Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ryan Sickler: Baltimore Class

Episode Date: August 24, 2020

This week comedian and podcast host Ryan Sickler is put to the test. Ryan Sickler talks growing up, Baltimore, Football, and comedy. You know Ryan from Stand up, The Honeydew Podcast, This is not Happening, Joe Rogan Podcast. Support our Sponsors: https://dickatyourdoor.com and use the code Garbage for 15% off. Sign up for Gas Digital: www.GasdigitalNetwork.com - Promo code: AYG Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy. Just wanna thank you for tuning in to R U Garbage. Yeah guys, make sure you subscribe. That way you get the episode as they come out and you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com, use promo code AYG to get bonus content and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming. Do it.

Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Baby, hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is R U Garbage, the show where we sit down

with your favorite comedians in front of the group classy or if they're a complete piece of shit. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a glorious day here at Gas Digital Studios in the fucking East Village. It's nice and cool. I can feel the fall coming. I can taste the fucking turkey on Thanksgiving

and I'm excited. My co-host coming at you right next to me, a little too close. If there's any closer, I'd be fucking pregnant. This guy, gang, the next time you reach it for a best pal you go ahead and make it a kippy. Give it the fuck up for Mr. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Hey, what's up everybody?

Thanks so much for tuning in. As always, we appreciate you listening to the show. Watch and make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes and also full video is available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well and you can use promo code AYG to sign up for Gas Digital Network to get all the shows on the network and a bunch of cool shit as well.

Yes, sir. Thank you, kippy and gang. We could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today. Thea Satellite Technology. He's a huge get. We got him on the big screen gang. This gentleman is a comedian, a podcaster, an actor

and producer. You have seen him on This Is Not Happening. It's a late, late show. The Joe Rogan Experience Bachelor. And of course, he is the host of Honeydew Podcast. But the big question everybody's like, today is he garbage? And I don't know.

He looks like a detective that got caught up with the bad people. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Ryan Sickler. Uh-oh, all right. Yeah. Thank you, guys. Buddy, thank you so much for doing the show, man.

We're happy to have you here. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. And I can tell by, I can tell you right now, I know the answer because the shit you got on the shelf behind you, that's 10 times more than we had in our fridge and cabinets. We just bought this at the bodega about an hour ago,

by the way. And it better be here next week. I'll tell you that. You do look like a detective that would be on the take right now. I can say that. If I was a detective, I would, you could definitely put me on the take.

Oh, I would turn a blind eye to a lot of shit. Keep the neighborhood safe. That's about as far as I would go. But yeah, thank you so much for doing the show. So like I said, what we're going to do is we're going to ask you a series of questions to determine whether you're a garbage or not. But before we get into that, I'm just curious,

where'd you grow up? How'd you grow up? Give us the whole origin story, the backstory. My origin story, I'm originally from Baltimore. That's a tough one. He looks like he's on the shitter right now. I'm here in the studio in this damn sideways camp. Here we go.

Grew up from Baltimore originally. Parents divorced, bounced around, grew up out in the county in Carroll County, Maryland, split homes, mostly raised by a single dad who worked. We were latchkey kids. I say we, I have a twin brother, fraternal twin brother, and a younger brother. So three boys basically being raised by a single dad.

Mom's not really around in and out, running around a little bit. They divorced just like summer of 5th, between 5th and 6th grade. We lived with my mom for a year. They decided to get back together for the kids bullshit. That always works. Yeah, we're not going to need any questions.

I'll tell you that. I like how he referred to it as the county too. Like I knew what fucking county he was talking about. Yeah, down there in the county, you guys know fucking the county. There's one county. I love it. When you're, God damn it, holy shit. When you're, look, see, I'm sorry.

When you're from Baltimore, or you're either from the city, or they all tell you, you're from the county, you're from the county now. So single dad. And then when I'm 16, my father dies of a heart attack. We find him dead in the morning. We, our mom still is like, nah, his mom, our grandmother, comes to take care of us for a little bit.

And then at that point, the state, we're minors. So we had to go somewhere. And we end up moving in with our mother, who left us alone. Just, we raised ourselves from 16 all the way through school, my twin brother, myself. And yeah, once we turned 18, my mom kicked us out. She was never home or around.

Jesus. Yeah, so we moved in with my grandma. I'm the same grandma, who was just awesome. I mean, just a fucking awesome woman. She dropped out of a heart attack right in front of me at night. I gave her mouth to mouth and CPR. And I did a good job. She was alive when she left the house, but did not make it.

Holy shit. That's what my Instagram bio, I'm three for four, saving lives. Holy shit, he's got his record on the gram. Hey, those are all star numbers. Don't feel bad. All fame numbers. That's good. Holy shit, like fucking Superman in my book.

I was going to lead off to see if you ever had lunchables growing up. You hit us with fucking the shameless rewrites. Holy shit. That's a fucking tale. First of all, I'm sorry that happened to you. Thanks, man. Oh, wow.

We had an uncle who came in and basically was like, man, fuck everybody. We were thrown out. I lived with my grandma and sister, my Aunt Marguerite, for a little bit, till we found our own place. I say, my twin brother and I got a place for a year. After that, I moved out here and I've been here ever since. So that's my nutshell story right there for you.

What happened to the twin brother? He currently lives in Delaware with his wife and my niece and nephew. He manages an auto salvage company. So he's in charge of all the aluminum recycling, all that shit. You can get a headlight if you need one, for sure. Buddy, get this down to a treatment.

I like it. They do crazy shit. Like, you know those, you see those tractor trailers go down the road with the cars all squished down on him. He does that. Then they'll take those cars, they'll bring it to his place. They melt them down into these aluminum pallets and then they sell the aluminum for profit.

