Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Pocket Bacon w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! FINAL RUN! Buy the Are You Garbage Card Game: https://areyougarbage.b...igcartel.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG Promo Code: AYG Manscaped: https://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Got a news flash for you bozos the card game is back on sale. Oh my god The original edition of the card game some of our favorite questions right here got about 50 or so of them Sold a bunch of them. Put them on the shelf for a little while now We're doing one final run of the original series one last job, baby It's a good good time to get hammered with your friends and find out at the people that you know That you love her garbage so do yourself a favor the link is in the description Pick up a pack today because they're gonna go quick. Oh, yeah, and that ain't it tubby. We got road dates, baby We got two shows in atlanta coming up in november
Starting point is 00:00:36 Then we're going to charlie north caroline if you're in the area get those tickets for that We got two and filly that are sold out. We got one left in providence road island those tickets are moving We got one left in boss and that is for sure going to sell out get those tickets. We want to party. See you there See you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash Now here are your hosts kevin ryan and h foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is are you garbage?
Starting point is 00:01:15 Oh, yeah, it's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they're good to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash trash. Yeah, that's right. I'm your hostage for Yeah, that's right garbage trash Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at an totes basement. She's upstairs Bad case of mezzo filioma Soon as she can find a lawyer that'll play ball and a doc Watch a little daytime
Starting point is 00:01:42 Yeah, she's been up late, huh? It's either that or she was a marine at camp la june in 1965 They're going heavy after you drank gasoline or something whatever was in that water. What's no Christ the corn never hurt nobody. What the hell? The main job my color is coming out They're trained killers Ah, my co is coming out from across the table. This is a family episode He is the ceo of are you garbage and the pumping picking champion of 2013 give it up for kj kevin james ryan
Starting point is 00:02:18 Because it's the fall baby. Thanks for tuning in everybody Uh, make sure you please rate review subscribe on itunes full video available on youtube as you know those numbers are true to roof Oh my Swing and a miss by a new guy luke Ladies and gentlemen, uh, then obviously I'd be remissed. I'd be a jerk off of being a soul. I'd be disgraced. Yeah, I watch god father If I didn't mention the greatest goddamn website of all mother fuck I ain't talking google. I ain't talking sg is I ain't talking xx and x videos dot net hamson It's all right. That's a close number two. You know what was big back in the day early on before I'm wire
Starting point is 00:03:01 He didn't know what you wanted to ruin a fucking gateway real quick Dude, you're ruining a devil. Oh man jammed up with free ones dot com You could say I was like the first time you could search by Hey, who's my favorite star h foley you type in that click the name and then like all the stuff would come up hot She much you like a little little weeders, huh? Gang how about a nice quick? Hold on patreon.com you fucking I forgot we got a whole bunch of stuff on there. I had xnxx on the mind I apologize. We're closing in on our next goal, uh, which is when we hit it. We will do, uh
Starting point is 00:03:38 Buying a storage unit. Yeah, we're gonna go to an auction do storage wars. Hopefully fucking get rich quick schemes That's what I'm into take those hillbillies for a ride We just did uh, we just won one of the bonus we do weekly bonuses a yg weekly, uh hard feelings one of the bonus We just it was on a road in the car good time Missouri out there was a good old time check it out Good good good good time and gang listen what our good pal t-bone this muck mc muffin. Uh-huh is out with the sniffies Yeah, he's sicky wiki. So we got new guy luke filling in He's a young good-looking his hands are shaking It looks like he's never touched a computer. I don't know what's going on. He's taking the sat's over there
Starting point is 00:04:16 Gang new guy luke ladies and gentlemen How are we doing guys? Oh, man. He is he is a behind-the-scenes kind of guy t-bone. Your job is safe Tell you that right now Fucking npr paul over here Let the lights go off real quick Buddy, thank you for filling in. We appreciate it t-bone feel better. We love you We just got jammed up to recording schedule. He's sick. We got to get these episodes done. That's the way it works You know what I mean? Yeah, is that the family is okay? All right. That's like, you know, it's just very like right
Starting point is 00:04:47 You're looking at me like go along with that T-bone's dead on the couch. No, what are you talking? He's right there You're long-haired freak Buddy, we love you feel better. All right. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? He's fine We Buddy, I hope you get there. I hope this gets he's editing it. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:05:11 He's fine Well, I love you He's like he's in a hospital bed or something. He's fine had a little bit of a scary incident yesterday Oh god, that's never good. I was down in the burbs. We're driving from one place to another and I find You all right, I just let him do his job man. You're freaking out. Oh man He's looking around like he's fucking out left field with a hockey stick. That's my line Yeah, I think I stole from my cousin Um
Starting point is 00:05:43 I just looked over he's checking to make sure the cameras are on he was looking at the boxes. No, um Spider the big man doesn't like changes. So this is this is a big curve ball in your in your mix Hey, I love new guy Luke. I know but I don't think you in the back seat of a minivan I don't think you like them on the ones in Dude We're doing the beeps in the suite. Yeah, I don't want this guy feeding the m60 when I'm in the fucking fox So I want t-bone in there Johnny on the fucking spot. That's right. Um, we love you, buddy t-bone. I feel better my friend Stop doing that
Starting point is 00:06:17 Should be services later In lieu of flowers all the flowers, please we send gift cards send some grip tape to uh tody's basement um Driving in the car. Uh-huh um I got my nephew with me. Okay He's in the passenger seat sitting up front and I hear him go. Wow. Look at that spider. That's the biggest spider I've ever seen. Mm-hmm thinks it's on the outside of the window. Mm-hmm. It ain't
Starting point is 00:06:44 Motherfuckers in the car. Yeah, I'm talking The size of a sac of joeya Like heavy bike This thing got a piece on it. I'm telling you right now what you do because you're not wanting to kill spiders Well, I am I'll kill anything if it moves. I shoot why I ask questions later. I almost I almost killed the three of us Save the spider You're going off a cliff Dude, I was trying to shake him off like you was jackie chan. I'm telling you right now
Starting point is 00:07:11 We both freaked out because when we realized it was inside the car You're not a cool cucumber either No, you lose it quick and I don't like I don't like chaos in the car when I'm driving So he starts you mainly caused by the way he starts freaking out. It's on me. Oh my god Screaming and this stuff like that and then I those follies are cool under pressure, man The main headquarters of the bureau of crazy. Yeah Spider disappears for a minute. He thinks it went out the window. It didn't it was they never do it was on me It was it was on my hair now. He's driving the button
Starting point is 00:07:48 So he's freaking out he takes off his shoe you keep making the stops People get bringing the bell. He's hitting me with his flip flop. Oh my god. You guys are idiots And now every last one of you he never got him. We pulled over. We searched the entire car I can't find this thing. Yeah, I know he's not dead This is like home alone with with buzzes tarantula around dude. I'm roaming around He thinks he got him a little bit when he's crawling down here You Henry don't move
Starting point is 00:08:25 What are you doing kip? What do you do? I'm never getting in that goddamn car again Dude, I'm telling you if it was just a regular little spider. There's a fucking setup It was just a regular little spider. I'd be okay. This thing means business I feel like they'd be getting bigger and bolder too a little bit Yeah, remember we had one on our window in fucking Missouri or wherever the fuck we were we were doing like a buck 80 High 72 and this thing was like just fucking chilling on the outside of the window smoking a bernie at A heater so he thinks he got it when it was on the headrest But it wasn't where it would have it should have fallen. Uh-huh. So he's injured
Starting point is 00:08:58 He's in the car and he's probably upset with us. Yeah, so Well, good luck. I'm an uber man. I don't know what to tell you dude. I drove up from Philly this morning, man I was the whole way just petrified Just waiting for this fucker to make a move. I was waiting to feel the the the cold metal on my throat Yeah, your hand on your piece. Yeah, everything's fine. Just waiting trying to set a trap for him to come out Take out the engine block. I mean, yeah at that point the only thing to do is put my seatbelt on Do a quick jerky jerky put a mouthpiece in and crash into a wall To pull pull a payback on it. It's a deep cut. Try not to melt Gibson. Oh
Starting point is 00:09:37 Uh Yeah, so that's how uh, that's how my day yesterday of my morning went. That's pretty good. Yeah I got one for you. I was just uh, I just got back from uh, Europa. Are you uh, what jet lagged? Uh, Kai was up at five o'clock this morning, which ain't good. Okay, you know Uh, it's easier on the way back every thoughts changed as your opinion changed on the uh, what the russia ukraine situation Did they turn you over there? I don't know. I was I was digging around snooping around a pipeline I don't know if you heard you got all your fingernails. That's a good sign. I'm missing that dude. Um How do you feel about the call button on a plane?
