Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Roy Wood Jr.!

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Roy Wood Jr. Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! Come to a live show! NEW MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Beis Travel: https://beistravel.com/garbage Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Game, we got a low-ticket alert and cleveland and Columbus, so if you want to catch the show, you better make a move, baby! Yeah, gang, there's a handful of tickets left at each show, and then obviously the second show added at the Vogel Theatre and Red Bank, New Jersey, August 11th. That's more than halfway sold out! Get those tickets! Let's sell it out! gang, we'll see you out there! Peace! Welcome to another exciting edition of... ...Are You Gabbitch? of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite

podcast. This is our You Garbage. Oh yeah. So we'll show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the girl to be classy. Uh huh. Earth are just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, Dave's fully coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tutti's in the new edition. She's up on a roof with a new set of binoculars. Okay. Trying to get a look at that new winner work that moved into the house next door, taking a little peek at him. Great. Okay. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me He is the CEO of our you garbage. He's international business man And he's my best pal in the whole wide world and I love him give it up for KJ Kevin James Right, let's swing in a miss on the toady joke. What's up everybody? Thanks for tuning in as always

Who's make sure you're right? You subscribe and I tune full video valve on YouTube as you know those numbers are true Roof cooking and obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patrion.com. Check it out. It's a party over there. Yes, it is. And having a nice quick shout out to our producer, Extraordinaire, the magic man, makes us all look good. Works the ones the twos, the threes and the fours. Give it up for T-bone McScruffins. It's Toby McMullin, everybody. Hey, buddy. What up, dudes? What up, T-bone? Beautiful day out here. We got a legend in the

edition. Yeah. A pro, baby. We got a legend in the edition. Yeah, a lion, man. A pro, baby. Woo, we gang a long hair, ain't lying. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian actor and television personality.

And you may have seen him in, but not limited to. Here we go. We got Sullivan and Sun. We got the detour, better call Saul last of g space force the opening act only murders in the building hell of a week with charlamagne the god the two thousand twenty two sleeper hit can thefts flesh with john ham we got american dad star search premium blend the late show with david letterman death comedy jam last comics then is a work and last call this week at the comedy seller.

This is not happening the tonight show, the view Wendy Williams, co bear Seth Meyers, Kelly Clarkson, co bear WTF, the Joe Rogan experience. He has multiple stand up specials, including 2017's father figure, 2019's no one loves you 2021's imperfect messenger and he just hosted the 2023 Correspondent's dinner he is on tour right now and for the last several years He has been your favorite correspondent on the daily show But the big question about his mind today is he garbage. I'll tell you this the guy wears a suit like nobody's business

Give it up for Roy Wood Jr. Everybody. Let's go What is the budget for Red Bull and cocaine On this program. It's true to roof. I'll tell you that much You motherfuckers didn't take a breath I'm amazed I'm amazed. No stumbles, no fumbles just straight professionalism into that microphone. She was brought to you by the Cineola cartel. Shout out to the boys down there.

Happy to be here, motherfucker. Thank you for having me though. Ah man, we've been looking forward to this man. This is good. This is good. How do you know? You know it's gonna be a good podcast when there's a beer cooler as decoration. That works. You want to pop up? Get your pop beer cooler when you get me a from for dust and decoration. And their ice cold baby. You want to pop?

Get your pop. The fight has got decoration. Be out. I had to get pictures. Shit. Before we get into your backstory, I just just hosted the correspondent dinner. Yeah. What was the grub like? What was the food like? It was it was okay But you gotta remember I'm I have to perform sure and they bring you it's the work. You know what sucks about the correspondence dinner is that It's the only comedy show where you're just sitting on display for the audience. That sucks. For two hours.

There's 30 minutes and then there's like an hour of food and then there's the actual proper program that people see on television. Which you see on TV, we're already 90 minutes into the shit. Yeah, you should be in a green room. Yeah, you should be somewhere Silent there on display like me ball fucking medieval days. Yeah, you fucking joke boy Yeah, sit there and make small talk with the madam first lady Going got shit in common. I use Uber eats. What's going on? Trying to find common ground. Yeah, it's literally...

You guys watching Beef, huh? What's it feel? Imagine small talk with a person whose life you couldn't imagine. Yeah. And I'm sure she got the same thought on her side. What the fuck am I going to talk to this black dude, Somalabama about, for two fucking hours. You don't take a helicopter to the grocery store?

Yeah, no, but so that part of is weird, right? It's just, just, people looking at you and going, look. Like you're a fighter pilot. Oh, you're running at him. Yeah, literally, that's really what it is. It's like you're taxing out for war. Like Tom Cruise, where he gives the go-sign to the dude on the carry your dick

With a prime ribbon a crab cake in front of you For the catapult lunches you off to the podium They're like poor bastard. They come back. Yeah, so it's it's it's it's a psychotic thing But I would do it again. Yeah, really I would do it again Yeah, juggling dynamite sure Like really think as a stand-up comedian How many performances as a stand-up still truly matter? Or it still get some level of eyeballs on a regular basis. And that's one of them.

Sure. On the level of like say, what a tonight show credit was for sure. 100% pre-Lino. I'm talking Carson. Sure. You'd rip on Lino, even Lino and Letterman, you'd rip into 90s and I'm not going to be off to the side of the stage and go, here's your career, congratulations. Yeah. Where this still has that level of gravity. That's why I give you you gotta get props to Chris Rock for doing a live, live special. Like, I went back and dug into crates and was just looking at some of the people

who did it before and nobody really remembers this and has not talked about, but fucking Sinbad. He did it. Sinbad, I love Sinbad. I'm gonna blow your shit wide open. Sinbad did a live Primetime comedy special squeaky clean With commercial breaks. What's him? Now a few words from our sponsors. Get get to try them. Oh Fuck. That's nuts.

Do you time your jokes right to the commercial break? Yeah, because you gotta have someone's gotta be like five, four, three, two, one. And you're performing during the commercial break, bitch. And when we come back from commercial, you've got to merge perfectly back with the TV audience at home. Damn. So you essentially have on-air and and off air material that has to be

timed perfectly for what? That's not. I met him last time. That's Juggling Dynamite. Yeah. He hosted my Gotham comedy live in like 2009 or whatever. And I'm other fucker. He was host and he was doing doing, he was doing shit during the commercial break. He is one of the greatest. He is on my mount rush more. I don't even know how we got to this place, but that dude is just fucking crazy. Yeah, there's the famous story about him. I don't know where it was.

It was Montreal or something like that. Everybody bombed and he had went and got a pair of socks that day and didn't really have anything prepared and went out there and just murdered about buying socks. I think that's a Norme McDonald's story. We're talking about it in the green room. It was, Norme was like 19 and they were talking about socks. And then he goes down and I was like,

Hey, just one out and fucking talking about socks. And like murder. I got like a television deal and everything. I thought you were going to tell the snow plow story. Oh, I don't know. Yeah. He's doing a show at a casino doing a snow storm. Doesn't hour as he's getting ready to wrap.

Like going into his last bit, a single couple walks in and shuffle's into their seat and he goes, where the fuck have you all been? And they go, we were stuck behind a snow plow on the hills, we just couldn't go around a snow plow. So we're just now getting here. He goes, all right, cool. Does this closer?

Then tells the audience, that's it for you all you're welcome to leave if you want but I'm gonna do another hour for these two people man that's pro shit. And he did another guy different hour a whole different fucking hour. Of course no one left. Uh-huh. He does another hour as a treat to two people who was stuck behind a snow plow. That's how you become sin I do it. How do you know with an extra hour in their back pocket? I don't have an extra 10 minutes. What are we talking about here? Unreel that's fucking awesome. Unreal. So you know, you have to do things and stand up that I think still Halfway keep the craft relevant sure. Yeah, that does for sure.

Yeah, that's one of those things where it's like even if you don't watch it live, like I didn't watch it live, but I go watch everybody finds out about the comic set. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's still, it's still relevant. So, you know, yeah, I'd do it again. And even if I bomb, I could still say, I'm a little kid. I got him the first time. I should've seen the first time.

The seceding was different this time. I was like, it's heartbreaking. Sorry, I'm making excuses. I should've seen me the first time. The shes eating was different this time. I was like, it's start making excuses. I saw you right before you did it. You were running spots, you were running the West Village. You remember it was like a couple weeks ago, when I saw you, you had your notes in your hand and you were walking down, I was like, hey, where was going?

I was trying to get this stuff ready to go. Yeah, we had a couple writers and they were like, oh, we'll come with, no. I know and they're like, oh, we're coming. No. I Know where they're not it's gonna work. I send you audio of what sucks. That was the part that was frustrating. It's like The news kept changing sure so for all this preparation you're doing oh Yeah, sorry about that the Don lemon just got fired So Oh, yeah, sorry about that. The Don Lemon just got fired. So, damn, scratch that page of Joe. So, drop the spy balloon joke to make room for Don Lemon.

