Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ralph Barbosa Returns!

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Ralph Barbosa! We're talkin' mosh pits with That Mexican OT, high stake game's of HORSE, building compounds and more! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com Promo Code: garbage UnCommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/ayg Promo Code: AYG Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Promo Code: Garbage Ship Station: Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/GARBAGE Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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plan additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply, see me mobile for details. Now let's get to the show. Get to the show. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.

This is R U Garbage. Oh yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that to be classy. Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash. Basura.

I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She just stole the turkey. Okay. For Thanksgiving. Got a big one this year, Kippy. You're gonna love it. Good for her. Alright, fair enough. Fuck you. My co-host is coming at me from right next to me, Unamused this week. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international business man and my best pal in the whole wide world. He signs the checks, baby Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan. What up everybody? Thanks for tuning in as always is make sure you review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube Then obviously the greatest website of all time

WWW.patreon.com slash are you garbage go over there you get all that bonus content gang. Yes, sir. Luke wrote the turkey bit I just want to say that That's why it stinks son of a bitch Gang that's either here nor there because we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean, incredibly special guest back with us again today. He is a very funny, very successful standup comedian podcaster now and amateur race car driver.

He's got a brand new podcast, the Fat Fish podcast, which you got to go check out over there on YouTube, wherever you get your podcast. It's absolutely fantastic. Give it up for Mr. Ralph Barbosa. Everybody. What? You look like you're in disguise.

Something's that you look younger than you did last time you were here. Yeah. It's the glasses. It's the hair. Maybe. Yeah, I got a little Harry Potter action. Mexican Harry Potter. Yeah. What's that? What's with the shades? Maybe. Yeah, I got a little Harry Potter action. Mexican Harry Potter.

What's with the shades? My vision is bad. Did you wear contacts before? No, I've always needed glasses. Are you fucking kidding me? I just can afford them now. Are you nearsighted or farsighted? Can you see things far away? No, that's the one that I can't see things far away. How old are you? I'm 28. You've been riding like that for 20 you've been driving like that. Yeah no I have like I've always gotten my glasses but I'll have them for like two weeks and then I'll lose them but yeah

last time I was here I was promoting the Netflix special so once that check came in I bought like 10 pairs of glasses. I was going to say, isn't it annoying for you? Because when I don't know, Mike, I don't know how bad your vision is, but I got bad. I can't see shit. And when I don't have them in, it's like I'm in my own world. No, I mean, I see enough. I just got you.

Whatever I need to get by. Yeah, I mean, I'm not like picky. Sure. I see stuff where I don't. I'm not meant to see it. I don't see it. Yeah. So you bought, you got the Netflix check. Yeah.

That's one of the one things that we wanted to talk to you about. You were into cars before. Yeah. You're like relatively big into cars now. Yeah. It's gotten. But you were making cash before then. Now you're selling out everywhere.

You're making cash on the road. Well, yeah, I was making cash on the but I like when I came on here with you guys last year I had only been on the road for maybe a year tops sure so yeah I was still kind of everything hit off kind of fast for me so this was your first big big check yeah and plus the cash that I was getting on the road, I was spending it very, very stupidiously. Join the club, kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta go through that trial by fire.

Yeah, you gotta, if you've never had money, you gotta learn how to have it. Have it, or something, which I'm still. By spending it. I'm still learning it, yeah. Yeah, I got all them glasses. You need some regrets, you know? Sure. Man. So, one of need some regrets, you know? Sure. So,

the how so one of the things is you just posted that you did your first race. Yeah. I drove. Yeah, I drove. I got this. I got a little car. You were like a camera or something, weren't you? It was like a regular car. Actually, no. It looks regular. It's called the Chevy SS called the Chevy SS it's a 2017 Chevy they made those from 2014 I believe to 2017 I forgot what they're called in Australia. They're they're really popular over there. Uh-huh It looks like a Chevy Malibu. Yeah, right doesn't look yeah Yeah, but it has the motor from a Camaro from a super has a 6.2. I think it's like a

370 inch cubic inch yeah it's a pretty fast car the guy who built it put like performance heads on it long tube headers a boiler exhaust he put those fat fuel injectors on it and a couple other things so the thing was powerful actually traded that I won I technically won the car how so I won a 2019 Camaro where for what? in a game of horse What yeah, I won't say who I wanted from How do you get to that point where it's like fuck it let's do it for a Camaro well

I'm I'm not I'm not a great basketball player like I'm not fast, I don't have great handling skills. Can't see, what do you expect? But what's crazy is that even without the glasses, ever since I was a kid, I've had a mean jump shot. I loved playing growing up. So you just got practice on the shot. Yeah, so usually in games of horse, I'll start betting with people.

And I started. Give me the rundown of where that bet started to the card. The bet started with like 50 bucks a game Jesus Christ. Yeah, and then you took the guy's car had one of them It was like I had I had an 87 Super Sport Monte Carlo with 24,000 original miles on it Interior was just clean as a day came out of the factory. Car was beautiful. Actually sold that car, which I regret now.

Did you put that up? Well, what did you have to put up that car? Yeah. So how many games a horse? This is crazy. You're playing up 10 games and you're like, he's like, fuck it. Let's go for the car. No. Could we hustle? We had already stopped playing. And it was like the next day. And instead of being like

50 bucks a game he's like put up the Monte Carlo for my Camaro. Because his Camaro he bought it wrecked and he had just got it fixed and everything. Jesus. And it was like good to go. Can this guy afford to lose a car? Yeah. Okay. Alright.

I'm trying to figure out who it is now. This motherfucker is trying to get to work the next day. Yeah you guys don't know, you guys got his car. And so I won it. And I had been looking for a Chevy SS. The guy who showed them to me is the guy who built the one I have now, right? Uh-huh. He showed he introduced me to SS through his own SS.

And I had been looking for one, but they're a little hard to find, especially because people who like love those cars Like if they if they're at a used car lot, you know people get them fast go quick Yeah, and then they hook them up. Yeah, so The guy who had that Chevy SS around that time Was he was going just to this thing called race week where you go to like four or five different states in one week to drag racing events. And during that time, he kept finding those Apple, what do they call those trackers? Air tacks. The air tacks on his car. Get the fuck out of here.

Where people wanted to rob it, you know? No shit. So he had just had his baby. So he was like, you know, I don't want this car and the type of attention it gets and I have my kid with me and stuff. So he wanted to get rid of it. And I was like, man, I'll trade you for this Camaro. And then you can probably sell that Camaro quicker or something, you know, something.

