Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Rich Vos!

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Rich Vos! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! Come to a live show! NEW LIVE SHOWS: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Fum: https://www.tryfum.com Promo Code: garbage Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

gang we're about to kick off the second leg of that state trashy tour. Oh yeah. Coming into the home stretch and I'll be left out in the cold. Make sure you get your tickets. Stand up comedy. Plus you play the lay wide you to crowd. Great way to introduce to people to the show. So grab the squad. Come out and see the boys. Yeah, guys, we're going to be in Pittsburgh Buffalo, Toronto. We're doing just out of the third show in Toronto. Get tickets for that because they're moving. We got Pontiac, Michigan, Chicago, Illinois, four show being out of there. Get those tickets. Minneapolis, Madison, Milwaukee, Sacramento, Sacramento, San Francisco, San Jose,

then we're, we're, we're ended it. And Philly, baby, what a bang. We had a second show with the film more. That's more than halfway. So now get those tickets. Let's party. Go birds. Welcome to another exciting edition of,

Are You Gabbitch? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Oh yeah. So a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians And we find that if they're good to be classy

Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash I'm your host a totally coming at you on a rainy day. We're out back here with Tuddy's in a new edition She's upstairs just slipped into a nice warm bath. Okay, and her jeans don't know why all right fair enough Okay, my co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He's the CEO of our you garbage He is an international businessman, but always the king of the boardwalk baby. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Wright. What up gang. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you're rave. You subscribe on iTunes full video available. YouTube as you know those numbers are Shruder of cooking, baby. And then obviously the greatest website of all time.

WWW.patrion.com slash RU Garbage. Check it out. It's a fucking party over there. And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer, extra one in there, the magic man makes us all look good, works to ones, the twos, the threes and the fours, he crosses the tees and he dots the eyes, give it up for T-bone and Scruff and Toby McMillan with everybody. What up boys?

The kid. I'm excited. We got a legend in here. And a guy who really will let you know why your shirt stinks. Yeah. You must say in here for about 30 seconds, start a touching story.

Yeah. Okay. Stinks. Fucking Geico, man. Fucking trash for me. Fucking cave man. Jesus Christ. Fucking two year run on a makeover show.

Not a bad way. I love it. Gang the long hair ain't lying, I'm just fucking two year run on a makeover show. Not a bad way, I like it. Gang the long hair ain't lying cause we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guests here with us today for the first time we wanted to have him for a while. We're very excited. He is a legendary standup comedian, actor, writer,

and podcaster, and you might have seen him in, but not limited to, you got the Sheppell show, American Dreams, top five, Jim Gaffey can show the king of statin island deaf comedy jam show time at the Apollo tough crowd Jimmy Kimmel last comic standing he's got two comedy central presents live at Gotham world's dumbest comedy dot TV the Jim Norton show parts unknown the Joe Rogan experience WTF cop show this week at the comedy seller of course open Anthony. He has an amazing podcast. My wife hates me and he's got a brand new special out right now 30 minutes with Rich

Watts. Give it up for the legend Rich Vos. There he is. This is fucking amazing because you forgot evening at the end. He also wrote for the askers twice. Twice. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh was 10 years ago, I was at the stand, he walks out of my holy shit, there's rich balls, he's like, who are you? And I'm going to Monroe Mars, I got to my buddy, he just moved to New York and you're like, see that, well, I had to bend or something at the time, he's like, you see that over there? I'm like, yeah, he's like, go pull it up for me. I'm like, all right, I was like, I guess this is how New York comedy works.

So I went to grab his keys, like, get the fuck out of there. Still my car. We were such assholes. Oh, I know. Like, if a seller like you guys came up from Ph We were such assholes. Oh, I know. Like if a seller like you guys came up from Philly, and like we would say, I don't, Kevin was already at our table,

would you know, put you in the knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, May you rest in peace Chris Came and you all came around me and started fucking smash I beat five of you He's going I'll take how many more fuckers you got out there bus pulls up out front But they got let's get for I think they wouldn't fuck with Patrice It was I don't know if people did hate us. But people said, they're just fucking assholes. You know what I mean?

I know, I guess every clue is... That was the table we wanted to be at. We always loved it because that's, we came up all Boston. You guys were like, just the older, we're like, that's where you want to be. You want to be, like, we did the same thing just around the corner of the village land there. Yeah, every time, every, every, every,

not, I just, I just, but no, but, I would have met, I think now it's, there's just, it's so much more later or we, you know, comics are, you know, they're scared to say something or a thing. I say something to some comic or day and to seller. And there was

some guy who was on a guy code or whatever and every booted it. And I said some joke and he goes, what's that about? And I was like, what's that about? You thin skin fucking bo'dak. What's that about? I'll tell you what it's about. I gotta take Dramamine talking to you. Okay, if I could stink. But, you know, I have sent apologies on these. I used to think when Folly stared at me, I used to think, oh, this guy wants to kill me. But then I do it to him. That's fucking hilarious. Man, you do it to him. No, I don't know. That's fucking hilarious.

Man, you, go, I'm sorry. No, please. You guys from Philadelphia, you guys came up and just took New York by storm. There was a lot of us, thank you. Yeah, there was a few waves of us. And, you know, everybody was very hard working. It was like, you know, it was very,

everybody was just like fucking beating the pavement, you know? Well, that's how we were in a Jersey camp. Like when me, Florentine, Norton, mainly I should, I mean, came from Jersey and just started working all the clubs in New York and fucking taking waitresses in the back. You know, I was gonna look at these fucking scumbags. They're bags from Virginia.

Virgin Pondle come in here. Take my women. Oh, they were such, they hated us. They're so much. Hated us. Still a little pet you're fucking wrong. Taking their women in their spots, I get it. Oh look at these Jersey scumbags You know

Well to be fair was you Norton and Florentine You guys are the Kennedys wrote within the fucking comic strip boss Fucking three creep roles Put your hand on your wallet He's leaving a room. I'm leaving a room, clap so he knows he's not stealing. No, I guess it's to every group and just see it. Now, you know, the transformation in, I guess,

every business but mainly in comedy, you know, with clubs on the road and, you know, some clubs just now they go, you know, they say, I want more money. They go, these were your numbers. This is what you sold. And I wanted to email back, no, that's what you saw. Sure. My job is to be funny. Yeah. Okay. If I wanted to get into fucking promotions or whatever, I'm not, you know, I'm not a marketing guy. I'm not a pee, yeah, marketing. Thank you, I'm not the bread to see that. I should have been marketing, but this fucking dumb jubic over here me.

With a system stupid. Anyhow, am I allowed to say that to my cell? Yeah, of course. I've been saying it all day. I was, why are you talking to a building owner? You know what I mean? So it's just, it's a whole new like during Fuck when I was when all of us are if I was when I was doing tough crowd or last comic

I any of those those back then if we had Instagram and Twitter, you know what I mean? We'd fucking be sure It's just we didn't have the door. Yeah, you know, the two years of tough crowd if we had an Instagram, you know, that was Graham or such a big show. Yeah, of course, you know, and that show Ground breaking. Groud was crazy. Yeah, it was a hot. It was a TV podcast so many people comics will come up to me And I'm sure everybody else on I used to watch that I know you know, yeah, you guys are the reason I did comedy and I don't blame me Your parents, I'm sorry But you know what I mean it was sure it was

There was nothing like it. I mean it was you know Bill March, but it wasn't like fucking tough crowd Yeah, no comics being comics bust in each other's balls and talking shit and that's what we learned That's what we yeah comics were I was like yeah That's I mean that we were doing that stuff with our own friends that grow up and you're like oh, that's what we learned. That's what we got comics were. I was like, yeah, that's, I mean, we were doing that stuff with our own friends that grow and up and you're like, oh, that's what comedy is. I like I sit around and break balls. Yeah. It's, you know, it's fun. I mean, we used to stand outside Boston comedy club. It was like usually at the end of the night, it was me Patrice Keith Robinson in Norton. To three in the morning. Smash on each other.