Okay, cool. Oh, yeah, Tucker Carlson got fired. So, the mic pants and the Nikki Haley stuff, yeah, don't, oh. Keep it fresh. Sorry, the Fox Dominion lawsuit just got settled. That was a wacky couple of weeks. Everything was dropping, oh man. So, you know, most of what half of that set was, I mean, we cooked fresh that week.

Damn. Cause the news broke that week. I felt like an idiot. I felt like an idiot after I saw it, cause you were like, oh, I'm just trying to get these jokes ready and you were like, very focused. And I was like, oh, you're gonna do great. Don't worry.

You got moxie, Gary. Like you're going, I'm telling you, I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? So to answer your question, I couldn't taste the food. Because I was so fucking nervous. But it looked good. I ate the salad, the salad part, I must have something so I don't collapse.

But it looked good. Yeah, man, it's funny. Give us the backstory on Roy Wood Jr. Where'd you grow up? Give us a go. Oh, it's not much to say, bro. I grew up in Alabama. Okay.

Well, we moved there when I was in the third grade. We moved there from Memphis. Okay. And so just, I was like a basic, like, I was in the third grade. We moved there from Memphis. Okay, and so Just I was I was like a basic like I wasn't a class clown. Okay, like a regular kid. Yeah, I was a regular kid I didn't really start while into college like I played baseball and well I wrote the bench in high school high school What your mom and dad do my pops was a journalist Radio journalist, but I covered like black issues or whatever, but like black conflict, I should say so. He was embedded in pretty much any black conflict you can name from the 50s to LA riots. Damn.

So wait till South African riots, the Rhodesians and by boys over war. He was like, in the shit. Oh, get shot at all that whole walk. Vietnam with, you know, predominantly black platoons. He would go over, he was, he was like volunteer. No shit. Send me where black people are dealing with bullshit. No shit.

I will take a tape recorder. Damn. You want a gun? Nope. Really? Give me a tape recorder damn you want a gun nope real give me a tape recorder Those stories come home cover the civil rights movement You know pretty much that was that was his thing you know my dad was you know real big on black righteousness my mom You know she marched you know a lot, but you know she settled on you know higher education She's been a higher education almost 40 years now. So, like that's her lane.

Like her lane is just educating and bettering people. My pops drive when I was 16, so I started working a lot more. And that's kind of where you start getting that hustle mentality, because you don't wanna be a burden on your parents. Like my pops dies, we lose half the income in the house. So my mom is struggling just to keep the house while I get ready to graduate from high

school. So I'm working every side job you can name. What was that like landscaping or like grocery store? Yeah, what was the first job? What was the first? The first what a paste was a basket of robins. Woo! Shout out to it.

31 flavors. Western Hills Mall. A basket of robans in the mall. Dude, I had a mall job at 15. And the girls who used to work at simply six or 357, I would give them extra ice cream, of course. That was my way of flirting. Yeah.

But I wouldn't give it on the top because my manager was looking. So I would like pack the inside of the cone. Is that three pound cone? Yeah, it's dense. The most dense ice cream. That's you baby. You put your hands baby.

Couple 20 stuffed in a sugar cone. Bro, I just worked. I worked, I'd raked leaves, I'd flip my Nintendo tapes, I would sell that shit. I would sweep, I would sweep parking lots at, um, at gas stations in the hood because the guys that worked in the hood, the guys who worked at the gas station in the hood, they have to go out and sweep the parking lot like once or twice a week or whatever and they hated doing it because you're constantly going in and out. Back and forth as customers. So I go to the guy one day and this is I was in I got sent to summer school in the

ninth grade for algebra and the seat I had in the classroom I could just fucking see the gas station and I just fucking watch this guy every fucking day just going back and forth and just every day and he would come out around like one o'clock and so one day I go to him and go, hey man, I know you can't pay me but just give me $10 worth of candy. Write it off his shoplifting. Jesus. And I'll sleep this shit for you every day. And so he goes, you got a deal, man. Okay. So after some school, I will go over there. I will sweep the park in lot.

Who's doing fucking write-off schemes at fucking night? You're bailin' algebra, bro, you're fucking. Yeah, I was gonna do a white collar car. How'd you do an algebra that summer? Well, I'd walk in. It's like, you remember that scene in Casino where they're showing the guy going to the count room and he just walks out with money in the back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's skimming the skim and they're skimming the skim and nobody sees anything in the count room. You're over there, the back and now and later. It's like, all right boys. All these kids are in line to pay for their candy and shit and I'm just walking out with a fucking 48 count snow. Okay. I'm just walking out with a fucking 48 count.

We had everything, Clark bars, Snickers bars, we had Skittles the whole nine yards. Nobody said nothing. Then it was Jimmy two times. I'm going to get to Lafayette. Let's get to Lafayette. Shout out to a Lafayette. So I take $10 worth of candy flip at a school for 20 So now that's 20 raw profit in my pocket for a job

He's talking He's breaking right off shortage of raw profit yet. He's in summer school. No overhead Other than the 30 minutes it takes to sweet sure to sweep the shit up say off a couple of cops and keep it moving to sweet, to sweet, to sweet, to shoot up, say off a couple of cops and keep it moving. Detective Jenkins plays ball. Yeah, so that was, that was, that was, that was my childhood, man, was just figuring out ways to make a little bit of money. I was, we grew up, it was a bad neighborhood. The apartment house, what were you guys in? We're in a house, we're in a house on the west side of Birmingham, neighborhood called

Westin. And so we're South Park Road and essentially Pearson Avenue. This would have been late 80s, early 90s, we moved to Birmingham 84. So this is the rise of crack to begin in a white flight. I had one white neighbor. There was at the time there was still a white biker gang. They were like the last to holdouts of in the neighborhood.

Yeah, and they would God bless them because they they tried to hold down They're a well as the realm of that literally Literally and they just like they were right there bikes through the hood and shit and then like this is the rise You know late 80s is the rise of speakers subwoofer. Sure. So dudes is coming down the block. And they will pull up next to the like the gas station was next to the Biker Club Clubhouse or whatever.

So it's just a battle of just Rob base cranking the jet. Like what? Rob base. At that point, we was Luke. It was Miami bass. It was a lot of Luke. There was a lot of two-life crew that made us.

I thought Luke was. I thought Luke was. So we grew up in a pretty, there was a lot of shit going on in the neighborhood. But my mom did a good job. She kept me busy, a lot of after school, a lot of boys club, a lot of going to the library. Like anytime I was in the hood, I was always on the way somewhere.

And so then the thing that really turned the tide, she bought me a basketball goal when I was in middle school. For the house. Yeah. Cause I would go up to Padley Park and shoot. And I never had problems. I saw problems, but I never had problems. Like people never really bothered me per se.

But my mom goes, now I want you close it out. So she buys a gold, Plexiglass, backboard. Nice. Ajustable. Oh, no, no, no. That would have been, now that would have been crazy. That was a height of technology.

90s, forget about it. Get the broomstick or whatever. So because we had the only, only we had the only house would a driveway that was in the shade during the day. So you could play shade at basketball. And we're also learned a few houses in the neighborhood, the way it was configured with a two car garage. You could play almost half court if you play off into the grass. So gotcha. So half court in the shade in the middle of the day in the summer. Popular spot I would imagine. Korea became powderly part. Yeah. And so because of who my father was, my father was a known name on

the radio. I had a brother at the time who was a who was a prime time anchor for the NBC affiliate. Geez, no kidding. Our family name within the city of Birmingham, at least in the black community, pretty solid. So it's a lot of people who I know, I know you run and do a lot of dangerous shit, but when they were at our house, there was respect. The rules, yeah.

That's pretty cool. And they respected my mom because my mom taught half of them or taught the older brothers. Sure. So there was a bad element. It's a bad neighborhood, but that house there was never anything a little bit of a sanctuary to our house never got broken into no graffiti, no bullshit, no drama, like not a fucking thing. So that when I got to high school and I started going to summer school, because I didn't go to my zone high school. So when you go to summer school and those days in Birmingham,

you go to your zone school for summer school, which means I was around a bunch of kids in theory that I shouldn't know. Okay, but I know all of y'all because all of y'all come to the house playing basketball. Yeah, so it gave me the freedom to move through a bad neighborhood with a degree of diplomatic authority. That's pretty good because if you fuck with me, you can't come shoot. Yeah. So that's the good.

That's a cool story. So that's just, you know, you can call it luck. You can glad whoever the fuck planted them trees did back in the 30s. So they grow. Let's talk about base, baby. If you're anything like me, when you travel, you want to be prepared as possible for any situation. That's the Kippy Rule, baby.

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Do it gang, check it out, take care of it. Don't screw over your family. Set them up real nice. Yeah, but that was it, man. I fucking went to college. I started doing stand up in college. I stole some credit cards in college. Now we're talking.

