me, dude No, and I was a little kid my grandmother I had it my grandmother would make me test it My wife makes me test it. I kind of got it down Yeah, but you throw a little butter and you just shave the grated cheese on the cavatelli and that's it No sauce just a butter shave the grated cheese on the cavatelium and that's it. No sauce.

Just the butter and the grated cheese with that, it's probably as good as anything, man. It's incredible. You know what else I recently learned too? They're using a little bit of the pasta water in this sauce. Oh yeah, that's big. We don't know about that shit. That's a big one. Like al dente, yeah, my mom didn't do that.

And then maybe like somewhere after 9-11, she caught on to it when the Sopranos was on He always compares everything to 9-eleven After 9-eleven we started getting good No, but then she started trying to turn this win. You know what I mean? She started trying to do it and I remember those first couple runs. It was like, yeah, I'm gonna crack a molar here, honey What are you doing? No that that I don't like but it's the same thing cuz I like my eggs My eggs have to be over medium I always ask for over medium you know.

Okay. Do you get them a lot of fill you just get what you get sometimes. Dude it's a it's I remember somebody said someone's like who was it it was like you got to care like it's an extra 30 seconds but it's I would say two out of ten times it's perfect. So over medium is you cut it in the middle and it's a slow ooze but it's definitely coming out and it always comes out like they got its brains blown out running I don't like running dude I don't like running you don't like it I love it over

easy I don't like any kind of clear liquid on it's got a little bit of brain in there when you just explodes like no I can't look like a sperm test so you don't do an eggs Benedict a poached egg I know I like a poached egg, but a poached egg if it's done right is kind of meat Yeah, no it is because when you eat a Benedict it doesn't explode. No. He's right. I saw my wife She made poach. I've never seen anybody poach an egg and she did that when she moved in together I was like who the fuck I didn't even know what poached eggs are I got you're not gonna go up real boy You know Germans do different shit. You're not gonna put that shit in a pan with a little bit of butter Scramby that up putting vinegar in there this broads fucking boiling an egg in water

Fuck It's I'm slowly realizing how Especially when it comes to the culinary arts, how uncultured I am. It's pretty brutal. And people don't realize, like they think it's eggs, but there are certain, like you ever go somewhere and get like really good scrambled eggs? And then you get somebody else's and you're like, this is, it's, there's a way to cook it right. I like them burnt. Like I do.

You like eggs burnt? It smells like hair. I don't care. Can you give me a little tech, give me a burnt omelet at a New York City diner. I need fluff in my eggs. Scrambies gotta be fluff. Man, that can only be said on this show. I always say soft now. If I get an omelet, I say cook it soft.

I like it a little runny. Really? Yeah, I can't do the burnt. That reminds me when I was working, doing laser hair removal. Wait, what? I For a while I was a driver for a laser hair removal service Oh imagine getting your fucking job just said that was the weirdest segue from eggs No, and we would go into the offices and they would laser people's hair all day that I'd have to take the machine

Oh, it's and you'd walk in there and it's like fucking they just put somebody in the incinerator It was fucking brutal and that's what burnt eggs smell like to me. I hate that smell drives me nuts You like burnt eggs? Color on them, you know what I mean? He spins like he was a doctor he used to drive a fucking Lincoln town car from fucking Fucking housewife to house. There's a conversion van Captain's hand out the brochure when you dropped them Yeah, you got any friends tell him to call us

We would do plastic surgeons office in Long Island And I would drop the girl off and then I would just sit in the parking lot for eight hours I'd get like a $40 breakfast from Burger King and I listen to Howard Stern You are jammed up if you're doing Burger King breakfast Talk about fluffy eggs that's you're a bad shape if you're doing Burger King really mr. Verzi way in here no dice What about the French toast sticks? What am I an asshole? What do? What are you, 11? Who's the worst Toast Sticks? It's healthier than the... They just did the list of the worst. Really? Yeah, yeah. Wendy's number one worst for you health-wise.

