Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Rosebud Baker Answers Your Questions!

Episode Date: March 1, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back old pal Rosebud Baker! Rosebud returns to answer your garbage questions. Kippy, Foley and Rosebud talk fighting with your siblings, trashy food, trashy babies, and tattoos! Its a fun one!  PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.sheathunderwear.com https://stereo.com/kevinryan Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?  

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's a show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grew up classy or if they're an absolute trash. I'm

your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're back here Aunt Toody's basement. Sure. The bedbugs are gone. I want everybody to know that the bedbugs are gone. Fleas are back. What I heard from Mary Jo Finnery, alright over at the deli was that one when we were away last week, Toody saw a lazy boy out on the street, paid the UPS guy 20 bucks to bring it in. Turns out it was infested. It was lousy with bedbugs. So we had to shut the joint down for a little bit. Get the

place bombed. But I found out Toody resold it on Facebook Marketplace. So we covered the bombing right there. It's good to be hearing about this for the first time after I sat on some cushions. These have a real fucking letterman vibe to them. I can't tell if you're fucking around or what. And then she resold it on Facebook Marketplace. Now it's somewhere out in Long Island. We just keep following

the chair. We haven't been here in a while. It's fun to do this. My co-host is coming at you. So I'm rudely right next to me. Jesus Christ. Every time Foley leans on the table. We got I got to put I gotta put steel legs on this thing. I got the giggles of me today too. Ever since Ribs, ever since Ribs walked in, I've been having the chuckles.

Ribs went over the starboard side. I'm like is this my nicotine lozender is the table shaking so much Foley's storytelling. Get some dramedy. Anywho I excuse me for breaking the fourth wall there folks. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of R U Garbage. Really he turned the podcast into a global conglomerate. Okay. Kevin James Ryan everybody. Still no cards

have been shipped out. Stop fucking emailing me. Guys all the cards are going out this week. What's up. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube. Those numbers are true to fucking roof baby. Get involved and then also I mean you know it. I know it. T-bone knows it. Patreon.com slash R U Garbage where it all happens. You can sign up you get bonus episodes of AYG you get episodes of hard feelings which is me

and Foley behind the curtains. Hard what. Hard feelings. Oh we got him. You want him. You love it. We know it. $10 members do it. It's the fucking hit of the year. I didn't know that. I thought that was going to be a fucking. This is the longest intro. Use car commercial every time. Foley talk. If you don't act now. Patreon.com and then put the top tier people we play R U Garbage with you guys once a month. Sign up. It's a good time. All right. And of course a shout out to our producer

Jordan air the pride of the Chicago comedy. Yeah. T-bone McMuffin McMullin. Toby McMullin everybody. There you go. You're all good. Yeah. Well I got Foley's broken cable that destroyed this big fucking sausage fingers God. Yeah. Damn him. He bones out. He bones popping and crackling over there. I am. When we first started we were using handheld before like we didn't have any money for fucking nine dollar stands. Yeah. So we were using handheld mics and always just so fucking high

strong. Yeah. That he was going through a brand new cable every week. Chewing through it. Chewing right through it. He ran out of the nicotine. I look over he'd have it wrapped around his hand like he's a fucking gladiator. He's fucking pounding the table. I had a whole thing about these nice DMs. I've been getting people asking if I have the flagrant flu or if I got the covid. Yeah. No. You know. I'm afraid to talk into this thing now. Yeah. You're good. Just don't touch

it. You'll be fine. God he's put it in. Any bad jokes blame it on the cable. Yeah. We love you buddy. Yeah. Thanks guys. Gang. This is a family episode. If you couldn't tell by now we have a previous guest on an old friend of ours. We got a little company in here. We started from fucking Jump Street. Yeah. Not in the village. We were just reminiscing about it. I think on your episode we said you were classy. I think. No. She was trash. I'm pretty sure. But then you came

in with the sleeve tattoo. Yeah. Yeah. First of all it's not totally a sleeve. It's not totally it's infected like Sailor Jerry might be infected which which does it is a little trashy. Look at that old ma right there. Look at that thing. It might as well be an anchor. This broads rough around the edges. Damn you got some fucking pipes on you too though. Those Germans won't we. It is fucking it's very red right now. I mean my my what did you get that on the way in. I got it

yesterday. Got that in the sheets. I got this less than 12 hours ago. Jesus Christ. Also I think I think it's the perfect explanation of Rosebud is to take off a nice card against sweater and then show her brand new sleeve tattoo. This isn't your trash. This isn't a sleeve. I just have small arms. You have not a collared shirt. I can tell you that. This is this is what they call a panel panel. I found that out. So what is it? It's a rat in a flower? What is it? It's a rat

in a flower. Holding the flower. That's you again. You're a rat in a flower. That's right. That's right. I said I want something that's pretty but tough and they were like and they she goes well what about a little mouse knitting and I was like I don't want knitting on there. I don't want anybody knitting on my arm. Sure. And she said well what if we just put a mouse in a flower and I said that that works but I did let her pick it. I didn't. So it's a mouse or a rat. It's

a mouse. Be cool if it was a rat. It would eat pizza. Would it? That's disgusting. Yeah, that's not you don't want to fucking revolt. Um is that your first tattoo? This is my no this is my first real one. You know what I mean? The first one where I'm like I feel it in my arm. What are the other ones you have? You have like a heart or something. I have like I have like a little feather here. I have the word pal behind my ear. That was my first one. P a l p o w. Oh

not prisoner of war. Just pow. Like pow. Like pow. Yeah, that was like that was just a mood I was in. I was I didn't know what I I've never picked a tattoo before I walked in to get it including this one. That's the way to go I think. Yeah. Is Q I roll. Listen, I think that's uh that is the way to go because I feel like people get these tattoos. They're all meaningful and then they want to fucking describe to you what it means and it's like I don't need a I kind of like

that too. But that's like getting the getting the haircut off the haircut wall. Yeah, like give me the number 18. Give me the 18. Yeah, that's so what's wrong with that. And then are these little one is that pen? Yeah, no, these are actually that's real tattoo. This is a real tattoo but it was just somebody came to a party. Somebody came to a party with a tattoo gun and I just let him practice on me. So, I probably have hepatitis. Just get screw balls. Jesus Christ. This

girl's bond goes. Yeah. Dang, this is our incredibly special guest that we have here with today. We didn't even introduce her. That's that's the kind of fire we're getting off to here. Back in fucking Tooties. But let's talk real quick. She is the co-host with her main squeeze Andy Haynes of Find Your Beach the amazing podcast and she's going to be recording her debut album in Zany's Nashville March 14th. Ladies and gentlemen, our old pal from the Beltway to

Broadway to Hollywood baby. Rose Bud Baker. Yeah. Ribs Baker. Thanks for coming in. Man, I was not really seriously. Does this look infected to you? How the fuck would I? Everything looks infected. Yeah, that's true. You look infected. This looks like your neck. I have a thing that's like a pimple. It's not a pimple. I can't get at it. It's crazy. Yeah. Well, we assumed you couldn't get at it. It just looked. It just looked. You can't even get it at your finger now. He's like,

for some reason, I can't reach around my own body. Yeah. T-Bones out. T-Bones out of condition. Fuck it. Would you say bad cable Kenny? All right. What do you got to say? You gave him that mic on purpose. We took, we took, we took my cables because we had to operate remote last week to do the bed bugs. Yeah. Keep the storyline going. I hope that's not fucking real. I really can't tell. We're in a high rise building right now. We're on the, we're in the basement but

still. Yeah. We got a trash can. We got wet wipes. We got the whole smear here. Yeah, you know how trash cans and wet wipes make you classy. Hey, that was about 22 bucks. I'm not gonna lie. I don't be coming out of the the the tally at the end of the month. Yeah, it will. Yeah. So, with the seed cushions, $18, they spent Amazon. He doesn't like them. Nobody likes them. Rosebud didn't like them. T-Bone didn't like them. I really don't know how you're comfortable sitting on them. I

don't because they were too small for my butt. It's the small. And her butt could fit inside your butt. It feels like you're just, my butt would be as big as this cushion is. Sure. Under yours. Yeah. It's not that. It's just these old hardwood chairs. I'm on heart medication. The old hard chairs, they hurt my butt after doing two episodes. Oh, yeah. Okay. So, I like the cushioning. That's good. I mean, it's good to get your needs met. Thank you. Yeah. A lot of four. He's a big guy.

