Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Pete Holmes: Massachusetts Kid

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

Kippy and Foley are joined by Pete Holmes! Its a hot one! Thanks for listening, Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE https://www.athleticgreens.com/GARBAGE https://www.MVMT.com/Garbage https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG

Gang, before we hit the fun button in the episode, let's talk about the good old middle-class famous tour. Oh, wee. Talking stand-up show, play a little AYG with the crowd. It's a good time. Grab the homies, grab the bozos, grab your gal, grab your guy. Come out and see us.

We're coming everywhere. Yeah, guys. We're going to be in Denver, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Chicago. Chicago. Late show at it, first show showed out. Then we're going to be in Rosemont. Rosemont. Ew, baby.

Petilos. Then we're going to Pittsburgh, Buffalo, and Detroit in June. Get those tickets. We'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Yeah, it is. So a little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they're going to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash.

I'm your host, H. Foley, here with my partner in crime, Mr. Kevin James Ryan. Hello. As you know, we were down there in Austin, Texas recently at the Moontower Comedy Festival. Tejas. Doing a live podcast. Happened to land a big, big fish.

Who's that? You know them. You love them. We're going to get to them right now. Live from Austin, Texas, ladies and gentlemen, a very special episode of Are You Garbage with Mr. Pete Holmes. Enjoy.

Thanks for coming out, everybody. We appreciate it. Make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are cooking, baby. And then obviously, I'd be an asshole, a jerk off, an idiot if I didn't mention the greatest website of all time. www.patreon.com slash Are You Garbage.

Check it the fuck out. Love that money. And have a nice quick shout out. Give them a round of applause. T-Bone McMuffin. Toby McMullen, everybody. T-Bone. We love you, pal.

Gang, we could not be more excited. And I mean more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, actor, podcaster, producer, talk show host, and tall drink of water if I might say so myself. You've seen him in, but not limited to. Get ready for this.

Ugly Americans, Marin, Kroll Show, Mulaney, American Dad, Animals, Don't Think Twice, Fantasy Hospital, Bobs Burgers. Adam ruins everything. He got 24 episodes of Crashing, which he created and wrote 15. Holy shit. Then we're talking about The Secret Life of Pats 2.

We're talking about Star Wars Resistance. The Simpsons also wrote two episodes of that show. No big fucking deal. You see him in Home Sweet Home Alone, The Pete Holmes Show 43th episode of That Baby. He's got his own comedy central presents, Premium Blend, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Your Mom's House, Not Safe with Nikki Glaser,

Last Call with Carson Daly, WTF, Joe Rogan, Larry King Now. He's a worker. Inside Jokes, Hot Ones, Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Today Show, Ellen, CBS Saturday Morning, Good Morning America, 14 Appearances on Fucking Conan. Lights Out with David Spade, The Late Show, The Talk, and Entertainment Tonight. He has many specials out.

Nice try, the devil, Facing Sounds, Dirty Clean, and he's also the host of You Made It Weird, and one of the stars of the brand new CBS hit, How We Roll. Do me a favor, and not to mention, he's got a little bit of that E-Trade money. Do me a favor, give it up for the one, the only, Peter!

Let's go! Let's go! Holy shit! I was just supposed to fucking that up, I can tell you right now. Wow, that's too much stuff. I only saw dollar signs, to be honest with you. That was really tiring to hear.

Cause every, those were words to you, but every line was a memory. Like it'd be like Ellen, and I met Samuel L. Jackson at Ellen, it just flashed, it's not a good story. I walked in and there was Sam, like if you were on Ellen, round of applause, you're on Ellen.

You guys know when you're on Ellen. Sam Jackson is in the other green room. Do you go in, clap if yes. That's a, yeah. Clap if no, just to identify yourself as a cool ass motherfucker who wouldn't go in. This guy's happy. No way!

Whatever you're just like, not a fan! I went in and- With a cangle hat on? With a cangle hat? I thought you asked if he had cankles. Yes, he did have cankles, he needs to work his lower body. Pete went for the big high five.

My man! Oh my God. I don't recall what I did for the greeting, but I remember that as soon as I said hello, I was like, I gotta get out of here. Like, what am I doing wasting this person's time? Buddy, thank you so much for coming and sitting down. Let's be appreciated.

Give Pete one more big round of applause, guys. Thanks for having me, everybody. Thank you! We got a little fucking star power in this joint. I'll just tell the Sam Jackson story and leave. Well, I felt like it was hot enough. It was like a closer of a story. You'll always be closing, dude.

I didn't want to get greedy. Give us the full scoop. What's the Pete Holmes story? Go back, tell us childhood. Brother, sister, mom, dad. Massachusetts kid, right? Massachusetts, yeah, I never said that before. Yeah, that's a generous question.

I'm from Lexington, Massachusetts, birthplace of the American Revolution. You're welcome. Oh, look at that. It's a fucking patriot over here, everybody. We lost, we reenact that battle every year, we lose every year. And I don't know,

I think I can summarize it pretty quickly. I had an over-loving mother just withholding enough father, who's also a gregarious ham that made me want to get in the profession of getting attention. Okay. You know what I'm saying?

I have an older brother, two years older. And I also grew up super religious. So when you go to church a lot, this is gonna sound fake, but you see a pastor speaking and occasionally getting laughs. Oh, yeah. That really, like, you know, like brandy,

like they're always like, I started singing in church. There's a comedy equivalent where you're like, they let me go up, I would do, I know it didn't date well or age well, but I'd do a Cosby impression and all these things. At church? At church. What?

That's two worlds crossing right there. It wasn't Catholic, you son of a bitch. This guy's doing Rodney Dangerfield, he's killing. But I mean, you could only do clean stuff. So I would do zippa-dip and puttin' pops and all that. And that's where the bug started. Buckets going around the church real quick, trying to get some dips.

It was a rich church. We did have buckets instead of baskets. Golden buckets. What was the house like growing up? Single family homes, suburbs, right? Single family, yeah. I thought you meant single parent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll tell you, no offense to all of the single, the guy who didn't want to be said. Some of the guys in the back. I sent the birthplace of the American Revolution, didn't I? Yeah, my parents are still together, unfortunately, and we were raised in, I would say, I mean, from the outside, it looked great.