And then it basically goes overseas and they make big razors out of it and it comes right back with a $40 fucking razor. They used to be a Buick Skylar. That's the classiest of the Buick by the way. Something in a four door, please. Not garbage. He is a scientist for the government.

He works, he's not in the army, but he works for the army in Maryland. He's married with three kids actually now. Let me ask you this, because first of all, I would never have had, I was raised, you know, I was babied my entire life. I would never have had the wherewithal to overcome shit like that,

which is fucking amazing and commendable to all three of yous, especially with all three as you're successful and doing good. But to something like that experience, like would you say that you guys are super close now and try to create a really strong family environment for like your nieces and your nephews?

Or are you guys kind of scattered? Well, a little bit of both honestly, we're, my brothers and I are very close. We talk all the time. And, you know, any of the kids' moms will probably tell you, we're a little harder on the kids, but it's also because we know that at any fucking second, that shit could be ripped away from you

and you better fucking step up and be somebody. And not just a stick, not just a fucking, you know, loser, not just a glom on. So my twin brothers started before all of us did. So my niece and nephew are now, and I think 13 and 11, my younger brother, my daughter will turn six in October, my younger brother's kids are seven, five,

and he's got a one and a half year old. So those kids are much closer in age. But yeah, we, you know, I'm still friends with my cousins who were 10, 15 years older than me. So it's harder to do that when I'm out here because I'm in California, they're still in, and my one brother's in Delaware and the other's in Maryland.

So it's close, but they need to be closer. That's, it's a really good question. They should be closer. Okay, because I figured something like that either, you're gonna go two different ways from it. You're gonna recognize the importance of family and having like a support system and go that route or you just don't really talk to each other at all.

That's good that you guys still held on through all that. I mean, we were literally laying there on the bed together with our dad's dead body and my brother and I I'm breathing life into my fucking brain. I mean, I never, and I just, just gotten to be a lifeguard. I just took all these fucking CPR classes and shit and here I am having to fucking use it on my grandmother.

I've never used that shit on any motherfucker to get the bull. Yeah, you're slipping the shallow end. You're on your own. Diving for rings. I ain't coming in again. You shouldn't have been diving. I'm not messing up my hair to dive in for you.

I'll tell you that. So when was it completely, and what kind of shock is that? Like when you were a kid, when like your mom splits like that? Like when was it normal up until you said fifth, sixth grade? No, it was a little before that. I'd say normal, what you would say,

it's never been normal. Like my mom's mom, she lived with us early on too. And now you look back and it's like, oh, we had a really nice house and she lived there to help pay for that fucking house. You know what I mean? So we always had something different going on, but normal, I'd say right around third grade

is when they started having, for me, you know, that age they started having trouble. When he started noticing. And I remember asking students in third grade, in my class, hey, are your parents divorced? Cause we felt like these outcasts, but then you realize shit, the people whose parents were together

were the ones that were in a smaller statistical group. Yeah. And sometimes when they stay together and fuck shop people more. That stay together for the kid shit don't always work. Yeah. Uncle, thanks for product to that. I'll tell you, I would have been gone. That's fucking crazy. I'll say this though, it is garbage to have

like a grandma or an aunt or something like that live with you. But when you're a little kid, that's so cozy. Cause they fucking, you know, they do it on you and they spoil you. It's like a clubhouse. You know what I mean? There's just a bunch of people hanging around, you know? It's like more people to do shit with,

more people to take care of or make dinner and shit. I love that shit. My whole family's Italian. So my grandmother spoke Italian fluently in the home to her sisters. And to this day I'm bummed, I didn't sit and learn that fucking language. Cause I know she was talking shit about everybody.

None of us. Oh yeah, dude. She was probably holding court. We only talk shit about what was going on and not have to hide or leave or go anywhere. Yeah, I wish I spoke a second language. That's the way to do it. Just to trash people.

Something odd too, like Korean or something like that. Yeah, just being a green room fucking shit on the guy next to you, nothing better. What did you pick up from your grandma? How's your, how's your Sunday gravy at the Sickler house? Well, I picked up. So that was my mom's mom that lived with us earlier. I was much, much closer with my dad's mom

who later I lived with and tried to save. But what I got from all of them was what you asked me about before. Like, I, you know, these people literally died for us. And there was no way I was gonna let their life be wasted or, you know, be that drug addict or alcoholic or dead in a ditch. I mean, I should be.

I should be dead in a ditch. I should have been long. I'm amazed. I should have been long. All three of us, you know, it was more about, you know, living out the way our father and grandmother had instilled in us. And what ultimately ends up happening, I've reconnected with my mother

and I've talked to her about this. I'm like, we made you look good. You know what I mean? You didn't have shit to do with that. But we did what we were supposed to do for the people we wanted to do it for. And ultimately we ended up making you look like a really good parent and you weren't, you know?

Wow. So what I got was integrity. I got heart, I got hustle, you know, don't be allergic to hard work. But what I did modify was taking a blue collar work ethic and applying it to a white collar world. Yeah, for sure. And not keeping that in the blue collar world.

There's something about that blue, cause the same thing, both of our families, blue collar construction and stuff like that. It's like, when that's instilled in you in a young age, there's just something, especially when the family unites like that with that blue collar work, it's like, put your head down and just fucking go. It's got to get done.

It's going to get done tight mentality of like, you have no other choice. It's either like you said, like just let go and become a statistic or fucking push through until, you know, the next level. And the fact that, not only did you push to the next level, the fact that you're fucking killing it now is, you know, it's fucking awesome.