And he was already trying to sell that car. He had somebody else lined up to get it. And he didn't really want the Camaro. He was like, nah, I'll just sell this one, you know. But I don't know, I guess the Camaro, he was was just like screw it. Yeah, I mean that dude loves to race Yeah, so he kept the Camaro turn that into a race car. I got the SS. It was a happy trade Wait, so was he was there ever like it was it when you go into this game? You're back at the game. Oh, are we indoor or outdoor outdoor? You're out someone's driveway my driveway

You're playing in your driveway Yeah, and is there any like after you win like I don't worry about it, man We were just fucking around her. Nah, I did that and he was like no Alright You one shot That's crazy. That's the gentleman's move. I'll give you the hey I got out of I lost my Chevy assist to that guy and then I got it back Jesus fucking Christ. That's crazy. That's fucking that's like new rapper shit. That's

Roll on the day like this house. Did it come down to one shot to remember the score? It was getting kind of crazy though like The game where I lost my SS, it got real close. And I'm a lot of you lost the SS in a game of horse too. Yeah, but want it back. But I want it back later that night. But I always remember. And then won the guys Camaro.

No, I won the Camaro first. I won the Camaro. I got the SS. And like a month later, he played me for the SS. And I forgot what he put. And I lost it. Dude, what the fuck? You're playing a whole.

That's the craziest thing in the world. I lost because he's really good at those where you're like under right under the net and get and you know, turning the ball. He's got an underhand shot. You wouldn't believe. So you got me with one of those. But you lost the car on a skyhook. What the fuck, Ralph? That's crazy, dude. And you got to do all the

paperwork and all that shit too, right? You signed it over to him or whatever. It's not real. I'll be losing this again in a week. Yeah, we don't do no paperwork. And it's our love. We're all close. I only do this with my boys close friends and family so if there's no like Harvard what do you call it like resentment? Yeah? A week later just like Ralph Barboza shot over a card this you close personal friend indoor family horse game goes wrong

My close personal friend Endor family horse game goes wrong Jesus and now that would the race that I saw that we saw online. That's not was that your first race or now? Yeah, it was a it was at a track out in Texas It wasn't like this crazy event, but every weekend they do drag racing at that strip I'm sorry to cut you off. Did you drag race as a kid? No like any of of your boys or anything? No, I mean I take my mom's car and try to like race and drift stuff What kind of car was your mom? My mom had an Acura my grandma had a jeep the jeep if I'm not mistaken It was a rear-wheel drive So we used to be able to like we go to an empty parking lot and just start trying to slide it and drift it

And stuff, but it you know, they're built kind of boxy. So they like almost hop over we used to be able to like, we'd go to an empty parking lot and just start trying to slide it and drift it and stuff. But it, you know, they're built kind of boxy so they like almost tip over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It almost tip over here and there. And you bring it back to your grandmom's house and it smells like burnt rubber. She say anything to you?

Yeah, one time, because the Acura was front wheel drive, but it was faster. So we take that one, this is one two lane street with the median in the middle, and we just floor it and then we try to do like a 180 drift and then come back. Around? Yeah.

That's what they did in fucking Too Fast Too Furious, go down around the barrel and back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Play chickens if you really want it. One day my mom and my grandma were just like. Who are you, Tyrese? This is crazy. Ha ha ha. When you really want one day my mom and my grandma

One day my mom my grandma were like man my tires are like And my grandma's like me too like what the hell I don't make them like they used to I don't know but don't snow down there. I was like you guys got to stop buying cheap tires Get some Pirelli something I can ride with with. But I never actually like, you know, like race race. Sure. But now that's something you want to do. And are you in there with a regular seatbelt or you got like a harness and a helmet and shit? Is there a cage on that thing? Nah bro, I just put on the seatbelt so the beeping would shut up. He's sitting on top of it? Yeah. Just rode in there like that. I had a beanie on to provide cushion But my car my car was it's not like super it's making like 500 something horses tops like it's not crazy

You know I mean, and you went around the track Straightaway, okay. Yeah, the first it or join not lost. I lost against the guy who built the car He has a race truck that is just like stupid fast. In Texas the most popular racing is like the eighth mile. Okay. So his truck will do like an eighth of a mile in like six seconds flat. Damn. Jesus. Yeah the car will do it like an eight, eight-ish. You should get a PlayStation or something like that. I'm doing some push-ups or something. Man the kid likes the action. How many cars do you have now? Running or all like all together? Let's go all together because you're working on them. Man the kid likes the action. How many cars do you have now?

Running or all I got together. Oh, let's go all together cuz you're working on them all together I got maybe about like tennis. Damn. What are you gonna have? In fucking you're gonna be like fucking Seinfeld. You're gonna be like the Mexican Jay Leno. Yeah That would be sick. You just got to grow my chin out a bit Get some denim. Damn, you got 10 cars. And how many run? One, two, three, four. I think four or five.

Like half of them. The other half, I just go outside in the backyard and I see them out there and I take a sip of some beer and I just go, yep. I take a sip of some beer and I just go, yeah. Yep. Yep. Sure.

You don't fix them at all. Can you fix a car? I'm learning to. I used to do body work. I don't know if I talked about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Body work we know. We used to do body and paint.

You can change an oil though? Yeah. I mean, stuff like that was always pretty simple. Change out a part, a starter, an alternator, whatever. But since I got these other cars and I wanted to put performance parts on them, I met a dude, because one of my favorite cars is the Nissan Skyline.

It's a GTR, and I met a dude who's like a GTR enthusiast who does a lot of content just building cars, fixing them, and he only buys cars that either they don't run or they just suck, and He loves to fix them. Fix them up. He also, you know, he doesn't believe in like buying something that he didn't like build. Sure.

Which I like that. So once I started buying performance parts for my car, I linked up with this dude and I asked him to teach me to like put them on. So I've been learning little by little. Jesus. You got a garage, do you keep them in? Yeah. I never.

So you got a garage, they're not just at the house anymore No, they're at there. Yeah where I live you all garage on the property. Yeah, I built a house on my dad's land So this is another thing we you were in your dad's house or you're in I'm still in my dad's house I'm never gonna leave but you build a house there as well. Yes over this last last year you've built a house on your dad's property. Yeah, so here's the thing. I built the house on my dad's land and the bottom floor... He lost it to me. It's mine now. Chicken fights in the pool. Now I own all the property. Oh, I built a house there and I wanted the bottom floor to just be all garage to fit as many cars as possible and the top floor be where we live and Once it was finished like I didn't want to leave

so I also built what could be a body shop right next door to the house and My uncle who taught me how to paint you are living a dirtbag dude It's crazy nuts my uncle who taught me how to paint was already looking to move with his family and he has, you know, he had his place where he was living, but then he was also renting a shop. Uh huh. So I was like, how about you just move into my house. I stay at my dad's, you live in there with your family and you have a shop. And my uncle didn't want to do it.

