Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Rick Glassman Returns!

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Rick Glassman! We're talking Magic: The Gathering, First Dates, and Pawn Stars. You know Rick Glassman from stand up comedy, Take Your Shoes Off podcast, TigerBelly, Bad Friends, Whiskey Ginger, Kill Tony, We Might Be Drunk, Good for You w/ Whitney Cummings, First Date, Soul Boom and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Blue Chew: Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code GARBAGE -- just pay $5 shipping. Liquid IV: Get 20% off your first order of Liquid I.V. when you go to https://www.LIQUIDIV.COM and use code GARBAGE at checkout. True Classic: Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gann, we want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the Route 66 special. It is out now. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out. Gann, the Back on the Block Tour starts this week. Tickets still available for Pontiac Michigan, March 8th, March 11th, Milwaukee Improv, and then March 14th, Minneapolis, Minnesota at the Fillmore Get Your Tickets on uGarbage.com. We'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast this This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah, it's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a good to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash trash trash

I'm your host a truly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition She just got back from the Eagles parade, okay, which as you know was several weeks ago She just walked in the door okay on her way to spring training baby oh I thought she got it I thought you got a position my coach coming at you right next to me he is the CEO of are you garbage he is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody what up gang shout out to you thanks for tuning in as always. Make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video

available on YouTube and also full video available now on Spotify. We got a little thing over there. You can wet your beak over there. Go watch on Spotify. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash rugarbage and the Route 66 special. Go check that out gang now live on the YouTube. Yes please and gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. One of our absolute favorites. You can hear him every week in his amazing podcast, Take Your Shoes Off. Give it up for the LA Kid, Rick Glassman. There he is. Look at him. He's got his boy with him running around.

Little Alvin. I know. Alvin. Good kid. Good dog. There he goes. There he is. I thought he was going to get on the tape. Jump up. Look at him. What's up, Budzo? Aw, man. I could eat your belly. I'll tell you that right now. You got a little face. LA kid.

Is that who? LA guy. What are you talking about? Hollywood. I think Hollywood. I think Rick Glassman. You've been to a couple award shows, right? I mean, I was it. You've been It can't be that hot. I mean you also you got a you got a sweatshirt on you got your goofy sweatshirt on Like a Disney adult over here, oh welcome to the Thunderdome glass I mean, I only see one guy who's goofy Can we get a little pair of headphones for Alvin for God's sake goddamn broadcaster over here? He can be associate producer

Buddy thank you for coming back. Here's a new year for everybody he can be he can be associate I can't. We had to have our research team go back and listen to the episode. And they said the verdict was classy, which I was astonished. Came up classy. So, we're going to rerun you through the test a little bit. Somebody knew a question because it's been a while. See if we can get you. Alright? I didn't realize that there was a... Bring in a dog, strike one. Mm-hmm. I didn't realize there was...

What? No more on the dining room table? Strike two. Dining room table? I weren't in. I don't want a dining room table. Strike two. Dining room table. I weren't in it. Strike one. Um do you guys watch the show beat Bobby Flay? I've seen it. Of course. The judges that come on, they

really want to beat Bobby Flay. Mm hmm. And it's like, I guess, I mean, it's a cook. I don't see. Sure. But it seems like you guys, I didn't realize, have an intention. We want to make sure we find them garbage. Of course. I didn't realize, have an intention. We want to make sure we find them garbage. Of course.

I didn't realize that you guys had a bias like that. Yeah, we want to, we want to, we want to get to it because our theory, our hypothesis for the show. Our hypothesis. Is that everybody is really garbage. Well. No matter how you grew up, no

matter what you do. Well, your theory has already been. I'm trying to do a show here, Alvin. Come here, my little. Goddamn LA dog. This dog's all over, man. I feel like I'm at a ditty party It's got a little can of baby oil in his hand glassman knows about those all right moving I like it more of a New York thing though than an LA thing these Jersey. You know sure That's all in LA you weren't doing that shit, so All right, I mean

Let's get into it. Let's see. Let's see what we can fuck cuz you are you know you are a man of Pretty good culture character. You're you're thoughtful Typically the garbage comes from yeah, the garbage would say the garbage comes from not being thoughtful It's like tends to be laziness sometimes which you are not that kind of guy Which I think it's tough to find the dirt under the fingernails. Legendary basketball career, good athlete, good looking guy, well dressed, well put together. Stop talking about me.

Flashy, making the scene out there. This is the nicest podcast I go on. Wait until the second half. Call Ropa Dope. Good teeth? Did you ever have braces? You had braces. No, but I have recently been talking. I'm going to wait until the second half. It's called call rope a dope. Good teeth. You ever have braces? You either

have braces. No but I have recently been talking. Oh, I have recently been talking to um uh a dentist. Uh huh. About needing he wants me to get fix my bottom teeth because as we get older, I'm almost thirty. Uh huh. So as we get older,

they get a little bit worse and he thinks of the health of the bottom So with moving the bottom I might have to move the top and I don't want to move the top They're just sucker knee and having the listen. They're white. They're good. That ain't gonna. How did you know my dentist? Dr. Lebowitz They're white. They're good. That's all that day. He's trying to make a lot of black dentists that I think are good You gotta have you gotta have a little Character down here. I like my character. Yeah, but they were saying for health reasons What's hell like come on? It's gonna get hard to clean between the teeth That's all bullshit. They're trying to suck you. That's like clean. That's like undercoating on a car Do not to do not take dental advice from both of us at all.

Ever see actors in the 80s or the 90s? Uh-uh. God damn. No. Even the chicks, it's like, Jesus Christ. It's like the UK. Woo. Ross.

Hello. And then. Yeah, it's bad news. OK. All right, I got a couple. Let's just kind of get one thing we do that has developed in the show since you've been here is notable

alumni on Wikipedia for your high school. What was the high school you went to? Orange. Orange. You're glad I didn't say junior high. Glassman. I'm looking forward to the back half of this thing. Orange High School in Ohio. Yeah. That's

it. I'm confused. Did you are you looking at the notable alumni? Of Orange High School? Yes. Not before I got here? No. No. We do it. That's it. I'm confused. Did you are you looking at the notable alumni of Orange High School? Yes. Not before I got here? No. No. We do it on the spot. How was I going to how was I how did I know what high school you went to? We're not creeps. I mean, I

was with you guys yesterday. You could have asked me. I've never seen this guy in my life. You just talked about it. Uh yeah, Orange High School. Just that's it. Orange High School. Just that's it. Orange High School. That sounds so made up. You had to go to like

Orange. It's not like a school or private school. I did go to Pep. Pep? Yeah. What do you mean? I feel like I talked about this on the first episode. I wait. Yeah, you did a little bit. I can't remember. Pep is a is a special school I had to go

to for a year. Ah yeah. That's right. It's called Positive Education Program for the troubled boys. For the troubled boys. Yeah. Glassman, he's a handful. All right, so did you find Orange High School? I found Orange High School. It's so weird that it's not like Orange County or Orange, just Orange High School.

Not that weird. What was the mascot? Very weird. The orange. It was an orange. The apple's weird. It was a lion. Okay, a notable alum, what do we got?

