Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Raw Milk w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! LAST WEEK!! NYC! Get Tickets to the Gramercy Show, Access Code: GARBAGE https://www.livenation.com/event/k7vGF99hSu4jM/are-you-garbage-podcast Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Woo, kippy garbage at the Gramercy! Hachimachi! New York City, a couple of ticks left for that Friday show! Oh yeah. Dang it, for you in the tri-state area, do yourself a favor. Grab some tickets, come see at the Gramercy Theater. We can't wait! Yeah, it's live stand up, me and a big man co-headline,

then we play AYG with the crowd, you seen the clips. It's a good time. The Army garbage, come and correct. Sold out almost three shows, some tickets left. Get them now, let's party. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.

Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Hey, yeah. It's our little show, we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're group to be classy. Yeah.

Don't they're just a big old piece of trash? Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host H Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Anthony's basement. She's upstairs finger banging herself in the goddamn living room. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage.

He is an international businessman. Going to be ringing the bell over at PS 13 in Queens. Get the school day started. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. Hey, what's up? That might be the best hoodie of all time. That fucking knocked my socks off,

because I pictured it immediately. What's up, everybody? Chop it up over there. What's up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in, as always. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. You got the full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are.

Tritter app. Cookin. It's cookin. And then speaking of cookin, we're going to have to hire another line chef down there for the Fudgin' Patreon down there. www.patreon.com slash Are You Garbage. You can sign up.

You get bonus episodes of AYG. You get episodes of the Barn Burner hard feelings. You get all the bonus video we do. We do a monthly thing of On The Row. We got a new guy Luke doing that. Hold on, brother. But, Julian, now there's a content on there. You know it.

That's legally binding. Check it out. Good time over there, gang. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer, Extraordinaire. The magic man makes us all look good. Works those ones. Works those twos.

Crosses, MTs, dots, damn eyes. It's T-Bone McMuffin. Tubby McMuffin, everybody. What's up, dude? What up, T-Bone? I'm glad our conversation is about the new YouTube terms of service have fallen upon deaf ears. I didn't curse.

I changed the fudge. You said finger banging in the first 10 seconds. Yeah, that's not a curse word. They can't send you to their principal's office when back. It ain't dinner talk. I'll tell you that much. That's getting flagged at Sunday supper. You can't drop finger banging in front of your mom.

Just dubbing finger popping. They want to know what we're talking about. Gang, we're here for a family episode. It's just the boys this week. We're hanging out. We're going to be doing some Patreon questions. We're going to be goofing around. But first, Kevin Ryan with the weather.

What's going on with you and the? I don't like this, but what do you got? I don't like this at all. The crew next sweaters, sweatshirts. You've been rocking recently. I've worn two in a week. I don't think that's the, you know, it's a sweatshirt. I don't understand, man.

All right, next story up. I mean, what did you, do they bother you? I think it's a pretty solid normal. It's just old school. It's just very 90s. Ladies and gentlemen, that's a great example of the H. Foley playbook. When you got nothing, throw your friend under the bus.

I know. Hey, I heard you've been wearing shirts. Also, I wanted to talk about it. Works for the Republicans in the 90s. Still works today, baby. I mean, we have a- When in doubt, trash the other guy. Drag him to, oh, you want to throw it?

All right, that's what the kind of campaign it's going to be. You want to start throwing mud? I'll throw mud. Woo! I got a bad case of mud, but we obviously have a show about, you know, trash behavior, trash things. Sure. Can we mention that it's been 23 days since the live stream

and we still have cups of milk with dinner over there sitting on the- Bad news. Sitting on the- Dude, there is fermented chocolate milk in all of those glasses. We haven't cleaned up in here once in 23 days. We got the COVID cure sitting right there. Man, I can see the spores multiplying over there.

That's bad. Little spaceships are going to be flying out of there. That civilization is going to be more advanced in a couple of days. Yeah, I mean, that's next level dirtbag shit. We just have old Yoo-Hoo and Vodka. There's no sinks down here. I know.

I mean, that's nice stem wear. That's got to be thrown out. It's Johnny Walker Black, a commemorative gear. I'm going to throw that out. Oh, are you just going to let it sit over there and grow mold? Someone will figure it out. Yeah, me, that's what it's going to be. We need a sink.

There's a, dude, there's a bathroom. I'm not washing cups in the- that's trash. Washing cups in the bathroom. We're going to have to throw them out, which I've done every move I've ever done. I've just tossed all the dirty dishes. Oh, yeah. All the, dude, pots with like-

At the house? Yeah. You did? Any move? Oh, a move. Forget about it. Yeah, I'll throw something out if it gets too grody. Burn the place to the ground.

I even mid, mid, mid lease, if someone gets too nasty and I go, why the fuck are we saving up? Throw it out, buy a new one on Amazon, eight bucks, whatever it is. You guys ever have to boil water when you're a kid? You ever get- To drink? Yeah.

No, I didn't grow up in Guam. What are you talking about? Boil water to drink. What year did you grow up? You ever had something go happen with the neighborhood or something, boil water for a couple of days? No, dude, we didn't live on the Oregon Trail. Yeah, what are you talking about?

We did. Not that long ago. Boil in water, yeah. You got a well? No. Are you using crick water? What do you got? What are you working with?

What are you boiling, dude? That's not smooth. What's going on? Yeah, I remember we had to- I think my mom had to do it recently when they were like, stay away from the water for a couple of days or boil it. Some main broke or something like that. All right, that, I mean, an incident, maybe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I remember as a kid, we had to do that for a couple of days. Something was going on. And I remember it was something with the bathroom. I remember a buddy of mine growing up had well issues where he was growing up. And- Which they say is good water.

Which we obviously found out is naturally purified to the limestone or whatever that it's in. Yeah, it's a little dead squirrel falls in there. And it got closed up to well. Fuck that. Well went bad. I'm a city main kind of guy. Tapped me into a heavy bike main.

I don't want squirrel teeth in my A.C.D. Run something through some filters for me. I don't like it. I've been leaning on just the straight water in the house now. The prettiest of pain in the ass, dude. Buddy, I'm telling you, I upgraded my life. I was thinking about it today.

I got the five gallon jugs. They drop it off. My wife likes sparkling. I get her two cases of Pellegrino. And that's what we do. You know, those Europeans, they like those bubbles. I haven't drank a glass of water in no joke over a month. That's crazy.

What are you talking about? I just drink seltzer. That's water. That's what I say. That's rich guy water. That's what that is. Club soda's all right. I'm not sure the difference between seltzer, club

soda, and tonic. One has a little salt in it. What one? Seltzer. Really? Yep. And then what's tonic? Has quinine in it.