Starting point is 00:10:14 Will you call the attendant over if I'm on fire? Maybe yeah No, never really and you know, I wanted to talk to you about this, which I've never said it But oh god every once in a while we'll be on the plane and you'll hear a Yeah, what is that that that's the engine shutting off Ha ha ha ha That's them switching over to fucking hyperdrive. Somebody left the trunk open. Uh, what is that? Yeah, usually it's that or some sort of service call. So you hear it throughout the whole plane Uh, that might be I think they also communicate
Starting point is 00:10:45 Them set like the they have their own language the The uh, the the air step to talk to the front the back. Yeah, the air skanks Uh, no, I'm kidding That was rude and uncle. It's ain't hard feelings. Sorry. This is a public program. Jesus. Um, no, uh Yeah, my wife was using it using it quite a bit. What do you mean? What do you need? It's a long flight. I have half hours. I get my business class by the way Really machi I am broke. That's patreon.com. That's german business, too What do you mean? Yeah, I had to go over to secure more funding. We're fucking hemorrhaging cash over here
Starting point is 00:11:29 What do you think pays new guy loose bills the fuck sit down with swiss back? Yeah, I had to fuck Yeah, I had to sit down with fucking half of the half of the eu. They said no bueno I got a couple of gold bars with a black balinese dancer on it Ha ha ha ha Man Well pay back for the boston tea party, huh? Playing hardball. I've had my back economy. It's a deal to queen's dad. Who's got the cash? Um Yeah, I'm like I this was a big thing because I'm a big no fuck. I don't want that
Starting point is 00:12:00 But I feel like you're paying they they that's the sir And this is this was her argument, right? If you sit economy at any point if you want to get up and get a couple like on those long flights We're flying Lufthansa. You're allowed to uh, they have like a snack bar type thing You get up and they have like waters poured They have like a tray of water waiting for you a call you can go you can get up and go get stuff a buffet It's okay. That's how fat you are you hear a cup of water and you go a buffet Wait, you could just go get it yourself because I see that blue does that everybody kind of has that you can get up and walk
Starting point is 00:12:30 Back and go like hey, you know, can I have a cup of coffee or a tea or whatever, huh? Yeah, when they're back there like they're catching heaters and stuff I know fucking plane tiddly wings. I assume they're fooling around And nothing like an attractive flight attend dude even the guy anybody if you're if you're just on a plane and you're not 100 I'm into it. That's my cup of tea. Yeah, um but They don't have that for the uh business class because they want to
Starting point is 00:12:59 Givious they want to you know, they don't want you getting up. They have german shepherds patrolling me Ah Swamp eat on me Spotlight goes around the plane. Yeah, she was using she used it a couple of times and at some point. I'm like, yo tuts Reel it in a little bit. Now, obviously she could do whatever she wants. She's the boss, of course Um And don't tell her I said this but she doesn't listen to the proof I don't even think she knows we have a program. What do you she thinks we're making sweaters?
Starting point is 00:13:25 Yeah, she doesn't know what we're doing down here. Um What do you need that you can't hey when they walk by can I grab a They're not always walking by though Like they'll just go like pop in the back because they're not Like they'll come do the service, but then they're like just fucking they're chilling in the back reading the magazine or whatever Yeah, I'm too scared to use it. I'm always afraid. I'm gonna hit the oxygen thing and not everything's gonna fall down fucking Guy goes upside down. I said I'm gonna crash the plane. Yeah inverted. Um
Starting point is 00:13:57 Speaking of that, can I tell you a scary airplane story that was told to me this week? This isn't even your story. No, I could make it my story. So there I am flying in f16 This is top gun god damn it. I got two migs behind me on my day. I'm giving them both the finger. Uh, sure um Buddy a buddy of mine Went to went to uh was was flying down to Costa Rica with his family. Mm-hmm. They're just about Off the coast of florida. Okay. Smoke in the cabin Yay American Airlines flight smoking the cabin right in spirits
Starting point is 00:14:34 Welcome to palm all airlines ladies and gentlemen, if I can smoke them a piece pipe in the back Catching Hades someone's ripping a dude in the bathroom. Otherwise. We're in trouble. Um, also, you know, there's different classes of bathrooms on planes Found that out. What? Yeah What are you talking about? What do you mean? Where were you all week? What's going on here? I was securing our future um We gotta do we gotta do three weeks a year and fucking frank for germany. I just bought a lithium mine in uh north ganna We're moving to these over there. Yeah
Starting point is 00:15:08 um Hold on sidebar that what are you talking about different economy has a different bet I found this out you can go to either one though. You can't Because we got bumped out of the first class one You're probably I was just out trash. Yeah, I didn't know there was a I thought business was in first class We're just pseudonyms probably in there going out like a couple of rabbits leather toilet seat leather Oh, that's real german. I don't like that. That's sterile. What are you talking about? Would you like a bull gag while you poop? Yeah, I'm sure her whole family's listening to this now that's just over there too. Oh, what's the show?
