Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ralph Barbosa!

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Ralph Barbosa! You know Ralph Barbosa from Flagrant w/ Andrew Schulz, the Dope as Usual podcast, The Tonight Show, Bertcast w/ Bert Kreischer, Chrissy Chaos, and of course stand up comedy! Make sure to check out his new Netflix special "Cowabunga"! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! NEW LIVE SHOWS: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Beam: https://shopbeam.com/garbage Promo Code: Cyber Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Gang that state trashy tour is coming into the home stretch, baby. Mm-hmm. Grab some tickets and come out and see the boys. Little stand up comedy plus who play a little lay wide. You with the crowd. It's a good, good time. Yeah. Uh, in November, we're coming to Pontiac, Michigan. Then four shows in Chicago will annoy limited tickets remaining for them. Get those, baby.

Then we're hitting Minneapolis, Madison, Milwaukee Sacramento, San Francisco, San Jose, Washington, DC. Then we're adding it and Philadelphia. Two huge shows at the film where get those tickets That's gonna sell out. We love you, his gang Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash now here are your, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.

This is our You Garbage. Oh yeah. So I'll show you sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I think you're to be classy. Yeah. I do just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition. saw her knocked down a half a bottle of nightquill, okay?

So then there's gonna be a little late tonight boys. All right, all right My co-host is coming at you from right next to me really sticking to me with the Tuddy's name No, no, no, no, no, don't fucking work on that for two weeks. Don't put that on me He is the CEO of our you garbage. He is international business man He's my best pal in the whole wide world. up her KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody what up gang Thanks for tuning in as always because make sure you're a review subscribing to his full video available on YouTube as you know Those numbers are true to roof cooking, baby Then obviously the greatest website all vote

I W-W-W-W-W-W-W Patreon dot com slash are you garbage gang? It's a goddamn party over there Yes, sir and having a nice quick shout out to our producer extra in an air to magic man makes us all look good works the ones that do's The threes and the fours he crosses the T's and he dots the eyes Give it up for T-bone McScruff and Toby McMillan everybody. What up boys? What up? Hey pal? Yo, this guy we got it in here get him to a roulette table the kids got a hot It's on a heater of a heater this year. Scorching up the earth. Gang along Harriet line, because we could be more excited to have our credibly,

and I mean incredibly special guests here with us today for the first time. He has a very funny stand up comedian who was on a meteoric rise right now. You've seen him just about everywhere. You've seen him on a tonight show with Jimmy Foun. He's on tour right now, and he has a brand new Netflix special out right now

called Cowabunga. Give it up for Ralph Barbosa everybody Very what's the fucking kids in the town you guys you guys have such great podcast voice Talk real fast This guy was throwing out the was like W W's dot com I was like oh shit with the weather and the traffic real quick. Keep it moving, baby. Buddy, thanks for coming in. Congratulations. Thank you.

Thanks for having me. You're fucking blowing up, man. I do all right. That's all right. Give us the backstory. Where'd you grow up? Tell us the whole deal. Texas, right?

Texas. I grew up in Dallas, Texas. We're actually a suburb of Dallas called the Mesquitex. Okay. Yeah, I was like one block away from the Dallas, Texas. We're actually a suburb of Dallas called the Mesquitex. Okay. Yeah, I was like one block away from the Dallas city limit. So growing up, I wasn't even like allowed to claim Dallas by actual Dallas residents. Now they claim me.

Yeah, no, not at all. They get the hot hand. Like go Ralph, I always love Drown. But now I'm like, no, no, no. I'm from the honor of specifying people with me. And downtown Dallas. Yeah, I hear Staten Island, I hear New York, it's a lot of crap. And I feel like Muske, it's kind of like the Staten Island

of the world. Yeah, Staten Island catches a lot of shit from everybody else. Yeah, so yeah, that's where I'm from out in Dallas, Muske, whatever. Classics are bourbon upbringing? Yeah, it's the kind of place where like, are my Hispanic relatives who like lived in the hood?

Didn't respect me. They're like, no, bro, you live in a good neighborhood. But then like all the people that I went to school with that lived in like real suburbs, like if I told the white guys from the streets, they're just like, ill. Ha, David from the hood. Yeah, there's no winning, man.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, man. Stuck in purgatory. What was, you grow with your mom, dad, brother, sisters? What was the... Actually grew up with my grandparents. Okay. Yeah, you know, it's wild, man, because like, when parents get divorced, they always tell the kid, like, yo, it's not your fault, it's not your fault. But I don't know, like, my...

I feel like you're better better by the fault. Yeah, it's not your fault, but I don't know like my Feel like it better better by fault. Yeah, my dad left me with my mom, my mom left me with my grandparents And eventually my grandpa left me with my grandma like damn the common denominator I'm just trying to get the fuck away from you So me and my grandma were real close, you know, for now. Yeah, yeah, who knows what happens? Any brothers or sisters? Yeah, I got like a ton of half siblings, man. I don't call them half-fibs, not to their face. Just in public, I don't know that dude.

Just on podcast. Yeah, I got a, so I got a sister in Mexico that my dad had with a lady, a Mexican lady. And then I have my teenage brother and sister who I currently live with, now I live with my dad. So like my dad, my stepmom, actually, they just had another baby, so I got like a tiny baby sister. And then with on my mom's side,

my mom has one other daughter, she's a preteen. How old are you now? I turned 27, today today actually I want to I want to spend it with you guys. Thank you. Happy birthday. We didn't get you anything But that's all right take anything you want on the studio take that peanut butter jar back Okay, so so there's a 27 year age difference between you and your youngest sibling. Mm-hmm, damn.

Where does your mom and dad go? So you said your dad left you with your mom that he stay in town or they just got a divorce? Or did he dip? No, they weren't, they were never married. But they were living together at a certain point. They were, they had me as like teenagers. Okay, and they were living together

and then they split up. And then when I was maybe like five, my dad was on probation and he like, for reasons I won't get into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't turn up. He like, he like beat the shit out some guy and he thought he was gonna go to jail. So he just like took off.

Damn. And then he came back, he got like a lawyer and he only did like two weeks to jail. So he just like took off. Damn. And then he came back, he got like a lawyer and he only did like two weeks in jail. So it wasn't your fault. Yeah, nah. But I got a comment. So guy running his mouth. But nah, my mom, my mom was just like, just young,

like wild, she was just out there like doing her thing, you know? Yeah, teenager, you know what I mean? Yeah, and so yeah, she just, I don't know, was out there. I don't know where she went. I was never really asked. Damn. But sometimes she would come live with us. We lived, cause I always stayed with my grandma.

