Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ralph Barbosa Seeks REDEMPTION!

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Ralph Barbosa! We're talking speed, performance and redemption! You Know Ralph Barbosa from Stand Up Comedy, the Joe Rogan Experience, Club Shay Shay w/ Shannon Sharpe, TigerBelly, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, Whiskey Ginger, Your Mom's House, Bertcast, Chrissy Chaos w/ Chris Distefano, Camp Gagnon, The FatFish Podcast and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: BlueChew: Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code GARBAGE at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com Aura Frames: Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com. Promo Code GARBAGE Trade Coffee: For a limited time, Trade is giving 50% off a month of cold brew. That’s around 60 cups of cold brew, for 50% off when you go to https://drinktrade.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that in the group to be classy. See? Yeah.

After just a big old piece of trash. Passura. I'm your host, A Troly, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. She is on her way to 5 o'clock mass. Okay. Can do a little confession. All right.

Going to hit the pour box, light a candle. Do 5 o'clock mass with the Monsignor. Come back, start a little dinner. I respect. She's a new page. New page. I respect that. She's turning a page.

My co-s is coming at you right next to me with a fresh haircut. Am I right or wrong? Yeah, I got whacked up out there, the burbs, dude. Private first class. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang.

Shout out to you. As always, thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available. And YouTube, also full video available on it on Spotify. And the boys are cooking in the charts over there. Really got damn charts over there. Then obviously the greatest website of all time. www.

www. com slash all your garbage go over there and get all that bonus content, gang. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly. And I mean, incredibly special guest. He's back with us again today. I was saying he's almost like the third mic at this point. Definitely family, which is third or fourth time back. He's got a brand.

new special out on Hulu right now Planet Bosa. Give it up for Ralph Barbosa everybody. Hey! Hey! What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the podcast. Coming at you just to promote Planet Bosa. That's it for me. You guys have been great. Thank you. We'll watch now.

Kids got a couple shots of ginger ale in them right now. Yeah. What'd you have a little late lunch? No, I haven't had lunch. This is lunch. Wait, so where do the cocktails come in? You guys don't have to have a drink during the day? Do I have drinks during the day? No, did you today?

Oh, yeah, I had a beer. I just had a beer. I respect that. Well, this is, it's very nice. So, and then I found the world's largest beer. Did you get that in Times Square? Hold on. I want to talk about, I love New York.

I want to talk about how you, what is it, entrapment? No, no, no, no. Because I was like, hey, is anybody else going to have a beer? And you were like, no, but that's what they're here for. Of course. You were like, drink up, buddy. Grab whatever you want. and so I grabbed a good old Budweiser

and as soon as I sit down and you're like, whoa, you're gonna drink all that? You're going to drink all that? You're going for the party ball? Alcoholic? Fucking trash? Yeah.

No, I was, I didn't, first of all, I didn't realize we had the big ones in there. Because I, all, you know, full discrepancy, or full whatever it's called. I drank all the regular Budwisers last, like two weeks ago out of there.

I didn't realize they were replaced by the big ones. This is a regular butter. I just have tiny hands. I know you look so. I don't know. It's actually an eight-ounce can. Your hair is getting better and better. Not that it was ever bad, but it's growing in and looking real sharp.

No, it was bad. Real leading man type of dude going on. Yeah. Now, what happened to you? Because I didn't notice it all day until I saw the size. Bad genetics. A guy was on pills, for sure. I was out there in the summer.

My kind of guy. You have hairs on the back of your neck. Listen, I'm not happy about it. This happened late. This happened late yesterday, all right? I had to do a little bit, a little bit of fixing on my own. Oh, that's bad. But get this.

the guy he's doing the straight race guy's on pills or had a long history of pills previously and he might be clean but he's still slow and he's all pills so he's doing the straight razor right and I don't realize doing it like that I know so you know

stop being a bitch stop being a bitch he's waving this wand in your face when they do like I saw that he pulled it out and then they tip You know, like, there's always, like, a minute. They got to undo the blade, get the new blade, whatever, whatever. So I was like, oh, I got a minute, so I stopped paying attention.

And then he was doing it way too quick. And in my head, I'm like, I don't know if he put a new blade on it. And then I'm like, that's crazy that if he, I'm like, he had to put a new blade on that. How old was this guy? He's all. He's older. I guarantee you there's not a new blade on this. Yeah.

Because then he, they typically didn't take it off and throw it out. Sure. He rested it on, like, the blue Gatorade thing. Nah, old. I was just like, I was probably... He just spit on it and put it back in the door. Not every old school barber, but a lot of the old school guys, they'll just kind of brush it off and then respray it with the cool kid.

Yeah, I think that's where you get to go. Yeah, yeah. Hepatitis Kippy. I know. That's been all my mind, and then I did check the Google reviews, and the one guy was like, I got in a fight with Ronnie about not using a new blade. Fuck. Who's trimming you are?

I'm sure we asked you this, but what's the setup down there? I usually go to my old barber, which is a guy they call my pop. Yeah, I was a barber. Yeah, one of the guys who owns the shop, his name is Jose. He's been cutting my hairs as a kid. I'll go to him, or I'll go to my buddy Ivan. Shout out to Ivan the Great. He's a great barber.

He really is. He's only about four foot two, but he's a great barber. Nobody's coming to you yet. I'm sure we asked you this. No one's coming to the house. In my house? Yes. For me to cut their hair?

No. For them to cut your hair? Oh. He's like, I got a fucking special to do with my office. I got a guy on the eye off. I've been drinking too much today. These two beers are kids. I like it.

Nah. Nah, one time my barber came to my house, but he's old school, too, and he yells at me. He's like, who the fuck you think you are? I got to go to your house. I was like, all right, fair enough. Keeps you humble. Because the house situation, as I've been, I like to follow. You know what I mean?

Yes. I like to see what you're up to. I love the antics down at the house. I love the fact that. Antics is a great word for it. Antics is a great word for it. And I know how good he's doing by, like, if I see a new quad, if I see a new car, I see a couple more people there hanging out of this, hanging of that, running around the track.

I like to see it. It looks like things are going well. They're going well. My house is now the headquarters of my new YouTube channel, Formula Bean. Listen, you're doing success so perfect. It's fucking awesome. Very trashy. But very correct.

No, I have come on today's episode to reverse the last two trash ratings that I got. Well, the 40-ounce Budweiser is a good start. Ignore the Budweiser. I am classy. And the last video I saw you did pick up an ATV or something like that. You were racing something around the house you shouldn't have been. I bought a razor and it flipped over. What's a razor?

It's like off-roading, like, but it's a kid's buggy. It's a kid's buggy. Right. But I bought a kids raise it. I thought it would be fun to buy two of them and race them. That's pretty good. But I could only fit one in my truck and the store was going to close. So I bought one.

And I was like, I would just take turns right in it before July. That's right. It was 4th of July. Yeah. And then we flipped over and we were like, all, we should call it a day. Is the scene down there getting bigger and bigger? There seems to be more people hanging out down there. There seems to be more cars in the garage.

