Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Rachel Feinstein!

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast presents stand up comedian and podcast host Rachel Feinstein! You know Rachel Feinstein from stand up comedy, We Might Be Drunk podcast, Stavvy's World w/ Stavros, the H...oneyDew podcast, Whiskey Ginger, Anniewood, The Tonight Show, Comedy Central, and so much more! Check out her new special "Big Guy" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com Promo Code: garbage Tushy: https://hellotushy.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com/garbage  Promo Code: GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Brian's question, is it garbage to order deli meat by the dollar amount instead of the weight? I said three dollars! That's just $3.25! Let me get three dollars a ham and five on pump four. Buddy, I love you. Get your tickets now at rugarbage..com we want to see you out there. Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey
Starting point is 00:00:47 Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah, it's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a good to be classy They're just a big old piece of trash trash trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She just got back from the dentist. Okay. At a root canal got a grill done. There you go. Looking fresh.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Double it up. A couple diamonds in there. My co's is coming at you from right next to me. Unamused this week. Took a shot. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're ready. You subscribe on iTunes full video available YouTube as you know those numbers are true to riff cooking and obviously the greatest website of all time
Starting point is 00:01:32 www dot patreon.com slash ru garbage. It's a goddamn party over there gang. Love that money and having a nice crowd out to our producer extraordinary. The old magic man makes us all look good works the ones that to the threes and the fours. He crosses the T's and he dots the eyes give it up for T bone Mcscruffins Toby McMullen everybody. What up boys? Hey pal, I'm stoked. Yeah, we got a light killer in here We did a show together at skank fest and I'm talking murderous Yeah, gang a long hair ain't lying cuz we couldn't be more excited to have her incredibly and I mean incredibly special very here with us today
Starting point is 00:02:05 For the first time she's a very funny very successful stand-up comedian and actor and you might have seen her in but not limited to you Got the venture brothers Grand Theft Auto 5 teachers lounge top five friends of the people train wreck red oaks love that show I feel pretty crashing life of Beth inside Amy Schumer She has her own Comedy Central presents and her own Comedy Central half hour. You also got last comic standing. You got the apprentice, Chelsea Lately, world's dumbest comics unleashed, The View,
Starting point is 00:02:34 John Oliver, Lally Roe Moore, James Corden, Not Safe With Nikki Glaser, WTF, The Stand-Ups, this week at the Comedy Cellar, The Tonight Show, Kelly Clarkson whiskey ginger And she has a brand new special out on Netflix right now called big guy give it up for Rachel Feinstein everybody We do our research I've been following you for a while. I like that. I like being stocked. There you go Congratulations on the spec. Yes, everybody's loving our for for Netflix. So there you go and move some tickets I just want to ride uber black. I
Starting point is 00:03:15 Like the motivation that's all right trying to move a couple of take I was doing I went to I was telling them I was doing at Stern's wrap-up show after that I had like an hour to kill and I went to I was telling them I was doing at Stern's wrap-up show after that I had like an hour to kill and I went to Filene's basement and Speaking of trash and then I ran really fast through it and I tried to try things on and then just begged this lady to like Hold my basket for me. No shit. I didn't even know there's a filing so you're gonna go back Yeah, well, she said we don't hold baskets Yeah, yeah, I didn't care for that one bit.
Starting point is 00:03:47 You could have brought your bags. That would have been fine. I mean, I was still shopping. It's hard for me to pass up an outlet or a Nordstrom. No, not Finlings Basement. It was Nordstrom Rack. I always get them in a fridge in my mind. Finlings Basement's been out of business since the 80s.
Starting point is 00:04:01 That's fair. They always switch in my mind. Like, they kind of meld together, because they are the same thing. Sure. Same manner of twats in them. Do you like an outlet? You like an outlet?
Starting point is 00:04:09 Stopping at the outlets? OK. Yes. All right. Burlington Coat Factory? No, you can't do a bet. Come on. Very high end.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Very high end. That's good stuff in here. That's right. I'm worth it. Got a golden pussy. OK? Give us the backstory. Where did you grow up? Tell us everything. The origin story of Rachel Feinstein. I'm worth it. I got a golden pussy, okay? I shop. Give us the backstory.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Where did you grow up? Tell us everything. The origin story of Rachel Feinstein. Moms, dads, brothers, sisters, laid on us. I grew up in Maryland. My father actually moved to this area, Bethesda, outside D.C. because he heard they had really good used book and record stores there.
Starting point is 00:04:41 He's and- Seriously? Yes, that's why he did it, yes. Was he married at the time or when he was younger? He was married. My parents, my parents actually married two months after they met. Nice.
Starting point is 00:04:51 And my mom said that speaking of garbage, my dad would spray, lay his clothes out where they met at UCSB and spray deodorant on them. And then he didn't do his laundry and he would just spray the deodorant. And so she was like, oh, he needs a wife. That's basically how they decided to get married. She's like, he's bringing this.
Starting point is 00:05:07 This is why we play the game, folks. We are in it. What's UC, is that a college? UCSB, it was University of California in Santa Barbara. And that's how they met. Okay, so they met out there, all right. Apparently two months after they, so they, I think they got married,
Starting point is 00:05:23 I think it was two months after, about a month after they had so they, I think, they got married, I think it was two months after, about a month after they had to take a long drive somewhere. And my mom said she was like so, she was really obsessed with my dad. That's why she was like, oh, I'll do his laundry. That's how I got him to marry me. And she said on the drive that my dad encountered
Starting point is 00:05:37 a little bit of traffic that he was like slightly annoyed by. And then he was like, you know what, Karen? We're not doing it, it's off. So he basically like flicked off some drivers, like, fuck, god damn was like you know what Karen we're not doing it so he basically like flicked off some drivers like fuck god damn it you know what and I'm not marrying you either you know and then she said she started wailing crying and then the traffic softly cleared up and then he was like yeah I love ya I didn't mean what I said back there bye gods be by gods Mr. Feinstein's alright I like that what did your dad do? My dad, he was a civil rights lawyer.
Starting point is 00:06:07 So he prosecuted KKK cases for the Department of Justice. So he was a prosecutor out of the DOJ. Based out of Maryland? Based out of Maryland. That's why they had to move there, so he could take the bar and he wanted to do that. In his family, they were pretty poor. He grew up in Queens, and then they moved to Palo Alto,
Starting point is 00:06:26 and they said you had to be a doctor or a lawyer. So he was a musician. He is again now, but he plays piano, is a zydeco accordion, and harmonica. He plays everything by ear. He's an insane blues musician. But that was one or the other, so he was like, oh, I'll do civil rights law.
Starting point is 00:06:40 So he went into that, and then my mom went to social work school, and she's a kind of bleeding heart liberal. I talk about it in the special, like how she would have preferred if I married like a genderless Kenyan composter or something. She's just, if you're like not white, she listens to you like this with like a leg up. I like it.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Very intently. She loves to get to the bottom of somebody's trauma. She does like a horror crawl towards you if you tell her something went wrong in the early years. That's all she wants to do is just get into the childhood. So that's my mom's general vibe, which is funny because her dad was the opposite. Like he was very conservative.
Starting point is 00:07:16 And if you had an opinion at the dinner table, you were called a commie rat, which is still my favorite thing. I'm stealing that. Is that great? Oh yeah. I want someone to commie's a good time. Thought this was America, god damn it. To call your own daughter a commie rat is fucking fantastic.
Starting point is 00:07:32 So he was like, so she kind of overcorrected. Then she met, she majored in African history, I think it was, with a minor in black studies or something. She just like wanted to not be white. And she's the kind of liberal where it almost comes full circle and it's almost racist. You know what I mean? When she's talking to my mother-in-law, who's Columbia,
Starting point is 00:07:52 and her inner dialogue is like, I'm talking to a Colombian woman. She's a lot. OK. Yeah, that's how we got to the Maryland area. Did he work in DC? Is that where you're from? He worked in DC. All right, so your dad works in DC. Your mom, she's how we got to the Maryland area. Did he work in DC? Is that where you're from? He worked in DC.
Starting point is 00:08:06 All right, so your dad works in DC. Your mom, she's doing social work as you're growing up. Yes, she was working 60 hours a week at this clinic in DC. Okay, okay. And how many brothers and sisters? Two brothers. Older or younger? One older, one younger.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Okay, so you're in the middle. I'm in the middle. Public school you guys went to? Yes, until my brothers all went to public school, me too, until about junior year of high school. I was just failing so bad. And I was a wild moron in school. They just could not, for the love of God,
Starting point is 00:08:36 stuff information into my brain. So they finally put me in this little Quaker school. And I thought I got into that school. They took me around. but I found out later, it was like, no, that's like a last resort. Everyone's pregnant and smoking cigs in class, bars on the outside of the windows. She's like, how did I get in?
Starting point is 00:08:54 I'm gifted. Yeah, I was like, no, this is, yeah, you don't audition for juvie. This is all there is available to you. So that was in my junior year. Until then, I went to public school, but I just got Ds and Fs from maybe fifth grade or something, I was just, yeah, terrible students.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Good public school though. It sounded like you were in a nice area down there in Maryland. Yes. Okay, do they still live in that same house? They do. They do, they still live down there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Very nice, what are we talking, single family home, I assume? Yes, single family home, and I think it's a three bedroom. We would go to Gaithersburg a lot. My dad. Where the hell is that? Gaithersburg is another area of Maryland. And my dad, in around seventh grade, he ended up,
Starting point is 00:09:33 like he had a lot of bills. Bethesda was becoming more expensive. They decided he should go in to try to go into private practice. But I was like, I remember thinking, my dad's kind of like a genius. Like he skipped two grades in school. But I'm like, he can't do like private practice. He's like probably autistic. He flicks his own head a lot
Starting point is 00:09:49 What a cash is though? Yeah, I know but I was like, yeah, I can't run it I was like how he's got to show up and be told do this. Yes. You can't like schmooze people Thousand-dollar retainer now he flicks himself. It as like a tick? It's like a tick or something. He'll do that a lot. Or people will be like, oh, I saw your dad a giant. That's a supermarket near us. Like, oh, I saw your dad a giant picking his nose. He's always picking his nose.