He's a very proud man. He's like, nah, I'll find my own thing, you know, but I was like, man, just go. Even my dad was like, you know. This is a fucking it. He's a very proud man. He's like no, I'll find my own thing, you know But I was like man, just go even my dad was like this is a fucking deal It's a deal is the house close enough where he can get like the like the business traffic or whatever Nah, because he mostly just has his like private customers. It isn't like hey, could I come in here get fixed? I got pet boys. Yeah, he's been doing it so long. He just has like his client Fucking sweet. Yeah, so we're he just has like his clients and a cover. That's fucking sweet. Yeah, so we're out, it's just, we have like a cult.

Yeah, you're building a compound. How big is the house with the garage underneath? How many bedrooms is it? I don't remember like the square footage, but it's three bedrooms. There's like a guest bath. So in total there's like three places you could shower damn This is it's that's nice size How and who built it and like why you like getting like the blueprints and like yeah, I like this

I want this I just drew it out the best that I could And then like in the I was like I drew like a big walk-in closet and I wanted a Batman style Of course to go down to go down. Entrance to go down. So like. Like a pole? No, it's not a pole, it's like a little ladder. And so if you're in the garage, it looks like it's a part of the,

like a little pillar coming out of the wall. Like it looks like it's part of the thing, but there's a secret door you can just like go through there. Is there a secret door upstairs? Like, is it behind like a bookcase? So, okay. So before you start thinking. Man, you are blowing cash.

I fucking love this kid. Hold on, before you think of this like really cool bachelor paddle, it's still tech, that stuff is technically not finished, those parts. Okay. I have a feeling they might never be finished. Yeah, so right now there's just a hole in the closet that just goes down and the wood is there,

but it's not like covered up. So you could see somebody just sneaking down. Coming down, there but it's not like covered up so you could see somebody just sneaking down. Coming down, yeah. Kip, what's up about Uncommon Goods? Ah, love Uncommon Goods. Just in time for the holiday season. Gang, we're talking about Uncommon Goods.

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sheet set and mattress protector with any lux or elite mattress order. Go to Helix sleep dot com slash garbage. That's Helix sleep dot com slash garbage. Do it. And you have all the cars like, do you have them like lined up like park nice? Yeah. And it's a nice is it like heated down there? Yeah, we got those. Hey, like those I don't know what you call them. But there's AC and heat. Oh, shit. And they're just there show show piece that I'm not driving.

No, but I mean, like they're ready to go. They're sitting there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the day-to-day car the day-to-day car? It depends like for a little while driving around this This is 1998 Nissan 240 and those cars like real low to the ground doesn't have much power But it feels like driving around a go-kart, but I never put insurance or like got it registered So I stopped driving it because I kept getting pulled over I never put insurance or like got it registered So I stopped driving it cuz I kept getting pulled over

Makes sense. Yeah, but a lot of the police that would pull me over be like hey, man, you're funny Like get on out of here wacky crazy kids Barboses are up to no good out there one guy was just like yeah, I don't know who you are Getting tickets sure Do you say to him? Hey, I'm a comedian. Nah, I just I just like, yeah, I don't know who you are. You're getting tickets. Sure. Do you say to him, hey, I'm a comedian? Nah. I just, I just like, sorry, but I'll tell him right when they pull me over, like, sir. He's got Netflix queued up. I'll just be like, sir, I'm gonna let you know right now, I got no insurance, no tags,

like before, like not gonna lie to you. You can always just be like, I'm fixing it up, I just wanted to take it out for a test drive, whatever. I tell them, I'm like, I don't know, because I live in a small Texas town. I'm like out in the country So I'm like I don't go far. I was like I hope you don't think I was trying to take this Far where like I'm just picking up my kids from school Do you have like the even like the temporary registration? Or you have there's nothing on it. There's my friends old plates. So there are plates. I bought it from yeah, okay

I'm least like visually it looks like the car is registered. Yeah, no If you look at this car you're like no But it's fun to drive So you got your uncle in your and his family in the house now So now the family's even bigger on the property. Yeah, and you got your dad in there. Your dad want you out? Nah, it's tight. You guys are a tight unit. Yeah, that's even that's even cozier. Does he have kids your uncle? Yeah, so you got the kids running around all that shit. They know my son lives with me So like they're they're always playing with my son. He's right and stuff. So yeah, no, it's sick. I love it. That's awesome

I bet it's fucking quite the life. You're you're carving out for yourself. Where do you live? I was with his parents not not in the cool way Not in the Batman house I do want to say you Following you on Instagram you have inspired me to buy my first. Oh, yeah I went back and bought the first car I ever owned yeah, but you have cool mines not cool What'd you buy a 95 Chevy Lumina? Yeah? Yeah? You're gonna say like a pickup truck

Let's go get the basketball We're about to win a Camaro It's this I bought one of these hell. Yeah, I just got like two weeks ago. I fucking it's awesome I just drive it around I drove it for the nostalgia Yeah, just a bit. How old were you when you had it 16 16? Yeah, did you mind me asking what years this isn't what year I was I was 16. Yeah 2020 Thousand probably 2002 2003. Hell. Yeah, so yes, you're in your Lumina you take your girl

to go watch spider-man 1 you got the collectible Toby Maguire popcorn tin can sure I'm not gonna not closing the deal by any means to make out point to strike out you got some juvenile plans so it looks good won't you back that ass I was a big I was going to get Richard I try and hit that was lodged that was lodged in the aftermarket Head unit I you were driving the lumina like you windows Man, yeah, you're looking in the rear view like would you say get up on my car? That's a 50 fan right there So other than the cars have you done anything in so you're still in your room

At the house have you have you upgraded anything in there have you upgraded anything in your dad's house? Because you've been torn for the last year you got the Netflix check you got a lot of stuff coming You see you got the Hulu special coming out when it's ready. I got this cool poster. It's like frame Like this frame poster. It's a painting of cars on the highway really yeah, what that set you back? like a hundred bucks Really throwing it around frame money You know it's cool is like I'll go to Walmart and just ball out and everybody's looking at me like the hell I Guess cuz I was balling out at a wall

Do you take the family we take like, some of the kids be there, get whatever you want? A couple of times. But mostly I'll just run in there and I'll get a bunch of pants. How many pants? Now I'll buy like a ridiculous amount of pants. What's a ridiculous? I'll buy like 20 pairs of pants. All the same pay. You find a pair you like. I'll find like a pair and I'll buy like four of those and then like four of these. Uh huh. One time I bought like just a whole bunch of pants and it's like a bunch of those and they're like four of these what's up about like it's just a whole bunch of pants and

