Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Sal Vulcano: Staten Island Kid

Episode Date: February 13, 2022

Kippy and Foley are joined by Sal Vulcano from Impractical Jokers! Its a HOT one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys.  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.athleticgreens.com/GARBAGE https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE https://www.Babbel.com Promo Code: Garbage https://www.Allform.com/GARBAGE

Stop the presses gang got a special announcement the middle-class famous tour is in full effect Get your tickies me the bald one the long hair. We're coming to a city near you Bring the squad out. It's a great way to introduce people to the show. You get to see some stand-up You get to play a little a yg with me in the gui-parino. It's a good time. Hit me up Guys are gonna be in Atlanta Tampa Orlando Pittsburgh Buffalo Detroit Denver Phoenix Salt Lake City Chicago Rose man guys. It's a great time Can't wait to see out there get your tickies now. Yeah Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or

Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they're going to be classy Yeah, or if they're just a big old piece of trash I'm your host States Foley coming at you on a beautiful day down here in Antutti's basement I saw her leaving today. Yeah in handcuffs My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is my best pal in the whole wide world I love you buddy. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan. Hey gang

Thanks for tuning in as always just make sure you rate you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube As you know those numbers are true to roof fucking cooking over there on YouTube and Obviously have to mention the greatest website of all time WWW.patreon.com or you garbage sign up you get bonus content We do a whole nother podcast on there called hard feelings you get live streams a whole nine yards check it the fuck out Yes, sir and have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinary the magic man makes us all look good You know him you love him give it up for T-Bone McMuffin Toby McMullen. What up dudes about to get some texts from the in-laws off This one

Big one in here. Hey lion gang Because we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time He is an extremely funny extremely successful stand-up comedian podcaster actor and international sensation He is one of the co-creators and stars of the worldwide juggernaut that is impractical Joker They have sold out theaters and arenas all over the world. They have their own crews. This guy's got his own navy. Look the fuck out Also, the co-host of the amazing taste buds podcast, but the big question, but he's mine today. Is he garbage? I already mentioned the crews, but let's do it anyway Thank you guys for having me Staten Island kid made good. Look at that's right. That's right. Look at you like the Wu-Tang clan

Suburbs blue collar. I'm with you. What is it? What does it give me the origin story? You grew up on Staten Island? Tell us the whole deal Yeah, I grew up on Staten Island and that's pretty much the deal You're talking to the NYPD I was home. I was on a ferry. I don't even know I was born and raised there and hopped around a bunch moved a bunch when I was little I went to Catholic school Actually, I went to Catholic school grammar school high school and college really. Yeah I mean college was St. John's, but it was a Catholic It was like Monsignor Farrell all boys Catholic and then I went to St. Joseph's parochial school

That was like a little neighborhood like Catholic school. Uh-huh. That's on Staten They're all on Staten Island. So you would take like the the regular bus to school or a high school I took the bus. Yeah, the regular bus regular bus There was a Staten Island has one train. It's above ground and it has one line It goes to the end and back and if you if you were able to get to one of those train stations You could hop on that because the train we had a station at the high school So but it would take a little extra leg work because you have to walk like 20 minutes to get to that But then it was smooth sailing once you're on it. Yeah, the bus was a little bit more seedy

Yeah, your buses are nothing to nothing to play with and that's that's that's early 90s. Yeah Yeah, that was you were down with OPP you weren't What about your mom and dad? What did they do for a living brothers and sisters? Absolutely. So my dad was a sanitation man Okay Yes, good Benny's. Yes. Nice. Yes growing up. He had a bunch of jobs. I don't mean that Toby cut this I don't need Joey to wrench coming out Just let's unplug these mics

This guy's wearing a wire every time I see a tell I know him for years, but I don't know him very very well like anybody else And he always just a suit because I'm like I'm half Italian, but I'm from Staten Island My name is Sal. Everyone always just stereotypes him right away. He always is like every time he thinks I just want to talk Sopranos or Crime He's like they're making a soprano's movie you should audition Or he'll be like, oh, yeah, and he'll just ask me mafia questions and I'm like, man

I just scratched a little more the surface with me. Please. I'm not I also love any things you need to play goon number three Also despite the garden later Can't do it. I'm the answer for your penny. I love your recipe Despite that too sometimes like he calls me soul I'm soul the mafia guy to him. I guess I never have the heart to correct him Yeah, we're guys like that. You're like, oh, okay. I'm so I mean

Yeah, I'm like if I'm in front of him if he's near me and someone's like, hey, I'm bill. I'm like, hey soul His nick is nick name in the mob. I don't want to insult him his nickname in the mob is the boy They call him the boy What's the other half you said half Italian half Cuban Puerto Rican and a little bit of actual Spanish This guy's got it all. So my dad's a smoothie right there. Yeah. That's a stat now and smoothie Holy shit. Give me the soul volcano And who's whose sides are those like who's who's Italian my dad your dad's Italian and your mom is at cuban

Puerto Rican and a little Spanish and brothers and sisters. I have three sisters. Okay. Um, all All all of them have three different moms Okay, okay, so I have My dad married when he was young like 17. Okay, and was married for a while My first sister My sister is from that marriage and me and my sister Another sister from my mom's and then my dad is married to my stepmom for almost 40 years now Third sister. So they got to so your mom and dad got divorced. Did your mom?

She did for like four years. Okay. Yeah from 90 to 94, but that didn't take nobody Got rid of nobody like that's a great way to explain a marriage. It didn't take Now we rejected And And so are they are they both from statin island your mom and dad? Um, well, my mom was born in brooklyn, but lived here from a young and sat down from a young age Okay, and my dad, uh, yes And was there your extended family out there too extended? Yeah, so so okay, so my mom's Italian are we talking?

That's what I want to know how Italian. Okay. So my dad saw it very very Italian Okay, so his entire family on the same block. Wow. Yeah, I'm talking Uncle's cousins his mother his father everything a block Maybe like another block. I mean it was all within like you could shout from the window type of deal That's awesome. They had chickens and I'm sure they really live chicken. Yeah They had the coop. Yeah Sally get over here kill this rooster. No, they actually had a case of rubber chickens And that's kind of why I became a comedian

Long like real chickens. I'm like no the fillies mascot Was that it was he a chicken? Who am I thinking that? The San Diego chicken. Oh, yeah, that's it He used to be on this weekend baseball The philly fanatic and he's not anything. Of course. Of course. Yeah, would you do the seven fishes on Christmas? Uh, no, I mean part of the family would we wouldn't but we did have a big meal. Okay Yeah, I think it was more like I was probably seven fish adverse at that age when you guys do Thanksgiving, is there Italian cuisine involved in that meal or is it straight classic?

Is there a little manicotti on a table? The main the main is classic, but there's always a song Pipping a valet hit him with it run in the garage you need some gaba cool real quick Get your head on straight. All right, and you went to st. John's. Yes. Hey, John's for college Uh, major in finance. I have a bachelor's degree in finance. All right. I can get a book. Yeah. Yeah, I like it Um, were you a good student? Yeah, I was a good student I got a I got a a scholarship to college for academic. Uh, yeah, it was it was like three quarters What was pretty good? I guess it wasn't a fool. What was it? What was the gpa? Uh, well once I got into college it it was like between three and three five

It wasn't anything crazy in high school though. I like 90s. Really? Yeah, and what you get in your SATs. Do you remember? Yeah, I got uh, it was 11 90 Yeah, pretty good 650 and 540 standing remember 650 on the mass see because we get people in here that like I'm not sure and it's like you fucking know what you got. I haven't thought of it in a while But I do I always remember it. Yeah, and he's sports growing up. Yeah, not good, but like uh In grammar school. I played on uh basketball and baseball, but again, not good We we we didn't have sports and then they got sports while I was there

That's a tough one I've never seen a basketball before so like one week they're like we have basketball now And then I was like, oh, I like I shoot basketball by my house Like I'll go and then like everybody was better than me and so I got the last person So it was sixth grade. I think and there was seven So seventh grade seventh eighth grade has made varsity and then the rest went to jv And I was like the last one cut From varsity, but I wasn't good. Okay, but I ended up being the best on jv again. Not good. There you go

We were oan 14 My friend's mom Like was our coach ever coached basketball in her life. Wait a minute. I'm sorry. Your friend's mom was the basketball coach. Yeah Yeah, they were just like who wants to cook. Yeah, who's got who's got afternoons free. She had just gotten laid off So we were oan 14. I'll I have okay, so I I was the mvp that we had we still had an awards dinner at the end of the year Oh my the mvp of an oan 14 team. I I got I have the trophies to this day. I had 16 points on the season 14 games