Starting point is 00:10:12 The fine signs are wild. Yeah, Howie is wild. So Giant was the grocery store growing up. That was the grocery store growing up. It's a good establishment. Of course. We're very well versed in giants and supermarkets. Really?
Starting point is 00:10:23 You know Giant? I didn't know everybody knew giant. Yeah, they were from Philly, so that's what they're there as well. Oh, OK. Yeah, so then anyway, he ended up, he couldn't cut it in private practice, but he never really failed anything. He skipped two grades in school.
Starting point is 00:10:37 So he ended up deciding to do blues full time and just play piano at Nordstrom or whatever. So then we were kind of struggling with three kids and my mom being a social worker. So we would get- Wait, he quits the DOJ? Well, he ended up, yeah, eventually after many years of working in the DOJ, he just like,
Starting point is 00:10:55 he needed to make more money because you don't make that much money as a government lawyer. Okay. So then he decided that, but he had a good record because he was really good at prosecuting KKK and all these cases. He was a very great prosecutor,
Starting point is 00:11:06 but he would like show up to court with two different shoes on it. And they'd be like, howie. It's the Jenkins case? What? That's not till tomorrow, howie. The hell you doin'? Exactly.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Exactly. So he couldn't like cut it in private practice. So then we would go to Gaithersburg to go to this store called Toy Traders, where you would, if you wanted a new toy, you had to get an old toy and like trade it in private practice. So then we would go to Gaithersburg to go to this store called Toy Traders, where you would, if you wanted a new toy, you had to get an old toy and like trade it in. Yeah. So it was like a weird kind of like Sophie's choice of toy.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Like I had it, yeah. Sure, and were you trading for a brand new toy or you were getting an old toy? A used toy. Like I remember getting a Barbie head and she had sort of like smears on her and looked like bruises. And I remember putting like my mom's
Starting point is 00:11:44 Maybelline foundation on her Cleaners brought up a little bit enabling the cycle of abuse. Yes So sweet heart get up and get back some lean years mixed in there. Yes, right sure Okay, and they they had we had a Datsun that did none of the doors worked and I'll get in back store and my dad had a broomstick that he would put in the back because the springs weren't working. By the way, they could have like gotten a new car. It wasn't that bad.
Starting point is 00:12:12 But my parents say how much is the DOJ pay? He was a little cheap. So and then so there was a broomstick that we go in the back and then we climb through the back to get and the front seat. Yeah, you had to get in and out. Yeah. I don't remember how old it doesn't matter how old. What the fuck? Yeah. At any point, you you had to get in and out. Oh, yeah Doesn't matter how old what the fuck? Yeah, any point you should be doing in the back. That's nice a goddamn lawyer We had like a couple of cars like that and I think part of the reason it's not that we were like that
Starting point is 00:12:37 Profoundly poor it was that my dad was cheap a and my mom and dad would go to the same Guy to fix the car again and again my mom is so liberal that she'd be like, you know, Salvatore is a marvelous person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tremendous. Horrible mechanic. Yeah. Meanwhile, it's like she anybody that's not white, she just immediately trusts. Yeah. So she was just like, core crawling toward Salva, just like all of it. And yeah. What was the pet situation growing up? We had one pet named Mojo.
Starting point is 00:13:03 She was a little cat and had no tail. And another one. Everything's broken with you guys. Everything is broken. I didn't even realize this, by the way. This is like until you guys are walking me through my life. Everything was pretty much busted. AC in the whole house?
Starting point is 00:13:17 You guys have sensual air? We had AC. We had, you know, it was a normal Bethesda. They just had really sad cars. They just had really sad cars, and they were generally cheap. We didn't get a Cab Bethesda. They just had really sad cars. They just had really sad cars and they were, you know, generally cheap. Like we didn't get a Cabbage Patch Kid. We got my mom went to some factory where they tried to imitate them. And I was like, this stinks.
Starting point is 00:13:33 My cousin's had a couple of those. Yeah. Right. OK. They had the same thing. And I'm like, it doesn't have a signature on the ass, mom. Yeah. All right. Any pool in the backyard? No pool. No pool. OK. How about the vacations? What were they like? A lot of outlet shopping. Speaking about let's really
Starting point is 00:13:49 every vacation was sort of built around an outlet. Yeah, like my mom wanted to go to Liz Claiborne outlet. You know, how far are these drives? This is a vacation. Yeah, well, they would work something for us. But it was like, we know, would you go to like Ocean City, Maryland? We go to Ocean City, yes, and we would go to Rehoboth. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Rehoboth, that's pretty, I mean, I've been to Ocean City in a long time. That was a big pilgrimage for every Philly dirt bag. One summer in your life. You always went to the Jersey Shore, but one summer, they saved up enough cash and you got to Ocean City. No, Ocean City, Maryland.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Ocean City was kind of, I feel like Ocean City was like the hookup, cooler one, kind of. Well, not for me, but sure. I heard you got mountains of pussy, but okay. What about Disney World? Did they ever take you down to Disney World? No Disney World. We didn't do much flying, unless it was
Starting point is 00:14:33 to visit the family in California. How old were you when you got your passport? Oh my God, I wonder how old I was. Definitely not till I was an adult, and probably because of standup, yeah. Really? Yes, yeah, we didn't like. I got mine a year ago, so don't feel bad., really sure. Yes. Yeah, we didn't know I got mine a year ago So don't feel bad. Oh, that makes me feel better. I didn't know that that makes me I law
Starting point is 00:14:49 I just realizing as I was saying that I've just freshly lost mine. I have to go to Toronto and like four weeks I'll figure out You got to get on that Concerned you look about by the way, you've had this expression the whole time I'm like, I'm assuming that a lot of D pigs have been in here. I By the way, you've had this expression the whole time. I'm like, I'm assuming that a lot of D pigs have been in here. I love that you just look so freshly alarmed. You're like, oh, this is bad.
Starting point is 00:15:11 It's not great. Getting in the back of a hatchback is a tough look. Yeah, as a family going to an outlet. You see the fine, you guys park in front of a fucking Liz Claymore. The cat, no tail. Pile out the back of a Datsun. And my dad was in a band we were growing up called the vomitones because he thinks throwing up is funny So and they had a dad a dad is representing the government what the hell's going on a dad in a band is a
Starting point is 00:15:34 Not only that he's a litigious accordion Player is amazing where was playing the floor head was he playing games and stuff Was he playing what gigs like was he playing the floor? Had you played games and stuff? Was he playing what gigs? Was he going to the vomit? He's incredible. Like he plays only by ear and he could play anything at all. Where were they playing? The vomit tones.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Oh, OK. So my dad's not referring to him like they're the Beatles. I guess talking about the vomit or solo career. Live Aid. Lollapalooza 94, 99. My dad's had a lot of his solo gigs, but the Vomitones, I will say their tour schedule wasn't particularly impressive. I think it was like two dive bars in Michigan, I'm pretty sure. They would go to Michigan?
Starting point is 00:16:18 Because my dad, one of the Vomitones members was in Michigan. What was his name, Puke Ellington? Wait, how old are you during this I was in I guess I was in high school at this point and they vomit that was doing gigs that said hands across your anus tour and he was lying to you about the government job yeah it's probably in a mental institution he is one of the strangest people you'll ever meet but very smart smart and weird, dark sense of humor. Completely insane.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Would they play local gigs around your hometown, like at restaurants and stuff like that? Yes. Book stores or something. So your friends would see, like, hey, I saw your dad and the band was out last night. I mean, like I said, they weren't doing heavy gigging. So I don't know if they were.
Starting point is 00:17:01 I don't know if they were. They weren't adding shows. Yeah. I don't think they did heavy mingling. No. Heavy gigging. They weren't at shows. They did like heavy mingling. Heavy gigging. Yeah, if my friend was like getting Bloomingdale's, she might have been like, I went to get a bra and your dad was playing piano there. Okay. Kip, let me tell you about Mint Mobile. Lay it on me, big guy. What do you got? I'll tell you, it's the summertime.
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Starting point is 00:19:57 Do it. Okay. So what and where did you fall in the hierarchy of high school? Like were you cooler? were you not cooler, were you a cheerleader, athlete, was there any sports? No cheerleader, no dances, no nothing, not invited, not asked to go to any proms. However, I was, I had a lot of-
Starting point is 00:20:15 No kidding. No, no, guys were not interested. I thought you would be in like the cool club. It was a hard pass for me. Really? Yes. First of all, I had like debilitating acne, like the kind of acne, like I needed to be in a hospital.
Starting point is 00:20:27 I should have been laying down in bed. I shouldn't have had to go to school. Oh, that's all right. Just like, you know. Like I see pictures of myself, I'm like, how did you not end it right then? No prom, you didn't go to prom? No, nobody wanted to go to prom with me.