No, it was just a lot of me and my buddies were in Chicago partying. and I was just like, hey, tomorrow's worth of July, you guys want to go to the house and, you know, party there, whatever, and they're like, yeah. You're in Chicago? I was in Chicago. Hop on a flight. Hop on a flight to Dallas and buy a razor, first thing in the morning. That was the first thing you did. Yeah.

And, yeah, Formula Bean, please follow us. We're innovating. Our ingenuical skills are innovating the automotive industry further than, like, it's crazy what we're doing. Explain. Guess we cut a car in half of the blowtor. We did, we put nitrous and turbo on an 89 Nissan 240 SX and blew it up. Okay. We didn't tune it at all.

We just, we wanted to blow it up. That was a plan. Yeah, we wanted to do a motor swap on it, but why take out a perfectly good motor and just let it sit there? Why not gnaw it, turbo it without tuning it? Sure. And just race it and blow it up. Now, I assume you've used, have you used, have you used, I mean, this was like, this is like a dirtbag's dream.

It was to, you know, put Nas in a car. Yeah. Do you have regular cars where you use it? No, that was my first time using Nas. Who did my buddy's car? Who did this work, too? We did it. Can you do that?

The last time he was here, he said he couldn't do that. I'm telling you, I have advanced. I told you about our technologies. Have I not? So your mechanic skills have improved. Yes, every time I come here, my IQ doubles, if not triples. What do you want, limitless pills? I don't know.

The more I drink, the more I learn. This guy's good. By the end of this, I will know how to do more. He's going to be sitting in our seats. I'm going to be Formula One by the end of this one. So you're telling me you guys took an engine out of a car. Actually, no, it's still sitting and it doesn't work anymore, though. But you put NOS on an engine that couldn't take it?

Yeah. But the engine actually took the NOS pretty well. What we fucked up was, so we... So we took it to Houston to race our buddy Freddie. There's a dude down there named Freddy LSX. And he has his own shop. It's pretty big on YouTube. So we go race him every now and then and just whatever cars, slow, fast.

And where do you race them? On the street. Okay. Yeah. Doesn't like take it to the track? Nah, it's not worth it. This is a certain time of night. Monte Carlo.

Certain time of night we're talking about, a quiet road. Yeah, we usually go during the day on the high, not on the highway. Now we go to like empty road. roads. Gotcha. And so we go... No real residential. How do you get that car down there?

You take it down there in a trailer? We took it on a trailer. No shit. So you're like really doing that. Yeah. That's crazy. Only because the car is not going to survive. It wouldn't have gotten.

No, it wasn't. But we didn't tune the car. We just made sure it started, ran. We tested it. Once we put the NOS in, we did the turbo first, then we put the NOS. And we wanted to take it out and test it, but it was raining that night. So we just did a little bit of the test, but we kept hydroplaining. So we're like, yeah, it's good.

This works. That's all I need, boys. So we drove down in Houston to raise our buddy. We tried to hide the fact that it had NOS and a turbo. I was going to ask you that. We're like, nah, it just has turbo because they were going to pop the hood eventually. They were like, it just has turbo. But they saw the NOS containers.

The NOS lines. No, no, no, they saw the lines. They didn't even catch it the first time. We thought we were going to get away with it. But when we pulled up to race, the car was getting hot and smoking a lot. Uh-huh. And the other driver was just trying to be, like, a good guy and be like, oh, shit. Like, let me check it out.

But when he opened it, he also saw the Noss lines. So then, I mean, the car is a piece of shit. Like, it wasn't like a crazy, like that car cost. Like, the car itself. I think my buddy bought it for like $600. Okay. Yeah. And putting the Nause and the turbo on it.

What does that cost? More than 600. He got the NOS for free from, shout out to Nitrous Express. They sponsored him a bottle of NOS. And the turbo. He covered in stickers. it out of a Nissan Skyline that he's rebuilding the motor

and he was like, all right, I'll use it. I was parking in a parking garage. I got these catalytic converters, too. We got some. I'm sure you do. Probably got mine. Is that something you'd be able to do? Would you ever be able to do would you ever go under a car and cut out a catalytic converter and know exactly what you're looking for? Yeah. That's pretty good. I wouldn't even know what it looked like. Yeah, I don't

have any fear of like job security. Like, I got ways, you know. Like, comedy don't work out. I'm good, baby. so we go we race freddie uh they have he has a lot of cars so he matches whatever we bring he'll like match it up with something that'll be a good race yeah so he brings out this little honda civic are we filming this is this content it's on youtube right now there you go on youtube everybody kid does it i'm like this on the thumbnail like oh can you believe classic thumbno yeah what we win the first race mr b standing the next door Mr. Bees, come check out our channel.

The fastest growing channel. Got Nass on it this thing. Got Noss, baby. We beat him the first race. The second race, he, uh... Card didn't blow up. Card handled itself. No, so I think the first race, we were, like, on a 75 shot of Noss.

Uh-huh. And then after we realized the car would survive that one, we were like, all right, well, let's put, like, a hundred shot of Noss or like a hundred-fifty shot. I don't remember. A hundred shot. And, uh, but the car didn't want to start anymore. So we had to keep your foot on the gas to keep it running. And I, that, my buddy raised the first time, I race him the second time. And I was asking my buddy, because the way he did the first race was he shifted down from like, he was a neutral, he floored it.

Then he shifted down to like one, then brought it up to two, then to drive. I didn't know if that was really like the best method. I would have just gone straight to drive. So I asked him, I was like, how do you want me to do it? And he's like, look, just floored and I'll shift it. And I was like, all right. Like, it's your car, bro. I got, I, my reaction time is pretty quick.

I floored it as soon as the guy's hands were going down. But my buddy shifted late. So we gave him two car lanes. So he was already ahead. And he got the jump on us. And we were still catching up because we were like maybe two seconds into the race. And I just went full fucking daughter on the mouse. Yeah, I was just like right away.

Where is that on the thing? You got your hand on the wheel and the, the, well, we didn't like, we had. a button that like activates the NOS wires or whatever the fuck but then there's another button that actually like releases. Yeah, where's the trigger? It's just hanging off a wire in my hand.

Oh yeah? Like on a clicker. I'd want it on the fucking on the wheel. No, we didn't have time to install that. Oh, they did it was on the drive to Houston. Yeah. I didn't have time to refack. So you're one hand in the wheel? I'm one hand on the wheel and then one hand on like the trigger. Wires and trigger, yeah. Regulators. The triggers like. So when you hit that, do you immediately get your

Both hands on the wheel so you can control it? Is it like fast and curious where you snap back? Nah, you can feel it a little bit, but it's not, it's nothing crazy. You're not like, whoa, shit. It's just like everything doesn't go warp speed by you? Nah, unless you're driving like, Tyrese, you're a fucking liar. Yeah, fuck you, Tyrese Gibson. So you hit that.

I didn't say his last thing. And then the car, the car blew up. No, it was, it was going. It was catching up. We were, we're fucking gaining on the, on the dude. We're going to pass them up, and then the motor just dies. It just goes silent. And then I was like, what the fuck?