14 games Okay, well, we never scored only the last game of the season at halftime. We were up and we couldn't we didn't even know We looked up and someone holy shit. We're winning and it was and we lost but The first game we were like, are we gonna be good? I don't know and then we're like, well What if we what if we face a team that like has much more experience than us? Every team the first team we played was from like a more urban area And the entire team was african-american entire team There's one kid on the team that was at least six foot two or three and we were in sixth or seventh grade

And he He looked me in the eye because you got to see why I early and you did practice drills He looked me in the eye. He moonwalked Backward as he dribbled and then did a no-look layup and I was like we're in trouble. We lost We lost 44 nothing I didn't even score that Sal couldn't even score against us Sal we're talking about Sal and they shut down the MVP guys

Hey, shut up man. I'm iced out over here. This guy has one point a game These guys are like in the NBA. I at one point one down time. I got it. I had a single single in a game I just picture all you kids out there and like in like suits and dress shoes and shit like that And then and then at the end of that game, you always have to line up and you like slaps hands in the middle Of course, and then you went upstairs and someone was designated to bring like like uh Of uh, hi, what do you call it? Orange. Hi. See I'm hi. See no box. No caprisan. There we go And like chips and then you go upstairs need that card

The parents were going wild in the stands because their team was in basketball how to shut out So afterwards they were they were unmerciful when we were lining up the parents stormed They stormed the court and as you were lining up they were next to their children And they just started chanting a song in our faces going 44 zip zip 44 zip I like it. I would have been out there and they just and it was just like we were little children Who were like, it was just I'll never forget. I hear it in my sleep sometimes 44 zip zip 44 zip and they chanted it From the calf court up to two flights of steps and into the caprisan room

You guys having panic attacks at nick games You gotta give them credit Shaking a caprisan they put that song together pretty quick all in unison. I know I know any trouble when you were a kid You getting any trouble any fights or anything like that? No, not really. I was a really good kid Yeah, I didn't like I did all my I went to school. I didn't cut or my sisters were a different story How far apart as I was gonna ask you how far apart are you from them? Yeah, so my oldest sister who um when she was younger she moved to The west coast. Okay, she still lives there today. Okay, so my relationship with her is long distance

I go to visit them all the time. Sure. I didn't grow up with her. So growing up. I was second. Also. I was the oldest Okay, gotcha. My other sister is three years younger. My other sister is uh, nine years younger Okay, so you and the you and the one that was three is you guys kind of mix and mingle a little bit as far as like school and high Yeah, we were in the same grammar school together right and they got in trouble She did she she ended up going to public high school and immediate I mean immediately got in with her. She came home with a from the first day and she had a fucking pack of cigarettes And my mother found an empty zima in the bathroom Zima, yeah, yeah, she's got good taste

Those were big back in the day. Those things are all right back in the day She like got in with like I mean not a gang but like like I would I would joke about it with her because she was like She had a whole crew and somebody messed with somebody and she had people. Holy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but not like she wasn't She's a good kid, but she really like she was cutting right away And she was hanging out with her own crowd right away. I was like I I was like no absences It's good shit. All right, all right so far so far not too bad played a A little baseball and then in high school. I played ice hockey played ice hockey night on the team. Yeah on the team

That's not bad. When did they get that at the school? They were a good team. Yeah, but again, I didn't make velocity I played the first couple of years on jv and then I tapped out and how about st John's were you working while you were in school or was what'd you do restaurant guy, right? You gotta be I started it from my first job was 14 years old at a convenience store 24 hours. Nice. I was there five Notice how I throw in 24 hours like it's a break They were open 24 hours. You need to not even in the blizzard of 94 did they get some loose season some milk You come by and see me. I get straightened out started stock boy went to register then eventually went to deli For the night. It was big. You made it to deli. It was huge. It was like a dollar fifty bump up

Yes, yeah an hour and then uh, so I was there 14 I've been in my 19th year when I was still there I went down the block and when I started I started delivering pizza and I eventually Pressed up time to just pizza deliver pizza. That was lucrative. Yes comparatively really cash every night Yeah, because I would make you know on a great night like 10 to 15 dollars an hour off the books Yeah, okay, which was unheard of like and the job I came from I was at 625 on the box Damn, yeah, so you're working your whole life man. That's fucking yeah. Yeah, it's commendable. Were you driving when you were doing delivery? Yeah, what was the car? Oh boy. Here was yours are theirs too. Okay, so I went through a lot of cars

Okay, so my first car ever was gifted to me from my parents at the time my dad and my stepmom It was their older car. Oh, they let me use it. They put they taped keys in the birthday card That's pretty good though. I like that. It was in 1985 buick skyhawk Shit silver. Isn't it skylark? No, you had a hawk. I had a hawk. Oh, man It was guys going off book. It was silver. We called it quick silver. I named all my cars. Oh, of course Total that uh, I was going through an intersection and a Van a plumbing van that was at a red light thought it turned green And I was on the side of the expressway like the uh service road

I had some speed there cooking and then I had bolt tires and then he went and I hit and I slid Maybe a hundred feet with the bolt eyes hitting to him car went in like an accordion I swear to god I I got out of the car the back in the front were right to here. The only thing they didn't get crushed was my seat I just And this will buff right out. Don't worry. My dad knows a guy Then um, then my dad and then I needed another car. So my dad this is how we shopped for a car My dad took me in his car and we drove we drove up and down the streets of the neighborhood Just looking for a car that had written on it like for sale

Yeah, 1300 obo or best offer. Yeah, and we got um at that time we got what was it? It was okay. So this is why I needed the car desperately too. No, no, wait that time We got a Plymouth reliant k car. I know that brown. Sure. It was the old driver's ed car They used to have two steering wheels mine didn't but those are the ones I had too I thought you were gonna be driving around with two steering wheels. That'd be crazy, dude Your boy's hitting the brake on you Go to pick up a date. You had a second. It had it was 1100 bucks It only had am radio. So I put a sony boombox with uh batteries in the front seat bench seat

And I would play the boombox while I drove Same intersection same exact intersection. I was driving the all where the car was the other way This was like a year later a lady made a turn I found out she was a tollbooth collector that worked at the varizana bridge that was right by there She she made a turn and I slammed it. She cut off traffic slammed into a total that car Okay went to court. I want it What did you lose the other one might have been oh and 14 on the court, but i'm i'm one and one I'm one and the other one the guy was I was a little bit green in in car as far as car accidents go

I had a marble nopakam He wrote his name and number on it and then when I went to go talk to somebody else He ripped it out and when he drove wet and I was contact information Bastard motherfucker right to this day. You're listening. I just hope you die Okay, let's talk about athletic green athletic green. You know him. You love him I use him every single day and that is not a lie Absolutely fantastic throw it shake it up in the mixer Good for the gut health. Yep. Good for the immunity. Yeah keeps you going all day feels great feels great

Love those athletic greens best thing about it. It's lifestyle friendly whether you're doing keto paleo vegan dairy for your gluten Free they got you cover contains less than one gram of sugar no gmo's no nasty chemicals No artificial anything while still tasting good. Take that they have over uh 7500 reviews recommended by professional athletes trusted by leading health health experts the whole nine yards I was created when the founder experienced a ton of good health issues and ended up On a compliment supplement routine to recover cost him a hundred dollars a day that wipes all of this out boom Just the ag1 in a water bottle shake it up. You're good to go. There you go

Right now it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition Especially heading into cold and flu season Just one scoop of uh one scoop and in water every day That's it. No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health to make it easy Athletic greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune supporting vitamin d and five free travel packs with your first purchase All you have to do is go to athletic greens.com slash garbage again That's athletic greens.com slash garbage take ownership over your health today. Yeah, but let's talk about the good people a ladder Love ladder. Yeah

Listen folks and these uncertain times wonky out there You want to make sure that your family's taken care of god forbid anything would happen and ladder can absolutely help A lot of people get scared off term life insurance, but ladder are the guys you got to go to yes Ladders 100 digital no doctors no needles no paperwork when you apply for 3 million in coverage or less Just a few minutes of phone laptop to apply Ladder smart algorithms work in real time to find out if you're instantly approved No need to talk to anybody on the phone, but you can if you want there you go The best thing is they don't work on commission

So they're not trying to upsell you just trying to figure out what's good for you No hidden fees canceled anytime get a root full refund if you change your mind in the first 30 days So go to ladderlife.com slash garbage today to see if you're instantly approved. That's ladder ladderlife.com slash garbage ladderlife.com slash garbage do it Yeah, the next the next lady was uh, the next lady. She was that completely a fault and a guy in a mazda miata real hip cat He had what seems to be the problem kid He had shades on he pulled over. I mean the lady were arguing he pulled over and he goes, excuse me I saw the whole thing he gets out. He goes. I'm a lawyer. He's my card if you need a witness