Starting point is 00:20:41 I was busted up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a major supply and demand issue there. A lot of supply, not a lot of demand. And you didn't play any sports? No, I was, I was. And you were bad at school?
Starting point is 00:20:58 Bad at every, why do you think I'm a comedian, you guys? It was wild failing my entire life. Like even if I smell a school, it takes me back to just all the meetings about me. I was always getting scanned. I was always laying in some bed with fucking suction cups. And I'm not making any of this up. Wait, they were scanning you?
Starting point is 00:21:14 Yes, they were doing scanning because I fainted a lot. So everybody was like, my mom was like, maybe the fainting is connected to the stupidity. And the scanner. Maybe her brain overheats and she just drops. And since my mom was a therapist, she kept thinking I had different disabilities. She's like, you know what she's got?
Starting point is 00:21:29 And I always heard her on the phone about me. Like she would say these things to me. They don't do that anymore. That's a thing that would happen back in the day. His problem is you're like, I'm fucking right here, lady. What the fuck? At least go to the other room. Yeah, my mom was always on the phone with David Rubino,
Starting point is 00:21:42 who was also a member of the Vomitones, who was a psychiatrist. And she'd be like, David, I think what she's got is figure ground. And apparently that was some sort of disability where you can't tell the difference between one person speaking and a sea of voices. And that's why when the teacher gave a direction,
Starting point is 00:21:57 everybody did it, and I was just staying in the same spot. But I just couldn't, I wasn't interested, but I was trying, you know? But I would just entertain people and be a general moron. So I always couldn't, I wasn't interested, but I was trying, you know, but I would just entertain people and be a general moron. So I always had friends and I always was doing like social stuff, but no guys wanted much to do with me. I was pretty gangrenous.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Okay, man. I was a bit of a burn victim. Yeah, Jesus. Were you partying? I thought that like, Yeah, were you drinking in high school? I didn't realize how alarming this wasn't till here I thought like oh this will be par for the course here, but it was like whoa pull the car over bitch
Starting point is 00:22:30 You're you were rancid believe you refer to yourself as gangrenous I did I didn't know what that means, but it don't sound great. I mean I was yes I was a little jacked up like I I was high school. That's it. You know yeah, I was I mean I I didn't really dry my hair properly, and so it was always kind of like slicked back. Oh, you were one of the, whoa. You were the girl with the wet hair on the bus? I was, they called me wet back,
Starting point is 00:22:51 and my mom was like, they're using racial slurs on. I'm like, no, I think they're trying to give me a heads up that my back is wet. What was the lunch situation growing up? Would you pack a lunch? Would you get a lunch at school? We would pack a lunch. What was in that?
Starting point is 00:23:04 My mom was very into like like, health, everything, so we couldn't have sugar, so I was just obsessed with kids that had good shit at their house. So I chose friendships based on, like, snacks. I'll talk about that in the special, actually, just because, like, I was so obsessed with other people's food.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Like, you know, I had this one friend, Carrie McCullough, who had the, like, she had the Hostess cupcakes where they're, like, in the display package, you know, like, the way they McCullough who had the like she had the Hostess cupcakes where they're like in the display package you know like the way they display it in 7-eleven. They have that bigger cardboard and you know you're in 7-eleven and I mean that was like exhilarating to me so I would just eat so much in my friend's house and I just sort of like roll around and spit in the corner and they'd be like this is a problem. What were the snacks at your house?
Starting point is 00:23:45 Just Melba toast, like trail mix, just things that send you into a low grade depression. What's Melba toast? It's like- Melba toast is kind of like a Jewish sort of bread. I don't know. It's like, we just had like apricots, you know? I knew you had just dried fruit.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Just a lot of dried fruit and- Cereal wise, what you had? And we had a lot of, we weren't allowed to have sugary cereal. So it was a lot of like,. Cereal wise, what you had? We weren't allowed to have sugary cereal, so it was a lot of like, you know, Cheerios. I remember one time we were allowed to have pops, and that was like, I was, I mean, you would have thought, it was like blowin' hookers.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Yeah, you could throw them. Just like one box of pops. I was like, fuck yeah, get off my dick. Were you guys eating dinner together? We ate dinner, yeah, when my dad wasn't, my dad traveled a lot when I was a little kid, so he was often on the road, like in the south, doing his things, but when, and my mom sometimes
Starting point is 00:24:29 would be late for, from her social work, and she's definitely like a workaholic, so sometimes it'd be ramen, and sometimes we would all have dinner together. My mom could cook, my dad would try, and then it would be bad, and then he would go, hey, it's good enough for the cowboys. That was his thing.
Starting point is 00:24:45 I'm like, Howie Feinstein, you're not a cowboy. I don't think you can really. That's good enough for the Cowboys. He used to always say that. He would just burn toes. He'd be like, hey, if it's good enough for the Cowboys. What about the holidays? What were they like?
Starting point is 00:24:56 Did you guys celebrate Christmas? Celebrate Hanukkah? We did Hanukkah, but my mom converted. So she was Christian growing up. And so she started to kind of miss Christmas. So we'd do a little bit of like a little presents, but not a tree. And I loved love still do obsessed with Catholics, you know.
Starting point is 00:25:12 So I was just always over at my Catholic friend's house. I loved Christmas. It was so, I'm so jealous. The house is decorated, the music. It's a vibe all December. It's a vibe. Yes, I loved it. And I loved how like they had like all the, I loved it. And I loved how they had all the kids.
Starting point is 00:25:25 I don't know if this is true in any of your families. Are you Catholic? Yeah, so you know how some Catholic families, they go by the middle name? And I thought that was so cool. Sure, we were just talking about this. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:37 I have a bunch of Italian kids that all their first name was Lou, so they all went by their middle name. So it'd be like, where's Lou Michael? Where's Lou Bobby? Where's Lou fucking Steve? Whatever. It's pretty cool. I thought that was so cool.
Starting point is 00:25:53 And my friend, her whole family, she had this big overachieving Catholic family. They all went to Georgetown, and I just had a crush on all the boys, and they all had names like Johanna Edith, but they called her Edie, married Teresa, but they called her Tracy, and I just thought it was so cool and lovely.
Starting point is 00:26:08 And like, my name's Rachel Feinstein. Like, I feel like it's cock-bloxed me my whole life. She's in there with her wet hair? Yeah, with wet hair. Weeping everybody out. And so I was just like, oh, I want one of those names. And it's funny enough, I named my daughter, because Edie and I are still really close friends,
Starting point is 00:26:22 and I named my daughter Elena Francis, but we call her Frankie just cuz I love those I like Wait did would you on Christmas would you guys do the Jewish thing and go to a movie in Chinese food? Did you guys ever do that? Yes, we did a Chinese food. I was always jealous of that. That was fun. Yeah, that was a good time. And the family was very funny.
Starting point is 00:26:48 Like, everybody was hilarious. Sure. Yeah, yeah. And unwell. But yeah, it was a good laugh. Thank you, T-Bone. Yeah, thank you very much. I just, like, want to tell them something good that's
Starting point is 00:26:58 going on in my life. I just want to offset this impression somehow, you know? I just have this instinct to start listing other credits Did you do about me look at me like oh my god like he's high as shit I went to Alan for a very short period. He's pretty he's abrupt. Hey, yeah, he called my dad a dickhead or something I think hey buddy, I agree with you. But you know guys blood at the end. I can tune you up I'm not paying you 40 bucks to get my fucking balls broke here That's what I need the opposite cuz I came from a mom that was like, let's you know, let's have an orgasm journal
Starting point is 00:27:36 So I did not like that. Fuck that Like yell boundaries into me. Did you get a Bob Mitzvah? Yes. What kind of cash are we talking you get Bob Mitzvah? Yes. What kind of cash are we talking at the Bob Mitzvah? And what was the venue? Yeah, what was the venue? Did they go online for that? It's the worst of the worst, you guys. No, we had it, you know those little things
Starting point is 00:27:53 that they have inside of parks, like it's like a little gazebo? The gazebo. You had it at the pavilion. Yeah. What? And by the way, Bethesda, that's a lot of money in Bethesda. So my friends had money. Yeah. You know, and we had ours inside of a park where we had like,
Starting point is 00:28:10 I mean, that's where they meet on catfish. That's crazy. That's every meetup. There's two Russian spies right next to each. You can't be. That's a sacred day. You're Bob Mitzvah. Yeah, no, it was in the it was in the park and Maplewood Park in this little
Starting point is 00:28:26 Building like that little yeah the little park thing But but my mom did get me a DJ and then she asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted a hot dog stand and she got me a hot dog stand So, you know look the big they did the best they could Hey, I like a nice diesel. I remember I wore a strapless dress and I thought it was so cool with the wet hair I like a nice diesel. I remember I wore a strapless dress and I thought it was so cool What the wet hair? Fucking soaking wet. I think she was like headgear on Here's something else man. I was not expecting me everyone stop coming at home stop coming stop coming cystic acne
Starting point is 00:28:58 But I had this strapless dress and I remember thinking like that that was so cool that I was you know Old enough to wear a strapless dress and My mom gave me this book that was about like puberty and it was called all about my body book or something And I remember just skipping through the whole book and there was some kind of a tit chart And I just kept check that's all I cared about I was like where I was on the tit chart There was like stage one two three four So I just kept putting on that dress again and again like like trying to make cleavage and then being like, eh, it's not there yet.