And it's like a good news for being the weirdest guy And I bought a bunch of waters. There's a lot of us about like a bunch of cases of water Uh-huh, and everybody's looking at me like I must pee his pants a lot Any adult diapers are in the back And what's the holidays looking like down there? You guys do Thanksgiving at the house? Hell yeah. Love Thanksgiving. Okay. Being Mexican, every now and then there's one family member that will be like, maybe I can make fajita and enchiladas. And I'm like, shut up. We are Mexican. Those are foods that we just, those are regular foods. We have those

every day of the year. Every other day. I would be about that though like the Italians don't throw don't throw a little pasta course in a Thanksgiving dinner I mean they could throw it in but you're not gonna completely like no of course you gotta fucking turkey yeah so every now and then there's one family member them like you're not in charge of Thanksgiving you shut your pie hole now we're gonna turkey like the Mexican street corn it's got the layers on it on top. Yeah, we just rub some mayo with a brush. That probably be pretty good. But we're gonna fry one and then there you go. So we made a deal. The women will keep it old school down there.

The women, the men shut their fucking mouth. The women will cover their ankles The women shut their fucking mouth the women will cover their ankles Respect now the women are gonna bake one and the men will fry one. Okay outside We got a very alpha thing that's frying of the you think so. Yeah, great every dude that ever has done it bright We've we've always done it. I just thought it was a very cholesterol II. Yeah, yeah It's fun. Send it away from the house. He cocked cock a couple of beers takes a while don't put it in there frozen No, sure start out. I've had some bad experiences trying to fry food I learned how to fry food one time. I tried to fry chicken, and I didn't know that uh it was like live Thrashing around

Not you gotta cut its throat first god damn it. I thought it was like like you know crabs you got to throw them in alive. I didn't know that cooking oil doesn't like bubble up when it's at boiling temperature. So I'm like waiting for it to get to boiling temperature and finally I'm like I see it bubbling and then I threw and then I threw in the chicken, but it was like way too high Yeah, the whole house almost burned down god damn. Yeah, man, but I got it done after that Okay Said that would have pointed yeah, yeah, it's almost burnt the fucking neighborhood down. I came back. Yeah I made my own little like batter. I don't remember what all I put just seasonings that I thought smelled good batter. I don't remember what all I put, just seasonings that I thought smelled good. Put like some Cajun seasoning. I mixed up some egg yolk with like Frank's hot sauce.

Okay. That sounds pretty good. Did you like an egg wash? Man, that thing was smacking. As the kids say these days, it's a smack. So big Thanksgiving at the Barbosa. How many people will be over there? Man, I don't know. 20, 30? I never know sometimes We're like yeah, just these people and then it ends up being more

Sometimes we invite everybody and nobody shows up there that ever happened to you or you're like just the immediate who lives in this house And then like more people sure sure but then the year you invite everybody you're like nobody come never bring we're never invited them again You start doing math like oh, I told everybody come at 7 and you know I probably traffic 930 Okay, huh, what's what's Christmas looking like how many people do you have to buy Presents for and are there Christmas are there expectations? I don't know a little bit of cash or people going like hey, I hope there's no expect I let everybody know that they're all I

Don't fucking you can cuss on here, right? Yeah, I let everybody know that there are pieces of shit Your boy's He's the biggest piece of shit and but I'll buy them gifts now. I look like Scrooge. You know like sure But your old pants, but like that every as long as I keep reminding them that there are pieces of shit to me No matter what I get them. It's all like exceeded expectations Has anybody come to you over the last year looking for a little little hand out alone buddy Buddy as you say out here in New York forget about As you say out here in New York forget about it

But then you got somebody like your uncle that doesn't want it Yeah, my uncle's golden that guy only that guy only pays you back in favors. I love it That's great favors and pays you back in favor and great. I mean looking forward, you know I was teasing you about wasting the money. You're on your dad's land. You're building a second property. You got the shop now. I mean, these are all investments. Yeah. You know, so to speak, minus the pants. Yeah. Water.

I don't know. I'm pretty sure a business manager would have a couple a couple of men. So that poster alone. Yeah. I asked like other comedians, like what like do they have business managers and stuff like that? they they recommended this one, dude And he's been cool But I also think he gets mad a lot and he kind of just gave up on me Cuz he's like will tell me like don't do this do this instead or do that. I'm like nah

I'm like this car. I can't pass up this deal So you have access to all the fun so you could just do whatever you want. Yeah I've always told people like I won't this money won't last But I never did it for the money anyway Amen, baby, so I keep that's what I like. There you go. They fucked up giving me money, man What's the further is there What's the further, is there obviously not in the details of any kind, but like has there been someone that came out asking for a loan of some kind and you'd be like, dude, I haven't talked to you in 15.

Like, yeah, like I get family members and you know, friends and stuff like that. That all makes sense. And you know, you take care of your own and everything. But has there been someone who's like so far out of left field, like, dude, I haven't talked to you since elementary school. Well, there's dudes that I haven't had a class with since middle school. And I'm like, bro, I've only just liked your Facebook posts over the last 15 years. You know?

They think they're in. And then one day it just sent me a message and I didn't open it. I didn't know. Like this happened from a few different people where I don't, I don't open it. Yeah, you get to a point where you can't open them. I don't, I don't have my notifications on. so I can't see what the message is, like at all. I can only every now and then when I check my messages on Instagram or Facebook, I'll see that there is a message. So I can only see the first few words.

That's enough. Yeah. Sometimes. It's just like, so I saw one and it was just like, hey man, what's... And then I'm like, alright. I didn't say nothing back. I was like, maybe I'll open it tomorrow or like, hey, man, what's like? All right. I didn't say nothing back. I was like, maybe I'll open it tomorrow or something. Right. And like an hour later, I saw it again and it said, it just has to be paid by. No, it does not.

I was like, all right. You know, you know, you do. You start playing everybody for everybody horse How do you got to beat me in a horse how bad do you want this long own the whole town? Bring that gas bill over Bring the gas bill in your in the deed to your car Man that's fun. That's fucking really good one of the one of the big things we do. What was the name of? That's fun. That's fucking really good one of the one of the big things we do. What was the name of?