The breakfast specifically? Probably any of them are good for you. None of them are good for you, but like a couple are just bad. Look, see if you can get that list. Is that breakfast or is that all food? No, no. It says like all the fast foods, they did the worst ones for you. And what was not on the top five list was Burger King It's probably because the flame broiled the flame broiled meat. There you go, you know, but We're talking

Listen if I'm hammered you think I give a fuck flame broiled Make sure that's a flame broil. This is the fucking lotion they put on it. it. Yeah, you think I'm a fat hammered at a Vegas airport? I'm gonna be like, nah. That's one thing we've never, I didn't mean to cut you off, that's one thing we've never done and I'm all, as fat as I am, I am always amazed when I'm in an airport and I see the line for a McDonald's and it's fucking down the block.

I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Well, what I didn't realize about McDonald's is there's people that have to have their diet coke their cult Sure, it's significantly better like their diet coke and coke are considered because of the way Yeah, the way it's delivered there was did you see a woman did a steel did a blind taste test and she was like That's coke from a can. Oh, I got coke from a bottle. Yeah, that's she knew all and she was like that's's coke from a can. That's coke from a bottle. She knew all of it and she was like, that's a fountain from this. How fat was this lady? She looked good.

She looked good? Really? No, she looked, yeah, she smelled it. I'm getting hints of barbecue sauce here. Now I'm with you on that, I got it. And people, there are people that love the hot McDonald's coffee. I get that. Coffee makes people wait online.

That's the one thing, like coffee is something that I don't think people compromise. I like a nice Star Beezers, it's the same thing every time, you know what you're getting, it's the right temp, you can get it and go. Same thing with D&D. Yeah, hey, I don't, I gotta do a Dark Rose from Dunkies. I went from Starbucks to D&D. Really? I know, yeah, I don't I got you a dark rose from donkey. I went from I went from Starbucks to D&D

Really? No. Yeah, I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened I just felt like the Starbucks where I was getting jittery if I had two of them because they're so strong sure so you know I just get a you know I just get a you know what I discovered for the first time in my life two things hit me change my life Two things you ready for the hash browns of Dunkin Donuts things that happened it happened Maybe not even a year ago. It happened. I had locks with a bagel. I don't do that. Dude. Dude. I had fucking locks I don't do that. I'm a good Christian boy. I had touching that shit You're not when I thought you know when I heard you know that was like a Jewish cuisine and and it was all this

I'm like, what is that and there's fish your grandmother's rolling over to great It's a fucking home Your grandmother's rolling over in a grate right now. It's a fucking home run. Dude, fucking capers? Capers, a little red onion. And capers, red onion, and like the Philadelphia cream cheese. I had it. And at first, it was almost like when I discovered sushi.

You're confused at first. But then when it clicks in, you can't believe how your life changed. It clicked in and it changed my life. That and sweet cream. You ever have sweet cream on the iced coffee no so we just get yeah so it's just called sweet creams different than whipped cream or it's weird it's like a very sweet where you getting that you did a D&D and they just put it and then

it just falls into the iced coffee dude it's like the milk and the sweetener at the same time it's fucking unbelievable those two things if you gave me one of those and I mean that, it's unbelievable. So you're set. Wait, you're not getting a smoked salmon bagel with Dunkin' Donuts, are you? No, no, no, no, I'm saying if I got that coffee and then I went to like the Esso bagel, the classic one.

Yeah, dude. How are you doing it there, Esso bagel? But it's gotta be, listen, it's gotta be good fish, gotta be fresh, but dude. No catfish. When it melts in your fucking Let me get catfish with capers on a fucking on and everything Canal catfish

Some by the highway And I'm and I'm big on Indian now big love Indian dude butter chicken what? Fucking what dude? I got I got one for you if you like butter chicken try chicken Mcconnay like Matthew Mcconnay chicken Mcconnay. Really? Yeah it's a little it's a little variation of the butter chicken. It's fucking home run. You know what I used to do was the vindaloo. It's like the whitish shit give me the butter chicken. I'm right there and a garlic naan. An IPA and call it a day. Garlic naan with I first had that.