They were always in Mesquite, your grandparents. Mm-hmm. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, and so no matter what though, I always stayed with my grandma. And sometimes my mom would come live with us. And I would be like, look who comes running back to us. I think it's so great out there, huh, is it mom?

Even when I was like 23 and she was still like, come live with us, like she like stayed with us at that point, I always reminded her like me and grandma let you stay with us. Yeah, this ain't your house. You guys, yeah. We're waiting for you to get back on your feet. Did she have a room when she would come home or is she on the couch or the big

shadow room, shower room, yeah. Okay. Huh. And what's your grandma do for a living girl? And what's she working? No. No. My, my uncle made my grandma like retired when he was like 15 or 16.

He used to sell drugs. Damn. Okay. Yeah. So it's a shape it up Welcome to the show I think we've made our decision Best pro-chomp you're 15 year-old old uncle makes his grandma or makes your mom retire god damn Okay, so that was what was funding the lifestyle. Yeah, so

Back then that street that we lived on in Mesquite was like, I mean, that area was like pretty nice. Now it's like kind of going downhill, but we were like the first like people of color to move into that block. And then I think actually my neighbor from across street was the first person of color. But yeah, other than than that it was like an all white neighborhood My uncle As a as a as a teenager was making like really good money and he got my

One of my mom was pregnant. He convinced like my my mom their mom my grandma my grandpa and everybody to like let him Find a realtor and and move them out. Oh damn. Yeah, they were living on the east part of Dallas. Okay. And it was really, really bad. It was like really dangerous. And yeah, he got them to move like two days before I was born.

And I'm telling you that area was pretty nice at that time. And yeah, I think by the time he got the move, he was already like 18, but when he was like 15 or 16, my grandma was working at a restaurant or something and he just put like, nah, he shouldn't work anymore. Yeah, damn. 15, 16. Making fucking moves.

That's all right. I can't even do that now when I'm putting it in 40. Jesus Christ. Even if I could, I would never. You could come stay with me to get on your feet. But that's not it. I would charge you rent. Damn.

And you're still living with your grandma now? No, actually, I live with my dad now. For the first time ever, I've been living with my dad. I've been there like a year now. Okay. We moved out to this little, while my dad always, he lived out there for way longer than I did, but we moved out to a little land, like a hours out the Dallas. Damn, so you're out there. I'm in the country. I saw I got this

bass pro shop shirt. I still haven't got fishing, but I'm going to give you some beans. I'll be out there. Like some of the gear. What's your pop do now? Uh, now? He like remodels houses and does a lot of construction type work for contractor type jobs. Gotcha. Okay. So growing up at your grandmoms, what was school like? Oh, easy. I was very spoiled too.

Really? Yeah, my grandma, she had like free time and she like spoiled me. I remember when like Spider-Man 2 or 3 came out, I convinced her to like take me out of school early, so I could go watch it during the day. Yeah, my grandma was the best and school was pretty easy. I used to think, I mean, I still kind of do think that I was very lucky to go to like a pretty diverse school.

I feel like we had a little bit of everybody. But then I came to like York and this is real diversity. Yeah, this is it. My school is just like Black, White, Mexican. Like here is like you go Slavian. Yeah, there's little flavor from everywhere. Yeah. Shoot, it's Slavian.

I never met no human Slavian. Okay, and what was the high school mascot growing up? Well, Stallion. That's pretty good. That's a real Texas fucking. Okay, and what was the high school mascot growing up? Stallion. That's pretty good. That's a real Texas fucking good football team. No, really. We had the out of all the Mesquite high schools. I think we had the coolest like mascot like where's the stallions. The other ones were like the pirates. The Mesquite skaters.

And it was just like a really angry, scrawny Mesquito. It was like, that's, yeah. I don't remember what the other one was, but that was like about it. The Mesquite lantern flies. It's coming in the town. The larvae.

But yeah, we had the stallions and we were so sorry. And how'd you do in school? I was pretty good. I was, I'll be honest, I was really lazy. Okay. I did enough to like get by. If I worked pretty hard and I tried, I could get like some straight A's.

Would your grandma stay on top of you with your, your schooling and stuff like that? Was she tough for the un-at? Nah, nah. She was pretty chill. Yeah, she would, she would, she, I don't even think she knew what my grades were. She knew that we're good. And she knew what my grades were. She knew they were good

And she knew enough to go back to the other grandma's like oh, no, it's so smart, you know But I did all right where you getting in trouble at all and he I got into little trouble here and there I Would do some something like crazy Every now and then nothing too bad. And I just hope that I would never get caught, you know, at one time we broke into a house. That was pretty, that got pretty, that got pretty, we robbed the bank. That was probably the worst thing I ever did. It got pretty scary, because we heard people like arriving while we were in there.

We didn't steal anything. It's Christ. We, we, the mouse sold, it was just so dumb. We were like 13 or 14 and we broke into one of my neighbors' house who like lives on my blog. And because we thought that their older sister had like weed or something. I don't know why.

I used to, I didn't know how much weed went for us to think. Maybe if I just had a handful of it, I could get rich off of it. Like, I just got done handful of it I could get rich off of it like I Had just got done watching that movie blow. Yeah, I got a dime bag so for 14 grand Yeah, so we got into my neighbor's house and I was looking for it and one of my buddies It was like four of us five of us and one of my buddies was like Ralph He's like come to the kitchen. I went over there and like I said, we weren't like poor, but I don't know.

We just never, I guess picked up these kind of snacks. I had Nutella. I had never seen Nutella. That's what we've been talking about Nutella every episode. Yeah. Yeah. So, all right. So the 13, you forget about the, we picked in the tele.

We're all going to be rich. So we're just like hanging out in the kitchen, like eating these Nutella snack packs. You just want to snack packs. Just like having a childhood, you know? Yeah, just hanging. And then we started opening up their crisis presents. Yeah.

We heard the door, they had like a deadlock. Mm-hmm. And we had already locked that deadlock just in case somebody got home and smart. And we heard them coming in, and so we just ran, and we went to my other neighbor's house who lived across the street from that house, and just stayed there all day, scared to come out,

just watching the house to see if cops were gonna show up, and they never called the cops. And you knew the family, and they knew you, and stuff like that, right? No, no, no, no, we knew like the, like the, yeah, like the kids, I guess. And even then we kind of knew them. We were like kind of mean to them. Even if they would have made that 911 call,

like what was taken from the house? Well, a bunch of rich crackers were gone. Some snack packs, the tele. They just got red coins broken. They took all the Capri Suns. Damn, that's fucking funny. All right, what you do, how'd you do on the SATs? Take the SATs?