We lived in this old, haunted looking Victorian house. But there was a lot of fighting. I didn't know that that wasn't normal. Is this the flavor of the bucket? Yeah, we like it. For sure. Yeah, what do you mean? Well, what comedians do, I just do a TED talk.

TEDx, TEDx. Let's not flatter myself, it's a TEDx talk. Off brand. But every night was incredibly tense. My mom was waiting for my dad to get home. He was maybe at the bar. He comes home, we have this meal, and that's where you hone the skill

of noticing how everyone feels. Sure. And I feel like that's reading the room. Yeah, you gotta. So that's what I do for a living. That's why when I started doing comedy clubs, and it would be like the midnight show at Freckin' Helium in Philadelphia,

and they're like, it's a little rowdy, and I'm like, you don't have shit on dad. Yeah. You know what I mean? Is my drunk dad out there? Then we're good. It was like, it's simultaneously the scariest thing to a performer, and it's also like the best thing you can do

because you're reclaiming your youth. Sure. You were in the situation that you couldn't control, so it makes perfect sense that you got in a business of trying to control a situation. And this is everything. People who make TV, direct TV, write TV, people who do stand-up, people who act,

they all tend to be a little bit of control freaks. Sure. Because it's insane. Oh, it's a wild career path. It's insane. It's for lunatics. First of all, we ask you to clap before we've done anything. One more time for Pete, huh?

Exactly, you ask them to clap twice. Two, imagine if I wrote, like, it's possible. Let's say something happens. One of you comes up and slaps me, and this becomes a huge benchmark moment in my life, and then I later write a movie about it. Okay. Well, then it would be insane.

Like, I would be like, wild applause. Hey. Hey. Pete turns to the crowd, makes eyes with the most beautiful woman. She winks. Like, it's like, it's like, what kind of lunatic? Like, you're just like, and then,

they kind of comes up to me and goes, you were the best guest we ever had. And I knew then, yeah. That's insane. It is, it's what. And that's what we do. We try to keep it a little more. Somebody get a treatment together for that.

Will you, for God's sakes? Good one, paper. Treatment. Inside info. I like it. Very interesting. Do your parents still live on the same street to the same house?

They moved. Okay, so this will get us into our garbage. Hit me. I enjoy the pod. You already had us with the dinner fights, by the way. Just so you know. We're already there. I can handle a tough room.

The spaghetti flying across the room as a dead giveaway. You ever spill milk all over the meatloaf? Oh, that's a tough spot. I'm gonna give you a big clue, I think. I don't know if I'm garbage, but a big clue is when I wanted to eat my feelings, it was Trisket. Oh, that's a fancy cracker.

That's all right, Pete. Holy shit. Kids got a little bit of cash. I knew you would like that. It was Trisket. Hey, Ritz, kick rocks, will ya? We're at Trisket's house. He's not eating combos like a dirt bag.

What am I, at a rest stop? I'm not eating combos. Dude, I eat them at every rest stop. Yeah, that's when you're allowed to eat them. Sure. We're talking olive oil and basil, fat reduced to good stuff. Ooh, fat reduced.

Doesn't help you with those carbs, though. Him specifically, you mean. It's a carby one. Is that a green light area? I didn't know. You went for it. That's what the show's built on. What is it?

There's a lot of fat jokes and a couple of bald jokes. He just has to be okay. I didn't print it, Pete. So, oh, and it was with Tropicana orange juice because that was salty, sweet. People think that's insane. I get it. We're talking like a gentleman's sip, not a gulp,

like you're tasting scum. Sure. Just a little reminder that life can also be sweet. Your mouth is cut up. Fucking cap and crunch gets all the credit for cutting up the roof for your mouth. Triscuits ain't easy. I don't eat the fucking Triscuit.

That shit will fuck you up. That shit comes in looking for cap and crunch and cuts his ear off. That's the captain now. Who's the captain now? I apologize. But it was, these are premium, these are premium, in the 80s and 90s, like Tropicana.

What kind of pulp level are you doing on the Tropicana? Back then it was pulp or no pulp? It was zero pulp. Wow. You know what I'll do if I want some fucking pulp? I'll eat a goddamn orange. All the pulp you need, baby. I'm having a beverage.

You know that was a mistake. That's like the oops all berries of drinks. They're like, this has all this fucking shit in it. Just say it's 20% pulp. Yeah. It's like a gross, what was I telling you? I don't remember. Do you remember?

I don't, but the Triscuits was great. My father, my brother. What'd your dad do for a living? What'd your parents do for a living? Okay, yeah, this is good intel because I really want to find out and I'm going to take your word for it at the end. My mother is from South Boston.

Okay? Ever heard of it? Yeah, the department's my favorite. There's no Triscuits down there. I can tell you that. So that's fucking a right. That's a no way for a kind of neighborhood. My mother, when your ass kicked for eating a Triscuit.

Hey, what are you eating a Triscuit? What are you, queer? That's what it is. Charlene, knock this fucking kid out, will you? Hey, fancy boy, you want something to cut up your mouth? I got something right here. Then he takes out his grated dick. What a terrible person.

Why would he, it doesn't seem worth it for the insult to reveal that you have a cheese grater dick. I enjoyed the riff a lot of you back then. I don't think if you're, if you're not having, you're not picturing a boy who's trying to bully me. He's high status. He's a bully. He takes out his dick and has grates on it.

Rough. Yes! I'm in Pete, I'm on board. Okay. Unfortunately, there's like- These bozos don't know what's going on. I know comedy. I feel like I'm doing a Comic-Con panel.

Well, actually a lot of the effects were in camera. Okay. So my mother, when she was seven years old, left Lithuania, a war-torn Lithuania, World War II ever heard of it. So she left Lithuania. The whole thing, Ellis Island got the- She's got the manifest in our dining room.

And so then she moved to South Boston, where, not to bum you all out, but like Boston finds ways to be racist to other- Sure. Branches. The Lithuanians. Yeah, exactly. Wait, what was it?

I'm not saying it again. That's my fucking Citibank password. I regret it saying it the first time. Well, bleep it in post. But she would get like rocks and shit thrown at her and stuff, so she was like a tough bride and also a little bit shook by the whole war, I think. Sure, of course.