Whoa. Well went bad or what happened? I don't know, but I love tonic water when I was a kid. I would do vodka tonics in college. Oh, brutal. Well vodka, that's when my brother was drinking. I thought, so I started drinking it. Man, talk about a hang of water.

I was on G&T's for a little bit. Gin and tonic. G&T's and Kools, I was smoking. What? Are you a jazz musician? Gin and tonics and Kools? Well, he bought a Cadillac. Gin and tonics and Kools.

For a couple of weeks in college, you were getting after it. That's really trying to find an identity in college. That's really trying to figure out who you are. You've got a fedora on, you're playing the sax. Yo, gin sucks, tonic sucks, but together it's real nice. Yeah, I don't like it. Hangover city, though. No, good.

Gin, come on, man, what are you doing? It almost brought down the British Empire. No shit. Bunch of water heads. Can't be drinking that shit. Shit, what was I going to say? Did you Google, did you fact check me on the Seltzer? Versus club soda.

Club soda has the addition of potassium bicarbonate and potassium sulfate in the water. Did you guys drink that growing up? I mean, we only had it for mixers and dry drunks. That's what we had, tonic or club soda. There was always a tonic in that. Yeah, there was a tonic. The little glass bangers we had left over from Christmas

or whatever for Uncle Jimmy to get after it. Uncle Jimmy loved the Seltzer. Well, too much, if you know what I mean. Now we had those. But I remember coming in, fucking looking through all the cabinets, looking through the refrigerator, nothing to drink. And it was either chug and milk, which I was OK with.

All that. Which did quench your thirst. Oh, yeah, it fills you, too. So good. It's like a meal and a drink. Or you'd find an old bottle of tonic water in the back that was flat. Just crush that.

Going in, it's OK. There's a metallic aftertaste afterwards that would set off a nine-year-old pallet, like a smoke alarm. Drinking that's like snake bite shots. They fucking, those bite back, those tonic waters. They got a little bit of a bite to them. You know what my wife's been doing?

She's been ordering, she's on, she does raw milk. Really? She orders it from Amish people. She got it? Yeah, she got her hand. I don't know if I'm legally a lot of, it's illegal in New York. Yeah, it's fine. Whoa, dump it.

That's dicey. That's a carnivore MDs always talking about raw milk. Yeah. He makes a lot of sense, man. Keeps it tight, too. Tight little body on that guy. I looked into raw milk. Yeah, you have to go to Jersey to get it,

and you get the hook up from the Amish. Which I don't trust those Amish. Nobody with that bed of a haircut. Get out of here. Buddy, what are you doing? Grab a mirror. What the fuck is this all about? Walking around judging me.

They always got, they always look like they're looking up and down like you're on your way to hell. Buddy, hit a haircut or you're fucking sport cuts or something. Great clips. You look like a fucking asshole. Grab a pair of clippers, will you? I mean, you got, you sheared a sheep.

Why don't you run, why don't you do a fly by on that fucking? Throw Sheamus on the bike and charge that thing up. There's something going on. Fucking, why don't you do a Passover on those bangs, man? It's fucking 2023. You're a 24 year old man with bangs. What are we doing? There's a dice being rolled with that, though.

With the raw milk. It's better for you, but then... I don't like the fact that it's a... Botulism or something like that. I don't like the fact it's in the house. I don't like it. Really? If it's, what are we doing?

What's she say how it tastes? I don't, she got something else. There's another concoction that they make that she, they made her gag. There's low heat pasteurized. I don't know. Cream top milk? No, no, this isn't milk, this is more like a yogurt.

Kefir? Yes. Shefir, Ari Kefir? She got a couple... Ari Shefir's Kefir. She got a couple of tubes. Ari call me. She got a couple tubes of that, it made her gag,

so she gave it to the dog, it made him puke in the living room. So I'm like, I'll get this Amish shit out of my house. You can't get a dog yogurt. No, it's good for him, apparently. It's good for the microbiome or some shit. I don't know. What's the scoop, doc?

Raw milk is milk that has not been pasteurized to kill harmful bacteria. Raw milk can carry harmful germs, such as campylobacter. I can barely know her, what are you talking about? Cryptosporidium. I'm a bit Bitcoin man. E. Coli, Listeria, Rusella, and Salmonella.

Yeah, that's like the dirty finger. That's not the milk itself, I think that's how it's processed. And I think the reason why they started pasteurizing it was because... Louis Pasteur. They were dirty, their hands were dirty. They ain't no hand sanitizer.

But if it's done... I don't think the Amish are playing fucking, they're out there with the dung beetle and stuff. I think they do. I think you have to get to it pretty quick. The shelf life ain't great. It's like a carnival goldfish. You gotta get that in your quick.

We got tagged in a new Bev that seems reckless. What? The monster energy is releasing their alcoholic beverage. Yeah. Oh, I know. Let's go. I smell a new sponsor. Yeah, I wish.

That's what I'm talking about. Monster... Hit me up! Monster energy drink, raw milk and vodka. Let's package it all together. They don't check your ID, they just look for neck tattoos. You haven't taken a sip of this milk?

You're fucking nuts. Really? No. I'm not drinking someone's hand delivered by a guy with a bad haircut, all right? Do you have to shake it up? I don't know, man. I don't even like going in the fridge anymore.

I wanna try it. I'm just scared. We'll come over. You two can throw up together. That's right from the titties. Sip it on some milk tartare. No. I like the pasteurized.

But you're not getting as good. It's got really good stuff in it, really good for you. Yeah. According to that guy. Yeah, according to some, yeah, all right. I don't know, man. I don't like it, you know. It is what it is.

I don't think, you know, she doesn't like all the things I do. Raw milk. I don't think 19 cores lights are any better than raw milk, so. I didn't know you were scoring it. What were they getting you for? I don't know.

Probably ain't cheap. I don't know, they ship it up from PA or something. Whole milk. Allegedly, they do that. Whole foods has low heat pasteurized, which is pretty good, apparently. Oh, I don't know. I'm a fucking whole milk.

What about goat's milk? You need a heavy-bite grape cap, all right? Goat's milk is pretty good. Oh, no. What are we talking about? Goat cheese, maybe, on a salad. That's got a little must to it, though. Man.

Sometimes you get a key. I remember the first time I had that shit. I almost fucking shot the block up. Dude. What the fuck is that? Yeah, what are you putting in your cheddar, dude? I know, that's rough. It's got air in it and stuff.

I don't trust goats, either. What are we doing? Cheddar all day. I just do that. I don't trust goats. I don't like goats. They're eyes. The fuck is that?

I think Ramya real quick. Do you ever see those videos of the guy going in to feed them and they get fucking, hey, run up on you like the Bloods in the Crips? They don't play around. You got to keep your head on a swivel if you're in a goat pen. Pretending they're broke down. You stop, they rob you, get in the car, and drive away.

Do you ever see them they have like, they pass out or whatever? Yeah. That's plain dead. They wait until you come over. They fuck you. Pop up with some nickel. Come up off that feed, pussy. Yeah, I don't like the way their eyes are shaped.

It's real devilish, real demon. Yeah, well, that isn't like the goats head is like on the, you know. Yeah, I don't like that guy. Yellow kid, a rat king or whatever. He was big into goat heads. I don't, yeah. Oh, just give me red fucking straight up milk

It's not good for you. What? The regular stuff, the pasteurized. I'm cranking heaters. You got to go raw. They're illegal, all right? Milk ain't my problem. Alcohol is.

Get raw heaters from the Amish. These aren't stepped on. These are illegal in New York. Don't tell no one I got a couple of raw stingers. Cord cob pipe. Got to meet a guy in a back alley. Good stuff. All right, let's quit screwing around here.

You got a hot show we got to do. Gang, it's a family episode as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon there, you get a question right on the air. Uh-huh. This one's from Gary abusive. I don't know if that's his government name. This is in the world of one of ours,

but I've never, this is a different take on it, which is very good, which might make the circulation. This is a good one. $10 homey, never have on red. Are you garbage if your house has been on the news? That's tough, dude. That's tough, dude. If your house has been on the news for something,

like an explosion or, you know, it ain't good. A sinkhole or something. Trampoline accident. Yeah, when the earth eats your house. Oh man. Sinkholes are fucking scary. That happened in West Philly on the Boulevard in like the 80s.

Dude, it just took like three whole blocks and we would drive by. You could just see them. They'd be like three, four feet in the ground. There was a sinkhole out in front of the house that I lived on on Dipmars. Really? Right as I was moving.

That happens in New York. And you just gotta drive around there. Right as I was moving out, I walked out and I'm like, what the fuck? And I looked and I could like see like a hole. And I'm like, yo, that ain't good. They're like, oh, I don't worry about it. The next day it was like, it was like a fucking,

like a big, like an in-ground swimming pool. Yeah, they don't, I remember that, I think. Yeah. Yeah. They don't, no. That and what's it called, manhole covers blowing up. That happened on 42nd Street. Not too long after 9-11. Scared the shit out of everybody.

I think killed one poor guy that was right over top of it. I flicked up Dean. I flicked up Bernie the other day and it rolled and dropped down the hole. They say you're not supposed to do that. What, flick Bernie's? In manhole covers or- I wasn't, I mean, I didn't-

Or sewer grates. I don't do it on purpose. I typically, whatever, the wind caught it. And she, you know, I caught a hanger, dog leg left. And she, she banged the left and went down that hole in the manhole cut. And in my head, I was like, that could fucking- Run.

It's a methane gas, that'll fuck him. That'll wake up the block. Kaboom. Great question. Yeah, it's good. Let's see here. This is from Jennifer, $10 home and never have one read. Is it garbage?

If you have to put the parental control lock on QVC so your wife can't order anything off the TV. Man. Ooh, man. Talk about getting- Still getting you? I get, man. They're probably better than ever.

They're marketers, they've learned. It's not like the QVC from the 80s. These people are sharp now. It's like, they got the algorithm figured out. But who's watching that? How old is this guy? Why he's watching QVC? QVC is huge.

Lori from Shark Tank, QVC Queen. That probably does like $10 billion a year. Is she the hot one? Yeah. They all are. Shout out to Barb too. I don't know Barb. It's the old broad, Barbara Corcoran.

Yeah. The queen of New York City real estate. Yeah. Tight little keystone. Yeah, Lori's all right. They're all all right. What, I have a shot with her? Lori?

Yeah. I pick you as a Mr. Wonderful kind of guy. All right. Take me out to a nice dinner? An imperpatuity deal too. I get you. That guy's always taking points on the back end. He goes, yellow me $50 a unit for ever.

Who's your favorite shark? It's funny you mention that because I never fucked with that show. I've seen every one about 10 times. When it was on. I don't even know when it was on. I think it's bigger now that it's ever been. Is it?

They don't still make it, do they? Oh yeah. Oh they do. It's hotter than ever. Is it always on MSNBC or whatever it is? No, they're all reruns. Oh they are. I think the new ones are on NBC proper.

Oh yeah, I watch it on MSNBC. Yeah. The reruns. I don't know what's going on. I can't tell when it is or who's new or whatever. My favorite shark would be, yeah probably Mr. Fantastic. Mr. Wonderful.

Mr. Fiends, was he a wrestler? Elbow drop. Yeah, he's all right, but they're all cool as shit. They're not dicks. I thought they were going to be more dicks. I like Cuban. Cuban can be a dick. Cuban's all right.

He can be a dick though. He's business man. He's got a big ego and they call him out for it. It tells people to shut up. Try selling, try to come out and pitch vitamins, Dan. He's got your number. That's fake science. He screams at people.

He don't play that shit. What do you think QVC generated in one year revenue wise? $8 billion. Oh yeah. $8 billion. $2 billion. $14.2 billion. Look at that.

That's what I'm saying, dude. They moved unis. They got a stranglehold in the Midwest. Everybody's buying that shit, dude. Everyone. Who's sitting and watching TV like that? They got good proddy. I'm telling you, dude.

Ken, let's talk about that Adam and Eve, baby. I got a hard on right now. Oh, who doesn't? One of our favorite sponsors here on the show and let's be honest, gang. Valentine's Day is coming up. Oh yeah. I'm sure the spark has gone down a little bit.

You know what? Here's that. What? Sticking something up your butt. Uh-huh. Or putting your Peter in something, whatever you want to do. Nothing wrong with it.

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Go to adamandeeve.com right now at the way. Loop it up. Kepp, I'm gonna tell you about Liquid IV. I love Liquid IV. I'm gonna tell you about a personal experience that I had recently. Okay. 103 degree temperature, 24 hour bug, knocked me out.

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Do it. Let's see this one's from, oh, this is a killer name, Burger Wolf 69. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's all right. That's all right. All right, I need a guy taking out. You call the burger.

Oh, dude. The burger dude, I feel like that's just Foley's fucking alter ego. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What are you gonna do with all this ground beef? Call the burger wolf. Oooo! Next time you go out to dinner and foley's a table for four

under Burger Wolf, please. Ah, Mr. Burger Wolf. Right this way. Fulmuna tonight. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. The Burger Wolf will get ya. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Oh, shout out to the burger wolf.

reward him with mustard and ketchup to keep him away. He's gonna wear a necklace of grilled onions. Otherwise, I'll get ya. Have you done with this? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I had a couple more terms. Not so important. Pickle spears?

Coulda went there. You could of, I would have, I wouldn't have recommended it. Not every joke has to be made. That joke sucked and for that reason, I'm out. You gotta kill him with silver. Dollar pancakes. Oooo whore. Can I say this?

Can I give you this? The silver dollar pancake can shuck my peepee. They suck, man. They're just a little guy, right? They suck. They suck. I want flapjacks, three fat ones. Silver dollar, get out of here.

Yeah, I never got that. We had them, we had the Anciamima frozen ones one time. Oh, they ain't bad. That ain't good. They're all dope. Dude, those freezer burn instantly, those things. Those got a freezer life of about 13 hours. Those started pop.

They come home from the store freezer burn. They started popping around the Foley household, I would say. You got 38 of them. It's stupid. Mid 2000s when my dad was dropping my cousins off at school, where their mom would drop them off at the house because she had to be, she was a teacher.

She had to be in school early. So the boys would come over. They got a little bit better than what we had as a kid. It was always just straight egos for us. Patti used to, she'd get the frozen, you ever had the frozen French toast? Yeah, that wasn't, we were, that was European. Oh, man.

No French toast. My stepmom made French toast for the first time in house. That I could, that was all right. You gotta have French toast made at home. I think the, I never had a good French toast in any restaurant I've ever been to, I like. I think I didn't like French toast because. Really?

No, like the frozen stuff, they served it at school. Like either in the morning or lunch, and it was like gray. And I remember taking, I was trying to cut it with a fucking plastic fork. Yeah, I wanted that. And then fucking, I was just like, yo, fuck this shit. And then right away it was just turned off. But I remember I caught a bunch of shit as a wee buck.

I was a big ego man, right? Sure, we all were. It's like a roll for breakfast. Yeah. I mean, it's a glitching, it's a glitching get to a buttered roll. They were all right. Now I remember catching a lot of shade,

I believe at a buddy's house, a lot of heat in the morning. Cause I came down and I was like, what do you want cereal? We got egos or whatever. You know, nice little fucking Saturday morning thing with the mom or whatever. Sure.

I caught a lot of shit cause I buttered my ego waffles. Is that normal? Yeah. Right? I remember, I don't know. They made me feel weird. Like they just went straight up. That's crazy.

I know. I was like, what else are you doing? It's a pancake. It's a waffle. You got to fucking, you got to laugh it dather, then add the syrup. Oh man, those bites with the chunks of butter, not melted and the syrup.

Amen. Yeah. Talk about, talk about cherry, cherry, cherry. It's like having waffles on the rocks. All right, dude. That's my favorite. We were using margarine too back in the day. So it spread real nice.

Shout out to promise. Yeah. It's butter or peanut butter, if you nasty. Ew. That's crazy. I don't think I've ever done that. Dude, I remember coming home. It's amazing.

Coming home from school, you know, whatever, 13 years or whatever, however old, young fat kid, no food in the house. Mom ain't going to be home for about, maybe she was working third shift till fucking 12, 45 at night. I had to figure out after school snack and dinden on my own.

Sure. Man, crushing about four, five, six fucking ego waffles. Dude, I was just eating them like they were fucking tortilla chips. Just fucking sitting there, have a screamer cold coat from the garage and just fucking biting them. They were, I've toast them and put them in a paper towel

and just sit there and fucking crush them, dude. They were so good. Straight off, plain Jane. Feel the texture in your mouth. You know, it had a good mouth feel. They're all right. I wasn't too impressed with Belgium waffles when I first, when I first, when they first came

across the radar with the whipped cream and the fruit. Get the fuck out of here. Give me a slice of butt butt on there. Yeah, this is America, baby. Yeah. And they last for about two seconds. What? The Belgium, you've got to get them quick.

You got to eat them in the kitchen on the way out to the table. Yeah. No, I'm not a, well, we had a waffle maker at one point. We had that grilled cheese maker at one point. The equity sandwich maker. Yeah. That's what we had.

My cousin Kelly used to bang out ham and cheese in them. They were like an artist. I just remember it seemed like such a process. Mom didn't like doing it. No. Yeah, we weren't allowed to handle it type thing. We were real young. She was like, nah, it's probably a QVC purchase.

Yeah, that makes sense. This one's a back to burger wolf. Do you own any of the four dummies books? Like, how to fix a car for dummies, how to, you know, coding for dummies, which is a, for a while. That was a dead giveaway. You were an idiot.

I thought those were Waldo's to be honest with you. It's the same dude on the cover. It's a guy that looks like Waldo. I see what you're saying a little bit. I don't think we ever had out, that was like, they were, we talked about this before, that was like cliff notes to me. They were like.

Nobody in my family read anything ever. My brother read. Patty and Terry did not read. My mom would read like, what are they, those John Grisham not, like maybe back in like those thick ones, but they, no, like the murderers. Angel is ashes. I remember was floating around for a long time.

Every Irish dirtbag read that. Yeah. Yeah. That and the diary of a geisha, whatever it was called. No, I don't know. Yeah. It was the name of that book. I think it's diary of a geisha. 50 shades of gray talking on real freaky.

Memoirs of a geisha. Memoirs of a geisha. Yeah. Angel is that that and the secret was floating around. That's devil's play for us. The secret you're nuts given to the universe. This is the problem. The Scruffy Odd.

Maybe the father son of the Holy Spirit, will you? You know the winning team, will you? Yeah. Boys are putting up numbers. Let's go. Yeah. No, we never know books. No encyclopedias. There might have been,

there was a real old dictionary floating around for a while. But you didn't encyclopedias. The only book I do remember ever buying and liking from like the school book fair, right? They would have like the book fair. You got like a, you get 20 bucks or 10 bucks or whatever, go buy a book or two for the year.

I bought the Guinness Book of World Records. That's not bad. Man, that's a good time. As an eight year old. The two fat guys on the motorcycles. The tall guy. Yeah. Fucking just annoying my mom with facts.

I was like that kid in Jerry Maguire. Just fucking dropping Snapple Facts on you all day. I don't know who's they were, but we had a pretty sizable national geographic collection. Just stealing from the dentist probably. No, I don't know who the fuck collected them. Cause I don't ever remember seeing them build up or getting delivered.

I just remember one time just finding a box of them in a closet somewhere. Couple of racy picks in there. Yeah, I remember seeing a set of cans. They do it for you. It worked. Not these that I saw. Free internet.

Dude, just set of cans. Some knee knockers. Man, heavy, heavy nip. Heavy bike nips on them. Some tell me titties. Oh man, if he's talking about a burger wolf. Check with a basket on her head. Man, it was a.

Do what you gotta do. Nah, these were, I remember looking at them in, I mean, the highlights was already figured out. So I had no reading. So I grabbed the National Geo. A little kippy with his, putting his glasses on to crack the highlights. Yeah, so I was doing,

it was a fucking word search. Somebody had all circled all the words. Sorry about highlights magazine. Yeah, I'm talking about highlights. Yeah, that was my shit. I was my playboy back in the day. Goofus and Gallant was all right. I was on a bus one time with a crack head next to me

with a word find circle and nonsense. That's a good time. Ah, got another one boss. It's like Lloyd Braun selling computers. It's on her arm. It's on her arm. Yeah. Synchronized sips right there.

I know, we get called on that a lot. Yeah. People pull the people pull it out. Say we're in the matrix. We zip at the same time we go. Afterwards. Let's see here. This is for a Mickey.

Do you have any open containers in the fridge currently? Open. Like something without a lid I present. Never. I don't even have a piece of eggplant in there. That I told her you can't do that. And plus she puts back open cans sometimes. That's fucked, dude.

I used to live with a buddy who did that. I tell her you couldn't get botulism. Half a soda and then come back and get it. No, no, I'm talking about cans of food. I'll do that from time to time. No, you can't do that. She does it with tomato paste and does it with refried beans.

I do it. Like put that shit in the fucking top of where. Top of where? You can even throw some aluminum. You're gonna give me TB. Some aluminum foil. Will they stagger around the apartment? Well, I'll get, I'll get,

I get lazy with the fridge. And to the point where it's like, I get, this is, you know, we're pretty, we're pretty jammed up at the moment. I caught her keeping onions out the other day after cutting them. I got to put that in the fridge. No, it's fine.

Put it in the fridge. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, obviously my, my broads from the, from Europe, from the Europeans, they got a, they got a different, me, everything went in the fridge growing up. Everything.

Everything good. Except for the butter. Everything went in the, I mean, everything went in the fridge for us. Butter and the sour. And she leaves stuff out. I'm like, what are you doing? You're gonna die to keep this shit out there.

Yeah. I don't, I don't like any of that. Give me coal. Give it to, give it to me coal. Leaving a sandwich out for a little while. Let everything soak together. That's a little different of you. I'm talking about it.

About it. Half a pie of dominoes or something. That gets better with time. You know what I mean? Let the air hit. Oh yeah. You gotta let the air hit. Let that cheese congeal a bit.

Toby, you're wrong. I just, I just agree. Let's chuck it in the fridge. No. No. Ruin it. Uh-huh. No.

You put it in at night. Then when you go to bed. You know, that was the first route. So the rats don't get it. Shout out to my boy Pat. His parents, the first time I ever seen it done was leave the pie in the box in the oven. Sure.

Yeah. For storage. Not hot. Of course. And then you just go, oh, we got pizza right here. Man, munch on a couple slices from Aldeys. Good night. Oh, so there's, there used to be this thing.

We used to call it the plague. Whereas there was this, you know, this pizza place that we always went to. And there would be times. I don't know what it was like 30, 40 years ago, whatever. You would, you'd have a slice and then, you know, someone, if there was like five of y'all having a slice, somebody at some point, you'd be out skating or riding

bikes or in the woods, smoking sticks or whatever. Not nowhere near a bathroom. You get hit with the plague. We call it the Aldeys plague. Dude, this thing crap up and hit you like a ton of bricks for your pain out of your butt. Dyrr. Oh man, and you would just, so you would feel it

and you would see it in their eyes and go, I'll go back to your house, man, and you'd fucking try to sprint as far as you can get. I caught a little bit of food poisoning last week. I'm not really sure where it came from. I got a little taste of something. Man, brutal. Just brutal.

I don't mind it. It's kind of cleansing a little bit. Sure. You know. A little bit of liquid IV. Sure. Straighten it out a little bit. Yeah, clear my head. You know what I mean?

Man. I crushed one of those the other day. We went out to dinner and I had a drink or two, so maybe like a week or so ago. Man, I was dying when I woke up. Please get me something, man. Hit me with a thermos of that. Laying there on my side, just sucking it out.

Right back to night and night land. Oh, Bailey skipped it. Man, you're on your side looking for wives. I've seen a, I've seen a semblance of that. It ain't a great look. Yeah. All right, let's see this one. Some Chad.

Is a garbage that owned a shopping cart? Ours came with the house. That's wild. Oh, man. What kind of house did you buy that came with a shopping cart? That's what I want to know. Yeah. This is a half a porch.

That ain't good. That's a bad look. But probably very beneficial to have around the house. Utility-wise. What are you doing? You can't put that on the grass. What do you mean? Don't I'm saying if you're like, I don't,

I mean, I don't know the layout of the house. I doubt it's a fucking odd apartment. I'm just saying if you gotta, you know, moving stuff from the house to the garage, move it's gotta be beneficial for sure. It's a wheelbarrow. It's a grill. Yeah, it's everything.

I'm telling you, it's a toy for the kids. So they ride it down a hill. Ramming vehicle to get inside the front door when she locks you out. Yeah. She's gonna. I'm on the side of it's probably benefit. It's a probably a decent tool around the house

from time to time. If you have a shopping cart in your house, you're on the first name basis with the local Smokies. They pull up and they go, Greg. Greg, what are you doing with the cart? Yeah. Yeah. I don't mind it.

I gotta be honest with you. It seems all right. That's a tough look, dude. This one's from Nick. Never have one read. $10. Hey, me. Is it garbage to call a rotisserie chicken

a bachelor's handbag? You do feel dainty when you're carrying it. You feel a little fancy, you know what I mean? You're walking around. Cause you gotta be gentle with her too. So she don't leak on you. I told you the one that we used to get when I was a kid from this place called Country Butcher

came in a bag, he came in a foil bag. Like the way the- That's big now, though. Like the way the Popeyes chicken sandwiches come. Used to come in one of those. Man, just fucking ripped that thing open. Did you see the one that somebody tagged us in from? What's the one in Boston?

Not stop and shop. Market basket. Market basket? Oh, it's a tier two of them on the thing? Yeah. No, it's just one wrapped in like a thing that you would, they would wrap like a T-bone steak in. Like it was in one of those boats.

Oh yeah. Dude, the chicken wrapped in that. Everybody was hitting me. I was like, dude, that's gonna leak, man. That ain't no good. You need the airtight dome on it. Which I agree with, dude. That was, dude, that would have been melting that fucking.

That ain't good. A lot of people were backing me up on the meat on the bottom. That's called the oyster. Meat on the bottom? Uh-oh. No, that's called an old kitchen sponge to me. Give me the white meat.

Also, nobody believed that you've never eaten a whole rotisserie chicken either. People were fucking in my DMs like, who does he think he is? I haven't, man. I've never crossed a whole bird. Sure. Honestly.

I believe you. I had ducked the other day. That was awesome. That's the fifth time you've told me that today. I don't know what response you keep looking for. It was that good. I had duck. Shout out to the peaking duck house in China.

Uh-huh. China? What? It's not. Jesus Christ, when'd you get back? He turned me. Chinatown, I'm sorry. He's gotta go all the way to China for a free meal.

Fucking talk about a goddamn turncoat. I trust you. Can't get you for a fucking slutty. Bring the classified documents and we'll straighten you out. Couple of Shumai and I'm in. Now we were in Chinatown. Walked into Chinese New Year and didn't even realize it. Just going down to get something to eat.

That's the thing that happens in New York when you're walking somewhere and you realize there's a purring and you're like, oh no, man. This could jam me up for two three days. Man, I hit the panic button real quick. Dragon chasing you down the street. What the fuck? Oh, never mind.

Happy New Year, everybody. I thought that peyote kicked back in. Yeah, it was a good time though, man. It was all right. You're the rabbit, boys. You're the rabbit. Look out. Kept this is all about freeze pipe, baby.

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Now back to that show. Back to the show. This computer is huge. I don't have my computer today. This thing's like fucking. It's got T-bones, whack book. I know. Jesus Christ.

Swear he hasn't used it, which that's a lie. For pleasure time. Yes, I haven't. Cell phone, dude, that's got to be a lock on it. Face ID. I believe him a little bit. I mean, this is company property, technically. The speed on that thing?

I mean, it flies pretty quick, too. Yeah, it is. I don't do that anymore, though. What? I don't watch those videos. I've been off. Yeah. I get off.

All right, let's see here. This one's from Ryan. First time, long time. Has anyone in your family made you slash a relative's tires because they were trying to drive drunk? When I was 12, my uncle had me do a little needle point on his girlfriend's golden accord one night. Whoa.

Man, that's a. Just take her keys, dude. Jesus Christ, locker in the bedroom, something. That's crazy, because like, although, I do know that argument of like, dude, give me the, like, trying to get the keys out of someone's hand. Like, dude, what are you doing?

Just fucking, I got to get home. I got to feed the goldfish or whatever. You're like, dude, fucking go to sleep. It's already four. You'll wake up, you'll get up and go feed the goldfish then. It ain't that important to get home, gang. No drinking and driving out there, all right? Be responsible.

There's nothing more annoying than a blacked out person. Oh, I mean, I've probably been that guy before. For sure, trying to, you know, but it's like, dude, what are you doing? Call a fucking oobs or something. Back in the day though, in the 90s, man, I remember seeing like older, older, like, you know, friends of the family are like,

ah, John, no, no, come on, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And that was it back then. That was it. Every, it was a very different time. To the point where I remember they started putting up the signs like, DUIs are for real. And they're like, what are you talking about? Get out of here.

Like, that was like a thing when they're like, you know, they're finally going to start enforcing them. It's like the Easter Bunny back then. I know. I remember there was like a huge blizzard or something like that. And the adults all started getting tuned up somewhere. And somebody wanted to drive home there like, ah, all right.

But it was like two feet of snow. So he literally was like, whew. There was nobody out there. One of the homies got one in Chicago and everyone was like, how? You never hear about that happening in the city. Yeah. I've been partaking in a beverage,

in a car in the city, not here in a different city that I used to live in. Shmila Shmelfia? Shmila is the real adult. And I got caught in the car by a cop next to me in a light. And I was like, I'll dump it out. I'm so sorry. Cause ah, I'm fucking with you.

And just fucking blew a red light. I was like, later dude. Shot your tires out, kept going. Pussy. Gave me fireworks. Told me to be safe. Yeah, it's just like the city, you know, obviously the, you know,

cities tend to have bigger issues at hand or whatever. Don't want to deal with all that people. I think you could walk around with booze in New York now. No one would really give a shit. Yeah, I don't know. Never see the heat that much, rolling around. Like they used to. Yeah. Never really see it.

I don't know. I'm not on the subway. Subway's like I used to be though. I'm not riding the rails like a fucking goddamn hobo from town to town. They were dirtbags down in the West Village at night with their souped up cars. Just fucking doing that fucking bullshit.

I was like, what a fucking cops. Get these fucking, let's take their cars, slap them around a little bit. They're fucking losers with that shit. Yeah. I can't fucking stand it. Fucking firecrackers, fucking dork. It's a Saturday night.

What are you doing? It's getting laid, probably. No, they're not. He's sitting there with a bunch of other fucking losers in a line, revving their engines. People got work in the morning. Fucking dumb. I hate that shit.

You're the coolest guy I know. I know, Jesus Christ. Trying to eat over here. Somebody started yelling at him. We're like, you're a fucking loser. He's like, nah, man, that's money. He's fucking screaming back and forth to each other. I don't know.

It is annoying, but it's like. It's kids, what are you gonna do? Yeah, it's also, I mean, I don't agree, I don't disagree with you. But this. I tell you to get off my lawn if I can afford one. Yeah, you do fall into old man foley sometimes. Walker, that be where a dog sign at my back?

It's always like, you know, he always got someone new you don't like, and it's usually for them not doing it like them. He's got damn bikers, or he's got damn pedestrians. Wow. That's crazy. You're getting older, I can tell, cause you always got a bone to pick with somebody.

Getting real crotchety. Yeah. Really? Really letting the young generation, you know. Yeah. Let them have it, open them up. Which I don't disagree with. It needs to happen from time to time.

Sure. Ain't my rock and roll. Still rock and roll. You love that Harry Styles though. I love Harry Styles, he's all right. All right, let's see here, DJ Van Damme. I believe from La Jolla, if I remember correctly, the Van Damme family, remember them?

The wrestlers. Of course. Shout out to the Van Damme family. Shout out to the Van Deezels. Down there in sunny San Diego. What was your go-to underage drinking spot? I assume bar. Let's do bar for the first one.

And also, how did you use to procure at a prod, the place you used to procure at a younger age? This is good. This is good. So our setup was freshman year of high school. We had our group of guys and a group of girls. All right, that was a little friend group. One of the girls whose parents did really well

and traveled every weekend, they were gone every fucking weekend. She was a freshman, her sister was probably 20, 21, would watch her. We would all sleep over at my buddy Eric's house on Friday and Saturday nights and just go over there. In the middle of the night, literally 10 of us would sneak out like the dirty dozen

and fucking go down the street, make a left. The dirty 10, but yeah. Go over there and booze the sister would hook it up. Then when we started to get into the age of fake ID and maybe an older relative that we kinda looked like, there was a place in Norristown called, I guess I shouldn't say it, they're still in business, but they've re-upped.

It was a place that we used to go. It was like a corner bar that had to go beer. That's a big thing in Pennsylvania. I don't know if everybody does that. Yeah, that's like they have it up here. No, not really, a lot of bars in Pennsylvania have takeout where you can go and there's like coolers in the front that they're only allowed to sell up to 12 packs

because Pennsylvania is a Quaker state and it's all those Puritan rules. Sure. The government, the state government sells all the liquor. You can in a few places now they started selling wine and stuff, but you can't buy liquor at anywhere, but a state, they call them state stores. No, now grocery stores.

Yeah, but that's still a department of, that's still like under the wing of the state. And you're not allowed to buy the hard liquor. It's only wine and beer. Oh yeah, that's right. I think they're playing with it in some places or whatever. State store, we could. Yeah, they're called, you go to the state store.

They're closed on Sundays. There's one in like the five town radius and so it's like, on Sundays and you also could used to not be able to buy cases of beer on Sunday. The beer distributors were closed. So Saturday, you'd have to fucking get your beers for the Sunday, you know what I mean? Unless you would buy, then unless you'd go,

you'd have to buy like fucking 10, 12 packs if you were part of it. Sure, so if you were getting after it. So that was big. You could always go to like try to get takeout at like a dive bar that didn't really care if you had something that, that was for us to get, underage to get some bevvies.

Yeah, yeah. Shout out to Ray Ann's Lickers on Montrose and Ashland in Chicago. I went in and the walking dead had just come out and I heard. I walked in, I was a zombie. We're a lady killer, huh? And the guy behind the counter was talking to his brother,

family owned spot about the first or second episode and I just watched it. So I was like, oh man, that show is so good. We were chatting them about the walking dead. My kids wouldn't shut up while I was watching it though. So I watched every episode of the first two seasons. So I knew what I could, so I had some conversation to keep it going with that.

That's pretty smart. But 20, I mean, you're right there. We're talking high school. We had, where were you, where were you scoring in the freshman and sophomore year? My boy had a Michigan ID. Yeah, there you go. Damn, in high school he had a Michigan fake ID.

Oh yeah. And then left that fly in North Carolina? In Massachusetts. Ooh. Oh, that's right. I'm visiting family. I'm staying with my aunt. She's old.

Back from the Navy. We had a place in Somerton that we would drive to about 10 minutes from the crib. And it was in August, we needed booze to go down the shore because we would procure the booze at home typically and then take it down a shore, cross state lines. Real bad ass guy. And that was always the thing.

If you got jammed up by the bridge, you'd be, you know. Sure. Because you're not allowed to, you weren't, back in the day, allowed to cross state lines with it. The cops would sit there and try to jam you up. That was always the war. But we would buy it in Somerton

and we sent my boy Vinny with the skinny. It was about 15, 16, we were driving, so 16 at the time. He was Italian. He went through puberty and probably about, you know, eight and a half years old, full body of chest hair. So it was August. So we sent him in in a wife beater and board shorts to be like, and like just had cash to be like,

if they ever asked him for ID, like I just rent from the pool or something. There wasn't a pool in the, there wasn't a pool in a 10 mile radius. Like, ah, I just came from the pool, you know? Oh, I don't have my ID. Just squirting it with a hose so we can go on a beer run. He's got flippers on and goggles.

I just came from the pool, swim lessons. Put his head in the microwave, give him a little tan. He didn't need it. He was olive. So then we had to, we had to send them in in a wife beater into like January, you know what I mean? To like keep like, hey, remember me? You know what I mean?

It was like that old bit from half baked. So he would, we would just send them in and he got cool enough with them that that was the plug for a long time. Head down to Somerton bed. And then I got an ID. The parents was, was not a bad move. If you were smart with it.

But you can never get enough. Yeah, I was like, that you, first of all, it was too risky. You were rolling the dot. Also, I wouldn't get in trouble if I drank. I would get in trouble for taking their beer more than drinking their beer. Sure.

You know, more than underage drinking. They'd be like, you stealing my beer? You know, it'd be that. We, my buddy's dad drank porter. I don't know what that is. All porter. All porter. Dark beer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, fucking bottles of that out on the back porch, not even refrigerated. Warm beer was. I think it was a yingling porter, if I'm not mistaken. I could be wrong. I thought I think it had like seeds in it.

It was like drinking a Fig Newton. Fucking brutal, dude. Yeah. But, the trick. When you're chasing the dragon back at a young day, you got to do what you got to do. You know what I mean? We used to do night train.

What's that? Night train wine. Get that from the state store. I don't know how we were able to pull that off, but we did one bottle of that and you were good. We would just do cases. We went through a bunch of phases. It started with MGD, which we called Liquid Gold.

Sure. It then switched to. Tell you what, man. Highlife. Screaming MGD. It's all right. Wasn't bad. It was great, dude.

The MG Bangers, Liquid Gold. We also did. That's Miller Genuine Draft. We would do Highlife and Highlife Lights. We're fucking hard to come by, but they taste great. Highlights are all right. Yeah, but Highlife Lights were good, dude. I don't know if I remember that.

Yeah, they were tough. Instead of the red and the yellow, or the red and the gold, it was silver. Oh. It was real fucking. I think we would get ponies of them to begin with. Ponies are all right. Whacking ponies, dude.

Whacking ponies. Put down a case of ponies. Not bad. That Miller light, Coors light, the Bat Blues, we call it big and tasties. We do them in a winner. And remember Molson came out with Molson XXX. It was like Google that.

Molson XXX dropped. That was in the 90s when they started fucking with that 5.0 and all that stuff. No, this was like heavy. This is before like IPAs. You'd have to split a six or with somebody because you'd end up fighting each other. It was fucking bad, dude.

7.3 ABV on a Bat. Yeah, dude. Talk about devil's breath. This stuff was like motor oil. It was like, dude, it was, this shit. I remember we would each get a sixer of it. I think the first time we did, we each got a sixer of it.

And I'm talking like we all fist fought in Flip's kitchen. It like, everybody just got blackouts. What's your problem? All over nothing. One of the reviews is two and a half stars. It says two and a half. It's got an aggressive mouth feel. Yeah, dude, I'm telling you.

That's like the tonic of beer. That shit bites back, dude. That's hardcore to ice cold kid. Yeah, dude. We were barely, you know, we're, you know, I mean, we were drinking a lot but a lot of cores light and shit like that. Then you come in with that fucking heavy bike.

A nice wine cooler back in the day was a good transition. Bartles and James. Seagrams knew their way around a wine cooler as well. Delicious. Yeah. But and then liquor too, we'd always do like cheap vodka or something.

You know what I mean? That was big. I remember drinking aftershock. The blue or the red? The blue. Had the candy and had like shit in it. I don't know. I just know we have to shock from Ireland.

That's what they all drink. That's their like fireball or something. Yeah, yeah. It has like rock candy in the bottom of it or something. There was something in there. Yeah. We would do like, we would do screwdrivers. We would do, my buddy had a couch in his garage.

His parents like would, you know, kind of look the other way or we're oblivious. I don't know. You know, one of those families are like, I don't know what the fuck. They come out, just everybody's drinking out of red cups. We'd be doing screwdrivers of fucking pop off vodka and OJ, Wawa OJ, cranking Marlboro Milds.

The blue, like the medium menthol, all right. They were always buy one, get one too with the Exxon. Hey, they were giving them away. Man, when those would go on Bogo, a text would, a text to every dirtbag in Bunks County would go out and we'd converge upon a gas station just to fucking score free burnies. And did I remember I fell through a table,

piano, we were listening to Billy Joel. I was cranking heaters in a probably about a half a bottle of vodka down in screwdrivers. It's one of those things where the ground comes up to you. You know what I mean? Like, you don't move. You're like, I'm chilling. And then just out of nowhere did this,

this fucking one of those white patio tables did not stand a chance with my bad ass. I'm fucking, boom! Right through this fucking thing. Dude, there's nothing better than watching someone lose a fight to gravity. Oh man. And dude, there's some reason it just, it's like,

man, it's like Inception, where like the world shifts. It's like that, dude. And it just fucking, Buildings start folding in on themselves. Yeah, it's one of those. Elliot Page is running around. Yeah, cranking sigs on a dirty couch. Singing piano, man.

You knew your buddy was jammed up if they pulled up with a can of steel reserve and a pack of checkers. What's checkers? Oh, they were like discount sigs. Pretty sure they used the clippings off the floor of the factory to make those things. We didn't have that.

We didn't even have a still 40s and shit, really, until college at Temple. All you would go corner stores, we'd do hurricanes. Fucking get, you know, a hurricane to pregame was like the, was the status quo. That would twist you up real good. Beer pond with hurricanes. Good night.

Or something about on the thickness of those, the mouth feel of a hurricane. Some oldie. We never did that, really. Loved the oldie. Get your head on straight. I remember steel reserves would advertise more, now, new with extra gravity.

I'm like, fucking space beers, dude. Let's go. The fuck, dude, let's get lifted. Extra gravity, let's go. Yeah. I remember sitting in a dorm with two of them taped to my hand being like, what the fuck is extra gravity, dude?

We'll find out in a couple of minutes. I'll find out when I pee myself in 12 minutes. I remember we were playing Edward Forty Hands in the RA knocked on the door and nobody could open the door because we were fucking, I pretty was all taped up. Like, ah, one minute, man. Probably thought we were jerking off together.

RA sucked. What? The RA sucked. Yeah, that takes a certain kind of dork to fucking sign up for. I get it, you have to do it if you need the free housing and stuff like that, or the credits or whatever it does.

It does benefit people to take the position, but. Be cool, man. They would pop in. Don't be a fucking narc. They would pop in when you least expected it with the fucking security guys. At our school. All of a sudden, there'd be like this guy

with like a radio in the fucking thing. It's like, do you have a gun on you? If not, get the fuck out of my room. I can't kick rocks, dude. I'm trying to get laid over here. We would have to sneak beer into the, we had it because Temple was obviously, you know, obviously it's in North Philly,

which ain't a great neighborhood. So they had, you couldn't just walk in the dorm. You had to slide your card in and you couldn't just bring people. It was like heavy security to get in. And it would scope you for booze. They would be like, oh, what's in that? But you would hear like other dorm bag checks

or whatever. It was real fucking, they would get real tight with it. So I had a fucking great plan. I would take a dirty laundry. I would take like a, what are they, the hampers? Like the big, sure. Rectangle johns, like the hardwood.

The hard plastic ones. And I'd put two 30 racks in there and then stuff dirty clothes around it and stuff and just carry it in. They're like, what's in there? I'm like, just dirty underwear, man. Doing laundry. They gave me lots of 400 pounds.

Got a keg in there. We were getting all tuned up in my dorm and we got a knock on the door. And I'd just gotten caught with a bunch of weed and fireworks the same week. Who's lights fireworks in college? This guy's a loser. So they're like, I was like, I can't not get caught.

Saying that one guy's from Michigan. So I went into the bathroom and I pulled everything out from underneath the sink and climbed in underneath the sink and hid while they searched the whole place. Like Anne Frank, dude. Oh man. So my buddy.

It's a diary of Toby McMillan. I watched from the inside, inside underneath the sink. I watched the drawer get slit open while they searched it. And for whatever reason, they didn't look underneath. I was shitting bricks, dude. Dude, we're down in Wildwood state of flips house. We're probably about 18 at this point.

We're all just drinking at his house. You know what I mean? There's like seven of us just hanging out, drinking, playing cards, whatever. And playing drinking games. We get all fucked up. And me and Pat get into a fight outside. Like we're outside smoking cigs

and me and him get into it. Everybody I think gets into it. But like they call the cop. The neighbor yells out, we're calling the, we're like fighting in the street. That's, we would get drunk and fight each other, not other groups of people. Like, you know what I mean?

We just get so mad and end up, you know, wrestling or whatever, tussling. So me and Pat get into it. They're cops, we're calling the cops. So Vinny with the skinny had a, you know, two, three, four, five run-ins prior to this. So he was, you know, he's persona non grata with the five.

So he's got to lay low. So we're like, fucking, we all run inside. Act like, you know, we hide the booze, whatever. Like, oh, we're just chilling here. We weren't just fighting outside, you know? And cops never show up or they might drive by but nothing happens. And we can't find fucking an hour goes by.

Nobody can find fucking, nobody can find skinny. We're looking, nothing, not dude. He's proper in the garage in a trash can with a bag of trash on his head. Like bitch, I live in a goddamn trash can. Oh my God, dude, he pour like Vinny. What like that. We think he's brand away.

He's got kids. Now we don't know what the fuck the funds got him. He's proper posted up in a trash can for like two hours. He's got wallpaper on him. He's painted like Cinder blocks. Oh, that's great. We got a rapper up though on that. That was a good one.

Gang, we love you to death. Come see us on the road there. Yeah, a lot of dates. Maybe announced by now, I'm not sure yet. We'll see you next week. Peace.