We got George Stephanopoulos. Whoa! Pretty good. There's a big wig over there at ABC. Vanessa Bayer. Whoa! SNL alum! And Rick Glassman.

Hey! Look at him. Is it samey on whatever you're looking at really, or are you just saying that? No, I'm not, you're on there. What is it? Notable alumni. Notable alumni.

Orange High School's Wikipedia page. Oh, it's on the Wikipedia page? Yes, sir. There's only three people is it? Notable alumni on your Orange High School's Wikipedia page. Oh, it's on the Wikipedia page. Yes, sir. There's only three people on it. Yeah. And I'm one of them. Yeah. Look at that. It's pretty good. Go to the high school. Look at the gym

for your banner. We don't have that kind of resource. Somebody retires Jersey stat. Alright, that's pretty good. Pretty good. Huh? That's awesome. Look at that. See why we do it on a show? See my first time broadcasted, Rick. Look at that. What is the percentage of people when you look up notable alumni that they are on the list? They got, you gotta be hitting a little hard. You gotta be, you gotta be making some moves. Put it this way, we're not on our notable. I'm a goddamn fucking all-state wrestler, I'm not on there. You believe that shit?

Have you tried switching to State Farm Farm maybe look at me a little recognition We'll be right back after words from our sponsors Okay, um I'm gonna I got what are you doing? Family show you're gonna treat yourself like it's fucking bourbon Beats Adam a lot of times you said you do something you do some type of throwing beads at him. Um a lot of times you set you do something. You do some type of

an analogy joke and you set it up and II often wonder like is he going to find it and I think you've landed every single time. Thank you buddy. Do you know Bourbon Street before you start talking about that's a Franckistanza. I believe okay

but a lot of times you ever say something. Oh you're licking your paws like and you just trust you. You're going to find it Okay. But a lot of times, you ever say something like, oh, you're licking your paws like, and you just trust you, you're going to find it because you see the licking thing first, you know the structure and you start but then I haven't seen you miss. I miss every once in a while. Oh,

he's yeah, that's I've never seen him throw a perfect game. Let's put it that way. I had a couple of stinkers. He got close to a perfect game one time he was on acid but that's you know. Uh. Nice headphones. game one time he was on acid but that's you know nice headphones there yeah see it's just Panasonic's um get my skull yeah my skull all right and we're back in

five four three reset it here we go notable alumni all right what was the college just refresh my memory. Kent State. See if we get notable alum on Kent State. Let's see how high this Glassman goes. There's a lot of action over there. I'm not going to be on that list. You know what probably might be on that is former guest Mr. Julian Edelman. Kent State graduate, I believe. Joshua Cribs. Who's that? You the guy that got shot? He invented Cribs, the TV show. Invented cribs, the TV show. Were you a theater major over there? Minor. Minor. Well, I mean, for the first three years, I graduated early. Hello. What was your major?

Political science. Marketing. Pretty good. Pretty good. I though I didn't finish my minor degree in theater because I was two classes away. It was costume and lighting and I would have had to stay another semester. I'm working in front of the curtain. Alright, you want to stay in a semester. You want to get it to I already it took me four and a half years because I I re retook some of my classes for my first semester. Okay. For a thing called freshman forgiveness so I could bring my GPA up because I thought I was

going to go to law school. Oh. And I did four and a half years. I'm like, I don't need to get a minor in theater. Sure. For these two classes. So I graduated a little early. You're in court wearing all kinds of weird outfits. Yeah, and the lighting was terrible. Not on Kent State.

Is that Edelman on there? Uh. Antonio Gates. Antonio Gates? Julian's there. Yeah, Julian. He on eight when I was there. No you. Uh good. They're basketball teams not. Yeah, they they they were good. They were they were elite eight when I was there. No **** Yeah and uh Joshua Cribs not Joshua

Cribs. Um Antonio Gates who is uh you know is a played for the Chargers. Um uh did he he was a basketball player not a football player uh in college. Right. And uh then he went to the he would from being a great basketball player in college to then in the NFL. Isn't that crazy man? It's wild. Those

dudes do that **** athletic ability. I do not have. You both almost died coming up the stairs today. So, we'll have more of that at eleven. Uh what was the first concert you went to? I don't think we had that question when you were here last. First music concert, it was either George Thurow, good

or Metallica, OK, or the Up in Smoke tour. All of those are high school and I know what smoke. That's a good tour. Dre Eminem, it was the whole aftermath. It was everybody. Yeah. Well, it was exhibit snoozes, but I did it. It was an whole aftermath, it was everybody. Yeah, well, it was after all of my classes, but I did it, it was an evening show. But yeah, those were the first three concerts, and I don't know which was first.

Now would you go, your mom, you were a young kid, your mom would drop yous off? George Thorogood, my brother took me because I'm- I was gonna say, how do you get into George Thorogood? Because I love, like many people our age you guys are 28 no I Nine I was big am a big Schwarzenegger fan and a big Terminator 2 fan and but the bed to the bone I used to love that song. Okay, my brother assumed I would love George Thoroughgood, and he wasn't lying That's what my brother took me to that one

Metallica I went with some friends would that be the ride the lightning tour I don't know you'd be too young for that. I don't know 28. I had to be like Reload or something I I just wanted to have a good time with my friends and nothing else matters you know This guy's good. This guy is good He doesn't get doesn't get the puns he doesn't get the word Let's see do you know who who chum Lee is that's that Asian guy who does a lot of fishing videos You don't know chum Lee is take his fucking microphone. What am I doing with these bozos? Not the guy that sings Gangnam style

Does that guy move some goddamn dick man? Is that the guy that comes up from underneath the stage that gets that gets me rock hard pork chop The second we can afford to do that in a live show. I don't care if that's the whole the money. We're doing it Oh, I know you said it like he was Asian I don't I don't see I don't look at the guys color. I don't care if that's the whole all the money. We're doing it. Oh, I know you said it like he was Asian I don't I don't see I don't look at the guys color. I don't see color You know who chum Lee is it's the Asian guy who does all the fishing videos I should get that the first time I got you making a slick out of the water. He's the guy from fucking pawn stars Okay, have you ever seen pawn stars?

It's on I watch for a second sometimes I see clips when someone is trying to sell a comic book or a magic card, okay? Yeah I'm gonna watch Pawn Stars. Have you ever seen Pawn Stars? It's it's on. I watch for a second. Sometimes I see clips when someone is trying to sell a comic book or a magic card. Okay. Yeah. It's pretty good. Or Pokemon card. Do you know what the time bandit is? I

mean, unfortunately, we're all beholden to him. Uh no. Okay. Who's the time? Oh, are you asking? Are you gonna do this to me in public? Are you fucking what do you got? Annie's website or something like that? I'm trying to see what he know. I'm 99% of the listeners know what fucking Chumlee in the time band. Have you ever met Mike Rowe? He's your job dirty. Ha. Love that show. Okay. He taught he was the one who offered taught me the perspective that like it's people never thought chumlee would it be an

Asian guy that's not that's so not way you said it. You know chumlee We didn't hit a gong when I said it was a kung fu star, okay It's very funny Michelle Yee assume. He's Asian every all these jobs are necessary Mm-hmm and To be proud of of doing some of these dirty jobs. Of course. Like what you guys are doing. Thank you. I mean, how much time you put in to make all these Patreon videos?

It's talking filthy. Of course. It's really got to roll up his sleeves and get in there. Get Mike Rowan here. Let him see my lunch order. Find out the best way to eat a hot dog. You guys are so funny. The show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Yeah. my lunch order. Find out the best way to eat a hot dog. You guys are so funny.

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That's promo code GARBAGE. Visit Bluetooth.com for more details, important safety information, and we thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. Yes, we do. Do you remember any of your AOL screen names or your instant message or early email? Yeah, and I'm not gonna tell you why not because I'm embarrassed because it sounds like you're embarrassed That's what I got that's what I got who didn't be embarrassed. I well I use them as aliases Very nice, so yeah, I'm Spitfire542.

What up? I'm bballjams111. As a 29-year-old man. They're video game related. Gotcha. Fair enough. Say no more. As a 29-year-old man, what was your first cellular phone?

Was it a sidekick? And provider. Next up. I could picture the phone, but I don't know. Razor Razor was was wasn't my first, but that was the first one that I was like. You're flexing. You're doing it one sec. You know, open it like that.

I'm on the bus. Does basketball basketball games is doing this the no look flip. I had a pager during 9-11. Just that day? Well, after that, I'm like. That's kind of weird. And it was one of those pagers that you got a line of some news.

And I went to school late, and the first tower was our. I mean, hold on. You had to be how old? You're 28 now. You got a little business, man. Yeah, you had to be like 11 or younger than that. It's cutting deals. Or selling rock.

I don't think he's 28. I think he is. He's not 28. Have you seen my teeth? He's not 35. See if you can get, see if we can get, see if Google will. I already Googled. How old is he?

How old am I? Wait, hold on. He's not 28. Let me guess. This is a multiple day big. Man are Hollywood. Wait you're going lower? Doesn't it say I'm 28? A lady never tells. I'm not 32. I'm 32. I think that makes sense. Yeah, you know what's interesting about what you just did. We're doing a bit. How old is he? You know, you know what's interesting? Should I tell you? Yes, fuck off. You know what's interesting what you're doing right now?

You're not playing with me. You're being afraid of your bosses, which shows me how garbage they actually are. I'm 40 today. He's 40. Today. Today. You are? Yeah. And tomorrow and yesterday.

No you're not. I'm looking right here. 19 is older than me. There's no way he's 28 and had a pager at 9-11. He would have had to have been fucking three years old. I mean I would have been born in 97. I would have, yeah, three fucking three years old. I would have been born in 97. I would have been, yeah, three or four. Kids cut deals.

Because I had a pager in like fifth grade. And, you know, yeah, no, OK. But anyway, on the pager, we were getting the news. I got there late. The first tower, they didn't know there was any malfeasance. Maybe there was malfeasance, no foul play. And then we got the, I remember on the thing,

it was getting like, the second tower hit. And it was on the page where like, that's where we got our news. And then I called my dad. And then I just remember everyone just like, did their own thing and like they left school. Yeah. And now here we are in the greatest city in the world. That's right, baby. New York City. I knew something was up as soon as it hit. like they left school. Yeah.

And now here we are in the greatest city in the world. That's right, baby. New York City. I knew something was up as soon as it hit. With the greatest fire department. What did you know that was it? Something was going on. I

didn't like it. There's a lot of praise going on for the LA firefighters right now. Of course. Do you think some of the New York firefighters are feeling a little like, oh, you know, they're forgetting about us? I don't know. Those

those fires. Listen, I worked in a bar on the Upper East Side during that 11. Quit bragging. Those guys sold weed out of the back and worked. That is those guys were killing it for a few months with the ladies. They still do all right, man. Of course down in the village, they walk. Dude, if you're down in the village and a group of them walk out

and they're like dress blues or they walk into the bar, it's over. It's over. Do you think that they would have as much respect from the generation that currently does respect them and wants to have sex with them or blow them or. I'm sure the LA. Yeah, of course. If it weren't for 9-11. Yeah. Good. I think so. They do a lot. They've done they do a lot but they've done a lot before and they've done a lot since. Goddamn heroes. That was a big one though. That really put him over the top. Yeah, I remember him catching hummers in the bar What do you mean? You saw him getting blown? Oh, he was blowing him

So it's tough to not see when there's a wiener in your mouth, but it is a family program You got the suspenders, all right, you do some fun stuff with your tongue when you laugh I know that thing's got a mind take a lot of heat for it, too It's involuntary just a big fat thing I haven't met voluntary, but I do think that you know sometimes you do a play on words No, it's a pitch. I don't need to make the joke all right go ahead. Who's Ching-Lung? Are you a cologne guy at all? We know you're very meticulous about your eye gene, all that, no boots in the shower. Like when you said hygiene, you didn't have boots in the shower, when did boots in the

shower come? Have you ever said boots in the shower before? I think he meant feet in the shower. No, I meant wearing boots in the shower. Oh, because yesterday I had the security guard I thought you were just saying you're so fucking filthy that you were boots in a shower ah Which I say when I'm getting a throat culture I used to sell cologne and perfume At the mall because my mom did but no family business. I don't like it in fact. I think it's poison

I'm super sensitive to it. Okay. I've been with I mean it's a humble brag. I've been with women who wear perfume and Sometimes I'll have to ask them as a comp. Listen, I don't want to tell you what you can't can't do But you smell like a whoo. I'm a little sensitive How do you go take a shower? All right, you're gonna wear it. Could you at least instead of spraying it on you? Could you just walk through it? I don't like it. What you what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to do a little here, rub it together. I don't even believe this. Do a little on the neck. Just walk through it or spray it and wipe your shirt through it. Give a hint. That's a Sebastian. You do five spritzes and walk through it.

I think famously Rosie O'Donnell used to do 40 spritzes. See if you can find, she would do four, she would do like five five five five five five five five five it was like it was a wild combination i like to have a little on my on my neck here so when i do the hug people know that i smell good especially with the no heaters sure with the no heaters no off to six no six oh i thought got it i thought you stopped playing baseball you ever smell a fat guy in the winter after you just had a heater and walked into a bar helen or roosevelt right winter after you just had a heater and walked into a bar. Eleanor Roosevelt, right? I think it was Chamberlain.

Will Chamberlain Lee. Can I say this? The fact that you're I don't know if you told this is last time you're here, but the fact that your mom worked at the perfume counter. Yeah, you did mention. Yeah, makes me lover because my aunt Jill did that and man the atmosphere in there, especially around the holidays. Just smells atmosphere in there especially around the holidays just smells great in there they were all classy broads they had jewelry they had

makeup I loved it man there's nothing like an old school perfume counter at like a Bloomingdale's or a Macy's really nice we have Rosie old wives tale it seems but there's a lot of rumblings on the internet yes I saw the show I used to be I let's pull the foot that's right the fourth wall used to be a big fan of the Rosie O'Donnell program came on 10 o'clock. I believe it. I believe on ABC big huge fan And I saw it with my own eyes cuz I remember going that's a lot of perfume you saw her spray He's hurt. He's did it on the show 40 spritz's you're in the reddit. You're part of the rumblings. What's my screen name?

40 spritzes. You're in the reddit. You're part of the rumblings. What's my screen name? I was Spitfire 542 for a very long time. Strike out 119. Lady lovers. 69420. Did you ever close off of that? In college? It wasn't college. It was probably something different. It was probably like... Please, please, please. you ever close off of that in college? It wasn't college. It was probably something different. It was probably like, please, please, please.

I say, wait, close off of what? His screen name? Yeah. Do instant messenger. I thought all you kids that instant messenger in college. Hey, what do you do? We just got back. I asked my I asked my my now ex to prom on uh instant messenger. Yeah.

Yeah. You didn't do it straight up? No, I we were dating for six months before I even kissed her. When you're in high school. Did she know that? Stalking, either way. Yeah, she knew that. Did she say yes? You tell me. Cut to the clip. Just him crying. You're crying in your driveway. Okay. You're driving. No, sir. I had one Huh. Were you drinking? Oh, no. No drinking. No, no, sir. No drinking, no drugs? No, sir. No, sir. I had one beer, actually. Did you go out afterwards? Yeah, we went

to an after prom party, which was the after prom was at the high school. Cool. Um and then after that, we went to a friend's house where everyone slept there and so we had been dating. Um Sarah and I had been dating for a little bit and now we're at After Prom together

and this is like the time and we're sitting in a big chair in the living room and someone was sleeping on the couch so it was not that much private but we were there and she fell asleep on me here and I remember I kissed the top of her head and I wasn't sure if that's okay but also I know she liked me

and since the top of the head it's fine and that was kind of my first kiss with a girl Look at me now three notable Whatever the fuck for my head I ever heard He kissed her like a great way to you kids. I tell you we ended up we ended up kids actually kissing and stuff, okay? I mean that's to have the wherewithal at that point to be like can I kiss the top of your head? And then to do it. I would have been hunkin

You know a different time I have my pager All right, let's He's a squirrely one this guy At any point did you or anyone in your family ever have a wooden toilet seat I Could see both ways. I don't think so. Okay, huh? Right now do you have a really funny question? Do you have a pepper shaker or a pepper grinder? He's got to have an automatic you I'm sure you have what's the pepper sitch? I I I have whole kernels that I grind in the right manually or do you have this?

Have a mortar and pestle I don't know it's not one of the ones Sometimes cuz I I prepare my food in the kitchen and then I eat in the living room for my television and sometimes I have the food on the tray in my living room And I don't want to go all the way in there with A pepper so I could just get the big one. Hold on let me just do it from back there big pin in that you there's a tray Involved. Oh, yeah, you bring a tray out a TV tray a proper. There's a tray I got a cavity you would get in the cafeteria They're a little nicer, you know So I I just always had trays and there's a what what woodworking Pelican was that this guy's name?

It's he's changed it. Um. But he's this guy that works with wood and I'm forgetting his name, his new business. But he saw me talk about like a tray so much and he made me a beautiful custom, a pair of these custom trays. That's pretty cool. He also came to my Seattle show and he brought me these beautiful coasters that he made that look like this, but you know, real.

Oh, it's a great coasters. These are great coasters. Pine and Main? Pine and Main? Is that the company? I wouldn't know. Why, is that what it says? Yeah, well, I looked up.

Does it say Woodworking Pelican? Yeah. Now Pine and Main? Yeah, it's like a maker. And yeah, it's a shout out to Pine and Main. Huh, that's very classy. But I love it on a tray because you have everything there. That's so smart.

I wanted to make funny, but that's fucking poor. I carry all my shit out like an animal I have a lot of times I put a Lacroix under my under my in my armpit get it out there, so I don't do leader under my sure Do you guys like to eat in front of the television? Yeah, yeah, and then you have your tray and you could you could make a mess on the tray put your sauces put your drinks Whatever and then you just bring the tray to the kitchen, throw the stuff in the sink, throw stuff in the garbage, wipe down the tray.

Now that's something you saw your mom do when you were a kid. No, no, no. Really? Maybe. That's very mom when you're sick. They bring a tray over. Yeah, that's like breakfast in bed type stuff.

Yeah. I'm not connecting that that's the reason. I think I just like having everything. I just want it here. Also, it reason I think I think I just like having everything. I just want it here. Mm hmm. Also, it's easy to like this is mine because if I'm sitting with somebody else, this is my tray.

That's your tray. I gotta do this. So, hold on to backtrack. It's right up my. The pepper and salt grinder. They're not automatic that you have to manually. Salt, I use Milton's Maldon's. Morton's. Maldon's. Maldon's. Very nice. Maltons. Maltons. Maldon. Very nice. Finishing salts. Okay.

Very nice. And you do the little. Yeah, I do. I do. But not automatic. No. Surprise you don't have automatics. They're very big now. You're going to change the battery. You're going to throw it away. Gas powered. No, you put it in it.

It's USB charge. I, I, I, when I turn it, I feel like I'm cooking. Okay. You know, and it doesn't have that much cleanup. It's not a waste of my of my energy It's like you know what what could I do to personalize this meal? You know what? All right Do any pink Himalayan salt in the house I got it, but I'm a Maldon's boy, okay Maldon's is classy Maldon's is great. That's like an old comedy club Who's booking that?

They get mad that a lot of comics aren't wanting to go there anymore because it's too far away Great. That's like an old comedy club Who's booking that? They get mad that a lot of comics aren't wanting to go there anymore because it's too far away Yeah, there's getting a little bit of a pick you up from the airport and hold on just to backtrack one more thing Kevin yeah, my partner my associate. That's me smart guy. Good guy. I don't mentioned a mortar and pestle Are you not aware of what that is? and That is our time down. Mentioned a mortar and pestle. Are you not aware of what that is? And that is our time. Rosé! Is that where you you grind it in the thing? Yes. Like you're making mojitos?

Not mojitos. That's a muddler. Yeah, you would do that in the closet. That's a comic from the 80s, the muddler. Make out. Yeah, you don't got that? Right. Avocado. That's a comic from the 80s. The muddler. Yeah. You don't got that? No. Where do you get your household items? Are you a William Sonoma fella? Are you ordering online? Well, I mean, I have some stuff

from William Sonoma. I have a stainless steel pan. Yeah. You have a croissant or what's it called? La Croce. Yeah. I don't. I think I do. The color, they're like colored. Bright colors. Those doesn't matter.

I know. You thought you don't see those. I don't. Yeah, I do. I actually, I have one from William Sonoma. My, the iron. Cast iron. You know.

The big pot. The big pot. Not the pot. Like. Saute pan. No, it's something that you could put in the oven. Cheese grater. Dutch oven. Put in the oven. It's

about this big. Is it square? It's square. It's square. Tray. Does it have a lid on it? No. I'm giving you everything in the kitchen right now. I'm one step away from refrigerator. Oh, uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh picture like um a big square

bowl. Oh yeah. Okay. It's like a lasagna tray. I'm not, you could probably make lasagna in it. Yeah. I would. It's kind of like you can make cereal in it if you wanted to. Okay. Alright. Yeah, I have some nice. You're playing hard ball with the kitchen. I nice, I have some nice cooking cooking appliances. Okay. Do all of your silverware is all, do you have a complete set of silverware or do you have mismatched? I have I guess technically mismatched but the but the

the least mismatch it could be I had my silverware that I've been using and then my mom's like uncle Bob has this stuff do you want like no no no no I looked at like this is actually I like the knives okay so I just took the set and I added it to my collection so I kind of have two sets I have the good forks. I have the the not good forks. I got I like it. I got a logistical question on this. Where is uncle Bob still with us? I believe I know this. Uncle Bob passed, I thought. No, he's

shaking his head. Yes, and you're going, Rick, you're wrong on this one. I got news for you. Check your pager. Yeah, uncle Bob. Uncle Bob is a client advocate of fixed of fixed communications of fixed voice. What will you look up? Uncle Bob is a client advocate of fixed of fixed for communication of communications and fixed voice

What will you look up uncle Bob? I'll do it Search my uncle Bob Yeah, he is big in the telecast game right now telecast telecom telecom. Yeah Sounds smart though uncle Bob. Yeah, not the good enough. He's giving are. Sounds smart though. Shout out to Uncle Bob. Shout out to Jumlee. He's doing good enough he's giving away silverware. Where does Uncle Bob live? Where were the knives located?

Cleveland. He's an economic development and client advocate of internet bandwidth and fixed voice communications. Whoa. That sounds like lobbyist if you ask me. So there's a running joke in the family that I didn't bring up until maybe 10 years ago at a Thanksgiving. I said, Uncle Bob, what do you do? Like nobody knows what uncle like I don't know what uncle Bob does and everyone in the family started laughing and that's when we realized that nobody knows what uncle Bob does but nobody's brought it up to him and since then and I've

had him on my podcast numerous times to try to explain what he does for a living and does well uncle Bob. Yeah, he does well. He's he into 211. 211? Look up 211, which did a lot during the LA fires. He helped set up 211. Is that like 311, like information? It's a little bit less. OK. 100 less. For like help with health, human, and social services.

That would be like our 311. That's new to LA. They didn't have a 311? No, it's new to being public. A lot of people didn't know about it. But during the fire, people like you call 211 three to get help. Yeah, that's pretty good Uncle Bob was involved in that in some capacity. I don't understand him late. No firefighters. Let's go How did you get the knives from Cleveland to L to Los Angeles?

I'm in Cleveland all the time. So they live in Cleveland. No. No. So you I'm trying to get he flew back with silverware. He flew back with used silverware from Uncle Bob which to me is pretty fucking crazy. Wasn't used. You said Uncle Bob has this silverware. There was a set that there was a gift or something. An unopened box was the box was in a container. I don't remember but probably I don't think I would have wanted to some loose knives. Well that's the way you spun it. You said my uncle Bob your mom said Uncle Bob's got these knives. Hold on, to Rick's credit, he doesn't strike me as a loose silverware kind of guy. The show is sponsored by Liquid IV.

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Wow, okay, so you flew back with the knives in some sort of container. Yeah, unless my mom brought them when she visited. I don't remember how I got them. Okay, I'll give you that. That would make more sense. There's a question. When the folks come out,

do they stay with you or do they get a hotel? Hotel. They get a hotel. Could you hold them at that? Could you have them at the house? No. Really? No, I don't have enough. My guest bedroom is an office, which I'm actually thinking of turning into a guest bedroom. Okay.

But no, they don't want to. I don't want to. I go to their hotel. I see them. I respect that. That's a classy way to do it. Get a hotel. Get a hotel. Yeah. Get a hotel. Um, hmm. Do you currently owe anybody any money? Not a large sum, but like 20 bucks from this or dinner or 10 bucks or five bucks from here

No, what's the last time you said a Venmo request? I don't have Venmo my man. Oh you what do you like about that? I don't know. It's classy. I got PayPal. Oh But I got into PayPal back in the early days when I was selling magic cards on eBay Let's put a and Dragon Ball Z VCDs magic. I just felt magic MAG ICD or K Magic the Gathering Was that a lucrative business for you buying and selling collectibles Yeah, you were you were a Pokemon guy. I collected Pokemon a little bit, but I was more a magic player

What's that called arbitrage where you buy for? You know arbitrary. I think it's arbitrage could arbitrage assignment. No I'm not sure what is magic. What's the magic the gather? It's arbitrage, right? Yeah, I think it's what's the difference between magic the gathering and Pokemon listen if you have to you can't afford it. All right. A kiss on the forehead. Make way for the paying customers. Hey, you're just going to be here kicking tires. I'll send you to the house to watch.

Move merchandise. I have some new software you might be interested in. I'm on PayPal right now. I never played Pokemon. look at Pokemon more as a like I punch you you punch me magic is a little more strategy I think of it like an adult Pokemon. Your mana pool I remember that. Yeah okay. It's it's there's more strategy there it's it's it's chess with cards. Really? Yeah and you get instead of having a set amount of pieces you build your own deck and You could cast your spells and have your planeswalkers and have your creatures

I remember trying and not being the only thing I ever retained was mana So man a football we well you need somewhere to relax your mana was your land or something. It's currency Yes land, but like basically to cast spells typically you need To have a certain amount of mana Yeah, should have cast the spell on sorry. You might get a little action that night Oh, we had sex and she blew me and I ate her out We had a kiss first jump from the kiss on the forehead this guy can close Did you guys know at the time

That those cards were gonna be worth something yet? They were you knew cuz I remember that I got into it for that. Did you keep? Trying to wet my beak on this matter. Hey, there's the land dealers enough to go around Do lands are in the thousands of dollars now I remember going to a guy to buy a deck and he was like you could there's a thing He was selling me now that I look back on it. He fucking he he glassman to me. He was like, they could this day you're looking for this card.

It could be in here. So I bought like three decks and I got all man. I was screwed. What would you go like every Saturday when a new Friday? FNM Friday Night Magic. That was that the name of the place Friday Night Magic is a thing that like card stores have Friday. That's what it is. Just you know you have, there's Monday Night Football this Friday night. There's that place in the village.