And then right after we pass the finish line, he's pretty ahead, like two cars ahead, three cars, because he got the start on us. Then we start gaining on him, gaining on them. We're on his, we're on his fucking quarter panel. We're on his quarter panel. And then the car just dies. And so he wins the race.

And then right when we pass the finish line, the motor kicks in again. I didn't know this. Apparently that can happen because you don't purge the Noss. Like, you got to relieve the air Or whatever It's like a shark after you kill it Can still bite you

Yeah Fucking Nat Geo That was pretty good No, I don't think that's what it's like There's air in the system Nice try to, big dog No, no Actually, that does make sense

Because it All right, so check it out So this is what happened Apparently there's like air That gets in the system So if you've ever seen Like in the movies Or like

If you ever see like drag races Sometimes they spray the gnaw out Okay And you just see like Just spray out It looks cool It's like You gotta bleed the line

You gotta bleed the line Come on dog There you go How you doing That's that white trash And you're coming out That is That's it for me

You stab me in the side The fuck Nah so we didn't Apparently that's what Like fucked up It's like air in the line Yeah So that's why the motor died

I think Rookies dude So we fucking and we parked the car. This is the traciest conversation I've ever been apart of it. You came in here saying how you were going to turn it all around. I know.

I'm an engineer now. It's got a lab code on. Who were your boys your role? This is the first time you came with a goon squad. Two good-looking guys, by the way. Yeah, they're also part of the Formula Bean crew. So Formula Bean is me and my buddy Luis, who, damn, maybe I am trash because

Luis, who's username underscore A-F on this. Instagram, which is a horrible username. He was, he's an engineer. He worked for Lockheed Martin. Okay. And I convinced him to quit his job and start his YouTube channel with me. Right. How many subs do you have?

We have, we have a lot, like over, over 300K. Oh, okay. That's, wait, when did you start this? Hold on, hold on. I didn't want you to, your boy to quit his job, but then you guys don't get like $1,500 or something. He'll get there. To be fair, that channel, before it was Formula Bean, it was just his automotive channel.

Oh, okay. So we already, we cheated. You know? Yeah, so, okay, so he had his own automotive channel. You were like, yo, let's quit. Let's put some fucking gnaz on this thing and get cooking. He's good on- He's good on YouTube.

You have all my faith that I don't blow up. But, Mickey, I quit his job at Lockheed. I respect it. It's because his channel was already doing good. His TikTok and Instagram is doing pretty good. But I'm like, I don't think he's going to go to the next level until you start. So we start blowing up $600 cars, dude. Let's quit that job.

Give up your pension. I'm like, bro, until you do this, like, all day, every day. Uh-huh. Like, you got to fucking say goodbye to the job. I respect it. 100%. He was like, fuck it. It took, like, a year of convincing him.

What did he do at Lockheed? An engineer? He was an engineer there. But he can't tell me a lot about his job. Of course. Yeah. Like, when he quit, they even, like, debriefed them. They're like, you can't say.

Is that what they do in Ben and Black? Yeah. Fucking nororalize him. They stuck it off his blood. But yeah, we parked the car after the race. Like, as soon as, I mean, we didn't even park it, it died. And It's funny

Lockie thinks Like he's going to work For like a competitor Or something like that He's going to work For Stark Industries He sees you two On a dirt road in Houston

High as shit I think we're okay You guys are in the car On the back of the truck We are drone behind you Can't what's talking about Blue Chew baby I'm hard right now

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Where we blew it up. We didn't, I mean. When you say blow up, how did it blow up, like blow up? So this is the part where they didn't, I don't think the motor blew up. I think the motor's okay. Yeah, the motor is okay. We blew up the coupler, like the piping. I don't get you.

The pipe blew up to the turbo because when the car finally died right after the race, I pulled over to the side of the road. And I was telling them, I was like, bro, I was clicking the gnaw so much that the little trigger was like bending backwards. It was like, so I had to let off. And when I was explaining that to him, I clicked it twice because the car was off. So in my mind, I'm like, yeah, the car is just turned off, you know? but apparently the Knaz was still spraying.

So when I tried to turn the car back on, it just had Knoz sitting there. And when I try to turn it back on, you just see like a little firebird, just poof, like real quick. It was too bad. But, yeah. Then you push it back on the trailer and that's it. Yeah, it started raining.

So we're just, we lost the race. It's all raining. What was at stake for this race? Um, I think cash? Yeah, 50 bucks. 50? Yeah. They were broke even because I won the first race,

but then I lost the second one. It's a big day down. there, Barbosa Industries. It's formula being... Formula life, I apologize. Which is a subsidy of Barros. Of course. Formula being innovative technologies.

I have one last question where we get to some listener questions since we have you here. The one thing I haven't seen with the hangouts at the house, who's doing the cooking down there? I guess whoever feels like cooking. I don't really eat the food, though. I don't trust these guys. What do you mean? Like, there's not

somebody's not somebody's mom or aunt or dad or uncle that's making... Making some, I figured it would be good. Nah, that day, I think my photographer, videographer, dude, my buddy Enrique, I think he was cooking that day. But then he'd switch off with somebody else. I didn't eat the meat. That's the element you're missing down there.

The cook? You've got to have somebody cooking. Are you trying to join the crew? No. No, I wouldn't want me to do it. You should have somebody's aunt, somebody's mom, somebody's girl. Should be doing heavy cooking for everybody. I don't know.

My stepmom, she made lentils that day. Lentils? Yeah, I love lentils. You don't like lentils? Lentils. You're down there in Texas. Latin culture. You should have things going.

I mean, yeah. Is that like, is there a Mexican dish with lentils or you're just eating just straight lentils? I don't know if it's all Mexican households, but in my house, we eat lentils with stuff. Okay. But I'm also just, I like lentils. I'll ask for them. I like lentils. You get some lentils.

You know, you buy a razor. It's a good Fourth of July. It's not a bad weekend. You had fireworks, I assume. Yeah, a lot of fireworks. We had lost some. I had a bunch left over. But I live out in the country, so you can pop them whenever.

Nobody's going to stay sure. Yeah, we bought them in tech. Didn't we buy them in Texas? And then we weren't sure. No, we brought them in Vegas. We brought them in Nevada, I thought. No, because we took them to Nevada. We bought them in Texas.

And then we weren't sure where you could light them off. And then, like, we were just going to pull over on this. We were in a tour bus. We were just going to pull over on the side of the road. And it was like, we felt bad about asking the tour bus driver to, like, be the getaway guy. It was also around the time of the fires. Yeah, there was a lot. Yeah, there's a lot of fire.

I'm like, I don't want to fucking burn it. That's the perfect time. They got bigger fires to worry about. Well, there are a Roman candle. Yeah, we were just, I think we just gave them to the, we gave them to the driver. Because we got to L.A., and we had no, we were like, I can't fly back to New York with a fucking. That driver pulled over somewhere. He did.