I don't think I took those, and if I did, not very well. Did you go to college at all? I went to community college for a... I went to community college, and then I went to like trade school. Okay. Yeah, I got, I'm a certified painter. All right. Yeah, I got I'm a certified painter. All right. Yeah, paint go paint cars. And I'm also a licensed barber, which actually both of

those certificates are expired by now, but but I got them. That's pretty sweet. Yeah. That's all right. Expired barber. Any vacations growing up? Would you guys go anywhere? Yeah, we I mean who was the nook like who was around When you were a kid it was you and your grandmother My uncle was around I assume yeah my my older cousin Carlos. He's like two years older than me Okay, very overprotective, but also the guy who'd kick my ass all the time. Yeah, okay Okay, anybody kicks your ass is gonna be me I was very close with my buddies growing up buddy Jaime

We used to call him Jaime and then in turn we call him Hyny He's actually like the guy who takes pictures and videos of like the tour stuff We do nice. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, his family was around my buddy Tony buddy Daniel Mark It's like everybody who lived on that block. We're very close When we go to, I guess, technically vacation, we're going to attend the very touristy destination spots, but we're going to visit family in Mexico every year. And so my grandma would get all my cousins together,

so we drive to every city that we had relatives in. And then by the end of the trip, we had five of my cousins with me. And- Just picking up people all the way My grandma had a house in Mexico, but she still does I think and yeah We spend most of the summer there and it was awesome. She take us to the beach the movies She had this pickup truck and in one of the cities we'd go to there was a lot of like prostitution and a lot of those I don't know if they have them up here. They got them in Texas too. They're like these drives. Yeah, we got them.

Yeah. They got these drive-through liquor stores where women in bikinis come and sell you the liquor. That's all right. And they got a lot of those in the city where it goes to a lot of prostitutes. And sometimes after the movies, my grandma would get us all in the back of the picket truck.

Because in Mexico, they don't care if you ride in like, sure, yeah. Where at the cargo and we just drive around and she ride in like, sure, yeah. Like the cargo. And we just drive around and she let us like, yeah, that prostitute. We just yell like, yeah, my man like call me like. Like,

I'm like, I'm in boys, we're gonna talk shit. Yeah, we're like, what's up, baby? Like ladies are just like, what's the, I'm like, I'm gonna just drive off. Bunch of kids eating the tele and the back of a truck. So you had your passport, young. Well, you didn't need a passport back then.

Really? Yeah, I don't remember when that came into being. If you're under 18, I think, or 16, I don't think you need one even now. Do you have your passport now? Now I do, yeah. I'm into Canada. That's why I got it.

For comedy, yeah. So, okay, huh. And what age did you get it very recently? Yeah, I just got for like for comedy. Yeah. So okay. Huh. And what age did you get it very recently? Yeah. I just got it like this year. In fact, when we booked the Canada gig, there was like a couple months. I like I found out that it was a couple months, you know, coming up order and then I went and like expedited the whole nice for thing.

Yeah. Canada's pretty cool. You know, it's like Mexico, but with the white people instead of Mexicans They're on the back of pickup truck. You'll have fucking hookers Call me eight Yeah, but talk about beam. I'm beaming, baby gang if you're having trouble falling asleep quit counting sheep and get over to beam It's a hot chocolate that knocks you the fuck out. Let's go wake up like D. Bo over to beam. It's a hot chocolate that knocks you the fuck out. Let's go.

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Great beans, you know. What'd you guys do like dinner on Sunday? Was that like a routine? Was there any type of... No. Schedule like that? The only time we had like some sort of dinner schedule was when my grandpa's still living with us.

He worked like in construction type. He did like a lot of sheet rock. Mm-hmm. He'd get home like at the same time every day, and so she'd have like dinner ready and we'd eat in the kitchen We had this tiny little television with like the little VHS port thing. Okay top of the fridge And we just like watch TV like have dinner watch TV. Yeah, see a debut or like tell him one door something You know, did you have a TV in your room? Mm-hmm. That same TV, we had like another version of that one. Yeah, okay.

Hey, hey, hey. I love TV, TV was my best friend. Yeah. What was your favorite show growing up? Uh, man, I had a few. I loved watching movies. Like I'd always catch movies like on like TNT or TBS or whatever. Yeah, I was like cable, HBO, all that stuff, the whole deal.

No, no, had like like 99 channels. Okay. So I watch like movies on like VH1, CMT. Sure. I was watching like Road House, you know. Yeah, shout out to Road, the double dudes. Yeah, shout out to CMT, man. They'll put a double banger on everyone's.

Yeah, yeah, watching like my cousin Vinnie, risky business. That's awesome. Watching like Spike TV a lot. Watch this, the slam ball championships. Will you bring in your lunch to school or do you buy it at school? Nah, we have free lunch. That's all right.

We lived like, we were living like a really easy luxurious lifestyle, but as far as the school knew, my mom made minimum weights. That's all right. Got to cook the books. I was in with you. I was the only, I was the only kid in school but as far as the school knew, my mom made minimum wage. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha How do you drink milk with dinner growing up? With dinner. Yeah. No. No. Favorite cereal as a kid? Probably tricks.

Tricks of a kid. Will you like to have sugar cereal whenever you want it? Yeah. Actually, it was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at a young age. Yeah. So yeah, it was like too much cereal. Yeah.

Yeah, a little too much cereal there. Jesus. Huh. What was the family car growing up? I feel like you just marked off the question of like, are you diabetic? Because you have all your toes. Family car, whatever my uncle

wasn't driving anymore. Like he just got past it to your grandparents. Yeah, your uncle sounds alright. We had like a blue escalator, black BMW, this is a blue escalator. That screams drug deal. We had like a, we had like a blue escalator, black BMW, that's right. Blue escalator, that screams drug deal. We had like a Mustang.

Damn. Yeah. You're crazy, Mom, driving into the Mustang. Yeah. Dropping you off at school, it's got Lamborghini doors on it. You're going to get free lunch.

My grandpa, he always had like his work truck and then he always had like his, like going out truck. And so always had like his like going out truck and So at first it was like this. Oh for Navy blue Chevy Silverado and and it's like nobody touch it Nobody drives it for me. I always kept it under tarp and then it became later on he got this red 2012 Chevy Silverado. And yeah, like nobody could ever touch it.

Like, that was his baby. But the whole time, we were like, bro, nobody wants to touch it. We're literally driving my uncle's Corvette right now. Yeah, you're in an escalator. I'm like, what's Goddavis Silverado? How many cars were under a tarp in the driveway? Just the one? No, no, no.