You know, we gotta we gotta work around it a little bit. I'm a big guy. A big guy with a big heart and we're here on a big podcast. Rosebud fucking screwballs this week. Thank you for coming in. It's also for this is the first time we've seen each other in like probably maybe the longest ever since now. I mean, we've had spent a week. No, more than that, I think. Two weeks. Two weeks maybe. Um so, we get a little, we get a little squirrelly too. It's fun. Like two little

school girls when we get together. Yeah. I see them a couple times a week. I hate them. Yeah. But then I don't see them and I'm like, ah, this guy's great. I miss my brother. Yeah. Yeah. Um but that being said, it's a family episode. Let's get into some of the fucking Patreon questions, baby. So, when you sign up for Patreon, we will answer your garbage question. It's just the best way to do it. Um right before this, we were talking these two dirt balls had to

pop their fucking nicotine lozenges and Nick Nicorette gum. That's what I'm dealing with. I'm outside. I'm still smoking the last man. I can't believe it's what happened. I can't believe what you told me actually happened. What that I the nicotine gum. Yes, I've overdosed on nicotine gum several times. Multiple times. That's one of the trashiest things I've ever heard in my life. I've done it and I'm wearing basketball. I did it with my husband together as one.

We we both did it at the same time. Did he smoke or did he? We both were vaping. It was like how I fell in love. We both like, you know, we screwed for the first time, rolled over and both took a hit off our jewels and I was like, we are soulmates. Really? I can't see him vaping. Oh yeah. Andy Haines, very funny comedian. Yeah, we're both recovering drug addicts. So, you know. Oh, he is. Yeah. Yeah, that's like that's like the fucking addict starter kit. Yeah. Coffee and cigs. Oh yeah. You

get a jewel, a coffee, a tattoo, and a church basement and got yourself the the addict starter pack right there. There you go. Yeah, that being said, this is a perfect lead in. This is from Andrew or Andre. I don't know. You know, your name's kind of fucked up. Have you ever smoked this? It's A-N-D-R-E-J. That's on. Exactly. Did he misspell his own name? I don't know. Just racist. Andrage. Andrage? Andrage? Whatever. You got to screwball first name. Either way, we love you buddy.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette while ordering at a drive-thru? Because that is a top ten derpeg. Man. That's a real derpeg. Absolutely. Really? Yeah. Oh, Rosebud, you're a fucking animal. And you got the cigarette in the hand going out the window to get the to get the burgers. Yeah. To hand them the cash. Yeah. So, the cigarette's going in the window. They go, do you want some sauce? I'm like, I'm not even gonna taste it. All my taste buds are squished. I'm just doing

this for the rebates. I've definitely done that. Yeah. Oh man. For sure. For sure. That's garbage. Is it? I don't think I I don't think I have I've always tried to be very considerate with my smoking. Even now, I started back up like a fucking asshole. Um I go like away from like my apartment built like I try to go I'll encounter the least amount of people. You're good with that. I'll say that. I'll be like, I'll go stand kind of in the street between these two cars.

Yeah. Yeah. But you I've seen you smoking. It always has this very lonely vibe to it. It's me. Yeah. I'm always like it's doing wonders for your social life buddy. You do smoke like Kenny Rodgers. Yeah. I get after them quick. He looks like he's like on a bounty mission every time he fucking lights one up. Gotta close the case. Yeah. This guy's haunted by memories. Yes. Yes. 100 percent. I just got a thousand miles stare just fucking going. I'm gonna go outside and relive the

past for ten minutes. It's tough man. It's as I started smoking again, I like I really fucking hate it. I'm to the point now where I'm like three drags and then I flick it and I'm like, what am I even doing? Yeah. Yeah. For sure. That's how it that's but that's the that's the cycle of smoking. That's the whole thing. I know. That's half the experience of enjoying a cigarette is wondering why you're here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm also like but there are some that are

fucking. Yeah. Yeah. One after like you gotta I know you're recovering but one after the first one after like two or three drinks is the best fucking you can get hands down. Absolutely. Two drinks and you step outside on like an autumn night. Yeah. I get it. You can hear it crackling. Yeah. You're like and it burns. You get it that you have that burning sensation in your throat and you're like this is why I came here. This is what we play for baby. Yeah. I love it.

That's trash. My my mom has definitely done that before. Yeah. Your mom your mom smokes in the sense that like your mom like it's like cartoon like she is the definition of like an 80s smoker. You think? Yeah. Just like hey Henry. She's like tiny little you know the opposite of him. Yeah. I remember you mean my future. Yeah. Yeah. She's Rosebud in 20 years. Yeah. I remember being in our Jeep. We have like a wood the old wooden panel Jeep and it was like the 80s. No seatbelts. If it

was it was a little button when I remember it was like 30 degrees outside or like 30 below it was cold. Yeah. And the windows rolled up the fucking heat on and just yeah. Crushing them just sitting in the back. I miss that. I miss those days when cars wouldn't tell you to save your own life. You know. Oh yeah. They wouldn't beat back or whatever. Fucking obnoxious. I mean how do you know I'm not suicidal. It doesn't shut up. I'm rolling the dice over here. Right. Every once in a while

if you're just zipping around the neighborhood it's nice to have the seatbelt off. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not a big. I'm kidding. You kids keep your seatbelt on. Don't use drugs. Are you. Yeah. His opinions are no way connected to are you garbage incorporated. All right. This one's from this will be more. This is out of my realm a little bit because it's has anyone in your family ever pierced their infant child's ears or how old are you when you got yours. I definitely have cousins that have

pierced their infant child's ears. Yeah. I've seen it at the mall. It does not look fun for anybody involved. The kid freaks out. Yeah. The kid screams right away. I've seen videos of kids that I don't know why I've watched videos like this but I've seen videos of kids getting their ears pierced and they're and they just seem like really chill about it. Really. Yeah. It's pretty cute when you see it. When you see it and they're just like what wow something hurt for a second

and they don't really like you know as long as you're like laughing at a kid. Oh really. Yeah. But I don't I mean I've don't know. Shout out to Nishamini mall. I've seen fucking babies just screaming in the middle. Yeah. Just like at the piercing pagoda or whatever. Right. Yeah. It's a scene. Yeah. My first couple of haircuts I screamed. I can't imagine getting my ears pierced. Really. You were that kid. Sitting there in the fucking fire truck or whatever. Oh my

dude. I bugged out. I don't know what this fucking bozo is going to do. This guy's got scissors and a mustache. I don't know if I can trust this guy. He's coming at you with scissors. I didn't like it at all. I don't care how many lollipops. I fuck you. Fuck that shit. I couldn't imagine getting my ears pierced. I would have lost it because they had this like wooden thing because you couldn't fit in the seat. Oh they put you on the booster. Yeah. They put you on the

booster. I forgot about that. They borrowed it from the TGI Friday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Silk sheet that goes around here. No good. I fucking freaked out. Have you ever pierced any of your own. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I tried. I've tried piercing my belly button. I've tried. What? Yeah. I did get my belly button pierced eventually but it was for one day and it was because I was in a fight with an X. Do you realize how crazy that is?