Starting point is 00:29:28 What kind of cash did you get for the bat mitzvah? Eight bucks? Yeah. 20 grand, 30 grand? My grandmother gave me a wallet once with a dollar in it. And she was like, just for fun, I put a dollar in it. But the hot dog guy gave her extra mustard. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:29:44 And I will say, my great aunt Edith Schneider, God rest her soul, she was the secretary, not name dropping, totally name dropping, for Faye Dunaway. I don't know if anybody knows who Faye Dunaway is, but she was a big actress from back in the day. So she was Faye Dunaway's secretary. She lived in New York. And Ed would, and Edie was violently cheap, so she would always send us like, you know,
Starting point is 00:30:08 a $2 bill would be like our birthday present every year. It's like, that's not enough. It's a novelty of having, no, come on, kick it up. So, but she one day started sending really nice gifts. And I was like, this is so weird. Why everybody was like immediate. Everybody was like, what in God's name? She was stealing from Sinatra, I figured.
Starting point is 00:30:26 She was stealing from Faye Dunaway. That's awesome. My mom's like, she gets all that crap from Faye. A 1978 Academy Award, what the hell? That is fucking hilarious. It's funny. And she was like, apparently Faye Dunaway, please fact check this story,
Starting point is 00:30:44 because I've heard it through Karen Feinstein, but apparently she had an affair with this Italian actor, Marcello Mastriani. And apparently, while she was screwing him, maybe it was, I don't know, maybe they were married, I have no information, but. She was married to Sinatra. While she was blowing him, was she?
Starting point is 00:30:59 Yeah, Faye Dunaway was married to Sinatra. You said that like you'd had it with my shit. No. Yes, come on, you hole! I was married to Sinatra. He said that like you'd had it with my shit. No. Yes! Come on, y'all! But yeah, so she, I guess she was, she was seeing Marcello Mastroianni for a while and apparently she got really nice panties or something. She sent them to you?
Starting point is 00:31:16 Well, my mom was like, she gets five or six of the same pair, so she sends me a few, I think that are Faye's, you know, and then she said, my mom said she went over to Faye Dunnway's apartment with my great aunt one day. And then, and she was like, oh, you know, Faye doesn't need any of this crap. She gets seven of the same things you could take too. And she would just sort of give it out, yeah. Your mom wore Faye Dunaway's underwear?
Starting point is 00:31:36 I mean, it was new. It wasn't open yet. It wasn't like her used rants and panties, but it was like, but still, it's still stolen. Yeah. Man, I was not expecting this at all. It's like your dad being like, what are you expecting? This is what I have to figure out.
Starting point is 00:31:50 I've never had people be as like, I don't know, but you don't, I was expecting popular kid in school, maybe a field hockey cheerleader, hockey is kind of insulting. I was expecting, you know, you got a sturdy frame knee pads, you know kind of broad back sports Girl who can take a punch I was trying to like open up a compliment somehow I was like, you know, I was expected kind of tough sort of diesel girl just think that Popular kid good pages a popular girl that crawled in the back of a Nissan
Starting point is 00:32:23 I was I did have all I was friends with all the popular kids I was a good time. I was a good fucking hey sure yeah But I don't think the men wanted to be inside me Not vacations at the outlet mall Why a bot mitzvah at the and I did like make out with people and stuff, but it was like you know It sounds like you're lying. The hot dog guy? It was like, I know it does sound like I was lying. That girl's gonna be a looker one day.
Starting point is 00:32:50 But it would be like who was, like what we would do is we'd go to my friend Edie's house, we would all sneak out, we would go to the park and go pool hopping at this pool near the park. Okay. And we would drink 40s and hang there in the park in the middle of the night. And what would happen was the guys would kind of choose a few girls to go hook up with in the woods. And I was usually sort of left.
Starting point is 00:33:14 And I skateboarded a lot. So I like skaters. You skateboarded a lot? I like skaters. Yeah, they were fun. Wait, what's wrong with that? I don't know. Could you do any tricks?
Starting point is 00:33:21 Could you ollie and stuff like that? I could do an ollie, and I could sometimes do a kickflip. I wasn't that good, but I tried't know. Could you do any tricks? Could you like ollie and stuff like that? I could do an ollie and I could sometimes do a kickflip. I wasn't that good, but I tried really hard. So like I would, I also just love skaters because they were fun. They were like comics. They were dry, weird, funny, fun. Sure.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Yeah. So I would go and I was, I remember I was hanging out with this skater that was kind of like left, just this shy skater. Just you in the shallow end with 240s taped to your hands Where you going? Don't be in there Come back in 40
Starting point is 00:33:56 All the guys are getting laid in the woods, and then I just like I was sitting with him I think we were in the middle of like a tennis court or something like sitting on our skateboards And I didn't know what was supposed to happen at that time. And I think he was violently shy. And then I just like, I remember just I took off my shirt and I just sat there on my skateboard. This girl gets to the point. I took off my shirt.
Starting point is 00:34:19 You pulled that book with the boob chart. I'm a stage three. All right, what about? If Bilo's so high, you get in three. All right. What about So high you get in now What about in the childhood bedroom? What kind of bed are we talking about? And then by the way, I just softly put it back on again. We like he was like That was one of the dumbest moments of my life There's nothing like taking your shot and I was trying to do it like in the movies like sexy way
Starting point is 00:34:41 He was kind of like like Faye Dunaway with Wanted to have some sort of I think he might have wanted to be involved with my rack, but involved is the dumbest phrase I've ever heard. With my rack. Associated. Associated with my tinnage. But I think that he was too shy himself, and like not okay.
Starting point is 00:34:59 So he was just like staring at the tennis court, and then I quietly put my dumb sweatshirt back on. You're just sitting there like, I checked the chart, pretty good, huh? I'm like, ah, what do you think? I've never heard a girl refer to her boobs as my rack. That's something truckers say. Not a bad rack, huh?
Starting point is 00:35:15 Girls got a nice set of cans on her. You ever see hooters like these? My rack. With a bedroom, queen size beds beds full bed in your childhood bed Are you Decker do you decorate it where the what's the twin twin bed? Yes, I would have I really loved a lot of like 90s hip-hop So it'd be like probably three feet high and rising and you know, like Paul's boutique could just like you know posters These are the posters. Yeah, so a lot of like music stuff and like bands I liked and and
Starting point is 00:35:44 Yeah, so a lot of music stuff and like bands I liked and and TV in the room and a lot I liked Johnny Cash a lot of like Johnny Cash stuff TV in the room No, no, no TV. And what was the first concert you went to I? Think it was I always forget that get this confused, but I feel like it might have been poison. Whoa I I was pretty good. Yeah, I think it was poison. It was like a double build. So it was like poison and something else like that, I'm pretty sure. There was a couple of bands like that.
Starting point is 00:36:11 The Vomiteers? Yeah, your dad's there. Put on the Vomiteers! Vomiteers is somehow even funnier than vomitones. Vomiteers is amazing. Oh, the Vomitones, that's right. I like Vomiteers so much better. But yeah, we went with my friend's mom,
Starting point is 00:36:23 and she was kind of like a throbbing alcoholic. So she had a big thermos, and she was kind good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. I love that she's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom.
Starting point is 00:36:32 She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom.
Starting point is 00:36:40 She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. She's a good mom. I saw poison live did you really yeah, I got to hang out with CC to very my really you hung out with someone I know he has a child with someone. I know his cousin or something like that. I wasn't like tickets He was really cool. I was drinking in his green room. I didn't realize he was sober Get this guy the fuck out of here. Yeah, I was like you're great
Starting point is 00:37:00 Slowed down the night dog. What's up? So did you like that kind of music generally, all that stuff? Yeah, I mean, Poison, like the hits. I didn't know the B side. Like Guns N' Roses, Poison, that kind of stuff. Yeah, that was all before my time. How about Black Sabbath, like Master of Reality,
Starting point is 00:37:16 things like that? Yeah, War Pigs, all that shit was before my time. But I got into it junior high. Well, I'm in the winter of my life, so. Every Rose Has Its Thorn was my first breakup song my freshman year of high school. Really? Were you?
Starting point is 00:37:27 Him and the hot dog guy. Did you get a lot of ass in high school? No. No, no. OK, that actually, the way you laugh at that made me feel better about how this guy was. You close a lot of ass in high school, fatty? Huh?
Starting point is 00:37:41 Did you get a lot of ass? You shit his pants a lot. Well, you broke up. That's something. I mean, you had a relationship. Sure. A lot of guys don't even touch a tit till they're like 21. No, they discontinued the McDLT.
Starting point is 00:37:53 It was devastating for us. What happened? Wait, what happened? You're not frying the apple pies anymore? Every rose has its own. I do remember slow dancing like that, just like, yeah, just rocking back and forth in my backyard. Sure, eighth grade dances and all that stuff?
Starting point is 00:38:07 Yes, I did all that stuff. Also, I think that the reason I didn't go to the, other reason I didn't go to the big dance was because, actually I just realized I had no reason. As I was saying that, I was like, it's because nobody asked you. That's the only reason. What were you driving in high school?
Starting point is 00:38:22 I didn't drive, but I borrowed my mom's, like I didn't have my own car, but I borrowed my mom's, like I didn't have my own car, but I borrowed my mom's Pontiac Lamans, which was the car we had after the Datsun. And I crashed it on the way to school and totaled it and hit a UPS truck. Holy shit, what grade is this? That was junior year.
