Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ralph Sutton: Creepy Class

Episode Date: October 1, 2020

Kippy and Foley are back and are put through the ringer with podcast host Ralph Sutton. Ralph was adamant he is not garbage and the boys tried to get him. Ralph talks growing up with a little cash in NYC and the music business. You know Ralph Sutton from The SDR Show with Big Jay Oakerson. Originally Aired on www.GasdigitalNetwork.com on September 29th, 2020 Support our Sponsors: https://yokratom.com For a 60$ Kilo Today! Sign up for Gas Digital: www.GasdigitalNetwork.com - Promo code: AYG Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy. Just wanna thank you for tuning in to R U Garbage. Yeah guys, make sure you subscribe. That way you get the episode as they come out and you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com, use promo code AYG to get bonus content and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming. Do it.

Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Woo, baby. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.

This is R U Garbage, the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians to find out if they grew up classy or if they're absolute trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a rainy day here in New York City in the East Village in the big studio here at Gas Digital Network. I wanna thank everybody personally for coming out to the live show at the punchline

of Philadelphia, especially our special guest, Mr. Mike Rainey and Mr. Shane Gillis. It was a hot one gang. It is up. It is live. It is on YouTube. It is on iTunes. Please check it out.

We appreciate all the love and support for you guys. And if you were the garage fridge contest winner and a couple of people who are waiting on t-shirts, I promise you they are in the works. Do not worry, we'll have them there. But that's neither here nor there. Co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He's a good kid.

He's the brains behind the operation. He put the whole thing together. He cooks the books. He crosses the T's. He dots the I's. He keeps the IRS at bay. Ladies and gentlemen, the next time you're reaching for a best pal,

do yourself a favor. You make it a kippy. Give it up for the one, the only. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What's up everybody? Your intros are getting longer and longer. Jesus Christ. What's up everybody?

Thanks so much for tuning in. As always, we appreciate it so much. Make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. We are currently in the top 200. Let's fucking keep us there and break 100. You know what I mean? Let's do it. Couple of bucks in our pocket.

Always, you can always go to YouTube, full video available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well. And if you want the whole library of the show, you can go to gasdigitalnetwork.com. I'm nervous in front of the boss. Gasdigitalnetwork.com, use promo code AYG. We get to wet our beak.

You get to save a couple of bucks. We make a couple of bucks. It's a win-win. We appreciate it. It's the end of the month. We got our evaluations coming up. I know. Dude, I feel like I'm in the principal's office.

What the fuck? Gang, we have an incredibly special guest with us here today. You know him. You love him. He is the host of Good Sugar. He is also the host of Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll and the owner of Gasdigital Network. But the big question in everybody's mind today,

is he garbage? He says he's not. He staunchly says he's not. He says that we are going to be stunned about how ungarbage he is. Normally, you know, we like to keep it light here. But when somebody starts shooting it off at the mouth a little bit.

I take it as a personal fucking challenge. We do a little digging. I've been staking at this guy's apartment for the last 38 hours and it ain't good. I'll tell you that right now. Ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor. Give me a big round of applause. He's a fucking tall drink of water.

He's a good looking dude. I assume he's got a fucking big old hog on him. I have to guess. Wouldn't mind getting some fucking confirmation on that. It's behind the paywall. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one, the only Mr. Ralph Sutton, everybody.

Thank you so much. I want to clarify though, while I do think I'm not garbage, I do think I'm a creep. Those are two different things. Well, no, I think it's a fucking case open and shut on you being a creep. I'm a creep.

I don't think I'm garbage, but I definitely think I'm a creep. Well, we're going to find out. What is the origin story of Ralph Sutton? About as far as did he grow up? Did you come from a little bit of cash? I feel like you might have. I sort of did.

Born in Brooklyn. Okay. I have a twin brother. Okay. How do we know you're the real Ralph Sutton? That's what I want to know. I can have the fucking, I can have the twin on my hands.

I don't know what's happening. I'm six, five, he's five, seven. We would not confuse us. Oh man. Talk about the short end of this. Yeah, talk about looking at a better you every fucking day. That's a tough one. He's actually better looking to be honest,

but I'm just much bigger. I was born New Year's Eve. He was born New Year's Day, where twins born in different decades. Very weird side story. I was born in 69 and 70 and 50. Parents got divorced when I was five. Okay.

My father got remarried a few years later and stayed married to that woman till he passed a few years ago. Okay. My mother moved to Florida and she got married at 70 to a man in his fifties. And they're still together. They've been dating for like,

I think they were dating for several years and now they've been married for a few years. That's pretty weird. Oh, that's check number one. I don't know if that's trashy. That's weird. That's a weird thing. That's good for us.

I didn't say this that my mom doesn't have money in order to see it. It's not like she married a woman. Sure. Okay. My mom, and this is not a, if you look up my mom online, she's a attractive-

Wait, you can look up your mom online? Yeah. But why? My mom doesn't know how to turn on a computer. Ralph's like, check out my mom's fucking only thing. After my mom did SDR, she would, if you Googled my name, the next thing was that Ralph Sutton mom

was one of the top search things for a while. Wow. She's a pretty woman. You know, she's like a- Yeah, a vibrant, yeah. Still place tennis and still very active. So it's not like, when you think 70, she's not,

I think 74 now, but she's very active. She's still very sociable and stuff. And they've been together 10 years and married for like three or four. What'd your pop do growing up? Well, he was in retail when I was a kid. Sounds shady.

I like it. Retail in Brooklyn. Retail like Jewish retail, you know what they call it? Schmata. Ah, it was your Schmata. Schmata dealer, which means garbage, actually.

Yeah. No shit, but garbage, right? And then he got into real estate and became very successful in real estate. My father and his brother, my uncle, they were business partners and became very successful guys in real estate. That was his main business.

But that was actually the Schmata. That was a very classy, that was like a thing. That was an industry back then. The Schmata? Yeah, for sure. A lot of it was Jewish, especially people that cut fabric

and stuff like that. That's where they're from. My dad's family was from Syria, Syrian Jews. And that's very much the garment industry is Syrian Jews, at least it was. Not so much anymore. I watched a documentary on it. It was like super interesting.

Yeah, it was much, I'm very much that's what I was. Ralph Sutton story, what documentary did you watch? Sorry about my dad. And my mother came from no money at all. But my mom, which is very, I think could tie into how I ended up in this business, she ran comedy club when I was a kid,

comedy like Cabaret show. A club in the city called Upstairs of Green Street. And it was cheaper than a babysitter. I'd be there all the time. So I saw Chris Rock, Ray Romano, Larry David, Gilbert Gottfried, Bill Hicks, all these greats when they were young. And I was 12, 13.

Just hanging out. Going there every week to see shows. It was a great thing to have that part of my life. In fact, Ray Romano did SDR a couple of weeks ago. I just saw that. And that came from me bumping into him at a place in California. And I told him, my mom is Leah Sutton.

And he was, oh shit, I remember your mom, we had the whole conversation. And then I got his assistant's number and he came on the show. That's awesome. He really turned out to be a fantastic actor too. He was great in fucking the Irishman. Yeah, he was fantastic.

And he got vinyl from- He was great in that too. Yeah, he was. It's cool to say he didn't know who he was. Which is crazy to think. That's how fucking rich- I'm checked out. Yeah, of course he is.

He doesn't know who Ray fucking Ray Romano. Ray Romano's got 19 fucking Emmys. Yeah, no kidding. All right, so you, now you said your parents were divorced when you were five. I was like, I barely remember them together. And who did you live with growing up? My mother.

But you saw your dad in all that time. We'd see my dad every weekend. I'd live with my mom Monday to Friday. Friday afternoon, we would get a car service to my dad's house. It's a little bit of cash. And we'd stay with my dad for the weekend and then come back Sunday.

And where was your dad's place? Well, this is where you're gonna start Sunday where... So my dad had a place here in the city. Okay. But he also had a home in Miami and a home in the Hamptons. Wow. Woo.

Yeah. Off the old, that off selling polos. That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty wild. Yeah, he said, no, real estate. Real estate's where he took them to the next level. Yeah, wow.

That's pretty good. House in a Hampton. It was weird. Send the car to go get the kids. Private school? No, well, so I was in private school up until eighth grade, but I didn't wanna go to private school anymore.