He was like, oh, yeah, I'll take them for short. Well, as a just a quick check-in, yeah, it seems like things are classing up down there a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Was there something you had in mind that was going to turn this around? Besides the bean technology The hair looks good I'll give you that Yeah look at my hair

Huh You know actually I didn't drink in a couple weeks So But you're in New York Is this the last obligation You have for the day? Yeah

Are you gonna go get fucked up after this? No No this is my last beer Oh really? Yeah I'm a classy guy I don't know if you've heard When's the last time

You got fucked up It's been a while I just had a kid So it's been a Oh congratulations Thank you It's been a couple of weeks How old is your kid?

Did we talk about your wife being pregnant last time I was here? I don't know. I don't know, but you sounded like you had a hand in it. We talked about your huge sloin last time. You accused me of having one, which you were wrong. Your wife being pregnant last night. Did I let you want on that? I can't remember.

How's my little kid doing, by the way? I think that clip went viral. I think that clip went viral of you going, I want to see your dick. And he goes, you're going to need those glasses. Uh, yeah. How old's your little one? He's 38. Our little one.

Be my dick. He's eight weeks old. Oh, man. So I got, thanks. I got drunk a couple times within that eight weeks, but not as much as I would like to. I would like to be having a couple of beers with, but I'm not a one beer guy. Oh, no? I'd have to have like.

I'm usually not either, so I'm hoping. I'm hoping this multiplies. Use your engineering power. to rig up another one. My kid is six now, so I've been drinking a while. Yeah. Is he with you at the house? Yeah.

Nice. Yeah. No, he's cool, man. He's like getting into cars, which is like a double-edged sword, you know? It's like I'm happy because I like cars a lot. He's share the passion with him. Yeah, but now he's like picky about what we drive. Like, he's just like, I don't want to drive that car.

We have a blue, I think I talked about it last time I was here. We have a blue, it's a 2017 Chevy SS. So it looks like a Malibu But that's like the power of a Camero It's real loud Right Fucking grumbles a lot He likes that

Yeah he loves that car But he's giving you shit What car he goes in Like if he dropped him off at school Or go to the store or something like that Yeah he's like we need to take the blue SS out We haven't took it out in a while And I'm like nah

I would drive the skyline It's right there It's a GTR He's just like yeah but it's a lame GTR He's like let's take the SS And he starts questioning my Is he trying to get street credit six Yeah bro

I like it This kid is he's evil sometimes You know, I wear like my shades and like a hat sometimes when we go to the mall. Yeah, I don't mind being approached or nothing. Like, it's cool. I like it. But when I'm with my kid, I just, I'm afraid somebody will take a picture of me without me knowing and my kid will be in it.

Yeah. So I wear like the hats in the shades. And the other day at the mall, he tried to take the hat, the hat off. And I was like, hey, don't do that. And I didn't know, like, I don't know what exactly he knows about my career or whatever. He was just like, why? He's like, you don't want people to know your Ralph. Barbosa.

And I was like, what the hell? Whack-ass comedian? He starts talking shit. He does. He was like, I'm going to yell out of it. I'm going to be like, hey, everybody, this is that not funny guy. This kid's awesome. He gets to be in whatever fucking car he wants to be.

That's pretty good. I heard the new special. It's not that good. That dude's going to make me into a man. Yeah, finally. That's good. That's so funny. Uh-huh.

I got a few. new garbage questions that we've, that have, you know, you're your family at this point. How do you feel about the movie Four Brothers? That movie, that movie's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's not classy. I love it too, but it's not.

That movie kicks ass, man. I saw it when I was a kid at the movie theaters. Yeah. My uncle took us all to watch it. That's Mark Wahlberg. That is Mark Wahlberg. I was thinking about that movie the other day. It's so bad.

It's so good. It's, yeah. Andre 3,000? Tyrese, that was his best role Shout out Tyrese I love you, Tyrese Gibson My favorite

My favorite line in that movie Is when I think the detectives Are like talking Describing each brother And when they talk about Mark Wahlberg They're like

If you ever had a daddy He would have made them proud Bobby Mercer I say that to like my friends Who don't have ads You were out of daddy You've made him proud boy It is the

It is the worst the worst, the worst quotable movie. Does that make sense? A movie that's so bad, but so quotable. Yeah. I say it all the time. The bad guy in it was, I don't know, who, he was a pretty big actor, I forget his name,

a pretty big actor, but he was just so over the top. He was, he made the guy, he made his crew, like, eat like dogs. Dog food, yeah, eat off to, yeah, eat it like the dogs that you are. But he goes, I like the way you do business. I say it constantly. They meet on, like, Lake Erie or something to fight, and then they bury them. It's great. That was, that was, that was.

Bobby Mercer, Mark Wahlberg, walks out of nowhere. That's, every time that I see people arguing about politics online, I'm like, they need a fucking four brothers this shit. It's fucking Donald Trump and whoever the fuck wants to come against him, and then just y'all go to the ice. Just go to the eye, just have a boxing match up. You used to do the, they set mom up. They set her up.

And he used to fucking drive me. I'd be like, yeah, it's good. They realized it was a setup in the corner store. They realized it was a hit. And you would explain it every time. They'd like, yeah, man, I've seen the fucking movie. They set her up. They set my up.

That's the greatest line in cinematic is. They set my up. That's pretty good. Okay. Do you read, what do you call the strip club? Not that you go, you're whatever. Gentlemen. Do you call it a strip joint, a strip club, a titty bar?

I just call it a strip club. Okay. Yeah. Straight out. All we say in Spanish, Las Carignosas. That's pretty, that's classy. That's classy. That's nice.

The most interesting man in the world. What does that exactly translate to? Carri no. Carignosa means like, man, how do you describe it? Like they're very sexual. You know, no, not. Voluptuous. Not necessarily sexual, like, what is it translate?

When somebody's like carinos, like, real sweet and like. Affectionate. Affectionate, yeah. Yeah. That's how many gay. Ooh, I got you. It's like the affectionate. The affectionate house.

Yeah. Oh, man, big man, slipping out of me. I just need a hug. Do you enjoy those? I just call it therapy. I call it Tuesday, baby. No, actually, not really. That's not your real house?

Nah, because they're on the job, you know. I like to find love. I like to go to bars and meet women who are also trying to find love. Sure. Is that how you do it? Are you single? No, I'm single. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm single. Am I in love? Maybe. There you go. Yeah. Crushing. I'm crushing on the girl. right now.

Really? Forbid in love. I don't think it ever happened. Unrequitted? Yeah, does she like you back? Uh, I think she does. Unrequitted. Loving the time of cholera.

You're just trying to make me feel even more trashier. No, I'm not. He's like, nah, she's out of jail right now. She got acquitted. What do you mean? You just explained the word to me. Uh, quitted? No.

All those charges were dropped. And my son's not, doesn't know anything about comedy. I don't know about you. You just explained a word in Spanish to me. Oh, yeah. You educated me. Yeah, but then you said, unequitted. Unrequitted.

Unrequitted love, like love that you're not getting back. Unrequitted? That's what that means? Yeah, hit them with that. Did your therapist teach you that word? No. It's from a book I didn't read that I tell people I read. Unrequitted.