Starting point is 00:38:41 We didn't have cars, we didn't get cars when we were 16. We bought, sometimes they let us borrow theirs, but like I was on my way to school and I saw my girlfriend who was going to another school Nearby another private school a better one called Barry and I saw I used to see her and get excited when we would see each other Both driving and then I would try to make her laugh So I was like probably doing some dumb character or something and then she killed a FedEx guy and then I yeah I totaled my Oscar. Just reach into the glove box for props. Where the hell is my rubber chicken? I got a hot bit for Stephanie. What about college? Did you go to college? No I did not go to college. You didn't go to college? No I did not go to college. So what did you do right after high school? Did you start stand up immediately? I moved, you guys are just gonna like, this is gonna be the last straw for you.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Cause I feel like you're almost just, you've had it. No, no, no, I'm fat, fascinated in the sense I didn't expect any of this. So this is all like. Okay, okay. These are my favorite episodes. Country clubs, tennis courts, stuff like that. That's what I thought.
Starting point is 00:39:40 I love an episode where I'm so wrong on what I thought. I thought you came from a little bit of cash No, I mean I came from educated like they were everybody was educated everybody went to grad school Sure except for me and I didn't even I there was no discussion and in my school my family You know education was pretty pushed but like there was not even any It was just like we're not even waiting the what do your brothers do? Yeah My younger brother is a social worker like my mom. Okay. And my therapist.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Nice. And he's also like artistic. He's, you know, he draws and paints and stuff. And my older brother is a writer, but he works for Amazon as a creative director. So they were both very bright. They're both very smart. Where did they go to college?
Starting point is 00:40:24 My older brother went to Ithaca and American. And my younger brother, I think, went to Maryland. And they were smart. And also, they were my mom's favorites. She loved my older brother the most. They're really good schools. I know. Yeah, they were smart.
Starting point is 00:40:43 They don't got time to remember all this. They were smart guys. My dad taught at, time to remember all this. They were smirked. My dad taught it, like, I think it was GW. He taught civil rights and, like, they taught in college and all that. But, like, but there wasn't even- first of all, my mom also loves my brother so much more than me. I confronted her about it. I was like, you know, you love Justin the most, then Aaron, then me. My mom goes, wah! I'm like, she didn't even send it. Like, make a- she like fucked her neck up trying to lie. She's like, wah! I'm like saving it sent it like make us say she like fucked her neck up trying to lie
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Starting point is 00:44:01 He was five years older which all of it might have been legal. What? So you were what, 18? I was 17 when I moved to New York. And he was what, 23, something like that? Yeah, 22. Wait, when did you start dating him? I think we might be uncovering a crime, but I... Oh, for sure.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Yeah, like, it was probably was too young, but he was... Yeah, that was more normal back then, though. Right graduate high school you say hey his bands moving to New York I want to move with them. What do your parents say? You're in the biz now yeah, my mom is like outside with probably like a dashiki on like look at Like she had no follow-up questions. Rock and roll, Rach. And what'd you do when you got here? Had you thought about doing stand-up yet?
Starting point is 00:44:52 Had you thought? No. Not at all. No, I didn't. I knew that I wanted to. I did voices and I would impersonate people. And the teacher in my seventh grade class brought me in front of the class and had me do a voice for her.
Starting point is 00:45:05 So I loved, I wanted to be like me being a sketch show. I loved In Living Color. I loved Tracy Allman was really little girl. I would watch Tracy Allman then. Of course. Martin, I loved Martin. I always thought Martin was hilarious. Sure.
Starting point is 00:45:18 So those were all the things I watched growing up. I had a fuzzy idea of doing something like that. Some kind of creative acting. Something performative. Yes, but I had a fuzzy idea of doing something like that, some kind of creative acting. Something performative, yeah. Yes. Gotcha. But I never got into the acting classes and the things, because it's like my grades were
Starting point is 00:45:30 so bad, and it was just like everybody was more worried about whether I was going to graduate. So I hung pretty hard and had fun, but I was so obsessed with this guy, and I would always get really into these very alcoholic men who were ignoring me. And so I would just follow him. Yeah, you don't. Yeah. What's that?
Starting point is 00:45:51 You sound right up my alley. That's my type, working class alcoholic. So yeah, that's what I would do. I would just kind of try to get into these guys that would kind of ignore me and would do a lot of drugs and I would try to like save or fix them and So I would go I went on tour with dick sister And I remember being in the bathroom when they were like arguing on the tour bus and one of the guys was like man
Starting point is 00:46:14 You know, she's messing up the good time like she's messing up her hang or whatever. I was like You were Yoko They're the tour bus though. Pretty good. I mean, by the way, not bus. Like a car, like a van or something like that. It wasn't a bus. So you were being in the back seat. What's that?
Starting point is 00:46:33 Is that what you said? You were in the bathroom with the tour bus? I was in, maybe I wasn't in the bus, but I was somewhere in a bathroom where I walked out because they didn't have, this is obviously, I was 17, so maybe 18, I'm trying to remember it, but I was somewhere where I overheard that conversation. But thinking more clearly, it was not, it couldn't have been a bus, it was probably
Starting point is 00:46:50 like someplace we stopped or like a, maybe somebody's fucking trailer, I don't know. I mean, Dick Sister was not very successful. But I remember. They have no presence on the internet. Nothing? Well, this was like, you know, a long, long time ago. So Dick Sister, they all worked at Tower Records in Maryland.
Starting point is 00:47:05 I think that was so cool. That was cool. That was cool, right? I fucked Tower Records. I was big. That was the first time I went in one. I'm with you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Those guys were like rock stars. Yeah, they were like rock stars. If you just worked at a record store, you were so cool. Very cool. And so we would go to their gigs. And I wasn't really having fun. I was just how many people would show up at a gig for dick sister had some fans I mean they
Starting point is 00:47:29 weren't like you know like a big deal they had their following around Maryland great they got gigs and stuff and I would go on tour with them and and tour was a little more than the vomitones it was like a few more things they lined up, but you know. Did your dad ever ask if he could open? Now rage. Give him my demo. Just put it on in the van, start bobbing your head. He had this big bone, I remember, and he would always hold his bone,
Starting point is 00:47:57 like take his shirt off, and he was always like holding his big bone and jumping around. Your dad or dick sister? Dick sister, it was a lot of foolishness. And then we would go back home afterwards. But I was really just waiting to go back home. I just wanted him to like I just wanted to have him to myself. But then we go back home and then he would just start doing blow
Starting point is 00:48:13 and then like, you know, it would be flaccid. Sounds all right. Yeah. Hit me up, guy. So, yeah. Huh. That's all behind you. Sure is. Successful. You're out there. You're killing it. Let's talk about now a little bit. Okay. Where are you?
Starting point is 00:48:28 What are you living now? An apartment or a house? House. House. You guys own it? Yes, in Queens. My husband bought it with Bitcoin. There we go. We have a Bitcoin house. No shit. Good for him.
Starting point is 00:48:43 He got in early? You know, I think it was 2017, 2018. OK. That's pretty good. Not bad. So he bought a bitcoin. And then everybody in the family was screaming at him about it. His mom's like, guess what?
Starting point is 00:49:00 If that's Christy thing. And then he ends up buying a house with it. Thank god. So that's great. Yeah, we lived in an apartment in Greenpoint when I first met him. like, what if that crazy thing? And then he ends up buying a house with it, thank God. So. That's great. Yeah, we lived in an apartment in Greenpoint when I first met him. I moved into his apartment.
Starting point is 00:49:11 I loved living in Greenpoint. Yeah, it's the best. And it was fun. And he had this one bedroom or whatever, and that's where I met him when he was a fireman, still just a regular fireman. And now he's, and then he just like, was really into Bitcoin.
Starting point is 00:49:24 You know, he loves, all his books just like, was really into Bitcoin, you know, he's like, he loves, all his books are like, government delight that never was, and some shit like that, so he was always like, screaming about the government and stuff, like yeah. Taxation without representation. He was always yelling at me about taxes, and I'm like, I don't give a shit about any of this,
Starting point is 00:49:39 for the love of God, yeah. Okay, when you personally, right, when you first got a decent check from comedy Whether it be anything was there any stupid purchase where you're like you might have got a $10,000 check You're like I spent seven on something Honestly, it like it would never be one big thing But I remember getting I remember that my friend told me that if you want to make money that you have to write down The amount of money that you if you want to make money that you have to write down the amount of money that
Starting point is 00:50:05 You'll you want to make? April Macy this comedian and I was still full-time nanny at the time and bartending and she said if you want to quit your day job You have to write down on a paper how much money you want to make and then say that you're gonna make it and write These sentences out and I did and then it was a bad word of affirmation It works then I got and then I got a Comedy Central gig and then I fucking works. Positive affirmation. And it works. Then I got a Comedy Central gig, and then I made that exact amount. I still think about that, because when I was doing it,
Starting point is 00:50:29 I was like, I don't know, whatever. And what amount of money would you need to have in your bank account to feel like you could quit your job? And my fear was always, because I got fired from a lot of jobs, besides babysitting, because I really love kids, but my fear was I'll be homeless at best.
Starting point is 00:50:44 I'll have a great garden situation. I cannot, I'm very disorganized, I'm mangled with ADD. I was like, I can't not have something. And she's like, put right down how much you would need to feel like you could do that. And I did, and then I got, I think it was like two weeks later, I got a gig that was exactly that much. My first time on TV, then I did Last Comic Standing.