The high school you went to we find out if you were on the notable alum on your Wikipedia If you are now if you are now what notable alum what yeah So like alumni the alumni so like the famous people that went to the high school you make the Wikipedia page I went to a school called North Mesquite High School North Mesquite. I remember yeah, we actually had people hit us I'm like holy shit. I go I went there. Oh dang so guard. It's a garbage town for sure I didn't think anything else. Yeah, North Mesquite anything, you know, if there is sauce Here's the thing. Here's what was what I kind of hated about my little town, but then I grew to be like, all right Whatever. Don't you I yeah, you're I appreciated that as I've gotten older. Yeah, because I have ties, I have relatives, and a couple times I stayed in the Dallas city limits, because I'm originally from Dallas, Texas, in Oak Cliff.

But Oak Cliff, it's a neighborhood, it's pretty rough, so a lot of my relatives over there would be like, oh, you live in Mesquite, like you have it good, you have it set, right? But to people of your background, when they hear you're from Mesquite, they're like, ugh. Yeah, ugh. To your family, you were like. Yeah, so there was like no winning, because my family didn't respect me

because they're like, you're from a nice neighborhood. But people from nice neighborhoods were like, nah, bro, you're from like a step above a trailer party So yeah, it's very hard growing up there. Okay. What do we have for noble notable alum? He's gotta be he is not what? And they have his high school wrong on Wikipedia. They have just Mesquite high school, but you're North Mesquite and there's Nothing on both bastard. I think we were like rivals with them also I was like I don't even think a lot of the people that work there knew I was a person there Doesn't matter they should now get your shit together kids got ten cars. I'm gonna I'm gonna pull up or that work

I'm gonna pull up in a car to the front parking lot. Just start revving my motor and then no me now motherfuckers I don't know they got big Jagger's ex-wife. They need Ralph Barber Come on. They got a Jagger's ex-wife with yeah. Oh, yeah, I remember her Jerry Hall hell Jerry Hall. I get brought I think no no that's you think Paul McCartney Paul McCartney dated a one-legged chick man in the McCartney. Yeah long time Oh, yeah, Harry Hall, this is a deep cut, was a model and an actress back in the day, and she was in the original Batman with Michael Keaton.

Wait, wait, she was the girl? No, not the main girl. Remember the girl that he was banging the boss's girlfriend? Yeah. And then he fucked up her face? She dated Jack Nicholson. That's Jerry Hall.

Jerry Hall, Jack Nicholson. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. Power couple. That's a long stretch. You go for her to, you know, nothing against her. You go for her to Ralph. Get Ralph on the goddamn board. Can't sell fucking tickets. Nah, come on. She was on the first Batman. That's pretty sick. That's nice. Yeah, sorry. Oh, no, I was going to say, I just saw an Instagram post the other day, Michael Keaton was wearing Jordans in that Batman suit. Michael Keaton is also the only guy, I guess before the Dark Knight trilogies, back in the 90s, 80s technology.

Michael Keaton is the only person to play Batman in two movies before Christian Bell. Back then, they said it was like horrible torture to wear the bat suit Michael Keaton was the only one that was like a hero fuck it. I'll do it. They deserve respect that did I just saw it again. Maybe like a month ago. It fucking holds the fuck up boy. It does We got hurt. I gotta pay I got a you know, thank you Tim Burton shout out Hey, he did that one then he did the other one with penguin with Danny DeVito, I gotta, you know, thank you Tim Burton. Shout out to your B. He did that one, then he did the other one with Penguin with Danny DeVito.

Of course. Bro, only, I don't know, anybody who's booked Danny DeVito on anything is genius. Sure. I was thinking about that too the other day. People have different opinions on actors. Have you ever heard anybody say a bad thing? They love him.

Or anybody say, I don't know, they like Danny DeVito. Nobody. Not one person. He's in those Jersey anybody say, I don't know. They like Danny DeVito. Nobody not one person knows Jersey Mike commercials killing him kills Danny DeVito was one of the main characters and the narrator for Matilda. Mm hmm. Nobody has ever had an

issue with that. Yeah, it's a little off that he's like, he's like torturing Matilda, you know, just giving her the worst childhood. But also he's like, let me tell you about a special little girl. It all started one day. It's good. Okay.

Also too, I wanted to mention you were, we were DMing a couple of weeks ago, a month, a few months ago, you were partying with drugs. Do you do a couple of weeks ago? A few months ago, we talked. How was this morning? It's mostly alcohol for me. I got a bit of a problem. No, you were fucking living the rock star lifestyle with Mexican OT.

Yeah, man. All-state, dude, he's crowd surfing at fucking festivals. Yeah, it was fun. So, I went to my first concert ever. We were talking about that. I just went back and listened to the first episode. had just you had been to a concert that month or something Did I yeah, it was very early on sorry. Yeah, it was it was a concert You went to not that long ago from the last time you were here

yeah, I went to this concert and I got to like hang out backstage and I got to watch the concert from like the side of stage. It's very cool. It's cool. It is. Don't get me wrong. But I'm looking at the crowd and I'm like, they're fucking having fun. But it wasn't like a crazy, like where they start a mosh pit or anything like that. So then when I went to O'Tease, it's at Austin City limits and it's just this ginormous crowd and he's like y'all

split up he's like he's like open up open up some space and he's about to make them start moshing and I'm already watching from like way behind him I'm like well this is badass and and then he goes they said they're asking if you're gonna get in there Ralph you gonna get in there Ralph he I was already fuck that I was already wanting to get in there and I had this sweet Bucky shirt that I had just bought Because it was like around election time So I said it had the Bucky's Beaver like with the 20s at 2024 with the American flag And so everybody was complimenting it that day

and so I I went up to the front of the stage and I took off the shirt and Everybody's like wow and I threw the shirt into the crowd. A little bit of it was like, fuck, man. That shit was- I gotta wait another four years to get one of those. Yeah. That shit was badass. But the crowd went crazy. And then so I went up to work,

there's like these steps on that metal little gate thing that holds the crowd back. So I went up on those steps and I just went like that. And then I started crowd surfing. And they almost dropped me a few times. And I had this chain on, which I don't even wear jewelry like that, but I had been in Houston like the week before,

like a few days before that. That's the Houston passport. Yeah, this jewelry came and he hooked it up with a chain, gave me a good price. And I was like, man, I have to get it. Like I just have to. I was wearing the chain But I when I soon as I was crowd sir, I was just holding on to it the whole time

Like I don't trust you degenerates Clutching your pearls and then a crowd-serving with the common folk and then I had my left hand in my pocket I don't want my phone to fall out. Uh-huh. And uh, there's a couple times where like they dropped me, but then they'd catch me and One one of the ones they dropped me in my head almost hit the ground and they caught me and then they just launched me Yeah, just like torpedoed out like like a whale coming out of the water something dolphin style and Then I ended up I landed on my feet And then like everybody's looking around and that's when like the music like the beats dropping

so we're like wow so we're just like just dancing and hopping and stuff and Hymen and and OT security guard came to like alright. That's enough like get him out You know and so they got me back out there, but yeah, I was nuts Oriframes baby the best in the biz or a frames or a frames talk about taking The work out of this holiday season if I could go to or frames and kiss them all on the mouth I would all you got to do is go over to the website Say you got four or five ladies in your life Do you got to take care of an aunt a grandmother a mother-in-law a sister a cousin?