Hold on a second. I didn't think you stopped crying. I didn't think you stopped your fucking scams after algebra. I stole some credit cards. Yeah, I didn't. How did you not? How did you not? What's the statute of limitations on that credit card fraud?

What was the scam? It wasn't a scam. It was simple. Let's say it was 92 for legal purposes. No, it was not. It was the 50. What do you mean? This shit can be Googled. I don't know if you need to be Google. You have to go down to the courthouse and like request

or freedom of information. Yeah. All right. The Patriot Act on Reward. Yeah. Yeah. So I was a male soldier in the post office and back in those days, credit cards came hot. There was no calling and credit cards.

Oh, yeah. There was no calling and credit cards. I did. Oh, yeah. There was like this idea of calling a number and hello, it's me. Turn my credit card on, please. That didn't happen. They were ready to go. They probably started because of the tank. That's called the Roy Woodland rule.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Every credit card in Alabama keeps getting stolen. The Roy Wood Jr. law. So I take some cards. We go down to the department store. We buy some shit.

The girl knew what was that. Sure. So she under charges us in order to leave more space on the card so we can buy more shit. To which after fact, I'm going to why the fuck did you do that when I could have just stolen the motherfucking card? Didn't need you to be courteous and leave more space on the card. And that's how we got caught because you can't buy Tommy Hill figure for $8.

Sure. So if you're working like, let's say, let's say you're working, and this is right at the turn of the technology and department store loss prevention where Your manager security could be watching your register and get a same time image of what you're ringing up Mm-hmm to make sure you're not fucking around and skipping Like you know they were skipping scan. Yeah, they're skipping scan. I worked at bases. I know. Okay So you know so they're making sure that you're not skippingips canning but in the process of checking her for skips canning they're going Why the fuck does she just charge him eight dollars for a Tommy girl jeans? Yeah, yeah, that's not the right price Yeah, fuck so that's what happened so I get probation well at the time. I thought I was going to I was told I was going to prison

so I'm like well my I thought I was going to, I was told I was going to prison. So I'm like, well, my lawyer said I'm going to prison. Always wanted to do comedy like that sin bad fellow. I saw in a prime time. Fuck it. Here's a chance to try it before my life completely implodes. Start doing comedy, got probation, but doing comedy ever since. There you go. Kids are worker.

Graduated, got my degree in journalism, Dean's list, the rest of the way. Really? My mom and I, it's wild because, you know, going back to the correspondence dinner thing. Like, you know, you got two parents that's on, that fought for every possible chance for you to be successful as a black person.

Blah, blahah blah blah blah. And you get ground up in the system. So when I get probation, I get back in school, my mom's like, good, not graduate. Number one. Yeah, I think I need to go and do some stand-up comedy. Yeah, of course she was thrilled. I'm not going to be doing no internships or any of this extra curricular journalism shit. I'm, I'm, to be honest, I'm just graduating because I think it's part of my probation

term. The good grades is one of my terms. So I got you the Tommy Hill figure for Christmas. Yeah. What's the problem? Put on your Tommy jacket. You know, I shut the fuck up. So, so my mom and I were awesome. Tommy Jacket. You know what I'm saying? Shut the fuck up. So.

So my mom and I. Those were awesome, by the way. Yeah, Tommy Jackets were hot. Yeah. We don't, we don't talk. We talk literally once a month for a year. And it's a five minute conversation to assure that the other person is alive.

Okay. So she's not wit comedy. I need to hold them. No, no, you're not. No, we're good. So I start not wit comedy. I need to hold them. No, no, you're not there. Good. So I Start riding the bus to do Open mics and shit because I'm in Tallahassee. I'm a Florida HNM And so and in the South in the 90s Open Mike was not a weekly thing in most markets at Lanna had a weekly open mic

Tampa Bay had an open mic. Shout out to coconuts in St. Pete Beach. Yeah. I can still there. Yeah. Still standing. So I could go there weekly, but if you wanted to do more, you had to bounce around. And so I would go whatever I could, I would Google comedy clubs. And so I would go to Birmingham once a month to do open Mike That was where I stood that was the first club I did was Birmingham and so Just on a whim like eight nine months into the shit I Go to Birmingham to do to open Mike. I'm sleeping at the bus station because I don't want my mom to know Jesus

What the fuck I'm doing so I would get to the bus station go out to Hoover do the show Go back to the bus station and sleep until the bus one of my mom's fucking students saw me Goes back to the campus snitches on me. So that's how my mom found out. Hmm. What was going on? She's furious and I'm like I'm not gonna stop I don't know what the fuck to tell you but my grades are solid and the deal we made was, keep the grades good. If my grades are good, you can't say shit about anything else I do in life.

And you made that deal and you agreed to that and I'm up holding my end of the bargain, I wouldn't shit my mom can say shit. She ain't on the phone. Dean's list, week later, drop that a call. You're good. Okay.

2000, 2001 Ford Focus for Christmas is a gift for us. Look at that. So I can stop sleeping in the bus station. She still did not agree with it. She never talked down. What a great lady. She never talked down on what I did. But she definitely always wanted me to be safe.

She would put my safety above it. You know, everything. Good mother. I had to catch the payments, but she made the down payment because she know and and what the car did The car opened up the whole mother fucking Eastern seed. Sure So I can still get back to class. No bus schedule. No this know that I put my classes Tuesday through Tuesday through Thursday Thursday night. I'm fucking gone bro. I'm going for five days. Just Thursday night, I'm fucking gone bro. I'm going for five days just sleeping on couch Just sleeping in the car now, but it but it like flying J truck stops and all that so it's wild to go from that moment To the correspond of course And I'm able to give my mom a shout out because she's in the fucking audience. That's okay. Oh damn

Wow, which is just a you know, I don't know like it's amazing. Yeah for the quote, fucking crazy. You know, many people don't make it that's leaping bus stops every other person but you every single guy who's ever slept in a bus. There's like three that made it. I like it. She slipped the payments on you. You got the penalty. Yeah. Here's a liability for the next three years.

That crime shit is weird, man, because, was wild as that. And I don't know if it's like this in every city, but like, in Tallahassee, Tallahassee is a type of city, at least it was at that time, where it doesn't matter what dirt you do, you meet everyone that's doing dirt.

Sure. Because if I'm taking credit cards out of the post office and I'm fucking buying jeans and clothes, then I start taking a shit and selling it. Well, now you're selling stolen goods to people who... Yeah, you're not selling goods. Stolen goods to people like your mom. You're selling goods to people that are in the market

for stolen shit. The voice, the pants, And so when you get arrested, the first thing the police try to do is pin every fucking crime that has ever been committed in the fucking city. And since the history of crime on you, or prove your connection to other people. And so before they even like took me in a process and they got me an interrogation and they're like, all right, we got you on the jeans But do you know of these other crimes and they're like telling me this like check Kite and cocaine and fucking This is prostitute the apparently there's like a sex house in Tallahassee And they're just showing me picture after picture

after picture of people. And I fucking know. Every single. Tony! It was a murder last week and the guy was wearing CK1. What do you know about it? Literally. Literally shit like that.

And they're going, do you know anything? We have an investigation about this. Do you know this guy? And I'm like trying to keep my eyebrows still Because I'm like get my the Thought he just was the wea man. It's like just stay still eyebrow stay still So that's when you realize like But when you walk back you're being killed.

But when you walk back through the scenarios, right? And it's like, fuck, I was at that motherfuckers house last week. Yeah, it's crazy. If they pull a kick, though, and I'm in the house, you're wrapped up with a bandage. And in this group possession, just if you in the room with dope, it's your dope, especially in Florida. Yeah, yeah.

I come in the room with you and there's a gun. Like, I just, like, stuff that I knew you were kind of a shifty person because I'm being shifty, but you're seven, like keeping mine all this is 18, I'm 19 years old. You're not doing character value judgments on people to get that. Yeah, you're rooted in good morals. And you're like, I assume these people are there.

I'm here to silly gene Yeah, I am not robbing people no one's going to therapy over this because of a credit card That you like that's my thought process sure like it's a victimless crime like like there is in a direct trauma being in like That's my brain, but I'm dealing with people that were like really fucking deep off in reservation wild shit, bro, and I'm dealing with people that were like really fucking deep off in the reservation. Wild shit, bro. And I'm like, oh, I really got lucky. Yeah, not for sure. Walking on the air.

Fucking lucky. So, you know, I live a life that could have gone the other way very easily right down to the judge who decided to give me probation, who wasn't even the regular fucking judge that does the sentencing. Damn. Could have got the regular, my fucking been done.

So, you know, I live in my life, my whole old school here in trouble. Bro, my whole life is just a fucking straight up second chance. So all I was trying to be decent, my fuckers and try and elevate people. I had the probation show for Comedy Central where I essentially played my probation officer. You you know the pilot didn't go or whatever But like that was a show that was based on what the system would look like if it was built with people who actually give a fuck about the

Because it's way more people on papers than in prison. Yeah, we talk about it's prison reform shit Have the people that's caught up in the revolving door revolving doors because they're on probation or parole or from something. You got a fuck ass PO, you got a fuck ass lawyer, or a fuck ass judge. You just had one person in your process that didn't give a fuck about you and you're in jail. Or you go back to jail. So, like, I know my life could have been that.