What I was like, whoa, and I just peeled off into the day And then uh that lady denied it. I went to court with her The guy showed up master showed up. He showed up to be my witness and why she brought a witness Okay, and then I was like she they tried to blame me and I was like I never saw this woman Right. She wasn't there at all and and and then and then she was like no she was there. She was my witness and then my law Whoever was representing me or whatever went To the witness. What color is his car and she didn't know And it was like

Isn't that like Johnny Cochran? Who the fuck was your lawyer? She should have been like uh, like law and order She should have gotten in trouble there, but they just like basically Didn't do any credit. Sure After that I got a job at the pizza place and I didn't have a car and I needed one Uh-huh, so I found another one for $900 a brown Chevy bought to me out of Yeah, I wish a brown Chevy celebrity and I I got the job and I told him I had a car already and I didn't I've been asking for that job for a while because my two friends delivered pizza and made sick money Yeah, so I was like, let me get so I got there. I can't went back to my dad

I'm like, I gotta get a car within the next three days. I start monday. You fucking crash three of them So I get the car to get the temp stuff whatever whatever it was. I think it was even fake actually to tell you the truth So like I think I went to the stat now plays by its own rules For you folks out there We just went over for our first time went to do Chrissy D's podcast and they have the sign saying like no fake tags for the bridge You get a discount, right? Yeah, we get yeah, we got I've never seen like a government issued sign saying Don't counterfeit license plates or whatever. I went to the little pizza in that car the first night It was a monsoon. I went to turn on the wipers. They didn't work

so I can't tell them they don't work because it's supposed to be my car. I'm supposed to know all about it So I went and got a fucking twine and I and I I tied it to the windshield wipers and then I and then I I wrapped it around my fist I was driving pulling the freaking the white one man band over here Somebody get this guy a bass drum. It's got a harmonic in his mouth And then and then I totaled that car delivering pizza. What the fuck dude? I know I was delivering pizza and I remember I was going to 32 reed avenue

And I was I was I was driving and I was smoking and I reached down to grab my dr. Pepper Classy the car had shifted and I was I was going about 35 miles an hour And I was three feet from parked car I slammed into the park car It popped over the curb knocked down a wrought iron friends went into a front yard of someone and the the big ziti I had long hair like ziti's all over the place. I had long hair like The ziti my god the zi Oh the ziti guys

My head went hit the windshield shouted. I had long hair in college I had shards of glass all over my hair. I swear to god. We were got the sauce Yeah, looks like your head was everywhere and I was like stunned. I'll never forget. It was a friday Because it was really busy. I was stunned and I was sitting. I'm in the week I was in the week Nobody was around and I like when it happened and I was like stunned And then moments later the other delivery guy drove past me. He slowed down. He was in a Mustang and he goes Sal I'm like go get pat. He was the he was the uh boss more ziti stat

My trunk popped open my hockey equipment was all over the street I'll never forget the guy whose car it was was a commuter from the city He got off the express bus walked across the street I had big ziti and glass in my head the police were there and he walked over. He goes. What the fuck and I just went I didn't mean it I've had no it looks like since then though. I have not crashed a car Grab a slice out of the back seat and sit down for a minute. What was the name of that pizza place? Can I ask you that classic pizza? How was the pizza? It was great

It was good neighborhood nice stand out like neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah, good food over there. Yeah, it was good food. Yeah I know the one uh, there's that one deli that has the pig in the front the pigs face You know I'm talking about fury. Maybe. Yeah, that's exactly what it's called. Yeah, this place is nice Good good good good grub over there. We got good Italian delis that yeah What it doesn't get crashed by Sal as long as Sal's not delivering it. Oh, I'll order All right, let's do some argue garbage questions here. That is quite the tail my friend Um Put gum under the table

No Okay, so far. That's a new one. So good. Uh, I did it last night. That's why I want to Really did you hear your house? No, I did it on saturday night at a restaurant in uh, brooklyn. Oh my god You walk away from that not feeling anything. That's insane. I had I was drink. I was about to I was Sal shame just ordered a drink. I gum on my mouth. What was I supposed to do? Swallow it napkins swallow Would you swallow it? No, but they're uh, they were other ways out. There's cross You're painted into a corner here That's crazy. Don't ever do that again. I'm being judged. What's going on here everything with littering of any kind

I really don't do when I see someone throw something out of their window in a car I'll be the guy that pulls up next and be like, what are you doing? Well, I'll I'll assess the person first Before I decide how I'll be start running around sometimes. I'm just like, can we not or you know, and then sometimes, you know, yeah Yeah, no, I don't litter at all. Yeah, but I mean that's not littering Is it? Yeah, it's a gray area. You're right It's a gray area. It's not not littering though at the same time. I will tell you I feel like I See and feel gum on surfaces way less than when I was growing up. Of course. Yeah, of course We were we were talking about littering in the 80s and 90s was like you'd be driving down the highway

And someone just throw a whole mcdonald like it was it just happened all the time. Yeah I mean like it was nothing. Yeah telephone poles. I we had telephone poles covered in gum. Yeah, that was a good thing Yeah, I remember when I realized that those black spots on the sidewalk were gum Yeah, like holy that's all gum. Yeah, just all gum You ever throw your sneakers over the telephone wire? I have Okay, that's littering. There you go. Well, that's art It's quick. So is the gum. What do you mean? I made a little shape out of it. This is Staten Island Banksy over here Growing up did you drink milk with thinner?

um Not as uh, as law. Okay, but but i'm sure it's happened like my aunt my aunt Insisted on milk instead of like Something else. Yeah, all right. Well, it's a grocery store. Your mom went to growing up a and p a and p. All right Nice establishment. Yeah, I don't know if they exist anymore. You guys know a and p a and p got bought by I think by somebody By like acme or associated or somebody like that. Yeah, yeah Would you guys also do like uh, where'd you get your deli meat from where you getting that from? Were you getting there from the a and p? We're getting it from the a and p or the rose

Rosebank deli, which was the deli right there a nice deli. I mean the corner deli small corner deli And what are we talking about? What did you guys do? Would you do like classic turkey and ham or are we doing like italian like mortadelle and all that stuff? I didn't go crazy. We didn't have you know, I was like ham and cheese. Okay. I was a ham and cheese baloney I'm with it. What's your for lunch today? I had leftovers Pasta and meatballs leftovers that were made at the house or you took home made at the house made at the house Okay, all right made it my sisters. Okay. Yeah, how do you and I don't have that that often either?

I know that that was a very convenient answer Sure, but actually I was running late today and the only thing I only had time to heat something up So how do you feel about if you do go out to dinner? Will you take leftovers home with you? Absolutely? Yeah. Yeah, okay Oh, no waste good man. No waste. I don't waste either. I just finish it there Yeah, I'll just eat it. I'll finish it there, but I'm bringing it home if it's not Okay, did you have the leftover was you had today? Did you had you had that a dinner at her house last night? Two nights ago. So two nights ago you went over to your sisters for dinner. Yes, and you're leaving Sal take some meatballs made too much

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you brought it home and I was partially my fault I I always say make more and have extra never run out. Sure. I'm like having a super bowl gathering right now too I'm going over this with my girl because she always wants to order less than I think I'm like she always is like don't it's gonna be wasteful. I'm like we'll send people home with food The last thing I want is someone to be hungry and not have any more food That is anxiety that's the Foley family's biggest fear and source of arguments anxiety Because my parents have people over all the time in the summer to go to the pool and it's just hey Is there enough is there enough a cue is a big one. Yeah, they they overdo it. I say

They think out they would they would they thought the meatballs were enough and I said get one more package And then we had like no joke. Yeah, like 10 12 extra meatballs. You're not making the meatballs ain't nothing wrong with it So I'm not a cook but that night because I haven't seen my family since Christmas And I really wanted to engage with them. I we all cooked together Okay, which I don't normally do but I had very meat menial tasks I chopped onions and sliced garlic and then I made the balls of the meat. Oh, okay. All right So you didn't order don't want like frozen meatballs or anything. No, no, we made it from scratch. Excellent. Yeah, excellent Now I assume that she sent you home with those meatballs in a container. Correct

Will you be returning that container or will you be keeping that container? Okay, I was a plastic or glass. Okay. Okay. It was plastic. Okay. It was new They just got a new set and this was I had never seen this at the top There's this little thing to open to it Let's air out so that when you're gonna put something on that's really full Which was the case in that moment because they had a one with sauce My brother in law went to put it down and I said you're not gonna make that And sure enough it all spilled out and then two seconds eight