And you know, about this was gone. The Apollo was gone bill or yeah, a column, you know, whatever. And we we were just like the last four when no girlfriend or lives just fucking trend making fun of each other on the street. That's what we did to me got up and we It's a good time. It's fun. That's I look back and that was so much fun. I had in comedy

Yeah, I mean with petr me in Patrice. I mean this uh just you know Drive in and back to Jersey city and we're Walk into his apartment. I was going to I just told told the story, but we're walking him to his apartment, and he looks at me and goes, I don't have an agent, I can't get work, I got nothing happening, I go, you, I can't fucking know one time in and we're,

what we don't, and then we just both started cracking up and kept walking. Yeah, of course. You know, it's just what the fuck. Just it is what it is, baby. Yeah. Let's go back. Give us the, give us the backstory of Rich Voss, childhood, who's Jersey.

Yeah. Born and raised Jersey. Born and playing Phil New Jersey. I grew up. Well, I mean, I ended up in playing field. I was always in playing field, but in an urban section. Okay. Like my, I would come home from school in fourth grade nine years. And I

would listen to this comedy album, Von Meter. He did him. He did impressions of Robert and Sean Kennedy. Okay. Biggest comic back biggest career. Number one album seller. Kennedy's were shot career over. Oh shit. Talk about pigeonhole in yourself. This guy went from Park Avenue to Park Bench. He was, he didn't. It's a saying he went. Sure.

The date Kennedy was assassinated. Lenny Bruce went on stage and said, well, there goes, there goes one of on meters career. Damn. He said that night. So I diversified. I used to come home from school and listen to album every day. Was it a house? Was it an apartment?

City apartment. My mom raised and it hit me later on life. I'm leaving. I'm listening to this to cover the pain of my parents divorced. Sure of my father Who my father who passed away July 31st? Which was my daughter's birthday 16? I was in my 30 first, which was my daughter's birthday, 16. So I'm like happy birthday, grandpa's dead. Fucking narcissist dies on my daughter's birthday. So, you know, one last good job. He was nowhere to be found.

You know, to come every couple of weeks. Were they ever together, your parents? They were and they got divorced. But when you were young. Yeah, I was like nine years old. And how many were in the house? Well, did your brothers, my sisters? Yeah, my brother and my sister.

How old are they? He's dead, he passed away. Okay. It's all done. What does that mean? I know, I know. Jesus, wait till you hear about my dead career. You know, an airport story or something?

Yeah, it's a little bit. You knew comedy, right? People are there. It's talking about abortion. Anyhow, how much older was he than you? Airport story or something? You do comedy right people. Talk about abortion. Anyhow, how much older was he than you? No, he was two years younger, my sister's a couple of years older. Who is major money in life and did well.

Okay. So my mom raised us. Now we moved above my, after bouncing around every fucking place in town, because my mom was a secretary, raising three kids. Jesus yeah. You know, she had no fucking it. I mean, she went to college with a secretary.

We, my grandparents owned a multi-family house. Okay. So we lived on the second floor for free, luckily. Nice. I shared a room with my brother, my mother and sister shared a room. Okay. But my grandparents own the house and it was like they were, you know, and the block behind me was in front, the front of the house grew on the corner. The front of the house was mixed.

White people in the house is black. But the back, the side street was all black. Okay. Where I grew up. Because one, I always felt I didn't belong. I always felt well, I wasn't good enough for them, but I'm okay here because just a lot of broken homes and a lot of dysfunction. Lisa, you connected with them more? Yeah, Lisa, that's how I perceive things. So I grew up, you know

hanging out at Rudy's house going there Friday because I knew his mom was cooking fucking fried fish You know and try to get a plate a free plate of food You know, you know greens and you know block parties we had you know and I was the white kid And there was a couple others that would come around. We played sports and, you know, so I grew up always feeling not a part of it. Sure. Got you. Even when I hung and I had a lot of friends, I grew up playing sports. I was good, uh, you know, and then you start hanging, you always hung with dysfunctional kids. Sure. Because that's what I knew.

I smoke and pot and I work my way, becoming a fucking free based crack addict, years later. It's a good way to put it working your way. I put in years. I just started overnight. I'm not one of these TikTok sensations. I was working the road. This was a lot of work. Dime bags, 20 bags. You know, and after my mom, it took me time to realize

what a struggle she had in life. Sure. It takes you, I think you have to get older in perspective of like once you start earning and making a living like holy shit. Did she ever get out of that or were you always in that opposed always at your grandparents? Yeah, always. And then until I got old enough to leave, you know, I mean, Thursday night was, you know, she give us a dollar to quarter and we go get subs on Thursday night, you know, and I always had to get spiced ham and cheese or ballon.

I never had the money to get roast beef and turkey. Sure. And I'd be with friends and get roast beef and turkey. And I'm like, what the fuck? Why can't I get roast beef? And it's so dumb. You're thinking, but you know, God, she struggled. My mother to race for to race three kids. Honestly, you know, and I was a fucking asshole smoked and you know, doing drugs. I had a I smashed her car. You know, I was in New York. One eights. Well, one dude, I owed drug money. He burnt towards her car. I owed him. Jesus Christ.

Car. You want to tell what the fuck? This is when I was in my 20s. You know, I still when I was a drug addict. You know, I stayed at my mom. She moved now. She had an apartment. Okay. Because her parents died. Her brother and sister She had an apartment. Okay. Because her parents died. Her brother and sister sold the house. Got you. You know, how to get out. She get a little piece of that.

I think so. Sure. Yeah. You know, and, you know, I stayed at her house, I'm part, you know, in Plainfield, sleep on the floor in the living. You know, it was a one-bedroom apartment. Yeah. And I was a fucking drug addict, you know, in Plainfield, you sleep on the floor in the living, you know, it was a one-bedroom apartment. Yeah. And that was a fucking drug addict, you know, doing shit gigs, whatever.

You were doing stand-up at this point. Yeah, that's what you call it. Okay. I was a hustler. I used to book one-nighters, so I can get on stage. Okay. And other guys, bookin' one-nighters, we would trade. I always hustled.

Yeah. And the cityers, just in Jersey. In the city or just in Jersey. OK, it was just in Jersey. Yeah, but if there was a guy, a comic and long island book and one nighters, I would have him do my room. And you go do his. He go over there and do his. You know, so I hustle.

As a comic, I hustle. I remember sitting with some agent or whatever, and I go, I'm going to be fucking big at this one day. I was arrogant. I don't know why. I was fucking stuck. I stunk up to about a week and a half ago. I feel that special, David, maybe. So we had no money.

I never had money. Like if I needed new sneakers, I would rip my sneakers and go, and my mom had no money. You know, she had no fucking money. When did you start working? I had no money. You know, she had no fucking money. You know, and... When did you start working? Well, my grandfather who owned the house was a contractor.

Okay. So I started working for him. How old? Well, the first year I was 16, but we got a couple miles into car and I threw up. I got a car sick and he took me hard so I went back I went back not cut out for manual labor I was thinking to the job site yeah I was really so put the hard head on

so I I you know I guess 17 18 you know my cousin took over to business okay fucking asshole you know but I then my cousin took over to business. He was a fucking asshole. You know, but I don't get along with the family. I was there, Rich. Some of them, I wouldn't let me throw up anywhere. I mean, you know, remodeling from my, and then I started, I had the biggest painting business in my town.