I'm going to use that. Was the love unrequitted? If it wasn't unrequitted, that's a salt, brother. That's a shout of another movie. I dare to touch your boobs. It's assault, brother No, yeah, I don't know We talk

You're a little You're a little You're a little A little flustered Yeah I don't know We'll see where it goes You said it's a little bit

Of forbidden love as well I say that about every girl It just makes it sound more dramatic It does Right Yeah, make it sounds like It's the boss's girl Or something like that

Yeah Yeah Her dad and my dad Are opposing politicians I'll tell you guys My dad is running for president Next the next one Next you don't even know the year

No next one Next semester Okay Have you ever posed for a picture with a cigar Hell yeah Yeah Cigars kick ass I don't know why

But every time I've ever had when I'm like The world needs to see Didn't one of these And meanwhile I'm like coughing and shit You feel so cool I'm pretty sure my friends get annoyed with it Anytime I get a cigar I immediately like top

When the cigar is still full You gotta do like mob boss Yeah it's real Or like rich guy I gotta like hey rezone the area Get these poor people out of their homes But when the cigar is like below half Then you gotta start going like

Sabretooth Sure Raja brought tornado claw Yeah Kind of, like, crunched up boxing corner gal. You're not going to make it. Something like that, yeah. Definitely does have stages to the cigar.

Yeah, tell it, kid. Do you keep cigars at the house, or how often do you have in one, do you think? Nah, very rarely. If I go to, like, Vegas and wear a casino floor. It's a dirtbag thing, but you feel like you need to smoke one in vet. It's like... Because you can smoke it indoors. I get it, yeah, but...

I would smoke one at home, but I'm like, I've got to go outside. I'm not going to do all that. I don't... Lazyness got me to stop smoking weed, because I'm like... You're going to go on. or not smoking weed? I don't want to go all the way outside just to smoke.

Because you couldn't smoke in the house? Yeah, I mean, I don't want to do that to the house either. Sure. Like I, he might be classic. Cigars in Vegas. You get there.

You guys. He's getting there. And I don't even put any of the car stuff as non-classy. I like all that. Like, I think, you know, that's how you grew up. You have that, you know,

you have that, to be fair. That's not, that's not classy. I'm pretty sure he's working on all these in his front yard. No. Yeah, but he has like a private.

Yeah, he has that garage. Yeah, he's breaking his balls, relax. I'll rezone you. I will, to discredit my own self, I will admit, I think last time I was here, maybe the first time I was here I talked about a couple of cars that I bought that were, like, very low mileage. And, like, I had an Impala with, like, 1800 miles on it. I have less of that now.

And I have just more Facebook marketplace projects. Yeah, you're buying. You did have a couple of somewhat unique. I had, like, some valuable shit. Like, it was like, oh, it's never been driven. Now, what happened to those? They're not fun. Oh.

They only keep their value if you don't drive them, you know. Right. Oh, that's pretty. So you got rid of them. Yeah. Now I feel like a beaters. Yeah. Now I don't want to buy a car unless it's like shit.

How many you think you got? Yeah. How many cars I have? Like 11, 12. How many could you drive right now? Four? Okay. How many out of those four?

how many are insured and inspected and registered? One. Out of those. How many does your son like? Oh, wow. So you have the two, that would be like if you just had normal cars would be your cars, the two that you mentioned, the two that, that, that. Nah, I have, so like the one that's the most reliable car, it's insured, it's also probably my most expensive car, is the, the GTR, it's an R35. That's like my, what's that go for?

This year says the most expensive Probably like 120 grand It's older though Right It's a new car It's a 2024 A 20 say it

Say it again What kind of cars is it Uh Nissan GTR R 35 GTR Yeah I wouldn't even know what that looks like Oh it looks like

Pull it up It looks fucking kick ass Does I picture them all old Like late models Nah the other cars are Pretty older It's that car And then everything else

Is just like Can I see it Before like 90 You don't have your contacts in. Okay, yeah. You can be in it and not see it. Yeah. What am I contacts in?

That's like a civic-looking car. Like a Honda-sick, you're going to like that. So that's nice. So you can go anywhere with that. I'm going to walk out of your podcast. That's a normal car. That's a normal, nice car. Yeah.

Gotcha. Okay. And then so you don't want to waste money. I wonder why your son doesn't want to be in that thing. No, I'm fucking with it. Wait, that's the one he doesn't want to be in? No, he don't want to go in there sometimes. What?

Yeah. That's crazy. Because it's not loud. He says it doesn't make any noise He's got a stun on these pussies at the mall Yeah Yeah, let him know But he should know that people that know

No, that's That's what I tell him Yeah So I started calling it the Batmobile He kind of likes it sometimes He likes muscle He likes cars that like Really?

He also likes Lamborghinis He says I should buy a Lamborghini Is that ever in the cards? I mean maybe one day But I feel like If I was going to buy a Lamborghini It was either going to be that of the GTR, I don't, I don't think I could afford to buy both, you know what I mean?

My son was like, you need to make more money. This kid is tough. Stop with those whack-ass jokes and get out there. Start cutting hair again. He says I should trade in the GTR for a Lamborghini, but that's blasphemy. Do you have anybody? Six-year-old, I got a lot to say. I like this kid.

The kid's wise beyond his years. Cone the shots. He's stressing me out. Driving you to drink. Do you have anybody, you have somebody, you have a business manager or an accountant or somebody overseeing funds, right? Yeah. Okay.

The guy's angry. Nah, I'm doing better this year, though. What was spending? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm making less money, but I'm spending less. Okay. Welcome to Planet Barbosa, everybody.

Yeah. I'm making less money, but I'm spending less. Man. Put that on my headstone. Woo! My man. There you go. Life ticket tells you now.

Glad it only me. I like it. Yeah, but it's talking about trade coffee. Oh, trade them up. Now, we are what we call over here at Tootty's a cold brew family. We're a coffee crew or a well caffeinated squad. And I wasn't aware that you could have beans specifically roasted for cold brew. I know.

Thank God there's trade coffee to tell me that. They wire you up. They wire you up. They'll send it right to your door. And they'll also give you the gear to make the best cold brew that you're ever going to have. We had it. Let me tell you something. Those other people that we usually go to.

I'm not going to mention any names. They're going to be out of business. Trade coffee is taking over. Yeah, when it arrives, you just scoop it into a pitcher with enough water. You stored in the fridge overnight. Wake up and something that tastes as delicious as your favorite coffee shop. It is that easy. Cut out the middle, man.

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to get 20% off, baby, your future self will thank you to do it. My next tour has seven cities on it and my fans were kind of upset. They were commenting stuff.

They were like, this is not a tour, it's a pit stop. I'm like, I'm tired, man. You've been working for like five years straight. I got fucking eight, six cars that don't run

that they're focused on. I got my kid breaking my dad. I got one insurance policy for 11 cars. I got to spend some time at home. Sure. Okay, that's good. So you're taking a little bit of a break?