I didn't like the sheltered life. So they wanted to put us into a Sephardic Jewish high school and my brother and I demanded to go to a public school. So I went to John Dewey in Coney Island. Oh, wow. Very different. Yeah, I just wanted to have it. I didn't wanna be a sheltered kid.

And when I went to my school of first to eighth grade, I only had 100 kids in the whole school from first to eighth grade. My graduating class was six people and my brother and I were two of them. That's always so weird. I know people that went to school to graduate at like 12. But then high school had 4,000 people.

Yeah, it was a culture shock. What years were you in high school in Coney Island? 87 to 91. Holy shit. Sorry, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 83 to 87, 87.91 is college. 83 to 87, it was when I was in high school. It was not a good place.

Oh, I can imagine. Yeah, I mean, it was definitely when I got. Like the Warriors. Very much. Coney Island was like, the school was kind of like an oasis where it had like a campus and you had to have an idea to get on the ground. Once you walked off the grounds,

it was not a safe place. That's garbage, that's total garbage. Dilling with the new cops. That was garbage by choice though. Yeah, I wanted to mingle. Let's mingle with the poor people. See what the other half is like. My dad got me a car when I graduated,

like right before I graduated, the senior year I got a car, I wouldn't drive it into school. I didn't want people to know I had a got a brand new car. Rabia, what was it? What was the way? Toda Salica. All right.

I just never, didn't want that part of, I got into a very, at 83, in 83, 84, I was really into break dancing. Ah, Jack Blizz. I was in a break dancing movie called Crush Groove. I was, what? You were in Crush Groove? Jay makes fun of me for all the time

because you can't see me in the video, but I could get 10 people in here that were with me that day. We got paid to break dance. That's pretty cool. He's like Leonardo in the departing. He's got two fucking lives. Dropping his Rs on the weekends and shit.

And then I got, which is a crazy story. I got very into the illegal aspect of computers at 15. I was wanted by the FBI for computer hacking. They came to my house. What? Yeah, I was supposed to go to jail. I was supposed to get a, it was probation. And we had to go meet with lawyers

and we got off because we were kids. What were you hacking? So back then there wasn't even an internet yet. You know, it was called BBSs. You would log into one place, only one person could be connected at a time and you'd share information. And we do stupid things like,

make our phone bill $5 a month, change your friends' grades, like things like that. I didn't actually get caught. Somebody else got caught for something else. I don't know what. They rolled on it? And they rolled on my brother and I. Wow.

Forget about it. Where's the fucking loyalty? You know what I mean? I don't even know how that happened, but to this day, I don't know who that was. You're like the Forrest Gump of fucking Coney Island. Jesus Christ. So often Jay will get mad at me on SDR.

He's like, how do I not know the story? I've known you 15 years. And I was like, well, I'm sorry. My life has a lot of colorful stories and yours doesn't because crazy things have happened over my life. Like I was a strip club DJ for 10 years and I DJ for the 9-Eleven Terrorists, which is fucking crazy.

What? Yeah, a lot of weird. On 9-10. On 9-9. Oh, that's what they said. Yeah, they were doing like Coke and shit like that a couple days before. Yeah, crazy.

We're gonna have to dump this. What's going on? Were they good tippers? They were, it was the Saturday before 9-Eleven and it was the team that went to the Pentagon. That left. Yeah, please. All right, take it easy back there.

She got Twitter fingers back there. They said to a girl when she asked what he'd do for a living, she said he was an airline pilot and when he walked out and for the night, he told her, stay out of New York City next week, which is fucking crazy. How come that broad didn't make a fucking phone call? Yeah, well, you think, why would you think anything of that?

You just think it's a lunatic. Yeah, some fucking drunk guy. And how many idiots say crazy things to people? And that's not even that crazy. No, I say it a strip club at 2 a.m. Good night. Tell him you're David Letterman's son. That is fucking crazy.

Tell him I'm in the arena football league. And when did you say, now, this is where I feel like we're gonna get you, all right? The strip club? No, not the strip, the rock and roll stuff. Okay. When did you start getting into the rock and roll and all that kind of stuff?

So I was, as I said, really into hip hop and break dancing from 83 to 87, right? I mean, maybe 86, like around that time, I lived and breathed break dancing. I would practice every day. I've never heard that saying ever in my fucking life. Yeah, I mean, it was crazy. It's all we did.

I'd go to the city and make money. We'd bring linoleum on the train. And we'd make a few hundred dollars each because we were all white kids break dancing. The black and Spanish kids of John Dewey called my brother, myself, and two other white kids the mighty whiteies because we were the only good white break dancers. And that's how we got picked to be in the movie.

But you should have got Crush Groove too. Yeah, exactly. Actually, there's also an album credit for me on break into the woman who sang the theme to break into. It says, thanks to Ralph and Joe Sutton for my break dance lessons on the album. And Jaden believed it. And I found her online and she sent me the album cover

and I could show it on SDR once that that was in there. But so in 87, I started growing my hair long. I literally got a haircut and the guy said, it was a gay guy. And he said, you probably look great with long hair. And 87, you know, rock was everywhere. And I had really short hair at the time. I was like, fuck it, I'll let my hair grow. And longer my hair got, the more I got laid.

So I just started to do that. Such a neanderthal guy. Yeah, 100%. And got very into one of my best friends who loved rock and hated hip hop and R&B for my birthday of 16 or 17 is when there was no CDs. There was just tapes. He made me a collection of tapes of like great rock records

like the first Black Sabbath, the Led Zeppelin, Motley Crue, like a bunch of stuff. And just to hear, just start listening to this. And I remember it was Aerosmith's Dream On and Led Zeppelin's Cashmere that got me into rock and roll around 16. And I became obsessed with rock and roll. This is how we're gonna get them.

Really? Rock and we'll see what happens. And then I started running. I was running nightclubs, like the cool trendy nightclubs at around 17, 18. In the city? In the city. In the city, Palladium, Limelight, or really?

All these, I was the first in-house promoter for Palladium. Damn. And then. Isn't that where Twisted Sister played? There was like a huge thing that they were supposed to play there. I forget. Maybe, I don't remember that then.

I know that, I mean, they played LeMore. They played a lot of other places that I worked at too. So you must have been racking it up with eighties chicks, if you're fucking. Yeah, for sure. Closing a white snake video in his house. Yeah, but then. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.

A lot of white leather. Oh yeah, I can't, I, yeah, I wanted to hear about that. Yeah, so I changed into rock from the dance clubs just because it made sense to me. I started loving rock music more. There were four of us running clubs. Two of us were, I became one of the guys that aligned with the rock guy and we split our company up

and two of us were running the trendy clubs and two of us were running the rock clubs. But the rocks I took off and the two others, which was my brother and my friend Maurice, they stopped the trendy club business and me and my friend Alan sort of running rock clubs of New York. And that's when I worked at LaMoure and Limelight

and all of these like big rock clubs. Sunday nights, rock and roll church. I was the DJ and the in-house promoter, 90, 91, something around that time. My brother, a guy that used to trade with my brother on Wall Street, used to, was a door guy at Limelight. Oh really? That story is also, a guy I don't know has a job.

Phil Fraccazzini, you know a guy named Phil Fraccazzini? What year was it, you know? I have no idea. Cause I was only there for about a year and a half at Limelight, 91. How do you mean 91? Were you sporting leather pants and all that kind of stuff? Never leather pants, but certainly really rock and rolls.

I had hair down in my ass, like really long hair. And I'd wear- I kept getting laid, I kept growing. That's exactly what happened. Dude, I had a fucking, I bought a members only jacket one time when I was like 25. I got laid the night I bought it. I fucking didn't take that thing off for fucking seven months.

Dude, I wore it through the summer. That's a fucking, it's 900 degrees out. I showed the tags on it when I wore it to the bar. Bagged this abroad and I fucking slept in it. Hey, you go with what works, you know what I mean? And back then it was crazy. Cause if you had long hair at a rock club, like really long, you would get laid.

It's just, and at eight, I was 1920, 21, very young. That's, at that time, that's all you needed for that to work, you know? So I remember, and there was a club in Miami called the Button South. And it's like when I had my hair down, I used to wear big hoop, like obnoxious earrings and loud clothing just to be-

You know, like a classy guy. Yeah. Like a classy guy. And- This guy's trash. Come on. Dressed like a Puerto Rican teenage girl. I walk into the club and it's long-

You stupid. Just to dress like Cher. Well, he's 100%. Oh, you know, and anyway, I would get laid like just by walking in. But the thing that I just, it's funny to remind me is that there was no internet really back then. You know, so I would call strip clubs

as far as I worked in a strip club and pretend I was the guitarist, the bass player, because I get fake bass, bass player in a big rock band that was gonna open up for Arrowsmith. But I'd call as the A and R guy from Capitol Records. There was no way to prove it. Sure, yeah, yeah. And I'd just say, oh, my band is coming in tonight.

Can you please take care of them? And me and two of my friends that all had long hair and looked like rock dudes, we'd get free drinks, we'd end up sleeping with dancers, just because they thought we were about to go on tour. That's pretty good. I'll give you that. That's garbage.

That's a go, yeah. It's more creep. That's creep. That's creep scumbag. Yeah. He's already getting defensive. No, I think it's very different. It's very different.

I mean, he's got a fucking scam running. It's a little different. It's a creepy thing. I do a lot of creep, like at 50 years old, if I still want to date young girls, I have to do creepy things. And I understand that. I don't know.

Dude, by the way, when we did, for the listener, we did SDR with him and Big J. And literally we signed into the Zoom and full on, I'm not even in there fully texting me. Dude, get in here. There's chicks got her tits out. I'm like, what the fuck are we signing up for? Yeah, what the fuck was up with that?

She was like reading us questions and showing her butthole and stuff. I'm like, this is fucking crazy. Yeah, we wanted to really throw you guys for a loop. Word on the street is you do pretty well. I do, but it's because of all the creepy things that I do. I've never met somebody so unabashed really creepy. And I realize that.

And it's getting even creepier at the amount is because I'm a creeper. I'm the trash man. Yeah, I realized very early on that as you get, you always play to your strengths. Like Jay, for instance, girls have thrown themselves at him on the show, right? But because Jay needs to feel the self-worth,

he wants them to come see him on stage. And he's ruined, I'd say three times, definite threesome's because he wanted to bring the girl to a comedy club first, sit around for an hour so that he could go on stage. And by that time it's three in the morning. But that's how he gets his confidence. That's how he goes like, you're now in my dojo.

Right, exactly. But you play to your strengths. His strength, his superpower, is being on stage on a comedy club, right? Yeah, he's not great at a wah-wah. You know what I mean? He's a little weak. Trying to get laid with a two footer in your hand.

And so you find out what works for you. And what works for me is doing things that most people think is a little weird. I'm with it. All right, well let's get into a little RU garbage here. Now you say you grew up in Brooklyn, we have some standard questions that we wanna ask you. What street did you grow up on?

Avenue R, which is, it's in an area called, now it's called, God damn it, I forgot the name of this, it's near Sheepshead Bay, it's near, like in that area. But it's in now a very Jewish area. It's called Gravesend. Right, yeah, we know Gravesend. It's become a very Russian area now, but back then it was very, all Syrian Jews,

that's all that lived there, from like Avenue R intent to like Avenue P, all that whole area was just all Jews. So it was a Jewish community? Very much. Not Hasidic, okay. Hasidic is a relatively new thing, kind of spawned up after Israel was formed,

it's not like it's a traditional thing. Hasidic is relatively new. Pretty sharp guy here, I don't know. He knows his stuff. He knows his stuff. Or he could be lying to us, I have no idea. It's true. And what was the name of the grocery store

that your mother would go to? So again, because it was like a very Jewish community, there was like a little grocery store for the community. Schmickles? Like that, I don't know if I had a name. Come on down there, Schmickles-Pickles everybody. I don't even think it had a name, it was like the local grocery store

for those people that lived in the community. And it's funny, because I don't identify as Jewish at all, my mother didn't. Yeah, I didn't even know you were Jewish. Yeah, I don't identify as Jewish. Sutton's the proper last name too. Sutton, my father came from, well my father's first generation,

my grandparents were both Syrian on my father's side, and that was something like Set They Own, and they said it's Sutton now, welcome to America. And that's where that name came from. Set They Own sounds pretty classy too. Does, he might be, the dad had some cash, that's what we're getting at, the dad's got a couple of properties,

dude, if you're sending a car to pick up your kids on the weekend. Listen, I grew up with some cash, my dad picked me up in his fucking Jeep Cherokee, okay? It was weird. There was no car coming to get us, and we had a little bit of scrage. In the, anytime there was like a big break for winter break or spring break for high school,

I went to school, I said in Coney Island, I would go to Florida at my dad's place in Florida, and I would come back tan, and I'd be the only kid in Coney Island with tan. You know, it was weird like, oh, where did you go? It wasn't Dominican or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. All right, I want to know about the house at,

I got two questions. The house in the, your dad's house in the Hamptons, what was that like, big single family home, property? When they first bought it, my father and my uncle bought it together, two bachelors in the early 80s. That's pretty garbage, buying like a single family home and a new home. No, but it was in four bedrooms.

And it was on the beach, so it was definitely, but then it was four party house on the beach for two. Yeah, they were partying. They were partying. They made most of their money after they both got divorced. So now they decided to start really, they bought a, the home in Miami was ridiculous.

It was supposed to be on Miami Vice, but they turned it down, but most of Miami Vice was filmed where I would go on my vacations as a kid. That area was where all the celebrities would be growing up at like 12 or 13. But that's a pretty trashy thing that he just did there about the house in Florida,

bragging that it was supposed to be on Miami Vice. They turned it down. Classy people don't go, hey, my house was supposed to be. Yeah, Donald Johnson did a keep up on my driveway. Real people are dropping Miami Vice about their real estate. Because it was very much like it. Miami-ish house. Miami had neon sculptures and gold lame couches, and it was very 80s.

That was, that was, that was considered classy in the 80s. You know, they, they were featured in a bunch of like, you know, interior design magazines and stuff. We had a jacuzzi on the roof in Miami. They had to fly it up with a helicopter. I mean, it was crazy. That's, but that's my aunt. Miami's different.

That's just what my- What did they sell? He sure was, it wasn't coke. It wasn't, it sure was real estate. They never did any drugs. My father and my- Oh, you guys ever meet my uncle Pablo? That's who he was?

They were- He's in real estate. They also was very, they were very into speed boats. So it sounds like they would, but they just were the only two that were not part of that. I was part of racing speed boats when I was like 12. That's classy. What the fuck?

Both people are classy people. It was crazy. But it was, it was a dichotomy because my mom had no money. So Monday through Friday, I wasn't like living it up. I had, it's funny, I remember I went to dinner with my mom once and my aunt and my cousin. So it was my, you know, my father's brother's kid.

Gotcha. And he went to order, he's two years younger than me. And he went to order lobster and prime rib because that's what he liked when he was 10. And I had to explain to him, no, that's a dad meal. We can't have that with our moms. Our moms can't afford it. We eat those meals with our dad.

We're splitting the caniche. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't eat it anymore. A couple of Hebrew nationals call it a fucking day. Exactly, 100%. Yeah. Did you just, just side question. When you were down in Miami in the 80s,

did you ever partake in any of the local fruits as I would say? As in drugs? Yeah. So I've never done, as part of the shit of SDR was that I'd never done any drugs. Like the only thing I ever did was I smoked pop. I was so focused on break dancing, man.

You didn't do any coke in Miami in the 80s? Nothing, never. Oh, come on. We started doing a drug a year on SDR because I've never done a drug. So once a year, I try a drug on SDR. Okay. And that's the only time I've ever done anything.

But what are you up to now? You're only like six years. I've done five. Yeah, five years, five drugs. This year we kind of skipped because of COVID, you know? But we did an edible, we did mushrooms, Molly that ended up being crystal meth. Awesome.

I'm listening. Bonus. Then we did Molly, and then lastly, which was about a year ago, I did cocaine for the first time ever. And what'd you think? I hated every single one of them. Yeah.

You're past that time. It's not exciting for you. Part of it is the excitement of like, oh, we're doing this crazy thing. When you're like 50 in a studio, it's a little clinical. You're taking it the worst possible way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And also I thought for sure I was gonna potentially die of a heart attack because I'm 50 trying coke for the first time. But my thought was, boy, is this show gonna get popular if I die. Yeah, I'm waiting for him to croak too. Doesn't look that far away. Yeah, he's fucking, he's got his foot in the water.

What did you get on your SATs? I did very good. I got a 1270. Woo! Wow, that's pretty good. Yeah, I did 1270. I've got 700 points more than fully. Yeah, and I didn't do the PSAT.

And I just took the SAT. I actually got, I had a regents, what do they call that? A regents, scholarship? Scholarship, no, not scholarship. Graduated in the top 5% of high school. Like a Rhodes Scholar? No, yeah, it's a different country.

Is it? Yeah. Oh my God. But then my English teacher wanted, was gonna endorse me to go to Princeton. Okay. And my science teacher wanted me to go to, I forget what's college,

but I fell out of my interest in education. Where'd you end up going to college? Just SUNY Albany, because my friend went there and I felt like, I didn't want to, I didn't really believe in school anymore, right? And I didn't want to waste money going to some fancy college when I didn't, I didn't have it in my heart.

So I just decided not to do it. It's smart. You know, it just felt like, it didn't make sense for me. I didn't have a passion for any one of those fields of study, so I didn't do it. Did you smoke cigarettes or anything? Never, no.

I also rarely, even to this day, I never was a big drinker. Rarely drink at all. Like if I have a drink, it's one or two, and that's it. I don't really drink a lot. Man. This guy's like wallpaper dude,

can't get a fucking read on him. Fucking nerd alert over here. Come on. Have you ever owned a pet snake or lizard? No. No. What? Really?

I thought for sure. I picked you was a, have you ever had a pet? Oh yeah. Albino rat in your, no. No, no, no. Only a. I was like rolling on his hands. That's what I figured.

I picture him in a throne in his east village apartment with a rat. Yeah, that's exactly. Like him sitting in leather pants. With a hairless hat. A couple of 19 year old topless girls. Some old videos playing in like a fucking albino python around his neck.

You paint a beautiful picture, but it hasn't happened. Do you have any nipples that are pierced? No, no. I only pierced, I think I have one of my two ears that I got when I was 20. Any tattoos? It's a stupid story.

It's not really a tattoo, but, so I host this thing every year called Ship Rocks, which is a rock cruise. Okay. I did it for like, I don't know, 11 years, something like that. And I realized the last time I did it, which was like two years ago, was I skipped last year.

I was the only guy on the boat without a tattoo and just kind of weird. So as a, as a part of a cop, as a, as a, as a, Hey, Sutton, Sutton doesn't have any ink. Get him. This guy's wired for Sam. Pat this guy down.

So just as a joke on stage, I pulled my pants down and a tattoo artist put a dot on my ass. That's fair. I mean, that's a, that's a gimmick. It's a trick. It was a gimmick for the live event. And I'm like, I'm one of you people now.

And so yes, I have a tattoo, but not really. You can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery now. You know that, right? I don't, yeah, I don't really care about, I don't believe in that anyway. But yes, I cannot be buried in a Jewish cemetery. Hmm. Hmm.

Be over in a Catholic cemetery with the heathens. That's, that's, that's. Very early on, I didn't believe in religion. I got Bar Mitzvahd. Okay. Mazel. I never, I never really believed in religion at all. Here's a big question.

We're both Catholic. We both were communion, which we always got the short end of the stick. I think I got like 200 bucks that I never saw. What'd you pull in for your Bar Mitzvahd, do you remember? A lot. How much? We made a seven grand each, my brother and I.

Mother fucker. Did you get it? Actually get it? Yeah, got it a hundred percent. The Jewish kids always got it. I know. I never fucking got that communion. Patty.

We had a crazy Bar Mitzvahd, where my dad rented a whole, you know, shool, I guess, whatever, like an event space, but we had an arcade there with like 20 video games. Yeah, they go, you guys go all fucking out, man. Yeah, man, I made 950 bucks on mine. That's a lot. I know, but I got 50 of it

and I bought a calculator watch at Clover. By the way, it might have been 7,000 total, maybe not 7,000 each, if I'm being honest, I forget if it's one or both. But still, that's a good chunk of change, especially back in the day. That's a nice, that's fucking, yeah, 80s dollars. Yeah, it was a lot of money.

It was a lot of apples down in Miami with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were cool. Yeah, it was a lot of money. I tell you, that part, that's like, maybe because of, my mom brought in like the, I don't wanna say the education, but like the arts part of it with me,

with seeing all these great comedians and going to see music and taking appreciation for entertainment. And my dad had the business. The guy asked my dad. And like really, it's funny, because I grew up where, I said that dichotomy of money and not money,

I didn't like telling people, oh, my dad came from money. I would hide it in Brooklyn. I didn't want it to be, I was known as the rich kid, but we had a beautiful house because my dad bought that house when we were kids and my mom got it in the divorce.

So we had a really nice home, you know, but. Just throwing rocks to the windows and shit that you fucking, to rub it out. Some of my friends tried to break into my home when I wasn't there, because they wanted to come hang out of my house. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome.

Damn. What about any collection of swords at the house? Nothing like that. The only thing I ever collected was comic books. And I was going to say, I loved comics as a kid. And then I sold them all for years. You're telling me there's no samurai swords

at your house right now. No, no, no. The only other house is these dick chucks that Louis left there when Gast Digital was at the house, which is no chucks with penis tips on the end, but it's not mine. He brought them there. It's a gimmick, it's a bid, I get it.

And they're at the house. Do you rent or own? Do you own this place? I own the last place that my brother and I own together that we got when we were 24 and then sold when we were 39. He moved to Miami and I now rent the place I'm at, which you've been to, but I think you've been there.

Yeah, I haven't been there. Yeah, I think so. But you know, the network started my second bedroom. That's how we get a two bedroom. I still do have that same two bedroom. He's doing all right. We're sitting in his fucking studio right now. Can I turn the air conditioning on by the way, guys?

I'm sweating. Yeah, go for it. Do you, can you go? Oh, Ralph has it. There we go. Yeah, you own the place. You don't know what you want, what do you mean? Ask me, can I turn the air conditioner on at my studio?

It is your show. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it's technically. It all fits in two. Have you ever had jewelry with a skull on it? A ton. Yeah, see? There we go, there we go, there we go.

I was getting fucking nervous for a second here. A ton of jewelry and like. Like what, like a ring? Do you have the big long ring? Big skull ring. Oh, yeah. But again. That's garbage.

It's trash. I don't know if I agree with you. I believe you. Come on, dude. I'll tell you why. It's part of the rock and roll culture, which then you're calling all of rock and roll trash, if that's what it is.

Yes, that's good. I need help. I'm a big rock and roll. A percentage of it. I say Axl Rose or Nikki Six, they're trash. No, but they're, they're lead, they're front men. It's different. No, but so you mimic those guys.

That's trash. Yes. I will say they are fucking garbage. Absolutely. Yeah, Axl Rose is trash. I disagree. You guy that sold millions of records and money is a bad guy.

But not just that, but because of his lyrics. Has he been like, he's like peed on it and spit on audience members? I don't know. I think so. But his lyrics spoke to so many millions of people that doesn't. Yeah, cause most people are trash.

I'm not saying he's not a great musician. Oh, he's fantastic. I went to see him live. He didn't show and fill in like the reunion tour. He didn't show. He didn't show. Oh yeah. Tour the place down.

Dude, they started, we waited for like three hours and everybody's like, he's not coming, he's not coming. And then a sound guy came out and started like breaking down like the equipment and dude, Philly is so true. Dude, fucking folding chairs just blocked out the sun. Just came flying up on the stage. I'm name dropping just cause this is related to that story. I was friendly for a while with the other band

that was Guns N' Roses. So the guitarist's name is Bumblefoot and he was in the band for like 12 years. He did that last album. Okay. I was friends with him. He's done SDR a couple of times, but I went to go see them and I'm like,

dude, can you just text me when he's there? I don't want to sit in the, so like he would tell you, he'd say, all right, come over cause it was in the city. It was only five minutes from my house. So it was like two and a half hours later. Right. He said, I would leave now. And I got there just as Guns was coming on.

Yeah, they were notorious for that. No one, a guy named Bumblefoot. Yeah. Well, his name's Ron, but it's my name as well. Gang, I don't think there's any better way to celebrate your freedom than going to yocreatom.com and getting yourself a $60 kilo. That's the world's best value in Kratom.

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Nothing. I'm gonna be fucking Billy Bob Thornton. Have you ever had a ring back tone on your cell phone? Please wait while your party is reached. Never. Yeah, those cost money. Okay. I never did that.

Do you get cash back when you make purchases? No. Wow. This guy's kind of bullied. You got him on the skull ring. We got him. We got him. Just relax.

Skull ring does not a garbage make, I have to say. Yes it is. It's trash. Dude, what? We've set the rules here, buddy. Dude, there's no senators going to fucking Congress with fucking skull rings. He's hanging on with fucking Bumble Knuckles.

No CEO is going into a board meeting taking off his dragon necklace. Here's the question though. I would not wear a skull ring if I was going to a meeting or something, if I'm going on a date or I wanna go to a rock club, I would put the skull ring on. Sure. If I'm going to meet at a business meeting

or I'm not saying, well, fuck this, I'm putting on my skull ring. Sure. I understand. I'm just staunchly saying it's a go, I mean, come on. I'm gonna argue that one. Did you ever paint your fingernails black? My ex-girlfriend did.

Yes. Okay, that's fair enough. She had painted my toes and my fingers once or twice. Have you ever made love to a woman who wore a bandana? I'm sure, I mean, while we're having sex or that she wore it like, and then we went. Sure, either way. I'm sure.

I'm sure that not during sex that's sticking out of my mind but I'm sure there was girls that wore bandanas and I ended up fucking them afterwards. Do you own a Kamasutra book? No. Do you use any exotic oils in your love-making? What are you, what are you getting turned on over here? No, I do have a massage oil that's a massage girl

or if you want some massage for me but it's in my, you know, underneath my bed. If a girl wants to, I say, all right, let's use this. Okay. All right, see. But it's like a coconut oil thing that's not gonna get too greasy. There's a methodology.

I don't want it in my sheets, you know what I mean? Does that make sense? Yeah, of course. Nothing worse than when you see oil stains or whatever. So it's a special oil that will not, will dissipate if you watch it. What about a fish tank? No, any fish?

Never had any fish. I had one cat growing up and the cat passed away when I was like 17 and I've not had another animal, but... Did you kill that cat? No, I did not. Damn. But I take care of a lot of my friends animals

when they go away because I do love animals. So I have a friend that has a couple of cats and a couple of dogs and another friend that has a dog and when they go away, I take care of their animals, I like animals. When was the last you made at McDonald's? I've never had a McDonald's hamburger. Jesus Christ, this guy.

But I did used to like the chicken sandwich. I haven't had it in probably 30 years. Okay. Are you a vegan? No, but I try to bring in, my other show Good Sugar has made me realize how much more... Oh, I get it, Good Sugar.

Gotcha. Yeah, that how important it is to eat more vegetables and fruit. Okay, have you ever bought pre-cut denim jeans? Pre-cut, what do you mean by that? Like with like holes or rips in them already? Oh, I'd like to look like they were worn. Yeah.

Yeah, probably. Yeah, part of the 80s though. I mean, the 80s, that was fucking everywhere. Have you ever had a denim vest? No. Then I had a leather vest, but it was given to me when I was on Queer Eye. I didn't buy it, they gave it to me.

Okay, that's fair. That's fair. You were on Queer Eye for the straight guy? Yeah, in fact, I'm going out. Wait, were you like the straight guy? That's what I meant. I meant the main contestant. I'm going back out there,

I'm going Thursday to film a reunion special with them. They just asked me to come out there. We were going out first. I did it 16 years ago and flying out on Thursday to be part of the reunion. Anyone in your family ever interviewed on the local news? My dad for real estate. That's fair enough.

He wasn't just like guy on the street. Yeah, and my mom won. And then they came out running and I'm fucking. And my mom wants for something about entertainment and comedy. Okay, that's fair. Yeah, they were learned people speaking about something. Right, there weren't some lunatic

that was screaming bababooie or something. No. Hahaha. Do you or any member of your family own any time shares? No, but my mom. There's no way a Jewish guy in real estate is getting involved in a time. What side do you want piped down over there?

My mom briefly sold time share. When she first moved to Florida in need of a job, someone offered it to her. Then she realized it was a scam and she left out. She actually thought it was a good thing in the beginning. And when she realized it wasn't, she stopped working there. Damn, this kid's good. What was the last book you read?

Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point. Great question, Kippy. Sorry. Fucking walked right in that one. And actually I just read, because Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Dude, the boss got me all flustered. What the fuck's happening here?

Neil DeGrasse Tyson, what? He was just on my, on SDR, not a very- Dump that, dump that. You're not plugging any other shows on here. I read his book, An Introductory into Astrophysics. It just came out. Jesus. I wanted to be.

Man, I really fucked this up. What kind of, what brand of hand soap is currently at your house? And then I have a follow up. A really high end hand soap that I just went glamping in Governor's Island. And they had, I don't even know the name of it, I could look it up, but it's a really-

Glamping is glamor camping. It's glamor camping with a chick. And the soap they had in the bathroom was so amazing that I screenshot it and ordered it and threw out all my other soap and that's the soap in my bag. Wait, what's good? It just smells like-

No, the glamping. What's this all about? It's gonna take him three episodes to wrap his hand around the way it is. It took me a year to get a reservation there. They take you on a private boat to Governor's Island and they then golf cart you to a beautiful campground where they have glamping.

So it's like you're sleeping in a tent, but you wanna- It's all done up. It's like glamors, yeah. You have a bathroom. For rich people. And it was really beautiful. You're not going glamping.

It was on my Instagram. You could see the place was beautiful. Like it was really nice. I really enjoyed it very much. Did you bang the chick while you were there? Yes, 100%. Did anybody watch? No, it's inside a tent.

Have you ever attended, or have you ever been to like hedonism or sandals? I've been to, there was a time- Here we go. I was dating a girl who was very bisexual, right? And I believe- Defined very. I think she also preferred watching me have sex

with other girls. And she would generally bring girls home. Like I'd be home sleeping sometimes. This guy stinks. I can't. She'd call me and say, Ralph, get up. I'm coming over with two girls. What happened?

Two girls? With her, thanks to her, twice I had five-sums, four girls and me. Twice. And because of her, we went to a lot of the parties. We gotta get this guy a new shirt. This Mike Coho stinks. His key's having five-sums over here.

Wait, how do you pull that off? They were all bisexual. So they're all fucking each other. And I would just like walking around the bed, putting my penis in various holes for an hour. It was great. Not too shabby. Not really, this guy's pretty cool on my part.

Because of that girl. I went to Nobu a couple of nights ago. Because of that girl, I went to a couple of sex parties because she was very into finding girls for us. Okay. This is like 10 years ago, 11 years ago. How much was it to spend at clamping? Glamping was, I got a deal.

Because I bought it a year ago. You bought clamping? What'd he say? Clamping, we go look for clam. Clamping. Oh, clamping, all right. Clamp, clamp. No, glamping.

Oh, glamping. Glamorous, clamorous. Glamorous, clamorous. I told you, it's gonna take him three weeks to wrap his head around this word. I think it was 500. Tush. Fuck, oh, he's sweating over.

All right, say you're going to a wedding tomorrow. Do you have a suit? I have a suit. That's ready and you can throw it on. I'm asking, I don't know. He's got fucking. We got nothing. He's got skull rings.

I have one suit that I always have ready to go. But I really, I don't like wearing anything. Yeah, yeah, but if you gotta have one, you're not fucking boring one off a friend or something. And then if you were also going to a wedding, what do you give as a gift? Cash. How much?

How close am I to the person? It's, you know, a friend, like, you know, I don't know. Like, it's not family. Not family. And not someone I would consider a good friend. Not someone like a good friend, like, you know. Let's say it's my wedding. Yeah, maybe, no.

Let's say you're, let's say you're going. You're inviting me to your wedding. That's kind of cool. It depends on how much you're coughing up. And my wedding. I got married a couple of months ago, Ralph. See what the clamping situation is. We can post data check if you need it.

Probably like 400. What? You would give me 400s of cash in my wedding. I'll ask my girlfriend to marry me tonight just for the fucking cash. Holy shit, this guy's class. I'll marry you right now, fully. Up till for 250.

Ralph, what do you got on here? Holy shit, have you ever done karate in public? No. We got nothing. This is a talk, talk. We keep doing fucking all you garbage first. He might be the classiest guy that we've ever had in here. How many people answered yes to karate in public?

A lot more than you would think. Dude, you have no idea how flustered Foli is right now. I've been broadcasting with him for years. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know which way is up or down. I remember a couple of weeks ago when you said to me, you'll be surprised how ungarmed. I remember laughing out loud to myself

and just writing down questions like, oh, I'll get him with this. I'll get him with that. I thought we were going to have you in like four questions. Yeah. I got him in Foli's cardigan. Sutton doesn't think he's garbage. I go, I'll get him.

I don't know what the fuck, dude. I don't know what's happening. All right. Have you ever owned a Chevy Blazer? No. Do you have any sherbet in your freezer right now? No, actually, though, I do make sorbet sometimes. I make sorbet.

Fuck, I don't. Fucking guy makes sorbet. I make my own butters, nut butters, my own milk. What? You mean like sex butter? That's gross. That's garbage.

No, no, no, no. If it is, you're trying. I went to cooking school for a year. I ran a restaurant for four years. Well, they were the restaurant. Ferrier on 65th and Madison. Oh, man, I've heard of that. That place was awesome.

Is there a bug zapper in your apartment? No, there is not. Have you ever killed a homeless guy? Yes, several. Have you ever used spray on deodorant? Yeah, as a kid, I think we all did, right? And I guess in the 80s, it was big, I feel. Now, no, not in 25 years, but as a kid.

The chlorofluorocarbons. That was the thing everyone did. Right guard was everywhere when I was like 16 or 17, whatever it was. Do you currently own an Asian cooking device known as a wok? No. Okay.

I do have two cast iron pans, though. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Do you ever eat using chopsticks at home? If I order in sushi, I will. This guy's ordering in sushi. I didn't even know you could do that.

Are you a Dunkin' or Starbucks kind of guy? Much more Starbucks. Of course he is. I don't do that. How much money do you have on you right now? Can I borrow some? I don't carry a lot of money. I don't believe in carrying cash.

I generally don't put a lot of money. I don't carry a lot of money. 20 bucks, I don't carry. Do you own an AmEx Black card? An AmEx Platinum card. Holy shit. One of the metal ones? Yeah.

And my uncle and father both have Black cards. Well, my father was alive. They both have Black cards. Do you like vanilla co-prop? I probably used to make it as a kid, but I've probably had that in 20 years. 30 years maybe. This kid's good.

Hang on. We got him. Nobody worry about him. Everybody relax. If you're in the chat, don't worry. We're gonna get this guy. We're too professional. By the way, can I ask you this?

What's the ratio of garbage to non-garbage in the- You're nowhere near it, buddy. I'll tell you how many people- There's been a- We get every- There's been under five that are- One or two. Yeah, that aren't garbage.

Maybe four. And now looking back, they're fucking trash, compared to this fucking story. You're like a goddamn Kennedy, minus the booze. I've been to, to add insult to injury, I've been to 60 countries. I love traveling. Does that hurt?

Do you fly first class? I don't believe in it. I'll tell you why. This guy doesn't believe in it. That's classy. I don't believe in it. I'm so big, I remember one time I was flown first class somewhere

and they were bragging that it has a six foot three bed and I'm six six, so it's meaningless to me. Yeah, you can't really get in there. To me, I'm throwing money away. There's no reason for it. Have you ever flown private? I was offered private a couple of times, but again, at my height,

I know I'd be miserable on that fucking plane. So I didn't want to do it. Man. My, one of my uncle's friends owns a plane and they offered me twice to fly, but it's like one of these like- Tiny little- Eight seats.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Won't be able to stand it, although I did take flying lessons once and flew a plane. That was pretty cool. Jesus Christ. I'm a big advocate of experience. I'd rather have experience in nice things. I get it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great.

Do you have any beaded curtains in your apartment? No, never did. Never a waterbed either, if you're gonna ask that. That was, I would have paid you for a waterbed, guy. Have you ever owned a Snuggie? No. Ever worked at a carnival? No.

Have you ever been to a wax museum on a family vacation? No. What was a family vacation like for the Sutton's? So family with my dad is before I, there's maybe one or two that I barely remember. I can only remember through photos. You know, I don't have a four-year-old, I don't remember much,

but we went to Puerto Rico once. Okay. Remember that? And we went to the Poconos once. That was two that I remember as family, but I don't really remember. Oh yeah, just, yeah. But it was, my mom, we went to California once.

I didn't take a lot of family vacation. The last one I did with my dad, he took a bunch of people on a cruise ship to up the Northeast, because he wanted my step-mom's side of the family to all get together for something. Gotcha. So he got everybody on a boat.

On a boat. It was like a really nice cruise, like five-day cruise. Have you ever met ketchup and mayonnaise together to make Russian dressing? Yeah, I mean, that's normal. I think that's normal, yeah. I don't think that's normal. Dude, you're reaching.

I mean. Have you ever been to a monster truck show? Never. God damn it. Have you ever owned anything that's reversible? Like a reversible belt, reversible jacket? Probably in the 80s, it was a big thing. You know, it was popular at one point.

Yeah, that was breakout technology. Yeah, it was new technology. Do you ever wear pants that zip into shorts? No, but I actually think that I wish I had them sometimes. Oh, no. I don't have them, but I wish I had them. Have you ever owned a chia pad? No.

Do you eat coleslaw? But I do eat chia seeds now, because chia seeds are good. That doesn't count. That's just... Coleslaw, yes or no? Have I ever had it? Do you like it? Yeah, I love coleslaw.

Not mayonnaise and coleslaw. I like the vinegar-based coleslaw more. Son of a bitch! And I make my own pickled cabbage once in a while, too. Oh, my God. Do you currently own a Kelly Blue Book? No. I don't know, I haven't had a car.

I haven't had a car in 15 years. I don't need one in this city. What's the cable situation over your house? You got the full package? I still believe in cable, and I still have a home phone. I like having those. Skye's old school. Dude, and he gets you with the fucking

I don't believe in it. I know. Or believe in it. Well, the home phone, up until recently, I still had what they call POTS, plain old telephone system with copper wire, because when the power goes out, copper wire phones still work.

So during like any sort of major tragedy, like when there was a blackout here after 9-11, or whatever, and old power went out, your phone still works. So if it was a copper phone, but now it broke a few months ago, they will not replace it with another copper line. So now I have a shitty Wi-Fi phone, which sucks.

Have you ever asked for a receipt at a toll booth? No. Okay, that was my dad, big Dan Ryan, was big on that. Are there any trophies in your apartment? Uh, no, well, there you call it a trophy. I have autographed. From helping young, dying children. Motley, crew, and Def Leppard have platinum plaques

that they gave me, that they both signed all of them. There's only eight of them in the world each. And if we talked about that, I think on when you guys did AYG. Maybe. And I have those hanging in my, those are technically like a trophy. Yeah, but it's, that's a, yeah.

I'm talking like a bowling trophy. Oh no, no, no, something like that. Bowling trophy? I don't know. How do you know Motley crew and them? From, I did a radio show for my, most of my adult life. That was a, I started on my own, a syndicated rock radio show that I got up to about 95 stations interviewing rock bands.

And I built it from my, on my own. Actually, with my old co-host, we were on in a Jersey rock station and I felt we could be bigger and I was trying to get a syndicated and it wasn't working. And then one day I just, him and I got in his car, we drove to Miami listening to any station that was playing anything, 80s rock. And then in Miami, state of my dad's place in Miami,

we called all those stations, made interviews, drove back up the East coast, signed five new stations for the first time ever and made it back in time for the show the next week. And then I built that show up to 95 stations. That was what I did. Damn, that's pretty great. D chunky peanut butter?

I don't, I make my own nut butters. I don't buy peanut butter ever, but I just made like, I'll, it sounds ridiculous. I thought he meant like butter butter. No, I'll make you, I do this pecan nut butter that's unbelievable with maple syrup and cinnamon vanilla that tastes like my pecan pie in a jar.

And it's really healthy, there's nothing bad in it. It's amazing. Damn. Holy shit. What kind of knives do you have at the house? You have expensive knives? Definitely good knives, I like to cook a lot. So I have-

What's the most expensive knife you own? Maybe a hundred bucks. He doesn't even know, that's how- It's not, isn't it? That's it. That's how not trash he is, he's got expensive shit and he doesn't know what it costs. I send my knives out to a company called,

I think Knife Aid, where they sharpen your knives and bring the back. So I don't have a stone anymore. So they sharpen them, bring them back. Foley uses the thing on the back of the blender. Mm, mm, mm. Do you put pineapple on your pizza? I do like Hawaiian pizza.

It's not my pizza of choice. See what I tell you. Folks, never doubt. This guy is a gonadio. I like, it's not my first pizza of choice, but I wouldn't say no to a pineapple and sausage slice. I like it. Have you ever owned a T-shirt gun?

Ever owned a T-shirt? No. Have you ever had a Sopranos or Goodfellas poster hanging up anywhere? No, but Michael and Perry Oli's been on SDR show. Damn it, that's pretty good. Oh, fuck. Yeah, and the strip club I DJed at in Jersey

was supposed to be Ba Da Bing, but the owner said I don't wanna close on Sundays and so they went to a different strip club. Huh, Jesus. Have you ever left a bad Yelp review? No. I've left a good Yelp review. I've never left it.

I think I wrote a couple of nice Yelp reviews at one point. So at one point, when Yelp first started, they actually asked me if I wanted to be part of their team, so I started to get into it and leave some reviews and stuff, but I decided it really wasn't for me. Okay, have you ever had a rat tail haircut? No. Damn it, my brother had that.

My brother had that. Growing up, did your mom cut your sandwiches diagonal or straight across? We're reaching. I don't remember, to be honest. I don't have a... Also, okay, yeah. I don't know, that's a 50-50 shot, I don't remember.

Have you ever been to Busch Gardens Williamsburg? No, I didn't know that was a thing. God damn it, of course you wouldn't, you're a classic, right? Yeah, you're a fucking... Doin' private cruises up the Northeast. That's when you know you got money when your vacation's a direction.

Yeah, so we went up to the Northeast. Have you ever had to call 911 on a family member? Yeah, because they were makin' too much money. So... I got a million dollars away! Yes, I have, my uncle, who I take care of in Brooklyn, is 77, has health issues, and I had a cold 911. That doesn't count, I'm talkin' the cops, the cheese!

That's hell, that's hell fuckin' from a good family he is. He thinks 911, he hears 911, he thinks medical emergency. You hear 911, you think the fuzz is comin' behind, you eat your stash. My aunt got it into the burger sense again. All right, you have to pick one of the following, combos or cheez-its? I mean, I don't really eat a lot of that garbage,

is that if I have to pick one, I would imagine cheez-its aren't as bad for you, if I'm eating one of them. Yeah, that's the classier snack of the two. I don't like, I don't eat, I don't believe in processed foods in general, I try to stay away from them. Do you wear any bikini underwear?

No, all boxer briefs. Sheath, check out Sheath, use promo code Garbage. No songs? No, exclusively Sheath, and boxer briefs, I went from tidy whiteies as a kid to boxer briefs, I've never worn anything else with boxer briefs. The sheaths are awesome, man. Yeah, I fucking, I actually threw out

all of my other underwear and only had to. Once you get to it, they send us a box of them and it's like, I have like three other pairs of underwear hanging on, that I'm like, these things are goin' in. You know that I actually reached out to them in 2018 to be a sponsor, because I bought them by chance. Okay.

And then they ended up becoming a sponsor on the network. Oh, that's great. Hmm, well good for you. Also, I'm blue-checked on Instagram, that adds a little class, doesn't it? That's pretty good. What the fuck? You have Roku TV?

So, I like to hack things, right? I told you of my old school. Yeah, this guy was one of my, I was one of my, I build my own computers and stuff and I find that fascinating, I love doing tech shit. So I have a Amazon fire stick that I put Kodi on, really just because I like it. You know, I like to do that,

which is like you could stream everything illegally. I just find it fascinating. It's more for that than anything else. I like keeping up on technology. Okay, fuck. I mean, Takedos are out of the question. Yeah, Christmas is out of the question. Food for me has always been a thing that I really care about.

After this, I'm going to have an omakase sushi dinner, where it's one piece at a time. Omakase means up to the chef. And I love that experience of you. I know what omakase is. You don't know what you're going to get. You know, so they, they use real wasabi, which is from a root, not that powder shit

that a lot of places do. And I love those. I'm very into food experiences in general. I'd rather spend my money on experience. Foley doesn't know what. I'm dry aging my own steak right now. How about that Foley? I'm dry aging my own goddamn steak.

Foley, that's how I write it. Foley's defrosted some steak on the house. I got some ground turkey. He's waiting, it's sitting on a fucking paper towel on the cutting board. Is your voicemail currently full? We're not going to get him. We're going to have to fucking murder somebody.

He's going to have to kill Dylan right now to call him a piece of trash. My voicemail and email is always empty. And ask any, any of the staff at Gas Digital, I respond immediately. I don't want to go to bed with unanswered emails or unanswered voicemails. I just, that's how I've been doing business my whole life.

Do you want a grill lighter? A grill, like a long lighter? Yeah. Yeah. Cause I have a, I have a custom grill in my bedroom. I have a little grill out of my terrace illegally. Oh my God. But it's like to grill me.

Illegally. Illegally. You heard that, right? He said illegally. This piece of trash is breaking the law over here. And also I have a couple of like long candles in my house that you need to use one of those sticks. Do those candles have holders?

Or do you have candles going right onto the coffee table? Holders for sure. You think this guy doesn't have candle holders? They're skull of raccoons. I feel like I'm doing that. Have you ever had a lunchable? I'm sure I might have. It's not something I've had.

If I've had it, I tried it once. It's not something I've had. Have you ever been part of a focus group? No. Well, I worked at one point when I was 20. You owned a focus group? 18. I was one of my summer jobs was to bring people in

off the street to do focus groups. Give or score any chicks from that? Yeah. You know who I dated? Which at, you know, Jay always on my show on SDR doesn't believe stories of mine, which is just an ongoing thing. But, and I can't wait to bring this up to him,

but I ended up dating. Raleigh Ringwald. Robert Rodriguez's sister, right? So, you know, the director, Robert Rodriguez. So at the time I picked her up off the street, very beautiful chick and she was telling me about her crazy brother who just admitted himself to the hospital so that he could get money

because they would do like experiments on him for his first movie, which was Mariachi. Hadn't come out yet. Damn. And I was like, wow, what a crazy guy. And then he became, and I just spoke to her the other day for the first time in years. Damn it.

Have you ever stayed at the first floor of a hotel? I've stayed one time, I was on that trip when we were trying to sign up stations. The car broke down and we stayed at a motel because we had no other option. It's the only time. No other option. Yeah, but it was like a motel motel.

And I think once, I probably like on a trip, I didn't realize we were put in the ground floor. Yeah. Or it might have been, this is gonna sound really shitty. Sometimes the ground floor is the one that it looks out of the beach. You can walk out onto the beach. So that's a ground floor.

That's not what he was thinking. I know that's what he's thinking. That's pretty good. Have you ever owned a George Foreman grill? Yeah. Yeah, they were big. They were big. I got nothing, I hear what I mean.

They were big. Have you ever cut your own hair? No. When you were a kid, did your mom cut your hair? No. Did you ever cut your mom's hair? No. Damn it.

Cut my mom's hair? You drink eggnog. Can I cut her hair? I'm Jewish, it's not a big part of our life. You know, I never grew up or I've had it, but it's not something that I drink. Here we go. You own a radar detector?

No. I don't own a car. He answered that with disgust. I don't own a car. I mean, he just runs down the street with it. What about a metal detector? Never. Do you have aquasocs?

Why do you know what that is? Of course you don't, Ralph. What are aquasocs? It's when you put like shoes that you wear in the pool. Oh, no. When you go to a shifty beach and you get stuck with a needle, you fucking gotta wear these shoes in the water.

Son of a bitch. I think I only got one or two more. I'm excited. I feel like I'm doing pretty well here, guys. Yeah, you're doing pretty well. I feel like a guy who's went to his first case. I've heard like the flustered attorney who's like, I feel like Dustin Hoffman in Sleepers.

I thought we got to cancel the show after this. This guy's all over us. Have you ever worn jeans on the beach? Yes. No. Ever worn jeans skiing? I've only been skiing once. You own jeans?

I know, is that a chateau? I own jeans. Jeans is my, and if I'm not wearing sweat pants or shorts, I'm wearing jeans. Ever been involved in a bikini car wash? I MC'd a bikini contest, but not a bikini car wash. That's pretty trashy. Mm-hmm, to work, though.

I mean, he's getting cage. Did you sleep with any of the women in the contest? Not that time, no. Not that time. I mean, not at a, you know, no, I have not. Have you ever taken money from a wishing well? No. I did once, so this is gonna make me feel really,

I was gonna further prove my case. You're gonna like this one. I was taking a bus home from the airport, because at the time it was just the easiest way to get home, it was cheap and it was fast. And with my friend, we just came back from Vegas. And as something hits my foot, and I looked down, and it was a roll of $400 in fives, rolled up.

I counted it, it was four and draws, all five dollar bills rolled up. And I showed my friend, and I was like, dude, look at your fucking pound of four and draws. But it bothered me that it could be somebody's. So I said on the microphone, I said very loud, can everyone's attention on the bus? I found a very specific amount of money

in a very specific denomination. And if you can tell me what it is, it's yours. And a bunch of people guessed, but nobody said $400 and five, so then I just split it with my friend and that was it. In fact, just another one, just yesterday, I ordered in a seamless dinner, and it wasn't kind of like an hour late.

So I called seamless, the restaurant stopped answering the phone, so I called seamless, they credited me, I ordered from somewhere else, and then the other food came. And I felt bad, so I called seamless to make sure the restaurant didn't get screwed, but I didn't want to pay twice. And they said, no, don't worry about it, it's fine.

But it bothered me that that was happening. Well, aren't you a great guy? I got one more, hang on. I'm out. I quit. We asked them 900 questions, what are you gonna pull out? What are you gonna pull out in the bottom of the ninth? I asked you about the sherbert,

did we talk about sherbert? Yeah, he makes his own fucking sorbet. You guys can try this, it's really good. They replaced softball. Like so, when I was a kid, my family, my mom's side was a big, they were Sephardic Jews. Big and softball, but. There was so many of them, both my grandparents

on my mother's side had families of 10, like being from big Jews, because back then they thought after the Holocaust, so Jews need to repopulate the earth. Get the numbers up, gotta pump the numbers. So the family, like 500 of them, we would go to Catskills and take over sometimes a whole resort, the whole, that side of my family, and we would place softball with the family, so yes.

But that's really the only time, and maybe. Yeah, that's it, he's class. I mean, we could fucking see. Relax, relax, we got a couple of minutes here, we're not going anywhere, it's take it easy. Ever drink crystal light? Yeah, I mean, I'm sure, not like regularly. Trap.

Get this bozo. Have you ever sponge painted your bedroom? No. No. What about the airbrush, you ever have anything that was airbrushed? Like a piece of clothing? Yes. I mean, no.

No? No. You sure? Actually, a friend who was a big graffiti artist. Fancy, you might know him. Yeah. He gave me a hat that has my name airbrushed on it, but I thought that's about it, I guess.

Who was the graffiti artist? He's not a famous graffiti artist, he just loved to do graffiti, and so it was my birthday gift when I turned 50. Wasn't Keith Herring or anything like that? No, no, no. Wasn't him, no. Or Basquiat.

You guys look so defeated. I mean, we ran through 5,000, I got nothing, he's classy, he's classy. If you're about a full-sized pillow on an airplane. No. How many pillows do you sleep with at night? I have a lot of pillows. Okay, and where do they go?

Well, I like to sleep on my side. Okay. Two pillows for my head. Uh-huh. One pillow that I hold onto and one between my legs. This guy's trash. I'll tell you that right now, that's garbage. That's a point.

They're probably $100 pillows. They're good pillows. God damn it, it's not my pillow, I would assume. No. Where do you keep the butter? You keep it in the fridge, you keep it on the counter. Fridge. Although salt butter can last almost forever, you know?

He even knows, it took us seven months to figure that out. Damn. He drops it on us in two seconds. Where do you keep it? You know what, Ralph? You can take your salt butter. He's classy, what are you doing? You're grasping at straws here.

Let's call the day. I mean, what? Unfortunately, I believe the audio tape's got a little messed up, so we're not gonna be able to air this. Ladies and gentlemen. As classy as they fucking, you'll hold the title. I mean, when we first came in here, we sat down, we talked to you right when we first started

coming into the studio. And you're like, oh, we gotta get you on. And you're like, he said right away, I'm not trashy. And I'm like, there's no fucking- He's articulate. You're even more attractive now. And you were attractive before. He comes from good stock.

He cooks. He does cool things. How's your piece? You got a good piece on you? I would say- We've already covered this, didn't we? He's having sixims. What do you mean?

You barely get your wife to sleep with you. Right guy, right time, right place. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's a wrap. He's got the fucking title. We're saying it right now. Ralph Sutton is the classiest person that has ever been on this show.

Oh, thank you, gentlemen. Someone said- I concede. Someone said in the chat, he is very classy, but he surrounds himself with garbage, which I can see. You got Jay, you got Lewis around you a lot. That's not a good look. It makes me look better by the fall.

Of course. I keep him around. I'm a fucking 10 walking around next to this. The pretty girl who brings ugly girls out to the club. That's really what it is. Well, buddy, thank you so much for coming in and completely destroying the theory of ruining our show. Can I say that I'm really happy

that you guys are part of the network. I love the show and I'm so happy it worked out and you guys are great. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you. And no, we're only goofing around with you. We're glad that you're class.

We're glad that we're involved with you. You fucking know what you're doing. You're fucking, this guy's a mover and shaker. I'm sticking on team Sutton all the way. I'm about to have a house in Miami. Anything you want the folks out there to know? Follow me everywhere at I am Ralph Sutton. I believe in social symmetry always.

The same thing with the SDR show at the SDR show. We went to two days a week recently, this week, because this is live, right? Yes. Tomorrow is, well, Saturday's Colin Quinn. Tomorrow is, fuck, Tom Arnold. Oh, awesome. Tom Arnold, Tom Arnold, Colin Quinn.

Yeah, and we just did Neil deGrasse Tyson. We had, as I said, Ray Romano on. We've been knocking it out. We had a lot of huge guests lately. Yeah, you've been killing it. I'm very excited about it. You're absolutely killing it. And we had such a great time when we did your show.

And we are so glad that we're here in the network and we love you guys and we appreciate it. What is social symmetry, by the way? Everything's the same. Like I don't like what someone says. Oh, it's at the SDR show on Instagram, but at underscore. What you don't do.

You know, whatever it should be. That way they look for you. They find you the same. Finding a nail. I didn't want to be I am Ralph Sutton, but Ralph Sutton was taken. So I got I am Ralph Sutton.com, at I am Ralph Sutton everywhere.

And you know, I am RalphSutton at gmail.com. I have it all. So for that symmetry, you can always find something that'll make sense. It's better for SEO. Yeah, for sure. Sharp guy, man. Sharp fucking dude.

Guys, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well. As we said, the live show with Shane Gillis and Mike Rainey is out right now. You guys, the response to that has been fucking awesome so far. Also go to gassageallnetwork.com.

You can sign up, use promo code, AYG. You save a couple of bucks. We make a couple of bucks. Everybody's libraries, from the whole fucking Legion of Skanks, SDR, all of our back episodes. It's fucking well worth it. Sign up, get all that good content.

I am at Kevin Ryan comedy on all social media. Check me out. Thank you. I'm at H Foley on Ice on Twitter and Foley Graham's on Instagram. And my website is www.maybeomaccomedian.net. This is our first true loss. Yeah, we've conceded a couple,

like you know, maybe we're on the fans, give or take, weighted questions. This is a fucking. Yes, yeah. We got him with the rings. Yeah, that was it. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for having me guys. Have fun. Thank you. We'll see you soon. We love you. Peace.