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Ah, nice. And I wrote this skit where me and him were the commentators at a wrestling match, and I just like created these stupid characters like the invisible masturbator, and stuff like that Yeah, I Forgot what the name of the other ones were but uh, but it was fun And I got to meet up with him and like record and he's been I don't know

He's been cool people ever since so when I was I had a couple shows in Austin And he was gonna be there at the same time He's like man stay an extra day and come to Austin City Limits with me. There you go. Yeah night How's that backstage with him? That was dope. That was sick cuz we're all teased backstage You can be backstage and you can go just party with the crowd How's the difference has your backstage at your shows changed at all over the last year? Yeah, what's that? What's in the rider? Are you yeah? You put anything in there? I didn't know that there was a rider for a long time and my agent was bringing his own lunch

Fuck just packing a sandwich chicken fingers are free Now I didn't know there was a rider at first and we started hitting theaters You know in January and my agent was like bro these theaters will provide whatever you need. Well it comes for the for the listener it's like the clubs if you're at a club you just order they just give you free drinks and whatever you want off the club menu because they're making it there but the theaters don't have a kitchen and a lot of times the bar is like a separate thing so they go they go shopping for you yeah whatever you want. So I was like, all right, I don't know,

I was like put like soda, hot Cheetos, and my agent would always check up, he's like, is there anything else you want? I mean, like anything, like is the temperature in the rooms okay? And I'm like, bro, we can tell them what temperature to put the green room? And he's like, yeah.

So I was like, all right, all right. From now on, every green room that I go into, write it in there that I want it to be at 69 degrees. And like, I forgot about it though. And they'll do it in most places, and if they don't, I don't even care. But I forgot about it. And then like a couple months ago,

I did a college gig in New Mexico, and the building was pretty old. So the green room was like way down in the basement and it's like this dressing room type thing and they had all these like those like electric fans and like they had one of the the ones that with the big old tube like like an indoor like an indoor thing and then they had like these little fans and then they had like a thermometer in there and they're like oh man You know, it's like an old building. It doesn't have a seat, but don't worry. Mr

Barbosa we're trying our best to get it to 69 degrees Like oh shit, I forgot all about that. You don't gotta do that man. Yeah, that's right. Yeah These flaming hot Cheetos aren't that spicy Wait flaming hot Cheetos. What's the soda that you want in there? You drink regular soda, you drink diet soda? I drink diet soda. So I'll have like, both. I'll have like Dr. Pepper's and Diet Dr. Pepper's.

It's like a Forrest Gump. As a comedian, I love it. I tell people all the time, I'm just Forrest Gumpin' it. Like, I just like running. This kid just drank nine Dr. Peppers. What the hell? He's about to hit a mosh pit. I'll tell them, put like whatever chips, but like hot Cheetos, hot fries, because sometimes

I like to get like hot Cheetos and hot fries on the same plate. And then there's like lemons and limes on my Ryder, so I can squeeze lemon in there. Hot fries like the chip. Like the hot fries. Hot fries, from the people from the company that buy you hot Cheetos. Wait. The sticks.

They're little sticks. They're red. Yeah, hot fries. But there's also the other brand of hot fries. OK, so not those. But sometimes they'll bring those. And I love those, too. Wait, so you're eating not Andy Caps. You're eating of hot fries. OK, so not these, not those. But sometimes they'll bring those. And I love those, too. So you're eating not Andy Caps off.

You're eating other hot fries. You're eating the off brand hot fries? The Hot Cheeto ones. Chester's hot fries. That's the Cheetos name. That was a thing. Yeah, he also makes hot fries, Chester. I got to get back out there.

Yeah. Oh, it's OK. It's a whole new world, my friend. But I'll take either hot fry like Dan, do you say you'll do a flaming hot hot fries and then the thing we skipped over is you'll put lemon and lime on them. Yeah, I mean, I'm no prince, but I like to. The only other person that I've heard do that is Saddam Hussein. I swear to God, they said Saddam Hussein.

See if you can get those back Jack. I'm who say Don't look at me as one of the women of you like Doritos and he used to sprinkle a little like water or lemon juice on it Yeah, no, I mean I gotta give him that he At least he did that, you know if I had been born somewhere else I might have become the next And you put lemon and lime all it. There's still time. I bet you that's pretty good. No, it's pretty good. Honestly, I got tired of it pretty early on the tour.

Well, that's the thing. It's the same in every place you go. So you're like, ours is our manager put on gummy bears because I've mentioned that like gummy bears and I'm like, I can't, I don't need more gummy bears. Yeah, I've done. My dentist hates me. Yeah.

And in that vein, I never for some reason, I've been eating Mexican food my hates me. Yeah, and in that vein I never for some reason I've been eating Mexican food my whole life I've never come across them until maybe like in the last couple of years is chile quiles am I saying that right? Yeah, I was like the soggy tortilla. Yeah, the Brecht little bit I'll have like the that is whatever and that length That's the same thing as putting like the lemon or whatever soften them up a little bit. Yeah, god damn You know what's tough to find in New York is hash browns. Really? I mean, I every time I go to a dinner called me.

I just have like home fries everywhere I go. A lot of that. Yeah. So it's mostly home for us. Yeah. What's crazy is that I'll go to these diners and they don't have hash browns on the menu, but sometimes they'll have chilaquiles or sometimes they'll have levels of rancheros. And I'm like, you guys went like too south Yeah, it's good. Yeah, like that. I'm glad you have that. I love that too I was like but at least put some hash browns on sure. Yeah, sure. You're not wrong now. I'm with you 100%

Look, do you have anything on that? He could eat a bag of Doritos in 10 minutes? I'm not seeing the addition of lemon or lime. I'm telling you So that's awesome could eat a bag of Doritos in 10 minutes. I can do it in five That's crazy his favorite chip was a cheeto though. I okay. I wonder who's timing them Yeah, he's like we'll get to that other evil shit later. He's like real quick record this. It's his prison guards tell all See there you go. I guarantee you that's in there about the sprinkle in the water. He liked to soften them up a little bit Good for him. That's funny. Have the as the palette gone up a little bit with the you know, the

She puts the lime I'm aware of that I'm aware but what about like it's all about like a nice dinner or anything like that. Um What's cool is that like? I? Don't I don't know, this didn't used to happen. You know, before I was, Netflix is Ralph Barbosa. Before I was HBO, Entrenos the Winners 3, Ralph Barbosa. Shout out to it.

