Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Poison Ivy Face w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Promo Code: Helixpartner25 Box of Awesome: https://www.bespokepost.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, baby, have we got good news for you? We just added a second show down there, a film more for December. Yeah, gang, you guys were awesome. The Army garbage came correct. We sold out the first show four months before the frickin show. So we added another, let's do it again, baby. Tickets on sale right now at rugarber.com. Tickets on sale right now for all other cities on the state trashy tour on our website.

Links in the description. Get them. Do it. Yeah. Game before we get to the episode, let's talk about Mitt, links in the description, get them. Do it. Game, before we get to the episode, let's talk about Mint Mobile, baby. Ooh, shut it. Best in the bid, shout out to Mint Mobile. We all know inflation is everywhere.

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Let's Get The Disho! Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is R U garbage.

Hey Y. So at little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I think you're to be classy. Yeah. Or if you're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H Foley coming think you're to be classy. Yeah. Or if you're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition.

She's out doing a little back to school shopping. Okay. Taking some classes this fall. What is she? Karate. But still. Yeah. Got him.

My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of RU Garber. She's great in a weekend. He'll let his hair down, I'll hang up, a come Monday morning, baby. It's all about business. Sure. Give it up for Kim Jong-Ry and everybody.

Didn't we take yesterday all? What's up everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate me a few subscribers. KJ, whoom. Rate review, subscribe and high two. And it's full video available. And you too, as you know, those numbers are...

Shruder, oh! Cuckin'! And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patrion.com, such are you garbage. Also, I was told by one of the homies to mention, it's an app. Ah, of course. If they don't know, it's an app.

They might not know it's an app. So you download to your phone, all the contents available there. You sign up, you get bonus episodes, AYJ, hard feelings, all of the fucking goal videos we've done just all the bonus content that is need a crib that is that that check it the fuck out gang how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extra to near the old magic man huh very funny Chicago comic by way the back woods at North Carolina

group on the farm down there with a big old on give it up for T-bone McScruff and Toby McMonley and I heard there was a big on the farm down there with a big old dog give it up for T-bone McScruffins to be Mcmountain and I heard there was a big on the farm What up dudes how's that buddy like that? Fire That's good. Let's go. Oh, let's go.

Big man's been right in a Tuddy end a new Deepon bust of my balls. Yes, dude dog days of summer we're bringing it home It's about to get cold and gloomy for now. It's sunny and beautiful. I love it. I love it we're bringing it home. It's about to get cold and gloomy for now. It's sunny and beautiful I love it. I love it every minute of it man I love the fucking end of the fucking summer I love it that humidity starts to fucking taper off a little bit

You can smell and feel the fall and like a like a Saturday afternoon We'll get a little bit crisp and you can like feel it coming fucking birds are starting up the fucking fillies They're gonna be in the postseason. It's gonna be fucking sure Plus you see those back to schools signs pop it up and you're like, yeah, not me pussy enjoyed that shit I used to love that though. No school. Yeah, the first day of school. I loved yeah, what yeah you got fresh gear You can see the broads who grew up over the Who know a lot of But yeah find yourself fucking coming early November.

You're in the thick of that. Oh, I hated it, but like fresh pencils and binders and the book bags nice. Just look at it. Just look at your middle of folder going, I can't wait to crumple all this up. Plus there was never a grocery store order like the first week of school.

You were like, it was like, K-San, you were a SAC. It was like case on. You are correct. Or don't come at all. Man, blows a white bread as high as the eye could see. Really started trailing off around mid September. Yeah. That once that first pack of fucking fruit roll ups was gone. It was like, it was every man for themselves in the last year.

It's a Christmas. I know. Man, really? Jamie. Love it. Love it. But that being said, man, really jam. Yeah, love it. Love it. But that being said, also, gang, huge announcement. We are announcing our second show in Philadelphia, baby.

At the film where we sold the first one out four months ahead of time, gang. Shout out to the mother, fucking army of garbage. We love you. So tickets are on sale. I believe tomorrow or sell now promo code garbage. Get them the link. I'll be in the description a whole nine yards. Pick them up gang. Come on. Let's fucking party. We're closing at the

year down here in Philadelphia out there. Fully. Yeah, it's going to be nice. Come see us. I did something this weekend. No, Jesus. Hey, pick it. Sometimes you just turn into channel three news give it up for Chuck Chakrason over here Come on Chuck Chakrasons all right Hey, I did something over the weekend gang Yeah, I open a hope so I hope you to just lay there and you're fucking in your I did a lot. I did a lot Okay, I'm a fucking tell us about who put who to who to I want to know the lead in story like I did a lot I did something this weekend. All right, tell us I did a lot I did a lot.

Nine people were shot yesterday you go over your weekend. There's Chuck Jackson, three alarm fire and you're talking about to God. The short I'm Chuck, Chuck. I had a great top story tonight. I did some stuff this week. Laura Ted. Glad to shrimp case. Did you get this weekend? I'll tell you. I cleaned out my refrigerate. Oh my gosh.

Hot GMATG. Wait. Wait. We should. Why did you save this for a normal broadcast? We should have kicked into the fucking onto the program. I mean, this just in. It should be live streamin this So I love how cleaning Cleaning my refrigerator. It's just fat guy eats old eggs Really cleaned out my fridge man. There was some real suspect items in there, too. Oh, yeah, it's a real good feeling That's why that's why I brought it up. It's a real good feeling to clean out that fridge sure get to get the chlorox out

Bleach it all down, put your, put your fresh produce in there. Like you're cleaning up a murder. I know. Yeah. Get the yellow tape out and everything. Throw in why? The first 48 minutes, gotta get that done.

A lot of hair in there, a lot of hair in there. Okay. On the bottom. Underneath the crispers. I get you. Which I wanted to ask you, do you guys use that shit? The crispers? Do you, are you, are you, come part, come out?

No. Are you department savvy? Like does the lunch week go in the lunch week? I would be surprised if his refrigerator is plugged in to be honest with you. I would be real surprised if that thing was running right now. I got like five of every type of condiment and I don't know which one's still good. Yeah, I'll be in there.

I was gonna break that. I have something for you by the way. I'll break you back a bottle of hot sauce. Ooh, yeah. I was down in C aisle. Uh-huh. City known for their hot sauce. What?

What? Okay. Would you steal it from the diner you were at? I was gunna, but then they were like, oh, they sell it across the street at the Acme. It's a local place, Hank sauce. Okay, awesome. I think you're gonna like it. Sick, I'm sick.