Like where across the street from the chest. It's like they have that. Oh, yes. I know what you're talking about. It's like a table game, like a card game type spot. And you'd go and my dad would drop me off at the card store on Friday night and they were open till midnight and that's where and you would play and there's a Papa John's across the street and I don't eat cheese. But Papa John's I always referred to as easy peel pizza because if I was gonna get a whole pizza I wanted to split it with somebody because I at the time it couldn't really afford a proper pizza. Uh-huh I would want to get my own pizza without cheese, but there I'm like, hey We'll get it with cheese and also if you want I'll even give you my cheese

And I would peel it off for the four you just take it from the base and you could peel off in one piece one big Triangle so I would and I would I it off for the you just take it from the base and you can peel off in one piece one big triangle. So I would and I would I loved Papa John's dude. You know, it's funny is we would have been good friends because for a long time I was just cheese. I didn't like the pizza and I would peel it off when it got like maybe 10 minutes out of the oven and I'd roll it up and then put it on my mouth like a piece of gum and then take sips of the soda and it would harden

in my mouth. Yeah, that's that's um that's all right. We have to check, please All right He's so freaks how old of a fellow were you when you were doing this on a Friday high school like like after freshman year like sophomore junior senior year Probably mostly like nine ten eleven okay, maybe twelve you're in your sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore,

sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, sophomore, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, Soph, , Soph, Soph,

Soph, Soph, Soph, , , Soph, Soph, So pre high school into high school, I guess I'm now remembering because I remember The I mean you're not eating chicks out if you're going to Friday night magic I dad a date a girl for six months before I kiss the top of her head

No, I wasn't eating girls out to lose the cloak. How do you go? By the way, I went d1 There you go I'm not sure I get it. That doesn't sound like a bad Friday night. That's a sweet. That's a sweet. That was your, that was, I gotcha. Well, I'm just saying, I was in a D1 school when I first ate a girl out.

No, I was in high school. And I dated a girl recently whose birthday was two days before mine. Whoa. And it's like, oh, it's interesting that I'm finding these strong independent women who share birthdays that are so close to mine. Her birthday was July 21st?

Probably still is. But oh, Route 66. Whoa. Prank call her, prank call her. Can I say that sounds like a nice Friday night? The guy wouldn't give you guys shit for hanging out in there? No, that's the whole idea. That's the business.

You bring people, it's like their happy hour. Now what kind of creature was he? Somebody that looked like me? Some heavy set guy? of creature was he? Somebody look like me, some heavy set guy like comic book man, like a crawl worm, put up a picture. He's a great guy. You mean like a tremor? Eli. Yeah, he was a great guy.

And also my dad worked at the rug store. Shout out to Marshall Rug Gallery. Right. And it was like a mile down the road from there. So sometimes I would go to work with my dad like during the summers and then I would just go to the card shop and I would be there and there was not that many people,

during the day people come in, they buy stuff and they leave, not that many people are there necessarily playing. Tables in the back? Tables in the back. And I would just sit there, I would just be there for hours like looking at the comic books and asking questions and looking in the case at all the cards and asking him questions and stuff and

I was there all the time and I remember there was one time I must have asked him too many questions and by the way what I'm about to say Eli's a great guy he was just he was just telling how it was shut the fuck up listen kid he said something to me once about something like um you know I'm there all the time I can pick up as of now in the story I'm like, you know, I'm there all the time. I can pick up. We're on Eli's side. As of now in the story, I'm team Eli. All right? All right, guy? And he goes, he said something where I was like, hey man, I'm not your babysitter.

I remember- Where are your parents? I remember when he said that. I remember when he said that, I got embarrassed. I got embarrassed because it was only then that I realized, oh no, I'm bothering, I'm here too much. And I got really embarrassed that I was there and I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought like, I was just hanging out and asked, I'm so sorry. I was just like, even now I can remember that feeling. Oh, I'm so sorry. Kiss him on the head and get out of there. I don't want to eat your cheese. Get out of here. I don't want to eat your cheese But you know I see him I go when I go back I still go in there and like I was there not too long ago because listen kid. It's just a fucking job for me, okay? Part go to go to part of my merch. I have these trading cards that are awesome go to Tiso cards calm

I want you to see them. I want to make you guys cards Okay, I do make them with previous guests. And then click here. Very nice. Oh, those are really cool. Shout out to Scott Hepburn, who's a Marvel illustrator. Sam Morell, Mark Norman, those are fantastic. Aren't those really cool? We turn them into different characters. And the cards, they're holofoil. They're awesome. As a card collector. Yeah, Blake Griffin on here and not us. That's crazy Who do you guys who do you who do you guys think? What kind of superpowers would I have?

Well, that's I'd like to ask people tell me who I told you the cheese thing Do you have any characters that you resonate with? Do I have any character the comic book characters? I resonate with any character the same tits as Wonder Woman his Wonder Woman. And the same taste of the men. Called Dark and Kryptonian. So I was. Nothing on that? What? You should make him Eli. Eli would have killed that. So I went into his card store recently because I was traveling and I needed some cases and I got a couple of cardboard cases and he just gave them to me. I'm like no, he's like no, take the cases. And I was like, you know what? The whole babysitting thing that I've been sitting on for a decade.

Yeah, you got a lot of co. I think you're cool with me. Yeah, and you've been a customer 20 something years. Bandit, I love going there because I, I didn't really have friends. And what? Yeah, and you would go, I didn't have kids that I would play with.

I wasn't really part of the crew. Yeah, and I would go to Mr. Cards and Comics and it was all these what I remember looking I remember thinking like these are such weird people. Different eclectic weird. I didn't know I was one of them. You know I'm like going in and I like these guys that are real nerdy and socially awkward and some of them smell. I think people know that. Not all of them but some people that play Magic. If you are a Magic player I would just check in ask somebody say hey you have a safe space Do I smell let me know and the trick is not cologne and perfume the trick is cleaning your clothes

Making sure they dry properly and showering and by the way, I'm not even saying shower every day But if you sweat or if you shower Sure, anyway what adults come in and play with you. Yeah, there was kids to adults. Whoa. And and everybody was part of the same thing. There's a similar feeling I had when I first moved to LA, I played basketball. And I got into some basketball games with some comics. I remember one of the first comics that I remember being like cool with Steve Rennazzisi. I never met him before. Sure. And I was a fan of

the league. I'm like, that's, this is awesome. But when you're playing basketball with these guys, it's like, it's about the basketball. Not about how much, you know, if you're a headliner or an open mic or type of thing. Of course. And that's the analogy I have for going into playing Friday Night Magic.

You're all equal. You can be 17 or you can be 45. You're all losers. And how are you? We, we. You know. But losers. And some of you smell. Los can be 17 or you could be 45. You're all losers and how were you? You know, but lose your smell losers Looking in the window in there it really is a cool community and when I moved out to LA I would play

At a card store in in in Studio City. You did this as an adult Yeah, and those sanctioned sanctioned tournament play. So like you were nationally ranked. That makes it better. I thought this was amateur shit. You're talking sanctioned? Well, it's not sanctioned like you're a pro. Rich, I don't care. And then after, it was after, that was every Sunday, every Sunday, and after, we would go across the street

to Panda Express, and this might be one of your garbage, literally, and a Panda Express receipts at least back in the day if you fill out the survey you call a number you fill out the survey you get a free entree with the purchase of another entree so I would ask people if I could have the receipt when I go and there was sometimes I would look at if there's any receipts in the top of the garbage and I'll take a receipt from the garbage and I would just do the survey so I would get us an entree any receipts in the top of the garbage and I would take a receipt from the garbage and I

would just do the survey. So, I would get an entree with two sides and a free entree and I would play my magic. I would get I would get Panda Express Dude, it was I you know, to be young. Now, what's your move at Panda Express? You've I

don't need it anymore but I like the the Beijing beef. Okay. I'll get the Beijing beef, a double order and lo mein. Chumlee loves that. I wanted the orange chicken, but I don't eat dark meat. Orange high school. You don't eat dark. You don't eat dark chicken meat. No, no, you're not a thigh man.

No, sir. I like thighs on a on a person. Sure. Sure. Stephanie. Sarah, Sarah. All right. I like a little dark. She was sorry. I'm sorry. Sarah. Sarah. Alright. I like a little dark. She was in Spanish five, Sarah. No dark meat on turkey either. Thanksgiving.

They're breast man. Breast man likes the teddies. Okay. Hmm. Um. Growing up, was there any communal collection of magazines in the bathroom? Uh my parents bathroom had uh I could see that they struck me as readers and

sometimes I would take a dump in my parents bathroom so I could check out the Victoria Secret. That was like a vacation. Really? My mom had a Victoria Secret catalog subscription I think. Whoa. Or came to the house. Maybe my

dad did. But uh but yeah I would I would look at that and I would just. I mean those when those things. Holy **** man. It's David. I mean that was like penthouse. Holy **** man. It's I mean, that was like penthouse. That was crazy. Kids have too much access to to

appreciate. No, but now, no, everything's in these Victoria Secret models are just these ugly hags but back then. Gorgeous. They're the end all be all. Yep. Gorgeous. Leo ran through all of them. I um I uh I'm going to brag without

name dropping. You dated one. No, I didn't date one but there was, there was, I went out with one a couple of times. You went out with one. Like I went out with one a couple of times. Socially. Well, we like. It wasn't at the card store. It was the store. You were trying to see, it was the early days of dating.

To see if it worked. Yeah. I mean, I could see you pulling that. But but you know what? I was going to tell a story that I'm not going to tell. Okay. I'm not going to tell. Check that out on Patreon.com. I mean, I was always here. I could see me Take that loser. I was always very insecure with girls We do it you're talking to two studs over here look a kid you know like

Would they really want to go out with me if they do are they are they doing this to like make fun about me to? Their friends behind my back like I didn't trust that they would not around why would they like me I had some experience okay but anyway lobbing your knob you want they make fun of you at a dinner party or not you're getting your D you're getting your D sucked man the reason I say this is is it was that moment it was just some decision I made because I was like I masturbated to these people and now one of them is like you will masturbate to me and now that moment there's two moments in my life that I can remember why I became more confident in some type of sexual way that was one when that happened like oh maybe girls do like me maybe where they

if they say they like me they mean. And I got a little bit more confident. And another one was when I was I didn't get chest hair until college. And then I got chest hair. And that was like an awakening for you. I didn't think anything of it. It's got some chest hair. And then I was dating a girl in college who went to a different college and I went to her dorm and the guys and the girls were on the same floor, separate wing. So I took a shower down the hall and then I walked back to her room with a towel around my waist but not covering my torso. You got the chest hair out.

And she goes, get in the room. You have so much chest hair. And it like that fucked me up for years. Oh, I thought you would have taken confidence in that No, she was like tied and I'm like, oh is this try be embarrassed and I didn't even have a choice The answer was yes, it's dumb broad man among boys We tell you run that goddamn door was slipping out of my seat while you were telling I was picturing your hog Flapping through the town sir. I'm being honest. I was that's where I was

I thought all the girls are gonna be coming out fucking, you know. Talk about matching together. Trying to be the next Victoria's Secret model. So I embarrassed her. I was embarrassed for years. Like even swimming, I didn't wanna take my shirt off. I was so embarrassed about my chest hair

until I saw Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, which is why in those Tiso cards, Wolverine, because I saw Hugh Jackman and he had chest hair and he doesn't have the same body I have. But I was like, I was buying those from a different era Tom Selleck Burt Reynolds. I think that I think he's only 2080 doesn't get the yeah I think girls girls girls that grew up in the 90s or Were it's split some like chest hair something cuz I don't if you remember in the 90s That's when guys are even were waxing their chests and like shaving their chest hair That's when manscaping started and then I think chest hair is kind of coming back.

I don't have any. It's wild. You have none? It's like a skin won't grow it. Nothing, smooth. I still feel, I'm okay with it, but I still feel insecure when I take my shirt off because of my chest hair.

That's good stuff. And to answer your question, I do- Although we haven't seen it. What if it's insane? We're like dude, it's totally cool. It takes it off and we're like what I trim it to a point to where I don't want it To look trimmed sure. I like to trim you. I remember seeing my cousin one He trimmed him I was young on the beach and he had I was like that way you look cool That's what I'm saying. When it's trimmed, it looks nice. You really, but

but then like when you have as much as I do because I I'm a hairy guy. Mm hmm. Then like, it's like you if you go too short, it just looks like military. It just looks like it just you got either get rid of it or keep it. You got to

high and tight your nips. Yeah. Choose a lane. I would do, I would do, you do tighter on the nips, a little longer on the chest, a little shorter on the thing. I remember I was experimenting all the time and I tightened my abs to see where the lines would be and I did like a tic-tac-toe board on my thing and then it was just, it just looked like I, you know. Shaved in like, it'll grow back.

Huh. I identify, for a card I would identify with Wolverine but not the Hugh Jackman version. You know, a lot of times they drew him differently. You know, originally he was kind of a short stocky guy So I would identify with Wolverine. Yeah, you kind of like how they drew Homer in like in like 89 Yeah, that fucking shit-ass voice. It's like buddy. You I don't know you are but you ain't Homer. All right or the Silver Surfer

What about this little server I would identify with him. Because he's hairless? He's smooth. Is that why you said it? No, I just like him. I also liked, what's his name? Who am I thinking of? I would be Alvin. Who was Morpheus? Who played Morpheus? Drawing a blank on his name, I don't know why. The guy with the eye? Yeah, you know Morpheus, his famous actor. Laurence Fishburne? Larry? is famous. Laurence Fishburne Larry talking Larry. Laurence Fishburne did the voice in the Silver Surfer when they did it with Mandy Moore, wherever it was. I liked his voice. I liked the Silver Surfer or the Beyonder. Who do you like better the singer Mandy Moore or Mandy Patankin? Mandy Patankin. He's pretty old school. I

like that Mandy Moore though. I'll tell you the most talented one is is The one from wicked the lady from wicked Ariana Grande man She died both of those ladies are on whatever he has a crush on at the moment Dude, she does always coming in with some new pop star. You might be the most talented very Fox and this debate closed I'll put you I'll put Jamie Foxx very talented You know bringing up Mandy Moore is making me think of Aquaman from what was Jessica one sec and then also in entourage Whoa and there's also making me think of it's kind of like how when when Ari started his new agency Vince and the guys had to walk up so many flights of stairs to get there

And I was thinking about entourage on my way up here Pretty good six flights to get up here six flights. He's giving our location away I think I'm looking for us got the ops go crazy. We got the guard here. Six flights. Hey, give it our location away. Got the ops looking for us. Got the ops going crazy. Good thing we got the guard dog here. Right, Alvin? I think I got one or a couple more here we can just run through real quick. You open your eyes underwater in a pool. I want to. I've tried it. That's not for me. That's like you treated it like it's sushi. Listen, I give it a shot every time I get it. Not for me. Do you do sushi?

I want to. I've tried it. My body responds well to it. I give it a shot every time I can. Not for me. Do you do sushi? I want to. I've tried it. My body responds well to it. It's not for me. Okay. Will you dance at a wedding? Yeah. I'll dance anywhere. Can you move? You any good? I'm a good dancer. Fast dance? Like you got, you

know, dirty dancing. How many beats per minute are we talking? What are you looking like? Anybody can slow dance. Do you have some moves out there? Yeah. Can you walk in it up a little bit? Buddy, I got chest hair. I got blown by Victoria's Secret. Do you think

I can't dance? What do you think? And he knows Hugh Jackman. I don't know Hugh Jackman. I'm trying to get you laid. Uh have you ever made poached eggs at the house? I don't really like eggs. When I make them, I make them hard

boiled and I throw away the yolk and then you know what I do every time I do it. I go these are good yolks aside It's pretty good Do you have any half used gift cards currently yeah? But I have them all in a pile somewhere that I'm not going to use okay And so nothing where you're like I got to get to this no like best buy for a hundred bucks You're like waiting on a purchase No, I know there's like I did a show and somebody gave me like a van lewin free ice cream cone I give it to somebody who comes over. Okay, I like that

Do you have any baking soda in your fridge or freezer currently in my fridge and it's been there for too long It needs to be replaced. Okay, you know they have the suction cup ones now You can put it on I have proper baking soda because I'll take it sometimes I have heartburn Love I put it in a nice little ramekin my sauce ramekin I tell every lot of if you get heartburn half a it. So I put it in a nice little ramekin, my sauce ramekin. I tell everyone. Love it. If you get heartburn, half a teaspoon of baking soda and water, it's gone instantly.

I also would like to do a plug for IB Guard. Please. It's this pill that's peppermint oil and it's friggin' magic. Okay. Magic. It works. Stomach ache, heartburn, take it within minutes. Magic.

I like it so much, I want to invest in the company. I stick with Nexon. For that reason, I like the hard stuff. Huh right uh can you whistle Rick that was done in post for the audio listener I should have said with your fingers if you get mail for the wrong person what do you do if it's in my because I have a place where like if it's in your building yeah I go and I put it by their door okay if it's not in your building if it's you know your your one two three main street it comes in for 100 Main Street or one two three I only think it's happened once where it

was it like I could just walk out and drop it there and it was someone across the street and I think it was still just across the street are you looking will you open it I think is the question. No, no, no. No peeking. Do you know your neighbors? Some of them. Yeah. Yeah. I got some phone numbers. They dive in the bushes. Like, whoa, you said they dive in the bushes. Uh huh.

Why do I have that reputation? Why do you think that? I don't think you would say that to anybody. No, that's a generic joke. You think you really? For sure. That your that your neighbor that your neighbors don't like, that's a generic joke. I think you think you really for sure that you're that you're that your neighbors don't like you because I I resonate with it. like I'm thinking like I mean maybe this isn't like I don't

want the whole chest hair incident again. That's not what I know. I don't want you afraid to look at your neighbor. I wasn't sure also because I know you like Homer so much and he's a big you know hiding in the bushes kind of guy. Do you have a grill lighter at the house? Yes. Okay. Do you have a grill lighter at the house? Yes. OK. Do you have a grill? No. OK. Whoa. What are you doing fireworks? Same with my pepper shaker.

Sometimes I just want to light it and season it from. Nice for candles. What about binoculars? You got binoculars at the house? No. OK. Hmm. All right. It wouldn't toilet seat or binoculars. OK. Have you ever owned cargo sweatpants? No, but I love cargo shorts and and pants when I was younger okay I had cargo pants that unzipped

into shorts yikes to play basketball in you played basketball in them even when you first starting out so Woody Harrelson did it and white man can't jump he kicked ass look at him now look it wasn't a champion's to they didn't have zip-offs back then he was a a cutoff. You wore cargo shorts. That's different though Huh? When was the last time you were on a boat? What I don't know. I can't even pull it. I mean I was on a ferry with my car coming back from Newport Beach Wow, that's that guy's I guess July 4th 2023 I mean, I was on a ferry with my car coming back from Newport Beach.

Wow, that's nice. I guess July 4th, 2023. What is the car these days? Can we ask you? What are you whipping around town in? What are you whipping around town in L.A.? Can I guess? Yeah. Tesla. That's a pretty good guess. Or something sensible.

RAV4. Prius. No, it is a hybrid electric Audi Q5. I think that's a good guess or I don't have to fill up that much, but more so so I could up driving the HOV lane. Is it white? black nice keep it clean Normally, but after the fires I've been and of course I haven't and I was gonna get it washed but I'm like then I'm coming in New York and Boston and Philadelphia mm-hmm let it sit for a little bit good Listen we tried we threw the book at him again a second time It's all fucking class bulletproof

100% class my friend you and your little friend there. Mm-hmm your little buddy Which the dog makes you look classier to be honest with you Yeah, and you're also kind of now comic that you bring the dog everywhere, which I think you've earned and deserved I'm on the family small Small enough of a doggy when I'm when I'm it's like when I'm in New York like I'm here And then I'm going to do another podcast and blah blah blah, and I'm gone all day So if I'm gonna be gone all day, I'm gonna take the dog Take the dog and if I have a show I don't I'll take the dog with me

But I'm not like leaving my house and bringing the dog to the shows all the time. You know what I mean? Got you. We don't spots in LA or something like that. A couple of times I brought a dog. Uh uh one was intentional when Jordan Jensen was in town. I wanted to. Shout out Jordan. Yeah. And she had a coyote and I wanted them to

meet and they just chill in the green room. But he really I do bring him on the road. He's a good hang. And I I I do bring him to shows. I leave him in the green room. Yeah. No. I love having a man when traveling. He's a good dude, man

I get it. We someone to roll with good wingman Rick Glassman, ladies and gentlemen brought to the ringer twice Coming out on top hundred percent classy kids. Oh beat Bobby Flay you he wins around 70% of the time He's tough to beat man. The guy's good an iron chef like Ching-Lun. How many, what do you think the percentage of people that are coming into class here are? There's very few. There's very few. Very few good. You're aforementioned, Miss Jensen.

Yikes. I think Tom Sagor, class both times, we tried. Yeah, that's about, Jensen was- Francis Ellis. Chaz. Chaz Palmatieri. Jensen was Francis Ellis jazz jazz commentary Jensen was the king of trash until we ran into Christina P down in Austin

Christina Pischitzky You're all class buddy all class we love you buddy. Thanks for coming by thanks for having me anything you got coming up You want folks to know him? I'm on tour the Ricky's on the loose tour Punch up dot live slash Rick Glassman. I don't know when this comes out, but tickets are up there and adding new cities I'm on tour. The Ricky's on the loose tour. Uh I got my tickets at PunchUp.live slash Rick Glassman. I don't know when this comes out but tickets are up there and um adding new

cities uh back into the year. Uh I don't know if I can take it. If you don't know, check out the podcast. Uh huh. He's one of the funniest, most unique uh comedians and actors working and we absolutely love him. Mm hmm. Right? Yeah. Right

Alvin? Who you looking at? Simon and Theodore? Oh man. What do you got for him, the