Garlic naan with butter chicken, a little, but I had the vindaloo, you ever have the vindaloo? And whatever spices they give you? Dude, I had vindaloo, it looked like I jumped out of a pool. Dude, I was sweating. Listen to me, I'm not joking around. My kids, my daughter goes, look at dad's head. It looked like I was Patrick Ewing in the playoffs.

Remember when he used to drip off his nose at the foul line? Sure. I was like, I'm sorry. I had to apologize to the people I was eating with. I looked, I was sweating, the vindaloo sauce is so, and I got acid reflux too. So this is like, no dude, you need a prescription to eat the fucking thing.

It was, but the, not the, the lamb vindaloo and the chicken vindaloo, if you can get through it, you have to like pace yourself You got to dip the naan you got to eat the rice with it. It's but it's like a work I know my stomach is growling Not knowing about the naan bread I feel like is a crime like my parents kept us we never had any of that stuff No, my mom still I don't think has ever had Indian food and that is like She's never even had I think my mom too. Non-bread was a game changer. I think it's safe to say my mom.

My mother and father probably never actually I know for a fact my mother and father have never had sushi or Indian. Oh a hundred percent. What about Chinese? Will they do Chinese? Yeah yeah I mean anybody's talking. A little bit of walk-and-roll maybe if we're at the mall and we're jammed up Christmas shopping. If you got a pulse in this country, you had beef and broccoli. We took my mom to Korean barbecue this summer, and man. She was waving an American flag. Shit, dude.

Holy shit, her face. I got verzy. Oh, shit. I'll never forget the past I'm sorry, dude Don't be silly She was just like It's fucking so good. My wife is a sucker for an egg roll, dude

My wife will just go you know what you get it. Just just get me a do an egg roll She's just one of those you know egg roll not for me. Are you really? What right there with you? It's like Chinese coleslaw in the middle of it. He's not damn it right Erzy dude, it's Chinese precise. It's hot Chinese coleslaw He went like two bits of like beef and now whatever is pork right now. I love them. I think everything I got a dowsing in that hot mustard. That's the best I remember when my buddy I never ate them right now my buddy showed me to take a drag of the mustard and a drag Of the duck sauce down the debt down the row of it crush it like that my math tutor was as broad who was like

about 450 Rolls she would place the order at the beginning of the hour fatter husband would come in they would fatter than 450 He put two bags a big couple wait would they take a dinner break while you were in there? She would eat while I never fuck her again. She would she would get like a soup a dish Chinese I was crazy to the one time she spit a carrot on to my fucking on to my math test. I was like Oh, and she would hold it in her hand kind of like it kind of like a heater You know what I mean? She work in the room

Carried a six dummy I can't I can't have them after watching her eat them every week for a year. I think that's rough Can't what do you know about Helix? Slept in one last night daddy. Oh, yes, sir gang We love helix over here at are you garbage you go online you take the quiz to find that I you sleep They want to know you sleep. Do you sleep light? Do you sleep hot? Do you sleep cold? Do you sleep fat? Do you sleep skinny and they match up with the perfect mattress for you? He's got one. I got one Everybody's got a Helix. It's great.

It was one of the best. It was one of the first adult purchases I've ever made, where you're like, oh, I've been doing this wrong the whole time. This is actual a proper good night comfy, wonky sleeping. You know what I mean? I took the test. I got the Twilight model. Bada bing, bada boom.

We got the queen. We loved it so much, we upgraded it to the king. Look at you. I got the king-sized Adio King for a queen. I got the king model, bada bing, bada boom. We got the queen. We loved it so much. We upgraded it to the king. Look at you. I got the king-sized Adio King for a queen. I got the king off the rip. Ooh, because you're... Sent me one. Yeah, smart guy.

Uh... This is the October offer. They have 20% off all mattress orders when you go to HelixSleep.com slash garbage. Uh, that's HelixSleep.com slash garbage for 20% off all your mattress orders. Do it. Gang, today's episode is brought to you by Acorns.

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Do you guys when you do your meatballs? Do you put them in the do you saute them first and get a little brown on them? Or do you put them right in there? My wife, unfortunately, my wife, unfortunately. Makes them Swedish style. No, she, no. I would have gotten a divorce there. Yeah, yeah, no, she only goes brown beef.

She doesn't do the three meats. So it's hard, but they're delicious. She actually makes them exactly how I like them, but she doesn't put the veal and the pork in there. So, and it's really good, but my grandmother from Sicily, rest her soul, she made a meatball that I remember to taste at this moment and you could cry, you'd cry.

You'd cry, you'd bite it and you couldn't believe that something like that existed. I'm with you. It was, her meatballs, she let them sit in the thing for a long time, she'd cook it and then let the sauce cook it through. I mean, you just cut through it, dude. I'm starving, dude.

I did a 72-fucking-water fast. I did a 72-hour water fast because I saw this fucking Dana White clip. And- That's a problem, a TikTok clip about health. You'll go, I'm turning, you watched 18 seconds ago. I'm turning all around. This guy showed his stomach ripped and I go, I'm doing it.

And my wife goes, you can't, I did it. I started taking Gary Brekker pills. Yeah, we's a Gary Brekka. Well, this was a guy I did a Gary Brekka water. He's got us all bonked and we're all fucking bought and sold taking these garlic pills or whatever They are 72 hours all I had was this and then you put a little bit of you put like a little bit of salsa No, and dude, it was, and people were like, you're gonna feel like a superhero. There were bouts of that, but it was really tough. I would hit somebody.

I'd have to do it on my own in a hotel room, cause me and my wife would get into it. Oh dude, I got dizzy. And then I, I mean, I was dizzy. I'm falling, dude, I'd be me two hours in. I can't feel my legs. I slept like a baby, just cause I had nothing, so as soon as my body went down, it was dizzy. I'm falling. Dude, I'd be me two hours in. I can't feel my legs. I slept like a baby just because I had nothing. So as soon as my body went down, it was really tough.

There were bouts where, but my senses got better. And that's true. Somebody goes, wait till you fucking. You started doing karate out of nowhere? Someone's gonna be at the door. Ah! I became a ninja. I was upside down on the ceiling.

No. Catching bees in your hand? No, my buddy my buddy goes he goes you're gonna smell things sharper Yes, but what happens my eyes got I'm not joking my eyes where I was like seeing in like HD It was nuts because all the inflammation your body's gone all the bad cells are gone. I mean you're starving Starving and irritable you know and then like you could have bone broth like one day, but it's gotta be the most purest. It was all liquid. My wife does that shit.

When I tell you I had no, I didn't fart or shit for four days, nothing. No gas came out of me, nothing else, cause I was cleaned out, so I'm pissing clear, but I will tell you this, just shrunk. Stomach, flat, everything just went down. 72 hours. Seventy-two hours and all the bad cells, apparently the cancer, as soon as I heard like, you know,

cancer and dementia go away, I go, I'm doing it. I told my wife seven days and she goes, there's no way you're going to do this. But I did this, I wasn't going to do this seven because they said like, unless you have like professionals in your life that you could like, you need like guidance through seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kevin James said on Rogan, he did it for 41 days. That's crazy. Yeah, and he did it for 41 days He just lived on water for 41 days and and electrolytes and stuff like that like bone broth And I think you lose like 50 sit

But then but then the thing is it comes back cuz you're because this is what they say your weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise So it's like if you don't eat you're gonna lose if you don't eat your body eats itself really Foley could fast for 14 years be funny I just come here Foley's like fucking 119 pounds he's like I'm star having it I haven't eaten in six years haven't eaten since that podcast I feel great Gary I can see through walls right now I got x-ray vision I'm fucking Superman there's a train coming everybody look that see you through the jacket how balls growing on your

shoulder you become a dog you can smell cancer you got bed bugs too by the way sniffing bombs somebody's got fertilizer dust on them. I don't know what you're folding down the airport smell it shoes All right, let's do a couple of you yeah, mr. Versey let's get into a couple of cues here, baby. This is great It's like old times in it this That conversation got it's like real times, isn't it? Conversation got it's like real times, isn't it? Uh This is just a statement this which is nuts. This is from Misty long hair My new girl has no organizer in her silver word silverware drawer. It's just pure chaos

You gotta run. That's dude. That that's bad Don't shut all the way to or don't open do Do you guys organize it when you put it in the dishwasher? Like do you put the forks with the forks in the spoon? The spoons took me to everything. There's one for everything we have. We have individual things. Then we have the top one. Now there's the new we got a new dishwasher.

So you got the two racks and then top rack for like the knives or whatever. They hit in top at that's flat for like the certain silverware that you could put upside down. Yeah I lost I lost I live in a restaurant. It's really most even yeah, most of them have no one's have them now Huh, I couldn't find my knife for about three weeks. I didn't know we had that John at the top and I'm I'm using a butter knife to cut a steak feeling like a jerk off. Oh the first time I saw somebody used a broiler I was like, that's what that's for? I thought that was for the store pants.

I didn't know that was a real thing. Yeah, we store pants there. I didn't know it turned on. I thought it was just a drawer. I don't know how that doesn't burn down the house. It's fucking a foot from the floor. You can see the wall behind it. You're like, this thing looks like Quiznos.

You're running through that thing. Don't let them match. That thing is heavy. That's dude. That's mice heaven dude down there. They're all Cozy by the pilot like they're nesting in there. He's talking about burnt hair fucking making s'mores We never fucked with the roiler This one's some slippery dairy you's ever dried off from a pool with paper towels? Yes. Yeah, sweat I've done, not.

Sweat you gotta do. I've gotten out of the shower with paper towels. That's a nice, you get a nice good dry sometimes. You get a nice good dry with like a bounty? What if it's gotta be, it can't be that seventh generation. No. That shit stinks. It's like newspaper.

No, I've never done that. You're jammed up. I've used paper towels, I've used a shirt before Your shirt get out of a pool you like we're to Kleenex They ever do that you ever have to dry your hands off with toilet paper. That's a fuck Yeah, dingleberries on your fingers Fucking don't think it's hard to wait the way it sticks on your it's horrible dude And you like keep pulling it and just stuck and then the rolls getting wet that's fucking bad

Yeah, that's right. You are a little jammed up If you're going at once the last time either you guys had a clean shave where you nicked yourself and you and you did a Piece of toilet paper that's still a thing the guys still do that I think they make the those like that all sticks and she's a dick stick or something Oh, yeah certain things you could just rub on that that do it. Yeah, like quarter eyes I remember my dad coming down a couple of mornings fucking they were everywhere just gushing blood Look like somebody just use spitballs all over your face Jump through a glass window?

You're not gonna close that cell big dog. You gotta wipe that shit off your face. He's fuckin' coming down like Chuck Norris dude. Dude I must have been 16. I was at my mom's, I shaved and I sneezed and I sliced all across the tie. I was a Mach 5 too, remember that John?

Wow those things were deadly Here in a c130 Those things were dangerous they gave them the al-qaeda those things were fucking bad news Yeah, and I tried to toilet and it was just still look it was bad So I caught my dad. I don't know I guess I wasn't talking to my dad or whatever at the time I called my buddy's dad. I go. I don't know what to do. He goes come over Bleeding out from Gillette I Felt like the old guy. I need to tell you over the phone. Oh, he goes. I have that stick Oh, he goes I go paper tally and work. I was I was on the t-shirts and stuff

From your nose I Felt like that old dude in Sopranos that after he killed his nephew or whatever The guy that had the heart attack after he burnt young. Yeah, Bert young. Oh, I'm wheezing That's all right. Yeah that Mach 5 man. That was remember that I'm grateful for the mock five because that made me realize I'm never fucking shaving like that the first that would take the top of your lip all the first one like 19 blades blades they were like $75 a clip and they had that thin layer of gel that was like alcohol yes yes and your face I remember when the hair grew back in it would hurt and it

Because it was cut because what do you think that pitch was like guys want to throw another blade in there? I go five guys listen. I got an idea. They were killing it every dude Dude three was great fire. He was great. The quattro was four and then mock five dude. I that was shit though I didn't fuck with shit quattro now that was that shit. Yeah, I'm sure I'll have to mark five watch row. I remember silver with the arm already Yeah, and that had the bend on it, too. I think I didn't fuck with that. That's a land to lady razor I never got that the circle razory like the dry John. Oh the thing from the 80s. Yeah. Oh my god What is that like the like then their own the thing from the 80s? Yeah. Oh my God. What is that? Like the like the old

Norelco. The Norelco Johns. Oh, oh, I have that now. You do a trim. I go a newton. I have a no, but I'll use it in a relco for all over the head and the and down here if I need the Norelco three ones. But that works. Yeah. Oh yeah. It works good on the head. It takes 10 days to get it to get it like your skin to acclimate it to it. Ah, what do you mean? It takes 10 days. So like when you start it, like your skin to acclimate it to it. Ah. What do you mean it takes 10 days? So like when you start using a Norelco, like if you shave your face clean,

and stubble starts coming in and you start with a Norelco, it's gonna take a little while for you to get used to it, but then once your face gets, then it's baby's ass, baby. Damn. Yeah, I don't like that getting used to it. Yeah, Foley's just straight edge. No, I can't, I'll never, I'll never clean shave again, I don't think. Okay.

That's how much I hate it. It's a bad look. Oh, yeah. It's a bad look for everybody and nobody's got jawlines anymore. I look horrible. Yeah. I just don't like the way it feels and the shit would slice up. You've got to just straight fucking JD Vance in it.

It's a five o'clock shadow. JD likes the little round. All right, let's see here. This is from Coinstar Homie. Have you ever asked a pizza guy to bring you anything other than pizza? Like hey, can you stop and grab me a pack of smokes on the way or whatever? Hey man, you play ball? Can you run by and pick me up an 8 real real quick? Here's the deal, if you're drunk I kinda get that

I don't know if it's that garbage if you're drunk and here's what you do You go buddy I'll throw you another 50 You go and pick me up Taco Bell and a pack of sticks Throwing a Taco Bell now? Grab the dry cleaning? Grab me Burger King Listen, you throw me, you get me some food

And maybe a pack of sticks I'm sure they play ball last Grab me Burger King. Listen, you throw me, you get me some food and maybe a pack of sticks. I'm sure they play ball with that. And I'm gonna throw you 50? That's not garbage. No, it's class. Well, do you guys get pizza delivered to the house? Yeah.

Or do you go pick it up? It depends, but they're pretty much everywhere. Are you calling? Are you still calling? My wife doesn't call, I call. You call? I like to call. So you're not doing,

because you can't do that shit on your own. You gotta get it right. I need to talk to a man that says yes, I respect stands what I'm doing It's the whole good thing about the burbs my wife is my wife is she's all about the online I'm kind of I'm both ways. I'm not putting things in the notes. I don't like to put the extras in the nose Hey, oh, he's fucking ever. Is that this cuz they never see they don't care and they probably get mad They're looking his pain in the ass. Oh, I remember those talk to a man He knows yeah when those seamless things would come through with the restaurants. I worked out. I'd be like fuck you Yeah sauce on the side

Don't bet on and I'm sure there's people that are real specific with it. Yeah Yeah, I like calling calling tonight something about calling on a Friday night to get the pizza delivered for Friday night pizza And when you call they have the number there, it's done. They know where you're at. Yeah. You don't have to give the address. That's nice. That's a good point. They go, oh, so you're at 20th Salsa, yes, yeah.

How's everything going, good to see you. Outta kids. Outta Venezuela. No, no, this guy's Asian. He doesn't know how to speak English, but he knows my address. What's your order? And then I just tell him, he's not like, how are the kids?

He wants to get it done, but here's the thing, he's efficient. No messing around. He's no messing around, he knows. Times money, Verzi, what do you need? He knows a Sushi Deluxe is coming. That's all right. All right, let's see here.

This one's from Kippy's little stinger, shout out to it. First time, long time, $10 investor. Is it garbage to wear a hat from a car brand you don't own? Example, wearing a Maserati hat when you drive an F-150. I'd say the only time it's okay is if you're golfing. Classy.

If you're golfing, you can wear any hat. Cause you kinda need a hat and you kinda, so if somebody's like, hey, here's a Ford hat, you know, or here's a Jaguar hat, that's the only time, but you can't rock a, you can't it out to the store to go pick up sushi with that no you got a fucking you got to rock your f-150 when you can't rock a Ferrari had a chick fillet if you got a fuck pain with a coupon they'll see right through you got a Mercury Mariner in the back I remember when sorry Joe Barton it keeps got a

mercury matter when marquee jets are I think it was marquee jets Or net jet was banging back in the day. Okay, everything said Mark Wait, wasn't it both of them though weren't they both like are they come they were like big competitors the same time I think so. I think it was marquee jets, but my sister-in-law was doing something She was working for some charity from a football players charity and somehow She was working for some charity from a football players charity and somehow She they got a marquee jet hat and as soon as I saw that I was rocking that like oh My brother was like who the fuck are you like you're a busboy. What are you doing?

My key I'm walking around with a bus the tables at Applebee's you got not even a waiter It's got back from ugly. I'm walking around like Seinfeld. Hey the blazer Sneakers on yeah, you guys get you guys get the private jet money yet. What how are you nuts? Dude, that's that's gonna happen. I mean do we all got to do it. I'll try it before I even got the money We're depositing these bottles after the show these bottles after the show. What are you talking about? Ten cents, baby. There it is. There it is. Take him to Michigan. Get 15. How you doing? You go champagne? You go first class or no? What?

You get him a Moser? You get him a first class or no? No, we're always going to work. I can't have like, I don't like champagne. We're not on our honeymoon. We're kissing. Noodling. He totally surprised me I'm telling the flight and I got all the flight attendance up down on the love story Oh, but I get a little police holding a prosecco with two fingers

It looks like Andre the giant old in the beer can I Get a little chippy I haven't drank that much on it off the sauce a good amount. Yeah, okay I haven't drank that much. He's been off the sauce for a good amount. Yeah. Oh, okay. I haven't drank that much on planes lately. What, was it a problem or no? He would do, he'd be, I'm not even fucking around. He'd get into, he'd get into Bloody Marys before he get on the plane. And that's where the problem lied.

It's about, he was doing about 18 bloodies. No, I swear. They bust your balls. I don't know what fucking rule they have. No, no, no, no, hold on a second, dude. Hold on a second. It was in the teens. It's a well-documented number. It's in the teens. I forget what it was. What are you? Are you fucking 15 16 bloodies on a flight to like Tampa like it like a 90-minute flight?

I mean, no not a 90 minute flight. We went to Disney some of them doubles. So he was doing doubles That's like I was like four hours That's still too many heads. No, we Hours, and I had 20 I had 20 white claws last weekend when we went to the game, but it was all day. It was like, we woke up in the morning, you know, bloody. That hangover is brutal though. You get the bloody, oh my God.

Dude, a white call hangover is like smoking meth for the weekend. That shit's bad. I'm all liquor's no good. You throw down 30, but you go all bloodies the whole way? I'm a bloody guy. Yeah. Dude, after two, aren't you sick?

No. I love it. He's just getting into third gear at that time. You go spicy or real spicy or? I'm a bloody guy. Yeah, dude after two. Aren't you sick? No He's just getting into third gear You go spicy or real spicy or they had they just have the mr. T's or mrs. T's can so I ask her out This would just usually what I would do. I'd say listen. Oh my god. I love you. I'd say listen Oh god, what I want to do a fat alcoholic Keep these coming. I'd say let me get a a cup with ice, and another cup with ice. Let me get two little bottles, and a whole can of the tomato juice.

I don't mean to cut you off. When your first thing you say is I need two cups of ice, when that's how it starts, she's like, oh boy, buckle the fuck up this guy. You guys got a cooler back there? This is what I'm gonna do for you. Pay attention, I'm always gonna say it once. Just bring the igloo up here.

Yeah, I like to make it myself. I don't like when I don't like when they bring it over there. So, so what you saw? I'm sorry. So with the ice, you make it yourself. You basically prepare it yourself. Yeah. Okay. I like to control the ice. Okay. I'm big with ice, too. Yeah. Ice is a ice is a huge part of it. The other day we we were out We were getting something to eat and I was like me a diet coke because I wasn't drinking this guy goes He pulls out a screaming cold can a diet coke and I'm like frost it So I'm thinking he's gonna walk over with the pine class full of ice and a lemon and set the can of coke down And I'm gonna do to cuz I'll do like gonna govern it I'll do three quarters crush that and then finish it. I'll do three quarters, crush that, and then finish it off.

That's how I do it. This guy goes over, and it was like, it was like finding out Santa Claus was dead. He goes into the ice, there's like four cubes in there, and then he pours the whole can in there and brings it over. No, no. That's always bad when the ice melts

and it doesn't even touch anymore at the top. It's just like four guys floating. There's not enough, I need ice three quarters icequarters ice three ice to the fucking brim love it And then you just keep and then you just keep going those animals that order no ice I get a diet coke Cuz you're getting more ice. That's yeah, and everybody what are we pilgrims here? That's the thing now They don't you go to the movies those are disgusting human beings No, those are disgusting because because you're two things. You're cheap and you'll take a bad taste. You're an animal.

Yeah. You go to the movies. Yeah, you got to be a man of some sort of quality, you know what I mean? They don't give you any ice at the movies because they've had their balls broken so much. Instead, you're putting too much ice. It's all ice. I'm fucking Philip to the top and I tell you what, give me another cup of ice and a

Bloody Mary. This guy's going into a joker. Why are we doing our initial descent? They're like, sir, this is an AMC. But what I was saying on the- You show up with your own celery? He's got a jar of olives in his pocket. Where can I plug my blender in? What? I got that long weird spoon with a burl on it.

You got Old Bane for the shrimp I got? We gotta wrap it up. Aw, man. What a fun one, Paul. Always a blast. We love you it up. Oh man, what a fun one Paul. Always a blast. We love you buddy. Gang the Special is reasonable man. It is out on his YouTube page right now. Talk of the town baby. Dude, it's doing, thank God man. Thank you so much.

Please check it out man. And I'll be, I don't know when this is coming out soon? Yeah. Oh so yeah, I'll be Long Island. I'll be doing the brokerage. Working on new stuff the 18th and 19th There you go, and I'm being uncle Vinny's November 1st second going to Germany. I'm going to go into Munich. Yeah, we talked about it They have a comedy thing we're going to the game, but they have a comedy venue there called a fat cat in Munich It's like their comedy club. So I'm doing I'm doing that. So I don't know if anybody listens from Germany

But if you listen from Germany dude get your tickets It's a small thing. I'm gonna go out there that that shows on the eighth and the Giants play the Panthers on the tenth So I'm bringing the family to that then next year We're going to San Diego a bunch of dates on Paul Verzi calm and definitely guys check out reasonable man It's thank God knock on what it's doing. It's doing great. So I appreciate it Paul You're one of the funniest and we love you, but I do I love you guys. Thank you guys so much for having me It's the best podcast out there period. Thank you buddy. Kippy. What do you got for him? Guys ay g and friends on sale now. We're doing one in Philly. We're doing one in New York

All tickets available at are you garbage calm gang? We love you. See you next week. Peace