Yeah. Um, yeah, we don't, we don't use anything. My wife's all, my wife's cookie, Patookie, like. Is the butter in the butter thing? No. The butter that's in the fridge? The stock of, the surplus of butter Usually is I used to put a lot of drugs in there in the butter thing that was always if you keep your we

There was a while where like you know keeping your weed fresh was like a thing Everybody always jars you jar it that was like yeah put in a jar and stick it in there. Yeah, I don't know No, I was never a big fucking Reefer head. I did keep my beers in there. No, I don't know. No, I was never a big fucking reefer head. I did keep my beers in there. Shout out to it. Um, we're all over the place. It's chaos. It drives me fucking nuts. There's things in there that there's like a half drank can of fucking La Croix. There's a, it's like it drives me fucking nuts. Half a can of soda in the fridge. That's insane to me. You should be fucking taking out back and shot. It's insane until you roll in there at two o'clock in the morning. That's insane to me. You should be fucking taking out back and shot. It's insane

until you roll in there at two o'clock in the morning, dying at thirst. And you have a full can of so like I don't understand. The half a can gets colder. You say it sure, but there's also other options as well. If that's your, listen, if you're in a position where you're saving a half a can of fucking cola, and that's all you got when you're coming home, you're jammed up, which I'm saying. Sure. That's when you appreciate it the most. You know what I did find in there that I dipped in a little bit too much.

On the, you know, sometimes you go, you open the door, you don't really see thing, you don't really see really what's there. Because there's so much stuff. Man, there was a fucking thing, a tropic can of sitting there, a big boy. That must have been just sitting there for weeks. I don't even remember buying it.

Okay. And untouched screaming cold. What's going on in there? You're missing a half gallon of fucking traffic. You guys got inventory issues. Jesus Christ. To the back. Uh, yeah, that's how it is a good feeling cleaning it.

Clean any sort of forward momentum cleaning anything. Such a right tone. Yeah, I do respect. I got something I was I was over at the at the new the new home Casa de Kip the Casa de Kipy out there in any town USA suburb night Um, and we're having some people come and do work Right we're getting quotes done for work. Quotes. Quotes. Come by and give a quote.

And I don't know, these people go for the hard sell, right? They want to come in and they want to close ass. See a sucker like you standing in. But we had one this morning. It was an early AM. It was 8.30. 8.30 appointment. And that's how they do it.

They come out and they take a look first. Yeah, and they give you the whole rig and the roll the whole nine yards. Whatever. My whole bag over the head. Sure. Yeah. My whole thing is what is the, as a purchaser, as the, as the, as the homeowner, as the guy being sold?

What is my requirement? Refreshment wise. War draw wise. Oh. So I have to, it's why I have to really came to the right place. I have to. It's also it's gonna be a to be. I just told you I found orange. I was it. Gentlemen like yourself. I figure you know what the where you got the OJ. I'm just saying or it's early. It's there. I'm not a morning guy. It's an early A.M.

Uh huh. I'm just saying, it's early, I'm not a morning guy, it's an early AM. Uh-huh. Also, it's like, you're selling me on there. I'm not trying to impress you. I'm not putting on a three-piece suit. I get that you probably should shower and door brush your teeth. I think you gotta get a brush your teeth flush from water in your face. I think, uh, pair of basketballs, whatever you slept in. Unless it's something naughty.

Well, I mean, I don't know what you two are up to. It's hard to counter in a gimp mask. Uh, I think he got to me to the cleaner. Bet me over if he catch my drift. I think the anal beads out at least. He's a Tuesday. Um, my whole thing. Yeah, so it's like what he's show up in.

What can I ask where you were getting done? Uh, yeah, we're looking at our getting our floors done. Floor is done. It's a national company. There's a small operation, not a small operation, not a small operation, not a, not a, I don't know if it's national. They have a corporation. It's not Gary's floor. What's he in a suit? Or did he have the unit, like the eyes out in the khakis? Yeah, but not great. Okay. Like he could have been, he's a regular guy. I don't think those clothes were clean this morning if I was good.

Those pants, those pants didn't have a grease in them. I'll tell you that. Gotcha. What were you wearing? Uh, Paranike shorts. Okay. Uh, the shirt I slept in with a neck that looked like I was in a wrestling match.

That's cool. And about a half a hard on it Look a guy I was I was semi-briked up and you're I don't I don't you just roll out of bed for the most part Yeah, that's no good. I'd have I'd have that's no good for you. You're in groggy mode He's gonna go in there and fucking see that's guys a fucking idiot You know what the fuck you is with the dog? Yeah. He's mine. Putting floors on the ceiling. I felt when he walked in and saw me, he was like, this guy don't have any money.

Like he did, he was like, he walked in the office. Should be, buddy, your pantsome. He's your handler here. Yeah, it was- Go get your mother. I do think in a perfect world, should you shouldn't be what you wore That's I mean that's insane. I just think you should be fresh and alert with a half a cup of coffee I did have half a cup of coffee. Did you offer him a cup? I didn't you didn't you offer him anything?

My wife did okay. Yeah, she goes do you want anything? You said no, I'm okay anything Do you want a cup of coffee or water water or anything? I should be sure. Okay, that's different. Which we didn't have any water at all for me. It was getting a glass of water. It's fine. It's a burbs. Sure.

Clean. And we had like a half a, half a very half a pot of coffee. That was, you know, it was like a fucking jiffy. It was two, three days old. We got a half an avocado in here. You like, you be, you be, you be, you be. Let's split it with you. Couple of slices of bacon we can throw on for you if you want.

Uh, yeah, it was tough. I do think as I was doing, I'm like, this is a dirt baggy thing. You should be presentable, I would say, honestly, you're conducting business. What you're wearing doesn't matter. I disagree. No, I think what I'm saying is what you had on was fine,

but you just got to freshen up You got to be fresh. You shouldn't be conducting business in the closious lepid. You're not conducting business That's business words. That's a business meeting. Is it you're getting some fucking plywood put in your house? I don't know why you're demeaning the what I'm getting installed What do you do? It ain't fine. I'll tell you that. What kind of fake flooring you and putting that that's what everybody's that trap house you got. That's going down.

Uh, meeting a trap, baby. Um, where did you conduct this said meeting? This business meeting at the kitchen counter at the kitchen counter. It's the only furniture we have is the bars. There's no so there are stools. Yeah. So

you haven't have a seat. Yeah, he was walking around checking the place out. Checking a place scope and probably casing the joint. Yeah, what's he gonna steal the bar's tools? They're ain't nothing in there gang. Uh, but I do think as I was doing it, I was like, this isn't right. I understand you got to freshen up and change the guard.

What's the guard wearing? She changed into their day clothes. Day clothes, yeah. I think she's showered too. Workout stuff or like, like, uh, I get it. No, it wasn't workout stuff. I don't know why you're prying into this.

You really breezed over what I was wearing. And now you want the fucking deets on this. Huh, you little horn dog. Uh, it's the Lulu lemon system. Yeah, just some horn dog Absolutely lemon Yeah, just some sort of like day dressy type what you to both of you should be doing is To really get the upper hand and then negotiating you guys should both be matching Both be wearing the same thing when they walked pretty good look like real freaks also give him the smallest chair put him on like an auto Men or something that goes about say. Yeah. I had a body of make him stand on the other side of the screen door. Growing up. We don't know you.