I don't always feel like I'm killing it, but that's nice you to say. You should be coaching wrestling or something. I'll be hot gym coach. I want to be hot. I mean, that was a powerful fucking speech. I was ready to get up and start doing some burpees on that. I was fucking, fucking coach Sikler coming in.

The fucking streets are hard knocks. Yeah. My father was a crew chief at Pan Am and his father worked at Bethlehem Steel in Baltimore. So they're blue guys and, you know, they both were in the military. I was not, you know what I mean? Like I'm not the man fucking were at all.

So at least I can do. And it's been actually pretty fucking awesome to sit here and on my own show and shows like yours and to sit here and talk about these people that meant the world to me. Cause it's the only way to keep them alive. You know, they would love to fucking know I was talking about their ass on these shows.

My grandmother was saying about me as we, you know, that's funny. We were care, you know, I definitely know I am a, I am a much watered down version of my father. I could tell you that. Oh yeah. I don't even fucking. I'm barely a man. I'll be honest with you. We're sitting, there's three of us sitting here

talking in a microphones about real men. That's what we're doing. Yeah. But that's good. All right. We got, that's a fucking amazing backstory. So that just kind of gives us an idea how to kind of like tailor the question specifically to you. I'm interested in a couple of things about when you, when you were living with your dad,

like how he made it all work. But now I'm more intrigued about how you run your house. Yeah. And like, and like what your habits are now. So we're going to launch into a series of questions here. We're going to play a little game called are you garbage? Just answer the questions as openly as honestly as you have been, which is fucking fantastic.

I'll tell you what, I don't know if you're garbage or not, but I fucking love you. Yeah. I'll be rooting for you in the movie. Fucking remake Rudy and put the kid in. I'm fucking hooked. I'm about to put him on. Joe Montana shit all over.

Yeah, I saw that today. He said, was he carried out on people's shoulders? Yeah, by three of the pranksters on the team. Yeah. He just shit all over it. He's like, dude, he popped that Rudy bubble. If you, yeah. He took all the Hollywood out of that fucking movie real quick.

He sure did. He shit all over that. He's another named guy too, I believe. He was on the team, I think. Yeah, he was there. Yeah, he was there. That's what he was saying. He goes, that's all bullshit.

They put him in for 10 seconds. Oh, he was on that fucking team? Oh, I didn't know that. That's what he's saying. I mean, that's the thing. He's going, I was there. It was all bullshit. And I banged this girl afterwards.

Fuck him. Like Joe Montana's got to take this win. What the fuck, Joe? Relax. Come on, Joe. Put your sketches on and stuff. Poor of a Dan Marino man myself. I'll tell you what, pair of Isotoners around the holidays.

Holy shit. Also too, obviously, you're free. You know, your background's a little checkered. You know what I mean? It wasn't all fucking. You didn't grow up as like a Rockefeller. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's not going to determine whether you're garbage

or not, but you have those roots. Like you were definitely, you know, you were, so you have garbage roots and we found out regardless of money, of fame, of, you know, success, there's only so much one generation can do to shake the garbage out. You know what I mean? Like your kids are going to be a little bit better, but they're going to still have tendency.

So it's interesting to see what you've been able to shake. Maybe you got even more trashier with a little bit of cash. You're Ricky Bobby did. Who knows? Hey, let's see. All right. Are you married now? I am not.

I was engaged. Originally, we broke it off. She broke it off. And I have a five-year-old daughter. I've been a single dad for the last, well, she's about to be six or the last five years. Your daughter lives with you. We have 50-50 split custody.

Nice. I will not fuck. Yeah, there's no way. Of course. I got you. OK. All right. How do you want to start this off?

What are you thinking? I think we still got to go with the basics growing up. Let's go back before there was trouble just to get an idea. What was the name of the street that you grew up on? I know you moved around a lot, but the first street. The house that I told you about that I'm not going to include the city. I'll include when we got out to the county,

because that's where it was. Yeah, that's where we planted the flag out there. But that would be Iron Gate. Iron Gate Circle, actually. It was a circle. A cul-de-sac man. No, that's what I didn't know this either. It was a loop.

We called them courts where I came from. In Maryland, cul-de-sac was a court. Go play in the court, play in the court. But a circle, which I'd never even known either, was just like a horseshoe. And it went from one side to the other side, and they called it Iron Gate Circle. That sounds pretty classy, man.

Iron Gate Circle. That just bumped up the story. It was an Iron Gate Barthelot. Corner of Iron Gate and Barthelot. That was the corner. That sounds pretty ritzy. Sounds pretty nice, man. It all went downhill from there.

Man, those were the days, though. That only picks you guys fighting over your dad's estate and shit like that. That was my pipe wrench, motherfucker. What kind of house are we talking? Was it like a single-family duplex apartment? No, this was a house. That's why it was my favorite.

This was before shit hit the fan, and we ended up in the apartments and all that shit. This was a split level. You walked in. You could go upstairs to a nice, so I don't know how this is enough, but it was a whole parlor area with the kitchen walk-through dining room up another level to one, two, three bedrooms.

One of those bedrooms had a full bath. There was another full bath in the hallway. When you walk in to the right was my parents' master bedroom. Downstairs, excuse me, again, to a basement, and then ahead was the whole living room, huge yard, like riding mower yard, garden, shit, bill, all that. You got to have a taste of it for a little bit before you realize how shitty it's about to get.

That sounds like a good slice of America right there. It does. The other thing working against you on that, they got the yard stuff like that, but I'm hearing too many levels. This is like an M.C. Escher painting. And the kitchen on the second floor? Yeah.

That's a tough one right there. That's a little garbaggio, my friend. And the master bedroom on the first floor. Basement was not done. Last fall court in the driveway, like right in the driveway. You had to move cars to play. That's the best. Did you have a chain net, or was it a mesh net?

It was a mesh. It was a mesh. You start to change. It's fucking street bump. Those were at all the playgrounds, because everyone kept taking the fucking net. You had to bolt them down. Yeah.

Dude, my mom's still to this day. I think I mentioned on here before, still has a chain net in our fucking driveway. It's like fucking Rucker Park in there. It's wild. There's nothing worse than playing a pickup game with no fucking net. You feel like you're in the prison yard, man.

Rust rattle it off every time. Chain net swish sounds terrible. Yeah, it sounds like two knights fighting in medieval times. Sounds like someone's getting stabbed at lunch. Holy shit. All right. OK. And what about another basic here?

All right, so we got to street. What was the name of the grocery store? That let's say your dad went to why he was trying to keep it all together after your mom was gone. That would have been George's. That sounds pretty respectable. I don't know it. How was your pop in the kitchen?

My dad, you know what I've always found, especially about military dads, is they kill breakfast. Oh, yeah. Maybe they were up early. I don't know what it is. But if my friends asked me to spend the night, I would always ask, was your dad in the military?

Yeah, give me your dad's rank. Before I come in, I want to know what he was. Dude, this guy breaks my balls at a time. My dad was in the fucking Navy. He was a cook in the Navy. And exactly what you're talking about. My mom can make every meal every night of the week. But come Sunday morning, the big guy

was behind two cast-iron skillets, fucking frying up some canned potatoes and some fucking dippy eggs. And they were out of the park. Fantastic. My dad was a good cook, steaks, burgers. And we all, you know, we're Maryland through and through. So we would steam crabs and seafood all the fucking time.

Like, that is something I, that's all over my eye. Gee, I still do that. I mean, it's, I can't. I just love, I love, look, I am a backyard, crab feast, barbecue, fucking hang out, horseshoes, beer and weed guy. That is who I am. You get the newspapers out on the table,

dump a bushel out. Everybody's got a screaming cold, cores light. Fucking good night. I'm out there with the kids playing some kickball, kicking the fuck out of that fucking. Going yard. Yeah. Coach Sickler, go yard again.

I'd rather that than to go to any premier party or any of these fucking red carpets I've ever done. I'd much rather that. That is who I am. I also imagine you probably don't take it easy on the kids and like let them win when you're in a fucking, showing them how to play horseshoes for 20 bucks a throw. They already have it better than I ever had it.

So you can learn to loop. You're gonna learn to be a prick. Ungrateful bastards. I love that. You're coming up fucking all class with me right now. I'll tell you that. Even with the horseshoes. Yeah, a horseshoe pit in the backyard is fun,

but it's trash. If you're taking the refund check and putting in a horseshoe pit, you should be making some better investments. Oh, when you were a little kid, the first time you saw adults throwing horseshoes and being like serious about it, you're like hearing that clank, like what the fuck?

Yeah, a couple of Micolobes going around. Man, that's a fucking man's game right there. I got one along that line. Does anyone in your family or you ever own your own tap for a keg? Yeah, I had an uncle that had a kegerator. Nice. Yeah, that's nice, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

That's clean living. Let's ask you this. This is a big one here on RU Garbage. Now, if you didn't have one, you're still high up in the points, so don't worry. But at the house in the circle, did you guys have a garage? No. No garage.

I'm trying to think, we lived in a shit load of houses and I'm trying to think, I don't know if any of the ones we had, maybe when we lived in Texas for a hot second, we had a garage. We went down there for like a year and my dad got transferred, but we were there for nothing.

But no, and this is not gonna help my points any. It was just an outside driveway, but I've had multiple gravel driveways. They're the best when you tear out on one of them and your parents are freaking out. Oh, dude, those are a tough look. Let me ask you this. Would they get it regravelled every couple of years

and they'd show up with a dump truck and you'd have to smooth it out? Nah, we played as is, Mario. No. My buddy's dad, every couple of years, he would get fresh gravel put in and he'd have us out there on a fucking Saturday raking it like we were on a fucking chain gang,

smoothing it out. So what I was trying to find out is anywhere in any of these houses, was there a second refrigerator, maybe in the basement or in the house that was strictly for sodas, beer and ice pops? Yes and no, actually. No ice pops. So yes, there was.

We had a deep freeze in the house that my father died in, okay? We had a deep freeze and here we go. This'll help your points in that deep freeze. Oh God. Can you put your dad for a couple of days? We used to go crabbing all the time. We had a little John boat.

We'd go out into the Y River off the Chesapeake and we'd run trot lines and the bait would be bull lips. You go to a butcher, you get the lips from bulls, you put them on every three yards, excuse me, and boom, we're crabbing, okay? Well, you don't throw 100 yards of bull lips away because you can use that all summer. So what you do is you coil it into a bushel basket,

then you take that stank ass trot line and you put that in the deep freeze. So we would keep our trot line in the deep freeze, any venison, you know, my dad hunted. And actually when we got older, he did, but he still had friends. So we'd have some deer meat, things like that. So not soda and freezy pops and shit like that,

we had man shit. Man, that's a pussy shit. Believe me, I got the message. I stink, fair. I'm looking for a Capri sun. You got fucking gopher ass in there. That's fucking, that's a man right there. I've never heard anybody talk about buying bull lips.