He's like, what is this and he noticed you pop it so that you could push it down the excess air comes out the top Same thing we're putting out so it was new and so like for me. I always return the tupperware It hangs over my head and I I I have I'm very I have anxiety I have ocd 80 hd old x shit and through and through and that's diagnosed not just me saying it Okay, and I will think about that tupperware until I get it back to her Okay, but you know, I get that I do have some tupperware in there that I don't know where the hell came from And I did give out tupperware that does not get returned And so now I have two sets of tupperware in the house

I have the one that's like not the high-end plastic, but like that plastic like that And then I have glass that I don't give out that I keep in the house sure the glass with the clasps Yeah, it really keeps stuff fresh. You got the same set. You got a few extra days out of it's worth the course You make up you make up the money. You're preaching an employer Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah make up for the course. Yeah You clean the tupperware before you give it back. Oh What? Yeah, I got one of my Gaddafi

This guy's not putting gum under a table. I don't even know what that means, but who am I some bad fellow? Said I'm who's saying was notorious for that Never sent back a clean piece of tupperware. He got what was coming As far as I'm concerned It is a form of terrorism still at the red sauce stained them the inside Son of a bitch you let it soak. Yeah, that red sauce is tough. You gotta get in there right away. You soak that Throw a little dough on in there. Yeah, dude. I've eaten cereal out of bowls that had stains on it Oh, he's taste a little bit of oregano in your

What kind of soap are you working with you brought that up? In the in the kitchen in the kitchen. Yeah, um, and then also hand soap. What are you doing in the bathroom? Give me a rundown. I got you so In the kitchen, I've got we've tried to go green So I used to have like I I get that used to get like the Myers or whatever I would pour it into the the glass one. That's a classy move. This guy cares about details and I like that So you're a meticulous guy He knows what he's doing, but I since changed and now I order this powder

I hear good things about this and and you actually so there's no plastic It just comes in the powder and you put the powder in it and it like and you just so the refills are not you're not buying plastic Over and over. Okay. And for the bathroom for like like facings or anything I do all sorts of I I'm into skincare. I've recently got into skincare. So I'm I'm doing all sorts of stuff I'm I'm using toner. I'm exfoliating I'm I'm using I'm I'm I'm uh hydrating. I got masks. I got Long way from statin island It doesn't take much, you know

The every man can can be uh can can do skin. Oh, yeah, I got the eye stuff on right now. Oh, yeah Rex and all or whatever it's called. Well, since we changed the four cab and getting demolished in the comments Like I thought he was 72 what the hell I assume you didn't have that when you were a kid. You know, no, no, no Well, there's a soap in the house Iry or irish spring on my grandparents where I used to live downstairs when I had a certain point And I still love I still keep irish ring in the closet because I still use it I think it's the best smelling soap I've ever smelled great

But I do buy like more like organic like I I'm a soap guy Like if I'm on the road I'll pick up a soap and a soy candle like nobody's business And I bring them home and I and I have a stash of soaps and candles I burn candles all around the house. It really creates a nice ambiance even when I'm home alone I like them. I like it settles me 100% Um, I want to throw one out. You don't know if you know this one. They're not a sponsor But we I love the product beakman's 1802. Have you heard of this? I feel like I do know goat milk soap

The arcadia smell. Yeah, I think I see It's unbelievable beakman's 1802 beakman's 1802. Do yourself a favor. It's fucking. They're absolutely fantastic That the arcadia one the reason I love it. It has a reminder of coast soap. Remember coast sure I'm literally take your fucking skin off, but it's you smelled great. Okay. Yeah. Is it is it a big block or no? Is that what the beakman's? Yeah, they sell. Yeah, it's like a brick. Yeah, it's a huge brick Real classy real nice hotels Um, yeah, but I'll I'll pay for I now pay for shampoo and stuff like that. Well, I use head and shoulders Yeah, I use it at least once or twice a week. Just for the day if I don't have yeah

preventative And then in the in-betweens I I'll like pay a little extra money for the soap because it goes a long way It does, you know, I I say spend spend money on bedding Footwear and experiences. That's what I say. That's what I spend my money What is the bedding situation at the house? The bedding is nice. Nice. The bedding is nice. I did. I'll tell you for the first Man, let me think about this Okay, you're gonna this is crazy. So the further for the I moved out of the house in 1990 in 2000 1990, you know 2001

You made out of your your parents. Yeah, so 20. So I was I was 24 Okay From that from I had the same mattress for 24 years. Yeah, I just got well from my first mattress Maybe not from from newborn, but my first mattress as like a four-year-old or a five-year-old It was a twin mattress twin and I slept in that till it's 24 We moved but then I had this really small room But it had a high ceiling so my dad built like this Like little lofts just for the mattress and it fit up there

So I would just I would literally take a a frame wooden ladder out of my closet Open it and go up the ladder to go to bed every night. Holy didn't build you the ladder to go up. No The union job And then I moved from there the first time I ever moved out of my house I moved into like a basement studio apartment and I didn't know how long I was going to stay there I left in a rush actually and I left in a huff and my dad as a gesture Goes and buys me a leather couch that he buys the three-seater the love seat in the single Meanwhile, it took up the whole the whole yeah, so I was like, all right. I can't fit a mattress on the love seat

Exactly. So I couldn't fit a mattress. So I was like, all right. The three-seater is comfortable and it fits me I don't know how long I'll be here nine years. I slept on that couch I slept on the couch for nine years from 2001 to 2010. I slept on the couch Did not have a bed. That was my bed. What was the reason that you left in a huff? Can I ask? Uh a little bit of a a little bit of a friction Okay friction at home been there fair enough Did you get to keep the couch after that or was it gone? I I well when I moved to my next apartment, I gave those couches away to my cousins and I bought new stuff

Very nice. I'll hand me down kept that you slept on for nine years. That's a tough hand down that one I think I tossed okay, but the single and the love the single was like brand new You know the love seat I gave away. Yeah kippy babble babble le babble le babble los babble El babble, I don't know if I'm saying right, but you got to get on babbles. You want to learn a new language Yes, absolutely fantastic The easiest way to learn a new language is with babble now that you're a international man travel And I'm an international businessman now. You're international of course. You're like my protege. That's right

You got to learn a new language. Listen. You can't go over there start acting like a bozo like hey Where's the burger king can't be doing that you got to speak the language Yes, it's the best learning app and they you know why because they sold over 10 million subscriptions Look at that 15 minute lessons to make it the perfect way to learn a new language on the go Uh other learning apps use ai for their lessons plans, but babble lessons were created by over 100 language experts Not some computer a robot doing it for you Not some bozo strip red blooded people doing it for you Uh babble speech recognition therapy helps you or technology helps you improve your pronunciation and accent

So you sound like a native. There you go. You know, it sounds like a real french guy Right now when you purchase a three month babble subscription, you'll get an additional three months for free That's six months for the price of three. Just go to babble.com use promo code garbage. That's babble b a b b l dot com code garbage babble language for life kipping. Yes You like helix mattresses like them love them sleep on them. Right. Well, I got a little something for you What's that helix is uh also stepping out of the realm of mattresses getting into the furniture game With a little company called all form all form absolutely fantastic. We've got a couch sitting right here comfortable affordable Easy to put up easy to set up get it together t-bone get your feet off my couch. Yeah

It's the easiest way you can customize a sofa using premium materials at a fraction of the cost of traditional stores You pick your fabric you pick the color you pick the kind of legs What color sofas size the shape whole nine yards They got arm chairs all the way to eight seat sectionals whether you're a one person party You're hanging out with a crew. They got you covered all forms All form sofas are delivered directly to your home with fast free shipping right now If you buy a sofa from a traditional retailer take months to arrive They jam me up. Yeah supply chain. Yep. Not what all forms. Nope

They were like we said we got one over there t-bones lounging on it right now What is dirty muddy skateboarder shoes all over it? You're grounded Get that clean your room They offer financing and flexible payment plans. So an amazing sofa is never far away They even offer forever warranty Literally forever to find your perfect sofa go to all form dot com slash garbage and all form is offering 20% off Off of all orders for our listeners at all form dot com slash garbage one more time all form dot com slash garbage I'm back to the show

You were talking about experiences on the road If you have to choose one major chain food place like a red lobster or tji fridays What brings these out back if the club's closed it's late You're not in a city where you can go get a steakhouse or whatever chain chain. What are you doing? Or what do you like to see a lot buffalo wild wings? I I If I have my choice, I'm going to red lobster. Whoa, really? Yeah red so red lobster the guys and I this guy's from the show

Uh-huh for some reason when we would celebrate from a young age. We'd go to red lobster Okay, we continued that through our adulthood. So when we got the show we went to celebrate a red lobster. Yes So the four of you fucking pure trash. I love rolling into a red lobster How about this when we got picked up for a second season the president of true tv at the time and his second in command Who since we're fired send you anyway? Where do you want to go? They were since fired, but like and and they they a cat's out of the bag. They were not good, but um They were like let's go to dinner I'm gonna go where do you want to go and we were like we'll go to red lobster with you and he's like red lobster

What the fuck are you talking about? And they're like like that's where we go. Yeah, so that's that's how we do it like We're granted. We know what it's about, but we keep the tradition. We go to red lobster So he's like you don't want to go to he goes per se, which is like one of the almost high end And we're like no, we'll go to red lobster. So they have cheesy biscuits there Then shut up. Let's get from the sea. So we went to the Times Square red lobster and you know when you wait for a table to give you the they give you the beeper Primp ahead of going with him. We went there the beeper there is a lobster claw that lights up red Whoa, we went as for a table walked out stole it

Put it in a velvet box a very fancy velvet box with like a satin bow Shipped it to his office and he opened it and it was the buzzer waiting to go to red lobster These guys are fun I got a story here joke I got a story. So so he's like, all right, we'll go he ends up reserving a private room for us So it's the four of us and the two of them, right? I can't believe they have that at that red lobster. I know it's just a basement but still You're next to the box is a soda, but it's all right

You're eating seafood gumbo and madham two shows It was the loading dock So we get that he he's not there. He gets there ends up getting there like 20 30 minutes late So we're like, all right. So we didn't like the guy, right? So we get the waiter ahead of time. We go, listen We don't like this guy. He's paying do me a favor We want to order everything even if we don't say it to you order this this this this this just bring it out When I tell you I want a lobster, I'm gonna say I want a lobster Bring me the heaviest lobster you have for all of us. So he's like, I got it. I got it

So we eat the whole friggin meal at the end of the meal. The bill came. It was like a cvs receipt He opened it back your phone number. We saw his face. He went it would try folding and he and he like this And he looked it was 700 dollars Red lobster 700 dollars And then my buddy take that suit Were you gonna get 700 bucks for a buddy? Jokes on you

And then he was like, I mean he was gonna put the card down and like, you know But he he couldn't be like how is this possible? So he just like we saw him like what the fuck and then my buddy Murray he he he took out of it He goes, I have this if you need it. He had printed a five dollar coupon from this And he cut it and he just slid it over and the guy goes. Oh, fuck you coupon Well, we spent another 50 I get 10 off Somebody we got room for dessert Red lobster. Yeah, okay. Okay. I love it. Where would where would be a nice? I'm not adverse to other places

Of course. I'm just saying if I had the Of course, what would be like a nice dinner out for the family when you were a kid? Where would you go? Uh, no place really no place big. We didn't go out to dinner a lot at all actually really Some place incidental like the mall like ground round. Okay. Well, if you know what that is Something like that. I'm out of business That burger smell that like that like almost a one burger smell that hits you when you get out of the car in the parking lot I would float into that place as a little free popcorn. They play the movies on the wall We also there's a place called farrels

Which if you look that up, it was like for a kid It was awesome because it was like an old timey It was like a burger joint It's like old timey. It had like a whole concession stand candy. It looks like it was from the 50s The guys wore those like the hats and yeah, the what do you call it like the acapella? Oh, the quartet The best and the striped shirt with like that like that foam Top hat or whatever. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah, like uh

Barbershop quartet exactly right. Yeah, what about the vacations when you were a kid? Would you do any of them? I I never was on a plane till I was 18 on my own Wow We're supposed to go to disney or when I was little and I got the flu. So I was told So I was told but we did drive so you're sick as a dog What are you talking about? I feel great. You got mickey ears on sun tan lotion. It was like M&M's mom She was like just made me believe I was sick. Okay We uh, we would go to uh, like great gorge and vernin valley, new jersey

Like that was like a resort up there. Okay a ski resort and a summer resort everything. So we would drive and do that Okay, that was like that was our big thing. Poconos. We would go to the Poconos. That we would do drives Drives, but I yeah, I never flew anywhere. I never was yeah. What was the first time you went out of the country? First time I went out of the country. I was I think probably uh, oh, it was if this counts. It was mexico 95 Okay, yeah, yeah, the mexico was like, you know college like friends sure But like proper proper probably london at 21. All right. Yeah, there you go Do you have a davin buster's card in your wallet right now by any chance? I don't but I do have Two cards that I don't know if they're still active, but they had a balance

In my in my drawer in my closet at home Because they have a balance I don't go to davin buses I should say that I I've only gone a couple times in my life But one time we went out to filming we took the whole crew and we got shit-faced and we bought cards for everyone So we just did that. Yeah, we just did it in syracuse and it was fun as shit Oh, did you go this one has the the pac-man that's like it's four players at the same time It's the screen is like the size of that wall

And you play against each other So there's four pac-man if you bump into someone you bump them out of the way. It's a competitive pac-man. I forget what it's called Oh my god, we didn't leave the machine Didn't leave the machine. I even looked it up to get it like for my home But it's it's unreasonably priced. Oh, I think I could imagine Hmm What was the biggest purchase you made when you when when like say that second season you guys get that check Was there an irresponsible purchase that you made?

Or is that not there was no check in that second season? It took a while season seven. I could seriously could have worked at target and made the same money the first season Playing bumper cars and style when you when when you first hit it what I would I get? I bought a used BMW Okay, all right. It was 29,000 dollars All right. Hey cash. Should you finance that? Um, no, I financed. Okay. Yeah, that's reasonable

That was a big that was a big thing Um, I'm trying to think of I I mean really if I bought anything really really big. I I don't really I don't really splurge on big things again. I do want You're a shoe guy to bedding shoe and and experience him and fursy always talking about how many pairs of sneakers would you say you have? uh 300 maybe 300 250 all in the setup but like what I'm imagining like in the in the closet and I don't have a big enough place So I have like about 70 75 pairs in my closet. I have about another like maybe

30 upstairs and then like another like 150 in storage or something like that. Holy shit So you have a storage unit? Yeah, not because not for the sneakers is because uh, I use that too much shit And I'm move I'm gonna move eventually and I needed like an interim space. Okay. I just I've only had it for the past year All right. Do you have any like super rare ones like some jordan one crazy shit? Yeah, I got some rare ones I got uh, I got those back to the future mags. I have uh, those things are nuts Yeah, the tom sacks mars yard a mars 2.0. I don't know if you know those or I have dude. I don't know shit about sneakers. Those are the only two I know

The chicago off-white. I have some I have some big pairs. What's the most you've ever spent on a pair of sneakers on single pair? Oh, I don't know. Um A grand two grand three grand maybe around three But the ones I bought at three Are all about six now. Yeah, got you and I haven't won bitcoin. Yeah, it's like and I've I've traded and I've sold sneakers and I made money That's all yeah, like money on a trade or a sale. I'll buy another pair with that money. It's not like I'm not I'm not just spending I got you. Yeah, I don't just spend three thousand on sneakers. Sure. Yeah Do you go so you most of my sneakers are regular, you know, do you go to those?

Do you go to those like sneaker things? I don't go to the cons, but I do go like to You know what happened like it used to be a it used to be different the whole landscape of sneaker like Sneakers has changed and now it's all online and it's automated and there's bots and there's all this shit Used to have to know someone or wait online or a bit and you could get that pair Like a hype pair for retail and then you made it was a big deal. Yeah Now I like I have a guy and I work with him. You have a shoe guy. I'm from bird krisher It's everybody's shoe guy. I give him a shout out all the time. Angelo Blando. God bless the kid. Love them Okay, have you ever owned a switchblade comb?

I have one right now. Really swear to god on you. No Dude, do you think if I would have said I have I would have just took it out Zipping real quick Let me tell you a story. See Could you imagine I pulled it out and combed my hair right now. You would have to shut this whole place down That's insane. I wrote that question two years ago when we started and I've never used it on anybody I know I do because I have this junk box In my in my spare bedroom and I and I it's it's in there in the yellow box still like the yellow box

Yeah And I recently went through there and I saw it and I was like, you don't you don't throw that out Yeah, I don't throw that out. You don't know it went one day. I knew one day it will fulfill its role Go ahead a hair fun guy. He's got that today was the day. I had that shift for 20 years today was the day and I blew it come on Uh any chinese stars num chucks anything like that as a kid. Yeah, I had them all fireworks Fireworks I had yeah, I didn't Hored them, but we did ride our bikes down to st. John's avenue when there was a guy that sold him out of his garage

And uh, he was the neighborhood guy Chinese star they used to go to the um, we had this thing called the big apple bazaar. It was like one of those uh, flea market Yeah, that's where every kid got the flea markets. Yeah, the flea market Saturday mornings or whatever 100% that got him there And then I had none chucks, but they were like, um Phone the padded ones. Yeah. Yeah, they were good. They were a good time, but I went out with those I loaded up. I went out and we we walked around and made sure everything was cool We patrolled catching some litter bugs Had you like a slight bruise on your forearm

huh tough guy Yeah, we'd not we didn't dare throw the stars, but I did have I did have a full star to though those I would throw. Yeah. Yeah. Those I would throw like just they wouldn't do anything BB gun I didn't have one my dad had one shot a kid one time. Really? Okay. Let's pause here Let's get that lawyer in the meadow. Let's pause the station identification For a weather on the two What was that situation? Why would your dad pull the BB gun? Um, I so he was a superintendent of the apartments that we lived in at the time. He had multiple jobs

Okay, I was getting into that growing up. He was yeah, so he had two full-time jobs city job and a super full-time Yeah, so you guys live there for free. Yeah. Well, yes. Yeah, he did but then when we got divorced We did my mom and he moved and paid he moved in the other building and paid paid to live and we lived for free Holy shit, your parents got divorced and they lived in the building next to each other. Yeah. Yeah, that's that now That's about a stat now is again So the dad's the super and a fucking sanitation Yeah, we had so the kid he had your mom by the balls You like this free apartment

Holy shit, I just know that he told me he told me the story one time So he had an office and there was one kid and he was walking his dog and this kid everybody Hated this kid. He was like a like a team and uh, he was like people just he was a piece of shit the bag Yeah, so my every every town my dad was just gonna like, you know I don't think he thought it was gonna hurt him at all and I and I think it was not Aim for his like like I don't think he did wasn't gonna appear scared It was like a BB gun sure But I know he told me he cracked the door open

It was like one of those pump ones and he put stuck the nozzle out so the door was cracked It's like a brinkstruck And my cousin who was my whole family and everybody was like on the On the staff of the building like maintenance. Nice. One was my cousin. One was my grandpa You know, like all that stuff. So my cousin was in there And my dad stuck any and he just pulled it and the kid was like, oh And he just screamed it hit him like in the face or whatever And then he he ran he got his mother and the mother came back and she went straight to the office

Like boom moment. She's like somebody shot my son with his BB gun. Oh my dad was like, let's go We'll find them and they went walking with a look Gonna have a hard time finding myself The case was never solved the witness is all disappeared. I hope there's a statute What if there wasn't there's no statue of BB Where were you june 4 1991 now you got after he does that does he take the BB gun to the varizano and throw it over Wrapping it a blanket file the serial number off real quick I'll find the prince of a dead man on there

What about you any injuries as a kid you break anything? Um, I didn't break anything. Um That was my clean to fame for a very long time. No broken bones. I've never broken a bone. No cavities. No cavities. Yeah Yeah, even now now I Man got a nice set of white chompers on it. It's a shame to say this but a couple of years ago I ended up getting about three or four cavities first time in my life But uh, there's this new thing now. Well, you can't even you wouldn't even know The new way doesn't pull that It doesn't shoot the silver into yeah, yeah, they're not melt. They're not fucking melt. Yeah

So I do have a few now, but you don't understand what a fall from grace that was for me. I I would lead with it Some kind of no broken most volcano mobster. No cavities You might know me as soul But I I did get hit by a car when I was four Yeah, I was right. We've talked about it. We've been on record getting hit by cars We're doing something you shouldn't have been doing so probably so so I was with my dad We were playing frisbee And it was right. It was like a down the block from his office from the apartment suit

We we uh, we lived at and it was a it was a what do you call those those posts vw posts? Yeah, like uh, like uh, uh, uh, like yeah, they're like a bug like no, no, no, no, no, like um, oh like a catering hall a vfw Yeah, okay, what I say I'm like, it was like a view. I got tore egg. It's like an old cereal company We're gonna beat those nazis vw post cereal twice the brand show hitler. We mean business with vw posts Man, I'm sweating Getting in the heat. We got you the hot seat. Yeah, Tony Tony talking about guns and statutes. That's what's going on Jesus Christ, let me take this off

So yeah, so so we were playing frisbee So there was that was down the box. So the it was closed So the parking lot was 100 empty and it was all one way in for cars. Otherwise it was gated later on for many years That's where we played roller hockey. Okay a big park a lot. So I go in there with my dad and uh, the front gate is closed There's only one back gate open behind the thing Small gate and I'm talking this thing is huge like you could play like that's on both sides That kind of thing not like uh, not like in the suburbs like what would be the parking lot of supermarket sure But uh, like a church parking lot. Yeah. Yeah

And my dad it is only us in there and was thrown as it was a coca-cola frisbee I'll never forget we thrown it back and forth and then somebody's walking on street My dad knew so he went to the chain link the gate. It was high and had like, uh barbed wire. Yes. Thank you so much Follow me around, please He sent you out for a long once we could talk to his friend There you go selling So he went through it and it did that thing the bend Yeah, and I went over there and I went to go walk to get it and I saw a station wagon had entered from the other side

Now i'm the only object in the lock So in my head even at four or five. I was like, I'm good. He sees me. This guy's got a stink that I'm walking to it He's driving to it. I get to the frisbee. He's still driving at me. I look down and I go to pick it up I will never forget this. I go to pick it up. I see him coming. I pick it up. I drop it And I'm like, should I get like and I went to pick it up again Woke up. I just woke up in my dad's arms. He was running to the car Oh, it was like probably like four or five minutes later. Jesus. Yeah, and my dad actually recently I didn't know this. He recently told me that he freaked out and he started

Like he wanted to get the guy out of the car and he was like punching the car and everything and the guy would like wouldn't get out of the car get my baby And then my dad's friend was like south south stop punching the car Son of My dad grabbed me and then he was running. I woke up like when he was running and then we went to the hospital And I had you know bumps and bruises. It was like I got battered with some soft nunchucks But somebody who knows how to use them. Yeah, what happened to the guy in the station wagon? Um, we sued him, but it wasn't a lot of money. I got $5,000. I couldn't touch it till I was 18

That's your dad gave it to you. Yeah. Oh, what a fucking great guy. What do you mean? That's awesome. What do you mean? It doesn't have to it's family money. No, my mom would have fucking no I had a buddy that's got 200 and he got ran over when we were skateboard. He got $250,000. That's real money We were like 12. That's insane. I can't touch it while I was 18. We were like keeping him in a bubble till he turned 18 But you just get alive and we're all on easy street. Mine was 12 about 12 when I got it 12,000 Really? So you knew the whole time growing up that you had that weight. I had to wait I would have been running my mouth Wait till I get my station wagon money

My first girlfriend I was gonna use it for ring money Babe, just wait I got the station wagon money from the frisbee accident That's like a shitty version of west side story. Just wait till my wait till my wait till my station wagon money I'll get you out of this this bulldog town I told you I got station We'll get off this goddamn island. I'll tell you It's like uh, what's his name from uh, good fellas the pittsburgh pigs like I got my station wagon money coming Sally, that's all we have

Good lord Um, okay. Would you consider yourself a fan of the tv show deadliest catch? No Really never seen it. How many times maybe incidentally like I know it's about the fishing boats, right? Yeah, but not appointment viewing in the volcano. No, no, I never I've maybe seen purrfully an episode Okay, how many times have you seen the town? Once, uh, uh, ben afleck. Yep. Once boston bank robber I saw in the theater toby get this guy out of here. I saw I told you get my bp gun

I saw in the theater. I saw in the theater. All right, I'll give you that I mix up Um, you have a pool now. You have a pool now's no, I never had a pool my whole life Never had a pool. Uh, there was one for the apartment buildings Oh, really? Yeah, so I had I had the pool when we lived there, but uh, personally, I've never had a pool That's pretty nice. Well actually right now right now as of Two years ago. My dad has a pool. He moved to jersey. Okay, and uh, and he has that's the progression, right? It's like brooklyn to statin island statin island Yeah, that's what a lot of people do. It's like generational. You got it. Yeah

Okay, you own a pair of crocs I did I don't right now you own a pair of uggs. I do not what you're thinking They're for the hate They're like, uh, they're like proper snow boots. Not like Lindsay Lowens or something like that. Yeah, okay Not fur and stuff. Uh, do you know karate? Um, I don't but I took karate in eighth grade for about six months. Yes. I was a white belt Uh, double black tip iron fist. Okay, that's when I checked out About six months and my mom was like, I'm not gonna pay for this if you're not gonna take it serious

Was it like a sensei glenn he's dead now sensei glenn no way glenn was a good sensei who saw uh Was it like a proper dojo or was it like a strip mall? It was at the ceo that we played basketball in my catholic youth center. Yeah Yeah, I went to one of them. See why I see why I'll see why I'm messing up all my acronyms today Uh, have you ever cut the sleeves off a hoodie? No, okay. Do you have magnets on your refrigerator right now? Not on this one. I have one magnet on my on my um

Uh dishwasher, okay that I just got like you look to me to be like You know this one Right now, but from the place I just moved from it was covered head to toe But I upgraded my fridge and I have like an adult fridge like a little bit like a stainless steel. We talking stainless steel subsy Yeah, I just feel bad to put the magnets on it. Okay, but my other one was a fridge of air white Yeah, it had it was covered with every school photo of my knee everything all I even bought those stupid poetry things You know what I mean like the word the word Yeah, well that I mean I hadn't college I threw it on the fridge and that was on that fridge for that many years. I mean

What's the what's the oven? Is it a viking? It's a wolf. Is that good? Yeah, it's I upgraded, you know like just recently I like I bought a place my first place ever bought about five years ago Okay, yeah You have name brand luggage Now I get my luggage at like marshals. Yes, whatever. I have it. It might be samsonite, but it was like compare at 79 99 It was like it wasn't anything special. Do you I'm sorry. I did get luggage as a gift That's like a fly. Oh some some nice luggage from my agent one way probably. Yeah. Yeah away Uh, I'm looking at wolf oven ranges right now. Does does yours have the flat top on it?

The griddle, uh, no it's six six range Burners. Yeah. Hey cook it over there. It's doing all right. That's a lot of meatballs. That's too extra burner money. I like this shit It doesn't I think the griddle you put it in like in the middle maybe you could buy it and put it on or something like that You gotta get that. That's just so good. I know I know but I don't I don't cook like that. So What's the number on the wolf? It's up there Go for you. What is it? I don't know. Go for you. I'm looking at is 13 and a half thousand

What? Mine was more than my car Mine was 12 five Plus tax No, that's surprising that the fridge was like 11 But the wolf was like I think five or six those are expensive and I went in hard on the uh, I built I built it out So I went in hard because when you resell I'm told that's The bathrooms and kitchens are a big big deal. Yeah, people look for those buzzwords

So I just wanted something that would last me a long time and then have hold Value when I'm gonna sell again very sensible very sensible guy Mark guy, um, do you hang your t-shirts or do you fold them fold? Like that. I can't hang it. It'll ruin it. Yeah boxers briefs Uh, it's the boxer briefs. Excellent. Yeah socks ankle socks high socks Uh, summer ankle and no show rest of the year mid ankle Nice. You're on top all that stuff. I want to have two sock drawers. How many so many socks? I gotta get rid of socks. How many suits do you own?

Uh, not a lot two and two sport coats. Maybe two two sport coats name brand on the suits. Um, one is Shea crew and one is uh, uh, who's that guy? Versace? No It's like, um Kenne Cole. No, but it's it's kind of like Okay, it's maybe from he's maybe from london. Yeah, tony baker a little flash baker baker. Troy Baker. Ted Baker. All right That's respectable. I got it at uh Sacks off off. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a big

Nordstrom rags. I bought that suit a decade more than a decade ago. It's still the one I use off sack down the street from sacks I've been there. Yeah. Yeah um Hmm Do you ever wear your high school class ring? No, okay. Oh when I got it. Yeah. Yeah flash it a little bit Yeah, like at school If if you get take out or something delivered to the house Do you open the bag or do you just rip the bag?

What do you do? Do you just rip the bag open if they staple it? I'm ripping it open. Okay. If it's folded nicely, I'll keep it as it's now Will you plate that food or will you just eat it out of the containers? It's it's anybody's guess It depends on my mood I've played it and I and I've eaten out of the container more so than not if it's manageable out of the container I'll keep it in the container. Okay, uh, but if it's like if it's if it's gonna be awkward or it's gonna cut I can't get a knife and fork in there Then I'm gonna and I'm gonna take it off and put it on the plate

You do a real Christmas tree at the house. So you got a fake one right now. I have a fake I've done real So my five years in this house my first year was a real And it's just too much the needles are too much. I got a the tree I have now. I'm in love with it I'm in love with it. Is it white? It is not but I love a white tree Italians love a white tree. I it's I got it at Costco. It's it's pre-lit That thing is 10 feet tall. I never have to shape it. It comes out of the box. It's up in five

set This morning this morning. It's great. Wait this morning. I shit you not at 9 30 in the morning I took my tree down. I brought it to the storage room. Oh this morning. What? Yes, I use I usually go sometimes even I'm a big Christmas guy. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're still turning it on at night like when you're every night sitting watching TV I'm not gonna not do that. It's there What's your idea? What's your asshole? My girl be sitting watching television and it wasn't lit up and I'd be like, what do you do? What are you a sociopath? You have the joy right behind you. You can be having the joy

You can turn it from white lights to colored lights everything. Oh Man, that's something else. Ever been to an air show Yes, I've never seen a crash at an air show. No, okay blue angels. Nice. That's good. I don't know the blue angels Um, have you ever run at a u-haul truck? Yes. Wait, can I ask you guys a question? Are these off the dome? Are you asking like is this a standard like? No, it's new It's there's a couple How do you how are you able to find more and more because we're fucking trash, man? We're living this. We just I told you I put the gum on this

You gave me shit for it. It's an unbelievable feat though because you guys how many episodes in are you guys now? It's 200 of our that's insanity and you had a line of questioning for 200 episodes and like this is not We find the good ones in the ones. Yeah, there's a mix match for sure. I didn't mean to No, but like the comb one I literally I think I I don't think we've ever used that the comb the switchblade comb Oh, I do have a comb in my pocket. No, I know but I'm saying I Oh, that's even weirder. What the fuck you have a comb babe. I got a comb I leave the house with chapstick a riding utensil and it's a pretty good comb I'll give you that it's only because I grew my beard out a little bit and because I have a sloppy bullshit right now

and sometimes it looks But I missed the last question U-haul truck. Yeah, I rented one. Yeah I like how that's the only guy you haul I got an account I got an account, but no, there's a lot of questions that people There's a lot of questions. They get you though. They got you. Oh The price the price on the side of the truck. You're nowhere near that price. No, maybe for the propane tank. That's it But no a lot of people they want to know like different comedians how they feel on different things

You know, I mean, here's a big one growing up. Was it uh helman's mayonnaise or was it miracle with helman's good See there you go. Do you brush your teeth in the shower? No pee in the shower. I have okay. I don't make it a habit. All right If you give a tub catches me off God I have a tub. Yeah, you have a tub. You have a tub in the shower separate tub separate Glass doors. Yes rainfall shower head. Yes, this kid's all right I got the jets which I never use Really? I was like do it. It's looking my first big. I'm gonna do it up. Do it up

Put the jets in I put the handheld the rain the jets never work They get on they shoot like a fire hose. They slap against the back of the wall They're hitting pots. I don't need But I do I did put a steam shower in there too. Nice and five years I've used it four or five times, but when I use it, it's a real humdinger. I put the I put the Essential oils on there. I get it smelling nice. I usually do when I have a cold. Nice. He likes to take care of himself I do like that. Now. I mean, it's is when you got these new Appliances or even when you got the house everybody comes over right you give them the tour they walk around

Sally it is that the other thing. Yeah, I host a lot a lot. You do. Yeah, my whole family friends host all the time Did you do is it usually at your house is where everyone's coming? Yeah, so Thanksgiving was a south Thanksgiving I don't do I do Christmas. Okay, but I also host like Part birthday's this that the other got your friends and family go to sales. Yeah, yeah, I have it at sales But usually catered or cooking Um More so than not cooking. Okay, but catering also nice depends on the depends sometimes a mixture. I like it Yeah, very classy. I don't again. I don't cook. Yeah

Hmm. I think I only got a couple more here I have a real quick one. Have you ever been to a dinner where someone paid with a black card? And or do you have a black card? Sounds like he's got a black card. No, I I don't have one, but I have been at a dinner when someone paid one. You have an amEx though, right? Yes You have a capital one card? I think it's it's it's it's like done. I think I haven't didn't cancel it, but they were like if you're not gonna use it Yeah, what are we doing here? Mr. Volcano? We could use your business. That's a nice wallet

Yeah, we care about the numbers Yeah, what are you doing? You're pulling this out. We're in 4k south. I'll be stealing. I'll be stealing the wolf brain shit Can you catch that? This one's fun. This one's like that. Oh, we got one of them. Yeah, that one's fun. It makes you feel like it's a lot It's just a little heavier. No, they know what they're doing. It's just like tin foil on the outside Oh, the metal forget about it. Yeah I'm showing us. We just got a social security. He's waving his social security card around. It's camera's work You guys been on fucking 9,000 episodes of television. We'll all be having wolf rages pretty soon all on sal

Put it on sal scott Keep butter on the counter you put it in the fridge Fridge, okay salted or unsalted both Really? Gentlemen bagel bites or pizza rolls They Bagel bites if you had to have a frozen pizza, what's it gonna be? It's a very good question Also, what'd you grow up with what I grew up with was elio, of course. He's 90s kid. Yeah, I grew up with elios

Right now. I'll get like uh, I don't know what she gets from the supermarket It's like one of those organ like it's not it's not California pizza kitchens big Amy's puts out a pretty decent It's probably Amy's Amy's does it does a good job But I'll also what I'll do is I'll go to like a place like because I had I just got rid of it But I had a little apartment in Brooklyn near table 87 and Luzos and all those places and some of those those guys they do the like the freeze dried pizza Sure, and then I'll get I'll go get that. Nice. You ever eaten arreos?

Really? Yeah a few times I got a you got it in there. Yeah. Nice. My best friend's dad knows the guy. We didn't mention any names I didn't mention any My best friend Steve from growing up from mulberry lake Do you currently own a drone? No, were you a fan of the 18 growing up? Yes Shut up. He's been on an 18 been they put them on peacock. I've been questioning them We were we're redoing for the first time ever the beginning of the opening credits of the show

Sure in the next season and so now we're having these creative conversations about it and it's been kicked around to To mimic the a team opening. Oh That's it. It probably will not happen. We used to memorize. We used to do that all the time We would fucking we'd say the lines would all jump on the bed. I had the van Oh, man That thing was unbelievable. How did they not get caught the most conspicuous looking van? Yeah, they're driving all over the country. Good writers. What do you mean? Let's say you're going to a dinner party at a friend's house, right?

You know, we use verzi a lot for this. Say you're going to verzi versus my boy. I love verzi. He's the best You're going to a party at verzi's bar. I've done it. I've done it. Of course. Yeah, I know That's why you're taking a bottle of wine or a gift for you know, sure What do you do a bottle of wine? Sure. How what are you dropping on that bottle of wine? Yeah, I'm going I'm doing it. I'm going to do especially with him. He knows. Yeah. Yeah Well, I just you know what? You know, it sucks when you do it and you have no idea if they know and they just throw it on the thing They're gonna say like, I guess they won't start making sangria with it. What the fuck? That's shit. I'm not in the pan

Ah, perfect. I just put the muscles on the stove I mean if it's if I'm going to something like if it's like they're they're making a nice dinner Or it's like a more of a like a like a holiday or something like that if I'm just going like a party, you know I'll get a regular bottle or whatever. I'll usually bring the liquor, but I'm bringing a wine Not a 50 to 100. Cool. Okay. Yeah, very very very good Uh, you cut your burger in half when you eat it. No You put when you put the burger back down you put it upside down So you would bite and then drop it like that to keep the structural integrity of said burger. Oh, I understand

I just Oh, I got you I uh, I think I usually put it back the way it is, but meticulously. Okay. He just winked at me as he said meticulously Favorite Gatorade Um, it now I got to go with the the g the zero sugar with a sugar calorie one, of course and it's that light the light purple Okay, very light. I forget what it's called. Yeah, but growing up I gotta go just a traditional orange classic. Yeah. Yeah, when we were kids all they really had was orange Yellow yellow and red. Yeah, you have Gatorade gum when you were a kid. Yes, I did. That was the greatest. Yeah

Um, have you ever been to a bikini car wash? I threw one But not me I'm just gonna close my book We did car washes as kids to like make money We also would go to the supermarket and ask people if they wanted to carry their bags from the From the door to the car Wow, because they wouldn't let that when we were little they had up steel poles

So you couldn't get out and so like you just size up somebody if you saw like a mico woman to be like this This might turn into a finsky. Yeah But uh, yeah, so car wash. No, I not I yeah, no, okay not on your own accord. You did it for comedy purposes Yes, yes. Yes. Can you play chess? No Can you name three classical composers? Sure Okay, you want to do that You'll be right now You want to throw right now get back to you today because I can do it for you right now

Mozart Bach and Galileo Galileo Steve Perry You got Bon Jovi. All right, you got First concert My first concert was Bon Jovi. Wow Bon Jovi, New Jersey tour june 29 1989 at giant stadium They filmed the video to lay our hands on me at the thing you're in there squire and skid row open for god damn I'm in that we sat. I'm in that I'm up in there. We sat

A few rows from the literal back top wall And maybe my mom went between that and the station wagon money. You were doing all right I'll tell you that right now Holy shit. Hmm any paintings of your family No, there's a painting of me, but let me explain that. Oh my god True tv did an ad campaign where they put our faces in famous old paintings And as a gift they sent me the oil painting with like a gilded frame I'm not a psychopath. I can't hang this up in my house

So I put it in like a back room because there's lean and then like sometimes people come over and I have to be like I'm not a psychopath I'm not gonna hang it. I wanted it to be bigger to be honest But no, no, no, we don't have any paintings, but don't look the painting directly in the eye right now Uh, we get in the express lane with too many items Yeah, we'll do that Like what are we talking? I'm not gonna you're not gonna abuse. I'm gonna do it. So that's you're in a pinch I'm gonna do it so that someone at a glance can't challenge me

And I know how to position stuff in the basket too. I'm not asshole. Yeah Okay, okay. You sleep with the tv on yes, sleep with a fan on you. Sure Really? I mean, I would I mean not right. I have and I would not every night right now I have a little uh, what a purifier tune in that Very nice, not a purifier. Yeah No, no purifier. Okay. What's the vacuum cleaner at the house? Is that a dyson? It is Of course

It's gotta get a wolf rain. Do you think he's not rocking a dyson? That wasn't of course I'll tell you about the air blades in the bathroom. I'll tell you what I'll tell you Let me tell you how good is that that is the that is the pre that is the top of the line air dryer Dude, every time I do what I go that the accelerator is not too bad either the accelerator is good But it's second to the second to the dryer. Hold on. Are we talking about soulmate? Are we talking about hand dryers and public police? That we are That we are welcome to the show I it's my day my attitude changes when I get one of the dicens out in the bathrooms

I was thinking that we were on the road this weekend. I was just like it just Everything because then the handle is not wet everything's better and it's and it's stronger and it works faster It's more efficient that it's already ergonomic your nose. Yeah The dyson I got the ball the animal, but I'll tell you something to change your life get the stick as well Huh? Okay, it's hand-held. It charges. It's light. It has the attachments are usually a dust buster But you get the steps with it it has a swivel so you get right under the couch with it It's for quick cleaning. It has a turbo boost setting

It'll change your life and you're doing you have a cleaning lady or no Well, I have someone come like once a month, but you're I do I don't mind cleaning and I do all the in-between cleaning Really? Yeah, man. It's fucking fantastic. If I have you know, if and when I have time, but I do do it. Sure. Okay Um If you if you cracked open an egg. Yeah, and there was two yolks in there. Are you still eating it? No Really? What are you talking about? Yeah, I didn't even hurt such a thing. Really? I would call my local authority I don't know what that is. You've never seen that double double. No, I would have a lot of questions

I did it. I was making scrambled eggs one time it happened with two eggs. So I had I cracked two eggs. There was four. It was like back to back. Oh, that's a bit. I know man I still think about I ate it That chicken was on drugs. Yeah, I still think about it. That's weird. It's crazy. Yeah, double yolks All right, we gotta wrap it up. Yeah, we gotta wrap it up sal. This has been fucking unbelievable so much fun This has been the most one I've had in a pocket. I think in my life You heard it here folks buddy. Thank you so much sal volcano gonna be at the beacon theater may 14th Get tickies at salvolcano.com. You got anything else you want the folks aren't there to know

Uh march 11th the rhyman, uh, and then I have tour dates all over. So yeah, salvolcano comedy.com They're all up there and I don't know when this is coming out But the pre-sale for the beacon theater starts tomorrow. So I'm assuming this will be out. Yeah, so be out. Yeah So, uh, yeah, that's I mean the beacon is just blew my mind So my first time solo headlining in new york city. So I just want to sell the fuck out of that thing Love that. Yeah, absolutely. Fantastic. Congratulations. Sal. Volcano one of the best hundred percent stat now in garbage Crash through and through but we fucking love you catch him at the dump I knew it coming in. I mean

I lived next to the largest dump in the world. Do you realize red lobster is not going to leave you alone? So we heard you stole the thing Kevin, what do you got for him chat? We're on the road. We're all over the fucking country get some tickets At camera and comedy on all social media subscribe the whole nine yards. Thank you so much for listening gang We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace