Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - PATREON: Hard Feelings - LA Bozos

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

Here is an episode of Hard Feelings w/ Kippy & Foley from the Are You Garbage Patreon Page. Join the Patreon for weekly Hard Feelings and bonus episodes of Are You Garbage. Thanks for watching. Love youse guys. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage

we? Shall we? Waiting on you. Cold sip of refreshing water. I want to squeeze that in your face so fucking bad. What's up motherfuckers? We're back with some mom motherfucking feelings. Gang, welcome back to these fucking feelings. I'm your host Kevin James Ryan with me as always the greatest comedian of all time. Toby McMullin the king of the one liners. Gang, welcome back to heart feelings. I'm your host stage foley this week. Got Kevin James Ryan in the building.

Say hi to the folks out there. Don't try and mop you up. I don't like this. I don't like that you're telling me to do stuff. What's up everybody? Yeah. Oh, I gotta say hi to the fucking homies. Of course. $10 homies. $20 homies. $50 homies. The lifeline. The bloodline. Fucking love these. I'd go to the mattresses for you both. Oh yeah. You got anybody bothering to give us a call. We'll get on and get our asses kicked. I'll get beat up in front of you. Yeah. And a nice quick shout out

to our producer short and air Toby McMullin everybody. What's up? What's up? Good man. Got the new fucking headphones for us. Cleaned up the studio. Real fucking nice. Yeah. Chipped in while we were gone. Good man. Yeah. Fucking fantastic time. We're here. We were out in LA. I was down the shore. We got a lot to cover this week. Sure. A lot of things going on. Probably probably kick it off of me, huh? Yeah. Kick you out of here. Anyway, so me and the cat got real cuddly. Yeah.

Can I play in Fortnite? No. Peach is on its way. No. Shows up. There's no wings. I was like leeching. No. It was Taco Bell and call duty dickhead. I'd say you did it all weekend. Tell you I took that that twitch. I got that thing home. I'm fucking all those switch whatever it's called. Playing at Mario Kart with a pop check in will you? I'm sure that gets all wet. Mario Kart with an old man. Mario Kart. Mario Kart. I play Luigi. Just Luigi. You got a fucking problem? I don't

know what to. You got a fucking problem? Uh-uh. No. You got something to kick things off. You got any beef? I played Wiffleball. Uh somebody get him out of here. Jesus Christ. By yourself. No, I have watched this pop up. You run out and grab it. I got something. Uh you were all pissy with me the one night in the lake as I was CP time. Yeah, I mean he's not good with uh he likes things on his terms. No, that's not the term. We agree to terms and then you just throw those out.

I got tired. Okay. I wanted to let him stay and hang out with his friends over there at the comedy store but my phone was dying. You see how he said you're mad. Let me tell you. Let me control this narrative as to why you were mad. What am I doing? I'm not controlling the narrative. It's the first thing you do after you take out communications. Cut down the fucking cut down the energy supply. You take out a bridge will you? You take out the fuel dumps and start controlling

the narrative. Sure. From your perspective, you were like I want to go home and I was like just wait a half hour or something is what I said. When you're Thai Thai a half hour. Okay, but let's let's beep beep beep. Let's back this up. I don't know about fucking five hours. It's like four o'clock. We're like what do you want to do? We did something during the day. We had a pot or something. We did something during the day. You know, like we both go back to our respective quarters.

It's like at the Tommy Hotel. It's like you guys wish on a monkey paw and they're like we'll give you success but you have to hang out all the time. I know it's not great. No, I love it. But like you know this is just a very fully thing. So it's like four, right? And we go like maybe I think it was even like two. It was like early in the afternoon. We're like let's go fucking shut it down for a couple hours. We did this a couple of times in Los Angeles and it was like we'll go shut it

down for a couple hours. You know, whatever whatever. So like two turns to four for the record. Hang on. Hotel room about thirty two degrees. Yeah, it was chilly. Hang on. Where'd you guys say the Tommy? Not the Thompson. That's how things kicked off. I did drop the ball. I'll give you that. Drop the ball in the hotel but we'll just give the full rundown. We can talk. Hold on. Let me just get this story out before I fucking bam. But I see what you're trying to do. So two turns to four

turns to six. We're supposed to meet Josh Potter, former guest, good old pal at the comedy store for some beers and some burnies. Ain't he's there's no one better to have beers and burnies outside with than Josh Potter. It's a good man. It's a good guy. So we go. He'd be great in a foxhole if he can see the fucking other man. He'd be shooting you and stuff. His eye is a little tweaked. That kid. No, so. I'm hanging out with Daredevil. Just feeling your face. Love you buddy. You foot on

weight. Fucking love you. Salt to the earth. Yeah, he's great. So, I like seven, right? So now it's like nine. Like we got to we got to leave. You figure we're meeting. We agree that we're meeting Potter at nine. Question was like the second day in we were meeting Potter at nine, right? So like. We part ways it to say let's go shut it. Seven rolls around. There was never a definite time. I know but seven. No, nine. No, we said we're gonna meet Potter at nine. Yeah, we're gonna meet Potter at

nine. There was no talk of dinner. I understand but you know, so seven rolls around. I gotta pick and choose on my five hours later. Yeah. So seven rolls around. I got nothing from like, hey, what are we doing? Nothing. A half hour goes by. I know that he's sleeping 730. I'm not like we gotta leave in like an hour, right? Like takes 45 or takes 15. We gotta leave at 830 to get there at nine. I was in a little place called Night Night Town. So then eight rolls around and I go

hey man, I'm I gotta get out of this fucking hotel room now. Like I'm like, I'm tired or we're jet lagged around. Like I gotta fuck. I'm gonna get moving here. So I'm like, he was crawling the walls the whole trip. He's texting me at five in the morning and I can't sleep. What do you do? I never did that. I mean pancakes. What do you think I'm doing? It's five o'clock and I'm warming. Texted you at five a.m. Yeah, you're six. Hey, I'm going for a while. I'll show you the text. I

said I'm going to 711. Do you need anything? Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry to do my friend a favor. But it was early. Yeah, so you were all so up. Yeah. Yeah. So what's your point? I mean, when I was going back to bed. Yeah. So dude, eight o'clock nothing like radio silent to the point where it's like 845 and he's like, where are you at? And I'm like, what? Are we still meeting at nine? You had a real two. We'll just woke up to he went and had dinner alone. What else am I going to do? You

threw traveling salesman. You threw out an okay in the group text yesterday, by the way, that made me want to me. Full. Yeah, I don't do okay. Made me want to throw you off of a bridge. Okay. The never do it. He just did it again. And most condescending shit. Okay. Yeah. What was the okay for? You were like, we were like, do you want to record it too? And I was like, yeah, sounds great. And then you were like, okay. Yeah, okay. That

sounds good. No, it wasn't okay. That sounds good. I think hold on. I've done no okays or okay. Hold on. Hold on. I've done a lot of now we're now we're canceling okays. Okay. All right. I've done a lot of research on a lot of thought on his language that he uses and psychology of a bad man fucking sucks. And the problem is sometimes he does just mean okay, okay, sounds good. Right. But he also the thing is he also uses okay as a weapon. Yes, I'm fucking snubbing you,

which so when you do get it, you're he's fucking condition you to be like this fucking cocksucker is a jerk off because he does know how to use it. It ruined my day. Yeah, he does know how to use it to really piss you off. Yes. You're also the only guy I know that like tries to piss people off like that, which is crazy. I've thought about that. I don't think so. Okay, we just said, we just said you do that. Okay. You also send some sometimes we've been over this I sent dot dots once and that was

during a war. I know you're the only one you start the war that we're in a war. And I get yelled at for being for screaming at you. You gotta do something to push the stock market up. You know what I mean? A little rattling hum kind of treat. Learn you how to do fucking Sudoku puzzles. Get a wag the dog a little bit. So it's 15 minutes till meet up. And this guy's talking about a lobby call, which obviously would have been at least eight. But it was seven something and let's meet up

have a Bernie a coffee. You want to go get a bus? Anything? But then he's like, are we still meet? It's like, I'm the bad guy for him sleeping till nine. Like I was okay with sleeping till nine. I was upset that you were by yourself for a little bit. That was because of you had to have dinner alone. Also, I went to the worst fucking dude. I've never seen so much bad service. We fit in like fucking two, two screws on a peg or whatever it is over there. What look like bozos where he and him trying to

hit the rooftop bar and fucking this swanky place on the Hollywood sign. Yikes. Yeah, we were like a couple of caps. I know. That's how you literally went over to the corner where nobody was like back behind like the service elevator. I think we need it was a picture of a missing girl. Yeah, we would have been fucking. It was it was that we were not two cool guys on a rooftop bar. See this girl around anywhere. Yeah, that how I got heckled at the rooftop bar. I say that we were in there.

Where I was last time we were. Yeah, what I was I was walk we leave in the pool. I had a towel around my shoulders. No shirt and some guy who worked at the you got to walk through the restaurant to get to the elevator to get down to the room. Oh, that's bad. And a guy walks by works at the restaurant and goes stripes are in this year doing good. Good buddy. I was like, God damn the rights. But we did have a good. We did have a good hang all and all. No, no even a wait. So what happened

with the A45? No, he finally just shows up and then we go then we get to the comedy store. It's about pen at this point. So we've been there an hour. The whole gang's there Gill is fucking Jeremiah Watkins or old pal John McEuver haven't seen in years. John Nunn. I read Morales fucking the whole fucking gag was they're all hang Jeremiah. I said Jeremiah. Yeah, he was also there. And you know who's on stage Jeremiah. You know who's on stage? Sebastian. They had

the window open. I can see the stars. He was dude. He was sitting there like he belonged on a fucking star tour like on a bus. He's gone. He's right there. I see him. He's right down like fucking act like you've been here before. Real tight fit. Nice sweater fit perfectly expensive jeans. Hair was perfect. He was in there. But sometimes when you over nap, the nap stays with you and you're CP. So I started getting CP here. So I said, Hey, I want to get out of here.

Problem was my phone was at 5%. So he's going. I want to get out of here. I go. Can you get me an Uber? He goes get me an Uber. It's all going to the same card. It's not like you're paying for the Uber. It's not that big of a deal. I know but this is the thing you go. We go to a place together. I meet up with you late. You ice me all day on a hang because you're you're napping which is fine. Then we link up. It's nine o'clock. We go somewhere four an hour and then you're like I want to go

and I'm like just fucking hang for like a half hour like we just got here. But what was wrong with you just taking a car later on and you doing your thing and me doing my thing? Yeah, I'm sure which was fine. I said, yeah, call a car but then he goes but this is the that's where the iris just function comes out. I can't even take a I can't he can't even get himself a car. We were fighting like a couple. He goes I want to go home. I go then go and he goes, can you get me

to leave together? Yeah, just wait. It's a half hour. Half hour at a wait. That turned into 45 minutes. So sorry. We got back there but well your hour nap turned into five hours and iced me. I was alone. I could have been taken by a pack of homeless people out there. They're all over the streets man. I went to a seven eleven at fucking six a.m. I almost turned around twice. It was a block away. It was that fucking wacko out there. But when we got there, it was all glitz and

glamour. We get there. The flight's coming in late. We go straight to the Beverly Hills Hotel. Clasey joint to meet Mr. Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon and Mr. Ben was also there. Shut up Ben. Ben's a sweet. Tall drink of water, tight jeans, fucking nice blazer. It looked like he's running the whole coast. It's fucking sharp. Uh huh. Um we meet them there. They're a couple minutes late. He says, go downstairs to the cafe, cabana, next to the pool. Also, first of all, we have to

we're so we're coming straight from the airport. We have our luggage. We have to check our luggage at the hotel that we're not staying at. It's a different world. It's not like just going to like a nice hotel. It's it's completely different. I've never I've never experienced anything. Everybody was smoking hot. Everybody but just cars pulling up the fucking hot broods. We get dropped off and then we don't even get like he stops like there was like a little traffic at the valet so

we get out like, you know, I don't know. See the whole scene and so we're like step back like we're like by the parking lot a little bit. Just smoking. We got our luggage, you know what I mean? It's just like I got my CPAP machine. He's got a CPAP machine in his hand. It's a bad look. Those people are just like, so what radio station did you win these tickets from? Yes. It looked like yes. Y'all do laundry. Looks like we got in the wrong Uber and we got dropped off there. Yeah. Well,

we actually won the showcase showdown. We got a week at the world famous Beverly Hills Hotel. We're off to Acapoco tomorrow.