Holy shit. Yeah. I kind of wish he was here that you could smack our heads the game. I know, clunk is like two coconuts. I did. I ain't never had no fucking I see cooler fat boy. I'll tell you that.

Oh man, we got one. We got a deep freeze cooler too. And my stepdad keeps baiting there for crabbing and shit like bunker and shit like that. So any meat or chicken, whatever you start cooking, it smells like you're at a fucking bait shop. I'm like, I ain't eating this. I'll go to McDonald's before I eat this bunker steak.

How about throwing a French bread pizza in there to fucking bring up the real estate a little bit. Yeah, those deep freezers, they don't do good with smell. That shit bleeds. And let me follow that up with this because that's such a staple and you seem like such a man's man. Growing up, would you have milk with dinner?

No. Yeah. Thank you. Mr. Sickler, the gentleman. Jesus, might be turning. I'll talk what we drank much of soda because my father again, he worked at the airport. He'd come home with a garbage bag

of fucking real Coca Cola Sprite. We drank way too much soda growing up, way too much. What, taking it from the airplanes? But with a little baby cans, a little mini ones? Yeah, we get some of those too, but you asked me about the pizza, and now you remind him. So we never put that shit in the freezer.

We just kept that in trash bags in the basement and we would just put ice in the glass and drink a soda. It's in the tiny little cup. We kept dead animal parts in our teeth. We ain't got no room for Shasta in there. I'll tell you that. Exactly. God damn.

This guy's from the fucking... Is this common knowledge? This is a crazy fucking story, man. I love this. This is my story. It feels normal when you're living it at first, I'll tell you. You don't realize how different it is till you go over to your friend's house

and you're like, hey, you guys get hugs? And you're like... That's the fucking truth. Woo! God damn. I feel like I might get you with it. Anybody, do you know anybody that ever played semi-pro football?

Yeah. You're talking to one fucking tight end. Actually, it's actually professional football. So while I'm friends now with Orlando Brown Jr. from The Rave is the right tackle. Oh, damn, okay. Of the greatest football line and one of the greatest rushing team

in the history of the sport. But also, I went to high school with a guy. I'm still friends with him. His name's Mark Orlando. Shout out to Mark Orlando. He was a wide receiver. So long story short, Baltimore loses the Colts. And we get a USFL team called the Baltimore Stars.

While the Colts had championships. This is why Baltimore is the greatest football city in the history of football. What are you saying? It's not even close for debate. This is fact. And when I go through this very quickly, you will be like, you're right.

Okay, we had the Baltimore Colts who predated Super Bowls. They won NFL championships. They also won Super Bowls, okay? Super Bowl. They went to Super Bowls. Johnny United, right? Exactly.

Then also, actually in the 1970, they won. So then they leave town. We get the Baltimore Stars, a USFL team. They win the championship. They leave town. We get a Canadian football team called the Baltimore Stallions. And to date, the Baltimore Stallions are the only US team

to ever win the Grey Cup championship. They leave town. We get the Ravens who have won two Super Bowls. Every fucking team in football that we have had come to our city has dominated and been to the mountaintop, period. There's not another city that's ever had a Canadian team who's won a championship.

So automatically, Baltimore in every fucking version of football has hit the mountaintop and it's why it's the greatest football city. Now, Mark Orlando wasn't semi-pro. He was actually a pro and he was a receiver for the Stallions who won. He was on the team that won the Grey Cup. Damn, that's pretty flawless fucking.

You can't even know that. I don't even know anybody who could rebut that at all. You can't argue with that. I just feel bad. Everybody keeps leaving town on you. You're fucking mom, fucking football teams. Can't get anybody to stay and get this guy fucking hug. Jesus Christ.

Lamar Jackson better not fucking move anywhere. God forbid if something happens to that kid. Oh, I love him. I'll be honest with you. He's a fucking good kid right there. I'll tell you that. Man, it should have someone like that on your team. Because I love football,

so I'm a big fan of a lot of guys, but to have one like that on your team where you're like, fuck, yes. Yeah, and he's a fucking good dude. He is, yes. All right, holy shit. What a fucking tale we are spinning here. What was your first car?

Because you were out on your own pretty quick. First car I paid $500 for. It was a 1982 Toyota Corolla Tercel. People argue with me that there wasn't a Corolla and a Tercel. There was. I had to prove it online. There fucking was.

It was blue. It was matte paint. It didn't even have a finish. I bought it off my high school soccer coach's son. And what I didn't know was the fuel filter had a hole in it. And my buddy and I drove it all the way to the beach and this thing spit and gas right into the vent. We were so fucking tired when we got there,

everybody's like, wow, we're going to take a nap. Man, we're exhausted. Got three brains. I used to jump that car. We used to jump that shit on roads that have big hills. We'd all get out and jump our cars. Holy shit. That reminds me, you don't see this too much,

but asking somebody for a jump. Do you have to remember having to do that shit? I don't think anybody would do it for you now. Who the fuck? Somebody asked me for a jump. I'd lock the doors. Get your shit together. Yeah.

You're not fucking putting that on my car. No, blow my shit out. You don't know how to treat your car. You're not touching mine. How many miles were on that Toyota in the end? Do you remember? I don't remember on that one. But my favorite car, which was my second car,

was the 1990 Honda Civic with original rims. And I put 275, 280,000 on that car. God damn. That's fucking something else. Yeah, those foreign cars in the 80s and 90s, you'd put like fucking 2 million miles on them and then fucking sell it to a high school kid. They ran forever.

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Actually, any of your family members ever own a pontoon boat? Wait, say it again? Any of your family members ever own a pontoon boat? Oh, own one? No, nobody's ever owned one. Fucking partied on one, hell yes. I've definitely partied on a pontoon boat. Dude, nothing's better than a couple of cold 30 packs

in a pontoon boat and I tied. Good night. Take that thing out and open waters, try to cross the channel with it. It's by far the trashiest boat, the funnest, but the trashiest, cause it's just for people, you can't fish, you can't like water ski on it, it's just for people getting fucked up in the bay

and it's awesome. In the shade, in the shade. Yeah, some of them even have toilets on them, like the pop-up, like shit in a bucket. My brother, when I first moved to California, he thought it'd be a good idea to buy the shitty RV, I mean it was a shitty RV. It was so stoked to drive me across country

and we're gonna put an extra battery in it and play PlayStation. I was like, this thing ain't gonna run, dude. Make it out of the county, dog. PlayStation. It did, it did, it never won anywhere. Oh, that's fucking cool. I love the dream though, I'm gonna get this,

we're gonna get a fucking PlayStation and cruise. You gotta love the dream or mentality. So funny, we're gonna get like a Springsteen song, we're getting out, baby. We're gonna get this RV, get this camper pop and it goes. On a personal note, we've been going over, this has been a big controversy this week on Twitter. How do you feel,

because I wanna know what all this has done to you and what your habits are like now. Do you feel it's garbage to brush your teeth in the shower? No, no. I don't, listen, I don't, here's when I do it once in a while and it's, if I'm doing it in the morning when I wake up, if I'm gonna, look, you wanna know about me?

I like to shower at night. I don't like to get up and shower in the morning. I shower before I go to bed, I get up and then I'll wash my face and stuff like that. Unless I sweat real bad tonight, I don't shower in the morning. But when I do, I brush my teeth in the shower because I like to multitask, I like to get shit done.

There you go, spoken like a gentleman. That fucking ends that debate right now. No, it's still pushing me out. Brushing your teeth in the shower is good. No, he doesn't do it all the time. It's too dirty for me. I mean, there's people, you know, who knows what's going on in the shower.

People are washing their ass, people are peein', it's all seen in there, right? Are you laying down and brushing your teeth? I'm a big bath kind of guy. I don't know if you picked up on that. Oh, you're brushing your teeth in the bath. Now that's a fucking other story right there. Running it under the faucet while you're filling it up.

Shaving your legs. That's nasty. All right, I got one now. Let's see, let's see, you know, is there currently a purple crown royal bag in your home today? No, no crown royals. Okay.

The big, the thing about people saving those bags is that's a real garbage move. People think that's fancy. So they're like, I can't throw this out. I gotta put some coins or golf tees in here or something. Yeah, some dominoes or something. What about a TV tray? Is there a set of TV trays in your house right now?

No TV trays. No, but I'll be honest with you, I'd love to have it. If you guys know a guy that delivers at the LA, hook me up. Where do you normally eat your meals? Well, you, when you like say, when you have your daughter, will you set up like, you know, it's dinner time and do it at the table or will you rock it in front of the TV?

With my daughter at the table solo in front of the TV. Yeah, nothing's better than that. And what's your favorite thing to cook for yourself? Oh man, I don't know, I'm my crab cake. I like to grill, but if I'm gonna cook out the crab cake I make is probably the best thing to make for myself. But also like, I go to the seafood market and I just grab shrimp and I'll take them home

and steam them up real quick. It takes five minutes to throw some old bounds and shrimp, steam them up. They're great, little beer, little water. Hey, that's pretty awesome. You grill for yourself? Yeah, I love to, I'm just saying when you say cook I grill more than I cook, you know what I mean?

I'm not a, I'm not, I don't bake. I'm not a dessert guy, but. See, Sikler in there making a bun cake. I'll bake some pasta. I like to take a fried Diablo, spicy sauce, put it in a little baking dish and then cover it with some Italian seasonings and mozzarella and shrimp

and make shrimp fried Diablo like that. Oh man, I think this guy's all fucking class now. Me too, that's fucking too big points right there. My man, do you have enough self-confidence to fucking grill for yourself? That's fucking, that's a man right there. I'll tell you that, that's all right. I got one with this, sorry, what was that?

I was saying it's easier. I just think it's easier to throw something on a fire and cook it real quick. Yeah. No, I got you. I would just order Chinese instead of like a big pig and watch fucking the office. I did that too, I did that too. Foley, well, if you're growing

in your one bedroom apartment in Queens, I think there's issues. What kind of jarred tomato sauce will you buy? And will you? Jarred tomato sauce, yes I will, and I really, really, really love rails. What, you got rails, money? Holy shit, this guy's rich. They're the one I will go for.

And if you look at their ingredients, or they're the best, I mean, they've taken the stigma out of fucking ragu and all that. Yeah, that's the Cadillac dude, that's the Cadillac. Nothing's better than that. I'm always, my mom would never have bought rails because it's fucking like $10 a bottle. And I get pushed back for my girl

when we go into the grocery store. If I try to spend a little money on fucking pasta sauce. But rails I always had a stigma with because I knew that they were fucking overcharging us from the jump. They are. I mean, that's like 10, 15 bucks. And you start getting into the fucking vodka sauce?

You gotta write a check, it's like, what the fuck? You gotta start moving some things around. You get a picky eater as a child, right? She loves this spaghetti, but I've convinced her, her mom and I have convinced her that this one, Rayo's sauce, is the sauce at the restaurant. So that's the only fucking sauce she'll eat. But I'm all right with it

because it's two of us going at it, you know what I mean? And I don't do pasta that much that a $9 bottle of sauce is, it's all right. I make that shit stretch, you know what I'm saying? I'm using it in pasta and in the shrimp. I'm making it stretch. She's a guy's versatile. I've not forgotten my garbage roots.