Yeah. Okay. I got seven shows from here until the end of the year. Okay. Yeah. I might add some here and there. Yeah. But for the most part, I just...

You know what you do that I see? I don't know if it's strategic or just whatever, but it's all, it's very cool. Sex tapes. Keep coming back, baby. I do those all the time. Okay. It is intentional. you'll do the pop-ups at like zany or wherever you're and you'll do like

hey i'm doing a show this weekend at so-and-so yeah i'll just i'll be having fun in that city that's that's really cool yeah i like yeah chicago we do it a lot of chicago or like houston california a lot would just be like you know what fuck it let's just add a show here or um like last time we were in uh san francisco and we're like man we're close enough to sack let's just add a show and sack and then we ended up doing like four or five shows. Damn. Who's fun?

That's good. All right. It also reminded me. One thing, you were, somebody critiqued something and then you publicly started shitting on them, which I called them gay. Yeah, which I respect. What happened?

Somebody, somebody shit, I forget what it was. Somebody had a critique, and then he took it public. He sent me, like, a long fucking paragraph. I just thought it'd be funny that he wrote all this stuff, and I just wrote back, you're gay. But the thing is, like, it just bothered me because, one, he was complaining that I, that I didn't do enough time, and that he thought I was headlining the show. Oh, was it your son? And it's like, all right, one, I was never billed as the headliner.

There's me and my buddy, Renee, were co-headlining. Which is a really cool-looking tour. Yeah, it was fun. Great. Yeah, we were just out there acting Buck Wild, man. And two, he was saying that. like Renee and that our other comedians

on the show were not like worthy of performing in theaters that they're more like club, whatever. Who the fuck's this guy? That's what I'm saying. Hey, yes, motherfucker. And he's like, you should have done more time and like all this stuff. And like, I just want to see you perform. He's like, then he was mad because I didn't stick to my material

because I did, uh, he said I did like three or four jokes and then just started doing crowdwork. And it's just like, what the fuck? What the fuck kind of show? Picking you import. Get off my back, buddy. Also, I hated the shirt you were wearing.

They didn't like the new haircut. He's like, you need to buy a new black shirt. Your black shirt was faded. It was charcoal at the least. But it's just like, bro, like, you know. That's wild. Doing comedy, like, and I know it's not a crazy long time compared to a lot of comics.

But at this point, I've been doing comedy like 9, 10 years. Sometimes I get a little tired of hearing my own jokes. Sometimes I just want to fuck with the, having fun yeah and the audience for the most part was liking it like we got a lot of good reviews like messages and comments and stuff about the shows after and uh that's great though but yeah just one guy they said yeah dude but it's like how you're gonna tell me that my friends are not worthy of not even opening the fucking show like he's talking about he's that guy would have just complained about anything yeah that's what like we've learned to it's just like they're

gonna say something if it's the color of the lights the backdrop what they're gonna say something Yeah, all my shows aren't going to, like, be the best, but I think that show was actually really good. I thought I was killing. The fuck, this guy's problem. All my shows. I did three bits, and then I ripped for 25 minutes. I was cooking. You know, I broke my toe the night before that show, and I went to the hospital in Philly.

So I think that guy complained about that. It was my fault. I kicked my friend. Did you break your toe? You probably broke your toe? Nah, I mean, it's not like broken It's like purple still, but whatever Anyway

Sounds worse than broken I got a purple He's gonna fall off Yeah I what happened was In Philly I kicked my friend And then he threw a knee at the same time And my toe went right into the knee

So we go to the ER in Philly At like Penn State or something You pen Penn State No, you Penn It was you Penn It was the worst hospital in the world

University of Pennsylvania? That's the best hospital in Philadelphia. You should try you. I swear to God. Well, I'm saying that as that's how bad some of the hospitals are. It's crazy. I don't know how anybody survives anything in Pennsylvania because I'm not making this up. I'm not making this up.

We're in the waiting room and one of the nurses comes out to like, you know, call the next patient. And as she's calling the next patient, there's one lady's complaining. She's like, please, like, I've been waiting here for a long-ass time. And the nurse looks at her and goes, shut the hell up. I was like, I'm not. My toe is gone, bro. You're in there with a fucking, with a boo-boo on your toe? You're my dear.

Unless you've been stabbed. You do not go to a Philadelphia emergency room. Right. So they take me to the back and the dude's like, slap you around them. Break your other toe? He's like, we'll check. You know, we're going to x-ray you. And I'm like, all right.

So they take me to the back and they're like, put your chest. up against the thing and I'm like oh but it's it's for my toe and the dude's like no it's not what the fuck man no it's not it's for not having heart you oh bitch get the fuck back out there man we're there first we're gonna do is take a look at your vagina we're at that fucking hospital for like five hours yeah you never well I just never yeah I just I just left and the next day you know that's that that The next show was, like, in Washington. So I'm, like, limping on stage.

And I'm supposed to do, like, half an hour. And Renee does half an hour. And I was like, bro, I'm going to do, like, 25 minutes. And I'm just going to bitch out early because I can't fucking stand up. There you go. That's all right. And this guy messages me after the show. Man, you fucking...

The first one, you're trying to take a couple of minutes. I got a purple fucking toe dropping this shit on me. Yeah, that's crazy. Well, the good news is that it doesn't... Sometimes when you break your toe, they can't do anything for it anyway. Oh, yeah? So it don't matter, yeah. Yeah, and I ended up going to the doctor.

That's from Dr. Foley, too, so that you can take that to the bank. I went to the hospital like a week later. And, no, they told me it wasn't broken. They said, they said I was fine. They said, um, what is it? I don't know. They were like, you're going to be all right. She, you'll be right.

But then I. She! But then they were like, uh. That's a Houston ER. But then they were like, when? Take some lean and call me in the morning. They were like, when did this is it? happened and I was like a week ago and they were like oh they're like nah let's x-ray it

but then they're like nah it's not broken that was good long story short I was fine I give you a little tip next time I'm if you're ever in the ER in Philadelphia the thing you got to do is you got to say I'm I feel like I'm gonna pass out that's the first thing you say no matter what it is you say I think I'm gonna pass out because they don't want the responsibility of you passing out in the in the waiting room buddy next time I go to a fucking ER in Philly I'm taking the gun just being like I'm gonna fucking shoot myself you don't let me in right now John Q this thing. Someone look at my boo-boo.

Somebody get to splinter out of me quicker. I'm going to kill myself. That's good. Okay. Have you ever worn a watch that didn't work? For style purposes. So this is like classy and trashy at the same time. I don't think it probably is going to be, but go ahead.

I wore a real Rolex. Okay. But I didn't know how to set it, so the time was just off. But I'm like, hey, it's a Rolex. So who's the fuck what time it is. He's told somebody at... It's money time, bitch. That's the time it is in Morocco or something like that.

Yeah, I was traveling. Had it on my Europe time. Yeah, there you go. The Europe time. You called it Europe time. I forgot the sun was out. Okay. Do you own a Rolex?