Growing up my buddy any time we needed to ask his dad for like anything or like he would sit in his dad's office and his dad had this huge fucking luxurious leather chair and he'd make him sit on like a little tree stump. His dad would wait. His dad would make him sit on the little tree stump. I'm just like I thought you many flipped it on his dad. Somehow he got real power spins around his dad walk here. Plus you don't care if you pay the bills. This is my out. I need we do. Yeah.

It did it did fell. It felt not it felt very uncouth what I was doing. Mm-hmm. You're an uncouth guy. I'm an uncouth guy. I didn't know I'm learning. He knew money. He wasn't happy with, he wasn't thrilled.

Which? With what? What, you were wearing? I think he was just like, oh, do you walk into a house with no furniture and I'm in my own room? Just move day! He doesn't eat that. I was like, oh, you've been here five years.

What? You stink. So what's the word, can I ask? What? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha came in about double the the rough budget we worked on see on time he was late he was late that's what I said fuck you get my fucking I did have a tux on yeah I change I change back into what I wore I know he was 15 minutes late I think all you got to do is not have sleepers in your eyes and offer the guy a cup of coffee or a bottle of water I think that's yeah now there's more of a I think there I think that's it. Yeah. Now there's more of a, I think there I think there's a high, you're also your wardrobe level is lower than.

His lower than most, I feel. Toby, if somebody was coming over your house, you're talking to me or Toby? You. Oh, this is where you want to be approved. Would you? want to be approved. Would you? First of all, it's you're talking to two. No offense. We're losers. I don't want to do when somebody shows up. I know, but you're, yeah, I understand.

And who do you think's coming to give Toby a quote? A shroom guy? What are you put a pair of pants on when a shroom guy come? Look, that's, that's all I'm saying. You put a pair of pants. I'm not gonna guy come? Look, that's that's all I'm saying you put a pair of pants I'm gonna make a purchase right now We're gonna fuel the couple other offers and then we'll get back to other guys coming in They're both just sitting on the couch like a waiting group So not the paperwork. I'm saying it's not like fucking time Warner's coming to fix something where you're like Yeah, it's over there like this is like an appointment set and, you know, a money's being transaction.

There's a maybe. Oh, not today. There was. He was like, hey, you want to do a deposit? I deposit buddy, kick the rocks out from it. I ain't got it. Get the fuck outta here. At the penny.

Yeah, he goes, so what are we gonna have to do to get this? I just meant, did he get you one of those? A little bit. Well, it's a bigger issue, there's more issues running and that's a bulk kind of stakes. There's a lot of issues with it. Yes. So, it's gonna be more than we anticipated.

A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. It's gonna be more than we anticipated. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and go for the clothes to be honest with it. He was like, this is, he was like, I'd be an asshole if I tried to close you on this today being how high it was. It was dumb. Because it was so much work to do. A lot of work to be done. A lot of extra work to think, yeah, the ballpark, the original fucking low ball that is a downfall.

Yeah, listen pal, your foundation's all marshmallow. I don't know what to tell you. I would assume that you've never not received anybody at your home not wearing like shorts and maybe maybe not a shirt No, I know I would never not have a shirt on that's crazy. That's correct not have a shirt on to a guy Like when they came in when you had that little problem a few months ago When they came in to give you a long time and quote on that and they were Schmed Bugs Bed Bugs two years ago Quote on that and they were Schmedbugs. Yeah, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had How did you receive that guy when he came in to give you an estimate? What's up? How did you receive that guy covered in blood with the knife in my

My man was a war dude. What the fuck are you talking about? We're in a gilly suit. They told me there'd be more of you. Whatever grab a good grab a knife and get in here You're jumping the water. We're tankin jump that clipboard pick up a weapon son Welcome to the shit soldier. Yeah. Huh. Oh god, I'm all over the place over here. I'm all thumbs today.

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What do you want? You don't want to dig a stink? The guy tried to charge a triple in the house. Thanks. Trying to help you out saying don't sweat it. You the guy with the truck. Yeah, no, but I'm also saying for the people out there, as somebody who's learning this.

I am sure that they answer the door wearing clothes. They're probably on their way to work like normal people You stink hey, that's not nice. I think of a very average Man was like I curious what you were doing home in the middle of the day. No, he didn't He didn't a Power didn't have, he, but did you have to power ball, huh? Mega Millions? A thousand for life.

What did that, man? A thousand for life. Man, all right. That keeps you rich. Oh, man. That keeps your feet on the ground, baby. I don't think it is, but I always thought they, like every Friday, you get a check for a G-Hod,

but I don't think it's that. Oh, they, oh, really? I would want that. Oh, they are really I would want that Oh, of course, and I would want to have drug deal Or you just spend it all and make it back. I would want to have to go and pick it up. I got to make a stop roll quick Pick up some fucking giche A little bit of ghee over there. Where do you pick that up? Pennsylvania state lottery? Oh, you go to the office probably to soon If you go to the office. Probably the soon. If you go down the big bank, the big checks.

It'd be nice if you went to the place where you bought the ticket, like that guy, OGE, a G hot. We awesome. He rolled into like a sever. Some of them eventually that would turn ugly. Oh, yeah, sure. Get you coming out and stick up kids. Yes.

Born out of run. Every Friday. Same thing. Put it on my ass. Yeah, that's all right. But all that aside, gang, we got a gosh darn family episode. When you sign up for the patreon, we will answer your garbage questions on a air. It's just the best way to do it. And boy, do we have some do'sies.

This one's from J. Hart. Shout out to you at $10. I mean, never have one red. Have you ever been dropped off at a hospital? That's bad. I never thought of that. Yeah, I had dropped off. Yeah, I had. Why? Senior week, class of 94, Wyssahick and Trojan, shooting heroin into my brain.

We got a house for two weeks down in Ocean City. Only made it one, but had the house for two weeks. Sure. I don't know how I Somehow Got the worst case of poison ivy on my face that I've ever had and I hadn't been in the woods in weeks And on a real ladies man The way that would go ladies it started itching real bad and do by the next day. I'm telling you my whole face was covered

like whole face was covered. Like, whole face, swollen, covered, dying. Um, and why didn't your homies hang out with you? Because your Gary was getting all fucked up and drinking a party and they dropped me off. Um, wait, yeah. How do you get poison ivy on your face? I don't know. Get some of your hands and you spread it. It's very spreadable.

And you're a touchy, you're a face touchy guy. I hate all these types. Probably, yeah. Maybe, I don't know. We could never figure it out. Never figure it out. It was only on your face. Only on my face.

Man, that is a mystery only a fully could create. Yeah, only on my face. Oh, only on your face. Only on my face. There was none on my hands, none on my feet. No, it was only on my face. I'm telling you, it was crazy. Oh, man, I never, I only ever had it bad like normal kid. Like, would get it whatever once every couple of years as a kid. Give me a shot. Uh, dude, this, this kid, it was allergic to it that I

grew up with. Joey G was allergic to like horrible and dude his legs I'll never forget to cite of his legs dude. He's like are you sure you want to see it? I'm like yeah fucking my way you got a bad case of sumac. Let me see it dude His legs look like the toxic avenger. It was fucking horrible Like dude there was like pulse it was pulsating. Yeah, I'd get that too. I'm like go home What are you doing in school? We, send the work to the crib. I can... Poison Ivy socks. Fuck.

Socks. Yeah, I haven't had, I mean, I think I only probably had it a handful of times. I mean, put the Kalamine lotion on it, paint Kalamine lotion. That's just socks. This guy gave me a shot of something. Yeah.

I'll be a bit... All right. We can't even. One more brown sugar, man. Get me that OJ out of the fridge, too. Hey, man, we did something that was really fat with oatmeal when we were kids. We always put, uh, what aided out of the tub.

Yeah. No, my mom and dad always put butter in it. There's always a patta butter in our oatmeal. I don't know if that's a normal thing or not. I don't know. Butter a little sugar, a little brown sugar, it's a little cinnamon. We were never make oatmeal fam.

Huge oatmeal family at the Foley's. Apples and cinnamon. Quaker Oats Instant. Ah, never. No, I think it was there. Maybe I didn't eat it, maybe my brother. I just don't remember it even being around that month. It consists, it's like baby food to me.

I can't fuck with it. Never drop you off at the hospital? No, never. You can imagine your dirt bags, buddy, he's doing that. What, roll me out like a gunshot victim? No, dude. Yeah, I have going to the vet to get a fucking knife who is a hospital and you call a lawyer, okay?

Yeah, I'm more of a solve my injuries than the CBS kind of guy, a little super gluing some bandages. I noticed that, you know, you know, what would it take to go to the hospital? What's up? Like, I would need to see bone. Bone?

Yeah, or a very loud pop. Huh. I heard a pop. It's gotta be like excruciating paint. Yeah, it's gotta be something you really like you figure. I, yeah, but like cuts and scrapes. And no one's going to the fucking hospital for that. I would for the, I would assume for a tick one time.

I had a tick on my arm. A lot, you go to the emergency room. Cause I was freaking out. That was about 12. Found that after the shower. Made pat lot. You go to the emergency room. Because I was freaking out. I was about 12, found that after the shower, made Patty take me over to the emergency room. Thought for sure I wasn't leaving. Can you just burn that off or something? Can you just pull it off? He just pulled it off.

Yeah, he just pulled it off. Just gotta get the head. Right. Sometimes you pull the body off and the head stays in there. And barrows in. I was petrified. Did you ever see them on dogs? Where they get like real, they look like real plump fuck.

They look like they're about to explode. Look like corn nuts. Yeah. Yeah, fuck, I hate tigs. My neighbor's dog had it. I was like petting them. What the fuck? Get the fuck off my property with this.

They were growing. You gotta watch them in the, in your place. Ticks everywhere. We're doing flooring in the backyard. Take that all out. That's why a bunch is. Hi you. You want the whole backyard pie?

I'm afraid that I might get a buddies afraid of ticks. All right, this one's from Will see first time long time. You eating the salt at the bottom of a bag of pretzies. I'm not a outdabble. What am I a fucking dickhead? Yeah. You're eating all of the salt. Lick the finger, press it down on it.

Uh-uh-uh. Yeah, that's pure. Yeah. Are you going back in? I'll do it once. Yes. Yes. If I still got soda left.

Really? Yes. That's, you know what, you know what that's, you know what an animal. Great for that. Is the little pretzel, the little yellow box of pretzel sticks. Oh, that's different. That's very granular salt.

That's all right. Sure. And that's all in the packet. That's a self-serving. Sure. But... Bottom of the bag? In a big bag of pretzels, like a banger.

Roll gold or hers or suck on my finger. How do you feel about guys who do the little bit of salt on their beer? What's that? Who are those guys? Yeah, it's like Australians or something? Who are you hanging out with? Old Florida dudes love putting a little salt on their beer.

Salt on the beer. Yeah, just on the other head. It gives it a head or it takes a head away. You gotta take it away. Where are they getting the salt from? On the bar top. Like table salt. I think the lime or something was originally for flies,

wasn't it? Like it was, so like the salt in the lime, so flies don't fly near your beer, I think. Oh, it helps with the bitterness. So if you have like a really strong like double IPA or some shit, it'll, Why I'm ordering it for the bitterness so if you have like a really strong like double IPA or some shit it'll why I'm ordering it for the bitterness what country clubs are you hanging out at okay I don't like it either man I

thought we were gonna trash these dickheads yeah I don't know I mean if I was at the bar my buddy started putting salt in his beer he were were done hey past me the salt I would like to have my own little pepper shaker little pepper Where do bloodies? Like a little like a pan the only time I've seen it was in I won not own Wilson Luke Wilson in World Tana bombs. He was a big bloody Mary guy and he always had a little pepper shaker Well, you know for like three bucks. You can get a pepper shaker. Yeah, check it out There's the barrier to entry isn't that hard on see See what he's for, it's called the personality.

And a lime wasn't the flies. Uh, it was the, the, the rest, the, the metal caps, and then we get rusty. Ah! And he used a lime to wipe the rust away. There you go. I don't think it's very disinfectant. No.

I hate a rusty bottle. Like, when you get a rusty bottle of beer, when like the, the bottle, you can taste the bottle of the... You can't pull it. Sure, a rusty bottle. Like when you get a rusty bottle of beer, when like the bottle, you can taste the bottle. Sure, a little bit. I feel like old buds are something, like bud heavy as you can get. That seal breaks or something. I feel like I haven't had one in a long time,

but back in the day, back when I was a wee lad. All right, let's see. This one's from Tuddy Stepner, if you, is a garbage, if your dad opens up the Buffalo Wild Wings app every time he drives by the restaurant so he can check in and get rewards points. There you go.

That's game in the system. What does that do? What does that do? I think if you're outside and you can log in, it probably checks that your, it registers that you're at a Buffalo Wild Wings. So you get points probably for like every 10 check-ins. Man.

Or something. Never been. Don't know. Wild Wings. So you get points probably for like every 10 check-ins man or something never been Don't know I don't think I've ever been Maybe you tell I've heard Different things. Oh, I've been in an airport. So that's not a fair assessment I haven't been to a stand-alone buff. Do you like giant glasses of flat beer and mediocre wings and Do you like giant glasses of flat beer and mediocre wings? And chicks with tits who small to work at a hooters, come on down to B-Dubs. I don't mind those three things.

Those are all right. Quite the endorsement. Yeah. Let me say we get out of here, head to one. It's very like around us, it would be like Miller's ale house. Is that's like an East Coast chain. Miller's ale house. Well, then I just added Miller's ale. We went down in Orlando, I think It would be like Miller's ale house is that's like an East Coast chain Miller's ale house Well, I just added Miller's went down in Orlando. I think we went to a Miller's. Oh, yeah, Miller's is all right

Be sure. Yeah, it's a just like a Apple bees type thing but Buffalo Wildlings is big on their sports, right? Don't they have like a bajillion TV Yes, I think it's like a Miller's at all and what sense? It's completely different I think it's like a Miller's at all and what sense? It's completely different I think it's like a wall of TVs and like bunch of like sitting bars Something like that I meant in the things that they serve fried food and flat beer to people sure That's what I mean. It's the same. I don't mean the architecturally. It's the same thing I know the floor plan of these goddamn restaurant. I don't know

Yeah, no, it's the same I'm say it serves the same clientele guys who were one fucking boneless wings and a fucking frosty brew. I don't love the boneless wing. Whoa. Sam. Whoa. It's you love because it's a chicken nugget. It's a chicken tender. I never said it. Fuck it wasn't why you don't at me I was at a place in Philly one time, which I'm gonna mention this to you, the where it was just like little after hours place in written house square. It was real shwanky, it was real nice.

The pen and pencil. No, no, no, this is real nice. They took your take out of the bonus when you really bothered Keepee. What? And I would just seem like you were like, there's a licious monkey. No, I'm like, it's a nugget. It's a nugget. I never this is what I'm upset

I'm gonna tell you something. I don't think it's a wing. It's a chicken nugget and sauce Which is all right chicken nuggets coated in sauce though and they lose something but listen Yeah, this place different than a chicken nugget this place took doing here this place Toby Trying to get this out for two minutes here. Yeah. Which one's gonna be out? Hey, tell us that one time in the 80s, you add fucking chicken fingers.

Let's go. The fuck? Toby, what they used to do is, Oh, they dipped him in here. They would take a regular wing and they would go in and they would persistently cut out the bone and then kind of close it back up together

and then fry that. So you could just pop the whole wing in your mouth and it was an actual wing those were awesome That's not a bonus chicken wing that is exactly what that is not the ones your order by definition But I mean that's a very that's the real deal you're eating chicken nuggets soaked in buffalo sauce Okay, so hear me out. I'll tell you what's not bad though buffalo calimari. That'll blow your brains out Shout out to the waterfront house You take that you take that surgically bone-removed wing, right?

Yeah. You put a thin slice of jalapeno and some cheese in there. Now you got to take and wing jalapeno popper. Yeah. Or yeah, buffalo, huh? Wild wings. How are we not turning all of this gear off to go pat and the greatest idea that's ever happened

on this podcast? That seems like a lot of work. We're not the ones doing it, man. We're just doing it. The guy in the back. We give it to our wing guy They're not gonna have you doing prep work. You're telling me we don't you tell me who can't get a wing guy I sure I'll work the fryer though. I'll tell you that Fucking golden brown foley over here come out Chris. Uh-huh real nice Yeah, do we change the oil? No, that's where the flavor is. Yeah, I don't mind that.

No. I don't, I have everyone like you. You see the bar is, yeah. Sure, yeah, I'm like. But there is a place. It was on one of those burger shows where they did like the best burgers or whatever. There is a place somewhere

where they have remnants of the oil from like the 1900s. They just keep adding to it. Oh, I got you. You know what I'm talking about? And they say that's what I think it's for their onion rings or something. They probably, yeah, as a strain it or do something

and they add that back into it. So it's like still conceptually, there's 0.001% of it's from the 1920s. That's all right. I don't know, all right. I don't mind. They go to like a fucking a bar rescue, a fucking what all those kitchen shows and like this is disgusting. I'm looking at it like drop a couple of fucking bonus chicken

attendees in here. Let's fucking get it after the mozzarella stick test first. Yeah, before we start throwing accusations, you can and fucking screaming at people. You can clean the walk in all you want. Fucking leave that fry a later alone I got bigger problems Yeah, a big fan of a dirty fryer fucking sign me up

All right, this on some Joe is a garbage to refer to putting something in the microwave is nukin it or zapping it No, that's yeah, no get no get three minutes. It's Three minutes. How do I think I ever said zap it? We said zap it, but nookin for sure. Yeah. Yeah, nookin. Nookin. Right, nookin. But a boom.

Shout out to the... It is trashy though. Sure. Yeah. But put it in the microwave. I mean, I think there's a different way to say nobody says that. Yeah, that's of course. Put it in the microwave.

I think I, with that accent, doesn't own a microwave. Nookin. Nookin. Yeah. Nookin for a couple a microwave. Nookit. Nookit. Yeah. Nookit for a couple of minutes. You know what's real classy? Is now they have those microwaves that look like drawers in the real fancy new kitchens. Those things are not that sweet, dude.

What are you talking about? Look like drawers. Yeah, it's built into the countertop. It's like a drawer that slides out. You place it in and then it's real future instant shot. I think I've seen that. It's for hot people who never use their microwave. Yeah.

You're gonna get something like that? Probably not. You got a garbage disposal? Yeah. You do. They took the microwave. Yeah, it's not a fucking apartment. They take the microwave.

No, I don't think so. Everybody must stay do. You don't leave the microwaves. When you move. Everybody that's come over has said, I listen, you've also never bought a house, I don't, I haven't bought a house. The first time everybody has come over

and said, it's weird that they took the microwave. Without telling you. Why would you want their microwave? Without telling you. Because it's a technically. Was it mounted in something? In the thing, yeah. Oh, hold on.

Oh, it was above the stove. Not necessarily, no, no, it was on in the cabinet. You know, there's an inside the kitchen cabinet. It wasn't like one that's under the fucking, like, it sits on the table. Was it, was it sitting in that cabinet? I don't know, I didn't see it. It's gone.

It's a fuck, I don't know. Hey, loose brackets. I don't know. You'd want to get a new one though. Would you have kept it? I don't know. Hey, loose brackets. Uh, I don't know. You'd want to get a new one though. Would you have kept it? I don't know. I mean, yeah, if it matched the kitchen, sure. If it was all the same fucking setup,

now I got a fucking, I got a wonky, fucking, uh, microwave. Hmm. No, I think that goes. I, it makes sense to me. And an apartment's one thing. No, but we're not talking about an apartment. Typically, the seller includes all kitchen appliances in the home sale, including the refrigerator, oven, dishwasher, and microwave, if it's built in.

Yeah. If it's built in. It seemed built in. Apparently it wasn't. I mean, it wasn't a fucking countertop one. It matched the rest of the set of the thing they took. You see what I'm saying? Usually above the stove these days.

We have a big rain,, rain, a big, uh, vent. Okay. Alright. Really fucking really against me today for some reason. I'm trying not to be. Well, you're not trying hard enough. This guy's fucking, you don't think it's weird that they took the microwave without running a pie of, hey, FYI, we're leaving everything, but we're taking the one fucking thing.

Not the microwave I'm thinking of. I'm telling you that it's, it's, it's, they took the oven. Yeah, that'd be weird.'re taking the one fucking thing. Not the microwave I'm thinking of. I'm telling you that it's- If they took the oven, yeah that'd be weird. It's the same fucking thing! Not really man. Not really. If it's not, it's- Ah, okay.

Well now there's just a huge hole where the microwave should go. That's different. Was there a door? A door. Is there a door that covers it? No. It's like an exposed, like you see, you see the back of the wall. It looks like someone stole my fucking microwave.

I don't know what the hell. Someone did. That's what it looks like. So when you walked in and it's jarring, like, holy shit. Here's a fixture of the thing that is completely gone, and there's wires sticking out of that. Was there anything in the bill of sale that said that they would leave the mic? The bill of sale? Or whatever you have.

I don't know what they're called. No, I don't know. Receipt. Do you get a receipt? Is there a receipt? that they would leave the way. The bill of sale. Or whatever you have. I don't know what they're called. No, I don't know. receipt. Do you get a receipt? Is there a receipt? I don't like it. And not like you want to the CVS. There's, like, gave me papers.

I haven't looked at. Bill of sale. Did you get that from Django Unchained? No, I don't know where I got it from. A bill of sale is a thing. Like to call, it's old school, I think, though. Yeah. Here's your bill of sale.

Like when you're buying like a oxen or something. I don't think that's like I'm no one's ever been like oh, Kippie. You know, do you want your bill of sale? Do you want me to throw it out? No, the microwave was included as a part of my dowry. Yeah, uh Just one moment please I read the microwave is missing. Yes. Yeah, they jam me up. They stole my fucking microwave Yes, yeah, they jam me up. They stole my fucking my quave But it is what it is not to find a new one. Yeah, get a new one. You want a new one? I have to stop saying that like I'm against you I have to get away those people's microwave what they who the short term I could so I could use a microwave

Yes, that would be I got an extra one if you want it You just told me not to use someone else's microwave now you want to give me a mic? You I'd rather use someone else's microwave now you want to give me a mic I'd rather use that guys microwave who you're probably microwaving your undies and stuff in there Kathy but I'm oh no way Yeah, man, she likes to heat it up a little bit Just just fire it up. We got to keep this rent slow. Man. You're place probably Okay, it's beautiful in there. We got the pure and everything. It's wonderful man

Before right right Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait It's high end cat food though. It actually smells kind of good. Someone's got a stew cut. It's hard. Yeah, the baby likes it. She likes it. We'll heat it up a little bit. Nine seconds. Boom. Chop it up. Give it to her. Otherwise she can be a real problem. I know the feeling. Can't much talk about Adam and Eve. Shout out to it, baby. Yeah, this episode is brought to you. Mm-hmm. By Adam and Eve. Whoo! I'm hard as a rock, baby. Yeah, this episode is brought to you by Adam and Eve. Woo!

I'm hard as a rock, baby. Let's go. How long do you think Adam and Eve's been in business? I don't know, five years. 50 years! What? Cross-did source. They've been making dudes fucking jizm for 50 years.

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Do it. All right, this one's from Scrootsma Grotes. $10 shareholder. Shout out to you. This, we've taught, we've mentioned this and I think we fall on different sides of this, which we've been doing all that. Man, we've buttoned hands.

I know. You've been there not giving me nothing. Scrootsma Grotesotes scented trash bags question mark There's something not classy about I'm not saying it's trash. There's something not it seems cheap Which I enjoy it. It smells nice. It seems cheap though. I think it's all time worst product ever invented I think it smells horrible. It's dog shit. It makes it makes the trash smell worse. The lab is now. It's the worst. You're for it, I presume. Smells like baby shit. You're against it. It's fucking lame. It like makes me sick to my stomach. No, I totally I don't like the way they smell coming out.

And I don't like this the way they smell when you put them in when trash when trashes in there. Sure. That's it. It reminds me of a baby's diaper. It smells like shit. Take that one step further. Had to attend a social function. Not that long ago. Outdoor little bar set. I don't know who you think you are this episode attending a social function not too long ago outdoor bar. Okay You're drinking beer in the street bill of sale. Yeah, something you're real fucking high-falutin. I don't think so Telling me I can't use another guys microwave than offer to give me your used microwave. I was brain It was pretty much brand new we're not brand new. That's this is you it's brand pretty much We only use a couple of months where they were replacing ours

Yeah, you've so you've cooked hot fucking cat food in there daily for months? I don't want it. I'd rather roll my dice with the one they stole from me. Did she try to use the air fryer one time? For a fool, for cat food, dude? Ah, man, I almost lost it. Yeah, that's no going back, right? I dropped it in a, I dropped it in a

frialator for two, three minutes. Hey, ruined my mozzarella sticks. What are you talking about? So damn it. Throw that. Anyway, I was at a black tie affair and they had the little bar set up. Uh huh. You know what I mean? Like you know, it's grab whatever you want. They had a cooler, okay, with beers and stuff in it. Real blacked out. Yes. Hey, you're on cake duty. Next to that, they heard the roll of the sleeves of your tuxedo up when you're having a bud heavy.

Next to that, they had a like a yeti cooler, like a portable cooler that had just ice in it, okay, which I love a cooler with just I sure it to me it shows such forward thinking. Yeah, it goes hey, we're killing it so so bad so good We have a extra cooler. We don't even need for the party and we're filling it with a let me ask you this What if that wasn't there and there was just the cooler with the beers and the sodas and the waters in it, and then you wanted it just to make a soda. Would you use that ice? Would you use the cooling ice as drinking ice? Like in the cooler?

In the cooler. Yeah? I mean, yeah. Surprised. Why don't a hand's going in there? Yeah, I don't love it. But, yeah, I have for sure done that. Well, here's the thing.

I'm typically drinking so I can get over's one of the, I'm typically drinking so I can get over it. Sure. If I'm just having a soda and I'm dead sober to party which I don't think has ever happened, you know, it's whatever. But if I'm making a mixed drink on a fucking, if I'm making a transfusion on a nice sunny day down a shore,

my hand's going right in that farm. Scooping her up. So that was nice that they had it. However, they had the ice in a clean, new trash bag. Oh, that was sent it. What? Yeah, it must have been an oversight. That's a no fly zone.

Yeah, I took a sip of my diapepsy and almost fucking gag. I'll kill you. I think it does. That's like fucking... Been sick to my stomach ever since. It's dupe on chemicals, that ain't good. Yeah, it's so... We don't need it, stop with that shit.

I know everybody's buying up everybody, and you think that you're giving us something better. We're buying up everybody. You know, for Breeze has got to work with Glad and this one's got to work with this one and this and that, and they're doing fucking, you know, cinnabond is... You're really gonna have to have big fragrance today. Watch out, Kay! It's just, I tell doing fucking you know cinnabon is really going to have their big fragrance today watch out

again I tell you what you know you can do make sure that the fucking thing doesn't rip when all of all I do is lightly grab the string do fucking that I don't need to smell nice just I needed to what what happened to remember when hefty you could drive a car through that thing when he said lightly lift the string did you imagine the biggest bag of trash you've ever seen? There's probably sirens going off. Please stop, please stop.

Hey, go more. They always rip now, even the stretch you want suck. That's why I like, I go contractor bags. Heavy bike. Yeah, you gotta be really, you are putting out industrial a list. That's right. Special guys got to come and get it.

Quest Labs got to come pick that up. Do we had a dumpster dropped in front of our house for a long time throwing up and man that was the best. Just trash right in the driveway. We did it for months and months and months. It was great. Were they working on anything? Slowly, yeah, they were doing I think the basement, but then that wasn't happening There was a there was a dumpster in my driveway You do want to push in a year man

Everybody comes out to watch that thing get dropped. Oh, yeah, we had that we had cold dumped I mean every year we'd have cold dump because of the fireplace. We get wood dumped We get fucking mulch dumped man That was in our afternoon knowing that there was no way you were gonna get to go inside Until all that mulch was the drifts in front of the goddamn garage. Can't get the car out to go to work That's got to go. Yeah, I would say it was so funny Couple courts of wood or whatever they call them. Qu cords cord a cord a wood and ever understood with that man And it was gonna room my Saturday. Yeah, it's a unit of measurement

I don't know what it is if it's poundage or like you know square foot square footed soft and uh I was just so funny. He's brought that up. I was thinking yesterday. We uh of the fucking Those red stones those little red stones my dad one summer, read did all of the, he had like a bunch of fucking flower bed, or like, you know, stones in the bed? Where mulch was. Yeah.

So we had a fucking get rid of the mulch, lay some like, mat down. Yeah, he had like the plant. He had like the plant. Yeah, it was like the plant, the weed protector or whatever that. They didn't work either. We used plastic, we tried to and like the next year

I was like thank God that's fucking done. He's like nah the weeds are coming up. We're using plastic bags Pull it all up hit all that shit dude and I'm talking an ever-resized mountain of that red stone Yeah to the point where all your boogies were read by the end of the day you were coughing up red hawkers It was based all that dust coming up, you're like spraying water on it. Ugh. My buddy had a stone driveway like that. The trashiest. Every time you pull that, you feel like one of the duke boys.

What are you doing? Just get a mail. I'm playing wheels getting out. I tell you, as a fat lazy kid, one thing I hate it the most. I'll rake the leaves, I'll fucking bitch about it. I'll do the lawn picking weeds Socks it feels like you're not making any traction ever and then you grab one of those ones with the fucking daggers on them Orneys, damn it. I don't know. I don't make a heater feel real weird in your hand man The fingers pulsating. You feel it swell up. You get tight? Yeah, now weeding fucking

So I'm like and there's no ease. People like, oh, use the shot. And it's like, no tool, you just gotta use your hand. Got it, grab it. And you're just fucking, and I remember, you look, you're doing for what feels like an hour and a half. And you have covered one square foot and fucking socks. Get that round up in there.

K-k-k-k-k-k-k. Start dumping bleach. I don't know what happened. Patty uses salt now, which is, she comes up with these crazy remedies or things that don't work. But where the dogs go do do, she doesn't want to put chemicals back there. Maybe children to fuck out a little bit. She uses salt on the weeds. Doesn't work. Dog just like to learn it somewhere or something They're like she learned that's probably how you got the poison ivy on your face

Trying to lick the salt in the back. Yeah, my someone put a pound of salt back here. Whatever Trying to keep me out of the cookies She brought poison oak all over the Charlie's chips can Maybe you had a beer in one hand and a sig in the other and an itch on your face and you itch it on a tree That's something I can see you doing now. I listen it was 30 something years ago 30 years ago This is my cold case man. Yeah, I don't I wasn't around anything we weren't in the woods part you know like that It was it nobody could figure it out Just poison I've you all over you had fucking men saw on the case though. Who's men sir?

Men sir who's that? Detective group of very smart people. I'm saying you had a bunch of idiots trying to figure out. Mensa. Not Mensa. That's not that. Yes, it is. It's Mensa. It's in Me myself and Irene. It's Mensa. Mensa. Yeah. You sure? Oh, yeah. M-E-N-S-A. Okay, I mean the irony of... irony? I-R-O-D? Man, you are something else today, big guy.

These guys out in left field with a hockey stick. Well, I would Mensa be investigating a poison IV case. I would be animal control or something like that. That's also... The Mensa has a better animal control... or the botanicals. Garden. It wouldn't be Mensaa they have bigger things to work on it would be a botanist would be investigating Yeah, cuz they got so much retire a forensic botanist would be investigating okay hear me out on this hear me out on this

Hear me out on this you're stuck in a hotel. You're down the you're down the shore with Foley He eats all the snacks the first night. You're partying. Mm-hmm. So to get him back then this just happened down the show with Foley. He eats all the snacks the first night you're partyin'. So to get him back. Didn't this just happen down the shore? So to get him back, you go, you grab some poison ivy, you come in, you rub it on his face while he's sleepin'. I think it was foul play. I think there was fat, he was an inside job.

I think you probably, for, didn't remember being in the woods or lands, weeding or something. If I had, I mean, I don't think there was any foul play. I don't think there was bigger. Uh, I think our party goes all the way to the top. Mr. Sumek, or as part I was on acid when it fucking started coming on. I said, it's always another layer of the story. Brutal. I wasn't a K hole for two weeks.

I don't know what happened. Freak you out, man happened Freak you out man freak you out He's so selective in the information he shares I was working to that poison ivy farm for a couple of weeks I one more thing here. You're the reverse colomba One more thing. I don't know what psyched Alex have anything to do with it You were all you had full ass and who knows what you were up to? Who knows if there was even poison? I was I went to that they dropped me off at

Shore Memorial and I got a steroids you could have been its fucking Mac and Manko's pizza place for all you know you're all fucking all tripping out was there tonight before I was there the night before. I was there the night before. I was at Mac and Max and they that was right before the season started and they weren't happy that we were in there. We were all on acid. So it gave us a real bad vibe. I still love their pizza though. You can do whatever they want to me.

Sure. Mac and Max. You are fucking throwing seven different guys. It's crazy. Back at max You are fucking throwing seven different guys it's crazy today dude I Feel like I've been podcasting with four different people already. I'll fix up All right, this one's from doggy dingle berries. I use ever been on fire You're in a bad situation if you have been that's Couple times yeah And every once in a while one of those really hits you's ever been on fire He's ever been on fire fucking he's ever been on fire shit

My shoe was one time and out of a panic luckily was a big fat skate shoe So I it was it came off quick. It wasn't real lace that well. Oh Almost never catch the ice cream truck I was laying wheels You want to see Kippy run real fast How the fuck did your shoe catch on fire? I think we were lighting a hacky sack on fire and doing like a flaming hacky sack type circle. Wow. Yeah This is when we were you know seven-eighth grade smoking weed hacky sacks were

Not cool, but in I'll give you a Round they were they were they were readily available and we would like them on fire Everybody goes to a hacky sack. Of course. I was terrible at it. We was I was okay. We would like them on fire. Everybody goes to a hacky set. Of course, I was terrible at it. We would, I was, okay, we would like them on fire. And what was like, you might know, it's like the fucking, it's like the, challenger warrior, like hit it twice, and then you like try to peg someone with it. Yeah, we call it knockout.

Yes, something like that. You have to juggle it two or three times when you're playing it and then you hit someone and if they don't catch it, they're out. Then they're out. We would do that, but everybody gets to slug them. Catch it in their hand or with their foot. No, they have to juggle it two or three times when I play and then you hit someone and if they don't catch it, then they're out. Then they're out. We would do that, but everybody gets to slug them. Catch it in their hand or with their foot. No, they have to like control it and like keep the ball,

like keep it in the air. Okay. But after two hits, you fucking wing it, you fucking crank it, it's who. Yeah. And if you get eliminated, you're walking the circular, but you get just slugging the arm. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, I've been on fire a number of times. Pants a bunch. I lit my arm on fire for like a, like a, like a scatch one time. That was a good, that was a good one. Really just did some light Google and watch the flaming bozo everybody. Yeah, I really did some light Google and my buddy was like mad TV.

I was talking about it. My buddy was leaving my arm up and I was like, you know what you're doing right? He's like, ah, I watch like 40 seconds of a YouTube tutorial. There's always one or two of those guys on America's got talent. Yeah, some kid out there singing his heart, and the guy just walks out on fire. Yeah, I'm like, how are you gonna top that?

Break fluid is what he is, because the gap. I like you tell me like, I'm gonna drop. Oh, why you fucking say, tell me earlier, T-bone? Break fluid and orange juice. I have seen you. Cause it's just the gas catches on fire, not the actual liquid, so it goes out pretty easy, but it's a big flame Thanks guzz ball. Yeah, what the fuck more with amateur fucking

Crazy that red bull is sponsored bit Because you let yourself on fire once that seems pretty good no one's all What kind of spokesman in the day one time? No one saw me being idiot. No, that video was on IFC.com about nine clicks from Lone Pit. There you go. Deep in the cavernous. Cavernous backlogs.

I picked my coat with a cigarette one time. This is bad. I was all cooked out. I can bump my fucking. I coat with a cigarette one time. That was all coat down. Like in bum, I fucking, uh, I was, uh, yeah, deflaming the shoe that I think that was it. Any like actual real panic of the fire scares me. I really panic around it. Sure.

Really fucking panic. Sure. Would you ever jump over a fire? We did do that. Like we would set like, uh, there was a bike track. Oh, yeah, they're bike sure. Never fell into it. That's the one thing I don't think we ever talked about.

The bike jumps that just existed in the woods from previous generations. Yes, dude. Who made who made them and what happened to them? I don't know. Man, there was just like your older brothers' friends would go because they heard from their older brother and they were just in the woods for 30 years they existed.

It's probably since the 80s when I was going in the 2000s, that's fucking nuts. And they're everywhere all over the country. All over the country. And you go in there like a geographical explorer, like you're pulling bushes aside, it's all overgrown, you're bringing it back to life. It's like a lost city. Yeah, it's a Jurassic Park shit. Uh huh.

Man, I remember we found one one summer and it was like fucking good We like heard rumors of it so we went down to get eyes on it It was like one kid that knew from somebody where it was yeah, and we're like all right Yeah, and then you found it and That's what there was like a small set of doubles like a double jump and we lit a fire in it after like Do we just spend every do we wake up in the morning get on our bikes go there for about 14 hours a day and by like the fifth day we were all like you know real fucking pro like new the core this was like a course a little bit

you know we take shovels we build it up the parts it got like worn down by the water or whatever man what do you say we get out of here and hit some jumps years in neglect I was on the floor station Bring it all back. Yeah, it's good time. Yeah, that's all right All right, let's do one or two more and then we got a get go in near gang This one's from Taylor is it garbage if you pass out of your own party wake up the next morning the hot tubs filled with Bernie say hi to TOTY for me Passing out of your as a host is a tough look because no one then gives a fuck. No one cares unless they're like, you're real tight homie. Yeah.

Like I wouldn't fuck your house up, but like, if I'm at a house and I'm like, oh, who's this? The tobey that's that guy sleeping on the couch. I'm like, we're cranking heaters in here. I'm getting a sandwich. Making a sandwich. Yeah, we're doing it Oh, man And that's like that's the one time in a sea of mundane partying that the wildest shit will have happened

You'll wake up and it'll be like dude Johnny Hongdong Fucking they got the whip cream out. It was a scene bro And every other time it's like I mean it's in beers and you know watch fucking D.D. Box at a 24 no one responded to my text message I always felt like I missed the good parties where good shit happened always I One's that I was okay. I think it's there's very this is my take as somebody who's done a lot of booze it right It's very rarely that cool shit does happen most of the nights are Relatively the same. Mm- same. You know what I mean? It's like you're getting fucked up.

It's the same handful of guys, same group of girls, same whatever, you're going to the same bars. The cops would only show up every once in a while. And they were usually the fun ones. That was crazy. Everybody run. Everybody run and scatter. That's good.

But that was once a year maybe. And like, you know, those were bigger party. That stuff was like a stab list of like, so and so is were bigger party like that stuff was like established of like, so and so's having a big fucking to do type. But I mean, it's pretty much the same. Same. I've been drinking the same beers, smoking the same sigs, quoting Seinfeld for the less than 15 years. It's alright though. Too bad. Not too shabby. This one's from Roy. Ever put a full face helmet on to just to get hit in the head with stuff. That's all right. That's a catchers. I guess.

Like a catchers helmet or something or like a race, like a motorcycle helmet. I know we had somebody's brother played hockey. And remember the rubber, the tan rubber ones, they were like the shitty ones, maybe street ones the helmets are the like the legs Yeah, I had them. Yeah, we put those on and like it catches mitt and a bunch of stuff to not place more Oh, yeah, just if just a hurt each other. Oh, yeah chairs poles everything with a wall bats. Yeah, we We got my brother got a go kart and he had like the full face like motor cycle helmet just like a generic flower. Oh, and you got your hands on a motorcycle helmet as a kid You might as well thought we were fucking them back as somebody's garage You might have thought we were running tests on you know for safety protocol for cars, dude

We were we had like no blue like track and data how you know did it did that hurt now all right Let's crank it up a little bit Next see next see nigga and aluminum bad out you know, did it, did that hurt? No, all right, let's crank it up a little bit. Did that hurt? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, in December 20th. December 20th. Come out and see us at the Fillmore. You get your tickets at rUgarbage.com. Already sold out one. Let's sell out two baby. Close out the year strong. Also all the other dates are there on the website. Added some second shows, some third shows in a couple of places,

but not everywhere. So do yourself a favor and get your tickets now. We love you to death, and we'll see you next week. Bye, peace. We love you to death and we'll see you next week.