You're all clasped nowadays. You put a little bit of water in the jar and shake it up to get the last little bit. I don't. Really? I got a scraper, no, I got a rubber scraper. Those rubber scrapers, they still get everything out. This guy's fucking classy.

I know, man. Oh, shit, right, dude, Rayo's. Nobody's ever responded with Rayo's. Yeah, Rayo's off the fucking junk. You got your act together for sure. What grocery store do you shop at now? Ralph's, just mostly Ralph's. Okay, all right.

I'm loyal to the grocery store that's closest to me to be honest, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And Ralph's is right up the middle. Okay, how do you feel about the rotisserie chicken at the supermarket? Will you dabble on a rotisserie chicken? You like a roto?

I like a roto, but I've fucked with it only a few times from the market, yeah, it's good to. And plus, if I'm being honest, I'm wasting most of it because I just like to breast me. Yeah, me too, all right? Nothing, but dude, if they're like $4.99, you get a perfectly cooked bird. I'm a skin guy, I like the skin.

I like the slice it real thin, I like the slice it real thin and then make little, I love sandwiches too much. Oh, come on, you're talking to two sandwich guys over here, right? Well, you put some chips on that sandwich, you a chip on the sandwich guy? I am, I'm fries on the burger,

chips and pretzels on the salad, I like that crunch. Chips and pretzels? Well, or, I don't mean to get. Holy shit, pretzels on a sandwich. Oh yeah, dude, I do turkey and cheese with a little bit of hers pretzels on there, good fucking night. I know what I'm doing tonight.

Exactly, a turkey and cheese or ham and cheese with some pretzels on top, it's fantastic. Dude, ain't nothing better, it's like panko breading, you know what I mean, a little bit of zest for you. Good crunch, little salt, delicious. It's the salt that does it, man, I love it. All right, I got one, now I assume a gentleman such as yourself would not partake

in any kind of business such as this, but I have to ask the questions, so if I offend, I apologize, but when was the last time or have you ever paid with anything with a money order? Yeah, it's been a minute, but when, I feel like when I first moved to California, when I got an apartment, they made you get a money order back then.

All right, yeah, that's okay. Shit like that, but I've never paid for something outside of some sort of registration or application for with a money order, no. All right, you're not dropping the rent off or the mortgage off in a fucking money order from 7-Eleven. Yeah, me either, shout out to my landlord. Just to follow up to that, I think this is garbage,

I think Kevin disagrees with me, but are you a cashback guy? Will you get cashback when you make a purchase? What do you mean, actually at the register? Yeah. Only if I need it, I try not to use cash as much these days because I'm just using my card for points and bullshit for travel and all that crap,

so I try not to dick with cash, but these days with that coronavirus, I've been doing things like haircuts and people like to work a little bit of cash these days. Yeah, cash is king, cash, I feel like I'm in the 20s again, you know what I mean? Wacking everybody off with a couple of Fajols and keep it moving.

Cash and gold, baby. I like that, all right. Pretty fucking classy, Mr. Sickler. Yeah, dude, this guy's fucking bulletproof now. You're like, you say you grill a lot, this is, we're not grilled guys, I was trying, I rented a house a couple of weeks ago upstate and I was the grill guy

and I don't know what I'm doing. What's the classiest kind of grill? Is it charcoal or propane? And what do you got? What's the way in here? If you're a purist and charcoal is definitely the way to go, but I live in an apartment here in LA, I can't have a charcoal grill,

so it's gotta be propane, but there's nothing like just the smell and the taste of something that comes off those hot coals. Done right, man, it's fucking A-okay. I would say that's more garbage, that propane is classier, because when I think of charcoal, I think of the couple of times

that we went out to some kind of function at a public park and they have the ready-made grills at public parks sometimes. I always looked at people that were grilling out there with charcoal, like they were fucking trash. Well, two things, they are trash. But they're trash that doesn't have a grill. So that's exactly what they call it.

You know what I'm saying, they're doing what they can. Propane, you know, it's just, it's cheap, I guess. You gotta eat those coals, you gotta heat them up right, you gotta get them nice and white. Also charcoal, plus most people treat it like trash. They spray a gallon of fucking lighter fuel, a thousand shit, and then blast that motherfucker, you know? It's fun, that's fun for trash.

Fireworks and things like that. Trash are big in the fireworks. Are you into fireworks? I like fireworks. The sip, I like fireworks. My brother in Delaware gets like the legit ones, and no fire, three or four of those motherfuckers off, and it's just like, it's insane.

You should add to your questions, I don't know maybe you have this, but for trash people, any fireworks injuries, you should add that to your list of questions. Oh yeah, we've touched on that. I almost lost an eye to a black cat when I was like seven. I caught some shrapnel. It was the oldest trick in the book.

Oh, I lit it, the fuse went out, all of a sudden the fuse is back on, and my buddy Johnny's holding, he gets hot potato at that point, and I was the loser. What was it this year? I know it was the pandemic, but did they loosen up the laws on fireworks?

Cause I feel like every night in New York, it was like fucking, it was like the Bay of Pigs. Yeah, it was bad, dude, it was. Dude, it still hasn't stopped. It's been, it was every night for, and I mean, we were talking about cannons. Like, oh, big one. Dude, it was like D-Day in my neighborhood

every fucking night. I was waking up at four in the morning, like I would take a mortar fire. Fucking saving private Foley over here. Yeah. Holy shit, all right, we just got a couple more questions. We're gonna get you out of here.

This has been absolutely fantastic. Kippy, what do you got? Dude, do you have any pets now? Yes. Well, the cat is with me. It's with my daughter's mom and my daughter over there is the cat, who I've never been a cat guy, but this fucking cat,

I love this fucking cat. This cat's like every woman in my life, sees me, runs over, cuddles me, cuddles him, wants me to pet, pet, pet, and then after a while just turns on me, bites the fuck out of me, claws me, makes me bleed, and then it comes back five minutes later. Yeah, I can't fuck with them,

but people that say that, it's always a guy, it's always somebody, I'm not a cat guy, but they get one that they end up liking. Got me, she got me. And plus she's internet famous. When my stepson was like, God, I don't know, seven or eight, the cat was laying up on this little balcony, like this little walkway area

where his mom lives and he rode his bike by and put his hand up and give her a high five and she straight up a high five. I mean, that cat's got more views. I think I've seen that. That's my stepson, my cat high five. I'll never outdo that. Damn, he knows famous cats too.

This guy's checking all the boxes. I like on a listers and his family. The cats won't wait, bro. You don't pull weight in his family. You're calling. Yeah, we're from an early age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Body's got a pulled airway.

Fucking wide receivers and cool cat tricks. I like it. I always thought it was trash. You know, remember when you were a kid and then on the news at the end, they would show like the squirrel that could surf. You'd be like, what the fuck? Dude, I've met that squirrel that water skis

in a boat show in AC. And dude, Peanuts knows his way around a fucking above ground pool. He was all coped up at the keynote table. They were feeding him ketamine, but he did fucking. He knew what he was. He was doing the one hand, the wave. One, two, three.

Yeah, yeah. All right, Kip, what do you got? All right, this is, I saw this. This is a Baltimore thing. This is bananas to me. Do you do sauerkraut at Thanksgiving? I don't know. What? Okay.

That's a Baltimore thing though, right? Do you know that? To answer your question, I don't know. I grew up in an Italian family. So for us, all traditional, Easter was ham, Thanksgiving was turkey, but we had lasagna, stuffed shells, big ziti, all that. So we never had some fucking sauerkraut.

Well, somebody was smacked. Your grandma would have slapped the shit out of you, yeah. I can't believe you didn't ask that question to a gentleman like that. She would have spit on the floor. That question did not come from me. I just want that on the record right now. Sauerkraut. But I'll tell you, the other thing that we like

is french fries with gravy, like brown gravy. Oh yeah. Come on. I think that's a fat guy thing. I fucking love it too. That's fantastic. Throw a little cheese on there. Good night.

Kip, you got anything else? Let's see here. I think I got one more for ya. Anyone in your family ever own like a trick remote control car? Like one that hit like a top speed that you had to fix and you know, you jumped it off like a fucking baseball field

or something? I'll tell you, not the RC cars, but we had a quasi-uncle. I guess he wasn't really an uncle, but an uncle. Which is always trashy, but they're sometimes awesome dudes. Forget about it. He was into the RC planes.

He was into the planes. So he got us into a plane briefly, briefly. We got into a plane. That's not too bad. I had a helicopter that never made it off the ground the one time. Oh yeah, I lost a drone a few weeks ago with my nephew. That thing took off.

I was in some high grass. That's it for the drone. Come on, I'll get you a BB gun. Fuck that. Yeah, that's it for me, man. That's it. I gotta say, let me ask you this, cause a past guest on the show a couple weeks ago

stunned us with something. Comedian Shane Torres asked us the question. So I'm gonna pass that question on to you. Just to close out. Now you're all class in my book, but what would you say is the classiest thing that you do? Does anything stick out in your mind? That you try to make a point to do,

or something that you're like, I'm treating myself with this type thing. I'm being a dad. My dad was a great, but I only got him for a short amount of time. So I'm trying to do what I can to make sure my ass sticks around so I can be, you know, here and, you know, enjoy my kids.

Now I'm saying that's it. Oh, shit. What a fucking answer. If I get married, will you be my best man? Yeah, right? I just want to hear this speech. Fucking not a dry eye in a house when Sikler gets done. That was a fucking Keanu Reeves.

How do you know CPR for when you croak? That's fucking smart. You got a better chance of living than dying with me though. Yeah, dude, this guy's putting up solid fucking up. Dude, first of all, he's a gem of a fucking guy. Sat through all the tech issues we had, figures it out, does it on the fly, saves lives. Damn.

Grille, I mean, this guy's fucking, yeah, man, flawless in my book. 100% class, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ryan Sikler. Yeah, buddy. Thank you so much. I appreciate you two pulling in here. I appreciate it. Thank you for the crowd work, too.

Of course, brother. Now, is there anything you want the folks out there to know before we let you get out of here? Just make sure you subscribe to my podcast, The Honeydew. Go over to ryansekler.com, the honeydewpodcast.com. Follow me on social media at Ryan Sikler. It's all there, and yeah, that's it. Buddy, thank you so much.

Kippy, what do you got for him? Yeah, guys, same thing. Just make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well. And if you want a gas digital subscription, use promo code AYG, get a free trial, get all the bonus, the live streams, the chat.

You get the episodes before they come out. And plus, we get the wet R beaks a little bit. You know what I mean? A couple of bucks in Kippy and Foley's pockets. Yeah, a little bit of cash, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Gang, thank you so much. Mr. Sikler, thank you again, buddy, all class.

I'll tell you that right now. Thank you both, seriously. I really appreciate you having me. Sorry about all that tech stuff at the top. No, buddy, thank you so much. Guys, we will see you next week. Peace.