Starting point is 00:15:42 We'll check it out first bag of just mimicking them. Um, what? That's wild. Yeah I don't like the pushing of the button. You start you ask them. What do you need what she need? Just so I know what she needed She was drinking some sort of mango juice Really? Yeah, it's called a mango Shola, I'm gonna pronounce that wrong. It's that it's mango with like a little bit I guess like sparkling water like seltzer and
Starting point is 00:16:05 Something else those germans do juices. I also. I don't know if you ever seen a german breakfast, but hachi machi Just a bunch of cold meats and vegetables. It's fucking stinks. Shot of vodka in a bullet. Yeah, it's fucking rough Anyway, so They're on the plane They're just about off the coast of florida. Mm-hmm smoking the cabin. Yeah 40 000 feet. They're cooking. Okay Captain comes on we got an emergency Everybody get your seatbelts on get your heads down
Starting point is 00:16:36 Don't say a word. Don't get up. Don't start screaming. You do any of that stuff when you get on the ground Fuck it. Don't give me. I'll give you a right hug. I'm turning this plane around and we'll go home He's like you do anything like that. You'll be arrested as soon as we land Dude fucking drops it 40 000 feet to like 6 000 feet Kids said they were on the ground in about eight minutes from 40 000 feet I know but that's always hard for me to like I mean if I can't quantify 6 000 feet to 40 000 feet Yeah, you can when you're fucking facing straight down and your eyeballs are getting sucked into the back of your head There's no call button there. I could tell you that. Yeah, he thought it was it engine was on fire
Starting point is 00:17:14 Went down hit 6 000 feet. They looped around landed in miami They took that same plane the next day to costa rica. They fixed it that quick You're nuts. I mean that minivan back to philly. Also, you can tell you've been hanging out with your family too much It's all fucking dread stories every time you come back. Did you hear about mr. Wilson shot in the head four times? Yeah, it's good time down here, but that's neither here nor there gang as this is a family episode We answer your garbage questions when you sign up for the patreon. We will answer your garbage questions on the air We have a little bit of a backlock, but we're working through Uh, also real quick. I want to give a uh, uh, quick shout out happy birthday to our boy greg born
Starting point is 00:17:58 Shout out to greg born. Okay. Just wanted to do that real quick Do I know greg? No, I knew you're gonna make this weird. I forgot to talk to you about it before Is this one of your german contacts? Is that some fucking kgb signal? Luke you fucking believe this piece of shit. Manchurian candidate luke luke just looks over greg born luke luke looks over right? He jumps out of the He started eating ramen noodles. Yeah, i'm calling homeland security That's what denzell ate manchurian candidate the remake which was pretty good
Starting point is 00:18:30 I remember watching that the first time hung over. Oh my god. I was in college. I didn't know what it was I'll throw this song. It was an all-proper comcast on demand Oh my dude the panic that said it wondering if I was a goddamn canady Waiting for him to flip the fucking switch on the yeah, I didn't like that I haven't looked at anybody the same since by the way. I didn't like that I didn't like conception and I didn't like uh tenet. I like the movies, but there was just too much Tenet, I didn't know what the fuck was going on. Oh, yeah started in the middle half of it's going backwards. No, that's not for me fucking kooky patuki No, thank you. I thought it was about a landlord for the longest time. Yeah, nothing on that. All right
Starting point is 00:19:17 So greg born yeah, happy birthday shout out to our boy greg born that's all he's our boy. Yeah, he's a listener Okay, yeah, all right. Yeah, I don't know this man. I know. Yeah, I also don't personally know the man shout out to It's good stuff. Yes Yeah, but let's talk about that man scape. Oh baby the best in the biz listen I know summer's over you think about letting things go now is the time to tighten it up a little bit All right, just because the corn's been picked doesn't mean you want to let the pubes grow out Sure the old saying yeah, this ain't the 90s. All right. We used to bang with that back in the day
Starting point is 00:19:50 They like them off now. They don't you got to keep it clean and you got to keep it smelling good and man scape You could get the old platinum package. Uh-huh, which includes the lawn mower there. What else you got the weed wacker Oh my god You got the lawn mower to do the parts down there keep the balls clean and you got the weed wacker You could do your nose your ear That's where you really get tripped up Especially as you get older you got to take care of that ear here. Don't think that. Oh, it's okay. I'm older It doesn't matter nothing more gross than eating a piece of pizza and looking over and your buddy's got
Starting point is 00:20:20 Blueberry trees coming out of his ears. I think that's a personal shot of me, but we'll do yourself a favor Trying to join my slice. Uh guys. They also have the premium body wash uh ultra premium two one shampoo and conditioner Your skin and hair will be feeling hydrated and smelling fresh for the broads out there. Okay This is all trying to we're trying to impress broads, right? You got to be smelling nice So they come over they talk to you spit some game and maybe convince them you got you go you two hit it off You go back to your place or her place Yeah, or his place whatever and they go down and then they open up the pants and it's the monster's house Yeah, what are we doing? It's no good run a tight ship. Yeah, especially in the winter
Starting point is 00:20:54 No one's expecting it. So when they do go down there and it's a and it's whoo-hoo clean You got your nice little v going looks like the ninth fairway. They're gonna love it Uh guys, you get 20 off and free shipping with code garbage at manscape.com That's 20 off plus reshipping with the code garbage at manscape.com Manscaped clear out the leaves. It's your tree trunks time to shine baby. Do it Kip I like that freeze pipe. Cold as ice. I'm telling you right now back when I was a kid You were doing gravity bongs. You'd burn your lungs plastic your throat. You're smelling that not would freeze pipe, baby Lowers the smoke about 300 degrees. You're getting nice thick puffy clouds start raining in that place
Starting point is 00:21:33 Really really cools it down. It's a good good time. We got the bubbler through that in the freezer Lit that up didn't even realize it. I was halfway to Pluto. I'm telling you that right now I didn't feel it. God damn it. Do yourself a favor grab a freeze pipe. You will not regret it. I promise you Yeah, good folks over there freeze pipe were nice enough to send two tree them fucking bad boys over here I walked in it was like a cypress hill music video I thought snoot dog was fucking behind the buttons over there that thing for a test ride Uh, the secret is the freezable glycerin chambers that come on every piece pop one of those chambers in the freezer for an hour Only be ready to go smoke is cooled instantly. It passes through the icy chamber
Starting point is 00:22:12 Pipes, bubblers, bongs, dab rigs and more handjobs, hookers and gizzuz If you smoke if you can smoke it freeze pipe makes it, baby So head on over to the freeze pipe.com Enjoy your new favorite piece at everyday great prices use garbage for 10 off your next order. That's the thefreezepipe.com and code garbage for 10 do it Um, all right, let's see here. This one's from Danny. Hey Uh, have you ever bought clothes for the family photo shoot and return them to the store after 100% for the photo shoot? Oh, no, we never did that. It's that picture right behind you up there
Starting point is 00:22:53 Yeah, you think that blazer stayed at the house. I mean, I don't think it fits anymore Shit went right back. I think all those outfits except for my dad's uniform all went back to the store Oh, that That's the I mean that going of a little place to get it done that shit phased out Before I got old like yeah, it was probably like when you were a kid. They were still existing I have one with a picture of me and my little brother there and I remember being like this is Cuckoo bananas we're doing here. I'm holding a wiffleball bat or something. It's real bad I know that picture. Hi. Yeah, the big fat one
Starting point is 00:23:25 Not the skinny yellow one. I think it's a skinny yellow one. Really? That's I don't know. He was a baby and I was 10 It's got electrical tape on it. Yeah, he's gonna fucking post it for sure dirt bag um No, we never did put that that shit never we just got we never got like portraits Like we would never that like we never did that that's crazy to me. Yeah, like we would do like oh, you're dressed up at Easter Let's get a picture at Easter and then you're right on the back like Easter 1992 or whatever. I remember the fights that that photo caused
Starting point is 00:23:57 It was a Wednesday. He had my dad just got on from work busting his ass all day. Luke. What the fuck are you doing? New guy Luke creeping around Uh What are you doing? What's that doing? He's fixing the curse Just let him go. I I love how is this what you do when you do when you do your big acting jobs What's this guy looking at stop looking at me? I freak out like christian bale Never again. Luke you're british all of a sudden. Um
Starting point is 00:24:25 That was a huge fight that was that was my dad getting home from work We had to be there you got to wear this you got to do this my brother had hit me I had makeup on my face. It was it was a whole it was a whole big nightmare. They weren't cool I'll take that though over the picture of everybody wearing white on the beach Ah, man, you got to have a couple of those. No your beach people. Yeah, but we're trash. Yeah, we're poor beach We were poor beach people we were hot dogs in a cooler people not we weren't fucking White polos and khakis on the beach at dusk all white eagles jerseys Everybody's doing away, right?
Starting point is 00:25:01 Are we home or away shirts and skins out of that kelly green shit? All right Shout out to the birds by the way cooking Um, I uh, I remember one time. It's just funny because this picture resurfaced. Um when my grandfather passed away My surface No, it started making the rounds because it's a whole it was there. It was my grandparents 50th anniversary wedding anniversary Big deal, right? My aunt was uh working for the city like pretty high up in the city or whatever So she got it done. She had the service done at the cathedral service Or like they had like a service like a mass or something or like they redid their vows or something there was some sort of like
Starting point is 00:25:41 Proper thing at some like at the cathedral in philadelphia or something trashy the redoing of the vows At 50, I don't think so. I mean these are old these are old bags, you know I think if you're doing it after you cheated in vegas, yeah, it's one You know what I mean? You come back when you get caught with herpes or something. Yeah this time. I'm serious exactly I'll never I'll never Have sex with a skizer again. That's a little different than you know 50 years 50 years a lot. Um And I'm in my like my dad's or my brother's old sweat or like
Starting point is 00:26:15 Arrow I was dressed so poor because I was I could never I was I was so fat and would get fatter by the day A little fat piece of shit I'm sure you weren't in your mom's pants your dad's sweater My mom's pants I got her shoulder pads in um I think I have my brother's like old like arrow pastile sweater I could just never get dressed up and danny could because he was like and you know an in shape good-looking kid It's a tough look he could get
Starting point is 00:26:40 He looked like the guy in the money like the mannequin. Yeah, you're eating in front of the choir sister Let me tell you. I know exactly what you're talking about. I look like a fucking slob So I didn't have it doesn't matter anyway if you showed up perfect 10 minutes in you're gonna look like course You look like it's like it's like you like to fuse when you dress a fat guy. Yeah, it's fucking It's a wrap. It's like a three in the dryer for a couple of minutes. I know um But I'm wearing this is bad and like I remember I didn't have underwear. I guess I didn't have clean underwear so we're like
Starting point is 00:27:13 A pair of umbro like soccer shorts or basketball shorts as underwear What kind of pants do you have on like horror really just helps you do is real bad. He must have been swishin Here you coming down That's amazing. You probably got a little stinger because of all the friction going on that Dude, that's all right That's like wearing silk, baby You guys got a shirt. You just keep walking. Give me a minute. I'll walk up. I'm eating the house Huh, let's see guys in there. All right
Starting point is 00:27:49 We're running a string of soda Let's get a soda Whoo, come back you're smoking Oh, what a fat little bastard Umbros And quarter royals. Hey, we're blue with white stripes, dude. I'll never forget them man. That must have been a good time Because the quarter royals got a little swish. They got a little rip. That's ripped for his pleasure You're wearing them inside out
Starting point is 00:28:20 Trying to get your freak on Shit Oh god You couldn't see this in the picture. Did you know? Yeah, you can see the string in one of the picture because the my draw strings hanging out and my I think it was my aunt quinny was taking the picture of all the grandkids and i'm dead I'm dead. That's why when my grandfather passed all these pictures are coming around and this one has all of the grandkids You know, so like this was the one that like whatever
Starting point is 00:28:46 And my I have a white draw string hanging out of the front of my cords And my aunt quinny goes she goes kevin your strings I was like, oh, yeah, it's my underwear. I don't know. I don't know what to say, dude I remember let me in so I remember being like, oh man. I'm a fucking I remember that was a good I was a turning point. It wasn't rock bottom, but it was close. I didn't turn around for another about 15 years, but Yikes that's bad I am what I am. What do you want from me up there? You're telling me you've never been jammed up in a bad situation. I'm in a bad situation right now
Starting point is 00:29:28 I got a pair of biker shorts on Get me a jockstrap. I'm cooking right now. No, but I had a pair of suit pants on This week and you know, I'm going up now. I'm going over you go over the belly. I go over the belly now um under the balls Hell yeah, I'm hanging out Watch You have the time now. These are my balls. We got old cop patrol in the five points walking the beats
Starting point is 00:29:54 um, sure uh Pants go above the belly. Mm-hmm, but the undies go normal Whoa, yeah, I can't oh no. I'm not so you have no man's land in there. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah Really? You got to send up a flare to collect a bond. That's crazy. Call a ceasefire No way. Yeah, there's a space you're raw doggen The bellies were all dogged in the pants. Yeah. Yeah, huh, which ain't great No, no and I can't because the positioning of the zipper. I can't just pull down and pee
Starting point is 00:30:31 I got to undo everything I always undo everything Well, my belt was real heavy and the pants were real light and when I went to do it My pants fell down as I was peeing and I was at a urinal not in a stall and I was around family and friends So people walked into the bathroom. We were in umbros My pants were around my ankles and I was peeing. Why didn't you bend down to pick them up? I was urinating at the time. You can't fucking suck in. No, that's gone. Oh, yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that's going You couldn't cut it off if you had to
Starting point is 00:31:01 They start shooting Nah, it'd be messy and I'd get it all down there tumbling the gun like fraydo. Oh hundred percent Yeah, I'd be losing it. Uh, okay. No bueno. So don't feel bad You're a little freak up there You should have just wore a pair of your sister's underwear or something I would have I'll do that now. I didn't I didn't know you could go both do that now on the weekends Um, all right, let's see here. This one's from Nolan first time new $10 homie Shout out to the $10 homies. Uh, have you ever parked at a gas pump just to go into the store?
Starting point is 00:31:41 That's a big you gotta you kind of got to do that in new york If you're driving in new york because there's no parking spots I do that wall wall all the time even if I'm even if I'm not filling up really fuck them. Yeah Because it's a pain in the ass getting out of those spots especially at the super wall walls with the gas tanks because they're fucking right there Yeah, you just pull in there. I don't know it took me a while to break that I've just started to do it because I used to have like anxiety that if I got gas And then went in to get a couple of cars sitting there cars sitting there. Yeah, really got fucking nine pumps No, I know if it's hectic if it's jammed up. That's a problem
Starting point is 00:32:19 If if the pumps jammed if it's no if it's if it's hectic you can't wait in line Then like pull in and just be like I'll leave her here. I'll be back come back with a saudi. Yeah Um, there's rules. We're living in a society people I would tell you the time those rules are breaking down. Everybody's doing what they want. I know but he gives a shit Uh, I locked the I locked my keys in my car at the gas pump. How do you do that in in 2022? No, this was this was 2005 probably 2004 Shout out to my fucking 1996 Chevy You can't do that with the Kia right if you leave your fob in the car to let you know
Starting point is 00:32:52 I don't have a fob. That's why wait. What? Yeah, I have a key A key. Uh-huh. That's why this Kia challenge that's going around where they're stealing like apparently Kia and Hyundai They're getting stolen like crazy because they like buy Hyundai not Hyundai You say Hyundai. I say whatever. I'm also say syrup. Yeah, whatever. You say a lot of things wrong too. Hello. Sounds like you're All right, how many pillows you sleep how many times I've seen guests stare at you like What is this? What is this huge man talking about? How many pillows you sleep with? Hey, my size has nothing to do with that It's ridiculous. Looks like you're smuggling some pillows in there. I say restaurant a lot too You say a lot of things proper wrong. Yeah
Starting point is 00:33:40 But Days like so they can be hijacked with like a usb Like the keyless ones like the push to start johns you can kind of just like is yours push to start No, I'm turned to start analog old school so they can't get you. I'm here Yeah, I doubt it's you know It's probably easier than stealing a fucking man getting your car stolen with a fucking Nintendo switch That's real fucking trash. My buddy had his car stolen and like every time I got back in it They like found it. They found it in the Bronx
Starting point is 00:34:10 Uh, it was a nice car too Every time I got in and I'm like I just feels it's not even my car and I'm like this feels weird Can you not take it back? Can you say I'm not taking this car? No, the insurance company was at your fucking, you know We've we've recovered the car it's your car Oh, fuck that. Yeah, probably homeless guys jerking off in there. Yeah soup kitchen touching their bowls Dirty mic in the boys. Mm-hmm Um Like that at all
Starting point is 00:34:36 You know, it's a dick move not a dick move, but it's a douche move leaving the car running with like if you pull up at Like a 7-11 you pull up in the front car running windows down music on that's like look at me. Look at me Or that are backing into a spot that don't need to be backed into kick rizak I like a back then though It depends where it is You're backing into the front row of the 7-11. You're wrong backing into a driveway. It's really nice I feel like if you were about to rob that hatch you're like this guy's ready to play ball. Oh, yeah, you got it Yeah
Starting point is 00:35:06 Ready to fucking truck you headlights are always on um The music thing Is so fucking obnoxious. It's like I I probably I don't I don't remember I don't recall But I probably did it when I was 16 and like thought I was cool Not even that but people in the city They'll pull into like a fire hydrant spot like waiting for somebody and they'll keep the music blasting If you have the music blasting and you're constantly moving
Starting point is 00:35:31 I'll give you that enjoy your life. But if you're sitting still You gotta be ready to fight somebody. That's crazy. That's wild that knows Those things oh the whistler tips dude. I want to smash a fucking rock through one of their fucking Yeah, you gotta get out of the city. You're getting too old for this shit get too old for it We were talking about that fucking today. Oh god jerseys looking pretty good Got a tomato farm out there Tomato farm eat my own crap. Um, all right. This one's from christian ten dollar homie. I've had a question We had ever owned anything from copper fit
Starting point is 00:36:05 Oh, man those socks the t-shirts Remember those bracelets that have like magnetic powers and then pictures started wearing those fucking things. Yeah, the necklaces Yeah, there's a bead in there there No, kick rocks. Yeah, I guess I think the I do like my compression socks though. Well, that's Proving to work. Yeah, that's titanium. It's not copper. Are there metal in there? Yeah wire in there Yeah If I could jab to the metal detector Take on wolverine. No, there's no metal in there. Yeah, I don't know. They're just tight socks
Starting point is 00:36:42 They go up really high Okay, they leave a dent too when you get it when you get into the hotel and I take those babies off Who talking about who let the dogs out? Yikes. That's a good feeling peeling those things off Oh, and they're probably so your leg probably goes like and then steps in to wear like the sock like there's a there's a Brutal there's a overhang for all the fluid that's being kept up from from the socks Mostly Gatorade. They did it to my dad when he had a congestive heart failure They had a the doctor was like, you're fine. It's game compression socks Fuck that could be it
Starting point is 00:37:19 Yeah, damn I mean, don't you go to the doctor though? I do I'm usually just chit chat See anything good for breakfast? Yeah Um, that's what I was worried my knee was for a little bit What that because my ankle does swell up. It's a brain tumor in my knee Golly kippy, do you know anybody who's ever had this I get calls like that trying to solve problems. My knee is scoliosis Uh, no because my ankle
Starting point is 00:37:48 Um, was was a little was a little swelled up Swelled up swelled a little swole And the knee was hurting and I was worried that it was going up But I was I've been checked for lymphedema and they said it's not my heart and all that stuff because when that started happening I had it all checked out Just just fatty McMuffins How you doing we have all checked but how do you feel you're doing with the weight loss challenge that's currently happening? Not great I'll be honest with you
Starting point is 00:38:16 Just this past week. I've been injured sure and there was a lot of food around where I was You know Well, wishers and whatnot. What are you gonna do? I can't fight a party tray I'll try Get them in a headlock. They got those zeps down there, too. Yeah. Hey, you ever have a zip? I don't know what that is Uh, it's like a Like a zeppelie. No, it's a sandwich. It's like a it's like an italian hoagie. I call them zeps though
Starting point is 00:38:44 It's one place makes them that down down the down the street called eaves chili. Shout out to them thick piece of raw onion Heartburn something as easy as 500 beans. I've ever made daddy. Oh If you don't think I'm filing for bankruptcy before I step on a chapter 11 And 13 and I'll take a number four, please Chapter 11 supersize what's chapter 13? Uh, there's one that means you don't have money and then the other one means is uh kind of like a business tool to like Chapter 11 is that is the yeah, I guess chapter is what?
Starting point is 00:39:24 To get to get out of any business pinch. Toby. Look at that up. I think it's No, I think chat file chapter 11 is bad chapter 13 is the one that's like rich people use to like Reorganize wealth to determine how they're gonna pay you or something like that. That's Luke by the way. I know chapter 13 Is the bankruptcy for a business. Yeah. Yeah, but 11 for reorganization Oh 11's reorganization chapter 13 is like I have no money. Exactly. Are you wearing a t-shirt? No, you're that you're you're that open Yeah, how many buttons do you got how many you just got two buttons? You have more unbutton than button and you got crazy chest hair The new guy luke is in here flexing on us. You look you just slept with a married woman
Starting point is 00:40:09 You're about to redo your vows. Watch out Keep how about that butcher box a butcher box butcher by who but your butcher backs Everybody knows butcher box. Who don't love the fucking butcher box. You know the bozos and the homies do because they keep coming back They keep sending me pictures all the fucking of the cash of meat. They get let's go gang. Do yourself favor. It's the fall What does the fall mean? Turkey gobble gobble bitches. That's right. And let me tell you something go to the grocery store Do yourself a favor try to find a free rage antibiotic free turkey down there It's trash. It's probably from fucking three years ago. Yeah, no kidding. That's from like canadian thanksgiving 1986
Starting point is 00:40:49 Do yourself a favor get one delivered from butcher box and the other stuff they got there's unbelievable too Free range wild caught grass fed grass finished top quality merchandise here throw it right in the fees freezer You're ready to go. Well, you got to probably go somewhere to pick this up No bozos get what you want the world delivered right to your doors that free shipping in the continental us No surprise fees choose from a variety of our box options from curated to customized change your plan whenever you want Enjoy the range of high quality cuts that are hard to come by at the grocery store at amazing value Exclusive member deals so you can save big on your favorite cuts. Like we've said a billion times They say I got I got a fucking bacon and ground beef coming out my ears
Starting point is 00:41:33 Uh, we love it big fans over there at the ryan household. I know the folies love it The main course for thanks David Thanksgiving dinner can sometimes be a main course of stress not anymore but your box is offering our listeners free turkey What with their first order? Sign up at butcher box.com slash a yg use code a yg to get 110 to 14 pound free turkey in your first Shit, are you kidding me call me? What are you doing? How much is that save you on Thanksgiving? That's the whole meal right there. I don't know that anybody can afford green bean casserole. Get a free turkey. That's crazy
Starting point is 00:42:06 That's butcher box.com slash a yg use code a yg to claim this deal do it. Yeah Kevin this is all about ladder ladder Yes, sir gang. Don't put things off that are important to you We all do it dmv this that the other thing one thing you don't want to put off Getting yourself some term life insurance and you can do that over at ladder. No doctors no needles Up to three million dollars in coverage. Do yourself a favor get ladder today. Do not wait Yeah, don't let your family You know holding the bag jam them up one last screw job from the old bozo of the family like me
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Starting point is 00:43:06 So you choose and find out if you're instantly approved Know it and fees cancel anytime get a full refund if you change your mind in the first 30 days So here's the turkey, baby. Go to ladderlife.com slash garbage today to see if you're instantly approved. That's ladder laderlife.com slash garbage ladderlife.com slash garbage doing a back to the show back to the show Ah Jesus. All right, um Talking of this this one's from ed and this this was a big debate of the making the whole uh Slab of bacon or not slab of bacon. That was quite controversial. Uh-huh a lot of people on my side on that A lot of people weren't I would some people weren't
Starting point is 00:43:44 A lot of people cut it in half cut the bacon in half Some people ate it raw. I think more people were on my side on that. I don't think so How many did you get messages and well wishes and whatnot? I would like to see the size of the gentleman and or ladies messaging you Wow too bad blind survey Yeah, both of you are blind to diabetes um All right, this one is from and I get anxious a bit while flying So my wife makes a bunch of bacon and puts it in a ziplock for me to munch and calm me down
Starting point is 00:44:21 We call it pocket bacon That's something I have to do to you. Is he golden retriever? That's beggin strips right there That's crazy, dude bacon calming you down Gets me all fired up. No, I'm about to hit somebody. That's a tell me fighting fucking air horse It's like a five hour energy. That's a different kind of fat He might not be making on a plane. I'm just regardless That's a fat behavior. I wish bacon calmed me down
Starting point is 00:44:54 Nice glass of bacon before I go to sleep. You never did that. I would assume what the warm milk before you go to bed No, that was like what you did in the depression to me. I thought that was horrible stuff. Luke ever get involved in that My dad tried a couple times, but like it take any congeals kind of at the top you put in the microwave or something It's kind of no never warm milk Me either. No, it's cocoa Every night. No Oh some nights we'd have a cocoa before we went to bed Yeah, we would do tea sometimes as a kid tea. Yeah, my mom my mom would drink it
Starting point is 00:45:31 So I would take oh whatever. Yeah, who was a cup. It's like having a cup of coffee before you go to bed No black tea. Yeah, it's a caffeine. Yes. It's not a cup of coffee I think it has more cat. I think there's more caffeine in black tea than there is in coffee I don't know. He's been he's been pulling out a lot of bullshit facts and he ends up being right new toby. What do you got? Black tea is caffeinated, but you just would use a non-caffeinated tea. Yeah, maybe I was drinking non-caffeinated tea Hit the search button Get your opinion on this black. He's not heaven. Do you think these dirt balls at the caffeinated tea at their house? Do you think Denise was drinking caffeinated tea on a week night? Probably
Starting point is 00:46:10 Come down from the wine Get her head on straight Black tea and coffee are similar. Damn. There you go. You were wrong. You said more so I win kippy wins put it in the Wind column fair enough Black tea has less caffeine. Yeah less, huh? I'd like to see you after the show Toby always makes me look good None of my facts are ever right hits the buttons a little bit that says I'm right. Um, he's a team player luke
Starting point is 00:46:41 You don't sign these checks Very true. No, I know he knows who daddy is And if you get one from me, it's gonna be postated for a while It's gonna be in another person's name, too Hey, just just make it out the cash Some of your dad's checkbook Did your dad do like a big tea? Is that what it is? Can you do your dad's autograph?
Starting point is 00:47:06 Signature. He's not famous His dad's Shannon Sharpe. Uh-huh No, I mean like I mean, I who's checking like a permission slip in high school maybe or something. I don't know if I ever told you Can you do it dude? It's like comical like comical how bad my father's is like Horrible, uh-huh looks like a second grader doing cursive. I'm not even joking to the point where every time I would get called in by new teachers being like
Starting point is 00:47:37 this is Why didn't you have your father sign this because like if I did bad on a test And he actually had to sign it and I would be like, do you think I'm fucking stupid enough to hand in this? I'm like, this is I have tea before bed lady. I'm like, this is so bad I've you would catch me in a heartbeat. It's that bad But we see me my brother used to use that to our advantage Because once he got known that he had a really bad one It was just easy to do
Starting point is 00:48:05 And they go, oh, yeah, mr. Ryan's is horrible later. Plus he played ball. He signed a lot of stuff Yeah, he didn't fucking didn't he didn't give a fuck I mean, he did but he'd be like, you know, you got to get this up Whereas my mom would be like, we got to sit down. I'd be yelling You gotta talk about my brother be like, don't let me fucking have to talk to you about this again. I go You got a big as I'm hopping out the car Hey, whatever he's signing all he's signing on the fucking center console with a fresh 20 and a BB gun Fucking later. I'll see you next weekend pops
Starting point is 00:48:38 I'm out Make sure you stock up on the fucking wow. He's tea. Well, yeah I like those pretzel goldfish Ah, yeah, my mom would freak out too. My dad, yeah, they would talk to you like they worked for you You know, they would talk to you like they were there, you know, just want to see a little more hustle Give you a little hustle. You're about your parents. Yeah But my parents signatures Denise had a solid one that was like catholic school fucking hit you with the rulers if it wasn't good
Starting point is 00:49:09 I don't know if my parents trust you was left handed. That's hard Fucking goes off on a fucking. Yeah, dog leg left midway through the name I don't know if my parents were trained by the CIA, but their signatures were impossible Really to duplicate. Yeah impossible Because they cared back in the day. Mm-hmm. I mean we sign stuff. I signed Lisa all that. I don't it's just fucking Whatever you ever sign on one of those electric pads
Starting point is 00:49:35 Fucking That like you have to sign stuff now like due to covid everything, you know, like hey sign on, uh, adobe or whatever I just like yeah Later, can you write in cursive new guy luke? It would take me a few Minutes to relearn it. I really what about you? Probably. Yeah Big cursive guy. We only used it. You know, we learned it in second I think to third and then that was we were we I used it all the way through
Starting point is 00:50:01 High school. I had everything had to be in cursive. No Wow, we weren't turning anything handwritten at that point. Really? No, yeah That well 10 years that was it Yeah, it's when compute. I mean nine computers hit in the 90s. That's when I was in You know, I was Eight, I mean we had computer class in second third grade shout out the organ trial shout out the fucking number munchers. I fucking hated organ trial It was great, dude
Starting point is 00:50:27 Whack, I didn't get it. Yeah, I mean, but you're coming from like you were probably older So you're like this is other kids stupid. I'm gonna go, you know, finger pop a cheerleader. All right Hey speaking my language the spotters dork Um, but yeah, I mean I was like four. I'm like or whatever seven six. I'm like, this is sweet I'd be weird to like it if you could drive a car kids were we a computer didn't come into our home until I was in college and I took it with me it was um It wasn't a dell gate was an epson. It was an epson epic. Aren't they salt?
Starting point is 00:51:02 Take a bath with it cool down It was an epson and it had had nine floppy disks that you had to put in that type something up I had a printer though I have I have one now. I own a pretty cat getting murdered Everything's real jiffy till they go to bring out the receipt, but other kids. I think we're more Uh, computer knowledgeable than me I literally every single person on the planet's more computer knowledgeable than you true now Even now true true. Um, but I even own a computer. Do you?
Starting point is 00:51:35 No, I don't holy shit. I don't own a computer The bird does got a laptop and fucking work stuff computers a lot of shit. Uh-huh. I'd use my phone These are my phone. It's easier. I don't rub your formula, huh? Hey, though, hold it in this hand from you on in the other. All right getting busy I'm in and out two seconds to really get off. Oh, that's good Are you doing on the couch? Never sitting on your couch Fucking dirt bag. What do you want me to do? I mean rubbing on yourself in the in the closet like a gentleman. Hey, listen um bros I don't have to get the e-drills apparently. Can't I'll get our kicks off walking down the street?
Starting point is 00:52:14 I'm guys gotta put a little work. This one. I don't even get this is from uh SCI first time long time is it garbage or lighted joint in the microwave? Hmm. I heard like I remember people used to put blunts in there for like a second or two just to dry them out Or dry them out like if you if you licked it too much instead of doing the lighter Popping in the microwave for three seconds or whatever. I remember that But how do you light a joint way? How do you have that light on the end? I don't think that works Maybe that's a new guy. Look see if you can light a joint in the uh
Starting point is 00:52:43 In the microwave, that's crazy. That doesn't make sense. What if the what if it lit in the middle? You know what I mean? I would suck dude. There is my there goes my doobage Now they probably mean to dry it out I put a pair of sneakers in there To mold your feet at baked potato Oh Um What do you got there seems like a fire hazard? Yeah at the very best. Yeah, that's no good. He must have he must have meant to
Starting point is 00:53:17 It's a dry out of it I don't know this guy's bonkers clearly all hopped up on fucking reefer. It's a little weird. Okay. You never smoked bananas, right? People smoked banana peels back in the day banana peels. Yeah, something like that. We would smoke cinnamon sticks It's coming back on tiktok and stuff people are like shaving off the banana peels for blunt wraps Okay, now this was you smoked the banana peel and it got you a little higher or something I thought I remember we didn't fuck with it. We smoked uh Cinnamon sticks, you know like the the come like rolled. Yeah, you could fucking light it And like fucking smoke it and that was like before we got our hands on burnies
Starting point is 00:53:56 Remember a 1.2 We smoked this stuff called tube grass. We were fucking idiot. We just wanted to smoke I was just young dude nine Geez, and it was just like a weed like it was like a like a piece of hay kind of and you broke it And we get a lighter and just like sitting the woods in a tree fort and just fucking would you inhale it? Yeah Would you inhale the cinnamon stick? Yeah, would it fuck you up a little bit? I don't know nine huh
Starting point is 00:54:23 We used to fuck with um Crack Now it was before crack we'd get it down at felton street The formaldehyde E No, yeah formaldehyde wet wet what what dude wet is way different than cinnamon sticks cinnamon sticks are for children and desserts Fucking wet is for fucking drug addicts and dead people
Starting point is 00:54:48 Nice cappuccino Yeah, what the fuck it was tea leaves or something soaked in formaldehyde or yeah wet Okay Yeah, yeah, that's in training day when he looks at him. He's like No, that was we had it was wet because he looks hey, he looks at him because I didn't know you get wet Ward But I don't think it was weed There was weed in that dipped in formaldehyde. I think but this was like tea leaves in formaldehyde
Starting point is 00:55:14 Much better for you It was organic at least I was wondering does any caffeine in those tea leaves. It was bigelow. Yeah, uh, jesus Man, no never cinnamon Yeah, I was fucking so stupid never put drugs in the microwave Put weed in the freezer With a little you know what we used to do
Starting point is 00:55:34 It was real nice if you got a nice bag of kind bud Okay, that's what we called it back and told you are yeah kind bud. Otherwise, it was dank dank was big dank Was it dank? Shwag shwiggits. That's what that's what we started with. It started off dank And my guess in my head at the time was kb dank mids shwiggits