So then she meets my fucking father. Father dropping his ass. My fucking father's in Cape Cod. My father's a self-made guy. They both have the accent. They both have the real accent. I didn't even know. I didn't have the accent until I watched all those movies.

I saw Goodwill Hunting and I'm like, how do you like them apples? Is the proper way to say it, Matthew. But my- Kind of a scarlet. But my parents both have it, they still have it. And so she meets my fucking father. In Cape Cod.

Okay. Where he was vacationing, cause he's a self-made guy. So he's a- Some is in Cape Cod. Huh? Some is in Cape Cod. Maybe it was the fall, what the fuck is it to you? He goes when he has a weekend free.

When he gets a Monday off, he goes, okay? I didn't say he was a fucking Kennedy. What are you doing to me? Yeah, they weren't fancy pants, but my father lost his father when he was, the age was always whatever age I was. So when I was 12, he was like, when I was 12, my father died.

13, when I was 13, my father joined. The story got worse. How many dads does this guy have? Put the hell, pop. So he takes over, when he's like 15, he takes over my father's home heating oil delivery company and drove the truck, hooked up the hose. You guys are from the East Coast.

He takes over your grandfather's business. He takes over my grandfather's business hardcore, but then he gets a loan from a wonderful man named Mr. Hurley, who gave him like, I don't know what it was. Let's say it was $10,000 in a brown paper bag is the story. So his last name probably wasn't Hurley. I can't, it was, I can't say what it was. Mr. Hurley gives my dad a brown paper bag of cash

and my dad uses that money, real American dream shit to buy an apartment building that he still owns. And is now probably, I don't know what it's worth, but it's worth a lot. Somerville, which at the time wasn't that great. I think it's where triple O's, like the bar, fucking whitey bulge I used to buy here. I'm pretty sure that was in Somerville.

Where the hell? You look out to them like they're your buddy from growing up. You guys fucking remember. So this is important. They meet in freaking Cape Cod kid and then they get, my mom, not messing around like quickly, I think says to my dad, shit or get off the pot, like six dates in or something, they get fucking married.

And then I'm born. And then my dad, we lived in Melrose, which is pretty nice, but he wanted to move to Lexington, Massachusetts, but I don't know what I'm making around. And Lexington, you may know from the movie, The Fighter, in the movie, The Fighter, Mack Wildberg takes a girl to Lexington to see a movie.

Right, the fancy movie. Yeah. Yeah, you fucking remember. So little... It was like four years ago. Little fun fact, that's the Lexington flick. That's where I worked. I worked in the Lexington flick.

But in that fucking movie, the girl says to Mack Wildberg's character, said you didn't have to take me all the way to hoity-toity Lexington. Now that's what my father liked about Lexington. If you meet all my relatives, they're like, they're a lot. They're very, very, very, very, very Boston. I love them very much.

And then there's me and my brother and we're like, good afternoon, Smitty. Like, we don't... You're working at the hoity-toity... It's because he moved us to fucking hoity-toity Lexington and sent us to private school. So my father, with his bag of 10 Gs, interrupted, like...

Generational, yeah, of course, that's fantastic. It wasn't necessarily poverty, but it was certainly generational, like, you never leave Boston. Sure. Your mother's your number one girl. Join the union and do something. That's a real quote.

My cousin Raymond said, at my first wedding, he was like, you get married, but never forget. Your mother's your number one girl. And I was like... Raaah! And guys, real talk, you're actually... I talk a lot of shit about my parents because it's fun and they have a good sense of humor.

Sure. They can take it. I hope... That was my manager, Gabe, I think. Well, we got them here, Pete. Folks, come on down! Come on out! If you got them here, it would take my mom 65 minutes to get from the door. I heard you talking shit all the way on the car. Talking about Gabe Quad.

I was trying to yes hand and I blew it. Listen, I forget what I was saying. I'm so generous. Wait, I was there. My mom... Oh, broke the generation? Yes. Sent us to private school in Cambridge. Sent us to Lexington High School, all these things.

So that set this precedent. And this is the love that I have for my parents, apart from who they are, of course, I love them, but also, they made it okay to leave Boston, which is sort of nuts. Like, I had no issue leaving Boston at all. Like, because I saw them being sort of fluid. We weren't from the same street in the same block

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Chicago. Chicago. Because that's where improv was. Okay. And that's what I wanted to do. You tell me what area you'd like to go into. I like how he's conducting this now. I feel like Wilfred Brimley and you guys

are just at my dinner party. I'm like, no one else can talk. Let's go back to the 10 G's and the hefty bag, I think. Yeah, sure. No, I see exactly what you're saying. They moved out. Now, the other friends that you had, the friends that you got in Lexington,

that was a little more hoity-toity. Were they more, they had a little more generational wealth? Because even though you guys had the money, you still had to go home every night and you're having the fights at dinner. So the garbage still follows you a little bit in the home. That's a little bit you can take 10 G's out of South Boston,

but you can't take South Boston out of my parents. Now, is that a nice, now is that a nice big on it? I'll tell you that right now. Yeah, I mean, look, I, I don't mean to be this guy, but I'm like, I wouldn't change a thing. Sure. And they did, they didn't get along.

They still don't really get along. They've just surrendered. Yeah. That's real love as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, you gotta hang out at some point. They've like wilted. They're just like, ah, fuck it. And then they just like,

they sleep in different floors and, oh, that's awesome. And my dad is currently, he can't stop going to the Coupes Town baseball hall of fame. Solo? He's there solo. And he texted me and he was like,

this is a new change for me. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I'm going to Coupes Town. And you know what I said to him? I don't care what she says. I was reading the text and Val, my wife was there and I was like, I don't know what to reply.

And we decided on Steve Harvey and Family Feud blinking in disbelief. Just like, what? And it was the right choice. Who's that guy? But yeah, there's sort of what, to answer your question, when we got to Lexington,

yes, there was more money. Certainly at the private school, this is when I started meeting a lot of kids that had, you know, doctors, and you're going over their houses. White collar stuff, yeah. And then, so this is the, I said this with love,

this is the garbage-y thing. My father is now thrust into, am I pitching a movie right now? But my father is thrust into the upper crust, right? But he's still hard. Yeah, blue collar. Blue collar guy. He's no collar.

He comes home filthy and leaking of oil. Like he's real hardworking guy. And when my mother started going to the church and Lexington, they would have Bible study at her house. And my father would be in these Bible studies. And this is a true story. In the middle of Bible study, he goes, Pastor, he probably wasn't listening for 10 minutes.

He didn't even know if it was a good window to interrupt. But he's like, Pastor, everyone's like, okay, when you go to the bathroom, do you play with your doot-to-doot? What the fuck? This is at a church Bible study. And like Marianne Mitchner,

you can't make these names up with her high hair. Marianne Mitchner goes, what? And he goes, you know, that's when you go in the bathroom and you get the empty toilet paper roll and you put it up to your lips and go doot-toot-toot. So that's my dad. To say another loving thing. This guy's fucking awesome, dude.

He absolutely is. Like there's so much about him that I love. And one of the things is he doesn't change who he is for other people. And he has this incredible power. He was in politics when he was a young man. And even though he was still incredibly working class, he was never slick like a Kennedy,

but he did hold a seat in city council or something. All right, here we go. Yeah, he had aspirations and wanted to be a Kennedy. I'm sure he wanted to be a fancy guy. He also changes the temperature of a room. He's one of those guys that I would watch him walk into Lindell's bakery and like everything would just come to him.

And now I'm not pitching a movie, but if I do pitch a movie, there's like the subtle art of, you don't want to like take control. Like we hate cocky people, but we like warm people, warm assured people, people that are assured in their own worth.

You know what I'm saying? And my father has that. A cocky guy is like, all right Netflix, shut the fuck up, James Bond meets Big Mouth. He's horny, there's a demon, he's following him. He's shooting Dick's off. He's got a cheese grater dick. I'll call it back if you don't like it.

That's a pro move right there. That's a pro move. But actually we could talk a little bit about that. That is something my father would do is if something was embarrassing or bad, he would revisit it. Yeah, you get out in front of it. It's like in jazz, there's no mistake if you do it again.

And he's really that kind of guy. And then my mother, she's the hardest course snob in the world. I can't wait to give you the list of things we couldn't do. Really? Married with children? Are you fucking kidding me? You've earned a lot of watch that.

Simpsons, no fucking way. Fried dough, professional wrestling, rollercoasters, stayin' out past 10, rolling rock beer. Did you say fried dough? Fried dough. The recipe can't be the dish. The recipe can't be the dish. You need some ingredients.

That's just like eating melted cheese. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, putting cheese on Doritos. Get out of here. Horror movies, bikini contests. I mean, who's doing that? A lot of these motherfuckers are going to hardcore bikini contests. What, normal seventh grader can't go to a bikini contest?

What is that? Throw a line at a wet t-shirt contest. That's it, all right? Well, wet t-shirt contest. Yeah, now you're cooking. Absolutely. So, since they don't live there anymore, what was the actual name of the street they grew up on?

Bloomfield. Bloomfield Street? Avenue. What was it? Get the fuck out of here. Bloomfield Street. Street? Yeah.

All right. Bloomfield's fancy, though. I suspect a little more out of Lexington, man, but OK, well, thank you. They say it was near Slocum Road, S-O-L-C-U-M, S-L-O-C-M. That one got stole quite a bit. How about the grocery store? What was the name of the grocery store she went to? Stop and Shop, kid.

Swapping Shop, kid. Stop and Shop. You got to go to Stop and Shop. That's a great question for what we're interested in today, because there's fucking Market Basket. Market Basket. And there's Stop and Shop, and if you're really fucking fancy, you're going to go to Super Stop and Shop.

Super Stop and Shop. That's invite only, I think. Who makes a class system within their own company like that? We got the riffraff at Stop and Shop. Oh, a Super Stop and Shop. It's true, though. I don't think my mother would set foot in a Market Basket. That's the market basket's trashy, or the lower end one.

This is what's interesting about the topic of the show, is all these things are branded with these conversations in mind. Like Lexus is a made-up word, like we want to be for the new money, and Mercedes is for the old money, and Subaru is for the little experience. Can I say that? Can I say that? Hey, we all love the good...

Can you even say that anymore? That guy? We all love the good outback. Let's not be ridiculous here. What, is that too much for you, Austin? Oh, I'm sorry. That's the new move in comedy. Dude, I just get cares all the...

No one cares about you. Ain't there any funny jobs? Too much? Yeah. That was one of my same lines when I would do open mics. I thought it was so funny when a comedian would tell a horrible joke about granola, it wouldn't work, and he'd go, oh, I'm sorry, do you all harvest granola?

It's like, yeah, no, it couldn't be that it just was a bad joke. We harvest granola. Yeah, there's a better chance we all harvest granola than that joke's stinking. Pete, what was the car situation going up? He needed one more, Kim. That was good. What was the car situation going up?

What'd you guys roll around in? You are, I mean, you're really nailing it. You've done this before. We... Look, my father had... I like how Pete keeps telling us, oh, that's good for the show. Got me now! This would be great.

This would be great for a garbage podcast if you ever do one. I know, but we all assume there's a later. What if this is it? You know what I mean? You're like, I don't need to hear that. I'm going to do a million more. What if we all die right now? It's not!

I forget people get freaked out. It could happen. I'm saying it makes... It imbues the moment with vitality and makes it precious. It makes your ice cream taste better if you go like, plain engine. This could be it, yeah, plain engine. Don't be afraid. We're all in this together.

We're all delicate flowers. All right. My father had a 1985 Scout truck. So he had kind of like a working class truck. What about Ma? Ma, then, she was a terrible driver. White knuckling, praying out loud as she made lefts onto Mass Ave. Talk about making a kid nervous.

What the fuck? I'm sitting there and she's like, Did Jesus please take our... No wonder I'm so comfortable talking about death. You were rolling the dice at every turn. As we burn, please keep it quick. Please take us through asphyxiation and not through the crisping of our skin. You got a high C in your mouth like,

What the fuck, lady? Just give me the basketball practice, will you? I mean, we laugh. It's a vivid memory. I know. But she bought a Volvo. You see what they're trying to do. They're trying to go up.

Sure. It was probably an 85 Volvo. He takes the truck to work. She drives the Volvo around. Station wagon. Now, what they ever have... Those are awesome, too. What they ever have the confidence to get like a Benz or a...