Yeah. Yeah. I do realize how crazy that is. But he's bare grills. Where are you inside of an elk at the time? I was literally. This guy hated belly button piercing. We got in a fight. I was like I know. So go to the mall. Why would you go bang his brother. No, no, no. These are two separate occasions. So the one time that I successfully pierced it was professionally. I think you told us this on your episode. I think I did. Yeah. I

think I did. I was as I was trash here the second time around. Got a belly button piercing the piss a guy off. Yeah. Never mentioned that I pierced my own though. I tried piercing my own for a while. I sat there with ice on my belly button for probably seventh, eighth grade. Just I was trying to numb myself out and a pin trying to try to do that. Yeah. And what were you going to do? Just leave the pin in there? Yeah. No, you get a safety pin and you

leave it in for like a week to let it establish. Yeah. And then, you know, then you can put whatever in three weeks later. You got tetanus and a nice piercing. Your umbilical cord grows back. Yeah. You can reuse the safety pin. I never could like do that. I couldn't uh I don't have the the guts. Yeah. I was I've told the story. I think on this where it's even attempted means you have you had the guts. Well, then you're you're all you're crazy enough to really like

feel it go in and then keep going. I think I've told you on this. I did my my buddy's eyebrow in seventh or eighth grade and I got in but then I couldn't get through the second layer. You weren't fucking man enough. I thought I was man enough. I'm like, I'll do it. I felt the tissue. I'm like, nope. He's just started bombing. Yeah. No matter how sharp you think it is, man, when you can't get through that other layer of skin, that's when you I know that from

picking out splinters. You're like, that's how you know every doctor's a fucking psycho. They got it. There's something wrong with them. If you can cut someone open. Yeah. You're fucking boncos. I remember I had a couple of uh cysts taken out and uh I got it done. A couple. It looks like they left some in. Why is it so gross when you say a couple? Yeah. Cause it was it was so cavalier about it. So much nastier. Yeah. They were actually called like. I got a little bit of

shit in my pants. He's like anal beads but just cysts basically. Oh man. You're gross. Anyway, the surgeon was so proud of his stitches that he like brought me out into the hallway to show me. Hey, Tommy, get a load of this. I sewed this fat fuck up. You're not gonna believe it. I took a couple of cysts out of this fat bastard. Like a goddamn pot roast. Look at this kid. I gave him a popsicle. I didn't even need to get put down for it. He was like a baby getting his

piece. He was like so proud. Oh god. That was nice by the way. I brought that back. That is a good feeling though. Sometimes jam and something like that in. It feels good. Could you stab someone you think? No. Yeah. I feel like you could in like uh I feel like you lose it even if it's for like a minute. Right? You don't. You stay pretty fucking. I feel you could be like, well, things got out of hand. I'm sorry. I have I have blacked out with rage before. Yeah. That's that's something

that's happened to me. So, maybe if I was in that state, then yeah, possibly. I don't yeah. I don't think you could. You're like, what do you want the other side of the room? I'll get you tomorrow. Not getting off this couch. Just a comb. Yeah. I don't think I could I don't think I could stab or shoot anybody. Yeah. Or beat anybody up for that matter. Shooting anybody. No, shooting anybody for some reason that seems like you have to think about it like there's a because

there's a button you have to press like stabbing somebody. It's almost like that's just an extension of your arm. You forget the knife's there. Why would you have a knife on you? That sounds like plausible deniability. She comes from a good family. I really she's laying an alibi quick. She's set up a gone girl right now. I somebody get Haynes on the phone. I gotta start. I don't even remember going to the podcast. We're all dead. This never gets released. Yeah.

What are you got cooking? Yeah, you gotta set it up. I've already set up the timing of this. I'm like, I got a tattoo 12 hours ago. Yeah, she's already she's already set the parameter. We're taking the fall for something. She's got the door lock. Anyway, yeah, gang real quick. Want to talk to you about the good time we're having over there on the old stereo app every Thursday night at nine o'clock. Uncle Hank and Kippy are

answering your questions. Yeah, guys. It's like a little bit of an after party live stream. You can use our link to sign up for the app. It's www.stereo.com slash Kevin Ryan or slash H Foley. We get to wet our beaks a little bit. Oh yeah. You sign up. You can ask your questions live. We'll answer them live on the air. We get a couple hundred people in there every week. It's a good time. See you there. Gang all bullshit aside. Oh yeah. Sheath underwear is the shit baby. Is the best

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ketchup on tacos. What? Yeah. If you put ketchup on tacos, your trash. I'm sorry. That's the question you put ketchup on tacos? No. No, that's that's Brandon's question. You sound like you're the Santa Nala by now. Yeah. Wait, so you're telling me his question was not him, not me, but his question was not going for it. It jinxed up. You get on the phone like Brandon's a different person. Oh, I'm sorry. This was from H. Shmoly. Hang on a second. You've done it.

Okay, he's done it. Supposed to be friends here. Fucking accusations start flying around. I've seen you two weeks. You've done it. You're fucking grilling me. Have you? Let me explain myself. There's little with food that he hasn't done. I put I put ketchup on things that maybe shouldn't get ketchup but I don't see. Listen, if it's ground beef, it can take ketchup. My god. That's it. You are a pregnant woman in her third trimester. Why not? Listen, I'm not

saying that I would order it but I'm here. It's different countries, man. It's different cuisines here. Well, what is ketchup? Not for tacos. That's what it's for. Ketchup is really just. You ever go to a Mexican? You know what it is? It's an Italian condiment. Yes. Well, it's actually it's an American. It's an American but with Italian roots. Right. It's grandfather came over. Ray over here trying to drop knowledge. Man, you turn tail on that quick. It's an Italian

condiment. The way she said it, I signed right up. I'm like it is. I'm braided bullshitting something I don't sound like Bobby Flake. Yeah. You and I have that in common. What? You and I can bullshit some shit that we don't know and make it sound like we know what we're talking about for like a second. He doesn't know anything that's going on with anything. No but I've heard fully bullshit. I've heard fully bullshit where I've I've

seen people around him nodding like he's right and just been like absolutely not. He has no idea what he's doing most of the time. Yeah. It's also funny. Quiet you because we all started working together and then as Toby learned more about Foley, he's just been like I have one point I look over and he was pulling his hand. It was a cartoonish. He's like, so what do you mean the camera? He's like, how do you have a question to you with? He's like,

how have you made it that far and you're asking that question now? That's crazy. That's great. What's the problem with it? I could see it's trash. That's trash. There's a sauce for it already. They have multiple sauces, the green sauce, the red sauce, salsa. Hold on. You have the seasoned meat, okay? Then you have a taco shell. You put some cheddar cheese, some lettuce, tomato, all things that would that could have ketchup on it.

Why do you need ketchup? Yeah, that's that. Yeah, the fact that it's like to blend with the sour cream. No, you want Thousand Island dressing on your fucking taco. Why wouldn't I? Yeah, that's disgusting, but that's not Thousand Island dressing technically. You are a thousand pound man. I was trying to say it when she said Thousand Island dressing and then it came back around after you. I mean, timing's key to these things folks. We've tried to keep it in

the air for a minute, but then she walked away from it. Everybody's got the guns pointed at each other. Nobody wants to give anybody anything. He just came up like, hey. Yeah, it's when you're laughing, but you know you don't mean it and so you immediately try to put a lid on it. I don't think that's happening. T-bone just said ketchup is British. So you're going British and Mexican. They don't mix. That don't mix. No. In 2020, they do my friend. No. I love you, Kev. Love

all people. Man. I'm all for globalism, but not, you know, that's not putting ketchup. I'm all for globalism. But I put my foot down and that's I like different things on on on I like weird things on different things. No, you like whatever's in the fridge on your taco. You want to have as much possible on your thing. Your various gluttonous. That's what it is. Sure. Yeah. It's a sad meal. Yeah. You shouldn't. That's it. That's worse than having it out of Thanksgiving. Yeah. I

mean, tacos can go. It's a thin line with tacos, you know? Like, tacos are the only food that can go from happy to sad depending on the situation you're eating them in. Oh, that's pretty good. You know? Yeah. Wow. And where you got them. Right. Yeah. I did. I thought that hit home with me because when I was a kid, our tacos were satisfied. They were fucking garbage. You can be eating tacos with a bunch of friends in a restaurant, you know, you're having margaritas, you're

enjoying, you're remembering the days of college, you know, and then if you're alone in your car, it's just if you're parked in a Taco Bell parking lot, there's a different whole different meal. It's not a fiesta. You add you add ketchup to that situation. It's bad. Yeah. Especially because you had to bring your own because Taco Bell didn't give it to you. Yeah. I remember one time when I worked in an office, this guy brought tacos in for lunch that he had made not like

Taco Bell. He brought tacos that he had. Nobody talked to him about. Fuck out of here. You're bringing yesterday's or take it. With your soft corn tacos. Yeah. Hit the fucking bricks. Yeah. I remember it's bothered me forever. I saw a guy with with a pound of cheese, a pound of turkey, and a pound of hand making fucking sandwiches on the beach. And I was just like, this is the most insane thing I've ever seen in my life. And I apologize. Good God. He'd been there for

three days. All right. Sandwiches on the beach can get a little dicey. That mayo after when that sun's on it for a little bit. Yikes. Yeah. Yeah. Tang in there. Yeah. I don't know if we did this one. This was from another time. Do you feed the seagulls when you go to the beach? Fuck. Yeah, I have really? I have. Yeah. Not recently but yes, I've done that. Maybe that's unforgivable. Maybe I call the police on you. If you were if you were by my crew, you'd be fucking I think

I think I think she's got drugs or something. That's fair. Did you grow up going to the beach though? Did you guys was you guys summer? We were more of a camping family. You're a camping family. Yeah. My dad loved to camp. That's the thing. As a little kid, you know, going to the Jersey Shore your whole life, you have that for a second where you're like, I like the seagulls. Then they fucking instantly become your enemy. Right. Real fucking quick and even today. Yeah. They're

worse than ever. Yeah. Oh, the seagulls have gotten way worse now. It's the music and the sneakers. They're terrible. It's so funny. It's so try. My mom has a theory because we go down the shore every I feel like they've gotten bigger too. She's like, they like orange things. So like if anybody has Doritos or something, put the Cheetos down. The birds like it. The birds like it more. They're drawn to the color orange. I'm like mom. Okay. Absolutely. QAnon level insane.

She's yelling at other groups. It's the Gatorade cast. It's the Gatorade cast. That's like when my dog would fucking freak out at somebody. I'd be like, I think it's the color blue. Yeah. My dog freaks out all the time. My mom makes up different things for it every single time. Yeah. It's to this. It's to that. Yeah. At this. You're just an abused wife at a certain point. You're like trying to come up with situation. It's just your clothes. It's just your

personality. I'm sorry. Yeah. But fuck seagulls. Yeah. Fuck them. Yeah. Absolutely. I dude. I love all. They're worse than pigeons. Yeah. I actually yeah. They are. I don't really bother. They're really the pigeon. They're dirty but they don't bother. I like a pigeon. I've had pigeons fly dangerously close to my fucking face in New York. Yeah. I had a pigeon shit on my nose once. Jesus. Yeah. People say that's good luck. I'm like not if it's on your nose. Yeah.

Save it. I was going to JFL and I was on the phone trying to change my phone plan with the with the operator lady. I go ah. She goes why I was like I need you to stay on the phone with me for a second. A bird just shit on my face. Well good news is your lucky day. We can upgrade you for only nine ninety nine a month. I go is that good luck. She goes not if it's on your face. And your next question. This is from Ivan growing up. Did you ever spit on one of your siblings door

in a fight. Because I've been spit on a bunch. My brother was ruthless at times. That's a good question. I probably but not you know it wasn't like a call. Yeah. It was like you know what I mean. I wasn't like gathering up. Mucus or anything. Yeah. But we it was all it was all girls in my family. So spitting wasn't but I feel like you're all kind of spunky a bit. I feel like you're all a little bananas. Yeah we are. At least the one that more is more of a girls thing in fights when I pay

for it is. No I think it was more of like a kicking lying on your back and kicking air pull. Oh that was big. Yeah. Well I'm on your back. Dude if you were pinned up on your shoulders that's a bourbon girl jiu-jitsu. Yeah that's the last act of a desperate man. Yeah that was a lot of my siblings. I remember looking at a lot of my sisters on their backs kicking. Yeah. Like a fucking pig that couldn't turn over. Trying to catch your breath. Yeah. My brother held me down one time. He would

do like the knees on the shoulders right which is like an unforgivable move. It's like I would never have the being on the opposite. I know that's so much I could never do it to somebody because it's so frustrating and so demeaning. Yeah. And he held my head down and spit in my ear dude and I still feel it. Like I still feel it in my ear and it still gets me mad. Wow. Because we went Willie. I think I wet Willie don't and he was like oh yeah. I just pulled my ear. He just

pisses on your face. Paid him for that too. Hey I can't come without it. Oh man. This is from Ryan Hodges. Did your family used to reuse birthday candles? Wash them off and then reuse them. Oh yeah. No. No. Never did that. Really? Yeah. Really? Why do you say it so sternly? They're a nickel. Just never did. For like a hundred of them. Never did. You know for a fact your mom never did that. Yeah. Come on. I know because my mom she she was constantly throwing shit away. My mom's

big thing was like walking through the house if she couldn't identify an object or who it belonged to it go in the trash. Yeah. I love that mentality. Get it to fuck out. You can buy a new one. Yeah. Throw it throw it out. Are you sure with related to candles though? I'm positive buddy. It's pretty classy. Yeah. That's the difference between you two. You're a reusable candle. I'm surprised you didn't. You open up your junk drawer. There's like a four and nine. Oh yeah. All

half melted. We'll reuse the number. You're like 49 only a couple more years. You're calling up. You're calling up your hand. Hey Trish can you bring over a six. It's Tommy's 16th birthday. I got the one. We just need the six. You got a six. You're getting two birthdays out of it. Six and nine. You're making your cakes vintage. Should you try to match the candles? There's a blue one. You know the seven yellow. Yeah. Totally. There was a there was a Ziploc bag that

had that had all the candles in there burnt ones. That's poor person mentality. Well you know what you know it's even more trashier. We had the candle holder. Remember the little flower. Yeah. Those things were real shitty. Yeah. We had that too. Remember those. Did uh were you guys ever big on like the read what are the the ones that wouldn't go out of like reasonable ones. Man. That was like they someone did that once at a birthday party for a cousin and everyone was like you we

don't do that. You know what I mean. Well it's disgusting. I mean you're just spitting on the cake. That's the gender reveal party of the 80s. It really is. The trick. It really is. Yeah. Yeah. Now we don't do that over here. We don't do the trick candles. You know what that made me think of. I don't know why the candle holders. Did you guys have the little the corn things that went into the ears of corn. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Fun. Someone. I don't again. I don't know who it was. Someone

asked. Is that garbage. I think that's what's the class. What's the trashiest way to eat corn on the cob. That's the that was somebody's question. I don't know. Here's the thing. I think when those came out it was the classy way to do it and then they went from classy to trashy in like a year. Yeah. Because they were like they were like cheap and they were little corn pieces of corn. Yeah. And you just look more like a rat eating it. You know and they didn't work

that great. They didn't work that great. They really didn't. What's the classiest way to eat it then. The clip. It's a great question. You slice it off. No. Yeah. My stepmom used to do that. Nope. No. No. I used to fucking love it. I think the classy way to eat corn is with your hands. What do you mean. That's gotta be like just hold it. Yeah. Like that. Yeah. It's almost like well what because you know now in this form anybody eating anybody eating corn with their

hands has nothing you know their hands are nothing to be afraid of. Like anybody that's afraid to touch their own food is probably trash. That's pretty genius. That's how you tell the people are clean. Mm hmm. He's corn on the cob with his hands. Yeah. That guy he washes his fucking hands. I don't know. Or is it. I don't I think it's just a trash food all together. Ah you're kind of what the fuck. I'm not saying it's not good. You're not wrong. If you're at a

barbecue or whatever you grab a piece. Yeah of course I don't have anything in my pocket now. It's absolutely trash food. I mean when you talk about trash food. We talk about corn on the cob. You talk about corn fed people. You're talking about trash. That's Americana summertime. Fourth of July. Trash. Trash. Old trash. He just fucking called you out like you know. But my. My. Trash. Yeah. Yeah. Fourth of July is when we break out the trashiest dessert of all

time. Some know it. Some don't. Yeah. The friendlies watermelon roll. Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't even know what that is. Yeah. What they do. It looks like a fake what they make a cake look like a watermelon. They make an ice cream cake look like a watermelon on the outside. Oh I know what you're talking about. The only time he eats fruit. Watermelon. Toby hit my close up. It's watermelon ice cream in the center. It's unbelievable and chocolate

chips. Fucking a Foley family favorite. They happen to Thanksgiving. The worst was to get in the job to clean the corn as a kid. They would hang like five brown bags of corn and be. I would always half acid. They would be 120 degrees. You're sitting out there with your siblings like Shawshank Redemption. Yeah. And for that day we were like free men. You're like can you play some opera for me mom. And just like I remember they'd be like who did this one and

I like half assed it. Yeah. You didn't call down on my shit work. Go to the store get some niblets. Let's come on. Keep it moving. You guys a cream corn family. Do you ever do that. No. Yeah. Actually yes. Yeah. Yeah. Love no way. Cream corn. That was one of those things that we talked. My mom we did on the Patreon we called our parents for the first episode of the Patreon. We played with our parents and my mom's like she wouldn't feed us anything that she didn't

like. So like I didn't have and she didn't like beans so I didn't have beans until I was like thirty one years old. Oh shit. I was just like yeah we don't do it. Now I fucking love them. Yeah. But cream corn was one of those things. It was just like it would never even existed in my house. Loved it. Yeah. I liked it too. I loved cream corn and the and the potatoes with the put you put them in cheese like a lot or whatever. Yes. Oh great. Yeah. The best the

classiest potato is the twice baked potato. Do you know that. Yeah. Yeah. Those are great. Yeah. Do I. Yeah. Does your family make them. We make them once a year I think on Thanksgiving. We used to do this. We used to do the frozen ones in the old bay on top of whatever. Yeah. Yeah. That's trash. A little paprika. Just about anything. I honestly will a little paprika. That's how trashy he is. He's like the red and he's like if you can find a spice in a plastic

container. Let me tell you something. You're at the four seasons. All right. Deviled eggs without paprika with paprika. Huh. Without paprika. Deviled eggs. You're adding syllables. Yeah. Paprika. Is there another right in there. It's paprika. Yeah. Isn't it. Oh. She just fucking stuck down. It's a little bit of money. It's paprika. Speak to Queens English around here sir. I'm sorry Mrs. Pardon me. Oh my god. He's even doing the trashy English accent. It

doesn't. Cockney. Cockney. We'll be in trouble. Body trouble. It wouldn't make sense if I did the hybridist accent which I also can do. Hit it. No I can't do it. But I love that you said deviled eggs without paprika is trash and then add deviled eggs. Period is trash. Are they. Rosebud. Yeah. Absolutely. I don't know enough about we'd have a fucking. Deviled eggs is trash unless you're in fucking London. I don't trash. Why London. I think they eat them

for like tea. You don't know what the hell you're talking about that and they catch up you just smoke screen. They definitely put deviled eggs like on a sandwich in London for high tea. Really. Yeah. That sounds pretty good. Yeah. I'm also saying this with confidence and yeah I can I can I can see I see a little hole. You don't know. Nope. Nope. You know be pretty good. Is it doubled egg on a BLT. Double eggs on BLT's. Are you garbage cookbook. It's coming.

It's brewing. I love it. Deviled eggs London. Let's see. Maybe it is. Old favorites grams. I don't know. No that's definitely an American garbage thing. That's well they're garbage. You're just saying they're garbage. No. Great though. I don't know. I don't fuck with them. Crazy. Those and hard boiled I don't fuck with unless it's a ramen then we'll talk. That's typically soft boiled. Yes it is. Look at you. Extending your palate past the chicken. My lady

likes more more than Applebee's. You know what I mean. I gotta I'm googling a lot of stuff at these restaurants we go to. What the hell is a soft boiled egg. Well it's funny because she does there's some things that she doesn't know language like just language wise and she go like what is a deviled egg and I'm such a fucking terror. I'm like I don't so then I gotta Google it. Right. And they know I don't belong at these places she likes to

go to. Yeah. But it is what it is. I can see why you guys got married. She can't totally speak English. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't know we're married technically. That's fair. Yeah. She just yeah. She thinks we're roommates. That checks out. They are just friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Any good. It's all right. It wasn't bad. All right. This is kind of a two-parter from two different people. This is how trashy our listeners are. Great minds think alike.

This is from Eric Bay. Real last name. Sorry I'm ugly. All right. That's his page on name. Good luck. Nice. When all the plates are dirty. Have you ever eaten a meal off something that wasn't a plate. Yeah. Like what. Is there something. A napkin. That's that's all right. Yeah. You got napkins on hand. That's pretty good. Yeah. I mean that's not the answer. Grab a magazine. I have. It was southern living. Better homes. You're just dreaming

about somewhere else to live. Man if I could get my act together. I could live in this plantation house. You're like I've got I've got a highlights around here somewhere. Third grade off an L magazine. Yeah. I've used you know the lid to a Chinese container works perfectly as a as a plate. Yeah. Also to I've used I've used pizza boxes for sure. Yeah. But those are meant to be plates but not pizza. What's in there. That's fine. Like I've like

made something and then like you just eat off the top of the like the pizza box was empty from the night before or whatever. All right. So the pizza box is like sitting on the counter like ready to go out to the trash. I don't think that makes you trashy. I think it just means you're going through a hard time. It depends what it is. I could be both. I don't I don't maybe I don't even know. I'm not even like spaghetti. It's not spaghetti soup. It's just

something. I'm just sucking a cardboard box. You're taking bites out of it. Just sucking all the moisture out and throwing it in crackers. Yeah. Which isn't bad. It's just something to serve as like a crumb catcher kind. I would say if I'm making this up toast. Yeah. Whatever. I'm saying I'm eating something that was garbage a minute ago. I will say calling your plate a crumb catcher is is garbage. Without a doubt. It's the best thing. You got to say about

their beers around here. That's what old guys say about their beer. Yeah. My soup paste. No they called their mouth a soup cooler. What a soup cooler. That's yeah the old soup cooler I think it's called. How old are you. Somebody on the last episode. People I don't know if you they said give me because you're just filled with these blue collar white trash stains. Maybe. You have a good time on the podcast. What do you want for me. We're having a fun time.

And then this was also in the same day. The way you said that I didn't believe you. It's time to take us. We're having a good time. Everybody's cold. My parents did the ultimate one of those to me last night. I called them. They were on their way somewhere and they instantly got me off the phone like I knew something was wrong. The little it was like hey what's going on. Oh we're just driving and all of a all right we'll talk to you later literally literally in

that and they hung up nothing in between nothing literally that was it and I called it back and I was like what's going on. My mom's like we're lost. She didn't know how to use the GPS on her new iPhone. No she just meant like personally. She's still trying to find yourself. She said they're driving. They're just sitting in the car. No and for the second who I am anymore for the second time she's whacked the antenna off of the Explorer coming out of

the garage because she puts it in there comes out of the snow. Second time she slipped it. You saw it. You saw it. Yeah when we we went down to film we did a crib at his childhood home. Yeah. It's on the fucking Patreon and his mom was leaving like when we got there she's like I gotta like leave us and me and Toby were out front like doing like the shot of the front of the house and she was backing up and like ended up like four houses down like in the front yard.

She hits the curb over the curb. The cars rattling his dad's bopping his head around. It was like a fucking scene. That's great. I'm like don't I think we even got it on camera. I'm like yo she's about to go off the curb. Toby just slowly panned and caught it and she swears she does. She does it good but when I went when I was homeless I looked up the sides of the driveway where the grass are. There's like turf marks. Yeah. It's all mud and shit. Yeah. She pulls

out of there like she's pulling out of the hideout or something. Jesus Christ. She's doing a bank job. That's how I drove when I was drunk. Never done that. Yeah. All right. We're moving on. We've all parked in the yard, right? Once or twice a New Year's Eve. I don't you know I don't want to admit anything here but one night I might have roses look good. I woke up at my mom like I was like living in my I was in college or whatever and like I woke up and I was

like all right and I'm like fuck. I don't know how the you know. Yeah. Well, when you say I woke up at my mom's like you didn't expect to be there. She lived in California. It was weird. I woke up and I was like oh fuck my car's not here so I'm like I must have left it. I think it was New Year's actually. I must have left it at you know fucking Steve's house. It's not a living room. I was like I'll just walk to Steve's house and I go up like I walk out my street, make a

left and then I left and my car was there. I'm like oh god. I parked somewhere else in my neighborhood and walked home for some reason. Oh my god. Stay off drugs folks. Yeah. Don't do them kids. Stay in school. The other one from Jacobs every year. Ever used a bowl to drink out of because you didn't have any clean glasses. I like it sometimes. It's because you're a cow. I've also I also don't even drink out of bowls. I don't know why. I haven't but I have done

something way trashier. Lay it on. An ashtray. You run out of toilet paper and you use coffee filters. That's not bad. Coffee filters. Listen, I'm not saying it feels good. I'm saying I made a decision. I'm using paper towels like an asshole. No, I got real creative. But are they flushable? They are. They are. Are they? Yes. I mean, I've tried it. Yeah. No, I mean, we know they'll go down the toilet but are they supposed to be flushable? No. Okay. I mean,

is toilet paper supposed to be? What do you do with the coffee? We're gonna play games. I mean, that's not. I mean, that's literally. Talks to man things with me. A coffee filter. That's smart and also who's got coffee filters in the house. That's pretty good. Well, we were I told you we were a camping family for one or two resourceful. I'm sure it was probably number two because that's when you get creative like that. You know what I mean? Number two, you

got it. You go. If you're hand up with a one, you can make do. Yeah. We use a sock. I've heard people doing that. Yeah. I can never do it. Yeah. I've had to shit in the woods a couple of times. I had to shit in the woods a couple of times. All right, Joe. I got a toothpick. It's another one of your shit. I had to shit in the woods the one time. Toby, zoom in. That's what I keep these new things. Yeah, I shit in the woods once or twice. No, but you take your

show off. You put your hand and you can like you can get a little scoop back. Oh, I never thought to do like that. That's pretty good. Throw it in the fucking bushes. Hey, hey, Mrs. coffee. Relax. I didn't use the I didn't use the I don't have to scoop my own shit out of my ass. All right. It's not a fucking ice cream bar. Have you ever pooped in the woods? Yeah. Pooping without the you don't realize the buffer that that water gives in the bowl with smell. Oh, yeah. That's the whole

point of the water. You know that, right? I didn't know that. Yeah, the whole point of the water is to keep the so I was to get it out of the house. No, it's to keep the smell because the smell can't come. There's not water under that. The water only sits in the bottom of the toilet. Yeah. Right, but if there wasn't water, it would just sit there. Yeah, but the smell from the whole sewage system, the water stops the smell from the sewage system. Yeah. The P-trap. Oh, wow. We're

learning things. Yeah. Family of plumbers. Shout out to local six nine. Don't cross the line. If you do, you're a fucking rat. Fucking scab. You think I won't shit in the woods? You think I won't shit in the woods? Does a kippy shit in the woods? This has been a wacky episode, folks. Yeah. Does a kippy shit in the woods. Um, all right, let's see. This is from Joe. Have you ever taken a hair out of your food at a restaurant and kept eating the meal? Yeah, but that was just

to be agreeable. Yeah. To who? To just not cause a scene or whatever. Not to be exactly what people think I am. Yeah, you have. Can you send this back face? Yeah. For sure. Yeah. I want the restaurant closed by tomorrow. I'm gonna break down stereotypes today and just eat this. Yeah. I get it. Um it's funny you mentioned that. Recently, like this week, uh I was at home and my girlfriend had prepared something and one of her hairs was in there. Yeah. Tubes. Sprinkle them on. A

little garnish with a paprika. Sprinkle them on like food of cocking. Uh one of her hairs was definitely in it and I just kept eating it. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's fine. Yeah. It's fine. Miss what it is. It's somebody else's. Sure you guys have exchanged DNA before. It's not uh it's true. Um all right, this is from Michael. This is from Michael. Uh this is just a funny. Did your doorbell ever not work for longer than a six month period? Oh yeah. Really? I believe my doorbell ever

works. Until recently. Get up to that house. You press the button. It just goes too far. Yeah. You can feel there's no resistance behind it. Like what the fuck is this? I remember our doorbell broke and my mom never fixed it. She just never she just put um uh Christmas decorations on the doorbell so that like or on the door handles so when you opened it a bunch of like jingles reindeer jingles happened. It's pretty good. Made sneaking out impossible. Sounds like a general

store. Yeah. Exactly. You know when someone comes in. How you doing folks? Hey, it's like you're in a western. You make an announcement. That's yeah. Mom, wish you're dinner. You're like old man rivers is fucking shot up the bar down the way at the old mill. Rosebud drove drunk again. She's down in the well. Yeah. I'm all right. Rosebud stole the mirror's car again. Yeah. We gotta get downtown. I was waiting for you to chime in with your prospector boys. Come on. You've been

fucking workshopping for a month now. That's a pretty good one. How many doorbells did you have? We had two. What the fuck? Two. We had two doorbells. We had like what do you mean? We had the small one on the dishwasher. We had a small one. A small and then like a bigger one. Did you have two entrances? What's? No, they were at the same entrance. The one was like the intercom system. I got one when regular bozos came around. You had an intercom system? That's classy. I'm

surprised you didn't. I would expect you to. Well, it depends on that. We talked about this at some point. I'm jealous. You could see that. Yeah, she was like, you had an intercom. Hold on just a fucking second. No, um in the eighties, my parents had some cash and they got a house built and that was like state of the art technology for like a week. Right. Was like, oh, you'll be able to intercom each room or whatever. Okay. Tell the rest of it. It also went to the neighbors. Like that

our back deck, you could talk to the neighbor's front deck kind of. It was like a cul-de-sac and everybody's supposed to know each other. It's supposed to be like a little like. You guys had walkie-talkies installed in your house. Ultimately is what it was. We're like a set player. How weird is that? That is fucking weird. You gotta see the console in this. That's very weird. It's hidden. It's like you don't see it because like the the one door covers it all

the time but it's like wooden. That is the weirdest. It was it was it was hot for probably a weekend in the eighties and they were like, let's put them in this house and it just it's the probably because of the Cold War. You wanted to be able to coordinate. It's like people people. That's what I was gonna say. I was like, this feels like some government interference shit where they sell you something and then you buy it and then you go, oh wait, we have phones. Yeah, it was

similar. Yeah, I don't we never used it. I don't even know if it ever fully worked. Some kind of early warning system Yeah. Mm hmm. I don't know. Well, they never got us. So, the cops coming down the street. Burn it. Burn it. Who knew what my dad was doing? Janie, if your son's over there, tell him to get underneath the covers. Kippy shits in the woods. That's the code. Send there. That's like that's that's the flipping pigeons of a cul-de-sac. Let's get on the intercom system of

the neighbors. Absolutely. Pete's coming around the corner. Alright, let's do a couple. Two doorbells. Yeah, we had the big one and then the little one. That doesn't even make sense. So, we had like the ding dong and then we had the like uh like the longer song if you wanted to be classical. Mm hmm. That's crazy. I don't know. The classical doorbells are definitely trash. I think the song doorbells in general stink. You knock. Get a knocker. Knockers are classy. Yeah, you

knock. Doorbells are for big houses though. True. You know, you can't you can't hear a knock from the West Wing. Growing up, we had over the screams of the May. Somebody's over the over the pitch and trying to unionize. Somebody's always being paid to vacuum. You know what I mean? Oh, that's not this isn't even this isn't a patreon but at any point at any of the houses you had the vacuum system in the wall. Yes. Really? We did have that. Did we have to we did

all talk about this on the first day or not? We definitely had that. That was my neighbor had that. That was the best. Something else. So jealous. You just put the tube in the wall. Yeah. And if you have little siblings, you tell them to put their ear up against it. All of a sudden, they're screaming for fucking life. Their ear. Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with you? It's a lot of fun. You put a cheek up or something. Yeah. Or you're in there. Yeah. That's

the real my mom had ours taken out when I hit puberty. She had a decommission. God damn kids fucking the wall again. They're like, yeah, we found we found coming your vacuum system again. You're gonna have to shut that down. Well, Mrs. Ryan, don't have to tell you this, but I'm eating it out. You got two pounds of coming your vacuum system. You're all clogged up. We've seen this all over the neighborhood. You just sit on the couch with a big smile on

your face. Does it keep becoming the vacuum? You got yourself a classic class of two thousand two in here. Oh, that is some good. I was so jealous of that man. My one buddy's mom had it. It was the richest thing I'd ever seen in my life. Yeah. I can't believe what else is big. Do you have a laundry shoot? No. What? A laundry shoot. Laundry shoot is old money. Yeah. Would you have a dumb waiter too? No, a lot of people. Yeah. A lot of people, not a lot

of people, but they were relatively common. I would say they were probably as common as the vacuum in the fucking house. No. They were. Yeah. Laundry shoot. Yeah, because they were like it's like old houses, you know what I mean? If you bought like an old house with old money, you had a laundry shoot, a dumb waiter and that and that like vacuum system. That place is definitely haunted. For sure. I had a good. It comes with Victorian ghosts, but good day

my lad. For sure. Get out please. I had some pretty rich friends growing up and none of them ever had a lot of them had the fucking vacuum in the wall. Nobody had a fucking laundry shoot. I know we would have been diving down every three seconds. Yeah. Yeah. I think my neighbor might, I don't know. Laundry. Yeah. That or did you have dog doors were trashy? I always thought they were. We never had dog doors. My buddy had. And we always had dogs. No dogs. You

have a dog door, no dog. Yeah. My buddy had him. We always used to break into his house to get stuff. I don't honestly, I don't understand it. I don't trust it. Bugs and anything could fuck you. Well, you don't trust it because you can't fit through it. It's just fully stuck in there. Sticks. Kind of dog is this. No, I wouldn't want. I wouldn't feel sound even asleep at night. No, it was just that thing got to the outside. If you do have a dog door though, and

this is just for devil's advocate. If you have a dog door, that means you trust your neighbors enough to feel like you're never going to get robbed. Sure. Well, yeah, we were in a you're you gotta have it in a world or something. You can't be doing it in fucking, you know, Bed-Stuy Brooklyn. Right. Can't have a dog door. Right. The rats would be coming in. Yeah. It's gotta be a nice neighborhood. Yeah. So, I think door doors probably are a little classy.

I don't know. It's a trashy decision from a classy home. I don't hate that. That's pretty good. Yeah. Rosebud's had a couple. A couple of fucking perspective changers. We're used to like real trash. She can walk in both worlds. You know what I mean? Yeah. Real poignant. Yeah. I'm a real shape shifter. Yeah. All right. This is from Charlie. Have you ever rented movies? Talk about politics and steal the smokes out of your pocket.

This is from Charlie. Have you ever rented movies from the library? What library? Any library. I mean, the books are? That's what I think he means. Who the fuck's renting movies? I don't, I never have. They have, they have. I highly doubt Rosebud ever has. No. Yeah. Yeah. I think you can go rent like movies. What? Yeah. T-Bone shaking his head. Yeah. Really? Oh my. T-Bone? We've done it a lot. Like fucking the bridge over the river? Yeah. I feel like it's gotta be like

some like ballet. They don't have new releases. I know that much. You aren't watching Encino Man or Space Jam. I could tell you that much. You're watching somebody's kids dance recital. Poor T-Bone can't defend himself. I heard you got a small wee wee too, T-Bone. Get him, huh? T-Bone. Zoom in. All right. No, I never did that. I missed the library though. Can I say that for as much as as little as I've read? Well, you know, they've been open this whole fucking

time. I know, but you know. I love that they left the libraries open during COVID because they were just like nobody comes here. Yeah, we only get two people. We get two people a month anyway. We're we're under, we're under the limitation. We live in quarantine. The idea of a library back in the day was nice. Yeah. Well, the idea of it is still nice. I but going there is a different thing. Some riffraff. I never got to Dewey Decimal System either. I

can never figure that out. Cramer. Yeah. What? Yeah, that's a Cramer line. Is it? A Dewey Decimal System is a real scam. Well, it's definitely an eighties bit. I'll tell you that. I was being genuine. I never understood it. What's with the Dewey Decimal System? I never understood it. I was being genuine. Okay, I'm sorry. I was making that up. What's with Reagan? We're very sorry. Are you right? I mean, what's going on here? What an asshole. Um, this might do

caucus. Folks are having a good time. All right, let's do two more. I made that genuinely. Okay. Yeah, it's fine. Um, this is from Doug. Have you ever given or receiving a Hickey bonus points if your mom or dad tried to kill you for hat? Like, did you ever have one at a bad time? I'm sure you've had one at some point. Oh yeah. Did you ever have one where it was like an embarrassment? I may have had one in the last year. Oh. A Hickey? Yeah. Why? She's a who in it. I was hooking up with an

old guy. Well, it wasn't the last year. It was the last two years. Well, yeah, he just kind of. I just got married so. Oh yeah. Just to be clear. You really just fudged up your timeline. Hickey. But my husband's not exactly, you know, a spring chicken. Good looking kid though. Good looking. Type body. Yeah. You got a body. You got a swimmers body. Yeah, he does. He actually has like a like a 1930s boxer body. You know what I mean? That's a good look. It's like he

looks like a butler in the thirties. He's got like a broad chest and looks like he can like move a hay bale. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like a year or two after the depression where he's putting on a little bit of weight. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I can I can see it. Yeah. If he could grow a mustache, man, let me tell you. It would be a hand. It would be like the like the. Absolutely. He could be old timey. Yeah. He's got that hairline too. Yeah. It's good.

It's good stuff. Um I only had a hickey once or twice. I didn't really see much in it. I've seen people with them fucking. I've got I've gotten them bad as adults to where I had to like I've always got I've got like two ads of as an adult. Who gave you a hickey? Not mine. I mean, it was before, you know, I thought it was yeah, I was in my 20s. So funny when married people have to remember like their past hookups. Sure. Yeah. They get they get this weird like

like like nervous and I started thinking of like, well, how old am I? I'm like, well, it's it wasn't technically an adult when I'm 23 or 24 or 29 or 32. Yeah. Um but I had one at like I've gotten them. I had one at Thanksgiving. Uh huh. The night before Thanksgiving, the big party night, you know, I had one at Thanksgiving. You see the people from high school you hook up with that you're like wearing a turtleneck or like, you know, you're and you're like,

there's no way around it. You're trying to put the spoon. You show up for dinner and you're like, I always wear a turtleneck and a vest. What? Yeah. That's that's who I am. That's my new thing. That and Christmas at our family Christmas party and my family's huge is so we have our Christmas party is like 200 people. Yeah. And like I like have like my collar popped or something and everything's like right away like ripped it was what's that? Oh my god.

God. Yeah. It's embarrassing. I thought you got the hickey there. I'm like, shout out to Uncle John. I tell you, they keep that mistletoe rule pretty strict. Don't walk under there. Let Uncle Mitch is around. He'll get you. I don't I don't hate it. Uncle Mitch. Yeah, if you got an uncle Mitch, he's he's on a list. Um that and Randy. Uh this is from Mark B. This will be the last one. Uh anyone in your family have vanity license

plates? Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah, my mom. Wow. Let's say. Six chicks. That was our vanity plate. Well, you have five sister, five, five girls and then my mom. Six chicks. Six chicks. She had it on a big red suburban. That's not that bad. It's not. No, six chicks. It ain't good. It's not that bad. No vanity plate is great. That's the fact that you're trying to say. Yeah, they're not. It's not cool. You know, it's one step above a bumper sticker. It's a legal bumper sticker. It's

a government issued bumper sticker. Yeah, it is. Yeah. However, there is some degree to it. Like that's a little I think it's based on family so I kind of get it. You're not doing like number one birds fan or something. Right. The the worst ones are the ones where they're trying to be a jerk off, you know, like your girls next or something like that. You know what I mean? You never saw that? Your girls next. I'm not saying it right. When it's when it's sure where it's a

shot at somebody's like run the plates. Let's see if there's a background on this guy. They're like, oh, he's got a vanity plate. It says your girls next. Never mind. We don't need to check anymore. Yeah. Sorry, this might be the killer. Clearly got a couple bodies in the truck. He's that. Apparently he's having sex with my wife right now or he's on his way there. I'm not sure. Either way, I'm glad I intercepted the man. Yeah. Do you remember those things and the the sayings on

the front of the car and the on the windshield? At the top. That's where I got that from but I was trying to use that. I was trying to use that to explain. Back in the day that would put lettering at the top were like the the yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where the shade or like the tint is. It's always on the back of a pickup. Pickup was real big and I never forget. I never knew what this was until I found out later. We were down the shore and see. Well, that's how

things work out. You know, you're gonna be a stickler right now. You're gonna start breaking my fucking balls, Rosebud. I never knew what this was until somebody told me. No, but it took me I didn't it stuck in my head and we were walking out and there was a Jeddah and it said Ron Jeremy on the back of it. Mm hmm. And I never knew what Ron Jeremy was but all my older cousins were laughing like yo, do you fucking see that because they were like teenagers. Yeah. You

know, so I was like and it stuck in my head and then I was like somebody's so fucking wack. I was driving around with Ron Jeremy on the back of their car in big yellow letters. That's insane. Are you not following what I'm saying? No, we're following it. But you didn't know who he was. I didn't know who Ron Jeremy was. I thought that was like a skate company or something like that. He's a porn star. No, I know but isn't it Ron John? First of all, he's a director and an

artist and apparently a bit of a rapist. Big dirt ball. I think he's got a lot of titles. I might be thinking of a different sticker that says Ron something almost in like Chinese letter. Yeah, Ron John. Ron John. The search shot. Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah. No, I'm saying does somebody had Ron Jeremy's name on their car in big yellow letters? Hmm. As a kid. I feel like you're not giving me what I what I'm looking for. Well, nobody knows what to say. They're just

going, oh, you found out who Ron Jeremy was. I would also I would also like an appreciation of yeah, it's pretty crazy. Somebody was driving around with a porn star's name on their Jetta. It's the eighties. What do you kind of it's it is a little it's a lot. That's there we go. There we go. That's what I was looking for. Yeah. Oh, somehow it's less annoying than the honor roll shit though. What did you think? The honor roll. My kid's an honor roll. Yeah,

your kid's a douchebag. Exactly. He comes around my parts. Yeah. Right down to the bricks. Yeah. Around around our area, you see a lot of the P. Wee football things like the P. Wee football logos like on the back of people's trucks. Yeah. A lot of Trump 2020 signs too. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Those that's it. Yeah. All right. Well, that was it. We're doing one more. All right. We'll do more. That one really ran out of gas. Yeah. Well, you were like sitting there like

I was giving a fucking deposition like I don't but just sticking move. You set it up. Didn't you set it up like it was going to be a longer story? So, what did you think Ron Jeremy was? I didn't know. I just thought it was like a car manufacturer or something and then I was doing a little Google search as I got older and found out that he's a porn star with a huge eye. You're like, oh, one car multiple car. One car. You're looking at you're looking at like porn later

on in life. And I'm like, here's the Toyota dealer. This is the guy. Yeah. I saw his Jetta down the shore. He's so fucking talented. Maybe it was really Ron Jeremy. This guy's giving away cars. We got two from uh we'll do two from the or we'll do one from the Facebook group. This is from Rich. Is it garbage to cut your fingernails with scissors? What the fuck? So, yeah, what's a I mean, what's a fucking fingernail clipper? I'll tell you why it's garbage. How fucking long are your

fingernails that you can get under there? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe the okay. I've seen little scissors that have a little hook on them that are four. That's not for that. I don't think. I think it is. Isn't it? Thank you. Yeah. Cuticles. But it's not for your finger nail necessarily. That's for cuticle. How do you fucking cut your cuticles with scissors? I wouldn't do it. Oh my god. My skin just my blood just ran cool. I don't even like to snip them because they feel where I like to bite

them. Well, it looks like you're a couple of weeks behind. Yeah. Jesus Christ. This kid's got some full snack after the show, huh? This kid's got some hangers on them. I'm saving lunch. Gang, that is a show this week. You guys are absolutely fantastic. Thank you. Rosebud. Thank you for sitting there with us. Thank you. What do you got? You got Zany's Nashville March 14th. Yeah. Your album. Yeah. I'm going to be recording that album. There's tickets are

available on my website rosebudbaker.com and on Zany's website, which is you just look up Nashville Zany's and and then my podcast find your beach with my hubs Andy Haines. There you go. We love it. Thank you buddy. Thanks for having me. Great fucking episode. A lot of times. Give you what you got for him. Uh at Kevin Ryan Comedy on all social media and then, you know, rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube and then patreon.com. You can sign up,

get involved. Cards are going out this week, baby. They're going out. We love you guys. Thank you for all the support this month. It's been a it's been a great month and we appreciate it. It's good to be back here at Tooties. Nice to be back at Tooties. Yeah, I can smell the new ports. T-bone, you got anything? Hey, it's great to see you buddy. We love you. It's great to be back here. We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Hold on there

kids. Don't go jumping ship just yet. I want to talk to you one more time about the good times over there on the stereo app. Gang, here's the good news. Doesn't matter whether you have an iPhone or an Android, you can download the app. You can sign up for free. Yeah, guys. It's a great app. There's a lot of good stuff on there. We're on there every week answering your garbage questions. It's a great way to get involved with the show. We chop it up. I have a couple of

beers. I know that much. Kid, there's a couple of pops over there on the stereo. Let my hair come down. It's a good time. I look forward to it every week. You can sign up the link. Use the link in the description of the app. We get to wet our beaks. You guys get involved. It's a good time. See you there. Peace. Peace.