So yeah, the only one that'd be in the tarp was the one that was in the garage, was usually just my grandpa's truck. Okay. All right, so in the garage, you guys have a fridge in there, refrigerator? No. No.

No garage fridge? No. I wish. You know what we did end up having later was a garage freezer. I didn't understand the point of it. What was in there? This is like extra fish and chicken and stuff like that.

Okay. My grandma would buy so much fish and chicken, you think we'd have like a family of 10. This is so wasteful. Well, you're freezing it. You're saving it for later. Well, you're a crystal light family growing up? Crystal light.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. See, it's sometimes not even crystal light. Do they have great value over here? No, store brand? Yeah, great value.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's the great value. I think it's a great value. No, no, no, great value. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. It is not a great value, but... Any injuries as a kid, do you break anything? Oh, yeah, yeah.

The first major one, someone major, I didn't break anything on this one, but it did tear off a ton of scale. I got a huge scar on my left thigh. My grandpa bought like this mini, little dirt bike thing. Had a lot of power and I tried to ride it when I was like nine, it was fucking crash nasty. I did the same thing, same age, yeah.

Sweet hell yeah. Other than that, I broke my hand, play fighting with my friends. I think it's called like a boxers break. We're like the pinky knuckle breaks off. Yeah. Yeah. So dirt bikes, you'd say the little mini dirt bike, couple of crazy cars, anything like that in the ATVs and jet skis floating around the house.

Maunko would like, I don't think he ever owned them, but every now and then they took us to the lake and they have like a jet ski like they'd random and stuff Okay, but I don't think he ever owned one. We didn't live near enough water. Gotcha. What was what was the bike growing up? The bike like the bicycle. Yeah, man, they get stolen all the time It's probably your uncle Now it's just whatever they take me like a Walmart or toyser is like a bike Yeah, okay, rode with the bike with crew. Yeah, you ever have a power wheels when you were a kid Like those little electric cars. Yeah

I see you have one of those if I did I probably wasn't like big enough to remember but I bet I did okay Yeah, I bet I bet my child was, even the parts I can't remember. They keep the butter on the counter, your grandma's house, through in the refrigerator. Frigirator. Frigirator? Catch up, keep that in the fridge, you're out. Well, it depends who had it last.

Well, you like to eat in your room? Hell yeah. Yeah, it's probably most of my meals. Sounds pretty lack, something. Yeah, I like it, sorry most of my meals Sounds pretty lax. Yeah I like it any sports growing up I Didn't I never played for a team. I was like two nervous to like try out or go to practice But I love playing basketball. We played basketball like every day after school

But yeah, I went to I went to my middle school basketball trials and I tried to like push the gym door open. There were so many kids in there that were all like, like whoever was in on the court doing their trial time where it was like leaning against the wall on the doors. I want to try to open it. This big kid kind of like, he didn't even look back. He just like leaned back on the door to like reclose it.

And I was just like, all right, that's all right. I don't have to try out. It's enough of that. Any jobs as a kid. Yeah, I got my first job when I was like, all right, that's all right. I don't have to try out to do that. Any jobs as a kid? I got my first job when I was 12. It was a dishwasher at a Mexican seafood restaurant. All right. Yeah, one of my neighbors owned it.

By this time, there's a lot more hispatics on the block because I was 12, you know? And I did that. I would go work from my dad at his body shop which where I got into like painting cars and stuff. Like sand cars. It was a dishwasher at another restaurant from time to time. I also did like, my dad had another business

where we would go like paint apartments like on the inside. Stuff like that. Okay. Good work, I think. Yeah. Started working at 12. What was your last job before you started popping off in comedy? I was a barber.

Barber, right? Yeah. Huh, would you work in a barber shop or you just do it like on the side? Yeah, so at first I was only doing it out of my room and my grandma's and I had no plans on going to a shop or even getting a license like I was doing open mics every night and I was making like two, three hundred bucks a week couldn't hair at home. Who's hair were you cutting just your boys? Yeah people from the neighborhood or whatever. And uh, grandmums. Eventually, uh, what my ex-girlfriend came out

pregnant. It was like right when we broke up. So I was like, I better, you know, get it together here. So, uh, um, I think by that time I was going like on and off to Barbara college. I went to this very ghetto Barbara college was like on and off to Barbara college. Yeah, it was like if you if you paid this month, you could go. But if you did it, like you couldn't. What was the name of it? It's called soul Barbara Academy. Bar Academy. That's awesome. But yeah, we basically selling you live there Yes, I'm at the academy. I had a dorm now, but I went so

The down the street from the body shop that my dad had there was his barber shop would go get our haircuts in a neighborhood called Oak Cliff and I ended up I'd always go get my hair cuz they even even when I wouldn't be with my dad So later on once I was you know to be licensed, that place gave me like a chair and like an official job or whatever. What is that process, by the way? How does that work? Do you have paid the pay to rent the chair? Yeah, every shop's different. Some of them do like commission where you got to give them like so many bugs out of every haircut. But that place was booth rent. So every week I just paid 175 bucks a week to think that. I don't think, right?

I mean, how many? Yeah, that's all right. As long as you're like, stay busy, that's like nothing, you know? Did you have a good roster? Like people coming in? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, since I had, I started cutting hair when I was 13. So I had a long time to build clients.

Kids are fucking work, you got me. You still got good clippers and shit like that? Yeah, hell yeah. Have you ever fucked someone's mind? Yeah, I was like, oh, so many times. When I started cutting hair, it was before YouTube tutorials were like a thing. Just winging it?

Yeah, I just had to like ask the barbers at the shop, like, hey, how do I do? Like, this isn't that, and they try to memorize things they said. But by the time I'm there, like, I don't know what I'm doing. I just, I don't try and shit. Eventually, I got the hang of it, you know? Holy shi-how bad did you fuck up somebody's hair?

Oh bad, man. Because my friends got like fades, you know? They'd get like a ball fade, where you know, you balled out the bottom and just faded into the top. Uh-huh. But to start that, you got to create, what we call it like a chili bowl. Okay.

Where you do just one hard line and then I don't know why he does it. That's crazy. I love you, but you're not. He had to do it for a movie. He likes it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what it was. Yeah, more power to you, but I see that I just want to fade it so bad. I get over it. Yeah. So that's like step one of a haircut. Right. Is that? And then blend that in. Yeah.