Or like, because the Volvo is the conservative. I have a little bit of cash. I want to show you that I have it, but I'm not over the top flaunting it. So my father's in that type of business where it's like, I think he's flush one day and then maybe it's like a little lean. I had the same upbringing. He's flush. I think we did.

We got a Mercedes. I used Mercedes in like 1995. And I remember driving it and feeling like, this is illegal. I'm 17. I'm just like doing big turns in the Mercedes. It was incredible. And he had a 51 Chevy because he started collecting and fixing cars. Damn.

This guy's all right. I thought the 51... I vividly remember being a little kid and thinking that the radio and the Chevy should only play oldies. I was like, well, it's an old radio. Green day. What the fuck? And I'm like, that's what it should play. But when it was green day, I was like, this is inappropriate.

We did listen to oldies. How can you logins get in here? We did listen to oldies. Oldies 103.3. Sorry, they're a sponsor. Go to oldies 103.3. Backslash weird for 10% off free radios. For all your oldies needs.

That's 103. Okay. But then it'd get like an old Porsche to fix up, but it would be in the garage for 20 years. Were any of these cars ever on the front yard or on the side yard? Not parked in the driveway? I'm resisting complimenting your question. I have a bit that never works. It might work on this podcast.

It's really just a thought. It's not even informed enough to be a bit. But I'm like rich people, very rich people and very poor people have a lot in common. Yes. They both love Cologne. Like the middle group, no Cologne, but very rich, very poor, tons of Cologne. They both have access to nature. Like the people in the middle, very hard to get nature.

But like if you're very rich, you live on a ranch. If you're very poor, you live in a field. You live in the woods. The COVID approach was very similar in both groups. And then the last one was like you own more than two cars. Very rich people have like seven cars a fleet. Very poor people always have like nine cars in their driveway. More of a junkyard kind of vibe.

Add up to one good car. So you had a couple around the house? We had a couple. They weren't in the yard. That would not be allowed. But we did have a lot of unfinished construction work. Yeah, that was being in my family. A lot of unfinished construction work. All right, little garbage.

Were you guys shoes on in the house? Family? I think it was dealer's choice, but we took it off. It was dealer's choice. I didn't have a mom that was like, you know what those have been? It wasn't like I was like, take them off because you're comfortable. No TV in your room, I would assume, right? TV in my room until I got into shooting my own videos. And then I convinced them to get me a TV off the want ad,

which was eBay, but a print form. And I got an old TV from my bedroom and on that TV, I watched my first pornography that I found in my brother's room. Yeah. In an orange. There we go. Orange and gray two-tone shoebox. Yeah.

And I was religious, so I would put the tapes in my camcorder, hook it up to my TV, watch the vertical hold would be off. So it'd be two lesbians, 69-ing. That's really what it was. That was the first image I saw. Not a good start. And they were going by and I'd have my way with it. Oh, God, that was terrible.

I'd have my way with it. We'd have our time. But then, you know, the whole time we're in... You could play with your dude-to-dude. Play with... He won a podcast award just now. Bring it out! They don't have...

Oh, he's ridiculing me or not. No, that was amazing. I know, I can't get a read on this guy. He's like the Sphinx. This guy's bonk goes for sure. I would worry that Jesus would come back while I was J. That's awesome.

Try a cup of decaf, will you, Pete? I didn't want to... I used to have a bit about it. It's what nice try the devil is named after. I didn't want to have my ham and my sandwich when Jesus comes out of the clouds on a golden sheep. Pursuing my own coming while the second coming is down. He's the same thing.

He won't masturbate if somebody he knows is on an airplane. That's great. I only masturbate when somebody knows is on an airplane. I'm like, oh, yeah. Matter of fact, Delta 48... That's it, Pete. That's it. All right.

But I certainly wasn't allowed to watch TV. Okay. Did you pack a lunch to school or did you buy lunch there? Pack a lunch until high school that I bought lunch. Did you have like a brown bag or did you have a lunch box? I had a He-Man lunch box. He-Man lunch box. All right.

So it wasn't so terrible over there. You can watch your He-Man. I didn't like your dirty movies. But milk and the thermos. I didn't care for that. Remember when I was a kid, milk and the thermos. I didn't care for that.

Remember when our mom would put milk and the thermos? It doesn't stay cold. No. That's a tough look. But you'd have milk with dinner? Milk with dinner. Yeah. That's garbage.

Let me give you another detail. The gallon would be on the table. Wow. Gala milk on the table at Dinden? Yeah. Hachi. That's the European and your mom. They leave that shit out for months.

Just warm milk at dinner. It's on top of the refrigerator? It would keep it cool. It would keep it cool. It's sweating for sure on the outside. Well, that's just the tension of the fight. Even the milk's nervous. Somebody tell a joke or something.

Well, yeah, Pete hit it. But I drank milk for hydration until I was 28. Like, I would go to other people's houses and they would give me water and I'd be like, what is this, the dust bowl? Are you going through lean times? Bring out the cow milk. Hey, lady, I do 2% or higher.

You know what I mean? I'd come home from basketball and drink milk. That's awesome. You've got to get your bones thrown. Yeah, because of the campaign. It was. And then water had this huge round of renaissance. And now I'm about it.

You guys go big into Christmas? Yeah. Fuckin' A. Colored lights outside? Or white lights. Ooh, colored. Ooh. Big tree or real tree?

I'm going to come back. Yeah, okay, no. Real tree. Okay. So I'll call it lights or trash. Yeah, of course. And they were just the ones you're picturing. Yeah.

They have like a film on them. The glass wasn't dyed. It's a regular bulb and then they dip them and wrap. Like the size of a tennis ball or something like that. Three of them are out by the time you get them home. I was like, I'm pretty classy out in the back. I was like, I won't get there. Drinking milk at halftime this fucking night.

Yeah. Saltines with American cheese and milk was a snack often. Whoa. Yeah. And I remember the white flower rush of that fucking nightmare of a snack. Chasing dairy with dairy with like a mushy saltine going down. Like, what is this? A nursing home?

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All right. First concert. I remember my first, well, I think we went to see Dan Fogelberg with my dad. Okay. Jesus. You know who that is? I've heard of him. Yeah.

And then we'd go and see Handel's Messiah. That's them trying. That's the hallelujah chorus. They'd try and class us up with that. Okay. But then my first concert, now I'm 17, I have... That's the first one you bought a ticket to? My.

Yeah. Yours. Oh, great question. Well, it was a free show. It was Green Day. It's funny that you said Green Day. Wow. Okay.

It was Green Day and then I got obsessed with punk rock. And I started going to the Middle East, which was an all-ages punk club, and I would see all these really, really hardcore things. I was thinking about the actual Middle East. Yeah, me too. I was like... God damn. I don't know where they are.

The Middle East? All the good shows are in Saudi Arabia, dude. Everybody knows that. They do a lot of the songs from Aladdin. Those covers. It was wild. Fun punk. They do a punk.

And they do a punk and there was a big, full-screen apology. I don't know if you've watched that on Disney Plus lately, but there's a big apology before Robin Williams is like, hello, welcome to my pastime, in a voice that if I did accurately, that would be a problem. And then Rancid. Rancid was a big first-class. There you go. That's a good one.

That's a really good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First job? Lexington Flick. Oh, that's right. Okay. Yeah. Hoity-toity movie theater.

Yeah. It's a solid gig there. Yeah. What'd you get on your SATs? Oh, good question. Thanks. Hesitating. Spit it out.

Here, I'll make you feel better. I got an 870. Thank you. I don't know. That's supposed to make me feel dumb. No, I want to fuck that shit, man. You're a host of a great popular podcast. You won.

I won, too. I got a 1040. I got a 1500. That's good. That's good. Four digits. Four digits. Yes, that's good.

All of my friends were 13 and higher. Yeah, because you grew up in a wealthy area. When they all took SAT prep courses, I bought flashcards out of the back of a magazine. What? My parents just didn't know what the SATs were, and I was like, I think I should be studying, but then I just kept going into my brother's shoebox. Your dad just kept telling you to do push-ups to get ready for it? Yes, exactly.

Do more sit-ups. You'll be fine. And then I did those flashcards, took them again, and got a 1040. Nice. That's great. Yeah, that's great. The middle of the curve, baby. I was ready to be ridiculed.

Oh. I mean, I got an 1140, but it's just me. Okay. Well, I got my name wrong, and that's 200 points. I was the, what were the Holmes family vacations like? Geez. Would you go up to Cape Cod? Fuck you, dude.

Yeah. Why are you doing this to me? We did have a cottage in the Cape and we would go there, and this sounds like a line from a short story or like an autobiography, and it's like, those summers were glorious. My father would work during the week and would be alone with mother. And they were, I mean, I love my dad, but like my family always works better when one of them is removed. Gotcha.

That's still true. Right? Cool. Me, my dad, my mom, great. Me, my mom, my brother, great. Me, my brother, my dad, great. I can't believe I did it. But all four of us?

Yeah. It's not, it's like chemistry. So he would be there. Switch off and shifts. I get it. Then my father gets a fucking Winnebago, and we start taking trips to Montreal and shit, the worst trip to my life. It was horrible.

Where did you park to Winnebago? Great. I'm sorry, but are you seeing this? These are great questions. I mean, that like, you could ask me, was your dad drinking? You could ask me, was it tight? Or you could say, where did you park and know the answer when I say diagonally across four or handicap spots?

Like, that's where it was. Yeah, that paints quite a picture, I can tell you that. He would get to tolls, had lose the ticket. Oh, dude, the ticket was bad. You know, the ticket, he'd lose the ticket, and they're like, well, it's $98, and it'd go, kiss my ass and blow through, and he'd have us look out the back window for cops, and when we crossed state lines, he'd relax a little bit. This guy's fucking all right.

What happened to church and the pastor? You're playing him look out on a highway run? And my mom is mortified, of course. I mean, it was a lot, it was a lot. Would he ask for, when he did have the ticket and pay the toll, would he ask for a receipt? No. No, okay. Because fucking rock and roll.

Yeah. What am I doing? I'm not paying it anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The Winnebago, it's not helping you.

What was the... The cape sounded nice, though. Yeah. Cape was nice. It's like the duality of man over here. I know. It's like we're into the party. I like it.

My father... I would go to this restaurant, this Chinese restaurant, and he loved it, and the waiter's name was Dong, and he loved Dong, and I didn't mean that in the way that you took it. It's a five o'clock show, guys. It's a matinee. Come on. Get your heads out of the gutter. But guys, get serious.

My dad really loved... Dong. Big Dong. We called him Big Dong. And he was a hairy guy. Big Harry Dong was my dad's absolute favorite, and Big Harry Dong would bring him things to put in his mouth, and it'd say, thank you, Dong, thank you, Dong, and let me know when you're going to finish.

Like, he meant bring the check, but, you know, who meant sort of thing. So Dong wasn't worth it, guys. I put my career on the line with that riff for a D minus laugh. We'll take care of it in post. Edit it out. But real talk, he loved Dong, and this is really sweet, and I think it speaks to this. My father invited Dong and his family to the cape, and they stayed with us for like three weeks.

That's awesome. That's awesome. So whenever I catch myself being like, you're dead in my head, of course, I'm terrified of him. Yeah. I never say that. I'm like, wait a minute. This was a sweet man.

I relate, you know what I mean? Gosh, especially as you get older, yeah. And as I get older, I know what it's like. He didn't really... He's not like a big friend guy, you know what I mean? I don't think a lot of men are... It's not modeled for us how to be like vulnerable. It's all Jack Reacher, I don't dance, you know?

Sure. Like Jason Bourne, Jack Reacher. They never dance. It's because they don't want to be vulnerable to allow music to manipulate their body. Like you have to succumb to a rhythm. Especially if that's dancing. Yeah. You know what I mean?

He meant to do Jason Bourne. You know what I mean? Yeah. I also don't... If somebody hit me in magazine to kill this guy. Yeah, I also don't think it would... It wouldn't fit in with the vibe of the movie if he started dancing. They might have danced at a wedding, but that wasn't in the movie.

You are both very good. No country for old men, the musical. I don't know if that's going to work. Don't put it in your pocket. Flip a coin, flip a coin, flip a coin. But what I'm saying is men don't... That was pretty good. That was a good piece of business.

This is used to kill cattle. I just wanted to join for fun. But anyway, male friendship isn't really modeled a lot. I don't mean to get too serious. But I didn't see my father do it. He sure didn't see his father do it. It just gets passed on. Having friends is some weak shit.

Yeah. You should be working. You should be hanging out with a guy. It's like working. Your wife is your one friend because you're going to make babies with her. That's kind of haunting to me. I have friends, but it's not natural to me. Some of my guy friends are like,

you want to hang out? I'm like, you mean do a podcast? I want it to be for a thing. Because that's more comfortable to me. I'm not proud of it, but that's true. That's good. It's a good workout thing. I also will do random...

I met a guy at a park. His name was also Don. I met a guy at Huntington Gardens. We just hit it off. We were talking about our kids. What are you doing next Thursday? Let's meet back here. And we did it.

That's fantastic. I'll do like Don moves. Like my dad. But I struggle to call Joey Roses. Sure. Our good friend Joey Roses. Just to catch up. It's fine.

But yeah, so he's a sweet man. Don. Okay. Do you want to switch to a little bit of now? I do. I want to know now. I want to know how you operate now. You're down on the scorecards from the past just to let you know.

I'm trash. You're not classy. Love it. I was really worried because my mom is a real snob. So a lot of that got in me. And what was her name again? Well, her first name is... You might say...

Because you're a fucking idiot. We're talking to an 1140 over here, Pete. I'm not no 1020 or whatever you did. Wow. You're like a ninja with one of those cross belts filled with stars. I can't believe it. It's a big compliment. Thank you very much.

The rare... Toby, cut that sentence to me. You're the limited edition student. You live out in Cali. Yeah. House, apartment. I live in a house. It was in a house.

After all those credits, you think he's living in a fucking apartment? This guy's got house money. Probably in the ills. I just wanted to see how he would react. Trying to get this guy on his heels. The disgust. House. I wasn't disgusted.

Okay, house. Excellent. What kind... I assume you have a car, it's LA, right? I'm not asking for the kind of the car. No, I'll tell you, it's a Volvo. I thought it was funny because my mom had a Volvo. Oh, there you go.

So we have a Volvo. Drive a Volvo. Yeah, I drive an Audi. My wife drives a Volvo. Okay, there we go. But it's not like an S3. It's a Q3, which is like... I remember buying it.

I was like, this is like $10,000 more than a Jetta. It's not like a fancy car. Yeah. Was there a crazy... I know that's a lot of money. I'm just saying it's not a lean road. No, of course. Those things cost like $150,000.

Yeah, you've got poor, poor people out there. I know you folks. You wanted to drive in dirt bags. No, some of you have cars that were... Sure, yeah, yeah. Were $35,000. It's not a fancy car. Yeah.

Am I nuts? No, no, you're totally fine. You're fine. You're fine. You don't have to buy it outright. You know, you can lease it. Although... You put 10% down.

What's the matter? So here's something for your notes. I bought it outright. Piece of shit. Peter. I bought both of them outright. Same day. I don't give a fuck.

And ribbon on the top. Kept it in Moshe Cashier's garage. Christmas morning. You did that. Snack out. Got it. Parked it in the driveway like a motherfucking cat. Holy shit.

That's like a commercial. Like a commercial. Because Val is the best. She's not like... She's not a showbiz jerk. She's like... She still experiences and feels things. So it was so fun.

Wow. To surprise her. And it was great. Not the best gift I got her. The best Christmas gift ever. If you guys know any artists, there's a great way to support artists too. My friend...

I always confuse him with his brother. It's Jeremy Hoffeld. I commissioned him to do a portrait of Val and our daughter from a photo. Wow. And she opened that and wept. It was way better than the card. That's pretty good.

So that's the best gift. You're a thoughtful guy, Peter. I like doing gifts for Val. I think my girlfriend would want the card, to be honest with you. We had a painting skew. Where's the Benzo fatty? So it's Natasha and Mosha had that car

in their garage for like five, six days. That's sweet. And Natasha goes, Mosha got me an iPad. She just has to see the better present every day. I know. You're just flexing on this dude. Yeah.

It was bad. He got her an air fryer? Is that right? What kind of air freshener you got in the car, Pete? I don't... What? No air freshener? No.

Detail? Get a wash? On a regular basis? If I'm in a very good mood, in fact, here's how I know I'm in a very good mood. I'm at the car wash. It always goes, if you're driving around and you're just like,

I am beautiful, you want your car to be clean. I get it. But most of the time, it's pretty dirty. We park it under a tree that kind of shits yellow leaves on it. Garbage. Do you eat your pizza crust?

Yeah. What am I fucking nine? I'm sorry, yes. I'm a fucking grown man. I eat the crust. And you know what I say to my daughter? It's the best part. It is.

Because that's our job as fathers to confuse them with tasteless bread preferences. I know. There was a lot of shame in my house if you didn't eat your crust. I can tell you that. Yeah. I got to sleep in the garage for the night.

Favorite part of the wing, would it be the drumstick or the actual wing itself? Drumstick. Hmm. And I'll tell you this right now. Because I learned how to eat chicken from my mother,

immigrant mother. We, I'm sorry, but that bone is naked. Really? Get after it. Yeah, thank you. I think that's pretty,

pretty gross. I don't... You're like, go, you're like... The cartilage. We're talking about the cartilage. I think it's so weird that it's gross to eat the cartilage, but you're eating its muscle.

Yeah. You know what I mean? You just lost another point. You can say whatever you want to me. I'm just saying, have some respect for this fucking bird that died for you, like Jesus Christ of the fowl.

Eat it. Eat its body. It's given to you. You went from an Audi to the bone cleaner real quick. Real quick. You guys cool on interesting topics. I'm like,

they'll feel, the religious people will feel seen that I know this specific religious language, but they were like, don't use the name of my god that way. What kind of shampoo do you currently use? I don't wash my hair. At all.

What kind of body wash are you doing? You doing a bar soap? Body wash? Dr. Bronner's. Ooh. 20, 20 Lexington. It's like eight bucks. Comes in peppermint.

I will wash my hair if I had product in it from a shoot or something, but that's the only time, and it's Jason. It's my wife's shampoo. Sounds all right. We got one yes. Jason's nice.

She has a $35,000 car. Your husband's shaking her head. Oh, no. I'm out of time. Do you brush your teeth in the shower? You mean after I finish my core's light? No. Like, I am disgusted

with these questions. Holy fuck. You brush your teeth over your sink, which is next to your wife's sink. Whoa! You got dual sink? Yeah.

Whoa! You got dual sinks? Two sinks! Holy shit! And I bought him outright! Paid cash! Wow. Man.

Okay. Oh, my next question you're not gonna like. Do you pee in the shower? Yeah. This guy's up and down. I have no issue with that. You can't get a fucking read on him at all. That's like the chicken wing.

Yeah. Your mom telling you how to pee in the shower? Your buddy Phil can go down the drain. That was good! He's an interesting mix. It's a private time. It's a private time. Okay.

Let's see. Do you own a tuxedo? I own a black suit and a tuxedo shirt that I've passed for a tuxedo. Whoa. That's pretty trashy. How many suits do you have though?

You gotta have a bunch of suits, right? Dude, that's fucking crazy. I once went to an HBO like Oscar or Emmy party or something and I looked down at my pants and I realized they were unhemmed. Like they were just loose. Oh, it's a raw end?

You had the raw end? It was the raw end of the pants. And I was just at a party. And you know what? Nobody fucking noticed. Yes, they did. Or if they did, they kept that fucking mouth shut.

They didn't notice. It must be that new designer. Oh, my God. That is very trendy. No, you're helping me. That is trashy. I agree with you. How many suits do you have though?

You gotta have a bunch of suits, right? Versace the whole nine yards. I don't know if they're Versace. Really? It's like a guy's name. I know Versace. Joseph A. Bank? Steve Harvey.

JC Penney. JC Penney. Couple of Penney. Oh, I know. Ted Baker. No. It's something like that though. Samuel L. Jackson.

I met him once. Tell us that story. I don't know. I probably own six suits. Yeah, but you're moving in shade. You have the premiers and stuff like that. That's good. That's good that he's doing that.

But let me tell you this. This is a clue. I buy them to do things. So if you see me on Colbert, like I did Colbert two weeks ago. Sure. I'm wearing a new suit. I bought that for that show.

Yeah. Now let me ask you this. And you only buy them because you're like, well, I can't wear the same suit. But if you do watch a bunch of my YouTubes, you'll notice I'm often just wearing the suit I was married in because this is my favorite suit. Here's the thing though.

That's pretty good. This is a little holly. What a minute shit question. I can't wear it. How much money you got on here right now? I used to ask that on my talk show. And I would ask rappers sometimes. Kid Inc. did my podcast.

Like 10 grand or something like that. How much? And he had about 10 grand. Damn. That's crazy. I have about $400 on it. On you? That's pretty good.

That's good. I don't know. My voice got really high when I said that. So just to be clear. Because I need two from you after the show. You can mug me and get $400 rather easily. Or you could use my mother's maiden name and just steal it digitally.

When you say that you get these suits for these events. Do you actually get it or does somebody get it for you and you go and try it on somewhere? I mean you're right at the cartilage. Let's eat it. I'm crunching it. My friend Annie Woods who's a stylist goes and shops for me. Damn.

That's classy. How about that huh? She is my friend and when she brings them over it's a whole hang. We have food. We have dinner. She's friend with my wife. So it's not as fancy as it sounds.

And she sounds real fancy. Very super stop and shop to be honest with you. That's not a market basket kid. How long were you sitting on it? Answer me. I don't know when you said it like a half an hour ago. That is, you're very good. I'm sorry.

I'm just the fucking quarantine. I don't get to hang out with comedians. I'm just like how are you doing this? Very good. All right. Will you send food back in a restaurant? No, because my mom did it so much. Wow.

Interesting. Because she probably did it because she wanted to seem proper. Yes. It has to be. The steak is not done right. It has to be a real. Agregious. Like really agree.

Yeah, of course. And I'll do you one worse. I'll kind of look down on you if you do. I was one time. Yeah, I don't have the confidence to do it. With another comedian, she ordered the mac and cheese. She got it. She touched it.

She went, it's cold. And I was like, it's probably just cold on top. It's probably piping hot underneath as it fucking always is. Yeah. So I go, just stir it. She goes, I shouldn't have to. That's separate checks right there. Get the fuck out of here.

Honestly, I think that was. I would lose it. Yeah. I waited tables for a long time. Me too. And if you wait tables. Yeah. You eat it and shut up.

You eat it, shut up, and you tip well. Yeah. Leave 30%. Yeah. I imagine you have another rule. If you do breakfast and the bill is $11. Get 17 coffee refills and fucking scrambled eggs. Tip $10.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. Yeah. Give them $20. How many times they came back to your fucking table? Yeah. I also, I've never tipped a postmate less than 20 bucks. The postman.

You drove to my house. I made you go. Postmate. Postmate. I thought you said postman. I'm like, you're tipping that guy 20 every day. Who just made him money? This guy's greasing the FedEx dude.

What the fuck? You know why? See, you're supposed to be shy about that. I'd like to get that out there. Oh, yes. Yeah. I don't understand. I go to a restaurant.

You get a big meal. It's $100. I know, but you just bring me one plate and one drink. Now I owe you $20. This guy drove to Glendale, waited in line, got it, found parking, found parking at my house, brought it to me. It's still hot and he didn't steal any fries. You get 20 bucks.

Yeah. That's very good. That's a very classy move. I think we should all be doing it. This side is not clapping. They have fallen on hard times. If you vote for me, I will bring more jobs back to Austin and I will keep it weird. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Pete Holmes, give a big round of applause.

Do I get a ribbon? You're fucking trash. Pete, you garbage. I'll tell you right now. Fucking lit a kid. You're trashy, dude. Come on. I never thought about that.

You're not classy. A litter box. Are we calling cat shit trash? Like, is that, it's discarding, it's litter? I guess. I don't know. But the litter is the litter. The litter is the power stuff.

I told you I got an 870. I don't fucking know. But I know you're garbage. I can tell you that right now. Thank you very much. He got your milk on the table. I love you, baby. I'm honored.

I'm honored to be garbage. I vow to be more garbage when I come back in one year. Ladies and gentlemen, CBS Thursday is how we roll. Pete Holmes, everybody. Austin, thank you so much. You guys are amazing. We love you. Appreciate it.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.