You did? At when I was 22, I mean, I had seven or eight guys working for me back then at like eight dollars an hour, okay, so and we were doing Major Victorian houses big Inside outside the whole mostly outside, but I would do some inside work I mean, I would you still on the junk at this point too, right? No, I'm just partying. Okay. I'm not you're not full blown at it. You're still on the junk at this point too, right? No, I'm just partying. Okay. I'm not. You're not full blown at it. You're a bad one.

We get more. I mean, no, I'm getting a party and everything. We're going to bars and picking up. Painters, man, painters always play it fast. They're sitting in the board and got pain. They were really, really. I'm telling you, I had long, fuck, I could show you pictures. My hair was down.

I fucked up teeth and I was getting put girls were throwing pussy at Anyhow this was back you know in the road bus Yeah, such an old dude I was swat and pussy away, okay, I mean I would end up fucking girls that look like him From behind walk up and go hey and return right off fucking I mean, I would end up fucking girls that look like him. Oh, God. From behind, I'd walk up and go, hey, and they turn right off. Fucking.

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The number one in town. Victoria. We go. Who's it called? I guess for us is paying. No one was called, but I was a scumbag. You know, I party. No, I just apologized.

I took my cousin, second cousin's house and I saw, uh, you know, I fucking, I would get during the winter. I had no money, no, and I would take deposits on houses to do in the spring. Cause then people want them. Sure. And I would spend their fucking money. And then I would take like more cans and pour like fucking shitty Dude, I've never I've heard of that in the bar business with

He's keeping the plates spinning. I tell you another business Anyhow, so... Swapping paint. Swapping paint. You just got a big block in a white house. Paint the house and by the time we're driving away, it's peeling. We were painting a funeral home. We did it every year because it was big. And they had this awning.

And I was friends with a family, a big funeral home in my town. He goes, I don't give a fuck what you do not get paint on this owning. This is a fucking gigantic owning. Do not get paint on this. So we put drop cloths. We made a look. There's no way we were getting paint on this fucking owning.

We dropped a plank through it. No paint on that, though. Well, fucking, we're sending a plank from a ladder to here to walk right through the awning. Hey, good thing we had the drop walls on air. I know, that's how, okay, so the business fucked up. I got into sales, you know, back in the day, people were selling shit out of trucks, meat and sea.

Sure, I remember that even in the 90s, 2000s. You were doing that? I did that for a while and then my truck. I just get to meet because I've seen that in New York back in the day. Well, they used to be companies. They you go. You are a subcontractor for the company. You go there and you get into fucking food was amazing.

You know, this is when me and my two friends had an apartment. We had a nice fucking. We had the biggest Halloween parties. All we did was party and I would take like a stake at every box or some clay. I should have been fucking people, I fucking would have a nice stake. You know, like, oh, this is,

these stuff mushrooms feel light. Yeah, that's because you're chewing on rocks. So, I mean, the food wasn't me. So, that's because you're too wrong. So I mean the food was a me. So one time I get a paint in there. I put it. I put it. These clams are Benjamin Moore. I swear. So I put it anyhow. My car got robbed. My truck. Okay. I know who

did it. He was a heroin addict. I couldn't, you know, and the company came after me and then. so I was out of that. So then we started me and my roommate, this business was fucking amazing. This is a good story. I took that idea of selling meat and I would rent vans and we went and got hanging plants, wholesale from the growers. Okay. You know, and we would pitch.

We'd walk into a salon with like fucking six hanging plants. And hey, we got hang and they would sound like fucking crazy. That's a pretty good hustle. And I just see back then, Hagen plants are older. It's a notice in a corner. Yeah. I would be at the strip mall and I had the plants out and I'm pitching people and then I dropped my partner off and he'd come walking up

And he would buy like three then everybody starts buying My best one got to create the man, baby. I'm telling you my best one was We're I got shit. We're pitching people on the street usually would go and but sometimes you pitch people on the street I imagine you have to be pretty good at that. If you didn't become a comic, you would have been paying the smoothies. You would have become Billy Mays. No, I was offered, we went in a Merrill Lynch, and the guy goes to hire today if you want to be a stock broker.

I'd be either a millionaire or in jail for insider trade. Sure. The latter probably. Yeah. So picking up on this. I mean, the painting business went belly. Yeah, they rated his house. There's not a bunch of house plants and a bunch of steaks. And Benjamin Moore can't do it. So one time we're pitching people on the street.

And I see this car pulled up. And it said empty plates. So we had just right, but we had one hanging plant in the van that was bigger. It cost me $10, $12. And then we had just right but we had one hanging plant in the van that was bigger cost me $10 or $12. He comes out he goes what he got here. I don't plan for some plants because what's that in the van I go don't worry about it take a look at this. That's it. And

then he's like no what do you got in the van I go look that expensive. What do you want here? You know, what's in the any cap? I go, I go, I go, that's like a hundred fifty dollar plant. We usually sell those to lawyers and doctors, but I saw them de-place and that fucking ego bought a ten dollar plant for like a hundred fifty. I was fucking the man that day. Yeah, I could have tell you shit already. I was, I felt like a club owner in Philly. I

I I So you know so I always had businesses and but I always felt like the plants I I I got to run into that guy and pay him I I please tell him somebody money 2000 for the plans. Oh I owed paint every paint store money because they give me cray You know I was a fuck up. That was 30 years ago when you got sober Did you go back and do that like right the wrongs? Is that part of that? You're like you got a run into that guy?

I skipped that I Made it seem like I got a bump into that guy. It seemed like a whichever fixed the owning at the funeral home They did the thing is with the paint stores. I owed I with my ex-wife we filed bankruptcy So all that was a race sure nice. That was a race with my ex-wife and I had good credit back then How's the credit now over 800 you're talking to make for us one S one S I dropped the second S He's a bomb. We love to last S for shape

drop the second as the bomb. He left the last as for shape. So, so. That guy died now, so we had one of those. So, so, okay. All that was erased. But if I ever did run into the plank guy, I'd tell him something. Sure, break them all. There you go.

I don't. You're a good guy. No, I feel, you know, look, a dude came up to like when we had an apartment in roommates. One of my I was missing $700 was stolen out of my room like fucking I blame one room and it wasn't him. Ten years later this dude who was a roommate of mine and I was already sober. He's getting sober he goes hey listen I got into I stole the money. I got well. It's good. Don't drink. Yeah, you know, yeah, we all we all did fall. That's sure what we were high and 100%. You know, I was a fuck up, but I, it's so weird. I grew up with nothing.

I listen, don't get me wrong. I had a roof over my head, my mom, you know, whether it would be fucking tuna and peas on toast, which was delicious. Yeah, that ain't bad. Yeah. Tuna and peas cooked, yeah, it's all right. Whatever it was called with cream tuna, with peas was fucking off, you know. So she did the best she could.

I, myself, I guess you could, I gave my kids pretty much everything they needed in life. And my two older daughters who are pregnant now both have houses, you know, both married, I mean, my one-door married a black dude, but he's like, I'm only kidding, I'm not allowed to say that. He doesn't care. He has no sneaker game. He buys mids. I bought a deep cut.

No, you know, my older daughters are doing great. You gave them a life you couldn't have. That's very out of my life. My 16 year old is, I mean, her room's a mess and, you know, whatever, but she's a straight A student. It's great. You know, Bonnie's a great mom. They're fighting now, her and my daughter.

She's not talking to, which makes me happy because she's talking to me. There you go. You know, hey, look, I don't know what you did, Bonnie, you fucked up, but she's not mad at me. Hey, I mean, you're the side kid. I don't know what's going on. So I, you know So everything worked out.

My parents, all the dysfunction I grew up with, and this is cookie cutters. I'm not going deep. I mean, you know, obviously. It's just, you know, anybody dealing with a single mom raising three kids. It's tough. It's tougher. It's tougher. Very hard, especially with no real education. Luckily, we had my grandparents that took us. Sure.