So where would the trouble come and blend it in? Yeah. I used to just sit there and try things. I'm like, maybe it's not bald enough on the bottle. It just make like a harder line. Have you ever get your request for any like for like stars shaved in or like a yeah Can you do any that shit man? I could do like minor stuff. I never really wanted to I did want to get into it for a while But then it would take up time and I was like imagine want to get on to the next cut already

Yeah, it's not worth it. I'm too slow at it to really make it profitable Yeah, I could charge like an extra five ten bucks But then my next guy who's waiting is like bro, I gotta go to somebody else like this. Sure. Any lines in the eyebrows when you were a kid? No. Any piercings? Yeah, but they were always closed on me. I kept forgetting that I had pierced my ears. So I'd have to like pierce them like a few months later again. I pierced my ears like four times.

later again, I pierced my ears like four times. Jesus Christ. What, uh, how old, what was the young, what age did you start in tattoos? Uh, mouths already like, I don't know, 21. Okay. Yeah. It's pretty good. I made bad.

And what was the first tattoo? Uh, there's crusty, the clown tattoo. Okay. There we go. Now what we were looking for here. Yeah, it's all right. All right. You said you went to community college for a minute.

Yeah. What was the major? Theater. Okay. All right. So then you kind of started to realize that you wanted to be an entertainer. Yeah. I actually did that before getting like the pain certificate or anything like that.

I wanted to be a comedic actor. I always wanted to be a comedian, but I thought I could be like a funny movie just something, you know, big like Adam Sandler, Wolf Arrow fan. And I had seen online that Adam Sandler went to NYU for acting. And I'm like, well, here's maybe that's like a start, you know.

Smart, yeah. I couldn't really get into NYU, but Richland Community College, home of the ducks. I don't know what the mascot is. He got there Bradley Cooper down there. You didn't know what to do. But yeah, I went, but I didn't really do so well. My acting teacher one day was like,

how are you doing this? Damn. Now, it wasn't like, it wasn't like super mean about it. He was just kind of like trying to get to know me more, but I think it was obvious that I wasn't really like, doing as good as the other students. And I told him that I wanted to, you know, be a comedian, like, be funny movies and whatever.

And he was like, well, that's cool. He's like, you know, just keep working at it. But he's like, you should also chase like different avenues of comedy, do all the angles or whatever. And he told me about like open mics I could do locally. There you go. Yeah, and I just, I fell in love with open mics

and I didn't even go back to like the acting class. I did the other stuff to like keep a day job or whatever but the whole time I was doing mics. Yeah. But then you said you your girlfriend got pregnant. Yeah, we had like just split up and maybe we had been split up for like three, four weeks and she was going to take a trip to Mexico. I was actually trying to like get back with her and she had a trip. She was going to leave to Mexico for like a month to visit like her dad or her dad's land or something. And I was like, before you go,

like you should take a pregnancy test. What if you're pregnant? And she was like, that's dumb. And like two hours later, she called me crying. She's like, I'm pregnant. No shit. Yeah. I was like, yeah, that's what you get.

And I was like, fuck, that's what I get. That's it. Talk about the ultimate backfire. Uh, I was like, she got a kid That's what I get. That's it. Talk about the ultimate backfire. Uh, so you got a kid. Yeah, he's four now. Nice. And where's he at? He splits up time with his mom and me.

Nice. I'm usually home. I'm usually back in Texas like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Sometimes all the way to Thursday. Okay. And so he's with me those days from like Sunday night till like Thursday morning. Great.

Take him to pre-K and all that nice The rest of the weekend. Hope you would just mom. All right. There you go. Did he ask you What are you whipping around then in Texas? We driving cool Escalade now right now. I actually driving a 2018 Infinity okay, okay, yeah, and then I'm starting this has actually been draining my way I probably shouldn't spend it this fast, but I like this. I started a Chevy collection. So I just bought an 87 Monte Carlo luxury sports Here we go. I bought a 95 single cab Silverado Z71

Which are kind of hard to find sure I think your dad's house Couple of them are the other one I have is a 2000 original miles like in great condition looks like it just came out the factory 1996 Chevy and Paula Super Sport Dude you are you are so Texas man No, no guys like I'm gonna get one car. You're like I'm getting nine Chevy's. Yeah Here's my bun B tattoo Money is a guess is what we're talking about mind you mind you I don't plan on leaving my dad

Take the car out if you want some a weekend. You might be the only dude who has a car collection and lives with his dad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right.

So on that same tip, I don't know if there's other stuff, but when the tour started going, things started popping, were there any other silly purchases that you made? It's a bunch of sneakers. A bunch of sneakers. Yeah. Now, now. Do you remember what the first big check was where you were like, oh, fuck. Yeah.

The first big check, like the biggest check, I, this was the biggest check I had at the time, was December of last year, doing San Diego Lafactory. And I remember just getting so cocky December of last year, doing San Diego Lafactory. And I remember just getting so cocky before I even got the check. I knew how much it was gonna be.

You know what I like? I just put six cars. No, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had no cars, I was still driving around like this. Peed up, shitty ass Honda. Bad, bad car was probably gonna kill me on the road one day. All right.

And we're in San Diego, me and my two buddies that that tool with me. And once I find out what the check is gonna be, we're just we're just going to restaurants and stores and I'm like, get whatever you guys want man. This fucking check is gonna be amazing. Like you guys want shoes on me, fuck it. It's fucking all this shit. It's like eating the bass Orson the boys down like eat his steaks and shit, but the checks not cash

What are you putting this on a credit card? No, no, so I had a little bit of money from like the previous gigs Not not what this check was gonna be, but just a little change in my pocket, you know, but My pockets are getting pretty close to empty by Sunday My pockets are getting pretty close to empty by Sunday. Javier, blow you a blow your old. You know, we're all in a week. I didn't take it over time and we're in a week. Did the boys take you up on the sneakers? One of them did, yeah.

One of them didn't let me buy them sneakers until like, wait later. He's waiting for the good pay. I know you're gonna be like, one did. He's no longer to work with. But anyway, by the time, by the time the week is done, I'm like waiting for, I'm used to like the clubs now somebody comes to get you and they're like,

hey, you ready? Yeah, handle up for whatever. And they were just like, oh no, no, we know you were Czech. Like, oh, I was like, oh shit. I was like, why didn't I think this? You better mail in here, pussy, because I'm fucking waiting. What post office is dropped that bad?

I'm gonna go pick it up. You know how embarrassing it was, man? I had already been, everyone's decked out, sneakers, jewelry, Chris Ruth bags and shit. I went back to my friends, like, hey, take those shoes off right now. No, I was such a dumbass move because this is now like the, you know, for two and a half months,

I've been doing pretty well for myself, you know, I'm making decent checks or whatever. Excuse me. And now, I'm going back home like, yo, dad, you're gonna hold the cup 100 bucks like. Yeah. Hey, young kid on the come up, what are you gonna do? I think the mail comes to you, hey young kid on the comma, what are you gonna do?