I do, but my uncle gave it to me. I didn't buy it. Gotcha. Sometimes I want to buy one, but I'm like, man, I don't have a... I know I'm not going to check the time on it enough to feel like it was worth the investment. Right. I'm going to pull out. I'm going to wear it.

I'm going to still pull out my phone to check the time. So I'm like, nah, I bet you're not. He's a watch guy. He wears watches a lot. Nice watches. I have one nice one,

like kind of nice. I have two. One was given to me as a gift. For me? No. Oh, yeah, smoking tires. Shout to Matt at the broken tire.

One of your competitive YouTube podcasters or car podcasters. And one I bought that. I just, I wear it like, if I'm going out to dinner with my wife or like a wedding or something. If I'm getting dressed up,

only time I'm wearing a watch. Did you worry when your son was born? I did not. He didn't get dressed up. I would have got dressed up. Like I'm getting arrested. I'm running a Tito to my sons, but. Wait, you got a Rolex?

No. No? No. What he says, he says nice watches. We're talking under a thousand dollars. Watch. Yeah. The nicest one I have, I think, is about a thousand bucks.

It's a Hamilton, which isn't a big. I just like them. I like watches. Okay. But I haven't. I'm trying to get more into watches. Yeah, I wouldn't buy a Rolex or anything like that now. They're crazy.

They're crazy expensive. Yeah. I keep, I keep blowing everything. I know this is, like, sleazy, but I just think to myself, like, if I wore this watch at a nightclub, would a woman, like, notice it that it's nice or not? A little bit. Yeah, a Rolex, yeah. But I think they're getting water down a little bit, wouldn't you say? I feel like it has to be a little shiny.

Like, but then they don't really make a whole lot of Rolexes with diamonds, and if they do it. You've got to change the expense. Yeah, it's too much. You need a paddock is what you need. You want to get some checks. What I need is like a giant chain. Like I have one, but I need a, like a ridiculously, like I spend a million dollars on something. But I need to make like 30 million to justify it.

So if anybody. Well, seven tour dates will get you there. No, my YouTube channel will subscribe to Formula Bean. So I can make $30 million. I heard most of the time those guys. wear that stuff it's all fake case they get robbed that's what we should be done we start wearing a fake shit I know my little fucking difference one of my buddies um he's Mexican OT no I don't know I love that guy that guy's fucking he's in the

he's in the ring with the bulls and shit that guy has to be wearing real jewelry yeah I've seen his jewelry he's so like I think I don't know if it's like to show the jewelry over he just thinks it's funny but like we'll we'll be sitting there and it's like some duck the goose like he'll just walk up to somebody randomly and put his jewelry on them. And that person would just wear it, like, whatever the fuck. Damn. My buddy Jaime will start impersonating OT when he has it.

But I don't know. It's funny. But yeah, my drug dealer friend, Gary. His name rhymes with, uh, he told me he would wear, uh, he's in jail. He told me he would wear fake jewelry to the club because he was just always like being looked at. Of course. Yeah. Fake gold, fake diamonds, all that stuff

He said he has like real jewelry, but he would never wear it out to like bars And then what happens But then you get robbed for the fake stuff And then it's like all for not No, here's the thing I'd say you're with a lady All right, you got the fake stuff on You're looking cool, did some bottle service

Cool guy, yeah Had a nice dinner Some coconut shrimp, whatever I don't think people are putting their fucking Million dollar chain on going to get coconut shrimp And then going to the club You don't have the million dollars stuff When you got the fake stuff

Fucking wear a million dollar stuff to Chili Yeah, what's the fuck? Dude, the two-for-20 deal? Still with a coupon. So then you come out of the club, you're what you... That's just what you do? It's what happens.

You come out of the clubs, you got like five girls with you. All right, you got all the jewelry on. All of a sudden, they roll up on you. The ops. Come get you. Got them going crazy. They come get you.

And you're just casually, yeah, man, don't worry about it. You just take it off real smooth. He looks so cool in front of the girls, you know. Yeah, but they don't you get pitched out in front of the girls? Nah. Why are you pitched out in front of the girls? You, you got a...

What do you mean? You just got fucking robbed. So what? One of the girls are gonna get after you? Why did you give them your chains? Yeah. They're gonna go blow those guys. They got the chains enter the top.

No, you're gonna be calm. Listen, I wasn't worth it. I wanted to make you ladies were safe. It's only money. It doesn't matter. What's five million? He's a pimp. You see that?

What's five million? That was so cool. That's how much jewelry had on. That's how much jewelry here. Then you get home and you get to make out with all of them because they think that you save their life. This is how you do you. I should.

I'll say that later. I'm going to walk you through this. Heter Ralph leaves. The real player move is like while he's getting robbed while he's ending the chains, and when you got to listen to see if one of the girls like screams or does anything, and you go, hey, hey, it's going to be all right.

That's pretty good. That just made me feel safe. It's only money. Don't worry about it. Yeah. As they know you're out numbered, it's not like it's one-on-one. Yeah.

I'm talking they pulled up heavy. And then on the right home, you say something. They're like, oh, my God, your jewelry, you're like, I'll buy more. Yeah. Buy more. Man. I'm trying to find some holes in that story.

Right? That's pretty good. And then the dudes are going to get back to the house. Be like, fuck. It's all shit. And we got no bitches. And you got no bitches. Meanwhile, I'm back at the house getting my dick wet.

Tommy full of mozzarella sticks. Knee deep in it. And I got more fake shit at the house. If I had real jewelry and I was getting robbed, I would freak out. I'd freak out. I start throwing up my coconut shrimp all over the damn place. Come on, man. I just bought this.

Yeah, fuck that Be doing the bottom lifting You know You're all scared See, then you're not getting any pussy Yeah You start to know Trust me

I've been there Learn a few things Sit on young male That hair's gonna grow back in eventually My boy's an engineer He'll fix that hair for you Dude you gotta I'm not happy about it

I'm not listening I'm not happy about it Here's the thing Do you have clippers Not on me Man I should have brought my backpack i have like the edgers at least i could have knocked off those he it's real easy he just got when you get home he was on perks and he had a rusty had a rusty what do you

a rusty razor have a couple of lucys floating around in the back there probably dude this happened last night i went home and i'm here i'll respectfully just sit sit still you touch my neck i'm going to kiss you what are you going to pull it i'm not i'm not going to touch your neck i'm just going to show you the problem with your neck ha ha ha Yeah. Ah, shit. You have a landing strip. Man, I can't be out in the fucking club with you like this.

Paying enough I got a fake jewelry on. Be getting rolled on. No bitches. Nah, girls diggy. They like rub it. Giffy's hair's fucking up, Mikey. Scared away all the broads. Why don't you have a landing strip back there?

Yeah. Man, this guy fucked me up, dude. Damn. Nah, bro. I didn't realize it. This is what happened. You have a kid and you just stopped caring. I don't have the energy to care.

That's a dad cut. It's a dad cut. It's a dad cut. I don't even fucking get haircuts no more. He's touching his quaffed there all perfect. I put up, bro, my hair doesn't go back easily. This is like a gallon of hair gel. What's it do normally?

Just fall forward? Yeah, it's like. That's got a, that's pretty, because your hair is pretty long. Yeah. You can train it to do that. You got to have the shower every night. Brush it back like 100 times. Okay.

Yeah. I don't have the paper. for that. I'm sure you do. It takes two minutes. No. Hey, you want to make it in Hollywood? I got to fucking straighten the two of you out.

Hollywood. I got a YouTube channel now, baby. Independent artists. 300K off the rim. What did he have before that? 380K. Ralph lost him 80,000 subs. This guy was talking about rockets and shit.

True, yeah. No, I think he was already. close to that whatever we have put him over the top yeah uh man all right i got we got two we got two car related questions here for you okay we got to wrap it up is um have any of your cars i've seen it too uh where the driver's side window doesn't work you're at the drive through have you ever had to like open the door or go through the the back window um back back in the day uh had that problem a lot and then i realized that changing out like the window motor or like the regulator is like super easy so i don't have that you can do that

yeah that's so simple but what i do have a problem with is um my 1990 nissons skyline r32 is one of like in my top three favorites sounds like a calculator it's on the other the driver the steering wheel is on the right side what why yeah um it's japanese japanese yeah japanese drive on the other side of route too mm-hmm damn Yeah, they're doing crazy stuff out there. That's how we straightened them out? Really? They fell in line.

That's a fucking slap in the face. No way. I respect it. My, so if I go to buy anything from the drive-thru, I make sure my son comes with me so that. Wait, you'll take that in the drive-thru. Yeah. That's got to fuck someone up. You ever get pulled over just for that?

I drive that one more often than the other cars, actually. You ever get pulled over just for that? If I was a cop, I'd pull you over if I saw the wheel on the wrong side. Yeah. Just for, just for like, what the fuck you think this is? What year do you think it is, dude? You ain't from around here, he's your boy. Hello.

Now, but my son will pay for the food and, like, collect the food. That's pretty cute. I like that. Damn, it's on the other side. I love that car. Huh. All right, this one's from turning to blowfish. How long is too long to ride around?

If you get a new car. Now, obviously, you're well-versed in, you know, 1990s beaters for some reason. That's what you like. But how long is too long to keep the new sales sticker on the window of the, the car oh wait like you know how they have it in the back what it's like it's 27 miles it'll be on the back passenger not the thing in the window dude i've never who's doing this yeah you take that's not like a sticker on a hat yeah get that shit off yeah i tell that's not my question what the fuck oh and i bought my car at the table i don't know what you've been taking it this

is buddy uh i want to know i want to meet this guy i've never heard of anybody doing that i mean who knows you guys are out in the car club with fake jewelry. This guy's at least got a new fucking car. He's got to flash that. I got to learn from this guy. If it's a used car and it says like 2,700 and like the bubble letter stickers. You had a one in front of that. Flex hard.

That's how you do it. The juice up to price. The fake jewelry. If I had known... A million dollar Toyota. If I had known to keep the damn sticker on the car thing, I would have done that to my car. How long is too long? I don't think there is a too long. See? He's coming around

as long as the car is washed. Kick that on there. Let everybody know you just fucking bought a new car. That's pretty good. It'll be five years old. To keep it new. I still have the dealer thing on the my license plate because my license plate hasn't come yet. It's been like 70

days. It's almost 60. I'll tell you're going to say it's been like seven years. Still waiting. Brand new! Oh, man. Yeah, that's it. And then have you, do any of your cars not have a radio that you would use a Bluetooth

two speaker in to play music. See, I like half of them. I bought a, man, I love this car, but it has no radio. It has no speedometer. I don't know how fast I'm going. Thankfully, the only one that really matters to me is the gauge that shows you the temperature. Sure. So I just, I know I'm not.

Not going to blow up. I bought a 1973 Plymouth Barracuda, and they wrecked into the dude's front end. And shout out to Krusty Classics Garage. That guy, that guy has a cool channel. He does a lot of work from home. But he has a place he goes to work too, all right? I just want to know. Where are you driving the car?

Where do you drive a car like that? You're just taking out on a Sunday? Yeah, I'll go wherever, go to Walmart and stuff. But I drove it home. He changed out the suspension for like a more modern day, something stiffer, you know. And he put an L.S. in it. It can get up a little bit. It's not too fast.

I'm driving it home. It's like I bought it from them. It's like two hours from where I live. And I get on the highway. I'm like in the last 20 minutes of the drive. And this fucking Camry's going nuts. So I'm like, bro, I got to show this guy up. I got like, I think it'd be kind of fun for this guy to see this car.

To smoke. It doesn't look fast. And then like, you know, it has a power. That's a thing with guys in fast car that they don't look fast, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like to have a fast car that doesn't appear to be fast. This car is pretty beat up, but mechanically, it's very sound.

But, I mean, suspension-wise, I almost crack. I almost fucking spun out because I'm going like a hundred-something. I'm assuming, I don't know, there's no... I was doing 95 degrees at the time. And it started to get kind of scary. Like, even though it had, like, a modern-day suspension, I think it had, like, a Q-A-1, I don't know. But it was still like, oh, shit. Like, the front end was so light.

I guess it couldn't really handle, like, that... I don't know. That torque. maybe that's something always in the back of your head when you're out driving around if someone isn't in like that kind of car that looks like they want to fuck around there's that little friendly tension of you want to see what's up do you want to see what's yeah like especially if it's something that looks slow do you always bite or do you ever are you ever just like nah nah no no it's a nice car though by my son's with me I won't

of course you know I mean but other than that yeah fuck you why not show that show that fucking Ultima, who's boss? Yeah, I love my, like, that's why I love my Chevy SS. It looks like a fucking Malibu. It looks like a mom car, you know? But it's pretty fucking strong. And so a lot of times when we're just driving and I'm not flooring it, you can't even hear it because you're on the highway.

So somebody might be like hauling ass. And they're not like calling me out or nothing, but I'm like, well, I should just fucking. So they kind of get close to you and you need. Yeah, I'll start fucking with them. And if they take the bait, then it's cool to, like, see them, does that face like, what the fuck? Like, that thing's keeping up. That old lady's killing it.

I love those moments All right Ralph Barbosa ladies and gentlemen Brand new special on Hulu Planet Bosa Did not redeem himself

Did not For those of you wondering Why I called it Planet Bosa It's kind of like a Dragon Ball Z reference They got Too old

All the sayings come from Planet Vegeta So I just I don't know I thought it sounded cool I like it Because I feel like you do your own thing And you're in your own world

And Yeah yeah We love it It's all about me anyway It's not a whole lot of observational humor Planoosa out on Hulu right now Do yourself a favor, gang, check it out Ralph, we love you very much

Thank you so much for coming in Still trash? Yes, very much I think he made it worse somehow Check out to tour dates He said he's on tour this fall Go see him, you got seven chances Butterweiser give me money

I drank this whole thing Gibby, what do you got for? Guys, our tour starts up in September Get them tickets Are You Garbage.com We love you. Gang, we love you, we'll see you next week Peace.