So, you know, with what I've been given, I try to be decent, try to help my friends. Fantastic. I'm trying to be good. Awesome. I try not to be garbage. We'll get there. I mean,

who's, uh huh. Okay. Speaking of which. Yeah. Um, well, did you guys do any vacations when you were a kid? Where would you go?

What was a family vacay like? Not many. I'm the ninth of 11 kids Holy shit, how do we miss that? I'm my mom's only so there's that okay pop said to fucking make his knit cannon round When he wasn't at war In bed it and telling the black story you got three of you to me his brother and sisters Fixed the silver rice hey,, baby. You have to be a pro-test. What you're doing at the pro-test, young lady? Come on, baby. Okay. Um, where you would do it? Were you close with

all of them or not even close by the relationship? The two younger ones were closest because we, the closest in Asia, Asia rest of them. We're cool But it's just and we're doing their thing when you're 10 years old with a 30-year-old brother with a fucking That's what my family is yeah, we're great now because we're men and we're grown But at that age it wasn't the same but the few road trips. I do remember most of them were when I still lived in Memphis And my my mom and I were commuting to, because my dad had taken a job in Birmingham, but didn't want us to move with him yet until, you know, make sure it's stable. Yeah.

And then we would take road trips up to Chicago, where my father is from, and we would listen to eight tracks. My dad had a CB radio. Nice. Nice. And like, that was my first, like, prank call. You're talking shit to the truckers. Jerky boy.

That was the best as a kid, man. Yeah, yeah, and I'm truckers. They get mad. Yeah, we did it once on the Jersey Turnpike and the guy was like, I see you in the Red Subaru and we're gonna kick the shit out of that. Yeah. Freaking out, man.

Those CB radios were alright. Yeah, that was like OG social media, man. Like that was, I remember that the most is just being in the car. What kind of car were they whipping around in my pops had a Lincoln mark seven. Okay. He was he collected Lincoln's. Well, he collected, but like he'd flip him every two years. Got you.

Lincoln or go mark eight. He go continental. Uh-huh. We had the old box Lincoln town car. With the corners. Yeah. Yeah. The ones that were with the livery cabs for a while. Yeah.

Yeah. Every once in a while you get a call in Uber. If you're in the boroughs, you get one of them. And that back seat is about 15 feet long. You're in there just chilling in the back of that thanks, Trichot. Fat smell of smoke in there. Yeah, but we would, you know, we would go on road trips here

and there, but nothing major. Nothing, nothing major. Like my dad did me in a way that it's kind of similar. And this is what I'm trying to avoid with my son Like my dad when he would get speaking engaged so you know when he kind of retired from like war reporting and all of that and which is doing News commentary on radio you get booked for speaking engagements and shit like that no different than say Like a tavis smiley or I don't want to say Al sharp them, but the same gigs that work the same circuit. He's got Sharpton in career arc, but So if my dad got booked somewhere fun

He would take me with him that's cool and then pass me off to some younger journalist a person who ever is there like he got We took a private flight Epcot my house got flown private to Epcot to Disney and like Epcot, my house got flown private. Epcot. To Disney and it was just some woman. I did to this day, I can't remember name, but just some lady, her job all day was just. Watch you. Take my boy to the ride, bitch.

You know, like in, and like that's what we did. Uh-huh. I remember 93. I rode, I flew with my father to Houston for the National Association of Black Journalists. He was getting the lifetime achievement award. There you go. And I just remember some random person just take my boy across the street to the

astradome so you can see this and see some shit. And I just went and did a tour of the astradome. That's awesome. And I really think it was some official tour. I just think it's my pops knowing people yeah in the city let them walk around type My you know my dad helped and hired so many journalists that are still indebted to him that he literally could just pull up in town Fuck a babysitter Hey you didn't I give you a job in 70 watch my boy

Bro when when I used to come to Birmingham in the summer, now this is the most ridiculous shit. The school year and Memphis ended three weeks before the school year ended in Birmingham. But when the school year and Memphis ended, like for two years, my mom would send me to Birmingham to be with my father. Okay. And so that's where I would go for a month. And then would send me to Birmingham to be with my father. Okay.

And so that's where I would go for a month. And then I would go back over to Mississippi to be with her family. For the most part, I traveled in the summer. I never, I don't, I don't remember spending many summers in Memphis. Gotcha. So my mom was sending me to Birmingham with my pops. And it's just me and him, but he didn't trust, I was a latch key kid in Memphis, but my pops didn't trust the lead me at the house alone

because of the neighborhood. You gotta come with me to work. So I would get up, and I'm in the first grade, and I would get up at five o'clock in the fucking morning with my dad, I'm in the first grade, I'm up at five a.m. And we would go to hardies, we would get a biscuit. Like I remember that, like food and travel and like the memories of hardies was all right. The car is where I spent the most time with my dad. Hmm, and so

We would go to the radio station and he would do morning news. I was sit on the floor and just watch him read copy for you know two hours 730 hits this woman Francine Palmer Rest in peace She would come and pick me up and he goes you gonna be with Francine today I go okay Then Francine decided Well, I don't want to watch him all day Why don't I just drop him off at a school

I don't think you can do that she talked to my And my dad was like, that's a good idea. He can learn some shit. He can't do that. Oh, man, you got double dipped in school. Second, mine, I'm coming out of first grade. He didn't want to chop or something.

Yes, literally, I would just get. He's at the high school. They'd take me to Kingston Elementary School on the north side. The fuck? And just drop me off in a teacher and I would just be in that class for the last three weeks. So the first three weeks of visiting my dad, I just fucking school all day. And it did for dude, imagine starting a new school three with three weeks left in school. Nobody wants to fucking play with it.

And look, you're not from. Nobody wants to fight with it it. You're not from. Nobody wants to play with it. And you've been up since fucking five in the morning. Everybody thought you were a cop. Oh, every fucking summer, it was two summer straight. I got sent to fucking school for daycare. That's quite crazy.

Not learning some shit though. That's crazy. Francine don't like kids. That's crazy. Not learning some shit though. Francine don't like kids. Watch this motherfucker. Oh, day. Speaking of cars, what are you weapon around in now? I do. I sold my car when I moved to New York in 2015. I had a Kia Serrento.

I've only had two cars as an adult. The focus being one of them? I had to focus them on mine. I bought a wrote that for 300,000 miles. Jesus. And then the Kia, when I turned it in, to 300,000 miles on a Ford, not the last. That's all right. I got up to Detroit, huh?

In four years. In four years, you put 300,000 miles on it? Told you when she bought me that car. It opened up the whole fucking country. Bro, I drive as far as false Drive down to Miami. I took it as far west as El Paso. I fucking yo I fucking rolled that car that car if I could go back and buy it today. I would just I had a place just to fucking have it. Yeah, that's a long drive after you bomb dude

Yeah Yeah, that's a long drive after you bomb, dude. Yeah, look at it. Yeah, just back from El Paso. Man, fuck, oh, goodness. You're a good damn. You just got another one, 18 hours. I had one like that in Detroit. I had a long drive bomb in Detroit one time. I went to do open-micon Detroit on a Monday. I called a club and they're like, oh, open-micons Monday.

Come on up here. I show up. I show up for sign up, and there's like two or three people in line. It's sign up set five, you come back at eight for open mic. I still think it's such a stupid procedure the class did. So I come back at eight and everybody, it's all men and they're all fucking hooded and just fucking in the zone and

motherfuckers in the corner like having little freestyle ciphers and shit. Oh, and I go back up to the fucking box office. I go, I'm here for open mic. Where's the open mic? She goes, this is open mic baby, you're in the right place? And I'm wearing a suit. This is background music performance suit. Oh, she just Christ. You in the right place? And I'm wearing a suit. This is back when I used to perform in suits. Oh, she just got right. He's just open-mic in suits.

That's garbage. I'm like, I respect it. But keep in mind, I started when I was 19. I was way skinnier than I am. So when I was 19, I looked 14. So the suit added a little bit of pay attention to me. Oh, okay. I'm gonna suit

If this fucking comedy club, I go yes, I'm here for open mic. She goes, baby It's open mic rap night. Oh my god. I Go y'all didn't put that on the website She doesn't we don't have to everybody knows I'm not from who the fuck does rap night at a comedy clip. And I'm like, oh, y'all just trying to keep the lights on. This is a Coco. Shout out to Coco. It's it's gone now. It's a venue. But I've driven. I'm here. I'm doing my three minutes. Oh, you're a big. You still still gonna want to go up, I go, yeah.