Starting point is 00:55:59 shwag Brick weed brick stems and seeds Anyway, if you got a nice bag of kind bud nice eighth you wanted to keep it fresh You'd put it in a little tupperware container with a little orange orange peel or something. Yeah, that didn't work Ah, sucked fucking you looked real nothing nothing's fucking worse than like 14 year old stoner Science, you know what I mean? No, I hear the seeds are good Put a skittle in there fucking bill took a seed home. He's growing it in his attic. Yeah, okay, steve
Starting point is 00:56:32 You don't even know how to germinate him You gotta put in the microwave dumbass What's the matter with you? Um All right, let's see. He does don't want to throw more of your upper up. We're having a good time Um, this one's from ac dun. Uh, do you own any household appliances that require pliers or a screwdriver to turn it on properly? At the moment well
Starting point is 00:57:01 We have an issue with the turlet Where we have to keep a screwdriver handy right now because they fucked with the water pressure in the building And we had an incident which I might have discussed on the pod About the water going everywhere. This wouldn't just shut off the a backless toilet Yeah, and it has the has a flushometer on it. They're called valve. Yeah. Yeah, and it was just going I told you this never told us this And they were supposed to check everyone and he didn't every apartment to make sure that the valves were
Starting point is 00:57:31 In the right spot, but no, um I remember tv's we had to have the pliers. This is going way back. Yeah Going way back because the button was gone I don't remember anything specific. We always had like our fridge for a long time At the pieces house you'd have to I mean too long eight 10 years maybe Wouldn't close right you had to like
Starting point is 00:57:58 Lift it and push it in and drop it down. Oh, yeah That was for a decade. I think a proper decade. That's what made it yours though. Yeah made it special You had to tell people. Hey, I'll get it. Just leave. I'll get you got to lift you got to put a hitch in it You know what I mean? I thought they would let a few things. We had so many instructions Sure things in our house to To older people like the remote pull it out. Click it back in hit it down to like Yeah, of course, you just get used to it switch out the roll the batteries or something I had that with my phone because I just got a new phone
Starting point is 00:58:30 But the phone I had before it it was like slowly dying the left wouldn't work the button the I wouldn't work If I wanted to type numbers I had to turn it to the side You just get used to doing that stuff and just roll with it. Sure. Um, the only thing my my mother didn't tolerate Was and I used to freak me out when I would go to like a friend's house And they would have this if there was no light bulb in the refrigerator Oh, no, that's like a power outage. No, thank the bulb. I know what I'm saying It feels like you're in a power outage. It feels like everything's getting warmer real good I wouldn't fuck with anything unless there was a light in there
Starting point is 00:59:03 Everything seems bad right away. Then if you had a buddy whose Parents refrigerator's light was out. It's a good chance the whole fridge smelled like coleslaw like a weird way I feel like everything was wet too. It was all everything was like switching Now temperature temperatures, you know, what's nice is the other light watch your meatloaf cooking. Mm-hmm Good gentlemen, we get this. This is one of the common questions. We've mentioned before uh, we it's probably like weekly we get it, but Turning the stove on to heat the house we did that a lot. Yeah in the morning Fucking making it, you know making you a fucking
Starting point is 00:59:41 Fried egg sammy with the oven open and she's in a fucking ski jacket. She's about to go in a fucking ski lift This one Also, I forget how big the show is now It's a quite a big show and I have a lot of family and friends that listen shout out to the bozos in the homies We love you. Yeah, but the fucking chicken And we got to teach we got to have a chicken sandwich code for the live for the for the public apps Because all this shit's getting back to fucking Denise somebody's I catch a rash in his shit every time I see
Starting point is 01:00:11 I heard you talking about you telling his story about how I fucking yeah Yeah, I got that too. What was she bitching about the other day Patty was coming at me about something you told them this you told them that Terry I had a good time with her the other day We were talking about something and I said something crazy I said something like I said not to do something Because it would lead to this this and this
Starting point is 01:00:38 all right, um And normally the people somebody would have been like that would shut up. What are you talking about and we were driving and she's like Oh, yeah, that's pretty good. Oh god, you too. She know it. Oh man, easy Yeah, mama craig craig you two are you two together are Wacky tobacco like Danny's lover and you guys are getting wet together Fucking smoking sherm the plan is all we kank ripping heaters. Um But fuck what there was something oh For the longest time in the Montego
Starting point is 01:01:15 Shout out to him. Um, I used to have to it could we get stuck in park. Do you remember this? Yeah, we get stuck in park I'll remember the night That might have been that was the trip The impetus of are you garbage? Remember we were driving back from Outuna And we that was the way I was making funny for drinking milk at dinner Remember and we laughed and we laughed and we laughed and we stopped at that wacky fucking gas station
Starting point is 01:01:42 Oh, it was real sketchy. Yeah, and the guy came out from the back. Remember that was like Four in the morning, maybe in the middle of fucking Pennsylvania. Yeah, we thought they were getting robbed or something like that I didn't know what no, we thought they were gonna come after us. So you were like fucking let's go Oh, yeah, and then they were like, oh the bathroom's around back and he was like it was like that scene in casino with fucking Then you're like, yeah, keep going and I'm like I got my fucking spidey senses went up and I was like new way I ran back in the car then they think you should all pee on myself They came out to be like, oh remember they started it was like jeepers creepers or whatever They came out of the front to be like, no, you're doing it like where you going?
Starting point is 01:02:19 And I couldn't get the montego was stuck in park one of them was a woman I remember yeah, there was a woman and a guy. I think two women and a guy and you were like You were like fucking go man go and they were walking closer to the car And dude, there's not a soul inside like there's probably not a person for 500 miles It would have had to blow the propane tank to kill it Yeah, uh-huh. That's how we would have done it though like the end of tremors. Thank you. That's what I want to see crazy No, but you're go. I remember you're like fucking go dude It was one of those things where you're like and I'm like shut the fuck up like I'm like relax
Starting point is 01:02:50 I got I need to concentrate because like you had to feel the clicks in it to get it You know what I mean like you had to really like a fucking safe crack It was and you were screaming. I remember being like shut the fuck up man. I gotta get like just shut up and let me do this Fucking dude, we peeled the fuck out of there. You got a stethoscope on the wheel You're like, hey man, you're like they made the call the cops the buzzer coming They sent the signal the call went out the call went out, but we gotta wrap her up gang We love you to death. We love you so much for tuning in come see a live show gang. Mm-hmm a couple opportunities charlotte uh
Starting point is 01:03:28 Atlanta guys you have two shows in Atlanta play the red clay comedy festival atlanta get those fucking tickets Those are gonna be a good fucking time. Yeah, you can just get tickets um Yeah, you don't have to buy passes to the Uh festival you can just buy individual tickets unless you want to or you want to of course. Yeah, I'm just letting you know You have multiple options there. Um And then there's another show in road island on sale right now And another show in boston those shows will most likely sell out as well
Starting point is 01:03:53 So if you're thickening around kicking rocks get those fucking thickies make a move gang. We love you also Hold on. We have merch available. Why have why have new guy look here? merch available and also go follow the clip channel the are you garbage there you go Clip channel new guy. Luke is in charge of that. There he is those numbers are creeping We post, you know anything from shorts, you know under a minute 10-minute chunks of uh, some of the best heavy hitters and highlights most chest hair on youtube check it out peace

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