Starting point is 00:51:02 I was very attached to this little boy that I took care of. So I also felt a lot of guilt leaving, because he was autistic and I did all this different sort of therapy and different things with him, and the stuff that I would learn from all his specialists and stuff. So I was with him a very long time, and he was at our wedding,
Starting point is 00:51:18 we're still very close with the family. But then, so after all that, I made that amount, and then I got on Last Comic Standing, and did that audition, I made that amount, and then I got on Last Comic Standing and did that audition. I auditioned for it several times and not got on. But that time, I got on that season. And that, I got it to the, I think I was the seventh or something in the country, top 10.
Starting point is 00:51:35 So then I got to quit my day job. And that was when I started headlining and not opening. Nice. Have you always been smart with money? Do you save your money? Not very smart with money, but I'm not really like, I don't really go into debt. Yeah, I just like, I'm like, oh money, and I spend it,
Starting point is 00:51:53 but I don't go into debt. I'm not very like, I don't want a lot of things. Like, I don't want like a ton of shoes or anything like that. But I just like, I get money and I get excited about it and I spray it around. What was your first adult vacation that you went on by yourself or with your girlfriends?
Starting point is 00:52:08 God, I can't even remember. Or friends, as an adult? Oh, you know what, actually, I went with my brother, my younger brother, to Spain. Okay, that's good. And it was to him and three of his friends. This is after comedy? This is like-
Starting point is 00:52:20 No, this was very young. I was like, my grandmother, when she died, she gave me some money for acting lessons. It was like a couple thousand dollars for acting classes because I had said that I wanted to do comedy and acting. Okay. So she gave me, I remember, she gave me some books of plays and it was very sweet
Starting point is 00:52:39 and I was dating another ludicrous alcoholic that threw away my fucking Jane Austen books that she gave me in my like fucking Tennessee William plays but anyway, it's some sort of alcoholic rage No reading when I'm around. Yeah, it's like not for women, but uh, I've said those words But no newspapers Yeah, you'll have to go get a lobotomy if you do. So I remember that I was basically like, you know, I was, sorry, I don't even remember the question.
Starting point is 00:53:10 I just keep saying it. Vacation. Oh, we went to Spain. So my brother, that was so frantic. The way I just said that was so unwell. We went to Spain. Every story has a little alcoholic dickhead detour. I know, because I was always with a crazy alcoholic.
Starting point is 00:53:25 Like, I was always screaming out my window, like, I'm sorry. I would call AA, like, the 1-800 number. I didn't understand that you can't make somebody not be an alcoholic. No, you don't understand. It's not just whiskey. It's all alcohol. But anyway, so I went to Spain with my brother and three
Starting point is 00:53:44 of his friends and that was- What's the money that she left you for? She said she told me to take a trip as well. She was very lovely. She said take a trip and I think it was like, you know, at the time it was like $4,000, which was a lot. I took some acting classes and I went to Spain with my brother. She said take a marvelous trip.
Starting point is 00:54:01 She told me that when I was alive. She said take a trip and do whatever you're fond of. She was alive. She said, take a trip and do whatever you're fond of. She was funny. She was so funny. Find the Spanish alcohol and go get it. Whatever you want to do, it's fine with me. They got plenty of burnouts overseas. As long as they actually.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Find a nice guy who loves the ingredient. And we went to Spain with him and three of his friends. And I remember that we were in, we went to this little island off the coast of Spain called Mallorca. Yes, very popular. Have you been there? No, my wife's European, so that's their, like, that's their, not Hawaii, but that's where they all go.
Starting point is 00:54:32 It's beautiful. They're Ocean City, Maryland. It's their secret. But we went in like January, and no one told me I was supposed to go to Mallorca. By the way, I planned this trip with like, you know, three 19-year-old kids or whatever. Like, I think my, I must have been in my very early 20s. My brother was three, or my teens, I don't know. My brother was three years younger than me. So I went with kids that were younger than me,
Starting point is 00:54:52 three dudes that just wanted to get like, you know, lit. And so we, with no fucking plan. So we went and we knew one person in Spain, and then we decided we should take this boat to Majorca. And there was nobody on the boat because nobody was going to Mallorca. It was like the middle of the winter. It was like January and everybody was like,
Starting point is 00:55:09 why are you on? And it was- You sure about that? Yeah. So we went to Mallorca. Rachel. And it was like, I think it's a very long boat ride. I think it's like 10 hours or something from Barcelona.
Starting point is 00:55:20 That's too long of a boat ride. Again, feel free to correct me if you're reading, cause I don't remember, it was a long time ago, but it felt very long. So wherever from Barcelona, I believe, to Mallorca. So I remember there was this guy on the boat, and he was like kind of strange gypsy, like whoever would be on the fucking boat in the middle of the winter that would know better.
Starting point is 00:55:39 In the off season. So exactly. So then my brother and him started playing cards, and everybody was getting drunk. And then one of the guys says to my brother, they started arguing about something. And he's like, what do you know? You're a stupid American.
Starting point is 00:55:52 And my brother had been reading these books called Count of Monte Cristo. Have you heard of it? Of course. So he was very into this idea of manhood. But I'm like, you can't read your way into manhood. You're like an Ebishi Jewish guy. Just get over guy just get over it could be like a knight or something you've dishonored my country so he like oh well fight for your honor
Starting point is 00:56:22 I Like I thought it was fully kids throwing he's like you're good. Don't you look at me? Yeah Get back to the saddest vacation in the world it's three and a half hours to the Three and a half it's three and a half or twelve and a half depending on what kind of vessel you got probably she was only twelve It was like a it was like a big boat felt like a ship or something But it was like a dumb ship like a slow ship so And my brother brought this big stuffed dinosaur everywhere we went and they called it and they called the guy the dinosaur Ricardo so they put the dinosaur on the table everywhere and they'd be like Ricardo and it's just an idiot like vaguely racist American
Starting point is 00:57:12 morons and they always had the stupid stuffed animal that they said was a good lock and probably gonna like bring them ass or something so we Ricardo is always stuffed animals. A couple of lady killers. Have you seen my allergy medication Ricardo? Do you have a friend for my Care Bear ladies? So in the middle of this is almost done, I'm sorry. So we're in the middle of this table getting everybody's doing like shots and stuff and then my brother starts arguing with this guy who could clearly like clean the floor, mop the floor with him. Like he could kick my brother's ass easily.
Starting point is 00:57:47 I remember what he said. He says, you're a stupid American. What do you know? My brother stands up and he's fucking loaded. He's like, I'm a man, which you don't announce if you are, by the way. I got a wiener, sir. It's more of a show don't tell situation. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:58:04 I'm a tree and you need to put that into a sentence. And he's like, I'm a man, sir, and I'm not going to be spoken to like that. And he's like, especially in front of my family. And then he like nodded at me and I was like, I don't know this guy. This is my drunk sister right here. She's taking acting classes. He's like, I'm a man, I'm not gonna tolerate that kind of disrespects And then he's like I'm leaving this poker game. Everybody's like all right
Starting point is 00:58:30 Fuck yeah, and then my brother picks up at that moment the dinosaur not even realizing how hysterical This is puts it under his shoulder and like gave him like a last cut of puffed up for one more time And then this waiter was like and then then he like, he turns around, he talks to his friend for a second, he puts the dinosaur back down, starts to go down the stairs, and then this waiter walks up and he goes, this senor, you're done this way.
Starting point is 00:58:52 I'll see you in hell. Jesus. That was my first vacation, but you know what? It was fun. Sounds real nice. But it was like, we got loaded, we went around Spain, it was fine. You know when you're like all you want at that age when you're very poor is just like you want to laugh and have some drinks.
Starting point is 00:59:12 That's all I want now. Yeah. Alright. Huh. Okay. Are you flying up front? Do you like to fly up front? First class? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Yes, well something like probably like half the time. OK. Do you bring food on the plane? Sometimes when I'm trying not to eat certain things, I'll bring stuff from home. You know, like. Such as? Well, Jessica and Nikki, both when they're on diets,
Starting point is 00:59:38 told me what to do on the road. So Nikki was like a glazer. She was like, get like Smart Pop and get these kinds of. Like you bring a bag of snacks. Yeah, like snacks. You're not bringing like salmon or anything. No, I don't bring like a laser. She was like get like smart pop and get a bag of Like salmon or anything No, no, but like just I'll be like bring rice cake cakes and like, you know almond butter So sometimes I get it together to do that because okay, but but I also will eat anything That's kind of why I do that sometimes. Will you take your shoes off on the plane? Will eat anything that's kind of why I do that sometimes. Will you take your shoes off on the plane?
Starting point is 01:00:10 If I'm really tired, but like I should have keep my socks on and yeah not be disgusting I don't nobody needs my dogs out my dogs man between rack and my dogs. You're like my dad Are you flossing every dogs is a fun term? No, I know I don't daily refer to them Like I don't go to a pedicure and get a pedicure. I'm like hey Can you get my left dog? You know like no it just Are you flossing every day? I floss yes shower in the morning shower at night Depends yeah in the shower I shower before I have to go somewhere Okay, now and again, but I don't like wait to pee in the shower. Will you brush your teeth in there? No Okay wait to pee in the shower. Will you brush your teeth in there? No. Interesting. OK.
Starting point is 01:00:47 You guys brush your teeth in the shower? I started to because of this show, yeah. Only if I'm in a rush. Will you dance at a wedding? We danced at our wedding. We got dance lessons, and we did a big dance. Really? Oh, that's nice.
Starting point is 01:00:59 Like a ballroom dance? We did ballroom, and then it was like there were some changes in it. And then it went to salsa salsa and there was a lift. Yeah, so we took dance lessons. Was it a hit? Did people like it or were people like, Jesus Christ? It was all comics and firemen.