Damn, that's you? I thought that was another Barbosa. If I would be dating a girl, I would rarely ever get food cooked for me. Now I can like be like, can you make this? Like this idea I have and like somebody will make it. Wait, you'll be at the girl's house and you'll use it as a test kitchen. What's the idea? Throw an idea at me. Dice up a bunch of spam and throw an idea at me um dice up a bunch of spam and

put it with like diced up like tomatoes and onions maybe a little bit of like jalapeno like a serrano pepper and Then like put it in a taco Wait you need someone else to do that. That's great. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna I'm HBO's internet The winners three rough barbo, so baby. I'm not gonna do that. I Met like yes I've had so few stakes. Yeah Do you do any seafood will you do oysters or anything like that? I got I got sick from eating way too many oysters. That's when the money was really getting to me

So I was sitting there with mountains of oysters. That's literally what Forrest Gump would do. They were like, the ocean floors are empty, sir, please. I was like, bring more. I love boils, man. That's another like baller move that I've been doing. At the house. No, like I'll go to a restaurant. I love Oshucks back in Dallas. Oshucks Oyster Bar.

They have some of the best crab boils. Also Fish and Tails does too. I go to those places and I'll be like, they'll have the combo platter where it's a pound of shrimp, a pound of crab legs mixed with the sausage and potatoes. I'll be like, give me two of those. They're like, what? Two? Double it up.

Then I'll finish those and I'll be like, bring another of those and they're like what to double it up And then I'll finish those and I'll be like bring another two. I have a friend coming Crawfish I love crawfish like crawfish Yeah, but but but I'm into I meant all that stuff nice all the shellfish yeah Oh, yeah, but crawfish would be on the lower end. I never really just had a Never really spent a lot of time with them. I'll tell you what next time you're in Dallas You guys got to let me know I'll take you to our shucks We'll get we'll get a boil and we'll order some crawfish as well because what I like to do their seasoning is really good It's not overboard. It's good enough. Also. What's good with the crawfish is that the little juice that accumulates at the bottom?

Excuse me, sorry, you'll crack open like, I like to, at this point I'm pretty fast at taking them out. I'll get about like, my buddy Jojo showed me, shout out to Jojo, shout out to Oak Cliff Barbers where I used to work. You'll take out about like eight or 10 of them while you're just talking, you're just catching up with your boy, you know?

And you're letting them soak in the juice and we also have crab legs and shrimp so we'll eat some of those too why you just let them soak marinate them and then eat them and man okay John's your pre-class sacribleu you have a stroke what happened there any other traveling this year have you gone if you go to Europe or anything like that? Nah, I was supposed to no no vacation. I do want to take a vacation and go visit family in Mexico I haven't been back to Mexico since I was like 12. I used to go every summer. Yeah, I remember you were talking Okay, yeah, yeah, and then we're right there by the coast So, you know, I do want to go back stay by the beach and stuff

But now the only traveling I've done has been work related. It's hard to take a trip and not turn it into like, let me do shows. Let me do a show. Sure. My dad and all the family, they wanted to go out to like Florida and they went, but I was like, I'm not gonna go just to hang out.

I don't know, you know, like, and I know everybody's like ah you'll be fine But the tickets the ticket sales could drop sure next week. Yeah, you want to keep your foot on the gas I respect that I'll put some foot on the gas also. I got some cars. I got to pay off I actually lost a lot of horse games that I'm in then I'm still paying Are you by far the best horse player that you roll with? Or is it, there's a couple of people that are. Nah, bro, in my circle. But also if you look at my circle, you're like, yeah.

He's the best at most sports. I'm assuming. We saw Hyam when he walked in. Hyam is the next skinniest dude after me. The everybody, yeah. I think because at heart, I'm a big boy. I can't gain very much weight being like diabetic. Okay.

You know, I also have like a pretty fast metabolism, but yeah. You know, I'm type one, so my body doesn't produce insulin. And insulin is what makes you gain the weight, you know? But my doctor is very... Yeah, you got all his. My doctor is very upset with me. About what? It's my health.

He's eating seven crab boils. What are you talking about? On the inside, I am dying. Yeah, it's just not. It's not great. What's the squad when you're rolling around on tour? How many guys are with you? It's usually about four of us.

It's me, Jaime, and then it's the twins. They're not really twins, but they're around the same size You really do anybody that is like cast of characters one of them open for you Yeah, they all do okay even Jaime was the only one that wasn't an opening but even I was like get out there now He's out there get out there you like for the folks that don't know He's the co-host on the on the fat fish podcast. Yeah, I was also now a Reoccurring co-host on Bobby Lee's Tiger Belly, right? Yes. That's awesome Yeah, goofy do it on there. You'll see a goofy looking do it at least there you go

Sure Shout out to Bobby Lee and Tiger Bell and have the hotels that you're staying at have they elevated at all or where do you still? Like just like I'll hit the fucking courtyard Marriott or whatever I mean, I definitely I like staying at some of the nice ones I've stayed I usually stay at whatever is closest to the venue, but every now and then one time we're in Chicago and I got I stayed at the Ritz Carlton. Okay, and man these nicer hotels. They'll do 24-hour room service Yeah, so we'll like go outside, smoke a joint, and then at 2 a.m. we'll try to like write some jokes, but we'll just order like a steak

and watch South Park at like 2 a.m., just high as hell, it's sick. Dude, he's 28 and experiencing that? I'm in my late 40s, he's in his late 30s, and we're going through the same thing. We're doing the same thing. If we're like going somewhere. They brought my cheeseburger in on a cart.

Yeah. Yeah, they do it on the. And we always talk, we're like, do you let let him in or do you take the card from over? I still don't know what we're supposed to do either. I tipped them too much because I feel weird I'm not used to people like the Mafia. I'm like, thank you We were we were somewhere and I got something to eat and they had a it had a thing on I'm like What's this and it was like a little box and she's a buzzer and she's like when you're done Push that button will come up and get it. Oh man put that thing on the hallway

I thought they were watching it or something like that. I didn't trust it Well, I would be just afraid of like getting charged for touching the button sure I'm like, I have so many hidden fees. I'm not supposed to do this. I stopped we've done it a handful of times we usually use our our points will cash in our points to do it and I'm always so awkward with the guy who's given it to I'm like just stop right here It's a he's like you want me to come in I'm like no I don't want nobody in here. This is the first time this ever happened to me was at a hotel here in New York Usually when I come to New York, I stay at my buddy's apartment on his couch in Astoria

That's how you did your fucking HBO trace whatever you're here You can't be staying on a couch in Astoria. Nah, I love that couch man. You're yelling for him for room service Kissing them, but I'm sorry to do I take spam what you cut it Spam You have wraps here gonna eat some tortillas But uh I stayed at I stayed at this really nice hotel here And they woke me up because they came to clean the windows what yeah, what time like don't you? I mean to be fair was already like noon

And I was supposed to check out But they're like you don't want your windows clean I'm like no Fuck out of my room Come back with a steak with a box What a beeper What do you tip the what do you leave for the staff? I don't know man. I leave I feel like I leave good amount. Yeah, sometimes my family's like that's too much, but I'm like that

No, it's never too much. Yeah, if I was that guy I would also want a tip Yeah, of course the more I think that I would hate your job the more I'll tip you sure it's a good way to look at it Really good way to look at it. Yeah, huh? I mean the kids still trash. Yeah by through and through what he's talking about We have a couple So we have recurring guests we have questions from the patreon when they join the patreon to get their questions read on the air This one's from clapper. Will you kiss someone else's dog on the mouth hell? No? This is how trash I am I don't respect most dogs really it depends on like, just how I see you.

I mean, wild dog out in the open, I'm running away from that thing. Yeah, of course. I live out in the country, man. I tried to go for a jog one time. I got chased by half the dogs out there. Yeah, okay, that's a little different. I guess I'm one of them on the job.

But if I go to like your house and you got like a good dog, I'm cool with the dog. I'll pet it and stuff, especially if it's nice. But like if it sheds a lot, I'm like, get it away from me a good dog I'm cool with the dog I'll pet it and stuff especially if it's nice but like if it sheds a lot I'm like get it away from me. Sure I understand that. And then if they lick me a lot I don't want to kiss the dog. What the hell? I'll kiss your wife before I kiss your dog. Well sir you can come over my house tonight. I'm the dog motherfucker. my house tonight. I'm the dog mother fucker. Humping the guy's leg. He's humping the dog. How the fuck do you like it? I let the dog watch. Let him watch. Watch me while I make out with both your owners. That was good. Was that Let Him Watch from Wolf of Wall Street?

Yeah. Let him watch. Bring Street? Yeah. Let him watch. Bring some chicks over. Let him watch. Wow, we got chicken or what? You just hit liquid half the other day. That's all I've turned into since I've made money is just John Bertholdt's character on Wolf of Wall Street. He's got a bag of perks with him.

Peyton some Scandinavian lady. With all due respect. That would be sick. Honestly, that's why I want to go to Europe is just find the toxic girlfriend over there bring her back to the st. Bring her home and wreck it all. Yeah, I respect it. I married one. I like that. Nice you did yeah German girl Yeah, hell yeah, bro Come over kiss her Let's see here this one's just funny this is from Jimmy bread bowls

Home run of a name is it garbage to tell people you think he got roofied after getting too drunk the night before I've done that where I've made an ass out of myself. Someone must have something hell. Yeah, bro. You gotta Man I'll go like months sober uh-huh, and then I'll go a few months just partying way too much Okay, I get pretty I get pretty lit. What are you getting drunk on? Mostly beer. Okay. Yeah, I love a modello. Okay. I know you guys are gonna say about this, but I love some Budweiser Oh, I'm a big I love it. Yeah, I go to beer I'm a bud have bud in a bud in a bottle is fucking a Bottle nothing's better. What about a heavy? Have you have you have you got into any specialty cocktails like do you like an espresso

Martini or like if I'm with a girl and they're drinking one yeah take it long we don't like give me that thing How are you on the dating scene now you date a little bit? I'm dating a little bit and are you doing like proper you're doing proper dates when you say proper I just are I immediately feel like I'm disappointing people I Don't know if there's a proper dates. Are you taking that to dinner? I'm sometimes If we're hungry, he told you he invites him over and they make him spam How's the spam in this place Did you chop it up let me send my girl back there's a chopper

And you're always picking up the check when you go on a date with a lady, right? Yeah, I'll pick up the check. Nice. That's respectable. Gentlemen. But if they, and it never happens, which is making me wonder like what kind of women am I talking to? But if they're, if they're ever like, no, no, no, I don't want you to pay this. We'll split it or like I'll pay you pay this when I'll pay the next one. I'm cool with that too. Okay. And you said that hasn't happened. No, no

I don't know long time It's got a running tab over at all shots Are both you guys married? I'm married. He's about to get back to get married. Congratulations. Thanks, buddy Do you always pick up the tab? You're the working man? Yeah, that's cool That's awesome. Do you but is that like if he hits her too? If she if she had told you like that she's not that type and she don't want you to do that, would you have been cool with it? Like when we started dating?

Yeah. Actually when we started dating, she paid for a lot of stuff. Same. Yeah. It wasn't up until like three years ago, two years ago we started making money. Yeah, she had my back a lot. Dude, you guys, I'm jealous. Yeah.

I feel like I've screwed up any chance at having a woman that genuinely likes me, like your wife and fiance likes you. Sure. Dude, my wife actually, she emptied out her savings account so we could open up our first studio. What? Yeah.

Dude. Yeah. Paid her back, and now she's talking about points on the back end, which it's like, You gotta let me see your penis Something about you must be you're gonna need those glasses You must be a great listener He snuggles with the best of them Big spoon dog

So much fun ladies and gentlemen, mr. Ralph Barbosa, the podcast is the Fat Fish Podcast. First guest was Chrissy DiStefano. Yes, sir. Chrissy D. Shout out to Chrissy. It's already moving, got numbers on. If you haven't checked it out, gang, do yourself, check it out. Check out a special on Netflix, and he's gonna have a new one coming out on Hulu.

One of the funniest young stand-up comedians working today. The kid's killing it. We love him. Ralph Barbosa. Yeah, man. Thank you. I'm not garbage anymore. Thank you guys for having me. We love you, buddy. Kip, what do you got for him? Guys, we're off the road for a little bit, but we're doing the AYG and Friends show that they're dropping on the YouTube every month. Check them out. They're a good, good time. Gang, we love yous. Ralph, we love you, buddy. Yeah, man. Appreciate it, bro. Thank you so much. And we'll see you next week.

Peace.