Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Paul Reiser!

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

Are You Garbage Podcast interviews actor & comedian Paul Reiser! You know Paul Reiser from stand up comedy, Saturday Night Live, Hiking with Kevin Nealon, The Tonight Show, The Kelly Clarkson Show, Good Morning America, Conan and much more! Make sure to check out his new film "The Problem with People". Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Chubbies: https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Bombas: https://bombas.com/ayg with code AYG Mando: https://shopmando.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New York City, New York, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and Connecticut, the boys are coming for Are You Garbage? And friends, that's how we bring some of our favorite guests to answer your garbage questions. Yeah, November 8th, we're going to be in New York City, New York, then Philly. We're going to be on November 13th at Helium Comedy Club. Then November 22nd, Stanford, Connecticut. All tickets available. Are you garbage dot com will see you there. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage?

The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's good to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in the new edition. We sent her away. I got her out of the house. I told her we were bombing for fleas. Okay. If she found out who we had in here, she'd be running around in a negligee

We can't have that. She'd be all over him. My co-host is coming at you right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan everybody Hey, what up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. full video available on YouTube then obviously the greatest website of all time WWW.patreon.com slash are you garbage love that money gang? Yes, sir and gang We could not be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean Incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time He is a legendary stand-up comedian actor writer and producer and you might have seen him in but not limited to

comedian, actor, writer and producer. And you might have seen him in, but not limited to you got diner. You got Beverly Hills Cop Aliens, Beverly Hills Cop to 60 episodes of My Two Dads. Mr. Right, the story of us one night at McCool's curb your enthusiasm. Funny people whiplash life after Beth war on everyone. The Book of Love. You got 23 episode of Red Oaks. You got the Romanoffs you get the Kaminsky method fatherhood the boys 19 episode of stranger things Beverly Hills cop Axel F. And what am I forgetting? Oh, yeah 173 episodes of the worldwide

Sensation that is mad about you as far as personal appearances. I mean, he's done literally everything. You got the Merv Griffin show. You got the Merv Griffin show. What are we doing here? You got 22 episodes of the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. 21 episodes of Tonight Show with Jay Leno. You got 12 episodes of Late Night with David Letterman. His literary work includes How to Get to Carnegie Hall,

Family Hood, Baby Hood, Couple Hood. I mean, we're talking Golden Globe nominations, His literally work includes how to get to Carnegie Hall familyhood babyhood couplehood I mean we're talking Golden Globe nominations Emmy nominations stand-up specials out on a whim Three and a half blocks from home life death and rice pudding and the word on the street He's coming back to the boys and stranger things and he's got a date in Vegas in November The guy's a worker and he's got a brand new movie out right now The problem with people out on all digital platforms and in Theaters and it's absolutely fantastic. Give it up for a true American icon. Mr. Paul riser Look at you. I'm exhausted

You should be you're doing shows in Vegas. What are you not? Just listening to you? But now by the way, you didn't mention I did the John Davidson show once. I also left off that episode of Remington Steel that you did. Oh, good move. There were literally five things you mentioned there. I went, I don't even know what that is. That guy's been working for 60 years. Wow. But then they changed the name in a movie and go, hey, okay, anyway. But thank you. Nice to be here with you guys. Buddy. This is amazing.

It's an honor. I will tell you something, and I say this sincerely, this is the most brightly lit Thank you. and the loudest experience I've ever had. Thank you. As a New York City comedian, I mean, it's a true honor to sit down with you, brother.

It's nice to be with you fellas. Thank you. Whose name I don't remember. Whatever the hell it is. Kenny and Harry, good to see you guys. It's nice to be with you fellas Whose name I don't remember Kenny and Harry good to see you guys Give us the origin story of Paul riser. You're a New York kid. I grew up here not not far from here at all I grew up in in downtown Manhattan in a little area called Stuyvesant town of yours. Do you know it? Yeah, and it's which was which was that nice because it was like it was like a complex

So like there were trees and little parks in the middle and stuff. Yeah, we're in sty town. That's crazy I did and and the rent was wildly cheap. It was like That was something is 50 years ago, but we had like five we had five bedrooms. I think we paid three hundred forty Yeah, cuz that was government issues. Yeah, it was at the time. GIs or something, right? It was built and the GIs had, returning vets from World War II had priority.

So my dad got out of the war and he was given priority. So they moved in there. And yeah, I grew up there. It was nice. And so I grew up in the city. I didn't know, I didn't know about suburbs till much later. I went, whoa, wait a second. This guy's got long.

Not everything is vertical? I had no idea. But years later when I took my kids and they were little, we came to New York and I took them, I see Stuyvesant, my kid was five, and he goes, so this was all yours? He thought it was all yours. I go, no, no, just that one window.

That one window. But you know, it always has stayed with me, and someday I wanna write a show, I always love the, I would sit out on the bench and I would just look up and you'd see, like in the evening when lights are on, and you'd see lives going on. So many little pockets of lives.

Yeah, it's like, they have no idea what's below them, next to them, and you could see it, they don't I love each other. Yeah, it's like they have no idea what's below them next to them. And you could see it. There's they don't even know each other. I was fascinated by just how close we are. And yet and so far away, right? Separated for the folks that don't know. Stuyvesant is a it's a legendary apartment complex in New York.

And in the early 2000s, when I was up here, everybody before they sold them or whatever, everybody who had had that legacy whose grandmother lived in there They were grandfathered in there. Yeah, and they would try and they would try to be like I'm living in sty town for 300 bucks a month Well, it's not it's a beautiful. Yeah, but they're not cheap anymore. No, they jumped up. Yeah, but uh, yeah So was the neighbor how was the neighborhood back then it was that was sort of like a little oasis Of in the East Village. Yeah, and then like right around it, it was less good. One way to put it. But what'd your dad do? My dad had a a whole wholesale food business, health foods. And people go, so he was like a health nut. No,

but he just had to make a buck. Yeah, no, was smart. Not for years, and I have such respect for him. He started the company before the war, like 1939, just because somebody came to him and he knew nothing about foods. He was a chemist by trade. He went to school for chemical engineering, tried his hand at that. Somebody said, why don't you make this, there's people who buy foods that have no salt or sugar in it. All we could we could see but it wasn't it wasn't cool or good and then he started then he got drafted what in the war branch of service was

Ian he was he is in the army yeah sergeant he was and but, and actually, all stories here. So my mom graduated college, went to an interview for her first job. Her first job interview was as a, I guess, secretary or whatever, office, help person at that office. Met my father there. Then my father was drafted and my mom was, they weren't even married yet,

but she was sort of running the business while he was away. No kidding. And they got married, he was in uniform. Wow. And I wrote a movie 15, 20 years ago, I did with Peter Falk, it was called The Thing About My Folks,

and it was sort of trying to understand my parents. And so I used as much biographical stuff that, cause mom I remember we talking about we talked about the World's Fair there's a book there's a book called the World's Fair 1939 World's Fair and my mother said oh you know I was gonna go to that I had a date I was gonna go with a guide to the World's Fair 1939. It's the one in Queens we're talking about? Yeah well there was also the same one same same site in 1964, which I went to, but this 20 year, whatever, years early, or 30 years early, and she just said this story

where she goes, yeah, I was gonna go to the World's Fair with this fella I was seeing, but my mother thought I should, I was out of college for three weeks, I should get a job, so I went and I interviewed, and I met your dad and I worked at that company. She took a beat and she said, yeah, I never got to the World's Fair.