Starting point is 01:01:14 So Tom Papa did our wedding and Colin Quinn. And so it was firemen getting shithoused in Staten Island and a bunch of comedians. So I think they were into it. I was like, people are gonna think this is ridiculous. And my friends like, of course they will. That's why it'll be like awesome. Yeah, it's probably fun.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Staten Island wedding. Staten Island, my husband's like, I got a guy out there. Okay. Out there in the island. What was the, I'm gonna ask you this. Do you remember what the entree choices were at your wedding? I think it was pretty simple.
Starting point is 01:01:43 It was like, we had really good food. It was this place called like, we got it catered outside, but it was like this place, it's like these big gardens there or something. Like everybody was just trashing us for having in Staten Island every speech. But I think it's called Snug Harbor. But it was actually a very lovely place.
Starting point is 01:02:00 And the wedding planner that we used, she brought in all this really good Italian food and like taco trucks. And so we had a lot she brought in all this really good Italian food and like, you know, taco trucks. And yeah, so we had a lot of food. And we had good music. What was the haul from the wedding? What'd you guys pull in cash wise?
Starting point is 01:02:12 Oh my God, I have no memory of it, but hopefully it played for the more, comedians are pretty generous. Yeah, I think we made, I think we made back a lot of the money that we spent cause we paid for it ourselves. Good, did you do a honeymoon? We did. Where'd you go? Bora Bora we spent, because we paid for it ourselves. Good. You did do a honeymoon? We did.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Where'd you go? Bora Bora. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. That's Bitcoin cash right there. Your brother and his friends didn't go with you, did they? No. Like a dinosaur at home. All right.
Starting point is 01:02:36 My husband got our Bora Bora vacation through Costco, because he loves Costco. So he was like, Costco's going to Bora Bora. Every time I think you're turning the corner now. Jesus Christ. But it was nice. How do you get a vacation at Costco? Apparently they have like a travel program
Starting point is 01:02:50 and he's obsessed with Costco. Like he actually, when he proposed to me. He's pulling up with 15 pounds of mac and cheese and airline tickets. Pretty much. He's like, now we can be a bunch of it. Babe, I had to buy a lot of olives. You're not going to believe this.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Pack your bags. He basically, he was like, when he proposed to me, he's like, I'm going to drive. He told me, like we were talked about getting married. So I knew that he was going to propose already. And he said that he wanted to ask my dad, you know. So I was like, okay. So I knew that my dad's not that kind of guy. Like he would be like, why are you here?
Starting point is 01:03:27 What, who? Yeah. Who are you? You wanna marry what one? The one with the wet hair? Take her. That was pretty much what happened. My dad was like, oh, I guess I'll trade her
Starting point is 01:03:37 for like an older goat. Like he made a dumb joke about trading me for an elder goat of his. I need a new amplifier. Yeah. So he drove down and I was like, that's actually kind of, because my husband's not romantic, I was like, that's sweet.
Starting point is 01:03:49 Oh, that's very sweet. So I go, that's really sweet that you wanted to ask my dad's permission actually. And he goes, yeah, because I could also get the new iPhone tax-free in Delaware, Costco on a way. I mean, I've heard all I need to fucking hear. But he did, and as...
Starting point is 01:04:09 He's getting duty free iPhones. That's tax free shopping down here. You weren't supposed to tell me that part, you moron. Is that the main grocery store you guys go to now? Are you shopping at Costco for the house? Pete is obsessed with Costco. I've done multiple bits about it, like he knows I've said don't get me something from Costco, I don't want anything from Costco. And then he just gets me things from Costco. I've done multiple bits about it. Like he knows, I've said, don't get me something from Costco. I don't want anything from Costco. And then he just gets me things
Starting point is 01:04:29 from Costco. It's fascinating. He just loves it so much. Like firemen, first of all, love grocery shopping. Like they're always in a grocery store. They all cook for large amounts of people and they're all, a lot of them are libertarian. So they're always preparing for some kind of like end of the world recording stuff from the government. They need a lot of them are libertarians, so they're always preparing for some kind of like end of the world recording stuff from the government situation. They need a lot of mac and cheese. Yeah, they want to eat like the founding fathers. For when the Fed shuts down.
Starting point is 01:04:51 Yeah. That's all right. Pretty much. Huh. Do you not go into Whole Foods? You? We go to Trader Joe's. Sometimes we go to Whole Foods.
Starting point is 01:05:02 I mean, honestly, I don't go grocery shopping that much because he loves it, but he likes Trader Joe's too. He'll go on the row with me and go grocery shopping to like the first day, and I'm like, I'm willing to be here for two days, but he just loves to go grocery shopping. Are you staying in a hotel when he does this, or like an Airbnb?
Starting point is 01:05:17 In a hotel, I'm like, what are you doing, Pete? What's he doing with the groceries? He just eats them, but we get like bags and bags of apples and shit. In the hotel room? Yeah. Apples in the hotel room isn't crazy. I'll be like bags and bags of apples and shit. Is the hotel room? Yeah. I mean, apples in the hotel room isn't crazy. I guess that's not that crazy. I mean, this is a bit of a cliche, but does he make a good chili?
Starting point is 01:05:31 Oh, yeah, he does. He's a good cook. We both cook like we both like cooking. Yeah. I kind of feel like he cooks way more and could cook more things. But I feel like I'm better because like he just kind of throws it all in there, like at the firehouse, you know, like I make like a good like honey soy salmon like I make like a good dish you know something a little more refined right whereas he'll just make like tons of big ziti or something that sounds alright you can take your your honey crusted salmon you gotta keep her ass
Starting point is 01:06:02 big ziti will stay in that fridge for a while. All you gotta do is microwave it, try to eat two minutes. I mean, I'm fascinated. Yeah. Have you ever left a bad Yelp review? Mm-mm. No, are you currently in a beef with a neighbor? I don't ever bother reviewing,
Starting point is 01:06:22 even when somebody's been in absolute ludicrous cons on a plane where I'm like I'll tell Delta and I'm like Yeah, it's not good tipper. I am a very good tipper. Where did you bartend when you were because I bartended That's right. Yeah, where were you working in the city? I worked at this bar called Coravus. There's a comedian Carrie Coravus She still does stand-up. She's very funny She lives in in Long Island and she got me a job working at her brother's bar, Caravis. And so it was I was not a great bartender, but I was good hang. You mentioned he got fired a lot. What were the reasons that
Starting point is 01:06:54 you were getting fired? The business was always right. They always made the best choice for their business. There was no like dispute. It was like I was like, Hey, did they serve food at these bars or was it more drinking bars? Caravaz served food. They had really good food. It was right on Sixth Avenue in Westport.
Starting point is 01:07:10 So it was fun because I remember. Yeah. And I remember when it was right there on the corner there, like next to like where the hot dog place is now. And I remember that Atel would come in there. And I was so nervous when David's would come in. I'm nervous when I talk to him now. Yeah. Thanks for the memories. It was like I was like, oh, my God. And David Teller would come in. Cause like, yeah. I'm nervous when I talk to him now. Yeah, skanks for the memories was like, I was like, oh my God.
Starting point is 01:07:27 And he would come in, I'd make him a drink and he would always leave like the sweetest, biggest sip. By the way, it's always the guys that like, my experience on the road opening for all these comedians, it was always the guys that were kind of like, you know, the dirtier acts or like, I mean, it tells probably one of the most brilliant comics I've ever seen, but he also will go to dark places. It was always those guys that would like, you know, the dirtier acts or whatever. I mean, Atel's probably one of the most brilliant comics I've ever seen, but he also will go to dark places.
Starting point is 01:07:47 It was always those guys that would treat you so respectfully, treat you like a comedian first. It was never, the guys that were always like the family guys or whatever, they would always be the weird ones, the ones that were like, you can't curse, but there was some strange list of things I wasn't allowed to say on stage.
Starting point is 01:08:03 They were always like the naughtiest fucking animals. But it was the guys like Attell that would be just like sweethearts. Like he would come into my bar and I would talk to him about how I wanted to do standup and was doing open mics. Like who would wanna listen to any of this? And he was always so nice, tip me a bunch of money,
Starting point is 01:08:20 tell me to keep going, not to give up. And to this day, he'll text me. Even when I started and I had no friends in comedy, my heart was pounding when I was speaking to a comedian. I was like, I can't believe this is happening. He would be like, give me good advice, put a ton of money on the bar, and then every year, in Jewish New Year, he'll be Shanah Tova.