Yeah, it's a lot more. You know, but after they died in the house, the soul, she was on her own, but we were older. Uh, any pets going back? We had a one dog spot. Uh, spot wall back when I was a little kid when I remember my dad would, I guess he was living with us. Remember him waking me up one night. And he goes coming with me. We were we had this gigantic apartment, but there was a porch that went all the way around. And I went and I go sleeping every night here in noises, scared to death.

You know, and he woke me up and there was a train set, the size of it. And I'm looking at an amazing guy. Man, I don't even like trains. But it was the fact that he did a couple of bucks at a paint store for that. It was, he said to, you know, and when he was around, I mean, he was cool. He would, I don't know. He would take me places. I was he said to you know and when he was around I mean he was cool he would I don't know he would take me places I guess he was gambling you know I saw I probably picked up my old man. Oh right yeah yeah yeah my grandfather was a big gambler.

And you said your dad was in and out what did he do for a living was he in the area? He's always always something. It's last 40 years probably was a uh, travel agent, but it was it. It was funny. He he brought me home a signed album from Tom Jones. Oh, thanks for the end of some of your own Tom Jones. Yeah. So I'm doing ONA radio. I mean, I'm doing Norton Kim and Sam. I do all the

big radio shows. And I texted him this morning. I go, how bad is morning radio that I'm listening to you two fucking zeros Shout out to Jim and say yeah, go it's a love up. He was the best man in my wedding. Jim anyhow Tom Joe You know Tom Joe so Tom Jones was doing radio I go my dad said he was friends with you or knew you so boss he goes Joe was your dad no shit He goes yeah, we used to party. He used to bring the girls. I'm going that fucking scumbag

Yeah, right in my mom We used to throw parties in Vegas and we don't you know no shit then he started he was in a car He was always in some kind of scammy business or some sounds familiar some kind of scammy business or some fucking sounds familiar you have a little bowl too far from the tree there Rick alright fucking Google I shut your mouth Google I'm fucking I'll take it I'll be smashed by an owl you fucking

look at my chest and tell me if I have a spot x-ray fucking vision eyes I'll be smashed by an owl Look at my chest and tell me if I have a spot X-ray fucking vision eyes Fiat smash by now That's funny So you know, but listen, you know, in life Uh-huh And this is You are where you are when you're supposed to be there. Yeah, if you believe that

everything everything Look Everything in life that I've been through, drug addition, recovery, divorce, kids, to me is what made me a better comic. Not sure. I don't want to say great, even though I am. I don't want to say it because then people think he's an arrogant, you know, you know, I fucking guys like him.

Oh, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, some day you could be. Who's he talking to? Toby? Toby. Yeah, I'm not going to tell you guys like, hey, I'm still talking to, I was listening someday you could be. Who's he talking to Toby? Guys like, hey, I'm still talking to Tom Jones. You know what I mean? So, uh, and to me, you know, some of the best comics into me. I mean, there's all kinds of styles, but our comics from here, sure, That lived a life. Yeah. That you get you when you walk away.

You make a connection with them emotionally. You were like, oh, I was in a moment like that. I've reacted like that to certain things. Yeah. Of course, emotional. You know them. Like you can walk away from some comics. Go, they were funny.

What do you say? I don't know. I don't know. You know, like you, if you, you watch stand up, you'll go up. I'll never be that funny as long as I look or he's so you know, yeah, and there's so many great comics and I watch, you know, Metzger's fucking really killer, you know, I saw this guy Chris Porter. I watch him and I don't use you watch Come fucking Shane used to open for me. Yeah, I play. She's got the gilly killer whole another level, you know, you watch Maria Bantford people might not like her But she's fucking really fucking green has been for a while. Yeah, super talented my wife so many people have stole her style

For a few years. Oh my wife's style. She's she's an icon, you know for female comic. Yeah so And but just comic state like you watch somebody like Brian Regan who is as funny as anybody alive, you know, but if people don't know him to go, what the fight? Is this guy crazy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd have to read it. But if you, if you're no comic and you watch him or you're his fan or whatever, you go, you can't get funny. Yeah, of course. And but he's the complete opposite of someone

like a standhold. Gotcha. Or a Patrice or, you know, so good comedy. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I mean, look, people make fun of countertop. He's the best prop actor is. Sure.

If you're going to do something, be the best. Yeah. No, I agree. He's been in Vegas for who knows how many years millions of dollars. Probably writes 400 jokes a year. Yeah. That's a lot of millions. So, you know, whatever. Um, any family vacations mixed in there at all. When you were a kid, you're the Jersey Shore. Oh, yeah. It would drive us my aunt's own houses and be chave and long beach. Sure. Okay. So they let us come for a week. Well, there was one

time I think we rented a house from my father and mother. I think we're together. Yeah. The old fucking big Chevy round cars. I remember driving down to beach. But any vacation was if my aunt let us stay at the house. You know, we always love my aunt. I had an aunt and an uncle. My mother had a brother and a sister. And their families did very well. We were the black sheep of the family. Sure.

And I was the blacker sheep of the black sheep. You know, I was family dinners. They make fun of them. You know what I mean with all the cousins. Anytime I talk to you, it gives me fucking anxiety. Because you're getting real. You're talking about families. Yeah, yeah, yeah him, it gives me fucking anxiety because you're getting real. You're talking about boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm having a fucking anxiety attack. Let me drink more coffee. Yeah, that'll help some more cold brew in here for

us. So not really fail me vacation. I did get to go to camp one year, not sleepover. It's just like a day camp or so. I went to the playground as kids? Yeah. You know, every neighborhood had a playground in the summer, play knock hockey and tether ball and baseball. Sure. Go to the playground, that's what we did as kids. I feel like all your vacation circled around waiting till the heat died down.

Yeah. Yeah. Going off to respond. I know. What the fuck is it? What? I didn't fucking I didn't get that but I like you I think you're a good kid You're a good man all time

I'm sorry What's this guy deals fuck what the fuck what a happy respect Flynn Selling bad meat in the center of the road Skipping off the top yeah, well, look at you got to get you got to survive Hey, yeah, you got to cover red baby. I know we didn't have vacations as a kid And let's move out of that killing very well now. Yeah, let's move to once you once you became once you started your legendary status as rich boss. Once you started doing well in comedy. What, what, what about it? When did I show you? Yeah, what year's that? Oh, uh, what was your first big year?

What was your first big year check? And did you make any stupid. I think the biggest year, the first biggest. I was doing TV shows like evening at the improv a lot of those comedy on the road All those dumb, you know That comedy jam. Yeah, yeah, I was the first white guy. I did defconning jam and I call clubs and hey I did that we don't use those acts here, you know, the white clubs. I'm sorry. I'm not fucking earthquake or, you know, a natural disaster. I'm just trying to, you know, but there was a I was doing urban rooms back then. You know, and but I didn't when it came to that, you know, dev jam, uh, the Apollo B. I did everything you could do.

And was last time, I'm standing. That was the biggest. Okay.. And was last comic stand. That was the biggest. Okay, so I was doing ONA. And they were big back there. They were huge. They were fucking big. Yeah, they were as big as you can get. And I would and tough crowd.

And then I was offered last comic. And I go, I don't think I'm going to do this reality. I don't know, you know. And it would have been the biggest mistake of my life because after I did I mean it was the first season of Las comic it was so fucking big we I would go places it was making people yeah people would recognize, you know my daughter was getting so man They were young quit staring at them, you know, we go place, they didn't know. They were, I don't know, 14 or 12.

And so I, you know, I had last comic standing, tough crowd, ONA, all at the same time. And when you have three big things at the same time, you're a fuck them. So, but I would never move to LA and leave my kids. I said, I'm standing in New York, you know. You were living in the city at the time, right? Jersey.

So you married to your first wife. No, right? We were separated. I was already separated. Yeah, I was living in a third floor apartment and, you know, and going on a road and doing whatever. Yeah. And then how did it work?

You know, I just milked everything going on tour. I just hit in the road. Yeah. I mean, now I'm making real money. So for, we did eight months, eight or 10 months meet Korean day from last comic, which I set up the tour through the agent I had at the time. Who's the biggest agent in the business now? Berkowitz used to work for Dorfman,

who was my manager, whatever. We were selling out Thursday night, two shows on the Thursday, like District 600, 700 P.O. I just making stupid money for me back then. So that kind of died down, but then I'm still on the road by myself. And the other two I was on the road with, they had, you know, they were kind of like primitonus.

They thought that I knew it wasn't gonna last. And there are assholes. Hey, you know, where's our M&Ms or whatever, you know, I go, look, I was already headlining this place. Don't fuck this up, girl. We got a good thing going. And I stole the evidence I

Stole I switched a green one So For blue I told so so when those when those checks were rolling in was there any dumb purchases? Did you go out by jewelry car a house? He's wearing four Super Bowl I've never seen anyone wear five rings. I was at ONA and we were gonna do a tour. The tour, I went and bought a Mercedes. Before the tour. Before the tour.

That's dirt bag logic and I love it. I love it. Yes. I bought a Mercedes and then the next day because the six, that's, that's the third sex thing. They got canceled and day after I bought my Mercedes, the fucking tour was out the window

See class and the car was he's got plants in the back Car was down burn him So okay, was that your first nice car? Cuz you like that you like nice things. Yeah, you do what I've always respected, I unabashedly love nice things. We're getting into it. You had humble beginnings, but you do have a lot of class in you.

It's got a roly on right now. It might be fake. I'm not sure. No, no. My teeth cost $70,000. Is that what you paid for? No. Yes, do you?

They look great. So yeah, I do like, I didn't have to go on them. Brakes about the great. They look great. So yeah, I do like Love it. That's old school new Jersey Jewish guy. See that Moa right there. That's five G's I had a sell-out through five boats. It pulls out corn on the cop. He's ain't going nowhere Mercedes was the first nice car you got first real yeah and had a shitty Mercedes before that because Patrice had a Cadillac I go well fuck him you're you know what I want to do the shitty Mercedes that does those five trying to outdo each other must have been fucking great so

then I got the real but he shows up with a jet fighter no he showed up with Kevin so I I went yeah it was a brand new Mercedes. That's great. And you bought it. You didn't lease it. I don't lease. You don't lease. No, I'm a buyer.

Leasing is like fucking rented. To me, you buy a house. You don't rent. I rented for years. You know, I mean, I guess if you're in New York, whatever. But listen, we just sold our last house because we bought a new one this summer. Big fucking built in pool, in ground pool. I don't know what you call it. I grew up, we call them built in, you know,

fucking big ass house. You know, and we sold our other house and I made profit. You can't make profit. Renton. True. Got you. I am. You can't make profit rent and true got you I am you know you can't make profit rent and leasing They're making money they want people to lease because whatever. It's no. Yeah, what happened to the Mercedes Did you sell it or just hang on a better car? I just Was did you ever regress back out of mercy or what are you driving now driving a Mercedes now? Lexus Lexus. Yeah, you did have a beamer for a while. I remember the beamer. You're a luxury car guys.

This is how empty I am. I bought a fucking brand new Lexus last year, the ES350, the big one. I went in to get it serviced. It wasn't even 11 months old. And I went in, I guess I was depressed that day. And I walked out with a newer one. I'm treated it. I respect it. This guy, you're me, boss. When I fucking did it.

I came out with a new car. Yeah. That was the sports one. Something to fill the time, baby. Yeah. All right. I was just in out west. I play Pebble Beach and you say I meet the richest golfers on the planet. I friends, semi club, whatever. And they're let me use their Audi for a week. I almost came home. With an Audi. And bought an Audi. I almost did.

I go, you haven't even had your new Lexus for fucking six months. I pay it off too. I don't know nothing on it, you know. Oh, you buy them cash? No, I go in trade in my other car. Right. Get whatever. Get whatever out of it.

Go 10 grand or whatever. I got a 10 grand payment. So each out of it. Go 10 grand or whatever. I got a 10 grand payment. So each month I send a thousand bucks a month. For 10 months, you knock it out. So I don't know anything on my life. But now our fucking mortgage doubled from my last mortgage. But the fucking house is big house.

It's, let me see if I have a picture of just part of my weight room in the basement. It's just one in the room. Waste in the room in the basement. It's just one in a room. Waste room in the basement. Are you kidding? I got an orthodontist out there. No, my weight room. Oh, your weight room.

Why, what do you have? I think you've been a waiting room. I'm like, the fuck are you doing in there, Bob? You're writing half of it out. Put in a green room in the house. Wait, wait, wait, here's... That's very nice. This is out by the pool.

Wow. That's a nice. This is out by the pool. Wow. That's a nice pool. My wife's, look, she grew up on a sleeping on dirt floors. She grew up poor. Jesus. Jesus. She's in Canada. She was a farmer. She had to go have an operation and her parents put her on the bus and center across the country by herself at like 12 years old to have her fucking one of her organs taken out. Yeah. Cause they had they couldn't leave because they had a farm and it was cropping season. So yeah, so yeah, so you upgraded your your upgrade. Is there anything you got the pool the pool was already in?

Yeah. And did you put the weight room in yourself or was there a way? I had a way. No, I built I had I built to myself. And now what the fuck where is it? You know, this is really. I lose. I know. I'm not a consequence. I built to myself and now what the fuck where is it? You know, this is really blue So picture now you're freaking out

It comes with a clue So we believe you That's me and Clint Eastwood tree It's me and Clint Eastwood It's not even as homeless That's crazy You got to clean them glances No

I did it Oh wait That's me and Clint Eastwood Here's the picture at Tom Jones This is part of my weight Okay Yeah That's nice I like it I'm the heavy bag It's me and Clint Eastwood. Here's the picture at Tom Jones. This is part of my weight room. They're okay. Yeah. That's nice.

I like it. I hit the heavy bag. No, I hit my wife. No, I was comfortable. I knew I was comfortable. What a hack. Sorry. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you know, it's. Do you like the upgrade? Well, I do. More responsibility. It's a bigger not at the end of the month Yeah, my wife's careers will now this writer strikes fucking erupt but she after the right she's supposed to have a TV show in Canada based on her life growing up Okay, on her book. I got it finished It's like seven years ago for that. I would end it You get the force It's harry in a book, you know, I would end it. Yeah. You get divorced. What the fuck?

It's harry in a book, you know, and she slept with him too. So Jesus Christ, no boundaries, bitch. So, you know, she, you know, she goes, listen, she goes, look, your white trash to me, because you got to pull yourself out of the mud You know it goes you fucking think I Go up, you know listen I grew up where I Don't want look We sold our house. We got a big check. Mm-hmm. I have a

$500 win and lottery ticket. I can't wait to cash. Yeah, it doesn't even come close to the money That I can't get I deposited this morning but I won this you're like the actual yeah he likes to deal average boss wants to let his beat on something hey the daily number hits different I don't know what to tell you yeah hidden and not what are you kidding me at one one out of two games I said I was happy yeah fucking half a point to Rams. Last minute feel. How many are you buying lottery tickets every day? Yeah, you go. So you go to scratchers. Yeah, here's my goal. What do you drop a day on lottery ticket? You're the guy in front

of me at the counter going, give me 89623. No, maybe 60 70 a day. Maybe 60 70 dollar today. Look at old lady. Wait, is that on scratchers? You playing numbers numbers to numbers to numbers and scratch it. I'm not an asshole. I train me with some respect. Do you have your numbers to you?

You don't got to say that, but you got your numbers. Yeah, you go up. So like one, two, three box drape. And then I told like if I the worst is when you go in and Repeat it same place, right? You go to the same you go to your same spot. Yeah, but I get so mad on because I'll tell them a number And no fucking and I should do this bit on stage attacking now, but it's true They'll say the wrong number like don't fucking repeat them wrong because now I got to play the number they said sure Now you hear that number and you get a bad luck if you don't play that.

I hear other people. If I hear other people and they're saying numbers, I get out because I don't want to hear their numbers because I got to play their fucking dumb. You're a different kind of track. He's still doing 70 bucks a day scratch. What are you, what are you, what are you, what are you scratching the scratchers with? Do you have a dime? Always. Yeah, quarters too big.

It's too clunky. Dime slides that shit right off the fucking paper. Now do you play the whole game or do you just get you just scratch? I gotta play the game. You play the game. Yeah, I'm not sick. I'm sorry. Do you do them there in the store?

Do you wait to get home and then sit down and go back to the car? Yeah, my wife goes, wait, do we get home? I go, no, this is where we do them. Mm-hmm. Okay. I'm like an old lady playing big goters. I love it, man. You know, my hair's my, it's a fucked up fantasy.

What's the biggest you ever hit if you don't mind me asking? Uh, what's the biggest I hit? Probably four grand, you know, I don't know. Uh, what's the biggest I hit probably for grand time? You know, I don't know. Oh, for a while, I was hit in big. I won like five nights in a row. I won like third. I was hitting numbers like a mother.

This weekend I hit Friday and Saturday night in New York. Really? Two nights in a row. Yeah. Do you play in Jersey and New York anywhere I am at. When I tried to fucking Baltimore. I'll have fucking Jersey Pennsylvania Maryland

I assume when the drive to I'm sorry. I'm not gonna drive through Delaware and look and go I'll fuck one of my numbers came out. I guess I assume when the power balls up you you play that when it's like the two Mill through Bill you know whatever I play it if it was fucking whatever. Are you kidding me? He's a dude, he's anner. I love it. But, you know what, it sounds bitter, and I'm not, I love doing comedy,

but I just want to hit a scratch off, says a million dollar winner, take a picture of it, and go look, I want a million dollars. It's not enough to quit comedy, but it's enough to tell 10 club owners to go fuck themselves. And that's all I'm looking for. And you're the trouble.

It's all I'm looking for. It's a boy talking about hanging in resentment. Let it go. No, I still playing scratchers. Yeah, I quit on Mondays usually start back Thursday. Okay. That's not bad That's not bad. I play number numbers, you know, like the number. Yeah, yeah, the the pick three You got the Louis Vuitton wallet this guy Fucking guy like what is numbers in it?

No, the only guy. No, no, no, Louis Vuitton wallet has the numbers in it Only God no one's a Louis Vuitton wallet has the numbers in it I mean you're fucking something else or it I parked in a parking lot And I looked at what it cost to park and I wanted to go to the guy listen wanted we just do this in off the books off the Box and I'll give you 50 cash but I didn't I have time I wanted to run up. I didn't have time to negotiate with listen I'll spend 500 on dinner, but still I'll go to a garage sale Yeah, one this week my friend said go to their selling golf club and I drive there and it was shit I fucking go you just wasted 40 minutes on my Saturday morning. Are you in the market for golf clubs?

No, I got two sets. I want to dump I was gonna sell I had had three. And a friend of mine, I was, he's big on the golf. A friend, we were just talking about this. You're a pretty good player, right? Not this year, I am, but I lost, it'll come back. What's your average or whatever it's called? My, I mean, I was shooting low to middle eighties. It's great. So you would be most other comics.

Oh, yeah, some comics. Yeah, but now I'm not I'm I just lost it'll come back I'm doing something fucked up I What kind of what kind of sticks you got? I got good. We go what you got Calaway well, I'm a Calaway I got two sets of Cal I got apex and epics. I might go try. Do you play go? I played this we I play a couple times a year This my friend I this millionaire He sent me he just sent me this one driver. It's worth the doubt the shaft is worth 750 but he sent me this

Pudder it's worth five to seven thousand. I got it in the case It's a Scotty Cameron only a hundred made double beach, you know This other couple friends of mine I flew out to San Francisco and I did San Jose three nights there denny Payed for me to go into the clean east with golf tournament, okay for me to go into the Clint Eastwood golf tournament. Okay. You know, and I'm playing Pebble Beach.

These people are, I'm sitting next to them. I'm really an air jam. Million and billion, but a couple that put me up at their house, their friend, you know, she's doing the scratchers at the table. You guys got a dime? Yes. Don't think I didn't buy.

Lot of numbers in L.A. I'm sorry. California, but they're so nice, you know I met one lady when we had a radio show. Hey, I see her in LA. You want she took me to Bel air We became friends her and my one We're having lunch at Bel air. She goes my father won five Oscars and her father's John Douglas the composer. I don't know. He I'm an idiot. He fucking star wars Shindler's list. He's the biggest composer. Yeah, five Oscars. That's a lot. Okay. It's not you know what I mean It's not even John Williams. Yeah, what did I say? Douglas. I said John Douglas. Yeah John Douglas. I'm a fucking asshole

I'm taking star wars. No, somebody been'm taking a star Wars. No, John. Somebody been booze of you. No, John. John, John. Jim Camerrelli, you don't know where. Ha, ha, ha, ha. From Behold. John Douglas wrote the profiling books.

You used to profile it for the FBI. Yes, John Dodger. John Williams, sir. Gotcha. Uh, God, what a fuck I'm smashing for my stupidity. Jesus Christ, now he's gonna go back and tell all his bringers, hey guess how dumb Voss is. I'm sorry.

Hey, dude, you don't have any crystal light. Do you have a pouring in? We got liquid IV. Pearl will go garbage. That's a question though. Do you drink crystal light? Once in a while to make, sometimes I'll squeeze lemon in my water.

Okay. I like two very different things crystal light. Yeah, no, I like crystal light? It's been a while to make, sometimes I'll squeeze lemon in my water. Okay. I like, I like, two very different things crystal light. Yeah, no, I like crystal light too. It's probably gonna get me sick. Where are your food shopping now at the new house? Yeah, let's get into some garbage queues here. Okay, whatever you need. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Where are you, where are you food shopping out here in the new neighborhood? The same way we were two miles from our other house. Okay.

What do you go to? Shop right. You go to shop right. One cent a while. One cent a while we'll head over to Wegmans. Okay. Oh, if the number hits, you get Wegmans. There you go.

And if we're in the area, I go for coffee, whole foods, you can get the $5 for a bag at Whole Foods. For the bag of coffee. The bag of coffee. They have good coffee. And I'll go to Dunkin' Donuts and get bags, but it's only one, because you can get four for a certain price. The other ones are fucking whacking you out.

But you're really driving around town. No, I gotta pass it. I'm not going out of my way. Oh, okay. Well, our anniversary was, what's the date? Oh, yesterday I took my wayphalford in. I go, we'll stop it and they were closed. I was very upset. Are you doing the grocery shopping? Will you go

and do the order for the week? Uh huh. Will you go and do the order for the week? I'm a fucking headliner. I'm bagging my own grocery shopping. I'll go pick up stuff from, you know, that I want, you know, to take to golf or whatever. Sure. okay. You know, she orders it now and has a delivery. Gotcha. That's what a lot of people are doing. Yeah, the other day, they put the wrong order. And my wife calls it, this is somebody else's order and they go, we'll keep it.

Yeah, they can't take it back. Yeah, okay, so I know. And, you know, and she's upset because I had pool guys come and clean the pool and do some shit. She goes, look at him. Pool guys are supposed to be hot. So I wrote it. It's being him out there. I wrote this bag.

Oh, listen, it's a funny new bed. I go listen. We've been married 18 years. I go, look, if you're fucking somebody having an affair, just be honest and tell me so I can get hard. Hey, that's a good bit. Did you hear the proctologist joke? Oh, bunch of proctologists. Oh, this is a good one. I'm not all the sudden I'm Jackie. This guy goes in first, first prostate check. Folks, I don't tell jokes on stage. I do bits. I got seven albums. This guy goes out first first prostate check. Folks, I don't tell jokes on stage. I do bits. I got seven albums.

This guy goes out of sex to get a friend. This guy goes in and get his first prostate check. Dr. Goes, look, I noticed this is your first time. I'm going to put two fingers in your ass and twirl it around. Try not to get hard Tom. And the guy goes, my name's not Tom. And the doctor goes, I was talking to myself. It's like, good ones good one a good street joke. Isn't that a good one? That's great. All right. Okay. What else you want to know? Yeah, we go

Okay, you shop at shop right what are the what are the you mentioned? You'll go and get stuff that you want What are the are there rich only items in the house that like everybody knows that their dad's yeah Yeah, what's what would they be what he's snacking on at the house? Well, I like it I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie.

I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. I don what? You're gonna say like, Ritz or cookies.

No one's ever had emergency sorbines. It's not the 20s. Imagine you like that. That's what you're eating at the house? No, no, I'll take those on the golf course if I the last minute. So you tell him that you're a pebble beach, you're cracking open a can of anchovies.

No, I was on the road, not when I travel. When I travel, you know, but when you go play golf in your hometown, you'll bring a challenge, you know, if I don't have a sandwich, just in case of emergency, and you'll just eat the sardines right out of the thing. I bring a fork. No crackers or anything. Sometimes if we have them, it's not I'll eat them straight up, but they got to be boneless. I don't like the ones with the bones. You don't you have a half-star. Yeah, that'd be gross.

Yeah, I mean, I like it. Man, I was a great throw away. Right. Like, you know, like a Greek restaurant, I'll get like, you know, the fried sardines. You ever have them on the third hole? I mean, you never fried uh, fried baloney. Yeah. Yeah, we could try baloney.

It's good. It was good, man. Are you cooking it all at the house? Correct. Is anything? I don't know. I'm asking. Uh, once in a while, I'm making aegertoo for myself.

If I'm in a rut. I'm trying to eat better and better. Gotcha. You know, I was out in with these people this weekend. We went to restaurants every night. I mean, like a mania, you know, who's picking up to check when you guys go out? How do you work that out? Who me and Bonnie?

No, no, no, when you go out, I'll think other couples. I picked up breakfast and lunch, but not dinner. It was like 14 people. I'm not fucking spending 2000. I don't know. Sure. I don't even drink to fucking drink. Oh, yeah, it's a whole point.

Yeah, I was doing bottles of wine and shit than you're paying for it No, I but if I go out with you know, I'll pick up with friends or comics I got you know whatever I'd say you and Keith when I did dinner who's picking up that check? Well, he can't I Man, that's cool I was quick and mean the rich balls the rich balls way No, of course I know You know it depends me Bobby norin. I'll pick it up Sure doesn't matter whatever. Okay. No one's no one's keeping score gotcha

Okay, when you go out to a steakhouse how do you get your stays your State last night. I don't want to say the name of the place say it for me But now because I got chicken porn, but it's a well-known staplie and I'm not lying. It was not good It was tasteless. I was when he getting chicken porn with a steak plate. I don't even read meat Okay, okay, but this place is what the sardines were in the car Can't just give it to you which I respect A principal I thought my brothers I guess I said rich boss and who's that? That was funny.

Oh, you just got him started now. Yeah, I went out less and the cheese or salad was great. You like a nice cheese? You go like, you know, I love the cheese. You know, try this. I'm not lying. No, no, no. You ever eat the cheese right to seller? Because you could do it.

Not really, yeah. But if you're, or any way you go. The foods on the list. The foods the best. It's great. Yeah. Put buffaloing sauce on it. Not a lot.

Just a little dab. It's some buffaloing sauce spread it around. Bonnie taught me this, but I'm taking credit because I tell the comics, it tastes, it's not hot so it's gotta be the buffalo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, if things are roughing, you're in a trench and you only have hot so it's.

The basketball or something, yeah. Yeah, but not too bad. So we went out last night for our anniversary. She said she was gonna pay, but I paid. I got my wallet out faster. It hurt. You know, I tip big too. I like to, you know, you tip big. Well, listen, fucking blue collar workers have the tough life. Do you have a, you know, I like if I back in it, if I was doing TV, like say last, whatever, tape, and the last time we taped for a HBO with Colin out to I rather

I'm talking to the work the blue collar guy's not too executive. Yeah, of course. Yeah, you know, I'm not you know because that's I can relate if I was at a party and one side of the room was lawyers and doctors and the other side convicts convicts and pims, you know. It's just whatever, you feel more comfortable. You feel more comfortable. That makes sense. So, yeah, here's the thing, money I don't care.

But I don't like, we went out for dinner last night and it was like 120, but whatever. But I go $7 for a little coke this big. Like sometimes principal fucking drives me nuts. Sure. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, like don't even, I don't even know. You don't care about the money. It's just, it's frustrating. Yeah. Yeah. That day charged me $7 for a little coke in a bottle.

They're a little glass bottle. Yeah. They love all the cars run them. Yeah. Yeah. And so I don't, I don't mind spending money, but I'm not, I'm not a bitch. Don't take it. Don't try to fucking get over on. Sure. Well, you do bottled water, like sparkling or still, sparkly. I don't like, I like sparkling water. We could have got you. So I like, uh, I like, uh, I can't think of it, but sparkled water. Yeah. Okay. What are you throwing down? I like, say like, one of your nieces or nephews

or somebody like that's getting married. What's usually in the envelope? Chees. Yes. Sorry. That couldn't hold it. Even as far as I'm tied to hell. He's like 60.

He's like 60. 66, 66, 66. Are you fucking brittin'? Come on, that was a girl. Look at this. Good one. Come on, that was a good one. I'm sorry. For those, my back, I do my back, I do my back. I'm a huge 60 cents. Well, I don't have any nieces or nephews.

Okay, I'll take care, you know, I, say you were coming to one of our weddings. We're getting married, a friend, another comic, you know, you're going, I would do a spot. What's a spot? Two, ten minutes. I picked up a 1240.

A little proud work. I don't know, am I supposed, like if I know the person, yeah, good friends with them. Yeah. Good friends. Well, they'll definitely get a rich false legend, Sharpe. Sure. They'll get a a rich false legend, sure. Sure. Get a merch package on a grip CD, at least a couple hundred to two to five.

I know. Okay. That seems normal. Yep. That's right in the wheelhouse. That's good. You know, I've sent money to weddings. I didn't even go to.

Sure. That's your gentleman's move. That's a pro move. I like that. Have you ever left a bad Yelp review? No, what am I fucking s- who's gonna write a bad review? write a bed review? I get bad reviews. I don't write them. I think I should do you have a you guys have a garage in the new house, right? Yes, two cars. Do you have a second fridge in there?

You have a garage fridge? Oh, no. With like sodas and drinks and stuff. Oh, no, we have one in our Florida room. We have a little fridge. Oh, no, like so does the drinks and stuff. Oh, no, we have one in our Florida room We have a little fridge in our Florida room. Yeah, it's like it's a sun room sure Sunroom with it screens and I just put a TV out there nice nice table. What's in the fridge? What's what drinks? What do you put it in there? I don't put anything my wife and kid kid put Dr. Peppers for my kid. Dr. Peppers. Dr. Peppers. I'll give you that.

Yeah, I like Dr. Peppers. Any band. Do you do any fast food at all? Yeah. You do? That's in a blue moon, but let me tell you something. Like Sundays, I've only been trying to eat well for the last couple of weeks.

Popeyes, that fucking chicken, Popeyes is fucking amazing. It's so fucking good. The chicken sandwich. Oh, that and it's just a big chicken white breast. Oh, the skin, it's just, uh, it's so fucking good. Pop, Taco Bell isn't bad. And they have a little breakfast sandwich at Taco Bell. If I'm in a hurry, I'll get it. Okay. On breakfast burrito. Uh, Popeyes and Taco Bell.

Any Mickey D's? Any Wendy's? I went some wild burger. You don't do the red meat. No, Burger King had the impossible burger for a while. Okay. And that's, you know, where does the no red meat come from? Well, I spent 35 years.

It's just a fucking myself. You know, late at night. I go out and have chili dogs And I remember one time when I was living with this girl She was smoking but I met this girl at a club and she's doing the show somewhere next thing Oh, I'm fooling around with this other girl again. I'm gonna fuck So I go I smell like girl so I went to red tower in my town and I put a chili dog and I'm driving home and I put someone in with the window blown a chili on me right so I smell like a chili dogs and I get home and my girlfriend goes oh you went to get chili dogs and didn't bring me anything

Ain't fucking the girl that chili dog plays Do you want any suits? Yeah, but I gotta get some new ones. I use that. How many suits you said? Yeah, well, they don't fit I had them years ago. I got one that fits. Yeah, you know, I had a nice Versace I had Back in the day. I would assume you probably had put it together. Yeah, no, no, no, yeah, I got a normal I think okay, Calvin Klein, I used to have like, but I gave him the Bonnie. Okay, she was well with the other day we did photo shoots for our podcast. And we put each put on suits and when

stood into pool with our suits on doing photo shots doing Photoshop, then she did one of her floating like she's dead. And I'm on my phone. It's pretty good. It's some funny photo. So yeah, I had suits, you know, I don't know, because I got them at Marshall's or Century 21. The Versace do Versace I got a century 21 Versace classic. I didn't mention classic Yeah, oh, I'm a second back. No, the other one brought me my target I think yeah, I don't know if it's our money, but when I was on last comic, right? We're doing the finals and they go we want you to wear a suit. I go I Go you got to have to buy it for me and I keep it and I said get me an arm. I mean I'll they got it there you go There you go. I'm strong arm. Yeah, they got it. What about in the shower you peeing in the shower?

Yes, yeah, every time I possibly can yeah, I don't pee in the pool. You don't pee in the pool I've been or the hot tub or hot tub. I don't put you in a hot tub. Okay. Before I go in. Is the hot tub connected to the pool? Yeah. Okay. That's nice. Little waterfall going into it. Yeah. That's all right.

Look at you. Will you brush your teeth up there in the shower? Yeah. Yeah. Now in the shower before I take a shower. You do, okay, you don't brush your teeth in the shower. All right. Electrical toothbrush, regular toothbrush. Regular.

I have a water, a one that's, you know, a water pick. Mm-hmm. I used it once in a while. Okay. And where are you getting your color? What do you do your color? Oh, my tattoos. You're now your tan. Tan.

Oh, from playing golf. From playing golf. You know, you look great. No tanning bed. No. No, no, no. No, I got a bed bag. No one went to that.

I got a bed bag. He is a 66 year old Jewish guy. Oh, my, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. One time years ago, I fucked a girl in a tanning bed. She's after a show. It hurt my knees. Joe Jewish guy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don't think so. No, and I wasn't on either. I mean, I'm pretty good. I'm I mean, yeah, yeah, this is this is all for this is all your say at this point. What I'm not lying. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no What was the last book you read? What was the last book you read? Skycop? We're here having a good time, your jerk off red. I read most of Bonnie's book.

Okay, yeah, there we go. But that makes sense. Yeah, okay. Do you fly up front? You fly first class? If I get upgraded. Okay. But I fly, I get the emergency window exit seat.

Okay. It's a lot of room. Look, if you're not fine, if you're flying first class to LA, maybe you sooner or later, then the seats are good. If not, they're just like any other hard seat. Right. You know, I bring my own little cooler,

I freeze the bottle of water, I bring my own sandwiches, You know, it's not. You should on the plane. What kind of sandwich? Aren't anchovy sandwiches? Don't be now. Well, you see the egg salad or tuna eggs. No, oh, egg salad. I don't know. The plane with the tuna sandwich. No, but it's in the cooler. I'm cooler. I do that bit. I just sort of got you're eating egg salad or tuna on a plane and do you take pride in making your I imagine because you're Ridiculous so you probably have a nice probably put out a nice egg salad sandwich. I would just fucking amazing. Yeah, eggs They go less. I don't want to do the bit but it's true

TSA you can't bring eggs out on the plane I got yeah, I've read all the stories of the danger salad on the plane. I go, yeah, I've read all the stories of the danger. Because it was in a sealed container in bread. She said it was okay, whatever. But I'll bring my own cooler, not if I'm in first class, which is very seldom. Because when I went continental, I used to get upgraded all the time. But since United took over continental, I never get upgraded to fucking, you know, Rochester, big fucking deal. Sure, yeah. The 20 minute flight. Yeah.

Is United your carrier? Is that who you go with all the time? It's Kister in work. Yeah. And what, uh, what plastic are you throwing around? You got an AMX American Express card? Oh, I got a master card. I should get that one Bobby told me to get to get to get to you in the other lounge.

I think it's AMX. Yeah, I have an AMX one. I just hate doing all the get that gets you in the other lounge. I think it's amac Yeah, I'm doing all the paperwork fill filling out all the sure I gotta 800 credit score. Yeah, I can get it Get it you bet piece of shit. Fucking sit in here judging me Fucking am Max. You're lucky. You could spell it. Go fuck yourself Spell it. Go fuck yourself. I like it. That's what he got, man. What? No. Oh, man. Yeah. I mean, 100% garbage. And we love you. Yeah. I mean, still doing scratchers,

scratchers, playing the numbers in every stady drive. I've never met anybody that swaps paint out. I mean, that's crazy. To sell it on a plane. I mean, you got the new house though. You're killing it. Doing good. We love you.

We love you. True American success story, Rich Vos. Yes. Thank you. I 37 years sober. I was a drug addict. And now I'm a grandparent. There you go.

There you go. You got a brand new special out too. 30 minutes of Rich Vos. Check it out. It's out right now. You got to check it out YouTube slash rich voice or you can go to rich voice.com and get it and Our podcast is starting back up my wife hates me

You know it's wherever to fuck a podcast sure that's right wherever. Yeah, wherever you get your pods. Yeah, you know, it's a special Is on gonna be on YouTube, but it's going to view master in about two weeks That joke went nowhere. What I don't know what you master you put the little thing in With a been fucking good if somebody somebody was older than 12 I'm like is that to do Netflix? Yeah, no, I was happy with the special that's great I didn't come a club comic. I mean I've done tea to one of the best buddy. What are the best? Thank you? You know, I I just loved doing clubs. You know, yeah, great

I mean you're a club guy like like your essence of you as a club guy Yeah, you're you're you know rough and humble fucking killer check out the fucking special gang He's a fucking New York City legend absolutely 100% 30 minutes of rich boss makes you check it out rich Anything else you want the folks out there to know any dates or anything or anyone just just a rich boss calm cool dates are there and You know just my wife H. Me podcast just was so much fucking fun. Thanks. I love you Don't take anything Keep me what do you got for guys? We're all over the road tickets are tickets are selling out get them ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha