Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - PATREON! Hard Feelings - Kicked Out of AirBnB

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

This is from the EMERGENCY Hard Feelings broadcast from earlier this year. Enjoy this drama filled, bonus episode of Hard Feelings w/ Kippy & Foley from the Are You Garbage Patreon Page. Join the Patreon for weekly Hard Feelings and bonus episode of Are You Garbage. Thanks for watching. Love youse guys. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage

are you garbage so as you know as you might have seen on the Instagram pose you know we talked about how we got a very nice Airbnb in the Hollywood Hills bottom of the Hills but it was like the second house on the Hill but it was technically still the Hills I had my own bedroom my own bathroom acting less singing lessons dancing lessons Tommy's never had that before in his life I know he didn't even grow up with a bathroom nope fucking outhouse Cassidy never had my own bathroom so there was very strict rules and obviously after this there's and there's a hard feeling this is a special installment there's a the actual

hard feelings is coming out after this live from that Airbnb that we recorded poolside at that Airbnb so it's the the order is a little wonky but when you watch that just imagine a gun pointed to the back of all of us yes exactly we didn't know we were in the crosshairs at the moment they had us dead to rights I knew he was coming down was only a matter of time before the LAPD caught up with man so very strict rules house rules that we didn't pick up on when we got before when we booked it whatever known as we were pulling up there we are reading the rules and they were very very strict no smoking on the property

absolutely no gas shoes off in the household which I think all the air bees and bees out here it's no guests shoes off no smoking it's what this town stinks for Airbnb it's wonky for sure of course thank you but we'll see you guys next week good night and good luck so very strict no smoking policy on the property and this guy goes I have cameras the whole nine yards blah blah blah I go okay so we started going out to the street to smoke cigarettes we paint a little picture here we're talking LA fucking slime ball yes guy was a little greasy this is this is what he did to pay his taxes it was probably his parents

house he has he had fish face from the fucking the plastic surgery he had real vein like he looked like he was should be in like fucking selling sunset or something real inappropriate to Cassidy yeah is your smear campaign done yet possibly I thought he was a great guy personally yeah really cool super reasonable good sharp dresser so possibly a communist can't be confirmed so we are these rules very strict we all roll over the rules we'll go okay so the smoke we're obviously got a weird vibe from the guy when we first met him like yeah sure so we ask I ask if we can have a guest over to come record a

podcast he says no right away this was the next day our second day there right just so we checked in on we checked in on Monday we had a nice we had a nice a nice night Toby when we checked in immediately me and Toby were riding high we got the LA or when we checked in next bubble burst like the guy didn't like the guy at all which I get it did you know it's whatever but it's you know it is what it is so we go out go to dinner we go to dinner get all boozed up all boozed up wait when was that what we do the first night where do we go to dinner we had the we had the show at the improv first night oh yeah show at the

improv first night sold out thanks for coming hot fucking show it's been a hot with the hot week for fucking for the AYG team is out here doing it the shows have been unbelievable everything else has been shambles I've got about 15 parking tickets on the Denali out there even get me all over goddamn town we had a nice breakfast this morning quiet breakfast I imagine very true very much what I forgot about that even in setting that original story up I forgot about the punchline so all right he's real strict on the rules not let any guest over being very unreasonable do the show Monday night do the show Monday

night go out get boozed up hanging out with our boys Jeremiah to Josh out of Myers go go to Norm's you know have some dinden at like 2 3 a.m. get back about 2 a.m. we all go inside and Foley wants to this is where the details get hazy folks we're not a hundred percent sure about all this so whatever we all go we come back drunk and go to bed wake up the next day good day out by the pool mean we were doing we take a huge walk we go to breakfast huge walk I'm was up the hill about seven minute walk I'm not even joke 15 both ways 14 that's how your brain works either way a magical day in the villa oh my god we're out there we're

fine our whole week ahead of us at this place this point I'm alive Tommy I can't but it all came crashing down we were flexing on the gram like bozos he bones editing videos on the fly we're fit doing face throws to old girlfriends and shit you dumb bitchy what you could have had hi is Tammy there or me and me and the big man on the way but walk back from the fucking breakfast we grabbed some amosa we grabbed some champagne and orange juice from most are up by the pool having a fucking day it's our first day off after the fucking shows and traveling loving it however what at that breakfast that morning we were worried

about this guy and we were gonna have Santino come and record at the house or at the house that was the plan to do the same he was very no guests very no guess I think we might did we go over this on some on the episode that's coming out after this let's get it rolling Kevin build a case here I know I know I'm out of the fence I know I tie my hands behind my back trying to shoot you out shoot your legs out from under you so Kevin calls him a cocksucker I hit him up I hit him up I said hey can I have a friend come over for lunch because we're recording 11 cousin I said and he goes call me right away no like sure I

understand go I understand the rules are strict but just give me a call all right just said I wanted to see if my friend could come over at 11 for lunch he just responds call me I call him because you didn't read the rules I go listen you fucking jerk off I read the rules that's why I acknowledged the rules in the message I sent you you know what I mean so you go I don't want to make it a fucking thing get out of here or whatever day goes on we get all boozed up by the pool we go out to a nice din din shout out to Timmy Dillon for the recommendation the Scala right home run down there the Scala in Beverly Hills

delicious old-school Italian delicious five-star joint keep it got the chicken form it was great best chicken parm yeah like he's at his quarter deli no chicken for him out what do you want for me that's crazy don't I ask for chicken fingers I didn't want to I saw my noodles throwing up I did not you didn't you ate buttered noodles you ate buttered cheese what I knew you yeah try the linguine you're really a dirtbag let's get this piece of shit yeah you would you or you were the linguine in clams like my step oh dude Tommy Tommy at a fucking restaurant man he struck twice you

know what wait what white wine do you recommend it I said give me your best pino grigio and then he goes back and forth to the guy fucking linguine and clam sauce or my muscles marinara whatever you go the way sit there eating fucking linguine and clams like he's on a fucking casino bus great meal I got a voucher get out of here so we then go out I got a clam coupon Tommy brought his own clams just give me the linguine they're de-shelled just sprinkling them in just give me the linguine in the can opener we so we go out to dinner great dinner get boozed up at dinner we go meet our pal Josh Potter over there at the

comedy store for a nice fucking hang patio ripping hella burnies in the burnies hanging out everybody was shit great night having fun I would say the quote of the trip was Josh Adam Myers going amen was y'all heater budget that's pretty high so we're sitting there and at this point I had anxiety about the Airbnb guy with trying to get Santino in there because he was so strict but once we were gonna we decided we were gonna record in another studio I go I'm fucking my mind is free I got no worries about this guy we're not breaking any rules we're not having guests over we're not smoking on the property we're

going out to the street easy peasy I'm there's a weight off of my shoulders that's what we call in the business a false sense of security yes so we're getting the intel from the battlefield that he should have been getting we're sitting there it's 10 15 p.m. and I get it I get an Airbnb message from the host just a reminder smoking isn't allowed thanks now I got a couple in me this guy's been breaking our balls a little bit so I go I'm bulletproof at this point I am proper bulletproof we haven't broken a rule this guy can suck my fucking dick I go I wasn't go hey I understand I just said we haven't smoked

on the property full stop that's it and he goes Kevin enter it's on camera enter it's a non-smoking street because of running Canyon enter that's at 10 25 p.m. at 10 29 p.m. what he had written like a fucking haiku no it's just like Kevin the way I read it Kevin it's on camera it's a non you know he's burst texting yes he's real cunty fucking it's not a paragraph it's like Kevin like dude the fact you address me as Kevin yeah I should have known so I should have known that pussy had my card it's like a printing press I was about to get fucking bamboozled not any point right uh-huh at this point have you thought about

asking your untrained chimp if he was up to any trouble I should have but I did not okay this whole time though you know why I should at this point I feel I shouldn't have to ask because I am reading we're going at one we're going over the texts and what should I say what should I respond am I the untrained chimp correct okay he goes Kevin it's on camera it's a non-smoking street because of running Canyon I go I didn't know I couldn't smoke on the street at this point I'm now jumping back to the rules I'm reading it like a lawyer you know what I mean I go the rules state no smoking in the house or the property so

to respect the said rules we went to the street I apologize it won't happen again at this point I'm being Johnny fucking good guy going I'll go fucking six blocks away to catch a heater if I have to whatever just get out of my hair three minutes goes by that's like 12 heaters yeah there we were cranking them at that point I was drinking 24 ounce PBRs too straight from the can and then the picture that you probably seen shows up T-bone well I'll just play that which could be anybody a shirtless H Foley with I would say about two tree four five back fat rolls which a thousand dollar back fat roll over there he's I I don't

know if the the sakes lit or it's post lip but he's got you reaching into your pocket for the lighter or you're putting it back or I was scratching me bowls neck is also like this it's yeah it's like very the angle he pulled is unbelievable you couldn't have made it better no you just tried to blast him for looking a piece of shit with your ass crack out chicken sandwich fix it in posts bigger bigger I was also I was being a long spec there method actor yeah huh so it just sends me that pig that's no comment no like well then what is this he just fucking hit me with a fucking full house said take that to the bank he

could at least on a funny meme I know something you know and we lost it it was funny the table fell over how funny it was yeah I said it was that amusing what I think it was that amusing well at this point I'm going you could have been like fuck dude you're setting yourself up for potential failure because you did catch a heater on the property in the garage or now on the driveway what you told me you told him that's it we were walking in we got back from the comedy store we're walking inside he goes I'm gonna do one more heater is it cool if I just do it right here I said I don't think so man but it was also one of those moments where

I'm like I don't want to be the fucking cunty Kevin that's like always fucking telling you what to do so I'll go I go hey man I wouldn't the rules say not do you remember doing it honest yeah he does I'm sorry was a question you remember because you don't black out that much no I'm pretty good with that yeah so you remember I remember how many burnies was it I had three burnies out there I had one Bernie I walked outside it ended up costing us about 5g odds I walked outside okay mm-hmm shirtless in your basketball shorts that I don't think you play basketball that day you're bringing on the property value out there you crazy

what if a neighbor walked I think he was racist against fat people that's what I think mm-hmm I walked out I was in the middle of the driveway I lit up a cigarette I had a fucking bottle of water there I asked into that I put it in there had water in it I should buy by middle of the driveway do you mean three feet from the door yeah because this is between the car and the door the cars to your left the doors right here you're in front of the green cam by like a foot I mean I think that depends on what your definition of definition is what what you're what our definition of lying is

fully just had a stroke it's I mean the picture is iconic I do want to talk about that for sure it's like everybody we showed that I showed via text that we showed in person yeah literally dies laughing merch drop is coming oh for sure one hundred percent lunchboxes mm-hmm beer coos he's still got some of them fat ass the flame which I agreed to you don't have a leg to see the toe so see it conceded to see it I don't know yeah as a part of my as a part of my punishment and me taking responsibility for it I also agreed to pay for the over the Airbnb that we're in right now which we had a discussion about that before I

offered you know but you still haven't fucking cash right so he sends my check from work he sends me this picture our like what the fuck now it's like now we're gonna get fucking booted it's now he's photo shopping it's guys at this point you're boxing with this guy and then when he sent that to you it was very funny but he literally hit you with an uppercut done I got I got no fucking now I gotta fucking roll over my tail pulled my tail between my legs and just I gotta beg for forgiveness so he doesn't question is does he think that's you maybe he thought he was talking to that man in whoever that is in the

no he knew I was probably not but he didn't recognize any of us well we'll get to that so I go I apologize I didn't know that happened it won't happen again and then now he shows like a little humanity he goes it's not me the neighbors a house directly in back of my house burned down from the owner's cigarette a month ago I said I come I understand completely is that also with that guy I go I can understand completely I just spoke with him it won't happen again I am very sorry is what I said so I think we're all right at that point you know what I mean like he didn't say and also he's going if you

smoke it's a thousand dollar fine if you you if you walk with your shoes on to five thousand dollar fine this is that so he didn't mention a fine I go okay one see we learned our lesson we're moving forward let's put it all better for it yeah yeah come by let's do brunch mm-hmm also you are evening yes but also at this time at this point I'm getting hit up from Airbnb Airbnb proper motherfucker went to corporate yeah he went straight to corporate about 45 minutes after me and him stopped after the I can understand I'm very sorry it won't happen again this guy's this guy lives for this this is his whole life he's a

loser he's big only is no fucking kids he's not married fucking if he is he's fucking divorced probably a dentist or some prick like that fucking this is all he has he just goes around and he acts like a fucking cunt yeah fucking people from out of town because he's a fucking fish-faced loser with a 3.5 million dollar home that your fat ass is running his balls on yeah whose side do you want comedy side of justice and my $4,000 back I believe I believe that was probably his family home where he inherited that from his from his parents either way I get what you're saying but you've broke the rules and we all suffer

literature so now this is so now I go all right that's like 10 30 10 45 whatever that is I go all right we're that's put to bed I'm sorry he might dig me with a $500 fucking charge on a way out take care of fucking give me two of them I don't give a fuck I'm having a good time we're doing out of here doing the shows meet the fucking army garbage suck my fucking tiny little dick yeah so then Airbnb hits me up hey this is fucking Bob about your host has provided us with information to support their report of smoking at the listing in this case damn he sent the picture to Airbnb the guest standards policy was not followed

it is important to note that if we receive similar reports in the future we may have to take additional action on your account including removal of your account from the Airbnb platform damn ps3 Airbnb employees threw up from this yeah they probably had a real good time at the call center that's floating around a couple email chains right now get a load of the fat fuck it's 17 17 go suck my balls they're trying to rent fullies back for $10 in addition to that the host one of the unregistered guests to be out of the listing and according to him if you violated these house rules your host Kevin has the right to it has

your host Kevin but I think he meant Keith has the right to ask you to leave the listing and he goes hi Kevin my shifts about the end whatever I said where what's going on where you boys at it sounds like your party I said please call me back he goes on forwarding your thing to another team member in the meantime feel free to respond with any questions concerns I go alright it's not it's more like I might get a bad real and infraction on my case or whatever doesn't call me back 735 that next morning that next morning we go home we do we do norms with the gang no that was no we just went home are we just went

home norms was after the show we just go home we hop in a noobs hop in a new back to the crib 735 a.m. I wake up at 7 because I'm on it I'm on New York time you know what I mean I got up there I'm closing deals out early I wake up with the worst hangover anxiety of like is this thing done I've just we were boozing all day we're at the comedy so I'm like did I say something fucking stupid to somebody I pissed my pants what's going on for the record the worst anxiety like riddled and I'm talking to I'm talking to my wife and I'm like hey you know she's like it's okay this happens all the time should I get up and go

jump in the pool I'm like yeah that's what I'll do for the listener flight out of JFK we touched down in San Francisco get there right before the show do the show wake up pack up fucking get to the airport flying the LA acts do the show would fucking the Hollywood improv get up hang out this is where we're at this day this particular morning we have Andrew Santino that we're going to record at 11 o'clock in the morning at 11 o'clock at a studio and then we immediately have to drive three hours down to La Jolla yet to do a packed out show down here at the old gambling store yeah so yeah a lot going on this is a

heavy morning to wake up on right so I go I'm gonna fucking try to shake this hangover fucking curb this anxiety at this point trash the house there's garbage everywhere everybody shits unpack all thrown around yeah because we were like well we're gonna be here for a week or whatever you know let's get comfortable um so this is a new message I get from hi this is whoever I tried calling you was unable to reach you your host has instructed me to advise you that one of your guests have to leave because there are currently two extra unauthorized guests the other one you would be subjected to pay a fee first

of all there's we told we registered we got the house for four people and Toby was hanging out with a friend yeah I was staying with my homie this week staying with your homie so it's like he was like I want to chill with my boy I'm like all right cool so it's just us three we're less people than the registered guests we already have you know what I mean 100% so I go also he goes also he had he wishes for you to stop smoking on the property as a violation it can be in can be immediate cancellation with no refund I said there are no unauthorized guests at the property I booked a stay for four people and there has never been

more than that please call me she goes are you aware there's the host has security cameras I said yes I am I saw that fantastic picture last night she goes I don't know about the fair piece of shit I said there have been no other guests than the people who checked in and met the host she goes okay thanks for sharing how however can I have your commitment on the smoking I said one of the guests smoked in the driveway and he said we can't I apologized for that but that has been the only rule that has been broken they go I totally understand thanks for letting me know I said so where does that leave us with a warning I

don't know what he's talking about with these unauthorized guests then he said sends another photo the attached photo was taken yesterday around 1 p.m. the host want this guest to leave the property and the other guests or you will be required to pay a $500 fine I haven't seen that photo I'll show it to you in a second failure to comply with the cancellation failure to comply will be a cancellation of your reservation based on terms that we have proof of smoking and the host is uncomfortable the cancellation will be no refund this is he sends a picture of fucking t-bone coming over back to the house so he's

backpacking through your I know yeah you have real fucking I got real hostile vibes yes you got real Amazon package package the vibes right now I'm just looking around and run away with boxes I just got chlamydia and La Brea I said he is one of the four guests that's our bozo producing he's one of the four guests on the booking the host met him the other day when we checked in no one has been to the property I totally understand the host said he met with five of you this guy doesn't know what the fuck's going on see that's what's so fucked up about this he goes my role here is to treat you fairly and help you

and your host reach a resolution if you and your host aren't able to come to an agreement I need to come to a decision-based and available information on our policies that's so funny now get the fuck out he says upholding the policies and standards that protect our community very important we're giving the case and its details care for consideration and we've deterred determined that we're going to go ahead and cancel this reservation with no refunds based on the fact you have broken a house rule of smoking in the listing in which we have documentation and the host is uncomfortable and no longer wants to

accommodate you and so I respond with this is crazy weren't smoking in the listing we were smoking around oh my god I said what time I got to be out I got pizza coming lady I just ordered a bacon egg and cheese can I chill for a bit we're fucking weed guys on the way he says he requested for you to leave immediately I said okay I will pack up and leave this is crazy to me I've been using Airbnb as a host and I guess I've never seen anything like this I need to be refunded something we're tanking it out here I ain't got it I was woken up by a knock at my door fully we got kicked out we

got to get out of here he goes all right so what do you want to do for a lot of like lunch he's like I'm like now we got to go now he's like oh we're getting I'm like kicked out doesn't mean you know I thought there was a window like when the cable guys come