Starting point is 01:08:41 He always is just lovely. He's a sweet man. A doll. We just had him in not that long ago. He was unbelievable. It's so funny Do you have a go-to alcoholic beverage? I? Drink like dumb twat drinks like drinks that bartenders like gonna be like this bitch. Let me get three fuzzy navels Yeah, it's like like a mouth Malibu pineapples like white Russian not now, but like that's what I drank for many years It's just like the dumbest sweetest drinks we figured out recently that my husband was
Starting point is 01:09:08 bartending at this bar I think I can't remember the name of the bar but it's on McDougall still off the off the wagon yeah off the wagon anyway so I would a big firefighter bar too I yeah yeah I think or maybe it was next to off the wagon there was another place next off the wagon where they had comedy in a backroom there the pair yeah so he I think he was bartending there and I Maybe it was next to Off the Wagon. There was another place next to Off the Wagon where they had comedy in a back room. The Pear. The Pear. So I think he was bartending there and I would do that room. And it took us a few years of dating
Starting point is 01:09:31 that he was like, wait, I remember you were in my bar and then he remembered my drink. He was like, you get white Russians. But we'd known each other when I was like 23 and stuff. Yeah, I would drink really dumb drinks and I'm a lightweight too, so I get drunk really fast. Now I have like a Prosecco or something. But like I was pretty, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:49 Gleisy. Got it at Walmart, but still pretty gleisy. Do you read? I always read a lot. I always love to read. And even when I was failing out of school, I would read and I would get like sad when the book would end and then I would have another one like started, you know,
Starting point is 01:10:04 cause my dad was a reader. So like- like your educated family. I liked the Russian stuff I loved it like Anna Karenina like and the brothers Karamazov like I loved like big Russian Is like 7,000 pages it's a great book though And when I was a very little girl my mom got me these books called I always just really wanted to be Catholic And I was really it was like getting to the point where my mom was like, she's gotta accept that she's not Catholic at some point.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Like I was obsessed. I wanted a cross and all of it. So I had this Catholic babysitter and she was so beautiful and I just, you know. So my mom, to make me feel better about being a little Jewish girl, got me these books called All of a Kind Family and it's all about like this family in New York
Starting point is 01:10:44 and they're all like, you know, they Jewish, and they're in the 1940s, and they all would have interesting little snacks, and they would go and get nickel candies at the store. And so I still think about that, and it made me wanna move to New York when I was a kid. King size bed at the house now? Yes, we have a king size bed. Do you guys have a TV in the room?
Starting point is 01:11:05 Upstairs, we have, it's a five bedroom house, so it's the top level, it's an old- Bitcoin. Bitcoin. Five bedrooms, New York City, it's a goddamn Rockefeller. He bought Bitcoin from some guy in a deli named Gino, and now we have a five bedroom house.
Starting point is 01:11:20 Fucking sick. That was just that maintained. Yeah, or he found a safe in some burned out brownstone. That's fair. There's a bunch of bitcoins in here. Knocked off a Dominican for a couple of kilos. I mean, the boys came out with some heavy pockets. Yeah, what's the-
Starting point is 01:11:36 By the way, he did major construction on the whole house. So him and four firemen, he won't hire anybody that's not a fireman, but they basically renovator a whole house So like you know it's like worse. It's it's bills because we own this house. That's why I'm like on the road It's not like I like over rich now. No, of course it all went into the house. We don't have any more He told me that he kept one for Frankie that Frankie had her own Bitcoin and but then but then like there was that scam What's the guy bank been freed and yes, he has Frankie's Bitcoin
Starting point is 01:12:11 He blew that money putting the pole in the house Although I heard like maybe there might be a settlement soon. I'm really hoping cuz we need some blinds Wait, so hold on. Do you do you guys go when you go to bed at night? Do you guys is the TV on when you guys go to bed? Wait, so hold on, do you guys go to bed at night? Is the TV on when you guys go to bed? Often we are, yes, well we put my Frankie down, if he's not at the fire house, then we'll get in the bed and start watching something,
Starting point is 01:12:34 and then one of us will fall asleep, and then Frankie will wake us up again, and then we'll go back to the bed with her or something, or some mixture of that. But yeah, we were watching Jinx, and he'll start snoring in my face, like fog-horning away. And then I'm just like, whatever. That's what I was looking for.
Starting point is 01:12:49 What kind of car are you guys looking around in? There is a TV in the room, but we end up watching the laptop, for some reason. Go ahead. Well, because it's kind of far. It's like a big room. And I'm like, you've got to move the TV up. And he's like, he always thinks I don't understand stuff,
Starting point is 01:13:02 because I don't. So he's always like, you don't understand. If I do't so he's always like you don't understand if I do that Then it's gonna mess up the stair. I can't move He's always worried about his property and like I'm always fucking something up like right now on my My phone guarantees like you need to remember to put the right remotes back in the right things for you Strong yeah, he is I'm always a trouble Is there anything in the fridge that's his and his alone like diet root beers or anything like that that you're not allowed to have? This shit that's his I want no part of okay, like cuz he has like he drinks that like bark black chocolate
Starting point is 01:13:34 I was like my daughter was like a candy bar. I'm like you're gonna cry Frankie when you taste that that's uncut stuff Yeah, so he's really into that and like he he eats sardines and he had this ludicrous mustache like like, you know Just fucking a scotland yard mustache and he eats sardines out of a can. I'm like, it's disgusting Pete So this shit that's his I don't want at all He's like really into weird stuff like he grows his own micro greens and stuff. I don't know. Yeah, I'm not into it And what are the cars? The cars we have one car it's it's a so funny I always forget music how do not know what kind of fucking guy that's such a that's
Starting point is 01:14:11 such a lady thing yeah cuz he'd research it forever and he kept talking to me about it I was like shh is it an SUV it's a Mazda but it's a certain kind of Mazda I can't remember okay SRX orX or whatever it is? Is it an SUV? He's gonna give me so much shit when he sees this. I don't remember what kind of Mazda. Yeah, it's like an SUV. Okay, alright. It's a Mazda SUV. Yeah, and he like always tries to like get to the bottom
Starting point is 01:14:36 of his purchases where I'm just like whatever. I just get whatever is like Amazon's choice. Yeah, who cares? You guys eat in the car? Yes. Do you eat fast food? I don't eat fast food that much. I eat pizza. I love pizza.
Starting point is 01:14:49 Okay. How about you guys? Do you guys eat fast food? Is that a serious question? No. If we're jammed up on the road drunk, Uber eats maybe. Right. If you're in fucking Tallahassee.
Starting point is 01:14:58 Like what did you guys have for dinner last night? I love that. I was going to ask you what you had for breakfast this morning. It's one of my favorite questions. Me too. I love to know what people just ate. Yeah. What did I have for dinner? Oh rotisserie chicken.
Starting point is 01:15:12 That's pretty sad. And some some cauliflower. Oh that's good. I got leftovers from my lady and her mom at the dinner. It was a Korean sushi roll that had bagoge in it, which is like cooked meat.
Starting point is 01:15:28 I'm gonna keep our street cred up. I had a cauliflower pizza, pork rinds, and French onion dip. I had a rotisserie chicken! And seven Budweiser. That is vile. Yeah, not great. Oh no, dear, my God.
Starting point is 01:15:44 Yeah, breakfast this morning, I'm trying to remember this morning I had to leave early because I had to do radio So I think I had like a bar but usually I'd have maybe Make oatmeal for my daughter or like scrambled eggs, and I like to put avocado, balsamic, vinaigrette, and salt and pepper on top It's very yummy snack. I'm with you. Okay. I mean you're still fucking trash. Yeah, none of this is pulling me out of the fire No, it's not good. No. I mean that're still fucking yeah, none of this is pulling me out of the fire. No. It's not good No, I mean that was you are 100% Baltimore or Maryland trash a legendary tale
Starting point is 01:16:13 Not expecting any of that, but I feel like you're you seem disappointed No, not at all shocked like I've said I've those has the credit score completely miss read it I think my credit score is not bad Yeah Cuz like I said I don't really go in a lot of debt because I lose things a lot so I lose debit cards all The time and stuff so I I'm always shedding debit cards. No, I am trash. So I don't know I don't get Like a lot it I don't like open a lot of things because it requires too much paperwork I said in my vows to my husband it because our vows were just like silly
Starting point is 01:16:49 But one of the reasons that I really like I need to be with somebody that can fill out forms like he fills out All the forms he knows what's going on. I don't know. I just like hand him some cash He handles it all yeah, nothing's pulling you out of this your trash can 100% trash, and we love it. Thank you so much Love it. Yeah, you guys make your beds? No. Do you? No. Does your husband?
Starting point is 01:17:08 Yes, like a military style. So it's made in the morning. Yes, like his side of the bed is just, it looks like a guy preparing to kill himself in like a military suicide. That's how his bed looks. And how many pillows do you sleep with? How many do you have behind your head?
Starting point is 01:17:22 Do you hug one? Do you have one between your legs? Maybe two. I'm not real anal with stuff like that. Like I could sleep on a couch. I don't care. I don't have like a lot of demands like that. Do you sleep on your back or on your side? My side. Do you ever take the comforter off the bed and move it to the couch?
Starting point is 01:17:36 No, I don't do that. And he gets mad because he says that I pull it off of him. There's always a lot of like notes, but you know, some of them are fair, but he's OCD, which I've learned recently, because I talk about it on stage, and half my crowd now is firefighters and their families. So they explain things to me, because I'm newly married to a firefighter just since 2018.
Starting point is 01:17:58 They're like, oh, the reason he's like that is because of the firehouse, because everything's like drills, it's like this military ship. So he's always letting me know like my infractions or whatever But I don't take the something the couch off the bed is it's like a sadness to the bed now No, I don't do that. I respect it gang the special is big guy. It's out on Netflix right now Rachel Feinstein Are you on tour you wanted the folks out there to know Rachel Feinstein underscores my Instagram?
Starting point is 01:18:22 I usually put all my dates up there or a punch Punch Up Live, if you go to Punch Up Live website, they, you just go backslash Rachel Feinstein. That has all my dates on tour. And watch Big Guy on Netflix. Of course. It's a one hour special that just came out. Home run, Rachel Feinstein, 100% trash. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:40 Home run of an episode. Kipy, what do you got for them? Guys, we're all over the road. Get your tickets at rugarbage.com. Check it out, buddy. We love you. Thank you for coming Also, that was so fun and gang. We love you. We'll see you next week. Thanks guys

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