I know I'm gonna bomb, but I drove. So I'm just put, she goes, she goes, what? How about we just put your own last, baby? I go, yeah, that's a good idea. Jesus. And it's 29 straight, right? It's 29 people in a row. I'm gonna fuck her, I'll kill her.

And I'm gonna fuck her, yeah, you don't know about the D and the 313 and then murder murder. And then I just get it. Yeah, so the book by back is crazy. Talking about airplane food. Well, it was all college shit to a room full of people that could have given them talking about our A's are a pain in the ass. I'm not. That's like the type of material. Anyone in a frat? What's happening? Damn, okay. Why is, all right. By the back, that is a robbery. All right.

Yeah, let's get into some, some cues here. Let's do some cues here. Okay. Um, any of your family or friends ever been on the TV show catfish? Negative. Okay. Well you're a crystal light family growing up? Crystal light, Friday 13th?

No, crystal light. Oh, crystal light. No, no, we were cool. Crystal light was light. White people cooked. Yeah. Like, because the commercial, there's no black people in the crystal light commercials

making a day. It's not, I can't make that kind of one. I don't remember. It had the same vibe as a Lulu lemon commercial. Whatever. It just didn't register as a black thing. Like we take city water and flavor it and then add sugar. That's what this crystal light bullshit.

No, no, no. Okay. Your TSA pre-check. Yes. Taking shoes off on a plane? If I'm in first class and it's a long flight. Okay. Like if it's a red eye, red eye, I'm laying down.

There's something about taking your shoes off. That just helps you go to sleep. Oh, yeah, of course. You never, like, release a pressure, baby. Yeah, because if I keep my shoes on, I feel like I'm back to sleeping in the focus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flashbacks and I'll never go back to that. Well, you put the seat back on an airplane

Let's say you're not in first class first class. I said no, I never recline Really? I never recline it's not an courtesy though. Why? Like how he said that not because I'm a nice guy. No, it's window seat no recline because if you don't recline They can't wake you up to put your seat back up because if you don't recline, they can't wake you up to put your seat back up. So you're a T-jick. 15, so you can start sleeping at the border. Exactly. So you get to sleep more on taxi and landing.

Gotcha. What's your airline you fly? Do you have one that you're as true to? I'm pretty regular on Delta. Yeah. We're Delta B. We're Delta B. Delta men ourselves.

I was a continental, well, continental before they merged with you nine guy out of the South Mm-hmm. I think I think most community I think it just boils down to if you live in a city where this is where the right is yeah, yeah Like like my buddy Steve burn. That's been my dog for years. Mm-hmm. He is an American airline But he's right there. Yeah, and Pittsburgh is where a they got a lot of outside Right, so yeah, so it makes sense whatever's best. Yeah, so I'm a I'm a Delta guy. Okay, we bring food on the plane Like we order a burger in the terminal and take it on the plane. I am very conscious of Since I don't want to be the guy the, like there's a picture of some,

this couple that had a crap boil. Yeah, that's insane. It's a beautiful picture. If you did, they had the middle seat with the crap and the corn and shit. It's a gorgeous fucking photograph. Not everybody belongs on a plane. Yeah, that should have happened.

I took a Chicago style pizza on a plane. So, Gia Donnell's, he took a deep dish pizza on the plane. It's a Giardanos. He took a deep dish on a... Giardanos nonetheless. I had a three hour layover at O'Hare and if you Google, there's a Giardanos pretty close to O'Hare that you can get in and out of... You left to get pizza and came back. You put a pizza through an x-ray machine.

I called it. I called the order in as we were taxing to the gate. I called your donals like just a straight, just greedy bitch that I am. Why didn't you just eat it then? No, I just, what if something happens with the flight? I just want to get back to the safety of the plane. And it's like a 10 minute debate on whether or not the salsa and the top counts as a liquid that I'm bringing in.

Like, they legit had a conversation about the, well, I don't know if this is liquid. So I'm gonna talk about supervisor. So I brought that, I brought that on a Chicago back to LA flight. I'm fucking Jesus. All right. Did you eat any on the flight? Fuck yeah, that's all more in a question, right? Yeah, I wasn't sure. I didn't know what you flight? Yeah, that's all the more in a question, right? Yeah.

I wasn't sure. I didn't know what you were doing. I ate a slice at the gate. Okay. And then we got to a fucking plane. Yeah. Okay. How to get the TSA guy a couple of slices too. Yeah. Life for him to play ball. Um, if you go, if you go and get something on your debit card,

uh, like a CVS or anything like that, will you get cash back? Negative. I don't, I don't use my debit card for transactions I like a CVS or anything like that. Will you get cash back? Negative. I don't use my debit card for transactions because the hack fest and things. Yeah, smart. Yeah, credit card. So my shit's protected.

What are you working with credit card wise? Amex Capital One. I like Amex for the points. Yeah, now to it, baby. Tie that to the Delta account. Yeah. Yeah, double dip in over here. Yeah, of course.

Okay, growing up or now, do you keep batteries in the refrigerator? Yeah, double dip in over. Yeah, of course. Okay, growing up or now, do you keep batteries in the refrigerator? Negative, my dad did, I'd never do it. My father used to keep 35 mil film in a fridge too. That was a thing as well, to keep film from degrading before you use it. Huh, makes sense.

That, the batteries doesn't, I don't know why that people think that works, but film to me, that makes sense. I tell you a cheap trick a dark Cool spot if you need to squeeze a little extra juice out of a dead battery Piping hot water like water hot enough for tea. Uh-huh put the dead batteries in the water Let's sit five six minutes or really piping hot battery out of the water. It's got extra juice in there really So I would explode. Yeah, it's possible five, six minutes. For real. Pipe and hot battery out of the water. It's got extra juice in there. Really?

Sounds like it would explode. Yeah. It's possible. I had missing a couple of fingers. All the dives. It's never failed in me. I was able to fuse on. I'm not missing it.

Yeah. It's remote working. Yeah. Don't do that. Yeah. Like if I'm in a hotel room in the back, I go over to the coffee maker, just run a picture of what I want. Call that a day.

Call that in the front. Open your new remote. I don't have time for this. You're boiling water. What are you talking about? Listen, I watch it. I watch McGiver and Bear Gears. All right.

If the housekeeper came in and yet batteries and boiling hot water, she'd have some questions. Yeah, look, take your making method or something. Look, talking breaking bad over here. Just start doing gut damp. Someone told me a story one time of a comedian that was in the room jacking off when housekeeper came in. He went to apologize.

She ran out the room. Of course. He ran out the room. I'm sorry. Turn up apologize and locked himself up. Oh. Oh. apologize and locked himself out. Oh, that is such a horrible feeling when you hear that door lock, like, why'd you go, oh, I'm fucking fuck.

Like the Oh, police academy, where they was it, Captain Bowser, when he put all the fucked up shampoo in his head. Yeah. And it was a, you could see and then he fucking walked out to the middle of the, you know, the fuck that was the first one. Police, then you fucking walked out to the middle of it. You know the That was the first one police. Yeah, we got I think the tape is back there. Yeah, we have it on set We took it off of HBO and I was a kid Send an event mo requests Request no

But I'll pay people to like I'll do spots around New York. I get paid in then of course And so then in turn if I'm working with someone who needs to get paid in Venmo. Sure, of course. And so then in turn, if I'm working with someone who needs to be paid in Venmo. You'll just keep it in there and send it to me. Yeah, I just never take it out. You never take it out. I never take it out. Will you take the customer receipt at a restaurant if you sign the receipt,

will you take the customer copy with you? No, and can we stop with the receipt, shit. I'm right there with you. What are we doing? Toast, the tablets, great. Woo-hoo! Do I, like, it's on my credit card thing and then my credit card does a better job of sorting.

Sure. Like like like MX does like that into the year. It's what you spend on housing, rental cars, whatever, whatever. So all you shit. So that's enough for me. No, I've never been asked to show a receipt. I mean, in 20 years.

Wait, no, I take that back. I take the customer receipt and I throw it away. Smart. Because I don't want you to fucking rewrite another. I got jammed up. 500 bucks, they took out and cleared out my bank account. Really? Yeah, when I was in college, I left it there.

They took it, $500 tip, cleared it out. And then the business closed that next day. So it was just like the waiter one last to raw from the waiter. I went back to fucking scream at him and the balls were boarded up. I put the cash symbol that when I write in it. Oh, yeah, nice. Nice. Big nice paranoia. I like it.

Right. And then I blacken out the area to the left of the cash symbol. So you're not adding. You're not remixing real big. Yeah. And then I fucking circle it and then I get it notarized. No more than this I go see a judge on Monday

Me and the waiter go to the meds I'm leaving him eight bucks nothing more nothing less. Can you open a bottle with a lighter? No, I don't smoke so I don't know how to do that, but they've taught me that No, I don't smoke. So I don't know how to do that, but they've taught me that, wham the bottle on the edge of a counter trick. Okay. That fucks up the counter though.