Oh, and I just, that's what life is, you took a beat, and she said, yeah, I never got to the World's Fair. I don't know. Oh, that's, and I just, that's what life is. You took a turn, you walked into the office, you met this guy, got married, raised four kids, never got to the World's Fair. So if you see the movie, you know, I just thought that was so, I said a heart tugger. And so the end, I don't wanna give away the movie,

but if you ever can find the movie, Peter Falk finally makes good and he takes it to the World's Fair, but if you ever can find the movie, Peter Falk finally makes good and he takes it to the World's Fair and it's the Remnants and he says, it's been closed 50, 60 years. He said, so a lot of the rides aren't open anymore. Thought there'd be more foot traffic. Yeah, he goes, on a plus plus side there were no lines That's great man, so four kids, how are you in school? You a good student and were you going to New York City public school system? Were you a private school?

I went I went I went to Stuyvesant high school. I was and I went to a private school before I was I was okay I was you know, I don't think I worked that hard, but I was I was good and I was I I was okay, I was, you know, I don't think I worked that hard, but I was good. And I was like the funny guy, but I liked performing. And I look back and there's the origin. Like you'd have like third grade, fourth grade, you'd have to write a composition and you didn't have to read them in front of the class? You could. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'll go, Paul's up there again. But I'll tell you what, I'll tell you. It was crowd work. But I remember, and I think about this now, this is where my career went off track. I would always try and play the back of the room. I would put an inside joke that only two of the 20 kids would get.

That's a comic right there. And I look back and I go, asshole, why don't you get everybody to laugh? No, if I can get Joel to laugh, that's. That's a comics comic. Not one of those third grade hacks. I'm up there doing comics comics. No props.

It's all verbal. When you're up there bombing, but your three buddies in the back are dying, you're like, we're on to something here. And then when I was in high school, and I went to Stuyvesant High School, which is a pretty good school, and I met a buddy of mine that you may know, Billy Grundfest.

I don't even know his name. So he created the Comedy Cellar. He was the first guy who did the Comedy Grundfest. I don't know his name. Yeah, he created the comedy He was the first guy. Oh, yeah, but it was just a restaurant. Yeah. Yeah, he opened that and he's so we met in high school he was a We were 13 and like we instantly just and we were in the same home room and we both went Oh this guy's good. I like this guy. You know Mel Brooks. I don't know bro. You know Bill Cosby records, you know Okay, so we we glom, why was I saying that? Oh, so they had a thing, they developed,

well we were there like, we were like sophomores, they created a thing called students, I don't know, whatever it was, like three days before Easter break, the kids, you could create a class that you would teach. So whatever your interest was, I forgot what they called it, like, I don't know. But so like one kid would have a chess club,

one kid would have, you know, football, one guy would, whatever, and Billy and I taught a comedy class. So first it would be like, you know, four idiots like us. And we just, but we created a curriculum. It was like, well, here's this, the monologist. Knock, knock jokes 101. Yeah, no, but we created a curriculum. It's like we all here's this. Monologist knock knock jokes 101. Yeah. No, well, like and then but we play the records and then really and then next class next year we'd had you know a bigger class, you know, big and big so but we were students.

We were really students and and he was much more academic about it and and breaking it down and you know, we play some obscure comics that other people wouldn't know. But then here's some crowd favorites. Here's some George Carlin, here's some Robert Klein, here's some Monty Python. And we knew that in class, we would try and get laughs.

And I would always try and get the Billy laugh, play in the back of the room. I would just get Billy to laugh. And we knew, and I said, we realized this, if you're too funny, they're going to throw you out. Sure. So you gotta be either super funny that the teacher laughs too. And that happened a couple of times.

Like, yeah, all right, rise Billy. That's pretty good. I'll give you that one. You get the future, that's all right. But we still talk about, I mean, we've been friends for whatever the 56, 50 years or something, and we still talk about we've been friends for whatever the 50 60 50 years or something And we still talk about this the ultimate Inside joke so we so we used to do this we used to have we would have a class like Seventh period and we'd find we had biology like seventh period and we'd over lunch in fifth period

We've talked to the kids who had the same class earlier And we find out what are they talking about today, and then we plan the jokes. Your guys are having writing sessions? We're writing, but- It's like writing monologue. That's like day to day, yeah. We're prepping. Give me 50 jokes on the mitochondria stat.

So when they go, female reproductive system, go, whoa, here we go. Get out your pencils, boys, we're ready. I said, that's not a uterus. Huh, am I right? Bombing. Try to keep up. Find my keys, we'll drive out. OK, good night, everybody.

So one day, it was about anatomy and a skeleton. And we knew that she was going to bring in a skeleton. So the joke we prepared that when they pull in a skeleton, right before that, I'm going'm gonna go ladies and gentlemen red skeleton That'll be a laugh. Uh-huh, but because I'm an asshole And I wanted Billy to laugh and he knew that was what was coming They bring out the skeleton I go ladies and gentlemen red buttons And he cracked which makes no sense

It only makes sense if you knew what I was supposed to say. Sure. And in that moment I said, I'll never play the big rooms. Because I just want to make the band left. I know that feeling, you're like, I shouldn't say this but I gotta say it. I gotta because one guy will laugh. Yeah. Yeah. That's my career, dude. We gotta stay on comedy a little bit here.

We definitely don't talk comedy but I mean, you're sitting here. So here's a story. Yeah. Do you know George Collin was in my house when I was 16. Why? Never figured it out. Probably. He was looking for, so here's the story.

And I never met him, but during the Mad About You years, he called me for something. And I, oh, I know what it was. I wanted to tell this story on Letterman, and I said, but I had to clear it with him. So the story was, so I have three older sisters. The sister right above me was three years older than me, is three years older than me. She was in college and she had a radio show and somehow she had gotten George Carlin

to agree to an interview. It's a long story. So they had an interview, and this was 72, and he was really hot, and we had just seen him at the Palace Theater, he was as hot as you could be. He was playing like eight nights in a row. My ride is here. All right.

So they were supposed to meet and he said, you know, my wife is in a hotel. She's not feeling well. You know, I can come to you. All right. So he comes to our house to do the interview. It was the answer. I wasn't home.

I was out getting driving lessons at driving with like four other idiots, like 16, getting our license. And my father picks me up and I was a huge George Carlin fan. Did you know that this was happening? No, I had no idea. So my father goes, guess who's in the house? I said, Aunt Rose, Uncle Eddie.

He says, George Carlin. What do you mean? He goes, George Carlin's in the house. I go, get the fuck. I open the door to the apartment and I hear the toilet flush. I said, George Collins took a dump in my house. Oh my God.

How lucky am I? So I'll try and connect. So anyway, and I found the tape recently. My sister was taping everything. So she did a whole interview like in the kitchen. And then my parents were like wanting to eat breakfast. Like, okay, so they go into a back bedroom. Sounds dirty, it's not.

Did a really terrific interview generous maybe total two hours talking now he sits down and at the kitchen table I gotta go he says I gotta go and my parents go because Jewish parents now you're sitting you'll have something to eat we're having lox and big all right I can't so now he's calling his way honey I'm gonna be a little late I'm happy Jewish family very nice. I can't not done She's there a long time. He says I should really get going Wait, my father says where you're going. He says I gotta go uptown. My father goes what are you going uptown for? George calling goes yeah, I gotta buy a camera. My father goes don't go down up to I'll take it down to I got a guy

I got a camera. My father goes, don't go down, up to, I'll take you down. I got a guy, I got a guy. I got a guy, I got a guy. George go, you don't have, no, we're gonna, puts him in the car. Now I'm in the car and I'm driving. People are looking at the cars. George, it was huge. And I'm going, I'm in the back going, George Collins. Drops him off at this place.

He goes, hey, hello, you take care of this George Collins from television, you get him a camera. Cut to. I got George here. I got George, then we leave him there. Cut to a year later, my sister does a follow upup interview. She says I don't if you remember he goes. Oh, I remember He said I was on my way uptown to score some coke And my father

Camera Yeah, so Judd Aperture when when they did the doc on George Carlin, said, you know, I have a tape you might want. So you use a little tiny piece of it. That's so funny. But he was so generous and thoughtful and philosophical. That's amazing. Yeah.

But that was like one step below the Beatles being in my house. Yeah, George Carlin. At that time, yeah. And he had breakfast with yous? Against his will. Wasn't lox and bagels, is that what you served him? I can only remember that, yeah. That's crazy.

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you wanted to get into the entertainment industry. I you know, I, I was drawn to it. I didn't, I don't think at 15, you think in my career at all. And in my head, I was, you know, I assumed I would go into my dad's business and because it was a successful at that point. I was saying before, like it was, it was, it was no reason to get into that health foods in 1939. And I don't think he, they made money.

I mean, I think he was covering his, you know his you know expenses stuff but it wasn't so 18 years later 20 years later like oh actually they kind of took or yeah so I was my high school is there you know listening to George Carlin and Bill Cosby and Mel Brooks that was another huge one have you thought about doing stand-up at this point or you're like I love it I wasn't thinking about doing anything my extent of it was we're gonna teach we're gonna share with other idiots who like this stuff and we would go and Billy and I we went to see Carlin before that we had seen him and like at the by the village you know at the was called the other end I think was like and Robert the bitter end the

bitter end yeah bitter was big room there was another one called the other end I don't know which one was but they were like 140 seat, you know, clubs. And I remember thinking, I wanna do that, but I didn't know. Yeah, they'll howl or anything, yeah. Right, cut to just a couple of years later, 73, I mean, first year of college, and Catch a Rising Star is on the map.

And you know that because Gabe Kaplan, David Brenner, Jimmy Walker, Freddie Prinze were huge stars and like, oh they all came from that club. They all had the same story. They go to that club with the improv. So suddenly there was a game plan. There was a blueprint. If you go to these clubs, whatever that means,

then you leave with a road map So freshman year college 73. I'm 18 I guess you went to Binghamton right Binghamton University State University, New York and me too And I went to audition night, you know, and I got number 20 so I'm on at 2 in the morning was a catch a catch and So there'd be a couple of like the regul regulars were Richard Lewis, Elaine Boozler, David Say, you know. Crazy.

Those were the, and they were already on their way out. They're doing spots. And then you go out at the end. But they were like starting to do TV, Merv Griffin. And then, you know, a couple of auditions. And it was terrible. You know, I had five minutes, shit that, I was doing shit that Billy and I wrote in the lunchroom.

The red buttons fit. I knew the red button. You're dragging that Billy and I wrote in the lunchroom. The red buttons bit? I knew the red button. You're dragging the skeleton on stage? We had bad stuff, but what I remember is I'd go after, I only did it once, five minutes one time, and I go back to school sophomore year, what'd you do this summer? I go, I was a comedian.

Yeah, I kinda did the same thing. And I realized saying it, I I go I think I like this So the next year I did it twice The next summer I did well, I'm pretty much a professional at this point No, I didn't think that at all, but I just thought I was just going to it Mm-hmm, and then when I graduated I just want to keep doing it And I remember there was a like a year or two that my dad was gonna look take a year get it out of your system That's very nice. Yeah, year get it out of your system That's very nice that yeah, yeah, get it out of your system

and then you know and when the year was up I kept like and then I You know had this really Come to Jesus moment where I really had to say well What do I want to do and for me was really emotional cuz like I didn't want to let my dad down It's like and I know he had really wanted me to cut. And I just thought, I'm not going to be happy if I don't. I don't want to be the guy. And so all the guys that we know now, we were all starting out.

I said, I don't want to be the guy at 40, 50. The guy who used to do shows with him. Yeah, should that guy, Jerry Seinfeld? Yeah, I know him. I was funnier than him. That's going to be. Wasn't I more funnier than him? I'm just saying. I'm just saying. No, but like I said. The guy that beat Jordan once That's going to be... Wasn't ever funnier than that. I'm just saying.

I'm just saying. No, but like... The guy that beat Jordan one time. I want to be on this side of the line, not that side of the line. Of course you are. So that was a... Within that year, were you making any headway? Like even in the club, just like, oh, I'm getting a better spot or I'm starting to figure

it out. You were just running around the city doing spots at the different clubs. Yeah. But yeah, and at the time, probably just the comic strip, probably just the one club, and I can't even remember, maybe a couple of little ones here and there. And I loved it, and I remember, you might have the same memory,

but on a good night, you do well, and you go, oh, that's addictive. It's the best, I can't wait to do that again. And then on a bad night, I go, boy, that was horrible. I can't wait to get back on tomorrow and do better. So I said, wait a second, so good and bad are all leading to the same. Back to it.

I think this is for me. And so, and then once I did it, then I just, and I remember explaining to my father, I said, listen, I don't expect to be a success tomorrow. But just like, you started your business and it took you a long time. Took you 18 years. It's 18 years, it's gonna take my,

and so he kinda understood like, okay, and plus you realize as a parent at some point you go, all right, whatever. You gotta do what you gotta do. Do what you gotta do. I can't, you know, and he was then, after the first couple days, he was supportive, and you know, and he, I remember you said.

Did he get to see the? Yeah, he saw me on Carson's. He saw a diner. Yeah, so And of course, you know when I did Carson I goes you saw he goes. Yeah Johnny seemed to like it What But but that was the currency like cuz like you say your kids a comedian like has he done a tonight show That's the only course. Yeah, and so when he's not only that I do it But Johnny, you know gave it a, but Johnny gave the thumbs up. Gave him the thumbs up, like he went,

I guess he's off and running. So he was proud and it was great. But, you know, but anyway, I had to sort of explain it that I really didn't anticipate being, I'm taking this as seriously as you took your business. I'm gonna work at this and blah, blah, blah. But ironically, it ended up much more accelerated. I didn't really break as a comic.

Like I couldn't, so I was, I was 79, and then I was working and I was doing clubs and I was on the road and whatever. Then the 80s hit. Yeah, but I didn't, I still was not, I didn't get on a Tonight Show. I only got on the Tonight Show the first time because Diner came out.

So I was like, oh, here's a kid kid he's an actor and there's a little bit of a novelty I mean I literally had like been rejected I wasn't no I didn't pass whatever the audition was to get on the tonight show but now you got a movie okay how did that come about how did that twist go were you did you get an agent or going out no no that was I've told this story many times but not to you because you're young. No, that was literally total accident. Another buddy, very funny comedian, who's no longer with us, Michael Hampton Kane,

was auditioning. And Diner, they were looking for, they had five guys and they were looking for the six. And Barry Levinson, the director said, it'll be a funny guy, I don't know who it is. And we couldn't have been more different. Michael Hampton Cain was tall, Irish Catholic kid, bounced out of the seminary.

So we were going. We were going to go have lunch. And I actually remember, I said, I'm going on the road next week. I got to go buy some socks. I'm going to go to Macy's. I might have heard this story. The socks just clicked. I might have heard this. I'm going to go buy socks. The socks just clicked in. I might have heard this.

I'm gonna go buy socks. So he goes, well, I gotta go drop a picture at this office, we'll go and then we'll have lunch. Okay, so I was sitting in the waiting room waiting for him. He goes in, does his thing, come out and the casting director says, okay, you're next. I was, no, I'm just waiting for my friend.

And I tried to beg off. I'm just getting socks. You're getting socks. I'm going on a road. Yeah, he said, do you have a picture? I said, no, but leave me. I'm just getting socks. I'm going on a road. Yeah, she said, do you have a picture? I said, no, but leave me. At home I have a picture, but no, I come back tomorrow and meet the director.

So we walked out, I got the socks. And the next day, I go and I meet Barry Levinson. That's crazy. Then I go to Florida to the comic strip and I get a call at the club because there's no phone in the house, the stupid condo. And it's the producer saying we'd like you to come to Baltimore in ten days and be in this movie. Wow. Do you have any you know when

you you want an actor for movie you got to make sure they're not don't have any other they're not working they don't have any conflicts he goes you have any schedule conflicts and I said I have a gig in Jersey. I might be able to get out of it. Middle of March, $75, I could get out of it. But Lou, I thought, is that what you mean? And the next thing I know I'm in Baltimore. So the joke was like all the other comics were saying, we'd like to go buy socks with Ryza. It seems to be the road to success.

It seems to be the golden touch. Exactly. Holy shit. So were you living at your parents' house? No, no, in 79 when I made that break with my dad, I said, you know, then I moved into the city. They were in Jersey. I grew up in the city.

They had moved, when I was really like the end of high school, they moved to New Jersey. Okay. So I was there for whatever, during college. And then the year or so afterwards. And then, you know, when I made that break, I said, well, okay, now I moved into the city and got my own little shitty apartment. And then I would hate if my kids lived in that.

Yeah, of course. They'll go like, oh, no, no, no, you can do better than that. But that was, you know, and it was, it was all golden. It was like, you know, I wasn't making much money, but I was covering. It's the lifestyle. I was covering. Yeah. I mean. You're paying your bill. You're paying your New York City rent. Waking up late, I'm paying my New money, but I was the lifestyle. I was covering. Yeah. I mean, you're paying your bill. You're paying your waking up late.

I'm paying my New York City rent, which was nothing. Looking back, I'm hanging out with funny people at night, meeting girls, having drinks at the bar. I'm going, this is this is awesome. This is really good. How how quick was the switch after diner? Was it like, oh, shit, this is this is my life now or no not quite yet well I I mean I was that that felt like you know icing on

the cake it's like I got a movie I didn't expect you know I was really just wanted to do tonight you wanted to do all those you know be a comedian that's like I just want to be these guys and but because Diana was such a well-received hit suddenly when I go out to California I don't even know why I went I remember just staying a Larry Miller's couch and I guess to meet agents or whatever Larry Miller's couch is just not not a clean couch. Hey, you think you're better than me, huh? But you know, I would meet casting directors or go up for auditions, I think, and like, oh, that's the guy who's in Diner, not on the poster.

That's the guy. But you know, oh, we never heard of this guy. So that was an opening calling card. So it wasn't like overnight I was doing great, but that opened the door. So because Marty Brest had seen Diner, he gave me, what was it? Yeah, he did Beverly Hills Cop. So I got that little part.

Because that little part in Beverly Hills Cop, which was two scenes, Jim Cameron years later went, I think that kid would be good. Aliens. And there you go. And then- It's nuts. Jim Cameron went, that kid would be good.

Well, you know what I found? That's what I thought. Slept on his couch. That's what I, yeah. That's what I thought. And then just recently, I bumped into my agent who had been my agent back then. And I never knew that.

She goes, you know, I got you aliens. I said, I never knew that she goes, yeah, cause I was friends with Jim Cameron and he was doing aliens and I suggested you. And so all I had heard that he had seen the diner in Beverly Hills cop didn't realize, oh, cause she said, would you please show it? Sure.

So, but that has led, you know, that's led to things. So I can look back and connect those and goes, this led to that, but it's never the next day. You know, and as a comic, all these acting gigs were icing on the cake. It's like, am I done with this shit? OK, I got to go back. So are you still working?

You're still hitting the road? You're still touring? You're still working? So I never, ever felt like an out of work actor, because I was like, that was not the main thing. And I would go and I'd do, you know, chuckles in Columbus, Ohio, whatever, Ohio. It's a good club One thing we always ask especially with you know more successful people

What the first like pretty big check that was like not just like covering expenses where you're like, okay There's some extra cash here. Have you made did you make any stupid purchase? We're like, I didn't need that No wave runner or that hot tub or that no, but I I remember extra cashier? Did you make any stupid purchase where you're like, I didn't need that wave runner or that hot tub or that? No, but I remember. Was My Two Dads the game changer of, oh shit? Well, I mean, yeah, because it was a show, but it was like, I was never happy being on. I didn't...

Okay, I told this story to my manager who says, that's the best show business story I've ever heard. Hit me. Well, it's just so stupid. Okay, I told this story to my manager who says that's the best show business story I've ever heard hit me Well, it's just so stupid it was April of 80s I Guess was after Yeah, I must have been after aliens. So I But I would and I guess I mean I wasn't stupid money, you know, I never had stupid money, but I

Was getting down my bank account was getting down low. I went, I'm not going to starve, but I should probably do something. Larry Miller's. Yeah, by Larry Miller's couch. And so I auditioned for this, what was became my two debts didn't have a name. And I met the producers and nice guy. And he said, you know, you could do either one of these roles, whatever you I went, I don't know, maybe this guy will be fun. And I did the pilot because I wasn't going to get a check, but it wasn't a lot. But it was enough to keep me going for a couple months. So I said, yeah, all right, I'll do this. I don't want to do this and it's never going to go.

I do it. And like two months later, I get a call from my manager, he goes, you got to go to New York tomorrow, the up front. I said, what was that? He goes, that show, they picked up the show. I said, what show? You see, with the two fathers. That stupid the up front. I said, what was that? He goes, that show, they picked up the show. I said, what show? You see, with the two fathers. That stupid thing I show?

I said, that? That's a show? So, I mean, and I don't mean to belittle, I have great people who worked on it, and I have a lot of dear friends from that, but I didn't mean to. It wasn't a passion project for you at the moment. I didn't mean to do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I was kinda eager, I was resistant,. I didn't mean to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was kind of eager. I was resistant. I really didn't want to, and I just, but because of those, whatever, 60 episodes, I learned what television, how to do it, and I really learned what I don't want to do. So that was 87, I think, to 90 maybe.

It's crazy. Right around then, somebody from one of the studios said, you know, we'd like you to, oh, you saw me at the improv? Yeah, and he said, you know, you should develop something for yourself. We'd like you to write a show. And I remember saying,

I didn't love doing that multi-canon. I don't know that I'd wanna do that. And he says, well, write whatever, what would you wanna do? And I said, well, I said, and at the time, my wife now, but then my girlfriend, I'd just moved out and we're living together. And that's when my comedy started getting better.

I went, oh, now I got something I can talk about. I talk about it, it's not just silly. It's like, oh, this seems to have some meat on the bones. This is coming from a real true place. So I said, you know, if I would do anything, it would be about the relationship stuff. I guess I was married. We had just been married, yeah.

And so I said, if I wanted to do a show, it would be really like that small, just like a married couple, like the stupid fights and arguments and silliness. He goes, write that. And that became mad about you. So in a way, I certainly learned from my two dads how what works, what doesn't work,

and what I wanna do and what I don't wanna do. I said I'd rather not do a show that people say, oh, my eight-year-old niece likes that. I'd like to do a show that my friend go, oh, we watch that. Yeah. Okay. So that, if anything, that was a real big game changer because it was coming from a true place, it was a hit,

and it was something I was proud of, and it was something that I jumped into fully. I mean, that was a 24-7, 12-month thing. I had heard that you wanted to do, I don't know if this is true or not, but you wanted to do a show about a couple, not at the party, but then on the way home from the party.

That's how we pitched it. Which is genius. He quotes that all the time. All the time. Yeah, well, we're going to, actually at the time, the thumbnail pitch of the show was 30-something, but shorter and funnier. But it's like that kind of adult, you know, newly married. Shout out to 30-something. So yeah. That was a big hit. adult, you know, that newly married. I shot out to 30 something.

So, yeah. That was a big hit. That was a big hit at the time. So, anyway, I pitched it. I said, you know when you're at a party, when you're with your wife, your husband, and then you're having a great time, you're socializing, you get in the car,

the second that car door closes, that's the show. Love that. I said, when you turn to the other one, go, why did you say, I thought she was pregnant? No, she's not pregnant. You told me they were divorced. I did not hear that, yeah. So that, and that was sort of the mantra

that we kept for all the seven seasons, like it's gotta feel that good, and you know, it's gotta feel that real. That's such a tangible moment that everybody understands. Yeah, and the funny thing is when we pitched it, every exec would say, oh, oh, all right, listen to my mother-in-law, and like everybody's got something on them. Yeah, and the funny thing is when we pitched it every exec we say, uh, I listen to my mother-in-law I'm like everybody's got something. Yeah hundred percent it connected man. That is wild, huh?

Just going back. What were the vacations like as a kid? Where would you guys go? We're done with show business No, I meant as professionally Sign the VHS let me out of here. What was vacay? I don't remember vacations. I remember I went to summer camp from when I was nine to 14 and that was, you know, like that was like, oh, not everything is vertical. This tree. That's a Gal Westchester.

Where were they sent? New Hampshire. New Hampshire. It was beautiful. I was like, oh, and then it was really hard to come back in the city What oh that that transition back in that sucks? Yeah, it's like oh the walls are small and like you can't breathe then you acclimate and when did you start taking the subway? As a kid, do you remember how old you were? Nine ten eleven twelve probably not too young. I have pretty overprotective parents. So I was probably

1213 and what was my, who lives in Brooklyn now, and he's mastered the subway. And he said, when was the last time you took a subway? I went, boy, I'm gonna say maybe 81. And he said, you know, whatever it is, $3. I went, Billy! It used to be a nickel. Yeah, and it was literally a few years ago

when I said, well, where do you get the tokens? He goes, there's no tokens. Yeah. I said, nobody tells me anything. What was the family car? What was that? Do you remember that car that your dad drove Carlin in? It was a Cadillac.

It was a Cadillac Coudre. No kidding. Well, but it's because he. He was doing all right. The business was doing good. Yeah. But it was, I mean, for a long time it wasn't. I mean, it was a big deal for him. He treated it. And he was not a showy guy. And I learned a lot from him. He was not a right. The business was doing good. Yeah. But for a long time, it wasn't. I mean, it was a big deal for him.

He treated it. He was not a showy guy. And I learned a lot from him. He was not a showy guy. He was the least wasteful. He was never about showing. But if you're going to get something, get something of quality.

So I played piano as a kid, right? And I was playing on this upright rinky dink that had been in my father's house. It was 100 years old when I got it. And I started getting more serious and they decided like, you know, he needs to get a real piano, so, you know, a good piano. So we went piano shopping.

So I'm 14 now. And I would, you know, this is nice and this is, you know, $500. And my father goes, get a Steinway. I go, I don't know. It's like saying get out of world's most like, I don't know. It's like saying get it at World's Best. I don't need, and it was infinitely more expensive than this, this is fine.

Yeah, this is fine for me, it's for me. And his thing was, no, you're gonna get it once in life and let's get a quality, let's get the, and I went, it was quality. I went, oh, whereas if I bought a stupid comic book for 25 cents, don't waste your money is like because it's stupid You know and it's waste, but so it was a gift if you're gonna do something You know don't be extravagant don't be wasteful and don't be throwing money around

But when it's time to get some so it's so we always had Ford's you know Remember a galaxy 500. There's a number. I hadn't thought oh Is that a real thing I hadn't thought of. Look that up. I gotta look that up. Is that a real thing? I just came out of my mouth. I could be wrong. It sounds real. But it was forged and it's

somewhere in the early 70s. Whoa. Yeah, that's nice. Is it a wagon? No, is it a wagon or the the? No, it's not a wagon. I can't. Yeah, I guess. God. Yeah, I guess. Man. I can't I can't picture it. Let's talk about Chubby. Chubby, Chubby, Chubby.ubby Dang, as you know summer is over. It's finished. It's dead. Okay, hoods done

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Sure, yeah. And under the highway, the FDR drive, there were just spots you could park. Wasn't even a parking lot, you just parked your car. And they had this beautiful Cadillac. It was like, I remember, Navy blue with white interior, like a pimp mobile, it was like really gorgeous. Parked it there, it was stolen in two days.

And went, whoa, the car was stolen. And he got a, they gave him another one insurance, blue, white interiors. Three days gone. He said, you know, give me a shit brown one with a Harlan. Had that for four years. Nobody's, somebody elsewhere is saying, if you can get me a blue one with white interior. Yeah, I know where that is. So you learned that from your dad. So throughout everything, everything that you were making, you know, my two dads mad about you,

you've always been very smart with finances. You never did anything crazy? No, I'm not smart. I'm actually dumb with finances. Smart enough to let someone else handle it? Yeah, no, but I'm really not particularly fiscally responsible. But I just always know that I've been lucky that I've

been able to go out and cover it, whatever we need to do. Cover it with nothing. OK, you know what? I'm going to go pick up a check somewhere. But that comes from doing stand-up. That's a comics mentality. I'm going to book a couple of months because I want to take a trip or whatever. I want comes from, you know, doing stand-up. That's a comics mentality. I'm gonna book a couple of months because I wanna take a trip or whatever.

I wanna buy something, so you go and do it. So, but it was never like, I wanna make a gazillion dollars. Like, that'd be nice, but that wasn't the goal. Because by the way- I think you have that now. Being a comedian, trying to be a comedian is the worst career plan in the world. It works out for 0.1% of the people, it's crazy. And what working out means, different things to different people. It works out for 0.1% of the people.

And what working out means different things to different people. It works out for four years. It's never going to be. So there's no reason to think I'm going to. Oh, that was the story I was going to tell you. When my dad was trying to finally understand why I was leaving his promising business, where it's up

and running, it's really successful, and you could. And then he was sort of pained. He said, I don't know, I just, if I just had some reason to know that you would succeed at this, and I said sort of facetiously, I go, what do you mean? I'm like, if I got you a note from David Brenner, would that work for you? He went, yeah, kind of would.

That's when, you know, they are like, if I somebody, if your teacher. Someone I know cosigned you, I'm in. Cosign me. Do you know Larry Miller? So years I somebody if you're teaching someone I know yeah, I'm in cosine me You know Larry Miller so yeah, so years later and my dad was already gone I met David Brenner and I told my story goes please tell your dad. You're okay. You're okay You're okay, but I said, okay, that's all he wanted to hear her. What do you think he would say now man, David? No, your dad. I think you know, I think of it all I think I Oh, your dad. I think, you know, I think of it all the time.

I think he was way ahead of his time in some ways. Like he got his, he computerized his business way before computers were everywhere. Accessible, yeah. And they were huge. They were these mainframe things that would take up a room this size and he would, and they were these cards, computer binary cards.

And so I always think of him like he would love and be fascinated with like it's all on your phone YouTube or something like and he would he would just love all that and I think you know and I miss you know I would have loved for him to go you know man about you we made a lot of money and by the way I think you'd really like my kids what's what's a vacation look like now, if you're going away? You take the family, you do something annually? Well, the kids are now, my boys are 29 and 24,

so they're less eager to hang out with mom and dad. But when they're little, you know, yeah. My wife and I, we just came back, I had a friend whose daughter, my best friend from growing up, his daughter in France married a French guy the weddings in France So first you go I gotta go Everyone's gonna go to a wedding and then you go well France is nice And then we go all France and then I would just go let's go to the wedding

We'll spend two days. We'll come home and my wife goes. You know Venice is beautiful. You're over there You're over there there You're over there. And I go, and I would never think of that. So I never think, because I'm so happy doing nothing. And my wife is like, So am I. Like, let's go, you know, and I think it is a man, much more male thing, but my wife who's, you know,

just much more adventurous and likes a plan, he said, well, let's go to Venice. I go, well, that's a great idea. So we just had the two of us, we were spending five days in Venice and going to art, there was an art fair there and it was a thousand degrees. It was actually cooler on the sun. That's how hot.

That's how hot. I love it. I love it. How was the wedding? I don't remember. It was beautiful. It was lovely. And I would go, oh, it's nice to be in France.

Do you dance at a wedding? Are you asking me? Yeah. Uh, you know, I didn't. I wasn't a big dancer. Yeah. I'm a big dancer. Because, you know, at this point in life,

you can hurt something. Move too quickly. Twist funny, you're going to break. You're going to break. We always ask, so we got to ask you, since you just went to one. You're asking interesting questions. Do you dance at a wedding? We get to the bottom of them all.

I've never heard that question Here's another reason stupid ass question It was a close friend the close friends kid that my man my best friend growing up What is your best friend growing up and still so what do you guys what do you drop in the envelope on something like that? We have to yeah, we gotta ask And do you handle that as the does your wife wife handles it because I can't think of it. Oh, no, you know what? I think now everything,

the registry is online, and like here's the things we need. So you just got to pick whatever the thing is and pick the appropriate number. Okay. Open bar? Was it open bar? A mil, mil seven. No, we're general. A mil to a mil seven is a great spread.

A mil, mil seven, I don't know. A mil seven, how long do we know it? We don't know the guy, you're making a million three. What's.7 between friends? You know what I mean? That's what we wanted to hear. A mil, a mil seven, very nice. And, okay, you know, how many suits do you own?

Could you put a number on it? You know what, I have a feeling that you guys are just like a front for some sort of political thing We're gonna gather we're gonna gather dirt and then we go we know for a fact He has 1100 suits I Just we were we asked what we always have comics on varying levels of success. We love the come-up Some people I have in my closet. I probably have seven or eight suits, six of which don't fit.

Sure. Or are old. And I just, ah, it's still good. I don't have the heart to throw it out. I might get back in there sometime. Might get back in there. But now I'm doing some press, I'm going to go get a new suit. And now I go, well, so now, I'm just learning this in life.

You know, you can get rid of things. Did you know that? So I go you know what I give it so we you know and especially suits they have there's a charity Which is such a great thing people who need job interviews job interviews go yes Here's this you're gonna look like just like I did on my two does red carpet you're on a red carpet. 88. Let's go. Yeah, we'll go for interview. We'll go with the shoulder pads.

Did you do a show with Greg Avigan? No, it's the suit. It's the suit. I know you think I'm Paul Reiser. I am not. Two things. In my pocket is a wedding invitation that he went to.

It says PR on the breast. Two things. One, that closet, your closet, that's a walk-in, I would assume, right? You walk in there. The wife's got a walk-in closet. You know, it's very personal. Paul, I've googled the house.

Welcome to the show, sir. We had a very big house that we recently sold because it was just like the kids are grown, the kids are out, and I can't find shit. Honey! You see my suits? So we are now in a much smaller house with complainably small closets. I literally said to my son, he said, oh dad, you should get that jacket. I said, I can't fit a jacket on. I'm busting it to the team.

You guys have to move back in. Yeah, so we're either gonna throw more clothes out and or find a different house with a little more room. We went from that to this. I go, you know what? In the middle, it's between the middle and the middle seven. It's the same spread. This is where we want to be right now. We're here So yeah, and now the second part of the question is the suit that you want to get how would you do that? You're not going to like a today's man

Are you getting fit? Have someone come over take the measurement you go to a tailor? I go to a store and go to the store to, there's a store, but it's a nice store and there's not a lot of people there. Sure. And the guy knows me. Sure. But an interesting question. That's a great one. It's not a big store, a little store, you gotta be invited to the store. You two couldn't get in. Couldn't fit through the door probably, both of us. No, it's a regular retail store. But it's interesting because when Mad About You is over, I realized I was so spoiled because like they buy wardrobe Everything's and even like oh, I got to do it tonight show. We'll get you super So I never bought and so like for like three or four years. I'm going everything looks old

Yeah, cuz you haven't bought anything and then I didn't know how to do that I'm like do I go in and I try I I out of habit and I don't particularly enjoy it. I don't like it. So, but I don't. Yeah, I mean you look sharp. You're a sharp, put together guy. I don't buy a lot of stuff, but I'll just buy like nice t-shirts. I go, you know, give me, let me take six.

Because I don't want to come back in a week. I was like, and then it's because immediately there's coffee. He's a comic at heart, I love it. Yeah, I had an idea after, when my kids were little, or babies, you're always holding your baby. And I Yeah, I had an idea after when my kids were little, or babies, you're always holding your baby. And I thought, I have an idea. I'm gonna design a line of shirts for men.

It's already stained right there. Just like the babies can then over here when you get older, because you're gonna drop tomato sauce. So like stained. I'm way ahead of you on that. Never took off, but that's a great idea. What about the hair? Who's cutting the hair these days?

Do you go to a barber? Does somebody come to the house? You are up my ass with this personal information. This is what we do. This is what we do. I, I, yeah, I'm not saying I'm enjoying it. Just because you're doing it don't mean I gotta jump on. Because I don't do this.

There's a young woman who comes to the house. Sometimes she can't, I go to her shop. I wish she works, it's not her shop, she works. She cuts my hair and then, you know, and then sometimes if my son's around, she'll do my son. But they don't care. Okay. Go ahead, you want blood type?

Who's doing it? Do you need a specimen before I leave? How, you guys are up my ass in a way. I could use.7 if you got it. Kid, do you, My wife has never asked this many questions. Who's doing the food shopping now? And where do you go if you go? I'll give you an idea how well I'm doing.

Larry Miller does my shopping. Respect. No, my wife does the food shopping. But it's not like I refuse, I don't care. Also, I've learned this, I am wildly inefficient in a store. My wife is deliberately and remarkably efficient. So you go, boom, I gotta go there, I know the flow. I'll go and I'll be, I'm gonna go here and I got mustard.

And I'm gonna go to the other, oh, you know what, I'm gonna go here and I got mustard and I'm gonna go to the other, oh you know what, I'm gonna get some turkey. Oh you know what, I go back to the fruit section, oh another mustard, and I'll sometimes come back and I was supposed to get three things and I got nine jars of mustard. Why? I'm different types.

I'm very good at buying mustard. Now this is out in California, is where you guys are? Where you go to Rouse? Where you go to the address? Let me give you the, take a pencil. Let me draw you a map because it's hard to find. Will you go to Whole Foods, Erawan? Go to Whole Foods. My wife enjoys the Erawan. And so you just walk into Whole Foods. There's Paul Reiser walking around with five mustards.

You know, it's so sweet that you think people give a shit. What? Nobody has ever, nobody cares. At best I go, did you used to be? No. No, nobody cares Air one yeah, everyone is great. My wife will love everyone and it's always followed by boy do they know how to charge They're on it. See this tomato $42. It's crazy now that the kids are out of the house Do you guys do you and the wife have dinner together most nights when you're home? Yes, sit down at the table we ever sit down in front of the house. Do you guys do you and the wife have dinner together most nights when you're home? You sit down at the table. We ever sit down in front of

the couch or watch TV? Always the couch and TV. If we're feeling we're getting just too lazy, we will go to a table, we'll go out. But the new thing now, I was talking to a friend about this, the bedtime hour is just getting earlier and earlier and sometimes I'll just go it's 730 too soon. Isn't it great though? Like I'm 48 and I'm already starting to feel that. I don't think it's a great thing. But yes, but sliding into bed at like 8 o'clock. Yeah and I do and I love getting into bed and I love only recently I really love reading. For a long time I wasn't reading, I just didn't have the patience.

Really? And now I'm just going, this is a great idea, there's a story, and it's already printed, and you go, oh, this is, oh, this book takes place. So I love getting into bed, and then, and in the mornings, I will get up, and I will, well, my wife gets up, my wife's a therapist, and she'll,

she's working early, even if she's not working, she's up, she's doing stuff, and I'm enjoying being leisurely. The slow start. The slow start, unless I'm working, of course. But, and I do the bit about this, I said something has happened as I've gotten older, and it happens.

Sleeping becomes a challenge. I, like, almost every morning, the first words out of my mouth are, I didn't sleep so good last night. I don't know why. Four hours. I didn't eat anything crazy. I wasn't thinking about it are I didn't sleep so good. Yeah, I don't know why four hours I didn't eat anything crazy. I wasn't thinking about anything crazy. I never used to it was never a challenge I would put my head down. I'm asleep now. It's like it's a it's not going well her why is that?

I don't know speaking eating. What would be a typical Paul riser snack after dinner before you went to bed What do you get into you do an ice cream? You keep it tight. What do you get into? You do an ice cream. You keep it tight. I just I and couple almonds. Seven almonds. Me and me and Obama. How many did you do?

Seven. You got a boss. No, only seven. First of all, you know that the whole eating late at night. Bad. It's not a good idea. Look at who you're talking to. I mean, we only eat after dark.

I've been doing this bit now where I, you know, I had a friend who went through rehab and I said, you know what, and he's a new person. And I said, I was jealous because I'd like to be a new person. Yeah, like a fresh started man at 50. I'm not thrilled with me. And it's not like I don't have problems,

but they're not as pronounced as his. I said, but I certainly have self-destructive habits. I said for example I'm doing a bit. I said for example late at night. I'll go downstairs to the kitchen I'll eat too much cheese and then I don't feel good and the next night I do it again, so I'm not learning That's the thing so Cheese or you know these little little ice cream sandwiches, but sometimes they're not dairy They're like good. I don't know what they are, coconut or almond milk or something?

Skinny cow or something, the coconut ones are good. But they're good, and they're like just the right size that you go, two would be better, wouldn't it? And then you have two, so all the little ice cream sandwich, a little, or a good pretzel, sometimes a bad pretzel are not good. You like a good pretzel.

I like a hard pretzel. Like a fairly pretzel. Oh, like a soft pretzel, hard pretzel? Oh, a hard pretzel, a hard pretzel. Snyders, you like Snyder's joy Snyder's So by the way, so I did a gig in a theater in Hanover, Pennsylvania There were like four different sure four different writers from Hanover Snyder's but then they what's yes

I'm going what why would this be the capital of pretzels because it's Pennsylvania, baby No, but spread it out. But no, Hanover, we're all going to be in Hanover. Yeah. We already got the salt. Pennsylvania Dutch. Yeah, but OK. Yeah.

Probably something about the water, maybe. Yeah. Water. The water. The water. Yeah. My kids grew up in LA, but they speak like they're from New York, which I'm so proud of.

They go, I want some water. I go, oh, good for you. Are you flossing every night? He's not gonna like that I can tell you Come around a table I'm gonna slap you silly Yeah, I didn't realize that Cancel your new movie by the way people go. I don't know should we see the movie or should we hear about his dental habits? They're gonna be so enamored by the way people go I don't know should we see the movie or should we hear about his dental habits they're gonna be so enamored by the response

they're gonna go to the movie in this movie that is out now you can watch it in theaters absolutely fan and you can watch it and you can watch it on Apple you can buy anywhere you can buy a rent a movie it's called a problem with people and in the movie nobody flosses you'll notice there's no flossing just to connect your sorry ass question with what I want to do. Let's merge our needs here. There's no flossing. There's some peeing.

There's a good peeing runner. Pardon the expression. And it's very, and it's beautiful. It's an island. Yes. As you know. We were talking about before we started, beautiful country. how often have you have you been to Ireland before that? I was in Ireland 30 years ago. My wife and I we were this is when before we had kids and we were with our friends and

She's Irish Irish American and it was saying they had a little st. Patrick's Day dinner at their house It was just the four of us and I don't know what it was But we had st. Patrick's, and after a couple beers, we go, we gotta go to Ireland! It was like, done. And then we planned a trip and went to Ireland. It was gorgeous, and we were on the West Coast, and we were, yeah, and we drove all around.

But I had always been enamored, and I just, I wanna go back. So I wrote this movie basically just so I could get my ass to Ireland. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I love that too. And it was great, and Colin Meaney. How did you settle on him?

Because you guys' chemistry in the movie is pretty off the charts. I forgot, you saw, you've seen the movie, you saw the trailer. You saw the trailer. Yeah, it really was great. You know, he is the quintessential Irishman. Yeah.

And he's very, he's huge in Ireland. We called Ireland, he answers the phone. He's at that portal. He's right there, yes. Yeah, this is him. Like, wow. He's at that portal. He's right there. Yes. Yeah, this is him. Like, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, we just, we were like, well, you know, who'd be great? And luckily, you know, we sent him the script and he, and he responded and he said, you know what I love about this? He goes, he goes, I always get a little scared when I get a script from an American writing for Irish, because there's a lot of top of the morning, there's some leprechaun shit. Little hammy. He goes, you skipped all of that, you didn't do any.

He said, it sounds like real people in today's Ireland. I said, oh, well, that's really nice to hear. And we play these guys, they're cousins, they've never met, and he calls me out of the blue, the character calls me in New York to say, you know, I don't know, you don't know me, I don't know you, but we, our grandfathers were brothers and there's a fight in the family. Let's see if we can end this.

They wanted you two to get back together. Bury the hatchet. Let's be done. And so I get encouraged by my daughter, Jane Levy. I go to Ireland, we raise a pint of Guinness and we celebrate. And then it goes to shit. Boom. It bad. You start fighting over the will. will start fighting because that's what people do and that's the problem with people But in retrospect that like I said, you know

Part of the reason it works it works so well with Coleman and I and it could we had never met till we saw She never met never we had spoken on the phone when he read the script We're both you know, and when you look at us, like, they could be from the same DNA, but it's not that far. I would have never seen it unless you two were next to each other. I go, oh, I see the same thing.

Could be, could be. But we're both nice enough, we're both, can be charming, but we're both a little cranky. Sure. We're both a little suspicious of the wrong people. It's like, okay, that's, and that's the fun of playing it, because like, these guys to do the right thing. We're trying to bring families together.

But motherfucker. Oh, OK. OK. And he's like, why did he accept my invitation? You asked. Yeah. But why? Why? Why? Something's up. Something's up. He would trust you. I can't trust him. Why would he say yes? But, you know, but every look, I would stop the minute you talk business. Like when you show it, do you start start underneath or just start on the chest? I was my next question. I was taking a sip. I used to do a bit about the showering habits

Like 90% of the shower time you're cleaning the middle of your chest right here. Sure That's the last place that ever gets dirty. I know but that gets the most attention. Where's your feet? I haven't touched them in years. Yeah I haven't seen mine in years. Not since you're in a bassinet But I mean I think that's it for me we got to get them out of here I mean you have more questions don't you? I got a million more, but I don't want to piss you off I appreciate that. You got a million more. How could you have a million more questions? What do you got? Ask me something Do you open your eyes underwater when you swim?

I swear to God, that's a question. Do you open your eyes underwater? You got a pool at the house? No! You don't? At the old house, did you have a pool? Oh, we're seven. The one you had a baseball diamond.

Okay, so you are? Yeah, we had a big house. I don't live there anymore. We had a baseball, it was are on Google. Yay. Yeah, we had a big house. I don't live there anymore. We had a baseball. It was not regulation size. By the way, it was a great left-handed field, right field, 60 feet. 60 feet over the fence. It was not... There was a great joke about a guy who had three swimming pools.

His friend goes to his house and goes, what? What kind of show off? Why do you need three swimming? and his friend goes to his house he goes what we kind of show off what why do you need three swim because it's not showing off it goes I have this pool is it 88 degrees some people like to swim in hot water how he said in this pool I keep it at 68 some people like to swim in cold water his friend goes okay but the third pool there's no water he goes yeah I have some friends don't swim good night everybody 100% class all class and I'm the board yeah damn legend There's no water. He goes, yeah, I have some friends don't swim. Good night, everybody.

100% class. All class. And I have you. Around the board. Yeah. Goddamn legend. Mr. Paul Reiser, the movie out right now, The Problem with People. Do yourself a favor. Check it out. It's streaming. It's in theaters. Looks absolutely fantastic. Thank you. Like I said, and I meant that. The chemistry with you and Colin Mooney is all.

And listen, this has been a guess. And if everybody goes sees the movie and it's a big hit I will come back and I will talk about Underwear your hygiene whatever you need you bet. Mr. Paul riser ladies and gentlemen Yeah, what do you got for guys? We are off the road right now still a few tickets left for the Philly show get them Thanks for all the support. We love you. I want more time gang the problem with people. Mr Paul riser streaming in theaters go check it out. We love you and we'll see you next week