Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - No Male Babysitters: Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with a family episode and some garbage stories, plus answer some of you questions! They talk trashy cars, horse girls, weird babysitters and a lot more! Its a fun one! Card Game: https://areyougarbage.bigcartel.com  PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://GetRoman.com/Garbage  https://www.fumessential.com  Subscribe on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-you-garbage-comedy-podcast/id1499140700 Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage folks yep a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they grew up to be classy or there's a big old piece of trash oh boy I'm your host age fully coming at show on a beautiful day we're down here and to these basement we got a little family episode going on right now it's just me and the

big dog sitting right across from me you could count as pimples three but we'll see Kevin James Ryan everybody man he's been sitting on that for an hour while we've been in here it's so funny dude you're like a map I the second you came in I knew you were gonna say something the fact you didn't I said that's gonna be in the intro yeah sure is shit I'm like you can't give this guy an inch save it for the pod save it for the pod what happened what do you mean I got a pimp and then it was one of those things it's a camera day so it's like do you pop it do you not pop it what do you do you popped it you went in of course yeah

you got anything out of it yeah but not enough you know what I mean she's deep down there she's got roots yeah whatever it is what it is I'm a 40 year old man with acne I look at you or should I look at him what how do you get them out I'm not gonna laugh at them because there we've been we've been making that joke to each other for 10 years I'm not gonna fake laugh on the pod what up everybody thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate with you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and as you know those numbers are true the fucking roof dog and then a couple other things patreon.com

got some new content coming out today today this drops that's right the kippies crib episode is up there oh it's about 13 minutes long it's a good one guys check that out so if you sign up you can get that and also shout out to everybody we broke we're we crushed past a thousand patron we did fucking bananas thank you everybody it means the fucking world to us another thing get what you got fucking cards are on sale what yep get back back on sale get them while they're hot holy shit very limited number left I know the number that's left and it ain't a lot it's not they'll go you ordered the same amount that you ordered last time

they just moved real quick through that social media they'll go today so if you hear this the links in the description and then also Raleigh on 420 and Nashville on 421 get those tickets live a yg me and the big man doing some stand up doing some live a yg with you guys you'll be asking us questions we'll be asking you questions it's gonna be a good fucking time baby it's gonna be an interactive experience with the audience gonna be fantastic we're going to the south baby yeah we're coming a couple of yanks yeah straight man I'm out again yeah what's going on like sonam maybe sign up I don't know maybe don't turn us

I'm excited it's gonna be a hot one baby how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire you know I'm your friends with this kid I spent a whole I spent a whole day with them on Saturday never heard of him got the vibe that he was getting a little sick of me he makes us all look good here he's the magic man you know him as T-Bone McMuffin but his mom and named them toby McMullen sure what up hey buddy damn yeah me and foliar road dogs dude we're fucking broke we broke down in the Jeep we did a better you than me it was the guy the guy is not a great driver five and a half hours of spring scene

and but rock I got to listen to his favorite band yeah yeah cannibal death course or something brutal not even close that's one of the most talented bands on the planet or and follow he's like what is this like some 41 I was a kick rocks fucking nerd fucking drop-off kid whatever the fuck it was called 13 minutes on that on that video huh yeah it's in its fucking fire dude hot one baby it's bucking for Sundance over here I think he's sniffing around for a raise absolutely fantastic gang this is a family episode it's just us and fucking you guys and we like it that way we like circle in the wagons every once in a

while we're gonna we're gonna get through some patreony questions yeah talk about some things I just had something we got ever gross out a nurse no I don't think so I just I'm just I'd made a nurse gag about two hours ago on the subway now I had to go for a Kovie over to Kovie and I had just kind of was just get kind of getting my day started you know like that I had showered you know I'd showered I'd done everything like that and but I hadn't really done any maintenance in the in the nasal department let's say and she went in for she went got a gummy bear she got a little more than she bargained for huh

there's fallout for you a fruit by the foot up there yeah she got a bug as they would say buggy so she had to throw that one out and do the test and it was nasty all right I'm Jim I'm sharing here yeah well what the fuck that's not everything shareable okay keep some shit close to the vest it was a real embarrassing man she was hot she was packing a cannon on a fucking ship the Battle of Antietam got pirate nose I take out Denzel and Ferris Bueller in one shot shut up the glory fantastic movie check it out man yeah also to you were getting fucking roasted on YouTube for your mustache by the way it's okay

I think anything it's great it's great for the algorithm anytime you change your look we get a million comments about how stupid you look which all helps with the numbers baby I got a fresh look now I'm gonna shave your head and bow when you're sleeping get get the comments really you got roasted so hard it burned it off torch them I got rid of it I got rid of it I don't like it I just couldn't go I couldn't go I couldn't get all the I couldn't take all day I didn't want to take off all my facial hair at once because it's kind of a crotch you know I mean covers up my chin and my neck and my face I know there's a lot more

visible lines going on I wish I was like the wolf man had that just all over I don't know what that disease is called but I could use it trade one of the ones I got doc I got to wear wolves I got a bad case we can't podcast when it's a full moon shit it's getting dark I gotta get home I gotta get home and staple to the bed yeah all right well this is a pop up this isn't a for patreon but there's a lot of patreon and got some Facebook questions as well love that Facebook and I gotta tell you we got some fucking heaters by the way guys so as you know when you join the patreon we'll ask your questions we have

a bit of a backlog but we're gonna get to all of them the fucking fish are jumping on the boat what do you want me to do you know what I mean it's tough to process at all that being said we got a couple of good ones a lot of car related ones I guess because we just I can't be just got new wheels I don't know what it is I can't believe I didn't I didn't realize that was that was a not pre-owned car it'd be pretty weird of about a pre-owned 2021 Kia somebody had it for a week they definitely jerked off and it's only March do a soup kitchen all right this is for Mitchell have you ever had fuzzy dice in your car no I

mean yeah that's what I mean unless it's a lowrider in LA can't be doing that yeah your mind I have a couple cousins that might have had a fucking but this is when they were hot not yet not yeah you know we're talking 82 83 you know it's a tough luck dude yeah I guess if you're like pulling up the high school or something you could have them maybe but you can't be like going to pick your kids up at school with fuzzy dice hanging from your car all this was prime time I gotta be a kid ish you know I mean I had a couple older cousins that you know maybe they were like 16 17 18 19 20 21 20 they had it hot they had the

white walls on the fucking tires were they Billy Joel who the fuck has white walls in the 80s they still had white walls in the 80s I used to have to clean that's the sign of a used car you still got white walls no it was like a Pontiac or something it was it was hot I used to have to clean the white walls on the on the on the tires when they would babysit us on Saturday shout out to the duck shout out the flow used to make me clean their white walls with it great guys they were good was good times we had fun where did you get fuzzy dice pre Spencer's gifts yeah I guess that's when they were like not ironic yeah it

really cool yeah have to have no someone on the inside the getting put get out of the back of loser magazine I went to a casino one time where they had those at the tables a the fuzzy dice at the tables what are you on the prices right looking gambling on Sesame Street yeah well what was next Plinko look at me shout out to Plinko as a kid I was like nothing more garbage than Plinko every dirt ball in the world wanted Plinko and I had a strategy I'm like you go to the left you this fucking keep the fucking washing machine I want the key I was like grand if you got it in the middle right or something a

thousand straight shot right there was one dude that fucking knocked out of the parking got like a couple of G odds at it I do it I think the grand prize was either a thousand or 10 that 10,000 seems great it had to be a thousand in the middle but you got like five or six shots yeah depending on how many questions you could do a couple of things to get a couple more you know what else give Bob a little I fucking did that just brought back remember the wall that you punch and there was cash in there your dad used to do it all there's no money behind the drywall I thought I had a hundred back here you don't remember that one is

paper and of course I think you pulled there was cows another cash prize yeah not to the Barker he was fucking letting everybody wet their beaks in the 90s it's not bad let me tell you something this is real trashy but I've been fucking with a little TV network they got called buzzer which is all the old game shows but it's like 70s 80s early 90s you got like password match game password plus super password all Mark Goodson productions it's what dude it was so nostalgic to sit and watch that stuff yeah I tell you those guys really crossed the line a lot man yeah they got they got handsy they got words he it

was a lot of like hey sugar tits how are you single that kind of stuff you know do Bob Barker you should just smooth yeah that's why you had a long mic he just lift up your skirt with it fucking scumbag and then sniff it man other than that it's alright but you there's a couple of situations you're like oh there's no way there's all those like let's make a date not let's make a date what's the dating one the dating game mystery date or the dating game the dating game three losers in a whore as I like to call it what would you do if I was an ice cream get all that shit but they got real fun of the newly wed game

sprinkles on you the newly wed game was another one yeah where they were like what are you doing your birthday and girls are like ain't all you're like what the fuck I fuck his brother was talking about dinner what do you do which is weird isn't it strange that so in like the 50s it was you know TV had to be like super clean and then somewhere in like the late 60s 70s early 80s it got real wild was the wild west like I mean the shit they're talking about in these game shows you're jerking off yeah a little guy's popping up to see what's on TV yeah and now that like there's no way any of that would fly now oh it's

weird that like cycle you know what I mean it's almost like it follows the rise and fall of uncut cocaine yeah Barker was doing to start doing a couple of sniffies in the radio room you let a couple of things why great question fantastic question let's see this is enough dude this is a fucking this is from Tim Big crawl McGraw Monroe have you ever set your GPS direction to avoid tolls like this I can't believe that this question came up why you do you don't do that you out of your mind you're an easy pass man I'm not but somebody I know is shut up the mom and dad and we're putting a bill on that one who's got

the easiest pass that goes right to the home office I don't even see the bill call it sleazy pass with your mom sometimes I switch hers out keep them guessing no I knew York yesterday dumb bro don't know where she is you want to see helicopters taking that heart medication no we I pick up shaggy over here at fucking grandson great name a couple of Scooby snacks for you to on the ride down it's kids I pick him up I scoop him up and then and then I'm gonna sneak out of town to the Lincoln tunnel that's all fucked up I don't know what was going on okay a monkey fucking a football in there was a fucking nightmare

you've been working on that one you were waiting to squeeze that into a conversation monkey fucking a football I got plenty more that came from not it was an accident or something in there so I kept trying to get down to the fucking Holland tunnel to get to get to your place now as we discussed I'm a fucking meat and potatoes guy when it comes to direction sure I don't fuck with parkways or express any that bullshit if I don't have to sure I go to the turnpike to the turnpike to my mom at a McDonald's to the Burger King to the Pizza Hut to the Domino's to the Applebee's that's right to mom's back the Applebee's that's right

I like to turnpike says I like to know especially Jersey shout out to Jersey they really do it right on that new Jersey turnpike they got a rest stop like every two three minutes they got gas they got snacks they got Roy's which is a big seller with my family you know what I mean sure so the GPS kept fucking sending me back to the Lincoln tunnel no matter how many streets I went down I'm like down at like 20 21st Street on 7th Avenue it's like go back to look at talk about the Lincoln tunnel what am I so why are you listening to it what do you mean why do you don't need it to get out of the city I kind of do I'm one of

those guys I like to I like to set it and forget it you know what I mean I don't like to do you put it on to go home I do I put it I like to go back to your apartment no no not get back to my apartment to my mom's because I don't want to have to think about oh what do I got to get off that's why I got the fucking GPS listen my mom's not paying hard-earned money for this vehicle sure all right for me to be looking at fucking directions like an ansel all right let the fucking car take care yeah sure so I gotta get your money's worth I gotta get your mom's money's worth to get to the fucking howling tunnel which I knew

how to get there but I just I don't know I get real OCD when it comes to our man we got on our hands folks he's been living in New York for up for even how you've lived in New York for like 17 years and you don't know how to get that it's all wonkers down there in the village I don't know what's going on fucking streets are going every which way there is no excuse for not knowing how to get out of New York City as far as long as you live in New York I can get us out let's just traffic it literally took us the exact length of the film escape from New York took us an hour and a half a lot of McDonald's you gotta

stop at 90 fucking minutes of this psycho so I had to pick the one at the bottom to get to the howling tunnel I had to pick the one no tolls required okay and then I forget about it he's yapping in my ear talking about some band or whatever I don't know and then next thing I know we're on the fucking Garden State Parkway like a couple of fucking assholes okay so I'm freaking out sure I get I get up to turnpike and I start losing it he was in control of the vehicle the entire time it was like I don't know what's happening yeah man you get lost in a Tesla that drives itself he's dumb dude that's what it is he's not I thought that I drifted

off to turnpike and and and and got on the apartment by accident but I realized that my GPS doesn't even know what highway he's on do you just see that he thought it was possible for him to switch highways and not know it that's how bad of a driver you are this guy's out to lunch and it's everybody else's fault he'll stop at a green light and be like something guy behind them will be busy what's this guy problem oh we had a little bit of that too didn't we almost beat up some hillbilly and you're in your your neck of the woods why that cheesesteak plate was so so by the way I told you I didn't cosign this is more of

a hard feeling I know I know that he's dumb I don't know what you want well you were talking about directions I'm telling you yeah then you were talking about how it took you know then you went into hard feelings is exactly what you did have you ever go back to fucking Tom's question have you ever said it to tolls just recently yes yes Tom I have just as Saturday as a matter of fact but by accident yes by accident yeah yeah cuz our friend rest in peace Chris Cotton would oh he would turn an hour long car ride for days with a $4 toll to no lie a seven-hour car ride I'm like we're spending 10 times more on we have to

stop for gas every 35 minutes I remember something funny Chris used to always do is he would never fill the tank yeah on a trip yeah he would like we drove that we drew we drove to Bethlehem Pennsylvania which is maybe 90 minutes maybe six weeks because six and we stopped for gas and he'd be like let me just get $10 yeah and then we drive it up we would drive we drive I don't know 25 miles and stop with another rest stop let me get another $8 on this one it was but now I'm like dude I'll give you 20 bucks just fill the fucking tank take us forever to get here he had a system now I hate all that fucking shit I know

give me the toll give me if I am paying for it which I don't I want to go on which I will not pay for that's a family plan what do you want from me oh I'm sorry I have a good support system yeah as I get my career off the ground says I get your career off the ground because I got an easy I got an easy pass bill corporate easy pass bill I get a call from the account where the fuck's the fat man going just driving through the bridge back and think he stopped in a tunnel for a couple hours gang let me ask you a quick question yeah having trouble in the home you have a squeaky

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cure number one core for quitting smoking fantastic so guys go to the website breathefume.com and use our promo code garbage today now back to the show hmm another great one for a car so from Tyler ever kept a dealership license play frame on or the magnet or the sticker after purchasing the car which is funny the frame I I noticed the frame and I was kind of proud that I had the frame yes frame yes yeah for sure tags trash yeah I got the heavy I gave me the metal that day I got the steel front and back New York that day really how'd you get it that day I don't know what they're doing over there at the key

dealership but they're moving and shaking you got it from the dealer yeah what are they a couple of prisoners there I don't know it is a key dealership baking them up fresh I don't know I got shanked when I go in for a little change that doesn't make sense they gave me the metal right there to steal bang bang he's like I got to put these on there said you do that son I'll be catching up Bernie saying goodbye to the T go you got you got those new New York tags to white ones really sweet they're pretty cool I feel I gotta say I'm a dork I'm a loser this is the first time I've ever owned a new car I feel I can care it feels nice

to have a brand new car with New York tags oh man it's cool it's nice cool I feel cool PA is okay PA is okay Jersey's all right Jersey used to have those sweet ones those baby blue ones back in the day yeah they were real fucking nice you can always tell a piece of shit car that still has them they're always they're still on like a Taurus or something that's how we knew we were almost down the shore I don't even know what a fucking highway you're on now let alone when you were a kid going down the shore what's going on fantastic question this is Gary do you talk hold on I'm sorry about that dealer thing I always keep the

dealer thing on there and I would usually maybe take the name from that and give that to the car because I had I had a Martin and I had a Murray one was Murray Dodge Mary Dodge I used to get a lot of cars for Mary of course yeah that they went under yeah solid car you're proving my family yeah for a two tree trucks they're going well I still owe a couple payments you're heading up if you're lending my family buddy what's the name of that place Mary Dodge what I say that Philadelphia yeah I say I am what I am Murray Dodge Mary Dodge Mary Dodge yeah he's going to Mary's yeah go down there get me a dodge it over there Mary's dog

shout out to FC Kerbalt what's FC Kerbalt that was a car dealership and in a great Northeast I've been there right that great great no the Northeast ain't that I got a shot of my cousin Brenda he said that joke fucking a decade ago the FC Kerbalt his things were it was called beautiful visit our two locations in the great Northeast or be you to full Roxburgh my cousin because I've been in Roxburgh it ain't that beautiful and the Northeast ain't that great yeah dude you have a voice for local advertisements oh I love when I go back and you like here on the radio yeah he's come on down I'm like it's like this is a fucking from a

bad movie talk about garbage my dad'll sit and watch those infomercials for the because he doesn't know what's going on for the local he's waiting for this to come on he's watching us right now I love you big guy shout out to the big man but he watches about the easy pass bill don't break big man he watches the local infomercial for the local car dealership they're great my dad used to watch those two that's insane also to you a long girls pretty at my dad used to watch too for some reason on like channel 21 they used to do it was like an all african-american dance club and they used to do line dancing you know what

I mean like the like the electric slide type dance like that kind of line not like cowboy line dancing like and they just would be on for like four or five hours did my dad would fucking get a big plate of chips couple fucking sodas and hang out and just watch that free I guess he liked the music and maybe he was taking some pointers or something he was hanging out it was dude it was so low budget it was like as locally it only went to like nine TVs it was like super local you try to learn how to talk to black I make his move I'd never seen it in any other TV but it wasn't on at my mom's it was nowhere to be found only my

must have been a special package we had good stuff all right this is a this is from Renee true blue screwed in kid fielder shout out to his dry anus have you ever scrape the ice from your car windshield rear windows using a credit card credit card no CD case CD case is that go through credit card ain't too shabby though probably get you in there yeah CD case was not the best it was a little wonky they broke quick I do the best until they would break was the actual CD I just do that with like a burnt CD Wow yeah if I didn't have a fucking scraper who had a scraper I mean I don't know they just invented those

a couple of weeks ago I didn't I'd never even knew of those one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my entire life I got my buddy's car he turned it on and this fucking like like Backstreet Boys or some shit came on he goes oh my fucking sister was in the car he ejects a CD and threw it out the window I had a buddy do that and my mind was bozo it's CDs were still like 20 bucks yeah and it was like I forget what CD was it was a rap CD that he bought and was like frustrated with it and he was just like it was supposed to be good I might have been he bought a chopped and screwed remember chopped and screwed they slowed

it down so when you drink promethazine it would be even slower sipping scissor so the song was like fucking hey what's everybody that was how it played on the CD it was called chopped and screwed and then when you got when you just the name of the song no is a style of music they'd slowed down rap even more it's a Houston thing DJ screw yeah that has to be a DJ screw song for it to be officially chopped and screwed but it has become its own genre music at the time it was it was shut up shout out the screw it up click you would drink promethazine it would slow it down even more so it was a room what's

promethazine scissor sipping scissor cough syrup what are you a fucking none all the sudden yeah no like permit I did adult drugs like a fucking grown up not drinking cough medicine meanwhile he's addicted to fucking starburst over here fully you would love it it's a prescription strength cough syrup that's full of fucking listening that's it's an opioid and you mix on you mix it with soda and put a jolly rancher at the bottom interesting look over he's got two plastic cups stay tuned for a hot new bonus chopped and screwed over there on patreon slow it down I'm gonna get my

scissor upon so they would slow it down because you'd be all fucked up and it would slow it down even just like it would trip you out even more man whatever we my buddy bought it we were like so hype we were like pulling out of the Oxford Valley Mall parking lot and it was a chopped and screwed version fucking tossed out the window my mind was a blown grow some balls and get a coke dealer fuck you drinking scissor come on you do it used to dip blunts in it too ugh you ever get wet I've been playing this all week fully you've been playing in this all day great question great this is from Gary do you talk

Gary do you talk with a cigarette in your mouth what am I an old mechanic yeah that's a tough the smoke's going in your eye right right right right right I did I tried to pull that off for so long yeah you it's it's the cooler version I think I don't know it doesn't I can't do I can't do it I don't look cool you end up eating them just get shorter and shorter where my lip now I never looked cool smoking I always felt like when people especially when I when I got larger bigger put on weight hey you're not that big okay um really chopped and screwed I whenever I smoked I was looking like oh my god he like I don't

look good smoking what would they what would the people think they would think that I was I look like a loser like a fat pig smoking is that what they think here's that what you think that's what my head would tell me I don't think anybody ever stopped and told you that excuse me sir you look like a fat pig that's that's all on you this guy's bunkers yeah isn't it well you were saying isn't it weird that like like well if I had a smoke I quit smoke I'm completely done no nicotine gum no nothing not done I'm not touching I'm off I'm off the sky all right watch your smoke a cigarette on Saturday in his

defense I think he told me Sunday yes it's Tuesday pretty good pretty good last one you had was Sunday so you went Monday Sunday and Monday you said you had one Sunday I didn't say that you said the last time I spoke was Sunday no I didn't say that well can you prove it all right okay prank caller anyway point being look over smoking fully got a light can you got a light don't you worry about my lies but if I buddy I stopped years if I have a cigarette it's smell ice my smell like shit yeah but if I feel like if an attractive person has a cigarette they don't smell as cigarette-y they almost smell good they're like

that well yeah it's not mixing with Slim Jim's yeah it's not a cured meat on fucking on dudes with tight bodies okay fair enough good looking dudes aren't walking around smelling like Swedish meatballs all right shout out to IKEA shout out don't need an Alan wrench for that open up some fucking sweeties love the Swedish meatball yeah they were horse for a long time what they got caught yeah they got caught you didn't know that what yeah yeah Toby doesn't believe me immediately goes to the computer they got big up they got beat up bad they got him up fucking

Belgium I guess it's sweetest you know still keeping an eye on them yeah they got they got jammed up pretty bad damn Swedes eating horse meat yeah fucking boncos those guys she was only in Europe that don't count yeah can't wait you do over there that's like the wild wild west yeah he crossed 59 Street Bridge better be ground beef in those meatballs buddy tell you that right now we're using a family recipe my friend Joe Joe remissionator eats horse all the time who gets it from his butcher all right this is from Dylan Dylan shout out the debone is it trash is still wear a hoodie or a t-shirt from a job that you've

quit or been fired from yeah buddy if you're rocking a fucking pizza hut shirt on an out on a Friday night yeah it's trash I never had that problem because I never I destroyed every piece of clothing I ever had from from a restaurant like that's like an act of like defiance no it's like an act of being fat because I got shit all over it when I was fucking working I was a slob towards the towards towards my end of my tenure at the old bear burger my shirt was disgusting yeah you always had like waiter you could tell even you had clothes that were even when they were clean they were dirty like you like the

shows up in like the pants you're like you went too long without washing those things and now they're just permanently yeah dingy they're in enough shout in the world to get that shit out bonus points if you ever use the old uniform to get an employee discount right in if you done it cuz I'm sure somebody listens as oh that's so weird no what I show up the fucking pet boys wearing a pet boys outfit I work and I swear see on Tuesday get on the intercom ask for yourself would Henry come to the front desk you see what I tell you can the cashier give Henry $10,000 and the cashier give Henry $10,000 you heard the

man get the fuck out of here no ah penny pincher like that you do keep bones cheap he is he bones a cheap guy I'm looking at a bunch of cameras that would say otherwise that's not just because you won't invest in yourself but you're a penny pincher yeah yeah no I'm just frugal broke poor still yeah that's all changing what was it gonna say hold on I want to know what your place did you do that no I didn't say I did I was saying if someone who listens I wouldn't do I wouldn't put it past some of our listeners are savages yeah I wouldn't even know what you would do what do you put on like a McDonald's shirt hey I

work here let me get some fries yeah yo I once I worked at a row I worked at Geno's East in Chicago they opened up a brew called Geno's East Chicago come by down there down there Rose man's try the upside down pizza you won't know what to do with yourself but you'll burn your tongue takes nine hours now they open up a brew pop it was fancier so I took a date over there and then use my employee discount because I worked at the other location oh I hope you didn't have sex with this person of course I did they went on a date with me oh Jesus did she know that you were pregnant with your employee discount I

think so oh did you make her pay half what not at regular price yeah I'm technically the employees I don't remember you working Saturday brunch last week that's garbage I worked I worked at ACME the supermarket growing up and they gave me a fat a family much of this spaghetti how much if you work here how much of the loose rolls now do I get a discount because I used to bag groceries here hey my manager sent me over to get some loose rolls and old pickles ever the pickles in the in the barrel the kosher pickles my dad was a big kosher pick if you're fucking grocery stores deli counter didn't have that big-ass

fucking barrel in the front with a bunch of pickies in there yeah you're doing it all wrong you were bobbing for pickles oh my mommy's to let us she said we used to get her own pickles I was saying using your mouth but cheeks first you're boofing the pickles big boys Henry look over but we had they gave me a card like a key card like do you swipe like your bonus savings card or whatever key card but like it goes on the your key chain oh I mean like the little and they were hey do you have those you're trash you

have your super mom is 8 million oh yeah yeah yeah yeah my mom's a janitor of savings is she you swipe that but it would give you a 10% off of your groceries so my game one of my sister and then she used it until they were like she used it for like a decade after because they didn't like stop it or kids fucking the weekly the week she did the order the formula the diapers 10% off all that so impacts tampons but I remember at one point they were like yeah where did you get this this thing's from like the fucking 80s and they were like yeah this is that we don't do this promotion anymore so they fucking snatch

the fuck she's going in the back and grabbing a pallet of Wonderbret like let's see this is for miles shout out the miles mm-hmm have you ever put a jacket or a hoodie over the garbage in your car to hide it before picking someone up wait what have you oh just oh just okay like cover the mess I picture like a trash bag in the passenger seat you put a jacket on it put the seatbelt on it so it looks like you got some muscle with you make it look like a person yeah for sure I would do that yeah yeah whatever I did that with him on Saturday yeah yeah I was I for some reason I had a beach towel in my car I

guess when we were down the shore or something and we never used them they were just folded in the back and then somebody was getting in and I was like fucking I like nicely placed it over it was like a flamingo beach towel which looks worse than the trash but yeah you got to you got to fucking keep up appearances yeah I like trash and I like putting my trash in there though you know I mean you're lazy enough feels like yours and then you clean it out and you get it you know you get a detail get the car that's the most insane logic I've ever heard of my life what's like you're crashing your car to make it feel like

it's yours it's your space you're just used to living in your trash that's what identifies your space is sitting in your own car you did not think this one out being this is your laziness because you do it here you litter all your shit behind here your fucking bogeys yeah that's gross it's laziness is a trash can nine feet from you it's full yet your trash collects you behind you it's full the trash over there yeah why don't you take it you wouldn't even know where to put it I'd ask you you put it in your car save it for later hey I call trash put some sweatpants on them fantastic let's

see here this one's not this is from put some respect on my name master P I know that one no little peaty peaty bird bird man bird man right is that who it is this has been word association with an idiot do you ever retake fast food cup fast food soda cups when you go back to a place I assume to not have to buy one we got this question a couple times actually like will you go to McDonald's with the McDonald's cup in your car and then fill that up so you don't have to buy another drink do they let you do that you can just hand him the cup and say fill this up no a lot of places you do it on your own oh outside no so you're

taking your own cup under the disguise that you you bought it I'm a drive-thru man I'm like I'm not walking hey can you fill this up and it's a little I was just here yeah I don't fuck with that yeah that's nuts I don't even like doing the water cup I buy I buy I guess it gives you the anxiety you're gonna get caught I know I'm not giving some fucking jerk off at a Chipotle the satisfaction a kick in me out before I've enjoyed my bowl I'll give you the fucking 250 for the mr. Pibbs I don't care yeah I yeah chips are fresh I feel the same way I think I've done it like once or twice and it is just anxiety and

I feel like a piece of shit yeah I mean listen if you're a parent and you know you got fucking four kids and you got to take in the Mickey D's yeah I'd make those little Rugrats fucking hang on to them but then what's that teaching them you know sure next thing you know you're using your fucking employee ID on a date like a grease ball yeah this is a fucking home run as is from no famous Franco do you have you ever owned an electric dartboard I knew you weren't gonna know what that is too many words for you the one that doesn't have the one that's what's electric mean boogie woogie woogie do the hustle it was all

shit like daddy loved watching it we would just sit there and watch it oh my god electric electronic dartboard what are you not getting about slow wait first of all you're yelling at me all right not see I need a cigarette and McDonald's somebody get me a cup there's some trash around me look over your Bob got your head in the truck are you talking about the ones that don't have points on them but that the dartboard has holes in them yes yes all right what's electric about that what do you mean well that did that tell is the tail is the score it what was it I can't say that word say it again

counts the score it accumulates the numbers say tally's fully just out of himself as just being the biggest piece of garbage because he has used an electric dartboard but he's never used one that has been plugged in or had batteries yeah no those don't work your mom never let you plug it in because he's a wacko yeah yeah they were real trash yeah gotta go classic like we have that one over there that was like 34 bucks or something that's the that's the fucking classic one we don't have a potato we should have a potato though for lunch for a potato you put a potato you put you put the darts in a potato keeps

them sharp you ever heard that yeah you get a you get a potato okay baked your fried he chopped it up dropping it dropping it up and oil 350 I like to mash myself now you stick it you stick a potato you stick them in a potato okay and it keeps the fucking darts sharp okay what aren't you getting about this pimples you said we need one yeah you want to catch sharp darts and bars people like I'm in fucking like an asshole great question fantastic well that was so to me that was a thing of the 90s where it go like the late 90s where they were like let's fucking make everything electronic right suck it was

the it was the idea of the plastic super cheap we can now have the technology to do this and make it affordable to people but it's like so unactual usable trash you had to like get it perfectly in that little hole yeah and the darts were plastic they always banned they were like what the fuck I remember I went over my buddy I'm like dude this thing stinks yeah but you couldn't throw it at your buddies or something yeah that was awful that I remember when they when they fucked up the etching sketch they tried to like make that electronic sketch yeah maybe that electronic something iPad

watch it move all these fucking watching Lord of the Rings on an etch a sketch try to make my smiley face I used to be mean on an etch a sketch really I was terrible at that shit it's terrible really I picked you as an artist but they also they all remember when they tried to make battleship electric that was actually pretty sweet yeah yeah I only have ever completed a game of battleship always lost interest or ate the ships I just wanted to play with the ships I take the pegs I cut the pegs off and I'd have here in the bathtub it's a fucking teenager no you know we used to have when I was a kid in Captain Crunch you to

get a submarine and if you put a little baking soda in there it would it would in the captain crunch no in the in the submarine they'd give you a little submarine okay I got you I follow you all right by Captain Crunch come on you let's go you put a little baking soda you put a little baking soda there and it would die it would like swim in the water pretty sweet sounds it keep your mind off when you get finger blasted by some babysitter he was nice keep your eyes forward that was always where I had a buddy who was like he lived in New York and moved up here and he had a kid he's like hey we need money and babysit I'm

like a guy babysitters aren't a good fucking look we did that once and it fucking really backfired on the whole family it was a situation they're smoking inside and stuff it's not good no my cousins that's a different situation they would watch us of course but it was one of those nights where the where the multiple families went out like my mom my dad my uncle my aunt they all went out yeah somebody gets Jim to come over yeah I remember this just it was a real tense in the house when he walked in I'm like I don't know I feel like a German shepherd I didn't like this guy I was growling at him yeah

she had it everywhere and then something weird happened later on in the evening which he was never I think I ever saw the guy after that sounds like a nice night out Jesus Christ this is from Patrick Patrick when was the last time you illegally dump something in a dumpster legal this is kind of fucking cop yeah what am I supposed to do with it leave it somewhere illegally dump something in it that's what dumpsters are for unless you be I'll put a chain on it you don't want me to throw my shit in there yeah well like behind like a grocery store or something yeah something that's a

technically what would be an illegal dump you're not a lot of put stuff in those technical everyone you've ever taken I had some nachos last night yeah now well you know what I didn't have not just less than I don't know what you're not agreeing I didn't have not just I should know I didn't ask you a question you turn on ago no I don't know what I've never I've never illegally dumped anything oh what am I a fucking dirt ball what am I doing what do you mean we were a big dump family I mean in my fraternity house we had a bunch of nitrous tanks in there and then the national chapter showed up on expect it

one Saturday and we threw them down the hill on 95 I don't know if that counts I don't think so yeah no no we used to go throw shit in dumpsters okay I got caught when they were like get that out of you're not allowed to have that fuck you who's telling you that they're well they're private dumpsters the dumpsters aren't like for the public that's the dumbest thing I ever heard if there's a dumpster but there's a dumpster behind a Kmart you're allowed to throw your trash in no you're not what are you supposed to leave it somewhere what do you mean that's what's gonna happen what do you mean leave what trash somewhere what it's

a trash can trash cans are for dumpsters different than a trash can okay so like a dumpster that you would like I know what I don't know where well I don't know what the best places I don't say you're throwing like I'm not saying like throwing a bag of McDonald's in a dumpster that's yeah that's illegal you're telling me technically yeah I'm saying we go real stuff we used to like tape like my dad would always just take stuff from the house and go find a dumpster like he just didn't like trash around the house so we would find a dumpster every he'd take a dumpster every day I understand like he would find somewhere like where

when you put it in the fucking trash can and wait till trash day because he was a fucking weird dude that and like if you ever had like a bet or something you had to get rid of we would just go find dumpsters oh yeah stuff like that yeah that's what I'm saying I got caught oh yeah beds air conditioners all that shit this is incredible this is fully learning about not only a new crime but a new crime he's committed yeah I don't I don't understand it yeah you're not allowed to do that really private yeah they're paying for that but you get you can get paying for it whoever the dumpster say you go to like a townhouse

community center or something right or they're always wide open yeah but that's how they get there's a lot of eyes on you because all the people I mean it's like pooping in a hotel what's you know you know they have to pay to get it moved and you're gonna pay that you're gonna well I'm saying that if you're a business you're gonna pay to have that dumpster whether I'm putting my mattress in there sure but you have it when you feel it that's what I'm saying so then if you fill it with a mattress they can't put their stuff in and have to get it pulled quicker which then cost them more money hey tough break it's all for

charity I love how he went from not knowing what a dumpster was to know I don't do that yeah we do that all the time I don't know what you meant I who's gonna give you shit about that a cop's gonna come and bust you for that no you're picking it up but like if a fucking say it's a construction site that people like you can't like get the you're not allowed to do that that's our private dumpster I wouldn't do their construction guys around I'm not saying you are but you asked me a question and then defended yourself against the question I'm not saying you what I'm just saying that's who says that stuff if

you go to like a fucking apartment complex it's super you know what I mean something sure yeah well who's ever dumpster it is okay let me ask you to say you come down from your building and you have trash in your car would you throw it at will you put it in like a somebody else's trash can out in front of another building like a person's yeah buildings or do you think that's what do you mean like buildings like what building has a trash can every building has trash cans they're all in the alley or behind the thing okay check this out it's illegal to dump trash in someone else's dumpster without permission getting

caught doing so is punishable by $500 plus fines and possible jail time can imagine that what are you in for I throw out an old mattress yeah watch out for me uh no I'll save it for like a wah wah a 7-a-let like if it's in my car I'll well like we have also in my name there's trash cans on the corner so I would throw it in that or something yeah that's what I mean yeah yeah yeah do that yeah okay but I'm not we're not talking trash I'm not talking like a bag of like a fucking soda can and a bag of chips talking like large pieces of objects to throw in a dumpster yeah like a couch a couch yeah fucking yeah you paint was always a big

one we always had to make paint cans disappear that was I remember that was always a thing you're just drinking them you could well you couldn't put them in the in the trash yeah they'd get you yeah so you stop doing whatever you're doing to your finger as it looks gross I'm not sure what you were doing but you're making eye contact with me and I could see you zoning out okay I was playing with my cuticle I mean this guy is something else today what do I mean nice time I know joy you fucking stone walled me on the last two questions electronic dartboard and throwing something in a dumpster you

actually you didn't know what either one of them were and then had a very staunch opinion on them at the end of the conversation well don't ask me criminal questions on a video tape man I this one's from Tony P Tony P have you ever borrowed a friend or family member's handicap parking permit so you could park closer ooh that's trash yep it is my buddy Steve had one in high school and I what do you get that he just had one like he but got his hand he was I he was like a car dealer like a used car dealership no he just had the black have the plate to you gotta know can just be in the hook oh really I don't

think if you just have the hook I don't think it's almost gonna be like let me let me see your fucking handicap cards or whatever you just taking someone's word for it you know what I mean but we would like pull up to the mall and he would do I felt so bad he would park in front of the mall like four stone parking park in the mall for stone teenagers would get out everybody like these guys aren't handicapped you know what I mean we're like fucking chomping each other playing grab ass yeah I felt real bad yeah we were never allowed to do that stuff that was there's some things that the Foley's don't don't cross

yeah you know we just call you fucking digging your nail again we you know we may do a lot of things but something like that you know we have lines that we draw sure yeah we don't we don't take handicapped parking okay that's good yeah all right this one's from Mike is it garbage to travel everywhere you go with a backpack yeah I hate fucking backpacks especially if you're on the fucking subway and you're an adult man take your fucking backpack off you take it off yeah they say what are your books in there who's what the fuck like all right you have a backpack sure but I'll give you that backpack because that

backpack's not packed with shit sure you what do you got in there I have my computer for the show it's all work stuff I'm not like rolling out on a fucking Tuesday afternoon with a back with like supplies I got my fucking computer I got my charger you know that's that's mainly it maybe a t-shirt a book yeah a dildo yeah backpack guys you get the fuck out of here well New York's a little different I guess major cities are different except especially like New York is a comedian or whatever like you and you have a day job you leave the house you gotta have a change of clothes like you we were we used to be out for like

fucking 15 hours 16 hours a day so it was like I leave the house at fucking 7 a.m. not get home till 2 in the morning or whatever I need supplies true you know what I mean I gotta have a change of color gotta change out of my jerk off business clothes I need a I need a pair of jeans I never understood that what because you look nice in your business clothes I would just wear the same thing all night you do that now fully doing spots in a neighboring it's got a hair net in the book the ticket out right now people's orders right my jokes in there one of the big trays I got a bus boy behind you again we're getting ready

to drop the appetizer fire the entries they're annoying though the guy in the backpack if you it's it's so weird to especially New York because you'll see fucking like dudes in suits right like I used to work in a like a very prestigious huge law firm like very very as top-shelf as high-end as you can get and I mean the lawyers were worth millions of dollars and they would be in there like fucking whatever they're like nice suits you know what I mean mm-hmm and then they'd all be like fucking they'd have like big backpacks on what that mess up the suit yeah I'm like you look like a fucking really big third

grader like trying to get to the bus you look like a fucking asshole stepping out of the bends with a jansport is tough yeah you'll yeah they look like a seven-year-old businessman they were always the same guy the guy in the suit with the backpack almost undoubtedly would pull up in the the foldable bicycle is the biggest fucking dork machine yeah yeah if anybody with a foldable bike has ever gotten laid I don't know what the fuck to tell you it's a top those are things are brutal yeah those guys are always dick yeah I always have like elbow pads on and stuff some but get a fucking taxi to

hit him dude the foldable bike well you know what funny dork what's even worse so it's up in where I live up in the heights of the George Washington bridges right there so you see all of the people who are don't want to pay the toll for the commute every day that tolls like 16 claims saying cheap so people don't want to do that every day to my mother they live right across the bridge or I don't know whatever take their bike in their bikes scooters you see you see guys in suits on like rollerblades and stuff you're like what are you dude how are you fucking scooting up to any respectable job like that you look like

a bozo the guys on the scooters zipping around the city hit the fucking bricks I don't I disagree with all that and I know the blaseo is real big on this a little inside baseball in New York the blaseo is big on he wants but more more bikes and more buses and less cars get the fuck out of here this is New York City those bike lanes are a fucking nightmare plus they're fucking popping out like fucking maniacs they don't listen they don't respect any any lights or anything you're just zipping around because they know if you hit them or they hit you that you got a fucking pay it's fucking bullshit what was your original

question I don't know backpacks yeah I lose it this is a no for me this is another one this is from Jesse did you ever have to fetch a hubcap as a kid when your mom nick the curb or something I assume you've had to go running out into the turnpike to get one it's not going on I tell you child safety really goes out the window when you fuck when you lose a rim right dirty oh yeah I've shagged a few of those really oh yeah we had a I don't know it had to be a mid sixties not a Falcon a matted we had a Ford matted door away like before we got our first like real family car that like I can like they had like when before we

were born my parent my dad had like a Camaro and fucking something they had a nice Jeep like a family Jeep we were like we were like babies but then when we moved to Philly we had a Ford matted door and this the hubcaps would pop off on this thing like a fucking hot wheels and you'd be like you almost be driving with the door halfway open Chinese you get it as it's rolling on ready to make a move like cap shield or something like that yeah I don't think we never that never happened to me whenever I'm I never really she was an alright the only time she ever hit she hit one of the pretzel vendors one time remember how they do

just stand out the dude just to stand there and hold and sell pretzels like on the corner like the busy corners oh yeah oh yeah for adults round paper bags and really soft pretzels and they would sit there they'd have a crate that they would buy for like you know probably 20 bucks for the day or whatever like Allegheny Avenue yeah we always get we always got him a buyberry and fucking like right at woodhaven and buyberry that's the guy she hit he was she was buying them and then he bought I don't know what happened but he was walking across and after she bought the fucking I'm in the back having my

pretzels and the next thing you notice poor Schmuck comes flipping over the front of the car over the windshield really yeah he found he was like oh man he popped right up yeah dude it was fucking she he fall he you know she flopped at the damn yeah the piece no hubcast what she was taking out pretzel vendors for sure yeah that's garbage yeah hubcaps in general or trash what were they thinking with those they don't have cheaper but they don't have hubcaps anymore it's less because technology is changing you can now rims are cheaper to make right before it was they were the rims were expensive so

they made just that the black shitty rim and then clip a fucking hubcap on there so it looks the same yeah I mean interesting yes yes yes this is from big Texas Jensen who I think it's our boys Jen were you ever I think we've touched on this before we ever the last kid who was picked up from school or practice I've never multiple yeah yeah yeah I've been left a hand full of time yeah it sucks yeah it was always my dad my dad always left me somewhere it was like super late I usually gave a pretty tight attitude when that would not happen yeah well you feel like a fucking asshole I especially if people are

like waiting for you like I got left of school the one time I don't know if there's a music communication like my mom picking me up or my dad I think I've told this hoping you just not come home I was in like the fucking it was again after school program we've you've made fun of me for this and he left me there one time they're like was it football haha no it's cheerleading then you're a dork no it was I was in elementary school it was because nobody my mom wasn't at home after a latchkey kid yeah the big headed room with the other big headed room but they got what the girl thinks she's a horse

shout out to Laura really oh yeah did we talk about this I don't know you went to school with a girl who thought she was a horse oh yeah oh yeah trying to slipper your carrot me out at the stable scumbag no she would obviously you know I'm a veterinarian obviously something something socially emotionally you know mentally she was all there I don't know obviously had oh you think there was something wrong with her yeah thanks obviously I'm not walking around thinking I'm sea biscuit yeah you wait the same could use a biscuit huh it's everything Daisy coming up around the corner and

Laura has overtaken her on the inside well yeah she man that's real fucked up yeah and obviously this is back in the day where like schools now know how to handle they just they were like let her go you know so and all the kids too everybody was super nice to her because it was like wait a minute hold on she legit thought she was a horse she didn't talk very little a lot of nays and the swear to God yeah she was like a senator yeah I'm not sure I got that one I laughed it in and I'm like oh they're not doing it either all opposed nay oh man man this guy I'm opposed to that joke fucking nothing on that come on

it's just whole things is set up t-bone you really got to connect the dots sometimes like tinker tailer soldier spy over speaking cognit over here Barney rubble trouble yeah we'll be in rubble the nays have it yeah and she thought she was it was a prop kid so what's she doing now last time I saw she was working at running at the Belmont she's glue they had to put her down making meatballs out of her and I can't all in here so you bring it back that sucks that poor kid um she was yeah she was super not yet she but she would um she would stand in the back like we had a lineup to go to like

gym class or whatever she would stand there with her one foot up you know how like horses stand with like the one I had a lot of anxiety when I was a kid I couldn't handle that I fucking need this like a hole in my head it was no it was very normal back then we she was she went to school though since kindergarten so like by second grade you're like yeah that's her would you go to school the x-men academy what do you mean that was normal I do I mean like you're just like okay she thinks she's a horse I mean you're not gonna be there's not a lot of meat on the bone you can only make fun of it for so long until you're yeah that's

that's her thing you know what I mean shit so she was accepted everything is I mean it's fine her parents were they would come to their parents were wacky yeah they were probably goofballs which fucked the kid up yeah but um the one time there was uh there was a sub and she would set she was allowed to just kind of do whatever she wanted you know what I mean so she set up a bunch of chairs what class were you in when what do you mean I mean usually I mean I'm older than you oh I know and those situations were usually how do I put this delki they were sorted out they were you know there were certain classes for certain

people yeah yeah so my question to you is what were you pretending to be that you were in the foot you were on fucking Noah's Ark with the fucking well what class was that a football helmet on um no just she was in regular classes I don't think she was I don't think you were in regular classes buddy this is coming from a guy who doesn't know what an electronic dartboard is and then no I was in normal classes normal raccoon Kevin the teacher was an alligator everybody turn your page turn your books to page 32 everybody just a big alligator all right I mean guys come on no normal class I think uh because mentally she was there emotionally they were so

like whatever man I don't fucking know the whole school knew she was a horse girl and they just let her fucking this sounds like you hooked up whether you're trying to justify to your friends she's mentally she's all there um she doing okay now you know I saw her working at a fast food restaurant oh really I mean she's got it together okay she's doing all right um fries were a little soggy but I want to talk to your manager let me talk to the let me talk to your jack yeah she can't work at the counter because she gets spooked when people walk behind her she's kicking the guy just kicking the guy on the grill she's got to work back at house hey I needed to cover tonight Laura threw a shoe

ah that's terrible I'm telling you man we didn't make fun of her but the one time so we did a couple situations like that too yeah there wasn't really a lot I thought he was a beaver no it's just that wasn't uh and even for the 80s I think this is pretty nobody really messed with anybody that had like a situation they they they weren't they weren't fucked with yeah no they I'm telling you were a jerk that's it was dude it was so normal but if you were fat oh man if you if you were a regular civilian fucking and the boys came in you got it and you got it good we had a couple of serious bullies in my fucking schools coming up yeah kids that were like hit by their parents that would come in looking to take it out on somebody

and man did they it wasn't I had a velour I had a I had a maroon velour sweatsuit that I wore once it was a long day yeah and that's tough too when you're just like you're hemmed up you got to like maybe take the top off so it's not as much put the top in the locker see if somebody has gym shorts or something I'll never forget it man it was a maroon like adidas fucking sweatsuit that like didn't have it was like they were like almost like pants they were sweatpants but they didn't have like the the cuff at the bottom they were just oh man straight-legged oh yeah straight-legged I don't know what I was thinking look I look like a little gym teacher I don't think you were little dude we got to take the power back from these bullies we got to get you a fucking velour maroon

jumpsuit rocking on a pod yeah right look pretty good um that reminded me one time I wore uh so it was high school it was probably high school early high school 9 10th grade I think I was getting driven to school probably you know it was like I don't know whatever it was 15 16 and those mornings it was so early and not like all the lights weren't I remember like a handful of times you would get to school and be like what the fuck did I choose that like where's something you know what I mean it just but I took early I flicked the lights on to brush my teeth and shit I wasn't getting dressed in dark no I just remember like there was something that was like wrinkled or a stain on what are you the other woman you can sneak it out of the house I didn't get it um but just the

one but I'm just saying things are moving quick in the morning you're not you're not you don't have all your gears aren't going to have all your bearings you know what I mean you're more likely to make a mistake pants are on your top shirts on the bottom so I uh I had a sweatshirt a hoodie that I guess was left in the washer too long and but I got to like the first period class I'm like fuck is that smell it has that moldy smell and I'm like fuck is that smell and I was a fat kid so what I didn't you Aquaman hey mold boy moldy Ryan over the adventures of mold boy um and dude even worse I think it was a bad laundry there something I didn't typically I always made sure I had a shirt under the sweatshirt that I could wear I could take this but I had

something like really tight that was like optically worse than the smell was of the hoodie so I just had to fucking ham up and have this thing oh dude talk about self-conscious oh man I was a tough one tough I was like anybody got cologne like I was a guy I didn't have gym that day I was I was 16 this is high school yeah oh man yeah that's a tough one no fucking moldy Ryan over here yeah that's going to be the artwork that everybody does moldy Ryan moldy Ryan yeah it was a tough one I remember shout out to fucking AJ who hit me with like some fucking eternity by Calvin Klein to douse on myself yeah we all took our lumps you know what I mean yeah okay

she just said like you were wrapping up a musical or something we all took our lumps that's what we did um all right let's rip through a couple of more here hot cues baby I gotta give it to the fucking garbage they got some hot fucking fantastic this is from Austin we've touched on this before playing the lawn the lawn sprinkler drink from the garden hose for sure sure big fan big fan big fan of the sprinkler ice cold yeah as if you caught it on the side of the house where the sun wasn't and it was cool it's coming out let it run for a little bit clean living yeah what was that baby this is from Kim have you ever used a washing machine as a cooler at a party that is top notch trash wait like I knew you weren't gonna understand that put ice in the washing machine yeah what do

you do with the ice afterwards melts it's a washing machine they fill with water it's pretty ingenious when you think about it wow yeah throw a load of whites in everybody got cool water in there put turn it on a little bit shake it up get it moving make jungle juice in there it's the perfect high school crime yeah it's like killing a guy with an ice pick it's no evidence an ice down an ice pick that's true ice cycle yeah yeah that's not too shabby that's just murder damn yeah that's fucking trash yeah never done it like we've talked about like you make that the bar and cover with like the red plastic thin thing from the dollar store yes put a nice bucket on there

a couple of two maybe three liters if you got company coming over yeah yeah yeah nice bottle of maraschino cherries fresh cut up a couple of lines but I never did that yeah um yeah that's real trash I think in college if I'm not mistaken the bathtub was turned into a cooler at one point makes sense fill that with ice and put the beers and all that shit in there makes sense I guess yeah hotel rooms I'll do like the you know you always got to do the fucking the sink fill the sink with ice dump the beers in there in the hotel room you do that now like as in just you and your girl go somewhere what sink are you using we stay in nice hotels that typically have two sinks last hotel the one the last hotel we just did that I put it on

instagram two sinks yeah why don't you just put it in the ice bucket it was a six pack fucking six packs they're gonna fit in the eye what am I a fucking jerk off yeah no come on why yeah I want to reach my friend that's the right phrase new vorice is that new rich if I was rich sure it'd be the right phrase new I'm existing poor I don't know um all right this is from uh so there we got two or three left here this is from David uh David Duda uh let's see this back to the car what's the this is what's the uh how long is acceptable to leave the price sticker or the package detail in the window of your new car that day what the fuck I know that that day they

didn't even put mine on the call I wasn't even on the car I get rid of all I listen I don't save the fucking sneaker box I don't save the fucking phone box I don't save any of that shit I want to get out of it rip it up throw it away I don't want to I want to move past the purchase leave that thing in the window what the fuck is that what are you showing off driving around with a number with a slash through it yeah I don't know if I ever told you we went to I'd keep those up to one of those numbers on the on the windshield yeah like so I don't know if I ever told you with my brother needed a car he was hemmed up and he went and we were like we were looking at like old used cars for like super cheap or whatever and like they're like oh the budgets I don't know fucking

five thousand something whatever it was and he was in high school or college and we're there with my mom we're walking around she goes oh this one's only this one's under this one's only $1,990 this one's only $1,999 this one's only $2,000 it was the year I was like yeah that's a fun she said they're looking like a 2,000 lexus being like oh it's 90 you know it's only 2,000 bucks I'm like don't you think it's weird all these cars are fucking all of them $3 of each other you ditzy bro that's pretty funny yeah um all right and this is the last one this is a visual that we'll have I'll have to send t-bone the the thing for it says if you've ever had these at your house you are garbage t-bone I'll have to say that let me see but for the listener it's the the small corona

salt and pepper shakers dirt ball city you stole that from a fucking taco joint yeah that's a trash that is a tough fucking look man that's trash that's one if you have I go over that you that salt was never clean either no it was always a couple pieces of pepper or something yeah yeah yeah you ever go to a place where they put a little rice in with the salt is that classy or trashy it's uh it preserves it longer and doesn't there's like the natural oils in the whatever they let it called it don't let it clump up it's a big brain on horse boy good it's mold man yeah that's it baby let's wrap it up dang we love you do us a favor why don't you come out and see

us do a little fucking AYG live we'll stand up comedy April 20th at Raleigh Good Nights in Raleigh North Carolina and then the next night we're going to be cruising down the Nashville, Tennessee Asheville, Tennessee that's right over there at Zanies and doing the show again come out and see us uh sign up for fucking Patreon get yourself some cards uh we love you and we'll see you next week peace peace