Who taught you that? That's not my counter. Some alcoholic and a rush. That's a holy kid or rocks. Some booze bagged in, how do you get the work real quick? Yeah, because whenever you're like, oh, let me find a bunch, no bro, I got to wait. And everybody has their own trick.

Yeah. What the? And they wear it as a badge of honor to show you how they can do it. Yeah. Um huh. Are you peeing in the shower? Peeing the shower? Absolutely. Freshly in the shower. No. Gentlemen. Okay. How do you feel about Habachi restaurants? No. No. Korean barbecue. I like the classier Hibachi best. I feel like it's like DIY Hibachi. Sure. Sure. Yeah, get your hands dirty a little bit. Will you shower in the morning or at night? What's the routine? Night shower at night.

Yeah, really? I'm not I early on I dated a woman in college who believed in getting in the bed clean. Okay, to preserve the cleanliness of the bed. I'm with you, it makes sense. Let me just kinda make sense to me. Sure. We had dance at a wedding. No.

Really? No, I don't really know how to dance in it. Okay. I can, I might, I might might two step or something goofy something easy Electric slide maca rena. Yeah, but if you ask me if I'm out there just running the dance Okay, have you ever saved a crown royal bag? Oh, yeah, do you have one currently in your apartment? No, no, I haven't drunk crown on a while. Okay. Once you elevate and stop drinking bag liquor.

What's the go-to drink for you now? Say bag liquor? Yeah. I thought he said bad liquor. Bag liquor is a great thing. No, because really the good shit, it's not that crown oil isn't good shit, it's just there's better. There's better.

Sure. Once you get into better shit, the packaging is way more simple and just subtle. Yeah. What are you, what are you knocking around with today? If you were going out after this for a couple of drinks, what do you do? Do you keep, do you have a little bar at the house where you'll have a drink when you come home? Yeah, I'm still trying to build out the little, I just got a place, a couple of, like last fall. So I'm still trying to figure out all of that.

But I got the ice cube moles. Really? I got the circle and the square. And the square. It's a pro move. Like, I got the right cubes because I'm a manhead and guy. I'm a manhead with the mayonnaise. That's my thing. So pretty much any top shove brown liquor. I like that Japanese Santori.

I do Johnny Santori. I still like Santori. You got Johnny at the house? Yeah. Johnny Black. I didn't go blue. I do Johnny Santori. I still like, you got Johnny at the house? Yeah. Well, what color are you? Johnny Black. I didn't go blue. I didn't go blue.

Crazy. Okay. Where does Roy Wood grocery shopping? Where do you go? There's a couple of like, dagostinos. Dagostinos, this is legit. This is classy. Yeah.

Yeah, Whole Foods man. For chicken salad. And there's a couple of things all foods that I like but you got a whole food specifically just for the chicken salad They got to me that they got a Sonoma chicken salad Is fucking is chicken is fucking pecans grapes Celery and then if you want to get sexy go home shave up some apples Apple's Apple salad on yeah, yeah, that's a classic and what are you putting that on? Did cracker?

I do chicken salad with cracker. Sometimes I do a croissant from Z bars Every nine then you go you go get one of them Jewish bakeries and get some of that good soft ass bread So it's like I'm on like an Aaron and it takes me back to my days in high school where I will go Burger King for the burger McDonald's for the fries chick filet for the milkshake. Whoa No, well on the same day. Yeah, like there's there was there used to be in homewood There used to be a spot that you could knock out all three. Like if you, if you come down green springs in Birmingham in the 90s, there was a McDonald's in a burger king within a block of each other.

And then the Chick-fil-A was in enough distance for you to consume the burger and fry on the way to Chick-fil-A to wash it down to get the trifecta. So now, I know that's classy or trashy, but it's fucking genius. So now I don't like any of the crackers at Whole Foods because I just I like this guy's real hoity-toity. Yeah, I like here for weird basic ass crackers. I don't want your fucking knockoff week then or your knockoff townhouse. I want a nice buttery fucking basic bitch cracker. You're a rich man. Yeah, Ritz. Well, I'm a club. I'm Kebler Club Basic bitch cracker. You're rich man. Yeah, Ritz. Well, I'm a club. I'm Kebler Club Townhouse Ritz if you got nothing else. Yeah, Ritz is the bottom tier of that Barca if you got the odd out DuVocca if you don't have any dark. I'll try. Okay. It sounds like a credit card

I'm Kebler Club Yeah, I get in the lounge. I have a lounge access So they let me in the tree So you gotta go in the Alps in there. So you gotta go regular grocery store for your crackers. This is food and porium, you know, the Walgreens, the Dicostinos, get your crackers from there, get your chicken salad from Whole Foods, get the bread from Z-Bars. You're very calculated. I like it. I like it. Great. You should enjoy food. You should not compromise. You should not compromise. At any point, I don't feel like going to no go.

Hey, it didn't require. Get all that good-ass bread and then get you a fucking tupperware and keep that shit stretch it out for a fucking week and a half. Do you have a regiment like where you go to the grocery store every Saturday, every Sunday or anything like that? You just kind of let it flow. No, I just kind kinda let it flow. No, I just kinda let it flow.

And usually when I buy groceries, it's just for three or four days, cause at some point I'm on the road and try to grab all your looonga bread. I've tried those meal, meal you. Delivery? I've tried them both. I've tried the one where they meal you to shit raw

and you cook it. And then I've tried the ones where you just reheat what they cooked in. It's like New York shift just made this yesterday for you. I'm like, I would recommend trying Factor. It's good. Factor meals are fun. One's a sponsor, so we're cutting that. Okay. Can you just do us a favor, look at the camera and say, I love Factor. I like

Factor. Sector In fact as a matter of fact That is my favorite meal Prick plan and serve my just got over When you eat a house if you make dinner do you do do you order in a lot you get you get yeah? I that's something I'm guilty of which I'm trying to be better Okay, I'm gonna have to because you know Co-parenting now so when my son is over. I don't want to just keep ordering right Yeah, if you're by yourself your son's not there will you eat as will you sit at your table the kitchen table and eat or will you sit in front of the TV?

No, I eat at a table real. Do you plate it? I Or do you eat out of the container or comes in? Usually out the container just because of the road comic and sure sure sure If I'm if I was in a hotel, he's eating with an iron or something Yeah, I got the batteries in the coffee pot if there's something like say like like when I get Can't even think of the name of the place cafe for ends when I get chicken parm Now you're talking my language everybody. Cafe for Rinser. I like to like for that to be out. Get that out the container.

Okay. So you can really enjoy and spread your plate, set your bread to whatever. No, I don't eat, I don't eat in the bedroom. I might snack on the couch, but like a full meal. No, okay. I'm eating a pizza and watching a movie with somebody sure But no, I like I like to eat at a table man Well, you're watching anything why you're why you're eating? Well, you put something on the iPad watch a show or anything goes But just at a table bro. I'll eat during a zoom call and I know they start to act like this is some sort of faux pod You shouldn't do it.

And I'm like, this is me. Yeah, this is what you're buying. Maybe you want to work with me or you don't. I want to eat. If we came over to your house right now and you offered us some water, what would you, how would we get the, what would the water be coming? It would be a bottle would be from the sink, but it up the cup. Brita filter tap.

Okay. Filter tap, Britta picture. Okay. And in the fridge, cold? You'll send a fridge. I'm a cold word of God. How's the filter on that? I don't know, it's charcoal.

It's quicker than the one I had before. I had this probe purer or some shit. It was too nice. And it was like a chalk or granite filter. And it literally would take nine hours for a good shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How often do you change in the filter on the bread of the home?

Yeah. All right. You got a tap water, it's what you got to. You got a tap water in the picture. It's cold. That kills the germs. I'm just not about this filter. That's what's the center of mind.

Shit. Be a floss every day. Not every day. Set a reminder. Shit. Be a floss every day. Not every day, but a floss. Okay. How do you feel about the rotisserie chicken? I am a fan. Mm-hmm. Only because the rotisserie chicken saved me, you know.

Sure. Out on the road. It's $6 bucks. Six bucks, lean. That's two mil. Lean meat? Two bucks. Two mil. Yeah, yeah. I used to fuck up Boston market when I first moved to New York, going in by a whole fucking grocery store, road history. Like, publics, down south, public supermarkets

have probably the best road history in the game. Walmart. I'm putting second. Really? I've never had a Walmart. That's a bold statement. I had in the south, Walmart. I'm putting second. Really? I've never had a Walmart. That's a bold statement. I in the South though. Okay. In the South where they give a fuck about flavor and see it. Yeah. Don't just go any Walmart and go Roy said come here and fucking.

I'm over in part sipping in New Jersey. Yeah. Roy sent me back to the tires. Don't do that. That's it. It's gonna be trash. Okay. Are you a pistachio, negative? No pistachio? No, I'm a I had a cashew allergy is extended to pre-leans and pistachios are in the same neighborhood. So I just

Like when I was like 35 on a flight I ate a cashew and just out the blue my throat closed almost asking them land the plane Yes, so since that day, I'm like, okay, okay? Fuck all yo, I was set, okay, okay. Fuck all yo. Sure, I respect you. Except for Snickers, that's worth death. You like an ice cream Snickers? Yeah, I can still eat peanuts, but cashews, pralines, legumes.

Yeah, I don't know the difference. I just fucking fall. Yeah, now it makes sense. Like even now when I eat a Snickers, that first bite is just like a little nibble. And we wait to fill if my mouth becomes warm. Give it a couple minutes. Yeah, like you ever drink bleach water? Like you know, what? What's bleach water?

Like the water would be accidentally ingested chlorine bleach. No. Okay, when you do your mouth gets really warm. And it's so warm. Yeah, why? You're doing real good here, Roy. I'll blow it now.

Thought it'd drink a bleach. You guys know, you guys know when you're hanging out drinking chemicals. You guys know that right But I'm more of a spik and span man to be honest with you your mouth It's super warm really fast when there's some shit that's not supposed to be in your body. It's like a siren I used to work at a steak delivery place at food delivery. Oh, so he's a medical doctor No, it's cool. He's a wee delivery driver. No, we will bleach the lemonade in a fruit punch fountain.

Oh, okay, okay, I got you. Bleach water looks like lemonade. Gotcha. And so I put up a whole glass of that shit took a deep sling. Jesus Christ dude. I didn't know they were cleaning the fucking, he didn't cover the spigot.

Holy shit. When you're cleaning the fucking shit, you you supposed to cover the spigot on it or something Yeah, and my fucking bird didn't I came in you bird Damn, I'll tell you what though the fountain lemonade is all right You say you were good or is it the fact that it's is it like are we buying into the the presentation? I think it's like, are we buying into the presentation? I think it's the presence. Yeah. Oh, you mean those things? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, those things.

That was like up the wall. Yeah. That's what I drink out of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I could have one of those on my house, those things are unbelievable. That technology fascinated me as a kid. I would just kept going. It was so cool.

Yeah, there is an element of that to it. All right, I got a couple more here If you had to pick one freedom's Cheetos or Pringles Cheetos Flamin hot No straight up not a fan not a fan of flame and hot okay, so straight up Cheetos is the straight up Cheetos would be the one Okay, Pringles sour cream would be the number two. Gentlemen's answer. No love for free-dose.

Okay, too thick, too crunchy. Yeah, then there's so there's a lot of them. And they dance. It's like a fucking ass end of a pretzel or something. I can think, just like no disrespect to your filly, fucking short. Sure. Would you walk up to a drive-through without a car?

I've tried. I think we'll not serve you. I swear, it's my fault on the car. They will not serve you. Some will, some will. I think you have to get a guy who plays ball a little bit. When you get out of the shower, you towel off. First of all, how often is that towel getting rotated?

Your fresh towel every shower? No. No. Some people are, which is crazy crazy. Like you live in a hotel or something like I'm the dry off towel as I call it in the black. What's the other one? The the face towel, the you know, you're a wash your washcloth. Sure. So you're a washcloth man in the shower washcloth in the shower. Yes or a loofah or some scrubbing abrasive soap. Some that's holy it got you something like that. To start a call you use a body wash or a bar soap. What do you want to do in our car? Bar soap. Okay.

And what do you use? What's that brand? They're out on some weird shit from lots of time. I like some fucking French shit. I don't even know what I needed that time. I give that a Google. I can't do the grocery store soap. They should be drying out and I'll fuck you up.

Sure. I'd be all scared of chemicals and that shit. Wash cloth, I probably rotate every three days. The dry off cloth, the dry off towel, probably every four days. That's good. That's real good. That's good.

That's really good. We just dry it off with it. It's like,, but the washcloth is doing a lot of work It's picking up the dirt. Sure. We gotta rotate that on the phone now Where does the towel go when you're done drying off does it go over your your door in your bedroom? Does it go over the shower curtain? Why I've never understood that I've never understood the dry off towel making it out of the bathroom Really I bring my clothes into the shower. Wait, hold that dry off? Yeah, I just want to try and chop some shit.

He's got to be on the toes. Yeah, to the flying Jake. So you got to be on his fucking toes, mate. So like you dry off, then you put that tile on a tile rack in the bathroom. Then you put on your mother fucking clothes in the bathroom, and then you go back out into the world. Full clothes? Like you're fully, no, but at least draws. Okay.

I'm dry and at least presentable. So this child, there's no need for this, but I also don't fuck with robes either, because I don't, I don't make moves naked. Make moves. That's the funniest thing anyone said. I don't make moves naked. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha shower. Do you open the door of the bathroom to get that fresh air in the really dry? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. All right. Okay. You push, you push the shower curtain back, you drive because you're dripping. So let the drip, dripping the tub, then step out, you've done upper body. Now you lay that same tile down, feet, ankles. Now you put that thing up on the rack, put your drawers on.

Now you're ready to leave the bathroom. Okay. But I know people who just tie the tile around their waist and then they do all of the lotion and hair and post shower routine in the bedroom. I've never done that. But then I've also always had to share bathroom with your mom and then when you travel like when I was in Mississippi with all of my cousins, you can't come out and do shit because it's a house full of motherfuckers.

In a hotel when you buy yourself or you walk around the hotel room naked? No, really. You don't make moves naked. Get clothes on immediately. Really? Yeah. There's got to fight or something. Something could happen.

Something could happen. He's got a joining door opens and you gotta be fucking on your toes. It's the same reason I don't fuck with flip flops other than at the pool. What? Can he get a fight? Yeah, I can need to run somebody in my shoot like I have fucking trauma I haven't been around enough weird shit. What am I brain? She could jump off. I Need fucking clothes to there's a shoe I don't remember the brand, but there is a closed toe neoprene

Looks like when I'm them Kanye shoes or whatever, but it's like, it's rubberized and you can wear it in the ocean. Oh, yeah. Swim shoes. Swim, or whatever it's called, it goes around fully and closes your foot. Yeah. I've been fantasizing about a pair of those. Get them.

That's the ultimate. They were big in the 90s. Because even if they get to shooting in the ocean, I can just stay there. Maybe out fucking run She'll put on flippers and go the other way just go further out the wall Just get out as quick as possible, baby. Oh, man. I'm staying with getting dressed Socks go on before your pants

Her pants and socks that's a good question Usually socks then pants like if it's jogging pants, something with a tight cuff, a lastic cuff that's gonna grip, it's easier for me to bring the pants up over the sock. Okay. So I'm not shoving sock under the elastic and all that stuff. All right. Yeah, socks first, more often than I know.

Okay. How do you feel about the devil leg? Love the devil leg. Prefer it with the relish chopped up inside it. Okay. Paparica? Yes. A little bit of that, that, that cube salt,

whatever that, those big salt. Sea salt, sea salt. Is it, sea salt? Yeah, it's the big pieces of salt, I like that on that too. You have a go-to cereal? I will always have a soft spot for fruit loops. Okay.

Man. Amen. Every blue moon, and it's like, at the daily show, always have a soft spot for fruit loops. Okay. Man. Amen. Every blue moon, and it's like at the daily show, they let the interns buy the cereal. And so there's like, here's the nine you must buy, and then here's five boxes of just whatever. Whatever's clever.

Yeah, they let the kids kind of just, to help mix it up in variety, and every now and then they'll grab a cinnamon toast crunch And I'll fuck it up. Yeah, but I don't buy cereal for the house like it just I It goes to candy like I like like as a 44-year-old man I feel like oatmeal with walnuts is what I'm supposed to be like that's the image I want my son to have of me Can't be digging for the prize at the bottom of frosted lakes in front of your Kid yeah in front of your kid oh son. Where's gonna get the

Follow the nose it's like no Don't my fucking your daddy eats this boring shit now stare at me trying to stay alive Look at your daddy trying to live longer to fucking be with you. Uh-huh. Who's who's cutting the hair? I got a barber here. You go there, they come to you. For the most part, I go to his shop, but he also cuts hair at the daily show. So, there you go.

So because he's in the hair and makeup doing it, sometimes he's down at the show to cut a guest to cut somebody in the building. So I can kind of sneak. Yeah. Like that was the biggest thing when Trevor left. So I lost my goddamn weekly haircut. Why, he got a cut every week? Yeah, because the barber will come down to cut Trevor.

So I can just, when you don't want Trevor. Cleaning up a little bit. I was singing about this the other day. When you get your haircut on set, do you tip on set? No. There's not a penny that comes out of your pocket. If I get my my some of the best haircuts I've ever gotten were for TV productions and they are paid. Crazy. Yeah. They're you make a

solid living. They're not burning in turn and they're not trying to get you out of the chair. They can make a ten month away more than you would. If you do it on a regular enough basis as a union barber on set, you can make close to what you would have if you do it on a regular enough basis as a union barber on set, you can make close to what you would have been making in a shop if you had a chair and a regular flow of customers. But of course, then something like the writer strike happen, the production stuff. So it's like, there's a, there's a gift in the car. It's a balance. Yeah. When high tide, when it's good, it's good. It's fucking great. Okay.

It's all right. I got one more and then I'm clear. You go to a steakhouse, how do you get your steak cooked? Stakes are medium, rib eyes only, cowboy preferred. Pretty good. I know some people get a porter house or something. Like if I'm gonna date with someone and she wants a different cut, I'll defer to her cut of meat. Gentlemen. Okay. Gentlemen. So if you're getting a porter house for two, yeah, and you got to share

it, you'll give it to her. But I hope and pray that she wants it medium. I've dated a couple of medium rares. It was, it was difficult. Um, would you rather go higher or lower? Lower. You mean you'd rather, rather you'd rather medium rare than medium will Me well can be fucked up and sweet medium rare. I can hope and pray that there's some Sure, you fucked up. Yeah, and I can just get the outer perimeter Sure to enter Yeah, and on a date or with friends are you a Single appetizer guy or are you sharing everything? Let's share. Let's figure out something for everybody to share.

But there's always one appetizer I really want. Yeah, me too, big time. And I'll try and order two of those to make sure I get my portion. Fair share. Yeah, because I'm like the guy like like I hate fucking group nachos. Wait, why? Nachos is one of the most... Man, I get you so much. That you're sorry.

The lack of equity across. You know, let's talk about equity. So please, diversity and inclusion. Top 1% of chips of all the good topics. And some fucker gets the chip and doesn't have the decency to get that chip and a dry chip and then balance it and make your nacho sandwich so you get even to, so you might get the chip with all the fucking chicken and the cheese

and then I'm stuck with a sour cream and two olive fucking chip. Man. And they go, let's get nachos for the table. It's like, let's just all not be happy. Yeah. There's a ways of doing them now where they, they, they span them out.

They span them out. Like they put them on cookie sheets. So everything gets an equal distribute. Is that like a Mexican restaurant? That sounds like a Mexican restaurant. I know, I saw it online, to be honest with you. Cause I've seen Mexican restaurants that take the nacho shit more seriously.

Of course, they, the cheese, they, they're not showing them the other. It's not that, that will be, yeah, it's not a mountain. It's flat. So then they go, more serious because they the cheese they not show them in the oven. It's not like just yeah, it's not a mountain. It's flat. Yeah, every so then they go. Yeah, I just block all over the first light. Who shedder some shit. Yeah, yeah, or evenly distributed. Okay, see, that I would I would prefer. Yeah, okay. No, give me give me something. Okay, I just got two more mayo, helmins or miracle whip. Helmins regular mayo. Miracle whip is a little fucking too sweet.

Now you want something that blow your goddamn mind. Get that Japanese mayo. I know Zach, what you're talking about. Oh my god. It's called like weepies or I don't know what it's called. It's like a little thing. My girl gets it. But a halfway between miracle whip and American mayonnaise.

It's just a perfect tang and sweet balance. Okay. Put that shit on a fucking hot dog, bro See this is why I'm on the fence with him. He's classy and then trashy What no hot dogs you want the expensive of course you put they're not cool You want the expensive fancy mayo, but you put it on a hot dog. Yeah, he's the duality of man Oh, that's right. No, me on hot dog fucking Americans. No, I'm a man. What a hot dog guy. Suss, I'm in.

I don't like what you're putting down. Not on a brot. You go mustard on a brot that meets two fucking salty to disrespect with male. What else is going on your hot dog? Let's clear this up. Um, let's get some after this. Now, if you want, you want to know the real bougie?

Please fucking. I go bun open, preferably Hawaiian roll gentlemen top cut don't really fuck with the side cut For the top cut it's cuz the side you open up in the hinge bridge comes loose and now you got fucking Come on It's very suspect on the side cut hot dog bun but top cut, you know what you're getting you crack it open Go mayo, I go a passive yellow mustard go a passive relish then the dog on top of the toppings To the case to encase and and close the toppings underneath to keep all this bullshit slippage and it's less messy this bullshit slippage and it's less messy.

Doing all this shit. It's not wrong. He turned there. Things in the bottom. There you are. Just set a betting. It's got his flavor. Now, if you really want to go next level, betting the flavors.

Now, if you really want to go next level, put the hot dog in, give it a twist, bring some of that top sauce and residue from the bottom up to the top layer, and now you're getting the top, your palate is getting a little bit of flavor on both sides on every bite. That way when you bite the hot dog, you're not just getting toppings in one side of your mouth and meat on the other side of your mouth, you're getting even balanced. The problem is you have to do this. You should be running for all kinds of stuff.

I know. What's going on? But at least like, you know, Commander and Chief of Hot Dogs or something. The problem though is that more of the night when you're eating hot dogs, it's with a group of people and you know, motherfuckers are watching you and judging you and how you prepare like just, just recently I was at a barbecue and they had the baked beans going. So sometimes I go with the baked beans on top of the dog.

No sauce. American. I get it. baked beans only. Yeah. Try to do my baked bean bed and then I'm like, I'm going through my routine and then like, what the fuck is that?

Oh, yeah, no, I'm just, because I'm like, no more Garcia-Para. I don't know if you ever seen videos like, this is baseball player that will go through. The guy from the red socks? Yeah. Okay. There's video of it.

It's a legend where Garcia-Para after, it's a pre-pitch clock. After every pitch, he would go's video of it. It's a legend where Garcy apart after it is pre-pitch clock. After every pitch, he would go through the same to any point routine of straightening his uniform, re-villcroing the glove, twisting the back, fixing it. He would go through all this shit and then get back in the back. He just had neurosis.

That time with preparing a hot dog, if I really wanted the way I was. Sure. So what you should have, you've earned, you deserve. Japanese mayo is the fucking shit. The best sandwich I've ever had, the best piece of seafood I've ever had was a Burger King, BK big fish.

I see, and then he does this. It's his Tokyo. Oh, I'm out, I'm done. I can't do it with this guy anymore. The tartar sauce was based, the base of the tartar was Japanese mayo. Tartar sauce with Japanese mayo is a base over a fish sandwich that doesn't have half the chemicals that they put in the ones in America. Fast food is fresh, it's fuck overseas. Yeah. Damn, this guy's good.

Top three fish sandwich I've ever had. Burger King in Tokyo. He's pure 50-50 down the line. I don't know. He walks in both. Burger King in Tokyo. I ate it for three days. I was in Tokyo and I fucking ate Burger King for the three days in a row because it was good. You're in Tokyo, you're gonna try all the fuck all that other shit. I had some octopus inside a hush puppy. That was good. What are we doing? He's perfectly 50% trash and 50% the clasiest guy I've ever met my life Yeah, you love a hush puppy and then everybody loves a fucking decent piece of calimaria I'll octopus ain't shit, but fucking meaty fucking calibari. Yeah, put that shit in a hush puppy that shit was a man He's drinking bleach. He's got Japanese mayo. I don't know what's happening

Man ladies and gentlemen, uh, Mr. Roy Wood man. What's your verdict Kim? I honestly I've called a 50-50 one other time I think and but this is the most down the line, both sides of the fence, 50-50. He's the epitome of, I mean, he's doing credit cards, Kim's, like ninth grader, whatever. And he's got Japanese mayonnaise. He's a, that's, he's a well-cultured man. I'm saying 50-50. I gotta say this, I understand the 50-50, but his garbage tendencies are extremely methodically. Yes.

So I'm gonna say all class. This is the first weird split. Toby, you wanna do the tie breaker? What are you thinking, T-vor? First time ever? It's like 60, 40 class, I think. Okay, I'll give you that. I'll give you that.

I'll give you that. I take food on the plane, but it's a deep dish piece. Yeah, say he's like going to get the best food to take on a plane. And not every movie makes, he then confuses me with the next movie. You think I'm gonna take a fucking Charlie's Philly Cheese Steak? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's for being a soap from Lossetown. That's what it is. That sounds like a French restaurant.

I'll do the lot of the nachos in the soap at Lossetown. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Roy Wood is on tour right now. He is one of the funniest guys. You have to go and see him. This was fun. Thank you, buddy. Yes, this is great. Buddy, we love you. We were so excited to have you. Thank you so much for coming in. Anything else you want the folks out there to know?

No, that's it, man. Just come out and see me live. Virginia Beach, you said next. Yeah, Virginia Beach, Hartford. We playing from Sacramento to Hartford down to Miami, man. Awesome. We getting all the time zones in. If you don't see your city, no one's getting at it because it's a strike.

I ain't got shit to do that. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Roy Wood. Kippy, what do you got for him? We're also all over the road. We're announcing the next leg of our tour for the fall and the winter. So get those tickets because they are moving quick. We appreciate it. We love you. Gang, we love you and we'll see you next week. Peace.