The mail come to you, yeah. That's awesome. That check came in like a week and a half later. I had to pay back so many people. That's the worst, dude, when you've mismanaged your money and you're like, oh, I got this check coming, you start borrowing and then that check comes and you're like, I gotta turn them on

and give this all red back to people. I learned my lesson. Yeah. Do you like to go out to have a nice dinner? Every now and then, but honestly, man, I'm just like junk food. I love howings, tacos, burgers. Okay.

Where are you going when you were out in San Diego? Have you had anything since things have started to work out? Have you had anything that you'd never had before that you tried? Nah, I stick to the same stuff. I mean when I do go for something more expensive It'll probably be like seafood also I love steaks. Okay. I'm an expensive steak and when I was in Diego We walked to this basketball court. That was like just not too far away and we're walking back to the to the hotel or whatever We there's like a bunch of restaurants,

it's just like nice Italian looking restaurant, but we were like in sweats and t-shirts or whatever, and I stopped to look at the menu that's outside the restaurant and I told the late, the receptionist lady where I was like, can you give us this, the hostess of the presentation? What are they calling that? So the secretary, I'm a little hungry,

I knew my boys might be looking to eat. Oh man, this kid's all right. Hold my calls, give me a Caesar. I was like, can we get a table for three? She was like, yeah, yeah. She didn't even sit as inside, which was like, I was coming down with a case of like little man syndrome. Sure. I started getting offended.

She sat us outside in the patio, even though the inside was like totally open. There was a fancy in there. And then she didn't give us the menus. She gave us the menus for the specials. And even before she sat us, she was like, well, lots of specials. I was like, yeah, I didn't ask about specials. So when she brought us the menu for the specials, I was like, this, lots of specials. I was like, yeah, I didn't ask about specials. So when she brought us the many specials, I was like, son of a bitch.

So I was like, order like everything. Yeah, I'm going to show her what's up, you know? And she had no idea like that we even ordered. She just went back to the little hostess. Hostess, then. Hostess headquarters. I just went back to the corporate? I got a check coming in about two weeks ago.

You're a sore. Set me on a patio. Yeah, we just had like steak, the fillingly y'all. How do you get your steak cooked? Medium. All right, gentlemen. I respect it. Do me a favor, send a bottle of champagne to that secretary.

I'm gonna go collect some data. Okay, do you drink? Okay, generally. Yeah, well, what do you what kind of drink we have after you know, when you're a dinner or relaxant or whatever. I love beer. Okay. I love beer. If I'm not drinking beer, I'll probably just drink whiskey. I like whiskey. Okay. Yeah. All right. What do you guys like drinking?

Beer thing. Yeah. Beer. Beer whiskey. Yeah. Too much. At the house at your dad's, did you have you hooked it up with anything? Like do you have a crazy TV in your room?

Oh, yeah, I got a great TV. I love TV. Like I said, I love TV, man. I bought it to see what is room. I bought a TV before I bought better clothes. Did you get a TV for the living room too? No, my dad's job. I blocked off TV.

You can't be making the kind of money. You're making a roll. Buy your own only yourself at TV. To the house stinks your bedroom rules. That's own only yourself at David. To the house stinks, your bedroom rules. Yeah, that's a hot tub in there. To be fair, like coming to America when they reach a redo the one apartment. Nah, to be fair, my dad, he makes really good money.

Okay, I gotcha. So that land that we live on, he bought a trailer home and that land when he was like 20. Okay. And we used to go and just stay there in the trailer home when I go to stay a weekend and stuff. But about, I say about a year ago now, we, he finished building like a pretty big house on that property,

which is the house we live in now. So he had that house like ready to go before I really, like right before I think to really start taking off for me. So like there was no need for me to like hook anything up. So you got the land, you got the cars out there, you got the house pool pool to house. No pool. We have a pond, but don't go in there. It's pretty dirty. It's giving us the warning. Don't go in there. We should ever down there in my dad. We like shooting to the

pond sometimes. Okay. Like for the July and stuff. Nice. What kind of guns you got on the property? We got an AK-47. Okay. That's worth, I mean, for the guys who live in New York City. That's a... That's crazy. Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

Also, don't give me... I don't want people thinking I'm like some super like... Don't take my guns. Sure. I don't know. You can have them if you want. I'm not that attached to him. Yeah. But I just do think it's kind of like they're so easy to get down there like how are you not gonna? You know shoot into the pond every now and then sure get your gun?

I just what the fuck that sex is fishing baby. Yeah Who's going to the grocery store down there you doing the grocery shopping usually my stepmom? Okay? Sometimes I'll go just when it went like So she's shopping? Usually my stepmom. Okay. Sometimes I'll go, just when like, maybe like on a Monday or a Sunday afternoon, I'll take my son and we'll get like whatever he's gonna want for lunch. I gotta like pack him his lunch and stuff.

There's a spoiled kid, man. He wants me to make him lunch. I don't know, I tell him all the time. I'm like, I can make you sandwiches or send you with a lunchable. And he's just like, do that. He's just, he's putting me to work. So I'll go buy like snacks he likes or snacks that I like and like do that. He's just, he's putting me to work. So I'll go buy snacks he likes or snacks that I like

and stuff like that. What are the boys like down there? What do you dip it into? Because you're young, he's young. Yeah, I'm sure you still have a taste for the snacks. I love what are the like the Uts, the cheese balls? Oh man. That's great, my son loves their.

Yeah, get that barrel. We'll get some of those, maybe like, I like hot chips, like hot funnily and hot cheetos, this is great. My son loves her. Yeah, get that barrel. Look at some of those, maybe like, I like hot chips, like hot funnily and hot cheetos, stuff like that. To see you dad, do you send him a school with that? Nah, he doesn't like spicy stuff. And what lunchables do you get him? What does he like?

He likes the ham and cheese. He loves cheese, like a lot. What about the cold pizza? You guys mess with the cold pizza at all? Man, he wants that one, but I don't feel good.'m taking that one. I'm like like we got a draw line somewhere Cool All right All right, couple argue garbage questions here. Yeah, wait now they begin

We're just trying to get read on you. You know how garbagey I feel already. It's not great. You're down in the count. Oh man. What's the bad in your room? King, queen, queen. Queen, you got a queen. And you got a TV in there.

Got a TV, yeah. And do you eat in your room now? No head board is just like a small wooden platform. Okay. It. Okay holds the bed pushed into the corner of the room. No, it's in the middle of the wall. Yeah, come on. Got some glad. Just check it. Have you ever used ax body spray? When I was when I like 13. Okay. Yeah. You peeing in the shower? Yeah, for the time of time if I feel it. Okay, yeah.

Not gonna like set a rule for myself. Like, you got an OP or I am definitely a peer. Just, I'll play it by your baby. Do your brush your teeth in there. Not in the shower. Not in the shower. No, all right. I would if I could remember to take the toothbrush,

but. And who's cutting the hair now? Where do you get your haircut? I still go to the same barber shop, Oak Cliff Barbers. That you used to work at? Mm-hmm. Nice. All right. Mm-hmm.

There you go. How many pillows you sleep with? You know, it's crazy. I just bought two, but sometimes while I'm gone, my younger sister or my stepmom, when they do these clean the whole house days and they clean up my room, and then they leave more pillows. Okay. Sure. So sometimes I have two, sometimes it's like six. It just depends.

Man, this setup sounds awesome. Yeah. What's on the walls in the bedroom now? Any posters, good fellows, sopranos, scar face? You know, it was crazy. I had an apartment for a little while and I and even growing up in my bedroom my my uncle Huge sopranos fans sure and he had a had a really really good friend Who gifted him when I was like? Maybe ten or 11. I don't know. I have he has a friend that gifted him a Big sopranos poster signed by the whole cast. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's like this whole certificate and shit.

And, uh, Maunco lived for a, Maunco had like, nice house. Yeah. Like I said, that was, was doing good. Something happened along the way that for some reason for, for like, not even a whole year, he came to live with me and my grandma. And I remember he just like, it was my mom's old bedroom. He just like, man, made it look so nice. He had, before he moved in,

it looked like, he had like a construction crew in there just like, replaced the floors with like nice, hardwood floors and like, wait, really? That's, I swear to God. It's the state temporarily. Guys, we're doing a floors? Yeah, like the room was so luxurious.

And he had that poster in there, and he had like nice furniture, like, and when he left, remember he told me he's like, whatever I leave in that room, you can have, and he's like, you can keep that room. So I had, I now had like the nicest room in the house.

You're ripping up the hardwood floors. You're gonna be in your room? And he left that poster in there. So I'd take that poster with me, like anytime I had had an apartment thing. I didn't take it to my dad's though, because my uncle and my dad don't like each other. So I felt like my uncle would probably give him a edifice.

He was hanging up in his house. Yeah, because the friend that gave it to a May Rest of Peace no longer with us. So now he's just like, don't ever give it to that poster. Don't like, don't let that happen to that poster. Yeah. So it's just there at my grandma's. Now in my room room I got like

a couple funco pops. The little bubble-hitting things. I do have a little frame of like the album cover and the CD of a chief key CD. Okay. Other than that, nothing really. I keep them pretty plain. Pretty plain, okay. Dude, a sign's a prano. Yeah, man, that's all right. The whole cast is the Holy Grail to a dirt bag. I would kill for that. I think, yeah, I think it's sweet.

Do you like mayonnaise? I love mayonnaise. Do you use helmins or do you use miracle whip? Helmins, mayonnaise. Gentlemen. All right. When you get the chicken wings wings you get them well done Now I just get them how they come but I do get all flats you do yeah, all right

Gotta give that all flats. How do you eat your flat? I don't know like my mouth my hand I'm gonna say do you who the fuck's this guy? No, no, because you can you can just eat it straight or do you pull one of the bones out? No, I'll no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, too small to give it that crab leg treatment. That's just... I do love crab legs though. Yeah. Feel like oysters? Man, I used to love them, but one day, like 14 of them, and then I got sick. Because it was like 14, but like, how old were you? Man, this is like earlier this year, but like every two oysters would be like a different type of oyster. Yeah, and I think that's where I fucked up.

Sure. Crossbreeding number with it. I'm just freaking jammed up with some food boys thing. Yeah, oysters will open you up. Have you done any nice dinner since you've been in New York? Um, when I first met my agent of my manager, we went to like a pretty nice restaurant or whatever. Now, now I feel like they know me better. Now I would just get like a burger. Yeah. How do you get your burger cooked?

I don't need them. Do you, when you're eating the burger, do you put it back down upside down or do you keep it flat? You know, I keep it upside down. Why did you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, Dude, that question is that. That's crazy though, because I've never thought anybody would ask me about that.

I just noticed that I started doing that too. It's the classiest way of it. The gentleman's move. Do you cut the burger in half or do you keep it whole? Nah, I keep it whole. Okay, I'm still a man. I'm gonna sit here, my new friend Ralph like that. What's the problem?

All right, we got you on the turn it upside down. That's pretty classy. In the past 365 days have you been to a hookah bar? Nah. Okay. I've had a hot pocket in the past 365 days have you been to a hukabar? Nah. Okay. Have you had a hot pocket in the last 365 days? Hell yeah. Okay.

How do you feel about the rotisserie chicken? Food is food, I like it. Okay. Flying up front, most of the time. Yeah. But I still only fly like southwest. Okay. Yeah, yeah, flying out of Texas, it makes sense.

Yeah, when you buzz the attendant, nah, never. Nah, I use shoes off when you get on the plane. Yeah, you will. Yeah. What about putting a seat back where you dropped a seat back? A bit. Okay, I didn't touch a summit. Yeah, I didn't use to do none of that stuff,

but after like the 50th flight, you're like, You get a little use, you say. You're like, dude, fuck off, I'll take it off my fucking shoes, dude. I got it. All right, there you go. Hotels.

They don't gotta be like super great. Honestly, I love a luxurious hotel, but I do get mad that they only have, like the more luxurious they get, the harder it is to find an iron. Okay, yeah. They just wanna give you like a steamer. Just fucking steamer suck.

Do you know how to iron? You know how to iron? Iron pretty good. Really? Iron good enough for me. That's pretty good. Do you own any suits? I own two suits now.

Okay. Do you own a suit? Actually, I accidentally peed on one. So now I just, just out of the suit in the half. I'm soo-tent. This is really drunk trying to take off my clothes and pee at the same time. Wait, you just get a dry clean. You don't have to throw it out.

I just want to touch the the pee shirt. Really? The pee shirt. What are the suits? What are the brands? Hugo Boss. Really? There you go.

Ralph? Couple of huges. What was the reason for buying them? The first suit was because I was my first tonight show appearance. And I had always had that goal in my mind. I was like, I'm gonna go on there and I'm gonna wear a suit. So my uncle, like, uh, drug dealers,

eventually ended up going to prison. Okay. And I remember, uh, he was like, you know, going through like trial or whatever, and on his final court date, he wore this gray suit with a purple burberry tie damn and I don't know I just thought you know, it sucks to see your family go of course And I at that moment I was just thinking about like all the good he had done for a lot of my relatives like he took You know my grandma out of a bad neighborhood. He retired here

He had helped out tons of our family in Mexico. Make sure that a roof over the head. Sure. He did so much. And then now he's going to pay for all the bad things he did. So when I started doing comedy, I would remember that suit. And I always wanted to do the tonight show. So I was like, when I go on the tonight show, I want to wear that suit as like a, I don't know, like on the tonight show, I want to wear that suit as like a I don't know. Yeah, like pass the torch, but I can a good way now like I want my uncle to know like I will look out for our family now But did you wear that exact suit like his suit? Yeah, but I wore sneakers with mine, but not his exact suit

I just got it. I just got it. I wore his tie. He did let me have that tie Get the fuck out of here. That's fucking awesome man. That's fucking awesome dude Yeah, that's in the tour that's fucking cool. I was like that tie does it die in core man That's gonna see one more day baby. Yeah How long is he in for? He's actually out now. No, yeah, there you go. Yeah, he's cool. He's like loving life. He loves freedom When he went in you hadn't't, you weren't popping. No, no, no, no, even when he got out.

But now he's got to be ecstatic. Oh, man. And he got to see you wear that tie on the tonight show. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's fucking sick. That's a really good story. That's all right. Huh? What you doing the order wise? What do you like old spice? Yeah? Yeah, as one girl was like you wear old Spice is link. What are you a kid like it smells good? You didn't even know yeah, what are you places not for kids? Yeah, I was like also you're banging me like who are you to judge? Yeah, you got to get your prior Extra you're fucking up. Where's the notes, buddy? Any clone.

Man, you know, it's crazy. He's like, I'll wear whatever clones, like wherever gifted to me. Sure. My younger sister, one day, bought me this like Mercedes Cologne. I don't even know Mercedes made Cologne. She got it, like, out of macy's or something.

Okay. And it smells so good. And at first, I just really like the smell. Walking around smelling like new car. And then eventually, you know, me and on the road here in there, I'd get lucky with the griller too. Sure. And they would always complement high smell. So after that, I was like, brought stick it to this. Yeah, that's the

Mercedes man. Yeah. That's all right. Man, I mean, what a tail. Yeah, I'm, I think we got enough dirt under the finger now, it's to render a decision. I mean, how do you get your eggs cooked? I usually do scramble, but sometimes I'll do like, over easy, over medium. You like eggs Benedict?

I've never tried them. Really? Yeah, honestly, I look at that and I'm like, the fuck is that for? Do yourself a favor. Try it. It's good. Yeah, yeah.

It's all right. That's funny, man. I don't like change. I'm just like, scramble my shit and take your paper straws with you. You never saved a crown royal bag? Nah. I've only had a bottle of crown royal once.

And I was like 21 or 22. My buddy worked at a very ghetto nightclub in Dallas. He was a photographer of the club. And for my birthday, he's like, oh, the one that I grew up watching dishes with at a family's restaurant, who's now the photographer for us. Dude, you got the fucking squad with you. Yeah, that's awesome.

That's fucking awesome. Yeah, man, he got us a section that this really get on nightclub and they gave us a bottle of crown rolloid. It's just like two guys hanging out, like chugging a bottle of crown rolloid. We ended up just sharing shots with whoever wanted a party, guys, girls, whatever.

Yeah, he's fucking for somebody to hang out with. Yeah, and a drink like half the bottle alone. I was hammered and I was so hung over the next day. It took me like a year to drink crown rollover again. And I can smell it a lot. So co I have that because I drank half a bottle when I was in like eighth grade. I found my smell, I want to fucking vomit.

Man. Huh, anyone in your family ever involved in a pyramid scheme? Yeah, I'm a grandma. No shit. Yeah, she would do like these like the you know when they sell like those vitamin It's the first yes, we have forgotten on the show Any time share pitches you ever go to a time share pitch nah have you ever waited to get someone's autograph? Nah, I Have you ever waited to get someone's autograph? Nah. I...

I don't know. Maybe... Like, I'm a fan of a lot of artist celebrities, whatever. Maybe because I never really run into a whole lot of them. And when I do run into people, I'm like a big fan of my main thing. It's like I never wanted to piss them off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I kind of just wanted to... I'd rather be like the fly on the wall.

Just start to kind of hear them talk with her. Sure. So when I met Bumbi, I was like, can I get a picture? Yeah, shout out to Bumbi. Yeah. Every dude from Texas loves Bumbi. Yeah.

What was your first concert? I've never been to a live concert. What? What? Never. Why? That never crossed? When I was in high school

My friends would start going or like not my friends my friends were as lame as I was But but he's buddies from high school when they will start going I never really would have like the money to go once I was like in high school. That's when like the dream was over for like my family People start getting locked up or whatever. So Also, I was I was getting older, people were expecting me to like provide for myself. But I wasn't making a whole lot of money, like I'd work on weekends and make some chump change and I just use it for food, maybe go into the movies

or something. I never would put in the effort to like finding out when an artist I like was coming and buying tickets to their concert. I also didn't want to like sit far. I was like, fuck off. I'm gonna go from. But by the time I was like 18, 19, I started going to open mics and like shows. That was all your time. Yeah, I was like, I'll go to concert one day, but yeah, I still haven't gone.

I have, I know what it's like though, I have seen life performances like when I was on Berks tour. Sure. Uh, Jelly Roll popped in and played a song. Yeah. So that was cool. And then when I did, uh, I did more amardant Houston. That's where I met bun. Tileve quality was also there.

So I got to watch bun B and Tileve quality, uh, perform. So that's a good go. Yeah. That was like six months ago, probably. Now I was just like a month ago. It's first concert 27. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. That's all right buddy. I fucking love you. Yeah, that was that was quite the fucking pale 100% Garb

You know your dad's how she got six cars got a call like we see it dude I get mad at my little brother when he touches the cars get mad at my little brother when he touches the cars. Don't even look at him. Gang ladies and gentlemen Mr. Ralph Barbosa has an amazing special out right now on Netflix called cowlbonga. He's on tour right now. Do yourself a favor. Check him out. Absolutely hysterical. Anything else you want the folks that didn't know? Follow me on Instagram. There you go. Ralph Barbosa. Or else. Kibbie what do you got for him?

Guys, we're all over the road. Tickets are moving quick. Show us your selling out. Get them by the last rUgarbars.com. Gang, we love you, and we'll see you next week. Peace.